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Bad End, Chosen: Part 3
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The Dark Lord's castle was under seige... but it it felt very far away. Most things did, these days. Cacophonous booms and terrible screams wrent the air, somewhere beyond the greeting chamber's walls. People were dying. Monsters were dying. I... I should care. D..Did I care? I could not remember anymore.
A warm hand continued to pet my head.
My Grandmaster sat upon his throne. Unamused. There were pests that would not die. They stood in our way, he said. I... I could not understand. Yes, Grandmaster. Of course, Grandmaster. (I was so far away, Grandmaster. My body did not feel real. Nor my own. Had I left? Why?)
The world shook. Again and again. An irritated inhale from above me. Grandmaster did not like wasteful, showy, displays of power. They were needless peacocking, he said. Yet... yet my Failure Master enjoyed them. Said magic was to be enjoyed. Meant to be shared. A gift.
But he was a Failure Master.
We do not need him.
.....my head hurt. Grandmaster was kind though. Loved me so very, very much. He stroked my hurting head, as I sat, pretty and leaning against him, at his feet. A good Grandlearner. Dressed in soft and beautiful robes. Dark as night. Red, red, RED as the blood of my me-!
My headache spiked. I winced. Pretty jewels tinkling softly as the thought slipped away. Or... at least... I THINK I was thinking a thought? Was I? Probably not. My head hurts.
It's easier not to think.
I turn my face, to tuck it against my Grandmaster's leg. The soft fabric of his leggings is, as always, cool and blissfully fresh against my face. It is a miracle the delicate, ornate accessories I wear don't catch on something. Like so many drops of blood. The thought tries so desperately to catch, but there is nothing to hold. My mind is mist.
A pleased noise, as my Grandmaster stokes my hair.
I am a Good Grandlearner.
The grand doors crashed open. A painfully loud noise that spears my aching head. The sounds of battle have slowly grown more and more distant. Running feet. They are here. The wretched Beloved. Here to end this little play. Why... why does it feel like hope? I hate them. I feel nothing. I miss one.
My... my head hurts.
"MASTER! It ENDS TO-!" Shouts a familiar voice. Once, it was family in this unfamiliar world. Or at least... I had hoped it would be. "....no. Learner. You... YOU MONSTER! Master, what have you DONE TO HER!?"
There is such horror in his voice. Such grief. As though I am already dead. Truely... truely he IS a Failure Master. That he would not even fight for me. That I would, only now, become relevant again. Master... oh my Master... am I nothing but a prop in your story? Motivation for you to fight on? You do not even see me... do you?
"Disgusting."
My Grandmaster has finally lost his patience. Rising to his feet. Not as my Master's Master. But as Alaric Blight, the Arch-Mage of Red, Dark Lord, and final boss of the game. With him, the cycle will begin again. But oh... OH. His wrath is a terrible thing.
The so called Heros have gathered behind my Failure Master. SHE is there. Short hair the color of sunlight, eyes like dawn. Her mere presence cuts through the mist that has swallowed my mind. Slowly, relentlessly, but enough. I can... can claw my way.. with bloody mental hands... to something like aware.
I wish I could laugh.
She looks so delicately horrified. A proper Protagonist facing "horrors". Ha ha... this? Oh, little Saint. This is nothing. They made you weak by shielding you. And now? Now we may all die for it. I... I hope your love story was worth it. Now die, so this can finally end.
The battle is pathetic. Not a single one of them worth even a fraction of the brave souls that once gave their lives for me. For their kingdom and countrymen. They flail and jump around like grasshoppers. Call out attacks like children trying to impress. But dispite it all... they have the very GODS on their side. And it holds an unfair advantage.
One that they ultimately? Waste.
Die. Like vermin. And I can not even be glad for it. Because I know they have learned nothing. WILL learn nothing. They will continue on to be selfish and spoiled forever. Favored children at the cost of us all.
But... they did free me. And for that? I can almost forgive them. Almost. The so called "assassin" dropped one of his blades. More like flung them everywhere. But it makes no difference. It is close enough. I do not watch as my Grandmaster gives his speech. Sneering down at the God's favorite brat. She offends him on a visceral level.
He plans to rip out her heart. Make me EAT it to steal some of her power.
If she is not dead, the cycle does not yet repeat. And he is more then powerful enough to keep her alive with out vital organs. But... but I know. I KNOW! He can not TRUELY bring back the dead. Only their meat, in shambling and mindless service. He is distracted. And I?
I Will Be Free.
The knife is sharp. So fine it barely hurts. But oh, oh it takes everything I am not to choke loud enough to be heard. He would turn. Stop my death. I... I can not allow that. It will take mere moments. After all, once and deep, right across the neck. Already I feel cold. My eyesight grey and limbs weak. The knife falls to my lap, the noise muffled by the ornate skirts.
He turns too late, a heart in his hand, to see I have defied him. Bidded my time. I am not weak. Not so easily kept and conquered, Dark Lord. I fought to defy you. I... defy.. y..ou... sti..ll....
And so the Cycle Ends. And So it Begins.
The Gods don't have all the Endings yet.
#threepandas#yandere#yandere x reader#platonic yandere#yandere otome#yancore#captured reader#brainwashing#brainwashed reader#who breaks out of it#yandere otome isekai#otome#tw suicide#but its not permanent#tw gore#my man Alaric wants them to become gods by eating them#suuuuper stable#a+ plan#no notes#mage reader#bad end chosen au#bad end chosen
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The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind
Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal, the real Light of Mankind.
It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.
#bruce offended parent and signals biggest fan wayne#hes so petty about it during JL meetings. he shuts down all the lights on the watchtower#Batman we cant see#well thats not a problem cause the light of mankind should be able to light up the room while stating directly at superman who just#looks so resigned#Tim floods the internet with pictures of Duke using his powers and fighting villians all with the hashtag theRealLightOfMankind#Duke is having the time of his light#he poses for Tim and makes rainbows on days it rains and poses like sailor moon#its a fun joke for Duke#its a matter of life or death for the rest of them#Dick has to stop Damian from breaking out the kryptonite not knowing that Jason has already stolen it and is heading for metropolis#batfamily#batfam#bruce wayne#batman#signal#duke thomas#tim drake#red robin#dick grayson#nightwing#superman
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Like does the high guard know about what’s been going on or
#transformers#maccadam#Megatron#transformers one#starscream#soundwave#shockwave#d-16#tf one#megs: we were suppose to have tcogs? :(#starscream: they’ve been RIPPING OUT bots’ tcogs before they online???#I’d like to think everyone gets along somewhat in the beginning because megatron is like. a kid to them#that’s a teenager who just went through his first break up#I haven’t drawn him much yet but I can feel myself falling deeper into the soundwave hole#he calls to me
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DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989) dir. Peter Weir
#neilperryedit#dpsedit#deadpoetssocietyedit#neil perry#dps#dead poets society#tuserkaren#mialook#useraish#dailyflicks#neil perry makes me sob every goddamn time#especially when he says i'm trapped with this laugh but then it fades and his smile drops and your heart just breaks#bc look how excited he was to act in the beginning#he's got a dream and he's so determined to go after it#but the reality of the situation is he's trapped#and then at the end with his i was good i was really good#bc he was ! he puts his whole heart out there#and his father just stomped on it because he doesn't see neil for who he really is and forces him to conform to whatever he wants for neil#and just ahhhhh#i don't know even know how to it put into words#it's the transition from future to present to past#*mine#*mygifs
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People exist who actually want the Master to be written out of the show? Even temporarily? They’re like…the only other reoccurring character. The only other active character that can be recasted. Almost as central and iconic to the show as Cybermen or Daleks. Infamous for coming back from the dead. The Doctor’s person.
#I was so pissed when I found this out?#luckily it seems to be a minority and more just want a break from the character#the master#Missy#Doctor who#Thoschei#wow I didn’t expect this to be so popular lol#woooow#I agree that we need at least a season break from them#but if 15 doesn’t get to meet the Master I’ll be sad
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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me since april 19th
#taylor swift#i love you taylor#ts ttpd#ttpd era#taylor swift ttpd#ttpd#the tortured poets department#the tortured poets department taylor swift#taylor swift the tortured poets department#thank you aimee#the black dog#i hate it here#i can fix him (no really i can)#fortnight#post malone#the tortured poets society#my boy only breaks his favorite toys#fresh out the slammer#the smallest man who ever lived#the alchemy#the albatross#so long london
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adrien tell ur mom to leave me alone !
#rip emilie agreste u would’ve loved breaking dawn pt. 1#and family vlogger youtube channels#and AI#my art#emilie agreste#ml#she’s plaguing me. can you tell#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#gabriel agreste#nathalie sancoeur#i think it’s so swag that peacock holders don’t get masks#they just turn purple#the peacock miraculous made everyone slay#except for gabe. that man couldn’t slay if his life depended on it. he only knows how do get uglier.#anyway shout out to the emilie agreste who lives in my brain. that girl is crazy#thirteen#eye strain#tw eyestrain#eyestrain
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pvp civ nation...... this aint much but pls take my contribution for this series bc im going insane i love hate this man so much get him out of my head
#senart#pvp civilization#pvp civ#I'LL MAKE A PROPER ONE I SWEARR I JUST NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MYSYSTEM FIRST#if it turns out he gets a bad ending in ep 6 i dont think i'll be ok like#he deserves a good ending . or a villain arc at least. he deserves to go batshit crazy after how everyone treated him#ALSOO the chekovs gun video journal device thing?? The excessive 4th wall breaking?#Is it just me or does jt feel like evbo is gonna lose his memory/already lost his memory and was sent to the wood sword lvl with tabi#or like . Idk?? It feels kind of truman show ish. Well maybe not that but its just the vibe im getting w the way that everyone has their-#-own secrets. How the diamond swords seems to know who evbo n tabi is. How princezam knows about the diamond swords#and then theres also parrot whos just?? Weird overall?? Idk whats going on w him but i need to know his backstory wdym u think evbo will-#-hate you if he knows what you did??#ANYWAY BACK TO THE VIDEO JOURNAL AND POTENTIAL MEMORY LOSS.#I dont want jt to go that way (mostly bc i dont want to see evbo suffer more than he already did) but it rlly does seem like its heading to#that direction w the way that it also has become a way to narrate what he went through (ie when the ep shows his attempts to beat the-#gold sword lvl but hes narrating it from the future. from his video journal. where he already beat the lvl)#im going insane#Wait also what i meant by the truman show vibe in relation to the excessive 4th wall breaks it makes it sound like pvp civ is just a -#simulation#wait i just remembered its the matrix not that mb umm#anyways.#empty chattering
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sometimes u just gotta. mini itfs. to cope.
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#i sketched the pose intending to draw them normally but then i thought. nah i wanna draw real Chunky shapes today im keeping them small#i dont usually break out the chibi style fr anything other than .scribbles#u know canon is in a state when tumblr user hinamie starts drawing chibi#i dont even really know if calling this chibi is accurate tbh . its chibi compared 2 what i normally draw but still#who cares honestly . they r Squishy and drawing them made me happy
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wrestling to be the first to greet you (they broke into your house)
#null rot#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#they say it doesnt matter who gets greeted first but then go into a full out brawl to be the first.... they probably break things and then#fight again to be the second who gets greeted and then again for third.. an.d. again for fourth... then one more time for-#GYAHHHHHHHH#LIKE BRO THEY JUST LOOK LIKE THE TYPE TO FIGHT OVER YOU#THEY FIGHT NORMALLY LIKE SIBLINGS BUT THEY RAKE IT A STEP FURTHER CAUSE THEY'RE DEMONS BUT IT'S NORMAL TO THEM#AND WHY IS ZOHA THE STRONGEST???? YOUNGER = STRONGER????? PHYSICALLY?????? IM SEEING IT THAT WAY#IN THAT CASE ITD MAKE SENSE SINCE THE OLDEST IS HANTENGU HIMSELF..... AND HES...... HIM#i always see sekido losing wrestling battles and Aizetsu being the one to win if its pure strength alone#bUT if theyre playing dirty i can see the turning tables...... but maybe thats for another day....#GYAH FUCK THE POWER SCALING BETWEEN THE FOUR BRO I NEED TO KEEP GOING#THESE MFS ARE TESTING MY ABILITIES WITH HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO KEEP DRAWING THEM...#FOR NOW LOOK HOW MUCH THEYRE DUMBASSES#and yes. the crotch shot to urogi was intentional on aizetsu's part. hes so subtle mean girl coded to me
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wind breaker / please share some of your burdens with us
#artists on tumblr#fanart#mint archives ; art#wind breaker#wind breaker fanart#sakura haruka#suo hayato#nirei akihiko#furin trio#FURIN TRIO YOU ARE VERY DEAR TO ME#and this chapter lives rent free in my head#to have friends who break you out of your self sabotaging spirals????#SND TELL YOU TO SHARE YOUR BURDENS WITH THEM#THE SUPPORT SYSTEM????? DAMN!!!
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still i think the one of the more fun differences drawn between illario and lucanis that was lost would be illario's ability to endear himself to others but serious lack of empathy, vs. lucanis' (self perceived) inability to be charming but how much he cares. it's interesting that the game has gone with the "lucanis' ability vs illario's lack thereof" because i think illario being the dellamorte 'best in show dog' vs. lucanis' attack dog would have made me so unwell.
lucanis is... awkward. he's not unlikable, because he is usually very polite, but he doesn't speak much and only seems to care about the other dellamortes. he once sent viago de riva a knife with no note (who knows what he could have meant by this). he does what caterina asks of him, and by his own admission, cannot say no to her. he is a dramatic and prolific killer, and that makes how untouchable he is even worse.
and the crows like illario, sure, AND he's a good assassin! he's even a good crow! he's so good that he can make lucanis smile, and so he is the charming, sociable one. he's the one that stays in treviso and can be relied upon to care, illario's even the one people prefer over caterina and lucanis!
but illario is decoration. he's the prize poodle, and even if poodles were bred to be working dogs, nobody will ever pick him to protect the house over the german shepherd that regularly mauls intruders. anyways the analogy is getting away from me. the point i'm trying to make is that i want illario to have a different kind of jealousy/hatred that's not just over 'being bad at killing' but also an arrogant loathing for everyone around him that is getting harder to hide, because they've forgotten he can bite and is just itching to rip someone's jugular out. illario is very good at hiding his family resemblance to caterina, while lucanis suffers under his grandmother's, and his own, reputation.
#not helped that these ideas are probably fostered by caterina. she doesnt WANT lucanis to have FRIENDS she wants him to KILL THINGS lol#and her perceiving illario as someone who wants but wont rise against her would have been interesting#so she allows his charm and friendliness etc. because she wants him to ingratiate the house to other houses#she doesnt want him out the picture. she NEEDS him there to make people like lucanis. illario just isnt content with that#i will shut up about this. i promise.#like i wont. but im trying#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#and also i want illario to have a little more manipulative asshole going on he's not believable enough in game omg#i think the main issue i have is that lucanis should have . maybe. been a bit less agreeable. SORRY#but it would have been fun to see crow-like defensiveness slowly break away to reveal a caring polite and kind man#or at least a slow understanding of lucanis-language. like he said 'i dont care' but he meant 'i dont mind'#raised by a grieving and also repressed old italian woman will do this to you#thoo. i was pleasantly surprised at how sweet he was in the game to start but i think parallel wise this could have been fun is all#veilguard spoilers#dragon age#and also really sorry that this was brought upon by someone calling him a pursedog man in tags#which was very funny for 5 minutes and then i was like actually i can do something with this
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Q: Why hasn't the SAG-AFTRA strike been resolved?
A:
#yep that's right it's because of four greedy billionaires#four greedy billionaires who have publicly stated their goal is to starve us out of our homes and make us lose our health insurance#four greedy billionaires who spend more on shoes than most actors make in a year#this is why we need to break up the entertainment monopolies#bring on usa vs paramount act 2#union strong#sagafta
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【Smoke】 The reunion of tristamp Eriks and Wolfwood
this was based on a vashwood week prompt from twt^^
A wild Milly has appeared!!! Can't wait for best girl!!!
#trigun#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#meryl stryfe#milly thompson#vashwood#my art#hyped for season 2 yippee#ww wears vash's coat while he spends 2 years looking for him#i cant be convinced otherwise#that was the first comic i drew in ages!!! trigun really got me out of my artblock🙏🙏#when you think about it eriks wouldn't know about what happened to roberto </3#who's gonna break it to him...#SHAGGY HAIR WOOWOO#i just wanna ruffle his hair<3#tristamp spoilers i guess?#raepliica_art
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#mine#doctor who#dwedit#david tennant#millie gibson#dw spoilers#:D#ok i decided i needed to make some gifs today before the work week starts!!!#3 more weeks until it's summer break!!!!!#this week is going to be Very Busy AGAIN#but i have to hand in the report cards this week so i hope i won't be too tired to make more gifs later on#ANYWAYS#rogue was great#sad that they didn't get jonathan groff to sing in this episode though#can't believe we're coming up on the 2 parter finale already :(#but i cannot wait to find out who susan twist actually is!!!!#ok i have one more gifset i want to make brb
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