#who ended up dying and coming back due to the infection

[small-spark-of-light]

heres some thoughts on Infectat from evadare!! i dont think he can talk, so he uses sign language :0

[yandere-wishes]

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡Acolyte⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

𐙚Yandere! Qimir/The Master x Reader

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Plot: Your loneliness is suffocating, engulfing. Qimir is the only one who seems to subdue the pain. But every forbidden fruit has its price.

⁀➷Warnings: Yandere behavior, gore, angst (at the end), author having an anxiety attack over this fic  

🪐Note: Why is the longest thing I've ever written for a fandom that barely exists? Anyway, here's the long-awaited Qimir piece!

⁺₊𝄞₊⁺ : Disturbia - Rihanna, Dark Vacay & Motion Picture Soundtrack - CAS

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆🍓⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Your master's anger is tangible. You harbour it stubbornly on your tongue. Relishing in the frustration. You aren't sure how many times you've cut out your soul to place at a master's feet. Gnawing on perfect lips to keep quiet during another scolding. Your new master's disappointment reverberates through the room. Thick and oozing like an infected wound.

You messed up again.

"We do not injure other padawans during training. We do not lash out and attack, especially when your training partner has fallen. How have you trained for so long without comprehending these basics?"

The rage that boils inside you is not Jedi in nature. It's something else, a bizarre second, something ancient, ghoulish. An all-consuming fire that burns inside your veins. It shouldn't feel so welcoming, so familiar.

You roll your eyes.

"With all due respect master. How is one to win, if they do not strick when given the opportunity? That too should be a basic notion, no?"

You see the anger snake across your master's face. A defeated, disgruntled, glance that you've become a bit too acquainted with. This is the look that all your previous masters give you. And yet none have yet to master its eeriness quite as well as your first master. Master Sol.

Your master sighs, a piercing noise, deflating every ounce of his willpower. You are exhausting to be around, his annoyance is becoming discernible. "Master Sol is coming by the temple to check your...progress. He's requested a few items to take back with him. Please go fetch them from the apothecary."

Progress is a gentle word and Jedi love using gentle words. It's easier to say than the full truth. Sugar-coated things always taste better.

But the sugar refuses to stick to you.

It burns away in your bitterness.

Coruscant is a distant memory, it was never your home to begin with. But the high bustling volume is something that is hard to forget. Here things are quiet, you slip through the bazaar undetected. Small basket clutched tightly. You wonder what's dragging your former master halfway across the galaxy. You wonder if it's really just to see you.

You gaze blankly at the holographic list. A few rare herbs and some medical roots. This planet grows them in abundance, and the local apothecary carries more than its fair share.

The apothecary is an old, disheveled thing. The older Jedi say that its presence is as old as the temple itself. Odd how some things have a will of iron. You gently rap at the worn metal door, waiting for an invitation to enter. The hinges cry as the door opens ever so slightly. You squeeze in, surveying the cluttered den. Careful to avoid the half-empty bottles and neon puddles scattered across the floor.

"Excuse me" your voice holds an urgent annoyance. Where is the pharmacist? What kind of store owner abandons their shop in the midday? You run your fingers across the strange bottles, letting your nails pick at the murky glass. The colors flash, begging to be freed, strange space pinks, and summer oranges all trapped inside square prisons. Baby poisons dying to taste the world, burning it if they must, but experiencing it nonetheless, tasting their own form of freedom. Funny, they almost remind you of yourself.

Trapped and fatal.

"Hello?", the voice behind you is languid, dozy. Mirroring a late afternoon nap. When the man next speaks you notice a lyrical lint "What brings you here little lady?". You turn to see it, the voice, or rather the man harboring the voice. He's loosely robed and shaggy in the way that only the most spirited vagabonds are. He smiles tenderly upon seeing your face, strange red fruit caught between his teeth. "I um...I" you click your tongue anxiously against the roof of your mouth. Feeling around for those pesky words, in the end, you just shove the hologram holder forward, hoping he'll understand.

"Oh, I see, out here doing some chores?" You nod, mind preoccupied with the otherwordly fruit. "what's that?" you ask, schoolgirl curiosity lacing your voice. "What, this?" he asks holding the freckled thing between his fingers, it's only in the mild light that you notice the shimmering gold scattered across its red skin. The stranger laughs, walking closer, he places the hologram base on the black table, clicking it on as he studies the list. "They're called strawberries. They're from the forest planets, not many grow here in the mid-rims." He's nimble as he packs the herbs and roots, fumbling with the straw ties. "care for a bite" he asks, handing you the bitten fruit.

Hesitantly you bite.

Letting the sweetness erupt on your tongue.

"Thank you" you mumble trying not to moan at the foreign taste. The stranger laughs, it's a cheery noise like birds chirping in first bloom tress. "you're a Jedi, aren't you?" he asks stepping around the table, eyebrows furrowed, caught in a dream he doesn't seem to understand. You choke on the rogue static as he steps closer, eyes half-lidded dreaming of nothing. "Here..."

"Wha-" your voice catches in your throat, it's getting harder to breathe.

"Your supplies" He hands you the brown paper bag, motion a little too phlegmatic to be right.

"Oh, right...thanks" You anxiously shove the bag into your basket and scurry out of the shop. Holding your breath.

"Come back soon." the voice chirps behind you.

Your old master arrives by spaceship, a newer, albeit worn model. The landing pad ejects to reveal a small escort.

Master,

Knight,

Padwan,

Apostate,

You stand still watching as they descend. Bits of envy bubble in your throat watching your former master and his band of little heroes. You wish you had their belonging. Forgoing the loneliness to find kinsmanship with your coterie. You swallow down the bitter thoughts as they finally approach you.

Master Sol's smile reaches his eyes. Gentle and wise. The true epidemy of a Jedi in every sense of the word. Funny how he now has two failures under his belt. None of which are capable of scratching his shining repute.

His hands are on your shoulders, bright smile. "My padawan, it's been too long." You try to bow, awkwardly and stiffly. "Mater Sol, I'm grateful you've come to asses my progress". If he hears your doubt he doesn't show it. Instead, he reintroduces you to Yord, Jacki, Osha.

You try to be polite. Gulp down the awkwardness

You imagine the taste of strawberries on your tongue.

Remember their stiff sweetness and prickly tasteless freckles.

You smile. Easier this time.

They'll stay here for some time. Hunting assassins and documenting progress in their free time. Jacki seems more invested in your training than you are, trying to teach you everything she knows. At least she doesn't mind the rough play, the violent strikes, and sloppy prideful defenses. She speaks in pointers and parries. She's the one to drag you along these assassin hunts. Welcoming you...or at least trying to.

But there is something else at play. Darker, broader, Sol and Jecki welcome you into the fray. Yet you still feel your old master's hesitance, he's still wary of you. Worried about your anger, your defiance.

The distance grows, some icy void.

Sol used to tell you fairytales. This was back when you'd been young and bright-eyed. Freshly welcomed into the order and still overflowing with artless hope for a colorful future.

But even back then, he had known there was something wrong with you.

Looking back it was evident.

Every story started and ended the same. Little princess against the big bad world. Holding out until her prince came along. Only problem was the morals never registered right in your little messed-up brain.

Why didn't the princess fall for the dragon, the wolf, the tyrant king with a crown of bones? Why didn't she swoon and sigh over someone rousing, compelling? A paradox wrapped in black ember? Why settle for a sun-painted prince, with no complexities, no mysteries to unravel?

You would have married the dragon, or the wolf, or the tyrant king with a crown of bones.

Even back then, it was evident something was wrong.

The temple's roof isn't restricted per se.

It's rather abandoned as opposed to forbidden.

Maybe that's why you find solace here. The abandonment feels familiar, similar. The chipped cement kisses the soles of your feet, you imagine it's something like walking upon the rough terrain of a star.

You breathe in the night air deeply.

Expecting the fragile scents of moonshine and star glitter.

Instead, you choke on heavy mist and blood-drenched air.

The thing standing in front of you isn't human. It can't be human. It's created from the blackness, ebony in all the ways a living thing shouldn't be. For a second you think you're staring at a black hole. No doubt this creature crawled out of one.

What sheer willpower one must need to drag themselves out of endless nothingness?

"Little Jedi should not brave the night alone."

It speaks

"There are far too many monsters roaming in the dark"

Its face never moves, statue in all the ways the figures towering over the entrance aren't. This statue is something else, a lost page to some forgotten epic. Carved from gems born in darkness. Evil and rotten.

"What are you?" your voice susurrate, quivering in this surreal scene. The air is thicker now, overflowing with raw static.

Your fingers itch for your saber. Only when the cold metal kisses your palm do you regain some semblance of reality.

The hiss, the green light.

The figure chuckles.

Its voice bouncing from every direction. Everywhere all at once. When it speaks the air cackles, raining as if it were a frightened child.

"I am something akin to you, another child of the force" His voice comes out distorted, uneven in tone. "I am what's birthed when one learns of the true strength of the force."

Your body moves on its own, feet kicking the ground sprinting faster and faster before the final leap. You aim for the helmet, for the morbid toothy grin permanently etched within steel. In a flash the word stills, floating around you like fluorescent bubbles, the rain tumbles around you, curving and diving for the wet ground. It dares not land on something within his grasp.

You feel the slithering across your body. They start from the ground, summed from the unknown depths. Clinging firmly to your ankles before inching up your knees, your hips, your neck.

long, slipper tendrils curling around your body. The figure watches, bare arm outstretched. You should probably be focused on how the unseen things are inching closer to your mouth. Not on the toned muscles and limber fingers of the monster. Not on how, for a fraction of a heartbeat, his smile appears genuine, caring, aimed straight at you.

Only You

They finally reach your lips, prying your teeth ajar and flooding your mouth. Sinking deeper and deeper into your soul, your mind, you.

The smile grows.

In a blink you're suspended in the space between worlds, dark damning thing cradling your body.

"The dark side once belonged to the Jedi, yet they chose to discard it. Deeming it malignant, ungovernable."

Your weightlessness unnerves you. You're malleable in this void.

"Those few who embraced its calling were dubbed Sith." He says the word with such fervent pride. Devoted to it's weight and all it carries. You try to roll the word off your own tongue only for it to burn the roof of your mouth.

The stranger stalks closer, lethal and lithe.

The void vibrates, the darkness bends to his will.

He reaches down to cup your face. His fingers feel warm, welcoming. You nuzzle into his palm, fighting the urge to kiss each finger and suck on the dark force they emit. "You..." he starts, his voice shakes you to the core. Its horror amplifies with the proximity. You wonder if it'll cut through steel, armor, flesh.

your flesh.

"You aren't like the other temple dwellers. You have potential."

His thumb presses your lower lip, demanding entrancing. You comply, needing to feel something solid.

Something you've been denied your whole life.

"They keep you locked away. Trading you between craven masters. Seeing who can tame you first."

He nicks his thumb on your teeth,

Pressing bone into dentin.

His essence drips into you.

He tastes of power.

Of dark, dreadful things you can not name.

"They do not know how to train you. How to use your power..."

The world crumbles, ebony midnights giving way to reality. You feel yourself fall, plunging through the air like a comet bent on destruction.

"They only break you further"

Your knees collide with the harsh ground. Skin splintering in the aftermath giving way to bruises and bloodmarks.

The ground feels too solid beneath you.

A poly, a ruse.

You all but expect to melt through it. Slipping and falling into the vacuum, into him, once more.

He hovers above. Absolute in his strength. You're beginning to believe that blackholes birth divinity. Eyes shimmering with fanatic fidelity, staring up at the holy creature commanding the storm.

"Teach me..."

You've never begged for anything so terribly in your life.

But you need this.

this power

this control.

him.

Sol never told just how the princess met the villain.

He never said it wasn't love at first fright.

Sol insists that the local apothecary knows the truth behind the Jedi-killer. Definite that the unseemly man can tell you something important. He sends Osha inside to play Mea. To get the man to talk.

You crowd around the communicator urging back giggles. Yord's chin is placed upon your shoulder and Jecki's cheek rests against yours. Their touches come so early. And yet they are utterly alien.

"He will be so pleased." No sooner have the words chime from the corroded speakers that Sol is ushering you all towards the small metal hut.

Yord entwines his fingers with you as he runs.

Jacki wraps around your arm.

You feel at times they are trying to tame you.

Befriend the feral puppy they found in the backyard.

The apothecary's face is utterly stunned. He's stammering over his words fear glistening in his eyes as he stares at Sol. "Please, please don't wipe my memories. Or whatever it is you Jedi do." A rosy blush colors your cheeks, at his terror. It's terribly amusing seeing someone so carless, anxiously list off everything he knows. You almost feel bad for the poor scared man.

There isn't anything important here. But Sol decides that you will all return at midnight. The Jedi-killer will be back. Apparently, Qimir -that's his name, that the strawberry-eating, disheveled pharmacist's name- is holding something of value for her.

There's a tug on your wrist as you go to follow the others. Gentle and firm as he pulls you to his chest. "Come by tonight. I'll have some strawberries waiting for you." why does he feel too genuine? When you turn to look at him, he's painted in his usual sweet carefree smile that tugs at your heart.

He looks so innocent...

Starlight really brings out his eyes. He's laughing with a nervous smile,

School-boy crush on full display. You're licking strawberry juice from your hands as you listen to him talk. Backs pressed against the rusty wall and bodies half sprawled in the dirt. He's telling you about the first time the Hutts made him retrieve a plushie for their son from another solar system.

Qimir's voice feels like rose peddles melting into your skin. Sweet, jejeune, free. You offer him a berry from your pile. Watching tentatively as he submerges the red fruit into his mouth. Missing your fingers by an inch. He's laughing after the fact, head thrown back as if he's about to engulf the stars. You decide to laugh too.  

"Are you really that lonely," he says in a voice that's almost not his own. You're not expecting the invasive question, although you guess he means well. The words still cut deep. Piercing through the laughter, stunning you for a breath too long. "No...I'm a Jedi, we do not-"

"Form personal connection. I know...But you just look so lonely." He shuffles closer, the dirt particles almost look celestial in this light. Your fingers pitch a civil war. Pinching and clawing at each other. "No, yes. I don't really get along with the others." He rolls his eyes, bored and amused in the same breath. "Yeah, no wonder your money." He's picking at another strawberry, letting the crunch fill up the silence. You're beginning to think he just likes having something to chew on. Gulping down the anxiety with something toothsome.

He's a little closer now, fingers gingerly tucking back your hair. His fingerprints reverberate across the shell of your ear. Lips gliding against yours. You swallow as his lips fall across yours, pushing sweet stars past parted lips. He tastes of odd things, whimsy things. Everything you'll never come to understand. Xeno fruits and asteroid fields. His fingers glide up your arms, leaving moondust in their wake. He slowly parts, holding you softly with his soulful dark eyes

"You taste so sweet"

Strawberry, Starberry, You kiss him a little too deeply.

Maybe your new master is right.

Maybe there are other ways of being a Jedi.

The movie playing is doused in shades of rose and lilac. Gentle in all the ways. Everyway. The twi'lek girl is in love with the zabrak boy and their families do not approve. You think you remember Sol telling you a similar tale.  

The makeshift auditorium is cozy. Brown couch housing the three of you and your armada of blankets and popcorn buckets. Jacki's head is in your lap, you're playing with the end of her braid imagining the hair to be the lace of a Love-sick girl's ballgown. Yord's arm traverses the length of your arm, absentminded as he studies the motion picture, poking holes in the lose rose-tainted plot. Your head rests against his broad shoulder taking in his new cologne.

Maybe you really did miss them.

Jacki reaches for the popcorn, offering you some before shoving a handful into her mouth. You think the little symmetry-less kernels would taste better with a strawberry glaze. Qimir flashes across your mind, smiling sweetly as he tilts his head.

You think you're a little too similar to the star on screen.

Pinning after forbidden love,

Forbidden power.

Master Sol is growing acutely aware of your drastic improvements. He's noticed the betterment in your offense, your defense. To the way, you wield your saber, your techniques, and yourself. There is esteem in the way he smiles. In the words of praise, you've longed to hear. But you notice the lingering glances, the undertone of skepticism and worry when he asks about practice. He doesn't need to know of the black-glad creature that trains you in the unholy hours.

He doesn't need to know how beautifully your new master sculpts your rage into lessons. Teaching you how to wrangle the force and control it. How to use it to make the world bow.

These things will remain secret. For you fear Sol and the others will strip them of you. Strip them of the new master you've come to worship.

"Do you think people glow when they fall in love?" Jacki's voice is filled with sleep. Eyes closed as she murmurs remnants of movie memory. "No, I don't believe they do" you answer. "too...bad" There was a yawn there darling and vigorous like the rests of her. She looks so sweet like this, infantile in all the ways she can't be. Little girl dreaming of something impossible. You wonder if Sol's told her the fairytales too. You kiss the crown of her head, your baby sister you think. And big brother Yord, snoring with his head thrown back.

Maybe you should test her theory. rising softly from the couch you make your way to the door. Throwing one final glance at your sleeping siblings. Before going to find Qimir.

His lips ghost over yours, spilling star-clad secrets between each kiss. The apothecary has never been so dark, so secret, so secluded. Qimir's lips glided across your neck biting the flesh and licking the little diamond droplets of blood. Your nails rack across his spine, the wool of his throw-over itching the backs of your hands. "So precious" he mumbles, voice ridden with want, need. it's criminal how desperately he needs to feel you. You writhe under him, "Qimir, kiss." you whine. His lips feel like a lifeline, something keeping you sain. He pushes fireflies and lava pearls inside you, carving you open and enjoying you

He always enjoys you.

It's foggy outside when his tongue clashes against yours. A thick unsettling mist banging against the darkened window. "You're custom-made for me" Qimir mumbles against your lips. "Custome tailored" you boldly correct. "ummm, sure" his hands pinch at your hips, clawing mindlessly and leaving tails to your thighs. But the sensations are growing distant, you hear the heavy hum of saber activation. You psyche cracks

The world is dark,

He alone is absolute.

Your master's mask flashes dangerously across your mind. "Master Sol would be disappointed". You've heard that line a million times. Still, the words cut a little too deep coming from your demiurger. "Gullible" you don't understand, what have you done to earn his rage? He's gone, leaving you in the emptiness, you taste the charcoal from the landscape under your tongue.

Still, you long to call after him.

"Master"

The darkness subsides with the feeling of softness across your muscles. A breeze stirs you from the clutches of slumber. "Good morning" Qimir chirps, soft smile greeting you as you open your eyes. "Qimir, when did I?" he laughs, it's such a pretty sound this early in the morning. Sweet like caramel tea. He kisses your forehead. His quietude is commendable, he tries to calm you with feather-light kisses. You laugh pushing the covers away and still. Frozen.

What's this

The nightgown is lacy and short. It drapes expensively against your skin. Marring it with its tenderness. "Qimir, what's this!" he chuckles, "I couldn't let you sleep in those robes, they looked uncomfortable." You want to argue, to scream, and be angry. But the rage boils down slowly as you notice something dangling around your wrist. A bangle, and an anklet you notice later, black and gold entwined in patterns mirroring lighting stricks. "They're from Korriban, I had some relatives there." oh, why does that planet sound so familiar? "Thanks, but ask me next time before you go playing dress-up doll with my sleeping body" He pouts and can't help but trail a string of mouthy kisses across his neck. Qimir shuffles pulling you onto his lap. Pushing his nose under your chin. His eyes are honey-deo, adoring and scheming. "But you're mine." The possessive ness that flesh across his face is alarming. So is how tightly he grips your waist. It's only in this state of half-undressed that you begin to notice the taut muscles of his arms.

During your most recent lesson, your master gifts you a ripe juicy strawberry. He says it'll focus you, replenish your wither strength. You eat it a little too quickly, forgetting to savor the pink blush within. You believe too ferociously in everything your master says.

He can never be wrong.

You love the way your new master splatters blood across your sleeves. Be it yours or his enemies. He's started taking you out on his kills, having you watch as he hacks and mauls. His enemies must die, no one who doubts such marvels should be granted the privilege of life.

He's only ever spoken in half-riddles.

"Unfortunately legacy is a fickle thing. Tenacious, fervent, yet frail and erratic. No matter how hematological, we all read our bones differently."

The rain falls to your ragged heartbeat. Fast one minute and slow the next. You stick out your tongue desperate for a few drops. Your body is on fire, every muscle pushed to its limit. But the Force is screaming inside you, thumping dangerously between your fingers. You're ready for the next round. Saber ready and only half mesmerized as your master pulls out another blood-red saber. You charge, rage pumping deliciously through your body.

You forget to ask him where he got the berry from.

The next Jedi to die will be Kelnacca. That's why Sol is dragging all of you to the forest planet of Khofar. You think the name is utterly hilarious, the others don't understand the mirth.

Between briefings and Jacki and Yords packing quarrels. You sneak out to say goodbye to Qimir. Scribbling a half eligible not to leave for your master. But the apothecary is deserted upon your arrival, only a taped note on a half-full mortar.

'Gone to get more Strawberries.

Be back soon.'

You wonder if Khofar has strawberries.

Strawberry, Starberry, you're falling between the cracks of so many.

The Sun on Khofar is red, barely breaching the thick canopy. Maybe it's for the best. This scene is not one to remember, but how can you make yourself forget?

Death looms.

Permanent, Eternal

The fighting began in twilight.

The sky has grown two shades darker since.

He had floated in from the high reaches. You'd almost called out to him, 'master', the words die bitterly on your tongue. His saber ignites in the carnage, light growing redder after each kill. The bodies fall haphazardly stirring the quiet night.

Your saber falls onto the woodchip ground. No sound. He has followed you here. Yet it is not you, he seeks. Your master mask is haunting, in the dark the silver mouth glows bright white. Even against a massacre

the smile never relents.

He twirls the red saber with lethal accuracy, red arc severing another life. 'Take the right!' Jacki screams through the force, her eager voice bouncing inside your cranium. 'Don't' you scream but she's already attacked.

Saber sings saber.

Golden light flickers.

Forward. Backward. Lunge. Parry. Flunge.

Just like you practiced. Back in the quiet of the training room. Is it too late to return to the matted ground and wooden swords? Too late for safe comfort?

You won't take it for granted this time you swear.

Your master attacks with vicious zeal, cutting through the light. His black robes bleeding into the night. Jacki, scurries backward, trying to block with every ounce of strength. In one swift move, she spins freeing herself and assaulting his head with the metal of her weapon.

The mask clutters to the ground.

You scream.

He looks every bit the villain here. Blood drenched, water drenched. Smiling like the wolf in a child's picture book. Qimir's face stares back at you, hair matted to his forehead. He's panting, spent. You've never seen him toil. Dreaming him incapable of harm.

Yet he stands above the corpses. Wolf's teeth bared as he slices through the little girl.

It's been years since Master Sol tucked you into bed. Years since he's read you a story and listened to your baseless questions about romances.

You've finally gotten your answer. Painted in a shade of red indistinguishable from black.

Because the villain is too vile to be loved.

You run, catching the limp corpse before it joins the rest, you cradle her close. Tears landing on the orange of her face. There are no strawberry romances here. No sweet forbidden fruits. Just pain, hollow, empty, rotten. "Jacki" your voice muffles into her robes, rain-soaked, tear-soaked.

"Was that its name?" his voice doesn't sound right. No cheerful hellos or drowsy laughs. It's all menacing now, grating and hollow lilt. "Qimir" you wail, sob half caught in your throat. "It can't be you." He shakes his head, smile crooked and maniacal. "I'm afraid so, little one." The force pushed you up, pulling you to him. Qimirs head tilts, his fingers dancing around your throat. Squeezing squeezing squzing. Your glossy eyes take in his unruly appearance. Even now your master looks utterly perfect. Muscles relaxed as he steals your breath. "Master" you whine, your heart shouldn't be hammering like this, leaping through beats like something lovesick.

"(Y/n)" golden light fills the clearing. Yord runs, Prince Charming in every way you should have loved.

Qimir releases you, only to nestle your neck in the crook of his arm. "Don't worry darling. I'm almost done." He blocks the first attack.

Second, third. Yord scrambles to pull you away, missing each time. "Let her go" The urgency in his voice rattles you. He did love you.

Little sister, little princess.

Why is only starting to make sense now?

There's a crack, so loud it echoes across the woods.

"NO"

Yord's body joins the rest.

no no no

"Where were we?" Qimir is every bit the villain.

The dragon, the wolf, the tyrant king with a crown of bones.

"You lied to me, you killed them. Why, why would you do this."

"Because the Jedi say I can not exist." Sith, right those things were supposed to be evil. Hailing from Koriiban, the evil Jedi forced to flee. And here you were having so readily given yourself to the enemy.

The blood flows free in the rain. Dozens of bodies drained.

There's a river of blood. You kneel by the holy thing, dipping your cupped hands into the crimson. You drink deeply from the massacre thinking it'll taste sweet. Qimir pulls you in holding your throat as he submerges you.

Baptized in blood

The world flashes red.

It feels so free here. Floating weightless, letting everything be. The rage can not find you in these depths. Free like an adrift astromech. Free to float amongst the stars.

When you emerge again. The world has grown brighter. You see the wide-eyed bodies, even Sol is among the dead, you swear you see disappointment in his lifeless orbs. You gulp, swallowing the euphoric faint. You see your new master before you. Swimming to him carefully, following the gentle tug of the force. Prey meets predator. Qimir chuckles, the water is shallow by the banks. He sits awaiting, on his makeshift throne.

There is no sympathy here you should know better

"You took adorable" Qimir rasps. Hot breath fanning your ear. "Master Qimir" you mumble shifting as he pulls you onto his lap. He laughs this is submission, a breath away from grasping his desire. He cups your cheeks, drifting his hands to your shoulders. Pulling you closer, bodies melting into one.

His kisses still taste like strawberries. Sweet and metallic. All possession and domination. Biting lips and tongue and flesh. Spilling fresh poison with each snip of your neck. He licks the blood from your fingers with feral pleasure. Swirling his tongue around each digit and pulling it further down his hungry mouth. You swallow the darkness from his tongue, letting him snuff out the little embers of light. The stars are burning away bit by bit. He pushes you under again.

Mornings on Khofar are dark, caught in a perpetual twilight. Qimir wraps his robes around you letting the midnight sink into your bones. "The ships a bit of a walk. But we should be there before noon." You paddle after him. Fingers lashing awkwardly at his hand. He turns and offers you that tilted smile once more, mask bouncing in his free hand.

"Master qimir" you confess, it feels so light on your tongue. Like clutching dying white-dwarf-stars behind your teeth. He chuckles, snapping a berry from a nearby bush. His smile sings of triumph, victory, earned in blood. He places the fruit amongst your teeth. You, his little war prize.

"My little acolyte"

ᯓ♡ : @feedmestraycats @moonlovefairy  @wicked0clouds @phoenixes-and-wizards @peridedarling @morax-on-my-mind @magikmaik @lov4gor3 @manchuria @bucksdonkey @embersofimagination @hauntedhedgehogs @peter-laufeyson @papitas-con-sal @f0odie @boredtone @bluechissbrain @yourfilthydevil @n0t-skywalker @xsister-serpent @gabriqllas @zionysuss @i-love-my-babygirls @pagingoswin @jxp1ter @faebirdie @deezhutts565 @thesithdiaries @pagingoswin @hauntingwolf @scentedbanditlampwobbler @uwingdispatch @mask-knife-is-buggys-girl @lunarsvertigo @scintilla-morningstar @carpinchootaku

[that-weird-thing-in-the-woods]

:) you all know what time it isssss

Danny Al-ghul

But not in the way you would think. So the Fentons find out about Danny being phantom (catching him changing or something) and {this is a Bad Fenton Au so we gonna traumatizing the fuck out of this boy} and they experiment and torture him for a few weeks to a month in this time frame Jazz, Sam and Tucker have died and have not come back as ghost due to dying by a ghost blaster ( hint hint )

And Danny eventually die (fully this time) due to torture and starvation (They didn’t think ‘Ghost’ needed to eat) and when Danny died he gets yeeted into a part of the Zone no one goes to and when I say no one I mean NO ONE and eventually crashes into it

And now into a bit into this part of The Zone it is actually The Home of the dead Al-ghuls and their assassins + some pit demons but they aren’t really that conscious…I guess I mean they move around and sometimes talk or well scream because they are infected by The Madness (Pit Rage) and kinda act like obsessiveness ghost…oh I never explained what that was well I do it in the next post or something but for the time it just means feral and more animalistic than a normal ghost would be

So basically Danny crash landed into a feral Pit {you see what I did there} and after some shenanigans and shit the dead and Feral Al-ghuls kinda just accepted into the family I mean the past tense assassins and the younger dead Al-ghuls listen to them so he’s a part of them now

And if you were to ask one of the Al-ghuls ( If they were sane enough for that ) they would basically say

=====================================

“Yeah that Danny we don’t know who’s kid he is and he’s not really into the hole assassin thing and he’s far to soft to be an Al-ghul but he heals us and takes care of the younger ones so he’s part of the family and no one’s going to take him away” * proceeds to rip out the core of the ghost who asks and eats it or brings it to Danny because he eats less than everyone else ( he doesn’t he just doesn’t eat fucking CORES)*

=====================================

What I mean about healing them is that Danny constantly carries around a never ending black marble bowl { like in my Snake Empress Au } of the purest ecto you can have ( Clockwork gave it to him for helping the Ferals and the LOLS by the misunderstandings from the future you’ll give it in a sec ) and when ghost are feral instead of cuts and stuff they break and crack like a porcelain doll or something else that cracks that like that and pours a bit into the crack/break

——————————————————————————

Now onto the DC part of this! So while Tim was looking for Bruce in the timestream {like in my Void and Prism Au} and somehow ends up in front of a giant temple like building that is surrounded by multiple lagoons and lakes of Lazarus pits ( and that a bit concerning in itself ) and as Tim walks in he hears footsteps and the pulling of fabric on the ground so he turns around not really knowing what to expect but he was most definitely not expecting the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen but what caught his attention is the black marble bowl that has the purest Lazarus water he’s ever seen and a few shenanigans and a get together later Tim is now dating this ethereal, beautiful, kind he should probably stop while he’s ahead before he goes on for hours {So basically Tim is down bad for our little ghost boy} who so happens to an Al-ghul and Danny helps Tim find Bruce but Danny makes Tim promise to keep in contact ( which Tim was going to do anyway and not to mention Danny’s literal Amy of Feral Al-ghuls/assassins/pit demons who will kill him and than hunt him in death for his core to give to Danny as a trophy and just for the LOLS let’s have everyone misunderstand that Danny is an Al-ghul )

So a few years later Tim and Danny are still in contact and Tim is still down bad but he still hasn’t told everybody about it until one day the Batfam fucks up and Tim fucks off to The Ghost Zone back to his boyfriend ( possible fiancé but still hasn’t told anyone)

=====================================

The JL-JLD: running around like headless chickens

The Batfam: Much angst

Tim and Danny: chilling out and being in love and shit

====================================

And now on to the details of this!

For Danny’s outfit I’m thinking something like this

And he’s wearing some jewelry like this

And for hair

also here is a pic of the black marble bowl ( it is the same in my Snake empress au and in this )

=====================================

nd that’s about it about this au and I hope you guys like it tell me if you want to see more of this byeeeee

[thevividai]

They can never make me hate you Tilikum 🫶🏻

For those who don’t know Tilikum was a 35 year old male orca who was kidnapped from his pod at two years old to be sold off to a park in canada called “Sea land” where he got abused by the other orcas because the trainer wouldn’t feed the other orcas if Tilly didn’t do the trick right (mind you he was a BABY.)

He killed a girl named Keltie Byrne while at Sealand. While his motives for that was unclear it was theorized to be because of his frustration since he was constantly raked and abused by the other orcas every night.

A while later Tilly was sold to SeaWorld where he was constantly used as a “breeder” because of his size and genetics despite his record of killing people. One day the morning shift found a dead naked man in Tilly’s tank later identified as David P Dukes who had broken into seaworld and had seemingly tried to swim with Tilly, He was found drowned with several injuries. Seaworld said Tilly hadn’t killed him and that he was just was trying to play with the corpse. Which i have a 50/50 opinion on, i could see Tilly trying to play with the body but also i could see Tilly being the cause of David’s death. Mainly because Tilly also got abused and outcasted by the orcas at SeaWorld, His only company was the humans who he was trained by, He was constantly stressed and starved and hurt due to both seaworld and the orcas. He had no output for his emotions. Just a empty concrete pool too small for him, So either way he had done something to David wether he be alive or dead, I just think Tilly was doing it out of frustration.

Despite this happening Tilly was still used in shows and in a breeding program, Trainers said that Tilly was eager to please and happy to be around them, He was also incredibly gentle with his very sick offspring even though the calf ended up dying (i can’t remember their gender and i can’t find it anywhere but they were possibly male, they didn’t even get named.)

Tilikum didn’t want to be a violent orca. He just wanted to be free. He spent his entire life in what was basically a bathtub with iirc 27 other orcas. Imagine being locked in a bathtub your entire life with people who hate you and want to hurt you. Only ever getting fed if you do tricks right.

That was Tilikum’s life.

In 2010 during a dine with shamu, Tilikum had went above and beyond on a trick, But he hadn’t heard the whistle to come back and get his reward, When he had come to get it his trainer, Dawn Brancheu had to tell him no since he hadn’t come at the recall, She was also running low on fish to which Tilikum could tell thanks to the ice rolling around in the bucket.

Tilikum should NOT have been in these shows in the first place. While i sympathize and love Tilikum it does NOT change the fact he was a liability to the trainers. Tilikum should’ve been released back into the wild after what happened with Keltie, If they had done that ALL of this could’ve been prevented. But because of Greed they kept him in captivity to be abused starved hurt and blamed.

He was frustrated and hungry, And Dawn had gotten on a laying platform WHICH SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ALLOWED. Tilikum was known to be possessive and potentially aggressive if met with the right situation. Tilikum had swam up to Dawn after a while, Tilikum had lashed out and grabbed Dawn and drowned her in front of a horrified crowd. After they retrieved Dawn’s body Tilikum was seen near her corpse looking at her and vocalizing.

And even after that, TILIKUM WAS STILL USED IN SHOWS.

That should have NEVER been allowed. While it had been forbidden after for trainers to be in the water it didn’t stop SeaWorld from abusing Tilikum. They left him in a too small pool ALONE for 80% of his life after Dawn’s tragic death. In 2013 a film called BlackFish (which is on Netflix) came out shedding some light on what had happened to Tilikum and other orcas.

In 2017 Tilikum died alone, hurt, starved, and suffering because of a respiratory infection.

They could never make me hate Tilly.

It wasn’t his fault.

It wasn’t Dawn’s fault.

It wasn’t David’s fault.

It wasn’t Keltie’s fault.

It was entirely SeaWorld/Land’s fault.

[a-whispering-echo]

below is a transcript of the rambles in my notes on my Pirate Au.

the concept is THERE okay? just not that thought out. Dream was originally in this au too, he has since been nerfed cus i just dont really like Dream, oops.

They're all from different ships and we're stranded on the same island - They have to work together to make a new ship and get off thhe Island

Dusts ship was infected with illness, he killed them all to stop them dying painfully from it, he planned to drown himself after killing them all, this didn't work, and he ended up washed up on the island - The grey Spirit

Most of Horrors ship died of starvation after they were low on supplies and the captain hoarded all the food for herself. when they were hit by the storm, Horror get his head wound from that and doesn't remember much of his life from before the crash, just knowing that he had a brother and that he has to make sure he's safe, he doesn't know he's already dead. - the Qualm's Tail

Killers ship had broken out into civil war, and almost everyone was killed in this war, most of them to his own hand, he was in the side of rebellion against their captain who was killing off their own crew for more shares of treasure, when they were hit by the storm, they're were only around ten men altogether, Killer doesn't much care what happened to his crew mates, he saw a lot of them as traitors and those he didn't he wasn't very close to anyway. - the Something New

Cross was sailing on his own, he was sent out by his town for supplies by his father, one of the leaders. Gaster hoped his son would die at sea, or at the very least, not come back. He got his wish when Cross' small boat couldn't handle the fierce tides of the ocean. Cross was mostly honoured to be chosen to go out, thinking it a time to prove himself, never realising that the people hated him until he spoke about his home life with the others, and they picked up on things he didn't. - the X

Nightmare was a prince who ran away when he was young due to the villagefolk believing him to be cursed by the devil due to his magic being dark in nature. he ran away and became one of the most feared pirates on the seas, stating that if everyone was going to treat him as if he was evil anyway, he might as well actually commit the crimes he was accused of. Nightmare exclusively worked alone, using illusion magic to make it seem like he had a huge crew to scare people off, but on his own he couldn't fight the tide and his ship hit a rock while he was asleep. - The Nightfall Mare

They arrive on the island withing a few hours of each other, nm lands first, relitivly unharmed, just a few nicks and scratches, but he has some food with him, just some bread and berries, and fresh water to last a good while. The mtt then wash up on quick succession, Horror first, unconscious and extremely wounded ,Nightmare doesnt know what to do, and mostly just tries to stop the bleedlng as best as he can with his clothing, until Dust washed up. He's also unconscious, and almost drowned, but when he's resuscitated by nm, he immediately helps horror, as dust was a medic in training, horror stays unconscious for a few days, but is mostly okay in the end, minus some memory problems, due to dusts help. Killer shows up about 20 minutes after dust wakes up, he's awake, but cut up pretty badly, but not in fear of death, but he has weapons, several knives, and axes on his shipwreck, dusst helps patch him up too, and then a few hours later, cross shows up. He has a bag of supplies, of water and rope, but most importantly, he knew fire magic. Together, they had enough supplies to survive, and become very close along the

[muffinsin]

Hi again muffin. Could you do a happy/smutty sequel to some of the angsty s/o died to whatever with them being revived by the cadou as is I remember correctly the sisters were all dead when they turned so it wouldn't be too far past the point for an s/o to be saved using it. Also please with the s/o keeping their memory just happy sisters with safe cadou'ed beloveds murdering anyone who looks at their partners wrong.

Again Thank you.

Hiya! Did I get myself a nickname?👀XP

Actually did something similar here, of the reader being revived and the sisters getting clingy :)

Let’s get into this, we need some happy endings after the angst! :)

Masterlist 1

Masterlist 2

Bela

She’s head over heels when the cadou implant works and you are brought back to life

Alive. In her arms. Holding her as she holds you. She thought she would never feel it again

She is immensely protective and eager to learn of your new abilities

Also, she barely leaves your side for quite a while. She hopes you don’t mind, though

She is quick to teach you: now it means kill, or be killed

And she will not lose you again

She basks in your warmth, and frankly: is quite flustered around you when you simply have a more powerful aura due to the cadou infecting you

If you grow taller than her due to your transformation, this absolutely is a way to fluster her as well

She’s very eager to learn with you, and support you

Though she is also protective as it comes to your transformation: it’s fresh, and she wants you to be careful. She knows the sensation of feeling unstoppable all too well

She doesn’t want you dying on her purely out of recklessness

If you must feast on blood, she will only bring you the finest. If not, she will ensure you get enough food to sate your hunger

Bela is, aside from being happy you’re back, thrilled at another thing that has been on her mind:

Eternity together

She is so happy to spend the rest of her life with you

She can’t help but get ahead of herself, imagining weddings and such, a future an eternity away of the two of you still together

What is more beautiful than that?

She does not share these thoughts just yet, but is sure to show her love to you every day

In bed, she is absolutely a fan of your enhanced senses and such

More strength to your body? Prepare for her to explore your new limits, bringing orgasm after orgasm or edging for hours until you beg the sweet blonde

To tease you with all the sounds and scents you can hear now-

Her cunt squelching from her wetness,

Her heartbeat quickening,

Her gasps and moans louder and more defined, her own blood pumping

On the submissive side, she absolutely screams in delight when you use your newly acquired strength on her

She is yours, utterly, and you are hers. And everybody who messes with what is hers regrets it bitterly

Every maid glancing at you the wrong way is dragged to the dungeons, never to be seen again

Secretly, she loves when you are possessive/protective and harm, or even murder those looking at her wrong or with a little too much desire

Every intruder who dares come into the castle is slain. Should you not be grossed out by this, she will bathe in their blood with you

Cassandra

The first thing you feel upon waking up, is Cassandra’s weight against you, her arms tightly around you

“How dare you make me worry about you!”

She’s emotional and she hates it. She absolutely will not show you that she has been crying, instead opts for hiding in your neck

You smell different- it excites her, and she immediately asks for a taste

She can’t help it, really

The cadou enriches your blood further. She’s already loved it, but now? She’s shamelessly moaning into your head every single time she has a taste. It tastes so good, and can really get her going

She will not stray from your side for a while, and is eager to test out your new abilities as soon as possible

If you require blood, she is even more thrilled

This means you get to hunt with her!

Cassandra is by no means sappy or a romantic, cheesy lover, but hunting together? It’s the utter definition of romance to her

She loves the mere thought of it, and must hold back from immediately dragging you outside to do so

Upon hunting together, she feels so many things. Pride, eagerness, arousal

It turns her on endlessly to watch you kill and she will need relief- fast and hard, against a tree or on the ground even- she cannot wait until you return to the castle

Aside from this, she is so proud to have an infected lover

She doesn’t want to lose you to mortality. Never. It’s one less thing to worry about

Cassandra will often ask you to join her in the dungeons

She will only pout as normal if you refuse, and ask for extra time spent together later on,

Should you join, the brunette will ramble on and teach you all her ways

Together, you explore your mutation

Cassandra enjoys blood baths and will often ask you to join now that you are infected- it’s so good for your skin, she agues. You’re unsure if this is true or just something she says to lure you into the large pool of blood

Daniela

She pounces on you at the first possible chance, giggling happily

You’ve only been dead for a short while, until the cadou set in, but still…

Your little love bug missed you dearly!

She grins and kisses you, then draws back in surprise at your changed scent and taste

She likes it!

She’s so giddy and clingy, and especially enthusiastic when she finds out about your enhanced strength and senses

This redheaded fly-mutant will insist you carry her the majority of the time of your first few days back

She still loves being carried afterwards, of course, and will often ask you to do so

She immediately serves you the finest of foods- everything, unsure of what your taste will be like

Will you be like her family? Craving blood?

She’ll have bowls and glasses prepared with the finest one, picked by her and (don’t tell😬) stolen from her Mother’s personal collection

Or will you be like Lord Heisenberg and Beneviento and prefer food as you’ve had it?

Not an issue! She’s brought you the finest meals from the duke that even have her stomach growl

She’s excited to see you be more enduring now

She can finally play a little more rough with you!

Of course, she will also be quite emotional for a while, and extremely protective

Have you been killed by a lycan, she will offer you to go for revenge. She knows a small lycan camp just in the forest near the castle…

She wants to show you the mutts haven’t got anything on you anymore. They’re prey, if anything.

She likes to taunt them with her sister and wants to show you they’re no threat anymore

In bed, she is absolutely thrilled to try out new things

Your strength for one. She urges you to take it out on her- she knows she can take it, and is eager to

She wants to feel your hand slapping against her ass cheeks and wants to howl in pain from the amount of force used

Eagerly, she asks you for the same treatment with a strap on/when filling her

She is delighted to explore your body again, over and over again, and is tempted to brat even more than she does at times, eager for punishments

When someone glances at you for too long, she immediately snaps

You’re hers! They have no business looking at you. Perhaps, it would be more merciful to send her poor victim to the cellar once she’s done with them…

When she notices you kill or harm for her, she is flustered. She thinks it’s romantic, unsurprisingly. She’s always wanted a little unhinged monster all to herself! For this to be partly implemented in your personality due to the cadou is exciting to her

She knows, for eternity, you will always have each other. As she likes to say:

You’ll be together, forever

[rise-my-angel]

Heres the rub: Mirri Maz Duuri is not responsible for what happened to Drogo or Rhaego. She was very clear that Drogo was going to die from his wounds. She gave specific instructions which Drogo didn't listen to, and the result is naturally his wound getting infected passed the point of curing. Drogo was already going to die, so nothing that happens to him is Mirris fault.

Rhaego though, I contest the idea that Mirri did anything to him to intentionally and maliciously kill a child. Clearly Mirri understood that Rhaego would be the price for Drogo, but first, that is Danys fault for asking absolutely no more questions on the matter once Mirri clarified it would not be Danys life as the price. As soon as she learned she was not to die, she clearly considered any other life not worthy of question. Mirri distinctly warns her multiple times of the danger and price of the blood magic she is demanding Mirri perform, but does not ask her to clarify what any of those warnings mean beyond her own life.

But here's the thing, when Mirri tells Dany what Rhaego looked like when he was born, this is not the first time a Targaryean woman has given birth to a highly deformed stillborn. Rhaenyra was said to have given birth to an equally as deformed child, and while some of this can be chalked up as exaggerations, history also tells us that real life babies born from massive degrees of inbreeding were born with highly unusual deformities.

Rhaego might have been alive inside Dany but that does not mean that he would've gone on to be a viable live birth, or even really go on to survive infancy.

So if the dying Drogos life is traded for the barley alive Rhaego, it explains why neither life really made it. The situations would have ended up the same if Dany never ordered Mirri to perform the spell. Drogo would die from injuries and Dany would've go on to birth a highly deformed, barley alive Rhaego who likely wouldn't have survived due to the extreme nature of his birth defects.

Targaryean women have a very concerning track record of fertility issues. Danys own mother suffered 8 miscarriages and stillbirths before having a living child and then died giving birth to her next. Fertility and stillbirth is a rampant issue amongst these women due to the abhorrent effects of generational inbreeding.

Drogo was always going to die from his injuries, and Rhaego was never going to survive being born from a mother with such damaged genetics.

But because Dany ordered her to do this, she can claim it was Mirri who caused this.

"When your womb quickens again and you bear a living child. Then he will return, and not before."

Isn't some prophetic vision or warning or confession. Its Mirri telling Dany that Drogo will never be as he once was, because it is as possible as Dany giving birth to a living child. It's her saying that Mirri cannot promise he will come back because she cannot promise the impossible.

Even if Mirri did all of this on purpose, which we do not know because Dany burns her alive before finding out with any true certainty, it doesn't matter.

Drogo and Rhaego were never going to survive anyways. But Mirri gets blamed, because we are fooled into thinking Danys pov is her being a reliable narrator, and she tells us Mirri is to blame and then burns her alive before the audience has a chance to question that position.

Mirri isn't a child murderer. The effects of rampant incestual inbreedings on hereditary genetics is Rhaegos killer.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

I have been infected by your AU. As such, have thoughts.

The thing that catches Technoblade in the end is his empathy. That, more than anything, is what keeps him trapped.

He knows the others are androids. How could he not? He knows this. He knows everything about them, from their personality to their responses, is artificial. It's not real, it's an approximation of what would work best, an amalgamation of code and psychology all jumbled up in the most efficient attempts to make him stay. The guilt trips don't work, or at least they shouldn't, because there's nothing to hurt. No soul, no personality aside from what they manufactured.

But they do. They make him hesitate, every time. He knows ways to take out androids (all risky, hypothetical at best, but a chance), but they're the type of thing androids don't come back from. He can't take the thought of ToMM1's eyes blinking shut and never opening, the thought of PH1lZa's hurt and W1LbuR's bitter resignation when they realize the betrayal. (And really, that's assuming it works and there isn't something worse that comes of it. Failure is a specter of its own.)

He just. . . can't.

Because who is he to draw the line between artificial and true, between worth it and not, between person and tool.

Because really it can all be summed up in one line.

"I'm a person."

I'm going off of character Technoblade here and assuming his personality in the AU would be mostly the same. So he's the guy who tore down governments and thought they'd be fine, because all he could see were the people inside. The guy who stared down a kid who was supposed to be executed and saw just that. A kid, an ally, someone with friends and fears, not a threat. (Which in that moment Tubbo was, not in and of himself, but due to the circumstances around him. Tubbo was the linchpin which held Technoblade's life and the revolution on its back.) He's the one who fought so hard to be a person, only to never be believed. This is the man who knows how it feels to be a threat (The Blade) and how hard it is to be anything different when that's all you are to those around you.

And that's part of the tragedy here. Technoblade can't help but see them as real, as people. And they can't help but not.

Thanks to the programing, all they can ever see is a problem, a solution, a possession. Something to be protected, but only. Ever. Some. Thing.

While he can't help but see them as human, they can't help but see him as machine. A mess of inputs and outputs; made to be manipulated.

(As for possible AU names. . . Mechanisms of Captivity? Mechanisms of Trust? Machine AU? I don't know if any of these are what you were looking for, or if they'd work, but you asked.)

I've been thinking a lot about Techno in this AU, the sort of person he is.

I'm inclined to actually make him a bit younger. Think in the older teen ballpark (16-18 years old?). But very much still an anarchist. The thing about this AU is that even before the whole literal apocalypse started, it was basically a cyberpunk dystopia.

Through the advancement of technology and capitalism, as well as the environment being ruined and people's jobs being increasingly threatened by automatisation, the wealth gap has only become wider. The middle class is all but gone. There's only low income citizens struggling to get by (and often dying in the process) and the rich elite that rule everything living a cushy life full of luxury. Androids and robots are everywhere - service jobs, public transports, security, everywhere - but highly advanced androids with intelligence for personal purchase are really just a commodity for the rich.

Techno is an orphan, and he's been on the very bottom of this wretched society, trying to scrape by. An anarchist who hates the oppressive, controlling government, and hates androids by extension. He's a bit of a hacker (his bestie Skeppy even more so) and isn't unknown to the law system, though it's mostly petty crime, so him being a minor and his own resourcefulness has allowed him to stay out of real trouble. He's not upgraded to full on terrorism yet. Theft to get by, moving contraband around for money, sometimes street art or vandalism, that sort of thing.

(Maybe even a Robin Hood type vibe, steal from the rich give to the poor!)

But Techno has learned how to work around androids (again, security is mostly machine-based. Techno knows how to be tricky with them). And that's what saves his life when the killing machine apocalypse gets into full swing.

It's also another layer to his dislike for SBI. Techno is going to be even more hostile and distrustful towards them regardless of the apocalypse thing. And he knows androids are just machines, but it's hard when SBI are so humanlike...

And then again, they are the most advanced models ever. The bug has even further boosted their cognitive ability. At what point does one get personhood? At what point have these machines become people?

(Some people had other ideas but 'Mechanisms of Trust' is banger I'm stealing that /lh)

[searsage]

What would your thoughts be on a role reverse AU, where humans are the ascendant species and Robin’s the one stuck in the containment cube? I feel like you’d have some thoughts :3c

(sorry my dumbass clicked unfollow instead of ask)

I think I've seen some neat reverse au ideas floating around and i think there is a actually a fic or two about it being the other way around one ao3!

Id definitly check em out!

As for me i have considered it before tho id still have Al-an an architect and Robin a human lol hear me out.

Like the precursors were successful in curing khaara but not before the bacteria managed to make it to sol's solar system, that being the case it was discovered by Alterra and brought back to earth in hopes of weaponized.

This of course was a complete mistake, as they could not control it and the bacteria predictably goes apeshit, infecting everything on earth.

Over the years many attempts to combat the bacterium fails and pretty much all is doomed when the last attempt at a vaccine fails.

Amidst this Sam a scientist once attempted to make a cure but her efforts were in vain, then turned her sights to another frontier, instead turning her talents to creating a way for man to outlive the virus by attempting to flee into stasis, new and a unstable technology but inarguably their last hope.

Yet due to the unauthorized use of materials and lack of time and general lack of support from her peers past her sibling, her creation mostly successful efforts goe unappreaciated and noticed by the wrong person.

Sam contracts khaara, infected by a jealous scientist who planned on stealing credit for her work. Buuuut before dying she managed to trick Robin into a stasis machine hidden in the lab.

Freezing her mind and body in a unstable but lucid like sleep within a cryopod

After it is implied Sam's work was stolen and the fualty prototype rebranded but as a cheap faulty series as they never fully understood Sams backwards blueprints and never discovered the self sufficient staisis machine.

This of course leads to humanity's extinction, the stasis machine failing.

Loooong time later precursors are asigned to Sol to clean up the pieces left behind by the bacteria, when Al-an comes to earth he finds a barren and alien planet, stuggling to recover, khaara has died out mostly but decontamination efforts were still required which is what lands a curious Al-an to explore the ruins of the long extinct species.

Noticing a odd energy pulse he diverges from his intended duties and tracks the tether until he ends up discovering the faulty stasis cryopad in a long destroyed laboratory.

And Robin still dreaming in the pod, but like her bodies heavily damaged from khaara and time breaching the tank.

Of course his reckless curiosity leads him to accidentally disrupting the power/breaking the tank by accident, and realizes the human's body starts rapidly deteriorating.

Without though shrimp boy ends up using alien technology to yank her mind into the his vessel with him.

Unaware that the disgruntled researcher was very much awake and very displeased, as for her one moment she was watching her dying sister scramble to hide blueprints, alterra agents tearing apart her lab, then a alien abducting her!.

In general i like to think Robin would be the one with the pessimistic outlook and internalized trauma, Al-an would likely be vary unprepared to deal with the boarderline suicidal and cynical head voice..

I like to think it would be a nice hurt comfort fic, with alot of inner healing and not only coming to terms with how ugly the world could be event at the end of it! But also learning to retrust people after the betrayal that murdered her sister!

I also want to note while the option to give Robin a body is plausible Al-An outright refuses until long later to offer her one as she has shown signs that she may be a danger to he's self.

Lots of slow steps and self indulgent fluff and validation because i live on that shit…but yeah that was it lol xD

[gamergirl-06]

Nellis

For all the Nellis (Nick + Ellis) shippers out there (been seeing a lot of Nellis content lately) (also my regarding my left4dead story I posted here earlier, it was a text I sent my nan of what I had written in my journal but edited, she liked it 🥹)

Warnings: fluff

The entire saferoom was quiet. The sound that Nick used to complain about enjoying.

All of his teammates were asleep, Ellis was nestled into his side with his arms wrapped around his waist and Nick in a protective embrace.

Nick looked down at his boyfriends sleeping from and smiled. He couldn’t believe he found the southern boy amongst the chaos.

He remembered the day he met Ellis on the roof of the burning hotel.

Flashback

“Hey come back” Rochelle yelled

“Come back, come back” coach yelled out to the helicopter which just left “oh he ain’t coming back”

Nick gritted his teeth in anger “damnit”

Ellis chimed in “looks like that chopper is head in’ to the evac centre at the mall”

“Gotta agree, let’s follow em to the mall” coach agreed.

Nick walked over grabbing and a crowbar and he smiled thinking back to his time as a con man “this feels good”

He failed to notice the southern boy come up beside him until he opened his mouth.

“What does?

Nick almost shit himself as he turned beside him and looked Ellis in the eye.

“Could you not do that” he said a little annoyed a little in shock as his breathing went from fast to normal in 2 seconds.

“Sorry I apologize” Ellis said.

There was something about the boy that drew Nick in but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He watched Ellis grab the two pistols and walk into the hotel.

Flashback ends

He had to admit, he was a bit of an asshole towards the kid but that’s because he felt feelings towards him and it scared him at first.

The last time Nick loved it ended in a messy marriage he ended up being unhappy in, and after that it had been a long time that he hadn’t felt those feelings. He was so used to being the most important person to himself and so distrusting of others that he closed himself off which was why he was an asshole in the first place.

He was scared to have human interaction and at one point even going as far as saying “I trust the zombies more than I trust real people”.

But that was before Ellis and now..hell he had changed, for the better. He started to trust everyone in the group and been kinder towards others because Ellis was, coach and Ro liked this Nick better. Sometimes he would make snarky remarks but that was all in good fun. Nick even made a lot of bad dad jokes to cheer the group up which worked a lot of the time.

Nick loved Ellis so much and he didn’t want to admit it but the thought of losing the love of his life scared him.

He had reoccurring nightmares of Ellis dying at the hands of infected and everytime he would wake up in a pool of sweat.

He hasn’t told the others about them because he didn’t want to seem weak and especially not Ellis, he didn’t want to seem like he couldn’t protect him.

Tonight was one of those nights, Nick lay awake due to the same horrible nightmare and he couldn’t get back to sleep.

Laying there with Ellis on top of him, all he could do was look out of the window of a house they had found as he watched the moon in the sky.

Nick sighed “why did I do to deserve this?”

Ellis stirred slightly which caused Nick to look down at him.

“Why are ya awake?” Ellis said as he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Nick.

“Just couldn’t sleep?” Nick replied looking back out the window “Now go back to sleep”

“No, there’s sum’n bothering ya. Ya can tell me Nicky” Ellis said as he placed a hand on his boyfriend’s cheek.

Nick looked back down out Ellis who gave him his undivided attention before sighing “ok”

He began “I’ve been getting the same nightmare a lot since we’ve been together. It’s horrible and always the same, you dying at the hands of infected and me begging you to stay awake for me…”Nick stopped and his eyes glassed over with tears.

Ellis began to rub soothing circles on Nick’s cheeks as he continued.

“I’m scared that those dreams will become reality one day and I can’t bear the thought of losing you because I love you so fucking much” his voice cracked as tears rolled down his face “I don’t want to hold your dead body sobbing for you to come back to me, I need you, I want us to have a life together. You changed me for the better Ellis”

Wiping away Nick’s tears, Ellis kisses his cheek before saying “Darlin’ you ain’t gonna lose me, I have so much dumb shit that I want to do when we are out of here and you know I can’t miss out on that”

Nick let out a giggle, an actual genuine giggle

“Thanks hon” Nik replied

“Much obliged” Ellis replied “also I’ll be damned if I die because I wouldn’t want to leave you either and I wouldn’t be able to do this anymore”

Nick is caught off guard by Ellis crashing his lips to Nicks and once realizing, Nick hold Ellis in his arms before they pull away.

“I feel weak” Nick said

“Why?”

“Because I feel like I can’t protect you if I have those dreams it makes me feel that-“

Ellis cut him off “hey hey hey, you are not weak, you’ve protected me more times than I can count”

Nick smiled “really?”

“Yes, now cuddle me” Ellis said and Nick slipped down next to him pulling Ellis into his chest.

“I love you Ellis”

“Love you too Nick”

[bucknastysbabe]

OOP FOUND A FUN ONE

Prompt #452

Humans have an insatiable appetite for the minerals and other resources that are required to build robot and computer slaves. These natural resources are excavated from deep within the Earth's crust by a team of robots with enhanced artificial intelligence. You are a scientist who controls these robots through a cybernetic device implanted in your brain. But the robots have become self-aware – and are learning to control their master.

Rating: Explicit

Tags: TW: Violence, mind control, mention of assault, pnv!sex, we fackin robots, robot!bucky, dystopian!au, touch starved buck buck he’s a good boy, angst, open ending

Fracture - B. Barnes

A general term to include any kind of discontinuity in a body of rock if produced by mechanical failure, whether by shear stress or tensile stress. Fractures include faults, shears, joints, and planes of fracture cleavage.

The Pierce Corporation didn’t care about its expendable Cynernetics. They’d just send another team down. You were the lead scientist of this group, diving deep in planet XE-2A for Anthracite. Anything to keep the dying Earth alive just a bit longer. Holstering your stun gun you thumbed at the entry point of cybernetic implant in your brain. It had been bothering you recently— might need a trip to medbay soon.

Walker and Hodgkins, actual humans, watched over the multiple screens showing your crew. You let them have names, much to Walker’s chagrin. He was still sore on that demotion from not yielding enough minerals due to multiple uprisings under his leadership. Your team constantly was in the top echelon.

“See Walker, if you give them the illusion of choice, they’re much more eager to work,” you said, eyes scanning over Bucky working hard. The blonde glared at you and harrumphed, “They’re fucking machines, robots, AI designed by that prick Stark, you think they’re so obedient. Just wait.”

Hodgkins shrugged. Your implant spiked with pain, you wincing. Both pairs of eyes landed on you with concern. Shrugging them off you muttured, “Going to medbay, my chip port is off. Don’t fuck with the team, please.” Shuffling to through the dreary halls you sighed. Joining Pierce Corp you were hoping for more of the biological side, but they liked your leadership skills and stuck you down in the mines. The cold, uncaring, filled with god knows what mines.

You liked your team though. Let them take breaks, chat with them, sometimes come down to help out. Build a camaraderie. They were eerily close to human anyways, didn’t make much of a difference. Although you had to admit the new fellow didn’t sit right with your gut— he’d been transferred to your team recently. Didn’t want to take a name, just worked. He was under the notorious Rumlow before.

Cold eyes, snarky comments, vile sense of humor. He didn’t care much for you either, no matter how hard you had tried. Bucky, your best worker favorite, offered a pat on the shoulder and whispered, “He’s still messed up from Rumlow, don’t worry about it.” He flashed a pretty smile and you shook off your worries, Buck had a good way of making things seem better.

Another pang. You picked up the pace, growing fearful and agitated. If the chip didn’t work, you couldn’t get your bots back under your control. That meant a certain death. The coward Walker got lucky when they revolted on him. But it was unlikely they’d uprise.

A set of white doors opened and closed, a cleasing spray hosing you down, then the second pair opened. Dr. Banner looked up from his desk, raising a brow. Holding your hands up you joked, “Not the end of the world Banner, I’m not sick or infected with parasites. My inhibitor chip port keeps popping off with these sharp pains.”

He frowned and beckoned you over to lay down on a steel table, murmuring, “How long have you had these pains?” He waved a bright light in your pupils as you hummed, “Uh, about a month or so ago. They’ve gotten worse. First just random but now it’s irritating.”

“That’s strange. Haven’t heard of port issues. Maybe a wire went bad. Let me get an X-ray.”

You turned your head and he scanned the area, clicking his tongue. “Yep, bad wiring, want me to knock you out and take care of it now?” You nodded vigorously, begging, “Please! Driving me up a wall!”

Later on, you were in the mess hall with the other sector scientists, which usually was a dick showing contest. You and Yelena were the only females, usually sticking to your corner. Rumlow was recounting this female worker he’d cornered up and got her to suck him off after hours, Rollins and Sitwell eating it up like pigs.

“Maybe next time she’ll bite your dick off and do us all a favor,” you hollered over to the asshole. Eyes widened you sat back down abruptly, staring at Yelena in fear. You didn’t say that. You wouldn’t dare say that. What just happened?

Rumlow clicked his tongue and scoffed, “Oh shut it over there, everyone knows you and that silver armed freak have a little something-something going on.” You stammered, “I’m completely professional with my team Rumlow.” The blonde girl put a hand on your shoulder, shaking her head.

He stood up and leered at you, humming, “Mhmmm, if not then maybe you need to come to my quarters, might loosen you up a tad.”

“Fuck off Rumlow.”

“Bitch.”

It was quiet, you forking down your food, stomach in knots. Why did you say that earlier? It felt like you had a puppet pulling your mouth open. Yelena asked, “You alright?” Rubbing your port you mumbled, “I..I don’t know. Dr. Banner fixed my bad wire, maybe I just need a new replacement. It felt like something took control of me.”

Rumlow hollered across the hall again, “Hey, how’s that jackass A3-54 doing on your team now? Piece of work, think he’s too good to talk. Ain’t dumb enough to know he’s AI.”

The jolt in your body erupted again, sending you upright, slamming your hands on the table. “You’re all going to fucking die you bastards! And I know you’ll be first Rummy boy!” Rumlow advanced on you, snarling. He fell over on the table, out cold. Yelena holstered her weapon, set on stun. She eyed you and said, “Banner. Now.”

She briskly escorted you to the med bay again and declared upon entry, “Complete removal of inhibitor chip, something’s not right.” You tried to explain and then your vision grew tilted, blackness encompassing your vision.

Upon awakening the backup lights were on, red alarms flashing and blaring. You blinked open and felt your chip, still intact. Banner was dead on the floor, you held back a retch at Yelena’s lifeless body. Why were you still alive and what the fuck was going on? A voice prattled off in your head.

“Hi commander, it’s A3-54. Figured it was time for an overhaul before Pierce sends in the troops. Going to need you to manipulate a little override for me now, okay?”

Your body was moving, forcing you along step by step to Banner’s computer. You grunted in pain, “Stop…stop it..no!” Nasty laughter echoed in your head, other voices piping in. Tears slid down your face as you watched your fingers type in the codes, pulling up the interface for scientist and AI command chips.

“Fuck! Fuck please! Pierce will annihilate us all!,” you pled.

The override button was pressed, the sounds of cheering echoing in your scrambled brain. You crumpled to your knees, utter fear wracking your body. This place would be in flames before the end of the night. Catastrophic levels of hell. You slumped against the desk, head in your hands.

These robots were designed to be much stronger and durable. Without the control trip, you were powerless. The station would be turned around very, very quickly. You eyed your gun, contemplating ending it all. Shakily reaching for the weapon you held it to your temple.

“No!,” came a voice, “Put the fucking gun down.”

It was Bucky. Was he part of this? How could he— fuck. Your chest ached. Miserably moaning you responded, “What’s the goddamn point Buck? Go on, get out of range before the kill switch is activated.”

“Not without you. Where are you?”

“Med-bay. That fucking asshole killed Yelena and Banner.”

Staring at the two kind souls ripped to shreds, a familiar cold hand shook your shoulder. You lethargically stared at Bucky’s familiar face and croaked, “Why?” He gritted his jaw and picked you up easily, asking, “Where are the ships?” You laughed, “They’re probably being swarmed by now. We’re stuck on this rock.”

“I can tell you’re lying. Spit it,” he said, way too gentle.

Glaring at him you grumbled, “Bottom level. Top clearance. I should be able to get in. The smart ones will be there too.” Bucky grabbed Yelena’s gun and tucked it in his mining suit. You directed him toward the vaults, eventually making the robot put you down.

The pair of you made your way deeper and deeper down eerily greenish lit hallways. You finally mustered the courage to ask, “How long?” He raised a brow, interrupted by a hoarse sob, “How long did you know this was possible? I tried to be good, I cared for my team, I cared for,” you clamped your mouth shut. Shoving past Bucky you took the lead.

He called after you, catching up to wrap his titanium arm around your waist in a vice. Bucky’s chilly body was pressed tight behind you, artificially made lips brushing a sensitive ear. The brunette rasped, “I’ve been self-aware for a year now. But I didn’t know about the chip malfunction. The defective was talking about it but I thought it was impossible. You going to finish that sentence, commander?”

Tears streamed down your cheeks, Bucky wiping them away with synth-skin. He sighed, “You’re killing me right now, just say it.” Glaring the robot down you wheezed, “I cared for you. I care for you,” you pointed at him, “But I never would let this insolence slide if I heard of an overthrow.”

He frowned, looking painfully guilty. The rest of the walk was silent until reaching the huge doors containing the secret ship. A3-54 was making Rumlow open it up, the former master shaking with every movement. He was already profusely bleeding. A3 howled, “I’ll make you hurt worse, fucking hurry up!”

Blue synthetic blood and the red of human blood spattered the steel walls. You gasped in shock, wide-eyed look turned to the usually docile Bucky. His eyes looked hollow, sculpted lips turned down. The doors slid open to reveal the unharmed ship, shifting Rumlow with a slick squelch.

You felt sick. But you needed their bodies to figure this out. Bucky easily grabbed both of the deceased individuals, dragging them into the chamber. Right, hive mind currently. You slammed the lock on the door, sealing the space back up.

Rounding the back of the sleek ship, emblazoned with the grim logo of Pierce Corp, you keyed in, the walkway sliding down with a hiss. Bucky followed you in, still dragging the corpses. You hissed, “Put them in that compartment over there, please.”

You settled into the cockpit, placing the coordinates to the nearest home base. Bucky sat down next to you, still quiet. Only the clicking of the dash and hum of the thrusters starting up filled the void. The port opened and the ship zoomed off at hyper-speed.

“We have a day. I’ll have to relay a message soon. I’d like to be alone now.”

He didn’t move, metal hand crunching the steel arm of the chair. Bucky’s jaw clicked and shifted, eyes flickering around. He ground out, “I care for you too. It’s not in my programming. I should have reported A3 commander. Forgive me, please.”

You stared at his sorrowful blues for a long time, feeling numb. This was wrong. Everything was wrong. Why didn’t they put you in bio? You needed to send the message to base before they’d blast you on site.

Instead you ordered the robot, “Go pull out the cot.”

He nodded, eyes lighting up slightly. You kept your mind blank. “Lay on it,” came the addition. Confused orbs stared at you. Slowly you pulled off your gear, then the standard issue garb of your rank, dropping down to thin underwear. He got the point somewhere along the way, undressing frantically, arm whirring.

You eyed his frame, nakedness only hidden by issued briefs. Straddling perfectly crafted thighs you hummed, “Why did they even give you a cock?” Bucky’s cheeks purpled from the blue blood underneath. He stammered, “I- I- don’t know. Didn’t use it except for my hand.”

“Did you touch yourself to me BU-18?,” came your silky purr. He whispered, eyes closed in shame, “Yes commander, I did, many times.” You grabbed his hardened need and stroked it through the thin fabric, the poor thing gasping and whimpering.

“Never by anyone else, no other commanders, no team member on a lonely night?,” you hissed as jealousy grew in your gut.

His brows furrowed as you continued to pump his purpled cock, “Only you, you’re my ah! Commander. I serve you!” You palmed his cheek and growled, “Good boy. Obviously they wired you right.” He softly moaned your name, nuzzling into your warm touch. Like a reptile in a way, seeking warmth to heat their blood.

He stammered, “C-commander, can I kuh-kiss you please?” Bucky looked so pretty like this, your favorite strung out with need. For you. Leaning down your body pressed against his, full breasts pleasantly plastered to his huge chest. His artificial breathing ramped up, hands trembling at his sides.

“You can touch me Bucky, I forgive you, but don’t hide any secrets like that again.”

He pursed his lips, hands eagerly roaming your curves, tender and gentle. You tilted his head and chastely pressed your dry lips to his own, hand possessively holding a sharp jaw, thumb pressed up under on a pulsing vein. The brunette groaned into your mouth, a strangled attempt at your name. You took the chance to lap into his maw, lips sliding wetly.

You gently made contact with his tongue, Bucky jolting. Sensitive creatures. You chased it down again, your sweet boy whining through his nose as tongues tangled lethargically. His hands groped at you harder, massaging the softness of your ass. Bucky’s cock throbbed and pulsed underneath, needy.

You pulled back from his sweet lips, cooing, “You want to fuck me Bucky baby? Being such a good boy, getting me out of that death trap. Being loyal,” he whimpered again as your thumb played with his red lips.

“Please, I’ll be yours forever,” he promised. Deep in your heart and the hardwiring, you knew he meant it. Your own flesh and blood chest constricted at the strange emotions. You ran your fingers through soft hair and instructed for him to get on top. That was done easily with his impressive strength, Bucky now slotted between your thighs.

He closed his eyes again, slowing haphazard breath. You circled your thumbs into his hips, cooing, “Take your time, slow and steady Bucky. No rush.” He opened his eyes, blue orbs focused on your breasts, mouth coming down to suckle. He writhed and whimpered around your buds, making your cunt grow wetter and wetter. Greedy mismatched hands squeezed and played with the flesh, like he couldn’t get enough.

His began to slide against your slick heat, drawing the robot out of his reverie with a sharp cry. The brunette babbled, “Commander, ah, mmh, commander, lemme fuck you now, I- I’ll do my best.” You smiled gently, tugging on long locks, “I know, ready when you are.”

His wet lips gasped against your neck, the blunt head of his cock opening you up slowly. Your legs wrapped around his waist, heated from your own body. You laughed breathlessly, “Really though— they didn’t have to give you such a pretty cock.” Bucky smiled, open mouthed as he slid ever deeper into your cunt. He groaned, “I’m so- hngh- fuckin’ glad they did.”

He bottomed out inside your silky walls, flexing and pulling at Bucky’s most sensitive synth-skin. Cradling your hands in his hair you tugged again, breathing against him, foreheads pushed together. The robot’s hands held tight at your thighs while he began to slide back and forth.

Stuttering breaths intermingled as he grew more confident, picking up the pace of the fucking, your slick pussy entrancing him. You idly wondered if robots even could reach climax, if they’re like a fuck toy. Bucky moaned, “I’ll cum really fast if you think like that so more.” You kissed him desperately, laughing again.

The cot beneath you creaked as he thrust, tip of his cock making a toe-curling drag from your cervix all the way down the soft roof of your cunt. You gripped Bucky’s hair harder, moaning his name, growing higher in pitch on each push of his hips. One of your hands clawed at his back, blue blood reaching the surface.

He nipped at your jaw and your noses crashed together as Bucky took your mouth, feral with need. Trim hips and heavy balls clapped against your softer body, the slick noises of your pussy growing embarrassingly loud. Throwing your head back you cried, “Oh fuck- yes- right there! Good!”

Bucky had angled your hips to strike deeper into your sensitive walls, panting and grunting with effort. His chest dragged along your own, him whining, “Feel s’good, what can I do, is this good?” You nodded in disjointed jerks, moving the silver hand to your swollen bud.

“Suh-fuck-circles, tight, baby, yeah like that,” you instructed him in a tight whine, Bucky sucking his fat bottom lip under white teeth at your body reacting. You squirmed around him, tightening up, the robot returning to fucking you and roughly thumbing your clit as told.

You whined and begged, “Don’t stop, doing so good, kiss me baby, kiss me.” Desperately pulling Bucky’s moaning mouth to your own you licked into his mouth, lips colliding sporadically, your baby nipping at your lip. The pair of you cried eachother’s names wetly, bodies seizing up as climax overtook the senses.

You clamped down on him, clawing his back again, whining. Bucky’s hands tightened to the point of pain, him grunting and moaning as he peaked, cock pulsing and swelling. He whimpered, “Oh fucking hell, I love you.” You pretended to not hear it and kept attempting to kiss him as the orgasm crashed and subsided like a wave.

In the wake, Bucky leaned back onto his haunches, cock sliding out with a slick noise. He pet your thighs, apologizing, “I- uh- didn’t mean to say that.” His cheeks were dark with that synthetic blood, eyes watery with embarrassment. You leaned up with a hiss, cradling his face.

“Look at me.”

He reluctantly did.

“After all of this, I think I love you too. Always were my favorite. We need eachother now. More than ever.”

His shoulders slumped with relief, seeking another kiss, this one short but meaningful. You sighed, “Fuck, I need to send that message, c’mon let’s get dressed.” He nodded shortly, helping you up. Bucky shooed your hands and murmured, “Let me.”

The brunette helped you back into underwear and your uniform, leaving the armor scattered around. You helped him do the same and limped to the pilots seat. Dialing the base radio code you cleared your through and spoke, “This is Commander Alpha 5, I have evacuated the revolt on XE-2A. My team is missing, A3-54 was the defective and is dead. We have it’s body for study. BU-19 remained compliant and has accompanied me. I also have the body of Commander Alpha 4, Brock Rumlow. We expect to arrive within an Earth rotation.”

You sat back with a sigh, waiting for a reply. The radio crackled and a voice returned.

“Thank you Commander Alpha 5, you have done good work. We will be expecting your safe arrival. Signing off.”

You didn’t expect to be greeted by the CEO himself in a tiny office at the base. Space floated on outside a thick window. Bucky sat next to you, arms chained. Alexander Pierce commended you and then his face turned eerily serious. Two guards stood silent behind you.

He murmured, “What happened on XE-2A was unprecedented. But from our failures we find new research. You and BU-18 will need to be studied for some time. This…partnership…established between the pair of you is magnificent.”

You shared a look with Bucky. Atleast you’d be with him for experimentation. You assented, “Thank you sir, I am in support of anything for Pierce Corp.” 

He smiled, “Good,” his eyes flicked to the back, “Ready the chairs for them.”

[littlegodzilla]

Hi!! Here I am with another chapter for this story.

Want to say that I'm re watching the whole serie to refresh my mind but I don't remember all the situations, so sorry if I mix things or I don't write some stuff, or something like that, hope nobody will be upset for that.

Enjoy the chapter!

***************************

Our Story.

Daryl Dixon x Wife / Daryl Dixon x Reader.

Part 8.

Masterlist

Warnings: Archery lessons. Death. TWD violence and gore. Fire. Slow burn. Fluff moments. Daryl being cute and protective.

Words: 4000

Summary: all is gone, Dale, Randal, the farm... but you all have to keep moving. Memories come back and Daryl and you have a little chat.

********************

Chapter 8. Fire. All gone.

The arrow curves through the air, travels at full speed and sticks into the top of the straw bale. Sophia smiles proudly at her mother, and Carol seems thrilled to have achieved an almost accurate shot.

The bows are rudimentary, their shape is not the prettiest or most elaborate, but they are effective, they have some deflection and the arrows are not perfect either, but you are learning to use them correctly, to correct that slant and get them right where you want them to go.

You've done a great job with them, after Hershel lent you the tools for it. It keeps you away from everything that's going on with the group, with Randal, Rick and Shane have come back with it, not only that, they've come back full of bumps and bruises. Everything is spiraling out of control and no one seems to notice or no one wants to notice.

"Why are we still putting up with Shane?" you growl as you eat the scrambled eggs Carol has prepared.

"He's part of the group, I guess." She shrugs, Carol. "They're just trying to protect us, do the right thing."

"Yeah...especially him." You mutter with some hatred, but you'd rather ignore the subject, talking about Shane always makes you uneasy.

When you finish eating, you gather your things, the kids are enjoying their new entertainment so you grab your backpack again and head towards the haystack where Randal is locked up again. It is possible that he is a hostage, but he doesn't necessarily have to have an infection due to the beatings and the wounds from the handcuffs. You open the door to find him trembling. His eyes look at you with fear, but you try to move calmly and slowly.

"I'm going to treat your wounds, you don't have to be afraid."

"No one's been very nice since I got here..." He mumbles but lets you look at his wounds.

"Sorry about that." You sigh looking at the marks on his wrists. "You shouldn't try to run away... it will be much worse..."

"Worse than dying at the hands of that psycho? He attacked his own partner... and here I thought I had problems in my group."

"Are you talking about Shane?" you look sideways at him. "Rick won't let him get away with it. Rick's a good man." You assure him as you finish treating his hands.

But everything is rushed without anyone being able to prevent what was going to happen. Rick decides to sacrifice Randal, there is no certainty that he won't warn his people, they are dangerous, the group has suffered enough, you weren't at the meeting, Carol tells you later, you see Dale who doesn't agree, neither do you, even Andrea seems to doubt a little, but Dale is dejected, he doesn't give credit to what is going to happen.

Rick is unable to kill Randal and Dale is dead. A walker that no one expected, has come too close to the farm and attacked the man. Andrea is in tears, Daryl ends the man's suffering, as Rick does not acknowledge what has just happened.

But that's not all, due to the shock of Dale's death, everyone has let their guard down a bit, forgetting about the world outside. And Randal has escaped, or so it seems, because Shane isn't there either.

"Do you think Shane...?" You start to ask when you hear the man's voice come out of the woods, his face is bloody and his nose is broken.

"Rick! He ran off and took my gun!"

"Where?" Rick asks going towards Shane.

"The woods, come with me, I'll take you to it."

"Daryl, Glenn." Rick calls out to them. "Come on and we'll split up, so we'll cover more ground.

"No..." You can't help but panic, holding Daryl's arm to keep him from going.

"Stay with the kids." He tells you, squeezing your hand. "We have to find Randal."

"Be very careful, please..." You ask him and he nods before going with Glenn and Rick, getting lost in the trees.

Getting back to the house has you trembling, you trust Daryl, you trust Glenn, you trust Rick even, but your stomach is tight and your heart is cramped. You're scared, you're afraid something will go wrong and someone won't come back.

"What happened?" Lori asks.

"Randal ran away, attacked Shane...the guys are out looking for him."

"But?" the woman insists. "He attacked Shane and they went looking for him...but?"

"N-nothing... that's all I know." You shrug, just because you can't stand Shane doesn't mean you have to worry others with your paranoia.

"Do you think Randal could be dangerous?"

"Of course not, he's just a kid, plus he's lame, if he's smart he'll run away and not look back." Something inside you prays that's the case.

"Let's hope it's true and we never hear from him again..."

It's sunset when Daryl and Glenn return, you feel your heart beating normally again and you're glad to see both of them.

"Where's Rick?"

"I don't know, we got separated. We found Randal, his neck had been broken..."

"You're implying that someone..." Lori starts to say.

"Shane was the only one who knew where Randal was, he led us there and then left alone with Rick..." he replies and swallows.

"Randal had transformed, he had no bites, just the broken neck." Glenn says getting everyone's attention.

"We have to find Rick, he can't be out there alone with Shane, he's dangerous." Says Hershel.

You all set off, Beth and Patricia stay in the house with the kids so nothing happens to them. You head out into the field to go in search of the two men when you hear a gunshot in the distance.

"What was that?" you gasp looking around.

"I dunno, but I dun like the sound of it..." Daryl growls.

"Look at that!" Glenn shouts and then you see a huge number of dead heading towards the farm.

"Oh shit, get back in the house!" shouts Daryl and pulls you, running towards the porch where the others are.

"What are we going to do? If those creatures get near the house they'll tear it apart!" shouts Maggie.

"We have to go!" You insist. "Now that they're still far away! We'll get our stuff and go!"

"We can't leave without Rick and Shane!" T-Dog says.

"Has anyone seen Carl?" comes Lori out of the house with a look of terror on her face. "He was here with us and all of a sudden..."

"Shit..." You gasp looking around. "Carl!"

"Let's go get the kid!" Daryl barks. "Get the guns!" He indicates to the others as he reloads the crossbow and fires a new arrow. "Let's go." He looks at you with intensity and you nod your head.

"Gather everything you can! Fill up the cars and get ready to get out of here as soon as we're done!"

Fear is your worst enemy, much more so than the dead that are approaching the farmhouse. The thought of getting separated, of losing someone else, of losing one of the children is what makes you careless, terrified that you won't be able to run away. Frantically you gather everything at the same time that you shoot all the beings that come too close, that are a threat. The van and Hershel's car end up full when you see the barn burst into flames. You freeze for a second, watching the place go up in flames, the flames, the heat, the sound of the fire crackling and the wood creaking draws the attention of the dead who start walking straight there, which gives you time to organize yourselves again. Jimmy takes the trailer to go find Rick and Carl who are still in the barn. T-dog takes Merle's old van to take Lori and Andrea. Beth fights with Patricia against a walker that has grabbed her.

"We can't do anything, Beth, come on!" you yell getting her to let go and get her in the van too.

You all move quickly when you hear screams in the distance. Carol is being cornered by a group and although she is defending herself, there are too many of them. You jump out of the van grabbing your bow. You're not going to let anything happen to her. Without thinking you shoot several arrows. Andrea also runs to help her and when Carol reaches the vehicle you see a walker fall on the blonde.

"No!" you shout desperately wanting to go to her aid. "Take them away, T-Dog!" You shout picking up another arrow from the ground and launching it at another walker.

The man obeys, the wheels of the old truck screech and they drive away leaving you behind. You don't care, you run to help Andrea, picking up and launching the arrows you find on your way. But you don't get too far. A larger group gets in your way and you have to stop abruptly. You take a quick breath, looking around you, you have no arrows left and the last one you pick up from the ground is broken. You scream as one of the Walkers jumps at you, you struggle with him until you manage to pull your knife from your belt and plunge it into his head. You push the falling body to the ground and run off in another direction, looking for the entrance to the farm, looking for the road to follow your companions.

*****************

Daryl starts the bike once more, stays behind, watching the cars drive away, shoots several Walkers who get too close, attracted by the engine noise, but he doesn't want anyone to be left behind. He can't afford to lose anyone else, again.

Suddenly he sees something running towards the dirt road leading out of the farm. He doesn't need to look twice to realize it's you, running as fast as your legs will carry you, dodging death at your heels. 

"Fuck!" He barks, accelerating at full speed, coming straight for you.

You don't really think about it. When you hear the motorcycle's engine you search for his position with your eyes, you see Daryl approaching from your left and you thank Heaven for that. Daryl stops the bike for only a second before you jump right behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. He accelerates again away from the spot down the dirt road, you are unable to let go, your face pressed against his leather vest, you feel your whole body shaking and it's not due to the vibration of the engine. You're shaking from fear, from believing you've lost everything, you've lost everything again, really, but Daryl's body against yours is real, it's alive, and you feel alive and safe and you feel like it's not so bad, somehow.

You open your eyes as you feel the bike stop, as Daryl stops the engine and gets off. You take a deep breath trying to calm all your emotions. You get off the bike too, rubbing your hands against your pants, rubbing your arms. Daryl comes towards you with a determined stride.

"Yer okay?" he asks you. "Scratches? Bites?"

"I-I... Andrea... I tried to..."

"Ain't talkin' 'bout Andrea." He shushes you. "Did ya get bitten? Did ya get hit?" his voice sounds nervous, shaky, his hands tighten on your shoulders and he shakes your body. "Focus!" He yells at you and you both open your eyes wide.

He has used her name. He has called you like her. Your sister.

His hands release you as he steps back several paces, lowering his head, feeling ashamed of what he has done. You have tears in your eyes, but you fight them back and shake your head.

"I-I'm sorry..." He whispers fidgeting nervously.

"It's okay..." You speak in his same tone. "I'm fine. I haven't been bitten, barely touched." You try to calm him down. He nods his head. "We should keep going... Find the others."

"Yeah, I think I saw Glenn's car a little ways up ahead. Let's follow them." 

 Without another word you both get on the bike without another word. This time you hold onto the back of your seat, avoiding contact with Daryl, but being steady as he steers the bike down the dirt road. You still feel your skin bristle and your heart pounding violently inside your chest. You know Daryl didn't do it on purpose, that it was a reflex action due to panic, but that he mistook you for your sister makes you feel strange, on the other hand you are glad to know that he still remembers her.

It is dawn when you arrive at the highway, where there are several cars stopped and from them the rest of the group gets out. Your heart starts pounding again, joy overcomes you to see them safe. You are not all of them, you have lost Patricia, Jimmy and Andrea, not only that Shane has tried to kill Rick and Rick has killed him. But you are still in doubt as to why Randal rose as a Walker after Shane killed him.

"We're all infected." Rick says. "I don't know how or why, but we'll all turn if we die... Jenner told me." 

A new bombshell drops on the group. You will all become those things sooner or later. The idea is terrifying, but Rick doesn't give you much choice, if you want to leave, you can, but if not, you're all in this together, he'll make the decisions, he's the leader and there's nothing more to discuss about it.

You have to admit that it is a drastic and authoritarian decision, but Rick does not want to lose anyone else, Lori is pregnant and you will need a safe place for her to give birth when the time comes, besides everyone's own safety. So you grab all the supplies you can, fill up all the tanks and set off again. Rick, Lori, Carl Carol and Sophia go in one car, T Dog with Hershel and Beth go in another car, Glenn and Maggie go on their own, the loving couple need their space. You go to get in the car with Hershel and the others, there's plenty of room, when you feel Daryl hold your hand, you look at him sideways, frowning.

"Still afraid of motorcycles?" He jokes without letting go of your hand.

"Want me to ride with you?" He shakes his shoulders and you feel his thumb caress your hand. "Okay."

It's true, you've never liked riding motorcycles, never felt them too safe, but you trust Daryl, as you have all your life, truth be told. You climb up behind him, hold onto his waist again, and he pulls in front of the group, picking his way through the wreckage of the cars, finding a safe path for them all to pass without jeopardizing the already somewhat precarious situation of the cars.

************

You have been traveling for days, back and forth, trying to find a safe place again like the farm, but everything is looted, destroyed, or the hordes of dead prevent you from passing. It's exasperating.

And to top it off, the gas is starting to run out, you are in the middle of nowhere, the nearest gas station is about an hour away on foot.

Without a doubt, life is a bitch.

"We'll spend the night here. Tomorrow morning we'll go get more gas." Rick says.

"In the middle of nowhere?" They question. "It's too cold, Rick..."

"We'll get some wood, build a fire, but it's going to get dark soon and we can't move around in the dark."

"I'll go get something to eat." Daryl says grabbing his crossbow after you set up the new camp among some ruins on the side of the road.

"I'm coming with you." You tell him, standing up and grabbing your bow.

He doesn't put up any resistance, just stands there waiting for you to gather your things to go with him. You make your way through the forest, away from the small camp you have set up.

You don't speak, you keep your pace slow and silent, any sound could alert your prey or make you the prey of others. The weather in Georgia has been very bad, starting to get really cold, you have had strong winds that have almost not let you move forward on the road, the rains have flooded some sections forcing you to turn around or go back to the main roads, luckily none of you have fallen ill, some cold, but nothing serious that should have worried you. Even so, food is scarce due to the cold, some animals have moved away to warmer places, others are being chased and eaten by the dead. Hunting has become a real challenge.

But Daryl always finds new prey.

The hiss of his arrow breaks your thoughts causing you to raise your head to see that he has managed to catch an absent-minded squirrel that scampered along a tree trunk, but never made it to its destination. It's not a delicacy, but you hope it has enough meat on it to at least feed Lori. You hear the rattle over your head. Carefully you take aim with your bow and fire, another squirrel falls to the ground pierced by your arrow.

"Good shot." You hear Daryl and smile proudly.

"Call me Ygritte." You joke, lifting your chest proudly.

"Who?" he looks at you confused, picking up the two squirrels, tying them to his belt.

You open your mouth in surprise and offense, ready to retort, but before you can say anything, you suddenly fall face first to the ground. Daryl is startled, screaming your name as he comes running towards you. You sit up, your face full of dirt and some leaves. You can't help it, it's superior to you, you burst out laughing, loud guffaws escaping between your hands, as you tremble.

"W-what the fuck, are ya crazy?" gasps Daryl, but he feels your laughter rubbing off on him, smiling.

You have stumbled. After all you've been through, the dead, the running from place to place, the fights with other survivors, looking for food, surviving. You've tripped over a stone the size of a walnut and fallen flat on your face as if you were a baby learning to walk. Your laughter is hysterical, scared, nervous and at the same time embarrassed. You are going through so much that your body doesn't know how to handle it anymore and that uncontrolled laughter is a product of that stress.

Daryl kneels down next to you to check that you're okay, wipes your face with the handkerchief in his back pocket and you regain your composure, slowly stopping laughing.

"Thank you..." You whisper still escaping some giggles.

"Ya scared the shit out of me, I thought..." He falls silent, but looks at you with intensity. You both know what he means.

He thought it happened to you like it did to your sister.

You sigh and sit up slowly, then, after all these days, he notices a pendant hanging from your neck. He swallows hard, raises his hand and holds the small locket. You don't move, looking at him out of the corner of your eye. It is a small heart-shaped locket, with a beautiful hand-drawn design, on the outside it bears the ornament of a blue orb and a feather. Small details that only you both understand its meaning.

"Ya still keep it..."

"Of course. My mother gave it to me when they came to see us in town." You shrug. "She told me it was a gift from you."

"The truth is, I thought ya would have thrown it away as soon as she had given it to ya... or that she would never have gotten around to giving it to ya..." He confesses, lowering his gaze.

"Daryl, she adored you, she knew you were going through a bad time, that it wasn't your fault. She wasn't mad at you." You assure him and smile.

He holds your pendant, looks sideways at you, silently asking for your permission. You nod and let Daryl open the locket. He presses the button leaving the heart broken in half, with trembling fingers he opens the locket fully and his breathing stops. You continue to stare at him, watching his every facial expression, his every reaction. You see his eyes glisten and he blinks to hold back tears.

Inside the locket is a photo. Him, your sister and you. One of many your sister took when you were in the secret place.

Daryl feels his throat burning because he's holding back a whimper, he swallows several times before stroking the photo with his thumb. His mind traveling a mile a minute, taking him back to those days.

"I thought it would be a picture of Michael." He says sincerely.

Yes, that would have been another option, you loved Michael with all your being. He would always be important to you and would always be in your heart. But this was different, your sister and Daryl had been a part of most of your life, they were two of the most important people you loved the most and you always felt you had lost them both, so you decided to put that picture up, cut it out and put it on the necklace with all the care in the world.

"I still miss her, you know?" You confess to him, looking at him, you feel his gaze fall on you too. "Sometimes I can't help thinking about her, imagining her in this world..." You smile and your eyes fill with tears. "She would have made a hell of a warrior, quite the survivor." You sniffle through your nose, see that Daryl has lowered his head, but nods. "She would have kicked more than one of them in the balls." You joke and see Daryl's body shake in dry laughter.

"I miss her too." He confesses. "There are still times when I wish I could open my eyes and be home again, with her, with the smell of freshly brewed coffee flooding everything." Her voice sounds choked and he shakes his head trying to collect himself, his blue irises glistening with tears. "Sometimes I still dream about her... and it hurts so much..."

He breaks down, you watch as he holds the bridge of his nose to keep from crying, you lean into him and hug him, remembering that time in the hospital, when you two said goodbye to your sister for the last time. You cradle him in your arms and he hugs you tightly, clinging to you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

"I think it was her... that made us meet again." You keep talking. "I think she would have wanted us to... stay friends, family..." You say and Daryl breaks away a little to look at you, his thumb sweeping away one of your tears.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry for everything I said to you that day, I'm sorry for how I behaved with you I... I was an asshole, I was broken, I didn't know what to do, I just wanted it to stop hurting and..."

"Okay, stop it." You shush him, raising a hand to calm him down. "That was a long time ago, I shouldn't have said everything I said to you that day at the farm either..." You smile and kiss him on the cheek, Daryl lets you do it even though he's always had a hard time accepting displays of affection. "So we're even; we're starting from scratch."

"Okay." He nods and smiles a little, biting his lip a few times.

"Okay, now let's go see if we can find something else to eat or the atmosphere will get worse."

You both pick yourselves up off the ground, you feel your knees sore from the blow, but you have to keep going, you have people to take care of and find a place to settle down more definitively.

*********

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To be Continued.

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Hope you liked it!

See you in the next chapters!!

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Taglist: @green-eyedladywrites @minervadashwood @livingdeadblondequeen @bringinsexybackk69

[swifty-fox]

okay so I’m not going to go into any details here but I just finished “what comes after” and oh. my. god. you captured the feelings of the person on the other end perfectly.

for me it wasn’t anyone as close as a husband, and I wasn’t there to see it, but they texted me one evening and I swear I just knew. and I knew they were in a pretty bad place, but I don’t think anyone had realized just how bad, and I have so many mixed feelings about all of it? And you somehow managed to write that and make it so tragic and so beautiful and. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say here. I guess I just wanted to say thank you? Thank you for treating the subject so delicately and so fairly and thank you for adding the part about Curt and how he’s there to help and I know it’s “just” fanfiction, but I need you to know how much of an impact it had on me.

so. yeah. thank you. and I’m sorry to spring this on you just like this (if it makes you uncomfortable I’m so sorry! please don’t feel like you have to respond!), I swear I’m not saying any of this to make you feel bad for me or anything. my friend is in a much better place and everything is okay. call this the incoherent ramblings of a person who should’ve gone to bed hours ago now. thank you. thank you thank you thank you thank you <3

theres three experiences in my life I pulled from for this fic

my little brother has been to a psych ward three times in my life, two in the last two years. The second time (March 2023) he called me the day before in great spirits and laughing about a childhood memory. Next day I receive a call that He's going to the hospital, drugs were involved but nobody knew anything more because he's an adult. We heard no news, couldn't contact him for Three Days. We had no idea what happened or how bad things were.

In the aftermath my baby sister and I had to drive into the city to pick his car up and bring it to my parents. She's a freshman in college and was too young to really remember my brothers first time in (I was twenty and she was twelve) and so I had to be the older sibling and tell her to rely on me. To brace herself that this probably would not be the end of the storyline with his mental health issues and she had to make peace with it and to protect herself how she could while still being there for him. I had to put my shit aside for my her and my mom and my dad. Had to be Gale.

At the same time I was fresh off a devastating breakup. I reached out that night to the ex because I thought we were still friends and got brushed off. While driving to get that damn car all i wanted was what my brain thought was my ride or die support system to be there helping me through this. All i wanted was a Curt and I didn't have one. So i gave Gale what i needed via Curt. Someone to pick up the pieces.

My grandmother passed away due to complications from colon cancer in 2020. She came down with an infection that ate away her intestines to nothing in the span of a weekend. I sat on the phone with her six states away as she lay dying on her bathroom floor. My Grandma who was my best friend my namesake wordlessly crying in my ear from pain. And I just remember thinking nobody fucking gave me the instruction manual for this. I went to bed once the ambulance came, thinking she would be okay. And by the time I woke up she was gone. And I've worked my feelings of that out through a previous fic but I definitely reached back into that experience to remember that headspace

I've been on both ends. I almost ended my life several times last year and I'm really fuckin glad I didn't cause I am having so much fun with you guys

[fernaldoishere]

Some more stuff I've been working on! Been struggling with art block, but I'm getting back into it! Might start making shitposts again

But, there's been some changes with the story, as you can probably tell with Olivia Octavius being here. It's not much, just really because I actually started developing the story a bit more!

So for starters, these three siblings come from an alternate dimension of Miles' dimension, being his descendants. So, hundreds of years ago, scientists were experimenting on symbiotes, cloning them and doing inhumane testing with them. Eventually, due to people being money hungry and failing to implement basic safety precautions, the symbiote, who were mutated beyond recognition, had escaped, plaguing the world with a new pandemic, causing the world to go into chaos. The government decided to just nuke areas that were most infected by the symbiotes, but it didn't work, forcing the remaining humans to hide underground. Miles himself ended up dying fighting the symbiotes, but his children managed to get away because of him. Hundreds of years later, the three siblings were born, no one knowing of their powers. Though when their burrow suddenly collapses and is overrun by symbiotes, their parents try to protect them. Tyrell watched their mom, who was a Spider-Person, get murdered by a symbiote after his arm was torn off, Tyrell still managing to get him and his siblings into the emergency escape room, their dad being nowhere to be seen.

Now as for Olivia Octavius, her stuff is still a huge work in progress. Olivia was trying to find a cure or rather the weaknesses of these mutated symbiotes, upgrading her body parts to try to stay alive as long as possible. She would also put herself into cryogenic sleep (Or something similar to it) to stay alive even longer, going completely mad over time, especially when her lab partner, Jonathan died, leaving her all alone in that bunker. After a bunch of symbiotes finally found where she was, they tried to break in, causing Olivia to put herself to sleep once more without taking any precautions, leading her to be put away for a couple hundred years until the three siblings stumbled into the bunker, Kendrick accidentally waking her up, Olivia thinking that Kendrick was Miles (trauma ensues)

[pupintransit]

I'll be real with you, this has been a rough couple of weeks.

A general theme with what I write about is not romanticizing gender affirming surgery. Yes I feel better about what I see in the mirror, and I vastly prefer how my vulva feels on my fingertips over my penis and testes, but that doesn't mean everything has been a positive experience. Quite the opposite in fact! You can research and mentally prepare for the pain and agony all you want, but nothing can truly prepare you for actually going through the motions.

We'll start off with what's been most pressing on my mind. I can't cum. Oh sure, masturbation feels better and I'm sure I'm still physically capable of climaxing, but I can't seem to get there. It's... troubling to say the least. Folks I know who had surgery at the same time as me or after, with the same surgeon mind you, have already climaxed at least once before. When's my turn? Who knows! What I do know is that my clit hurts if I don't touch it right and I have too much irritated tissue at the front of my canal to feel comfortable trying dildos or vibrators. I suppose I should be optimistic that I had sensation as early as week 5, but that doesn't necessary help my mood at all.

Instinctively I know that everyone heals at different rates, and maybe if I try to cum with penetration rather than my clit I'll actually get there. I"ll be seeing my nurse later this week so I'll be able to quiz her about if my clit is ready for showtime yet, and if it's safe to try sex toys. But this goes back to understanding something academically vs. viscerally. I am going through the motions of healing, I knew that regaining sexually function would be a challenge and I was ok with that pre-op. I'm less ok with it post-op. It's hard to internalize being patient with myself, but it's really easy to internalize that I'm falling behind in my healing. My old therapist would be furious with me.

Next problem? I have a UTI. Again. As in, not even two weeks after my last one. You ever have the urge to piss battery acid every fortnight? Then I wouldn't suggest contracting UTIs. I don't 100% know how I got the things but I have a few theories, and from now until the end of time I'm gonna stock my fridge with cranberry juice. What's extra fun is that this most recent UTI happen the week after my infected hematoma finally cleared up. If we include the meds i left the hospital with, this is the 4th course of antibiotics I've been on since my surgery. I'm just shy of seven weeks post-op, so this is averaging about one infection on my genitals every two weeks. And they fucking hurt.

Oh also i can't sit down for longer than 45 minutes before i start to fiercely ache. That's not due to the UTI, it's my stupid ass body healing slower than a star dying out.

Folks, if you're considering lower surgery then I'd urge you to plan for post-operative depression and gather a support network to help you through how you're feeling. This kind of regretful feeling is normal, and despite everything I've done to prepare for it and counteract it I've still found myself in the thick of it. My cock and balls never hurt like this, never got infected. I seldom had difficulty orgasming. I catch myself wanting to rewind time and stop myself from doing this every few days. I truthfully don't miss having those body parts but I miss not hurting all the time, and it's difficult to separate those concepts. You'll probably go through similar emotions if you decide to do this too, but you'll be ok in the end. Stay strong, keep realistic expectations, and lean on your support networks.

And once you do come back and tell me what your secret is because i have really been struggling to do all that.

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Darling and absolutely evil Phanie said they wanted the ending where sick Ron dies? Well here it is.

@aki-draws-things

Tw major character death! (Turned into all three of them dying…)

I’m no medical expert idk if the sickness I give Ron is even possible. Sooo take a little bit of non reality juice and have fun reading.

(You should know I cried while writing this.)

Lung infection that moved to the blood.

The doctors say he might not wake back up.

Tom left when they were told.

Chris just held onto Ron tighter.

That was hours ago.

Chris has cried so much he has no more tears. He feels a light tug to his hand. He shoots up to see Ron’s eyes open. “Hey pretty boy.”

Oh Chris was so wrong. He’s got lots of tears left. They’re starting right now. “Hey baby.”

“You’ve gotta take care of Tom. I since can’t. I know this sucks. It’s horrible. But it’ll be okay. You two have each other and Jake. Just remember to be patient. God Chris I’m so sorry.”

Chris lunges forward. He can’t stop himself, he grabs Ron into a hug. Can’t even kiss Ron due to the fear of it catching. “Stop it. You’re gonna be fine.”

Ron shakily brings a hand up to Chris’s back. “You’re not stupid baby. We both know this doesn’t get better. Now.” Ron shifts up a little with a serious look in his eyes. “I love you. But I need you to not die along with me. I love you more then anything but you’ve gotta live. Gotta get married to Tom if it’s allowed later. Gotta be the incredible dad to Jake you already are.”

Chris is sobbing. He’s got his hands curled in Ron’s hospital gown. “Please-”

Ron kisses his head. “No. I know you. You know I’m right. I’m dying. It’s okay. I’ll watch the three of you forever. Be happy with Tom.”

Chris nods. “Promise me.”

Chris shakes. “I can’t.” Ron squeezes his arm. “Promise.” Chris let’s out another sob. “Okay. I promise.”

Ron relaxes slightly, leans back into the pillows. “Good. I love you so much.” Chris decides he doesn’t care. He kisses Ron. Can’t live without doing it one final time. “I’ll love you forever.” Ron smiles at him. “Can you get Tommy? Wanna talk to him.”

Chris doesn’t have the heart to tell Ron he ran. “Course. I’ll be right back.”

When he goes to find a pay phone he almost trips over Tom. Tom who’s sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. “He wants to see me?” Chris goes on his knees. “Yeah. I’m gonna get Jake so he can say bye.” Tom shudders.

-

“Hey baby.”

Tom sits on the bed. He hesitates before curling next to Ron. “We need to talk.”

Tom shakes. “Alright.”

Ron looks down at him, he presses a kiss to Tom’s head before starting. “I’ve known you for years. I hate that I’m leaving you like this. Shouldn’t be this way but it’s happening. You can’t follow me to an early grave. It would kill Chris and Jake. Gotta stay with them. I know it’ll hurt. But you have to stay.”

Tom is gripping Ron’s arm so hard he’s afraid he’s going to break skin. “Stop. Stop it right now.”

“You’re brilliant. I’ve loved you since I was 13. That’s never going to change. You’ll always have me. Because I’ll be gone but I’ll watch all of you. I love you so much Tommy.”

Tom sobs. He spins around to look at Ron. He kisses Ron. Can’t help himself. “I don’t know how to live without you.” Ron brushes the hair out of his face. “It won’t be easy. But you’ll do it. Manage until you join me. But you’ve gotta love Chris as much as you love me.”

Tom so very gently smacks Ron. “I already do, I’d do anything for him and Jake. I just don’t know how to live without you.”

Ron shrugs. “We never thought we would need to. But you can do it. Marry Chris. Be the incredible dad to Jake. Be an incredible leader. I’ll be there watching. I’m so proud of you. I love you more then you’ll ever know.”

There’s a sob before an answer. “Fuck Ron I love you too. I’ll love you until I see you again.”

There’s a knock on the door. Chris leans his head in. “Can Jake and I come in?”

Ron smiles. “Course. I’ll always see my chickie.”

The small blond child races over to the bed. Jake climbs up. “Papa? You’re dying aren’t you.”

Ron nods. He watches as Chris and Tom hold each other behind Jake. “But it’ll be okay baby. Your dads love you more then you’ll ever be able to know. You’ve gotta know I love you more then anything. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You made me a dad.” Ron cries for the first time that day. God he wishes he wasn’t leaving them. But he can’t stop the slow drag he feels.

“You be the best at whatever you want to do Jake. I’ll be watching. I’ll be there every step of the way. You’ll never be alone.”

Jake is crying. He doesn’t want his papa to go.

“But why can’t you stay.” Ron wipes Jake’s tears away. “Because I’ve done all I can here. I’ve gotta watch you from somewhere else now. Gonna love you forever and be there for everything.”

Chris is turned away. His hands are covering his mouth. He can’t watch this. Can’t watch Ron tell their kid he’s never coming home. He sobs.

Tom isn’t much better. He’s still watching. Knows how bad this is going to be.

“Papa can I sleep with you.”

Ron knows if he says yes he’s not waking back up. He used all that was left for these conversations. “Course Chickie. But you’ve gotta promise you know I love you.” Jake sniffs. “Course I know you love me. I love you!” Ron smiles at him. He pulls Jake closer and looks at Chris and Tom.

“I love you both. Thank you for the best life I could’ve ever dreamed up.” They both come over to the bed. They curl up on either side. “Love you Ron.” “Love you baby.”

—

He died three hours later.

Jake has to be pulled away.

Chris can’t cry.

Tom is uncontrollably sobbing.

—

When they all go home Jake sleeps in their bed for the rest of the summer. Tom promises to never fly again. He can’t. Won’t let himself. Chris refuses to go into fires. He quits his job, David follows right along with him.

-

When Jake joins the navy they’re so proud. But they know he did it for his papa not for himself. He loves planes. Desperately needs to be close to what his father did.

-

When gay marriage is legal they get married. They can’t stop crying. The court thinks it’s because they’re so happy. It’s really because there should be another man standing there.

-

Tom and Chris go to Ron’s grave every month.

He’s not actually buried there. Was cremated, they all wear necklaces with his ashes.

It’s been a long horrible few years. Chris got diagnosed with lung cancer. Fighting fires really fucks your lungs up. Tom is forgetting more and more.

Jake lost his leg in a plane crash. He retired early. Takes care of the two kids he has with Bradley.

They sit on the ground with their backs pressed against the grave. They’re holding hands.

“I miss him.”

There’s a small laugh.

“I do too. Wish he was here every day.”

“Thank you for an incredible life Tom. This was a fabulous life. I love you.”

“Thank you for always believing in me. For being there when I was horrible. I love you too.”

Suddenly they see a tall guy standing there before them.

“Hey you two.”

Chris sobs. He reaches up and is picked up. “God I missed you.”

Tom stands on his own. He wraps his arms around Ron’s waist.

“We sure about leaving Jake?” “He’ll be okay. He knows it’s time for us to go.”

They walk off together to watch over their kid. Hell their grandkids.

But at least now they’re all together again.