#should have never been born

[sp00kysk3lly]

I was born to fail.

I could have had support throughout my childhood, if CERTAIN people had seen my autism, or CERTAIN GP’s listened to my therapists and the nursery workers who sent her proof of my autism!

I probably would have stayed in ONE school, got my GCSE’s because I’d have had the SUPPORT to cope with my BULLYING, I’d have had the support I needed to move on from that.

I might have even had a job.

But I was always set up to FAIL! By doctors, by teachers. By everyone!

I wouldn’t be stuck with C grades. Yeah, I passed. But I could have had As and Bs! But because I had to keep moving around due to getting kicked out of school, so now I’m stuck with barely a pass. I should have got an A or B grade in English! Especially English! But because of stupid bullying and NO SUPPORT from ANYBODY I passed by the skin of my teeth.

I was born to fucking fail at life.

I wish I was ABORTED or she had a MISCARRIAGE!

I’d never wish a miscarriage on anyone. But least she’d get over it eventually, nothing is worth this pain. Not a single thing!

I just want to cry. I know the truth now. I am a FAILURE. I was born to fail. I was meant to fail. God doesn’t love me. God doesn’t want me to survive.

Maybe, I should just find a way out of this world.

Nothing is worth the tears or pain anymore.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Burning Rotten Bridges

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[tahopo]

we truly regressed when people started buying into the genderbending is inherently transphobic thing. yeah that twelve year old being inquisitive and having fun on deviantart was your enemy all along.

[lgbtlunaverse]

If yu ziyuan had been a character in a different story set when she was younger I'd be on here making posts about her like "she would NOT fucking have kids" because genuinely the worst thing you could do to that woman was make her a mother. Except in the story she's in she is a mother. And that's what's wrong with her.

[yuwuta]

twin aus are fun bc sukuna is sooooo ugly and yuuji is soooooooo pretty and beautiful and lovely <3 completely understand why sukuna ends up the deliquent loser twin bc why would anybody choose him when <3yuuji<3 is right there

[strqyr]

thinking about haven, ruby sounding just like her mother and that being enough for raven to open a portal so cinder can shoot a fireball at ruby.

it's a grudge thing. both raven and cinder have a grudge against a rose.

a different kind, of course, and for different reasons, but at its core... it's there. and when i think about cinder, being told by salem to not kill ruby but finding ways to circumvent her orders, ultimately succeeding with ruby falling into a black void, something everyone thought meant death...

it wasn't, though. ruby is back on remnant, same as ever but also different, in a way. a process has happened, even if it's not outwardly apparent.

then there's summer's mission that raven was present for. taking into account summer's attitude towards raven before the mission had truly even began, the way she was framed during the scene, and the way raven views summer in the present, safe to say something went terribly wrong between the two; their friendship completely broken as the result.

it doesn't really matter who started it, but if these parallels are intentional, my gut says summer—just as cinder's grudge against ruby began at the top of the beacon tower, summer shot first; "if you're going to shoot me, shoot me. that was insulting."

the fight ends just as it did between cinder and ruby at the bridge, with summer hanging above a pool of darkness, with raven the opportunity to take the high road, to be the bigger person, only to be the cause for why summer ultimately fell.

and maybe, had raven stayed around for longer, she might have seen summer crawl her way back out from what everyone believes to be a certain death. of course, there's always the possibility that raven knew afterwards thanks to her semblance, but we haven't been given any strong reason to believe raven has a bond with summer, no confirmation of any kind despite there being opportunities to do so.

in a way, i would find it poetic if she didn't. raven's semblance is so tied to her 'one save' rule (no matter how bullshit it may or may not be when push comes to shove) that there's something about her saving those she's bonded with, but the one person she isn't gets the opposite.

[revenantghost]

Friendly reminder that this child is one (1) years old

[void-tiger]

An Idea that is also admittedly OOC but wdyd is…

Kakashi actually tracking down Itachi immediately after the Uchiha Genocide ‘cause let’s face it, he’s that good of a tracker/shinobi (even if Itachi can completely kick his ass) and single-minded when in mission-mode and was clearly not one of the ANBU/Root or S-Rank jonin enlisted for this. (If he’s going rogue instead of bending the rules for a half-hearted sanctioned pursuit? Call it his Obito&Rin Guilt Complex + remaining guilt over not keeping a better eye on his “junior” when Minato literally dragged Kakashi out of that life for a time so he could recover a bit mentally.)

Anyway. Kakashi catches up to Itachi.

But instead of finding the tween prodigy hypervigilent in bloodlust and ready to engage him in a battle, he accidentally finds the kid mid-breakdown absolutely losing it in grief and guilt once Itachi presumed he was a good distance away from any Konoha or Atasuki pursuers.

And well. This is awkward. And not at all what Kakashi expected.

Does this finally knock Kakashi a bit out of his avoidant apathy to take a more active interest in Sasuke’s and Naruto’s lives? Maybe? But well, it’s a start. Only trash abandon their comrades.

[bestworstcase]

I just realized something - I forget when exactly, but there's a point (I think v 4/5?) where Cinder is questioning the motive behind some of Salem's moves in the grand game she's playing, one of them being the choice to keep Ruby alive. Which, if Summer is one of Salem's lieutenants and Cinder knows this, it seems pretty obvious why keeping Ruby alive is part of the plan, no? Other people might jump at "That means Summer isn't working for Salem!" but you've 100% sold me on that point, so. What this implies to me, unless I'm missing something, is that Cinder and Summer don't know each other (or Cinder has somehow not connected the two silver-eyed dots with the last name Rose). Curious as to your thoughts on this - if Cinder does know Summer, is she trying to manipulate Salem in that moment? If so, what is she trying to achieve? Does it really just not occur to her that keeping the peace with Summer matters? Or that killing Summer's daughter would upset her? Or if they don't know each other despite both being in Salem's employ, how does that change things? Is it possible Summer's allegiance is for some reason a secret to the rest of Salem's circle as well? ...or am I barking up the wrong misremembered tree?

it’s 5.2 dread in the air ☺️

i do think there’s a really strong possibility that cinder hasn’t connected the dots between "don’t kill ruby" and "ruby is summer’s daughter" because:

in cinder’s mind, ruby is the Girl Who Hurt Me and that gives her tunnel vision (see also, killing the sisters before the madame and not ripping the collar off until after it was all over, or lashing out uncontrollably at winter after winter cut off her arm)

she’s probably not party to whatever private agreements exist between salem and summer with regard to yang and ruby, because that arrangement is a) between them and b) older than cinder’s time in the inner circle.

for someone like cinder, who’s never known anything but abuse, the fact that summer is related to ruby wouldn’t necessarily register to her as a reason summer would care if ruby died; from cinder’s point of view, summer is a woman who left her family behind to work with salem fourteen years ago—more than half of cinder’s lifetime—and has never wavered from that choice. it’s entirely possible summer has known cinder for longer than she knew either of her daughters, and assuming summer is the one who pulled cinder off of beacon tower (which seems likely: she’s the only one with a motive to leave ruby alive), then… summer left her own daughter lying unconscious in the rubble to rescue cinder.

so for cinder it would be very easy to misinterpret the basic facts of the situation as summer just not caring about ruby very much, if at all; after all she left ruby fourteen years ago and chose to save cinder’s life over ruby’s that one time. right?

cinder also firmly believes that salem operates on the same principle as the madame or rhodes—because that’s how the world is, right?—which means that any care or personal consideration salem might have for summer is invisible to her: if summer doesn’t care that much and salem wouldn’t hesitate to kill ruby if it became expedient to do so whether summer liked it or not, why isn’t ruby almost killing cinder, who "holds the key to our victory," enough of a reason for ruby to die?

i think its telling that cinder phrases it in the specific way she does: "i don’t understand! working with bandits? leaving ruby alive?! what’s the point? we’re strong enough to take what we want by force!"—in her mind salem’s refusal to kill ruby is a tactical decision, akin to working with the bandits, that would only make sense from a position of weakness. if salem has the power and numbers to just flatten the kingdom and rip the relics out of those vaults by brute force—and she does!—why won’t she do it? what does it matter if summer complains? she asks how high when salem says jump, just like all the rest of them do, doesn’t she?

which is the fundamental disconnect between cinder and salem; salem prefers to make and keep alliances rather than rely on overwhelming force, but cinder sees this as timidity, as a lack of confidence, and therefore as an admission of weakness. she’s not thinking "why doesn’t salem want to antagonize summer rose?" but rather "why does summer rose have this much power over salem?" and the miscommunication lies in salem just not seeing the world in this extreme zero-sum hierarchical way.

we see this same thinking at play in how cinder treats emerald, mercury, and neo; she is only "nice" to them when she requires their assistance Right Now. salem understands that she needs to give in order to get and that she has to be consistent and keep her promises even when someone is not immediately useful to her in the present moment if she wants to be able to continue to rely on that person in the future; cinder… doesn’t think about maintenance. she thinks in terms of one person having power over another and that the only reason to do someone a favor is to gain more power over them, and after a certain point you have complete control. right?? that’s how it works?

(salem voice) no.

which is what makes v8 so interesting. salem gets scared and resorts to (emotional) brute force to try controlling cinder and cinder immediately demonstrates why that doesn’t work. salem recognizes her own mistake and seeks to rectify it at once because she has always understood this principle; cinder is shocked and then suspicious because she still doesn’t really understand it but also tries it out for herself with neo a couple hours later. it chips away at the invisible wall that prevents these two from communicating effectively.

[pippindot]

I am so excited for baby buppy so excited SO EXCITED!!!!! IT IS SOON!!!!!!!!

I am slower to bond with babies than M is (she actually had her Moment with Edi over the weekend) but I am getting SO HYPE!!!! It used to be anxiety so this is a welcome change.

She is gonna be so fuckin cool you guys im obsessed im so excited

[wonder-worker]

Is it true that Elizabeth of York birth celebrated like she was a son? I have seen some historians say this.

Hi! Yes, Edward IV did celebrate his daughter’s birth as though she was a male heir (“a prince”), iirc as per the Great Chronicle.

While we have no contemporary reports at the time of Elizabeth of York's birth, we know that Luchino Dallaghiexia reported that the birth of Edward and Elizabeth's third child, Cecily of York, "rejoiced the king and all the nobles exceedingly*, though they would have preferred a son'. Wanting a son (ie: an heir) was typical for their time period, likely enhanced by Edward and Elizabeth's unprecedentedly controversial marriage, her very unsuitable origins and his own status as a usurper. The fact that he was described as being "exceedingly" delighted at the birth of his third daughter in a row regardless does support the claim that he would have gone over-the-top to celebrate the birth of his first legitimate** child.

Hope this helps!

*Bizarrely, I have seen several historians and blogs using Dallaghiexia's letter to claim that he was bitterly disappointed at Cecily of York's birth. I don't understand how historical reading comprehension can be so poor that "rejoiced the king exceedingly" has somehow been rewritten as the...exact opposite of that. With no self-awareness whatsoever. **His illegitimate daughter Margaret (known as Elizabeth for some reason) was almost definitely born before his marriage. We don't know the birth dates of his other two illegitimate children: I think the likeliest conception date for Arthur was in early 1470, but it's unverified; and we know nothing about Grace (which was in fact her surname, not her name) other than the fact that Elizabeth Woodville seems to have been very attached to her.

[jyakkopotto-saddo-gaaru]

hate the word problematic so much it used to be so fun like oh yeah this guy just being killed in this gas explosion is pretty problematic to our great plan but now i cant say it without getting flashbacks to awful twitter threads calling out some famous charity worker who marches for the rights of many for saying the word faggot in a non offensive manner in 1995 when they were 12 years old. please just say its wrong or it upsets you and move on with your life youre associating a perfectly good word with something so petty and hateful it disgusts me

[ghostydrawsstuff]

God I'm such a failure, I was clean for so long and of course I ruined that. I hate it, I hate myself. I should have been better, I'm sorry.

[cuteniaarts]

The weight of the world is a heavy burden

Especially for a child

(Or, in slightly less dramatic terms – I imagine that the first of her past lives that Avatar Suiren [who is the Avatar after Aang instead of Korra in my AU, and also Ghazan and Ming-Hua’s daughter] gets to talk to is Yangchen, because she is too plagued by memories not her own [including Jetsun’s death, fun fact]. And Yangchen wouldn’t want another child to go through what she did on their own)

(Or maybe someone just needed an excuse to draw @katkastrofa’s latest obsession in a context that interests them as well, just in time to maybe cheer her up a little? You can’t prove anything)

[acourtofquestions]

"You'll come back," Manon said.

It sounded like more of a threat than anything

Dorian smirked. "Would you miss me if I didn't?"

Manon didn't reply. He didn't know why he expected her to.

He'd taken all of a step, when Asterin clasped his shoulder. "In and out, quick as you can," she warned him. "Take care of Narene." Worry indeed shone in the Second's gold-flecked black eyes. Dorian bowed his head. "With my life," he promised as he approached her mount and grasped the dangling reins. He didn't fail to miss the gratitude that softened Asterin's features. Or that Manon had already turned away from him.

A fool to start down this path with her. He should have known better.

The hours that passed were some of the longest of Manon's existence.

From anticipation, she told herself. Of what she had to do.

Abraxos, unsurprisingly, found them within an hour, his reins sliced from the struggle he'd no doubt waged and won with Sorrel. He waited, however, beside Manon in silence, wholly focused upon the gate where Dorian and Narene had vanished.

Time dripped by. The king's sword was constant weight at her side. She cursed herself for needing to prove-to him, to herself-that she refused to let him go into Morath for practical, ordinary reasons. Erawan wasn't at the Ferian Gap. It'd be safer. Somewhat. But if the Matrons were there … That was why he'd gone. To learn if they were. To see if Petrah truly commanded the host there, and how many Ironteeth were present. He had not been trained as a spy, but he'd grown up in a court where people wielded smiles and clothes like weapons. He knew how to blend in, how to listen. How to make people see what they wished to see. She'd sent Elide into the dungeons of Morath, Darkness damn her. Sending the King of Adarlan into the Ferian Gap was no different.

It didn't stop her breath from escaping when Abraxos stiffened, scanning the sky. As if he heard something they couldn't.

And it was the joy that sparked in her mount's eyes that told her.

Moments later, Narene sailed toward them, making a lazy path over the mountains, a dark-haired, pale-skinned rider atop her. He'd truly been able to change parts of himself. Had made his face nearly unrecognizable. And kept it that way.

Asterin rushed toward the mare, and even Manon blinked as her Second threw her arms around Narene's neck. Holding her tight. The mare only leaned her head against Asterin's back and huffed.

Manon hadn't dwelled long on what she'd say.

And as the three hundred Ironteeth witches filed into the hall, some coming off their patrols, Manon half wondered if she should have. They watched her, watched the Thirteen, with a wary disdain.

Their disgraced Wing Leader; their fallen Heir.

When all were gathered, Petrah, still standing in the doorway where she'd appeared, merely said, "My life debt for an audience, Blackbeak."

Manon swallowed, her tongue as dry as paper. Seated atop Abraxos, she could see every shifting movement in the crowd, the wide eyes or hands gripping swords.

"I will not tell you the particulars of who I am," Manon said at last. "For I think you have already heard them."

"Crochan bitch," someone spat.

Manon set her eyes on the Blackbeaks, stone-faced where the others bristled with hatred. It was for them she spoke, for them she had come here.

jacket, then hoisting up her white shirt. Rising in the stirrups to bare her scarred, brutalized abdomen. "She does not lie."

UNCLEAN

There, the word remained stamped. Would always be stamped.

"How many of you," Asterin called out, "have been similarly branded? By your Matron, by your coven leader? How many of you have had your stillborn witchlings burned before you might hold them?"

The silence that fell now was different from before. Shaking shuddering.

Manon glanced at the Thirteen to find tears in Ghislaine's eyes as she took in the brand on Asterin's womb. Tears in the eyes of all of them, who had not known. And it was for those tears, which Manon had never seen, that she faced the host again.

"You will be killed in this war, or after it. And you will never see our homeland again."

"What is it that you want, Blackbeak?" Petrah asked from the archway.

"Ride with us," Manon breathed. "Fly with us.

Against Morath. Against the people who would keep you from your homeland, your future." Murmuring broke out again. Manon pushed ahead, "An Ironteeth-Crochan alliance. Perhaps one to break our curse at last."

Again, that shuddering silence. Like a storm about to break Asterin sat back in the saddle, but kept her shirt open.

"The choice of how our people's future shall be shaped is yours," Manon told each of the witches assembled, all the Blackbeaks who might fly to war and never return. "But I will tell you this." Her hands shook, and she fisted them on her thighs. "There is a better world out there. And I have seen it."

Even the Thirteen looked toward her now.

"I have seen witch and human and Fae dwell together in peace. And it is not weakness to do so, but a strength. I have met kings and queens whose love for their kingdoms, their peoples, is so great that the self is secondary. Whose love for their people is so strong that even in the face of unthinkable odds, they do the impossible."

Manon lifted her chin. "You are my people. Whether my grandmother decrees it so or not, you are my people, and always will be. But I will fly against you, if need be, to ensure that there is a future for those who cannot fight for it themselves. Too long have we preyed on the weak, relished doing so. It is time that we became better than our foremothers." The words she had given the Thirteen months ago. "There is a better world out there," she said again. "And I will fight for it." She turned Abraxos away, toward the plunge behind them. "Will you?"

Manon nodded to Petrah. Eyes bright, the Heir only nodded back. They would be permitted to leave as they had arrived: unharmed.

So Manon nudged Abraxos, and he leaped into the sky, the Thirteen following suit.

Not a child of war. But of peace.

[einaudis]

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