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this is technically stand completely on its own from the AU, but frenemy coworkers jesse and petra is very important to me

the only reason they havent been fired yet is because no one else wants to work the night shift

they are... INCREDIBLY hostile but they are actually really good friends and make the job bearable for each other

i miss working in food service PURELY bc i miss locking my coworker into the walk in freezer </3 and in turn getting my knees kicked into the counter </3

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jesse my stupid (・∀・) son

pt.1 | pt.2

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blizzard hates ME personally and wants me dead btw

omg wow! a new skins bundle! AND it has my favorite hero in it! Can't wait to see whats inside!

well of course!

*in between gross sobs* i-its like... *gasp* they dont even... they dont- dont even CARE a-about him!!!

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ok in some sort of freak stroke of luck i found the game. or at least its sequel (i cant find the first one?)

i couldnt tell at first because the game description was kind of generic

BUT THATS HER!!! I KNOW HER!!!! WE IN THE LIBRARY AGAIN!!!!

its hard to say what about this game stuck with me so hard, i dont feel like it was very good, and yet i still think about it after all these years.

the reason i dont remember the ending is because there was a huge expanded universe you are supposed to explore in other games, but i didnt really... want to. so instead i was just trying to understand an impossibly big story i would NEVER be able to grasp within this game.

really added to the whole feeling of hopeless time looping thing

i liked the twist of the library being useless, she says its important during YOUR first loop, and she only thinks that because YOU told her that LATER when shes in HER first loop. a perfectly closed paradox.

i liked how all the characters clearly had different artists and dont seem to exist in the same universe. could be thematic, but also just looks cool

and i liked how you had a turn to be the traitor, what could the game makers POSSIBLY say that can get ANYONE to turn to murder? what excuse could close the cognitive dissonant gap? (i think it was usually a 'you or them' set up, but still, would that work for EVERYONE? how come no one ever rebelled in any of the loops?)

when protagonists are usually hailed as a paragon, what would it take for them to be the traitor?

i dont think this game does a particularly good job at exploring that idea or anything, but i think it was the first time i was introduced to the concept, and yk... CLEARLY that left an impression.

a lot of these interesting concepts were done better in Raging Loop lol. except i have a personal vendetta against Raging Loop and how it handles its mystery (MCSM RAGING LOOP AU WHEN????? as in just a fleshed out AU about the dream. fuck raging loop. ok guys actually Raging Loop is a goated game, just dont play like ....the last 1/4th)

the thing about a time looping death game, is that life and death have no value. nothing is permanent. the traitor will never have to live with the weight of their actions. why NOT be the traitor once or twice?

im having murder dreams again, about mcsm

we are so back

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jesse pov character. very episode 6. scary mansion. traitor afoot. run.

more werewolf/mafia game esque

everyone knows there IS a traitor, they haven't necessarily been betrayed yet.

everyone starts off on the grand hall. they are split into teams, people you SHOULD be able to trust but paranoia is so high they all just run off to try and find a way to defend themselves

and well, when you're looking for a traitor, and you run into someone all alone holding a weapon, it comes down to who can defend themselves first

the new order is all there, they are the only group successful at like... not instantly turning on each other lol

the night goes on. it gets worse. no sign of the 'traitor' but people are dropping like flies (Alice in Borderland 10 of hearts moment)

they eventually have a solid alliance going, the order and a couple other stragglers that have been helping out,

one of the guys in your group admits to being the traitor, that doesn't have time to set in before some other rando kills you in the chaos

and then Jesse wakes back up in the grand hall, the rules being explained again. EZ he already knows the answer. except ... that guy isn't there anymore. a handful of players have been replaced with other random people. back to square one

Jesse tried to hint to his team about the loop but no one seems to know what he's talking about

all his attempts to gather more info in the situation are completely fruitless

rinse and repeat a couple times, each loop ending is gruesome death. he has no more information than when he started

just a distinct feeling that Someone Is Watching

he gets impatient and decides to start killing people off himself (weirdly implied HES the traitor? maybe?) he knows there isn't any consequences to his outbursts.

he doesn't even need a weapon he's just straight overpowering people, pinning them down and asking if they remember any previous rounds and killing them when they don't give him an answer he wants

he kills about 3 people before descending deeper into the house

he can sense someone waiting in the dark, he decides to switch tactic and just talk to them, calling out ti then empty space and he approaches

but his reputation proceeds him, Lukas lunged out and sticks a knife straight into his gut

lukas is the only one that's scared

"you're not Jesse"

"lukas it's me."

"..."

"do you remember the first round? when we teamed up with [that one guy]?"

lukas looks like he MIGHT recall, it's the closest thing he's gotten to a confirmation

"we gotta get out of here. I don't know how many more loops I can take. I need your help"

before he can get a response Jesse dies again. ending the loop.

except it doesn't restart again. things get weird and derailed [dream stuff]. Jesse wasn't supposed to tell anyone he was Aware. They Were Still Watching.

---

this dream was definitely inspired by a game on itch.io i played years ago (and wish I remembered the name to, keyword was 'library' though)

I dont remember how it ended, but I dont think they ever made it out

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made this and then passed out due to the lack of blood flowing to my brain

butch akihiko..... save me butch akihiko....

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@nejishadow i only know how to do like FOUR things in after effects and this is one of them! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡ here 4 u!

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okay ive been watching glee for the first time to bond with my sisters girlfriend

anyways i just watched the Grilled Cheesus episode. devastating. this episode aired in 2010 and i know damn well im not the first person to get their claws in it but i have SO. MANY. THOUGHTS.

its glee. its not that serious. crazy batshit stuff is happening all the time. (im watching S2x4 rn, i dont wanna hear will ever say diva-off again, we'll get to it)

BUT ONE THING ABOUT ME IS IM GONNA WRITE A THINK PIECE!!!

okay obviously theres the juxtaposition in the two storylines of

finn sees the face of jesus in his grilled cheese and starts praying to it, making three wishes on it that all mysteriously come true, making him believe in god

and kurt struggles with his father in the hospital, unsure if he will recover and scared he's going to lose the only parent he has left. everyone else is trying to give him hope by believing in god, but kurt doesnt believe in god given he is an OPENLY gay man who is constantly bullied for being so (maybe watching Duets while writing this is a bad idea...im gonna lose my mind. please give him a BREAK)

obv this is intentional and done really well! despite finn doing.... that i dont feel like we were robbed of those really heavy hitting emotional beats with kurt and his dad

but i know im far from the first person to notice... finn used his wishes to touch boobs and be quarterback again. he did NOT pray for burt even though he blew up at kurt for no one telling him he was in the hospital because he DOES kind of see burt as a dad. finn and kurt are framed like brothers.

the show even points this out, puck says HES been praying for burt and finn lies and says he has too

and as someone who has a similar relationship to god as kurt, WHY DID NO ONE APOLOGIZE EVEN ONCE FOR CROSSING A VERY CLEAR BOUNDARY HE SET. THE ONLY PERSON TO STAND UP FOR HIM WAS SUE SYLVESTER AND SHE IS ALWAYS PRESENTED AS AN AWFUL AWFUL PERSON (she wasnt even just doing it to be evil this time! she had her own very personal experience of feeling like God had let her down and no one was listening! one of like... the three times sue is a good person!)

obv the step brother thing was a little weird when kurt had a crush on him, but worth noticing kurt had a crush on him BECAUSE finn was one of the only guys to ever like... even vaguely be nice to him ONE time

thats to say, two brothers, two sides of the same coin

kurt obviously being bullied for being gay while finn gets to thrive off of being straight

(im never going to get over kurt throwing the diva-off to protect his dad)

S1x18 when they are supposed to sing songs that represent themselves, Kurt's pretending to be straight and sings Pink Houses, something that's supposed to be super Manly And Hetero Which Kurt Is Not, and everyone agrees this isnt him.

I DISAGREE!!!! this is how the show describes the song, "no its about how the 80s were a tough time for a lot of people and the american dream isnt all its cracked up to be" Which is a really touching theme from a queer perspective!!! Kurt is essentially going up there and performing drag in a subversive heteronormative performance!!

(will schuester u dont understand queer arts PUT IT DOWN!! YOU DONT GET TO SPEAK ON IT!!!)

on the other hand, finn performing Jessie's Girl is... pretty shallow. He just Literally Wants Jessie's Girl (which is a really weird thing to perform IN FRONT OF Jesse... and His Girl... and also the ENTIRE CLUB LIKE THATS SO UNCOMFORTABLE) he literally goes first, he sets the example and is praised for it!

everyone just kind of brushed off kurts performance! it was unexpected but he fucking ate that! he should be allowed to use his lower register more!

Grilled Cheesus is just another example of Kurt's deep emotional story beats being brushed under the rug by Finn's mediocrity. (still watching Duets, finn and rachel saying they are simply too good to NOT win this competition is pissing me off. KURT THREW THE DIVA OFF. DO NOT FORGET THAT MS. BERRY)

anyways. kurt just deserves better. finn needs to LOCK TF IN!!!

i hope will schuester dies

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ewwwwww he did WHAT

mcsm x kkm pt.1

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sacrificial beast 🌭

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im not allowed to think about William too long or i go into a despair induced psychosis

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MCSM x KKM character roles

for the uh. three people in the world total that might be familiar with both of these IPs. heres a chart on how ive been setting things up

yea so I just thoug-

JUST KIDDING

I DONT ACTUALLY THINK ANYONE HAS ENOUGH CONTEXT TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ON THAT CHART

THIS IS THE ONLY PART OF ANY REAL IMPORTANCE

I JUST NEEDED AN EXCUSE TO SHOW OFF THAT SOREN IS TECHNICALLY LADY CELI

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2025 art fight dump! :P

god gave me a mid-art fight brain injury because team crystals wouldn't have stood a chance trust

ended up sitting out the second half with a purple heart

(ﾒ￣▽￣)︻┳═一 ill gettem next time

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mcsm 'fuck my stupid baka life' AU

ok... i know the last crossover didnt really have a huge demographic... i dont think this will be any better.

anyways

MCSM X KYO KARA MAOH! AU ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ

this is more of a proof of concept as i iron out the world and how i want to present this. im aware most people wont be.. familiar with the second source, and im planning a lengthy more in-depth intro establishing the world.

im not really thinking of this as a story from start to finish, and more of building a sandbox to play in. less plot heavy. (full disclosure i never finished kkm and am probably due a rewatch if i want to get the details right)

tldr; mcsm isekai minimum wage worker jesse prophesied demon king x former crown prince mildly spoiled lukas (cue INSANE amount of shenanigans)

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Comment “quirky” to affirm ✨

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A Seedy Place and The Death of The Hero

Okay to preface. Because I'm obnoxious. 'The Death of The Hero' is not a... coined or consistent term? I believe? When I was making this concept I THOUGHT I was referencing something I had heard of? But I CANNOT find whatever I was on about. There's the book, 'Death of a Hero' but... like **I** didnt know that until after so this is a self defined term. Unless it turns out the book is really fitting idk i didnt read it.

When I think about the Death of a Hero im thinking about whatever happens After the journey. when the dust settles where is the line between man and mythos. what do you do next? how many adventures can you carry on your back? how much expectation can you manage?

kind of a play on 'die a hero or live long enough to become a villain',

i just think theres more ways to 'die a hero' than actual death, OR villainy. since 'hero' is a term usually... bestowed upon someone. even if you CLAIM to be a hero, you have to prove it. you have to be RECOGNIZED as a hero.

so when do they 'die'? when do they stop being a 'hero'?

what IS a hero?

is it enough to just be someone with good intentions? someone who speaks up? saving people? making change? a 'hero' an identity or just a label? is it the person or the impact? is being a hero and the protagonist the same thing?

ok. theres the idea. i think this ties into mcsm a lot with like... The Order of the Stone being frauds (they DIE as heros when exposed as frauds), the line of Jesse saying they didnt choose to be a hero (being a hero is a role GIVEN to you, a distinct lack of agency in the matter), and the entire final decision of s2 (does jesse 'die' as a hero if he chooses to stay? isnt that the better option? jesse almost got SOOO many people killed because they kept adventuring and 'hero-ing', if jesse hadnt managed to save the day would THAT be them 'dying' as a hero? causing more problems than its worth?) and like tim. yea.

its all kind of iffy since its all subjective and about perception, but then tie that perception back into the man vs mythos idea. does the 'hero' label only count when you have someone to perceive you as such?

ok. so. a seedy place. all three POVs are meant to be a different angle on this concept.

Jesse-

Jesse is a lot of the man vs mythos idea, but is also... very meta in how i handled him. dissecting him as a hero in and out of the narrative. his story is about failure. despite his reluctance to pick up another world ending adventure, he does it because he must. because people are in danger. because its his job to save them. hey, as long as he has his friends he can do anything, right?

anyways i hes almost instantly isolated. and everyone he interacts with, everything he tries to rally together, they all die and the only help he can offer is some reverence once they die. (or in cassies case, she turns down his attempt at redemption. shes already too far gone)

he fails and he fails and he fails and the man who saved the world (twice!) is seemingly no longer capable of making a difference. despite his initial resolve, he doesnt manage to save anyone.

this is his death. his inability to be a hero anymore. to let people down.

hes on a wild goose chase, trying to get a better look at reuben, but also trying to find someone to save

when he finds reubens dead body, this is a failure of both. reuben died before he got here, hes been a failure all a long

The Hero Has Died, but jesse doesnt get to die here. that would have been a tragic heros death, he isnt a hero anymore

he is pushed into an EXTREMELY passive role after this point, he doesnt get a pov anymore, he doesnt get to speak, he doesnt make decisions (even him running off at the end, is either pure possession.... or perhaps.... petra lied...)

when he reunites with his friends they are relieved to have Jesse back, jesse fixes everything everytime, but he fails them too because he Isnt A Hero Anymore

he dies 'off-screen'. pure irrelevancy. the narrative doesnt respect him anymore. his epic legend tale for the ages ends.... inconclusive and unsatisfying. antithetical to any mythos he may have been remembered in.

he is no longer the kind of person whose story demands to be remembered. a tragedy without any of the catharsis that true tragedies require. if he cant be a hero, than he becomes nothing.

Petra-

Petra 'dies' as a hero because she ends up being entirely self serving if not actively malicious. shes more of the 'live long enough to be a villain' angle. its a mix of her own flaws and supernatural side effects dictating her fall to madness. none of these are 'heroic' traits.

Hanging Radar in the bathroom (this happens after she storms away from Olivia's body, just to be clear) is when shes the LEAST in control. she is COMPLETELY taken over by darkening and NOT at ALL in charge of her actions. but this happens pretty early, but is to show that she is already way in deeper than she realizes. even when she IS in control and is just starting to corrupt further, its already too late. theres already guilt on her shoulders she isnt aware of.

as she starts lashing out and becomes less and less empathetic to her friends, its like a self filling prophecy. she has already become the worst version of herself.

this way of writing her is really... unfair. shes tragic for a lot of reasons but the narrative spares her no grace.

her character also fights against its lack of control. she didnt want to keep stella around, and therefore gets to leave her behind guiltless. hanging radar was NOT her choice, but throwing him down the stairs is. petra was 'compelled' to pick up the paper doll in the first place, but is also one of the only ones to make it out, and in the end shes the only one to retain any control over the situation.

shes far from retaining any sort of 'valiant hero' status, but is managing to remain the 'protagonist' in her own story as she fights for her agency, but in doing so has become the biggest villain.

Lukas-

Lukas is the man vs mythos but... in a very different way than jesse. jesse dies a hero in terms of mythos and in terms of a story. lukas 'dies' as a hero because.... hes just a man at the end of the day.

jesse cant just be a man because hes consumed by being a hero and lukas cant be a hero because hes too much of a man

i do think Lukas's hero arc is the best communicated in story tho

his flaws arent a fall from grace, but instead more of... just revealing who he was all along. who he was before being forced into the spotlight and who he tried to be while adjusting to the spotlight.

he is left to fill this role that he just... doesnt fit into. he CANT be the hero they need, for anyone. he gets shifted more into the 'protagonist' role, overtaking jesse, but doesnt quite become 'the hero'. stuck in this limbo state.

his need to be a better hero is contrasting his self serving habits.

Radar-

radar isnt a hero. he is an admirer of heros

that is until... of course... all three heros present ALL let him down and fail him in their own individual way. he has no hope and no role model to follow. his world view is shaken and he has to rebuild his sense of self from the ground up.

he doesnt get a POV because he is NOT supposed to fit into this 'hero' archetype, completely removed from this experience.

but... he kind of starts.... to step up a bit. He steps in to save LUKAS several times, instead of the other way around, building the groundwork to be considered one of these 'heros'. he has a very dramatic arc of burning and rebuilding, worthy of the narrative, but never really gets to be acknowledged by it.

his death is punishment. punishment for petra as she commits to a previous decision that wasnt hers to make, punishment for lukas for failing to step up and be a reliable hero, and punishment for radar as he tries to escape his narrative role.

i think his burn and rebuild method makes him the most fit in the transition from mcsm to corpse party. the other three fail because they are all still expecting to live in a world where the good guys win, where they can trust each other and sticking together is THE strategy. they fail as heros because this ISNT their story.

radar is introduced to his world and forced to adapt fast and early, at the cost of resembling anything close to his original character

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The Designated Youth

These posts are a lot of me just raving about Corpse Party (bc thats lowkey the entire point of the AU tbh) and going "IT'S PEAK!!!! IT'S SO PEAK!!!!!!" but Yuka is like a huuugee hole in that argument.

I wish I could defend her because I DO think she's over hated but like... she's not... good.

She's a plot device at best and a poorly disguised fetish at worst.

Okay that's not fair to her but her flaws outweigh anything good about her. I can craft a Version of Yuka that I like in my head, just by fleshing her out a liiiitttlleee bit more (and dropping the piss thing... and the being in love with her brother thing.... it's a shame that's like 2/3 of her character) But lets focus on that 1/3!!!

I liked the scented beads. Doing her best to pay back her older brother for everything, including protecting her in Heavenly Host (this is a sweet gesture ignoring the incest vibes, and later confirmation of said vibes) As a younger sibling, there is this feeling of debt you will never be able to pay off, a noble duty to give back.

I think her jumping in after Satoshi when he falls and dies in that one Wrong End is a good. (It's a little lazy and seems like a way to just... wrap up the loose ends but I would probably do the same thing for my sister tbh...) I also like her interactions with Sachiko, suddenly being like a big sister to her (even though Sachiko is a dead ringer for 'creepy ghost girl, do not trust', and Sachiko lowkey paying it back in kind? like saying her from Kizami? Even though she can and will kill Yuka later??? tbh i dont rlly get it. would have to revisit)

She's a little spoiled and acts younger than she is for attention. That's like verbatim from the game but we never really get to explore that. Like thats more to let her play into that Little Sister Archetype than actual characterization. She's a little too clingy, a little naive, a little immature, which is to be expected. We never get to see something 'raw' from her. Like she never feels like a person. A huge chunk (of the 1/3) is that she is forgiving and nice in an insanely unrealistic way. Like with Kizami (we are just going to ignore the undertones of all of their interactions) She just entirely revolves around the people she's with rather than... ever having an identifiable personality.

Just giving her the littlest bit of extra thought and analysis feels like giving the writers too much credit tbh.

We never get to see her like... properly react to The Horrors. Like yeah shes scared but she never gets to stop being 'nice' even though she's LITERALLY in hell. (see this COULD be characterization but I kind of... doubt it)

I did give Olivia one of her Wrong Ends though, so she did something right.

Her and Radar are paired together because they are the Younger ones. (kind of like how Ivor and Yui are the Older one's) I will say that Radar and Lukas are meant to be written as Brothers, so he's also technically The Little Sibling Role. Although with my critiques on Yuka I swung HARD in the opposite direction.

Radar gets to see the Horrors and FAST. This is NOT prison Radar. Almost dying in the bathroom WOULD have been traumatizing either way, but it's the constant betrayal of the people he looks up to that makes him unrecognizable from his former self.

Petra being the one to hang him in the bathroom absolutely shatters his worldview. He can't trust anyone anymore. It's kind of like finding out the Order of the Stone were a bunch of frauds but like... worse. It's why he's so pessimistic about going home. He doesn't want to see Petra again, he knows his previous reality is gone.

It makes him take Lukas down from his previous pedestal and well. Lukas is flawed. Just like anyone else but to Radar it feels like another betrayal. (Especially when Lukas tells him to kill himself lol) Him and Lukas work through it but Radar is incredibly disillusioned.

Jesse not being... himself anymore is a breaking point for him. Not just ANOTHER one but THE infallible Hero letting him down just like everyone else. Radar has been using Jesse as a personal beacon of hope, 'Jesse wouldn't give up'. (related note: I always gave Jesse Tim's armor) But now left with an empty husk instead of a hero, he's exhausted all his role models. Jesse survived the Witherstorm and the Admin and yet THIS is his breaking point. Why should Radar even try? It's not like he has anything left waiting for him.

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WE DID IT!!!

CHAPTER 8!!!! OF A SEEDY PLACE!!!!

(theres more under the cut but its all gonna be spoiler-y)

its still just some rough sketches n story-boarding but... heres my current WIP for this AU! a little love letter to how far it's managed to go! one of the few stories to make it out of the notes app!!!

if nothing else, it's helped me find some footing and im expecting a lot more to make it out of the notes app \(^ヮ^)/

tomorrow ill probably post the rada/yuka parallel post (finally. its been haunting my drafts)

and then some posts breaking down of themes and characters and some Why I Did What I Did maybe a day or two after that. wrapping up some more loose ends and things i wanted to Write but are all in subtext or whatever (pretentious asshole posting)

i think this project had been severely detrimental to my mental health.

thats a joke... but also i think i need a break from the constant brainstorming of tragedy and grief (once i post a 'finished' vers of the animation, ill probably put this AU into full retirement for a bit. dont actually know how to animate so. who knows when that will be.)