#whoop whoop defenestration

[wild-flowerhoney]

thought id lost all my percico wips and was about to write a very heartfelt apology to anyone waiting for the next updates. but i managed to stop disaster so who cares this is a success story.

[normystical]

random thoughts im having as of reading tpoh today (up to pause 586) (1/3)

AWWWHSHWGSG THAYS SOO CUUTTEW

wait why is he so upset about that ?i may be stupid

idk what to say about this but its so... adjective. this is so fucking comic guys WOW

i <3 my wife

WHAT. WHOS WE. OMFG ARE THEY ,B

for someone so depressed, he's quite the optimist,,

AUASGUWVSJSBS LMFAOO I LOVE THEM SO MUCHH

defenestration is my favorite word tehe :3

he said locomotive before and now he's saying fiddlesticks. the silly

WE GET IT YOU'RE SPOOKY KSHSJSBS

...oh whoops. i can only put so many screenshots at a time. ok check the reblogs for further thoughts lol

[hanzajesthanza]

regis scaring the everliving bejeezus out of ciri was actually another reason why i initially began to headcanon regis and angouleme as striking up a friendship while they were in beauclair.

because angouleme has a different temperament than ciri, i think she wouldn't even be impressed by some of the weird vampire shit regis does. or perhaps, initially, internally she would be disturbed, but if he asks her, she's all "pfft, you think i'm frightened, like i give a shit? also, you look stupid like that." and certainly she would like jokes more than anything else. he might have even gotten a laugh out of her once or twice.

so with this being regis' only understanding of what teenage girls are like, his social intuition was too casual about the. spilling blood and exploding things and defenestrating people and hissing at them and sinking his fangs into a guy's neck causing him to twitch and convulse etc. when it came to ciri. if it were angouleme he saved she would be cheering, laughing, whooping and hollering, trying to devilishly chase the remaining acolytes around. of course, angouleme does have a developed sense of fear (see: the episode with the druids) but this result is the effect of her familiarity with regis.

if he told her about his youth (which involves all of the above blood explosions and hellfire) she would be an endless string of LOLs even when the moral was supposed to be 'so don't do what i did.' regis would be like 'so then i tosed them out the window' and angouleme would be like 'sick' and he would be like 'i know 😔' and she would be like 'nah like sick 😎'

honestly since it's regis he might have even developed some theory trying to understand angouleme like 'because teenagers because they are adolescents have not fully formed their human perceptions of fear, which are cultural and taught' which might hold true in some regards but. your sample size is 1. back to the drawing board

[nomsfaultau]

Finally got around to reading Chapter 10 of MFR AND OH MY SWEET BABY HYENA IT'S SO GOOD

I have so many thoughts but not nearly enough time so highlight run!!

Love Niki and Skeppy being good friends, even if Niki had the wrong idea at first

Gossip: the one thing the Angel of Death truly can't stop

Techno defenestrating himself, yessssss

The fact that Techno now refers to Phil almost solely as 'the Angel' and his 'parents' as 'the Piglins', the emotional distancing he's doing is excellent

Also the hallucinations. Great. I love them. Techno doesn't. Everyone is suffering 😈

Techno doesn't know what his name is anymore, whoops

It's okay, he can be Techno Innit, and Tommy can be Tommy Innit. It works

Techno and Tommy having opposite forms of trauma rn fr

They get a house and this actually helps Techno I think. He's starting to think about the future and little happy moments

The lawyers 'mysteriously' disappeared, oh no. I wonder where they could have possibly gone 😔😑😒😒

The fact that they still aren't actually really out from Phil's eye is... Yikes. I mean, yay, probably. Kinda. But alsooo....

Anyway, it's great, I love it, I read the entire thing in like half an hour to an hour. 13/10, will reread

asdfkhjkwevgjdfkhjasa

GLAD YOU LIKED IT

yah skeppy and niki having completely opposite wrong assumptions about this situation is so funny to me. Not a master manipulator, not getting beaten every day, but a secret third thing (loves a man who hurt his brother).

Techno is just so everywhere. Trauma as both for comedy and angst is a lot of fun to work with. But also its so sweet watching him slowly recover

[atmilliways]

Wrong On The Money (38-39)

part 38 & 39 of ?? | 921 words | Teen+

Blackmail fic on Ao3 | on tumblr

Summary:

During the break, while Steve ducks into the kitchen, Margaret gestures for Eddie to lean her way and he graciously lends an ear. “How the hell,” she murmurs with a faint smirk, “did this dweeb ever convince anyone he was cool?”

Margaret chapter! Did I make her a student at my alma mater? Yes. Was the unofficial school motto while I was there 'queer in a year or a money back'? Also yes. Was that also true in the late '80s? No damn clue, but let me have this.

38.

During the break, while Steve ducks into the kitchen, Margaret gestures for Eddie to lean her way and he graciously lends an ear.

“How the hell,” she murmurs with a faint smirk, “did this dweeb ever convince anyone he was cool?”

“He has his moments,” Eddie mutters, remembering Steve poised to dive shirtless into Lovers Lake. Ripping a bat in half and spitting a mouthful of dark blood onto the cracked lake bed in the Upside Down. Poised with an ax over one shoulder telling him (and Dustin, directing it at him, like Steve somehow knew even before he did) not to be a hero.

Sometimes he dreams about Steve giving him mouth to mouth, but he’s not sure if that’s an actual memory or because Dustin told him it happened.

“Earth to Eddie,” Margaret singsongs, definitely smirking now. “I know he saved you from some sort of freaky coyote attack or whatever—” a baffling comment, until he remembers the official cover story “—but stop drooling.”

He flushes instantly, flooding with panic at the idea of being so obvious. Can everyone see it written across his face? Can Steve?! “I wasn’t—”

“Dude, I go to Sarah Lawrence,” she interrupts, as if he knows anything about colleges or what that particular school has to do with anything. “I’ve seen some of the guys in my dorm do the same thing over guys like that, trust me.”

“Oh. Okay,” Eddie says blankly. 

His instinct, of course, is still to panic. And wonder if he can jump through the nearest window hard enough to defenestrate himself and hit the ground running, rather than bounce off the glass like a baby bird. But it’s Margaret, one of his oldest friends after Jeff. She’s always been sardonic—and college seems to have cranked that up past eleven, somehow—but there’s acceptance in her words, too. As casual as seeing a cat and commenting that, hey, there’s a cat. Eddie is drooling over a guy. Eddie is gay. Like that's that, no big deal.

But . . . does have to be? It wasn't with Jeff. Or with Wayne. Or, somehow, with Steve.

“. . . Maybe I should visit you in New York sometime,” he says finally, unsure of how long he'd been lost in thought.

Rolling her eyes, Margaret all but punches him in the arm. “You’d better. Come for Halloween. We'll take the train into the city, it’ll blow your mind.” She glances towards the kitchen. “Bring Steve, if he doesn’t mind getting hit on. Lots of people like pretty dweebs.”

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek, remembering Steve’s clubbing outfit even as his stomach twists around a stab of jealousy. Yeah, somehow he doesn’t think Steve would mind the attention, but. . . . Nope, no thank you, don’t like that and won’t be looking too closely at why, here there be dragons—big, scary, doomed to be unrequited ones.

39.

By the end of the session, actual cheers break out when the dice settles and a stroke of Sir Anton’s broadsword ends the final battle in one swift, fatal blow. Eddie narrates the creature’s head falling from atop its shoulders and rolling messily across the cavern floor. Will grabs Steve by the shoulder and gives him an enthusiastic ‘I knew you could do it’ shake. Lucas leans across the table for a high five, which Dustin insists on copying. Even Gareth gets in a whoop of victory while drumming on the edge of the table.

And Steve looks pleased with himself, grinning wider than Eddie has seen him all day. He’s modest about it—the creature was already dying, but he’d insisted on cutting off the heads just in case. 

His instincts were good, too. There’s a whole page of notes that Eddie doesn’t get to use now, but he doesn’t even care; it’s worth it to see Steve smiling like this, happy at being included.

There’s an edge of surprise to it though, which Eddie turns over and over in his head all through cleaning up. His friends go home or to their respective motels (or in Gareth’s case at the moment, both), and Steve disappears for a while to drive the gremlins home. 

And yeah. That surprise. He’d seen it flare up again and again throughout the campaign. It's more a simple revelation that Steve was having more fun than he’d expected. It had cropped up whenever anyone had acknowledged him as an valued part of the party . . . aside from the many times he’d looked like a droopy-eyed deer in the headlights and deferred to Will for help. 

Which, yes, okay, usually Eddie might have found that irritating. But as he’d hissed under his breath to Gareth once and Frank thrice, Steve had saved his life. If the guy wanted to outsource remembering his stats to a younger, smarter mind after all those concussions, he could go right ahead. (Besides, every time had Will sitting up straighter than Eddie had ever seen him, and he has a feeling that Steve had a lot to do with that.)

. . . Not the point. 

The point is, where had that surprise been when Eddie had blackmailed him? When Eddie had demanded interest? 

It’s one thing for Steve to be surprised about nerds accepting him. But the utter lack of popular-kid expectation that no one could touch him, of consequences being things that happened to other people? That’s weird. If Eddie didn’t know any better he’d think Steve thought he deserved it or something.

But that’s nuts, right? No way. That couldn’t. . . . 

That wouldn’t make any sense, right?

[heroicleader2763]

Why are you trying to defenestrate Coiny while there are children that could die nearby?

Oh.

Right.

Whoops.

phew! narrowly escaped death for the fourth time this week!

Fourth and a Half.

yea, yea.

[fortunately-i-can-read]

Flananagan ended sexism

Yes Halt!!! Yeet the sexist man into the moat

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #273: RITES of CONQUEST!

November, 1986

Happy Marvel 25th Anniversary, the Avengers! I have no clue why Black Knight gets front and center on this cover. I wouldn’t say he’s the most Avengers Avenger currently on the team. And also, he isn’t even enjoying the honor.

But anyway...

Last times on Avengers: Well, recently, the Avengers had to go bail Namor out of Atlantis problems because Namor always has Atlantis problems.

But also, supervillains are being broken out of jail. Wasp, Wasp’s boy toy Paladin, and Black Knight even thwarted an attempt to break New Yellowjacket out of jail. Well, New Yellowjacket got away but Wasp et al captured the villains that broke her out, Screaming Mimi and Gray Gargoyle.

So that’s going to be a thing.

Also, Hercules has been getting frustrated about getting bossed around by Wasp. But, he voted for her to be chairperson so you made your bed, Herc.

Speaking of slightly misogynist Hercules, the issue starts with him lifting a dozen people on his back as a fun bar trick.

That Hercules knows how to impress the barflies!

There’s apparently some bet on whether Hercules will be able to keep the people lifted for five whole minutes but that’s not really in doubt.

In the end, its the fragility of solid oak furniture that lets all those people down. Down to the ground. Because the table breaks under the weight and spills everyone to the floor.

Everyone has a great time despite the table breaking but the bartender complains about Hercules breaking furniture. But Hercules just promises him that the Avengers will cover the damages.

(Somewhere Tony Stark is annoyed and doesn’t know why.)

The completely random guy that Hercules made the bet with agrees to pay up despite the table so buys a round of drinks for everyone.

Then completely random guy makes conversation.

Completely random guy: “I never bellied up to a bar with an Avenger before... are all’a yer buddies as tough as you?”

Hercules: “None are as mighty as I, but each Avenger is a gallant hero!”

Then he goes on to exposit each East Coast Avenger.

Hercules: “Surely, you must know of the legendary Captain America! He is but mortal, yet his battle prowess makes him the equal of a dozen foes! I am proud to serve with such a man!”

“Then, there is the lovely Captain Marvel! Swift as light and powerful as lightning is she!”

“And the Black Knight’s fighting skills are near as sharp -- as his irresistible Ebony Sword!”

“And we mustn’t forget Namor, the Sub-Mariner! Land, sea, or air, there are few as mighty as he!”

Completely random guy asks about rumors that Namor and Hercules didn’t get along but Hercules says that Namor proved himself a “noble ally” and that he’ll miss him. Spilling the beans to completely random guy that Namor has taken a personal leave.

The guy also notes that Hercules forgot someone in his descriptions.

Completely random guy: “Hey, you forgot about somebody... That Wasp-Lady! She’s the boss Avenger, ain’t she?”

Hercules: “The Wasp is currently finishing out a term as Avengers chairwoman... that is all!”

Completely random guy: “Yeah, but she still tells ya what to do, don’t she?”

Bartender: “Ix-nay! Ix-nay!”

Completely random guy: “What’s it like takin’ orders from a dam? Hey, does she make ya sign in and out? Haw-haw!”

Completely random guy ignores the danger sign of Hercules crushing a glass in his hand and keeps talking. So completely random guy gets defenestrated.

Throws him through a window and right into traffic.

Whoops.

Hercules has to burst from the bar and slam into the truck to stop completely random guy from getting “kilt.”

After braking and breaking the truck on his shoulder, Hercules apologizes to completely random guy for endangering him. But the guy is completely unharmed by his trip through a window.

Huh. Comic book durability is all over the place though.

The guy excuses it as him living right and tells Hercules to check on the driver.

The driver... is pissed. As is the bartender who is now down one window.

But its fine. Hercules promises the Avengers will pay for damages.

(Tony Stark intensifies)

While Hercules is talking to the truck driver and bartender though, completely random guy sneaks away and gets into the back of a non-descript truck...

WHERE THERE’S NEW YELLOWJACKET??

And completely random guy isn’t completely random but the Wrecker?!

Huh, I guess this time a misogynist in a bar was a supervillian.

New Yellowjacket and Wrecker call in a report to a secret command post where Moonstone answers.

In addition to razzing Hercules into almost killing a guy if the guy hadn’t been the Wrecker, Wrecker also bugged the bar. I guess its Hercules’ favorite drinking hole.

Baron Zemo - but a new Baron Zemo not the one that accidentally killed himself fighting Captain America - shows up and criticizes Moonstone for monitoring the monitors when she has actual duties to fulfill.

So I guess Baron Zemo is in charge of this villain gathering.

I say, like I don’t know what this arc is.

This is a pretty iconic story!

Moonstone excuses herself saying that she just wanted to stretch her legs and oh poor Fixer was so tired of being on monitor duty so whats the harm in letting him go on break for a couple minutes while Moonstone monitored the monitors?

I mean, you’re not afraid of Moonstone learning too many details about your secret plan, are you Zemo?

Zemo tells her to shut up and get back to her own project.

Moonstone: “Yes, I suppose I should. After all, without my project we’d all be too vulnerable to accomplish much of anything, wouldn’t we? And that makes my work crucial to any plans, whatever they might be.”

And so she flies off.

And also so does Baron Zemo muse that Moonstone is a problem because she’s going to poke and undermine and knows that she’s essential to the plan so she has him at a disadvantage.

But she’s not the only leadership threat in his supervillain group.

The Wrecker complained that he isn’t seeing any action and he’s not fight happy villain on the team thats getting antsy with meticulous planning and biding time.

Baron Zemo: If I”m to keep them faithful to me, I must show them some action. Yet, if I strike too soon, I’ll fare no better against the Avengers than did my father! No, I must first learn more about the Avengers’ affairs! Captain America is my most formidable enemy... I must be certain of his whereabouts! And I must tolerate the treacherous Moonstone -- at least until she can give me the means to deal with the most powerful Avenger of all... Captain Marvel!

Zemo knows whats what.

Speaking of Captain Marvel, she’s zipping about the Moon.

Not for any reason, just because she can.

Monica knows that being a superhero is supposed to be fun, in between the dramas.

Okay, to be fair. Its multitasking. She’s zipping around on the MOOOON because she always dreamed of flying to the Moon and she realized that she can just go there at the speed of light. AND she’s testing her control over her powers in a place where she doesn’t have to worry about causing damage.

Its not like she’s going to blow up the Moon! HAHAHA!

This isn’t foreshadowing of anything as far as I know. It’s not like she’s going to blow up the Moon.

Her Moon practice concludes by turning from light into subatomic particles and going through the Moon entirely.

After her Moon exercise she also realizes she can just travel to Paris for breakfast crepes.

Captain Marvel: I haven’t really taken advantage of my powers to play ‘world traveler’ that much. I’ll have to do this more often!

I wonder how Monica landed at the time as a wish fulfillment character.

Because she’s just going ‘hey I can just go everywhere I’ve ever wanted to visit because nyooom, life is sweet!’

There’s a funny bit where she appears in a Parisian cafe in a bolt of light and asks (in French) to see a menu and the waiter says ‘are you Captain Marvel?’ before chastising himself that duh bolt of light who else does that.

I like these small character moments.

Anyway, hours later back at the secret Zemo base, Zemo fumes. He tracked Monica nyooming around from Earth to Moon to Earth again via telemtry scans. ALSO THROUGH THE MOON. He needs a way to neutralize her for his masterfully evil plan to succeed.

So he marches into Moonstone’s lab and demands some results dammit.

Moonstone apparently promised Zemo something that could counter Captain Marvel and he’s given her a sweet lab so, again, some results dammit.

Moonstone says that the counter to Captain Marvel is Blackout, who Zemo sprung from Project Pegasus off-panel on Moonstone’s insistence.

Baron Zemo: “I know he can tap into some sort of extradimensional force, but I was told he’s a raving paranoid.”

Moonstone: “He is -- but I’ve been able to work wonders with him.”

She adds that he goes catatonic sometimes but honestly she sees that as a plus.

Even in a catatonic state, Moonstone can get Blackout to follow orders. More easily too, less backchat.

(Geez, Moonstone.)

Anyway, she demonstrates by telling Blackout to protect herself and Zemo with his powers.

And the catatonic Blackout summons the inky Darkforce to surround the two villains.

Baron Zemo: “What is this?!?”

Moonstone: “It’s called Darkforce, Baron... A little chunk of another dimension, brought to earth by Blackout’s addled brain! Once it surrounds us, nothing can get through!”

Baron Zemo: “We shall see! This pistol is an improved version of my later father’s fabled disintegrator -- it can atomize solid steel in... mein gott! There is no effect at all! It is as if the darkness absorbed the weapon’s beam!”

Which is exactly what the Darkforce does.

Moonstone tells Blackout he can cut it out and then exposits some more.

Moonstone: “Before I met him, Blackout couldn’t do much more than tap into solid masses of extra-dimensional mater. But, through careful manipulation, I’ve fine-tuned Blackout’s control -- so that he can generate warps into that other dimension. Captain Marvel can transform herself into any kind of energy she chooses, but she won’t be able to do a bit of good against this! We don’t have a thing to worry about!”

Except Moonstone.

Zemo needs Blackout to counter Captain Marvel for his Secret Plan but Blackout is under Moonstone’s personal control and Moonstone is definitely the undermining type so the fact that his plan now relies on her not backstabbing him isn’t the most ideal situation.

Anyway, then there’s a loud THROOM sound from the next chamber over.

Because Mister Hyde is kicking the shit out of Piledriver in the work-out room.

Never a dull day in a secret villain base.

Moonstone tries to intervene between Hyde and Piledriver but her telling him to calm down just makes him angrier.

But Zemo puts a hand on Hyde’s shoulder and tells him to save some of the directionless violent rage for their actual enemies.

And Hyde agrees and walks off to calm down.

Moonstone: I don’t believe it! I couldn’t get through to Hyde at all... He was ready to chew me and spit me out... but Zemo calmed him down with just a few words!

Truly, Zemo has a way with words.

Like the words he said to various people to make this engineered moment happen.

After Moonstone walks off dazed at the possibility that Zemo has some power or ability he’s keeping secret, Piledriver asks if he provoked the fight like Zemo wanted him to do.

And the answer is yes.

Although Piledriver doesn’t really understand why Zemo had him do it and he doesn’t want to tangle with Hyde again.

Zemo tells Piledriver to go get some rest and to avoid Hyde for a while.

Piledriver: “No kiddin’!”

The other part of the grand jape was an injector hidden on Zemo’s palm that had enough tranquilizer to sedate an elephant. Or a Mister Hyde.

Zemo: Moonstone will figure out that I pre-arranged this little charade before long -- but for now, she’s been thrown off her guard. Hopefully, I’ve bought enough time to safeguard my command.

The things you gotta do to stay on top in a villain group.

Later that evening, Black Knight and Wasp are attending a post Manhattan nightspot to help raise money for March-of-Dimes and get cornered by the press.

I swear, Black Knight agreed to do this mainly to make that “well in hand!” pun.

Joseph Edkin, CBS News, asks Janet about rumors that Namor has quit the Avengers.

Joseph Edkin, CBS News: “We received an anonymous tip... why? Did anyone have reason to leak that information? Do you think the Sub-Mariner’s absence will help or hurt? How long will he be gone? Will he be replaced?”

Despite Wasp saying that Namor has only taken a leave of absence, Joseph Edkin, CBS News, keeps badgering her and Black Knight with questions.

Until Paladin shows up.

He knows Joseph Edkin, CBS News, from some “fracas in the Mideast” and they chat amiably. Joseph Edkin, CBS News, asks if Paladin is going to try out for the vacancy the team evidently has.

Causing Black Knight to pout.

Baron Zemo, who is watching this news coverage like its his stories, takes note that Wasp quite likes Paladin and Black Knight quite dislikes him.

Also, it was ZEMO. Zemo leaked the information about Namor to the press.

Truly his evil plan is multifaceted.

That’s also why he had Fixer build signal-intercept monitors so he could tap into the newscasters’ cameras without waiting for it to be broadcast.

Or so he could see the whole, unedited footage?

Multifaceted.

Speaking of multifaceted and fixing, the Fixer has modified Zemo’s headband/crown thingy to Zemo’s specifications.

ALSO ALSO, Zemo has had Fixer tracking Captain America.

For probable solo book reasons, Cap is in Southern Florida so as Zemo previously ordered, Fixer sent Whirlwind to beat him up/delay him.

Since everything seems to have fallen in place, Zemo calls for a meeting in the formless void briefing room.

I’ve made fun of the protean nature of the Avengers meeting room but at least they have a table and enough chairs for everyone, usually.

Interior decorating derision aside, this is a mighty anti-assemblage.

Goliath (somehow despite the last I heard him being held captive by the West Coast Avengers), Moonstone, Titania and the Absorbing Man, the Wrecker and his Wrecking Crew, Mister Hyde, New Yellowjacket, Tiger Shark, Blackout, Fixer, and Zemo.

And a few other people who are off-screen. We just heard that Whirlwind is involved but on a mission. And there’s another member whose arrival Spider-Man will fuck up without even being aware of anything going on.

Anyway, point being, big group. Big group and mostly focused on being strong tough peeps. There’s not a lot of power variety but there is some, like with Blackout.

Since the group is so fighty, they’re mostly bored and antsy about not punching people right this moment.

But Zemo has a call to action for them.

Zemo: “Hear me! There is not a one of you who has not known the bitter taste of defeat... you have all been humbled in battles against those forces which society deems ‘good’. Often you have been beaten and humiliated by Avengers. And who are these Avengers? Their ranks constantly change... yet they remain unbeatable! How do they do it? I can tell you... it is unity!”

“The Avengers is nothing more than a group of so-called heroes who have united against a common foe... against us! But we, too, can present a united front! Together, we can utterly defeat whoever rises to oppose us! We outnumber the Avengers. For all their power, they will fall before our superior numbers.”

“But we must decisively defeat the Avengers... we must show that we are their masters! They must publicly be ground beneath our boots... Then, we must turn our attention to their friends, the Fantastic Four. They also must fall!”

“Once society’s great heroes have met their defeat, no one will dare to oppose us! But my plan will work only if we are truly united! Are you with me?”

It’s very Zemo to repackage the idea of a supervillain team like its a brand new idea that only he is galaxy brained enough to think of.

The Sinister Six is gonna sue.

Anyway, Moonstone points out that hey unity is a good idea and Zemo did a great job assembling this team by getting many of its members out of jail. But why should he be boss when he’s just a normal dude with no powers? Maybe he should sit by quietly while the cool kids with cool powers decide who the leader should be.

So Zemo tells Blackout to restrain Moonstone, which he does.

He gloats that now he controls Blackout because Fixer replicated the technology Moonstone used to control the guy.

Zemo: “Leadership is mine by right! It was my late father who formed the first group to oppose the Avengers, to have revenge against the man who had ruined his life... Captain Ameria. He died fighting that accursed Avenger. I have vowed vengeance upon Captain America and all his allies. I have endured much to gather you here, I shall not give up command now!”

Moostone: “A-all right... I-I withdraw the question.”

Zemo magnanimously has Blackout release Moonstone instead of warping her to another dimension because she still might prove useful.

There’s a scene like this in Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes except its Abomination who questions Zemo’s fitness to lead what with no powers. Zemo just trips Abomination and threatens to sword him in the throat.

I like the comic take a little better because we see Zemo fretting ahead of time about Moonstone trying something and doing stuff to throw her off her rhythm to delay the confrontation.

Zemo: “Events which ensure victory over the Avengers have fallen into place this day, but we must act quickly. Will you put aside your differences and work with me?”

Goliath: “You can count on me, Zemo.”

Mister Hyde: “Me too!”

The Wrecker: “Yeah, this sounds like my kinda fight!”

Moonstone: “No disrespect meant, Baron, but I want to hear more about your great plan for overcoming the Avengers.”

Zemo: “Overcome is too weak a word, Moonstone. I speak of the Avengers’ total defeat and humiliation!”

The plan begins that very night.

Hercules should be on monitor duty but he got a call from a lady asking him on a date so of course he ditched. Jarvis, the cool Avengers butler, filled in for him.

So with the Avengers Mansion guarded only by a butler and a security system, the Masters of Evil go to work.

I think I mentioned way back when Peter Henry Gyrich forced the Avengers to update their security system that there was a balancing act between strong enough to keep out the riffraff without hurting them?

What holds up to common intruders without killing them does not hold up to concentrated supervillain assault. Especially a band of especially beefy boys.

They charge through the gate like it ain’t nothing, literally stomp the stunulator cannons hidden in the lawn, tear through security tentacles, and mock the front door.

Bulldozer: “Shoot! Ya call them security doors? ‘Tweren’t more’n a couple inches o’ steel under that oak!”

Hey, that door was trying its best.

Even the inside security - where you’d assume it could be stronger because less chance of a civilian blundering into the security - gets smashed like its nothing.

While outside in an aircraft flying over the area, Zemo sends Titania and Absorbing Man on a sidequest, Fixer warns him that someone is trying to send an emergency alert from the mansion.

Fixer blocks the signal and relays the location of the broadcast to the supervillains smashing their way through the mansion.

Genuine distress!

Is there no last second rescue for poor Edwin Jarvis who only wanted to be a bro and do Hercules a solid?

Will no good deed go unpunished in this cruel world?

All the hard work done by the fighty boys, Zemo and Fixer land in Avengers Mansion’s third floor hangar, with Zemo monologuing about recent events. Semi-recent.

Zemo: “You see, Fixer... not an Avengers Quinjet in sight! When the government forced the fools to remove their aircraft from the city. I saw a weakness in their organization, waiting to be exploited! Imagine, being ordered around by bureaucrats!”

In the Mansion’s meeting room, Zemo and Fixer meet up with the rest of the present Masters of Evil.

Wrecker: “Baron Zemo, Avengers Mansion now belongs to the Masters of Evil!”

Zemo: “Yes! Victory is ours... and it shall be the first of many!”

Uh oh!

It sure would suck to have to wait two weeks for the next issue while I alternate to West Coast Avengers!

;)

So I won’t be doing that.

There’s four more issues in this story and if I alternate like I have been doing, it’d be two months to see this through.

West Coast Avengers will be going on a brief hiatus so I can get through this. Then I’ll catch up on West Coast Avengers until the two books are on the same month.

I’m nice like that.

Also, it would kill me to wait. I’ve been waiting so long to get to this story.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because of what a considerate liveblogger I am. So considerate. Unless you were more invested in West Coast Avengers. If so, sorry. Maybe a like and reblog will teach me to take all parts of my audience in mind.

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1981 - the Body-Swap

The X-Men, those body-swapping mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. We’ve been untangling that history for a while, but sometimes, you really want a more in-depth look. Interested? Then read the (un)Abridged X-Men!

(Uncanny X-Men 151 - 152) - by Chris Claremont and Josef Rubinstein

Emma Frost and her frenemy Ororo Munroe have not been getting along! One fateful evening, as the two quibble away, they mysteriously switch bodies and minds. Talk about your Freaky Friday! What lessons will they learn, walking a mile in one another’s shoes? And will they be able to switch back, or will they stay in each other’s bodies forever? Mutant Monday, coming soon to a cinema near you. Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Angela Bassett and Elliot Page. (PG-13)

For a moment, we’re in a proper period drama: a letter delivers ill tidings!

I love that Kitty’s parents are so self-involved that it took them A WHOLE YEAR to realize that it’s weird that Kitty is the only non-adult attending the Xavier Institute.

I can only assume the mailman interrupted a pool party of some kind? Or a communal shower? I get why Kurt would not swim a lot - all that fur - but did Scott wear that while they were splashing around? Was it a beach volleyball competition where one half got to wear swimsuits and the other half superhero costumes? Most importantly, was Scott’s costume always this tight?

Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

The awful thing is that Kitty’s parents are transferring her to the Massachusetts Academy, not realizing that headmistress Emma Frost is, in fact, a terrible human being. Charles, uncharacteristically, says that changing their minds telepathically is a line he does not cross (any more) and half the viewing audience bursts out in laughter. More importantly, last they saw Emma, she was kind of dead-by-Phoenix, so it might be better there this time? Kitty does a Classic Teenage Stomp-Off and Storm comes to comfort her. Kitty cries that life is unfair (“My parents are only doing this because they’re splitting up”) and Ororo tells her that yes, life is unfair. You just gotta roll with the punches as best you can.

To be fair, bald men are technically all cheek, so it doesn’t matter where you kiss them.

While I enjoy the relationship Kitty has with the other X-Men (Scott gave her a compliment! Logan told her his name!), especially the mother-daughter-bond she shares with Ororo, the whole Piotr-thing always gives me pause. Even if we’re being very generous with age, Kitty is, what? 14 going on 15? And Piotr is… 19? At best? I get why Kitty would have a crush on him: he’s a gentle hunky giant: at fifteen, my teenage ass would have felt the exact same viz-a-viz Colossus’ upper arms. The fact that Piotr reciprocates feels skeevy, though, especially because they’re always treated like star-crossed idiots these days.

Skee-vy.

Ororo drives Kitty to Massachusetts, where her young ward is greeted by someone named Muffy and whisked away for orientation. All seems well. Ororo stands in a parlour, surveying the grounds and considering that they should have fought harder for Kitty. Still, nothing seems too wrong just yet: this Academy just seems very preppy.

Not-at-all-dead Emma takes her cue and jumps out, saying (essentially): “Surprise motherfucker.”

There’s a flash of light, and then...

I’m willing to bet that Emma’s EVIL journal has the following to-do-list: - Steal Storm’s body. - Experiment with her powers. - See how good Storm looks in white. (Leather? Fur?! Both!??) - REWARD: Smoke break.

I wonder if Emma’s plan hinged on being able to body-swap with Storm, or whether any X-Man would have sufficed. Was her original target Xavier? Cyclops? What if one of Kitty’s parents had brought her to Massachusetts, would she have taken Kitty instead?

In a locked cell, Storm wakes up in Emma’s body and is horrified. I wonder why Emma didn’t take any more precautions. Couldn’t the guy who made the freaky friday-gizmo also make a power dampener to nullify not!Emma’s telepathic abilities? Or did Emma count on her victim being so utterly incapacitated by her mind-powers that they’d be driven mad? (This would actually tie in with some of Emma’s later-revealed history: when her powers first emerged, she also got locked away in a padded room because of her madness.)

Emma is not wrong, by the way: Storm can’t get a handle on Emma’s powers. What follows is possibly the sweetest moment in an arc filled with sweet moments:

This arc isn’t drawn by any of the regulars - not Byrne, not Cockrum - but Josef Rubinstein brings his own kind of panache to the pages. I love the way he draws women’s faces: in a story that’s all about women, their faces are actually distinguishable. Kudoz.

Emma, meanwhile, coordinates with Sebastian Shaw to execute the second part of their two-pronged attack on the X-Men. They both laugh evilly in their phones while the mansion is attacked by Sentinels! These androids take out Cyclops and Xavier with some sleeping gas and knock out Nightcrawler, but the rest of the X-Men manage to trounce these robots. Then ‘Storm’ appears! She zaps the rest of the X-Men (and Amanda Sefton), successfully finishing their master-plan.

It’s not entirely clear what the Hellfire Club wants with the X-Men this time, but I’m assuming it’s more experimentation to improve the sentinels? Eh, doesn’t matter! Nefarious Hellfire Club is nefarious.

The real Storm, meanwhile, comes to claim Kitty, forgetting that she looks like the one and only Emma Frost. Kitty spooks and Storm accidentally reaches out, knocking her out telepathically. Whoops! Storm takes Kitty and flees in a car, while Emma gives chase. (How dare Ororo run off with her body, which is absolutely the kind of hypocritical hilariousness we all love Emma for.)

Kitty awakens and jumps from the car, causing Storm to swerve and...

JETSTREAM!? Speaking of which, where are the Hellions in all of this?

Kitty sees that an unconscious ‘Emma’ is about to burn to a tender and moist little crisp and she is faced with the hero’s dilemma: would you save a villain that would never save you?

Emma, meanwhile, has realized the downside to body-swapping: somebody else gets to run around with your body too. Shaw, of all people, talks her down from her anger.

You can’t just introduce a persona exchange gun to the plot WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHERE THE FUCK YOU GOT IT FROM.

My favorite detail is that Emma keeps calling Kitty brat, like she’s some sort of Pokémon-villain.

Kitty, meanwhile, has saved ‘Emma’ and tied her up with a special knot. Storm tries to convince Kitty, going for the “ask me something only Storm would know”, but Kitty’s all: “Duh, you’re a telepath.” Ororo insists, but the thing that clinches it is when she breaks free of her ties without breaking a sweat. That knot was taught to Kitty by Ororo and she’d be the only one who knew how to break out of it.

Storm and Kitty recruit Stevie Hunter to come pick them up and during the ride, Storm-being-angry-mother!Storm convinces Kitty more than anything else:

After all, Storm was voted most likely to say: “If you don’t stop this nonsense immediately, I will turn this Blackbird around, so help me God!”

Ororo and Kitty sneak inside. Ororo even uses Emma’s telepathy to help her pick a lock after phasing through a door. (Kind of funny: Kitty’s still such a neophyte that she can’t even phase with anyone else yet.) Emma, meanwhile, taunts the captured X-Men, presenting herself as the new white queen:

Anybody feel the inclination to point out that the Hellfire Club did this exact same thing last year, except then they tried it with a redhead?

I secretly suspect that the Hellfire Club’s plots always revolve around seducing X-Men to their side and dressing them up in sexy lingerie. (Which: fair.) There’s also a subplot where the guys Wolverine cut apart last year want to exact revenge on him for being made bionic, but eh. We’ll start paying attention to them when they become actual Reavers.

Kitty phases through the locks of the X-Men, freeing them, and a kerfuffle ensues. Emma starts using Storm’s powers, but they grow out of control. Colossus tosses Shaw out of the window - which should just be company policy, really: all Shaws should be defenestrated - where he’s promptly hit by a rogue thunderbolt.

When he doesn’t get up, Emma starts to lose it. The weather goes wild. Storm intervenes, using her telepathic power to help calm down Emma (and the raging storm), but she also manages to get a hold of the swap-gun. There’s a zap, and with a satisfied sigh, the status-quo is restored again.

My favorite implication is that, apparently, Emma decides which school Kitty attends and not her parents.

While this little arc is neither the most iconic nor the most profound of 1981 -- those would be Days of Future Past and I, Magneto, respectively -- I still love this for a couple of reasons.

As a lover of Freaky Friday, 17 Again and the new Jumanji-film, I just have a soft spot for body swap plots. (Hi Psylocke!)

It focuses on the Xavier Institute as a school, planting seeds for the upcoming New Mutants.

It is very female-driven without beating you over the head with it. (Looking at you, Birds of Prey.)

It has three definitive main characters, who all get fleshed out in fun and interesting ways. It starts the trend of robbing Ororo of some of her powers and tossing her into against-the-odds circumstances, only for her to come out on top.

It solidifies the Storm/Kitty mother/daughter (or older/younger sibling) dynamic. Kitty is a believable teenager when it comes to Storm - clever and kind, but also looking for answers and prone to rash decisions - and I love how much they care for each other.

Jean/Storm-friendship-callback, yay!

Emma gets fleshed out as a villain. Resourceful and petty, powerful and vain. It’s no wonder she’s one of the break-out antagonists of the X-Men, because, like Magneto, Claremont is not afraid of giving her depth. Arguably, she is the most three-dimensional of the Hellfire Club at this point.

Yay! And fuck completely sensible plots, if you don’t know what to do with your plot, just introduce a random persona exchange gun. Let’s use it on Xavier and Legion in Way of X next!

[lithnin]

Agreed completely with 1, and with 2 as far as it goes, although I am uncomfortably aware that historically, arming people to fight off Russia has led to... new and interesting problems later on.

Mostly agreed with 3, although probably the best outcome of a temporary peace is that it might give Ukraine enough time to join NATO, after which the odds of Russia trying a renewed invasion are (hopefully) lower. But that can't be guaranteed, and whether deliberately aiming for that outcome would be worth the risk is debatable. (My own view is, probably not.)

A couple scenarios for 4 that seem plausible:

Russia eventually wins and conquers Ukraine completely. I don't think this is very likely, especially if the West commits even more resources to stop it, but it is possible.

Russia basically bankrupts itself trying to continue the war, either literally or in terms of public support (or for that matter, warm bodies to throw into the meat grinder), and has to stop even if they would prefer not to. In the extreme case, Russia is unbalanced enough that it triggers a coup and Putin is retired/replaced/defenestrated. Whether the next guy is any better is another question.

Things go nuclear and there's nobody left to negotiate peace with. Whoops!

Okay, so as the typical ignorant American, I have four thoughts about Russia's war against Ukraine that I think are pretty plausible:

Vladamir Putin is a dictator, and having him bring a previously democratic country under his rule through war would be an unequivocal loss for any kind of left-wing or, for that matter, morally permissible politics at all;

If we wish to prevent that outcome, arms shipments to Ukraine are obviously and directly connected to that goal, i.e. the more military strength Ukraine has, the better they will be at fighting off Russian military aggression and ending the war on terms favorable to them;

Both the Ukrainian government and individual Ukrainians have strong reasons to be skeptical of the Russian government and any overtures from Russia. Given the nature of this current assault, people will ask, "If Russia gains something from any peace agreement, what stops them from spending a few years nursing their wounds, improving their position, and then invading again, eventually killing Ukraine with the death of 1,000 cuts?" Avoiding such a situation seems like a sensible and in fact crucial goal for Ukraine.

Notwithstanding the above, I don't really see how you have any end to this war that isn't some kind of negotiated peace, because what on earth is the alternative? Ukraine conquering or extracting an unconditional surrender from Russia seems basically impossible to me.

I'm a very ignorant, simple man, perhaps one of these points is wrongheaded somehow.

But I will say that they strike me as a fairly reasonable set of statements that a sensible person might at least start with as their assumptions.

So it's very strange and frankly disconcerting to me how much English language rhetoric I've run across which treats one or more of those points as not only wrong, but as so insanely, obviously, crazily wrong that the person practically rends their garments in despair at the thought that anybody could possibly believe such obvious hogwash.

I've seen people treat each of those four points as so obviously wrong that they aren't even worth rebutting, which I really can't wrap my head around.

I mean one or more might be wrong but surely none of them are totally insane?

[jaminjims]

「BRAIN GO BRR」

anon request: Heyyy! Could I request for an imagine for prompt 83? An ot7 platonic bts 8th reader crack / fluff? Like they’re playing around and it gets a wee bit competitive? 😅

prompt: “if you want me, come and get me, motherfuckers.”

pairing: platonic!bts ot7 x gender neutral!reader

genre: crack >:), fluff

warnings: strong language?? should that be a warning?

words: 1.3k

~**~

You looked seriously into Taehyung’s eyes, determined that you would get it right no matter what he did. The stakes were high as your team was only one point away from winning.

Tae meowed.

“Monkey!”

There was a brief pause before several different things happened at once.

“Monkey?! I meow and the first animal you think of is monkey, oh my god. Can I hit you?” Taehyung looked at Jin for permission, “Can I hit Y/n?”

“Yah! I can’t help it if you sound like a monkey all the time; you never evolved past caveman! That’s natural selection Tae! Aish, why couldn’t you just evolve past caveman brain.” You whined and messed with your hair in frustration. Jimin and Jungkook looked on in despair as now the Hyung team was a point closer to winning the game and now the two teams were tied. Hoseok and Jin did all they could not to pass out from laughter while Yoongi just nodded to your exclamation like it was universal knowledge that most people, indeed, did not evolve past caveman brain. Namjoon looked like he would like to end his suffering and was contemplating if it was too late to resign as leader. He should let Yeontan take up the mantle. Or maybe get a lizard. Lizards are patient and wise, right?

Ah yes, the elegance that was animal association; where you make an animal noise and if your partner gets it right then the team gets a point. If your partner gets it wrong, then the other team gets the point. Simple really.

Well, unless it came to you, apparently. There was really a 50/50 chance with you.

It was your birthday and you were all gathered in the dorm living room, having a mini party to celebrate while v-living the event. It seemed like the mass lack of IQ you had spread and lowered the general intelligence of everyone in your vicinity though, as Taehyung exclaimed;

“You never evolved past tadpole brain!” He pointed back at you and you had half a mind to bite his finger.

Before you could act on your biting instincts, Jimin laid a hand on your shoulder with a grim expression on his face. “Even I knew it was a cat, Y/n-ah.”

There was obviously something missing in their brain functions because no, that was definitely a monkey. You lunged for the phone to consult ARMY in the decision but Namjoon had enough sense to pull it away from you before you did something rash. Coincidently, you tripped trying to get up to get it back from the leader, and he just looked down at you with something akin to utter misery for this game in his eyes. Or maybe it was war flashbacks. Probably war flashbacks.

Hoseok couldn’t help it; he was basically wheezing he was laughing so hard and Jin went to help you up, though, he was laughing too and almost fell on you in the process. Yoongi was trying his best not to laugh but he kinda looked like the embodiment of the 👁👄👁 face to you.

“Hey! We can still win this, team! They can still get the next one wrong!” Jungkook exclaimed with determination in his eyes. Jimin nodded along with him as you four sat off to the side and the four eldest got together. It was Jin and Yoongi’s turn and Jin thought of an animal that they haven’t done yet.

He hissed.

There was a tense few seconds before Yoongi, quite confidently, replied with “Hedgehog.”

Jin’s eyes widened as he smiled, that caused Hoseok to whoop in victory because if Jin was acting like that then Yoongi had obviously gotten it right. “Aish, you’re so smart.” Jin complimented. Yoongi smiled and looked at the younger ones with smug victory in his eyes. Namjoon sighed like the long suffering parent he was.

It only goes downhill from here.

Your poor brain struggled to make sense of it. “Hedgehog?! What the fuck?! Do hedgehog’s even hiss!?”

This time Hoseok, Jin, and Yoongi started laughing and celebrating their victory while your other three team members looked at you.

You met Jungkook’s cold stare first, “I am going to defenestrate you.” Then they all lunged at you. You yelled and bolted up, grabbing one of those sticky, stretching rubber hand things you can throw at walls to get them to stick there. (if you know, you know) You had insisted you have them as party favors.

You ran around the couch so there was something between you and the other three maknaes. “But we live on the fourth floor!”

“Exactly!” Jimin added, “Maybe if you hit your head hard enough you can gain some brain function back!” Tae continued.

They ran around one way as you ran around the other. You used your sticky hand to hit them in the face when you could while the Hyung line stood a respectful distance away from the chaos and got it on camera.

“Pause!” You yelled and you all froze. You pointed at them while they pointed back at you. Hoseok started laughing again because it reminded him of the one cartoon spider-man meme.

You smirked at them, “If you want me, come and get me, motherfuckers!” Then you bolted away and the poor hyungs didn’t realize you were running to them before it was too late. You hid behind Namjoon as Jimin, Jungkook, and Tae came at you.

You growled and barked at them like the rapid animal you were and it spoked Namjoon enough to almost drop the phone (that was still running the v-live, by the way).

“Did you just bark?” Yoongi said in disbelief while Hobi and Jin also had a look of confusion mixed with concern mixed with slight horror directed at you. Namjoon quickly moved out of the way so he didn’t contract whatever brain cell eating illness you had. You moved to get behind him again before the other young ones could get to you.

He would would have poked you back with a stick if he had one, “Back! Stay back I say!”

You paled when you realized that you had no cover and bolted down the hallway, Jimin hot on your feet and the other two not to far behind.

The hyung’s followed to wherever you were going to make sure everyone made it out somewhat still intact.

You ran into your room and only paused momentarily when you saw that, huh, when did you open the window?, before regaining your senses and dodgeing the three others as they came barreling into the room.

So, the scene looked like this. You on one side, closest to your closet and desk, while Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung were across from you, backs facing the weirdly opened window. The four oldest were watching on with non concealed laughter and amusement (well three of them were, Namjoon looked a little bit like he wanted a nap.)

With nothing between you and your attackers, you did the last thing you could do; which was throw the sticky green hand at them.

You missed and you all watched as it went falling out the window.

There was a few seconds of nothing before you all jumped at the sound of Hoseok’s phone. He looked at it and then back at the other members.

“It’s Sejin Hyung.” He answered the call and put it on speaker.

“Hoseok-ah, would you like to explain the sticky, green, ... hand thing that just flew out your dorm window and into Y/n’s cake?” That was Bang PD’s voice. Which only meant one thing; their boss was with their manager and they had just witnessed you throwing something out the window and landing in your cake.

Wait, it landed in your cake?!

“Wah! It landed in my cake?!” You whined in misery as Hoseok couldn’t help the incredulous giggle that escaped him. It was quiet on both sides before you heard your manager laugh from the other line.

After that it was a domino effect and you all started laughing, even Bang PD himself. While laughing you still couldn’t help the little whines that escaped you.

“But what about my cake??”

[end]

~**~

end note: PLEASE, i live for crack fics you guys. along with writing angst (which i seem to write the most, for whatever reason) crack is one of my favorite things to write. i feel like i get to really just let my already deteriorating mental stability go and write whatever comes to mind with prompts like these so i had sooo much fun! thank you so so so much for the request anonie! i loved it so much and i hope you like it as much as i did 💜

masterlist

request something!

taglist: @boba-tea1206

[sophie-jen]

“Prove it”

answer to @jilytoberfest prompt: “Prove it”

read on ao3 / ffn

Hidden by the cover of night, an eerie castle loomed in the darkness. Woodland creatures never strayed too close, for there were tales of dreadful goings-on within the tall stone walls. The sound of tinkling glass and polite conversation drifted out into the surrounding forest, curling through twisted trees like smoke, while pale moonlight poured in through the narrow windows, illuminating the sinister soirée taking place inside.  

Two gentlemen stood beneath a cluster of candles, speaking agitatedly and paying no heed to the other party-goers. One had artfully coiffed shoulder-length black hair, and was swatting repeatedly at the candles floating not far above as he spoke, while the other, who was bespectacled and had a head of hair that could only be described as the opposite of coiffed, eyed the nearby window like he was considering defenestrating himself at any moment. 

Candle swatter’s voice rose in pitch as he gleefully hammered the final nail in his interlocutor’s coffin. 

“Prove it,” he sneered, watching the confused man in front of him with poorly hidden jubilation. In his excitement, he gripped his wine glass so hard he risked shattering it, spilling the viscous red contents in the process. He had the idiot cornered, and he would relish it like a cat playing with its food.

“Excuse me?” the man asked. 

“I don’t believe you,” he said again.  

“Well, what do you suppose I do, Mr. Black? Go into anaphylaxis to reassure you I’m not lying?” the flustered gentleman responded, trying his best to hold his ground. 

“Except I know there won’t be any anaphylaxis, Mr. Potter,” Mr. Black retorted, “because you’re not really allergic.” 

Mr. Potter ran a hand tensely through his hair, at a loss for words. He was saved from further interrogation by someone calling his name. 

They both turned to see a woman in a black evening gown holding two glasses and walking toward them, eyes trained on Mr. Potter. “James, you’ll never believe what Morticia told me...” 

“Honey!” James practically yelled, relief immediately apparent in his slumped shoulders and softening face. He took a step toward her, grabbing onto her forearm as though anchoring himself. 

The woman smiled bemusedly at him, unsure how to interpret the outburst. She had hair as striking as her husband’s, though hers was a deep, blood red, and fell past her shoulders. James gratefully accepted the glass she handed him, taking a long drink, before remembering that they weren’t alone and turning back to his tormentor with a look of dread. 

“This is Sirius Black.” James gestured toward Sirius, though he did not take a step back towards him. “Mr. Black, this is my wife.”

The redhead looked over, noticing for the first time the particularly pale looking gentleman standing across from her husband, who was going to great pains to look moody and mysterious. 

“I hadn’t realized I was interrupting,” she said. “Lillian Potter, but you can just call me Lily.” She strode closer, James following reluctantly behind, and held a manicured hand out, the nails deadly sharp. 

“Pleasure to meet you, Lily,” Sirius greeted her, watching her claws carefully as they shook hands. 

There followed an awkward pause as they all stood looking at each other. Lily had evidently been expecting them to continue their previous conversation, which James did not seem eager to do, and Sirius didn’t feel quite as confident in his attack in her presence. 

“So, Sirius– is it alright if I call you Sirius?” The man in question nodded, not seeing any other option. Lily continued. “How was your trip? We’re holding this little party in quite a remote location this year.”

“The trip was very pleasant. My car– er, carriage, I mean, kept me shielded from the inclement weather.”

“Your carriage?” The couple looked surprised at this. “I haven’t heard of anyone coming in a carriage in years. It’s quite an old tradition,” Lily commented with a smile. “Why didn’t you fly?”

Sirius took a moment to ponder the question, swirling the liquid in his glass, though he did not drink any. “Naturally, I couldn’t risk ruining my hair. A lot of work goes into maintaining it, you know.” He smoothed the black strands delicately. “Funnily enough, I wanted to check it earlier and couldn’t find a single mirror here,” he added. 

Lily burst into laughter, as though the notion of having a mirror was uproariously funny. “Yes, that took me some getting used to at first.”

James, having grown less weary now that Sirius was acting civilly, finally chimed in. “I don’t mean to pry, but I can’t say I’ve heard of the name Black before. Are you...” he winced, not knowing how to broach the sensitive topic, “new?” 

A flash of confusion disappeared in Sirius’ eyes as quickly as it had appeared. “Yes, yes I am,” he answered, putting on a sorrowful face, which seemed to fit the tone of the question.

“I’m so sorry,” said Lily. “That must be so hard for you. We’re glad you could make it to this little gathering though. Having a sense of community was very comforting for us in the beginning.” 

James hummed softly at the words, settling a reassuring arm around Lily’s shoulders. 

“What about you?” inquired Sirius. “Are you new?”

“No, not at all. It’s been–” James began, and looked down at Lily. She shrugged, a sad smile on her face. “Years,” he sighed. “You lose count eventually.”

Sirius had no idea what response would be appropriate in this situation. “You’ve aged quite well,” he said.  

“Well, we were quite young when it happened,” Lily remarked. The small party sank back into silence, Lily and James looking on with wise solemnity, while Sirius looked a little lost. 

“So!” exclaimed James, in an attempt to liven the mood. “What do you think of the refreshments?” He winked at Sirius. 

“Marvelous!” Sirius held his glass up, which was still just as full as it had been at the beginning of the evening. 

“They’re particularly delicious this year,” said Lily. “But you haven’t drunk anything. Are you not feeling well?”

“You know, now that you mention it–” started Sirius.

“Oh, he was doing just fine earlier, sweetie,” interrupted James with a scoff. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sirius’ apprehension grew as he realized that James was no longer turning the other cheek, instead choosing to bite back. 

Lily looked confused at the sudden display of animosity. “James...” she muttered, warning in her tone as she placed a placating hand on his arm.

“He was full of energy right up until you got back!” James accused, his voice growing louder.  

“I don’t know what he’s talking about, Lily.” Sirius leaned towards her and spoke in a conspiratorial tone, as though her husband shouldn’t be privy to what he had to say. 

James looked affronted. “He tried to make me eat garlic!” he cried, pointing at Sirius like he was tattling to a teacher. 

“I did not!” lied Sirius, with the instinct of a 4-year-old being accused of stealing his classmate’s pencils. 

Lily simply stared. At length, the poor woman asked, “What?”

“He asked me whether I’m allergic to garlic,” James explained, “and when I told him I was, he said he didn’t believe me. He tried to convince me to prove it to him by eating some in front of him!” he finished, a whiny edge to his voice. 

She whirled on Sirius. “You tried to convince my husband to eat garlic?” 

Sirius only stared, figuring it was best to keep his mouth shut. 

“Why would you–” Lily looked at him in confusion for a beat, and suddenly her eyes widened in comprehension. Sirius’ heart dropped as he watched her turn to James, who was having a revelation of his own, and saw the understanding pass between them. They looked back at him in unison. 

Before he could understand what was happening, Lily had grabbed him by the wrist and was dragging him out of the room, James following quickly behind. She pulled him into an empty corridor, lit only by a few sconces hanging on the stone walls. 

“Who are you?” she hissed, her eyes glowing red in the murky darkness. 

“Please don’t drink my blood!” howled Sirius, “I’m young! I’ve got a long life ahead of me!” 

“Shut up, you prat,” growled James, slapping a hand over the prat’s mouth. 

“We’re not going to hurt you, but you need to tell us who you are and what you’re doing here right this instant, or I cannot promise that things won’t get ugly,” threatened Lily. She nodded at James to let go of the whimpering intruder. 

It all came spilling out. “I’m not a vampire! The invitation was delivered to me by mistake and I figured it was a joke, but when I got here and realized you were all actually drinking blood out of bloody wine glasses it was too late to leave! I just did my best to blend in,” he finished meekly. 

“By accusing a vampire of lying about his garlic allergy?” Lily asked incredulously. 

“You’re shitting me,” came the sound of James’ voice from off to the side. 

Sirius looked over at him apprehensively, expecting to see anger, or worse, hunger. But James was looking at him with an expression of such wondrous awe that Sirius thought for a moment he might kiss him. “Mate,” James said hoarsely, “that’s wicked.” His face split into a shit-eating grin. 

Puzzled yet thrilled by the development, Sirius grinned back. The two boys immediately began chattering, speaking over each other in their excitement. 

“–the balls to do something like this–”

“–really like the taste of blood?”

“–a carriage? Oh yes, it’s delicious–”

“–it seemed old-fashioned, and you’re, like, old. Can you really not see your reflection?” 

“No, it’s a bloody nightmare. But we never age! On the other hand–” 

“Sorry about the garlic thing, by the–”

“–no more cake. No worries, but I really am seriously allergic–”

“–can fly?!”

At the mention of flying, James’ eyes lit up. “Wanna see?” he asked excitedly. He took a few steps back and turned into a bat to the sound of Sirius’ whoops of delight. 

Lily watched her husband fly around a cheering Sirius from a safe distance away. “Un-fucking-believable,” she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose so hard she looked like she might draw blood. Had there been any blood to draw. 

Several minutes later, after an aerial demonstration and a tour of James’ fangs, they were finally able to discuss more pressing matters. Sirius now had to field Lily’s questions, which weren’t quite as easy to answer as James’. 

“Why would you go all the way out to the middle of nowhere, to a party you weren’t invited to, with people you didn’t know?” she inquired. 

“Because he’s awesome.”

“James, please.”

“Right. Er, this is very serious.” James waggled his finger gravely in his newfound soulmate’s face. “We do need to figure out a way to get him out of here though,” he remarked, looking back at Lily. 

“Can’t you just fly me out?” Sirius asked, all inhibitions lost now that he had James to back him up. 

“You think a bat can carry your body weight?” Lily snapped, at her wit’s end. 

“I read about a passage through the cellar that leads out into the forest, I think,” offered James, feeling guilty for having left Lily on her own to try and solve the very real issue of Sirius’ presence at a party of bloodsuckers.  

“That might work. Lead the way.” She exhaled tiredly, then hummed appreciatively when James wrapped a supportive arm around her waist.  

The unlikely trio made their way down the hallway together, Lily’s head resting on James’ shoulder as she grudgingly answered Sirius’ barrage of questions about the ethics of vampirism. 

The two vampires and the impostor snuck out of the castle and disappeared into the gloomy night.

[decennia]

anything? 🤔

any ideas for val x ernie? ernies reactions to her, the hufflepunks reaction to them, who asks who out, who kisses first, and so on???

Val and Ernie are my OTP, my ride or die, sink or swim.

Ernie only took notice of Valeria during fourth year.

He always knew of her, but he never knew her. All he knew was that she was pretty, and a Slytherin, and he figured that combination meant she wouldn't bother wasting her time with the likes of him.

The first time he noticed her — actually stopped, and sat, and took notice of her because everything he actually knew about her was based off assumptions he'd made based on previous interactions with Slytherins — it hadn't been some Great Event™ where time stood still while he watched her glide down the stone steps in her velvet gown for the Yule Ball (though when he had seen her for the Ball, his heart stuttered, and he forgot how to function his lungs for a good minute).

No, this had happened during what Ernie thought was going to be a normal Slytherin-Hufflepuff transfiguration lesson.

It was all theory that day. They were learning about... By Merlin, he couldn't remember.

Probably because he'd been partnered with her.

Or, more specifically, she'd partnered herself with him.

In an effort to strengthen house relations, Professor Sprout had suggested to all the teachers that they should implement more "teamwork" into their lessons.

Which was all well and good, only no one wanted to pair up with him.

It was no secret that Ernest Macmillan was well and truly the worst transfiguration student Hogwarts had ever seen. So, crestfallen, he watched as Althea joined Kieran Alvarez, and as Sue side eyed the Emerald Trio in contempt, before deciding Draco Malfoy had at least half a braincell to get her a passing grade.

And every other Slytherin avoided him like the plague.

And then, he was enveloped in the scent of perfume, subtle, beautiful. He looked up, curious, to find Valeria Rutherford, easing herself into the chair beside him, her bag dropping unceremoniously to the floor with a thud that might've been loud if the blood hadn't been rushing in his ears.

"I think you have the wrong seat," he managed to stammer out.

"No," she said, quite simply. She never looked at him. "I'm right where I need to be."

He struggled between openly staring, and avoiding even a glance her way the entire lesson. They worked in quite pleasant silence.

He was so nervous, he knocked over his inkwell, poor thing.

Val didn't say a word, she just handed him a monogrammed silk handkerchief from her breast pocket, and continued working.

His ears flamed, and he thought he'd pass out with embarrassment as he mopped up the ink.

No sooner had Professor McGonagall uttered her dismissal was Valeria Rutherford gone, the only indication that she hadn't been a dream being a scrap of ink soaked silk and that trace of perfume still lingering in the air.

He wouldn't shut up about her for days.

Sue had been ready to kill him after the first hour, but it took four days for Althea to crack.

Especially when he snuck into their room at five a.m., after having remembered something else about her he liked.

There was a lot.

And Ernie was observant.

"You know what else I like about Val? Her socks. Did you see them? They were velvet. Velvet socks! Who has velvet socks? Valeria does, that's who. Magical!" "ALTHEA, I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T LET ME JINX HIM, AT LEAST LET ME GET ONE GOOD PUNCH." "Shh, go to sleep, I'll get you some earplugs tomorrow, Sue. Ernie... If you know what's good for you, leave before I find my wand."

But in spite of everything, Ernie couldn't get three words out to Valeria.

At least not without becoming a stuttering mess.

Sue and Althea — having rediscovered their better natures during their waking hours — were quite supportive of Ernie. Never pushed him to speak to Val, only gave him a subtle head's up she had entered the room so he wouldn't suddenly choke on his own tongue (you'd think that it would be quite impossible, having spent your whole life successfully avoiding it, but it happened so often to Ernie in Val's presence, the Hufflepunks developed a whole secret sign language to give him fair warning).

Val asked Ernie out first (officially).

Unofficially, Ernest Macmillan had attempted, and failed, to ask Valeria Rutherford out about fifty-eight times (Hannah had been keeping track; she shared a room with Sue and Althea, and was consequently privy to any and all declarations of love made at dawn).

He'd barely managed to stammer out the words "hello Valeria would you-?" (four words, a new record) before she smiled and said, "go to the Yule Ball with me."

It hadn't been a question.

Which was good, because Ernie wouldn't have been able to answer, he was rendered utterly speechless.

She stood, gave him a kiss on the cheek (he would later swear up and down the room that it had been the corner of his mouth, even though Althea, Sue, Hannah, and Justin had all been witness to the very chaste kiss. "Ern, it was closer to your ear." "Yeah, well, that's hot too!")

Ernie was the first one to kiss Valeria properly.

It had been the end of the night for the Yule Ball, and Ernie was walking Val back to the Slytherin common room.

Poor lad was so nervous, he was practically vibrating.

He attempted small talk, but the stutter was back. He cursed himself under his breath, he'd been doing so well that night, having managed to make it through without fucking up once, and now, there he was, dissolving in the echoey silence of the corridor. He hated the way his voice garbled and bounced around him against the stone.

He'd been so great earlier. He'd even managed to make Valeria laugh! And if he thought his crush was bad before, it was absolutely devastating now.

"This is me," she'd said. Her voice sounded nice in the echoey silence of the corridor, he decided.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she'd laughed again, and he was prepared to defenestrate himself, because no music would ever match that sound, and nothing would ever consume him so deliciously as the way she made him feel, looking at him with a small smile dancing across her lips.

"Are you sure it's not another lap around the castle?"

Her response was a light chuckle, and then she leaned in.

For a hug, he would realize too late, as he stuck out his hand awkwardly for a handshake.

Her movements faltered, and brief confusion was chased away by humour as she accepted his outstretched hand and gave it one firm shake.

"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" She'd grinned.

"Yeah," he'd choked out, ears aflame. No, he thought. You will never see me again because I'm about to take on the Whomping Willow in hand to hand combat.

He'd promptly spun on his heel and began writing his will in his head. To Althea, I leave my broomstick. Sue, she'll get my Chocolate Frog Card Collection—

Valeria had been halfway through the Slytherin password when Ernest Macmillan had returned.

She'd faltered, surprised, and suddenly his lips were on hers.

He was a good kisser, which always came as a surprise to people.

His chest was heaving when they broke apart, the thrill of her thrumming deep in his bones.

"Sorry," he heard himself say. He wasn't stammering any more. "I just wasn't going to let myself ruin tonight."

He then planted a gentle kiss to the back of her hand before leaving her there, a swagger in his step, and elation fogging his brain.

When he rounded the corner and disappeared from her sight, he'd broken into a sprint, whooping for joy. He'd even hugged Professor Sprout on his way back to the Hufflepuff common rooms. Through her laughter, she'd admonished him for running in the hallways, but he couldn't hear her, because he was on another plane of existence, because he'd kissed Valeria Rutherford, the most beautiful girl in the world, and she'd kissed him back.

Sue and Althea had stayed up for him this time.

Even Hannah had groggily pulled herself out of her slumber to hear about it.

And after he was done, dopey grin on his face, he fell back onto Althea's bed.

He realized he was wrong; there was one thing that could consume him as deliciously as the way she made him feel. It was her kiss.

[frozenwolftemplar]

AU where Zhan Tiri was defenestrated or something and the Goodwill Festival goes off without a hitch until the grab, wherein Gregorio is beyond sluggish.

Cass-as-Faith: I don't understand. I mean, you went through his pre-grab routine, right?

Rapunzel: Yeah, I brushed him, like, a hundred times.

Cass: And his snack...?

Rapunzel: His what?

Cass, the problem suddenly dawning on her, wearing the stiffest, most pained grin imaginable: If. He. Doesn't. Have. His. Snack. He's. Sluggish.

Rapunzel: Ohhhhhhh....

Cass, nearing the end of her rope: Didn't you see the dish of berries?

Rapunzel: I thought they were for me...

Cass: ......

Rapunzel: Whoops?

Cass, to Eugene: And you couldn't have told her because I know for a fact *you* know.

Eugene: (how does she...?) Well, considering how I still can't tell Corona's so-similarly-named-it-should-be-illegal berries apart, it's probably best I stayed out of it.

Cass: HOW DO YOU TWO GET ANYTHING DONE?!?!?!?!?! DOES EVERYONE BECOME INCOMPENTEN WHEN I'M NOT AROUND?!?!?!?!?

Rapunzel: But Faith, you've *been* around....

Cass: ....Whoops.

Since Rapunzel wasn’t there for like 90% of the tent scenes back in Rapunzel’s enemy, a small part of me wonders if she just didn’t realize that feeding Gregorio was part of the Gopher Grab prep. Cause think about it, she only walks in whenever Cass is grooming him

[fandom-sheep]

Eret 11 MAY 21

Cat and DSMP Part 1/1

Cat! Goose!

Goose my beloved.

Eret’s streaming very late for me again. So I’m not staying the whole time.

Hello Elaina. Enjoy Goose.

Fundy! Kinda...

Fundy hearing the donations. LOL.

Fundy enters a stream and it starts to scuffed. Scuffed just follows Fundy wherever he goes.

A wild my beloved on the cube.

The Drista stairs.

Wait what. Why is the tower gone?

I have missed some lore.

Ah... it’s part of the nightmare thing.

Eret offering Fundy housing like a good almost adoptive parent.

Sneeze? OH WOW SNEEZE.

Sounds like Fundy about lost a lung. Good gracious.

The bargaining between these two.

Cat, Handsome, said cube was massive

You know what that works.

It’s hard to keep the audio right for Eret’s stream for my headphones. It’s either too quiet or the loudest my headphones can go and my family can hear it.

On stream explosions. Noice.

Wow youtooz. Not super cool. Permission is usually a good thing.

Eret keeps on sizzling.

Getting dirt for scaffolding. Going old fashioned Minecraft for this.

“Why is the Cube kinda hot” cue Eret losing faith in her chats sanity.

Cube go poof.

Oh. Red stone. That’s dangerous.

I like this song. Oh klahoma. Gorgeous song.

Love joy is such a fun band. I want to make a plushy of the cat.

It’s kinda sad that Eret can’t see themselves the way chat and their little fandom sees them. Most all of us think they look fabulous.

Not Arson. Just bombing. A bit of anarchy by the king.

Demolition. Now there’s the word.

Controlled ish demolition.

Ah I’ve almost saved enough channel points for water. Nice. I’m not going to redeem it I’m just going to keep hoarding the points.

Flame Arrow. Nice.

Eret cleaning up the SMP eye sours.

Watch me attempt to sleep to Eret here in an hour or so, but keep getting distracted.

Explosion time.

Someone get ready to clip it.

Bye Bye Cube. Let’s go.

Gotta get a song that fits the vibe.

Hayloft. Time to go poof.

Turning up my brightness just to watch this explosion in the best way possible.

Still wearing the red dress I see.

I hope the music isn’t too loud to get this part muted.

Drum roll...

Drum roll continues...

Drum roll still going...

THERE GOES THE CUBE!

That was so smooth and good looking!

Overall a very good explosion.

Just a little bit of a hole in the other building.

Twitch Pr-

Poor being’s so confused with his hair. Someone help them.

Twitch bleep.

Everyone attempting to give hair styling advice. Everyone’s trying to help the being.

That bird is majestic. I remember seeing that tiktok.

Animals just decided Eret was the animal whisperer.

Yes! Disney Princess Eret fanart! Someone make it, I shall reblog all of it.

Likes to hug cute animals and cute animals like being hugged by her. Nice.

It’s alright. Names are difficult. I have to like put name tags on people to learn who they are. That or name tags on their space (like on campers bunks and door decs on dorms)

It does feel very February. But I’m very ready for summer because that means I get to do my favorite job.

Hooray. I hit 15k points.

Eret trying to prove to us a ponytail won’t work. Like we aren’t going to hype them up no matter what.

Gotta heart in the chat. All Eret’s chat does is hearts and encourage. It’s a lovely place.

Oh Eret forgot his cat ear sub goal. It’s alright I know I forgot.

Pride is next month. Nice.

Oh. We’re almost halfway already. Why does the world spin so quickly?

We forgot a dirt tower. Whoops.

I would wear Eret merch. I like it when people release merch around Christmas. Then I can ask for it as a gift.

Oh it wasn’t a dirt tower.

Just looking at Elaina’s stream in the stream selection screen it like very cozy.

All the way up the Drista stairs.

Look it’s the museum!

Eret’s got most of the builds around there. The museum. The fortress. Nice.

Some things are too historical to remove. Somethings are historical because they are being removed.

Oh no. L’sandburg.

It’s taking over the summer home.

Ah the lore is coming. It just seemed to be too early.

Hello unofficial ranboo Raiders.

Foolish making the awesome tall thingy!

Foolish’s builds are so neat. I want to watch Foolish’s streams more. Maybe just in the background but I start wanting to delayed liveblog and that requires attention.

Oh the giant portal turned out well. Sorry that was the lady’s foolish stream I watched.

Shulkers. The forbidden mob.

Eret with just a pit in the desert filled with llamas. Bones. And discus.

The mansion has been finished?

Alright is better than bad. It’s alright to be alright.

Lucky being not getting tired. I got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine and I was so so tired. I also had just no appetite.

Eret doing an smp tour. And looking at foolish’s builds.

Flickering the switch on the rainbow beacons.

Eret just knowing where everything is.

Kinoko is super pretty. Just for the aesthetic value of the kingdom I appreciate it.

Yeet. Just defenestrated himself out the window.

Oh? Spectator fly over the smp?

That would be really neat to like. Watch in VR. I think I’ve only used VR maybe twice.

Pretty Rainbow beacons.

The nurse who gave me my vaccine hid the needle from me because I mentioned to her that I was afraid of needles. It wasn’t a big deal at all.

30 minutes till I attempt sleep. Woo.

Goose my beloved. Someone make the gif because I’m not quite sure how to make it.

Oh yeah. Goose in Marvel. I hear MCU and think Minecraft cinematic universe. Not marvel.

Ghibli is so nice. It really romanticize small moments of life.

Yeah the characters are all really supportive in Ghibli movies.

Someone subbed for nine months “that’s enough to make a child” -Eret

That mansion is like a maze. I’m so lost already.

Everyone encouraging Eret and telling her she looks pretty. Good.

Eret needs all the hype and encouragement.

Antarctic empties flag. Yeah it does have a similar color pallet.

Michelle! Hello!

Fortress work. Nice.

Do it. I’ll listen the Eret play other games.

I don’t usually watch game play for non Minecraft games. But I’ll listen to it all.

Hbomb and Eret living in the same city feels like two worlds that shouldn’t meet. But it’s awesome that they have.

TOS means against twitches terms of service. Nice. Glad to finally have an explanation of what that means.

Look at our handsome and pretty streamer. All the hype.

I keep turning down the stream to hear the show my mama has on because I’m curious about what happens.

Yeah. Backseat gaming can be annoying. That’s part of why I share my thoughts here just in case I do start backseat gaming.

Almost to the sub goal. Hooray!

Ooo food.

No no. I see where they are coming from. Eret does give a bit of cat bus vibes. I can’t explain it but the vibes are there.

Creeper causing issues at the fortress.

Ed Sheepran my beloved.

I should draw more ferrets. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe I’ll draw us doing stuffs.

Actually I kinda want to make a little animatic of some heels walking across the screen followed by a hoard of ferrets. I think it’ll look cool. But I need the artistic ability and the ability to not scream making that.

Woop. Ad time. Off to the void of where ever the ads game me.

OH THE NEW VOID LOOKS COOL!

Bread. Flowers. Ted. Crown. And of course Eret.

We V O I D and get our streamer bits.

Hush the chat is V O I D and the occasional emoji or emote.

The void being centered looks good. Maybe that’s just the symmetry speaking but it’s good.

Oh. We hear the being. The being in void mode. And spooky mode.

Chat just starts yelling corpse.

Hydration. I try to stay hydrated. But I fail often if I’m not doing something active.

Tree!

Casually makes and snags tree.

Eret does read chat often. It’s strange. And it is weird how often it ends up being you.

You can tell I’m a tumblr peep. I may say stuff in chat but I’m fully not expecting or wanting to be noticed by the streamer.

Others hitting darkness o’clock and saying goodnight.

It’s sleep to the stream hours y’all. Whoop.

I need to visit the parks out west. I’ve only really seen the eastern US ones. But I have been to the Great Smokey Mountain park which is gorgeous.

Eret thinking of his friends triggers when naming his cat.

Eret’s builds are so casually pretty. Not like Foolish’s which are intricately pretty. Not like Phil’s or Sam’s which are complicated pretty. All pretty. Just different breeds of pretty.

Alrighty. It’s sleepy hours for me. As much as I love Eret I want to read some fanfiction and daydream a bit before I head to sleep.

Have a good rest everyone and may all your coming meals be delicious.

Wait no is it our turn with goose?

OUR TURN WITH GOOSE!

Eret honey that’s the ceiling.

Cat stream. Cat stream.

Sleepy kitty. A cat cam would be good.

Yeah. That happens with cats. Especially strays.

Goose captured the computer mouse.

Goose straight up chose Eret and Elaina.

Goose really just chose not to leave.

Oh my stream connection is acting sad. But I want Goose content.

I want to draw Goose now.

Maybe I’ll do water color for Goose. I know I tried to do that with Boots (Fundy’s cat)

Hopefully there will be some Goose face screenshots I can see. Maybe I can see him well in the Tiktok.

Artists just violently refusing payment. Sounds about right. The MCYT artists just kinda go “yeah give credit and we cool”

Cowboy cat. Nice.

I want to paint Goose in the cowboy hat.

Hype train! That we are zooming.

Bucket sponge?

WATER BUCKET FROM WET SPONGE! Tiktok people giving all the cool info.

Go Goose. Catch the computer mouse and the screen mouse.

Just sitting here at 11:30 at night getting screen shots of Goose for painting purposes.

Goose please. Look at the camera babe.

My phone is dying. And I can’t charge it and type.

Alright the camera is off the cat. The cat is also blocking the screen.

But no cat on camera means I’m getting some sleep. If I do any of the projects I’ve mentioned I’ll let y’all know.

Have a good rest everyone.

[ao3feed-assassin-class]

So This is Where You Fell

So This Is Where You Fell by Dollars tore

Word Prompt:

Defenestration – “the action of throwing someone out of a window.”

AKA: Principal Asano should really start avoiding the windows, especially when a certain blue-haired assassin in training is nearby.

Words: 1482, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Assassination Classroom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Other

Characters: Shiota Nagisa, Asano Gakuhou

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Nagisa is an unintentional chaos entity, then he isn't, Also known as that one fic where the principal gets constantly dunked on, Principal Asano gets yeeted, Nagisa 'professional yeeter' Shiota, No windows were harmed in the making of this fic, The Principal has one weakness, And that one weakness is blue, Why you don't run in the halls, Nagisa has one fear, And that fear gets yeeted, You thought you'd escaped, You thought wrong, whooP, Fuck 'em up Nagisa

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30520431