#who does what he thinks is right and if given the chance would sacrifice himself to save the universe he saw dissolve

[vampiiric]

i loved the new spiderverse but miguel is so funny when you think about it. yes hes sad but the whole reason he's an antagonist at all is that he assumes miles is a good person and gets REALLY mad about it. like hes not wrong but he's very angry about it

[badwolfrose34]

Girl in the Fireplace Rant (cont.)

There was at least some engagement on my last post about this so I decided I will in fact post a follow up. GitF was 100% a bad faith episode. Moffat wrote it because he is classist and misogynistic and hates Rose. Unfortunately, part of his purpose for the episode was to show that the Doctor will always prefer a “classy” aristocrat over Rose and he wanted to have her treated as nothing. So, all of us Rose fans have to come up with a headcanon that undermines the writer’s intentions.

I think the most common one is to believe the episode was the Doctor’s attempts to push Rose away because of her mortality and how that scares him.

That never worked for me because a major part of the Doctor’s character is his protectiveness. He would never push her away to the point of danger or abandonment. For me, I feel that fictional or not, the actions of the Doctor in that episode would be entirely unforgivable if they did happen. So my headcanon is that this episode was a nightmare Rose had.

If you are like me are also one of the fans for whom the pushing her away theory doesn’t work, read on for my explanation of why I don’t think GitF could be an actual event within canon. Moffat may be a BBC writer but it doesn’t give him a right to completely undermine the show, it doesn’t actually belong to anyone outside of financial concerns. If you’re content with believing he needed to push Rose away and that the episode did happen, you can ignore this.

Why the events GitF did not happen within canon (but could’ve happened as a nightmare)

1. Doctor Who canon is very loose as it is. With multiple writers across multiple mediums, things do contradict each other and us as fans get to decide for ourselves what fits with canon and what does not.

2. The Doctor has been clearly shown to be in love with Rose. He is protective of her to the point that if a decision will kill everyone else but give her even a slight chance of survival, he can’t actually make that decision. He almost did in Dalek, but after she didn’t get through the barricade the first time he was incapable of significantly reducing her safety for the good of everyone else. He snapped awake from a regeneration coma just because Rose said “help me”. He freaked out when Cassandra had her body and again in Tooth and Claw when she was in trouble. If you count Stone Rose that almost certainly took place before GitF and he once again, lost his mind over Rose being a statue.

I do understand seeing Sarah Jane age freaked him out. And I could’ve understood him distancing himself from Rose a bit in some way. But his instinct to protect her is so strong he’d never sacrifice her safety to push her away. Leaving her alone with clockwork for an extended period of time while he partied and invented drinks is impossible enough. Let alone the way he believed he’d have no way back to the ship when he went through the time window for the last time. Not only had he just promised she could spend the rest of her life with him, but her and Mickey would’ve likely died alone on that abandoned spaceship.

Simply, it’s just too out of character to happen within the rest of the Ninth and Tenth Doctors’ canon.

3. The horse. I have been a big horse person my entire life. Horses have extremely strong flight instincts. Even the most trusting and well trained horse in the world is never going to jump through reinforced glass. I do realize as Sci Fi fans we have to suspend disbelief for a lot of things. But we are never given an explanation as to why this horse would behave so dramatically differently from another horse. Every bizarre thing we accept in the DW universe is explained to some extent. There is a book where the Doctor tames a horse with psychic paper. But that horse is never asked to violate its instincts. That horse behaves as any other tame horse behaves. That is an example of acceptable DW suspension of belief. There is still a sci fi/alien technical explanation and I can absorb it. I cannot absorb a horse jumping through a firm glass window unless they were running from something even scarier. No matter how well trained a horse is, it’s not jumping through glass just because a humanoid asked them to. Nothing was chasing Arthur and his body language did not suggest any kind of fear to indicate he was running from something even scarier. All the droids were already in the other side of the window as well. It’s simply bizarre and impossible, even in a sci fi snow. Within this very show the Doctor states you can’t hypnotize someone beyond their survival instincts. I believe this applies to horses and a horse’s instincts is to avoid jumping through or into a reinforced barrier.

Next, we are given no explanation as to how this horse jumped through glass unscathed. Glass that was said to be so strong only a truck could break through. Horses are also extremely delicate and many have fatally injured themselves just playing in the paddock. Even for injuries not that extreme, every horse person knows that even small things result in giant vet bills.

Finally, it is once again grossly out of character for the Doctor to take a living animal and make them do something he previously calculated would required a truck.

4. Things are back to normal as if the episode never happened by the Rise of the Cybermen. If the Doctor had really developed feelings for another woman so strong that he would leave Rose for dead, then lost her, would he just be back to being the same old Doctor the very next episode? I doubt it. The Doctor is also a character known for holding on to guilt. Even if Reinette was mechanism to push Rose away, the way he abandoned her would’ve caused enough guilt he wouldn’t just be normal the very next episode. The show carries on as if Reinette never happened because Reinette never happened.

The only reference to that GitF is some clockwork droids in John Smith’s journal. Which could be explained by another encounter with the droids or by the Doctor looking at Rose’s mind to see the nightmare. Which would be an intimate enough moment to imprint on John Smith’s subconscious. The words “a girl in every fireplace” can once again refer to the Doctor seeing Rose’s nightmare or another off screen adventure entirely. There is no reference strong enough to confirm the actual events of GitF ever happened. The show functions exactly the same way without it. Because, it never happened.

5. The events of the show make perfect sense as a nightmare in Rose’s head. Take it from someone with a degree in psychology. Rose has abandonment wounds from Jimmy Stone. She also has abandonment wounds from her father dying when she was too young to understand it. School Reunion, the episode right before GitF triggers her abandonment wounds by making her see the Doctor has previously left companions and did not come back for them. It also makes her wonder if she is special to the Doctor. These doubts combined with her past trauma are a perfect recipe for her to have a bizarre nightmare where she gets abandoned in the most horrific way after the events of School Reunion.

I will leave you all with my fic where this was all a nightmare. Or you can write your own if you prefer. My point is that for those who feel the way I do about this episode, we do not have to accept the events as canon. We do not have to believe the Doctor has ever treated Rose this way except in her worst nightmares.

Update to address Deep Breath:

1. Doctor mentioned seeing clockwork droids before, but we know that the Doctor has many off screen adventures. He could’ve encountered the droids at any other point in his entire life besides GitF.

2. As for that episode stating the SS Madame De Pompadour existed, that still doesn’t confirm anything. There was a real life ship called the USS Queen of France. This was named for Marie Antoinette. Jackie dated a sailor once and Rose had a friend named Keisha whose brother was a sailor. This means Rose could’ve heard one of them discussing historical naval ships. This how she would imagine a ship named after Madame de Pompadour in the first place. She and the people who built the SS Madame de Pompadour and SS Marie Antoinette would’ve simply drawn inspiration from the same place. Also, there’s the fact that someone named a fictional ship Titan many years before Titanic ever existed.

Update 2: Rose was going to get an A level in French if she hadn’t run off with Jimmy. So she could’ve reasonably been familiar with some aspects of French history and able to imagine all of these things in a dream, even if it wasn’t a historically accurate dream, everyone knows weird things happen in dreams.

[gay-dorito-dust]

yandere jax x reader 🙏😼‼

Warning: Jax being Jax, manipulative, bullying, just over all unhealthy yandere shit that you get from these types of fics.

This fucker has keys to your room…if that’s not already concerning to begin with, it should be considering he uses them to his advantage in invading your room, seeing if there was anything he could take without you noticing for no other reason than the fact that he just could and nobody would stop him.

You will not be given a second alone to breath, nor have quality time for yourself either his bunny is looming over you and acting like his usual asshole self, while also claiming in the same breath that he only wanted to toughen you up in the case one do the adventures you went on…goes south really fast and certain decisions would have to be made on the fly.

It’s a surprise that you haven’t abstracted from Jax’s constant pestering and brutal criticism of your character on a regular basis. He thought it would be funny to see how fast you’d break or snap back at him, give him another side of you to be equally as obsessed with them he already was.

As long as Jax was about there was no such thing as personal space, his arm was always seen linked with yours, making it impossible for you to pull away from him as he’ll always have you dragged back to his side; even on adventures Jax made sure that no one else but him can be partnered up with you because he felt as though the likes of Pomni or Ragatha would try to make you see Jax the way they see him, or keep you away from him so that he couldn’t manipulate you into staying by his side or so they believed what he was doing. (Which was true but Jax didn’t want you to realise this so soon)

So even if they managed to get to you before him, Jax would be internally fuming but would compose himself by following you and remaining silent as a mouse as he watched pomni/Ragatha for signs that they’ll try to make you go against him. So if you think you’re being watched with such intent then you’d be right but Jax can easily slink off into the shadows and hide himself from being caught.

He’s got soft footfalls, meaning that you can’t hear him coming most of the time which works in his favour in getting close to you, leaning towards your ear and going ‘boo’ making you jolt and cling onto him by impulse. However Jax will see this as you accepting him as your source of safety and allows you to cling to him however you wish, it only fuels his obsession with you to somehow and even more unhealthier extent.

But if Jax got to you first when it came to partnering up for adventures, let’s just say death or hell would’ve been more appealing then being stuck with Jax for who knows how long. He would practically be using you as shield of sorts from whatever comes your way because he could, or shoving you in front of him to make sure the way ahead wasn’t secretly boobytrapped, laughing at you when you come back to him unamused and with blow darts within your body.

‘Oh you poor thing.’ He’d mockingly say as he pats your head before walking past you, now aware of what laid ahead thanks to your forced sacrifice by his hand.He’s just not the best to be struck with during adventures, you your are in safer hands with pomni and or Ragatha, hell even Kinger in all honesty but chances of you getting paired with them are slim to none.

Jax gets jealous when you spend time with others, he hates it because you were meant to be by his side, it’s cold without you to be near him and near him you’ll stay no matter what, and it was a fact that he does get across to everyone else eventually that they just leave you with Jax; much to your dismay. If they tried to get close to you or call you over to look at something, Jax would then have his hand on your bicep, keeping you close to him as he tells whoever is asking for you attention that your sick or busy.

Any and every excuse Jax could come up with just to keep you safe and away from anyone who wasn’t him. He may act controlling and an total dickhead towards you but he claims it was for your own good and that he only did what he did because he cared about you, those words that felt odd and weird coming out of his mouth.

Jax was your shadow in every sense of the word and you can’t escape, you can never escape from Jax because he’ll eventually find you regardless and you’ll be trapped within his arms, his grip seemingly tighten every time you tried to get out of his grip and his smile somehow grew wider at your attempts.

You can run but you can’t hide from Jax, so you’re better off just staying compliant to him and wherever he required if you wanted everyone else to remain unharmed.

[ladyloveandjustice]

I watched a compilation of clips of live action Zuko scenes (mostly with Iroh) because I think the actor they chose for Zuko is great and I still think he's great, but as someone who recently binged the cartoon, it's really interesting me the way they sanded off the rough edges of Zuko's relationship with Iroh, and the way it sort of damages the characters and the plot...and it makes me think of reoccurring issues in media and how the approach characters (which is exacerbated by the fans who jump the gun and think characters doing unlikeable things or being problematic means the story endorses these thing and that it makes them bad characters)

There's an intense fear of making Zuko too "unlikeable" in the live action, and that really shows in the way they play his relationship with Iroh. In the cartoon, Zuko is honestly downright nasty to Iroh a lot of the time. He's mean! He takes out his anger on Iroh a lot! A good two thirds of their interactions in the first two seasons involve Zuko being frustrated, complaining, or even directly being aggressive towards him.

He has a lot of genuinely cruel moments. You (or maybe just I) can weirdly forgive him more for hunting Aang because he's doing it for a sympathetic, heartwrenching reason even though it is bad and he's wrong. But there's no reason or goal in him being mean to his uncle, it's simply that he's an angry, traumatized, scared teenager and his uncle is someone he can safely take that out on, because Iroh has the patience of a saint and will always forgive him.

And when Iroh tries to push him to realize that chasing after his father's love is futile, he gets downright vicious, calling him selfish, shallow, lazy, jealous of his brother, he just goes right for the jugular because he's so afraid of what Iroh's telling him, he doesn't want to hear it so much that he'll lash out at him as hard as he can to get him to stop, and also to convince himself that Iroh doesn't know what he's talking about.

Zuko is not a nice person for a good chunk of the series, and that includes his relationship with the one person who unfailingly loves and supports him, who's pretty much given up a comfortable like just to help and look after him, and I think that's important. It means he actually needs a redemption arc. It gives his guilt about how he treated Iroh later on weight. And the fact the series allows Zuko to be truly nasty but we still root for him shows how good the writing is. Because despite all that, we can still see the good inside him, we want him to be a better person.

And in the show, in the beginning, Zuko shows those sparks of good slowly. Which allows the audience to feel real tension in not knowing what he'll do. Take that episode in season 1 where Iroh is captured...the viewer genuinely does not know what Zuko will do from what we've seen so far. When he says he'll leave without Iroh, as a viewer, you wonder if he might do it because he's often so mean to Iroh. But it's clear that Iroh knows Zuko's threats are totally empty and he would never leave without him, he's not worried at all when he misses the deadline, and he also knows that Zuko will be coming to rescue him. But the audience doesn't necessarily know that at this point in the series, so when Zuko not only doesn't leave without him, but goes to rescue him and even gives up his chance to capture the Avatar to do so, it's new information for the audience. We see this kid genuinely loves his uncle, and is even willing to sacrifice a chance at the thing he wants most in the world to save him. I think it's that moment that Zuko officially becomes a sympathetic character (It was hinted at with his refusal to kill Zhao and his clear happiness when Iroh praises him, but it becomes concrete here), since we still don't know his backstory yet.

When it happens in the live action though, it's not new information though, and not just because I've watched the original . It's because they never allowed Zuko to be really unlikeable. He's not that mean to Iroh in this version, it's clear from the beginning he loves and respects him. They even have the moment where Zuko sees Appa happen AFTER he's already risked his life to save Iroh, so there's no suspense, of course he's not going to abandon his injured uncle to chase Aang, we already know he'll put himself on the line to save him. It doesn't have any impact because the audience is never allowed to question whether Zuko cares.

And this hesitation to make Zuko be mean to his uncle has ripple effects on the story the live action is unwilling to deal with- it damages Iroh as the character and makes his actions not make sense. Because if Zuko actually listens to Iroh and consistently respects him, why doesn't Iroh just work harder at trying to get him to stop trying to please his abusive father, to stop hunting the Avatar? it seems like he'd be willing to listen with enough work. Live action Aang even questions this and Iroh just. doesn't answer him. Blows it off. As Big Joel points out in his video, it becomes a baffling moment.

But it's clear to me why he doesn't push Zuko harder in the cartoon. The idea that his father's love is attainable and he just needs to get it back, that he can capture the Avatar and regain the family he lost, that this is the right thing to do...it's pretty much what's keeping Zuko going. If Zuko doesn't have that, he might give up on life entirely. Iroh directly says this. 'the important thing is hunting the Avatar gives Zuko hope'. And Iroh knows if he pushes Zuko too much about this, Zuko won't hear it, he will lash out at him and probably leave him, just as he does in season 2, and then how can he help his nephew heal, give him support, and gently guide Zuko to do better?

This is especially demonstrated in the beginning of season 2 when Azula says Ozai wants him back and Zuko, so desperate to be loved, falls for her trap. Iroh tries to gently tell him that his father is not that kind of person, gently tiptoes towards "your father's love is not attainable" and Zuko immediately lashes out viciously, shuts down the conversation, and is willing to leave without him (though he's clearly ecstatic when Iroh does choose to come with him. ecstatic for him, anyway). So Iroh has to pretend to agree with him. to go along with it, all so he can protect Zuko when it does turn out to be a trap.

It's pretty easy to see the turning points in the show that cause Iroh he steps up and finally really try to push Zuko to stop hunting Aang, be a better person and find his own happiness. There's the end of season one when Zuko would have died trying to capture Aang if Aang hadn't chosen to save him. This is a wake up call for Iroh. It's definitely when Iroh realizes the fact it gives Zuko hope doesn't matter, because Zuko's fixation on hunting the Avatar is very likely going to end with Zuko dead. Zuko is so fixated on this he won't prioritize his own survival. This is directly confirmed by the show because Iroh brings it up later when he finally snaps and yells at Zuko to stop this. And there's also the aforementioned moment, where Zuko's desperation for his father's love leads him into a trap and they both have to become fugitives. I think this is when it sinks in for Iroh there's no happy ending for Zuko where he's welcomed back home, and this hope could lead him straight into danger.

(I don't know if this idea Iroh doesn't truly think hunting Aang is a good thing but won't push Zuko too hard about it because that would only shatter their relationship in the first season was actually what they had in mind while writing season 1, but I do think they made it track pretty well when they decided to make his character shift in season 2. )

So yes, Zuko being more amiable and respectful makes Iroh's dynamic with him not make as much sense, and makes Iroh seem much more baffling and callous, especially since the live action makes it very clear that Iroh believes capturing the Avatar is the wrong thing to do from the beginning.

But they don't care about story consistency, or building believable conflict, or writing coherent character dynamics, or allowing Zuko growth. No, the writers like Zuko, they don't want to risk the audience not liking Zuko, so lets remove a lot of his flaws, make his feelings toward Iroh warmer and more respectful because that's easier to watch and everyone liked how warm and loving he was toward Iroh at the end of season 3, so lets just skip to that. The cartoon trusted us to see the good in Zuko and root for him on his journey even if it was messy and sometimes painful to watch, but the live action doesn't, so it won't put in the work. And so his story becomes less meaningful and satisfying, and so Iroh's behavior stops making as much sense. I could easily believe the Zuko in the cartoon would betray Iroh out of sheer desperation to be accepted by Ozai, even as it wracks him with regret, but I wouldn't be able to believe live action Zuko would make such a decision. He's too nice! He never disdains his uncle!

Characters being allowed to do nasty, mean things even to people who love them and then grow to be better is important for writing believable stories and believable growth, especially when it comes to redemption arcs. But I've seen a reluctance to accept that in some writers and a lot of fans. Katara's moments of cruelty are removed (which fans were always less forgiving of than Zuko's hmmm i wonder why), Zuko's moments of being cruel to someone who loves him are removed, we have make it clear Iroh is good from the beginning and directly excuse Iroh's hypocrisy in sometimes prioritizing Zuko's happiness over like, the safety of the world and ending the war sometimes, rather than simply see him quietly develop to be better on that front. It sucks.

We have to be willing to be uncomfortable with characters actions and words sometimes without dismissing them as bad characters, and I....just want fans to consider that, and writers to consider that.

[demonmoonsupreme]

Ugh. I have to say it. I’ve been holding it back because I know how much fandom hates this plot point so much. And like maybe it’s because I enjoy angst, or because characters coming in a vacuum sealed ‘morally upstanding’ package is just not realistic or enjoyable to me.

But Gwen should not have been ‘bewitched’ to cheat on Arthur with Lancelot. For one, it just sets another horrible precedence of magic use within the narrative. And two: it’s boring as hell. Oh, and also apparently Gwen was only allowed screen time in later seasons when her autonomy was nowhere to be seen. So three. Three reasons why I find it dumb as hell. And one that last front? Yeah, I think she should have willingly had an affair with Lancelot. I know, I Know. Cheating bad. Cheating make evil wrong person. Or whatever twitterinas are saying.

But hear me out (or don’t). How did Gwen feel after Lancelot died after she made him promise to return Arthur to her alive? Did she feel that she had unwittingly sentenced him to death? Her first true love; the man she looked for in other men. (Maybe we’d know how she felt if the writers didn’t have her going off like a broken record and just keep repeating what a great king Artie would someday be). I wish we had seen her grief, I wish she had been given time to mourn (as we know she never is in a series that kills every family member she has). And then Lancelot returns. She realizes she stills loves him, she feels guilty and blames herself thinking she had a part in his death. She thinks she asked him to sacrifice himself. And she wonders if she made the right choice. Lancelot and Arthur are there before her, and her wedding is in two days, and it’s all so sudden and the window of opportunity is about to be closed for the rest of her life; and she wonders if she’s chosen the right man. Gwen wonders if she’s been given a second chance, can she amend her previous choices. Does she want to amend them. Yes, this storyline opens her up to all sorts of criticisms. Fandom would condemn her a slut, she would join the ranks of women who can’t just make up their damn mind. Someone would declare it’s anti-feminist, because women aren’t allowed to be portrayed with “bad” qualities and when they are it just sets us all back.

But…it would be so much more nuanced than the plot they gave us. It would give Gwen the opportunity to make the choice because in the past it had been robbed from her (Lancelot leaving when he realized that Arthur loved Gwen, and Lancelot dying the first time). It would grant her autonomy over her own sexuality and choice of partner(s). Unlike the male protagonists in this show, Gwen is never actually given a real chance to morally grapple with anything, especially her own actions. She just is a good person who never does anything wrong, can be a bad-ass if it’s required, and falls into the straight and narrow path of ideal womanhood when she gets a boyfriend in a position of extreme power.

I know I’m barely making sense, but she just could have been written so much better. She could have been treated like a real person in the writers room, but she wasn’t.

[slackerlifewhere]

Cale Henituse and Kim Rok Soo

After I posted yesterday, I saw an opinion that I kind of agree with about the difference between Cale Henituse and Kim Rok Soo.

I'm gonna say my opinion without trying to offend the whole fandom. Again, you can read fics about OG Cale as MC. I will not stop you just because I have my own opinion. You are free to read whatever you want. If you don't agree with this, it's fine and if you do, don't antagonize or attack the fanfiction authors who made these fics. Let them do their own thing, okay?

This post is not a rant but me sharing my own thoughts and opinions about this topic.

To make this easier, I'll call OG Cale as Cale and OG KRS as KRS.

[✋SPOILERS for the first part of the novel✋]

Some say that Cale Henituse and Kim Rok Soo are the same person. While I don't know if this is true because I haven't read the second part of the novel yet, in my opinion, they are not the same.

Again, I repeat, I like Cale Henituse. He's very intelligent and kind to Basen to the point of destroying his own reputation, he targets thugs and scammers whenever he's "drunk", he's willing to sacrifice his whole identity in order to save his world after surviving for twenty years by himself. He's a complex character and in another world, if given the chance, he would've been a great MC.

But that's the thing, he is not the MC of TCF, Kim Rok Soo is. And I think some fans forget the reason why Kim Rok Soo became the MC and not Cale Henituse. Because in some fics that I see whenever I scroll down to look for something to read, Cale completely replaces KRS' presence in the story, to the point that he doesn't exist anymore.

Let me explain.

Kim Rok Soo

Kim Rok Soo is a very integral part of the story. You can't easily replace him with another person, normal or otherwise, and expect the story to go the same way it did in the novel. He did things his way because he's a chaotic little shit. He's a different person from Cale, no matter how many or few similarities they both have.

It's not because he's simply smart or OP (as some would say) that he won a war that ended in only two years, but it's also because of his past and the bonds he made as himself.

He's a person full of empathy for these people that he meets wherever he goes, regardless whether he knows them from a book or not, because he understands them and their pain. He does not hide his personality and in a way, his charisma attracts these people who see him for who he is, a kind person.

Kim Rok Soo is different because he survived in an apocalypse by himself until he meets Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo. Plus, he did not have a great childhood. He was abused and lived by himself for the rest of his childhood and teenage years because of a curse (or maybe because his uncle is just a shitty person, who knows).

The opinions he has and the way he thinks are shaped by his own experiences. He is the Kim Rok Soo we see in the novel because he grew up under these circumstances.

To say that he's easily replaceable would be too disrespectful to the sacrifices he made as both Kim Rok Soo and Cale Henituse.

Cale Henituse

Cale, on the other hand, is different. He lived alone for how many years because he deliberately pushed everyone away because of his grief and after what Jour told him. It's not because of a curse that he became this way but because he chose to.

Yes, everyone he knows should've tried to make an effort by comforting him or talking with him (his family, the nobles he's close to, Ron and Beacrox) but that did not happen because he's the one who chose to live like this. I've mentioned it in my post about Deruth but if a person doesn't want comfort or doesn't want to talk, they will not talk, especially someone as stubborn as Cale. To blame all these people (including the kids) and the rest of the world because of his own choice is simply not right or fair since the only one responsible to actually help him is Deruth. Violan is not given this chance nor did she try as his stepmother but it all comes down to Deruth. But of course, he did not get any help nor did he seek any.

He lived his years shrouded in grief until the very end. He's a kind person but unfortunately, life is not kind to him.

Later, he survives in the war until the White Star kills him. What did he choose to do in the end when he made that deal with the God of Death? To return to the past so he can save everyone? No. Instead, he chose to go to KRS' world to find his mother. If CJS were given the chance to decline a proposal, why didn't Cale? He could've said he'll do it himself but instead, he left it to KRS. We all know he's stubborn enough to ruin his reputation, is he not stubborn enough to make a deal to save his world as himself?

You can argue it's maybe because the God of Death didn't give him the chance to argue with it but there are other ways the god could've sent KRS to this world. Like Choi Han or Choi Jung Soo.

Choi Jung Soo

Choi Jung Soo is a prime example of what could've and couldn't have happened if he agreed with the God of Death's proposal. He is not KRS. He has his own opinions and experiences that make him unique. He is not like Choi Han who drowned in his despair in TBoaH but instead, is a man who wants to survive with his friends (brothers) and smile with them despite the pain he suffers in.

If he were to replace KRS, the story would've gone differently. He might find Choi Han and they would do their best to survive in this new world together. He may or may not find Raon and the kittens, depending on the time and location when he arrives in this world. Alberu may or may not completely trust him like how he didn't completely trust Choi Han in TBoaH because unlike KRS who is too similar with Alberu, CJS is different. He might not look for the ancient powers since he has his own ability, leaving some that the White Star could've taken like the Sky Eating Water and Super Rock. In fact, the shield could've been left at the tree unless CJS knows about it and takes it. (Let me remind you that no one in this world knows there's an ancient power in that tree in the Henituse territory.)

I can list down things he could've or couldn't have done but it might be too long.

But my point is, it could've been Cale, Alberu, or Choi Han who were sent to the past but the story would've gone differently because these people are all different in their own ways. Heck, if the God of Death truly wants to save this world, he could've sent back Choi Han or Alberu instead of Cale. Because these two are also powerful in their own ways that do not need the help of ancient powers. Just give them enough information and they could've ended the war faster than twenty years.

Conclusion

So, yeah. Kim Rok Soo became the main character for several reasons. He was an ability user and team leader back in his world, he has the curse attached to him because of the White Star, he was an abused kid who had a sad childhood.

And I think there are other reasons why, if KRS is not the MC, that the story could've ended differently. Put aside Raon who is powerful and has a connection to Sheritt and the Dragon Slayers and would be integral to the story, On and Hong could've died with no one knowing about them because they were barely mentioned in the books. Mary could've stayed in the City of Life because no one would need her to help Ron. Hannah and Jack could've died because no one would've known that they were killed. Paseton has a chance to live but no one knows where he is.

Some characters would live and some would die if Kim Rok Soo is not the main character. That's basically what I think about all of this.

The reason why they survived, aside from the books, is because Kim Rok Soo's heart is so big that he wants to help people or give them the chance to survive. Some people would ignore or not notice these people because they have their own problems to deal with.

But Kim Rok Soo just wants to live. And I think that's why the story went the way it did.

Kim Rok Soo, the man who became Cale. His life motto was pretty simple.

Living long without pain. Enjoying the small joys of life.

Living a peaceful life.

- Chapter 2: When I Opened My Eyes

Again, I'm not stopping you from reading these fics nor am I telling you to attack fanfic authors because of what they write. This whole post is just me sharing my opinion.

You don't have to agree with anything I said. You can ignore this and read whatever you want to read.

This is not a post undermining or disrespecting what Cale sacrificed and felt as a person. This is a post to share my opinion that Cale and Kim Rok Soo both deserve the respect that they should get for everything they did and to not completely erase a character for the other. But if someone does it, then I can't do anything about it.

As a Mob Psycho 100 fan, I will end this with one line that perfectly summarizes what I think about this topic.

Your life is your own.

[quirkyfries]

Ruin ramble because writing his pov is interesting

Do you ever notice that Ruin gets really self depreciative about himself sometimes? (Maybe not quite self depreciative, but highlighting things about himself.) Implying vulnerability in a way that can almost come off as a joke if it weren't for his tone of voice. He says he hasn't been safe in a long time, it would be nice to sleep for once, wouldn't his death be hilarious? It comes off as a cry for help, but he states it as fact, he's convinced it won't change.

He's very stubborn about what he's done. He had nothing left to lose. No, there was absolutely no other way he could've gone about destroying the creator, he'd spent years considering his options. Yes, Solar was collateral, unfortunate. Those lives were a necessary sacrifice. He had to do it. There was no other way.

To him, he chose the lesser amount of people in the trolley problem. That was the morally correct thing to do in the circumstances he was given, lives would have been taken either way. He had to do it. (He could've walked away from the lever that switched the rails, but that would be the self serving option, wouldn't it? To move on?)

The most interesting part about it to me is, why does Ruin keep on going? All he's known is pain and suffering in some shape or another, he had nothing to live for after his goal was completed. All he'd ever known was bad, bad, bad, vindictive release, a little bit more bad, and then nothing. He was ready to die, he didn't know where to go.

Then came along this new dimension, one he'd apparently accidentally created through his actions. For someone who has nothing to gain or lose, wouldn't this be a nice chance of pace? To look forward to something nice that was more or less your responsibility in a weird way, to cultivate something good for once after a life of bad? To be able to take the place of your abuser, break that cycle? This new dimension is his reason to keep going, he will see this one good thing through if he can help it. Even if he isn't particularly liked by his migrated peers.

But he still isn't secure. There are enemies he'd made, the insurmountable weight of lives on his shoulders, and a new uncertain freedom of identity. (Granted, he still has to lie to some people to get by. I more mean his own Creator, the Virus act, and Nexus + Dark Sun here. Ruin having to strike deals and bargain for his life and act against his own morals to survive. But those are gone. When had Ruin last acted like himself, truly? He had barely been able to define himself as an Eclipse before everything bad happened.)

Does Ruin hate himself? I don't know, he's very adamant about hating what he had to do, but would do it again. He believes he was right, he's even defensive about it to several people, but there is still something that's bothering him. Does he hate himself for pressing the red button? Dunno. Maybe subconsciously. He's clearly meant to parallel Puppet with how he is now, they're the same words in different font. Ruin pulled the lever to kill the smaller amount of strangers to save the greater amount of strangers. Puppet was inside the train that killed everyone she knew. She wants to repent, Ruin hasn't shown much interest in it. Does a selfless act require repentance?

I like to think he has a bit of a dissociation issue, he compartmentalizes things if you squint, a possible coping mechanism of something called cognitive dissonance (a disturbance that happens when your actions do not align with your morals/values.) He was right for what he did. What he did was bad. What he did was necessary. He deserves his fate. He doesn't like pain. There's some contradicting statements there, he'd have to separate some things into neat little boxes in order for it to make sense in his head, so he didn't torture himself thinking about what that said about himself and his values. What he did was right and necessary. What he did was bad and he deserves his fate. He doesn't like pain. Still contradictory a bit, but a little more organized. If he focused on the positive box more than the negative box, he can feel better about himself, but he's painfully aware of the negative box' existence. Maybe he avoids looking at the negative box at all times and ignores the contents, but what's inside is so over accumulated that it can't help but be constantly present and occasionally overflow in those matter-of-fact cries for help. A lotta PTSD can fit in this bad boy (pats ruin on the head)

Does that make sense? I don't know, I feel like a therapist trying to write from his point of view. What is wrong with this little british guy.

[ceratedfish24]

I think the first time Scott did something kind to Etho he didn't even realize it was a big deal, just reflexivly did it and immediately thought nothing/forgot about it, and Etho is left standing frozen eyes wide like oh snap I'm interested in this guy now. So Etho starts watching Scott from a distance now and notices how Scott keeps doing these kind things for other people and that's how he falls in love.

YES!!! YES! YES! YES! Scott is so kind to everybody he meets, and Etho is so used to fighting for his life and becoming a product of by his circumstances, whereas Scott is so stubbornly kind, refusing to let his hardships corrupt his loving nature. It happens when Etho is scoping out the competition right before 3rd Life, and Scott is going around introducing himself to everyone. Right after Etho finishes a playful stare down with Bdubs, this pretty boy comes right up to him, an enemy to be, offers him a smile, and wishes him luck in a game they’re both about to compete in. Immediately after, Grian calls Scott over to make fun of him, which means Scott didn’t really get any time to think about Etho’s reaction. “You can’t be nice to the competition, Scott! We’re going to war! Stop making my game friendly!” Etho just watches him go… He can’t actually be that friendly, right? Well, he really was, and he continued to be.

Scott excitedly congratulates Grian on his win. He defies the Boogeyman Curse instead of going after his teammate. He sacrifices himself for Pearl. He has no resentment towards Martyn after Limited Life. He teams with Gem, a new player who may be in need of guidance. He treats Cleo’s win with all the seriousness and excitement of a full-length season’s win. He negotiates and reaches out to Etho, who has never done anything for Scott or grown close to him or proved himself to be a good teammate for other people.

And, on top of all of that, Scott does really well.

At first, Etho assumes that Scott is just really kind to people he’s close to, such as Jimmy, Cleo, and Pearl, but then Scott extends his kindness to Etho in Limited Life, making polite conversation with him despite them being on different teams and having so much more time than anyone on Etho’s team. Then, in Secret Life, Scott humors him even though he knows that Etho’s trying to distract Scott from pursuing Bdubs during the infamous game of tag. At the time, Etho couldn’t explain why he found himself stumbling over his words, as he found himself so distracted by how the light reflected in Scott’s eyes. Finally, Wild Life is what tears Etho open like a gash in a place he already knew was tender. Etho isn’t oblivious, at least not to his own feelings. He’s known that he’s felt something for Scott for a long time, but a crush isn’t exactly an optimal in a death game.

Scott, so willing to grant Etho a place on the Gs, smiles and shrugs and tells Etho that he doesn’t care if Etho’s “not a good teammate”, and Etho’s heart bursts in his chest. He’s been given a chance that he doesn’t feel as though he’s earned from someone who doesn’t know him all that well. Everything that’s been buried deep in his chest finally erupts to the surface and he wants to grab Scott and get him somewhere safe and warm. He wants to hold this man’s hand and be as close to him as physically possible, but he can’t. They’re in the middle of a death game. Etho isn’t about to dump all of his years of internalized yearning onto Scott in the middle of a death game. They can talk afterwards.

Except, of course, Etho manages to create a more urgent matter to talk to Scott about after Wild Life. If they were a mainstream pairing, there would be two hundred fics about that kill by now.

[nthspecialll]

When it comes to Dutch Van Der Linde and Evelyn Miller, it is natural that there are going to be parallels, such as they both excuse their suicides by not being able to fight their own nature, as Dutch was an avid follower of Evelyn, however it goes way deeper than that.

The main theme of the three Evelyn Miller books is that man is a creature of both action and thought, if he was just action he would be animal, was he just thought he would be god, however America in its attempt at bettering itself has denied itself thought and descended to the way of animals and as such is being led by a desire for desire for earthy possession to its death.

"Men are fixated on greed, on desire, and on the acquisition not of experiences or pleasures but the ability to acquire. People are fixated on wealth. Man is reduced to the desire for desire. Wanting is all that matters. Not loving, not being, not having, but wanting. We are killers for desire."

Man does not want something, the man wants to want, and while it has cut itself from thinking, it has cut itself from loving, from feeling, from being. And while Dutch seems to want to change this America and slowly descend into the wanting man, he was always the wanting man.

While the want for a better world seems to be making Dutch a better man than a person like Colm who simply desires money, it is not truly the only desire he has. Dutch shows desire from the very start from the small thing.

He has a stunning woman like Molly who has given him everything, yet he wants a young girl like Mary-Beth whom he practically raised.

He has, yet he still wants.

Throughout the game, Dutch asks for loyality, for faith, but he cannot get more for the entire camp has given it to him, they have given him their life for him to lay in the ground should he so wish. He has it, yet he wishes for more, he asks for more, and as he asks for more he gets less. It is his constant asking, pleading as if he has the right to their lives that causes them to take it from him. They realize his greed and withdraw because it isn't that they will not give more, it is that they cannot.

Dutch is the symbolism of the America that Evelyn Miller hates, the man who takes and takes, the man who does not desire for anything other than desire itself. Even with all the talk of heroism and ideolism, he is as much as a slave to desire as the America he has vowed to hate.

"For inside, he is nothing, so all that moves him, all that he understands is the external, the great churning sea of desire. It is not freedom. It is an impression of freedom for people who have not the capacity to see further. And why can they not see further? Because they have not been taught to see."

He might be aware of this desire, because he knew that like a drug he was addicted to desire and if not freed he would lose himself. He reads Evelyn Miller not for the chance of a better world but for the chance of an out. He knows he is empty, he knows he is desire and he wishes to be freed from it.

He watches as he hurts, he watches as he pushes away all those around him because desire overtakes him. While freedom from the desire he is a slave to seems better, the urge to continuing the search is stronger, continuing to desire is stronger, what morphine is to Swanson, desire is to Dutch, while Swanson found salvation, Dutch found a steep decline.

"Mutate us into thinkers who can never quite think for we have been denuded of the ability to feel?"

For in the end Dutch lost himself, his desire took away his ability to feel, his emotions, in the end Dutch's desire to desire became stronger than his desire to help his family, his people, the people he had vowed to protect. He would rather sacrifice those whos trust he had gained and had abused, yet continued to demand, than he would sacrifice his desire for desire.

"We are not fools, for fools cannot see their idiocy. We are somehow, worse than fools, for we will ourselves to do things of such profound stupidity despite knowing that we hate what we have built.-" "-we are as Adam, eating once more of the apple, only this time knowing full well of the consequences."

Dutch continues to rage on, he continues to hurt, he continues to demand faith, loyalty and life knowing that he hurts those around him, knowing what the outcome will be, however he cannot stop. He is a fool for he knows the outcome will not be good, he knows he is driving Arthur, John and Susan away, he knows that they are finally starting to see who he is, whom he has always known he is but has hidden from their sight, fearing that they will leave him. His desire for unending loyality is as based in fear as it is in desire itself. He needs them to rely on him to be able to feel achieved, to be able to justify his desire and mask it as a search for a better world.

And while Dutch may be aware of this, he has yet to admit it as Evelyn does in his final book which he died writing.

"But still my thoughts came upon me like wolves. My needs swamp me. My desires overwhelm me."

But what came of his desires in the end, at the end of his life? His desire had changed, while he still desired, he did not desire for desiring, he desired for an end, for the hurt to stop, he had seen what he had caused yet he could not admit to it openly. In the end he jumped because he could reach his desire without breaking the facade that he had build.

"I ran mostly because I am a terrible coward, but also in part because I was searching for something. In this way, I was both vain and a coward."

Is part of Evelyn's final book, he admits his cowardism and while Dutch never came to read this and would never have admitted to his own cowardism, he would have understood, however not in the way that Evelyn Miller wished to be understood because that kind of understanding required self awareness and acceptance that Dutch could never dream of achieving.

Evelyn Miller swore to finish his book before eating and as the book did not come together he knew that his end was near. While food was laying in his cabin he had the strength to starve himself to death, he had the strength to be able to stick to the promise he had made, and he knew he was dying because he wrote that he wished to be burned so he could fly with the eagles rather than rot in the ground with the worms, and as so he did.

Evelyn's death might seem foolish, because how can he continue on his desire when he is dead? But the truth is that from an academic point of view it makes sense because he pursued knowledge not for the practical use but for the beauty in it. He died searching, he died following his desires yet his death was not his final desire. He knew that by sticking to the promise that he would not eat before he had finished writing meant that he would never be able to continue searching, he would be obstructing himself from ever pursuing his desires again and because of that he freed himself from them. In his death he was free from his desires and he gained the freedom of the eagles he wrote about in his final wish.

Dutch on the other hand, his desire was death, he gave in to his direct desire and because of that he was trapped by them even in his after life, he was trapped to the mortal desires in death and as such trapped to the ground with the worms while Evelyn were free to roam the skies.

[bumpkinspice0]

Parallels Chapter 19: The Choice

Miguel O'Hara x Spider!FemReader

No use of y/n

Rating: Maure

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: Miguel does his best to make you feel more comfortable in your new living situation and you finally tell some friends the truth

Warnings: Just like... so much angst I guess

A/N: Sooo sorry this took a bit. Finding it hard to write these transition chapters BUT this should be the last one

Previous

Series Masterlist

AO3

_______

It feels wrong to be in your space without you there. Or maybe it’s just the fact that you can’t be here that makes Miguel's stomach churn. Still, he’s here. He came here because you asked him to.

Jack’s not back yet. That’s fine, Miguel can wait. He grabs a long abandoned box that should have been recycled ages ago and starts to fill it with whatever he can find. Clothes, books, pictures, whatever he thinks you’d find comfort in.

As he makes his way through your apartment, he sees how different it’s become. A makeshift photography studio takes up half the space, more boxes cluttering the increasingly cramped room. Yet, it’s still so you. You’d told him you’d practically already given the place to Jack, and based on looks alone that seems to be true, yet your presence still lingers. You're sent. The little things that made this your home— your life. And he’s taken it away. 

It feels dirty, like he’s stolen you. He supposes he has, in a way. He’d ripped you away from all of this without your consent. It’s your life, you should have had a say, but then again who would choose their own death?

He wonders if he would have let you go through with it if he’d warned you what was to come. Would you have done it if you knew what the canon was destined to be? Yes, of course you would have. Because he would have done the same. 

Being Spider-Man is a sacrifice. 

He’s a hypocrite, he’s a liar, a fraud. He’s— he’ll think about it all later. Right now, he’ll just focus on the task at hand. He’s good at that. 

Miguel’s upstairs when he hears the door click open, quickly followed by the kitchen lights. He hears one set of footsteps. Jack’s back and he’s alone, so he can finally do what he came here to do. What you asked him to do. 

Miguel jumps from the loft, landing directly in front of the kitchen bar. Jack stands in front of the tea kettle waiting for it to boil, his posture limp and tired. He looks awful. It only takes him a split second to notice Miguel. 

“Jesus Christ!” Jack stumbles back clutching his chest. He takes a moment to gather himself, his face sorting through nearly every emotion. Miguel watches and his expression slowly changes from shock to anger. Jack expected you, instead, he gets Miguel. 

Jack marches around the kitchen counter to stand directly in front of Miguel. He’s a rather short and stout man, but somehow that doesn’t make him any less intimidating. 

“Where is she?!” Jack pushes Miguel’s chest. 

“She’s safe.” He answers blankly. 

This only seems to add to Jack’s understandable frustrations, “Is she alive?”

“Safe would imply alive.” 

“Then where. Is. she!” Jack pushes him again, a little harder this time. Miguel doesn’t move. “They all think she’s dead, you know! It’s all over the news. An explosion in some nowhere warehouse in Queens. They say they saw her swinging there. Just a few blurry pictures as proof.”

Jack starts pacing. It’d been at least 24 hours since the accident. He’s probably been running this all through his head without anyone to tell it to. Now that he has Miguel he can let it all out. He has a chance for answers, but first, he needs to finish panicking. 

“That wasn’t her. I know what her suit looks like. I know what—” Jack pauses, realization dawning on him, “It was you, wasn’t it? You were there?”

Miguel simply nods. 

Jack sighed, running his hand through his wavy dark hair, “Miguel… please, where’s my friend?”

Miguel hates this. He hates that he has to do this. Sighing, he takes a seat on the couch, placing the box of your memorabilia next to him. 

“Jack… sit down, and I’ll explain everything.” 

Your friend hesitates for a moment. He doesn’t trust Miguel yet, not completely. That’s fair, Miguel’s taken you away from him. Jack sits away. 

Miguel explains it all— The canon, the consequences, the goal of spider society. Everything. He needs to know everything just so he can understand the gravity of the situation. What could be at stake here if they’re not very, very careful. 

He explains why he did what he did the best he can… and why he’s the one here explaining all of this instead of you. 

Jack’s expression remains stagnant for the most part. Miguel’s not sure if it’s the shock of it all or just because he’s trying so desperately to understand. Probably a healthy mix of both. This is your best friend. You’re brother. He deserves to know everything until Miguel can fix it. 

When he finished, they both sat in complete silence.

Miguel doesn’t expect it when Jack grabs his hand and buries his face in the other. His shoulders shake with muffled sobs he’s desperately trying to control. 

“But she’s alive,” He hears Jack mumble to himself. Miguel just sits there awkwardly. He’s bad at this, he’s so fucking bad at this. He’d explained the whole situation as clinically as possible to avoid something like this. He’s had enough tears that he’s caused.

Jack’s sharing his pain with him. He’s showing him trust, just a little. 

There’s no getting around it. This is a unique tragedy. Sure, you’re still alive but you might as well be dead to him. He may never see you again. Your best friend may never see you again and it’s all Miguel’s fault.

Jack eventually lets go of Miguel’s hand, wiping away the remaining stray tears. 

“I’m going to fix this, Jack,” Miguel finally says. 

“Yeah, you fucking better,” Jack huffs an attempted smile to cut through all the other raging emotions, “You really fucking better.”

“She… she says the apartment’s totally yours until further notice,” God, Miguel is so fucking bad at this. 

“Not that she was here much to begin with,” Jack huffs again. His voice is back to normal. Emotions are settling, thank god. 

Another bloated silence stirs between the two men. There just simply wasn’t anything else that could be said. The only thing they had in common was you, and Miguel had stolen you completely. What is it like to have a friend like Jack, Miguel wonders. Someone so unabashedly loyal. Someone who chooses to be your brother despite everything. 

Gabe was pulled into this life practically kicking and screaming. That’s all Miguel did, drag people down with him. And now he’d done it not only to you, but the people you loved. 

He’ll fix this. He has to. 

“Um, I was grabbing a few things for her before you came,” Miguel grabs the half-filled box, “Anything else you think she’d need? For now at least.”

Jack glances through the box for a moment, giving his eyes one final wipe each, “Yeah. Yeah, of course, follow me.”

Miguel silently follows him up the stairs. Silently sits there as he picks out all of your favorite clothes from the dresser. Silently watches as he sorts through your toiletries. Silently observes this man who knows you better than he does. 

What did Miguel really know about you in comparison? He’d read your file but what were the things that made you you? Your favorite movie, color, book? What did he know besides your body?

He’s suddenly filled with shame as he watches Jack effortlessly sort out your life when he’d just grabbed whatever he could see. That’s what you deserved, someone who knew you in the small ways. The ways that mattered. Not whatever Miguel had sucked you into. You’d both tried so hard to escape, pushed each other away… and now look where it's gotten you. This is a mess. 

He’ll try, Miguel decides. He’ll try to get to know you on a closer level. You deserved at least that. He didn’t have to keep you at arm's length anymore. He wanted to dive into your mind now. Learn everything there was to know about what made up this woman that he loved so much.

“She loves you, you know,” Jack breaks the silence, sorting through your dresser one final time in a desperate attempt to find a shirt that isn’t a graphic tee. 

Miguel says nothing. Do you love him back? Could you after all of this?

“She hasn’t told me, but she does,” Jack continues, “She won’t say it first, you can count on that.”

“Why…why are you telling me this?”

“Because she’ll find every reason not to tell you. She puts herself through hell, she suffers alone because some fucked up part of her thinks she needs to. That she has to go it alone. She’s scared, though. She’s always scared for everyone else. Hell, she sent you here to check up on me when she’s probably having the literal worst day of her life. Is that how you all are? You… spider people?”

Miguel hates to admit it, “Yes, in a way.”

“Makes sense.” Miguel swears Jack almost chuckles, “You’ve shown her how much she matters to you now. She’s going to overthink everything. She’s gonna find reasons that don’t exist. She’s gonna be scared. Be patient with her.” 

Jack places his final assortment of clothes into the box with a heavy sigh. He gathers himself for a moment before looking Miguel in the eye.

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you love her? This all wasn’t some hero's guilty conscious thing, right? You saved her, you broke the rules, you possibly ruined your life and job…because you love her.”

He so desperately wants to deny it, but when else is he going to have the opportunity to admit it? Not to you. Not yet.

“I do.” 

Jack scoffs with a smile, his own small way of saying I knew it. Miguel decides he likes Jack. You picked a good friend.

“Weird way to get the best friend stamp of approval but… I suppose you have it.” Jack extends his hand to Miguel. 

Miguel stands, hesitantly accepting your brother's hand. Jack shakes it, almost exaggeratedly before he pauses, squeezing Miguel's palm.

“Please… take care of our girl, Miguel.”

_________

Jess and Peter sit on the couch almost motionless, Mayday being absentmindedly bounced on Peter's knee. You stand in front of them almost like a scolded child just admitting to taking the cookies from the jar. You wanted them here. You needed support, and you knew that, Miguel knew it too— still, that didn’t make this shit any easier. 

You confessed. Told them everything. Told them what had been going on with you these last few months, where Miguel was right now… that you couldn’t leave. Anomaly— you're an anomaly now. You still couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

And your confidantes, the people you trusted with this big secret… are just sitting there. You’re not sure what you want them to say or do but something would be nice. 

Jess’s face remained stern and almost unreadable as it usually did, but you could just feel the disappointed mom energy rolling off of her. Peters's expression changed from its usual chillness to basically shock. Even now he sat wide-eyed and thin-lipped, his brain running on autopilot to entertain his daughter.

“I uhh…” you break the suffocating silence. “I’ll be staying here until we, umm, until we figure things out.”

“Figure things out?” Jess sneers. While at least she was talking now.

“Jess—” Peter attempts.

“Figure things out?!” Jess stands off the couch, “What—what like this is a breakup? Like your in-between apartments or something?!” 

“I mean… I technically am.” you faintly attempt to joke, praying it will break the tension. It doesn’t.

“Oh my God!” Jess’s face goes flat, “Oh my God! This is— this is absolutely insane! I would have expected this from one of the kids, but you?! You just thought this would—”

“Jess!” Peter grabs her arm. You swear it takes everything in her not to just real back and punch him out of pure reflex. They both pause there, sharing a silent look. You don’t think you’d ever seen Peter look so serious. 

Eventually, Jess deflates with a shaky sigh, running a hand over her face. In two massive steps, she comes over to you and wraps you in a tight hug, squeezing all of the shame and mortification out of you in the only way a friendly embrace can.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She murmurs into your ear. You think you’d start crying if you had any tears left to give. There’d been too much crying. You’re done with tears, the time for them has come and passed. Now you want to solve the problem. Now is the time for action. 

Jess pulls back, her hands trailing down your arms and coming to a stop at your wrist. She lifts up your right hand, where your new bulky watch clings. 

“Pretty snazzy, huh?” you roll your wrist over in her hands. Gabe had Layla deliver new attachments to it— something to monitor you at all times. The thing was now easily double its original size. If you were becoming unstable, if your existence became a threat, they’d be alerted. What happens after that, you don’t really know. You don’t want to think about it.

“What do you need from us?” Peter asks, snagging MayDay off the couch.

“I, uhh, I don’t know yet,” You pull your arm back from Jess’s grasp, clutching your wrist to your chest. You’re not used to the weight yet. “I just wanted someone to know. Figured it was best to just tell you two. The kids don’t need to get involved.”

“How long has this been going on again?” Jess asks.

“A few… months.” You admit again. Jess says nothing back but you can see that look in her eyes. “Just… could you be there…when I need you? I don’t know what that means yet, but I’d really like to stop doing things alone.”

Neither of them hesitated, answering at the same time.

“Of course.”

“You got it.”

And the room falls silent again, dozens of questions surely being left unanswered. This was fucked. This was so fucked and still, selfishly, you’re glad someone else finally knows. 

Peter finally steps up.

“I’m not an expert in this kind of stuff, but I’ve found in times like these, this little thing seems to help me feel better.” He holds out the squirming little ball that is Mayday Parker. She reaches out for you without hesitation. You gently take her from Peter’s grasp, unable to stop the smile that spreads on your face at the sight of something so innocent. She coos, immediately grabbing for your face, hair, anything really. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t made her web-shooters yet.” You laugh as she starts to crawl over your entire torso. Oh, what it must be like to have a spider-powered baby at home— absolute hell, probably. 

“Oh trust me, I’m working on it,” Peter already has his phone out, likely already having taken a good dozen pictures. 

Jess, thank god, finally smiles.

“So… what’s the plan for now, babe?” she asks, crossing her arms as indefensibly as she can.

“I stay here and let the science boys do their thing,” you pull May off of your leg, nuzzling her into your chest. “No dimensional travel, no telling anyone else.”

“And what about Miguel?” Her tone shifts, just a little. 

“What about him?” you hear your own voice creep very close to bitchy territory.

Jess rolls her eyes, “What are you two—”

All of your attentions are grabbed by a now familiar crackling of the dimensional space-time continuum being ripped open. A portal forms on the other side of the couch, Miguel walking through with a box of your belongings in hand.

“Hey, buddy!” Peter greets him with a wave. Always the positive one, bless his heart. 

Miguel ignores him completely, turning his gaze to you.

“They know?” he simply asks. 

“They know.”

“Good,” He walks to the kitchen, the portal closing behind him. He sets your box on the counter with a heavy thunk.  

You look over and see Jess contemplating. Like whether she's gonna blow up at him or slap him. To your relief, she does neither. Instead, she gently places a hand on your shoulder.

“You want us to stay? Need anything else?”

Do you? You have no idea. Truth be told, you just want to pass out in a dark room alone. The only task you had for the day was to tell them— and that bandaid had already been ripped off. No, some alone time would be good— and maybe, finally, some sleep.

“No, it’s okay you guys can go,” you, a little reluctantly, hand May back to Peter. He was right, she did make everything feel a little better. “But um… will you be in the tower tomorrow?”

They both share a brief glance at one another. Peter is the one to answer. 

“We’ll make sure of it.”

Separate portals spring to life behind both of them. They each give you a small pat on the shoulder before stepping through, disappearing in the blink of an eye. You always felt like it was a special kind of silence that followed after a portal closed. Something eerie and cold. 

That or you could just feel Miguel's eyes burning a hole in the back of your head. You take a deep breath and walk over to the kitchen.

You’d mourned, you found comfort in friends, and now… now you don’t fucking know. Everything felt so weird, so tense. Like every movement you made was wrong. In a way, you supposed it was wrong, you're not even supposed to be here. 

Stop it. 

You rummage around the box, trying your best to avoid Miguel’s gaze. It was a hodgepodge of your belongings, clothes and books and toiletries. Hell, even your favorite tea made it into the mix. 

“Did you talk to Jack?” you finally say something.

“I did.” His voice is always so damn steady. How does he do that?

“How did he take it?”

“As well as you could expect,” you hear a heavy sigh. “He’s happy, though. Happy you're alive.”

“That’s something.” you run your thumbs over a worn tee shirt you’ve had since college, staring at it like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. What are you supposed to do now? The sight just makes all of this feel more real like there was some kind of finality to it all. He brought your things. You can’t go back— maybe ever. Why can’t you look at him? 

“Hey.”

His voice is right next to you and it makes you jump. You finally look at him, if only out of sheer force of habit. Those piercing red eyes are waiting for you— only they’re not piercing. There’s no hint of regret or pain like you were so used to over the last day and a half. There’s only kindness. His face was so soft and caring. 

He brought your things and talked to your best friend because you asked him to… because he wanted you to be comfortable in this horrible clusterfuck. Miguel cared. Amid hell on earth, he always cared. Of course he did— he saved your life after all.

You collapse into his chest, squeezing him as tightly as you can manage. His massive arms close in around you immediately. To your surprise, you don’t burst into tears. Like you said, too much crying had been done. You’re sick of it. 

“I, uh, I really like this tea,” you half laugh into his chest.

“Ah, the tea. Of course.” you can hear the smile in his voice. “Jack, um, helped pack. I can go back if you—”

“No, no this should be fine for now,” you turn your head, looking at the lowly little box that contained your whole life. “Do you want some… of the tea? It’s vanilla chai.”

“I, uh…yeah, sure.” his grip loosens. 

You fish the half-empty box out and glance around the kitchen before you realize you're still a stranger here. 

You turn to Miguel. “Uh, do you have a—”

“Oh, yeah.” He steps in front of you, opening a corner cupboard to pull down a tea kettle. He hands it to you and reaches into the neighboring cupboard to grab two mugs. The whole kitchen was so sleek white and cold, even the damn kettle.

“Thanks,” you say passively as you fill it up at the sink. You come back to the hot pad and notice there's no chord. Maybe it had the retractable kind. You pick it up and turn it over in your hands.

“There’s no plug-in,” Miguel answers, seemingly reading your mind, “Things haven’t been made with extension cords for almost thirty years. Nearly every table is a power conductor. Just put it on and hit start, it’ll boil.”

You’re in the future… right. You put the kettle on its plate and kick down the boil lever. And, like magic, it lights up. 

Alien. It all felt alien, but you’re the only one out of place here.

“Wow, no more plug-ins. Lucky me,” you say bitterly.

You see Miguel shift next to you, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“No! No, I’m sorry,” you press your palms to your eyes, fingers clawing down your forehead to ground yourself, “Just… getting used to it all.”

You hear Miguel click his tongue before he steps up behind you. He pulls you into him again, your back to his chest. You lean into it and his chin comes down to rest on your head. Despite it all, you still loved the way it felt when he held you. It grounded you. He still made you feel safe. In the midst of it all, it felt nice to be doing something so… boring. So domestic.

It also felt ridiculous. 

“What are we doing, Miguel?” you sigh.

“Making tea.”

“No, I mean— why aren’t we doing anything right now,” you lean your head into the crook of his arm, “We should be solving this.”

“We will solve this.”

“With tea?”

“I mean… it might help.” he places a gentle kiss into your hair, “We rest, we get grounded first, then we’ll solve this. We’ll solve everything… I promise.”

You want to believe him. You so desperately do, but you can’t manage to bring yourself to that level of delusion yet. You’d always thought of yourself as an optimistic person, as most spiders are, but you’d never felt so utterly helpless. Miguel was right, you needed to ground yourself before you can move forward— but how do you want to move forward? What did you really want? What was this all for?

“What about us?” you find yourself asking as soon as you have the thought.

He pauses longer than you’d like. “What about us?”

“What are we going to do after? I know what we should do, but… well, let's face it, we’ve never been very good at that.” Despite everything, you find yourself smiling. 

“No. No, we haven’t.” You think you hear him smiling too. He sways you both, ever so gently as you stare down at the now boiling kettle. “I’ve made my choice, but what do you want, añarita?”

“What’s your choice?”

“I asked you first.” 

Typical, always baiting you into talking first, but you did the exact same thing. It was easier that way, safer. If you already know what the other person is thinking, you know exactly what to say. Manipulation some might call it, but that’s not what either of you is doing here. This is shaky territory. Your sanity is being held by a thread, every decision, every choice you make from now on has to be purposeful. You needed to stop ignoring the long-term effects of your and his actions. 

What’s your choice, he asked. He really means what do you want? Oh, if only it were that simple. 

You want your home back. You want to talk to Jack. You want everything to be normal again. You want Miguel in every way someone could imagine. You wished you’d never met him. You want a single ounce of stability in your life. 

And of course, none of that is in the cards. Here you are again, asking for the impossible amid an impossible situation. 

You must have been catatonically silent longer than you thought because Miguel releases you with a heavy sigh. 

“Sorry, that was an unfair question,” He steps back and you turn to face him.

“No— it’s just— I don’t know, Miguel. I don’t know about anything anymore.”

He nods and turns his gaze away from you. He bites at his lip, his features drooping to look almost sad. You’ve hurt his feelings, you think. 

“I told you I made my choice,” he turns around, pulling out a drawer of the kitchen island, “I can’t justify my actions, but I can’t bring myself to fully regret them either. But I made them, and we all have to live with that. I know what I want after all of this, but I only want it if you want it too.”

He turns around, and your tunnel vision focuses on it instantly, spider sense pinging an alarm in the back of your head. In his hand is that evil little pale green tube—the spider-sense cure. Your first instinct is to scream, but you say nothing.

He holds the dreaded tiny vial heavy in his hand, looking down at it with a blank expression. Did he suffer as much as you did, you wonder. Did the sight of that horrible little thing make his stomach churn too? But now he’s holding it in front of you. What on earth is he trying to say?

He squeezes the little vial in his fist. It almost scares you when he throws the thing on the floor. It cracks, the offensive liquid slowly leaking out— but that’s not good enough. He drives his heel into it, shattering it completely. God, you almost want to cheer at the sight.

Before you have time to react, he takes one massive step back over to you, reaching to cradle your head in his hands. His touch is still so gentle. 

“My choice is you. It was you before, and it will be you after—if you’ll have me.”

And he kisses you. 

There are things you’d seen in this job, things you’d done that no other single human could possibly experience in one lifetime. You’d traveled the world and multi-verse alike. You’d seen space and time itself. You’d seen the unparalleled joy on a parent's face when you’d returned their child safe and sound from certain death. You’d seen the fear in pure evil’s eyes. You’d felt pain like no other, but at the same time, there was so much joy to ease it away. 

Somehow… This kiss puts all that to shame. 

Twice now he’s declared his loyalty to you. Twice he’s broken every rule he lives by just to save you. He told you before you were worth everything— maybe now you’ll finally believe him.

It doesn’t fix things, but it’s a salve on the pain that was brewing. If anything it brings more questions you don’t have the answers to into this whole damned circus, but you can’t bring yourself to care. In a way, this is exactly what you wanted to hear. You’re not a burden. You’re not unwanted. No matter what it took to save your life and your reality, he still wanted you. At the end of this, you’d still have him. 

And you wanted him too.

________

We're gonna have a bunch of smut and domestic fluff in the next one, just to make for the pain I've put you all through haha

________

Taglist:

@ineedgarlicbread @pinkiemme @thesilenthill @bontensbabygirl @fallenangelsongwolf @raerorigel @littlefreakymunson @viriexo

@w33ni3 @del-ightfulling @radiantlyfemme @5sosuperntaural

Taglist post here!!!

[epickiya722]

Sukuna is Yuji's Biggest Hater... Or He Is??

Oh, he is. He definitely is. There is no doubt about that. Sukuna hates Yuji and has since the get-go. Yuji will cough and Sukuna will go "shut the hell up, brat". (Exaggeration, but you get it.) But why? Why does Sukuna hate Yuji so much?

But give me a chance here!! Hear me out, folks!! Just hear me out!!

Storywise, it makes sense that he would because hello! Yuji is the big good protagonist and Sukuna is the big bad antagonist. That's to be expected. I'm here for it. But let's not mind that!!

Now, here's me just rambling on. I have thoughts, folks, thoughts. I'm not saying I'm totally right on this. Just hear me out. So get ready for a long post!

(NOTE: I started writing this in January before 248 came out! So I added onto what was revealed in that chapter and onward to this post.)

(ANOTHER NOTE: I literally finished and posted this a minute or so before I saw the leaks for 257...)

Off rip, Sukuna no doubt despises Yuji's existence for the fact that Yuji is capable of keeping him contained. He was literally made to be Sukuna's vessel. A cage, if you will. It takes Yuji willingly to give up control, Yuji being fed multiple of Sukuna's cursed fingers at once or a Binding Vow for Sukuna to take control. Other than that, Sukuna is locked up, he ain't getting out. Do not pass go and do not collect $200.

Sukuna's first L of the series came at losing a mental battle against Yuji and no doubt that was a hurt to his pride.

But other than that, why else could Sukuna despise Yuji so much?

Well, I have a guess! Am I right about this? As I said, I'm not saying for certain.

But my guess is that Sukuna hates Yuji the most because he hates how he displays himself in battle. Better yet, Sukuna hates that Yuji isn't him.

Not only he hates that Yuji displays his strength in a humble way compared to others, but as 248 reveals Sukuna hates that Yuji keeps going despite Sukuna constantly trying to break him. I'll touch on that later.

You know the saying "your biggest hater is your biggest fan" or whatever? Yeah, that is Sukuna... maybe.

I'll clear this up because I know you probably went "HOW"? Okay, I touched on this in a post so I'll summarize it here.

Yuji doesn't do something that a lot of other characters do whenever they're out there throwing hands. Enjoying a fight and/or proving their strength. Yuji often fights not to show his strength, but he fights for others. Yuji doesn't think to show off his capabilities because it doesn't interest him to. Yuji isn't a prideful person.

Mind you, even before the cog mentality bit, Yuji already didn't think much of himself. He has called himself dumb at least twice. And, in a small moment, Yuji actually seemed shocked at Megumi's comment how of "adept" he is, almost as if he didn't think he was capable of such a thing even though since day one Yuji has been shown to being able to pick up on things fast with ease.

Yuji only feels weak when he feels he has failed someone. Wasuke told him that he's a strong kid and to help others. Ever since then, what all has Yuji has tried to do? Help others. It probably irritates Sukuna given that he is not someone who helps others, especially if it doesn't benefit him. He doesn't even like requests.

Sukuna probably hates that Yuji goes out of his way to sacrifice his life for people with the power he has when Yuji should be showing it off and enjoying a good fight just like he does. It's what makes Yuji boring to him.

Whenever Sukuna has fought someone (most of the time), it's a battle of "who is stronger" and he praises that person for showing off that potential. He even gets some entertainment out of it. There was even Maki, who wasn't fighting him for the sake to prove she's strong, who he praised.

But out of those he has faced, who does he constantly put down? Yuji.

Here's the thing. We know Yuji isn't weak. Sukuna knows this, too. He knows this firsthand because he has always been there. Sukuna, the King of Curses, was able to be suppressed by Yuji while possessing his body. He has seen Yuji show strength and speed that he was born with. He fought Yuji himself and within that first fight Yuji has managed to throw Sukuna off guard twice.

So Sukuna knows what Yuji can do. He just doesn't acknowledge it to Yuji. Instead, he chooses to call him "weak" and "boring".

But why? What is it about Yuji that really gets at Sukuna to constantly put him down like that?Again, 248 confirms Sukuna hates that Yuji has an unbreakable spirit. Yet, wouldn't that be something Sukuna be impressed by? Wouldn't he be impressed that Yuji's will is so strong that not even the King of Curses can tear it down? Let alone, why would he even care enough to acknowledge Yuji's unbreakable resolve at this point of the story and actually go out his way to be petty to try to break it again?

Why is Sukuna actually wasting his energy being pressed by Yuji who he deems weaker than him?

It's expected for the villain to be irritated by a hero's unbreakable will. But with Sukuna? Villain, he may be, he doesn't cross as the type to actually be that pressed about one person. Like, why does it matter that Yuji, this teenage boy who shares his mutual hatred, opposes him?

In a way, I believe that Sukuna hates Yuji, but also believes in his capability just in his own twisted way. He may, just maybe, sees Yuji as "the next Sukuna". Not in the sense of "I want an heir to live on my legacy" but in a "you should be like me, an epitome of strength and greatness".

What if Sukuna eggs Yuji on over and over to break him to eventually get him to snap and really show him a more bloodthirsty side? But one that he isn't angry on the behalf of others, but for himself? What if Sukuna wants Yuji to be selfish? What if Sukuna hates that Yuji has this unbreakable spirit because he wants to mold Yuji into his own image, and doesn't even know it himself yet?

We don't know much of Sukuna's past except how he was feared and worshipped through his reign of terror during the Heian Era. But what about before all that? Before he became the King of Curses? Or even after? What caused his death? Did he still have people who worshipped him?

We just know he was an "unwanted" child and he brushes that off. I imagine that during his time growing up, he learned how harsh life was and that shaped him into who he is today. He may be trying to project that onto Yuji. Wants Yuji to not be so naïve about how cruel the world is and doesn't deserve selfless people like Yuji. Treating him cruelly so that eventually Yuji becomes what he wants him to be. Just like him.

It's a crazy idea, I know, but anything can happen, I guess.

Sukuna chooses to not help Yuji and even if he does, he doesn't mean to. Earlier in the story, he reacts badly to being used as "a generator" against the Finger Bearer Curse, going as far as to killing Yuji.

[Thinking back on it, I find it intriguing and visual pleasing in storytelling that Sukuna tears out Yuji's heart. Not like I wanted Sukuna to do that! I actually freaked out! What I mean is, Yuji is someone whose actions are influenced by his heart than his head. Opposite of Sukuna who is a heartless monster and in battle, he tends to think with his head. In that scene, it was like saying such. Sukuna is a heartless monster while Yuji has a heart too big for his body. Moving on!]

The next time Yuji asks for his help with Junpei he laughs in his face and denies him that aid. After that, Yuji doesn't ask for Sukuna's help anymore.

Instead, he gets stronger and trains to rely on his own skills and prowess. Probably what Sukuna wants. He doesn't want to be used as some aid Yuji calls on whenever and at the same time, just maybe he wants Yuji to grow on his own the way he probably had to. He's helping Yuji become great without helping him.

Come the Shibuya Incident, this is where it gets interesting to me.

First, recall the fight between Choso and Yuji. We can see just how Yuji has gotten stronger. So strong that Choso did indeed have a hard time beating Yuji. Choso even remarks later after Shibuya how Yuji is like a "demon god" in chapter 139. This isn't him praising Yuji as a big brother. This is him praising Yuji as someone who has faced Yuji before. That was not an easy fight for Choso even though all Yuji fought with was his martial arts, wits, strength and speed.

"Kiya, didn't he lose that fight?" Yes (and some of you won't let that go). But, remember how Sukuna reacted?

He comments how he couldn't believe that Yuji lost to such "riffraff". That wording caught my attention because Sukuna would have normally said something like "You're pathetic, you're weak" or of the nature. He probably would have made a comment of how he expected Yuji to lose.

But he doesn't! Instead, his words are of disappointment that Yuji lost to Choso all while insulting Choso with "riffraff/inferior opponent" comment. Isn't that odd to anybody else but me?

Fast forward just a little to the final battle with Mahito! When Mahito confronts Sukuna for the third time, he tells Sukuna to shut up (and he wasn't even talking) and watch as he kills Yuji. And Sukuna gives him this look. It was smug. He was smirking. It's like he knows Mahito was talking a big game that he indeed did not win. It could be because he knows that at that point, Yuji wasn't going to stop until Mahito was dead. That he was at a breaking point.

(I also felt that Sukuna probably Sensed Kenjaku nearby. The thing is, if Mahito had succeeded in killing Yuji, it still would have been a lost to him somehow because Sukuna could probably just resurrect him again.)

A breaking point that Sukuna started. Let's rewind it back a bit to after Sukuna fought Mahoraga. Ah, yes. That moment.

When Sukuna switches back to Yuji to show off the destruction he did during the fight with Mahoraga. The memories of what Sukuna had done from killing the Hasaba twins, everything he did when fighting Jogo and finally Mahoraga. Once Yuji took in everything, he becomes distressed, nauseous, he falls into this state of self-hatred.

"... I am nothing but a murderer."

That scene is a punch to the gut. It was heartbreaking, especially to Yuji fans, huh? But there is someone who enjoyed it, undoubtedly. Someone who relished in seeing Yuji in such pain. Of course, it was Sukuna. We all know Ryomen Sukuna was basking in being the cause of Yuji's breakdown.

Something tells me that during that fight against Mahoraga, Sukuna realized just how destruction and death was happening around him and thought "Oh, I think the after results should be something for the brat to see"! And when he let Yuji see that huge black space void of life? He was laughing, he had to be.

I touched on this here, but I'm bringing it up here, too.

Yuji being aware of what Sukuna does and vice versa, Sukuna actually didn't have to bring Yuji right to that spot. He could have just switched back where he was and Yuji would have still known what he did. But, no. Sukuna had to be extra cruel. He had to show Yuji what he did front row and center. Almost as if he needed Yuji to see how cold-hearted and ruthless Sukuna is and maybe push Yuji to being just as cold-hearted and ruthless.

Take note of the lyrics of SPECIALZ, the song King Gnu written from the villains' POV. (Lyrics in the parentheses are translated by the music video.)

Shall we dance in the border of the death

Tokyo trenches in the metropolis

Shall we give it our all in between yes and no

Show me a hint of bad part inside of you

***

Let it all make a mess

Devour everything to your heart's content (Let's feast on the emptiness)

A lifelong labyrinthine rendezvous (Lost in the labyrinth of life, launched on this rendezvous)

To the point of dizziness (Losing my mind), "U R MY SPECIAL"

These lyrics reflect that scene. Yuji is brought to the border of a death scene, a place where many died. "Show me a hint of bad..." Yuji's reaction is the bad part of him that later shape into the Yuji we see for the rest of the arc. His words of "nothing but a murderer" kind of hint Yuji's later words to Mahito. How he'll keep on killing and killing curses. He won't take pleasure in it as it's just seems to be his role in this ongoing war between curses and humans.

"Let it all make a mess", definitely what it all was. A mess that affects Yuji hard. A mess that you could say makes him empty inside. "Let's feast on emptiness/Devour everything to your heart's content", Sukuna pretty does just that. Feasts on everything he chooses to both literally and figuratively. He devours on Yuji's pain and what if he wants Yuji to do the same? To just devour everything to satisfy himself. He had Yuji "feast his eyes" on the empty space.

Take note that in the anime, when Yuji is saying to himself to "die, die right now" his eyes are this red color. Sukuna's eyes are red. To me, that wasn't just Yuji telling himself to die, but also Sukuna, a bad part of him that he wanted to be rid of in the first place.

"Losing my mind", Yuji wanders from that scene as he constantly replays words he and others have said to him. He's in that state of confusion, lost and dizziness.

Now, these set of lyrics also could be Mahito's POV to Yuji. Mahito is a foil to Sukuna. They're both major antagonists to Yuji who mess with him. But in opposite, death isn't something Sukuna is afraid of while Mahito turns tail when it gets dangerous for him.

Let's rewind back to my previous point about the scene between Sukuna and Mahito. Yuji was at that breaking point and Mahito was going to feel that rage and lose against it. He would, and he does, become Yuji's victim. Again, in a twisted way it seemed Sukuna was proud of just knowing Yuji was possibly about to become a killing machine against Mahito.

I described in another post here that Yuji is a toy to Sukuna. In this case, the toy Yuji is to Sukuna is play dough. A modeling dough that comes in vibrant colors that children play with to mold into whatever they imagine.

Yuji is a play dough. He's being molded into whatever Sukuna wants him to be.

But why would he care to do that? Maybe it's a subconscious decision. That somewhere deep down inside Sukuna, a part of him senses that Yuji is that missing piece of him. Remember how twins work in JJK? Two halves of one whole.

It's why he acts and does what he does. He's incomplete and Yuji makes him feel less of such.

Well, I mention before in other posts... probably... but I believe in the whole reincarnation theory, I do. I think it's a fun idea. But! I don't mean Yuji being a reincarnation of Sukuna's twin. I do believe in that though. [As of now, that theory has been debunked.]

What if Yuji was a reincarnation of Sukuna himself?

Could it be that Sukuna may be "Yuji's biggest hater" because of the idea how your own worst enemy can be yourself?

That's really all I have to say for now.

***

Now I got something to add! As of 257, it's stated that Sukuna did indeed consume his twin in the womb (that bit I was right about) but Yuji isn't the reincarnated soul of that twin. It's his father, Jin Itadori.

But I still stand by my theory Yuji could be Sukuna's reincarnation via soul recycling or other means. Like, this whole time what if Sukuna was trying to shape Yuji into what he envisions because Yuji is him? Yuji is that piece of that's like... "what could have been". He's the good that Sukuna wants extinguished.

Simply, as it turns out if you apply the reveal of 257, Sukuna is like this cruel, evil "mentor" for his "nephew" that's he's looking out in his own weird, harsh way.

[laughroditee]

Okay, so this is a screenshot of Barry Sloane’s Spotify playlist that he made for Captain Price. He included “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails, which I thought was very interesting. I’d given some thoughts on a previous post reblogged from @staytrueblue about what I thought concerning the implications of its inclusion, but I thought it would be fun to make a headcanon of just how closer!price would show up in bed in fics. I wrote a lot of this at 3 AM when I was plagued with sudden insomnia, so I apologize if anything is hard to follow or, conversely, over-explanative. My brain juices are very bad. I hope I’m doing this right.

So, let’s take a look at the song lyrics in chunks and apply them to Price.

CW: we get a little religious, but it’s more like him worshipping you and not an actual religion. I just thought I’d warn you if that sort of talk bothers you. (It’s in the song lyrics, so…)

You let me violate you You let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you You let me complicate you

So we have some pretty negative, violent words here like “violate,” “penetrate” (which, we know what that means in this context obviously), and “complicate.” Still, it’s the inclusion of “desecrate” that I want to focus on here. To desecrate something is to “to treat a sacred place or thing with violent disrespect” meaning that closer!price views you as something sacred. Conversely, he’s applying all of these negative, violent words to himself, turning himself into not only an aggressor but one who acts against divine or holy things. In other words, he sees himself as a sinner or something profane. (We’re moving with the vocabulary of the song here.)

So why would closer!price think of himself in this way? Well, let’s look at one of his quotes from Modern Warfare (2019):

"We get dirty and the world stays clean. That's the mission."

John chooses to make this soul-sacrifice willingly. And he chooses this every time so that other people don't have to. This is His Duty™️. And he does it without complaint. But just because you choose something doesn't mean you like it. John is always driven to do The Right Thing™️, at least by his own moral compass, even if it means disobeying orders or shooting a US General in the face for betraying his team. (Chaotic Good king.) However, no choice is without consequence, even if it's merely subconscious. So, going by this line, closer!price views himself as dirty, and I think it's more than just blood on his hands. The atrocities he’s performed in order to protect his country and the world take their toll on the soul. But he accepts that.

At the same time, closer!price sees you as clean. He thinks you're out of his league, that he doesn't deserve you. He could be almost apologetic about wanting to be with you at first, not wanting to disrupt your nice and clean life with the darkness of war that lives within him. He might even resist you for as long as possible.

(Honestly a lot of this runs parallel to how I tend to interpret Simon, but there are a lot of differences there too. Simon, I think wears his dark underbelly very openly – just look at the guy’s design FFS, and personality. But Price’s shadow seems less obvious than Simon’s, and maybe that’s due to the latter’s additional childhood trauma on top of his military trauma.)

Getting back to the lyrics, let’s narrow in on the first parts of those lyrics: “you let me.” closer!price needs your consent, because if you let him “violate/desecrate/penetrate/complicate” you, someone so pure in his eyes, taking such a miserable sinner like him into their body, then he must have some chance at redemption. The path to his absolution lies in your acceptance of him into your body.

I broke apart my insides (Help me) I've got no soul to sell (Help me) the only thing that works for me Help me get away from myself

We get more into the broken/soulless imagery here, and his desperate desire to escape himself. Where else would he escape to but into you?

closer!price would probably want someone outside of the military, a safe haven when he's home and away from the battlefield. He wants to have a piece of that world he's keeping clean, even if he doesn't feel like he deserves it and feels separate from it. You are his link to his own humanity, which he feels is actively eroding with every mission.

closer!price would think you're cute talking about your normal civilian life, but not in a patronizing way. He takes it as evidence that his sacrifice is worth it. That, because your life is quiet and mundane, he’s doing his job right.

closer!price would also try to keep you as far away from his work life as possible, to protect you and keep you clean, not for him but for your own good.

I wanna fuck you like an animal I wanna feel you from the inside I wanna fuck you like an animal

Barry also included many songs on the playlist with “beast” in the title, which goes back to the whole “I’m not human, I’m an animal” thing, echoing that loss of humanity.

My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God

closer!price may not be a religious man, but fucking you is transcendental for him. Every time is a blessing. Every noise you make is a benediction.

He isn't needy as much as he becomes existential, as if being inside you were a matter of his continued existence on this plane. He becomes weak in this moment because this becomes a fight for his soul. (Not that he would force anything, because that's not okay.)

He would worship your body, your temple, filling you with his cum as if this is how you draw the sins out of his body. And he is absolved. For now.

You can have my isolation You can have the hate that it brings You can have my absence of faith You can have my everything

Here, we’re seeing this idea of giving over to the divine (which is you). The stripping away of all the bullshit that’s in closer!price’s head as he’s lost in fucking you.

you tear down my reason (Help me) it's your sex I can smell (Help me) you make me perfect Help me become somebody else

Here, you can see him getting more animalistic or primal from the loss of his ability to reason (what are humans known for if not their power to reason?) to enhanced senses. You take away all of that for closer!price in an all-encompassing, deconstructive way. He sheds his identity when he’s with you, that identity of “Captain Price, soldier.” This is more of a “universal oneness” concept than a Biblical God here IMO; “help me become somebody else” is a plea for rebirth.

I wanna fuck you like an animal I wanna feel you from the inside I wanna fuck you like an animal My whole existence is flawed You get me closer to God Through every forest Above the trees Within my stomach Scraped off my knees I drink the honey Inside your hive You are the reason I stay alive

Boy’s not afraid to kneel. He will treat you like the deity you are. He basically lives for your p/bussy and is a giant fucking munch; I don’t know what else to say.

[lesfir]

Disclamer: I do not like the idea of the Spawn Astarion path and I prefer the Ascension. My thoughts. This is a criticism.

I like Ascended Astarion in that he literally waves red flags like during a socialist revolution. He's explicitly offering: to be his forever or not. If my Tav agrees - then Lord Astarion > Freedom and\or Lord Astarion = Freedom. The choice is made, if not then no. Spawn Astarion is an underground red flag activity. Waiting for dinoflagellate to bloom.

Spawn Astarion adjusts, his manipulations are subtler. He also convinces himself because of his co-dependency and complete disorientation in the world, that it's what he does right. He sincerely believes in a new picture of the world - "Good one". Not an Evil one - “Power is the main thing. There is a strong and a weak, the strong lives, the weak dies”, he sincerely tries, to understand the different and new. For whom and why? Astarion: I would understand if you wanted to go your own way. Player: Actually, I will go and do my own thing. Astarion: You - what? I didn't think you'd actually agree. Astarion: How dare you! After all I've done for you - after everything I've sacrificed!

This phrase by the Spawn Astarion during the break up.

How many times would Tav even have to hear that phrase? During quarrels and clashes of temper. Astarion has a huge temperament. (A!A shows how mutch) “After all I've done for you--” the manipulative phrase.

The mechanism is simple: you feel guilty and make concessions. It is time to pay back the debt, as if the manipulator is hinting to you. He plays the role of a victim, so resentful and helpless in front of you. It is also a hidden method of emotional control. When someone says, “After all I've done for you,” they are showing that what they did for you was not for you at all, but their own need to control you. To press on, creating feelings of guilt. That's how you can live with chronic guilt for years.

(a picture of "true freedom" - I don't think so. The "beginning of true freedom" - I don't think so either)

7k spawn souls - Spawn Astarion isn't shy at all about using this as “something I could trade for everything (I dreamed of)”, as a sacrifice. Not even for himself, be better, do right thing. For Tav. When he said “I'll understand if you go your own way” - he turns around 180 degrees and says he didn't really think so (but said the right thing, for Tav).

Astarion: Good, because selfless as I am, I really did not want to let you go.

Line for Dark Urge He also confirms that he really doesn't want to let go.

What would it be like if Spawn Astarion could keep Tav from letting go? After all, he “sacrifice” for them. The answer's right there. An Ascended Astarion is an Astarion who does what the hell he wants. His freedom is a permissiveness that has no limits on morality, law, anything. Spawn Astarion - looks like a nascent version of “nice guy” - I did the right thing and I sacrificed that for you, why are you leaving, how dare you. And you condemn me to this, an eternity in the night, alone? Spawn Aastarion lets Tav go, doing Tav a lot of moral damage, that will haunt their minds forever. Man, that's a red flag for me, btw.

Objectively something good, with sincere feelings, in the moment used as a tool, devalues it, hidden co-dependent guilt-inducing manipulations, to make you do what you were expected to do, “I've done so much for you!” He can covertly manipulate Tav's autonomy with sad puppy eyes. (which is creepy) A fight and he'll bite, causing guilt. And I don't think he won't. Given his dark side, what are the chances he doesn't lock Tav in his Underdark Palace around a horde of spawn. If I'm in the shadows, so are you - it's an angst plot. Tav: “I thought you'd changed” kind of thing.

What A!Astarion is doing is a contract with the devil. If it's yes, it's forever, if it's no, than say it straight away - that's the way he really want it, what and how he needs. Spawn Astarion expects this “forever” attitude, tacit agreement, for “doing the right thing”. Ascended Astarion is manipulative and toxic exactly as a Spawn Astarion. Both obviously co-dependent. Ascended Astarion is openly spouting all his evil stuff while in euphoria. Feeling alive again to the undead is a thing. Spawn on the contrary is disoriented, trying to be better, using that fact as a hidden manipulation. My Tav is not a “nice girl” and will not blame anyone for her decisions with phrases like “I sacrificed, I trusted you, how dare”. It was entirely her decision.

The real tragedy of Ascended Astarion is angst-"freedom?"-Tav judgmental stare from around the corner during a decadence party. Lucky for Astarion My Tav gets into Hades' chariot by herself and eats an apple and stuff. The tragedy of my Tav making someone learns be better, for an indeterminate number of years, among the hidden manipulations becoming their victim, trying to deal with Spawn Astarion's hidden red flags.

The tragedy of the Spawn Astarion, Tav who learns him to be a better person with their ideals, and he adjusts, expecting in return not to be alone at night, Tav will not see this wound and doesn't notice his hidden red flags, manipulation that he learns to use even more sophisticated.

[angelshizuka]

Unpopular opinion. Elena of Avalor should have ended with Estéban surrendering to the authorities knowing that he probably hasn’t done anything that could earn him any mercy, instead of that whole sacrifice thing. I know this isn’t popular with people, but it often takes more character to surrender knowing that you’ve probably done nothing that could earn you mercy, than to sacrifice your life for a loved one. Mark my words, there are many escaped convicts who would sacrifice themselves for their love ones if given the chance, but few of these people would surrender even if they have no long term plan to evade the authorities. Should we release from prison every convict who has ruined countless lives because they love their loved ones? Does that absolve them of everything? I like to think Elena still could have shown Estéban forgiveness and mercy, even if he hadn’t been granted the opportunity to sacrifice his life for her, if only because I pity him. Not sure he deserves forgiveness more than other convicts who have loved ones. The whole “sacrifice yourself for your loved ones” thing is overrated, while “surrendering to the authorities” is underrated.

I'm personally fine with the way Esteban's redemption went. Maybe not perfect, but I don't expect perfection from any story.

Sure, it would've probably been better if this was irl, but ngl, from a storytelling stand point the sacrifice plotline just usually works and I've never considered it overrated (when done right). At least to me it definitely worked in this show.

Also, isn't "surrending to the authorities" literally just Elena (and the counsil)? Even if he went to the guards first, they wouldn't be able to (legally) do anything without consulting Elena first. Which already happened when they banished him, and he also tried to plead with Elena before she disowned him. So, I can't imagine that being something Esteban would quickly consider to try again, especially if nothing has changed in the mean time.

The sacrifice also made the forgiveness magic more powerful, because I can't imagine it hitting nearly as hard if it happened on a regular tuesday when Esteban randomly turns himself in. Elena's forgiveness for him would've probably been a lot slower and less of a "moment". Compared to the sacrifice, where Elena had a lot to reflect on in only seconds, because losing a loved one, even when you're mad at them, puts a lot into perspective.

Anyway, I get having preferences and not always liking canon writing choices (I have my fair share of those), but in this case I can't imagine me liking this better than what we got.

[los-ninos-tortugas]

I wanna give this motherfucker the Peepaw treatment soooo badly and I don’t even know why

Maybe it’s cuz he doesn’t have the same self blaming, “it’s all my fault” hang ups that tends to get assigned to Rise F!Leo. No, all his bitterness is directed outwards. He felt like Donny abandoned them. He watched his father give his life to save him and his brothers only for that sacrifice to drive them all apart. He watched his brothers grow into (arguably) the worst possible versions of themselves.

And then that’s all gone, suddenly. How he gets back to the past or survives the fight with the Shredder, I have no idea. But everyone seems to have collectively Decided that Rise F!Leo can survive a laser blast that literally disintegrates him on screen and still end up back in the past anyway so I think anything goes really. The fact of the matter is he’s there, in a past that maybe doesn’t belong to him.

And it must be so strange because maybe he feels like he should be glad to have survived, to have been given this second chance but… I feel like he’d also feel so far removed from it all. He got so used to the way things were in his universe that he forgot how they used to be. Seeing Leo and Raph now, who still argue, yes, but who still have that brotherly bond, he must wonder if it will truly last. Donatello, maybe not his, but still as young as his last memory of him, who is the only other one who knows the world he came from, but Donatello only spent a short time there and was scarred by the experience. He can’t bring himself to let those thirty years weigh on his brother’s shoulders too. He was so angry when he first saw Donny again back in his world, but in the here and now all of that just bleeds out of him. This Donatello is still just a kid, like his brother when he disappeared, still just a kid. And his younger self, his younger self. Still so vibrant and optimistic, he doesn’t know how to be that anymore, he gave it up a long time ago because he had to. I almost wonder if they would be somewhat afraid to face each other. Young Mikey, afraid of the kind of person he could grow to be without his brothers, Michelangelo afraid to face what could have been, if maybe he’d just held onto hope a little longer.

Not even to mention seeing his father alive again, maybe wondering “is he proud of me? Is he proud of the ninja I became, even at such a terrible cost?” But he can never ask the question, he just can’t.

Seeing April and Casey again. Knowing that April will get to grow into her old age not as a hardened soldier but happy and free, as she always should have been, Casey by her side and he actually gets to grow old instead of dying young.

Everything is as it should have been, the life he wished he had gotten to be a part of, and now he’s here but… he’s different, because nothing went right for him. So how does he learn to live again? I wanna know.

[realmadridfamily]

Yesterday was a complete disaster... Let's hope this is a wake up call for everyone. The defense is a mess, the piece that linked midfield and defense is gone and not even all of the midfielders are covering this aspect. Jude is not shining like he used to, Mbappé is not on his right mind for some reason... Don't know what's going on with him (I read about the horrible accusations that I won't repeat here...).

What I want to say is that Ancelotti is no amateur, he's given this club a lot of trophies, if the season ends trophy less then maybe we can consider replacing him but I won't get off this ship because of this horrible result. If your rivals are better that forces you to step up, which is what barça did. Madrid will come around 🥹

It may sound strange, but Real Madrid have always benefited from such defeats. Sometimes you need something like this to come down to earth. Fans can also stop and appreciate what has happened so far. Especially those who have been laughing at Barca for the last while and now can't stand that the roles have been reversed. That also teaches a lot :) There is clearly some problem with Kylian because it's strange that such a player allows his opponents to catch him in so many offside positions. And look, we had so many chances to score! Who knows, maybe the narrative would be different now because nobody can tell me that Carlo is to blame for those offsides. Or missed opportunities. And no, I don't think it's because of what happened in Kylian's life recently, because this mental problem was visible at the end of his time at PSG. However, I believe that he will find the best version of himself this season. Jude is a bit of a victim of searching for the best possible system, but no one can tell me that he himself is doing something wrong. The fact that he does something different than last year, helps in defense, doesn't mean that he plays worse because he performs his new duties very well. But let's remember that there were times when Carlo had to sacrifice Cama or Tchou to put them in defense, in a position that wasn't theirs, and the same is happening now with Jude, but as the team improves I'm sure Jude will return to his place. And our defense? They are not focused at all and make childish mistakes. This also affects how the team should be set up to help them. However, I have the impression that our team always has problems after an international tournament. I don't know what influences it, but after the World Cup in Qatar there were also problems.