#who am i kidding ive survived a lot of shit

[theragingbluwaffle]

Ive been away from Tumblr for a long while because ive been going through a lot of stuff. From being basically homeless, to being robbed, being sued, having my identity stolen.... Things have just been a mess and somehow, i managed to change careers. I got my CDL and things have started looking up, its probably been the best thing that's happened to me and im thankful for that change.

[anns-works]

Ok so i've got something that yall would probably hate me for. But ive been holding this simmering pot of angst for a while and the first thing i was taught is to share, so suffer with me.

New ROTTMNT AU:

Rather than being the only one out of his brothers to survive in the no-good-very-bad-horrible future, Leo is the only brother who dies.

Okay okay okay.

But i personally like to think that after the krang come out everything goes to shit in the bad timeline everyone goes oh fuck and start teaming up right? Human yokai cryptids mutants– none of that matters as long as you got eachothers back.

And after the initial stumbles the brothers start their active participation in the resistance.

Heres the thing.

Leo is genuinly terrifying at coming up with a plan. Kid went toe to toe with motherfucking Big Mama and came out victorious. Big Mama, as if the most terrifying yokai crime boss Big Mama. Kid came out with a smile. Its safe to say his strategies were incredibly effective and it kinda pissed off a couple of people.

Military dude 1: I can't believe i'm following a plan made by a 16 yo mutanat turtle.

Military dude 2: Your just upset the kid called out all the flaws your plan had in less than 2 seconds flat.

But the one pissed off the most were the krang. This tiny insignificant insect was able to somehow keep the resistance 3 steps ahead. So naturally, they went to take him down first.

It took a while but eventually they managed to isolate Leo. His brothers were fighting up a storm but the krang got too much and so they had to leave. Without Leo.

About a week later which involved a lot of crying and screaming, the krang brodacast a live footage of torturing Leo (my boi) before krangyfying (did i spell that right) him.

And now the krang have leo on their side. Leo, who knows everything there is to know abt the resistance (hes a gossipy bitch but thats only cuz its important to have the intel) so they are in deep shit now.

And he was a zombie for a while guys. Fighting against him always had people dying and his fam having a mental breakdown.

Eventually they take him down, but at what cost. (One of the brothers killed him. cuz angst. And now the question is who is the MOST angst) Also, Leo is the first person to die in the resistance. (Ouch)

Casey rools up and has no fucking clue who Leo is (ouch) or why his mom wanted him to take up the role as Casey's dad (HC: Cass took one look at tge record of Leo's victories against his brothers in the lair games, strategy skills and medical knowledge; and declared that he would be Casey jr.'s father. Leo was incredibly touched)

But for some reason. For soME FUCKING REASON. Kid is so much like Leo its scary. His family is near tears everytime they see him act like that. That one time he made a shitty pun and Donnie started crying.

Well its probably due to the blue imaginary friend he has that he calls Bluey. Yes we're going towards that direction. His everything comes from being influenced by the cool older brother figure he has as an imaginary friend. (Cuz of ✨Mystic Shenanigans✨ Bluey is still stuck here. Mikey is the only one who can also see him. But he cant. Cuz hes depressed)

Also without Mr. A-Ninja's-Greatest-Weapon-Is-Hope I feel like shit gets really depressing in the resistance. Everyones sad. Baby casey is sad to see everyone sad. So he asks Bluey's help and picks up his general style of humor. Angst shenanigans.

And. AND. AND. During the whole peepaws time travel back after the movie montage (I am a aimple woman w/ simple need) these depressed hunks see this tiny version of their blue brother still covered in bandages and not fully healed from the krangvasion, and their immediete reaction? Protecc.

Leo is confused abt a lot of things. The future version of his brothers that got spat out of nowhere. Casey and how that worked w/ their Casey. The blue projection of HIS angsty future self (who is pretty cool btw). PTSD. You know, the works. At this point my guy is just vibing, and honestly? The story picks up a pretty chill pace from there. Its all abt healing now baby.

So thats the rough outline of the au. And it might sound like a fucking add but heres more abt this silly little idea that came from my silly little head. -> You'll (Never) Never Be Alone

[melissa-titanium]

i and b for theee ask post mayhaps if i may

twirls hair in fingers smiles

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

oh my god ok okw ait. imgonna do the second for mp100, md and ln cause those are my main girls right now .

I - honestly?>?? um. a little bit for every fandom ive been in. but twitter has caused me the most grief LOL.....

id have to say homestuck first cause the homestuck fandom is just. fucking RAMPANT with people who mischaracterize.

murder drones second for the same reason but ... it's smaller so its more manageable. there's always going to be bad apples in fandom space no matter what you do unfortunately.

that is exactly why my first mission once i get into an interest is to scope out the coolest people in a fandom and get them to be my mutual. there are a bunch of people who have yet to follow back but. i am persistent. if i have you in my sights you better believe we're gonna be buddies.

for murder drones i think this was mainly ...

@ / electronix-arts @ / 400terahertz @ / randygrim @ / jamieenthusiast @ / ghoulinfuschia @ / yorkistarbomb @.t1rkras rip tirkras :( I JUST CLOSED THE TAB WITH MY LIST IN IT FUCK. ITS OKAY GUYS IF I FOLLOWED YOU THAT MEANS I THOIGHT YOU WERE AWESOME IM SORRY IF YOURE MISSING FROM THIS LIST. BAWLS. also theres a lot of other people on twitter who r cool and i hope they come to tumblr because we all know what twitters like LOLLLLLLL.....

for mob psycho. off the top of my head???

@ / bugcatcherkit @ / metukika @ / bonk-boink @ / bizarre-blues @ / percycoolguy @ my wonderful mutual bloodpopdreams on twitter. queen get out of there @ and... YOU!!!

I WAS SO FUCKING HPYED WHEN YOU FOLLOWED ME BACK U HAVE NOOOOO FUCKING IDEA.

B - ok. fuck. ok. for mp?? RITERU. breach of trust & suitablyskippys one fake relationship fic made me go absolutely fucking insane over them.

breach of trust already on its own is an INCREDIBLE fic but seeing how teru & ritsus dynamic developed without mobs influence was... so so so interesting. and suitablyskippy is just a fucking awesome writer no questions asked so their fic made me love it even more LOL.

also. i might sound insane for this one because its literally one of the most popular fucking ships but. terumob ? like. ok . i know. but i didnt interact with the fandom until after i finished the damn show & didnt pick up on ANY of the undertones of their interactions so it came out of complete left field to me as the most popular ship.

my immediate thought was oh its going to be a johndave situation or something where ekurei was the most popular but then serirei took its place. but i was completely fucking wrong LOL.

BUT YEAH im not insane over terumob but i think they r funny if done right :))

FOR MD... um. genuinely nothing. LOL. the fandom has done a shit ass job of convincing me to like ANY pairings, platonic or otherwise. in fact its steered me away from alot of them.

i genuinely liked nuzi until seeing a lot of the discourse around it LOL...

to be fair i am not a big shipper. i see romantic relationships from a purely analytical point of view because a) autism, and b) aroace.

BUT IN SHORT...i don't HATE all murder drones pairings, i just like to see them through my own personalized lens without any fandom influence :)

LITTLE NIGHTMARES IS DIFFERENT CAUSE. LIKE. ??? ROMANCE?? DUDE HALF OF THE CHARACTERS ARE CHILDREN AND THE OTHER HALF ARE MONSTERS TRYING TO EAT THEM. THE KIDS ARE TOO BUSY TRYING TO SURVIVE AND NOT STARVE TO DEATH AND THE ADULTS/MONSTERS ARE TOO BUSY TRYING TO K I L L T H E C H I L D RE N . AINT GOT NO TIME FOR ROMANCE !!!!!!!!! BUT in terms of platonic pairings. the fandom didnt really change my opinion on any BUT im in the middle of reading a reaaaally good fic that expands on flashlight girl's character (called flicker in this fic,) and explores the idea of runaway kid & six having a dynamic. it's super fun & INCREDIBLY well written and im very sad for when i finish reading it cause its unfinished and was last updated in 2022 </3

WHEW this was long HELPPPPPPPP. THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS ASK IM GIGLGIGN <3333

[bozepomagaj]

i was 15 when i watched made in abyss as well, finished the 1st season and promptly never touched it again because of what i learned about the author. From what ive seen from koreans they say that the version shown on korean tv is censored (which sounds plausible) which could mean that the weird parts that we skip may be cut out entirely(?dont quote me on that idk) soobin is on thin ice cause the 2nd season is worse and taeyong is in deep shit because i dont think there is any reason why someone should own the manga😟

I'mma preface this by saying I completely get everyone who couldn't stomach this series. It contains a lot of disturbing topics and at the end of the day, it's a horror series, of course not everyone is gonna be able to handle that, and again that's fine. But I can also say that this arc was surprisingly handled with a lot of care, wasn't fetishized nor glorified just... disturbing. Think of Outlast 2 or the ending of Amnesia:Rebirth.

TLDR:

Second season is way more disturbing but not as sexual in nature and Soobin most likely was talking about the fight scenes when saying how cool it was. And if he wasn't then who knows what he was yapping about, don't know him personally so I can't put words into his mouth unless he says something. As for Taeyong, can't defend him at ALL but calling him a p3d0 would still be a bit too much for me.

AND I wanna add after further investigation, Mingi said he didn't even watch it and instead dropped it because it was too much for him, so there's that.

For a more in depth explanation, here you go:

I'm gonna have to explain the lore in order for you all to understand this FULLY, so heres a summary:

The arc introduces us to Vueko, a victim of trafficking who was thrown into the Abyss with the rest of the now villagers because she wasn't deemed as someone useful. So obviously, when she meets Irumyuui, who has been exiled from her village for not being able to give birth at the age of 8, she immediately takes her in. As a victim, she understands her, and the author explains how, through helping Irumyuui, Vueko is able to heal her own trauma and heal Irumyuui as well. It's extremely well written, and as a fellow victim, there was something so sweet about seeing someone heal with the help of another. Especially when that someone acted like a mother figure. But of course, this is the Abyss. The point of the Abyss is that despite you thinking there's some light at the end of the tunnel, there isn't. Wazukyan takes that away, and Irumyuuis wish backfires (think of it like the wishes in Madoka, you get what you want but at a cost), and she gets turned into a horrible monster. But despite everything, she's happy because to her, she's fulfilled her purpose.

This is the part that I could discuss for hours because to me, it was commentary on how young girls even nowadayas are convinced by others that 'they have to find a man one day' and how having no kids is looked down upon. Especially in 3rd world countries. I could write an entire essay, but we're not here to do that.

I can tell you immediately that none of this was fetishized nor glorified in an yway, it's just supposed to make you feel absolutely empty because again, author is really trying to push that "oh you think you got the good end of the stick? Think again!" The manga if FILLED with situations like this, from Rico's origins to Nanachis arc, the subplot of this entire manga is 'how far are you willing to go to survive?'. Think of it like Fire Punch. Disturbing? Yeah, I mean, even I had to drop it once they began talking about trafficking women. Once again, I am comparing it to Madoka Magica but far more gruesome. Nothing explicit was shown, Irumyuui's private parts were never exposed, and her giving birth was also never shown. Her transformation WAS shown, but it's your basic body horror, like in most Junji Ito works.

SO, obviously if you're not a fan of the horror/seinen genre this is deeply disturbing and fucked but after seeing games like Outlast 2 and Amnesia: Rebirth, I wasn't as disturbed PERSONALLY. Again, recommending this publicly might've not been the smartest idea because you really do have to be into the horror genre to be able to handle topics like that. Even I just had to sit in silence for a couple hours after reading that backstory cuz damn, it hits you right in the feels. And most of the manga past that part just has badass fight scenes and when people praise it, they usually talk about that. From what I saw it was well animated and lots of clips were shared on tiktok, twitter etc. So there's a big chance he was talking about that.

(Examples of why people were hyping it up, even non-fans who had no idea about the series were going crazy because of this fight scene)

Now as for Taeyong... see now the reason I didn't mention him in the original post is because of that specific thing. I love the series and have come across physical copies of the manga but I know damn well I'm not buying cuz I don't wanna be seen supporting the author, purely out of spite. And saying 'oh well maybe he didn't know what the author is like'. Unlike some sites, physical copies DO include the extra chapters which contain stuff like this:

Totally unnecessary, not relevant to the plot and while some say it was added as a "haha funny joke" c'mon now. Let's use our brains. Now, would I call him a p3d0? Absolutely not. Would he be weird for this? To me, yeah. For anyone reading this, it's up for you to decide. I'm only here to answer questions about the series because I see people saying random stuff and making it seem FAR more worse just cuz they saw a couple tags.

[bihansthot]

I’m probably not going to be around much today lovelies, as I mentioned earlier in the week it’s the 25th anniversary of my heart transplant and ngl it’s weird. I’m in a weird place today, I’m trying really hard not to be sad or upset or think about how traumatic that night was. I don’t remember a lot about the night but I remember the phone ringing late at night maybe just after midnight and I remember going into my parents bedroom, they didn’t have to come get me, and I said “it’s time”, I just knew it as soon as I heard the phone and they confirmed it and we relatively calmly got our stuff and drove to the hospital. I had no idea what I was getting into and had I known, I would have not reacted as calmly as I did. I remember they had to draw blood before the procedure to use during the operation, I remember it taking over 25 attempts to get all the blood they needed and I was sobbing, I was in so much pain and I absolutely hated getting my blood drawn as a kid and while 14 isn’t exactly a little kid anymore it’s certainly not an adult either. I still remember the nurse who was there with us, she had a very distinct, raspy voice despite being quite young and to this day people with that type of voice bring back this very unpleasant memory. I don’t remember anything after the blood draw, they give you medication to help you forget traumatic operations and it doesn’t get much more traumatic than a heart transplant. I don’t really remember much of recovery either, I do remember how painful it was when they made me walk though. I wanted to go home and they said I had to walk to the end of the hall to go home and if I couldn’t do it they would keep me at the hospital another day. You better believe I dragged all my various IVs and monitors down that hallway in an instant. My incision was bleeding afterwards and I felt like I was going to collapse but I held that shit together like the stubborn ass I am and gave them a smile and told them it was nothing and I was ready to go. Shockingly they didn’t notice the bloody incision or my clear exhaustion and I was allowed to go home after only 7 days which at the time was a record. The weeks and months that followed were absolute agony, a heart transplant is a ridiculously painful procedure the only time I’ve ever been in more physical pain is when I threw up from my painkillers after having my tricuspid valve replaced 10 years ago. It was awful, I couldn’t even wash myself, I had to have my mother give me a bath like I was a five year old and that was humiliating but I couldn’t do anything about it, it was just too painful to move my arms to wash myself when my whole sternum had been ripped open and was now held together by twist ties and super glue. Then there was the near constant pain from the weekly biopsies to check for rejection, they basically jam a catheter into your neck and then rip little chunks of your heart out to check to make sure your body isn’t rejecting the organ. On top of all that I gained so much weight from the medications and steroids I was on and my mother was an absolute monster about it. We had a very bad very toxic relationship during this time, she ridiculed me constantly but I depended on her for so much that I couldn’t do anything about it. I was so miserable and wanted nothing more than to die. I don’t want to get to into it though but it was really hard so trying to think positively about today is really difficult but on the positive side of things I’m still here. I made it through all that hardship, all that struggle, all that physical and mental anguish. I survived. For 25 years I have survived and while everyday hasn’t been easy, I didn’t give up. I guess I deserve to celebrate that at least even if I don’t like dwelling on all the misery I’ve endured. So, happy anniversary me, you’ve done the best you could and deserve a nice celebration. I know a lot of you lovelies aren’t going to read this but if you do, thank you, I appreciate you taking the time to get to know me outside of being a horny Bi-Han fangirl. 💙

[omorinintendoswitchedition]

2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 14, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, and 26 (My question is just say something about them you want to say)

For whichever character/characters your want

woweee this is gonna be a looooong post

2-Favourite thing about this character

Doing this for Dante. The Dr Faust cutscene, or to be more broad I love his silly attitude and his stupid jokes. Made this series iconic and funny and gives him a personality.

3-Least favourite thing about this character

For Dante this would probably be the ‘if you were 18 i would date you’ joke from the first episode of the anime. This really rubbed me the wrong way and its kinda weird to say that to a kid you just met???and ooc for him???

7-Whats something the fandom does when it comes to this character you like?

Actually give the girl characters time to shine instead of just making them sexy eye candy. And the silly family dynamics between the Sparda boys.

8-Whats something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

the fucking Vergil dodges child support and is a ‘sigma based alpha male’ homophobe. i hate it so muchhh even though the meme is dead it still annoys me so much when i see people still think its funny.

9-Could you be roommates with this character?

I probably could be roomies with people like Dante and Nero and Kyrie. Id probably get a little annoyed at Dante for constantly being in debt and gambling but we could survive. Do not think I could be roommates with Vergil. that man does not know how the oven works.

10-Would you date this character?

fuck yeah I would date Dante.

12-What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Nico is the kind of person who drenches everything in ranch. She buys the ranch ice cream a lot and it makes Nero loose his shit every single time. She drowns her chips in ranch and Nero looks at her from across the table like shes murdered someone

14-Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Hrngh fuck im not a fashion person. Do kinda see Trish getting into gothic fashion tho.

20-Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Nero and Nico are the perfect best friends duo. Always got each others backs, always making fun of each other lightheartedly. I want more of them sooo badly you have no idea.

21-If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

its been decades since I have last written anything in general. But I do remember Dante’s dialogue being fun to write for me and I dont like everything else because im constantly worrying if something is ooc

22-If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Its been decades since ive read any dmc fic either (get caught up in other things) but as mentioned earlier do love those family dynamics and the attempts to fix everything. Dont like when Vergil os portrayed as ice cold after dmc5.

23-Favorite picture of this character?

FUCK THIS IS SO HARD. I do love the capcom cafe art with dante and his tits out. the teppen card art is also pretty cool.

24- What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

So considering the only other fandom I am in is about depressed teenagers trying to overcome their trauma its safe to say none. I guess Kel somewhat for Dante? Only cause theyre silly and have older brothers who like blue.

25-What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

When I first saw V back when I knew absolutely nothing about dmc, I thought he was edgy and didnt really like him (the video used the ‘what evil lurks I must destroy’ clip out of context). But now that I have played and beaten the series I must say V my poor guy hes an absolute menace.

26-FREEBIE QUESTION!!

no idea what this means!!!!!so im just gonna make up a question!!!!

26-Would you work for this character?

ABSOLUTELY NOT DANTE HAS NO BREAD!!!! and the job is like. insanely dangerous and im just an internet guy.

[pangyham]

Bg3 is insanely fun to me so far. very early in the game but knowing ive barely started makes me excited at the prospect of more cutscenes, quests, and character interactions..!!!

i was just talking to my friend about how easy it is to REALLY project yourself into the game because of how authentic and variable the character + spatial interactions are and i was like. oh god i would not survive in this world. i think for rpgs in general i will never not be able to separate myself from the chatacters i play as just because i control them. but they will always be a separate, well established character with just a bit of me in them. it's different in bg3 because of how my personal ideologies affect the storyline and characters around me, and i think it's really interesting playing a game where your character and the world around you arent narratively static or fixed (it also helps i customized my paladin) It feels real! and this isnt new, it's just very novel to me as someone who doesnt play games like bg3, and i wonder what other games offer this immersion? my only exposure to open world rpgs are genshin and botw/totk but they cant really compare because genshin has a linear storyline and you dont really influence the characters and teyvat because the narrative is already laid out (and it also clashes against the game's open world mechanic which makes the world feel, at least to me, very synthetic). botw is more of an exploration game since its whole point is testing the limits of open world. so it's not super story driven imo, not to say it doesnt have a solid story. but i love these games dearly, and bg3 offers a really satisfying and fulfilling extension to what i truly want in an rpg

but anyway that was just a tangent but basically i told my friend how my paladin pangy is kind of.. stupid. *I* am stupid. HAHAHA i happen to fall for a lot of schemes and am easily deceived. astarion killed me because i didnt shove him away after letting him bite me, afraid he might die of malnourishment. got pickpocketed by a kid (and my character ironically failed the perception check TWICE. i had no idea what was going on until my friend in call told me j just got robbed). believed the fake sobstory of the paladins who attacked karlach and had to reload my save slot so i had the upperhand. i have 0 survival instincts...it's almost ridiculous but also incredibly funny. it made me realize that this is a game worth taking seriously (and that im just. really clueless 🧍‍♂️). but the experience is fun, and i like how the stakes are high (for the most part). i have Got to get my shit together i cant get jumped like this all the time

[leggo-my-aego]

MY REACTIONS TO THE **HEARTSTEEL BOYS** PLAYLISTS FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS BARELY CONSUMED LoL CONTENT (PART 2/2)

note: again, sorry if im wrong w anything, but i rlly tried my best 💜

note2: ALSO THEY SHOWED UP IN THE WORLD FINALS AND I FUCKING MISSED IT IM SOBBING 😭😭😭😭

note3: im doubting riots gonna show more of the Heartsteel content for a LONG time so this is my way of coping with that </3

this post ft. Kayn, Sett and Yone so if yll wanna see my first post w/ Aphelios, Ezreal & K'Sante, heres a link!! :

ANYWAYS BACK TO OUR IRREGULAR SCHEDULED PROGRAM

KAYN 💜

>he reminds me of an overactive dog that barks at anything that moves and the description just emphasizes that

>SOO dudebro. like mans spawned from a frat and is now making music

>born to rave and def has aux in house parties where cops come to arrest ppl cuz noise complaint

>seems like the type of people who walk around in public with a speaker and blasts music while ppl stare at him

>opposite of k'sante, would NOT trust him w my drink <//3

>would trust him to start barking randomly tho and be a getaway driver (would we survive ? prolly not, but we're fast 😈)

>also used soundcloud a lot for opposite vibes of Aphelios. this mans was definitely a soundcloud rapper since high school and was voted as that superlative

>i think the fact my song reccs are from my road rage playlist is also another thing about his character

> Personal Song Reccs based off this playlist💜:

• GASLIGHT! - Maggie Lindemann, Siiickbrain

• Oh Shit!!! - Injury Reserve

• FEEL. - Kendrick Lamar

SETT 🧡

>i can only think of that discord bit of him and k'sante talking ab their protein powder and k'sante just raw dogging the powder like a psycho

>similar vibes to Kayn but this man would actually be apologetic if someone told him to turn down the music

>obsessed with Rocky and Bruce Lee films since he was a kid for sure and makes references that none of the boys get

>definitely has a guilty pleasure for catchy and annoying pop music. definitely knows the words to call me maybe by carly rae jepsen and was caught singing it by aphelios

>i wanna think he growls before a fight even in this universe

>i think ab that recent art of him tearing his shirt after the World Final performance

> Personal Song Reccs based off this playlist🧡:

• Cobra (Rock Remix) [ft. Spiritbox] - Megan Thee Stallion

• DEATHCAMP (ft. Cole Alexander) - Tyler the Creator

• God's Menu - Stray Kids

YONE 💖

>im SO serious when i say i thought all this man listened to was white noise music before i listened to this playlist

>honestly, i wasnt too far off. my song reccs are straight from my Brain Static playlist

>gives club music. but like those really lowkey ones if u know what im talking ab

>if this wasnt a playlist from a game company i would think this mans would have classical music in this playlist too

>he DEFINITELY is a Pandora user rather than spotify user for obvious reasons old ass

>hes so old im crying 😭

>i wanna think him n aphelios both listen to game soundtracks n bond over it. those two have my heart n i think is an underrated duo given they do the bts stuff

> Personal Song Reccs based off this playlist💖:

• coalescence 1212 - アトラスサウンドチーム (from Shin Megami Tensei IV : Apocalypse OST)

• EARTHBOUND - black balloons

• dream about some mistakes i made - nilöwh.

[nathandrakeisabottom]

hullo! saw you rb'd an ask game so thought i'd send in a question or two to my favorite nate pegger...

✍️ What's your writing process?

📚 Who's your favorite author (or a few of them)?

"To my favorite nate pegger..." :

😳❤️ Yes ma'am, thank you ma'am.... ❤️😳

✍️ What's your writing process?

You tell me!! Bye!!

📚 Who's your favorite author (or a few of them)?

This is so shameful to say, but I really haven't been a regular reader for ages, and when I am, it tends to be mostly plays over novels. The one exception are my lovely friends on the ol' dot org, especially @durrtydawg, @libertatias, @weltraum-vaqueroand, and @not-those-kids.

But as for my favorites of all time, I have to say I love.... uh.... not to out myself, but: Shakespeare, girlie. Tony Kushner (Angels in America) is incredible. Rebecca Stead has all the incredible, sharp brevity that I wish to utilize more in my own writing. She tells stories with the exact number of words they need, no more, no less, and the pacing is phenomenal for it. Pseudonymous Bosch. David Ives. Anton Chekov. My father. Chuck Tingle.

Okay, fuck it, top 2 writers are William Shakespeare and Lemony Snicket.

(Okay, for real, though) ✍️ What's your writing process?

Unfortunately for everyone, I am a moody booby artsy fartsy hippie dippy friend of shaggy, so I'm diagnosed disease of "waa waa I can't write because I'm not 'feeling it'" which means that for maybe four out of 50 fics, it came pouring out effortlessly in a brilliant whirl of inspiration. Maybe even shed a tear or two (in the acting world, that's how you know it's good).

But for all the others, it's honestly a painstaking grind. I don't really enjoy my writing until I'm able to return a week or two later and go "huh, this actually isn't so bad". Then, I forget, and the cycle starts again. Unhelpfully, my brain works in visuals, and a lot of the times it feels hard to capture moments in a way I'm satisfied with when you can't directly, exactly translate film energy into written fiction energy.

Don't burn me at the stake, but I'm also a "I psychologically have to make each sentence perfect before continuing" person and a "mostly writes connective tissue and struggles to let herself write the big, interesting scenes before it's time" girlie, and then I have the GALL to ALSO complain that there's no good word for balls.

But to be honest, a lot of my work comes simply from a longing for a piece of media I can find myself and my wants reflected in. For as far as we've come, there's still so much shit I'm *shocked* isn't normalized or as readily found in fiction. Especially nowadays, when some fucked up sons of bitches brought back??? gender roles??? in 2024???? gen z???? --- it feels like a survival and self-soothing tactic to imagine a world that dreams of dissolving that entirely. I wanna pay for the dates. I wanna buy him flowers. I don't want to be scared to walk down the street. And I want more stories about weird, messed up women getting happy endings.

also sometimes im just fucked up and horny heehee <3

-S 🧡 

[suffarustuffaru]

🛒

What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

MY BAD it has taken me a little while to get to every fic writer question ive been asked pfft but i appreciate all of them and theyre really fun to answer :o and alright ok common things—character psychology is a big thing in all of my work :o aa every time i write a characters pov i try to do at least some research into their personality, backstory, etc etc bc my writing is almost always like?? character study type things?? i Really like delving deep into how characters think!!! :o so a lot of my works are like. you Will hear almost every thought in their head HAH. ive been told i have a very recognizable writing style widndnd but i do try to switch up internal dialogue at least a little bit depending on the pov character. i dont know how effective i am at that but i try HAH plus i think its fun trying to capture how someone thinks in the same way that youd try to capture how they speak in their dialogue. i think the most obvious example is probably my recent reinhard stuff—i tried to sound more formal with him? even with little kid reinhard i wrote his internal dialogue kind of formally because i figured that Might be able to create that bit of Dissonance that reinhard has as a character, you know? hes uncanny.

and uh because i focus on internal dialogue a lot, by the nature of things i kind of Have To slap the unreliable narrator tag on the vast majority of my fics HAH but unreliable narrators are fun and i love playing with them!! and i think its realistic in the sense that even a character thats very fair and just and honest may still have the wrong information at times or have emotion cloud their judgment or be a little unreliable for those reasons. that and i tend to pick the mentally fucked characters (which is pretty easy with the rezero cast HAH) whenever i write Very detailed internal dialogue so!!! unreliable narration and spirals into madness it is!!! i just really like exploring like. the humanity behind each character and all their nuances <3 and i Love having to squint at internal dialogue and add that up with a characters thoughts and actions and figure out who this person Actually Truly Is Like?? its like a puzzle :o !!

as for themes. i went into this a lot in another fic writer ask thingy but Definitely like. when characters change as a result of shit hitting their fan and/or their own choices and now theyre Different from the person they used to be. they came back wrong so now what are they going to do? how are the people around them going to treat them now? how will they treat the people around them? i just really like going into like. identity crisis… and um…. suffering that triggers massive self searching bc. the character changed in some way in order to survive through it physically and/or mentally. like seeing characters change for the worse and seeing them either try to crawl their way out or they. keep going down. it can be hopeful or very tragic!!! (bc i love hurt/comfort and tragedy a lot ajdnd) and complicated relationships are a huge favorite of mine to tackle. fascinating multi-layered stuff that i want to study under a microscope!!! i like when multiple contradictions exist within a dynamic or like. a character and their journey. the complexity feels very real to me and i find it intriguing :o

i also love queer themes but due to um. some of the toxicity in this fandom i do hesitate to do stuff with that in this fandom but i DO love queer themes its just not in most of my work atm but thatll change eventually 👍 ill at least slip in a little bit every chance i get 👍👍 (i have exactly one fic with queer themes atm wjdnd)

motifs/random imagery i use a lot also!!!! mostly bc i find them cool and fun but. yes theyre there for a reason. in my first pride otto fic i used second person pov and avoided using his name at points to emphasize that hes 1. being dehumanized and 2. hes dehumanizing himself too as a result. i uhh have also used star related things for subaru a lot bc Of Course. butterflies and moths for emisuba things…. economics themed titles for my pride otto multichap…. bugs for general pride if things…. comparing the knights uniform to bird wings in my reinhard and heinkel fic… i like to describe outfits in general too (pride otto vs main ottos outfits, also felix not wearing blue in the 2 seconds of screentime he has in my pride if fics atm wkdndn) etc etc :o

[actually-nagito]

maybe time doesn’t matter to you and you can go years holding a grudge ignoring someone and get mad at them every time they try to talk to you even though all theyve ever tried to ask you was to be kind and civil to them, and in return you don’t even treat them like a stranger; you treat them like the gum on the bottom of your shoe. you admit to them that they didn’t do anything to hurt you but then when they tell you that every person they try to talk to that ends up interacting with you suddenly turns on them and hates them or cancels plans or now just despises them and instead of thinking “hm, maybe I can help this person or even just be kind enough to them that we can be in the same room” you think “why are u calling me a bully how dare u” . they could say the words “I hope you have a good day” to you and you’d still get mad at them because “have a good day” implies that u we’re having a bad day before, and how dare they think you had a bad day. If you despise someone, everything they say or do will make you mad. And if that reason you despise them is because you’ve convinced yourself they did things that you know they didn’t do, that someone else did, and you’re childish enough to think that one person equals another person even though they aren’t even friends anymore, so how come you get to be the good guy? How come you get to defriend them and it was so good, but when I defriend them it doesn’t even matter to you? Did it even occur to you that maybe they hurt me too, and we had something to bond over?

maybe time doesn’t even matter to you, that you can go years convincing yourself to hate someone who has only ever cared so much about you that they WANT to be civil with you even after all you’ve done to them, how horribly you’ve treated them. Maybe I shouldn’t have to tell you that I don’t have a lot of time left for you to be nice to me. Maybe I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m DYING for you to finally listen or show any kindness towards me. All I ever wanted was to know why you were upset, and when you refused to tell me, I backed off. Instead I just asked if we could be civil, if we could be in the same room, because we are both in this community and you are not going to kick me out of it just because of a fight you had with someone I wasn’t even a part of. I’m sorry I “remind” you of someone, but I’m not leaving the only thing I have left. That you ruined for me by the way because now I can’t even go to the events I want to go to, cause you refuse to be civil enough to be there with me. This is ALL I HAVE LEFT.

you are so fucking privileged to have what you have. You get to go to school, you get to have a job, a life, a group of friends, you get to go out whenever you want to and hang out with them, you get to walk every day freely without being in a body that is trying to kill you and will kill you any day now, without having to deal with dying young, IVE LOST ALL OF THAT. I gave up my dream because I was forced to. I became sick. When you first get sick, everyone cares about you. The popular kids from elementary school who hated you suddenly follow you and be kind to you. But not so much the second or third time. I can sit in the hospital dying now with sepsis and not even one person will come to visit me.

But I shouldn’t have to tell you how much I’ve lost and how much I’ve had to give up just to BE IN THE COMMUNITY THAT YOU SO EFFORTLESSLY ARE A PART OF. You get to live still, and the way you treat someone who doesn’t is honestly disgusting. I shouldn’t have to tell you though that I’m dying for you to be kind to me. I shouldn’t have to tell you that every illness I have points to me dying any day now, any month now, and I really already should be dead and that the fact that I am alive is a miracle right now, that the year you chose to ignore me and treat me like shit I wasn’t even supposed to survive. I was LUCKY to live that year. I was given that year to live only to still have you ignore me and treat me like garbage and not even have the community, not even have the one thing I had left. So I really do hope you’re happy with how childish you’ve been. How awful you’ve treated me and been happy about it.

Maybe I don’t make sense to you and my illness has gotten to me now, and nothing I say makes actual sense. Maybe I’m going through something you’re lucky you’ll never have to go through, because dying young is SHIT and I don’t wish it upon anyone. Maybe when you see someone struggling who is kind to you, think about how much they’ve probably had to go through and deal with and learn to be in the positive state they are. And I know that you’re not someone who has dealt with a lot, because you throw a tantrum when someone asks if you can be civil. If you can’t even handle someone you find annoying, and still be kind to them, and you’re in your early twenties, I have no idea how you’re going to deal with the workforce. What about customers who come in and are nasty to you, are you gonna be nasty back to them? What about employees you have to work with who get on every nerve in your body, are you just going to quit your job when you’re asked to work with them? What about when you DO face something awful and every person you know who could give you advice on it, you’ve pushed away and been nasty to so now you have no one to lend you a shoulder to cry on? Haven’t you ever heard of “treat others the way you want to be treated”? How can you be so mean to some people, and ask that they’re kind to you in return? That they do everything you want them to?

I told you that I’d be there for you if you needed, and that I am there to give you advice. Because I still care about you. And I still would do that for you. No matter how awful you are to me, I will still always offer my shoulder to cry on, and wise words to listen to. I will always offer a hand to hold or someone to cry into. I will always offer an ear to listen to what you need to say and what you feel about. I will always offer my eyes to see you for who you are, who you really are. Because I know this meanness isn’t you, it was taught to you. I know you can unlearn it. I will always see you for who you really are. Not your personality, but you as your soul. The kind person you are. The interests you have and the way you go about the world. What makes you feel happy and what makes you feel not so happy. What matters to you and what you would fight for. And I will still, always offer me. Because I will still always be there for you, and honestly I would probably even die for you if something harmful were to come your way.

But I shouldn’t have to tell you that I’m dying for you to be kind to me. To smile at me and tolerate me in the same room as you. I don’t care if you have to fake it for a bit until you actually feel positively about me. (I mean, that’s what you did to feel negatively about me; you faked what I did so you could have someone to take it out on) Maybe, being kind should be a common thing you do already.

[thatrandomventblog]

of fucking course i fuck it up! i always do!

i cant get shit right can i?! nope! fucking damn near starving bcuse im tired of being refered to as a pig. fuck you too dad! i barely eat a single meal and you wanna call me a pig! like fucking hell get your shit straight. call me too skinny?! fucking FINE! ill try to eat some more! oh im sorry im stuck like this for the last several years! ik ik my weights fine im helthy but bully me anyways yeah?

fucking hell

i cant get shit done at all. maybe it would be better if i just dropped off the face of the world? nah and yeah. nah, itd hurt too many people. yeah, cuse then they wouldnt have to deal with this dumbass. ik i could vent in the server but idk i feel like sometimes im hogging it. like ik ik its there for a reason, but honestly id rather be helping everyone else. maybe im in one of thos moods tbh, it probably explains a lot.

honestly im scared im not going to make it in time. i dont wanna lsoe anyone else but every time i think that it makes me wonder, who did i lose? myself? my family? friends? who did i lose to make me so scared of losing others? honestly, i cant find an answer. maybe its being left behind all those times. being left alone. maybe growing up to fast i lost myself. i sure as hell am not the same kid i used to be.

younger me would argue with you if you said shit about someone i cared for. me now would rather kick your teeth out.

younger me would rather apologize and end an argument. me now would rather taste blood than admit defeat. then again maybe not, maybe im just stewing away (this is about biological family).

younger me would not be online and talking to people. me now, i need those people to survive.

theres just things that have changed. ive grown more violent, less paitence, and more pissy. and honestly its scary.

i wanna have hours worth of patience for my siblings

i wanna be able to keep my chill despite getting the living shit knocked outta me

i wanna be less pissy, be more stable than what i am now

but im not. i wanna change but idk how. ik people tell me im innoccent and kind and this and that but i dont feel it

in the end of the day im still gonna be a shadow

im still gonna be nothing

im still gonna be a fuck up

[indigo474]

Halloween

I did 2 very brave things today.. i stopped for gas on my way to work-somewhere i've never been before.. yup.. i did it. I didnt want to have to stop for gas on my way home. I texted my Aunt HAppy HAlloween. Not a huge deal but ive wanted to text her and felt like i needed an excuse so i used Halloween.. . it made me feel good.. and she responded. I am so afraid of rejection that something as simple as sending a text message becomes a big deal. i'm trying to change. when your bids for attention go unnoticed and/or ignored it makes you think twice about reaching out to someone.. why bother.. i'll only be ignored.. but anyway.. i think of my grandma on halloween.. it was her favorite holiday. i use to take her to the preschool and elementary school parades to see the little kids. i thought of mark and tom tonight and michael. i wonder what the babies dressed as. i wonder if tom and mark somehow know they arent forgotten. i thought about how people have been through far worse than me and they survived and so will i. ive had a very busy week at work and tomorrow is only wednesday. a lot going on with my team. i'm getting a new person. another new person. i just got a lead-she's kind of like my secretary.. which sounds goods but she a ditz.. she talks way to much.. she means well. the days go by fast and i mostly spend my time putting out fires. other peoples fires.. speaking of fires.. my fire place gets repaired next week. i figure something out as far as wood goes. i'm not sure how big of a fire i'll be able to have.. i guess i'll find out.. i was watching something that said people who like fire-women- were most likely burned at the stake in a past life-- witches.. people just make shit up. you think it would be the opposite.. but i love fire.. i think its amazing.. also powerful and destructive.

[sensebreakawake]

no but actually lets talk about it. ive posted about it before but i will not get over it ever sorry.

(rant about JYP and misogyny and stray kids, itzy, nmixx, and the stray kids survival show below)

stray kids survival show opens with the first challenge: choosing between the girls team and the boys team. they both do showcases and JYP chooses who gets to debut.

the girls team is organized by JYP (proto-itzy). the boys team is made by a trainee (chan).

okay. thats fine. chan has been a trainee for a LONG time and they want a new group and theyre seeing if this experimental self-made group can compete with a group that follows their tried and true formula.

(which we also kind of know is also because JYP believes more in their girl groups than their boy groups. they dont want to change a formula thats working.)

okay, so then the self-made group wins. why? to spare time and paraphrase his words: because JYP believes in their teamwork. even though it was rough at the edges, he felt a connection between the 9 of them as a group that was relying on themselves.

awesome!

lets continue this project. its extensive: they make ALL of their own songs for every challenge in this show. their own raps, their own remixes, and even some of their own choreographies. and it works!! and they debut as 9, because everyone loves them so much, believes in them, and cant stand to see them seperated!

then the real challenge happens, of course, debut. district 9 is lukewarm. my pace is a hit. i am you is lukewarm. miroh is a hit AND a win!! side effects is lukewarm, even disliked. levanter is--hold on. uh oh woojin left and everything is going to shit. lets hold on for a second here, in the middle of this, right before miroh, itzy debuted!

now, at this point, stray kids is in their sort of wobbly era. they're a JYP group, so they're not necessarily flopping, but as someone watching from afar, i can tell you nothing here was notable save for my pace (i was pretty distant by 2019 and didn't hear of miroh until later when i started paying attention again) and i honestly forgot stray kids a lot.

so, sure. maybe it does get to me that the whole point of the initial surivial show showcase was to show who had more potential, and it proved that a self-made and self-coordinated group had an irresistible charm about its teamwork, and then they just went and fucked off with that to make itzy. itzy, a girl group formed by JYP with no hint of self-producing ideals in it and artificial messages about loving yourself. not a problem, of course, but after stray kids...? what was the message we were supposed to learn? with their earnest songs about self-image ("i am" series) and their teamwork that made people love them despite their flaws and amateurism?

so, i'll just say sure. stray kids is not stable yet and JYP is just running business as usual. this is the kpop industry! itzy's concept may bring up some questions, but everyone loves them.

but then--WOOOO GODS MENU

we are officially in stray kids Mainstream Success Era. which i call this because i think at this point most kpop fans know who stray kids are. even as someone who was completely out of the kpop loop at this point i could not escape gods menu. and i could not escape back door, thunderous, or maniac that followed.

everyone knows stray kids, so many people LOVE stray kids, stray kids demands respect as a group that confidently and consistently creates all of their own music. and theyre fuckin killing it.

and then........ nmixx?

hold on a second

so we proved that earnest music and teamwork and self-production has not only brought you millions of adoring fans but also the most successful boy group your label has seen, and the second most succesful group your label has seen. sure, when itzy debuted, stray kids wasn't a sure success yet, but now...?

let me shorten this for you. the answer is this: JYP--and the industry at large--does not believe in women to do this kind of work.

they do not trust women with the funds to take risks and have a few wobbly years before finding their footing. they do not trust women to know what they are doing and to do the technical work and manufacture their own success.

female idols should be dolls. female idols are the muses. female idols cannot be trusted. only male idols get to be the poets and the producers.

if stray kids has said when they have the time they can make up to 1-3 songs a day, that they have hundreds of songs hiding in their files, they release songs completely separate from albums with no mv, no promotion no nothing, but because they want to, what the hell does it mean for one member to be the last writing credit on one song every 3rd album?

i want more because i know its fucking possible. and i know for a fact women are capable of it.

i really, really, want JYP to just take one risk and give a group of female artists the platform to be this free.

[lord-shitbox]

13. 19. 23 27. 34 50) top um uhh umm if who's your favorite hollow knight character 50)whossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssumm your favorite teacher but u can't pick ur art teacher

1.) do you have freckles

no unless I have a sunburn on my face. I do have a lot of beauty spots though theres one under the corner of both eyes

13.) fears?

i used to be batshit afraid of needles and also bugs but im normal about them now. i am also not afraid of the dark because I can just go "ohhh gozus lurking in the dark gonna stab me with his claws" and it is 100% unscary he's 165 cm what a twerp

19.) do you have a best friend? how long have you been friends?

if not tuna then hannah. i do not remember when we became friends <3 probably sept 2021? shes even worse than me at PE class it made participation worthwhile

23.) do you believe in aliens?

i believe in some kind of life form existing in the universe somewhere and I think it's really funky to think about all the different potential ways a lifeform could exist. everything over here is all carbon-based and shit and we only survive because we're in this narrow habitable distance from the big ball of hot radiation we spin around So Like. is there gonna be a planet that so narrowly has the same criteria that lead to our existence? or something totally fucking wack and unlike ours? very fun to think about.

conspiracy theory wise, no.

27.) what's your favorite book / one you've read a few times?

uh. YA novels: Feeder by patrick weekes is good. Storm Siren trilogy (mary weber) old classic faves. Cemetery Boys by aiden thomas is the newest addition to my favorites.

poetry: crush by richard siken (duh) i have a big anthology of louise gluck i like, OH THERES THIS BOOK CALLED "STEAL LIKE AN ARTIST" BY AUSTIN KLEON IT'S NOT POETRY BUT IT'S SO GOOD I read it from my art teacher's shelf and i had her sign my copy<3

34.) what's your favorite flower?

hydrangeas (unsafe for consumption) the ONE SPECIFIC ROSE BUSH THAT I OWN (safe for consumption) morning glories (unsafe) wisteria, literally Any Poisonous Flower

50.1) favorite hollow knight character?

in no particular order: the white lady + the hollow knight + myla + grimm + nailsmith & sheo

50.2) favorite teacher but I can't pick my art teacher

THIS year....if i can't say art teacher...my math teacher or the US / world war history teacher. math teacher is the best teacher ive ever fucking had in math (she's the reason I have a near flawless grade, she's fantastic, shes awesome, she likes puns as all math teachers do) & the ww history teacher is one of those funny dudes who does a shit ton of simulations and wears funky historical clothing hes entertaining & it helps

prior, the few that stick with me are old language arts teachers (last year's was SO SO GOOD SHES THE BEST TEACHER I EVER HAD SHE MADE ME LEARN TO LIKE THE SUBJECT ALL OVER AGAIN AFTER I'D COME TO HATE IT, SHE MET WITH ALL THE KIDS WHO SHE SAW WERE STRUGGLING AND ASKED HOW SHE COULD HELP, O HMY GOD IT WAS HER FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING TOO) also seventh grade dude was funny as shit i like his gender (generic white dude) and he has a dog with three legs named Yardstick. because she only has 3 feet)

[jokingmaiden]

it’s my turn on the hyperfixation rant post maker and oh am i going to use it

okay so like. ive been seeing a lot of people talking abt the collector and either how sad it is for them to have been alone for so long, OR how much of a horrifying monster they are in the disguise of a sweet little kid. both of these are partially right, but not the whole story

since the collector speaks deeply to my inner child (twauma babey), adding in my tendency to psychoanalyze everyone and my incessant need to understand my kins as well as possible, i think i’m in a uniquely suited position to put these pieces together

okay. so we don’t get very much content of the collector as of the end of season two, save for some interactions in the mirror realm, the shadow speak technique, the one brief memory with the owl beast, and the last episode. from the minimal interaction we get, we can gather a few key things about them:

-thinks everything is a game

-“collects” things by sealing them in scrolls (or did this at least once, doing so in the form of the owl beast “curse.” this hobby is probably why he’s named the collector)

-is not a witch, human, nor demon. possibly the only one of his kind, rivaled the power of a fully grown titan

-has wanted to “be friends” with King since he was born (laid? put in incubation??)

-trapped in the mirror realm by the titan, assumedly for being dangerous

-is horrifically lonely, hates being contained

-can “zoom in and out” with their eyes, move celestial bodies with the wave of a finger, turn a large, half-palismen-half-corrupted-racist-dude into sludge with a single pointer twirl, break down and rearrange the entirety of a titan’s skull with nothing more than a thought, etc.

-doesn’t react to fear, anguish, disgust, horror, etc. when seen. doesn’t seem to register these emotions at all in fact, other than surface level disappointment and an unprocessed loneliness

-similarly, doesn’t seem to understand death, harm, pain, etc

with these in mind, the collector’s full character begins to approach clarity. they’re, as some have called them, a “toddler with god powers.” this meme is significantly more accurate than i think most people realize when saying it, though.

for starters, empathy takes each child a different amount of time to develop, and does so through exposure to experiences of sharing pain (see: babies crying due to external expression of emotions from others), among other similar occurrences (learning abt how each person has their own memory, experiencing disagreements, etc.)

the collector, seeming to only have long-term emotional exposure to 1. a regal, godly titan, and then 2. a horrible, egomaniacal, manipulative, colonizing, barely-human man, would have absolutely no opportunity to be able to develop empathy towards any creatures capable of experiencing emotions stemming from survival instincts (which, it turns out, is most of all perceivable emotions).

fear means nothing to them. death isn’t a concept they can understand, past knowing a person who dies isn’t coming back (hence why it’s used as a tool to remove the manipulating “LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!” phillip, yet not understanding why it scares the kids).

they full on obliterate belos for convenience. not malice, not violence, just a desire to remove someone who doesn’t play fair. they then have absolutely no idea why the gang looks terrified when he turns around and suggests they play the same game he was just referencing when he turned a man into soup.

without the ability to empathize, the collector would have no way to understand why those two things are connected for the main gang, because in his own mind, his desire to play a game with them is completely separate from his need to get rid of belos. why are they scared? of course the collector isn’t gonna squish his new friends!! he has no way to know how and why his presence scares the absolute shit out of these traumatized children.

extending this idea, the collector has no problem with erasing the boiling isles entirely if it means he’s finally free. most humans don’t have a problem with crushing ants for personal benefit, right? why would such fragile creatures, so much like ants to the titan he once knew, be any different?

then there’s king, a creature potentially on the same power level and understanding as the collector. one who could be their equal. one who, despite being on the same level of potential, grew up in the place of a low-level demon, and had the opportunity to learn empathy and love and fear and connection. perhaps the only one who can explain it to them while actually being regarded.

but how would someone help them understand? well, the only way to help someone so late in development connect with empathy is to provide a method of logical understanding.

how would one do this? well, it would be best to start with explaining death as loneliness.

what does the collector hate? what does he understand is an awful, terrible experience he would do anything to avoid again? being trapped in darkness and isolated for what feels like an eternity, occasionally able to access a passive, minimal form of contact like a shadow on a wall.

y’know, like death.

if king can get these dots to connect in the collector’s mind, or at least get them to listen to a mature adult long enough for someone else to do it, they could potentially be brought up to the mental maturity level of king, or maybe even the main gang!!

if everyone plays their cards right, the collector could be properly raised. they could, slowly but surely, unlearn these unhealthy mentalities, escape their constant, traumatic loneliness (even before the mirror world), and get to live life as a real kid, even if they’re still absolutely OP. maybe they could even go to hexside to learn how to be a kid!! they could connect with hunter who, in a way, shares quite a lot of conceptual problems in terms of trauma, loneliness, being manipulated by belos, separation from kids their age, etc.

they could finally have a family. maybe, in a world where people love them unconditionally, they could learn to let go of exchanging world-altering favors for childlike forms of affection. maybe, with king, they could learn not to need external worth and connection to feel loved.

it’s up to the community to help them understand this, though, especially the parental figures. after all, no child is beyond redemption.

right?