#who can't relate?

[laski-and-sage]

Integra: Are you okay...?

Alucard: Oh my god no. But for the purpose of this conversation, I'm fine.

[hearthmistress]

We love an inappropriately excerpted aesthetic Shirley Jackson quote!!!!!

Well, of course!!! Plus, is there not anything more Jackson-like than spreading some quiet creeping horror over some mundanity?

[ceilidho]

Okay but ghost who is turned on by the size difference between you two. Ghost who notices one day that maybe your forearm and his dick are about equal lengths and thickness. Now he can’t stop imagining the bulge it would create in your tummy when he fucks you slow and deep. Ghost, who is guilty of manspreading whenever you walk into the room and lives for the blush that paints your cheeks as you notice his size, and he can’t help but puff his chest up with pride. Omg or ghost who remains unbeatable when you two spar, pinning you down on the mats so easily it’s laughable, pushing his pelvis into yours as one hand holds both your wrists above your head and he is absolutely living for the doe eyed look you give him from underneath. Just giving you my ghost brainrot of the hour lmao

His brain short-circuits when his whole hand easily fits around your wrist. He stops you from grabbing something and something thrums through him at the difference in size, but it digs in when he notices how wide your eyes go. Just staring down at his gloved hand on your wrist.

It's even worse if Ghost notices how much his fingers overlap around your ankle when he's pulling you back down the bed when you try to crawl away. He loves the way your breath hitches when your fingers barely touch after wrapping around his cock. When his boots frame your feet when he's fucking you from behind, it makes his blood pressure spike to see the two side by side.

He always makes you sit down first whenever you go out for a drink or stop at a diner for food. That way he's the first thing anyone sees before their eyes fall on you, and they never get too interested if they register the sheer size of him first. Their eyes sort of glance off you after that.

[is-this-even-relatable]

Misfortune Teller

tldr: An older Danny, apprentice to Clockwork, does a lot of field work across dimensions, resetting the timeline, queuing future events, and who knows what else. Occasionally, he warns people about such upcoming possibilities, to set them on the right path. How, you might ask? Well in this case... as a wandering fortune teller.

Crack-fic (oh god, it's getting long and my logic brain won't let it remain as crack) where Danny becomes Clockwork's apprentice after getting his GED. Living his infinite afterlife to the fullest. Inspired by this tumblr post.

Working for Clockwork had been... interesting so far. At first, Danny got frustrated by how vague and cryptic Clockwork was. He'd just shunt Danny off to some ancient time with a few words, his own time medallion (Danny carried it everywhere with him now), and then pop back into the portal, leaving Danny with only the faintest idea of where to go.

Eventually, after enough time (ha!) spent around Clockwork, Danny figured out that it just basically meant that he had free reign and to do whatever he wanted. Because if he went on the wrong path, (like that one time in Pompeii when he had almost caused the volcano to explode a few years too early), Clockwork would just pop on by, say another few cryptic words, and then it'd all be fine and dandy, or as he liked to say, "All is as it should be... Now stop practicing your wail by an active volcano."

After telling Jazz about that (it was supposed to be funny, not concerning), she just sighed and shook her head, with a forlorn "think before you act, Danny!" but hey, it'd turned out fine so far, so who cares how he does what Clockwork asks him to do, as long as it gets done, right? Even if it's with a liiiiitle more mischief than strictly required.

Besides. Danny was the one who had been doing time shenanigans across millennia, not Jazz. And he thought he'd been getting pretty good at it too! He'd actually started giving himself a different made-up background for each universe he visited. Sam and Tucker were helping him keep up with the identities on a spreadsheet, so if he had to go back to one he'd already visited, he'd remember who he'd said he was supposed to be.

---

He was on a call with them one evening while haunting Jazz's apartment, doing just that, when he felt a familiar tingle in the back of his throat, as well as a heightened awareness of the seconds passing by, that always accompanied his mentor's appearance.

Sam was talking about his past stint posing as a god of death when he cut in. "Hey- sorry to interrupt, Sam- Clocky's here, guys, I gotta dip."

"Aw, come on! We hardly talked any this past week since you passed your certifications, man," Tucker complained.

Danny rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yeah, yeah. Partly on you too though, you've been caught up outside of class, and Sam's schedule is nearly the opposite of yours."

Sam hummed in agreement despiter Tucker's scoff.

Danny missed hanging out with them as much as they had in high school, but hey, life goes on. Or at least, theirs did, to college. After finally flunking out of Casper High, he'd taken some time to get used to his responsibilities in the ghost zone, and when he had, he realized that he didn't really have much enthusiasm or timeleft for his human life.

And he didn't really want to go back home either.

But Jazz had made him tie up any loose ends before he noped-off to god knows where, which frankly, he had to thank her for. Getting his GED took a few years, but it was an accomplishment that could be attributed to Danny Fenton, no ghostliness required. Then he was able to let that tether go free.

Pulled out of his musings by a few more grumbles from Tucker, Danny said his goodbyes, promising to call the next time they were all available.

After hanging up, Danny swiveled around, anticipation already lighting up his eyes an ethereal green.

Clockwork, for his part, had been waiting patiently through Danny's lengthy goodbyes. Although he supposed that it tracked for the watcher of time to be patient. With his job, it'd be a nightmare if he wasn't.

"Phantom," Clockwork spoke, calm as always. "I have some tasks I need you to complete as my apprentice."

And Danny, always ready for adventure, didn't need him to explain any further. "Sure! When do you need me to be?"

Clockwork smiled at that. "I am fortunate you are eager. Follow me."

---

Danny popped into existence in this universe with a burst of cold air and static electricity. He found himself hovering by a clocktower above a sprawling, gothic city. Smog and light pollution obscured the stars above him, to his disappointment. He comforted himself with the fact that he'd probably have all the time he wanted to fly someplace less populated to see them later.

He started off by familiarizing himself with the city. As he flew, he followed the trail of power and met the resident city-spirit, a spooky- but kind underneath- woman draped in black lace, who told him her name was Gotham. He spoke in length with her about this universe, its heroes, and her knights. On that, she was very enthusiastic... or at least Danny thought she was, her projected emotions belaying much more than her gloomy exterior. She told him how her knights had been through a lot and would need some guidance fighting the darkness that pooled in her deepest corners, smiling with too much glee, filling lungs with fear, and terrorizing with cold hard bullets.

Danny could sense that the dangers she spoke of were growing in power, ever slowly. The longer they shadowed people's minds and hearts, an intangible thing grew that lent them more otherworldly pull than their physical forms had right to hold.

That must be what he was sent here for.

But... they were weak, pitifully so for him, infinite king as he was. And besides, he wasn't here in that sense. He was a messenger, a simple apprentice. And he could do this however he wanted.

Cue his talk with Lady Gotham, and subsequent idea to arm her knights. With what? Well, he figured knowledge would be a start. Flying high above the city invisibly, Danny noticed a sea of colors and lights by what appeared to be the city's pier. He flew down, noting that it appeared to be the setup spot for a travelling circus or carnival of some kind.

He considered what to do. One of Lady Gotham's troubles was a madman clown, right? Well maybe he'd be attracted to his ilk here... and with the danger came the knights. Maybe he could catch one of them here?

Danny was floating around at the entrance and beginning to formulate a plan when a flyer caught his eye. Looking for a mystic to read fortunes. URGENT!

Hadn't Clockwork said something about fortunes? And he hadn't made an identity in this universe yet...

A mischievous smile crept across Danny's face, splitting it in two with far too many teeth.

---

Half a city away, a man in all black, perched on the very same clocktower that Phantom had Appeared by, shivered as he felt an ominous premonition about his sanity in the near future...

Said man quickly opened his comms to check in with his many, many kids. Yet even after hearing back from each, he still felt apprehensive.

Somewhere even further, Clockwork laughed.

---

And that's how Danny found himself seated at a fortune teller's booth at a pier in Gotham, two days later, for the Tricksy Traveling Circus's grand opening.

[masterhandss]

Have you ever been curious about the EnStars MC Anzu, what she does in EnGirls and EnStars, and what information we could gather about her from each story?

For Paradise's 10th Anniversary, I made an "Anzu Story Breakdown doc" where you can read what she does & any info about her in each story🌸⭐️‼️ (twitter post)

(currently doesn't contain EnStars stories, but they are in progress and will be added once they are finished per year)

09.14.24 - Added EnGirls and extra materials 09.15.24 - Added story names in the outline for easier navigation 10.08.24 - Added the following ES! stories: Marching Band, Sweets, Duel, Hero Show, Tanabata Festival, Pool Opening, Test of Courage, Restaurant, Quarrel Festival, Holiday, First Shrine Visit, Amusement Park Show, WANTED!!!, Robin Hood, Passionate Carmen, Sweet Halloween, Beasts, Buddy

[remcadll]

Wow crazy how it’s been two months since mha ended. what the hell was that btw

[petr1kov]

here's the scene i've mentioned before where nemesis and melinoë talk about hypnos, for those who wanted to see it!

[knockknockitsnickels]

I think this is one of my favorite lines from the Wraith route because of (imo) how much the meaning changes depending on if you got there via Spectre or Nightmare. For Spectre, it honestly strikes me as a genuine question. Why are you doing this to her? If you're on the Spectre route, you presumably already know the Narrator can't really be trusted, since you had to reject his reward to get here. What are you hoping to gain from continuing to hurt her? For Nightmare, it honestly just makes me sad. As the Shifting Mound describes her, "She desires only companionship, but the only thing she knows is how to hurt." This line feels like a plea from someone who genuinely doesn't understand why you keep rejecting her. She wants to be with you, but she just can't understand how to do that in a way which doesn't hurt you.

[booasaur]

Special Ops: Lioness - First and last kisses

[bluewolfangel01]

Ghost Lilith

Anybody else sometimes forget about Lilith outside of season 1 unless she's brought up again on, what feels like, rare occasions?

Sometimes I do

I kinda wish she had more of a presence in later seasons, the other season stories are fine without don't get me wrong but I think it would just be cool to have a ghost/spirit Lilith pop up every now and then that only Mc is aware of or something like that

Ive seen a headcanon from someone that sometimes ghost Lilith helps Mc cheat in tests or they just chat sometimes and I love it to bits

I like to imagine that sometimes Mc will go to Lilith's room (bet yall forgot about the room too!) in the HoL and just chat with her ghost to either de-stress or have some time away from everyone else, especially when the brothers get really rowdy

I feel like when Mc is more worn down then normal and they don't feel like they could go to any of the brothers or other boys, they'd go to Lilith and that she'd try her absolute best to help her descendant/brothers' lover cause fate only knows what would happen if Mc actually snapped from everything

And also cause she cares a lot for them in general

Ghost Lilith would definitely play sneaky pranks on all the brothers and she'd either get Mc in on em or would make sure they were present when she does em

Ghost Lilith and Mc are quite the devious pair, maybe even more so the Satan and Belphie

I mean one is a ghost who is only able to be truly noticed by 1 person, and that said person is so powerful they have to wear a special op ring so they don't make the 3 realms collapse from their mere existence

Mc and Lilith be having tea in her room while the rest of the house is on fire and being destroyed frfr

Credit to @sister-lucifer for the divider

[sillygoofyqueer]

Itd be really funny if the demonic court saw binghe having so many demonic crow feather things (gifted by shen yuan) and thought he was going on a killing spree and binghe being offended since he’d never hurt his a-yuan

I also like to think that shen yuan spends a lot of time in his crow form. Just binghe making a massive dinner for a crow while the wives stare in in confusioned jealousy, shen yuan using binghes hair as a nest to nap in or standing on his shoulder when hes too lazy to fly. Maybe even joining him in the court (cant tell me shen yuan wouldnt find that interesting)

Oh, it'd be hilarious if Binghe starts wearing this crow demon jewellery, slowly building up every other week or so, and the demon court is just like "???" but nobody really wants to talk about it. One day, someone makes the awful decision to ask/congratulate/ass kiss about the "massacre" he has been committing on the crow demons, people chiming in about how irritating said demons were, and how the demon lord is doing them a great service by clearing out the population. Then a crow flies in through the window and perches upon the emperor's shoulder like it belongs there, rubbing its beak against Binghe's face in greeting. Binghe, on the other hand, has never looked more murderous in his life, his touch gentle as he scratches under the crow's chin. The demons quickly regret their attempts at getting onto Binghe's good side. Oh, Shen Yuan most definitely spends a lot of time in his crow form around the palace specifically. The idea of Binghe being in a meeting and everyone having to try and pretend that there isn't a crow making itself very comfortable in his curls, even using its beak to rearrange certain locks around it is so wholesome to me. On one occasion, it tugs a lock out of Binghe's face and the emperor has never in his life looked more affectionate as he follows the curl with his eyes, watching it slowly disappear from his sight. The wives definitely get jealous, the louder ones complaining only to be met with a harsh "Shen Yuan is my biggest priority". There's definitely going to be a scene where one of the wives or something are trying to kill the crow, following it into Binghe's chambers while the man himself is absent, only to find a handsome man preening his wings in there. They have no idea where the crow went.

[demonslayedher]

Wind down doodle

[wormtime123]

thinking hard. about last life grian saying about etho “he has no loyalty to you, he’s just immediately teamed up with the next guy that’s come along. if he loved you why didn’t he give you a life" and secret life etho saying about grian “he had to move on with his life, what was he supposed to do, mourn the whole time?" both projecting their own reasonings for ‘abandoning’ certain alliances when they turned south. these two being teamed and staying loyal until the end. can anyone hear me

[werewolfsmile]

Alec Hardison works best under pressure

Especially time pressure. He'd probably disagree and say he works better when he has time to plan and no pressure, but I mean c'mon, the evidence speaks for itself.

Nate knows it after one job with Hardison - probably soon than that, let's be honest. The others figure it out at the same time or in quick succession. And they proceed to throw Hardison - completely unawares - into situations where his prowess is needed under a time crunch.

Hardison: Great, we made it in! Now how are we doing this complicated next part that involves electronics in less than 2 minutes? The whole team: No idea, that's your job. Hardison: .......... Wait, what?! The whole team: 90 seconds.

And the best part is, he always delivers! Need to defuse a bomb on a plane with only moments to spare? Call Alec Hardison who's not even on the damn plane and has probably never defused a bomb in his life! Need to break into a car that has an 'impenetrable' security system in under a couple minutes while a whole bunch of car thieves watch? Call Alec Hardison who definitely does not know the first thing about car jacking!

I just love how this keeps happening and, every time, Hardison is keen to be involved and keep the con running smoothly, but always gets completely blindsided when they want him to do something that doesn't fall under any of the specialties, so it must fall under his.

Alec Hardison is king and you will never convince me otherwise.

[coquelicoq]

what i like especially about the pronouns in the goblin emperor is that this language doesn't just have the T-V distinction (aka informal vs. formal second-person pronouns, in this case 'thou' vs. 'you'), it also has informal and formal first-person pronouns. having BOTH of these distinctions in the same language lets you fine-tune your tone by mixing and matching. with only one axis of formality, when you use informal pronouns, are you being familiar in an intimate way, or in an insolent or dismissive way? when you use formal pronouns, are you being polite or standoffish? you can't tell just from the pronouns; there's ambiguity. but a language where you can use a formal first-person pronoun in the same sentence as an informal second-person pronoun allows you to distance yourself (via the formal first) while also being familiar (via the informal second), thereby achieving the conversational tenor known to linguists as Fuck Thee Specifically.

[iliothermia]

Anons are off because I'm done with people lying in my inbox, insulting me, and just piling on. I am one person who is trying to deal with hatred from multiple sides but those sending these messages see themselves as just one person throwing in their opinion because you can't see the other 15 messages I get insulting me for the same thing. I feel like I've been clear about my stance and why I function how I do in my small space online. If you find issue with how I function then please just unfollow me and leave me alone. I'll be offline for a while but I appreciate everyone who's sent me caring messages and things to consider a lot. I'm genuinely disappointed though, that this all comes from me saying I love my Jewish community and I hope they're doing okay- My first message directed at supporting other Jews I've made, after months of reaffirming my care for Palestine. Stay safe yall.