#who truly believe they’re about to control another person’s actions

[land-of-departure]

there’s so, thing so infuriating to me about someone TELLING me what to do. my brain immediately turns on instakill mode like………….. mind ya business hoe………..

[vivmaek]

MARS SIGN OBSERVATIONS

♂ Pisces Mars - I think Lennie Small from “Of Mice and Men,” would have this placement. This is a person who is seemingly harmless, and yet they still managed to cause harm and destruction through indirect action. When looking at someone with a Pisces Mars, their innocence and an assumed lack of strength is noticed first. These are kind people. They would rather harm themselves over another person. Their first instinct isn’t to attack, but to defend. When angry, they appear to be caught up within a panic. A Pisces Mars is driven by their big dreams. They might not always know what they want out of life, and their goals and ambitions may change frequently. This does not mean that they are incapable of finding success. If anything, their unwavering belief in themselves and their ability to achieve the impossible is what takes them to great heights. Hope is everything for someone with this placement, it’s what gets them out of bed in the morning. 

♂ Aquarius Mars - It's hard to pin someone with this placement down. Their actions don’t make sense to other people. Aquarius does a good job showing its eccentricity through Mars. The rules of society and the opinions of others do not dictate their actions. These types are constantly surprising people, and they like this. The public will often speculate about those with an Aquarius Mars. Theories are formed about them, no one can guess what they’re going to do next. In my opinion, this is the most rebellious Aquarius placement. They live their life in a manner that is truly unconventional. People with this placement are not aggressive, but they are clever. They like outsmarting people. A sense of superiority can sometimes act as a driving force. They go out of their way to make the people around them feel stupid if they’re in a foul mood. Their need for independence will never be forsaken. 

♂ Capricorn Mars - Hard work doesn’t scare these people off. They’ll put in whatever energy is needed to complete a project or endeavor. A strong sense of ambition and an excellent sense of focus are traits commonly seen with this placement. They’re quite secure in themselves and exercise self control through all their actions. Discipline motivates them. They take their responsibilities seriously and expect others to do the same. A Capricorn Mars goes above and beyond what is expected of them. They do this through a step-by-step process and practical planning. Cutting corners or taking the easy way out is something you’d never catch them doing. These types want to maintain control over every aspect of their life. They become angry when plans are thrown into a disarray through unexpected events. “Going with the flow,” is not a strong suit of theirs. Their need for security is what motivates them. 

♂ Sagittarius Mars - People with this placement are incredibly restless. They lack patience and need many different outlets to pour their energy into. They are easy going but are also quickly overtaken by passion. Crossing their moral beliefs is a good way to get them riled up. They like to believe that their opinions are more intellectual than they are emotional. When angry they like to get up on a soap box to lecture people. When people don’t agree with them, it can sometimes feel like criticism. They also don’t consider how their tendency to dish out brutal honesty may actually be more hurtful than it is impactful. They often act as a spark that ignites fire, in both a positive and a negative way.

♂ Scorpio Mars - The definition of “moving in silence.” Lots of people claim to do this, but a Scorpio Mars wouldn’t be caught making such a claim. They’re smarter than that. They know that hardship and struggle are inevitable. This does not scare them, but they also don’t fight against the natural currents of life. During certain points, their sense of ambition is so relentless that it becomes obsessive. But, this can only last so long. Rest and recuperation is a process they embrace. After acting on an immense level of concentration for a long period of time, they will need to take a step back to reassess goals. Rather than just accepting things for the way they are, a Scorpio Mars would rather make changes. If they feel that a path is ill-suited for them, they’re not afraid to change directions. Starting from zero is not discouraging and it is something that motivates these types. They have the power to turn nothing into something great. 

♂ Libra Mars - Mars is uncomfortable being in Libra. People with this placement often struggle with taking action and are as indecisive as they come. They get caught up in what's fair and what isn’t. They have a strong need to strike equality and want every situation to be as balanced as possible. Some might be surprised to know that the ultimate desire for these types is to garner a sense of peace. They might unintentionally stir the pot through their inability to take a strong stance on something. They want to weigh all the options possible and can become stressed trying to do so. Being passive-aggressive is also something that's frequently seen with this placement. These types think they’re being nice when in reality they’re making people uncomfortable through their fear of being direct. They’re sneaky when faced with conflict but also good at leading people into a resolution. 

[aeoris4lovers]

when caleb is talking to the nein about his past before the dinner with trent, he tells them that in the time he spent under trent, astrid and wulf never wavered in their dedication or willingness. after rereading his origins comic, though, i think he’s wrong. i think there was a pretty significant period of time where eadwulf specifically was having doubts about what they were doing right in front of his eyes.

exhibit a: the bodies

this is the most subtle example of it, but it’s also the earliest and probably represents the very beginnings of whatever doubts were brewing in wulf’s mind.

in both of these instances, there’s a dead or unconscious body on the ground, and wulf is staring at it while bren talks to trent. it’s hard to tell where he’s looking in the second one, but a later frame makes it clear that he’s looking in the direction of a body.

in the first one particularly, he looks to me like he’s visibly upset — his face isn’t as stoic as the others, and his body language looks uncertain, not his usual crossed-arm stance.

these were the moments that first caught my eye. they brought up questions in my mind: what is he thinking? what’s going through his head as he looks at the people they just hurt?

exhibit b: the bath scene

this comes immediately after the second body, and is what confirmed in my mind that wulf definitely isn’t entirely on board with the things they’re being told to do.

he closes the door behind them and just stands with his fist against it. none of them look happy by any means, but it’s clear that he’s upset to a point where even bren and astrid, in the midst of their own feelings, look concerned and go to comfort him.

bren in particular takes a long moment with him before the two of them rejoin astrid. i’ll get into why that — and bren’s role in general — is significant in a moment.

exhibit c: the morning after

this is the most important point in all of this, and the significance of his reaction here really can’t be understated.

in this moment, trent has just drawn their attention to their “memories” of their parents defying the empire. these are, from their point of view, very real and undeniable memories. and yet, the reaction we see here from wulf is one of explicit and absolute rejection.

and he’s not just denying what trent wants him to believe — he’s angry. he’s standing up and slamming a hand on table and raising his voice. doubt has been simmering under the surface in him for a while now, and this is the moment that trent crosses a line. trent has presented something truly unthinkable to him and despite his own memories supporting it, he absolutely cannot believe it. on a very visceral level, he knows it can’t be right.

this moment is significant not only because it confirms beyond a shadow of a doubt that wulf is not completely sure of what they’re doing, but also because we literally never see another student of trent openly defy him like this, nor do we see any volstrucker do so.

let me repeat that: until caleb goes up against him with the nein, eadwulf is the only person we ever see look trent in the eye and say “you’re wrong.” even after all of campaign two, we never see someone actively working under him defy him that explicitly — it’s only caleb, who escaped his control, or people like the nein with no real connection to him. even when astrid acts against him, she does it very quietly and is clearly terrified of those actions being alluded to at the dinner. wulf is the only one we ever see who, while at trent’s mercy, dares to openly and completely reject him.

bringing his family into it was a step too far. at this point, wulf isn’t just struggling with what they’re being told — he’s absolutely not having it anymore.

so what gives?

we know that he ultimately believes trent enough to kill his parents, and is even the first of the three to do it, so how do we get to that level of agreement from such a powerful moment of anger and denial?

that’s where bren comes in.

looking back at that breakfast scene, we can also see how the other two react to their own memories coming to light.

astrid’s is one of betrayal. she’s confused and struggling to understand why they would do it, but she doesn’t deny it either.

bren’s, on the other hand, is one of defeat. he’s clearly upset, but he’s simultaneously totally certain that what they’re remembering is true. and of course he is — his memory has been impeccable his entire life. why would he start to question it now, even if he doesn’t want to believe what it’s telling him?

bottom line: while astrid clearly also struggles with it and may have her own doubts, though not as strong as wulf’s, bren takes it all in stride and never wavers.

and if there’s one thing we know about wulf, it’s that he trusts his people. throughout his scenes in campaign two, we see him looking to astrid for signs of what to do or say and deferring to her when he’s overwhelmed by or unsure of the situation at hand. when caleb takes his hand at the blooming grove, he follows, and when astrid takes his hand and leads him away, he follows her. where they go, he follows. he trusts them implicitly and he looks to them when he doesn’t know what the right call is.

so what is he going to do in that moment, when his own mind is telling him something that he absolutely can’t believe and he doesn’t know how to reconcile it? he looks to them for guidance.

astrid clearly isn’t in a place to offer much, and hasn’t been. she’s not as lost in doubt as he is, but she’s not certain enough to reassure him either. we can already see that in the bath scene — remember when i said it was significant that bren is the one to stay with wulf while astrid goes off on her own? she wants to comfort him and tries to because she cares about him, but it seems that her conviction isn’t quite strong enough to be a steady base for someone else. and in the breakfast scene, we see that again, with her not openly going against it but still struggling with it in a way bren doesn’t.

bren, on the other hand, is consistently certain that they’re doing the right thing, even when it feels bad. caleb says as much himself when he first tells beau and nott his story: “i was so sure, i was so sure, until i wasn’t.” hearing his parents scream as they die is genuinely the first time he ever has doubts. until that moment, he’s sure. he trusts his mind and he trusts trent and he believes in their cause.

so when he sees wulf struggling with it, what does he do? he offers that certainty, reminds him of why they’re doing what they do, assures him that they’re doing the right thing and he doesn’t have to feel guilty. he’s their rock, the one wulf and astrid can trust to be sure even when their faith is shaken.

and that’s exactly what i think happens in the time between that breakfast and the night they kill their parents: bren sees wulf angry and totally lost trying to make sense of the massive gulf between what he remembers and what he knows to be true, he sees astrid confused and not able to put the pieces together, and he reassures them because he trusts his mind and so do they and he doesn’t want to see them struggle.

and i think astrid needs less convincing, but once she’s sure too and it’s only wulf that can’t accept it, that’s when he starts to think that maybe the unthinkable could really be true. bren is certain of what he remembers and astrid is certain that bren is right, so how can wulf, who trusts and relies on them so much for guidance, not at least entertain the idea that his parents really are traitors? how can he deny it and, in doing so, deny them?

that’s how he can ultimately go and do what he’s told, with such a stern and certain look on his face as he does. because his people were sure that it was the right thing to do, and no matter how strongly he feels that something must be wrong, he trusts them even more than he trusts himself.

that’s not to say that his doubts are completely quelled, though, because there’s still more of this thread that we can follow.

exhibit d: the aftermath

wulf’s move to knock bren out and save astrid is a quick and decisive one in the moment, but it’s clear that he isn’t at all sure if he did the right thing. he talks to trent — explaining himself, maybe even apologizing because he thinks he was wrong — and trent has to stop him and say that no, he was right.

this is significant for two reasons. the first and more obvious of the two is that this shows he’s still in a headspace of questioning what he’s doing almost immediately after doing it. that doubt was quelled long enough to allow him to complete the “exercise”, but not by any means gone for good.

the second, which i think is the most important to the person he ultimately becomes, is that this is the first time he’s had to look to trent for reassurance.

before this moment, it’s bren and astrid who comfort and reassure him. but now, bren is lost to them and astrid is in no shape to offer any comfort, much less give him the reassurance bren might have. and she might not want to do so even if she could — she wanted to save bren, not leave him behind, and may very well be angry at wulf for the choice he made. so what choice does he have, with neither of them able to support him, but to look to his mentor for reassurance?

and what happens once he gets that reassurance from trent? before, he doubted trent and even openly defied him, but can he continue to do that now?

if he wants to be able to live with himself after, to live with the choice he made and sleep at night, he has to believe that the reassurance trent offered him that night was right — he has to believe that trent’s judgment is right. if trent is lying or just wrong, that means he did the wrong thing that night, and where can he go from there?

that night is a turning point for wulf not just because he took his parents out of the picture, but because he made a decision that ended up forcing him to trust trent to an extent that he really didn’t before.

the new eadwulf

the wulf that we meet in campaign two as an adult is a far cry from the wulf who stood up at that table and said “no, they would never.” he comes across as largely apathetic to and even comfortable with the things they do — it’s just a job for him, not something to overthink or get hung up on. as far as he’s concerned, the lives they take are unfortunate but still necessary sacrifices, just like trent always said.

and if you ask me, his journey to becoming that person, to the doubt and the fire in him being all but completely stomped out, starts with the night he was forced to give up his one source of constant reassurance and finally put his trust in trent instead. everything we see him do to separate himself from his actions, from his belief in fate and his “good soldier” attitude to the drink he has ready after spending time with trent, stems from that moment. he is the way he is when we meet him not because he simply doesn’t care, but because he can no longer afford to.

caleb says they never wavered while he was with them, but i think it’s only because his vision was clouded by his own certainty that he never saw it. he just couldn’t believe that they might not believe in their cause as much as he did because it seemed so right to him, and how could he believe that the people he loved would doubt something so important?

but they did doubt it, especially wulf, and even as an adult, little bits of that stick around in him — he immediately gravitates toward caduceus after caduceus stands up to trent, and as soon as trent isn’t a threat anymore, he’s perfectly content to just stay with caleb (and probably would have if astrid hadn’t pulled him away when she did).

i think, if bren hadn’t been selected for the volstrucker program or just hadn’t been as confident as he was in all of it, it may very well have been eadwulf who found himself standing against trent in the end.

[bellestarot]

Changbin's Reading

October 13, 2024

Right Now

He's planning something around the number 4. It could be the 4th day, the 4th month of next year, something linked to the number 4, and he's really involved in it. He's been super active, giving his opinions on the issues he's working on for this project, though I don't know exactly what it is. He's in a really good place with his self-esteem right now. He's loving himself more. I think in the past he struggled with self-acceptance, but now he's going through a phase of loving being in his own skin and truly valuing himself.

And that's opening doors for possible romantic interests in his life.

But he's been feeling really tired. He's working a lot and hasn't had much time to enjoy life. So, he really wants to take some time to relax a bit.

Love Life

He's involved with more than one person, and he doesn’t really feel like committing emotionally to anyone. It’s more physical for him, and he really likes being in control of things, including his own emotions. He tends to approach things logically and talks things through. He’s not just seeing one person. I feel like there are probably two or three people he’s been seeing more frequently.

It seems very casual, and one of the people he's involved with might also work in his field, maybe in entertainment. It could also be someone he’s known for a long time. He’s been feeling a bit confused about some of these relationships because, even though they’re casual, he feels strong connections with a few of them.

Career

I think he's doing a great job, traveling the world, but he’s very protective of his privacy. He doesn’t like people digging into his personal life or asking about certain private things, and something has been really hurting him lately. It's left him feeling anxious because one of the people he's involved with is someone he could see himself having something serious with someday—maybe even getting into a relationship or getting married.

But he realizes that for that to happen, it would be really difficult. The biggest obstacle is his fame, and he’s sure that this person wouldn’t be well-received by his fans. He knows the fans would judge the relationship, and it would probably end because of that. This has been on his mind a lot recently because he wants something serious one day, but he sees that where he is now, it’s hard to make that a reality.

Family

He cares a lot about his family and has so much love for them, but they tend to be very judgmental. They might hold very conservative views and are harshly critical of other ways of thinking and acting.

There’s a young girl in his family who’s been suffering a lot because of their judgment. He’s been really worried about her because the criticism has been so intense that it’s caused her to isolate herself, and most of the family is against her. This situation has been stressing him out a lot, and he’s really concerned about her.

Friendships

He has a lot of friends he can rely on, and there’s a woman he’s very close to, someone he really values and protects his friendship with. However, he’s been feeling quite cautious about another friend from work.

This person is impulsive and has certain behaviors or maybe even habits or addictions that he strongly disagrees with. Because of this, he’s taken a step back from their connection, as he feels it’s something he can’t support or accept.

Future

He’s going to move away from being so logical and overly cautious with his words and actions. He’ll feel more confident to just be himself, and I think soon he’ll show people who he truly is at his core. I believe this might become the best phase of his life because he’s going to fully love himself.

He’ll also recognize his flaws and handle them with ease and a light-hearted attitude, which is a big shift. His self-esteem, which has been a major challenge for him, is going to improve. I see him really valuing himself in all aspects.

He’s going to be working on a new project with different people, and he’ll feel really excited and curious about what others will think. He won’t be afraid of the outcome—he’ll feel light and energized, enjoying the process and doing what he loves. He’ll also be more in touch with his emotions, even though he’s usually more in his head. He gives off earth sign vibes rather than fire sign, but he’ll start connecting more with his feelings.

[whelmandromeda]

Very big rant about the redacted storyline being misunderstood

saw a tiktok of someone complaining about the timeline “handing out answers and spoiling everything”. Though I had read every event of the timeline, I have yet to come across information I had not already known about. (Excluding the very interesting information about how the Solaire clan came to be) I am becoming frustrated with people on tiktok not considering the context and complicity of the storyline. Considering the timeline, Erik had said that these weren’t spoilers about things to come but confirmations.

I saw another tiktok disregarding the importance of the Inversion; saying that the only purpose it served was to traumatize the characters (—I do recall in their previous tiktoks that they were not interested in the “lore” side of things. Which is ok! But I wouldn’t recommend talking about it in such little consideration or knowledge.) I believe that the Inversion served many purposes and will most likely be a opening for bigger things to come.

Additionally, the recent Bowling video, which has already been discussed. People over on tiktok are taking the DAMN relationship out of complete context without mentioning previous discussion of said relationship. This is specifically towards Lasko and Gavin’s relationship. Not only had freelancer allowed the flirting to continue, they also joined in on the teasing. Freelancer’s dynamic with the elementals is also not being considered. It was mentioned in earlier videos (and implied) that freelancer is quiet and a person who listens more than talks. Freelancer was probably sitting back and enjoying their closest friends getting along. That’s it.

But I guess since every character can be a self insert, every insecurity, opinion and action must reflect onto the listener—and if they do not think, say, or do the same thing you would do in a specific situation, then something is clearly wrong with the character and not the person inserting themselves onto the listener/s. Are people forgetting that this is Erik’s story and not yours? That, yes, the listeners can be self-inserts, but they are still Erik’s characters.

I want to mention another post on redacted tiktok that believes that the listener characters choosing ���peace” instead of “violence” was lazy writing. They were specifically calling out the Android and Freelancer. The android could choose what to do about Marcus after they were aware of what he was doing to them. The person on tiktok was upset the android did not choose to kill or harm Marcus. If they truly knew anything about the Project Meridian, they would know that it’s a project that is under the control of the GOVERNMENT. Plus, it’s implied that the Android does feel sympathy and probably knows that taking a life is against the law.

Now the freelancer argument; they are upset because freelancer didn’t want Damien to beat the shit out of Kody. Knowing freelancer, they’re whole character and storyline revolves around them being sympathetic and kind. I don’t even have to give examples of the times where freelancer considers their friend’s problems above their own. I know that Kody is very far from a friend and I am not trying to imply that Kody doesn’t deserve a harsh punishment. But, if the person who was complaining about the writing was in charge of the characters actions, I would complain that freelancer encouraging Damien to deck Kody would be out of the character entirely.

If anyone would like to tell me off for being ignorant and rude then I will gladly allow myself to be humbled. Maybe I am being overly passionate and defensive.

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

Hey! I'm sooooo happy to finally find another person that ships Scarecrow and Batman! This is ship is so underrated and it deserves MUCH more recognition 👏☺️ Also, I love your art and analysis of these characters!

I don't know if you've answered this before, but what do you think about the Arkhamverse version of them? I would prefer Arkham Knight, but if you feel uncomfortable with it, Arkham Asylum is fine (I love both). I don't know what to think of it at the moment and I'm trying to form an opinion!

I hope you have an amazing day!! ❤️❤️

Can I be 🐓 anon if you allow anons?

hello there!! i’m also happy to meet another fellow-minded scarebat believer out there! scarebat is just such a fascinating ship. i’m honestly go uwu when i see other people enjoying it too! this pair indeed deserve more recognition an’ love! an’ aw, heck, thank you! it makes me blush knowing that someone can have fun with those lil, whimsical things i do! 

an’ oh, nope. i didn’t answer this one! arkhamverse’s content is smth that i see circulating around a lot, but i didn’t see much content for that version of scarebat. i guess, the constant choking, an’ ‘get on your knees now, crane’ wasn’t enough to awaken smth in anyone *besides me an’ 2-3 other fine wine enjoyers*. which is once again too bad, bc even design wise, they’re kinda a banger in their own right. whichever version we take, it’s just a good contrast between batman’s heavy armour an’ jon’s typical rags *with some cyber-punk touch later on*. like, while i’m a simple gal who tends to simp for ‘classic’ outlooks, i do appreciate what the game did. gotta love crane’s freddy krueger syringe glove, an’ how he got it embedded into bruce’s neck an’ chest, an’ then got stabbed with it himself lol. there is a lot of homoerotic stuff, which can be done with it! esp bc it’s such a close range weapon, an’ each version of akrham’s crane used it differently. in arkham asylum, he injected the poison into bruce’s arm. the desperate, angry action kinda reminded me of a pissy, bristling animal, that would bite your hand, when if you try to grab it. in the next game, jon was way more vicious, less of a thrashing opossum that you find in your garage an’ more of a snake, that you accidentally step on, while you climbing down your porch. the vast difference between his mental states then an’ later on is an interesting theme for speculations. esp bc bruce is also worse to wear in the next game. in fact, i’d say that arkham knight sorta depicts them at their subjective ‘worst’ almost. an’ it says smth, bc i don’t think that either of them are ever in good mental place. 

i kinda find it interesting how some people would assume, that if person acts cold an’ detached, it means that they’re ‘in control’, when sometimes, it’s the opposite. in bruce’s case for sure. but i’d like this for some versions of crane as well, bc it suits his psychotype as well. not to mention, that jon’s hygiene in arkham knight is at its lowest too, which says a few things about his mental state right off the bat. or how he didn’t seem to properly treat his own wounds, just instantly throwing himself into his biggest scheme. a man truly possessed by revenge. 

but welp, if we go into specifics of each separate version of arkhamverse, i guess, i will start with arkham asylum! my memories about those games are a bit rusty, but i’ll go with what i remember. providing more emphasis on arkham knight, since they do have more going on an’ you seem more interested in that specific version too! 

still, first things first, i love how jonathan was half-naked during the first game lol. it’s just so funny to me, bc he is usually covered from head to toe, but in there, he was shirtless, wearing pants that held for dear life on those skinny hips an’ i’ll bet dude had nothing underneath them either. he’s never was the most proper person, admittingly, but idk, running around the dirty asylum an’ hunting your enemy while showing off your nips an’ stomach is…smth else. esp for a prude like crane. but i guess, at that point of time, he seemed to be so deranged, that his usual body issues no longer worried him. besides, poison ivy walked around in her underwear an’ blouse that was held together by one durable button, why can’t he do the same? it’s not like batman would comment on it, even if he wanted to. but like, honestly, all the hints of possible spooky + sexy times were there, so it’s a shocker, that no one has done anything about it yet. i mean, you literally have jonathan, who was flashing the bat for 20 minutes straight, an’ it’s not smth that the majority of cranes would ever have the guts to do in any other set-up. btas an’ comicverse ones would downright combust, before they’d be walking around batman shirtless. but not that gremlin. he was all about it. even if i do think, that he wasn't fully aware about what it means, an’ that it’s kinda embarrassing to do smth like that, while you are trying to be intimidating. he’s not bane. it’s not like he has some crazy muscular mass to show off. but it is very stimulating to think about the ways it all can be used in. the cold bat’s armour to exposed skin of a spooky toothpick. batman grips scarecrow’s clothes, when they fight. in there, it’ll be almost all naked skin. that’s a sexy imagery to have! 

as for the substance of the arkham asylum on itself, i don’t think that scarecrow was in there a lot. but then again, maybe i just remember it this way. it is however curious how fast crane goes from campy looney to more serious, jarred person, we see in the next game. an’ his whole motivation shifts from ‘you’re just like us and have fears’ to ‘there is no saviour. no hope’. almost like he was very, very let down, when batman failed to save him that one time lol. but considering that arkhamverse kept jonathan’s comic origin, it’s safe to assume that yeah, he took that very-very personally. he isn’t the joker, who kinda never brings up how many times, batman casually let him ‘die’. the btas alone has like 3 occasions like that lmao. meanwhile, jon went into a scornful cold rage, after just one epic fail, which, at the end of the day, is very him lol. the drugged up bat didn’t save him, that’s it. no one’s supremacy, fuck gotham. an’ i’m only partly jeering here. 

which leads us straight to to arkham knight version, an’ to bruce instantly going up there an’ choking the living hell out of jon, the second he sees him. what a reunion! esp with that whole head hitting an’ throwing crane onto floor, like a ragdoll. batman just had to assert his dominance, even when jonathan barely opened his mouth. *bc yeah, you stay down, bottom*. i like how crane tried his hardest to be serious an’ imposing during that whole deal, but the bat just wasn't super amused. yet, like usual, he did give the scarecrow room to speak later on. allowing him to walk around him. an’ boy, gotta appreciate that ‘bad guy's sly hips play’ as scarecrow circled the bat. it was quite a vision. even with fucked up leg, he managed to pull that off. i wish there were more moments like this. they had a lot of potential for more brutal scarebat interactions, than some other versions of them. all the cues for it were there. batman was hallucinating a ghost of a dead clown, who wouldn’t shut up about whatever, an’ jonathan was all about his ‘end goal’, not caring what he had to do to get to it. what an explosive combo. i was low-key surprised, that bruce didn’t wipe the floor with crane just out of pure frustration, an’ then some. an’ considering how fucked up they both are in that version, it wouldn’t put it past the ghost!joker to suggest they’d do smth else with crane, if batman is unwilling to kill him. there is actually a lot of leeway, with bruce blaming some stuff on his personal brain damage, while joker just keeps on pouring gasoline into the fire. i even had this one idea about the joker playing a horrible matchmaker just to make everyone even more miserable, but mostly just bruce. all while not expecting crane to be able to return the sentiment in his own messed up manner. 

an’ speaking of sentiment, i do think that it can be here as well. it’ll be buried under layers an’ layers of pseudo-resentment, but that’s like typical scarebat. no one ever talk about their real emotions in that ship lol. well, not in a normal way. in arkham knight, i suppose the joker can be a narrator of bruce an’ crane’s relationships. not missing a beat to tell them *well, bruce* how much they suck. an’ he won’t even be wrong, batman abandoning some of his duties, bc well, this. an’ crane as per usual getting confused by feelings, that isn’t hatred or fear. they can enter those intense relationships with the worst kind of miscommunication. bc they awful at it, when they’re not super unstable *or at least one of them isn’t*, an’ now they can be godawful at it, bc batman is close to breaking point, an’ jonathan is at his bitterests an’ pettiest. crane also can assume, that he can ‘unmade’ the bat this way, all while messing up his own scheme in the process. with god’s help, they might even survive this. idk about gotham tho lol. the joker being a third wheel an’ technically a cuck in that situation just adds how messed up it all is. but maybe with jon’s ‘help’, they can deal with that problem too. i don’t think, crane would like to share in any way. i mean, he would have been pissed off, if he learned that batman had a mini-devil on his shoulder the whole time. in a way, it kinda defeats the purpose of it all. it would almost like taking all the credit from him, an’ he won’t stand for it. crane combating bruce’s personal ghosts for his own selfish, possessive needs is smth, i would have liked to see for them. jonathan accidently being a good psychiatrist to bruce is my peak scarebat dark comedy. similar to how in ‘kings of fear’, it was basically ‘i can fix him, but bitch, you’re worse’ kind of deal too. in return, bruce can try an’ help crane actually put some proper garnet for his leg on, an�� look a bit less like a sickly *even if scary-spooky-cool* animal. they can find some middle ground, even if for questionable reasons, or they can have that slow-burn from enemies to lovers thing too. heck, i mean, it’s a wonder how come that scarecrow didn’t kidnap bruce first to try an’ break him a tad more, before making gotham see ‘that they had no hope’ an’ all that. 

on less game plot related notes, i do like to play around with what can be done about jon’s state in arkham knight. like his face being all messed up, half of his body moving way more stiffly, there are a lot of things that can be done with it. an’ the parallel of batman being crippled on the inside an’ crane being pretty much this an’ then also damaged outside of it….mmm, that’s just good. also we all know that nolanverse crane moaned ‘batman’ like a whore while his hair were pulled, but what about arkham knight’s scarecrow lil gay gasps an’ whimpers, when bruce held him by the throat an’ injected him with his own toxin? if gordon an’ jason weren’t there, i wonder what might have happened lol. love scarecrow’s scared expressions in that game btw, somehow they still manage to make him look cute. 

an’ now for a bit of nitpicky bit. when i look back at arkham knight, like some other folks, i do wish there was less…joker in it. he did add some fun elements there or here, but he should have been a background segment tbh. i really wanted to see more of mindbending stuff similar to level in arkham asylum. batman ‘given into’ hallucination joker’s cheers to kill crane, even if it was all a mindfuck bit was tasteless for me. if they wanna make bruce kinda walk that route, i’d rather see him doing it by his own misgivings an’ rage. tho, i do give credit where it’s duo, crane saying ‘you’ve changed’ an’ not sounding esp thrilled about it was curious smth. 

but omg, that’s got long, haha. hope, it’s not too troublesome. i’m kinda chatty an’ rambly kind of person, esp when i talk about things i love. can’t talk short in most cases. 

thank you for the ask btw! i do enjoy talking about scarebat a lot, no matter what version. an’ i hope, that your day is going great as well! i do apologise for how late some of my responses are coming through. i tend to pick at questions for a couple of days or so, just to make sure that i kinda give it my utmost thoughts, haha. hopefully, my answer helped you to form your own vision on the matter better or gave you an idea how different / similar you see smth, when it comes to those two. 

an’ sure thing! that’s a cute symbole btw!

[niconebula]

Luz’s subconscious has turned her into her worst nightmare - being Belos. In her dream, she’s living out her guilt in a sick and twisted kind of catharsis.

She plays the villain here because she feels like she has been playing the role of the villain in her friends and family’s lives, causing problems and making mistakes that lead to disaster. She has a self destructive nature which was on full display in Thanks to Them - her outbursts and computer diary piling on subtext of her suicidality.

Considering she is ‘Belos’ (subconscious dream language: she has been a drain on her friends’ lives and does not deserve to live), her manifestations of her friends inside this world come to finish the job and kill her - which she believes somewhere in her heart to be necessary. You can see Luz’s boot in the foreground. They’re certainly squaring off against HER here, not another figure.

When the Collector suddenly takes hold and pulls them back away in this scene (perhaps because he knows they have the key) you can see their eyes are dull - actions being controlled by someone who is most likely actually Luz. Their outfits are mismatched, another indicator of it not truly being ‘them’, coming from random points within their own journeys that Luz’s brain has pulled to manifest into her dream world. But curiously enough; it seems like Amity breaks through the spell for a moment with the knowledge they’ve acquired about the light glyph and it’s counter affects on the Collector’s magic.

Her eyes have the shine back in them, and even while being attached to the Collector’s ribbons, she crosses the illusion and has a real honest conversation with Luz.

We can’t be sure how long this lasts though. While this screenshot certainly could be from another wholly separate sequence and I’m more spitballing than forming a solid theory here, the way their forms are twisted into spiky monstrous versions of themselves does lead one to believe that these are also distorted dream versions of Eda and King also attacking Luz.

King is visibly crying, as well as Eda less visibly. Their eyes are glowing in accordance to the colours of the orbs they were placed in, an ability never before seen that leads me to believe they are being controlled by the Collector this time - keeper of the orbs.

The Collector wants to finish Luz’s original dream with her being killed off by her friends - I’m assuming this wouldn’t kill her body in reality but more so permanently trap her in a feverish paralyzed state where she feels like she’s constantly reliving the moment over and over again. Maybe that’s worse.

However at this point, Amity was able to break through and get to Luz to snap her out of the mindset. Luz’s subconscious has shifted again and no longer is forcing her loved ones to fight her. But the Collector needs this to end; so they bring in Eda and King, and have to personally control them to fight and attempt to kill Luz. Hence the crying - something that also happened to Raine while they were forcibly possessed by Belos.

[the-muppet-joker]

I believe you when you say you went through all of those traumatic things, but coming from one person who is based off of a fictional character to another you shouldn’t be lashing out on others like you are. I know how that feels, I’ve been there. It makes you feel powerful and in control of everyone and everything around you, but one of these days those actions are going to cause yourself to get hurt and you’re going to find yourself with everyone hating you and no one willing to love you.

I was violent, lashing out on everyone around me, and in my memories it even caused me to kill my brother. It wasn’t until years after that that I started to stop myself from lashing out on everyone and everything around me, and as a result instead of being filled with constant hatred I found myself being happier.

As one person based off of a character to another, what you need is to seek out a therapist. I promise that they’re not all like how you remember Harley and the doctors in Arkham. You’ll find one that will be able to help you cope with your trauma. If you’re worried about the therapist being a woman, there should be therapist offices out there that let you select what gender you feel most comfortable around and will assign you one according to that.

At least you take kin memories seriously.

To be clear though, while my childhood was filled with the strife of being loved less than horses, I have not been trauamtized by women, I just think they are annoying. There was only one woman in my polycule, and she was not the one who shattered my heart into a thousand pieces.

Therapists do not take my kin memories seriously. Nor do they ever truly believe that I am who I claim to be (Kermit the Frog and The Joker). None of them could even begin to unpack my twisted mind...

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Azusa Dark [10]

ー The scene starts in the Big Hall at Eden

Yui: ( We’ve all gathered here in the hall after Kou-kun went to get the remaining two but... )

Kanato: ...

Azusa: Ugh...

Yui: ( Kanato-kun looks ready to jump down Azusa-kun’s throat...Will this end well...? )

Yuma: ...Che.

Kou: Hey, Ruki-kun...

Ruki: Kou, Yuma. Try to keep yourself under control.

Right now, we need to hear why they came here first and foremost.

Kou: ...Yeah.

Ruki: Sakamaki Reiji. Can I count on you for that?

Reiji: ...I know, no need to tell me.

Monologue

Amidst the heavy atmosphere,

Reiji-san began to speak.

According to his explanation,

the Vibora King came to file a complaint to Kanato-kun, the Vampire King,

and the reason behind this is Azusa-kun.

So they had decided to come all the way here,

because they want us,

to deal with this matter.

However, all of us were very doubtful,

when we were told what exactly,

what Azusa-kun was being accused of doing.

‘ーー The Vampire in question turned the tables

on the Vibora who attacked him,

fatally wounding them.’

Because that is what,

Reiji-san told us.

Reiji: ...In other words, we are being highly troubled by what Azusa did the other day.

How do you intend to do take responsiblity for this case?

Azusa: Y-You’ve got it wrong...!

It’s true that I entered the Vibora Clan’s territory but...

However, I didn’t use any weapons. I didn’t turn the tables on them...!

Kanato: Save me your excuses. They’ve told us that it is very clear that it was a Vampire who did it, you see?

Azusa: No way...

Yui: ( I can’t imagine that Azusa-kun would murder any Vibora. )

( I’m sure Kou-kun and Yuma-kun would say the same thing if they hadn’t been told to keep quiet... )

( I should step up... )

Selection

→ Attack Kanato-kun

Yui: How could you, Kanato-kun...! Can’t you try and have some faith in his words...?

Kanato: ...Me? Have faith in Azusa? Fufu, please don’t say such ridiculous things.

→ Defend Azusa-kun (❦)

Yui: Azusa-kun would no longer harm anyone...!

There’s just no way that a gentle person such as himself would kill people from the Vibora Clan...!

Azusa: Eve...

Kanato: We are certain that Azusa trespassed Vibora territory on that day.

If you want to prove your innonence, then show us some concrete evidence that you’re not the culprit.

Yui: W-Well...

( Evidence that he isn’t the culprit...How are we supposed to prove that...? )

Azusa: Ah...!

Now that you mention it, I...while I was running away from the Vibora, I did run into another Vampire...

Yui: Eh? Really?

Azusa: Yeah...I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone because I didn’t deem it important but...

I’m pretty sure he called himself Kino...

That guy...he was covered in other people’s blood and he had a bunch of Ghoul comrades with him...

...So I’m pretty sure they’re the ones who...

Yui: I see...

Hey, Kanato-kun. That means Azusa-kun no longer has to take the blame for what happened, right?

Kanato: ...Haah? Please don’t be silly.

None of what you just said truly matters in this case;

I mean, it could all be lies made up by Azusa himself, no?

Yui: No way! Azusa-kun isn’t the type of guy who’d lーー

Kanato: Shut up! The Vibora Clan could come to attack this place at any given moment, you know!?

I don’t have the time to look into some random guy who’ve I’ve never even heard of!

Yui: Ugh...

Reiji: ...Kanato is right.

The Vibora Clan has made it very clear that they will use this case to justify declaring war against us.

So you have no other choice but to take your responsibility.

Azusa: T-Then...How about I go talk to the Vibora King and lift the misunderstanding...?

Ruki: ...No, I doubt it’ll be that easy.

Even if you were telling the truth just now, we can’t be sure whether or not Zweig will believe it...

Azusa: Right...

Yui: ( What should we do? How can we make them understand that Azusa-kun isn’t at fault here...? )

Kanato: You really caused us a lot of trouble. I’ve been through hell and back as a result of your actions!

It’s all your fault, Azusa! So you solve it now!

ー Kanato walks away

Reiji: Kanato! Wait!

*Thud*

Reiji: ...Good grief.

ー Reiji follows after him

Azusa: ...Ah...

I’m so sorry, guys...It’s my fault...

Kou: It’s not, Azusa-kun. I mean, you truly haven’t done it, right?

Yuma: He’s just runnin’ his damn mouth ‘cause he doesn’t want to take responsibility himself. Right, Ruki?

Ruki: Yes. Don’t let it get to you. You just happened to become the trigger of this conflict.

There have been rumors of the Vibora Clan wanting to take a shot at gaining control over the Demon World for a while. I’m pretty sure they would have used anything as an excuse.

Azusa: ...

Yui: ( Azusa-kun... )

Monologue

I couldn’t bring myself to reach out,

to Azusa-kun in his depressed state. 

I wonder why it had to come to this? 

It was our intention,

to help Azusa-kun gain some confidence (自身) in himself,

and have things go into a positive direction from there.

But as a result (結果), 

we ended up making Azusa-kun suffer even more.

I was overcome by a flurry of strong feelings,

making my chest tighten up. 

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[bluemooniegif]

**Spoilers for BSD manga through chapter 109**

I wanted to ask for your thoughts on the roles of Aya and Sigma in BSD, particularly the significance their arcs hold in light of certain themes present in recent chapters.

During the Sky Casino Arc, Dostoevsky justifies his decision to assign Sigma to the Sky Casino by citing two criteria determining Sigma’s strength: deprivation and desperation.

“The strongest in the world…is one who holds nothing else.”

“You won’t find a scarier thing in the world than an ordinary person when they’re desperate.”

Sigma and Aya both seem to embody these qualities in different ways, simultaneously serving as compelling parallels to one another. Each grapples with their own sense of perceived deprivation—Sigma of a family and Aya of freedom from misogynistic expectations—and as a result feels a desperation to prove their right to exist outside of their current state.

Not only this, but in chapter 77 as the limitations of the Page begin to break, Dazai adds to Fyodor’s earlier commentary on strength:

“[Happenstance and absurdity] is a weakness shared by the two of us. What’s driving the world [rather than ingenious plans or perfection and harmony] are those in the storm of accidental events who scream, run, and spill blood. Faced with their souls, you and I should be petrified with fear.”

Jouno echoes this sentiment in chapter 94 when he decides the most effective means of opposing Fukuchi:

“Who would you suspect the least, Commander? And who would give you the most trouble? The Vice-Commander? Tetchou-san? No. If anyone will pain you, Commander, it won’t be through strength or smarts. They’ll be a weak, clueless, innocent citizen who happened to be there.”

This shared perspective seems to directly contrast the approaches Fukuchi and Fyodor take in order to realize desired outcomes.

Rather than advocating total control as a medium for change, Dazai and Jouno seem to instead champion the actions of the many who may otherwise be counted off—the “stray dogs” in life, if you will—as the true wheels of change in the world. 

Aya and Sigma, along with several other individuals in the story, may serve as evidence of this, further supporting one recurring theme:

Real strength comes in various forms of weakness, those wayward individuals inhabiting the everyday.

[ I hope you’re finding ways to stay comfy in these trying times btw!! chapter 109 was kind of a lot . . . please be sure to take care of yourself ^-^ ]

THIS!!! I loveee the parallels we see between Aya and Sigma, and think they provide such a fascinating dynamic to BSD.

In most media, especially animangas, our characters all begin with a relatively low level of skill. They work hard to strengthen themselves, defeat what they believe to be their most difficult enemy, and quickly realise that they are in for a lot more than they bargained for. They continue to grow stronger, faster, smarter, until it's finally time to battle the truly terrifying enemy, the one that would have easily crushed them at the beginning. Rarely, if ever, do we get characters with that very base-level skill introduced towards the climax of the story, and even if we do, they are highly unlikely to survive.

Aya and Sigma not only broke that stereotype, but they echo that fantastic theme you mentioned: "The ones who actually make the world turn are those who scream within the storm of uncertainty and run with flowing blood."

And this train of thought always brings me to this moment from the beginning of chapter 107.5:

When I first read that I was like HUHH!???? But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense: Aya and Sigma really are going to be the saviours in this story: the stray (under)dogs.

I am so excited to see how this arc plays out, and ever-hopeful that everyone I hold dear will survive ;-; thank you for the ask!

[saltyxtides]

MONTGOMERY WARDEYN.

When Monty showed up for her Valentine’s Day visit for her brother she entered with a big over zealous and over dramatic hug for him. She set a ginormous basket of decandant candies and chocolates from all over the world down first. Then she smothered him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day brother of mine. Your Valentine has arrived. Aren’t you happy now? Cherish it now before you get stuck with mother all night. She’s already in the bathtub gin. Good luck with that.”

“I know I’m the best thing that ever happened to you and the highlight of your day. I’m the blessing of your life. You don’t even have to say it. I know you’ll never have a real girl out there for a Valentine but I got all prettied up, just for our dance. Don’t carry on how I’m better than another girl because I’ll never leave you like you always do, but it is true. I never will. Never, ever, EVER. Okay, I have a date after dropping you off with mom, but it’s for you too. She’s making me play shadow caddy. Ew. But, I love, uv you, wuv you.”  

Then she’d back up and do a little spin for him so he could see her dress all in pale pink lace. It was something designer though the real Bayden rarely called these things out, just told her she looked so pretty.

“Now where is it? Before we dance. Show me what little drawing or confection you’ve whipped up for me this year. Is it a poem? A song? Gimme, gimme.” Then she plopped herself right into his lap like an ever so close space invading sister might. “What quaint little BayBay way have you chosen to honor me this year?”

( @montywonmom​ )

       MONTGOMERY W a r d e y n buzzed around like she’d guzzled every drop of espresso.  Her actions were downright condescending like a Katy Perry parody video.  && they finally understood where Bayden’s arrogance stems from: that. 

       Dozen’s of times they had rehearsed Monty’s return in there head — the dramatic embrace, the exacting chosen gifts pattern last’s Christmas greetings.  They’re own breath felt tight, as if the walls were pressing in being constricted by something as dangerous as a python hugging them back weakly.  

       “ Happy Valentine’s Day, little sister. ”  A spin off of Montgomery’s own words used.  Only they didn’t look happy about Monty’s statement about DR.W a r d e y n.  The mama boy’s persona.  It was easy to show how they truly felt on the inside. A fiery scowl that felt like it wasn’t going away anytime soon.

       The more && more time they spent with Montgomery, in Bayden’s body the more his sister reminded them of Mother Gothel.  Only it’s the sibling addition Instead of listening through it, Monty’s voice began to sound tiny && helium high-pitched, as far away as an echo.

       If Bayden was meant to be controlled, that idjit would have come with a mother fucking remote.  But guess what?  He’s is own person.  What did his own sister really know about him?  It’s worse that his own sister didn’t even think about the concept of him ever falling in love.

       Could be a thing someday!  Anything was possible, but if it didn’t revolve around her, she wouldn’t notice.  He is a qualified person.  Not bothering to listen much after that, thus they lose more brain cells in the process.  Not quite looking to happy && keeping there thoughts to themselves.

       Only to be re-awakened into the moment when Monty sat on there lap.  Who did she think they were?  Jolly old St. Nicholas.  Wasn’t she a little to old to be sitting on his brother’s lap like this.  It was a high level of uncomfortable-ness, as she needed to leave room for the holy spirit.

       Not that they even believed in the holy spirit!  But damn girl give some space.  “ It’s not much. “ Taking a small bundle of daffodils — wrapped in yarn to hold it together ( god forbid the string nurse would come back again knowing Bayden’s luck ).  Freshly picked from the Asylum Grounds.

       Pink lemonade rock candy.  Though they couldn’t match Bayden's real skill of CHEF B o y b a y d e n style.  This was still food-relative?  Also re-using the cupcakes they made for them would have been safe, but let’s face it.  The calories consumption of a cupcake ( 131+ c. ) vs. rock candy ( 15 - 50 c. ).  

      It would be a waste to give them to her if she would just throw them away in the end.  Only now they had to try to finish things quickly between them.  As they didn’t want to stay anymore longer than they should.  “ Monty I’m not in the mood right now to stick around, fake a dance, so let’s JUST l e a v e.”

[softsadsassysweet]

Oh no not another Spike and Faye analysis.

I drove myself insane for months trying to figure out Spike’s ridiculously cryptic speech about his eyes to Faye in RFB. Why the hell of all things was this the thing he needed to so desperately tell her? My partner who loves the show and who is less emotionally involved than me completely deciphered it in a matter of seconds.

Essentially what they said:

“Spike isn’t a straight forward person who can admit his feelings. What a better way to indirectly compare these two women than to have one be the present and one be the past. Julia is his left eye, Faye is his right eye. Julia is the dream, and Faye is reality. The dream is over, Faye is who he has now.”

That hit me like a fucking truck when they said that.

I also realized that the only two people that Spike talks to about his eyes in the show, are Julia and Faye. He tells Julia in a voice over flash back during JJ and then Faye in RFB. They’re the only two people he tells about his eyes. BOOM, symbolism.

The next thing I banged my head against a wall over was his two speeches about the woman he loves to Jet and Electra.

Jet: When you and I first met, you told me something. You told me that you had died once, that you had seen death. Why can’t you just let it go? Forget the past.

Spike: There was a woman. First time I found someone who was truly alive, or at least that’s what I thought. She was the part of me I’d lost somewhere along the way. The part that I was missing, the part I had been longing for…. She’s back.

*********

Spike: When I was younger, I wasn’t afraid of anything. I didn’t have the slightest fear of dying, no reason for it. I thought that if I die that’s fine with me anytime at all, but then I met a certain woman and it changed. I started to think that I wanted to survive. For the first time the fear of death began to scare me. It was on my mind. I never felt that kind of feeling almost, paralyzed.

Electra: And? Where is she now?

Spike: She… faded off somewhere. Strange you’re the first person I said this to.

Spike never says Julia’s name and it fucking haunts me. He says “I met a certain woman” or “There was a woman”. It felt on purpose that he’s being vague. Why not just say her name? Come on dude you spent a two parter episode arc looking for her. You were very open about what she means to you. Jet of all people knows who you’re talking about!! Why don’t yah just, SAY THAT IT WAS JULIA????

It’s because it wouldn’t be the whole truth.

I’ve read some very convincing essays about how these speeches are about Faye, but that doesn’t feel quite right either.

This is where I connected the symbolism of the eyes, to what he has to say about the woman he loves.

If Spikes eyes are showing him patches of reality, then his speeches are mixed parts of the truth of what he’s feeling. He feels for both women. They both affect him deeply in this way. They are both a part of him. Just like his eyeballs.

Another hang up I had, was how the descriptions of the woman’s actions and past tense language did seem to fit Julia. Why do the speeches seem to outwardly point to Julia and inwardly point to Faye?

Why throw us off like that?

I believe it’s because he doesn’t have to face reality with Julia. What’s done, is done. It’s the past. If he outwardly admits his affections for Faye then that indicates he’s going to begin to do some thing about it. He’s not there yet. The past is easier to control and therefor easier to talk about. The present and future are the unknowns. (Which is why he is dumb ass kid on the play ground level mean to her and keeps her at a distance. He doesn’t know how to handle Faye.) He’s not quite sure he even has a future. And yet, by being vague he gets the satisfaction of catharsis. He can finally say out loud how he feels about Faye. It’s all so tragically high school.

I’m probably going to revise this essay later, but for now I needed to brain dump it into the world. In the meantime I need a glass of wine and a life.

[logicalbookthief]

Thinking about how both Touya and Shouto began to freeze other people out after a traumatic childhood incident in which they were burned. How both used it as a form of self-defense and to sever their ties to people, after the pain these connections caused, not only physically but emotionally. 

As a child, we see Touya express his emotions without restraint. He’s loud. He’s boisterous. He cries openly and wears his heart on his sleeve. 

It makes sense that he would be taking cues from his father, who he spent the majority of his time with when he was younger, and who is also an expressive person (although this is often to the detriment of those on the receiving end of his emotions). Not to mention it was his father’s quirk that Touya inherited. Since his emotions fuel his flames, it is likely Endvr encouraged his exuberance for the purposes of training. By Dabi’s own reckoning, his father “only ever taught [him] to turn up the heat.”

Which might be the approach you take when training a hero to control their fire, but it isn’t one you should take when raising a child. Children need to be taught to regulate their emotions and express them in a healthy manner. Something that it was clear Touya needed guidance on the moment he started to hurt himself with his quirk and for sure when he tried to attack Shouto.

No matter how loudly or plainly he expressed himself, however, Touya’s feelings were were never properly addressed by the adults in his life. 

He was brushed aside, rather than taught how to deal with his feelings, or how to “cool down” when needed. 

Instead of receiving the support and guidance he needed, the neglect culminates in an outburst that “kills” him and leaves the majority of his body horrifically scarred.  

Compare how he acted in his childhood to when we meet Dabi in the present, where he comes across as cold and detached. 

Initially, it is hard to get a read on what exactly he wants or feels since he purposefully keeps that distance. Remind you of anyone?

He went from one extreme (and one parent’s example) to another -- letting all his emotions pour out without restraint vs repressing everything to the point where he claims he can’t feel anything. Obviously, this isn’t actually the case, because the destructive strength of his flames continuously indicates the depth of his emotions. Touya never stopped feeling as deeply as he did as a child, but he began to repress them in order to prevent himself from being burned again, physically or emotionally. 

The way he disassociates from himself is contradictive in itself, as it is both a method of survival and a self-suicide. He conceals his true identity from people while denying he is that person anymore. His past is his motivation for all his present actions, even as he claims to have cut ties with those from his past.

It is quite the parallel to Shouto’s own struggle between the duality of his quirk. Like with Touya, the snippets we see of Shouto as a child show that he was once more expressive, too.

Unlike his older brother, Shouto has an equal amount of fire and ice at his disposal, and where Touya overextended his flames in his desperation to be acknowledged, Shouto refused to use his flames because he associated them with his father. He lost his mother, the single person who he was ever able to form a connection to, because of his father and because his father had passed along those parts of himself to Shouto.

Rightfully, Shouto recognizes his father as the one to blame for his mother’s breakdown and the scar she gave him. However, his decision to only use his ice quirk from that point on implies that he holds the half of himself that resembles his father accountable for losing his mother, too. It is still a form of self-detriment. Why else would he suppress what is his power, no matter where it came from? This is why his growth is sparked by Deku’s reminder that it is his power, his choice to do with it what he wants. It is why Shouto’s story centers around reconciliation, both with his family and with the parts of himself he once found detestable. 

Honestly, what makes the Todoroki family so compelling is if you strip away the quirks, the superheroes and the villains, you have a story that revolves around the baggage you inherit from your parents and how it affects your relationship to yourself and to other people.

Although Rei’s breakdown was 1000% spurred on by her husband’s abuse, she hurt Shouto because she looked at him during her breakdown and saw only his father, which is why she lashed out -- to her immediate regret and horror. But you can very clearly see how after this incident, her baggage gets passed on to Shouto, who consequently has a difficult time separating his own self-image from that of his father. 

Lashing out at the reminder of her husband fits, too, when you remember Rei never truly wanted to marry Enji. She may not have even wanted children and it definitely seemed like she didn’t plan for any after Fuyumi. She thought it was something she could grin and bear, that her feelings were something she could repress and endure, until it escalated beyond her control.

Similarly, Enji abandoned Touya because he inherited too much of Rei, going so far as to say he was born with her “weak constitution.” He looked at Touya and saw too much of her, the ice quirk user he never truly wanted to marry -- he never even wanted to start a family. All he wanted was quirk that would enhance his own, so he could build a better version of himself. But he didn’t get it on the first try, he got it on the fourth, and subsequently had three children he was responsible for when he obviously didn’t know what to do with them. Ignoring his “failure” children, Touya in particular, checks out since it aligns with his own baggage. 

Just as it checks out when Touya inherits this baggage, believing his entire existence to be a mistake if he can’t achieve the expectations Endvr wanted met in his chosen child. And when Touya continued to defy his wishes and train despite the toll it takes? How did he lash out?

With a loud, aggressive outburst that showed no restraint towards whoever it was unleashed on. 

You can see both of their parents in how Shouto and Dabi interact with / react to others. They bottle everything inside until they reach a breaking point (like their mother) and once they’re over the precipice, they overflow in the form of a destructive outburst (like their father).

It isn’t a healthy manner of expressing themselves, because they need to find a balance of “hot” and “cold” -- allowing themselves to express and feel, without doing harm to themselves or others. Neither fire nor ice are inherently good or bad, it depends on how they’re used. Fire can burn and blister, but it can also warm and thaw. Ice can soothe and balm, but it can also freeze and distance. 

Likewise, what they inherited from their parents has no bearing on whether they’re good or bad, hero or villain, worthy or a failure. Shouto isn’t deserving of scorn for being half of his father and Touya isn’t undeserving of love for having a fire quirk incompatible with with his mother’s constitution. It is merely a fact of their existence.

[ruby-whistler]

i think one of the most fascinating misinterpretations of c!dream's character is people thinking that he would come to a realization. that if he were to be redeemed - the first step would be regret.

/dsmp /rp

because c!dream isn't stupid. he doesn't need to come to the realization that what he did was awful, because he already knows that. he knew that before he did it - that's the thing.

because people seem to think that regret can only come from gaining awareness, which is why they think he'll never regret what he did, and in turn, can never be redeemed.

that's not true. regret is more than showing surprise over your actions. sometimes, it's not sudden.

what people don't realize, is that more often than not, remorse is a process.

because c!dream isn't lying to himself; he isn't hiding something from himself, he isn't unaware. he's, funnily enough, the exact other way around. he believes wholeheartedly in his cause. he believes, whatever it is, that his plan will work; because c!dream doesn't hope. he takes strings things into his own hands and he achieves.

it is literally ingrained in him to reach, to hurt, to do whatever it takes.

the thing that makes c!dream do the things he does isn't lies, baseless beliefs, or a lack of knowledge. it isn't impulsive feelings or deceptive obsessions. it isn't something sudden, temporary, something he can wake up from or realize, or something that defines him to the point he couldn't come back from it.

it's a mindset.

mindsets aren't sudden, mindsets aren't overnight - it takes experience to change the way you look at the world.

"the world is cruel to you; why should you show mercy?"

"attachments can and will be used against you if you let people know you care."

"you can't trust those who brought war, even if they promise peace."

"in the end, you're the only one who can fix everything."

and most importantly;

"the ends justify the means."

c!dream has had these mindsets reaffirmed repeatedly over the course of the story, hence they're rooted deep within his thought process - the last one especially has always been a vital part of the character, and only spun out of control when he was pushed too far.

mindsets can't be "realized", ripped out by the stem. they'll only grow back stronger, thicker, more poisonous from the root.

which is experience.

mindsets must be uprooted; you have to dig deep enough to tear out their origin. you must teach the person, or even yourself, to think in a different way; because mindsets are not gained, they are learned, and hence, to be truly gone, they must be unlearned.

and unlearning a mindset takes time.

that is why c!dream will not regret what he did when he is told he's horrible, a monster, a villain, a manipulator; that is why c!dream will not regret what he did when it's beaten into every inch of his body.

it's not because he can't regret it - it's because mindsets can't be destroyed with words or with fists, but need to be shown to be incorrect through actions.

tldr: what drives c!dream's actions aren't beliefs, which can be proven wrong; it's mindsets, which need to be unlearned.

so, what now? if not regret, what is c!dream's first step towards redemption?

well, surprisingly enough, much like in the real world; in this case, change can only be achieved through positive reinforcement.

think about it - everything he does stems from the mindset that he alone can repair his home, he alone can fix everything for everyone else which is why he needs control - but this... isn't true.

at least, it doesn't have to be - because although that is all c!dream has ever known, that friends need to be disconnected and allies can't be trusted to be rational, be peaceful; do the best for everyone - he can, step by step, fulfilled promise after fulfilled promise, another try, another successful leap towards happiness, learn that he doesn't need to be desperate, doesn't need to control others for them to listen to him and see him as a person instead of just a threat.

the only way to get c!dream to show remorse for his past action is to teach him through support and kindness that he is wrong.

that he doesn't have to hurt himself and others for his goals.

that the ends don't justify the means - that some things can never be justified. that there is always another way out, and that way is people you can rely on and who won't leave you.

c!dream is a character plagued with harmful and toxic mindsets, some instilled and all reaffirmed by a harmful and toxic environment.

wouldn't it make sense, that once he's finally shown something else, he himself can, without having to be taught through pain and sharp words, slowly come to the conclusion that he was wrong?

[nothankyousirr]

my opinions on the different mbti types (from an intj)

enfp - you can be good to hang around in moderation. i appreciate your charitable nature; how you aren’t one to pass judgement, but that also leads to a lack in understanding one’s depth. i appreciate how easy it is to befriend you, you’re able to keep the conversation without any expectations on my part to contribute, and although you can be stupid and impulsive, it’s to a point where it’s almost fascinating, which makes it somehow nice to be in your presence. in moderation, of course. you can be very draining at some points.

entp - you’re funny to watch, but actually conversing with you can be...confusing? i do appreciate your ability to see things from other perspectives, but sometimes you need to take a step back and understand the overall reasons behind those perspectives. confidence is important, but don’t get too over zealous, we all have things to improve on.

enfj - i cannot understand you. at all. you’re so nice, it seems like you have some sort of ulterior motives. i do not trust you, you are just so warm i feel like i’m being judged every time i talk with you, or are even in the same room as you. your general demeanor is just so kind it’s threatening, you need to be less optimistic.

entj - a lot of people hate you, which i can understand on their part, but i appreciate your approach to things. with every entj i’ve met, no matter my friend’s/peer’s opinion, we’ve always had a mutual understanding of some sorts. although, i do see a lot of naivety; which i’m 99.9% sure none of you will ever admit. i admire your drive, your confidence, and things along those lines, but some words of advice; you can’t change anyone. as hard as you try, some people are just stuck the way they are, unfortunately. it’s something i’ve had to learn as well, but a lesson i think would do you well.

infp - you are adorably killing yourselves with every move; like small puppy who’s favorite toy just happens to be laid perfectly in the middle of ongoing traffic. your impulsivity hurts me deep inside. please, just try to be aware of your surroundings, at least a little. i know, ironic coming from me, but it’s all i could ask. think out your actions, just a bit. i know life may suck, but take it upon yourself to change that, instead of just falling victim to your own hurt. i wish i could just pick you up and live your life for you, it hurts to see you do these things.

intp - i like you. your humor is refreshing as well as your insight, you just cannot stay organized. you take pride in your discombobulation; your lack of care, which confuses me. because of that, it’s hard to empathize with you when you have troubles, because it could’ve been easily prevented. it makes me upset for you when i see you do this. it doesn’t come from a place of trying to overly pressure you, rather a place of care. i hope that can be acknowledged.

infj - i enjoy your presence, you are just are hard to get. i always seem to upset you in some way, so i implore you to be better at communicating those things. your productivity and insight is very much appreciated, i feel your anxiety is holding you back. we all experience anxiety, it’s a valid human emotion, of course, but don’t let it dictate your life. confidence is important, you’re allowed to acknowledge your accomplishments. also, i implore you to think deeper in terms of morality. why do you believe those things? what is the axiomatic rout of those morals? by understanding that, you gain a better understanding of the people around you. the people you deem to be bad, may think they’re good by their own definition.

intj - from one intj to another, i feel like there is a lot to grow on. we tend to be very book-smart, but oblivious when it comes to how people work, including ourselves, but just because those things are acknowledged from mbti posts and whatnot, that does not give any excuse to avoid improvement. knowledge is important if we ever want to achieve our goals, and having that insight can make things a lot easier. as much as it seems like time is easily slipping away from us, taking control and trying to pick up on those details we may normally be ignoring, may teach us something valuable. it’s also important to take care of ourselves. i find routines are an easy way to remember to do so. having designated times for everything helps maximize the amount of time to get things done, while also taking care of your needs. and give yourself breaks. having fun, relaxing, etc. can also be productive in itself. not everything that’s productive isn’t what’s directly seen as such.

esfp - you can be a lot. its very hard for me to truly understand you, and i get the impression that you feel the same about me. i feel like there’s a lot of miscommunication. we’re practically complete opposites, not just literally (intj-esfp) but in practice as well. what you find fun and what i find fun is so drastically different from one another, i feel like it’s impossible to truly have a meaningful time with each other. from both parties.

estp - i like your confidence. your humor as well. i feel like we get along quite well, although it can be hard at some points because i tend to live in the future a lot, while you’re the “go with the flow” type. that is appreciated, though, and i feel like there’s a lot to teach each other. that’s just a matter of taking the time to communicate with one-another and be understanding.

esfj - i like you, from the sidelines. i appreciate the way you think, i’m just not sure if that is reciprocated. i tend to come of very strong, which i think is quite anxiety inducing for you, but you’re very passionate about the things you enjoy. i do think it’s important for you to have more insight, though. the world is vast, and an understanding of it can be very beneficial to you. 

estj -  your drive is commendable. you’re very confident, know what you want, which i appreciate. i do think it’s important to take a step to think about things further to acknowledge the nuances in things, instead of dismissing them as confusing. not everything is as blunt as you’d like, and may take a bit of critical thinking to truly understand. things happen, yes, but why may they do that? is there anyway to prevent the things you don’t like from happening? those questions are something i think are important to keep in mind.

isfp - for lack of a more kinder way of saying this, i dislike you. i wouldn’t go as far as to say i hate you, but i am very frustrated with you. you tend to dismiss things for the main reason of someone just “being that way” without taking into account any other factors that may come into play for that behavior. with the isfps i’ve met, you’ve seen my behaviors as “trying too hard to be a certain way” or “pretentious” without truly understanding why i act the way i do. it gets frustrating. your very confident, but in thoughts that are lacking in insight. take a second to learn about what you’re talking about before you say things. for my own sanity.

istp - even though you seem like you’re about to kill yourself with your approach to things, you always some how get it done, which is respectable, yet fascinating. you’re surprisingly very fun, even though from the outside i wouldn’t think we’d be at all close friends. you’re not one for deep conversation, rather the kind of conversation that always leave’s me feeling refreshed. it’s important to sometimes take a break, and you’re the type of person that i can easily have that with.

isfj - you’re very adorable. your moral standpoint to most things can be a bit frustrating at some points, but you make up for it with your kind demeanor; a genuine kindness as well. your happiness and drive to help people is a commendable quality, just don’t let people walk all over you. you tend to be a bit too charitable, when sometimes it’s okay to recognize that people just aren’t the right match for you. it’s okay to take care of yourself. i know i come off strong and that can be a bit intimidating, but i promise that it comes from a place of care. be confident in yourself. to truly be able to take care of the people around you, you need to take care of yourself first.

istj - i respect you and your approach to things. i think there are a lot of things we can learn from one another. your ability to easily figure things out from your surroundings is admirable, and it’s interesting the way your mind works. i haven’t met many istjs (of my knowledge) but i think we’d get along quite well from the information given to me.

[aminiatureworld]

Enigmatic Feelings

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,544

Warnings: None

Premise: Love is a potent force. And sometimes little things take on larger meanings, especially when one party is unaware of them.

In which the reader’s s/o is jealous

Author’s Note: This trope is 100% my guilty pleasure. I hope I did it justice.

I also realized while writing this that all these characters have the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, but they’re trying their best, so that’s what counts.

Albedo

Albedo was many things. A great alchemist, a man of secrets, a weapon with which one might someday bring destruction. He was even a lover, albeit an unpracticed one. But what he was not was emotional. Or so he thought.

Of course Albedo knew what jealousy was, knew the sort of stupidity that people could fall into when altogether too infatuated with their own love. But just because one knows what jealousy is does not mean one must fall prey to such things. Or so Albedo assumed.

It was the fourth day in a row that a knight had approached your door. Friedrich was his name, and he was doing a stellar job at capturing your attention, and pulling on emotions that Albedo had long told himself he didn’t contain.

Today the flower was a Windwheel Aster, swaying this way and that in the pocket of space between your two hands. You were smiling at it, or rather at Friedrich, brightly, fingers mere moments away from Friedrich as you went to claim the fourth flower this week. Though the was nothing necessarily untoward in Friedrich’s movements, and Albedo would much rather a person of integrity be attempting to woo you, even if the idea itself turned knots in his stomach; nevertheless it still left a bad taste in the alchemist’s mouth, and a worry in his heart that he was not so immune to jealousy as he’d previous assumed.

“Thank you!” You spoke to Friedrich, giving one last wave before walking back over to Albedo. “Albedo look! It’s a Windwheel Aster. It’s very nice of Friedrich to give me one, maybe I can use it, or maybe it’ll be helpful for your experiments?”

“Yes, thank you. I, I think you should keep it.”

As much as Albedo wanted to take the flower and throw it in the incinerator, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter the smile on your face. No matter how dearly it cost him to see you smile down once more at the delicate red petals. And no matter how much it haunted him the rest of the day to imagine you, face framed by a smile, a bouquet of a random knight’s making in your hands.

That knight as Albedo put away the Bunsen burners and the graduated cylinders he kept his mind preoccupied by thoughts of you. Surely he had to tell you his feelings, for if not they would keep building in his chest; building and building until one day he erupted, with you in the line of fire rather than the knight who was creating this whole dilemma, perhaps even unwittingly. Though Albedo had never been in a relationship before he knew stories. Weren’t books full of those kinds of moments? Men, women, people, all of them running over one another in their misunderstanding, in their overwhelming guilt.

No, he wouldn’t turn out like that, wouldn’t let the two of you be hurt in such a way. He had to tell you. Had to make you understand how much his chest constricted when he saw you carrying the gifts of others, had to let it be known before he lost control of these emotions. After all, wasn’t that what happened with emotions? They grow and grow and one day they spill over. And Albedo never wanted these emotions to spill over. No matter the cost.

“May I tell you something?”

The sunlight was streaming through the laboratory windows, the air warm enough that Sucrose had tied up her hair during her shift. And yet Albedo felt cold, oh so cold. He was going to tell you today. He hadn’t been able to tell you three days ago, nor two days ago, nor yesterday. And now the bouquet of flowers that occupied a tiny glass on the windowsill felt quite large indeed. Today would be day eight if Friedrich showed up at lunchtime, and before that Albedo would tell you.

“Of course you can Albedo, I’m all ears!”

You turned around, a soft smile once more spreading across your face. Putting down the pencil you’d been holding you leaned back against the lab table. Albedo took in a deep breath. He could do this. He would do this. He had to do this. No matter what, today. Today, he would do this.

“I-I’m jealous.” The words hung in the air for a moment, as if not understood.

“Jealous?” You tilted your head slightly, worry making your smile slip. “Albedo, jealous of what?”

“Of Friedrich, of you and Friedrich, or rather, I mean, of Friedrich giving you flowers.” Albedo paused, words tangling in his mouth, tripping on each other in an attempt to be understood. What if this was a mistake.

“Albedo,” you shook you head softly, walking over to cup your partner’s face, “I promise that there’s nothing in it. The flowers are lovely, of course, but nothing in this world could replace or stem my love for you. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Albedo replied hurriedly, worried still that he might be misunderstood, “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, or say that I doubt you. My love, I will never doubt you. I just, I just feel so uncomfortable when he brings you flowers. It feels like, like I don’t know; it feels like I’m being poisoned, suddenly and all at once. And I don’t want it to affect the way I act towards you. So, so I wanted to tell you. You don’t have to stop, if those flowers make you happy then that’s what matters. But, but I just wanted to tell you.”

You said nothing, staring into Albedo’s eyes, gaze piercing through the alchemist. It was always that way with you. How you managed to destroy the control he thought he had, the wall he’d erected between himself and humanity. How you made him feel unsure and fallible and whole. And, just as before, now your gaze softened and you shook your head, your smile a balm for the raw unfamiliarity of putting together emotions.

“It’s okay Albedo, I’m glad you told me. Just like my emotions matter to you, I’d rather not see you unhappy. To be honest, I just never saw Friedrich’s actions in the way that he probably meant them. We all struggle with our feelings sometimes, I do just like you. Just as long as well tell each other, all will be well. Alright?”

“Yes. Thank you. I don’t know what I do without you.”

“Well you’ll never have to find out, so it doesn’t matter!”

There was no eighth flower that day, at least not one that was successfully given. Albedo supposed that he could pity Friedrich, but in reality he felt nothing but relief. The emotions that had left such a bad taste in his mouth seemed so far away now, for there was you, only you. It would only ever be you for him, and the days in which you said the same thing of him Albedo felt as if he could truly be happy, and truly acknowledge the emotions that swirled inside him, the love for you so great it spilled over into a vast ocean.

 Diluc

Diluc found most merchants loathsome, something perhaps not entirely fair considering his own status as a mover of goods.

Still, merchants in general were an unlikeable bunch. Prone to complacency and greed, this elite circle was comprised of people who thought of little than of ways to line their pockets anew. It disgusted Diluc and as he stood there, watching as a man who had enough jewelry on his body to weigh down a pack mule and a smile that made one want to run in the other direction, throw compliments and boasts your way, the winery owner was reminded about all that was wrong with the world in which he worked.

“So your goal is to attempt to find a route through which we might trade our wine in Inazuma?” You repeated the words the man had just spoken, expression skeptical. “As much as it would mean good business to begin another trade route, I believe the border restrictions will cause no little difficulty.”

“Restrictions such as those are nothing for a man like me.” The merchant smile once more and Diluc felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. “I have the ability to wave past such an issue. Indeed with the right price I believe I could expand your network to include all of the seven major lands, if you haven’t been trading internationally.”

“Thank you for your offer.” You replied, too focused on the work in front of you to notice the merchant’s roving sort of gaze. “I’ll see what Master Diluc has to say. However I warn you, as much as international exports are important for a growing trade, smuggling wine into locked countries will do little good. Especially considering what the damage could do to this winery’s reputation if such a thing was found out.”

“Don’t worry, I assure you my methods are completely secure. In fact, if you’d like to discuss it in more depth, I do believe that I may be able to enlighten you over a meal.”

“Perhaps, although Master Diluc would certainly have to be there.” You smiled slightly, and Diluc wondered for a moment if you were being purposefully oblivious or simply didn’t notice the meaning behind the merchant’s words.

“I will be back tomorrow, perhaps you’ll have an answer then?”

“I’m sure I will.” You replied, smiling as the two of you shook hands. As the merchant walked out of the winery your smile morphed into a sort of smirk and you looked up towards the balcony of the second floor.

“You can come out now Diluc, I know you’re there.”

Diluc couldn’t help but smile at those words, he truly couldn’t get anything past you. Hurrying down the stairs he swept you up in his arms, sighing slightly into your neck as you tightened the embrace.

“Ever so observant, my darling.”

“I know that you’d never let a transaction or a business conversation take place without your knowledge.” There was a playfulness to your voice, coming from the knowledge that you were utterly correct. “Still, you could’ve come downstairs you know. I don’t think that anyone would need to believe that you were going through your ‘very important paperwork, and lurking around is your night job.’”

“It seemed somehow wrong to suddenly appear in front of you two and derail the conversation.” Diluc drew away and placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, chuckling when you immediately wrinkled it. “Especially since you were doing so well on your own.”

“Oh he’s just like the rest of them,” you sighed, “altogether a bit too full of themselves.”

“Especially in this one’s case.” Diluc said, finally letting a scowl cross his face.

“What do you mean?”

The look on your face was one of innocence and confusion, and for a moment Diluc felt his thoughts stammer, as he realized that you truly were unaware of the way that the merchant was looking at you, unaware of the manner which caused Diluc even now to continue to press his hand gently against your lower back. If you didn’t notice it, then surely Diluc was overreacting, surely there was no reason for his heart to stutter and his stomach to drop. Surely there was no reason, and surely he shouldn’t tell you.

“Nothing at all, I just didn’t like his face.” He hurried now to reply, realizing how odd his pause must’ve seemed. “Will you be accepting his proposal for a business dinner?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose it couldn’t hurt. And then it might be a good venue for the two of you to talk. Since you find him especially ghastly, I think a more public meeting might be easier.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t think that invitation was meant for me.” Diluc replied, before realizing his gaffe and falling silent.

“What? What do you mean of course it’s meant for you. I mean you are the owner of the Winery. Who else would it be for?”

“For, for you my darling. Why else would he ask you in such a way?” Diluc tried to keep the acid out of his words. It wasn’t your fault after all. It wasn’t your fault that some louche was asking after you.

“But I’m not the one in charge.” You furrowed your brow. “I can’t make the final decision. And I won’t allow him to attempt to bypass getting your permission either.”

“My darling, I, I think he meant it a different way.”

“What way?”

Diluc sighed, capitulating quickly to his want to tell you. Even if it was perhaps selfish of him, he was never truly good at keeping his feelings masked away, at least in a way that didn’t result in him completely shutting down. And you meant to much to him than for Diluc to try and lie to you.

“You see, I think he was attempting to ask you on a more romantic sort of dinner.”

“What?”

Your reaction was immediate, your expression quickly turning into one of shock and then of disgust. Letting out a groan you buried your face into the front of Diluc’s coat, eliciting a short laugh from its owner.

“Why? I… I… Even if I weren’t in love with you I’d never go out to dinner with him.”

“I don’t think he would appreciate the sentiment.”

“Diluc.” You let out another groan, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of the thought. “Archons, ugh thank you for telling me. I, disgusting.”

Diluc said nothing, simply tightening the hold of his arms around you. Though your reaction was certainly justifiable he knew there was something more behind them, and he felt grateful for your consideration. Though he knew that would always have been your reaction, it didn’t stop the pressure that ha been building in his chest, the thoughts that screamed what if, what if, what if. What if there is something better than you.

“Hey, are you alright?” You voice drifted up through the fabric of Diluc coat. He smiled, relaxing his grasp around you and pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“I will be. May I hold you a little longer?”

“Of course. You’re the only one for me, you know.”

“And you for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Those words, though so small, were somehow enough.

 Xiao

The new guest at the inn had been speaking to you for quite some time. That was Xiao’s first observation. The second was that you didn’t seem to mind. The third was that for some reason he suddenly felt incredibly irritated.

It was a beautiful evening, the kind that would’ve normally had you and Xiao sitting on the roof together, fingers entwined, the silence of nature cushioning the two of your from the outside world. It was a ritual, something that Xiao had come to rely on, had come to almost sanctify. Yet here he was, sitting on one of the thicker branches of the trees that dotted the outside of the Inn, trying desperately to quench the anger that bloomed in his chest as he watched you and the guest talk the minutes away.

Perhaps the worst part was that you didn’t seem to mind. Instead of pulling the conversation towards a close, you seemed perfectly content to keep talking, smiling brightly and quickly answering the questions of this uninvited guest. Normally Xiao didn’t care about , or rather didn’t keep track of, the people you spoke to. Of course you would have friends, would have people that mattered to you. Just because Xiao had disconnected himself from humanity didn’t mean that you had to. So why was he so angry?

His patience ran out when the guest reached for your hand. Sidling next to you as fast as he could Xiao peeled off his invisibility, enjoying the shock that registered across the uninvited guest’s face as he moved his hand back. Reaching to entwine his hand with yours Xiao shifted his gaze towards your face. Shock was painted into your expression, but there was also something else, a glimmer of happiness or of satisfaction. Somehow it unnerved Xiao, and he focused instead on the task at hand, whatever that task was.

“It’s getting late.”

“Oh, of course.” Turning back to the guest you smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but perhaps we’ll speak again some other time?”

“Gladly!” The man’s face lit up, before Xiao’s glaring left him scampering down the steps.

“Xiao, is something wrong?” The question was so genuine, without any sense of knowing more than you let. Unfortunately the question was also unanswerable.

“It’s late. We should go.” Xiao gestured towards the roof, hoping the reminder would flush the question out of your head.

“You’re right, I suppose it is getting late. And we wouldn’t want to waste such a wonderful evening.” You smiled. And yet somehow Xiao felt unplacated. He was happy, wasn’t he? So why, why did the question hang in the air, and why did the discontent remain?

The next day was a lazy one, as Xiao waited for you to be done with work. More than usual he missed you, and he wished that the hours would go faster, so he might be able to once more enjoy your presence, to banish the discontent that he still felt, evening after an hour spent wholly in your company.

Eventually the sun made its descent from the heavens, and Xiao pulled himself once more to the perch on the tree he’d taken the night before. Gazing down at the balcony he saw the familiar figure of the unwanted guest, and a stab of anger flashed through him. This was made all the worse by your entrance, and the fact you once more stopped to make time for this intruder.

The man was just as insufferable as before, full of jokes that Xiao didn’t understand and words that though praising of you felt somewhat hollow, almost insulting. You laughed along to these jokes, smiled at these odd compliments. And when the man asked if you might be willing to talk more over some sort of meal you merely smiled.

Xiao, however, found the whole ordeal unbearable. Why should this person be asking all these things, be prying you with words of intimacy and familiarity. Had he not arrived yesterday? Was he not an utter stranger? Confusion mixed with irritation in Xiao’s head, and he found it difficult to hold on to the stony reason he’d built up. What was going on? What was this terrible feeling of anger and want? He couldn’t understand human ways. Less could he understand why they should have any sort of effect on him.

Still he had to do something. Had to do anything. Swooping down once more Xiao began the same charade. This time, however, the man merely jumped, and for all his glaring Xiao couldn’t dislodge the guest from his place on the balcony.

“It’s late.”

“Ah it is. Are you hungry?” He asked, addressing you once more.

“I’m not at all, but Xiao’s right. It is late. If you haven’t eaten yet then perhaps you should. Smiley Yanxiao is quite strict about his rest.”

“Ah, then perhaps you’re right. Still, why not join me? You can tell me your name, and we can talk a little more about the things you do.”

“You don’t even know their name.” Xiao spat out the sentence, barely able to contain the odd sort of irritation that still spun around him. He asked you all those questions, said all those words of praise, all without knowing your name. It felt somehow dehumanizing, somehow… wrong.

“I would be glad to learn it.” The man smiled.

Xiao simply shook his head. He needed to leave. It was becoming too much again, and the last thing Xiao wanted was for a stranger to see him this way, see him unsure and confused and not a little frightened of these alien emotions. Glaring at the man one more time Xiao scooped you up. Ignoring the surprised shriek that you let out he shot up into the sky, moving towards the familiar sanctuary of Jueyen Karst, deeply grateful that the guest, whatever he could do, could never fly.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” You asked, barely giving Xiao the time to set you down onto one of Liyue’s sloping peaks before asking him the one question he couldn’t answer.

“Nothing.”

“Well it’s certainly not nothing. You’re being awfully rude to that guest, and I can’t understand why. Usually you don’t really care about those sorts of things. So something must be wrong, and I want to know what it is.”

A pause.

“Please.”

“I can’t.” It was all Xiao could say, the only thing that would truly encompass the truth, because in truth he couldn’t. He himself didn’t understand it.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“My chest hurts.”

“What?” Immediately your face shifted into one of worry, and you placed a soft hand over Xiao’s heart. Somehow the gesture was calming, and Xiao closed his eyes, enjoying the receding of the hot bands that had just been restricting him.

“My chest hurt when I saw you with that, that guest. My chest hurt and I felt angry. That’s what’s wrong. My chest hurt, but now it doesn’t; and I don’t understand it.”

There was a pause, and Xiao studied the expressions on your face, watched as they shifted from worry to confusion to caution.

“Xiao, is it possible you were jealous?”

“No.” The idea was somehow insulting.

“It’s alright to be jealous Xiao. It just means you care about someone very much. You don’t have to just dismiss it like that. I want to make sure that you’re alright, so please be honest. Is it possible you were jealous?”

Xiao let another gap form in the conversation, trying to figure out how to answer. The suggestion felt demeaning, felt as if he somehow had no control over himself, no trust of you. And yet it somehow made sense, and even as he shook his head he found himself letting out a different answer.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay if you don’t. I know that new emotions can be frightening, can be difficult to deal with. But Xiao, I’ll always love you. It doesn’t matter who else I meet or what else happens in my life. I love you the way that a bird loves the sky. You’re a part of my life I could never lose. So even if this isn’t jealousy, even if I’m wrong, I still want to let you know. I love you.”

Xiao sighed, a smile finally gracing his lips, the pain in his chest finally melting away. What did he ever do to deserve such a person as you, he would never know. He wished he could repeat those words back to you word for word, wished that he could explain that his love for you was all encompassing, had seeped through the cracks of his existence and his life. He wished he could form together the words necessary to convey his love for you. Even if it was impossible he still wished it.

So instead he leaned over towards you. Letting out a gentle sigh he brought his lips to yours, reveling in the soft sensation of your mouth against his, reveling in the way you leaned against him, bringing you arm up to his neck, letting out a soft breath of contentment as the two of you disconnected.

You didn’t ask him anything else, and for the rest of the evening you two sat on the grass, watching the fireflies dance around you as you leaned against one another.

Perhaps Xiao didn’t yet understand the extent to which he loved you, the emotions that had now risen up, given life by the love you’d poured into the adeptus. Perhaps he didn’t understand this yet, but he knew that all would be well. For with you all that irritation seemed so far away, as if it belonged to a Xiao of yesterday. Because here and now you two were together, breathing in the same mutual contentment, the same mutual trust, the same mutual love. And that present was more important than any jealousy could be.

 Zhongli

Looking back on the matter Zhongli admitted that maybe pretending the problem didn’t exist was probably not the best solution.

It was only that you two had seemed so oddly content in talking, so, compatible, that Zhongli couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discontent, a tension that spread through his jaw and down to his stomach. He didn’t quite understand the nature of the emotion that now spread over him, but he did understand that it was connected to the bond that was now forming between you and the vendor in front of you.

“Dearest one.” He spoke softly, walking over to where you now stood.

“Oh, Zhongli!” Your face lit up as usual, and the ex-archon felt a piece of him uncoil. At least some things seemed to be unchanging, just as wonderful today as they had been the day before.

“I’ve been looking for you. I know you spoke of wanting to learn more about the nature of Cor Lapis, and the tea shop has been offering a new brew. Perhaps we could share a drink?”

“Oh that sounds lovely!” Turning around towards the vendor you smiled gently. “I’m sorry, I’ll have to try that lovely soup you were speaking of some other time.”

“Not at all!” The vendor’s smile was good natured, and Zhongli didn’t understand why he nevertheless felt a twinge of uncertainty. “I look forward to it. I hope you two have a nice day, and we’ll talk about it more later.”

Though the stall receded into the distance as the two of you turned the corner, Zhongli couldn’t help but let the moment run through his mind once more, finding it as sore to think about as a bruise might be to the touch.

“That vendor? Oh they’re new on the scene.” You smiled, taking a sip of tea.

The tea house was as calming as ever, the noises of the outside a distant song, and the hushed whispers inside adding to the intimate atmosphere. Zhongli normally loved to sit here, drinking cup after cup of tea, watching as the people came and went about their business, immersed in a small fragment of Liyue life. Now, however, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the vendor. If he closed his eyes he could still remember their face, and the way yours was lit up while they were talking to you.

“Their name is Eli.” You continued on, oblivious to the way Zhongli’s hand tightened around his teacup. “They said that they set up shop maybe… two weeks ago? It hasn’t been a very long time, and they’re still struggling a bit. I hope that they’ll be able to get their business off the ground, who knew that street food was such a cutthroat world.”

“The city of Liyue is full of people who might make their way in the world, doing whatever they can. Perhaps it is unsurprising that competition is second nature to Liyue’s citizens.” Zhongli replied, hoping his tone wasn’t too curt. If it was you didn’t seem to mind, nodding softly in agreement.

“Speaking of Liyue and stories, perhaps you would like to tell me the story you were going to tell? I very much doubt that Cor Lapis is the blood of Morax.”

“How humans love to spin their stories.” Zhongli chuckled.

But even as he began to speak of jewels and pressure and the minerals that lay deep beneath the earth a bit of him was still preoccupied by the vendor’s easy words and your smiling face.

The next time he ran into you with the vendor the pit in his stomach had only gotten heavier. Standing a little ways away he let the conversation between the two of you flow in and out his ear, frown slipping deeper the more he heard.

“I cannot believe that your stall nearly caught fire on your first day! How unlucky.”

“Even worse that I didn’t know who to try and tell about it. If I had known you were part of the Guild then I would’ve asked you.”

“Well next time there are troubles you can just send a message to the Adventurer’s Guild. We can’t have our citizens being injured on our watch.”

“You sound like true heroes. I wish I could do the sorts of things you did. Your commissions sound fascinating! I would love to see how you go about your day some time.”

“Really it’s nothing, most days it’s quite boring really, just like any other job. Still, it’s nice to know that people have an interest in what we do.”

“Oh certainly! I find what you do very interest– ”

“My dearest one!” Zhongli called out, unable to continue listening to the conversation, feeling somewhat guilty and certainly upset. You turned slightly, smile brightening as you saw your partner.

“Zhongli! So sorry that I didn’t meet you outside your office, I must’ve lost track of the time. Eli here was telling me all about their first days at work.”

“I’m sorry that I got out late. I hope that you did not have to wait awhile.”

“Oh not at all Zhongli, like I said I’ve just been standing here. You don’t need to feel bad at all!”

“I’m glad. Perhaps now we can go?”

Zhongli attempted to smile, but it felt a lot more like a grimace. You stared at him, face the picture of confusion. Taking a step forward you glanced one more time at Eli, shrugging apologetically. Before any more words could be passed between the two of you Zhongli grabbed onto your hand. Walking quite quickly he didn’t let go until the two of you were at your apartment and he could finally breathe again.

“Zhongli, what’s the matter with you?” You asked, closing the apartment door behind you. Walking back towards Zhongli, who stood there silently, you let your hands rest lightly on his shoulders. “You can tell me you know, I can tell you’re unhappy.”

“I have a confession.” Zhongli started, feeling somehow compelled to reveal his thoughts, as if keeping them locked away would only be dangerous.

“Yes?”

“I, I did not like the way that the vendor spoke to you.”

“Eli? But they were perfectly nice.”

“I do not mean that they were rude. They were perfectly cordial. I mean, when the two of you were speaking, I, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if there was a barrier between us in that moment. I, I did not like it.”

“Oh Zhongli.” You breathed out, an indulgent smile on your face.

Reaching up you planted fleeting kisses on the archon’s face, peppering his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, touch featherlight. It was a familiar gesture, one of comfort, one used in darker nights, when shadows dotted the periphery of Zhongli’s vision.

“Zhongli, I assume you know what jealousy is?”

“I know the term and what it means. I admit I am not personally familiar with the concept.”

“Well I am, so let me tell you. What you experienced, that was jealousy, plain and simple. I know it’s very uncomfortable. Jealousy can be such a messy feeling, it sticks everywhere. But it’s also normal. So you don’t need to worry. I promise that nothing will happen, and I promise that these feelings would go away. I also promise that I love you very much, so even if you feel these emotions, you don’t have to worry.”

“How could I ever worry about you?” Zhongli murmured, wrapping his arms around you, basking in your proximity.

The apology only came in the evening, after words and kisses and love had hung long enough in the air to dull the feelings that Zhongli had been carrying around. Now he lay there next to you, chin resting gently on your head, suddenly realizing that he’d most likely acted quite rudely.

“I’m sorry I ignored Eli.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand.” You murmured. “Though I’m not actually sure what got you riled up about them.”

“You are also a bit oblivious dearest one,” Zhongli let out a soft laugh, “it seems they were quite taken with you.”

“Were they?” You asked, tone betraying your surprise. You paused for a moment, as if trying to replay your interactions. “I never noticed. To be honest, I don’t think I could ever notice, not when I have you.”

“Thank you.” Zhongli whispered, oddly overcome by the confession.

As he lay awake, carding gentle fingers through your hair and listening to the even breaths of your sleeping form he pondered just how lucky he was. Precious gems might come from pressure and earth and chance. But you were more precious than all of them. And he’d never forget that.