#who is normally great about my disability and issues and shit

[cryptiduni]

“white mourning.”

[sunflowerandstrawberryspice]

CARMEN SANDIEGO? In 2024? It's more likely thank you think! Please excuse the shit quality for some reason I wasn't allowed to upload the normal pdf and I had to upload a fucking screenshot???

So my friend convinced me to watch Carmen Sandiego and since he's watching ALL of Ninjago for me I thought it was the least I could do to watch four season of a show with a pretty decent concept but uh... yeesh, don't get me wrong the show is really fun but lord have mercy does it have problems especially the last two seasons which were just so wildly disappointing to me. It went from a show with an interesting look on morals to pure pro-cop and mostly black and white thinking so quick (that not mentioning the breaking up a found family full of people with abandonment issues) it was honestly just so disappointing so me and the friend who introduced it to me decided to rewrite it! (I will not be animating nor do I plan on doing more than MAYBE a comic or art piece here and there because my chronic pain ridden ass can not handle that much lol)

The main goals are to:

1) Flesh out characters that aren't Carmen and actually give them reactions based on their lived experiences and how they might realistically react instead of what the show needed to move the plot along

2) Having characters other than Carmen be actually relevant to the plot the main one being Chase Devineaux who we're gonna kind of have as a parallel to Carmen (trust me yall) as kind of a "What if Carmen didn't have her friends/family to ground her and fall back on" but for all the Chase fans out there (gods I hope there's some other than me) he will be getting a happy ending but bro is getting put through the RINGER first

3) Have both A.C.M.E (now standing for Administration for Containing and Monitoring Evil) and V.I.L.E be the bad guys. Also just as an extra bit of fun we're making VILE a full blown cult, they were very cult like in the show so we're just gonna make it one. Both are going to be very morally questionable and while it'll take a bit longer for ACME to show it's true colors don't you worry they definitely will ;)

4) We're doing canonical lgbtq+ rep, I know the show teased a lot of relationships and really only gave yall background gays not to say thats bad but we can do better than just a brief shot of a damn taco truck. I mean like come on in a story about a young woman going against the government for the greater good why not put some rep into it ya know!

5) We're making it light sci-fi, not like SUPER high tech but definitely beyond what we've got currently, as shown with Carmen's prosthetic, and don't worry I'm doing my research as a disabled person I know how it feels to be misrepresented or ignored so I want to make sure I'm being realistic

6) PLAYER ISN'T GOING TO BE A CHILD! I don't know if this bothered anybody else but to me it was really weird that this 16 year old's only friends were in their 20s!

Alright I think that's what I'm gonna say for now, I'd love it if yall tuned in for updates if your curious since this is a passion project for me and my friend and we're having a blast writing it!

As always I am still working on stuff for Ninjago cause I could never abandon my one true love, currently there's a Pixal drawing in progress (it's giving me hell T-T) something for Cole and Geo, and something of Sora MAYBE even Euphrasia if I'm feeling up to it.

Having said that I hope yall have a great day/night and PEACE OUT!

[luckyshouse]

ive been in the psychiatric system since i was 11 or 12, my dad is a disabled autistic veteran who was disabled before becoming a veteran, my mom is a schizophrenic woman (she also thinks she has ADHD, i think she has autism.) who is physically disabled, my youngest sister is a semi verbal autistic. my great uncle is in a permanent holding facility due to his schizophrenia. my grandpa is a physically disabled ex firefighter, my uncle is an semi verbal autistic man, my aunt is also schizophrenic and physically disabled. my grandma experiences intense psychotic symptoms and imo is autistic. my great aunt has cereberal palsy, her caretaker is a part of our family. many of my uncles still live with their parents due to physical disabilities or mental disabilities that have made it impossible for them to work. this is why i speak about disability so much. my family is from all over, my dads parents are from mexico and ireland, my moms side of the family is from italy, and one thing that has always followed is disability and specifically ableism. many of us use mobility aides, AAC devices, etc. but one thing i've learned through all of this, is insisting that you are normal and arent disabled will literally rot your body and soul. people ask me how my family ever ended up so fucked up, why my dad is literally a cartoonish villain, why my mom is so crazy. and the answer isn't "theyre mentally unwell people" the answer is "they were literally barred from being who they are and getting the help they needed before they became adults and were constantly having adults in their lives reject and deny the pain they're in and force them through shit like military service or disabling work just to prove their worth and ensure they don't end up homeless and that caused them to lose sight of who they are and what their needs were and there for cut them off from their own empathy and understanding of themselves and other people and caused them to see any signs of disability as a trigger and an immediate scary thing that needed to be corrected"

people assume my family should be aware and educated about their disorders, as if that would've saved them from homelessness. as if having the disorder means you know about it and how to get over it. the reason i talk about disability so much is because literally no one else is willing to. if bringing up disability and ableism is proof that im a narcissist or ignoring other issues, then so be it. no one else is fucking doing it anyways.

[soullessjack]

Hello sorry for an ask. I am very sick, my asthma is at its maximum level, my nose freezes, I have no medicine or food. I am in bad shape financially, I am a black disabled, who uses multiple medications, I pay for my food and lodging

Unfortunately I do not have all the resources to keep me safe, that is why I need your help, whatever you can contribute to me will be of great help.

there’s no way you thought this would work when this is the second time you’ve tried your little loser scam on my blog you stupid fuck 💀

anyways folks there’s a very common pattern I’ve noticed in some of these scams that I’d now like to point out to y’all

1) they’re extremely recent. 1-5 days old at best. this one is a day old.

2) they have that tumblr-generated name that never makes any sense, and if they try to make another blog again, the name is usually related in some way

3) they’ll almost always have this pfp and header. Sometimes the pfp changes (usually stolen from real campaigns) but the header is always the same. I shit you not I’ve already seen it so many times before now

4) their fundraiser or PayPal links are always multi-colored?? For some fucking reason?? and the name given on their account is either completely different from the name given on their blog, or they just don’t have a name given. they also have extremely minimal or vague information given about their identity, health issues etc.

5) they’ve used those specific tags — artists on tumblr, donations, free Palestine, etc — before. I use cross tags for donation posts as well but for someone who gives zero indication of being Palestinian, that’s a weird fucking tag to use for reach.

6) they usually reblog something related to activism, especially posts related to Palestine currently, but there’s always something else completely unrelated in there — like this fanfic.

I won’t go on a spiel about how that’s also a normal thing for nearly all blogs to do and isn’t always indicative of a scam, but for ones that claim to be in an active and severe health or housing crisis (hence their asking for donations) it’s something to look out for

again, these are just patterns and signs I’ve noticed personally from scams that I’ve been sent, I’m not an expert on any of this stuff. honestly just searching their username or other common scams on tumblr is a quick way to figure them out before you go ahead with anything else. but remember to stay safe and cautious, and know how to distinguish these from people who are actually in need.

[squadrah]

Been thinking about this, but which members of La Squadra would be childfree(have almost or completely no interest in having children) and which would like to have a family(if given the chance)? And how big of a family?

Not my forte, but I'll do my best!

Risotto: He strikes me as the type that, given the chance, would have settled down to continue his family's business and had at least one child. I headcanon that he was an only child because being a large baby, the pregnancy and birth was quite difficult and his parents decided not to risk another one. If he faced the same risk with his first child, he would stop at one to spare his partner, but if size was not an issue, he would be content to have several children.

Formaggio: On paper, he is definitely childfree, and had probably bailed on relationships with partners who either started entertaining the idea of having children together, or were too relaxed about contraceptives. He's too independent and carefree to actually want children of his own, and yet if he had to babysit, he would find that he's actually quite good with children, and from there it might not be out of the question with the right partner to have some.

Prosciutto: He is fully capable of being a provider and mentor to children, but having any of his own is not a priority to him in the slightest, and he would not be enticed to make any in order to start a family. Children would have to happen to him in the form of say, becoming acquainted with a worthy child who is up for adoption, or an unexpected pregnancy popping up with a partner that he is firmly committed to. Would definitely draw the line at two.

Pesci: He thinks children are fine and it must be nice to have a family, but he is too self-conscious about passing down his genes and doubts his own ability to take on such a huge responsibility and be a good parent whether his child turns out typical or not, so he tends to play it safe and never really think about it. It would take a very capable and confident partner for him to risk it, and even just one child would be quite nerve wrecking for him to handle.

Ghiaccio: He is in a similar boat to Pesci, but he is much more firmly childfree on account of having his hands full just trying to manage his own temper and energy in a constructive manner. He's also in the camp of "why bring more children onto this bitch of an earth" so he would equally scoff at any of the others expressing interest. I tend to headcanon him as asexual on top of everything else, so the idea of having sex to have children would be quite repulsive to him.

Melone: He is more chill about the idea than the others in the sense that with his disabilities, children are mostly out of the question, but if he managed to have one, he would probably be excited... at least until said child entered their defiant phase, at which point he would start wondering why he ever thought this would be a good idea. He's basically the reverse of Formaggio: on paper children sound good, and then they say no to him once and he's done forever.

Illuso: His opinions are mixed. As a middle child from a numerous family, he knows first hand how messy children can be, and he's not exactly in the right place mentally or emotionally to start a family. On the other hand, he loves drama and would probably get a kick out of observing his own children have blowouts, as long as he didn't have to deal with any of it. Three would be plenty, and he fantasizes about them tearing each other apart over the inheritance.

Sorbet: Absolutely agrees with Ghiaccio about it being cruel to bring more children into life's great shit show, and his frugal nature also rejects the idea on financial grounds. He is probably the most normal about being childfree - you will not find him having arguments either for or against, and if pressed, he will dismiss any attempts with it being a personal preference and his choice. The most he could tolerate is being an uncle, as long as the child liked plants and opera.

Gelato: He, on the other hand, loves children, and not just the idea of them one way or another. To him they are as precious as kittens and puppies are to most people, and he really enjoys their company because kids are very honest and also little freaks with unique ideas and views. If he could, he would have a gaggle about him at all times, but he is also one of the worst enablers ever, so it's probably a good thing that he can't go out and start a family of his own.

[foster-the-world]

Fun!

Oh Mary play was fun. Bizarre fun. Not sure it was my favorite but def some clever moments. My husband was a big fan.

A few years back I mentored one young mother through a very small nonprofit that helps former foster youth. Its basically two middle aged ladies who helped out a group of 8-10 former foster youth. They act as the informal support most people would receive from their family + recruit mentors. Anyway, they reached out today because one of the people in their current group has a ten year old whose struggling in school. Apparently her's in a not great school in the Bronx. Asked if I had any resources since we aren't that far. Neither of the group leaders have school aged kids. Wanted to know if a charter school would help him. So hard to know. If he's just having trouble because the schools not great then most charter schools will provide extra hours support to get him caught up. If he has a learning disability then most charter schools are going to counsel him out. They don't want kids who are going to bring down their test scores :( So depressing.

I tried to provide the DOE process of getting special need services but that takes months to even get an assessment spot. Compared to 99.9% of places there are a shit ton of resources. You can get literally hundred of thousands of dollars of services provided by the city. I know so many people who get over $200,000 of services per year free of charge from the city. Top notch/can't be better services. But its a fulltime job to figure it out and you've got to be first in line or its not happening. Or you need the cash to pay for assessments, etc that prove your kid needs these services. I have some friends that work in charter schools so if she's in the right neighborhood I can see if they still have room. I provided info on an organization that helps. But its all going to take so much time. For example today I've spent at least 2.5 hours researching, talking to other parents and texting with his providers. Its not an abnormal day. I'm not currently trying to chase down any new services. It just what is normal. I mean a little extra as its only the second week of school but still. I'm lucky I can do it at work/lunchtime. Anyway its all depressing. I don't know a solution. I'm thankful services are there but there has to be a better way.

I'm touring a school geared for ADHD kids next week. It would be for Kindergarten next year. Looks good for him. My only fear is they don't accept kids with behavior issues. He's a four year old boy with ADHD of course he has behavior issues. Why else would we be there? I assume they mean aggression? Going to find out. I read they require the kids to be medicated. I'm assuming that's for older kids. I can't imagine its a requirement for 5 year old. The APA doesn't even recommend until 6 unless there are extreme issues. We are unfortunately in the extreme issues territory hence looking for a school for kids with ADHD. I'm surprised private schools can make that requirement but I guess private schools can do whatever the hell they want. Seems fishy considering I'm sure every kid there has sued the city to have them foot the bill.

Baby boys doctor wants us to try Flovant to stop the asthma. Its the normal protocol. Not excited that some people have behavioral issues as a side effect. Not what my kid needs more of. Of course, as his doctor pointed out kids behavior gets much worse when they are feeling bad because of an asthma outbreak. Also, nervous because we are thinking of trying ADHD meds next month. I don't want to mix new things. Also, don't want to wait on the Flovant because Oct/Nov are his problem asthma months.

Feeling stronger about trying the ADHD meds. Every medical provider I've talked to has encouraged us to try. I know some people would take that as doctor's wanting a quick fix. I don't agree. I think they've seen it work from other kids and don't want our kids to suffer unnecessarily. Our ADHD parent coach- whose a big wig that's done a ton of published research on ADHD was very supportive of the idea.

Baby boy has also been using some language that is so sad. "My body feels wild. I can't stop it." "I'm mean to my friends. I don't know why." "I'm bad." He's only four. We don't use "bad" language. I don't want him thinking these things about himself. He has a really hard time controlling his body but he has the sweetest little heart.

Parent Teacher night for the girls. Excited to hear from Bee's teachers - as they are both new to the school. Bee had Rebel's teacher last year so that's not new.

The very kind teacher at the school who produces a morning announcement video created by/with the kids every morning announced she was pregnant today. I happened to be in the office. The kids were so excited. Very sweet.

[hbosscreations]

Fixing Hellblazer: Dead in America

Apparently I'm not doing being negative today, so I'm going to channel my bullshit into fixing things.

Let me tell you a bit about me. I love bad horror movies. I LOVE horror movies that aren't great, but you can see how they COULD be great under different circumstances. My favorite thing to do for years was take a movie that wasn't good and think about what needed to be done to fix it.

Dead in America actually has a pretty simple fix that would help with the rewrite. You'd have to rewrite the whole thing, this draft isn't salvagable, but if you really want to tell the story about American Racism, it's such an easy fix, I don't know why they didn't do it in the first place.

Make Noah Ikumelo the main character.

Seriously. That's the big change.

Maybe he's not the focal character for the entire 11 issue run, but have him be the perspective of at least one issue instead of the random racists that keep getting their stories told like we're supposed to care about them.

Issue 1: Flee

Tommy is dead, K-Mag is dead, they're on the run, and John says 'well, I've got friends in America who could help us out'.

Noah's scared, Nat's scared, John seems to have a plan. So, they're off to America with no money, no papers, nothing but the clothes on their backs.

It's okay at first, John's magic lets him manipulate people a bit, gets them through security checks and keeps them fed, but it's definitely not enough to keep them safe forever.

Noah has a bunch of exposition he gives about being black in the UK, about being disabled, about his feelings about his mother (being a cop, being in a coma, being weird about magic).

How he has always felt unheard until John came into the picture and saw him.

They're traveling, the fear starts to wear off, Noah realizes they've fled the country and his mother is alone.

Where's his gran? This is a point to show flashbacks. Maybe she's not mentally all there? Maybe Noah has been sleeping on John's couch. Maybe he's been learning magic during the months we don't see in the original run. Not a lot, John tells him that he likes that Noah's not really involved in this shit.

Until the murder dreams, when Noah starts getting a crash course in magic and hasn't had a chance to think about anything except John and his stupid plans.

The issue ends with them on the freight ship they stowed away on approaching the docks. They've arrived in port, and it's time to leave. John puts his hand on the double decker bus and reassures them both that he's got this. He's got a plan, and things are going to be okay.

He looks fondly at Noah, and Noah wonders if he can trust that face. Can he believe John?

He doesn't really have a choice, does he?

Issue 2: Where is everyone?

This issue is mostly from John's perspective and his narrating voice takes control again.

John reaches out to old contacts. They're gone. Dead or never existed in the first place. No capes and cowls in this universe. Just magic, divinity, and damnation.

They're fucked.

Meanwhile, Noah and Nat both realize that they're being treated differently than John is. Both have experienced different types of prejudice based on race, gender, disability, and now there's an extra layer of it. The American layer that the story really wants to talk about.

John gets a little, but it's pretty clear that people are generally cooler with a blond haired, blue eyed, white man with an accent than they are with Noah's lack of speaking and Nat's heavy Glaswegian accent.

There's a level of cruelty that makes being trapped in another country, unable to call anyone and tell them that you're alive, unable to know if your family is safe, unable to know if you were even a suspect in the crimes committed, extra fucky.

John's contacts he'd normally call are all of touch the easy way.

So, fine. If he can't call them, he'll go to their usual haunts and track them that way.

Hence, road trip.

This leads into the actual comic scene where John is in St. Augustine, Florida and talking to the statue.

You can still have the Girl Scout come and be cryptic and cruel, have John losing his shit over the fact that he's damned Noah to hell.

(Or we can include my favorite headcanon that Noah was supposed to be a tulpa designed to distract John. I don't know if it would work here, but a story about a kid literally designed to be a sponge for prejudice and cruelty might be a mirror this story about racism could play with. It would need a MUCH more competent writer than me and at least two sensitivity readers.)

Noah wants to pull over for a hitchhiker, they've got the space and he's kind, but John cautions him that America is VERY different from London. We learn that Noah has not traveled much outside of his home city if at all because of his mother's profession and then her coma, leaving him in the care of his gran, who lived on the estate and therefore didn't really have much in the ability or desire to go far.

The dream with Dream still happens, which gives us a nice connection to the previous story as well as John's whole...being dead thing. They're looking for the sand, they're looking for friendly faces, they're looking for magic in a world that John quickly realizes is GASPING and DYING.

Because the multiverse still got punched in the dick by Tim Hunter, and while this world hasn't been hit by him specifically, it's feeling some of the multiversal repercussions of an apocalypse that massive.

And John doesn't have the power to get them out of this while he's a corpse. The longer he rots, the weaker he gets.

Dream gives his orders. John agrees.

They wake up, Noah is being threatened by the cop because he's black and driving a bus. We don't make it about the cop being too stupid to know what a bus is this time, instead, we make it because the bus looks strange and 'why is a black boy driving a bus unless he stole it? obviously he's a thief and he's refusing to speak out of disrespect'.

That fucking sucks, but it also works more to the actual threat of racism in the US. The OTHERING. They're dangerous because they're OTHER. They're lesser because they're OTHER.

Nat keeps the cop's gun after he's frozen. She's freaked. Noah's freaked.

John calmly tells them the spell won't last forever and they need to drive. Nat goes to the wheel and we watch Noah sneak up to the upper level and cry.

John watches from the stairs until he's sure Noah is asleep. He doesn't know how to offer this particular kid comfort, how to offer to hold him without revealing his death or just being too attached.

We see him put his coat over the boy as a symbol of protection. He brushes a hand over Noah's head and asks Dream to look out for the kid.

"I know you're pissed at me and I don't really have the right to ask, but hasn't he had enough nightmares for now?"

Noah's dream about all the horrible things he's processing from the previous issue, the previous run, and that night melt into something more pleasant. Maybe the groundwork for him learning John is his father.

John is back with Nat as she's driving. She's angry. The conversation from the original issue can stay and be expanded on. John tries to comfort her, tries to ease the tension, and it eventually works.

She gets what he's doing, even if he's not doing a good job.

This is a Classic John Constantine who cares about other people but isn't necessarily good at showing it.

The sun starts to rise.

"Where the fuck are we going now? We're a target in this thing, John, and that cop's gonna call us in."

John reassures that they're fine and he's got a new plan.

Most of the hero types don't exist now, but that's fine. He's started to tap into the multiversal memories that he'd repressed in the 2019 issue, and he's pretty sure that he's got a friend who will exist in this universe, even if people like Zatanna and Superman don't.

After all, the Green is a multiversal constant.

This leads into the ending of the original issue 1, with the swamp being filled in and turned into a golf course.

And that ends issue 2.

I don't know if I want to invest energy into re-imagining the entire run, and I suspect that would require the run to be finished before I can properly fix anything except the opening. If you actually read this...sorry about the way it's written, this was all just thought to typing, so it has 0 polish.

I think this is a series that could have worked under different circumstances. I think there are elements here that are good, but this was clearly not written with any real oversight or a coherent story beforehand.

I would have loved for them to learn magic on the bus. Scenes of Nat and Noah picking up spells, Nat teaching Noah the proper way to throw a punch that won't fuck up his hands. Noah being REALLY good at making sure they all manage to eat properly (I am deeply invested in this child shoving oranges into people's hands because 'do you want scurvy?').

A scene of John teaching Nat sign language while Noah slept because he's already so isolated and they all need to take care of each other. Nat forcing John to drive, only for him to hit a car and immediately switch back to her driving. Nat reading a novel aloud to keep Noah awake while they drive at night.

Basically, we need to make them seem like they're actual people who actually spend all of their time trapped together.

Also, does John eat? How have they noticed that he doesn't eat? Does he sweat? If he showers, does that damage his skin and hair, since he's apparently molding at the start of the series?

[thousandyearphantombunker]

i watched the movie Akelarre and it's this great period piece story about a group of basque girls accused of witchcraft when the men of their home are away and inorder to postpone their execution they bid time by tempting him with the witches sabbath- what I love about it is their is no supernatural element. None of these girls are actually powerful witches- they are normal teenagers who lie to and fuck around with horrible sexist men with guile and you see how stupid the logic of their inquisitor is.

I've talked about the oppressed mage trope before and why while I don't think it's a bad trope that needs to retire- its certainly very lazy and not a very good mirror to real world oppression at all and their are more believable and compelling ways to depict power as a curse or generate conflict. aang as the avatar is expected to reject a massive part of his cultural identity (his pacifism) and has to let go of his worldly attachments (katara), he has to be the one to save the world cause no one else can and him being rejected by his peers when he wanted to play and being excluded makes sense and he is oppressed for reasons outside of his powers. Steven universe has to struggle with his powers a lot, he almost ages himself to death and ages himself rapidly in reverse, and he projects his anxieties and subconscious thoughts onto technology beyond accident (that sounds like a fucking nightmare) heck RWBY while deeply a flawed show, shows why being a maiden would suck- Amber seems to have been isolated from the rest of the world for her protection (to keep her away from other more powerful magic users that would use her) and Fria an older woman with Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia is isolated as well stuck in her hospital room only allowed Winter's company to ensure that Winter would be the last person in her mind so that the maiden powers would be given to her both woman saddled with incredible responsibility, ice kings's powers came at the cost of Simon's sanity. And it's so much interesting than the shit x men and owl house pulls- love both but whenever they try and make real world parallels to gay rights or civil rights it kind of falls flat.

Whenever I've heard people complain about the issues with this trope it's always from the racial or gay perspective so I wanna try a different lens- disability. discrimination against disabled people often uses the idea that people with mental illnesses are dangerous or have an 'unfair' advantage.

People with BPD and ASPD are often kicked out of therapy and helpful services because of how demonized these disorders people with psychotic disorders are often ignored by police and gaslit on top of having a disorder that can make their grip on reality tenuous- they aren't seen as trustworthy, People with learning disabilities are denied opportunities and scholarships if they mention it and boy oh boy if your special Ed in any capacity say goodbye to AP classes and say hello to being more restricted in what your allowed to do compared to your able classmates, physically disabled people are accused of being fakers and 'too sensitive' and the world isn't all that accommodating (I've seen way too many videos of ramps that aren't useful to wheelchair users at all) and too many people who freak out over disabled people getting accommodations/help of any kind- kids getting extra timr on tests, more bathroom breaks, financial assistance, interpreters etc- to many people they see these as unfair advantages

I remember a boy in my class broke both of his legs at one point and people called it unfair he got to use the elevator and that the rest of us couldn't- i knew another boy who had a concussion who was allowed to opt out of computer class and do math instead and he got crap cause 'he was basically skipping class. My sister had to take highschool all over again because she was a special needs student (dyslexia and ADHD) and the diploma she earned was considered 'invalid' and when she got so sick she passed a lot and needed to recover from a traumatic emergency surgery she got yelled at and got in trouble for using her temporary extra accomodations- i was told growing up that i didn't belong in normal classes because I needed double time to complete tests, that if I couldn't do it in the normal amount of time that meant I didn't know what I was doing and that I was too stupid to be in the second grade and needed to be kept in kindergarten and that went on for years- I'd be told to stop reading the books I bought to school because I was too dumb to read them basically and every tiny mistake I made was used to forcibly push me to be put in special ed (i barely made mistakes btw- so no i didn't beed to be put in sped- I read at super high level as a kid) my classmates would fuck up just as much as I did- no one would bat an eye, i would catch onto patterns faster than my classmates, id point out details they never seemed to see but because of my shit memory and misunderstanding what the teacher was saying meaning that I needed some extra time to complete a test meant I was r34@!d3d and obviously because i needed that extra time i again was told i didn't know what i was doing, my other sister with dyscalcula was forced to take a test without accomodations they knew she needed to prove she was disabled again despite having an iep that was given to them because reasons i guess also she has a personality disorder that she doesn't want fully specified to avoid the problems that could come from a bpd or aspd diagnosis- I remember at one point being told i was basically a cheater for needing extra time, that my autism symptoms was just being bratty (and the way autism symptoms where described made people with asd sound like godawful immature people) and again that if i 'didn't know what i was doing' I didn't belong- the thing about this is these excuses people used to justify this shit are used in fiction towards a group of people that actually are super dangerous and actually have an unfair advantage- they get oppressed using the same excuses but in their case this shit is true.

Disabled people are oppressed because they get disadvantage and that disadvantage is used to justify oppressing them- even your part of an oppressed racial or sexual minority you can still walk and have a normal brain capacity- being black or gay doesn't effect your ability to walk or read or feel emotions it effects your treatment, the way people judge you- but being disabled does in fact effect your ability- it effects your empathy, your physical strength, your intelligence negatively so that already makes life harder than able people then people see that you are unable in someway and use that to make life even harder cause we equate ability with worth and what treatment a person 'deserves'. It's because of shit like that, that I know people with powers wouldn't be oppressed- they'd be beloved, any fear toward them would be justified if their power level reached a certain point and in general they wouldn't be oppressed because oppression flows from power not to it.

With antisemitism Islamophobia and racism and lgbt-phobic rhetoric they have to make up excuses too- they make shit up like 'black men are rapists, Jews are always genocidal hoard all the wealth and are secretly running the universe and are at fault for everything baf and are pedos, Muslims are terrorist and gay people will corrupt our children into being sex toys' none of which is true! Also again disabled people's accomodations (extra time, breaks, getting a bit of extra focus, getting to use an elevator or ramp cause their on a fucking wheelchair) aren't unfair advantages that are negatively impacting able people (me getting to take a short break from class does not take away from your experiences or cause you problems Deborah)

It's funny in the real people are oppressed because they don't have power or even have disadvantages and they have problems like incontinence or being unable to get out of bed and in fiction they are oppressed because they have too much power and are super cool. I love x men Scott Summers has been my favorite x men since i was like 8 but the x men makes zero sense, they would not be oppressed, REAL advantages are never used to justify oppressing people- REAL advantages are used to oppress people (I emphasized REAL for a reason as someone who has accomodations they are not an actual advantage over my neurotypical classmates). Jewish people, gay and trans people don't have special powers so you can throw them in jail easy, people with Crohn's and learning disabilities and cerebral palsy have disadvantages/struggles which are used to justify oppression meanwhile people in fiction are oppressed for their advantages and lack of struggle. The girls in Akelarre have no powers, they only narrowly escape their execution via trolling the guy abusing them into thinking he can see the witches sabbath if he lets them live until the time the men come back, and that's how you do write irl oppression, fma also knew what it was doing with the Ishvalans- no special powers just normal people with a different appearance. Let's not retire the oppressed mage trope there is a place for it but let's be aware that the excuses used to justify it mimic irl ableist excuses and that because of that it can lead to uncomfortable implications if your not careful

it feels like that trope in fanfic where someone is a straight up god mod sue and none of the conflict feels believable because of them having such extreme power that the conflict should be a corpse,.so the writer just makes shit up. I Love stories with this trope (I actually like the god mod sue fanfics and I'm willing to ignore bullshit conflict so long as the drama that ensues is juicy enough) and I'm not offended by it (again x man fan) but again I would love to see people come up with better conflict than nonsensical fantasy racism allegory that doesn't work as an actual race allegory when you apply logic to it. It's overdone and I wanna see people get creative.

Tldr the oppressed mage trope makes no logical sense (how the fuck do you oppress magneto?) and irl peoples disadvantages are used the excuse to oppress them and when the excuse is that the oppressed party has power that power is made up/ its fake/greatly exaggerated.

Also the last time I linked this article the link didn't work so here I go again:

[shsl-heck]

So because I've seen it compared to Worm, I started reading The Boys by Garth Ennis. It's bad! Like really bad! It feels like what would happen if you let an edgy anti-feminist atheist youtuber from 2015 write a comic book. I finished the first volume of the omnibus in large part because it was a train wreck I couldn't look away from, and am debating starting the second since I hate myself. The most interesting parts are actually the little forewords. Through them I learned both that it was supposed to be a comedy, and also a critique of the military industrial complex/police (or at least that people read it as one). This was surprising to me since it is neither funny nor incisive. Anyway, now I want to ramble incoherently about my problems with it because this goddamn comic broke my brain.

Okay, so one of the most common ways it shows you which characters you aren't supposed to like is by having them do comically "gross" sex stuff. Notable examples include cocaine fueled orgies, mentions of shitting during sex, bestiality, masturbating in public to the sight of disabled people, and a little person using sex toys. One that shows up repeatedly in this context is characters being bisexual or gay. Now, I don't wanna get controversial, but I think any claims that your work is a critique of capitalism, police, the military, or whatever are rendered moot when your villains are a group of secret hedonistic sex-freaks. Like we can't pretend that doesn't sound a lot like regressives and their obsession with "degeneracy". Sexual assaults, misogyny, and slurs also appear pretty often, mostly as the punch line for jokes. Victims are rendered down into objects and denied any sense of interiority so we can instead focus on what really matters (gore porn, and middle school 4chan posters' sense of humor). Never once does Ennis deign to explore the actual impact and trauma of these things, or ask why he views these things as material for jokes.

That incuriosity is I think the real problem with The Boys. There is no actual coherent thought about why things are bad. Superheroes hurt people and are wrong because of their personal moral failings as selfish perverts, not because their whole job is to violently enforce the will of the state. It's like if someone agreed that all cops are bastards, but only because all cops just so happened to be "bad apples". The main characters literally work for the fucking CIA, and yes, I know the titular Boys are at best meant to be anti-heroes a la the Punisher. My issue here isn't that they're hypocrites who are frequently also horrible. It's that this premise for is absolute nonsense if you think for half a second. Superheroes do not function without the legitimacy granted to them by the state and it's monopoly on violence, so why would the CIA need these 5 randos with zero oversight working to take out the supers? Is the force Homelander and the others can bring to bear so great that even the apparatus of that state can't deal with them? If so, why does this group of assholes change that? Normally I'd be willing to give the story a lot more of a pass when it comes to questions like this, except I'm being told that this story has things to say about systemic problems involving the government and corporations! So I have to ask, where? Where is the commentary? What does it actually have to say about the state of the world circa 2006-2012? The only answer I can come up with is "not a whole lot". It's a story which dares to ask the tough questions like "what if the world was made of pudding" and then ignore answering those questions so it can instead recite Ellis' favorite slurs in alphabetical order while showing you a woman's tits.

On a lighter note, it's also just not very good. The plot (as mentioned) falls apart under any amount of scrutiny, pacing is bizarre in a bad way, the characters aren't compelling, themes remains stubbornly unexplored, and Ellis is allergic to doing anything interesting or creative with the premise he's decided to base a whole comic around. I genuinely do not know what people enjoy(ed) about this comic.

[lylahammar]

Do you have any tips for developing a healthier relationship to being fat? I'm fat and have a uhhhhh very negative relationship with the physical appearance of my body, despite treating my body well on a physical level. I read a ton of fat liberation stuff and fat positive studies and while logically I know that being fat isn't bad and has no bearing on morality, personality, etc, I still can't seem to apply this reasoning to myself. Most of the content on the internet is geared towards cis abled woman when I'm a trans disabled man, so that probably contributes to some extent, but idk. It also doesn't help that attraction-wise I'm definitely drawn to people who are the exact opposite of me physically (tall, lanky, angular, etc). I've been trying for years to even just be okay with my appearance and none of the common advice has worked. I pretty much only feel okay with myself when I forget that I have a physical body. Your fat positive content makes me really happy and you seem to have a positive relationship with your body, so I thought it was worth asking if you had any tips for me or anyone else who might need them.

Feel free to disregard this message if it makes you uncomfortable! You don't know me and I don't want to put my feelings on you. I appreciate any response you might give, but I also don't want to breach any boundaries. I hope you have a nice day!

-🧪

Hello!! I've been thinkin about this question since you sent it yesterday, it's a very good question but also a toughie 😅 The thing to keep in mind is that internalized fatphobia isn't a problem caused by personal problems, it's almost entirely a societal thing. I've been working on my body image issues for a long long time now, and honestly sometimes I do still feel down about my fatness. BUT it gets easier and easier as you get older, I promise you that! Especially if you keep working on it. So here are some tips I can think of:

Try to consume a lot of body neutral media! For me, body positive stuff can get a little grating and actually do the opposite of its intended purpose, because the constant focus on "everyone is beautiful!! Love your fat body!" can start to feel... I don't know, like it's drawing attention to it too much, and making it less normal. I like media in which fatness is portrayed as normal and doesn't get alienated so much, even in a positive way. A few good recommendations I can think of off the cuff are Dungeon Meshi (can't help plugging my fave manga heheh, Ryoko Kui is just so loving in her portrayal of different body types), Steven Universe, Hairspray, and Porco Rosso. Couplagoofs on Instagram, tiktok, twitch and youtube are really good influencers for this, watching their content has helped me a lot with my own body image! I've heard that Shrill is a good show for fat representation, but I've only seen this one scene (which is very good) so I can't speak definitively about it's quality! If anyone else has any good suggestions, please reply with them 🙏

Stay off of tiktok until you feel more comfortable with your own body. Tiktok is kind of a trap, because it'll put a lot of really great diverse body neutral stuff on your fyp to lure you in, but then it'll shut you down with the most hateful shit you've ever seen. And if you're not on the body neutral side of tiktok, you'll be in skinny town USA thirst trap hell forever lmfao it's just like not worth it

Surround yourself with accepting people. It's especially helpful to seek out other fat/fat positive friends (especially of the queer and neurodivergent variety). Fat people are everywhere, we're way more common than society and media would have you think!! It's good to have people around you to remind you of that 😁

If you have the money for it, try going on a special shopping trip to find some clothes that make you feel really good. Go alone, unless you have someone who you feel 100% comfortable with, because this trip should be about your needs and whatever makes you feel happy with your own body. You don't need anyone else's opinion for that! I know that this bit of advice is a little cliche, but it's just what has helped me personally.

This might be just a me thing, but practicing with drawing fat bodies has probably done more for my body image than anything else. It forces you to spend a lot of time looking at fatness and really growing to understand it and accept it. I've got a pinterest board for fat poses that I've been collecting (which I've just realized only has feminine people in it, I need to fix that >:/ ). Fat Photo Reference is another good site for practice, but it requires a password, so if anyone wants to get in then just DM me! Self portraits are also a great idea for this, especially if you find fatness beautiful in other people but not yourself, like you've said! Maybe give it a shot on a day when you're feeling up to it 💛

I hope this helps!! I'm not an expert on this, so my advice might be just as cliche and unhelpful as everything else out there 😅 but this is all just from personal experience. Fatness is normal and healthy and beautiful, so I hope you can come to accept your own soon!! 🙏

[docholligay]

Babygirl, please stop translating ¿Qué pasa? as What's up? yes it can mean that but all of these situations are completely wrong for that meaning just use 'what's going on?" like a normal person I beg. I feel like a weeb watching a fansub and I hate myself with a furious burning passion.

ANd OF COURSE the dog is going to get shot, you may as well head back and get your boys and leave. I think this is supposed to say something about how Pedro is, at heart, a good kind of guy. He could be abandoning Vicky, et al, but he's not doing that.

This goes into a thing about the ways that men are taught to express goodness and dedication, and how it is bullshit. Among any given man, including men I love deeply, including men I hold in high esteem, there is this idea of dedication to your family being a willingness to kill or die. You have heard me disparage this as "Rambo bullshit' and I stand by that*. It's the way that a man shows his dedication in great moments of courage, and that is the measure of a man. Not in the day to day work of taking care, of thinking of someone. It's easy to kill or die for someone, it's hard to live for them.

Near as I can tell, Pedro has done somewhere between Jack and Shit for his family. He's absent, he doesn't pay for anything, he lives in the middle of nowhere with his brother and is a loser who gets to playact being a great person and father in this moment. His dedication to the disabled son he never has to take care of. His willingness to stay to get his ex-wife out, who he abused and never gave any money for the kids.

Now, I don't know if the story here actually backs my play on this. Argentina has its own issues of machismo and I don't know how reflective the writer is on them. But this is my immediate thought, is this idea of what it means to be a 'good' guy, and I'll be interested to see how I think this plays out with the rest of the story.

*Everyone talks tough until the pistol gets pulled out, trust. As my Granddad told me, "Bringing out a gun never calmed nobody down."

[review-anon]

Thoughts on Hama?

This is one badarse ask.

As always we go under the cut.

Hama is interesting because due to how more grounded Tetro Pink is compared to other Danganronpa titles, while normally I would say Hama really does have command over demons, within this universe I am more incluned to say otherwise.

Since the only other exocirst like character we've had is Mikako and she's a complete polar opposite to Hama in terms of personality, its interesting to see what he's like, yes he believes that he can control demons and seal demons into other characters like with Chiba, but I do wonder if its a coping mechisium he has.

Like most Tetro Pink characters, there is more to Hama then what meets the eye as while he seems like a guy who boasts how much he punches the shit out of demons, he can also be quite insightful as he often tells others not what they want to hear but what they need to hear. A good example is when Hiroaki is in the middle of trying to find his drugs and is going crazy over it, Hama tries to talk some sense into Hiroaki by saying he's acting quite childish and just stands there while Hiroaki screams at him, since he knows that Hiroaki isn't in a right state of mind and just needs to let it out of his system. Then once he calms down, he tells Hiroaki that he doesn't need the drugs.

Given how Hama ended up in juvie at some point, I do wonder what his life was like, though my guess is given how much he loves his disabled sister, that some bullies were talking shit about her and he took offense to that. I also wonder if this is where the demon speak came from as a way for him to cope with whatever anger issues he had at the time. He also seems to know Latin which as I pointed out in chat, its a common trope most demons speak Latin so maybe learning that is a way for him to relate more to his talent.

He's part of the friendship trio with Chiba and Harada. For the former like I said he probably saw her like his little sister and needed to protect her. This does cause tension when Chiba reveals she doesn't like being talked to like that but eventually the two do make it up and have a much more healthy friendship...at least until she dies that is. And while he and Harada don't interact as much with each other, when the two lads were having a cry out, which also shows how mature he is since given the social stigma around men crying is, it takes great strength to cry, and he admits that he lied about binding Chiba with demonic powers, he just said that to give her confidence boost. Which makes me wonder if he knows demons aren't really but its a good way for him to control what anger issues he has?

And I feel so, so bad that his entire friendship group is gone, as both Chiba and Harada are dead and I don't think he's gonna be well later on. Chapter 3 will be a lot of healing for him but on the plus side, since usually when this happens one lives, Hama is very likely a survivor at this point.

Let's hope this is the case

[hollownoire]

Made an account on that new art website, Cara, and posted my most recent drawing there. To my surprise I had already gotten a handful of people seeing and liking my stuff, and it really really cheered me up cause things have been rough recently. I guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, or desperation is making me naive or gullible, but someone commented on the post asking about commissions. I wasn't about to be scammed, or anything, but I also wasn't about to turn down the money if the opportunity came. Replied. Waited. Waited. Got worried. Did I say something wrong? Is my art not good enough? Should I have made a price sheet? Minutes turn into hours, I tell my friends about my anxieties over messing up getting one of my first actual commissions from a stranger. Five hours later I check the comment again, and the person was banned. I feel like a fucking idiot. Like...of course. Whatever. Meanwhile my doctor just cancelled my appointment the day of for the...I think, 7th, 8th time, while I have pressing pressing pressing health issues that need to be checked out and seen. You know, before they get worse, develop into something worse, and I rot away at this fucking desk doing nothing. But, no, these institutions can just do whatever they want. Ms. "I'm a doctor" can just show up late every day, run late every day, and cancel on a disabled person freely with no reproductions whatsoever. Would be cool if I got a win, sometime, it doesn't even need to be free. I know how to work myself to dust! Just any proof of my labor or effort being like substantial at all would be great. That I'm not just obliterating myself to no end, to no benefit, except to make myself MORE STRESSED. Whatever! It's fine. I'm fine! Back to whatever the fuck I do in my gaps between posts, maybe it'll be worth something, who knows! Probably not! In other news, my prices are probably going to be halved soon. Because I can't afford to give a shit anymore. I'm going to pin this post and it can serve as my price list until I can give a fuck enough to sit down and work through making the goddamn sheet. Headshots: $40 Waist-up/"Half-Body": $65 Fullbody: $100 Ref sheets: $125 (ESTIMATE, IT VARIES ON COMPLEXITY) Extra characters are $30/$50/$100 respectively depending on if you get a headshot, waist-up, or fullbody. My prices include full rendering, shading, lighting, FX/"Magic" and backgrounds. A particularly involved background might be more, but you'd have to really want me to do something crazy to warrant an additional charge there. I will do lewd art. I can make maps, emotes, flags, symbols, runes, banners, avatars, and assets for streaming and youtube as well. I know how to animate, to a degree, and I can make PNGTUBERs. I'm also figuring out how to make music. DM me here, or email me at hollownoire@gmail.com if you want a commission. I also have a ko-fi, if you want to donate. I plan on adding shit there soon, but I'm currently treading water, so don't expect anything any time soon. At least unless I get lucky. https://ko-fi.com/hollownoire I am disabled, so be patient, please. Turn around times aren't normally very long but shit happens and I'll tell you as much.

[thessalian]

Thess vs the Pollen Count

Things I currently really hate:

Summer

Climate change

Fibromyalgia

The effects of the above on my immune system

Today is a particularly bad allergy day, and according to the pollen count on the weather predictions for the week, it's going to stay that way. The snuffling I can just about deal with, but the itchy and watery eye thing is really cramping my style on damn near anything I wanted to do today. And apparently all of the above bits and pieces are contributing to my allergies being so fucking bad at the moment.

See, after I checked things out and extrapolated that the pollen count is basically going to be a bitch to me all summer, I started Googling. First thing I checked was what antihistamines are best for the itchy and watery eye thing. I'll have to use what I've still got for the moment, but when I'm doing the big shop come payday, I'm probably going to have to shell out for the expensive shit. Yaaaaay comparison shopping? A lot of pharmacies do deals on antihistamines this time of year, so that's something, but finding the best deal is kind of on me. Great.

After that, I decided to check on exactly why my allergies are getting so much worse, starting with, "can allergies worsen with age?" Answer was a resounding yes, partly because your immune system changes as you get older, with a dash of "allergies can worsen because climate change".

Sooooooo ... they more or less figured out that fibromyalgia is at least autoimmune-adjacent, since some studies a few years back where they injected antibodies from fibro sufferers into mice and discovered that those mice had increased sensitivity to heat, cold, and pressure, as well as reduced movement grip strength. Those mice went back to normal when those antibodies cleared their system, so ... yeah, the antibodies those of us with fibro are producing are just ... nope. This gives hope for treatment at some point, possibly (and I will talk bout that a bit later), but in the meantime, it's entirely likely that whatever wrong antibodies I'm producing are why my allergies have been so much worse the past few years.

Of course, the fact that the pollen count has been getting more and more insane the last few years is also likely down to climate change, and obviously there are way worse effects of climate change on the planet as a whole, but I feel well within my rights to get all pissed off about how it is affecting me right now, even if it is an objectively lesser issue. I mean, I also react way worse to heat and cold than I used to, so either way, with the weather being the way it is, I'm just shit out of luck all the way around.

And yes, there is hope that the study proving that fibromyalgia is autoimmune-related might provide hope for a treatment for those of us with fibromyalgia, so we don't have to deal with this. But ... I know the pharmaceutical industry. I've seen what it does and how it operates, from the point of view of various nations, and from multiple sides of the equation (hospitals, government health departments, patients both here and abroad), and I have a bad feeling that it'll never materialise. And there are a few reasons for this, and they're all ugly as hell.

First, there's the fact that while fibromyalgia is debilitating for those of us who have it, it's an invisible disability. We all know how invisible disabilities are treated by most people. Even those with the best of intentions can kind of fumble with understanding the condition. One of my friends asked me at one point why I needed a cane; what it did for me. I guess I get curiosity, but ... it can still feel like an accusation. Like I have to be this disabled to need a cane for any distances outside my own home, and I don't look or act this disabled so... Seriously, I think part of the worst issues with a chronic pain condition is that no one takes you seriously because you don't look in pain, and not seeing the sheer effort it takes to push past that pain because we can't spend our lives curled up in a ball screaming. Anyway, far too many people don't really get why it's that important when it's something they can't see.

Then... *sigh* Then there's the fact that it mostly affects women. Apparently about 1 person in 40 has it, and 80% are women. I honestly want to know where that stands with trans people - like, do more trans men have fibro than trans women, or the other way around? A study of that would be a good idea just to see whether hormones play a part. I also want to know how many men just aren't admitting it because "it's unmanly to whine about pain" or some shit. And how many aren't included in the study because they've been self-medicating with drugs or alcohol without a diagnosis, because apparently my grandmother had it and I figure a lot of her alcoholism was self-medicating back when she didn't even have a name for the condition and just ... hurt all the time. But ... see, all of this is the point. Like, we've done the study on the antibodies, but we haven't done further studies to get a better look at the rest of it. It's just been more or less pigeonholed as "mostly women get this". Medical research on AFAB people is ... lacking. So is treatment for most anything that causes them pain. We have a hard enough time getting any kind of diagnosis in the first place, because our pain is diminished in the eyes of the medical community. So we're told it's not as bad as we're making it out and we should just lose weight or get therapy for anxiety or whatever.

And finally, there's the whole deal where the pharmaceutical industry is way more invested in palliation than cure. Palliative treatment, you're on it for the rest of your life, probably on regularly increasing dosages, but a cure would mean not needing as much palliation. Fewer analgaesics sold, less money in the pockets of Big Pharma. And if not enough people have a condition, even the single regular palliative that would alleviate all symptoms isn't profitable enough for Big Pharma to bring to market. Anyone who's seen Leverage knows - and they toned the shit the Leverage crew were dealing with down from what exists in reality. It's honestly in Big Pharma's interests to have me on a variety of analgaesics, a pill that's technically an antidepressant but is used in the treatment of neuropathic pain (which does fuck all for my fibro because it's not a neuropathic condition like people thought it was, but does wonders for my migraines), and antihistamines all summer, instead of a single pill that actually makes me feel better. They don't want us to feel better; they want money. Even in this country, where we aren't paying half as much for prescriptions (though the price keeps going up by scary increments every year).

So ... yeah. This is currently a very, very bad season for me. I have reminders everywhere of how different my life is now. Effectively having Dragon Age as a franchise taken away from me because EA Bioware have chosen "the ARPG trend" over accessibility, when that franchise has been so important to me for so long, is more depressing than I can even put into words right now. The weather and the pollen is just making me even more miserable than I am at my usual baseline of "everything hurts". I am tired of hurting all the time. I am tired of being tired all the time. I am tired of the limitations under which I exist. And if there ever is a cure, or a truly functional treatment, it probably won't be in my lifetime and it'll be fought against tooth and nail because some rich assholes would rather have as much of my money as possible with very little to show for it instead of having my fucking life back. I'm trying to be strong and solid, because some of my friends aren't doing well either and I want to be there for them, but I'm so much running out of spoons.

Right. I'mma find something to cheer myself up, somehow. I was going to get through the finale of the Horizon Forbidden West base game, maybe kick off Burning Shores, but I figure that's a bad idea when my eyes are itching and watering the way they are right now. And I can't just shut the windows because we're getting into the mid-20s temperature-wise and it'll get too damn hot in here. Blegh. Fuck summer right in the ear.

[disniq]

Season 1, Episode 2, “Hawk and Dove”.

Joy.

We are introduced to Hawk, AKA Hank Hall, who is already captured and being tortured! Listen, I don’t often side with torturers, but he probably deserved it.

Dove, AKA Dawn Granger, saves his ass and then we get a gratuitous bathroom shot because Alan Ritchson is hot, and also to show that the superhero life fucks you up, kids.

I’ll be honest, I don’t really understand what their plan is here? They’re taking out arms dealers and stealing the money for themselves until they have enough to “retire”. Dude, you’re both in your 30s, just get a normal fucking job that isn’t destroying your body and mind, maybe?

(This is a recurring theme with these two. They talk about quitting, one of them goes back on it, they fight, they make up, they talk about quitting… It’s a whole thing.)

Dawn is so pretty, fuck me.

She rescued him and plays nurse afterwards? Dawn, honey, he does not deserve you. He can't even fuck.

Flashback time, and Dickie-boy is hanging out with the Bad Kids against Batman’s orders. (I say “Kids”. All of these people are in their twenties at least. And, also. This is four years ago, but in s2 they say the og Deathstroke stuff is four years ago. Don't think to hard about the Titans timeline, good lord.)

DO LIKE; the fight choreography here! Dick is all flippy acrobat but Hawk and Dove are like pro fucking wrestling lol.

DO NOT LIKE; this weird fucking love triangle, and I use the term “love” extremely loosely. Poly supremacy man, you all have bird names and a shit ton of fucking issues, you could all be each others problems instead of inflicting yourselves on others <3

(oh my god, I’ve only just hit the titlecard. This episode is *so* long)

(Or maybe it's just that I find it incredibly boring.)

I'm sure that's not relevent

Dick is taking Rachel to Hank and Dawn, so he calls Alfred for some money to… pay them to keep her?

(on a related note, there is such a frustrating interesting dissonance between what we are told and what we are shown in this show. We are told Dick has a rep for being great with kids, but he doesn’t really know what Rachel should be eating or watching at her age, and he tries to get rid of her the second he can. Rachel says she’s not a kid, and then the very next scene is her sprawled out on the bed surrounded by snacks. Rachel says she can tell when people are lying, but her "Mom" was lying to her her whole life?)

I’m trying really hard not to get too bitter too quickly here, but god the difference between how Dick treats an upset Rachel to how he later treats an upset Jason makes my heart hurt :(((

Oh, The Family are fucking creepy okay. It’s the heteronormativity.

Dick is a terrible fucking liar, omg.

Rachel: You’re gonna leave me too, aren’t you? Dick: Dick: Dick: Dick: No.

Dick introduces Rachel to Dawn, Rachel gets a little sneak peak of their former sex life as a treat. Awkward.

Ahaaaa

“I’m outta the life,” Dick says, like he didn’t put the Robin suit back on like. A day ago. (another tell vs show)

I do love when people say Dick’s name like the insult.

(Unfortunately, it’s Hank being an insecure macho fuck over Dawn “Sure, I cheated on you with him before, but it’s not like I’d do it again how dare you not believe me” Granger. They’re so unhealthy, fuck. And the manufactured melodrama is so bleugh.)

The Family ambush and torture Amy, and she somehow tells them where Dick is despite him literally never telling her. Because plot.

Astute readers may have noticed I'm not a big fan of Hank but idk folks, I just think maybe it’s a little tasteless to make a “pants off” joke (TWICE) about a character that has long term trauma from repeated childhood sexual assault :/

Okay, fuck, Dick is already making me work for that body count list.

OKAY.

He castrates the torture guy, stabs another guy in the eye with a birdarang and drops a guy from the ceiling. I’m pretty sure they’d all live, if be permanently disabled. BUT. The last guy, he throat punches and then hits in the head so hard with his own gun that there’s a huge fucking blood splatter on the window, so I am counting that as a half-kill.

I’m OuT oF tHe LiFe - Dick Grayson (definitely not wearing the Robin suit again. Nope.)

Ah, more meledorama.

Rachel finds the money and Dick’s custody arrangement letter. She is not happy about it. She shows Hank, who isn’t ever happy about anything.

And then The Family show up to kidnap Rachel, so problem solved I guess?

[More Titans Rewatch here :D]

[eldritchmochi]

Word prompt for the letters! SWORD TIME

mina pls that is so many letters lmao

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

okay, if it is not obvious, i have thought SO MUCH about disability in exandria, so heres a general worldbuilding headcannon vs character based hc but it's shown that disability isn't overly impactful in exandria. basically everything we've seen ranging from pcs like shakaste to big npcs like dancer and also smaller one off pcs like the moorbounder dealer in the city of beasts, whatever the name is, they're fully functional within society despite major physical disabilities and theres functionally not a whole lot of ableism at a surface level when it comes to worldbuilding (thanks matt).

however..... its not hard (for me) to extrapolate how the dynasty in particular would have a not great view on disability (thank u cherry for putting it into words as i was charlie day-ing over coping skills early on). it's not something that i talk about explicitly in coping skills (and may not since it would be really info dumpy and not vibe with the way i write or characterize the wizards lmao) but it's something ive spent a great deal of time thinking thru for the dang fic and my in-head notes are basically a) in a modern setting like coping skills, the healthcare situation moves at a glacial pace partly because elves live forever so what is a several year wait for a non emergent specialist issue and b) major disabilities, things that impact daily living to a significant degree that cannot be "fixed" with magic, are at best really only tolerated until anamnesis or consecution so the body can be reset into a more perfect form

i could wax poetic about the nitty gritty as it relates to coping skills specifically, but that is like, the base premise of 90% of the fic lmao

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

okay so, heres the thing: with the exception of a few squicks, if something is well written with some fukken *heart* i will eat up just about anything. theres some tropes i don't really get myself and haven't found anything with it that's interested me, like hanahaki, but i have fav fics involving things i notoriously avoid, like kid fic and hs aus. like legitimately, my absolute fav fic is a non explicit hs au, which considering i basically dont read non explicit fics OR hs aus is fucking wild

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

lets see, i did one here for an ashrym fic, and one here for general shadowgast so lets go with a single character, and a delightfully weird song for her

obviously imogen, again, because its funny. do not ask me why spotify recommended this german edm country album to me a bit ago but i listened to the whole thing and it fucking slapped, and this song immediately went on my hells playlist

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

I AM ONLY DOING ONE BECAUSE I DONT TRUST YOU MINA (ilu but also damn many letters lmao)

but callowmoore is just chefs kiss. i don't see anything necessarily romantic between them but i love the idea of the two of them bonding over being absolute gremlins. ashton definitely needs a charismatic wingman and fearne definitely needs someone who has (some level of) smarts re Doing Crimes, so the two of them playing off each other is just delightful and i love how soft they are with each other in cannon and in turn all the fanart (especially the forehead kiss???? im still not normal about that)

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

hmmmmmmmmmmm okay i guess maybe reylo? the rots kiss was absolute garbage rey deserves better BUT i am in theory into her domming the shit out of him but reylo shippers as a whole soured me on the ship and now i just hhhh no thank you, even from authors i trust to write it in a way i'd enjoy :C

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

T answered here! (basically no lmao)

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

homestuck :I like part of it was definitely the Fandom Cycle of falling out if interest with something, especially once there stopped being new cannon i could access but a bigger part of it was seeing all my fav artists and writers in the fandoms, particularly the ones 30+, PARTICULARLY Black artist, being absolutely shat on by kids for the crime of... being adults in fandom spaces basically, or otherwise creating fanworks that featured non-white, non-thin depictions of the characters. i live vicariously thru @/roundandtalented when they spam share hs art because i still love those characters but yeesh ye olde tumblr hs fandom got VERY toxic

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

answered once here with ashton and here with astarion so i guess i gotta keep the train going with "a" name characters

hmmmmmmmmmm

okay lets say abby from ncis (i have watched Many crime procedurals lmao). i imagine she and i would be GREAT fashion buddies, especially when i'm bubblegum pop kawaii to her scary goth. we could swap tips on breaking in big stompy boots and all the best places for cute clothes, and i think we're fairly close in size too so could even SWAP gasp The Dream

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

god i do not know if fandom as a whole has picked up on any of the various things i've built in my fics but tbh i think its absolutely hilarious how i inevitably write a porn/camming au for like every fandom i write multiple fics for. it happens, every single time. EVERY TIME. in fact, mine and cherry's sg camming au started with me lampshading this trend i have, laughing about how FINALLY here was a fandom where i couldn't write camming and make it work, except whoops i thought too hard on it and made it work. this occurred over the course of like..... a single evening. i had the basic outline sketched out within twenty minutes of me being like "theres no way i could write camming into critical role, NO WAY" i am not even exaggerating

so i guess maybe my hilarious contribution to critical role is the contemporary magical setting proof-of-concept???? cherry did say there werent really that many at the time i asked because i lov me some modern aus

there are maybe some letters left idk at this point lmao but here is the meme for those of u who made it thru all that