#why am I doing this for minimum wage.

[soxithink]

My octoling every big run

Bright red sky after a storm when I was working at Walmart a few years ago. Still one of my favorite pictures

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Anyone have any experience working for DoorDash, Uber Eats, or the likes of them? How is it, and which one is best?

[kushamisaru]

Stop giving people moral ocd or I'm gonna pepper spray your underwear drawer

[not-poignant]

Jesus H Christopher, Pia. Your writing load is insane.

Maybe you should cut back on how many chapters you release for certain stories? Like Stain and Palma (since these stories dont equal income) until UtB the other Underline stories are almost done. Just a thought

Because I feel burnt out just by thinking of writing that much, so I can only imagine how you feel. Please take care of yourself

Hi anon,

TL;DR: My brain is stupid, which is why I can't do this, even though it makes sense and is logical.

Unfortunately the fanfiction is what often makes the original fiction possible, or more enjoyable.

If I lock myself down into too much schedule and rigidity, or if I only focus on writing for money, I actually start to hate writing, even if I love the stories. There is nothing like 'will this earn money, do people like this, would people pay, what if they all decide to stop paying for this, why would they pay for this, would I pay for this, how much would people pay for this, is there any incentive for them to pay for this, actually if I wrote a ton of different tropes maybe I'd make more for this, but that's depressing, but I need the money, shit what do I do, what if I lose my income, what if it all stops tomorrow, I need to write more, I need to write more, I need to write more' that is actually very exhausting and makes writing not much fun at all.

And to deliberately break out of that headspace as much as possible, I write fanfiction. Because that headspace (the one I wrote about above), on its own, even if I'm only writing two stories, can and has led to burnout and depressive episodes. I don't recommend it.

In a way, one of the reasons I can write so many stories right now (ADHD meds aside) is that I am letting myself break out and just have fun with fanfiction, and remember that my original writing is meant to be fun too. But without fanfiction, I lose sight of that very quickly.

Fanfiction means that when an original story chapter does super badly, generally there are still excited comments elsewhere that keep me going. That's how I survived The Ice Plague, and that story would never have been completed without fanfiction, because that was my worst performer of any story I've ever written. It also means if a lot of subscribers leave at once, I don't feel like The Worst Writer In The World. So having fanfiction behind me was like...a literal safety net or my security blanket.

If I have to discard my security blankets or use them less often in order to keep writing the original stuff, I might as well just stop entirely, because my longest hiatuses from Patreon (i.e. one lasted 1.5 years, many have lasted 4-6 months) have been when I'm mostly just writing original fiction, and am not writing much fanfiction, or not deliberately finding time for it, and finally get so stressed out re: money I literally have to stop. I'm on a (partial) Disability Pension.

A long time ago some professional people told me I probably shouldn't be working at all because of my mental illnesses and then paid me money because of the severity of those mental illnesses. My dumbass brain be pretty fragile, actually, and keeps chugging away because I make bad business decisions and write stuff I enjoy instead of writing to market, or doing rapid release, or releasing more novels (or novels). Writing does ironically help when I'm stressed, but not when I'm stressed about making money because of writing.

I will cut at my income before I cut at my love of this job, and unfortunately fanfiction keeps me going in this job, which means I can't really cut at that first.

(Also from a business perspective, it's actually a very good funnel to the original stuff and then subscription. Most of you wouldn't be here if you hadn't read one of my fanfics first and then gave the original stuff a try - I try not to think about that too much because I need fanfic to not be about money, but the fact is, I would not have this career without fanfic).

I do have plans to take two weeks off in January from posting chapters (I can still post rewards in the second half of January) and that's not too far away.

And the reality is that I probably would have kept going okay if real life hadn't imploded on top of everything like the world's worst bukkake party.

[thegreenleavesofspring]

A genuinely horrible thought just occurred to me. Would everyone please pray that the court does not order me to put my children in public school so that I can go get 'a real job'?

[standfucker]

not gonna lie yall, it feels like all I do is either work or recover from work and it's bumming me out big time

[2024skin]

I think about moving out more and more every day

[tepli-mravenci]

Everyone else at my minimum wage part-time job: *doing as little as possible to get by*

Me at my minimum wage part-time job: *stressed constantly that I'm not doing enough or I'm doing something wrong while not stopping to rest for multiple hours*

[lottieurl]

insert a circle and it goes i'm broke -> i'm broke -> i'm broke -> i'm broke

[silverislander]

people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?

[stonerzelda]

like do you know how many customers have said some rude shit to me over me wesring a mask. And none of my coworkers ever back me up or at least check on me when they leave lol. Like sorry but what happened to solidarity between coworkers i dont fckin understand. I know they buy into homeopathy already but when someone harasses ur coworker and you can see theyre visibly shaken by it why wouldnt you say anything if youre not gonna back them up lol. A lady made the first positive comment abt my mask yesterday and said "im glad youre wearing one too, i dont wanna get sick" and my coworkers laughed making incredulous expressions. Like ok nuce to see a reaction out of you for once ill go fuck myself guys thank you 🫡

[skrunksthatwunk]

not to doomer post. but. american politics is like here's a conservative warmonger who wants to burn you alive personally and here's a different conservative warmonger who definitely wouldn't stop someone from burning you alive BUT who might raise the minimum wage by $0.30/hour for you, but only like eight years from now (so re-elect me please!! >w<). yes one of them has to be president they are the only two options we'll let you have. no neither of them will stop the government from killing you or anyone else, but at least one will say "it's kind of bad to kill people :( someone should really do something about that..." while giving the people-killers $20,000,000,000,000 to keep doing it then saying they can't afford to help you at all, but oh shucks, maybe next cycle, if you vote for me again! and also everyone will pretend as though they are extremely different political entities covering two highly polarized ends of the political spectrum despite nearly identical policy views obscured by their slightly different ways of addressing their target audiences, many of whom are also conservative warmongers. and also if you don't vote or vote third party the other guy will win and you will watch as they burn everyone you love alive in the same way they've burned so many strangers so you kind of feel like you have to vote for the other warmonger because even though they both have blood on their hands you'll take a handshake over an uppercut. even if you can still see the bodies piling up behind them. even if you can only save like five people you know and not the thousands of people who are dying in the other room. because you believe the difference between 30,000 and 30,005 is still worth it even though no one needed to die in the first place and no one seems to agree with you. you have to keep living in this world every day. if anything changes it will take decades and it will never be enough. if this takes a toll on you good fucking luck surviving off the generosity of the warmonger state that claims to serve you. happy voting!!

[bas-rouge]

Me: be patient

Also me: *refreshing my email every 20 minutes*

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

Working on a collage with kittens is just a constant "Oh fuck don't eat that!" As they try and play with your Very Important pieces of paper before you can glue them down

[wild-houseplant]

WIP Wednesday

Heyooooo thank you for the tag marvellous @heniareth and consequently delighting me with the goings-on of Astala my beloved!! And, like a seagull screaming for chip, I tag you back and @bumblerhizal , @siriskulksnerding , @ollifree for a no-pressure but please give snippets if available. 8) 8) 8)

(I may have been tagged in WIPs by others but my history isn’t loading atm so if you did please consider yourself tagged as well!!)

I’ve been futzing around with all 3 DA fics of late, and I just published the latest chapter of HWWT (posting soon to a dashboard near you but AO3 is here) but I have two snippets if that’s ok, one from The Minimum Wage, and the other from Your Personal Hero. I’m hoping that by posting snippets I’ll finally get the brainwave I need to wrap up the latest chapters of each... I’ll stick ‘em under the cut!

TMW:

Zevran woke up shivering. The fact that he had actually woken at all was motivation enough to get out of bed and begin the day.

Which was good, because the knocking at the door was getting impatient.

“Honestly,” came a familiar voice from the other side of the wood, “I don’t know why you’d pretend to be dead when you knew I was– oh, SHIT, the bastard’s died of the cold!” The door flexed and rattled as the Fire Warden proceeded to hastily bash it. 

He’d be on the hook for who-knew-how-much if this woman broke his bloody door. Zevran hurried over and released the lock, stepping aside just in time for the door to burst open and the Fire Warden to scream past him in a crouch-run. She, and her armfuls of chimney sweeping supplies, finally came to a halt when she was almost at the window.

Zevran raised an eyebrow. “Dear lady,” he purred, “had I known you were so keen to see me, I would have dressed a little better, maybe found some wine for us both.” 

The Fire Warden shot him a withering look. She straightened up and smoothed out her robes. “Might you have opened the door a little sooner, too?” she enquired pointedly. “I thought you’d turned up your bloody toes on me!”

§

YPH:

“You… I do not know what you want from me,” Zevran says quietly, stiffly. 

My heart sinks. “Nothing, sweetheart.”

Irritability flickers in his eyes. “... Do you wish me to love you? Is that it?” 

“No! Well, not unless you want to.”

“And after all this? Hmm? What then? What would you have me do, once I am registered and such?”

“Dunno. Not my choice.”

“Then whose is it?” he asks impatiently.

I give Zevran a meaningful look and gesture at him. It’s like he hasn’t been listening at all. 

“Yours!” I exclaim. “You choose what you want to do in life, not me. Maybe you’ll take up a trade, or spend your days in the library. Hell, you could get a one-way ticket to the other side of the world if you want. Carve out a life of fame and riches there, and the only time I’d see you is when you appear on the news.”

He snorts. “You really believe I could do any of that, do you?”

“Ugh. I knew it was too soon to tell you.” I groan and mash my hand into my face.

[fingertipsmp3]

One thing about me is I will buy myself treats I literally do not deserve because I didn’t do anything whatsoever