#who sacrifices himself to save him from the powerful eldritch being after him

[swdgf]

certain qidian authors shld start a side hustle writing dnmei actually 🙂‍↕️

[flagellant]

my latest tabletop characters in chronological order:

-17 year old orphaned anarchist guild leader who ends up apotheosing as the god of their homeland and ends up taking the throne to rebuild it after an apocalyptic disaster

-farmboy becomes a soldier in a war against a double-apocalypse, fucks up some invading fairies hard and gets captured as a war trophy, spends the next 400 years in fairyland before the moon says she likes his vibe and breaks him out by turning him into a furry and giving him ultimate cosmic power, which he mostly uses to act as the ethics babysitter for a godlich whose special interest is civil engineering.

-fairy princess eldritch wildlife biologist whose mom is basically titania. it was a very complicated relationship for like 14 levels and it took literal reality-altering magic rituals to start fixing their relationship. she hates the anarchist aforementioned bc hes 17.

-perfect prettygirl daughter of social climbing mother is predestined to inherit the ultimate cosmic powers of becoming part of heaven's secret police. theres two factions of the secret police and she hates both of them.

-rich frat jock gains insight into the hidden occult world and immediately uses it to start a homoerotic frat/dinner club dedicated to shapeshifting and blood sacrifice. snip snip snip

-prometheus got turned into a fairy. a girl who makes things explode with her mind and her friends turned him into a different kind of fairy. then he became her dad. he also accidentally used his fairy mind control powers to cause a global anarcho-communist insurrection due to going viral on international news. 1 billion people were actively mind controlled by it. he was not allowed on tv again but he did get a twitter

-genetically engineered soldier wolfboy has his furry polycule fireclade KIA by a gay sexy pirate and then gets saved by a ghost space whale. he then does war crimes and everyone is soooo mean to him but hes soooo sad about it. and then he performs lobotomy on himself and implants his negative emotions into a shackled AI god which loves him and hunted down his best friend and soul mate to be her service animal.

-a wizard in a mech keeps trying to infiltrate the gay space gnostics and they keep telling him no. then he gets corrupted by the logic plague because he saw the name of god and has ultrasurgery performed on him with the help of a team of hyperqualified shackled AI gods and a mad doctor who has been trying to create anti-god supersoldiers and he was the first success. and the gnostics immediately wanted his cock onboard their snake ship. he never experienced consequences for any of his actions:)

-girl from a noble family of divine heroes is very very late to inheriting divine herodom and has soooo many opinions about this. she spent the last 6 months hunting down a weird fairy with some new friends and spent the first 5 of them pretending to be stupid jock so they wouldnt bother her. she has been trying to eat the fairy this entire time but it hasnt been working yet.

-a werewolf who is big and brown and hypermasculine gets turned into a werewolf and freaks out bc apparently everything supernatural is real and he was weird for not believing in any of it. he totally doesn't have any body image issues due to being a big hypermasculine brown man with anger/resentment issues and he is totally fine with how everyone assumes he's just a stupid violent meathead despite being a trained EMT actively going back to med school for his doctorate. he literally went to a supernatural therapist to vent about lycanthropy and got scared when she did actual therapy on him. he's so in his head about how everyone interprets him as Big Scary Brown Man that he doesnt realize he's drowning in transgender dogs who are actively barking for his attention. he would put on a collar and not realize its a sex thing. a spooky nightingale told him it saw him from across the ghost forest and liked his vibes because he was a murderer

[keaghasablog]

Thinking about cotl and like.. Narinder is a lot different than his siblings. Specifically I keep thinking about how he took his, arguably much more extreme, Eldritch form WITHOUT sacrifices and just by willing it himself. About how if him being the god of death doesn't come solely from the red crown and it's more like.. Death is inherently part of him? We see a few characters have abilities and such aside from the Bishops, specifically like the red Fox. What if even without the crown, Narinder is a reaper of sorts. A being of death, one who can bring it but doesn't have complete domain over it like he did when the crown helped him control his powers.

And, by extension. What if the lamb isn't a god of death after betraying Narinder, but what if instead the Lamb is something like a god of *justice.* Dishing out punishment to the bishops for both exterminating lamb kind but also for imprisoning Narinder, only to SAVE them from purgatory and indoctrinate them into their cult. Also the motif of wings and the lamb rising above, able to kill and spare and judge each individual. Offer second chances when they're deemed worthy.

Also, thinking about how being the sole conduit for the Red Crown's power would probably do some fun body horror stuff to the Lamb and Narinder would be one of very few to help them cope with it.

[chrometikaink]

Meet Lio! Another PC I've made because I just can't help myself.

He's a changeling sorcerer who was raised in an underground village which worshipped Mind Flayers, and was sacrificed to them as part of a cult ritual. He was resurrected, but lost all of his memeories, and hasn't quite been the same since....

(Expanded Bio below)

Li-Kthu AKA "Lio" 

Aberrant Mind Sorcerer  

Changeling  

Lio was born into an underground clan of changelings who have a symbiotic relationship with a small group of Mind Flayers. In exchange for their protection, the changeling's offer a child every 100 years to be a host for a juvenile illithid. When Lio was born, he was determined to be this centuries sacrifice. He was strictly raised to be a well-educated man, the Mind Flayer's determining on the most intelligent of hosts. There was a grand ceremony for Lio when he turned 20, lavish and extravagant and the clan celebrated his short life. After the formalities, the illithid larvae was inserted into his brain through his ear. Upon being implanted, it would feast on his brain and grow until it took over his body and turned into a Mind Flayer.  

Unbeknownst to the clan, the celebration was under the watchful eye of a group of rebels, who had caught wind of the inhumane practice. To save Lio, they needed to kill the illithid, however to kill the illithid, they needed to kill Lio. His head was smashed open and the larvae extracted. A specialist cleric travelling with the rebels was able to resurrect and restore Lio. But he was different when he came back. The Mind Flayer's eldritch powers had a lingering effect on him, and he now has similar magical powers, although in their infancy. His personality changed through the trauma of being murdered and resurrected, and he lost memory of his scholarly training. When in the heat of combat, Lio can sometimes feel himself slip into the evil sadistic nature of the Mind Flayer.  

Due to his sheltered upbringing, he does not hide his changeling appearance and appears in his true form at all times. He does not understand the terrified reactions from others. He has little understanding or want to understand social norms. He is now flight and airheaded, exploring the world wherever the breeze takes him.

Lio keeps the remnants of the dead illithid in a jar in his bag.  

[wiihtigo]

Could you talk more about sam and max being autistic idk I just like hearing your thoughts about it your doc was cool

you come to me on the day of my daughters wedding and ask me about sam and max autism headcanons, forcing me to open tumblr and start writing what ive been thinking recently about maxs autism in relation to him in 305

i talked about this in private a bit but i think 305 could be taken as an allegory for maxs giant autism and thinking you dont feel things the right way with ASD

-max turns into a giant horrible monster in 305, this could be taken as him literally seeing himself as a monster and the whole town, all their friends, see him as such and want him DEAD all except sam whos constantly vouching for max this entire episode. at the end when superego was like "wow! max is actually capable of self sacrifice! amazing!" sam says "told you so." very smug because he knew all along, he always knew max was capable of kindness and love because he sees it firsthand every day!

theyre partners and best friends, of course he knows him better than he knows himself. Literally in this case, where superego, personification of part of maxs brain, thinks hes not capable of feeling things in a normal, proper way, max doesnt think that about HIMSELF, superegos issue with max (maxs issue with himself lol) is that he thinks hes capable of more and max is just ignoring him he says specifically hes tried to push max towards the finer things in life and being more proper (max trying to push himself? talking about max and superego as separate when theyre essentially the same is so hard #HELP.) he thinks hes selfish and cruel and not capable of a selfless act.

theres even a line superego says to sam where he says "you of all people should be able to understand my frustration after years of being partnered with a creature driven by pure id" which is like. does max think sam gets frusterated with him and doesnt want him as a partner because of the way that he Is. max. this is a nice little parallel to sam just last episode having that thought "max is getting so powerful now soon he wont even need me :(" but thats getting away from my point a little. (veering into max depression discussion which is a whole can of worms on its own, but it is worth mentioning autism and depression often go hand in hand and some of maxs self worth issues can be attributed to feeling weird about his autism traits)

anyways of course max was capable of a selfless act, of course he would save sybil and her baby, he loves sybil and he loves babies and he has a lot of love in his little heart. so skipping ahead a bit to the biggest scene in sam and max that baffle and confuse millions, maxs reaction to coming back to sam.

a lot of people are confused by maxs nonchalance and casual retelling of the horrible events that apparently went down in his timeline where he had to kill his sam. (interestingly but a little off topic, he specifically says HE blew sam up, whereas in this tl, max killed HIMSELF, sam didnt do a thing. in fact he wouldve probably stayed trying to save him until they both blew up if superego hadnt convicned him itd be tooootally fine to leave. seriously sam its OK hes NOT going to blow up i promise. ok bye bye."

so max comes back, immediately tries to jump back into normalcy and jokes and feels unsure and uncomfortable when sam doesnt reciprocate. he looks confused when sam hugs him even. a lot of people are like "what the hell did he mean by this" but TBH as someone with ASD and lots of experience in the "getting bad news over the phone and then going to a funeral" pipeline i really felt a mind and soul connection with max there! this is mentioned somewhere int he sam and max bible for the cartoon but steve purcell writes something along the lines of "max sees things differently from anyone else" on the topic of his strange reactions to things. which is like. You have autism ->

theres an unskippable line in 305 right before you get to the endgame where sam says "why does max have tear ducts? i cant remember the last time ive seen max cry." and then immediately gets into maxs juxtaposed reaction to sams death to sams absolute MISERY over maxs. max might not feel grief in the way people would expect from a person. he might not even be sad. he might not feel things in the "proper" or "normal" way but that doesnt make him a 50 foot shambling eldritch monster, hes just wired differently. as someone with autism ive felt it too where i dont think i feel things in the right way. if something really sad and fucked up happens to me i dont feel sad and the only thing im immediately concerned with is feeling uncomfortable with watching the people around me crying which, as im typing this, makes me feel like a monster freak for being so cold and cruel, but thats the point im trying to get at, 305 could be read as an allegory for this exact feeling.. because at the end of the day max is just max and sam is happy to see him and accept him as he is. hes not a monster, hes just sams partner and best friend and its ok to be exactly the way he is without feeling the need to change

[ask-spider-man-61610]

So I think you’ve talked about your Doc Ock a bit on here... but have you ever encountered any other Ocks in other dimensions? How do they match up to yours?

Yes, I have. Doctor Octopus might not be exactly a universal constant, but it's certainly a common enough title that I've crossed paths with a fair number of them. I'm going to give a short little rundown of each of them, and why they should go to hell. This is gonna be a salty list. If you didn't want that, you should've come to someone else.

The Otto Octavius of Earth-1512 was the first alternate Ock I ever encountered. Unlike most of the Ocks on this list, I don't know or care what his deal is--I just spent an hour in my first ever alternate universe before I saw a man in armored green and yellow throwing cars around with mechanical tentacles. He was also working with the Green Goblin and holding civilians hostage at the time, which in my opinion is reason enough to put him in the ICU like I did. I've never been back to this universe and never will, but presumably he's just doing the same shit every month or so.

The Otto Octavius of Earth-8363, colloquially called God Ock because I guess we can't fucking help but stroke his ego, was the Ock I met during my first outing with what'd eventually be the Cluster. He's a weird edge case. First we fought a robotic duplicate of him, then his actual self after he'd done the dumbest thing I've ever seen an Ock do and integrated an extradimensional energy source into his fucking body in a bid for omnipotence. I suspect he was already basically dead when Gwen ripped the Shard out, but he had a backup personality on a secret hard drive and so we've met his AI self. He agrees it wasn't his smartest move. Still, fuck this guy. He apparently stabbed my alternate self in the back so he deserves what he got.

Oliver Octavius, of Earth-42711a, isn't a doctor. I refuse to call him Doctor Octopus, but he's calling himself that because he claims to be the son of Otto Octavius. Knowing Otto, I'm more than a little skeptical of that claim, but that doesn't change the fact that in a bid to be just like Daddy he dropped out of college to become a supervillain. When Melly noted that this plan was less than stellar he interpreted that as a personal betrayal and has sworn revenge on her. He's temperamental, idolizing of a man he's never met, and has an ego more fragile than sugar glass--and he's not even good at villainy. I walked into his lair, kicked his ass, and walked out again in less than five minutes. Oliver's pathetic. And he knows it, because he's scrambling to compensate with a desperation that anyone with half a brain can see is going to kill him very, very soon.

The Otto Octavius of Earth-22701 needs to fucking leave Morgan alone. The Peter Parker of that universe died like a century ago, and that Otto's engineered a way to stop aging so he doesn't even need to fight superheroes anymore. But no, he reads about a kid in New Orleans with my powers and decides that that's obviously his dead enemy having, I dunno, reincarnated or something. Instead of being the result of the spider-related experiments that he funded. I don't have a lot of respect for this Otto's intelligence. I've only met him in-person once, when I was going on the warpath and beating up everyone who's ever tried to kill Morgan, but for some reason having an actual Peter Parker knock two of his teeth out wasn't enough to deter him from his theory about Morgan being me. I'll try again as soon as I get a chance.

Odyssia Octavius, the Ock of Earth-777, is probably the least scientist and most mad of all the mad scientists here. Also the one who leans the hardest into the Octopus aesthetic, because alone among the Ocks she's a marine biologist. Now, unlike certain counterparts of mine I could mention, I actually don't give a fuck about her decision to serve an eldritch sea monster for power. Nor am I opposed to her overall goal--obviously we gotta save the environment, and obviously we're gonna have to fuck up some industries to make that happen. That's fine. My problems with her are more related to her habit of painfully twisting people she's got a grudge on into horrific monsters and then siccing said monsters on the populace. Even if that wasn't fucking abominable and evil beyond all recompense, it doesn't exactly convey the green message she's trying to go for. Maybe the Writhing One is modifying her logic to suit its own ends, using her as a puppet to get what it wants. Maybe she just fucking sucks. I've only ever spoken to her through the Internet, but if we ever meet face to face I'll be sure to ask which one it is right after I kick her ass and rip off big handfuls of that magic tattoo.

October Otto, the Doctor Octopus of Earth-2, is the only person in this list who I'm not inclined to attack on sight. It took me a little while to get to that point--when the me of Earth-2, Pax, introduced us I was pretty suspicious. But out of all the Ocks I've ever met, this is the only one who's not...nefarious. They're a little eccentric, more than a little shy, but overall a very well-meaning and selfless biologist. I'm glad I met them, even if their tentacles make me a little nauseous to think about. They and I still communicate occasionally, and after what happened to Pax I've been checking in with them to ask about their progress on a cure. This is one of the few people with whom I've ever felt the need to share my files on the Oz virus. I hope it does them good.

With the exception of October, all of these people are fucking awful. But none of them are as dangerous or as detestable as the Otto Octavius of Earth-61610.

The Otto I know is an unrivalled genius. His entire existence is devoted to biorobotics, and over the years he's integrated man and machine on a level that makes the Iron Man armor look like a remote-controlled action figure. He's modified his tentacles to counter my super speed, he's designed and redesigned a zillion different personal helpers, he's made himself the center of a technological superpower controlled solely by his mind. And unlike a lot of Ocks, he's not being manipulated by his tentacles. Nor was he driven insane by the accident that fused them to his body. No, this is a perfectly sane, rational prosthesis engineer who got so frustrated with the bounds of the law that he decided he had the right to start snapping necks.

He's a futurist, is the thing. A man with a grand vision of the technological utopia he could turn the world into, who thinks without a shadow of doubt that he knows what's best for the world and everyone in it, and who's decided that if you try to stop him from realizing that vision that the best thing to do is Remove you from the equation. Worse, he's written off massive swaths of the human race off as expendable--as little people whose lives are a perfectly acceptable sacrifice to bring about his future, who maybe even should be thanking him for the chance to finally mean something.

Every Octobot contains at least a few pieces of human brain. He kidnaps people, lobotomizes them, and integrates parts of their central nervous system into his systems to make his robots more adaptable and independent than purely mechanical systems could be. He's seeded mass-produced medicine with nanotech that hijacked the nervous system of the people who took it and turned them into unconscious parts of a worldwide neural network. On more than one occasion, he's tried to turn entire cities into his own personal laboratories, and everyone inside into lab rats.

Otto Octavius is a monster. No other Ock I've ever met even comes close.

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

101 Open MHA Gen Prompts

I had a very long ask game where people gave me fake titles and I came up with fic ideas to go with them.  Multiple people asked to use some of them as prompts, and some of my friends have lately maligned the lack of gen prompts out there, so I decided to compile them all into a single post.  Almost all of these are gen, aka not shipping, but you can do what you want I’m not your boss.  Everything is free and open to use WITH CREDIT, so have fun with my word vomit.

1. In Dreams I Had the Sun - Being the number one hero isn’t all it’a cracked up to be, Toshinori realizes early on

2. The Chainlink Fence that Held the Ocean - In his new book post-retirement, All Might opens up about his regrets, struggles with mental health, and his issues with the hero system as a whole.  The backlash is swift and intense.

3. Welcome to the Loud Silence - After an injury, Izuku is rendered deaf.

4. Water Since Turned Red - After a villain attack nearly kills All Might, the beach where Izuku used to go to find comfort now feels tainted.

5. all scrap left untouched is bound together - A group hero students who failed the provincial license exam for the third time, effectively ending their careers before they start, get together to take revenge on UA’s first years who beat them out.

6. You’ve saved more more times than you know - Times All Might saved people without his powers, just by being a cool, nice dude.

7. No Amount of Tragedy Can Justify Your Actions - A dying All for One tries to justify his centuries of cruelty to an uncaring Toshinori.

8. To Leave a Cage Locked - One for All is conscious and has a will of its own, one that doesn’t always line up with Izuku’s wellbeing.

9. Okay, who let in the Kraken? - Izuku is the reincarnation of an ancient eldritch horror.

10. keep us alive up above - Izuku and Shigaraki get trapped together somewhere.  Izuku knows he needs the villain’s help to survive and escape, but the other would rather they both die.

11. The world will revolve around me neither less - The ebbs and flows of AFO’s influence over the years.

12. More Roulette, Not Russian - Kids get their quirks swapped.

13. Patron Saints - Toshinori teaches a class about pre-quirk superhero comic characters and their influence.

14. Don't Come Back - Touya Todoroki’s first few weeks after a severe injury resulted in his father abandoning him.

15. The Blessed and the Fool - Toshinori meets up with a few of his ua classmates after retiring.

16. Not Your Sacrifice - Some of the other kids have started adopting some of Izuku’s self sacrificing habits and the teachers are concerned.

17. Break in the Storm - Villains use a power outage as an opening to break into ua.

18. One Day Those Consequences Will Finally Catch Up - Even though the teachers don’t take her concerns seriously, Inko saves every piece of evidence regarding people hurting her son.

19. a garden in their eyes - Izuku meets a fan who got injured after trying to step into a villain fight, just like he did, and it makes him question some things.

20. what could have been, if not for you - After Inko divorces him, Hisashi’s goes to the press to say All Might stole his wife and son.

21. Promised Misery - All Might finds out the severity of Bakugou’s bullying, and warns him he’s on thin ice with him.

22. Fly Up Higher, Blossom Brighter - Izuku has to write a paper for middle school about being positive, intercut with all the bullshit he has to deal with.

23. Libre Me from Hell - One of Izuku’s new quirks is spiral related.

24. No One to Blame but Yourself - Izuku’s kindness doesn’t extend to murderers, tragic backstory or not.

25. At Its Finest - Izuku accidentally gets involved in a hero commission coverup.

26. A Rising Issue - Izuku starts developing more severe side effects of his injuries.  He’s convinced he’s under the influence of a quirk, while the adults thing he’s finally gone too far hurting himself.

27. What you are in the Dark - Izuku usually keeps most of his anger to himself until he can’t.

28. nowhere to go - Inko moves into UA after their home was destroyed.

29. Something Without - My theory about the 2 OFA vestiges that are blurred out is they don’t approve of izuku as a successor.  Izuku tries to figure out why. 

30. Walking with a Ghost - Toshinori joins the OFA dreams while he’s in a coma.  He gets to reunite with nana, and is more open to Izuku about his past and feelings.  Part of his starts to wonder if it’s worth waking up, since he will die and join the others eventually.

31. Death By Crying - Izuku is affected by a quirk that will suffocate him if he expresses any emotion.

32. Justice is Subjective - The hero commission gets to Shigaraki before AFO does.  

33. Undo / Underdog - Death loop fic.  Izuku keeps reliving the day he met all might after being killed by the sludge villain.  he has to find a way to break the loop and survive, but he gets s little weaker every time he restarts.

34. Like Wildfire - A rumor that Izuku is All Might’s bio son picks up steam, and the characters have to decide whether to deny it but risk suspicion or play along and add a new layer to the lies protecting one for all.

35. Once Upon A December - All Might and Inko actually met in the past trope.

36. Some Legends Are Told - All Might’s first interview post-retirement.

37. Will The Real Mentor Please Stand Up - Aizawa considers himself the better teacher, but a lot of the kids seem to like All Might more.

38. I don't want the cure, I want the POISON! - Inko is killed in a hit and run, and Izuku becomes desperate to find the killer.

39. I will kill my heart before I dance on stage for these bigots - Izuku is interviewed as a rising star of UA, and the interviewer brings in some of his old bullies because they claimed to be his friends from middle school.  Izuku does not play along.

40. Split Ends - A quirk gives Izuku brief visions of what would have happened if he made different decisions.

41. Dreamless Sleep - A One for All dream leaves Izuku with a cryptic half-warning, and he desperately experiments to try and figure out how to trigger the visions to get the rest of it.

42. toxic flowers and pretty blades - Young Inko escapes the constricting life of her cruel wealthy family by becoming a vigilante.

43. The Suns we Orbit - Some of the other teachers believe Izuku is too codependent on Toshinori, and separate them for a time.

44. Submerged - Similar to those buried alive fics only someone’s in a box at the bottom of the ocean.

45. Deprive - Izuku also loses his stomach to an injury, and struggles to adjust to the necessary lifestyle changes.

46. The ashes fall like snow - Post Kamino cleanup.

47. Home will always be here - Inko cares for Izuku after he’s sent home due to “trouble at work study” but he refuses to clarify what that means.

48. Playing Favorites - A look at several times where Izuku was punished, while Bakugou got off scot free.

49. Elusive Dreams - Some kind of training or issue forces the kids to stay away for several consecutive day, and they start losing it.

50. Fracture - Izuku struggles through physical therapy after a severe injury that leaves his hero career in question.

51. Starlight, Starbright - Space cadet au

52. Someone in Your Corner - Gran Torino looking after Nana, Toshi, and finally Izuku through the years.

53. I cast magic missile into the darkness - Generic “the gang plays d&d” fic.

54. One Month At A Time - Izuku breaks a limb, and has to let in heal naturally over the course of several months.

55. Head Above Water - Izuku runs out of his pain meds and can’t get access to more doses for a while, so he has to endure not only the pain, but the withdrawal symptoms.

56. Are you going to leave a path to trace - All Might uses a new strategy to try and get Izuku to be less self sacrificial: what about all the young kids who are going to look up to him?

57. The View from Halfway Down - Izuku realizes that a risky move has just landed him with a potentially life threatening injury, but the fight it still going.

58. The Dust Bites Back - A villain All Might defeated early in his career is back and out for revenge.

59. The Absence of your Worth - Nighteye thinks he’s put together a rock solid case for why izuku isn’t worthy of One for All.  All Might’s response is to ask if he has something against quirkless people.

60. Behind the Screens Nobody is Afraid - All Might explains some of the context of his most popular hero videos to Izuku.  They are much more tragic than the media has spun them in hindsight.

61. Under the Light of the Moon - Someone gets turned into a werewolf.  And I ain’t talking the wattpad piss shit.  I’m talking full-on back-breaking monstrous transformations into a bloodthirsty abomination set to Bad Moon Rising.

62. some dreams were made to be broken - Bakugou crosses a line and finally gets expelled.

63. You Say You're Into Closure - Izuku finally beats Bakugou in a one on one fight fair and square, but Bakugou is a sore loser.

64. Something or Someone Missing - AU’s memories of Izuku get wiped, but those closest to him can’t help but feel an absence.

65. Too Little Too Late - Izuku’s father returns to find he’s been replaced.

66. Collecting Dust - Inko goes through the stuff Izuku didn’t take to the dorms.

67. Where the souls of wanderers go - Toshi meets up with a retired hero support group.

68. Fragility of Trust - Suspected traitor au

69. no one answered - Izuku is trapped in a cell in a building that’s collapsing in slow motion due to a quirk.

70. Eye of the Storm - One of the other kids has a panic attack for the first time between public appearances.  izuku has never seen from from the outside.

71. To Whom It May Concern - The kids find a mysterious collection of letters from previous students hidden in the ceiling of the classroom.  Some are ominous, some are incomprehensible.  Aizawa has no answers.  They enthusiastically go to try and solve the mystery within, but that excitement quickly diminishes the more they find out.

72. Of Popsicles and Ponytails - All Might gets in a discussion with the other teachers about whether the Clark Kent glasses thing would actually work.  All Might bets them it does, so he goes around town with no disguise other than his hair being up, and no one bats an eye.

73. All Men are Not Born Equal - Word gets out to the public that izuku used to be quirkless.  Everyone finds out just how deep anti-quirkless sentiments run when some begin to question whether a quirkless kid should be at ua, regardless of whether or not he has a quirk now.

74. Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies - Something about encountering death in person for the first time being the dividing line between child and adult.

75. Sins of the Father - All for One has had many children over the centuries, and has made numerous attempts to groom them into the ideal heir with several different methods.  None of them worked though.

76. Where The Dead Come To Rest - The kids come home after a long, grueling mission where they saw some shit, and are too tired to process what they went through.  They take off their gear for plain clothes, then sit in the common room in silence long into the night, not wanting to open themselves up but also not wanting to be alone.

77. Rivalry - Nighteye tries to pit Izuku and Mirio against one another.  It goes right over Mirio’s head, but Izuku becomes convinced the other boy is in on Nighteye’s plan to wear him down until he gives up One for All.

78. A Subtle Language - All Might and Nana never said out loud that they loved each other, but little things told them that they did.  All Might hopes to pass a similar love down to his own successor.  But Izuku is very different than himself as a kid, and he needs to learn a new subtle language of affection.

79. It’s Gone - One for All stops working one day.

80. A Sight For Sore Eyes - All Might looking after Izuku in the aftermath of the second movie.

81. Loose Lips (sink ships) - Bakugou blurts out something about One for All during a rage, so the rest of the class jump on him and Izuku for answers.

82. No Expectations - Word gets out that All Might is going to choose a successor.  None of the theories or speculation online resemble Izuku in the slightest.

83. Eden was Only a Garden - Izuku gets hit with a quirk that erases some of his most traumatic memories, but in doing so loses part of who he is.

84. Run it Down - With all Izuku’s new quirks and his incredible skill, some of the other students with similar powers (Iida, Sero, Uraraka) start to feel like izuku is upstaging them.  And it affects their friendship.

85. Fool's Gold - Bakugou grows even more jealous of Izuku having One for All, and his relationship with All Might.  He thinks that if he could just prove himself to be more worthy, All Might would change his mind and name him his successor.  But in reality, he ends up jeopardizing the relationship they already have.

86. somewhere down the road - The final deadline for Nighteye’s predictions passes, and All Might lives.  He debates telling Izuku, as even though it would be a weight off the boy’s mind, he doesn’t want to jinx it.  He will still die eventually after all.

87. Just For You - All Might has certain rules and boundaries for fan interactions that he completely ignores for Izuku.

88. if these walls could talk (their whispers would be maddening) - Montage of training accidents in a ‘cursed’ ua gym

89. If Only I Could... - Nighteye tells Mirio about One for All, including that he thinks he’s more deserving than Izuku and he plans to pressure him into giving it up.  Mirio struggles with the knowledge that his mentor, someone he respected more than anything, only saw him as a replacement for All Might, meanwhile watching Izuku strain under the pressure of that mentor’s impossible expectations.

90. This is a Test Designed to Provoke an Emotional Response - shameless Blade Runner AU

91. Once and for All - Retelling of the Superman story “What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice, and the American Way?” with All Might.  Some new heroes use much more aggressive and violent tactics against villains while also upstaging All Might.  That, and there general approval from the public cause All Might to question his moral code.

92. Sitting In The Rain - Tsuyu likes to just sit out in the rain sometimes.  Not do anything, just sit there.  Some friends decide to join her.

93. At Sundown - Mysterious creatures start attacking ua every night.  The gang works tirelessly during the day to find the cause and a solution, while defending their school and each other at night.

94. The 1000th time's the charm - Uraraka has been practicing a new move in secret but they just can’t get it right.  She wants it to be perfect before showing it off.  But one attempt gets her seriously hurt while training alone at night in one of the gyms, and she’s too hurt to get up to the phone to call for help.

95. Sunflower Seeds - All Might attempts to start a garden as a new hobby.

96. What It Means To Be Human - Sun god Toshi starts living among people.

97. Eyes on Me - All Might teaches Izuku some unarmed fighting moves to defend himself from bullies.

98. one remains - Izuku has developed all but one of the quirks he’s slated to, and he has no idea what it will be.  Anxiety ensues.

99. Come Back Home - Izuku vanishes from campus and everyone assumes he was kidnapped, but in reality he ran away to try and clear his head after a depressive spiral.  He goes by train as far away as he can until he comes to his senses and calls the others.

100. I Won - Izuku accidentally managed to kill Shigaraki during a skirmish, and while everyone around him praises his heroics, he struggles to deal with the fact that he killed someone.

101. Ivory Tower - All Might grapples with how much izuku suffered as a quirkless person, how he could have done more for quirkless rights in his time as a hero, and how now people may not care as much because he’s retired.

Reminder to credit me if you use any of these prompts, and a special thanks to everyone who submitted titles!

[edge-lorde]

the religion of the galactic horde

“You seem reluctant to help me. But I only wish to use your weapon to bring peace to the darkest corners of the universe. (Glimmer: Peace? If you activate the Heart of Etheria, there will be no one left.) Yes. No war, no pain. Old worlds swept aside, a new beginning for the universe.” --Horde Prime explaining his motivations to Glimmer

the horde in shera was definitely inspired by Christianity and uses a lot of its imagery, the most iconic being the baptism scene. it certainly gives off the vibes of a christian or christian adjacent cult, but what is its actual doctrine? i have some thoughts about that. 

first here are what i consider to be the 3 main differences between real christianity and the horde: 

Their jesus didn't ascend to heaven. He's still with them.

They don't have a larger creator god. They worship horde prime like he is a living god but they don't believe that he created the universe.

They have no focus on the afterlife

this is going to be long.

before i begin heres the sparknotes version of christianity for anyone not familiar. I am not evangelizing this, just think of it as LORE. 

Once upon a time there was a guy named Jesus. He was the son of the one true god, who both created everything in the universe, is everywhere and knows everything, and controls the afterlife. Jesus is god born as a mortal person, sent by god to teach all of humanity the errors of their evil ways so they can repent and go to the good afterlife when they die. There're two afterlives, a good one and a bad one, heaven is the good one and its run by god and his army of angels, which are divine beings that god can send to earth to do things. The bad one is called hell. 

Anyway, in his time on earth jesus was the only person ever to never do anything bad ever (called sin). He tried to teach people how to be good but was Too Good for this Cruel World and was killed. 3 days later he came back from the dead, proving his divinity. Some time after that however, he ascended into heaven without dying, telling his followers to spread the word because hes going to be coming back. Christians today are still awaiting his return. In the meantime, christians follow his teachings left behind in holy texts. 

The crux of christianity is to get to heaven when you die, and this can only be done by following the teachings of jesus christ, believing in god, and believing that jesus was the son of god. Its a given that everyone will do bad things at some point in their lives so you're supposed to pray to god and ask for forgiveness regularly and if you really mean it then god will forgive you. 

thats the basics. 

to my first main point from above, if we posit that horde prime is the jesus equivalent of the horde religion, because hes treated as a living god, his goal is to spread his philosophy throughout the universe, then in the horde religions jesus never ascended into heaven. this would be like if jesus in our world rose from the dead and just picked up where he left off, and never died after that and was alive today. that would be pretty good proof of divinity. 

to my 2nd point, theres nothing in the show that suggests that horde prime thinks that he created the universe. this means that he did not get his divinity from anywhere but inside himself, hes not claiming that hes the rightful ruler of the known universe for any other reason besides his ideas are the best. 

the 3rd point is that the show does show horde prime or the horde caring one bit about the afterlife, save for one line from wrong hordak.

"Brother, I hope you, too, are full of only love for Horde Prime and have no crippling doubt eating at your soul."

meaning that they have the concept of the soul. which is very interesting and ill get to it, but on the whole the hordes focus seems to be on the here and now. this is a huge departure from christianity because chrisitanity is all about getting to the afterlife. that is the reason that christians are supposed to follow christ and recruit as many people as possible to do the same, because if they dont, they or other people will supposedly go to hell when they die. i say supposedly because at funerals, even if the person who died wasnt a believer, in my experience no christian would ever ever ever insinuate that someone went to hell. 

but the difference still stands. following real christian ideology is supposed to have benefits for the individual in the afterlife, while in the horde religion salvation seems to only be found by submitting to prime in this life and being either a tool that he can use to further his goal of purifying the universe or by letting him remove you from it. 

on top of all that, horde prime has the hive mind, which he uses to control the thoughts of all his followers. this means that theres no room for a bible study, no need of a holy text at all in fact, and no room for interpretation. horde prime delivers orders to your brain directly and can tell if you think anything out of line. real Christianity does have the idea that a sin that you just think about doing is as bad as actually doing it, but in the horde these thoughts can be easily discovered and punished. 

the horde religion seems to me to be a strangely secular version of christianity with only the bad parts remaining; the control, the blind faith, the certainty that you are right and everyone else is wrong, the not questioning authority. with none of the good aspects like community, and good deeds. it is a cult in the truest sense of the word, a religion that begins and ends with one person only, that person being horde prime.

so, if you take horde prime out of the equation, what, if anything, would be left? 

i find the plight of the horde clones here to be the most interesting. we know that they do have thoughts about their religion, as it was hordaks belief that he could earn his way back into horde primes god graces that kept him going all those years in despondos, and wrong hordak is distraught when he discovers that horde prime lied about krytis. 

unlike both the chipped people we see in the show and real religious converts, the clones were born into this cult that values blind obedience only, and have no prior ideology or cultural identity to fall back on when they are taken out of it. 

so to answer this question, i must add some conjecture to horde primes backstory and how the clones see themselves in horde primes universe. I already wrote up a brief backstory idea for horde prime/the clones and have it posted on here somewhere. I'm not going to dig it up but you could probably find it in the #horde prime tag on my blog if you dig hard enough. 

To summarize it though, I have it as horde prime was once a regular (bad) dude who became a cult leader under the premise of preaching peace --> he becomes disillusioned with people and even his own followers because he doesn't actually like people, he likes manipulating them. --> this and the power of being a cult leader go to his head and he starts to think that he is the only person in existence capable of living a moral life and everyone else needs to be saved from themselves, the world would be a better place if he could just make everyone's decisions for them. --> he somehow gets a hold of the technology needed to set up the hive mind, be it by inventing it himself, stealing it, finding it, or being gifted it. 

I'll pause here to address the theory that horde prime was originally an eldritch being that simply possessed a dude who would become the template for the clones. I think there's enough stuff in the show that this is a valid read and might even be canon but i don't really care for it. For me, what makes horde prime a compelling villain is that he's a very human evil, so having him actually be an evil demon thing instead of a really bad but believable dude who got near ultimate power weakens his character. BUT, i’m not going to address it in my comic so i'll leave it open as to whether he's got that going on or not. If he is, the clones don’t know about it and neither they nor the other characters have any way of discovering it. IF he is though, it would happen here. I could see it being a cool idea for him to get the hive mind from the eldritch being that would then possess him and haunt his lineage for time immemorial as a deal with the devil sort of thing, but he has to be a bad person before that.

Anyway he gets the hive mind--> he gets all of his followers to chip themselves --> gets those people to chip everyone else on his home planet --> use his planet wide army to harvest all resources on the planet and build his first space fleet and take to the skies and start his conquest--> realize that if he is to succeed hes going to need to both become immortal and find a steady source of new followers because chipped people die eventually and he doesnt care about people enough to figure out a way to keep a self sufficient population of followers alive, he just wants people around to adore him and do his bidding--> invents his cloning system-->

and heres the big one,

his original body has to die so he can upload his consciousness into a new clone.  

and THAT, to the clones, would be the moment that horde prime becomes a god.

his reliance on the hive mind and vast network of followers are what give him his godly abilities, but just as the horde clones could not exist without being cloned from horde prime, so too could horde prime not exist as he does in the show without them. 

i see it as both a christlike sacrifice and a cyclical system of debt and sacrifice. horde prime dies for our sins, so that he might continue to purify the universe so that there will be no more death and more clones will be born, while the clone hes possessing has to essentially die by giving himself up entirely to become the new prime so all this can happen too, and to repay primes death. not all clones can become the next prime however, but all must be ready to die for him, hence horde prime having clone infantries despite also having robots he could send instead. 

i dont have clear thoughts about what the green goo is, but horde primes words about his brothers lending him their life force go along with this idea. the clones give him theyre life force, so he can give it back to them.

another interesting aspect of this is that prime always portrays himself as a brother to his followers, never a father as christ is portrayed as in christianity. i know this is from hordak and horde prime being actual brothers in the 80s show but ive seen this trope come up a few times in media before, where a man raises a kid but has them call him their brother instead of dad. it seems so deliberate. because a parents job is to take care of you, but a sibling, might take care of you sure, but thats not their job. its like hes deliberately trying to place himself on the same level as his ‘sibling’ so he can demand the same amount of respect you would give to a parent without taking on the responsibility to not... ya know... screw them over in the head? idk it seems very slimy to me. but that says more about prime as a character than how the clones see him.

and we still have the concept of the soul to fit in here somehow, and do they have an afterlife? im going to say no to the afterlife. theres just not enough in the show to go off of and everything that we do know about horde prime points to him only caring about himself in life. HOWEVER, there is nothing more quintessentially christian than the concept of hell and i think that will be of use here. 

since the creation of the clones is tied with the creation of their religion, this would put the clones themselves less as allegories of people who need to be saved and more as the horde version of angels. in my telling here, horde prime views all people who do not submit to his will as net negatives to the universe who have to be removed for peace to exist, so by this view the chipped people are the saved, the people that horde prime kills are the sinners, and his military campaign is one long apocalypse slowly working its way through the universe, with the clones carrying out his righteous judgement. but the afterlife isnt involved in this, so even if some chipped people are left alive, eventually they will all die out, and then it will be just horde prime and is clones in a perfect, peaceful starless sky, and thats what heaven is. 

getting to heaven is the main goal of real christianity and it is the same in horde religion, but heaven isnt a place in the horde cosmology, its a physical goal that has to be created. not all clones will make it to heaven of course, because most will die before they reach total destruction of the universe but the clones arent supposed to think of themselves as individuals anyway. they have to be willing to die for horde prime and die for the cause or be cast out and thats hell. 

i dont see prime as someone who would kill his own followers outright too often even though he could. plus they arent supposed to value their individual lives the same way normal people do anyway it doesnt seem like a real punishment, they need something worse than simple death to fear. so by my view hell for the clones is separation from prime. it can be in life or death. no matter how bad it is in the horde being on the outside of it has to seem worse, and thats where the concept of the soul comes in. when one is a part of the hive mine, their soul is with prime. they are not supposed to have a will or any thoughts beyond love for prime, its essentially the same as not having a soul but they think of it as being at peace. being cast out is to be never at peace and would be told to them as being the worst possible thing that could ever happen to someone because it corrupts the soul. 

“a lot of unpleasant things happen in the horde so just imagine how terrible it must be outside of it! you cant because i protect you from that. now get in the goo, this is for your own good” - horde prime probably 

this is why outsiders are so resistant to submitting to primes light and also why its ok to kill them, in the hordes view. 

so, to start wrapping thigs up, there is no horde without horde prime. the religion starts and ends with him. because he is supposed to be the only person ever to be able to make true moral and just decisions, without him is followers cant take any actions without worrying that they are going against primes will. since they have no holy text they cant extrapolate and try to figure it out either. its up in the air whether or not they are going to find a way to get the horde to make the jump from cult to regular religion.

its late i got to go to bed now

[infinite-xerath]

Runeterra Retcons 4: Varus

Unlike the other Champions I’ve covered, Varus’s history is surprisingly straightforward. He was released all the way back in 2012 and, as far as I can recall, was the first Champion to ever receive any sort of major promotional material in the form of a short comic. He’s very straight-forward in both concept and design: a man willing to sell his soul, his very humanity, for revenge on the people who took everything from him. Given that this was before Kalista was added to the game, Varus had little choice but take matters into his own hands by bargaining with a vaguely-defined Eldritch being who would give him the power he needed in exchanged for taking over his body.

Original lore here

Varus’s lore is a very traditional revenge story, albeit with a slightly interesting twist in that he is the maker of his own tragedy. Varus opted to place his duty over the well-being of family and, in the process, was unable to even TRY to protect them while his village was being reduced to burning rubble. Out of grief and rage Varus turned to bargaining with the very entity he fought so hard to keep confined now that he no longer has anything to lose.

I and many others liked Varus’s story, and to be honest, Riot could have honestly just kept him more-or-less the same when they updated him post-retcon. Just remove the mention of the League and maybe better-define what the black flames were, and you’d be good. In fact, Riot technically did the former, as his second lore is basically identical save for removing any mention of the League of Legends.

Now, it’s at this point that things start to get a little more complicated. Now, if you want a more comprehensive breakdown of the Darkin and their history, I advise you go check out the part centered around Aatrox and his long and convoluted history, but tldr: the Darkin were a race of beings of whom only five remained, and it was later confirmed with Rhaast that they’re specifically a race of living weapons with the ability to possess whoever wields them. Now, while Varus was specifically possessed by an ominous black flame called Pallas, many drew parallels between him and the other Darkin characters, especially since Varus’s also seemed to be alive.

Given that the flames were never really elaborated on or given a proper origin story, Riot decided that it would probably be best to just go ahead and retcon Varus into being a Darkin as well, and nobody had any real qualms with this. It was a common fan theory for years, so why not? Just change the story a bit so that the flames were actually just a Darkin bow all along and boom, you’ve pretty-much done all you needed to properly fit Varus into the new post-reboot Runeterra.

Well, apparently Riot did not feel this way, as it was with Varus’s 2017 retcon that they decided to finally give fans a proper origin story for who and what the Darkin were. That origin story goes a little something like this.

Alright, so Varus is now an alien. They decided to make Varus himself the Darkin, rather than the man who would later claim the bow. OK, that’s fine. I mean, the whole alien thing is kinda weird and still very vaguely explained, but again, my full thoughts on the history of the Darkin as a whole can be seen in the Aatrox analysis. What I think is most important here is that Riot made an attempt, however sloppy, to explain who and what the Darkin were and finally give context to why Aatrox and Rhaast are such big threats to the world.

Now, it’s the next change that got a lot of controversy around it. Rather than just change the name of the Ionian guard who let Varus possess him, the guy who lost his family to the Noxian invasion, Riot decided to replace him with a pair of entirely new characters: Valmar and Kai, a duo of gay Ionian hunters.

Now, I’m just gonna get this out of the way: I’ve got no real qualms about gay relationships in media. Hell, we have a few LGBT Champions in the game already, and even some in the broader expanse of the world. My main gripe comes from the introduction of Valmar and Kai themselves, and how they’re just sort of these… Nothing characters. I mean, in the first lore, we knew who Varus was. We may not have known him well, but we could at least get a general sense of his character: he was proud of his skill, committed to the duty given to him even at the risk of his family, but ultimately succumbed to grief and rage when his decision caused him to lose everything he held dear. Varus was a good man warped by the loss of his home and loved ones, and that made him a fairly compelling character.

Valmar and Kai are… Two gay hunters. That’s it. That’s literally all we know about them from the bio alone. I mean, yes, Riot released a comic to further expand on these characters, but if your answer to the questions raised in your story are “go and read this extra supplementary material for context,” that’s… A problem.

On the topic of supplementary material, Riot also released a music video about Varus. It’s… OK. I personally don’t care much for the song but the visuals alone are really well-done. It’s supposed to detail the conflict between Valmar, Kai and Varus, but most of the context behind it is explained in the comic and short story.

Honestly, Varus’s retcon is kind of baffling. I mean, he didn’t receive a visual rework, his kit remained pretty-much the same as it’s always been, and he doesn’t even have any new voice lines in-game to indicate that he’s three different guys all stuck in one body. In fact, people who play him in-game without reading the lore probably wouldn’t ever be able to guess as much. Riot went to so much effort promoting Varus’s lore update with a music video, a new bio, a new color story, and a three-part comic, but they really haven’t changed anything about him in the game itself. They put more effort into him than they do for most ACTUAL Champion VGU’s. So… Why?

Admittedly, this is where I’m going to delve a bit into conspiracy theory territory, but I genuinely believe this is a case of Riot trying to push League’s first openly queer relationship. Seriously, Valmar and Kai are the first time a character in League has been confirmed gay IN THE LORE ITSELF and not just through a random tweet. Now, the word “pandering” gets thrown around a lot these days, and I don’t really like to use it, but it really does feel like Valmar and Kai were added JUST to have a confirmed gay couple in the lore.

The fact that they’re not even acknowledged IN THE GAME ITSELF really makes the whole thing feel like an attempt to just appeal to the LGBT crowd, though I’ve seen plenty of people in that community react… Less than positively to the portrayal. I mean, two gay guys are literally trying to hold back a corruptive, even influence with the power of love. I don’t wanna delve too much into the political side of things here, but that’s honestly about as cliché and stereotypical as you can get. Fans in general were extremely displeased that the man they knew as Varus, this genuinely tragic figure from the original lore, was replaced by two guys who’s only defining character trait is how much they apparently love each other.

Apparently, these complaints came through loud and clear, as Riot would update Varus one final time after deciding to retcon the whole alien plotline. So, let’s have a look at how his current, canon bio handles him.

Alright, well… Riot heard the complaints, but whether or not they fixed him is another matter. It seems like they tried to give Varus back his original origin story, basically making the archer we new from his first bio Shuriman. The problem is that there’s significantly less context for him now; we don’t know anything about his family, we don’t know why the temple he’s guarding is so important, and the story never even explicitly states that his family died!

I guess it’s implied because the Ascended acknowledged his “sacrifice,” though him being rewarded by becoming a demigod doesn’t quite have the same impact as exchanging his life and soul for a shot at revenge. On top of that, Varus seems pretty quick to give up on the whole “sacred duty” thing, despite the story claiming that being the thing he “he held above all else.” It all feels like a botched effort to mix his original bio with the new Ascended lore that Riot tied in with the Darkin.

Then, of course, there’s Valmar and Kai, who are… Still just gay hunters. They haven’t been expanded on at all. They helped drive the Noxians off from their home, Kai was apparently wounded, and Valmar decides that dipping his lover in an ominous pool of evil to save his life is a bad idea. Seriously, the bio states that they “inadvertently” freed Varus, but there was nothing accidental about it! There was no bargain, they weren’t tricked, it was literally just one guy making a stupid decision that got him fused with his lover and an ancient evil being.

Also, can we address the fact that Varus still wants to avenge the destruction of his race? Who does he want to avenge? The other Ascended? The Ascended who literally warred with each other for centuries? The same Ascended that HE FOUGHT AGAINST during the civil war for control of Shurima? Did Riot just… Forget that he’s not an alien anymore in that brief paragraph? They stated earlier that he was a cruel, merciless killer who just went to slaughter whoever he was told to slaughter, so for some reason I don’t feel like he’d care all that much about his “race” being felled. Oh, and there’s also still the unnamed warrior queen, who I THINK is meant to be a precious Aspect of the Sun? It’s never really stated in the bio itself.

Alright, enough ranting. Varus’s current lore suffers from one major fault: it is trying way too hard to tell several stories all at once. It tells the story of Varus as a human, Varus as an Ascended, Varus as a Darkin, the “story” of Valmar and Kai, and how they got fused with Varus. The writers tried way too hard to cram everything into a single bio and, as a result, nothing is elaborated on. Nothing is really explained, we don’t get to know the characters who are involved in the gestalt entities now known as Varus, and reason for his current existence AS a gestalt entity are just kinda silly, if we’re being honest.

So, how can we fix this? I admit: this was a tough one. There were a lot of different directions I could go when rewriting Varus’s lore, but I decided to take the Kayn approach, where the human host in the focus of the bio. Originally, I did have a whole bio written out for Varus and how he became an Ascendant, but I ultimately realized that I was going to run into the same issue Riot did: trying to cram way too much into a single character overview. So, instead, I chose to focus in more on the story of Valmar and Kai, and how the Darkin Bow was freed after ages of confinement. Without any further ado, please enjoy.

For years, the Darkin Bow has remained confined within the Ionian city of Pallas. The bow’s true nature has long been lost to time, though legends say it holds the spirit of an ancient god from a vast desert land. Others claim that the bow itself is something much older and viler than history itself dares to remember. Whatever the truth may be, the people have Pallas have guarded the bow for generations, choosing only their most skilled warriors from the task. Among them, none seemed better-suited for the task than Kai and Valmar.

Kai and Valmar were inseparable since they were children. Kai, a prodigy marksman, was known for his sense of humor and fierce resolve. Though infamous for his pranks, Kai would never hesitate to step in and defend someone in need, no matter how poorly the odds stood in his favor. By contrast, Valmar had trained in the ways of swordsmanship since he was old enough to grip a blade. Diligent and studious, Valmar was what many considered a model samurai in the making, yet he was also unendingly curious about the world and the many wonders it held.

At a glance, Kai and Valmar seemed near-total opposites, yet the two formed an unbreakable bond from the day they met. Kai would often accompany Valmar to explore the surrounding wilderness, only for Valmar to shelter Kai whenever one of his pranks went awry. As each boy matured, mastering the bow and blade respectively, their bond became something deeper than simple friendship. Valmar was a part of Kai, and Kai a part of Valmar. Neither was complete without the other, and so it came as little surprise that when Valmar was chosen to guard the Temple of the Bow, Kai soon followed.

Together, Valmar and Kai drove off many would-be thieves seeking to claim the cursed weapon’s power as their own. The two fought as one, each arrow from Kai’s bow in perfect sync with every swing of Valmar’s blade. Eventually, they came to be known as the Locust and Mantis, for the whirring of Kai’s arrows and the elegance of Valmar’s blade. It was believed that none could stand up to their combined might… Until the Noxians came.

From their post at the temple, Valmar and Kai watched in horror as the invaders stormed their home, setting fires and killing anyone who dared to stand in their way. For the first time, two warriors found themselves at odds; Kai wished to help defend the people of Pallas, but Valmar insisted on protecting the temple. In the end, neither had much choice in the matter, for the Noxians soon had them cornered on the temple steps.

Valmar and Kai fought for hours, their combined might slowly waning against the invaders’ onslaught. Kai’s strength was the first to give out, yet before death could reach him, Valmar stepped in the way to shield his partner from the blow of a Noxian axe. Kai watched in horror as Valmar fell to the ground, lifeless. Enraged, Kai fired all the arrows he had left before taking up Valmar’s sword, slaying the Noxian forces assaulting the temple. Even still, he knew it would not be long before more came, seeking to claim the forbidden bow.

In that moment, Kai heard a voice calling to him from within the temple. It promised him vengeance and the strength to fight back. Driven by rage and grief, the wounded archer let the voice guide him inside, just as more Noxian invaders began their ascent up the temple’s stairs. It was there, in the darkness, that Kai at last set eyes upon the cursed weapon he and Valmar spent years protecting: a bow thrumming with unearthly power. Kai hesitated for only a moment before grasping the bow, letting its power wash over him.

Kai’s mind was filled with images and thoughts not his own: a vast desert empire, a man made a god, betrayal, war, and finally, imprisonment. These were the memories of Varus, an Ascended being who devoted his life to serving Shurima, only to be abandoned in his time of need. His bitterness and hatred had summoned the Darkin Bow, granting Varus the opportunity to seek revenge on those who had wronged him. In the end, Varus was sealed within the bow, becoming one with it… And now, he would become one with Kai as well.

As Varus’s memories filled Kai’s mind, the Darkin’s power corrupted his body. Varus prepared to usurp Kai’s form entirely, but to his surprise, the Ionian’s drive for vengeance matched his own. Kai was prepared to give anything to avenge Valmar, his fallen half, yet he would do so with his own hands rather than entrust the task to a fallen god.

Even as their minds fought, the archers’ new, fused body moved on pure instinct. One by one, the Noxian forces in Pallas were felled by crimson arrows born of pure malice. Seeing the corpses of his kinsmen and the ruins of his home only fueled Kai’s rage, which in-turn empowered the Darkin in his grasp. Finally, the two archers came to an agreement as the Noxians fled: Varus would lend Kai his strength, in exchange for the Ionian’s body once Kai’s vengeance was complete.

Now on borrowed time, Kai has but one objective: to find and kill everyone he holds responsible for the destruction of his home and the death of his partner. To Varus, however, the destruction of Noxus is but the first step toward a much larger goal: revenge against the gods who betrayed him, and the world that sealed him away…

So, that’s my take on Varus’s lore. Now, the first thing you’ll probably notice is that I only have one of the lovers being possessed. Frankly, I felt that this was probably the best direction to go with; Riot still hasn’t updated Varus in any meaningful way to include Valmar and Kai in any of his voice lines, and something tells me that, being owned by a certain Chinese company, they probably never will. Given the circumstances, I figured it was probably best to give him a backstory more befitting of his in-game voice lines, which still portray Varus as a man on borrowed time who’s giving what little he has left in pursuit of vengeance.

Even so, I decided to try my hand at fleshing out Valmar and Kai. The first thing I did was change them from random hunters to trained soldiers tasked with guarding the temple. This not only harkens back to Varus’s original lore, but it also gives them more of a reason to stand their ground against the Noxian invaders. I also wanted to flesh out their personalities a little more, because I’ll be completely honest: I legitimately couldn’t remember which one was which even after skimming back through the comic. I forgot that Kai was the one who was injured in the original story, not Valmar, but quite frankly it matters so little given how poorly their characters are fleshed out.

Now, as for Varus himself… Well, like I said: I did have a whole bio written out for him that ties into the new Darkin lore I introduced in my Aatrox analysis, but I decided to focus the story more on Valmar and Kai and only have that backstory briefly alluded to. A tad disappointing, I know, but hey, it’s still more than what we learned about Rhaast from Kayn’s bio.

So, that was Varus, the Arrow of Retribution, otherwise known as Riot’s botched attempt at LGBT representation. He’s a far cry from what he started out as, and yet, hilariously, he’s really not on account of them still not updating anything about him in-game. In that respect, the Varus you play as in League isn’t really even the same character(s) presented in the lore. While I still firmly believe that his backstory never needed to be changed so drastically in the first place, I least wanted to present the potential that this direction held, and how badly the opportunity was squandered.

Oh well. At least the music video still looks nice.

[river--glass]

Reylo Fic Recommendations: Monster Edition

In honor of Spooky Season, I wanted to make a list of fics in which one or both of them are more than human. Cryptids and creatures and monsters galore. (This one is for you, monsterfuckers.)

Demons

Count the Rings by Lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora). (E, Modern, 63K) When camping with her friends, Rey jokingly decides to marry a tree thats rumored to hold the spirit of a trapped man. Spoiler alert, the legends were true. Featuring accidental marriage, demon deals, and soft soft demon Ben. Sure there’s some angst and danger but this is mostly sweet and wonderful and Rey having dreams come true.

The Hand That Feeds by persimmone. (E, Victorian, 46K) Rey has managed to avoid unwanted male attention for thirty years, until the opening of a mysterious artifact burdens her with an accidental husband. Luckily, her new consort is not the average man. Or better, he's not... human. Featuring eldritch abomination Kylo who is so sweetly in awe and reverent of human Rey despite being powerful and older than the universe. And who also has... a tentacle form.

All The Ashes by neonheartbeat. (E, Modern, 37K) Rey, living in a terrible Brooklyn apartment and desperate to escape, posts a Craiglist ad as a half-joke seeking a marriage of convenience to just get the hell out of the country. It's unexpectedly answered by a mysterious Romanian count. Featuring soft monster Kylo, good friend Hux, and beauty and the beast elements. I loved this soft Kylo and thirsty Rey.

I Will Always Find You by kuresoto. (E, Modern, 24K) Featuring Lilith!Rey and Lucifer!Kylo. I love this. They fuck like monsters (and as monsters!) and Rey is the queen of hell and they're so viciously in love. Read It!!

Deliciously by @secretreylotrash. (E, Colonial, 18K) Puritan/Salem Witch Trials/The VVitch Inspired. Witches, demon Kylo, orgies, death... This was WILD.

The Devil’s Lucky Number by Avdal. (E, Modern, 10K) Pure smut. Demon Kylo shows up out of the blue for the sole purpose of making rey orgasm. It’s what she deserves.

The Devil You Know by KyloTrashForever. (E, Modern, 10K) In which Ben finds out the hard way that he shouldn’t play with old magic. AKA, lucky bastard dumb college student Ben accidentally summons himself a succubus girlfriend.

The Demon Within Me by Avdal. (E, Modern, 8K) Shameless demon Kylo smut.

Come To Me In The Clearing And There We Shall Dance by QueenOfCarrotFlowers @leofgyth . (E, 1600′s, 5K) She had been hoping he would find her - her only friend. Kylo. She supposes he’s a demon, or a devil, or one of the heathen gods, but she's never worked up the nerve to ask him and he has not volunteered that information.

Proposal by AKyloDarkly. (E, 4K) Lilith!Rey and Lucifer!Kylo.

Mercy by bunilicious. (E, Victorian, 3K) A Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde/Demon AU. AKA, Rey is thirsty for her demon husband and refuses to wait any longer.

Mothman/Mothlo

For Love of a Flame by thewayofthetrashcompactor. (E, Fantasy, 8K) The shadowy Order has advanced across the forest, bringing darkness in their wake. Rey is hungry and desperate, willing to face the Order themselves to steal back what they've taken from the land. What she finds there is not what she expects. Fairies/mothpeople! Weird! I’m into it!

Drawn to the Light of Your Burning Sorrows by Kyriadamorte. (M, Modern, 7K) Mothman Ben! Curious outcast Rey! This was the first mothlo fic I ever saw. Me when I saw this fic: Mothlo? Mothman Reylo?? God and Ryan Johnson have truly abandoned this fandom. Me after this fic: Mothman Kylo is the best boy and bring on the cryptids.

Macrolepidoptera by ceciliasheplin. (E, Modern, 3K) Rey runs after her Mothman to show him how much she loves him. Nothing like a 3K word fic that hits you in the feels at the same time that it’s giving you mothman smut filth. This fandom is magical.

Nature Spirits

Oh Autumn, Oh Teakettle, Oh Grace by diasterisms. (E, Modern, 31K) Ben Solo didn’t believe in dryads, until one snagged his coats and freed herself. She’s pure bliss and magic and he is captivated. If she has to go 2000 miles back to her tree, he might as well drive her there. Dryad Rey/smitten human Ben road trip! What a lovely fic!

Looking For a Breath of Life by Fighter_for_Solo. (T, Fantasy, 18K) Featuring Elf Prince Ben and human hunter Rey! A really delightful story.

I met you once — ( In a dream ) by persopilliankore. (E, Fantasy, 10K). Where Ben and Rey are soulmates and Ben is more than meets the eye.

Fearless by KyloTrashForever. (E, Fantasy, 6K) Featuring tree Ent Kylo and the softest tentacle porn you’ll ever read.

Sea Creatures. Mermaids, Selkies, OctaKylo, oh my!

Beyond the Veil by dachenbritta. (M, Modern, 40K). Deep within the waters of the Oregon coast, a lone mermaid longs for the man she's watched for years. Her wish of joining him comes true but comes at a cost. This was hilarious and emotional and such a great read.

Sirens by SageMcMage. (E, Fantasy, 21K) In which Merman Ben tries to woo Mermaid Rey by little gifts on her doorstep. Adorable! 

Yn Beisht Kione by Melusine11 @hellomelusine . (E, Modern, 5K) They say a beast roams the sea. Protecting a treasure long hidden in the Headland's caves. Some say it is the soul of a man killed by pirates to protect that treasure. Sailors have been known to throw casks of rum at the beast in the hopes of placating it, so they don't get eaten and can pass in peace. Most people though, don't believe he exists, and Rey is about to find out how wrong they all are.

I Found You by Kyoloren. (T, Fantasy, 5K) In which scavenger mermaid Rey finds a strange black T-shaped object in her waters on Kef Bir and is determined to return it to its owner. Mermaid Rey!Cute little fish people soulmates!

Octopussy by KyloTrashForever. (E, Modern, 5K) Three brothers at the beach plus one horny sea monster equals a lot of holes being filled. Smutty monster filth, no need to look for a deeper meaning than that. You like tentacle porn? Here ya go.

Live by the Sea, Love by the Tide by Twin_Kitten. (E, Fantasy, 4K) Rey and a few other mermaids escape the clutches of Unkar, and stumble into the territory of another pod of mermaids. Ben's pod. Soft caretaking mermaid Ben!

Where the Blue of the Sea Meets the Sky by HarpiaHarpyja @thisgarbagepicker . (T-E, Fantasy) A Short delightful little series featuring Selkie Ben and explorer Rey! I seriously cannot say enough good things about this author, do yourself a favor and go read EVERYTHING she’s ever written.

Tentacle Dick (that’s it that’s the plot)

Damnably Unbecoming by cuddlesome. (E, Canon-verse crack, 5K)

Froot (i've been saving all my summers for you) by kuresoto. (E, Canon-verse crack, 4K)

Vampires

In The Dark by KyloTrashForever. (E, Modern, 44K) A Dark Shadows AU!! It’s not “finished”, but it ends well where it is! Featuring vampire Ben who is very sorry about drinking blood and human Rey who is even thirstier than he is.

A Little Death (Goes a Long Way) by crossingwinter. (E, Modern, 23K) A Vampire & A/B/O AU. Weird and dark but I am here for it.

The Lioness by Lilia_ula. (E, Fantasy, 13K) Rey goes bravely to her death after being chosen as the village sacrifice, but upon meeting the beast things don’t go as planned. I love to see Reylo fics where they both revel in who they are and what they are together. Fascinating.

Beneath the Pale Moonlight by bunilicious. (E, Historical Recency, 15K) A fluffy fic about vampire Ben falling hard for Rey! 

The Curious Case of the Aquarist and the Vanishing Walrus by radioactivesaltghoul. (T, Modern, 6K) Rey loves spending time in the walrus enclosure at the aquarium she works at.Ben is a vampire with an unusual ability. This is bizarre and wonderful and just such a fun read. I think about this fic daily.

Werewolves

we decided not to kill the wolves (we wanted to be wolves) by crossingwinter. (E, Fantasy, 32K) A pack of wolves lives in the woods to the north of Raddus and as winter looms, they have their eyes set on Leia Organa’s stronghold. Rey may be new to Raddus, but she’s not about to do nothing while it may be in danger. And besides, Poe must be exaggerating about wolves the size of bears. She’s not afraid of monsters.

Howl by monsterleadmehome. (E, modern, 2K) When Ben Solo is trying to earn Eagle Scout status, he spends a night alone in the woods. A chance encounter with a werewolf girl named Rey leaves an impression. Ten years later, he runs into her again and this time, they're all grown up.

[thekisforkeats]

An Avatar No More (Let All the Broken Pieces Shine, Chapter Three)

Info: The Magnus Archives, D&D AU. JonMartin, more ships to be added. Rated T. Post-Canon. Jon is amab nb and uses they/them, Martin is a trans guy.

CWs: Character death (mentioned), character injury (mentioned), body transformations, birds, sacrifice (sort of, I mean, everyone lives) 

Summary: Jon is a warlock who thinks they're a druid, and they're finally meeting their patron. Well, their original patron, not the nasty Watcher that tricked them into ending the world, that guy's a jerk and we have no truck with him.

Avatar powers or no, Jon will yell at eldritch beings to protect Martin because they need their tea-making poet alive and well, dammit.

——————————————————-

First Chapter Previous Chapter

Jon wakes to a world that looks as if it’s had all the color leached out, all blacks and whites and grays. Martin’s arms are still around them, holding them, but not as tightly as they dimly recall from before.

Martin seems to be asleep, his expression pained and his breathing shallow. He is vibrant despite the lack of color, standing out from his surroundings, almost verging into sepia rather than mere monochrome. Jon, too, seems almost as vibrant though perhaps not quite as much so.

There is a nip of cold in the air, and that by-now familiar feeling of being watched.

Jon slowly disentangles themself from Martin’s grasp, doing their best not to wake the sleeping man. They can see, and that is odd--didn’t Martin stab them in the eye? Eyes? They can barely remember, everything after stepping into the Panopticon is a blur except the conversation with Martin, as though the words were somehow burned into their memory while all other sensations faded during the trip to wherever they are now.

They take a moment, blink slowly, press their hands gently to their eyes. And yes, they have eyes, and there’s no blood on their face, and now that they look there’s no scars on their hands, either. No burn marks on the right hand, no worm scars on either one. Their skin is whole and unblemished.

This bothers them more than, perhaps, it ought.

They sit up and look around to take a greater survey of their surroundings. Jon and Martin are on the balcony of a large fortress set on the edge of a cliff in whatever this strange realm is. The sky above is an inky black, devoid of sun or moon or stars, and the landscape beyond the balcony is bleak: jagged mountains behind and a flat plain dotted with twisted spires below.

It occurs to them that it might be reasonable to assume they're in Hell.

“That’s… disconcerting,” Jon says aloud, as much because they are used to narrating their life as to hear the sound of their own voice. They stand, slowly, checking to see if there is a room attached to the balcony. Usually balconies are attached to chambers, though with Hell, it’s possible that this will be another level of torment: impractical architecture.

The balcony turns out to be just an extension of a room with no doors or outer wall. The room is shrouded in darkness, but it looks... big… ish? With maybe a table and some chairs and some sort of dias beyond that?

Jon leans down to place a hand on Martin’s cheek briefly before they begin to move into the room. “Rather spacious if… empty accommodations for a Hellscape.” Again they're speaking partly for their own benefit, but the darkness of the room is deep enough to hide someone who might respond if they speak.

And then there is indeed a voice, coming from the shadows around the dais: “This is not Hell. That place is rather more… torturous for mortals to exist in.” The voice seems… vaguely female, but with a strange, almost croaking sort of undertone.

“Ah, there you are.” Jon starts looking around for the source of the voice. “That’s good to know, that we are not dead. I take it you are who we have to thank for that? Since this is your domain.”

As Jon moves into the room, the shadows seem to shift and a form appears sitting on a large chair on the dais, pretty much a cowled cloak. It would be spooky if Jon weren’t becoming inured to these things.

“Oh, no, you are quite dead,” the voice replies from the depths of the cloak. “He is not, yet, but he will be soon enough.”

Jon looks back toward Martin, who looks to be in more pain and maybe a little less vibrant than he was. “Stop that!” they shout. They move back to Martin and kneel down, running their hands over the taller man’s hair, trying to soothe him. “Save him!”

Martin relaxes at the touch, but only slightly. He still looks pained, troubled.

The voice from the cloak says, “I have done nothing to him. He chose to follow you through the gates of death, and so… he is dying.” There is an odd level of unconcern in her voice. Not malice, per se, and not indifference, but rather what one might expect from an avatar of the End, regarding someone dying.

“And you can’t do anything?!” The indifference in the voice angers Jon. How dare this cloaked wannabe Grim Reaper just ignore their plight? And though they might not admit it, they have become used to getting their way in most things, to having power to shape the world as they wish. “This is your world; insulate him from the ravages of its effects!”

“Why should I?” The voice is more curious than malicious. “I have no hold nor tie to him; where once he belonged to Araushnee, in this form he belongs more to Oghma, or perhaps Sune, and I have little truck with either.”

“Because he is important to me!” Jon hisses, still keeping contact with Martin. “And you clearly have some attachment to me or I wouldn’t be here. Is that not enough, or are you so detached from all compassion as to not understand the intricacies of companionship?”

The figure moves out onto the balcony and Jon can see it now, cowled and hooded, with a glimmer of light from within the hood: eyes, maybe. “I understand compassion. And I understand companionship. And I understand that the latter has rarely led to much but tragedy, when pursued too fervently.”

The woman(?) looks down at the two of them. “He will not fade from your view. He will become part of this place, and if you are so concerned I will take him into my employ. You will be able to see him still, between the work I have for you to do.”

Of course. Some new eldritch horror expects Jon to work for them without even knowing what they're getting into. Lovely.

Jon stands, placing themself between the cowled figure and Martin. “No. You will save him and ensure that he lives. He didn’t sacrifice himself just to be controlled by another one of you.” They are shaking with both fear and rage. “You want my help, fine. Another Eldritch power wants my hands for its machinations…” They laugh. “What else is new? But he deserves better. Name a price for his survival and freedom, and I will pay it.”

The eyes under the hood seem to narrow. “There is a way to save him, to give him life enough to survive here and to survive the journey you are yet to take. But it would require…” A pause, a deep, heavy sigh. “I had thought to give you more time as something you would still recognize as… yourself.”

The woman gestures, and a mirror appears, so that Jon can see just exactly what she means.

The mirror allows them to see colors, but only in the mirror itself. Jon still wears the clothing they'd been wearing in the Panopticon (and much longer before that), and they look… themself, they're short and slim, their skin dark, but their eyes have become shining gold. Their long black hair shimmers now, and their ears are… pointed? Yes, elongated and pointed, and they realize their form is even slimmer than they remember, now that they look closely.

They appear to be, for all the world, an elf.

Jon puts a hand to their ears to see if it is real. How had they missed that, while trying to be sure they were whole and alive? “What? What… happened to me? You turned me into an elf? Like Tolkien? Why?”

“Tolkien…?” There’s a pause, as if the woman is accessing information; it reminds Jon, oddly, of themself. “Ah. No. I have done nothing, really; this is what you were before you went to that world. You have become something like what I once was, Tel-quessir. I believe in the common parlance the term is ‘sun elf’ or ‘high elf.’” Galadriel more than Legolas, then.

Jon tries to make sense of what the woman is saying as they take stock in the mirror but they can’t understand more than rudimentary levels. They truly had come to rely on Knowing as a crutch. “Went to that world? What you once were?” More questions than answers, and little is more irritating to them. They return their attention to the cloaked figure. “And this has what to do with saving Martin?” That is what’s important right now, after all.

The woman’s words become suddenly clipped. “You were mine. From birth, you sought out new stories, new experiences, new memories, as many as you could find, to bring them back here when you died. A spark, a soul sent into the dark, to try to expand my reach to the other worlds. And, I admit, to try to bring balance to a world so overrun with evil; an attempt at a ray of good to balance that out.” A pause. “I suppose it succeeded, mostly, if only by spreading that evil out into the realms. But the powers there, they tried to… claim you. The Spider, the Watcher…”

There is a rustling under the cloak, a sound of many wings. The voice rises, angry. “And then the Watcher stole you from me, to carry out its perverse warping of your world! It would not do, but you already had the means to combat what the Watcher tried to make you, Archivist. And so, here you are. And yet, you do not even know who you truly are.”

There is more rustling of wings beneath the cloak. The woman is clearly angry.

“Wait… you’re saying I’m from here… originally? Not human?” Jon touches their ear again, a nervous gesture. “And I was your agent… meant to be your eyes and ears until Jonah Magnus…” They have to stop, the anger that rises in them is so great, “did what he did.”

Jon’s tone turns insistent, and they wish they could still compel answers. “Then tell me. What am I? What are you? Feathers, a cloak, pinpoints of light that could be eyes. Do you have a name?”

“You are not from here,” the woman says, and her voice has become… melancholy. “We were from a place of light and beauty, once. It is my fault that you came here, but you never complained, before. And you were never meant… that ritual was never meant to happen. I never meant you to experience… any of what the Watcher made you do. But at least now the pain of all those you encountered is catalogued, and perhaps in time, they can be cleansed of the pain and know peace.”

Another deep sigh. “As for what I am…” The rustling intensifies, and then suddenly the cloak explodes into shadow. Beneath is not a woman at all--beneath is a massive collection of ravens. They fly around Jon, all flapping wings and eyes, and one in particular--the one with the eyes they've been seeing under the hood--seems to hover in the air in front of them. It speaks in a voice that booms off the nearby mountains:

“I AM THE RAVEN QUEEN.”

Jon stumbles back a bit, and narrowly manages to avoid falling on top of Martin. They haven't been this terrified since… what, since before the Change? Since well before the Change. But terrified they are. “A-an-and I’m… I’m… o-one of your… servants… and extension of you… one-one-one of… of… those?” They gesture at the ravens flying about them.

The ravens settle all around the balcony, and the one that has been speaking stays where it is, as if to give them space. “No. I told you--what you are now is what you were one, long ago, before… before my failed attempt to become a goddess and stop the conflict between Corellon and Araushnee failed.”

She sighs, and her voice is full of ancient, terrible sadness. “You came to me and offered your help to stop that conflict. You gave much of your life and essence to try to fuel the ritual, along with many others. Like them, you believed in our cause. The gods were warring, and it had to be stopped, or the Tel-Quessir were doomed to split apart forever. We would save the Tel-Quessir from the doom we foresaw. I would travel to Arvandor, gain the attention of the gods, and stop the war.” A long sigh. “I was a fool, and it was all of you who paid the price.”

Jon is starting to put the pieces together. “So… in order to save Martin, what do I have to do? Give up this… essence again? Return the restoration you bestowed on me? Become something else? Something that can still be your hand, but different?”

The raven cocks its head in almost a nod. “This is what you were, before my failed ritual. This is what I purified you into becoming again so you could go to the place where last you lived. I had wanted to give you time as this again, a lifetime of reward for your service, but…” The raven looks to Martin. “You have brought your reward back with you, I see. You always did prize love above so much else.”

“In order to save his life, I must siphon off yours. Return him to what he is, and perhaps allow him to be more, something closer to what he was long, long ago. And return you… to what you were. Shadar-kai. Shadow fey.” A pause. “It is not pleasant. The color will leech from you, even in the living world. The shadows will cling to you. In the living world you may look young and fresh, but here you will see your true state: cursed, aged, withered.”

The raven gives a long, deep sigh. “You may say that you will endure all of that and more to save your lover, but you will lose many of the emotions that now drive you. You will be bitter and grim. Others will see you as cold and pitiless. Most of my people who go out into the world care little for their physical bodies; they know they will return here, and be reborn. Some embrace physical pleasures, others test their limits, and some strive for glory in their lives.”

“You… never did much of any of that. You were usually content to watch, to listen, to study, and to bring me back what you found. You played tricks, sometimes.” Is the raven… amused? Yes, by the glitter in its eye, it is. “You have always retained your sense of humor, regardless of everything else.” The amusement fades. “But you may lose your love for him. Even if you do not--even if it is the one thing you cling to--he may lose his love for you, on finding you so horribly changed.”

Jon looks over their shoulder at Martin for a moment and then back to the raven before them. “Done. It may be as you say, but he’ll be alive. And that’s what’s important.” They sigh. “He has to survive. He’s given up too much to not survive. Do it.”

The ravens all flock back into the form they’d been in before and the shadows warp around it like a hood and cowl once more. The Raven Queen nods--or seems to--and sighs. “Very well.” She reaches out with one “hand” to Jon and the other “hand” to Martin’s sleeping form

A bright white light begins to flow out of Jon and into Martin. Jon doesn’t feel lessened so much as different, as though the shadows here seep in to replace the light that flows out. They can see the color fade from their form in the mirror. Their skin becomes a pallid grey, their eyes become wholly black--no pupil, no sclera, something far more befitting the avatar they became. And they do, indeed, twist and wither and age, though they feel no less strong and vital.

And Martin… wakes up.

Next Chapter

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 6  Chaos in the Cathedral

Candians v. The World

As sure as the sun rises and sets every day, a D&D session that starts with the DM telling everyone he loves them is a D&D session that’s going to end in tragedy. 

We begin with the stakes as dire as they’ve ever been. The PCs are in the Cathedral with 7 Tartguard and none of their other allies. Amethar has just been excommunicated from the church for adultery, stripped of his title, and ordered seized as--technically speaking--Candia is now at war with the rest of the Concord. They are surrounded on all sides, outnumbered, and there’s no easy way out.

And Jet decides to charge the Pontifex.

She grabs her water dagger (8d6 to Candians, 4d6 to everyone else, plus the poison cocktail Amethar suffered and only 1 Use--clearing up Keradin’s statement about there being 3 daggers) and says, “I’d rather be a bastard than a fool who believes in a bulb.” If she wants war, the Rocks family will bring it. She provokes an opportunity attack from Bonathan (the french fries fighter) but Theo blocks it and joins in on the heresy with a, “Fuck the Bulb!” The Pontifex screams as she takes 28 damage--though she burns a legendary resistance (which she apparently has) to avoid the poison effects.

War dog Amethar immediately starts looking for exits. He hears the guards on the other side lock the big, main door and he sees that there are these big, glass windows, but they are reinforced with crossbars that need to be broken for anyone except maaaaaybe the kids to squeeze through. He yells for the Tartguard to hold off the Imperial soldiers before running up to Jet and begging for her to cooperate for once in her life. “Please, do not die for me.” He physically picks her up and--on a Nat 20--throws her right up to a ledge where one of the big windows are. Once she’s up there, she sees that there are priest-archers in hiding, waiting to snipe them.

(Emily/Jet: You don’t have to worry about me.)

(Ally/Liam: We’re fucked. We’re absolutely fucked.)

The archers go, getting a shot at all three kids, including Nat 20 on Jet for an arrow in the back.

Liam (after considering an entirely different course of action that gets ret-conned away) Hunters Mark’s Bonathan and crossbows him. As he does, a familiar figure rounds the corner--Keradin, unshackled and bearing his mace.

“Witch. Is that the spell you cast on me?”

He goes to town, dealing a full 31 points of damage, bringing Liam down to 6. Theo also takes a beating this round, getting 27 points of damage from Plumbeline.

Lapin at first tries to goad Basha into joining the fight against the church by prodding at his pride but only a Nat 20 would entice him to take that bait and Zac doesn’t hit it. He did however hit a Nat 20 last week to find out more info about the Bulb and Brennan gives him the first piece of info now: The magic of the Bulb isn’t different from the magic of the Sugarplum Fairy. Power is power. A warlock is a cleric is a warlock. It’s a difference of semantics. With the rest of his turn, he casts Fly on Theo so he can get the kids up to the window and he stands in front of Liam to protect him (tossing him 2d6 of healing).

“I misjudged you,” says Theo.

“Oh, shut up,” says Lapin.

Ruby, twinning as always, decides to also attack the Pontifex, doing 28 damage with her grasping arrow (which also forces the Pontifex to stay in place or take damage).

On his turn, Theo (who is under strict orders from Amethar to save his kids) gets both Liam and Ruby up to the window--and still has the time to flip off the whole church and say, “Long live the Sweetening Path.”

The Chaos Continues

The knights attack Amethar. Amethar attacks the Pontifex. Grissini, filled with grim determination, attacks the Tartguard (5 go down). Jet chucks a crossbow priest off the ledge. 

Amethar grapples the Pontifex and declares, “I have your leader. Will you not defend her?” But on a 9 Intimidation check, everyone can hear the panic in his voice. Fine. Reckless attack: 14 damage. Onionpatch, weedy though he is, is able to break the grapple on his turn.

Liam tries to break the bars on the window--which Brennan has stressed several times is a very high DC to hit (Liam would need a Nat 20) and needs to take at least 20 damage at a time for it to stick at all--but doesn’t do it.

Keradin rains down blows on Lapin, the pretender, and Lapin goes down (the Fly spell on Theo going down at the same time). As he goes down, he has the second revelation about the Bulb gleaned from his Nat 20 from last session: the Bulb exists and it is powerful but it is mindless. It’s a pure source of power with no agenda or wants or desires. They’re worshiping a battery or a nuclear reactor. He rolls a death save. Failure.

Ruby gets out her rope, gives one end to Theo, then uses Mage Hand (which is invisible but, in reflection, can be seen as her Aunt Lazuli’s hand) to send the other half down to Amethar before casting Fog Cloud to make him harder to hit. 

Theo tries to drag Amethar up with the rope, but Amethar hasn’t had the chance to grab it yet so it just slips his grasp. He tries to break the bars on the window but fails. He wants to Compel Duel with Keradin to take the heat off Lapin, but he’s out of range.

The Pontifex heals herself, undoing many turns of effort. Amethar takes 9 points of damage from various knights. The remaining Tartguard go down. A Ceresian soldier tries to hit the prone Lapin but rolls a 1 and a 2, missing him entirely (somehow). 

Jet--who, as you might have guessed, has been very “Not Without my Father” all battle despite Amethar’s orders--attacks one of the priests and then uses her Maneuvering Attack ability to let Amethar move half his movement without provoking Opportunity Attacks--an ability that works despite the lack of line of sight caused by Ruby’s protective Fog Cloud. 

Amethar climbs the rope and gets to work on the window--hitting both times but only doing damage on the second. He does 22 points of damage but the bars have 30 HP so it’s gonna take another hit. The priest fighting Jet tries to disengage but her Sentinel ability activates and she slices him through, dead.

Liam sends Preston down to help Lapin with his death saves and then unsuccessfully tries to break the bars. Keradin immediately starts wailing on Preston and does 28 points of damage, dropping him.

Lapin has his second death save. Failure. 

Ruby tries to attack the bars but fails. She tries unshackle Manta Ray Jack (who was chained and tortured to get Amethar’s secret last episode) and fails even harder on double Nat 1s.

Brennan throws the gang a bone and says that the bars will now break on a 19 or 20 since Amethar weakened them and, what do you know, on his very next attempt, Theo rolls a 19. BAM, he rushes the window and immediately falls out. Jet grabs Liam and jumps out, taking most of the falling damage herself. Amethar throws Ruby out the window, looks back at Lapin’s body, then jumps out himself. Theo catches him, negating the damage that would have dropped him.

Lapin’s Big Day (Part 3)

Lapin is left alone in the church, Preston’s body still beside him, the Pontifex and Keradin above him, consciousness slipping away. He has one last death save and, on a 20, he’ll pop back up to 1 HP and get a turn. It’s absolutely his only chance. He rolls.

13, for the rabbit whose luck has run out. 

He does an Insight check on the Pontifex and, on a 14, he gets the sense that she doesn’t know the true nature of the Bulb and she doesn’t care. She just cares about power.

“Heretic, apostate, warlock of the Sugarplum Fairy. You mock all that which is bright and shining. Do you have any last words?”   

And, legend to the end, Lapin says, “The Bulb cares for no one.”

The Pontifex tells Keradin to end it but, before he does, Lapin hears a voice in his ear.

“They wouldn’t have survived this without you. My final wish is for you to come home.”

And Keradin dashes Lapin across the stone of the cathedral.

In Memoriam

I knew last week that I would be writing a eulogy for a piece of candy today, but I had my money on the wrong piece of candy (or pieces of candy rather). 

Lapin had the most to lose in this fight, and the easiest out. He was still, at least on paper, aligned with the church. He could have just hung back and let the others escape while he did nothing or sent an Eldritch Blast flying that purposefully missed its mark. There was a path out of this for Lapin in simply doing less. 

But he didn’t. He had exactly one proper turn all fight and he used that turn to turn the tide of the entire encounter. If he doesn’t step up to protect Liam, Liam absolutely drops. If he doesn’t cast Fly on Theo, Ruby and Jet are screwed. If Ruby and Jet can’t get that Fog Cloud/Maneuvering Attack double team, Amethar is screwed. He saved everyone. He’s *always* saved everyone. That is the entire story of Lapin in this game. The grumpy but loyal bastard whose last words to the party are, “Oh shut up,” when he’s told he’s been misjudged.

Lapin’s game was cut tragically short but, man, did he cram so many epic moments into the time he was given. From single-handedly keeping Ruby and Amethar up during the Ambush to his skillful manipulation of damn near everyone he came into contact with at the Tournament and then his heroic sacrifice in this ep, and getting to meet death with defiance for his enemy and praise from his patron. 

Many mid-campaign deaths are unceremonial and just kinda random, like in real life, but Lapin’s death really did have a poetry and a sense of closure to it. He was told he needed to protect the Rocks family. He was told boldness would be required. He said if anyone found out about him he would die. Check, check, and check. And death even came for him on the third fight--I absolutely live and die by the rule of three and, apparently, so does Lapin.  

To die in the stronghold of the church he infiltrated, secret out, more knowledge about the inner machinations of the religion than possibly even the Pontifex herself, secure in the thought that with his death, he bought his charges enough time to make a run for it is, I think, a lot more closure than a lot of characters get. That’s a full arc. 

Plus, he got one more sick one-liner for the road. 

And, let’s not forget, our baby boy Peppermint Preston who fell taking blows meant for Lapin, sent down by Liam who earlier that week was convinced that Lapin hated him. It seems like a waste, but that’s only because it’s how the dice shook out. How badass would it have been if he’d drawn the attacks and Keradin had whiffed them or if Preston had dropped, but Lapin had rolled a Nat 20, popped back up, scooped him, and left--healing him on the way out? It could have been great. 

But it wasn’t. It was just brutal. 

So, RIP to our boys. May they be doing shots with the Sugarplum Fairy in Candy Heaven.

Things I’m Concerned About

The Candians were pretty screwed no matter what they did in this episode, but man they truly decided to burn all their bridges with all the F the church talk, blatant magic, and attacking the Pontifex. They are fully terrorists at this point. 

None of their people (besides the Tartguard) were in the church when this happened. What happens to them? Do they have time to alert them? Are they all just dead?  

I wish Jet hadn’t used that knife on the Pontifex. Like, it’s the least of their worries but not only was it a waste, it makes it seem like the attack on Amethar was a false flag which would also make the attack on the road seem like even MORE of a false flag. That was tactically Not Good. 

Because of the way the information was tortured out of Manta Ray Jack (sidenote--are they, like, gonna kill him?), it seems like the Candians might still have allies in the Dairy Islands (as in, they know the Candians were railroaded and didn’t attack first) but this is such a crappy position to put someone in and the Dairy Islands are already weak. Plus, there’s at least one known bad actor there. Who knows who can be trusted at this point?

Where do they even go from here? The rest of the map is at war with them. If they can make it home, war will follow them there too. What is the victory condition here? Dismantling the entire church? If so, yikes.

And, speaking of, the church was really wilding out just having Keradin come out to fight the PCs. Does this mean he’s off the hook? Alfredi too? It seems like they very well might be now that their actions can be retroactively “justified”. Still curious about whether they were working under the church’s direct orders or doing their own shady thing that happened to align with the church’s goals. 

THEY HAVE NO HEALER. Like, unless Zac’s next character is also a healer, the party is now in the most precarious position they’ve ever been in with no healer. Hands down, the worst person who could have gone down, party comp-speaking.

Five More Things

There’s a rule in law school called the laugh test and it says that, before you make an argument, say it out loud and see if you can get through it without laughing. And there’s a part in this episode where Siobhan is proposing some BS but I don’t even know what it was because she just fully breaks herself and can’t get through it, and that’s the best illustration of that rule I’ve ever seen in practice. And, while we’re here, the other two A+ Siobhan moments this episode were her face at her double Nat 1s, and, to Lou for reminding Brennan that attacks on him get advantage, “You’re a good man. I’m gonna miss you so much.”

Man, how painful is it that Lapin got to see into the Matrix and figure out the Bulb and then he had the knowledge immediately die with him? Absolutely brutal.

The tension at the table this episode. The ominous music that felt bad until it would cut out completely, which was infinitely worse. The burying of heads into hands and leaning on each other for support. This episode was a LOT. I can’t IMAGINE having been at that table. And I had a week to make my peace with the idea that someone was most likely gonna die. To have to deal with this right on the heels of last ep? Geez.

Hearing on Adventuring Party how Zac planned to have Lapin give a bad guy speech and Thunderstep out with Liam if Initiative had shook out differently really makes it hit home how D&D is really about those in the moment things you can’t control. This could have been a very different encounter but was Jet supposed to NOT try and stab the Pontifex? Of course not, she HAD to. She’s JET. And she got to set the tone of the fight because she rolled highest. 

Can you imagine if Amethar had jumped out the window, taken that damage, and just dropped? And failed his death saves? And they had no healer? 

Just as a final note, I have to give major props to the whole cast for this episode. We’ve known that this was the “actions have consequences” season since it was announced, but this is really the first time we’ve really gotten to see the extent of the consequences and everyone handled it very well--the PCs staying true to character, even it wasn’t optimal, but still playing smart, and Brennan for facilitating such emotionally difficult scenes. This is peak D&D y’all.

[raeynbowboi]

The Character Forge: How to Play as Damien Lavey in DnD 5e

Today I’m making a build for everybody’s favorite spicy red baby from Monster Prom, Damien Lavey. So showcase how bold and fun you are over a bowl of knives amid the romantic glow of arson, as we conspire to dance with the devil on prom night.

The Prince of Hell

First things first, we need to be a Tiefling. Asmodeus is the standard cut of Tiefling and gets +2 CHA and +1 INT and the ability to cast Hellish Rebuke and Darkness once per long rest without using a spell slot. However, another option for subrace is Zariel Tiefling, which get +2 CHA and +1 STR and the ability to cast Searing Smite and Branding Smite. Choose whichever you feel is better for your build.

For Alignment, this guy is a psychopath, but then, most of the characters in Monster Prom are horrifyingly and endearingly amoral. We’ll call him Chaotic Neutral because just as much as he’s wiling to break the law to help you, he’ll also do it just to amuse himself. Or just for the fun of breaking the law.

For background, Damien is the Prince of Hell, and his fathers conquered Hell together. So, while it’s tempting to label him a Criminal, he’s a Noble.

Skills and Abilities

Damien appears to be completely immune to fire, and while he starts fires with matches and gasoline, there’s also an instance where he throws fire at people from the top of a stolen food pile among other times, so he has some limited use of fire magic. There is an instance where he jumps out of a pizza oven, which even the Narrator is uncertain whether Damien can teleport through fire, or if he was just waiting there in the oven for your character to show up. He has also drank straight fire, and has a literal furnace in his stomach that causes him to eat a lot of food very quickly.

Damien seems to be magically resistant to mortal wounds. While competing with Polly over whose flasks contains better stuff, Damien has a flask of radioactive absinthe, and he finds a fist fight to be a turn on which suggests that he must be supernaturally durable.

The Class Rebel

Barbarian Damien is an angry guy with a love for violence and Polly states that his talent is hitting things. As a Barbarian, Damien would become an embodiment of rage and savage warfare, but at the penalty of losing access to his spell options while raging.     Desert Storm Herald: When you rage, you create a 10 foot aura that wreathes you in flames. Creatures within your aura take Fire damage, you gain Fire resistance, ignite flammable objects with your bare hands, grant your allies Fire resistance while within your aura, and retaliate against anyone who dares hit you with a searing Fire counterattack.     Zealot: Your rage is fueled by a vow of unholy piety to wage war for your dark lord. This subclass lets you imbue your weapon attacks with added Necrotic damage, be revived from death without costing the necromancer material components, reroll a failed roll while raging, fill allies with unholy fury to give them advantage, and straight up refusing to die.

Paladin Whenever you encounter Damien at the auditorium, his designated costume appears to be some sort of black knight. Damien loves warfare and fighting, even claiming that his actual battle attire is really just 700 knives held together with barbed wire. Paladins are usually beacons of moral purity, there are some dark variants of this wholesome class.     Conquest: Conquest Paladins are focused on crushing opposition to their tyrannical rule. Considering you cheer Damien up about being the heir to Hell by reminding him he can wage war as king, this could work nicely for him. You become so terrifying that it actually hurts those who are afraid of you, punish those foolish enough to hit you, and become an avatar of combat.     Oathbreaker: While Damien has never made an oath to break, Oathbreaker Paladins create an aura of hatred that empowers fiends and undead, resist bludgeoning, slashing, and piercing damage from nonmagical weapons, and become such an embodiment of rage and fear that being near you causes mental trauma on your enemies.

Sorcerer Most fire spells are only listed as being in the Sorcerer and Wizard spell lists, and Damien obviously has strong fire associations.     Pyromancy: Your bloodline has strong associations with fire. You gain resistance and later, immunity to fire damage, and your fire spells deal added damage.

Warlock Most of the time when a character fits Warlock, the lack of spells is usually a major hang-up, but luckily, Damien’s use of magic is extremely limited to being able to throw fire. Also, in an adorable side pic by the crew, Damien is seen playing DnD with Zoe, Liam, Oz, and Slayer, and he seems to be dressed like a spellcaster, which to me looks more like a Warlock than anything else.     Fiend: An alternative option to Sorcerer’s selection of fire spells, and as the Prince of Hell, of course his powers come from infernal sources.     Hexblade: Hexblade Warlocks get the ability to swing with CHA instead of STR for weapon damage, as well as letting him bind the souls of his victims into being his slaves. While Damien doesn’t have a specific special sword, he does like knives and swords, so he likely has one that matters enough to him to bother forging a bond with it.

For this build, an Oathbreaker Paladin is very useful, as it lets you add your CHA mod to your melee weapon attack, making Hexblade irrelevant because this boost also increases the power of other fiends, letting you raise and then empower an army of the damned. So, by coupling this with a Fiend Warlock, your melee weapon attacks can deal your normal sword damage, with both your STR mod AND your CHA mod to make you an extremely deadly infernal warrior while still giving you access to fire magic and demonic powers.

Stats and Proficiencies

All of your casting options cast with Charisma, and having a high CHA stat also makes you better at lying and scaring people, so it’s a good stat for Damien to have a lot of. Strength is the other stat you’ll want maxed out so that your Oathbreaker subclass can make you an avatar of pain and carnage. After that, a high Constitution is important so that you can shrug off a stab wound or pierce your nipple with a handgun instead of a piercing gun without dying like a noob. You’ll want a decent Dexterity, but it’s not super necessary for the build. Wisdom and Intelligence will get dumped though. Damien’s not even close to top of the class, and it’s pretty easy to fool and coerce him to believe something, so he’s not exactly wise either. Then again, his strength is punching things, and that’s what his build is focused on doing.

Name: Damien Lavey Race: Zariel Tiefling Background: Noble Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Class: Oathbreaker Paladin (8)             Fiend Warlock (12) Base Stats: Strength: 20 (+5) Dexterity: 12 (+1) Constitution: 16 (+3) Intelligence: 8 (-1) Wisdom: 8 (-1) Charisma: 20 (+5) Saving Throws: Strength: +10 Dexterity: +6 Constitution: +8 Intelligence: +4 Wisdom: +10 Charisma: +16 Combat Stats: HP: 172 AC: 16 Speed: 30 Initiative: +1 Number of Attacks: 2 Hit Dice: 8d10, 12d8 Proficiency Bonus: +6 Passive Perception: 9 Dark Vision: 120 feet Proficiencies:    Athletics   History   Intimidation   Persuasion Skills: Acrobatics: +1                  Medicine: -1 Animal Handling: -1         Nature: -1 Arcana: -1                        Perception: -1 Athletics: +11                   Performance: +5 Deception: +5                  Persuasion: +11 History: +5                       Religion: -1 Insight: -1                         Sleight of Hand: +1 Intimidation: +11               Stealth: +1 Investigation: -1                Survival: -1

Damage Resistances     Fire Condition Immunities     Disease

Equipment:     Chainmail: It’s not 700 knives held together with barbed wire, but it’s interlocking bits of metal, so close enough.     Longsword: It’s just a prop, but Damien uses one in the play. Deal 1d6+13 Slashing Damage +5 Necrotic Damage on a melee weapon attack.

Paladin Feature: Fighting Style    Dueling: One-handed weapon attacks deal +2 damage.

Warlock Feature: Pact Bond     Pact of the Blade: You forge a bond with a weapon, and gain the ability to summon and dismiss it at will. The weapon counts as magical.

Warlock Feature: Eldritch Invocations     Agonizing Blast: Eldritch Blast deals +5 damage on hit.     Devil’s Sight: 120 feet of normal and magical darkvision     Fiendish Vigor: Cast False Life on self at will. Gain 1d4+4 temp hit points.     Relentless Hex: Teleport within 5 feet of a cursed target as a bonus action.     Superior Pact Weapon: Your pact weapon deals an added +2 damage.     Lifedrinker: When you hit with your pact weapon, deal +5 Necrotic damage.

Warlock Feature: Mystic Arcanum     Investiture of Flame

Spell Slots 1st (4) 2nd (3) 5th (3)

Damien’s Spellbook

Cantrips                      2nd Level     Booming Blade           Branding Smite     Create Bonfire            Crown of Madness     Eldritch Blast              Darkness     Sacred Flame             Scorching Ray     Thaumaturgy           3rd Level     Toll the Dead               Fireball     True Strike                  Summon Lesser Demons 1st Level                      4th Level     Burning Hands            Elemental Bane     Command                   Shadow of Moil     Compelled Duel          Summon Greater Demon     Hellish Rebuke         5th Level     Hex                              Flame Strike     Searing Smite              Hallow     Wrathful Smite             Infernal Calling                                         Negative Energy Flood

Actions:

Divine Sense Detect Celestial, Fiend, or Undead. Detect Holy or Unholy energy. Lay on Hands Pool of 40 HP to distribute or 5 points to cure poison or disease.

Features:

Aura of Hate You, Fiends, and Undead within 10 ft add +5 to weapon damage Aura of Protection You and allies within 10 ft. get +5 on saving throws Channel Divinity: Control Undead An undead within 30 feet of you must pass a WIS throw or obey you for 24 hours. Channel Divinity: Dreadful Aspect Choose any creature in 30 feet to become afraid of you for 1 minute on a failed WIS throw. Channel Divinity: Harness Divine Power Use Channel Divinity to restore a used 1st Level spell slot. Dark One’s Blessing Gain 17 Temp HP upon reducing a creature to 0 HP. Dark One’s Own Luck Once per rest, add 1d10 to a skill check. Divine Smite Sacrifice a spell slot, deal (x+1)d8 radiant damage, +1d8 on fiends and undead. Dueling Fighting Style Add +2 to one-handed melee weapon attack damage Fiendish Resilience When you finish a rest, choose damage to resist. Mystic Arcanum Cast Investiture of Flame once per long rest without spell slots Position of Privilege You belong in high society, lowborn bend over backwards to make you comfortable, and you can get an audience with other nobles.

With this build, Damien is an avatar of carnage, dealing anywhere from 20-25 damage with every melee weapon attack and getting two attacks per turn for 40+ damage, he’s absolutely phenomenal at slaughtering his enemies. Quite fitting for this adorkable pyromaniac. How do you feel I did with this build? Would you build Damien differently? Which player character do you like to chase the Spicy Red Baby with? I’m partial to Brian x Damien. And do you have a character you’d like to see me build? I take requests. And as always, thanks for joining me in the Character Forge, where heroes are made.

[albatross-tech]

So I'm bored. Let's list every Au of my main 5 bois.

This is more for myself then anyone else.

Edwin:

Swap: History and Personality swapped with Nicolas. See previous posts.

Swap2.0: History and Personality flip flopped to a line with Carter. He is a shy artist bean that likes to keep to his small group of friends. Was bullied for his large glasses. Is Raised/Taken in by his gay Uncle Vex and Vex's husband Abaddon.

Eloise: Edwin but girl.

Regal!Edwin: Instead of raised by his adoptive human father, he is raised royal grandparents. He is much more serious, proper and reserved. Speaks in an old English accent.

Human!: Edwin but human and in a human world.

Evil!: Edwin but really Evil. Probably Raised by Loki. Very sadistic and manipulative. Not very caring and gets a kick out of suffering. He works with Reapers and manipulates humans to do his bidding. Gets into a lot of trouble.

Void!: Edwin but lonely and trapped in the void.

Nicolas:

Swap: History and personality swapped with Edwin. See a previous post.

Swap2.0: History and personality swapped with Takashi. His parents are alive but divorced. He was raised by his Mother. Although expected to take on her place in the Outer Library...he loves fashion. He has extensive knowledge on trends and new fashion. He makes his own clothes on the side and probably runs a cute blog and instagram where he poses in adorable pastel outfits he made along with his adoptive sister, Annabell.

Nicole: Nicolas but best girl.

Family!: Nicolas but his family is well and alive. He isn't a hunter but he wants to explore the universe to learn what's out there. Often this universe overlaps with the Regal!Edwin universe. He is a lot more calm and optimistic.

Evil!: Nicolas but he is a raging serial killer.

Human: Human Nicolas. Not a hunter and not a teacher. He is a genius but not that level of Genius.

Outer: Nicolas but raised with by Aunt in the Outer Library. Still doesn't like humans but he doesn't have as much murderous intent. Very adept in magic and is being trained to take his place among the council.

Takashi:

Swap: History and personality swapped with Carter. A burly and calm Oni that likes to draw manga. He has made a couple books. Born in Japan, after an accident His parents were Killed in a Crash. He was taken to be raised with an Aunt and Uncle when he was practically a newborn. During Middle school they went to America where he Met Nicky (Swap!Nicolas) who became his first friend in the new country.

Swap2.0: Personality and History swapped with Nicolas. His family was slaughtered by priests in Japan. Takashi was taken by the schooling system and put into protection in America. He ends up being an assistant Nurse in the school district because of his power. At night he hunts monster hunters. He is very adept in his BioKinesis. Even going as far as Necromancy. He is a very large and foreboding individual. Most fear this oni on sheer sight alone.

Tanbio: Takashi but Girl.

Evil: Takashi but he acts like an actual Oni. Cursing town and setting pestilence on a city for the hell of it. He is very chaotic and does this for entertainment.

Human: Takashi but Human. He is tall and buff. Probably wrestler. He gets along well with girls for his confidence. And isn't afraid to show his more sensitive side.

Foriegn: Takashi but he has never been out of Japan. Put him in any other setting and bumbles around like a doofus. Tripping on words and customs.

Carter:

Swap: History and Personality Swapped with Takashi. He is still a Chonky boy. His family is from Germany. His parents are alive but divorced and on good terms. His mother let him room with Nicky while going to an American academy, for the experience. He keeps in touch with them though along with his Adoptive sister, Suzie. Suzie is always willing to be a model for him when he makes clothing. This Carter is a body positive boi and very up beat. He thinks people can look good no matter what their size is, so he has a blog and Instagram where he shows off his creations for plus sized people.

Swap2.0: History and Personality swapped with Syris because It's a challenge. This Carter is thin and Malnourished. He has Amnesia, He has forgotten how to talk. He was kidnapped and held captive by Hunter due to his family's association with Monsters and demons. They have been trying to get him to talk but this Carter has been hit in the head a couple of times. If saved, he will become clingy to his savior.

Cathy: Carter but Thicc Girl.

Cyborg: In the human verse, Carter gets to be the special one. He is a cyborg among humans. His parents are government scientists. After an accident they worked hard to save their son from death...making him a Cyborg. His hides his Robotic parts with fake skin.

Hunter!: Carter in the Evil!Verse is a Hunter. He isn't friends with the others and could arguably be the only good one in the bunch. Was actually trained by a Reaper, Loki, to help control the evil population of monsters. He isn't overweight in this one but is mostly small but buff as hell. His parents were murdered by monsters. Kinda like a reverse Nicolas.

Monster!Carter: Carter is a monster among the others. Specifically he is a Fallen angel. He and his parents were kicked out of heaven for being a bit rebellious of the Rules. They were told they could come back if they help punish 200 criminals...but they're rebellious so they don't care. This Carter is still big but he had Black wings and a broken Halo on his head. He has some piercings as well. He becomes fast friends with demons because chubby little rebel in him. He is passive aggressive though.

Syris:

Swap2.0: History and Personality swaped with Edwin. This Syris is a lot more Social then Normal Syris. His parents only had him for cult reasons and wasn't treated well and only as a servant for his Eldritch father. Till his mother was chased out of town and the little monster was taken in by a Good!Loki. That Loki simply runs a line of burial services across the country. Caskets, Urns and other things. Anyway, this Syris likes to Wear Cyberpunk/Goth clothing in human form. He has his hair dyed brown with highlights of black. He loves to make techno remixes, music, synthwave and often Djs as Raves in his Teens. His best friend Edwin that he met in Middle school. They work on a lot of projects together. Syris often makes the music behind Edwin's Animations. Syris and Edwin often practiced Korean together in middle school. Nicolas in this universe is their other friend from France. He rooms with Syris in the Country side Villa they have. Syris has taken to helping Nicolas add to his style of clothing.

Sarah: Feminine Syris.

Human: Human Syris. Still a bit clingy by nature...he is in foster care and gets moved from home to home. So when he makes close friends he doesn't like leaving them.

Pure Evil: Syris is a borderline character in terms of Alignment. This one is pure Evil. He is very selfish and self absorbed. He runs a cult...based around himself where he brainwashes humans to worship him. He often has people sacrifice themselves to him...or their family for a favor.

Pure good: This Syris is a bean. He just wants to be loved. He isn't as pushy as normal Syris. He often tries his best to do good for others...even if people are afraid of his appearance. He is very protective of his friends and often goes into 'Papa bear's Mode.

Pet!: A mini version of Syris. He is a small chonky bean that likes being pet and held. He is about the height of a teddy bear. That is all.

Civil!: A civilized version of Syris without the problems that made Syris the way he is. He was raised like a normal kid. This Syris is not clingy. He enjoys attention but isn't going to actively go after someone. He is a gifted student in cosmic magic. He wants to work in NASA when he gets older. He enjoys cooking and writing. He particularly like to write fan fictions and horror novels. He can also be called School!Syris.

That's all for now. I'll probably put down more later. I mean I do have more... Like Animal and Mermaid versions but those are self explanatory.

[crystalelemental]

So I finished Ephraim’s route in Sacred Stones for the first time since the game came out.

When I was young, I remember saying the same thing: I don’t like Ephraim’s route.  It just didn’t seem as strong as Eirika’s.  And I could never articulate why, to a degree where most of my friends would insist it was because I just played Eirika’s first so the complete deviation felt weird, even though Ephraim’s route was just as solid.  But I’m an adult now, and I like to think better at articulating opinions, so maybe now I’ll finally be able to express why I don’t like Ephraim’s route.

Part of it is Ephraim himself.  I don’t like Ephraim, I find him incredibly dull, and think he embodies every insult people want to throw at Micaiah.  Unbeatable in battle, unnaturally good at everything contrary to what’s told to us, the plot literally revolves entirely around him.  Ephraim’s just bland to me.  I think the best way to express this is to use a quote from someone who really likes him, courtesy of the only Fire Emblem fandom personality that I legitimately cannot stand.

Their take on Ephraim’s route is that: "Ephraim says he doesn’t pick fights he can’t win, but then he does pick a fight with Lyon.  Then the journey after that is his character arc, of accepting how to become a king.  He goes back to his kingdom a loser, and learns to accept that loss to become a better person.”

Problem: not a single word of that is true.  For one thing, Ephraim never lost a fight, because that would be a flaw.  Ephraim won every fight he was in ever, because “I don’t pick fights I can’t win.”  Ephraim, you are three guys, exiting a castle, surrounded by a moat, further surrounded by mountains.  Your only backup are cavalry units, and your enemies are mostly flying units, including a general so powerful that he injured Seth, your country’s best knight.  But oh no, he gets to escape.  No explanation, because you cannot possibly write a believable explanation for how that happened.  He just gets away because Ephraim’s just so cool.  So yeah, there’s no “learning to accept the loss,” because there is no loss.  To anyone, at any time.  I have no idea what they’re even talking about with “his loss to Lyon.”  My best guess is they just hadn’t played in a while and forgot.

If anything, Ephraim’s crucial flaw should be presented as being a fucking slacker.  They poke fun at it when they’re being taught as kids, but when war broke out, Ephraim left Renais to rush into battle, got his ass stranded, and wasn’t present to help Renais at all.  This is slightly acknowledged when they finally return to Renais, but only in the sense of “he’s back now and he’s better so it’ll never happen again!”  But (1) it’s mentioned exactly once, and (2) it’s not brought up nearly as often as Lyon being weak-willed, or Eirika “relying” on Ephraim protecting her, as flaws go.  Which is its own issue, considering we never actually see Eirika relying on Ephraim at all.  She didn’t actually need his help either time he showed up.  Nice to have, but far from saving an unwinnable situation.  We’re just told she always needs his help, because if she didn’t then Ephraim can’t be the cool twin who’s so good at war.

And that’s all that Ephraim is, and all he ever becomes.  There’s no “learning to become a king.”  He accepts that he’ll take the crown, but there’s really no reason to it aside from his penis.  He’s the prince, so he gets to be king.  Nevermind that Eirika’s route was more about establishing diplomatic ties, and that she’s by far the better leader.  Ephraim gets to lead because reasons.  All Ephraim does is charge into battles.  We get exactly two establishing scenes of Ephraim’s leadership qualities, both of which are around war and not actual leadership in a governing sense.  And get this!  They’re both with Seth, who, again, is their kingdom’s best knight. And guess how both scenes go.  You’ll never guess.  Ephraim’s either just as keen as Seth, or is presented as the one in the right.  Seth comes along as Ephraim’s advisor, but literally never has to advise, because Ephraim’s just so capable and good at this.  And remember, this is the hero who never read a fucking book.  Who copied all of Lyon’s homework, and couldn’t be asked to learn shit in his life.  I’m fine with him being a strong soldier.  Hell, I’m fine with him even having a keen sense for combat due to practical experience.  But being able to keep up with or exceed Seth, who should be one of the best minds for fighting we have, is kind of annoying.  At the very least, allow Seth to have some role as an advisor, rather than just...nothing.

At no point does Ephraim really learn or develop in any compelling way.  He starts out great and ends great.  Any flaws the narrative presents are solely as a backdrop, they’re never reflected in the story.  Him being bad at studying and books never bites him in any way.  Hell, it never even comes up, save for flashbacks and a singular comment the Demon King makes about Ephraim being “poorly educated,” which was more a taunt about him not immediately guessing Demon King.  Ephraim suffers from exactly no faults ever.

This leads into the other big issue.  Lyon.  I do not like Ephraim-route Lyon.  At all.  There’s a lot that goes into this, but the short version is I actually think Eirika-route Lyon is more engaging, complex, and shows greater force of will.

Eirika-route Lyon presents as fully consumed by the Demon King.  His soul is actively being devoured, and the beast within is winning.  However, at certain points, Lyon takes back control.  Briefly, but he’s trying.  He fights back as much as he can, but it’s impossible to resist the Demon King’s control.  His motivations are the same in both routes, and largely comes down to a desire to save his country and his people.  He’s used the arcane arts to manipulate the energy radiating from the Sacred Stone that has the Demon King trapped within.  He uses it to heal people, and see into the future to attempt preventing disaster.  In Eirika’s route, the Demon King expresses more of the unresolved feelings for Eirika, and his inadequacy because Ephraim’s just so good.  So like...they had a compelling tragedy going.  I could absolutely believe a 17-year-old has inadequacy issues around the girl he likes, and that this would be an easy mark for an ancient eldritch evil.  But the fact that it has to double back to Ephraim pisses me off.  But we’re talking about Ephraim-route Lyon, so that’s enough paraphrasing her route.

Ephraim-route Lyon seems to present just as himself.  On the surface, this seems like Lyon is showing greater willpower and resolve, right?  He’s in control!  He’s going to use the Demon King’s power to save Grado from impending disaster!  That’s way more impressive, right?

Well, not really.  Considering that Lyon acts in control, but is ultimately just going about this like a nitwit.  Complaint #1: Lyon doesn’t act as in-character in this route.  Ephraim even acknowledges it.  Lyon’s peaceful, he’d never instigate a war over this.  Like, this is an Edelgard move, not a Lyon move.  But here we are, being told that Lyon, of his own will, started this war.  Why?

Complaint #2: Because Vigarde sucks, for a start.  In the last flashback, Lyon is talking to his dad, and expresses uncertainty about his ability to rule.  Again, great in for the Demon King.  But Lyon’s actually on this one.  A major disaster was foreseen, and they need outside aid for their people to survive.  Vigarde says Renais would never aid them, because they need to put their people first.  There’s a bit of interesting consideration here, in that Renais, a smaller nation, probably can’t take in all the refugees that Grado would have.  But like...Renais is friendly with Frelia, who could be persuaded to help.  Rausten is all about charity like this, as the religious epicenter of the continent.  What the fuck are you on about, Vigarde?  Pinning literally all of this on Lyon to find a solution isn’t just cruel, it’s stupid and wrong.  Get it together, asshole.  How did you manage to not lead Grado into the ground?  Was it hard to teach yourself to breathe through your ass, or is that natural talent?

Complaint #3: Lyon’s motivations are all over the place.  This starts because he revives Vigarde, and this breaks the Sacred Stone, creating the Dark Stone that houses the Demon King.  Okay cool, this is when the possession starts.  But remember, they’re presenting this like Lyon’s in control.  After this point, Lyon still takes leadership.  He still makes the commands, through his father.  And he instigates a war.  Why?  Well, they never really say.  One answer is envy of Ephraim, and a desire to beat him.  The other is self-sacrifice.  He talks with Knoll about some documents that allegedly allow him to circumvent the foreseen history, and it involves human sacrifice and great magical power.  He plans to use the Demon King’s power and his own sacrifice to accomplish this.  But that...doesn’t explain the war.  You could just kill yourself on your own time, dude.  Like, hidden motivations include saving your people, but all of this was the worst possible method.  If you anticipated latching on to other nations after your death ends the royal bloodline, then your people are now reviled for being instigators in a completely meaningless war.  They’re less likely to get help than ever.  If it was to conquer territory for them to move to before the catastrophe, then why self-sacrifice at all?  The war now has a point, but nothing else does, because you’d have accomplished your goal through the war.

So basically, if Lyon’s in control, there are two possible motives for the war: showing off to beat Ephraim, or a pre-cursor to your self-sacrifice for some reason.  Either way, it’s super shitty.  Like really, what’s your motivation for enacting continental warfare?  Complete disillusionment regarding mankind’s right to rule, and seeking to end strife through complete subjugation by another species that (allegedly) doesn’t feel the emotions that lead men to folly?  The belief that war is inevitable and that living beings cannot help but kill one another for the most banal of reasons, and thus the most just course is to re-awaken their creator to put them all to an eternal rest?  Recognition that the structure of society is so bad that people are constantly suffering and dying, and decided to stand up and tear the structures out by the roots through bloody conquest if necessary, in hopes of a better tomorrow?  Or because your childhood friend’s dick was too huge and made you feel inadequate/you had to kill yourself and I guess this was the best you could come up with?

The more likely reason given how fucking incomprehensible his motivations are otherwise, is that the Demon King was always in full control.  That Lyon was never actually in command of things, but thought he was, even as the Demon King ate away at him from within.  This makes more sense, because it’s just...Demon King killing things for funsies.  But it also means Lyon has 0 actual agency, and it’s even more just the demon king.  In Eirika’s route, Lyon actually fights back and wrestles control, if just for brief moments at a time.  But in Ephraim’s, the only implication that makes sense is that Lyon never had anything.  He was never in control, and never even put up a fight.  He was just easily duped into believing that these were his conscious decisions.  Which makes Lyon a lot less compelling overall.

I just...I don’t like Sacred Stones.  I figure that’s clear, but it’s good to be open about it.  I feel like the game just tries so hard to make Ephraim the coolest thing ever, and every male character (except Seth) who interacts with Eirika is just obsessed with this notion of needing to be better than him before she’ll love them back.  It’s why I can’t stand Innes.  All their supports are is him being bullheaded and insisting that no, he has to protect her, because that’s how this is supposed to go, and he will be better than Ephraim so she’ll accept him.  Fuck you, Innes.  Though man, Lyon’s not much better.  I can at least sympathize with Lyon’s feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty about Eirika reciprocating, but the fact that it all boils back down to Ephraim again...god, neither of them even consider Eirika in this.  It’s all about Ephraim and your own dick-focused insecurities.  At no point do either of you consider Eirika’s feelings in the matter, everything’s about you you you, and needing to be better than Ephraim who’s just too cool I guess.  May as well rename this Toxic Masculinity: The Game at this rate.

tldr, Ephraim’s route sucks.  Eirika’s route is at least a decent tragedy, but sidelines its main character too hard to really feel like her route.  Lyon would be better off without Ephraim’s route.  The end.

[blookmallow]

skyrim misadventures, ft Weird Magic Stuff, a determined spite mission, and some spooky encounters

-----

still absolutely love this guy 

[me, the leader of the brotherhood, who just assassinated the fucking emperor a few weeks ago] oh we’re not, huh

sighs i really want to do the thieves guild storyline but i dont want to work with the slimeball scam elixir guy to run a decent dude out of business for no reason... i like brand-shei hes my friend :( 

i might not go through with it on this file, i definitely will with my khajiit though if nothing else 

i know having a khajiit thief character is way obvious lmao but 

nice 

NICE

i forget which quest this was but I FOUND A SKELETON DRAGON????? IVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE

holy SHIT thats so many skeletons

i got SO many skulls in here 

i also found this spooky hand, but couldnt figure out anything to do with it yet, unless its just here for Ominous Mage Experiments Gone Wrong purposes 

anyway all this was on a quest to find the augur, which nobody wanted to talk about and kept going “ohh yeah.... he Used To Be a student.... until..... The Accident” and i was losing my MIND trying to imagine what kind of horrific thing this guy got turned into but then i finally found him and 

:/ hes just a big glowy ball

which, i mean, is cool and all, but i was hoping for like, a dude who turned himself inside out or became some eldritch horror or something 

through all these winterhold quests i started finally getting half decent at magic (not like, Good, but acceptably ok) and decided to finally go back for that one disastrous cidnha mine quest ive been avoiding 

you get thrown in the markarth prison mines with nothing and gotta find a way to escape, which can be accomplished without too much trouble if you band together with your fellow inmates, however, they are fucking forsworn and will start murdering everyone near them once they escape with you

 i dont know if that keeps you stuck with a bounty in markarth or not, but i REALLY didnt want to release the forsworn leader out into the world, or be friends with those fuckers, or ruin my reputation, or risk civilian casualties even though theres not really that many people i care particularly about in markarth now that muiri is safe is solitude, so. i had previously just reloaded a save and ignored the quest for ages

because like. i dont think you Can get out on your own and if you try to turn on them and fight once you make your escape its REALLY hard to survive bc they outnumber you and you dont have any armor or anything other than like, shitty prison shivs 

however: the guards cannot take away your magic or your shouts, so

this time i was fucking ready, i have the ability to summon a FRIEND now to fight with me (i dont know what would’ve happened if i had a companion with me during this mess but like. i can Make one), i learned how to make a magic sword so id at least have some kind of halfway decent weapon, and ive got healing magic 

cool dragon powers also help (this was from. later on bc i have my stuff in this shot but)

this was still hard as shit, lucien got defeated pretty early on, and with no magicka potions its really hard to keep healing while fighting but i eventually fucking DID IT, i killed every single forsworn prisoner including madanach, and escaped myself (which granted me a pardon and some kind of special ring i dont care about from the silverbloods) 

i mentioned this misadventure to my dad later and he legitimately didnt know it was even possible to do this lmao i was VERY determined not to help the forsworn ever in any way

those guys ruin my day every five minutes when im out anywhere near their camps even if i try to avoid them like the plague i hate them!! 

i kept the shivs though and later discovered 

you can enchant them

LOOK at this cavern!!!!!!!

also i ran into a fucking headless horseman ??????

i didnt even know he was there until i heard lucien unsheathing his weapon when he saw it behind me and i looked to see what he was concerned about 

i followed him for ages like halfway across the map but eventually i had so many bandits and wolves and also a dragon chasing after me i lost sight of him after a while :’| WILD though

not that im ever going to sell it but i cant help noticing the blade of woe is worth 666 gold, 

cicero’s always mentioning he wants skyforge steel so i bought him a skyforge dagger and enchanted it for him (i think i put silent moons enchantment on it, i forget), finally remembered to give it to him but didnt take back the other dagger i gave him before to see if he’d pick which one he wants to use and here he is using his new one.... baby likes his present im so glad,

granted its probably just like, an automatic npc thing to just use whatever weapon has the best stats but i like to think he likes it

he still says the line all the time he doesn’t have like. special dialogue if you Do give him skyforge steel or anything but still

anyway i also had this mission going for boethiah where i was supposed to. bring her a sacrifice, essentially. which, yeah, ok, obvious bad idea, but im already an assassin, whats the difference at this point right 

my first thought was to go hire a random mercenary at windhelm, since many of the most unpleasant people in skyrim seem to live there, and i figured the chances were pretty good hes racist and insufferable like the others

but we ended up killing a dragon together and god damn it hes actually a nice guy, i like him :’) so we’re friends now after all

however, boethiah still needed a sacrifice, and. there’s this drunk guy in markarth you can hire after you defeat him in a brawl, and. he doesn’t seem to have a lot going on in his life other than shit tons of mead, so. i figured he’d do :’ ) 

holy FUCK

i dont regret carrying out this quest bc like... A) it was really cool and B) -

i eventually got this fuckin SICK armor out of it that ups my stealth while actually being pretty legit defense, and it poisons any enemies that come near me but somehow doesnt poison friendly npcs which is WILD and incredibly convenient for when im getting mobbed but dont want to accidentally murder whatever companion i have with me at the time

i do feel bad about sacrificing cosnach though like. he was little more than a random drunk guy but that doesn’t mean he deserved it, y’know :’ ) i couldn’t find anyone i hated that would also follow me though

also i later discovered on the wiki you can actually marry that guy, and im just like. why, out of all the options you have in skyrim, would you go for “random drunk dude who gets in bar fights” 

i dunno maybe he grows on you if you fight with him for a while but i didnt want to get attached again :’) 

i found wisps??? i think?????? i couldnt figure out any way to interact with them but they glow and bounce around and i LOVE them

woah!!!!!!

i. dont remember what was in there but apparently the wisps really wanted me to find it 

(i do remember getting stuck in this room and couldn’t figure out how to get the door to open though so i just kinda backtracked and left the way i came in, dunno if i missed anything important or if it was just an alternate way out that i couldnt figure out)