#whos most likely event
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I fear mammon would be the most likely to end up with a strange tattoo. Specifically, one that looks like a mix of MC and Zach Galifianakis.
Anon, I just need you know how old that reference made me feel.
And yes, he would.
But! I actually headcannon this one to be Satan.
Mammon or Asmo would be too predictable. But Satan, well...
Link to the event post
"Hurts, doesn't it?", you question sitting next to the fourth born on his bed as he sits up very slowly, gripping his head.
"Here, take this", you say offering out your hand which held a glass filled with a mystery concoction for him to drink, in which he tries to decline, waving your hand away.
That party at The Fall went on much longer than you or any of the others had anticipated. You hadn't planned on going out, and neither did Satan. But, Asmo's incessant nagging mixed with Mammon's pleas had worn down on the both of you, causing +2 to be added to Team Party.
The booze were free, if you recall correctly. Something about a wrap party on a film that was shooting, and Asmo was good friends with the main actress. You're not going to lie, your head is pretty blurry too. But, what you were feeling looked like seemingly nothing next to Satan's hangover.
You sigh at his refusal, grabbing his arm yourself and forcing the glass into his hands.
"Drink", you command him, maybe not even realizing it was a command.
He sits up further in his bed, squinting his eyes open to stare at the glass of swirling, shimmering silver liquid. His voice comes out strained, "What the hell is that?".
"I'm actually not sure", you look down at the glass almost just as hesitantly. Seeing how heavily it was affecting him, you'd gone to Solomon and asked him to whip up something to help Satan out. You just silently pray to Diavolo that whatever he 'whipped' up that lie in the blonde's hands was a potion and not his attempt at a smoothie or something. That'd surely kill him.
He shoots you a questioning look, to which you respond with the sorcerer's name and a shrug of your shoulders. "But you want to feel better right?".
He gives one more unsure glance at the glass before downing the mixture as quickly as possible, slamming the cup down on his nightstand, shuttering at the aftertaste.
"So", you ask, "now that you're conscious, mind telling me where you ran off to last night?".
One second he sat next to you, accepting another shot from a waitress who brought little glasses around on a serving tray, and the next he was MIA. You swear you only looked away for a minute, so where could he have gone?
Concerned, you grabbed his brothers from the dance floor, having them help you search around the building. When none of you found him, you expanded your search to the downtown area, but there was no sign of the demon of wrath.
Running out of leads, the three of you traveled back to the House of Lamentation with the intention of telling Lucifer about the predicament, only to find Satan passed out in his bed.
"Did you just come home to sleep? Why didn't you tell any of us. I didn't think you were that drunk".
He tries to fully sit up now, interrupting himself with a hiss of pain. "I don't remem-", he grunts now, grabbing his left side, causing you to panic.
"What's wrong?", you begin examining him, a hand falling on his back for support. "Are you alright?".
"I don't know. It feels like my skin's been stung, and"
Once again he stops talking as he lifts that part of his shirt to look at the source of the pain.
Your face falls.
His face falls.
"Satan."
"I have absolutely no idea where this came from."
"How long have you had this?"
"I told you, I have no recollection of ever getting... that.'
You stare at the words emblazoned right above his hip. In a fancy, cursive font, adorned with cat paws and hearts, was unmistakably your name.
"Huh. Well, I'm flattered", you boast, trying your best not to burst out laughing as his face begins glowing in both anger and embarrassment. "So that must have been where you went. I've got to say Satan, I never took you as the tattoo type."
"I'm not!", he yells over sad attempt to hide your giggles, turning his face to the side to hide his very obvious blush.
"But... I guess.... if it were anything... I'm glad its your name."
Now it was your turn to blush. "W-well c'mon, lets go see about getting it removed then", you start as you begin to get up from the bed, flustered.
"Wait", he grabs your arm to stop you from leaving. "I must admit, I kind of like it. Would you mind if I kept it?".
#obey me#whos most likely event#obey me mc#obey me satan#obey me shall we date#om#omswd#obey me nightbringer#omnb#satan x mc#obey me x mc#om x mc#satan x reader#obey me drabble#om drabble#omnb satan
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the captured! quest was so funny that i actually drew multiple things at once
#dragon age#dragon age fanart#surana#warden surana#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#zevwarden#zevran arainai#grey warden#dao#da: origins#so many beautiful choices made in this quest#like why did they strip us down#that guard folded to the most casual insinuation ever#i didnt even know i was flirting until i did#sorry he had to get ice blasted. and punched to death#then the looney toons series of events that follow#dont mind me officer#just a short regular human warrior who happens to have the same distinctive face tattoo as that fugitive grey warden you just captured!#itseart
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I believe Fugo and Trish would be besties in the most awkward way possible
#jojo’s bizarre adventure#jjba#jojo part 5#golden wind#vento aureo#pannacotta fugo#trish una#futrish#guido mista#giorno giovanna#ness’ art#first jojo art in a while :^)#I’ve had this in my head for a while. this is very self-indulgent#thinking about how they’d actually interact after fugo returns is something I like thinking about#bc they had some silly moments / like the ones I referenced in the comics / but also#there would definitely be tension since fugo was like ‘why would you guys want to protect someone you just met…’#but I’d like to believe that fugo and trish bond over being people who didn’t have the most confidence at first#and we able to improve their confidence by being forced through adversity (fugo w the events in phf and trish w the latter half of gw)
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Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?
Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?
It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3
Glad you asked
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#doom patrol#dead patrol#cw homophobia#i know there are a couple of people who enjoy my rambly tags so these are for u#first of all anon i'm sorry i used your request to continue my story lol#most of my comics are meant to be standalones BUT#the doom patrol and dead girl detectives are all happening in the same universe#and there is indeed series of events here!#this particular one is happening after dp!edwin's feelings were exposed but before they met the girls#with that out of the way#i know this is not as funny as most of my stuff#but dp!edwin's internalized homophobia is an important thign that can't just go away because his charles loves him back#and he does love him back! in this verse#dp!charles is the only one not struggling with his feelings for his partner#dbd!charles and charlotte still have ways to go#also dbd!edwin is in no way an expert in self-acceptance but he has learned some things#i considered having him mention simon but i decided it wasn't his place to out him#(even though he's dead u know)#so yeah what he says here isn't... great#he's still putting himself down and he's still not sure if his feelings for charles are actually a good thing#but he knows HE is glad he feels this way#because fuck it it's not like he'll go to hell for it#and even if he did... he would crawl his way out
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overblot grim with Yuu who accidentally get carried on his back
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst yuu#twst grim#twst mc#fanart#overblot#overblot grim#i still give him his magic gem bcs it looks more endearing like it's really the grim we used to know#i was imagining yuu who is riding overblot grim on his back but maybe accidentally because grim suddenly changed form while yuu was#holding him on the back because it'd be too OP otherwise#the most horrendous body part of overblot grim is actually the human-like hands seriously fshd#ride him ride him like a motorcycle#is the game gonna end soon tho?#like i think the japanese version has reached malleus story already#then after that it'll be grim#and then what? maybe only continuing on more events?#i am so lat e to join in seriously fshd#after what? their third anniversary? wait FOURTH they have four birthday attires already#i kinda think that the hands are part of vil just because the hands look beautiful fsdshd
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The Narrator's perspective only gets more horrifying the longer you think about it. Like, imagine being an Echo of yourself—one of many, all made to serve a very particular purpose and knowingly living on borrowed time, if 'living' is even the right word for your current state of pseudo-existence.
You've inherited the mission of a dead man—it's literally the only thing left that you can do before fading, so you sure as hell better believe in it; the alternative would be unbearable. Only you keep failing. With every loop that you don't remember, your lack of agency in this situation becomes starker—you can influence small things, sure, but it becomes increasingly clear that you have no real power, no matter how personally invested you are in the events unfolding in front of you. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to meaningfully engage with the world.
Worse—every loop you're made aware of is another time you've failed, with unimaginable consequences, though you had no control over these previous iterations of yourself and can't even learn from their mistakes. Everyone around you is operating on a shared perception of reality that you are not part of, will never be part of. After a few repetitions, you are, ironically, the least informed person in the room. All you have left to go on is an evidently outdated script. At the same time, everyone else is experiencing a contiguous version of you, comprised of parts that are, in some sense, also you, while at the same time existing at a complete remove from your current perception of self. Whatever you don't know you did—that's you now. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to define your own identity, never mind know what it is.
Even worse—this has trapped you within a stagnant hell of your own creation. Nothing you say or do really matters in terms of your own self (the rest of the world is a separate issue entirely). Anything you've come to believe—say, for totally hypothetical example, that you were wrong actually and your envisioned paradise is really a hell beyond any you had the capacity to envision—has about as much permanence as a drawing in the sand. 'You' will continue, exactly as you were, no matter how much you might like to change your behavior. Every possible future has already been set in stone. You are, after all, only an Echo. You've forfeited the right to say anything you haven't already said.
For some reason, no part of any of this has made you feel more comfortable and at peace with the general concept of finality.
The really, truly absolute worst part, though?
There is no one for you to blame but yourself. And that's exactly what turns your story into such a tragedy.
#slay the princess#meta#my meta#slay the princess narrator#stp narrator#stp echo#for the love of god WHAT is his character tag this is a travesty#narrator sweep#natterings#stp posting#this was written as part of another much longer piece of enthusiastic narrator meta#like with screenshots and everything#but this was too good and self-contained NOT to post#in case of the very likely event where i dont finish the full thing#because unlike him i do recognize when im flirting with my own hubris#not that it ever stops me#anyway ask me about the narrator and why hes the most interesting character in stp#who is UNDERAPPRECIATED-- i mean uh#surprisingly overlooked#please there is so much that i could say
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LEON
LEON YOUR EYEBALLS
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#ride kamens episode 14 spoilers#can't believe i made a joke about it being his eye color AND THEN#i did see his updated sprite before i got to 13 but i didn't even notice it at first...#at least he also got a funky little face marking to go with it#shine on you super shitsuji!!!!#anyway I AM FINALLY CAUGHT UP#on main story anyway i haven't played the tower emblem event yet :')#but man i am loving this game#i was not expecting it to be a full-on mystery! with intrigue!#who is lying! who is telling the truth! who THINKS they're telling the truth but isn't!#punctuated by the most delightful nonsense like the unbreakable magic superhero covenants#where you gotta touch rings in the magical wedding chapel dimension that we teleport to sometimes to talk to our dead dad#(OR IS HE???????)#NO IT'S GREAT (and it does make sense in context i just love it)#still 50/50 on yellow beyblade man secretly being our dad but i can't get into theories now i don't have enough tags#man this really has the essence of what i love about rider ❤️#so far i do think agata is my favorite#but then there's leon...#let me put it this way: i would tell agata a hard truth about himself if i thought he needed to hear it#but there is no amount of money in the world you could pay me to say anything even slightly mean to our sweet leon#LET 👏 HIM 👏 HENSHIN 👏#WAIT SHOOT is it too late to redo my survey answers i need to demand that i be able to put hats on leon
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ruby and 15 finding the same guy hot and having a joke catfight about it vs donna and 14 finding the same guy hot and just agreeing and moving on. this is coz the former are young & sexy and the latter are geriatric
#rtd giving me hags back is literally the most nuclear media event to happen to me in years#we are so so so fucking back we are SO fucking back#LIKE SORRY THIS IS DRIVING ME INSANE. this and 700000 other things but#it's so coooool eughdggdhd gay people....#doctor who#dw spoilers#14th doctor#15th doctor#ruby sunday#donna noble#dot and bubble#wild blue yonder
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was watching gabe and he was Very nervous about not being able to speak english with bad and the chat made a really good point which was; yeah they (fit and bad) . are used to this.
like its just very interesting to me in hindsight that qsmp prepped bad and fit to be very comfortable around people who didnt speak english or that they didnt understand, so it doesnt rly faze them.
in comparison early on i think it gave them both a bit of a shock ? to be like woahwoah what the fuck are you saying. very like deer in headlights kind of anxiety
but now theyre reasonably comfortable with it. which makes them perfect for events with translators because they're good with rolling w the flow.
fit says he wants to hear portuguese, he encourages it, bad is quick to read translations and keep up conversation and he can describe what he means in other words if he notices the translator messes up. they know to course correct if it fucks up and says something weird.
#arkanis#qsmp#someone was like yeah bagi only spoke portuguese with him for like. a MONTH#and theyre besties#arkanis team picked the most Chill guys who've been TRAINED in this shit from qsmp to not freak out when they hear language they dont know#it just struck me that yeah there's really not a better stress tester for this than these two#i will say they do better in events with people they KNOW who speak that language#i.e bad in one of the hunt games he did with like. soaaring and aquino
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es rarepair week 2024 day 1 | AU/future
lil ghostic au of mine!!! yuzuru and the rest of fine are long since trapped souls in an abandoned mansion of which rst come across while looking for shelter during a storm :] it doesnt um. particularly end well
#doodles#duck scribbles#es rarepair week 2024#midoyuzu#yuzumido#i Was gonna do the stardew au but then it made me kind of sad. actually this is even worse in that aspect but im in a mood#enstars#midori finds his diary of which details the life of and events leading to yuzuru and the rest of the residents' deaths and w it slowly#becomes able to see/interact with (to an extent) yuzurus spectre himself#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#ghostswere initially rather aggressively hospitable in order to keep lost strangers there to eventually die and become a lost soul like the#but most w time grew to just want to be freed and be able to pass on in peace. more hostile ghosts become vague wisps of what they were bef#ore once theyve lost their tether to humanity but those with a strong will still have more control and effect on their surroundings somewha#yuzuru specifically was determined to maintain the mansion and has for decades and maybe centuries kept it orderly hence the clarity of his#spirit!!! having been one of those hostile spirits himself before has moved on to gently guiding guests away from the more dangerous areas#and assisting them so as to ensure their safe leave#they look for a way to break the curse on the mansion together so as to free all their souls!! unfortunately for midori she fell in love w#someone who has long since died 👍#the lil ballroom scene was a funny thing i dreamed about a while ago actually. i like to think watarus ghost put on some music unprompted#oh and since the rest of rst is also there technically you can expect chiaki is Not having a very good time
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i saw this tweet and found it interesting for two reasons. one is that some people base how good cartoon network would be to toh by how it treated su, and despite the fact that su’s treatment by the network was considered poor at the time, now its thought to be exceptionally good in comparison to modern shows.
two is how exactly su got impacted by a limited budget. a common criticism is how characters like connie, peridot, and lapis are left out of missions. but balancing a lot of characters is not only hard but also costly (extra animation, extra voices—it’s been revealed that the show is limited to a set number of characters per episode otherwise they’re over budget). animation mistakes are not uncommon since retakes cost extra. the entire reason the original show got cut short was due to loss of funding!
#i don’t know if pay rates differ per networks#but a.ivi and s.urrashu have said that they needed to work outside of su in order to make sufficient funds#it only makes me wonder what other ways su suffered from a lower budget#that we as the audience never got to see#in the vein of the too-little characters complaint#another part of that is that low-stakes episodes should’ve been abt the main cast instead of the townies#like last one out of beach city and too short to ride vs restaurant wars and kiki’s pizza delivery service#i definitely see that especially since that isn’t budget related#nor would it seem to be network related (even if cn had an ‘episodic episodes’ quota it could still be abt the gems#(another side note: /would/ cn even have a requirement that the show make episodes that can be watched standalone?#this is a question for the people who were around when su was airing#what episodes often got rerun?#was it the townie eps or the lore eps?#for example i heard that su once did a ‘peridot event’ where they just reran peridot episodes#which had eps that skip around in the show#did they even care about airing the story so that it made sense anyways?#id get it if the low stakes townie episodes were the ones getting rerun))#but i have such a boring view on that which is i think it’s simply because the creators like townie eps#like in interviews r.ebecca s.ugar has said she’s the type to be really invested in background characters#answers in interviews have been crafted in ways to hide what’s really going on though tbf#prime example of this is rebecca and ian saying the wedding being interrupted was meant to follow the common trope#when later in the art book they said that it was bc cn rejected the ep bc it ‘wasn’t interesting enough’#both could simultaneously be true! it’s a psychology thing though where people make up nice-sounding explanations behind what they create#in retrospect because they want it to be thought out in such a nice way they believe in it#the bigger problem is that not matter how many episodes there are of them#it can be hard for ppl to be invested in the townies the same way they are invested in the main cast#i’m sure that a million writers have made surefire advice on how to get an audience to care about characters#but off the top of my head i think it’s because 1. most don’t have strong motivations to get truly invested in#(exception is ronaldo but people find him too annoying to care about him)#okay i had more points and explanations but i hit the tag limit and idk if anyone is actually reading this so bye
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Also I promise all my who’s most likely drabbles won’t be mammon x mc lmao that first one just felt right
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the new nightmare is cool but i think not putting them in hanfu was an missed opportunity
(+ long hair version that i wasn't as sure about)
#i was going to give barbatos the Long Flowing Locks but he strikes me as the type who WOULD adhere to the tie-it-all-up rule#but then he looked bald so i gave him a bit of leeway. i mean even a lot of cdramas don't follow the rule#then satan's hair is more wuxia novel protagonist (which i feel suits him) and solomon's is unfortunately all inside his hat#well the long hair is for authenticity (lol) not Hot Boy Look anyway#art#obey me#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me satan#jtta ik#anyway wrt the new nightmare: barbatos's outer robe (dachang) DOES look like hanfu#but then he takes it off in the deflowered look and it's. idk. a sexy gongfu vest??? satan too#not that i have anything AGAINST that but if you're gonna do chinese fashion i feel like hanfu is a shoe-in#based off the previews for celestial blessing i'm assuming diavolo+lucifer+asmo will be in the second nightmare for this event#and both parts of a nightmare usually follow a theme so most likely it'll be kung fu clothes 2 electric boogaloo BUT i will hold hop#if anyone should be in hanfu it's those three. lucifer for that cold elegance dia for that regal charm and asmo for that Beautiful Princess#regardless i will probably be drawing them in hanfu anyway. in fact i already have the idea for it#it'll be ddvd because i NEED to put zhao in beautiful clothes for once. and also i really want to draw something in earnest for this au
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He’s bragging about how things went at the PTA meeting. Very classy, very mindful, very demure.
#okay this might be a repost because I cannot for the life of me figure out if i posted this before#like i was trying to search all my tag and couldnt find this and i was like…. did I not post this???#Anyways this is my underfell Papyrus#he’s on the surface and has major goofy silly dad vibes#His underground was still a tough and difficult place but likely not as cruel as most Underfell AUs#Like yes he had to be mean and he had to hurt others to maintain respect#but now that he’s on the surface he doesn’t have to put on a tough guy act#He can finally explore what he truly wants to do and become#so he’s into designing clothes#loves uniforms but overall enjoys creating clothes for himself and those who are close to him for various events#Papyrus#Papyrus au#papyrus with more fangs#Underfell#underfell au#underfell papyrus#underfell!Papyrus#my art#a-snowpoff#my oc art
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psa that the day there are no jgy stans left on tumblr dot com is the day i am dead
but rest assured i'll go to my grave exactly as i lived: obnoxiously proclaiming to everyone within earshot how great lianfang-zun is. narratively, metaphorically, spiritually. sexually, too, like why limit myself. i like to keep my options open
#the spirit of su minshan possessed me for a minute there but like. i'm fine with it#jin guangyao#he did crimes??? good for him 😌#editing this post to add that while the tone here is clearly joking#i really am fundamentally still engaged with this fandom#and with this book#almost exlcusively because of my enjoyment of jgy#even xiyao is secondary for me like i love it and i'm ride or die for it obvs#but jgy as a character is the main draw for me. and he would have me by the throat even if there was no zewu-jun#(tho i think jgy's life would be more depressing for his absence obviously)#but he is just. /clenches my fists!!!#THE most compelling character in the story and i cannot stop thinking about him!! cannot will not!!#who else in this book has his range? who else can be the doe-eyed idealist AND the spy with blood on his hands who ends a war?#who else is two different greek tragedies and at least two separate shakespearean tragedies rolled into one antagonist#an antagonist who but for the POV of the novel could very easily have been the protagonist#whose moral event horizon is so deeply entwined with his own trauma and abuse that there is no way to meaningfully separate#the violence he does to others from the systemic violence that was done to him for his whole life?#who else in this book manages to get five separate sect leaders utterly obsessed with him no matter how you choose#to interpret that obsession?#no one!!! that's who!!#ain't no one else in the jianghu doing it like lianfang-zun and that's just a goddamn fact
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🚫 My Sonic Big Bang 2024 Experience
...Or how a few months of my life were severely negatively impacted by someone else's bad management. See for yourself.
Proof of the rule they're speaking about being actively hidden from the participants to this day: FAQ – archived link, screenshot with "Who can participate?" on top, screenshot with "explicit" word search, screenshot with "nsfw" word search; Master Guide – screenshot with "explicit" word search, screenshot with "nsfw" word search; server rules – long screenshots of General Server Rules and StH Big Bang Specific Rules: Mar 12 and Jul 01, screenshots of Strike Policy: Mar 12 and Jul 01, long screenshot of General Guidelines, long screenshot of Collaboration Thread Guidelines.
I feel like this is extremely unfair 😭 One moment I was participating in the event I dreamed about for years, and the next moment I'm thrown out into the cold when I did nothing wrong. I need to get it off my chest...
Below, more about my experience with the event, though it ended up a little vent-y, a detailed (and verified!) record of what exactly happened in private thread #48, the aftermath and some fun facts I discovered or want to share:
First things first! Yep, I signed up for Sonic BB as a Writer back in January. I didn't talk about it outside of my server 'cause I wanted it to be a surprise – when I roll out a lo-o-ong illustrated fic without a warning. I'll admit, I always wanted to participate in a Big Bang for this fandom, it was a dream of sorts. And still, before sending my form in, I carefully read all of the Master Guide and the FAQ both. Seeing as how for my neurodivergent brain the rules and regulations are important, that's what I usually do for events, and this one wasn't an exception. Confident that I understand what the event would require of me, I signed up.
First month of the event went well. My questions were answered (even though I wondered why some of the things I asked couldn't have been in the Master Guide from the beginning), I wrote my fic summary and submitted it without many problems, etc. There was a small hiccup at the very beginning of March when I noticed how strict the management seemed to be (no changes or adjustments allowed), and my anxiety got the best of me, so I asked the mods if there's a plan in case a collab team doesn't work out: screenshot of my message in #writers-info-and-questions, pulled from my Discord data; screenshot of my detailed explanation in DMs; screenshot of Mod Joy's reply. Here are the most important quotes from his reply:
I understand wanting to plan for the worst case scenarios, but I would caution you not to freak yourself out over what all could go wrong! There are some absolutely lovely artists in this event who are excited to work with the writers. Odds are, things will go off without a hitch.
We are highly encouraging that no one drops out after the assignments, especially writers, unless due to extenuating circumstances.
We want to make everything as fun and stress-free for everyone. Know that we will be around to moderate threads and dissolve any tensions that arise,..
In short, I was placated with reassurances of careful moderation, not dropping writers and ✨positivity✨. I decided to stay and challenge myself since originally BB is meant to be a challenge and all...
For those of you who haven't participated: the way it is supposed to go is that writers submit short summaries of their stories, these summaries are stripped of the writers' names and given to artists to pick through. The artists then have to list their Top 10 stories to illustrate during the claims period. After the claims, private collab threads are made for each writer and their artists with a couple of mods. So no one else could see what happens in these threads.
Now flashforward to March 11th and the threads being created. Obviously I don't have screenshots of that due to being kicked off the server without any warning and before any chance of communication, unable to delete my personal information or save anything that might be used against me which was a case of poor management at best and a deliberate move at worst, so I'm retelling as faithfully as possible. It also has been verified by [artist 1] and according to them, this is exactly what happened.
My fic was in the 4-8k range, and I got two artists. I was asleep when the thread opened, and they talked about how excited they are for my fic before I came in. Both of them are 18, young but adults. I’ll call them [artist 1] (they're cool), and the other one is [artist 2]. Both artists seemed to talk to me normally.
Oh, I have to point out that there were hmm, Mods Chaz, Joy, Summers and Frostios in my thread. I think only four of them, but I know for sure Mod Summers was reading our conversation at least in the beginning because I noticed my fic's Warnings saying "None" (the original summary I submitted had Warnings: Discussion of Homophobia, Slight Internalised Homophobia), and I pointed out that there are warnings, though I don't know if they were lost just now or weren't in the sheet available to the Artists either, and whether they were actually lost or mods didn't consider it a big enough warning to keep... I still don't know. Mod Summers just silently pinned my message.
I mentioned how I'm in one of the Asian timezones geographically, so I might be awake or asleep at unconventional times, and they told me their timezones (I didn't ask!), so I figured I can make a timebuddy chart for easy tracking what time it is for everyone. Made one, sent the link to the thread, Mod Summers asked me if I want it pinned, too, and then a couple of hours later (I think?) [artist 1] came and said it's very helpful. This is my evidence for at least Mod Summers probably reading the conversation that followed but also maybe not. I think all of the mods were online or at least visually online when it was happening.
This is where I reveal that the entire conversation happened in like... one afternoon 🥲 Roughly 7 pm to 2 am for me.
Back to the conversation itself. There were a few questions I had so I started with them, basically 1) if they've read my fics before (explained that I'm asking so I know whether I need to tell them about my writing style and Sonadow dynamics I write); 2) do they want me to send in scenes as I write them or they want a full draft; 3) if they have any immediate questions for me. Question 1) is what we need. Both of them said they've never read my stuff before, and that they don't have any questions now but they want art to be as close to text as possible, so they will ask in the future. This is how it went down after (as per my memory, artist rendition I guess):
[artist 1]: I haven't read your fics but I'd like to! Your Ao3 is the same as your handle? [no link]
Me: It isn't a requirement, you don't have to! But that's right. I have to warn you though that I usually rate my Ao3 profile as 18+ when I link it, though 33/36 of my Sonic fics are rated G and T, and I feel like a warning is in order anyway so people don't accidentally stumble upon something they don't want to see and know what to avoid/filter out. [I didn't post any links or encouraged the artists to read my profile, just made a warning to be cautious]
We go into discussion of how long I have been writing, [artist 1] shows no problems with knowing my Ao3 has 3 Mature fics, I describe what series my fic will be for [the series is completely SFW, and even then I didn't post the link to it] and go into details of how I write Sonadow dynamics in my fics without mentioning the NSFW ones obviously, we speak about Question 2).
[artist 2]: [replying to my warning about my Ao3] ooohh so you write gore sometimes?
Me: Nah, I don't actually, I'm pretty uncomfortable with it tbh, so no, I don't. Some blood and a quick description of Maria's dead body is the most I have ever done 😅 All the angst I make characters go through is emotional rather than physical!
[artist 2]: oh I shouldn't have assumed, sorry. It's just the first thing my mind went to
Me: It's okay! I've been a medical student at some point and I think I've just had enough of that - one of the main reasons I'm not a doctor but a linguist.
[artist 1] gets excited about this for some reason, and we chat about it for a moment.
Normal conversation continues like...
Me: Okay, where were we
[artist 2]: i wasn't paying attention errr
Me: Me neither! But it's Question 3)
I go into saying how them wanting to draw as close to the text is 💯 what I wanted to hear because for me my texts are an extension of my soul, I'm fragile about them, and I'd prefer the art to be exactly according to it blah-blah-blah, I describe my thoughts about a plan of work for us and how I'm going to share pieces of my fic according to their respective wishes.
[artist 1]: Sounds great!
[artist 2]: yeah, sounds good
[artist 1] says something else which I just react with an emoji to, and I start getting ready for sleep because it's almost 2 am, and I have to get up at 6 am.
Nothing else was said in the thread. That's it.
I got to bed and as most people nowadays I check my phone one last time. I see [artist 2] requesting a mod they can DM to, but I don't think much of it…
So 6 am. I wake up and again, as most people nowadays, I check my phone. I went to sleep in a good mood, seemingly in good relations with my artists, excited for the collab and having a solid plan everyone agreed to, so I eagerly open Discord to see if they wrote anything new in the thread. I see no Sonic Big Bang 2024 server.
I will not go into too much detail about my state, but I have an extremely acute reaction to stress very similar to a panic attack that lasts for hours. So with shaking fingers I open my DMs to see the message from that first screenshot I started my post with. The following exchange with me learning about the hidden rule happens the next day. Unfortunately, before that I still have to go to work for a full day in that very same mental state, oof. Plus I have no breaks on Tuesday... I go back and forth all day with my friends about how shitty this situation is, and one of them asks me how [artist 1] reacted. I say that I don't know, but they still follow me on Tumblr so I go and message them, and from what they tell me, it sounds like a mod pretended to them that I was removed because of an existing rule that's stated somewhere. They didn't argue with that, and that's understandable of course.
At home, I notice one of the event mods blocked me.
It is difficult to explain what's happening in my mind without going into details of what my [disorders] are, but things that are unfair, things that are injustice put my brain in a loop until all wrongs are righted. I'm ranting about it to friends, and I think about it day and night. On March 14th I vent about it in the tags of a related reblog, and this is the only instance of me talking about StH BB on my blog. Next morning I'm blocked by the event blog and over the next 2 weeks – by two more mods, while another mod speaks to me passively-aggressively in a shared Discord server. Then I'm shown a screenshot where one of the mods claims I offered my Ao3 to my artists (I didn't) and implies everyone who writes NSFW is dangerous. And then I receive a hate ask about the event, calling me "creepy"... All this time, my brain is still stuck in a loop, and let me tell you – it's not fun. It doesn't help that my first reaction to everything that makes me feel bad is always to assume I'm at fault for everything, and seeing how hostile people are to me, I'm drowning in self-blame. Without going into any more detail, it takes me 2 months and a lot of help to somewhat recover, so I finally send my reply to Headmod Chaz and receive one back:
If you got to this part, you know that half of Headmod Chaz's reply is simply untrue since there were no "multiple instances", and in any case I was never asked to keep quiet about my ban (and why should I?). I sent another reply a month later expressing my confusion and wondering when the messages will be removed (only my intro was removed). As of today, that reply is still ignored, and the messages aren't removed 🤷
And this is the entirety of my Sonic Big Bang 2024 experience. Now for some Q&A:
Why did you wait so long to make this post? I didn't want to put any participants under fire, particularly my friends because I'll admit, the mods seem like petty people. And also I was worried about throwing shade on other participants (people associating their works with this) or spoiling the event for people who were genuinely having fun with it. Thus, I waited until it was over!
Is this a callout post? According to definition as "public criticism or asking someone to explain their actions", I think it is – in terms of calling out bad management. It is definitely not a call for harassment. There is a reason I censored some names and left vague who reported me, blocked me, was hostile to me or spread rumours about me. Please don't bother anyone, and if the mods decide to engage with this, they can post their own statement.
Aside from the above reasons, why make a post at all? Two reasons: a personal one and an altruistic one. Firstly, I hope to get closure this way since I still feel like I was unjustly thrown away when I was just being a dutiful person. Secondly, while Headmod Chaz said they will be transparent about this rule next time they run an event, as you can see they fully ignored my suggestion of doing it now, and in general keeping a rule hidden to such an extent where you lie in your FAQ is pretty shady... I don't trust them not to do it again next year.
Is it okay to reblog the post/reply to it, what about sending an ask or a PM? Yes to all. I don't expect anyone to reblog, though if you think it's necessary, go on. I'm posting it to the event tags, so-o I think people who need to see it – will see it. If you decide to be negative or call me names, however, be prepared to be blocked by IP or username.
Finally, fun facts as promised 🔥
There are other participants out there who have had negative experiences with BB or were made uncomfortable by the way it was managed, but I'm not going to speak for them;
There was this whole thing with hypocrisy and possible favouritism;
Despite the mods insisting on ME being quiet about my ban, it's now known that they shared information about it outside the mod group;
Out of 6 mods: 5 have me blocked, 2 were passive-aggressive with 1 of them going as far as verbally lash out at me in DMs, and only 1 mod gave me a human apology (not pictured in screenshots);
I saw 3 NSFW writers and at least 2 NSFW artists participating in BB just by scrolling through my dash, without seeking them out, and this is not counting people I noticed in the server prior to me being banned;
Some people are posting Mature and Explicit extras and sequels/prequels to their BB stories already;
The artist who reported me seems to have dropped out anyway;
There's a joke reason why I'm making a post, too: I have to earn being blocked from the event blog since they said they did it because of multiple instances of me talking about my removal;
I'm actually grace and most of the time write my characters as aspec, and I'm exploring what sexuality and intimacy mean for me through writing, so this situation felt a little... like gatekeeping;
My fic was #48 under the title Chao Care 101, and I want you to give me a high five if you had it among your top choices 🖐
Originally, I wasn't going to complete my BB fic because it made me feel bad, but now I've decided I want to reclaim it, so I'm writing it now. Almost 8k words at the moment. It will be published. And it will be illustrated;
Meanwhile, what came out of this disaster is Sonic Supernova 2025, and I recommend you all to keep an eye out for this inclusive Big Bang-like event 🌟
#Sonic series#Sonic#StH#Sonic the Hedgehog#sthbigbang#Sonic Big Bang#Sonic Big Bang 2024#fandom event#sonysakura being talkative#I won't be tagging the ship or my series#But yes Chao Care 101 is the prequel to my fluffy Married Hedgehogs series#🗡 My Hardships Under the Merciless Big Bang Rule 🗡#<- tag courtesy of one of my friends#Sounds like an anime title ngl#Huge thank you to all of my friends and friendlies who peer-reviewed most of my messages to the mods and this post as well#who supported me and listened to me vent for months on end#who talked me out of being reckless and doing things I might regret#Guys you're the best 🥹#100 notes#Well this is going well better than me expected
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