#who am I kidding? I am always somewhat of a moron.

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1077: Bartending with Uncle Rodin (Persona 5 x Bayonetta x SSBU)

2:34 p.m. at the Gates of Hell Bar.......

Ren: (Standing Behind the Bar With a Confident Smirk on his Face) Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to my first and lastest creation....(Presents Two Small Glasses of Red Colored Drinks) Passionate Crimson Flaré~

Enzo: (Amazed at the Drink In Front of Him) Ooooooooh.....

Rodin: (Crosses his Arms as He Examines his Drink Closer) The name could use a little more work. But the drink itself does look promising. I wonder.....

Enzo and Rodin takes a sip of their respective drinks. It wasn't long for the duo to take a liking to them in question.

Enzo: (Turns to His Boss Next to Him) Holy shit, Boss. This creation of his taste fucking phenomenal!

Rodin: Wouldn't go that far. (Begins to Nod as his Taste Buds Starts Kicking in a Bit) ('Mm') But this is pretty delectable. (Turns to Ren in Front of Him) Not bad, kid.

Ren: (Smiles Proudly) Thanks! I wasn't kidding when I said this was my first time creating something like this, but I'm really glad the Bardtending Class is paying off somewhat.

Rodin: That's good and all, but what exactly makes you wanna take up this job in the first place?

Enzo: Yeah, not that we don't want ya here obviously, but you seem like the kinda fellow who would be more interested in the undercover business if anything.

Ren: Funny you mentioned that tidbit. I was planning on becoming one at one point, but I thought about all the times the legal system screwed me over in the past. So I decided not to go through with it in the end. 'Sure Makoto can do a better undercover agent than I ever could anyways.

Enzo: (Raised an Eyebrow in Confusion) Makoto who now?

Ren: Makoto Niijima. (Puts on a Cheeky Grin on his Face) My one and only Queen~ (Shows his Uncles a Picture of him and his Girlfriend Together on his Phone) We started dating back in high school and been a romantic team ever since.

Enzo: (Starts Holding his Chin and Nodding With a Grin of his Own) Aha!~ That girl looks like a real keeper, I'll tell ya what.

Rodin: She must be if you call her Queen.

Ren: ('Sighs Dreamingly') Oh you have no idea.....She's smart, resourceful, always does her best to lookout for others, and can definitely kick my ass anyday of the week~

Enzo: (Let's Out Heartdy Laugh) Hahaaa!~ Girl who can kick your ass, huh? I never expected any less from one of my nephews!~

Rodin: (Rolls his Eyes) They're OUR nephews, moron. And of course you would be into that dominance shit. Your own wife been kicking your fatass since the day you first met her.

Enzo: (Shrugs Casually) True. I may be the resident punching bag in the relationship, but it's still leagues better than being coped up in a bar all day and night being single, bald, and moody-(Quickly Notice his Boss Glaring at Him Before Sweating Bullets) I-I don't mean you, of course, boss! I mean, you're bald too, b-b-but like in a more sophisticated way in, ya know? A-And who could ever resist a bald man owning a bar, am i right? (Chuckles Very Awkwardly)

'Silence'

Enzo: (Clicks his Tongue Briefly) You know, I JUST remembered....I had an assignment or two I had get done by the end if the day, you know the one with mafia business and whatnot? (Slowly Starts Getting Up From his Table and Points at the Door Far Behind him) Yeah, I should....go out there and get my lazy-ass started already. (Turns Back to Ren With a Smile as He Gives him a Handshake) But hey! It was nice to finally have the opportunity to meet you, Renny Boy. I don't know why your mothers didn't introduce you to us sooner, but that's neither here nor there. Stay safe and try not to work your ass off to death, alright? Business here been going slow here for God knows how long and I doubt the boss man is gonna do anything to make more interesti-

Enzo turns back to see Rodin still glaring at him.

Enzo: I-I'mma gonna....head out now.....(Starts Walking Backwards Before Turning Around and Sprinting his Way Towards the Exit)

Ren: (Waves Goodbye to Enzo) It was nice to meet you. Uncle Enzo!

Rodin: Try not to trip your ass on the way out!

Enzo: (Turbs Back to the Duo on a Far Enough) Huh? WoahwoahwoahWOAH!-

The loud sound of trash cans falling and cats yelling cam be heard as Enzo trips outside.

Enzo: ('Groans in the Distance') Ah gee....What a fucking start to the day......

Ren: Hm. (Starts Nodding Before Smiling a Bit) He seems pretty cool.

Rodin: Who? Enzo? ('Tch') Please. (Takes a Cigar From Out his Coat Pocket and Uses his Finger to Light It Up) That fool's more of constant headache if anything....(Starts Smoking From his Cigar Before Exhaling it With a Sigh) But I'm glad you're taking a liking to us at least. You seem like a nice kid, or rather young adult.

Ren: Thanks. I'm glad I have opportunity to meet you two as I am happy to be here. I'll do everything I can not to get in your all that much.

Rodin: I wouldn't worry too much about that if I were you. Just keep doing what you've been doing and everything can go smoothly from there. (Points at Ren) Also, don't get too experimental on the drink, ya hear? Their bitter taste is a whole lot stronger than it looks and I don't wanna deal spent an hour or two trying get these drunk fucks out of my bar.

Ren: (Simply Nodded at the Request) Right.

A few minutes has passed by and there wasn't any customers insight, which for Rodin, is a blessing in most disguised figure. As Ren finishing up cleaning the used glasses for today, a thought suddenly occurred in his mind as he speaks.

Ren: Hey, Uncle Rodin, can I ask you something?

Rodin: (Looks Up at Ren With a Magazine in his Habd) Yeah, shoot.

Ren: I....know this might not be my business or anything, but.....Is it true that you and our goddess mom had bad history with one another at one point?

Rodin: Me & Palutena? (Sighs Heavily at the Particular Memory) Yeah.......something like that. I mean, I'm indifferent towards her nowadays, but she still despise me with every fiber in her flesh abd bones.

Ren: Really.

Rodin: Damn right. And it all started wayyy back when I was just your average, run of a mill Angel. (Let's Out a Chuckle) Well, actually, I wouldn't go that far. I was actually pretty well respected for the most part, taking charge of the creation and half of Paradiso's population and whatnot. The women wanted to fuck me and the men would write an entire essay why they wanna be me. That was, until the day I got fed up with the job and higher ups to the point I rebelled on the system entirely and boy, let me tell you that they were NOT happy about that at all.

Ren: Not even mom?

Rodin: ESPECIALLY your mother. You see, she never admits this to anyone, but back then, your mother was a fan of mines, said my contribution inspired her in someway. So once she found out about my insurgency that day, she teleported her way to the battlefield and tried to kill me herself.

Ren: (Eyes Widened in Genuine Shock) You're kidding.......

Rodin: It's true. That woman did everything in her power to end my existence one way or another. But I'll say this much: as loud and obnoxiously preachy as she was....(Smirks a Bit) She's actually one the few worthy adversaries I had in a real long time.

Ren: So she hated you for that long, didn't she?

Rodin: ('Heh') "Hated"? Boy, she still hates my guts even when her and your momma started dating. But I suppose as long as she keep treating y'all with the respect and care, I shouldn't have any reasons to worry. (Pulls Down his Glasses as He Raises his Eyebrow at Ren) You do like having her around as your Goddess Mom or whatever, right?

Ren: (Happily Nodded) Yeah, how could not? She and Witch Mom went out of their way to adopt and raise me as their own. (Frowns a Bit) Which is more than I can say about my actual parents......

Rodin: You had a shitty home life?

Ren: ('Sigh') Somewhat....It was mostly strict if anything. It wasn't long until I was framed for a crime I didn't commit that they moved me away to Shiyuba, labeled me as a disgrace to the family's name, and disowned me altogether. But as sucky as that was....(Starts Smiling a Little) The move did help me start my life over and meet the people I've grown attached to over the recent years. So there's that at least.

Rodin: (Smiles Back at Ren With a Simple Nod) Good, good. The world we live in is filled with cruelty and disaster, but It's nice to see some folks out there finding a better outlook and living the best life for themselves, away from their past sufferings.

'DOOR KOCKED OPENS'

????: HEEEEEEERE'S HADES!

Rodin: (Sighs While Rolling his Eyes at a Familiar Face) Speaking of disasters......

Ren: 'Sup Hades. What brings you here?

Hades: Ohh nothing too grand. (Makes his Way inside the Bar) Just checking up on how my nephew is doing on his first day as a bartender.

Rodin: (Turns to Ren) Y'all appointed this fool as your uncle?

Ren: Not really. He declared himself as one a while back. (Leans in and Whispers into Rodin's Ear) He's not even close being the best uncle in the entire Smash Family.

Hades: (Glares at his Self Proclaimed Nephew) Hey, my ears aren't broken, I heard that! (Crosses his Arms Together) And I'll have you know that have set a good enough example for each of you ungrateful brats as a parental figure.

Ren: (Gives Hades a Deadpinned Look on his Face) Really? Then why did showed Pitto that one scene from Toyoko Tribe last year on the first day of October?

Rodin: Wait. You mean one with that big lipped fucker and-

Ren: Yeeeup. And let's not forget the time you made him watch three episodes of Boku no Pico a year or two earlier just for shits and giggles.

Rodin slowly turns his head back towards Hades with a menacing glare on his face.

Rodin: What in the everlasting hell is wrong with you?

Hades: ('SIghs in Defeat') Look, I was bored at each of those times alright!? I didn't think they would actually sacred him THAT badly.......

Ren: Yeah, well they did. (Chuckles Lightly) And honestly, you deserved every beating that came your way after that. (Whispers into Rodin's Ear Again While Snickering) He got whopped by goddess mom AND Pitto's girlfriends.

Rodin: (Forms a Conniving Looking Smirk on his Face) You don't say?

Hades: Hey, they only beaten me by surprise! I can handle all three of them easily in a rematch, Palutena especially!

Ren: Really. So if I were to call her right now and ask her to come over here, you'd still fight her?

Hades: Yeeeup! (Crosses his Arms Again) Your Best Uncle in the Mutliverse Hades us not afraid of anyone. Not even all your mothers.

Ren; No one ever calls you that. (Shrugs) But hey, it's your funeral.

Ren takes his phone out of his pants pocket and begins his call. He waits for a few seconds for the beeps to go off until the words "Hello?" from a feminine voice finally reach into his eardrums.

Ren: Hey, mom, how's its going?

Rodin: (Turns to Hades) You're about to enter a word of eternal pain, you know that?

Hades: (Puts on a Cocky Smirk on his Face as He Scoffs at Rodin) Oh please, like she would ever step foot on this bar alone. She still hates you, remember?

Ren: What's that? You said you're coming over right away to beat him up!?

Hades' sudden begins to widens as he mentally hears the sound of broken glass ringing in his ears and a hint of fear slowly rears it's ugly head as shown in his facial expression.

Ren: And you don't care if you have step foot in Uncle Rodin's bar to do so!?

Rodin: (Went Back to Smirking at Hades) You were saying?

Hades: (Glares at Ren) Ren, what the hell did you tell your mother!?

Ren: Ohhh nothing too major~ Just the fact that I told her that you said that she's too much of a wuss to fight you again and you could vaporize her easily.

Hades: (Eyes Widened in Complete Shock) VAPORIZ- Ren Amimaya, you know DAMN well I never said anything about vaporizing her bitch ass!

Ren: (Holds a Finger Up at Hades as He Continues His Phone Call With Palutena) .....Yeah, you heard that too, right? He just called you the B word.

Hades: (Angrily Grits his Teeth While Whispering to Ren) STOP TWISTING MY WORDS AROUND, BOY!- (Quickly Pauses Himself Before Taking a Deep Breath to Calm Down) You know what? It's fine, Hades. This is just an elaborate prank to fuck with me us all. Nothing more.

Ren: Hey, Hades, someone would like to have a word with you.

Ren holds up his phone and pits it on speaker mode as the caller in the other line begins to speak.

Palutena: HADES, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF FILITH! I'M COMING OVER THERE TO KICK YOUR SORRY ASS RIGHT NOW AND- (Continues Ranting and Screaming on the Other Line

Hades: (Finally Scared Shitless) Fuck this, I'm not ready to die again yet! Hades out!

And with that Hades finally disappears in the instantaneous speed of darkness much to Ren's satisfaction.

Ren: (Turns Speaker Mode Off and Put the Phone Back in his Ear) Don't waste your time coming over here, mom. He chickened out and left......Uh-huh.....Yep......('Sigh') Yes, I know. I shouldn't call you during work hours. This was just too funny of an opportunity to pass up, you know?.....Yeah......Alright, I'll bring you and Witch Mom something back once I get off.....Love you too. See ya.

Call Ends

Ren: (Turns to Rodin) Hey, you don't mind if I take some of your bags of Hellish Beef Jerky with me back home, do you? It'll only be for an evening.

Rodin: Knock yourself out (Puts on a Proud Smirk on his Face) You deserve it after scaring Hades' dumbass out of our establishment. 'Truly grateful for your service here today so far, boy.

Ren: (Smiles Softly) Thanks. I'm really glad to be here.

@keyenuta

@mariah2014

@cyber-wildcat

@caleb13frede

@bestpony666

@princekirijo

[johnandrasjaqobis]

Okay I don't know your current batch of characters, so from the super detailed character questions list: 15,22,31 for whoever would provide the funniest or most interesting answers.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

out of the space kids i think April is the best cook, but mostly because she had the right mixture of a wide variety of things to cook and the time to practice. It's definitely a relaxing thing, not one she gets a lot of opportunity to do on the base.

Vic is. not great. at anything besides what you can make on a campfire in the middle of the mountains. He can, at the very least, make the regular rations not as immensely boring, given the time, but he's lost in a full kitchen. Definitely something he works at learning now that there is. plenty of time to do so. But he also has to figure out what he was allergic to in Pride's Call. Jack conversely is a genuinely excellent cook, once he knows the layout of the kitchen. He's not great to cook with, somewhat ironically, because people initially tend to assume he'd want help and are incredibly wrong about that. His specialty is fish (and he's incredibly picky about the quality of said fish) and it's gotten to the point that he's kind of the designated cook at the house. He'll take requests to an extent but also dear gods why would you do it like that, no look there's a much better way, give me twenty minutes --

22. What are their favourite insults to use? What do they insult people for? Or do they prefer to bitch behind someone’s back?

Murphy for the most part is immensely polite and professional to everyone. Until they leave. And then it's immediate muttering of sun-scorched morons, trying to teach me how to do my own fucking job and then instant professionalism slapped on again for the next one. (Nathic insults have a lot about the sun they are. not fans) similarly April being the epitome of Technically Royalty is very adept at the political passive aggression and excellent at maintaining nothing but the epitome of cordiality until the person is walking away, at which point it's the gritted teeth grinning and go sit on a beach, buddy Ilharess (now Rika) is kind of the opposite in that she knows how to be very politically polite and follow noble proprieties and actively chooses not to, much to the chagrin of...almost everyone else. Three lifetimes have given her a very wide range of insults in multiple languages and sometimes it's as simple as I am a Light-chosen motherfucking Zolaed and I can end you (always at least a tiny bit funny coming from this little goblin lady)

31. Do they drink? What are they like drunk? What are they like hungover? How do they act when other people are drunk or hungover? Kind or teasing?

Joseph is the first to come to mind because practically every version of him at least starts out never drinking. He's fine hanging out with friends who are, he'll make sure no one is too stupid about it, but he's got his own hangups and is happy to act as the one sober guy keeping Nate from getting into a bar fight. Absolutely will give people shit for being hungover, though, every time. Vic doesn't drink often at all; he's got the lingering paranoia of letting anything make him slower or less able to keep an eye on things. The few times he does he is a very...contemplative drunk, a lot of staring into middle distance and coming to very abrupt revelations that vary in their validity. Most of the time he's the one making sure people get to bed safely, making sure they have at least some water, using the knowledge that he can be a genuinely intimidating presence to keep the creeps at bay Jarek I feel is an immense lightweight. He considers it an advantage because it's effectively much cheaper to get drunk when he does want to. There has been one (1) time he went drinking with friends on a station that had somewhat lower gravity and still cites that as an "I nearly died" experience because he will attempt to go around and talk to Everyone about Something and the low gs threw off the already terrible balance with every step. His boyfriend cherishes the bits of video he got of that ordeal. The hangover period is just locked in a very dark room in sub-human state with nothing but vague grumbling until the pain killers kick in.

[ravenrune]

I'm essentially like a gremlin, in the sense that I shouldn't be allowed on the internet past midnight because I turn into some sort of moron.

[michu-writes]

One: great taste in media judging from your masterlist! I had a idea for a request! Inside Job(either maybe brett,andre or gigi if you need specifics! I will be happy with whichever) x reader who is basically tom/tamara? In personality wise AND maybe this reader has holes instead of eyes like Tom? I think that be really interesting to see their reaction to it! No matter if you do or don’t write this! Plz take care of yourself and to stay happy!

A/N: Thank you, and I FUCKJNG LOVE THIS REQUEST SO MUCH, ITS SO FUN LMAO. I hope you like this, and I hope you have a great day <3

Also I didn't write for Gigi because I didn't know how to write for her- Or I didn't really feel like it yk- IM SORRY :((!!!!

Warning: Slight nsfw (talking about making out, hickeys and sub or dom, nothing TOO bad)

Brett

When he first met you, he felt so intimidated and scared around you- LIKE LETS JUST SAY YOU ALSO WORK FOR COGNITO!! The moment he saw you, he was like "Jesus- You're very… scary. BUT IN A GOOD WAY" and you just looked at him like 🤨. Once you both had to sit in the same room for a meeting, and he just kept looking at your eyes. I mean, it's nothing new for you but he was like REALLY looking at it none stop to the point he couldn't even pay attention to the meeting. So you just gave him a bitchy look, which made him jumó a bit and look away- You just chuckled. BUT ANYWAYS WHEN YOU BECAME FRIENDS, HE KEPT ASKING ABOUT YOUR EYES!!!! Like how did it happen and shiz. Yo I didn't mind, but whenever you were going to explain, you always got interrupted by something (like in literal eddsworld). He eventually just gave up because he felt rude for always asking and looking about your eyes.

ANYWHOOOOOO

Even when you were quite rude and cold to people and about your eyes, HE ALSO SOMEWHAT FOHND YOU KINDA HOT- Like maybe it's the way you look so badass and can literally beat him up anytime-

When you started dating, YOU WERE THE POWER COUPLE WHO CAUSED CHAOS <3. LIKE WE HAVE THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER, AND THEN ON THE OTHER HAND WE HAVE THE FUCKING CHIHUAHUA <3333. It's lowkey the best fucking dynamic !!1!1!1!! You'll be literally death staring everyone who thinks Brett or you are weird, while Brett is just being an oblivious son of a bitch :3. Honestly, the gang would be wondering how you guys even got together in the first place. I mean, they always knew that Brett had a strange taste, but still.

BUT HEAR ME OUT

Brett woukd fucking burst and turn red during make out sessions. HES LIKE "Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god am I really making out with the hottest person in Cognito?!?!?!?!?!" He almost passed out 💀. He'd like to get a hickey from you too, he just feels so confident and powerful when people know that your his <333333.

Andre

DUDEEEE HE THINKS YOURE THE HOTTEST BEING HES EVER SEEN, NO KIDDING!!!! He doesn't even think about your eyes, he just wants to kiss you smhhh. Ever since he saw you, he's been trying to catch your attention some way or another. Either from flirting, teasing, chit chatting, ANYTHING to the point it actually started to annoy you a bit. One time he wouldn't leave you alone even if you tried to signal him that you wanted to be alone. Sure, sometimes he flattered you BUT YOU NEEDED TO FOCUS ON YOUR WORK!! So what did you do? You fucking kicked his ass! Literally! You pushed him to the ground and said "Leave me the FUCK alone, moron." AND THE WAY HE LOOKED AT YOU ISTG. He literally had hearts in his eyes. He literally mouthed "Holy shit" and fucking blushed. You noticed, which made you look at him confused, but you couldn't help but blush too. Because he looked so cute- You only sighed and helped him up. "If I give you my number, will you finally leave me alone?" "Can't say I promise, princess/prince." THE PETNAME. THE FUCKJGN PETNAME. You rolled your eyes and gave him a note which was your number and walked away. AFTER THAT INCIDENT, YOU BOTH COUDKNT STOP TEXTING EACH OTHER. It was that moment you actually thought he was kinda cool, and where he thought that you're his love of his life. THIS FUCKING BITCH- He's most likely dreamt about being dominated by you 🤷. HE HAS ALWAYS THIUGJT THAT HES A MASSIVE DOM, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO YOU, HES THE MOST SUBMISSIVE MF OUT THERE. We won't talk much about it though because,,, yeah--

When you both started dating, he couldn't stop talking about you with his colleges. He's like "Oh, me? Yeah I'm dating this awesome sexy and hot person, you probably know them, it's y/n. They're so fucking attractive, you'll be jealous." He's basically a simp. BUT YK, HIS LIFE GOAL IS TO MAKE YOU A BLUSHING AND FLUSTERED MESS BECAUSE ITS ALMSOT IMPOSSIBLE. Whenever he tries to flirt with you, you'll only look at him like "Is that all you got?" And then start flirting with him instead and make him the flustered one instead.

ITS SO!!! I love him

[pies-writes-and-more]

Karasuno boys when you wander away

Characters: Tsukishima Kei, Dachi Sawamura, Asahi Azumane, & Kageyama Tobio, all with a Fem!Reader

Warnings: probably some swearing but nothing besides that :) 

A/N: So this is somewhat based on my IRL relationship haha. I’m very bad with just walking away or getting distracted by something and always worry my partner xD thought it would make for some cute headcanons! Let me know if you’d like more!

Haikyuu Masterlist

Tsukishima had only looked away for a moment. He walked towards a fresh fruit stand, glancing at the peaches and wondering if you wanted one to snack on on the way home. He glanced back and his lips parted to ask you, but you were no where to be seen.

His lips turned into a frown, trying not to give into that small moment of panic as his eyes scanned the outside market. You were no where to be found nearby. His heart pulsed harder against his chest as his mind reminded him of that news story of girls going missing in public places. Tsukishima pushed through people, giving half-assed apologies as he thought about you being dragged away and no one noticing. How had he not noticed? How would he find you? What should he do now?

His heart raced as he continued to look for you, giving out a small yelp when he felt someone grab his hand.

“Tsukki?” You were suddenly next to him, smiling innocently up at him. “Are you okay?”

The rush of relief that came with seeing you next to him was followed with frustration. “Idiot! Where did you wander off to?” He scolded, his hand tightening on yours.

“There was a puppy,” you admitted with slight embarrassment, smiling shyly. “I just gave him a couple of pats - he looked so lonely. Everyone was ignoring him,” you explained, nodding towards an older man who was dozing off on a bench. He had a leash in his hand and a large dog sat next to his feet, eagerly watching people was if begging for someone to pet him.

Tsukishima shook his head in disbelief, “You scared me for a dog? Moron,” he grumbled, pulling you further into the market. He didn’t want to be in such a big crowd right now.

You giggled, trying not to note the redness in his ears, “Aw I’m sorry Tsukki, I didn’t mean to scare you.” You tugged on his arm gently, trying to give him an apologetic smile but he kept looking away from you.

“Whatever, get yourself lost for all I care,” he pouted slightly and you tried your best not to laugh at how such a tall boy could act like a 4 year old.

“I’ll stay with you, promise. Won’t ever leave your side!” you insisted, clutching his arm and beaming up at him.

Tsukishima glanced at your smile, noticing it looked... almost playful? “What?” He raised an eyebrow, already knowing he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“You care about me,” you teased, reaching up to poke his nose playfully. “You were worried about me because you careeee about me.” You had expected him to pull his arm away, stomp off until you apologized for making fun of him.

But instead he just rolled his eyes, flicking your forehead gently, “Maybe just a bit.”

That surprised you just a little, your heart skipping a beat or two in response, “I am sorry, Tsukki, I didn’t think I went off that far. It just got really crowded,” you told him sincerely, squeezing his hand gently. “But lucky for me! You’re so tall so it’s easy to find you!”

Tsukishima scoffed some more but blushed anyways, feeling now like he had overreacted, “Whatever. You’re buying me a snack to make it up to me, idiot.”

“Mmkay!” You beamed, the two of you roaming the market together. Tsukishima pretended like he had completely forgotten the whole thing, but you noticed that he never let go of your hand that easily after that. And he always kept you close in crowded areas.

So yeah, maybe Tsukishima Kei really did care for you.

Daichi is a calm cool collected dude. Calm. Cool. Collected. It was as if he was chanting these words in his brain, eyes frantically trying to find you. CALM COOL COLLECTED, he desperately tried to remind himself. Everything is FINE.

But that still didn’t answer the question: where the hell could you have gone off to?

It was one of the first big matches that Daichi ever invited you too and the crowds were 10x bigger than anything you’ve been to. Daichi’s whole body trembled with the idea that you were completely lost and waiting for him to find you.

“I’m sure she’s alright, Daichi! Y/N’s probably just exploring,” Asahi clapped a hand onto his friend’s shoulder, though Daichi could tell he was nervous too.

“Stop being such worry-bums,” Suga insisted, smacking both of their arms. “Y/N can be as scary as the rest of us! No one would pick on her!”

You were fully capable of dealing with things yourself, Daichi knew this. But he felt a surge of protective energy anytime he felt you needed him. “I’ll be right back,” he mumbled to his friends, his feet quickly running around the gyms to try and catch a glimpse of you.

“Daichi!” Your voice made his eyes widen, darting around to try to find you. Suddenly, he was attacked with a full on jump hug, staggering backwards to keep them upright.

“Y-Y/N! Where’ve you been?” Daichi asked with a laugh, holding you tightly and trying to avoid showing you how nervous he was.

“Coach Ukai told me Hinata left his shoes in the bus so I went to grab it before the game! Shimizu-san and Yachi were both busy so I wanted to help!” You explained, smiling up at him while holding the little bag up for him to see. Your eyes flickered over Daichi’s for a moment, noting the slight blush on his cheeks and the way he couldn’t fully meet your gaze. You couldn’t help but let out a giggle, your lips turning into a little smirk, “Were you worried about me, Daichi?” You teased and laughed as his face turned even more red.

“Well I can’t win without my lucky charm on the stands,” he chuckled, ruffling your hair.

“Oh and I just thought you liked me,” Y/N shot back with a laugh. “Didn’t know it was just cause of your game.”

You turned on your heel, starting to walk back to the gym, Daichi following while stammering out a, “I-I do liked you!” He tried to laugh off his nerves, rubbing the back of his neck as he gave you a smile, “Don’t make me all nervous before a game, love!”

You two shared some more laughs as everyone warmed up, and just before you headed to the stands, you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Daichi tried to play it off cool but he was wobbly the whole walk towards the team and the group of boys just laughed, all slapping his back in pride. 

Unlike the Cap’n, Asahi is not calm, cool, or collected. I mean I think he’s cool but not in this sense LOL.

Asahi and you decided to have a picnic for lunch in a nearby park. But while he was setting up, you magically disappeared and Asahi felt all of his panic just intensify.

Did you? Leave him? To be on his own? Was this your way of breaking up with him?

No, Asahi tried to convince himself, you loved him. You guys had been together for almost a year now, that’s not how you’d end thins... is it?

Maybe you got lost? Did Asahi walk a little too fast to this spot? He knew sometimes you had a hard time keeping up with his long legs but he thought you had been holding his hand this whole time.

His eyes scanned the somewhat busy park. He couldn’t find you anywhere. His heart was starting to beat way too fast and his fingers were shaking while he tried to text the other third years to ask what the hell he should do.

Suga: LOL knowing Y/N she probably saw some cute chipmunk or something and stopped to take a photo of it

Daichi: don’t worry, Asahi, she’ll probably find you soon - you’re this gigantic dude in a park. I doubt she’d lose you

That didn’t help. Now Asahi was noticing how parents and kids were specifically avoiding him. His bottom lip pouted as he wondered just what he could do to seem less intimidating. Should he sit down? No, what if you were trying to see him? Sitting would only make it harder!

Just as he was considering climbing up the nearby tree to see the park from a higher distance, you popped out from some nearby bushes, holding a few wildflowers.

“Asahi?” You blinked in surprise, finding him trying to find a foothold on the tree. “Are we... eating in the tree?”

“Y/N!” The poor boy almost knocked his head on the tree when he turned around to see you, eyes widening. He immediately ran over to you and twirled you around in a hug, “God, you scared me!” 

You quickly apologized profusely seeing how nervous he was, “I’m sorry, Asahi! I saw some pretty flowers over there and thought maybe it would be nice to decorate our tablecloth with!” You kiss his nose and cheeks over and over again trying to get him to calm down (but really that’s just making him more flustered).

The two of you share a gorgeous meal together, and you spend the rest of the day with his head in your lap and you braiding his hair, intertwining some of the flowers you found. The two of you talked about everything and anything and Asahi made sure from that day forward, he could always spot you. Any time you guys weren’t holding hands or standing next to each other, everyone noticed that Asahi’s eyes would dart over to you every now and then, whether consciously or unconsciously. 

When he got home that night, he pressed the flowers you put in his hair in a book and kept them as a keepsake. And then gave them to you in a gift for your anniversary later.

Kageyama would start feeling panic and wouldn’t even know why. The game was starting soon and something just didn’t feel right. His muscles? No… he felt in tiptop shape. He stretched a little extra today too to make sure he wasn’t feeling stiff. His stomach? No, he made sure to have some food and milk a little earlier. And he wasn’t feeling nauseous so it couldn’t be that. His hands? No, they felt perfect in fact. He was so excited for this game earlier, he had felt the anticipation running to his fingers to just set the perfect ball. So why was he feeling so uncomfortable?

His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to think about what was making him feel different. His eyes scanned the crowd unconsciously before realizing what it was.

You weren’t standing up there with the rest of the Karasuno fans.

Where the hell were you?

His feet moved towards the gym doors before Ukai yelled at him, “Where the hell do you think you’re going, Kageyama? The game is staring soon!”

Kageyama’s eyes widened, noting the whole team watching him curiously. Why did Kageyama seem so nervous? He never seemed nervous.

“Don’t worry, Kageyama, with my spikes better than ever, we’re definitely going to win!” Hinata grinned, trying to lighten the tense air in the team.

“I’m not worried, just don’t be stupid on the court,” Kageyama replied, shrugging it off. But his eyes still scanned the stands. Where were you? You had said hello to the whole and wished Kageyama luck just a few minutes ago? So how come you weren’t standing up there with Coach’s friends and Yachi?

The whistle blew to indicate the game starting and Kageyama felt his stomach turn. Why was he feeling like this? You were probably fine so what did it matter?

You had been buying some milk from the nearby vending machines to make sure that Kageyama had some after his game. You knew that he had accidentally finished all the ones he had packed earlier and had been kinda crabby about it so you thought maybe it would cheer him up. You had stood in line for the vending machine for what felt like forever but it was all worth it knowing that you could throw the milk boxes into your lunch bag to keep them cool. Knowing Kageyama would be excited about it made you really happy.

As you walked back towards the gym, you could hear cheering. Your eyes widened as you realized that the game had already started and you ran towards the stands.

“Y/N! There you are!” Yachi’s smile looked oddly nervous. Not that she wasn’t normally nervous at these games, but this one seemed different. “I think something’s wrong with Kageyama.”

Your eyes shot down to the court, seeing how stiff Kageyama looked next to everyone else. They were patting him on the back, yelling “We’ll get the next one!” and Noya screaming, “BRING IT ON!”

“He was looking for you in the stands earlier I think,” Yachi told you with a small giggle, “He looked really nervous when he couldn’t see you.”

Your heart swelled slightly, wondering if Kageyama was off his game because he hadn’t been able to see you. “Kageyama!!” You yelled from the stands, cupping your hands around your mouth. The dark haired boy’s head shot up to look at you, a sense of relief growing on his face. “You can do it!!” You screamed some more, the people on the stands behind you yelling in support.

Even from far away, you could see his lips turn upward in a smile.

Alright, you both thought to yourself. Now we can get started.

[skampi835]

Let’s never speak of this again! (Motonari x reader)

Let’s celebrate Motonari’s upcoming route with an oneshot! 🥳 Since I hopefully avoided most of the spoilers I didn’t come up with any good idea, but then I found this:

you and your enemy hug each other, it's completely accidental, and neither of you know why it happened, and it's like,,, you glare at each other, with an expression of ''let's never speak of this again'´

Thanks for putting this idea in my mind @screnwriter​!

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Language: english

Starring: Motonari x reader (female)

Genre: Comedy

Warning: besides Motonari’s slanguage surprisingly none... ahaha who am I kidding? It's Motonari 😂

real Warnings: angst, bad language, violence (fighting scene!)

Word Count: 1.810

“Get her!”

Shoot! How do I always end in situations like this?!

With this thought you’re bolting straight into the next alleyway. You’ve left the busy trading streets of Azuchi a long time ago and unfortunately lost track of your current position due the rising panic inside of you. Honestly, you’ve no idea where the heck you are right now! Though obviously still in Azuchi you’re running hopefully into the right direction towards the fuller marketplace!

Desperate, you’re squeezing your way through a very small gap between two buildings and dash on. Maybe your pursuers can’t follow you through this and it'll buy you some extra time! The shouts from traders and the sounds of frisky chatters are getting louder with every step you’re taking, which means you have to be on the right track!

Determined you’re keeping up the fast pace, praying you’re able to shake off your pursuers completely in the crowds of the busy market, as you round the next corner. But all of a sudden you’re awfully crashing into a wall.

“Woah!”

“Uff--!”

The heavy impact is stealing your air, though obviously not only from you, but also from said wall, which in the hustle and bustle you’re literally falling into his arms eagerly not to fall. Together you’re even staggering sideways for a split second. Stressed and tense you’re spinning your head up with surprise, staring into the startled, wide ruby red eyes of the man. "Wah-…?"

“… You?!”

You didn't even realize how tight you were clutching Motonari when you crashed into him, until he’s violently yanking your arms away. "The hell yer doing? Got a bloody death wish?" He hisses and is glaring at you furiously.

As shocked as Motonari's reaction was, so are you aghast to face him right now. "What, of all people, are you doing here?!" You snap, still completely out of breath.

Quick steps are pulling you back to the current situation you are still in. You were supposed to keep running from your pursuers but simultaneously you’re facing an enemy of the Oda forces. Your situation is definetly growing somewhat hopeless. Nevertheless the sight of Motonari’s anger makes it a lot easier for your decision, to pass him and run away, than to stand rooted on the spot.

Unfortunately Motonari suddenly grabs your wrist roughly when you've just turned away and is pulling you back. "Ack-…! Let me go!" you plead.

"I won't do shit," Motonari growls venomously. "Now that yer recognized me, princess, I’ve gotta improvise something."

The hectic steps from the side street are getting louder with every passing moment, before they’re coming to a sudden stop right next to you. “There’s this witch!” One of the pursuers is shouting. He’s considerably tall with broad shoulders and a massive body. Shortly afterwards another two coarse figures appears behind him. They’re building themselves up with stern grimaces in the narrow alleyway.

Your eyes anxiously widen and your body starts to tremble ever so slightly. But there is no running away again for you, for Motonari’s adamant grip is chaining you.

"Huh, didn't even know yer know so many grim-looking acquaintances, princess." Motonari’s saying coolly, scanning the three men with his steely gaze. Still he doesn't loosen his grip on your wrist instead he’s tightening it.

"I haven't!" You snort, trying to yank your hand free to get away from him - without avail. You don’t know if it's better, getting caught by Motonari or these guys. But you know for shure both scenarios are pretty bad.

"Hey, you there! Plat-head!” One of the scoundrels growls and is glaring at Motonari grimly, whose dryly raising an eyebrow at this denomination. "Give us the little girl. We have business with her."

“That stupid hussy broke my nose!” Another of them shouts indignantly. You’re noticing his swollen red nose and you can't suppress a brief, yet inappropriate, flash of pride in your face.

It was just a few minutes ago, when they stalked you after you’ve exited your favorite shop. Unfortunately this shop is located in the outskirts of the village so there weren’t many people when they confronted you. The guys wanted to ‘talk to you nicely’ and after a few seconds you’ve ‘nicely declined'. Thank goodness you know some techniques of self-defense!

However, even more inappropriate is Motonari's spiteful laughter that he’s suddenly uttering. It’s giving you the creeps! "Seriously?" With a quick sideways glance in your direction with his ruby red orbs, he’s grinning at the fellow with extreme smug. "Tell me, how’d she did it, putz? Did she climb onto yer?"

Good gracious! Wouldn’t you please make him madder than he already is? Pretty please?!

"What did you just call me?" The broad shouldered man’s roaring furiously. Shortening the distance to Motonari, he’s threateningly waving with his massive fist.

Without wanting to, you’re quickly seeking cover behind Motonari, who has finally let go of your wrist. Now with his hands free he’s facing the attacker. With quick reflexes Motonari’s skillfully dodging the scoundrel's punch and draws his sword with a metal 'shink' that’s humming in the air. You’re holding your breath when Motonari’s holding the blade right against the throat of the ruffian, who is instantly not moving a muscle anymore. "Are you out of yer damn mind? You fucking want to take me on unarmed?!"

Motonari’s sounding incredibly unimpressed, for it was him against three rapscallions, but also incredibly pissed. No matter how this will end, you're sure you won't be of any use. So you’re looking around for an escape route. But you are cornered. The only side you could rush to is a dead end.

"The lil’ one’s mine, get it? So piss off, aye? ” Motonari’s growling with a frown and kicks the man roughly in his side. Gruntling the man hits the ground hard.

"You sunova-!" Furiously about the defeat of his crony, another ruffian - not quite as stupid as his predecessor - is trying his luck with a rusty dagger, when he’s running towards Motonari. But after a few seconds it lands on the ground, followed by the guy.

The last of the crew charges in, just to earn a brutal smack with the back of Motonari’s sword in the side of his neck. "Tch! How the hell did ya morons think yer can take me on when a lil’ girly beat you up? Ya wanna make me really mad?”

You’re recognizing the change in the air around Motonari. It’s tense, shifting from the beginning amusement to bloodlust. Motonari’s wielding his sword, but apparently used it just to disarm his opponent. But now it seems that he won’t restrain himself any longer.

"Crap, let's get out of here!" The guy with the lost dagger is yelling towards his pals. Frantically they’re getting up and quickly disappear into the alleys.

You sigh, relieved as the men finally disappear. But just one moment later your heart’s sinking completely into your boots when Motonari turns back to you, though this time with a sword in his hand. "Back to ya, princess."

“I haven't seen or heard anything!” You shout, throwing your arms up in air and backing from him. Now pressed against a real wall on the side of the house, your heart is pounding up to your throat, when you meet Motonari’s sharp gaze. Luckily the bloodlust you’ve seen before has gone, too.

Motonari’s raising an eyebrow, probably irritated by your strange reaction and is fixing you. Then the corner of his mouth curves up to an amusing smirk while he’s withdrawing his sword back to his belt. “Heh, ain’t that a start?” He snickers.

Abruptly he shortens the distance to you, placing one of his white gloved hands right next to your head against the wall behind you. Superior and smugly, Motonari’s looking straight into your eyes, straight into you. The tension’s getting tangible again and your heart’s pounding hard in your chest. "You owe me. I bet you saw nothing, understood?"

Something you least of all wanted, is to owe to some madman like Motunari! His stern expression is sending a shiver through your spine. "I- ... uhm ... thank you?"

"What should I do with yer thanks? Can’t buy anything with ‘em.” Motonari snarls dissatisfied and is slightly narrowing his eyes. "Either you damn shut yer mouth about everything ya saw - hell, just forget I’m even here! Or I'll cut out yer pretty tongue. Ain’t that a deal?"

Automatically you’re pressing your lips together sealing your mouth - and especially your tongue. You’re staring at him in horror with wide eyes. "Let's never talk about this again, aye?"

What joice do you have? Of course you could just agree with Motonari and then tell the warlords about his whereabouts. But you’ve always been a woman which sticks to her word, no matter how bitter this one is. Not entirely sure whether he'll still carry out his threat to cut off your tongue, you're just nodding, while glancing determined up to him.

"Splendid." Motonari’s pushing himself off the wall with a mask of satisfaction on his face, giving you the way free. "Then rush back to yer patrons, ‘lil princess.”

Uncertain you’re blinking towards him. Motonari makes no move to stop you, he’s just waving with his hand in your direction. He really leaves you with just that! Without further thinking, you’re taking to your heels and bolt away. Not that he'll change his mind after all!

After two more alleys, you’re finally reaching the busy and crowded market and try to calm your panicked pounding heart. That was definitely too much excitement for one day! Still, you're grateful for Motonari getting those ruffians off your back. But why does it haf to be Motonari of all people?!

A deal is a deal, you’re thinking to yourself taking one last, deep, nessecary breath. Certainly it won’t mean anything good that Motonari’s currently in Azuchi. You just hope, you won’t regret this deal someday.

With quick steps you’re heading purposefully back to the castle. Even if this idiot surely won’t appreciate it, your silence about that accident was certain to him.

And you are going to take to grave, that you’ve embraced Motonari by that accident, when running into him. Yes, better never even think about this again!

_____

Motonari’s running his white gloved fingers through his hair and grunts in annoyance, after you left. That you’ve recognized him is a great nuisance to him. It’s time to rethink his plans. That would slow things down a lot.

As if he’d actually trust a little princess like you to keep her mouth shut. What stupidity!

Casually he drives his hands on his sides to get rid of the strange feeling from your delicate arms embracing him.

Let's never talk about this again. - Yeah, better let's not.

[thatasianstereotype]

Fuck. I’m Gay.

I’ve been reading a lot of ml salt fics lately (mainly @unmaskedagain which is a literal goldmine of saltiness). And getting into the Damienette ship. Marinette really does deserves better (Fuck Canon) but so does Adrien. He is not a “sidekick”. Chat Noir and Ladybug are partners = equals. So I decided why not write a fic where Adrien gets his own happy ending in the form of a grumpy assassin-turned-vigilante that loves animals more than people. 

Somewhat of a crack writing where creative liberties were definitely taken. 

.

.

.

Lila Rossi is a bitch and everyone knew it. Well, by everyone, Adrien means himself, his good-amazing-make-pastries-for-him friend Marinette, his maybe-not-really-sure friend Chloe and his-not-that-close-really-classmate Nathaniel. 

Yeah. It was a small number. 

But Lila is still a bitch. 

Anyway, Lila’s lies and manipulations have disturbed the status quo and not in a good way. She ended up making the majority of the class fawn over her like she was a perfect goddess and not a pompous-temperamental-hormonal teenager. Teenagers were prone to be gullible; he can understand his classmates being inclined to believe her. But this was utterly ridiculous (man, Chloe is rubbing off on him). No. You know what’s even more ridiculous? Ms. Bustier letting Lila get away with it. She doesn’t even stop the class mistreating Marinette who claimed she was a bully just because of you know who - Fucking Lila Rossi. The audacity of that bitch and her bitchy followers, am I right? 

Growing up he watched the tv shows and the animes. High schools always had their drama but he thought that was to get some plot going on. He didn’t think it was an actual thing that happens in real life. But he was proven wrong. Françoise Dupont High School had their drama and it was way worse than what he watched on screen. 

The worst part was that he couldn’t get away from Lila. Or he’ll be pulled from school (Fuck you Dad). He had to sit next to that bitch and listen to her drone on and on about things they both knew she didn’t do, about things she promised to do for her ever gullible followers friends. And couldn’t say anything against it if he wanted to stay in school. But even his discreet questioning didn’t do that much. It got some of the class to think something’s possibly fishy with her stories but not enough to think Lila was evil. So he just gave up. Because what was even the point? 

He was distancing himself from Alya and Nino. He couldn’t really be friends with people who thought Lila held the sun and moon. They didn’t hang out as much as they used to and he made excuses when they did invite him to stuff. Lately, he was making outrageous excuses - like he had to take his cat to the vet even though he didn’t have a cat - to see if they caught on. They didn’t. It was fun but he didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad about that. But feeling sad-depressed-pain over it was a bitch so he decided to take his victories as they come. 

Chloe had left the school earlier on. Her mom wanted to spend one-on-one time with her daughter (Yeah, Audrey is better at being a mother here). She was completely out of this drama mess. And Nathaniel kept his head down to not paint a target on himself. 

His only consolation and ally in this whole mess was Marinette. His darling angel. His sunshine incarnate. His own goddess (not like that bitch Lila let’s get one thing straight). 

When he was feeling overwhelmed (which was a lot), he spent it at her house. They spent it discussing fashion, trash talking Liar-la and the sheep class, playing video games, and making/eating the best baked goods in all of Paris. If he wasn’t at his photo shoots or at school, he was at her house. And with how often they spent time with each other, it wasn’t long before they accidentally revealed their alter egos to each other. 

(The class’ Everyday Ladybug was actually Ladybug. How amazing is that! Isn’t Marinette the absolute coolest?!) 

Since they outed themselves to each other, they had to give up their miraculous. And new heroes had to be chosen. As the guardian, Marinette decided to give the Ladybug miraculous to herself and the Cat one to Adrien. And make them the superheros of Paris. 

(Just when he thought that Marinette couldn’t get any cooler) 

They both collectively decided that being friends were for the best and put away their obsession crush over the other far far away. Now they were best friends-almost siblings. Oh who was he kidding? He was an honorary Dupain-Cheng. Marinette and her parents said so. And who was he to deny the goddess? 

All was well. 

Until he met this gorgeous boy with raven black hair and piercing green eyes that made him question everything in life. 

Like fuck. His life wasn’t hard enough already? 

.

It was a slow patrol. Just stopped a few petty crimes. No akuma tonight. He wasn’t really expecting much to happen.

Mari said patrolling regularly gives citizens a sense of security and it helps if one of them were on scene if an akuma does appear. 

He didn’t mind. He loved running on the rooftops and feeling the wind in his face. After some time, he stopped and stood on top of one of the tallest buildings. Just soaking the view. The peace and serenity of it all. Seeing the glowing lights of his beloved city. Seeing the Eiffel Tower standing tall and proud. 

(Forget school. Forget Liar-la and her hoard of bitches) 

This was his city. This was why he fights Hawk Moth with Ladybug. They had something precious to protect. 

He was done patrolling the regular routes and all his schoolwork was already finished. He could go to sleep but he didn’t feel that tired. And he really didn’t want to go back home. Mari shared her theory on his dad being Hawk Moth. She had really good reasons and a plethora of proof. If they could switch miraculous, why couldn’t he and Mayura - most likely Nathalie? Which would explain how Gabriel got akumatized.

After all her support with dealing with Lila, he was way more inclined to believe her even without the evidence. But those things just made him more wary of his dad. And he wasn’t too stoked on spending more time than what he can get away with with the guy. Because his dad being Hawk Moth explains why he wants Lila (his strongest supporter - Chameleon and Oni-chan, anyone?) close and makes Adrien play nice with her. And anyone who enables Lila’s bitchiness is on his enemy list. 

Anyway, he was out here to enjoy the good mood not think about evil bitches and evil dads. So he sat himself down and enjoyed the sights. It was more calming than you would think. 

He heard cars blaring and even a dog barking. The slight breeze felt nice. The moon was pretty bright tonight. The stars too. There was a lone couple walking through the park. There was also another teen in black running on rooftops a few buildings away. 

Wait. 

What? 

He blinked and looked again. Huh, there was another teen in black running on rooftops. And it was not a hallucination. 

What the actual fuck?

He was instantly on his feet, baton already in hand as he raced across the roof to reach said stranger. 

“Hey!” 

But because he was the lucky owner of the unlucky miraculous, the moment he said that, the guy was about to jump off a building to presumably roll onto the next one like Chat was watching him do beforehand. But his call made him lose focus and Chat watched horrified as the guy slipped and started falling into the alley. 

Oh fuck! Mari was going to fucking kill this dumbass kitty!

He hoped to everything that Mari thinks is holy that he makes it in time. Extending his baton, he used it as a huge Pogo stick to basically catapult himself towards the stranger and wrapped his arms around him as he braced himself for the full weight of hitting the gravel at this height and speed. But he wasn’t that that concerned. His suit protected him from the majority of the injuries that would’ve occurred if he wasn’t wearing it. It hurt but it isn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Remember earlier? He takes his victories as they come. 

This was not the smartest of ideas, he’ll admit. Mari had the brains to be honest. But it wasn’t bad if he say so. And he does say so. 

He rolled over and immediately looked over the stranger that was remarkably unharmed in this whole mess. 

And oh.

Oh.

The stranger was taller than he was with a lithe and lean frame. He had raven black hair that complimented his tanned skin and gorgeous green eyes that pierced through him, making his heart do funny things. 

He was not expecting him to look as hot as he did. He wore a simply black t-shirt and jeans but he looked like a fucking Adonis, what the fuck.  Even the moon shone down on him, highlighting his handsome features even more.  

He shook himself of those thoughts and focused on what was more important. “I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” 

He was rudely pushed away, but he didn’t take offense. He did cause the guy to fall after all. 

“Do not touch me.” (What kind of accent is that?) “I’m fine. You are truly a moronic imbecile of the highest accord to yell like that. And what are you even supposed to be? Some kind of knock-off Catwoman?” 

At that, Chat looked at Hot-And-Sexy weird. “Are you new here? I’m the superhero Chat Noir. I protect Paris with Ladybug.”

“You’re joking.”

“I know I come off as the goofy hero because I make purr-fect puns all the time but I’m not joking about this.” 

He took out his phone to show the foreign (since he’s obviously not a Parisian) stranger the akuma attacks and Ladybug and Chat Noir being a dynamic duo, saving Paris and beating Hawk Moth. Ok, he showed the stranger a lot of stuff. Sue him. He gets to brag about his Princess. And himself too.

“I never heard about this before.” Hot-And-Sexy (he has got to come up with a better name) said afterward. “3 years this has been going on? Why didn’t you ask for help from the Justice League or other superheros?” 

Chat shrugged. “We tried. But they said we’re obviously pulling a prank and making this all up. So we stopped asking for help.”

For some reason this made Hot-And-Sexy angry. “They ignored your plea for help and left you to fight for yourselves?”

“Pretty much, yea.” 

“You and Ladybug are children.” 

“Excuse me? Are you doubting our ability to protect our city?" He was not apologetic at the sharp edge his voice took. Forget looking hot. How dare he? The audacity really. 

Hot-And-Sexy shook his head. “I’m not. I know some child superheroes who are adequate at their jobs and a few who are remarkable like Robin in Gotham. But the majority of them had adult mentors to guide them. From what you’ve shown me, you and Ladybug had no one. You were left alone to fend for yourself with essentially no help.” 

He never thought of it that way. But hearing it like that made him think: Fuck Adults Who Chose Children to Fight Their War For Them and Fuck Hawk Moth For Putting Them In This Position In The First Place. 

You know what. Just to clear all his bases - Fuck Everyone But The Dupain-Chengs. 

Chat couldn’t help but shrug, not quite knowing what to say to that. “Life is a bitch, I’ve come to find out. But enough of that. Why were you running on rooftops anyway?”

“It calms me down.”

Relatable. 

“Is...Is your tail moving?” 

“Huh?” He looked behind him to see his tail was indeed moving lazily. “Yeah. I’m called Chat Noir for a reason.”

“May I touch them?” Chat was used to people (usually kids) pulling on his tail to see if it was real (It was). And it really hurts because they usually rough. Not that he blames them. Kids don’t know any better. Still, he usually says no when people ask. 

But Hot-And-Sexy had such a sincere expression that he said yes. To his surprise and delight, Hot-And-Sexy was extremely gentle (Can this guy be anymore perfect?) and it felt nice to be petted like that. Curse his touch-starvation (again Fuck you Dad).

Hot-And-Sexy was apparently fascinated by his ears and tail. 

“Are you a meta?” He noticed how Hot-And-Sexy’s voice turned softer and fonder (or was he imagining that?).

“Nah. I’m fully human. I just got powers to transform into this.” He looked down at his phone seeing that the time was nearing 2 am.

“Have you suffered any injuries from your stupid stunt?” 

“Hmm?” Chat looked back at him before gesturing to his body. “Don’t worry. I may not look like it but I can take it.”

He can practically feel Hot-And-Sexy rolling his eyes. “What an utter dolt.” 

But there wasn’t any heat behind it so he didn’t take it to heart. 

“Thanks, babe.” 

“That was an insult.”

“And I’m taking it like a compliment.”

Chat stood up and stretched his limbs. Hot-And-Sexy doing the same but dusting off his clothes instead.

“So, uh, need any help getting home?”

“I am perfectly capable of finding my own way, thanks.” 

“Ok. Have a nice night.” He was about to leave when he was caught off guard by Hot-And-Sexy staring at him for a good few seconds, making his limbs freeze in place at the heavy attention.

Before he said. “You should try contacting the Batfamily in Gotham about Hawk Moth. They’re used to dealing with weird things. I’m sure they won’t turn you or Ladybug away.” 

Chat was a bit distracted by how intensely those green eyes focused on him, making his heart beat faster and his cheeks turn a vibrant red. 

He was so screwed. 

He used his baton to shoot himself up so he can run on rooftops, hurrying to the Dupain-Cheng bakery. 

.

“Mari! I think I’m gay!”

“It’s 2 in the morning, Chaton. Go to sleep and we’ll talk about it in the morning.” 

.

After a good night’s rest (and thank everything that was right in the world that today was a weekend), Adrien told Mari all about Hot-And-Sexy. And yes, he did call the stranger that out loud. His everything-that-actually-matters sister simply took it in stride after giggling a bit. They spent the majority of the day discussing emotions and everything that came with that bundle. 

Before he finally came to a conclusion. 

He is definitely gay (He liked girls but not like like them). And most definitely had a crush on Hot-And-Sexy with the pretty green eyes. 

Good news: He is no longer having a sexuality crisis. 

Bad news: He is going through an emotional crisis. 

Like dealing with these feelings that is making his stomach flip flop over and over again? The only one he ever had to deal with was the one he had on Ladybug and that (he talked with Mari about it months before. She was amazing with these emotional matters) was more of a hero-worship crush than anything really romantic. 

And his crush on Hot-And-Sexy was so much more. 

.

So it’s been about 2 weeks since he encountered Hot-And-Sexy. And he still haven’t figured out what else to call him. But the nickname was growing on him. 

(He also told Mari about asking the Batfam for help but she was a bit apprehensive after the disastrous attempts of convincing the Justice League. He shrugged, trusting her opinion and left it at that) 

Anyway, Lila was being her usual bitchy self. Father was being non-existent like always. Mari was his only source of sanity at school. And Hawk Moth was being a bitch. 

Because of course, the day before they have a huge test, he decides to akumatize someone (in this case, a businessman who was really unhappy with getting fired) and cut in on study time. And this akuma took a while to defeat. Guess he drew a lot of strength from his burning hatred of the failings of the corporate world. 

And just yesterday, a teenager who was upset at being grounded got akumatized and terrorized the city for 3 hours before Ladybug could purify her. It did however confirmed her fears. Hawk Moth was getting stronger. It took longer to defeat his monsters. They needed to find him and ended this fast. 

Adrien landed on Mari’s balcony and slipped in her room, crashing on her big comfy bed, de-transforming on the spot. Plagg sleepily floating and laying next to him on the pillow. He was so tired. And photo shoots and school drama were not helping things.

.

For the record, he was not at all expecting to see Hot-And-Sexy in a bookstore of all places. 

He was so engrossed in looking through the latest Boku no Hero Academia manga (can’t wait until Season 5 comes out) that when someone touched his shoulder, he was not proud to admit he squeaked a bit.

He turned around and his eyes widened his surprise. 

“Hot-And-Sexy!” 

It was indeed the Adonis Adrien had a huge crush on. Today he was wearing a white t-shirt paired with a blue denim jacket and black ripped jeans. Wow. He really can make anything look hot.

No. Bad Adrien. Don’t let him know you actually have a crush on him.

And oh fuck. Hot-And-Sexy was staring at the blonde and Adrien tried not to let himself get flustered. He has a very intense stare. For all he knew, Hot-And-Sexy stares at everyone like that.

Calm the fuck down, heart. You too brain.

He raised a handsome eyebrow in amusement. “Excuse me?”

Adrien felt himself burn with embarrassment, his face turning bright scarlet. No wonder he was fit for the unlucky miraculous or was this just a side-effect? Note to self, ask Mari about this later. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t get your name last time. And I just started calling you that in my head. Cause you’re really hot and you have pretty eyes.”

Fuck mouth! Why won’t you stop talking! Please for the love of everything that makes Mari a BAMF stop. Stop digging further into the hole of embarrassment! Abort mission! Abort!

“When did we meet?”

At that, he blink a few times. Oh fuck. He was not Superhero Chat Noir. He was Civilian Adrien Agreste. Mari was definitely murdering his dumbass tonight. Lightning please strike him down right now. Where was an unlucky lightning strike when you need it?

After a few seconds of his horrified silence, Hot-And-Sexy chuckled (he had such a nice laugh). “You are extremely lucky I already figured out your alter ego beforehand, Chaton.”

Before Adrien could even unwrap that statement, he held out a hand and had a dangerously sexy smirk on his face. “My name is Damian Wayne. Would you care to get a cup of coffee with me?”

And Adrien nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak. He can deal with the superhero thing later when he can think straight (hah!) and is not distracted by Damian’s beautiful smile and alluring green eyes and perfect everything.

.

Guess what?

Ya Boi got game.

(At least, he likes to think he does)

After a successful coffee date (was it a date? Please let it be a date), they exchanged numbers (cue internal squealing) and met up a few times afterward to hang out.

Apparently, Dami was here on business to deal with something for Wayne Enterprises.

“Aren’t you 17?”

“Father believes in preparing us when we’re young.”

Dami was amazingly sweet. Arrogant and pretentious with a stick up his ass but sweet. He treats stray animals with such reverence that Adrien’s heart melt every time he sees it.

It was an added bonus when Damian scorned Lila with cruel words and disgusted looks when she tried to cut in Adrien and Dami’s date(?)/meetup(?)/spending-time-together event.

She cried and whined afterwards and Adrien has to endure his father’s lecture. But it was totally worth it.

Oh yeah. Mari was not pleased that he accidentally outed himself to a civilian. But nothing that a couple of sad kitty eyes can’t fix.

“You are so lucky you’re cute, kitty-cat.” Mari grumbled but she was smiling. “I just need to have a good talk with him on the importance of secrecy.”

.

That day Damian Wayne learned to fear a certain Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

.

It was 2 weeks later when Adrien woke up to a package next to his futon in Mari’s room. When he opened it, he saw the Butterfly and Peacock miraculous inside.

There was a card beneath it. And in beautiful cursive script read: 

I dearly hope you enjoy my courting gift, mon amour. Allow me the honor to formally ask you out on a date. I look forward to hearing favorably from you soon.

- Damian Wayne

He couldn’t believe it.

“Mari! Damian likes me back!”

“Chaton, I swear. It is 2 in the morning.”

Next

[stark-tony]

underrated irondad and spiderson fic recs part 1

Men's Synch 3m Platform by loudestfandomsoftheworld

summary: or 5 times Peter Parker goes dumpster diving, and one time he does something else... " “You took my nephew dumpster diving?” Ben asked incredulously.

 His wife stood tall with a toddler strapped to her chest, tugging at one end of a couch with all her might. “I did not,” 

“Twash!” Peter yelled."

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

do you even remember what the world looks like? by iron_spider

summary: Tony’s heart has been working on overdrive since this whole thing started. Friday has a countdown clock plastered on the heads up display, but it feels like hieroglyphics to him at this point, like some ancient language he could never master.

Because when Peter Parker is missing, things start losing their meaning real quick.

“Should be around here,” Rhodey says on the com. May is still on the other line, listening in, because once a certain amount of time goes by without word from Peter, things move into Extremely Worried Aunt territory. They’re already in Tony Is Panicking territory, and when both of those territories overlap it’s never a good time for anybody.

Time? What the hell is time? His mind is blanking numbers out entirely. Minutes are seconds are hours are years.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Empty Casket by Jen27ny

summary: After the Vulture, Tony should have known better.

He should have listened to Peter.

But he didn’t.

And now, Peter is dead.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Patient #2252 by TheSoulOfAStrawberry

summary:  When a warehouse comes down on Spider-Man’s head and leaves him with a brain injury, Queens social worker Bianca Browne and Dr Grace Li of NY-Presbytarian Hospital find themselves racing the NYPD to uncover Spidey’s identity and get him help before he can be charged with a litany of crimes.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: police brutality

That's why they call me mr. fahrenheit by SparrowFlight246

summary: Peter’s on fire.

He wakes up fast, and before he even gets the chance to feel the pain, the aches, the dizziness, he feels the heat. It’s all encompassing, a raging inferno blooming from within him and burning him up from the inside out, and god, it—

—god, it hurts.

-

Peter gets whammied by a 24-hour superbug, and Tony’s left to keep him alive until tomorrow morning.

It sounds a hell of a lot easier than it ends up being.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

not like megatron by iron_spider

summary: “Hi! This is Peter Parker, I can’t get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back later! Hopefully not too much later, but don’t get your hopes up!”

Tony knows that message by heart. He’s heard it hundreds of times, in a greyer world, and it sends shivers down his spine as he climbs into the car.

He doesn’t think about that place. That half-world. No way, that’s done, that’s over, that’s history.“Hey, kid, don’t you know it’s bad etiquette to go and disappear on your birthday? Not allowed, really, really bad vibes from the universe. What’s going on with your suit? I wasn’t watching. Nope. Just got an alert. What’s going on? Uh, call me back.” He clears his throat and hangs up like a moron, driving out into the street.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater by frostysunflowers

summary:  ''Dying.''

''You’re not dying.''

''Totally am.'

'''God, I hope not, otherwise May will skin me alive.''

or

A weekend visit to the cabin doesn't go according to plan.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, humor

warnings: none

an irondad's misguided approach to homesickness by livingtheobsessedlife

summary: Peter mentions it once. Once. That he’s maybe kinda sorta vaguely somewhat homesick. MIT is no Queens, that’s all really. All in all, Pete’s having a great time at college. Really, truly.

The thing is that Tony’s never really taken the whole ‘only mentioning it once’ thing all that well. Not when it comes to Peter at least.

This time is no exception.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

you held your pride like you should have held me by searchingforstars

summary: “I had to take the risk!” Peter snaps. “I saved your life.”

Tony’s stare hardens. “Yeah, and nearly ended your goddamn own. This isn’t a trade-off. It wasn’t your call to make.”

“You would have done the same thing to protect me,” Peter points out. Tony just seethes at the statement.

“I don’t care about what you think I would have done. You are not me. And I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself."

--

or, as the timer ticked down, Peter knew his only option was to take things into his own hands. He just didn’t expect Tony to be mad at him for saving his life.

pairings: none

tags: angst, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

always on duty by parkrstark

summary:  Peter manages to convince Tony to take him to a gala, but when Tony is hurt, he realizes that it's just as dangerous to be Tony Stark as it is to be Iron Man. 

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, humor

warnings: none

Out of Left Field by blondsak, seekrest

summary: Even if Tony didn’t end up becoming a big fan of the Mets, Peter knew they’d still have a great time at the game. And the fact that Tony wanted to go with Peter badly enough to make it clear that he should buy a pair of tickets as a birthday gift?

Peter shakes his head fondly.

Maybe for once the month of May was going to work out for him after all.

pairings: spideychelle

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

three weeks, two days, seven hours by crowkag

summary: It was a mess. A real mess. Peter had been gone for three weeks, two days, and seven hours, taken right out from under their noses.

And Tony was laying on the floor.

(AKA “you’ll always get there first”, but from Tony’s POV.)

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: 

for as long as i live and as long as i love (i will never not think about you) by searchingforstars

summary: When Tony first started to forget things, Peter thought maybe it was just age. People’s memories fade as they get older, right? Minds get weaker. It’s just natural.

But Tony has arguably the sharpest mind of the 21st century. Peter should have realised that it was never going to be just getting weaker. It was never going to be just age.

No - not when the sharpest mind of the 21st century also happened to come into contact with the deadliest amount of gamma radiation known to man five years ago.

--

or, Tony’s sacrifice is still haunting them five years later. Peter has to come to terms with the fact that Tony’s memory is fading.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

a dream is a wish by floweryfran

summary: Tony seems to panic for a moment, shifting his weight foot to foot, before spitting out in one mouthful, “I have a business trip in Florida right before your spring break and I talked to May and she says I can bring you to Disney for the week once it’s done ahhh.” He then breathes, grins plastically, and holds his hands out, like, I’m Tony Stark, hold your applause.

Peter runs the words through his head no less than three times to make sure he had understood them properly. “Disney—you and me—spring break?” he repeats.

Tony nods, hair flopping. “I mean, like, don’t feel obligated to say yes, but I thought it would be fun since May says you’ve never gone and she would’ve been working for your whole break anyway, y’know, at least this way we won’t be worrying about you sitting home alone for hours doing G-d only knows what—building accidental robot armies or something, or, worse, becoming a couch potato and forgetting every bit of knowledge I’ve ever carefully placed in that rat trap you call a brain—”

“Tony,” Peter says, waving his hands to shut Tony up. Something warm sits in the core of his chest, hovering. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, yeah, for sure, let’s—Disney. Let’s go. Wow.”

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Of birthday cake and millennium falcons by frostysunflowers

summary: "You still haven’t answered my question," MJ says, taking another sip of her juice.

 "Isn’t it obvious?" Tony replies, scratching at one of the scars on his neck with the end of a screwdriver. "It’s Ben’s birthday."

"And Ben’s birthday warrants a…" MJ waves a hand vaguely, "what the hell is that thing anyway?"

or

Tony has no self control when it comes to birthday parties and his grandson.

pairings: spideychelle

tags: fluff

warnings: none

what i have, i give to you by aatticsaltt

summary:  Tony would give everything to Peter Parker, if he asked for it. When May calls telling Tony she thinks Peter isn't feeling well, he drops everything to go check up on his favorite spider kid.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff, hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Smile! by aatticsaltt

summary:  Taking Peter to Disney World was one of Tony's better ideas.

pairings: pepperony

tags: fluff

warnings: none

and when it's hard, i'll place your head into my hands by hopeless_hope

summary: “Tony,” Pepper sing-songs to get his attention. “Your mother hen is showing.”

“What?” he snaps indignantly. “I am not a mother hen. This is just... concern. Of the average kind. Perfectly normal.”

“Of course,” Pepper humors him, and he shoots her a dirty look as he types out a quick text to Peter.

or

It's been five days since Tony's heard from Peter, who's away at college, and Tony is not coping well. (Neither is Peter.)

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

Of Wally-Crawly Harnesses and Over-Enthusiastic Hat-Bestowing Capabilities by TheOceanIsMyInkwell

summary: Tony raises a brow at him in triumph, then sniffs and rubs the side of his nose. “Besides, think of it this way. Now you got a bullet-proof neck.”

“Nobody would even shoot a sad-looking orphan bundled like a spring roll in Red Heart yarn,” Peter points out. “That’s just low.”

“Excuse me, young buck, I resent the implication that I would let Red Heart come within an inch of your skin.”

“You’re insufferable,” Peter says flatly. “I hate you.”

“And just for that, I think this calls for those wool socks I was working on,” Tony says brightly.

“No--no, wait--”

“It’s time to learn that your consequences have actions, Parker--”

“Wait, wait, I love your knitting, I think it’s super healthy and fulfilling and honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to you since you retired!” Peter hollers at the man’s figure as it retreats quickly down the hallway. -- After Peter faints into hibernation because he can't thermoregulate, Tony isn't taking anymore chances. Out come the wool skeins and the knitting needles.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

how do you sandwich!? by killerqueenwrites

summary: “Why are you buttering toast before you toast it?

”“I’m not toasting this.”

“Then what are you doing?” Peter demands.

“I’m making a sandwich.”

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

What I Can't Live Without by aatticsaltt

summary: Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. Heavy lies the heart of the father who has to watch his son bow beneath the weight of the world.

or: When Peter calls Happy needing a ride out of the Netherlands, it's Tony who comes to the rescue.

pairings: none

tags: angst

warnings: none

Tales from Quarantine by just_a_hungry_author

summary: Peter, Morgan, and Tony are all stuck inside during the Coronavirus quarantine. Morgan learns to play Monopoly, Tony struggles to help with 1st grade math, and a prank war ensues.

God, this is the longest two weeks ever.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

if we have each other by ftmpeter

summary: "Do you ever just, like, feel like you’re upside down?"

"You are upside down, Pete."

"Sounds fake."

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

What Happens in the Blanket Fort Stays in the Blanket Fort by TheOceanIsMyInkwell

summary: “Well, I was gonna discuss with May some legal particulars about changes to my will that involve you,” Tony drawls, “but looks like I’ll just have to change my plans.”

There’s a beat. And then a yodel: “I’m just a poor boy, I need--”

“If not for this goddamn quarantine, I’d be there in a flash to shut you up myself, Spidey-Tighties.”

“You made these ‘tights’.”

“Funsie-onesie.”

“Mr. Stark.”

“Cooty-footies.”

“Mr. Stark. I’m begging you. What does that even mean.” -- Tony comes over to keep Peter company during the quarantine while the kid waits for May to come home from work at the hospital. Bants are had. Feelings are spilled. And maybe, just maybe, a hug or two is shared.

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

On his Shoulders by snarkymuch

summary: “Please, please,” Tony begged, “Keep breathing, kid. Don’t do this to me. You can’t leave me like this.” The morning started like any other for Tony. He kissed Pepper good morning and sipped his coffee. He scanned his emails and chatted with Pepper about the vacation they were always planning but never took. The calm should have been a warning, as the storm always followed.

OR

Peter and Tony get trapped in a building collapse and Peter is gravely injured.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

coronapocalypse by peterstank

summary:  “This whole quarantine thing shouldn’t even apply to me.”

“Uh, I beg to differ, it’s very serious,” replies Tony’s voice, slightly muffled like he’s got his phone pressed between his shoulder and chin. “We’re all on lockdown, which means no leaving your place unless it’s for emergencies.”

“And what qualifies as an emergency?”

There’s a pause.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not in your apartment?”

pairings: none

tags: fluff, humor

warnings: none

Little White Lies by snarkymuch

summary:  Peter gets injured and tries to treat it himself, hiding it from Tony, but he can't keep it hidden forever.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Peter Parker and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Semester by just_a_hungry_author

summary: "So tell me, Kid." Tony said, patting the space next to him. "What's been going on?"

"Nothing's been going on." Peter denied, but he sat down anyway.

"Pete, don't bottle your emotions up. Only I'm allowed to do that."

When Peter again didn't smile at his joke, Tony continued. "I know you're stressed, Bud. But tell me why so I can help you."

"It's nothing you can help." Peter mumbled.

"Can I at least try?"

"I've just been having a bad week."

OR: Peter’s been having a rough time at college, Tony tries to jump in and help. 3000 words of pure fluff.

pairings: none

tags: fluff

warnings: none

Windy Webs by silentsaebyeok

summary:  And that was it. He was officially an idiot. Peter didn’t mean to be dramatic, but this was one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to him, even if there was no one around to witness the fall of the century. -- Peter goes web-slinging in dangerous weather and gets seriously injured. It doesn't help that he has to spend the whole summer living with the consequences.

pairings: none

tags: hurt/comfort

warnings: none

Peter gets the chickenpox by snarkymuch

summary:  Peter and Morgan both catch the chickenpox. Morgan's case is mild, but Peter's is severe. Tony takes care of them both.

pairings:  none

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: none

[pixiedoodlein]

10 days until school and I’m no more decided than I was a week ago. I flip flop ten times day about what might be best. A is sick of hearing me talk about it. He doesn’t disagree with my risk assessment but he is sick of talking about it.

It caused an issue with his friend, a friend who is his best friend and is unvaccinated and works in a jail. Months ago we told friend he could only visit (this place is their boyhood dream) once he’s vaccinated. Friend typically believes in science and is very health conscious but his gf is a moron Trump lover and her family the same and that’s who he’s been spending all his time with since this all started. When I asked friend why he’s not vaccinated he said he’s young & healthy, didn’t trust the vaccines, would do it when they got full fda approval. Plenty of young healthy people are dead of this. Anyway then I asked ok so what if you give it to someone who isn’t and dies, people incarcerated in the jail he works in and don’t have the luxury of social distancing, and he was like eh whatever. So yes friend is an asshole, but his best friend for decades, friend has always been kind of an asshole but has many redeeming qualities too. So we said no visit. But then in July when there was no covid here and no covid where he lives and we were blissfully living our covid free lives we loosened up and said he could visit with two negative tests. But then covid got bad again and when asshole friend contacted A the other day to say he took time off in late Sept to visit, A said sorry, it’s fully fda approved now you have no excuses not to vaccinate, we’re worried about our unvaccinated kids, and as of now you can’t visit but hey maybe if you get vaccinated and the numbers look better we can reassess in a month and you can come. Friend was a total dick about it, didn’t understand our point of view at all, stressed A about it, who was in a bad mood about it for days afterward.

Then there’s the neighbors. I had a chat with the kids and a chat with the mom. I framed it as we love them so much and I know they’re careful but I think we should all be more careful while the numbers are so rising (aka only outdoor hangouts) and we are careful but I’ve heard terrifying stories from doctor friends about kids and babies getting very sick, and they have a baby who I don’t want us to make sick, and she said she agreed. The kids have been pretty good about making the adjustment from constant sleepovers to playing outside but M keeps asking me “the kids need to pee are they allowed to use the bathroom, the kids are hungry are they allowed to come inside even for one minute for a snack,” and I feel like the villain (I’ve been saying yes to pee, snacks I’ll bring out). Everyone’s been understanding but nobody is getting what I mean when I say only outdoor socializing. All the kids keep asking me when I’ll take them to town again for ice cream, “but it’s outside” (um yeah but the car’s not), asking their mom to ask me for sleepovers even though they know what the answer will be. The other day they were playing in our yard then it started raining and they were like “we can’t walk home in the rain”- I don’t want them to walk home in the rain, but again the car is indoors!- so I drove them home (but made M stay at our house). They’re not my kids so I can’t make them wear masks and it feels like now I am in the position of being the mean parent who’s psycho about covid, which in a way I am, but it would help me to stick to my guns and feel okay about sticking to them if the government policies matched the severity of the situation, ie mask mandates in public places (instead of stores posting polite recommendations), vaccine mandates, virtual learning options, etc.

Which brings me to school. After selling M hard on real school, then I sold her hard on home school. She already “did” 3rd grade last year (as much as me teaching her in my pajamas counts as doing), but this district has an earlier cut off than the city, so she’s in 3rd grade again here. Which is fine by me- her birthday is the same day as the very late nyc cut off (12/31) and I hated that she was the absolute youngest. I used to beg the school to hold her back and they’d say “but why she’s doing so well!” not understanding that I was thinking ahead to the teen years. But anyway, despite her haphazard pj’d professor, she seemed to learn a lot last year so homeschool this year could basically be unschool. She’d traipse around the forest identifying birds and trees with A and her brother, reading for pleasure, and I’d spend an hour here and there reviewing some worksheets with her so she’d be on track when she starts real school after she gets vaccinated. She was into the idea, until she found out she and one of the neighbor kids are in the same class. Now she absolutely wants to go to real school, AND ride the school bus. The school bus part makes me very nervous. While there is now a school mask mandate (but will it be enforced? what are their lunch procedures, what % of teachers are vaccinated, what % of the older kids in the same building as the little kids are vaccinated, did they actually really update their ventilation system?) and a bus mask rule, it’s a long rural route (15 min drive or 45 min bus) and I have no faith that bus windows will be open and all riders will be masked the whole time.

So just tell her she can go to school but has to be driven by a parent, right? Not so simple. I was offered a job at a (somewhat, commuting distance) nearby nonprofit- an easy low stress job in a bastion of liberalism with very very nice smart coworkers, excellent work life balance, a writing job that sounds made for me, like the job description is exactly what I would put together if I were putting together my dream job (except the pay, which is half what I was making at a fancy DC nonprofit, but high for this area, and our housing cost is half so it should be fine if A can get away from little guy long enough to bring in some money too). It’s mostly remote but approx one day a week in the office and some days there will be things I need to attend out in the community (not necessarily our community, they serve the whole region). It won’t always be the same day in the office and the office is an hour away- so on those days A would have no car to get her to and from school, since I’d need to leave before school starts and get home after it’s done. So I guess we need to buy a new car? Aside from this issue we really don’t need a second car now, were planning to get one eventually, but not until A’s business has enough projects to justify the cost.

Despite its many demands/challenges/ stressors, home school is sounding easier to me at this point (especially because she already did this grade), except she WANTS to go to school. Someone talk me out of putting some lipstick and a pantsuit on her and taking her to get vaccinated. I know, I know: the 5-11 dosage is 1/3 of the 12-adult dosage. The doctors I’ve spoken to are split on this hypothetical kamikaze mission. The doctors I’ve spoken to are also split on me and A going to a pharmacy now for booster. It’s been almost 6 months since our 2nd dose. We do not have compromised immune systems. This county has way more doses than demand and I would feel better sending M to school (bus or not) if we had our boosters and she had a first dose- moral and scientific quandaries aside- because there is A LOT of covid here now, a lot of covid everywhere now, and I feel like we are returning to regular life at the time when we should be most hunkered down.

Which brings me to the data. Per capita there are as many known cases here as in nyc, except nyc has a 50% higher vax rate, much more mask usage, better medical system. People are not getting enough tests here, there is a higher positivity rate, and so I think the actual number of cases is much higher than the reported number of cases. It seems like, friends here and in the city and in the suburbs (I just broke up with a friend in the suburbs because she professes to be a good democrat but is hosting a bonafide super spreader event and vacationing in a place with 39% positivity and a collapsed health care system), are thinking of covid as something you catch from strangers- they wear masks in stores- but aren’t careful at all around close friends and family (so many extended family gatherings, so many, cousins and grandparents and half-siblings and aunts and uncles and whoever), when this is a disease that kills via the people you love most, the ones who’d never intentionally hurt you.

[sunsetcurvecuddles]

Hello you told me not to hold back so I’m gonna be ANNOYING feel free to ignore indefinitely until you’re feeling it but I’m gonna send you like a bunch of prompts cause I can’t sleep and am stalling finishing my own fic.

First one: Bobby (obviously), Reggie or Luke or friends I don’t even care, tea and blankets

lol hi have a rebuke cuddle-puddle disaster, also available on ao3 here. warning for swearing and very vague allusions to physical child abuse.

i guess we belong to each other | reggielukebobby | 1.8k words

--

Luke has his guitar in his lap and his writing notebook by his side even though it's late at night. He's playing his acoustic, so that he has no chance of stirring Bobby's parents from where he's sat in their studio, and though he'd never admit it to anyone, it's cold enough that he's found one of Alex's hoodies in the back of the studio, a black one Alex never wears any more, and he's bundled up in it to try to fight off the chills. He regrets storming out earlier this evening — not because his parents might be worried, he's still too mad at them for that, but because he misses his own warm bed in a house with central heating.

But it's late, and he doesn't want to bother Bobby, who's already been generous enough as it is (and is exceptionally grumpy when he's woken in the middle of the night). So Alex's old hoodie, smelling vaguely of the dusty studio and distantly of Alex, will have to do.

A noise distracts Luke from his writing. Something outside the studio, maybe an animal, but it sounded like footsteps. Cautiously, he draws his guitar closer, running through what he could say if it's Bobby's parents, his heart suddenly rabbit-fast in his chest.

A head pokes through the door.

Luke's shoulders drop with relief.

It's Reggie.

He looks a little scruffy, not like himself, because usually Reggie pays such close attention to his appearance, fusses over his hair and colour-codes his outfits and shaves with the precision of a professional painter. But he kinda looks messy, which makes Luke's stomach feel even colder than the air around him.

“Oh! Hey, man,” Reggie laughs, putting on a big smile, and it'd fool anyone else — Reggie's too experienced at this for his own good. “I didn't know you'd be here!”

“Hi, Reg,” says Luke, sounding a little distracted even to his own ears as he carefully looks Reggie over. He's not walking like he's been hurt, and there are no visible injuries. So that's something. Jesus, Luke wouldn't know what to do if Reggie turned up here with a fresh version of the bruises Luke sometimes catches him trying to hide. “You, uh — you good?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Reggie agrees easily, saunters into the studio and slumps down on the couch next to Luke. The relaxed way he moves soothes Luke's worry somewhat. “The house was just — ugh. You know how they can be.” Looking over at Luke, Reggie adds, “Hey, isn't that Alex's hoodie? I was wondering what had happened to that.”

“Hey!” Luke sputters, a little defensive. “He didn't, like, loan it to me or anything, it was just here! I found it.”

“It is cold,” Reggie concedes, pulling his flannel a little tighter around him. “Wish I'd brought my jacket, but it was in the kitchen and I didn't wanna. I dunno. Didn't wanna get in the way.”

Luke nods, puts his guitar to the side so he can press up against Reggie's side. Hip to hip, his cheek on Reggie's shoulder, links their ankles together and puts an arm over Reggie's stomach. Almost automatically, Reggie links his arms around Luke in turn.

Honestly, Luke was intending to steal some of Reggie's body heat, but after Reggie's walk outside and in such a thin layer, he thinks Reggie's probably leeching his own. Luke lets him go ahead; Reggie seems to need it more than he does.

They sit for a moment, both unusually quiet, huddling and not talking. Not so much for a lack of things to talk about, but more because any topic that comes to Luke's mind feels insurmountably complex and emotional. There’s so much stuff he can't tell Reggie — so much stuff Reggie isn't telling him. So they sit together and try to create some warmth without the need for disclosure.

Until there's another set of scuffled footsteps outside.

“Not Alex too,” Reggie sighs, at a whispered volume so that the newcomer can't hear him, “he squirms so much in his sleep, man, I can't share this pull-out with him again.”

Luke muffles a laugh with the back of his hand, but he can't help worry it's Alex, too. Things have been... okay, he thinks, with Alex's folks since he came out, but he also knows Alex hoped for better. Suspects there are things Alex isn't telling them (so they all have that in common).

But it's not Alex. Preceded by an armful of blankets that he's almost tripping on, Bobby staggers in, still in his pajamas and with his eyes almost all the way closed. “Luke? It's fucking freezing, I thought I'd—” He stops when he gets far enough in to see Reggie on the couch too. “Oh, shit.”

“Hey, Bobby,” says Reggie, voice a little nervous. “I hope it's okay that I—”

“Shut up,” Bobby grumbles, and dumps the whole pile of blankets on top of Reggie. “You guys are stupid. You're both out here, in the freezing cold, and neither of you come wake me up?”

“We didn't want—” Luke starts, at the same time as Reggie insists, “You were sleeping—!”

“Idiots,” Bobby growls, rubbing his eye with his sweater paw and yawning. He looks stupidly cute, like a little kid. “You're idiots, and I hate dealing with you. I'll be back.” Turning to leave the studio again, he turns back and adds, “Hurry up and burrito yourselves in those blankets, I swear to god. And Luke, isn’t that Alex’s hoodie?”

“He left it—!” Luke starts, but Bobby’s already gone, leaving Luke with Reggie, cackling at him.

—

By the time Bobby returns, Luke and Reggie have folded the couch out into its bed form, and are snuggling under the several blankets, giggling together as they talk about how grumpy Bobby had been.

“We should have woken him up,” Reggie snorts, “I think then he would have been less pissed.”

“I would have,” Bobby agrees, sounding somewhere between menacing and amused, as he reappears over them. His hair is all shaggy in his face. He's carrying a teapot. And cups. “Sit up.”

Luke does right away, Reggie pulling himself up a little slower. Bobby sits cross-legged at the foot of the couch-bed, tucking his socked toes under his own legs to keep warm, and pours them each a mug of what smells like peppermint tea. Suddenly, Luke can't imagine anything better in the world. When Bobby offers him a cup, he takes it eagerly, wrapping his cold hands around it and enjoying the steam wafting up to his face.

“Wow,” says Reggie softly, eyes wide, “thanks, Bobby.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Luke echoes, letting out a sigh as he takes his first sip.

“Forget it,” Bobby says, a little bitey. Luke knows it's because Bobby hates being seen as nice, so he doesn't take it personally, and he knows Reggie won't either. He has his own cup, which he drinks as though it's done something to offend him, scowling off into the corner of the studio. Reggie nudges Bobby with his foot from under the layers of blankets, and a tiny smile tugs at Bobby's mouth as he nudges Reggie back with his elbow.

After the cup of tea, Luke feels better. He feels warmer on the inside, now, and sleepy too. Reggie is starting to get that dopey, slow blink that shows he's on the verge of sleep as well. Bobby clears his throat and holds out a hand, beckoning for their empty cups. Luke and Reggie hand them over.

“Okay,” says Bobby, after a pause. “G'night, guys.” He goes to stand, but Reggie leans forward and catches Bobby's sleeve.

“Would you stay?” he asks, as if he can't help himself, as if on sheer impulse, but he doesn’t look embarrassed afterwards.

“Reg!” Luke says, a little startled. “It's cold out here, he won't want—”

But he sees Bobby's face, and he stops himself. Because he can see it in Bobby's eyes. That he does want. He’s Bobby, so he won't say it, his mouth pressed into a thin line, his gaze fixed on some point behind Luke and Reggie's heads, but Luke has known Bobby for too long to miss something this obvious, no matter what else Bobby can hide from him.

“That being said,” Luke backtracks hurriedly, “it would be warmer with you here, Wilson. I'm happy to be a leech.”

“That's all I'm good for, huh?” Bobby snorts, but he's already setting the mugs down on the floor near the side of the bed, already shuffling the teapot down there too. He hops up for a moment, and Luke wonders where he’s going, before he realises Bobby is just switching off the light. When Bobby comes back, he pauses, like he's not sure where he fits, and Luke and Reggie make eye contact for only a second before they move apart, leaving a space in the middle.

Bobby looks even less sure of himself, eyebrows knitted, jaw tight. His hands flex and one of them twists in the hem of his sweater. Luke gets it. It looks too much like it's on Bobby's behalf, like they’re doing it to make space for Bobby. Bobby’s always had trouble accepting anything that seems like it’s for his own benefit.

“I already sucked all Reggie's warmth up,” Luke explains.

“Yeah,” Reggie agrees immediately, and Luke loves him, “and you're warmer than Luke anyway, man. I wanna huddle with you. As a penguin, you would be my first-choice huddle-buddy.”

Bobby barks a laugh. “The fuck? What does that even mean?” Finally, he wriggles his way under the blankets in between them, and rolls his eyes when they both throw limbs over him right away, twining legs and arms together and resting cheeks on his chest.

“Like, if we were penguins. You know? In the winter?” Reggie says, like this is totally obvious and self-explanatory. “If I was a penguin, I'd be looking for the Bobby-penguin in the winter huddle to stick close to.”

“Aaand I'm at my capacity for dumb shit,” Bobby says, closing his eyes pointedly, but it's a scam, because his hands come to run through Luke and Reggie's hair. “Goodnight, morons.”

“Goodnight, Bobby,” they chorus. This close, Luke could almost brush noses with Reggie, has to try to focus his eyes to keep Reggie from getting blurry. Reggie sticks his tongue out at Luke just a little, and Luke grins back, links his fingers with Reggie’s over Bobby’s stomach, rubbing over Reggie’s knuckles until Reggie’s fingers don’t feel so much like icicles. When Luke uses his free hand to tug the neckline of Alex’s hoodie up over his nose, the familiar smell of the third piece of his heart soothes him right down.

The feel of Bobby’s fingernails on his scalp makes Luke’s eyelids flutter, and before he knows it he’s dopey, the world feeling blurrier and safer and cozier. Honestly, more like home than his own house would have. He no longer daydreams of returning to his own warm bed. Instead, he feels the way Bobby’s chest rises and falls with his breaths, pushing his and Reggie’s joined hands up and down. If he listens closely, Luke can hear Bobby’s heartbeat, familiar and steady.

Maybe the cold isn't all bad.

--

other prompt fills here :)

jatp taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @queenmolina @nickalicious @bi-reginald @malecacidd @burntchromas @jughead-is-canonically-aroace @cinnamonstickrayofsunlight @chickwiththepurpleguitar @fairylightsandrainydays @joyandthephantoms @fighttoshine @michelangelinda @queenofthequillandink 

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Twenty-Seven - Footsteps

Before you start:

This work is unbeta'd and English is not my first language. I apologize in advance for any mistakes you may find.

Victor sighed in relief as he placed his keys on the plate in the hallway, finally finding himself at home after a terrible day at work. It had been meeting after meeting, barely having time for lunch, his phone ringing off the hook, numerous emails waiting for him when he dared to look at his inbox.

To add insult to injury, his day wasn't exactly over. Victor couldn't wait to lie on his sofa and simply enjoy the evening nursing a glass of brandy with his wife in his arms, but he would have to spend it on his study instead, all alone, to attend a conference call with the team in Paris, who was in a different timezone.

His bad mood was somewhat eased with the aroma of delicious food being cooked, his heart taking solace in the sound of his wife and son's voices bantering in the kitchen. At least he was finally home, he comforted himself. For the time being, he would indulge in a hot relaxing shower and a nice dinner with his family.

Owen was always the first to notice when Victor or Andrea arrived, and as usual, he was the first to greet him, running to his arms. Although Victor had been feeling back pain pretty much all day, a customary symptom when he was overly stressed, such was immediately forgotten the moment he had his son in his arms. With heartfelt laughter, Victor threw the boy in the air, having him land safely in his arms with a very tight hug. And just like magic, Victor immediately felt better. His family was all he needed to recover from that awful day and get back on his feet to face another battle.

"What is your mother up to?" Victor asked, playfully disheveling the boy's red curls.

"She's in the kitchen, making dinner. I helped." He beamed at his father. "It's Mom's special fish and shrimp stew."

Bouillabaise, one of his favorites. Comfort food was exactly what he needed. Putting the boy down, Victor moved to the kitchen to find his wife minding the large pot on the stove. He hugged her from behind, his chin leaning on the top of her head.

"Hello, handsome." She turned her head to look at him.

"Hmm." He groaned, burying his face in the nape of her neck, taking comfort in her scent and the softness of her skin.

"Long day?" She reached back to run her fingers through his hair, slightly scratching his scalp, making Victor almost purr in delight.

"Hmmmm." He moaned, too entertained with how she was making him feel to form a proper answer.

"You’re tense." She declared as she reached back to feel his shoulders.

"Just a little tired." His arms circled her waist, as she turned to him.

"Dinner will be ready in 10." She spoke while she continued to work on the knots of his shoulders. "Get yourself out of that suit and have a shower. We got it covered here."

She playfully hit him in the chest, pushing him away from her. As revenge, Victor stole a kiss, a soft sweet kiss that made her sigh when he broke it. Feeling smug with her reaction, he left Andrea to her own devices, heading for the bedroom. A steamy shower definitely sounded very good. Despite Andy's massage, his shoulders still felt sore.

"Owen has some news for us today." His wife declared at the dinner table, winking at their son.

"Let's hear it." Victor lifted his eyes to his son, giving him his undivided attention.

"Next week it will be Career Day at my school." Owen said, excited. "They want us to bring one of our parents to class for Show and Tell, to explain to our classmates what they do for a job."

"What an excellent initiative." Victor nodded in approval, reaching for his glass of wine. "You could ask your mother, she will have a lot to talk about, between her study and LCG."

Owen didn't reply, looking down instead.

"I'm not the only option on the table here." His wife intervened. "You could go."

"Nonsense, you are clearly the best option." Victor retorted. "You could bring the GESA award to show the kids, talk about the study, your work at LCG, how your ideas may change the economy as we know it. Besides, you are practically their size. I bet they will find that both amusing and inspiring." He teased.

His wife was glaring at him, probably not happy with his witty remark.

"I think your mother should go, Owen." Victor concluded, trying to diffuse the tension his joke caused. "I'm sure she will do an excellent job."

"Would you mind coming, Mom?" Owen mumbled, looking down.

"Of course I wouldn't, Bug. It will be my pleasure." She caressed the boy's hair lovingly, a hint of sadness in her smile.

Victor watched both of them, somewhat intrigued. Why were both so morose? Weren't they happy with his suggestion?

"May I be excused?" Owen placed his napkin on the table. "I need to feed my ants."

"You may." Victor smiled. "By the way, how is the colony going?"

"Well." Owen left the kitchen without any other word.

Victor furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. When it came to his ant colony, Owen was usually a lot more talkative.

"What's the matter with him?" He almost whispered to his wife. "Did something else happen at school?"

"You are a clueless idiot." Andrea threw at him, irritated.

"What!? Why? What did I do?"

"Don't you think that if he wanted me to go, he would have asked me already?" She scolded him. "He wanted to invite you, and you shot him down before he had a chance."

"Me? You are obviously the best choice, why would he want me?"

"Because you are his father, you big moron!" She almost yelled, carefully adjusting her tone after. "Look, you are his father figure, his male example, the one that he looks up to. He never really had anything like that before. This is important for him, he finally has a father he can be proud of. Basically, he wants to show you off to his friends. God only knows why, you’re an idiot in a suit."

For a brief moment, Victor recalled the moment he sought out for his father's attention and approval, only to be met with closed doors and reprimands on how children shouldn’t waste an adult's time with trivialities. He remembered how much it hurt him to be ignored, to not be important, to be treated like a nuisance. Victor refused to let his son go through the same thing, but most importantly, he refused to be the one making Owen feel like that.

"I see."

"Finally. Now go fix it." She urged.

He found the boy sitting with his legs crossed on the floor, staring absentmindedly at his ant farm. He could see himself at that very same age, and almost guess what was going through his son's mind. Owen was probably blaming himself for not being interesting enough, trying to find a way to make his father notice him.

Victor sat silently on the bed, waiting for Owen to acknowledge his presence. The boy looked at him with sad brown eyes, deep and dark, making the freckles on his nose stand out.

"Is it bedtime yet?" Owen asked, getting up from the floor.

"No, I just wanted to have a word with you."

"Am I in trouble?"

"Do we only talk when you're in trouble?" Victor couldn't help but feel slightly offended. "Sit beside me."

Owen obeyed, sitting next to his father, an expectant look on his face. Victor took a moment to think about how he would approach the subject. He couldn't tell the boy about the conversation he just had with his mother.

"Maybe we made a hasty decision regarding who is coming to Career Day."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I did say your mother was the best choice. However, after careful consideration, I think I may be a very interesting choice as well. I mean, I know most of your friends from playing soccer in the park, I'm fairly popular already. One could even say I'm... cool."

"You want to go?"

"That is for you to decide. But I would be honored if you’d take me."

"I was going to ask you." Owen confessed. "I even asked Mom if that would hurt her feelings, and she said she would be happy if I chose you."

"Why didn't you say so, then?"

"Because I know you are very busy, especially now that you are opening that new business in France. I overheard Mom scolding you the other day for not getting enough sleep. I thought you were saying Mom could go because you were too tired. And if you are too tired, it's selfish of me to ask."

Victor smiled at the little boy as he pulled him into his lap. He was barely five, and he could be so considerate. He playfully poked his little freckled nose.

"Even if that was the case, even if I was too tired, I would still go. You know why?"

The boy shook his head.

"Because I love you." Victor replied in a soft voice. "You are my son, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

Small arms wrapped around Victor's neck in a tight hug. And the sweetest voice spoke the sweetest words.

"I love you too, Dad. Thank you for doing this, it will be so cool!” He jumped excitedly. “I can already imagine what my classmates will say about the cool things you do at work! Do you know what you will bring to your presentation? Megan's father is a trainer at the zoo, she says he may bring a parrot!"

Victor's stomach turned cold. Only at that moment did he realize what he truly agreed on.

The task sounded fairly simple: to explain his job to a room full of five-year-olds. It turned out, it was a lot harder than he expected.

His job entailed many complicated concepts, like risk assessment and profit analysis, and had big words like enterprise value, equity, and horizontal integration. Those things were already hard enough to explain to a child, but worse than that, they were boring. He had to make his job look interesting, and although it would be fairly easy to seduce an adult by showing profit, children didn't respond to money. He had to make it entertaining, and simple. Yet, he had no idea how. Nothing about his job would seem entertaining to a child.

But then one day, while running, he recalled his Economics teacher’s words from one of his lectures: Economy has existed since primitive times, where things were much simpler, and an economic transaction meant trading meat for animal skin or a cutting tool. The act of trading baseball cards during recess could be considered an economic transaction. To explain it, he would just have to trade the fancy terms for things children could relate to.

Finally, he had a plan. A good one. That didn't mean he wasn't nervous.

“Do you want to call Mom and tell her to come instead?” The boy asked from the backseat as they were driving to school.

“What? No, I’m fine.” Victor gripped the wheel tighter, trying to steady himself.

“Are you sure?” Victor saw his boy frown from the rearview mirror. “You look like you have a tummy ache.”

Did he? He immediately relaxed his face, trying to remain expressionless.

“Mom told me you would be like this.” Owen smiled with a knowing look. “She told me to tell you that you just need to use the charm you used on her.”

Yes, Victor could do that, he had some good moments with Andrea. Well, apart from the interview, and when her car broke down, with the heavy rain and... nipples. And being so embarrassed he could barely speak. The memory only made him more nervous.

He marched bravely into school with a box full of containers with cherries and a bag full of lollipops. Owen was exhilarated to have his father with him, jumping happily in the halls, showing him every piece of art he had made that was on display. Victor, on the other hand, was sweating from nervousness, hoping the AC in Owen's classroom was freezing cold. The teacher jumped on the spot when she saw him.

“Mr. Lee?” She came to him hurriedly, looking puzzled when she saw Victor place the containers in one of the empty desks. “The Principal didn’t tell me you were visiting. By the way, where is he? Are you here unattended? Is this about a fund or something? How can I help you?”

“I’m here for Career Day. We still haven’t had the pleasure to meet.” Victor extended his hand to the teacher. “I’m Victor Lee, Owen’s father.”

“Owen, you didn’t tell me your father was Victor Lee!” She looked down on the boy, flushed.

“I told you my father was a CEO.” Owen quipped, frowning slightly.

“Well, still, how would I know it was Victor Lee?”

“My name is Owen Lee.”

The teacher fanned herself, eyeing Victor with a weird smile.

“Mr. Lee, I know that our installations aren’t quite what you are used to, but I hope you do feel welcome.”

“I’m sure they will do perfectly, thank you.”

Victor was wrong. The chairs were too small for an adult, especially one of his stature. However, standing up was also not an option, as he would be beside Owen and he would block the view, so he had no choice but to sit on the tiny chair, with his legs awkwardly crossed, looking like an idiot.

Megan's father was the first, and he did bring the parrot, making him do all kinds of tricks. The children and the teacher laughed at the animal's shenanigans, and Victor couldn't help but feel disheartened, knowing this presentation would be very hard to top.

Then came Caleb's mother, who was a physician. She taught the kids the many functions of the main organs in the human body, bringing with her a kidney in a jar. The class was rowdy as they passed the jar around, amazed to be able to see a real kidney, like the ones they had in their very small bodies.

"Next we have Owen's father, Mr. Lee, a very successful entrepreneur in Loveland. He will talk about his job as a CEO of an investment company." The teacher announced.

Victor faced the twenty children in front of him, who were looking at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to start. In almost 15 years of being a CEO, he had attended important meetings with notorious businessmen, oil tycoons, rulers and politicians. He had dinner meetings with the mafia and other shady characters, people that held incredible power and precious information, but could also kill him without a second thought.

He could conclude, without a shadow of a doubt, that children were scarier.

For a second he wished he could be like Andrea. She would know what to do. She would probably greet the children with a goofy gesture, making them all laugh. She was fun and witty, she knew what children liked. Victor paused, remembering his wife’s words through his son’s mouth. He could be funny too, he always made her laugh, it had become one of his favorite hobbies. Maybe she was right. Maybe he could do this. With a new sense of confidence, and with a side note to thank his wife for her encouraging words, Victor approached his audience.

“Good afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen.” He started, ceremoniously. “First of all, I would like to thank you for your time and attention, and the honor of your invitation. My name is Victor Lee, and I’m the CEO of Loveland Financial Group.”

Encouraged by their teacher, all the children applauded.

“Before I begin to explain exactly what I do, let me start with a question. Who knows what an investor does?”

All the children were quiet until a little girl spoke.

“Is it someone who goes to the market and screams ‘Buy! Buy!’ and ‘Sell! Sell!’?

“You mean the stock market?” Victor chuckled. “Yes, it can be, although there are many kinds of investments. At LFG, what we do is help companies grow by lending them money, which they pay us, but with interest. Does anyone know what interest is?”

Many kids raised their hands.

“Is it when things aren’t boring? Like, they are interesting?”

“Ha. No.” Victor forgot that the words would have a different meaning to five-year-olds. “For example, someone asks LFG for ten dollars. The company lends it but asks in return for eleven dollars. That extra dollar is the interest.”

“That’s not very nice.” A freckled boy raised his hand. “Sharing is caring.”

Victor felt himself blush slightly. The boy had made a perfectly logical remark that unfortunately didn’t fit in the financial world. And he didn’t have the faintest clue on how he could explain it better.

“It is nice, because my dad doesn’t just give the money. My mom and dad work with the companies to help them grow, and they get to keep the tools she gives them forever. My dad gives them the money and asks for more because he also helps them get better.” Owen chimed in, basically saving him. Although it wasn’t exactly accurate, it wasn’t wrong either. Victor couldn’t be more proud.

“That is correct and beautifully worded, Owen, thank you.” He smiled at his boy. “Now, to fully understand the kind of work that a CEO of an investment company does, I would like to invite you all to be, for ten minutes, CEOs.” He ceremoniously declared. “Owen, could you help distribute the boxes and the candy to your friends?”

Owen quickly obliged, and in a moment, all the kids had with them a box of cherries and a lollipop.

“Ok, imagine you are the CEO of an investment company-”

“What is the company called?” The freckled boy asked again. Victor suppressed a sigh of exasperation.

“Whatever you want to call it. It’s your company.”

“Can I call it Unicorn?” A little girl raised her hand.

“Yes, you can. Now…”

“Can I call it Wayne Enterprises? Do you think I could be Batman?”

Victor’s memory took another trip down memory lane, to the day his wife blackmailed him into making that ridiculous Batman recording. He felt his cheeks getting slightly warmer. Luckily, the teacher intervened.

“Alright class, it’s nice to see you this excited but we need to let Mr. Lee speak, alright?”

“Thank you. So, as I was saying, imagine you are in a meeting, as CEOs, and two different companies are asking for investment: a lollipop factory and an orchard that grows cherries. You can pick only one. Which one would you pick? Place your hand on your choice.”

Every single child, except for one, held their lollipops. He turned to the girl that picked the cherries.

“Interesting choice. Why would you invest in the cherry producer?”

“Because I want to invest in a company that makes a lot of money. Cherries are more expensive than lollipops.”

Victor smiled at her insightfulness. She was probably a CEO in the making.

“True, but cherries only grow in the spring, that’s why they are more expensive. The candy factory can make lollipops all year.” He retorted. “You still think the orchard makes more money than the candy factory?”

“Yes, because my mom will let me have cherries but won’t buy me candy.” A boy chimed in, and other children agreed.

“Demand, very good, we need to see what sells best. What else would you use to make a decision?” Victor was excited, watching the proverbial wheels turn in their little heads. “What does it take to produce each of the products?”

“You need a factory to make lollipops. In an orchard, you just need to water the trees.”

“Very well, and you need sugar, and flavors and other ingredients, while in the cherries’ case, is given for free by nature. So, have we decided on the orchard?”

“Yes!” They screamed in unison.

“Seems like we have a unanimous decision. And for the record, what we just did here is a very simplistic version of a risk assessment, a study every investor needs to make to know if the investment is worthwhile. Of course, there are other things I do as a CEO, but I can’t possibly describe them in such a short time.” He paused for a moment, all the children’s eyes on him. “Does anyone have any questions before we finish?”

“Are all CEOs men?” A girl asked from the back.

“Of course not. Women can be CEOs too, my wife is a CEO from a different company. And if you ask me, she’s more successful than I am.” He made a silly face, and all the children laughed.

He couldn’t believe it was going so well.

“Anything else?”

“My father says businessmen are dicks in a suit.” A boy declared, while his father looked like he was close to infarction.

“Timothy!” The teacher chastised.

“Well, I can tell you that can definitely be true in some cases.” Victor spoke wholeheartedly. “In any area, you can find good and bad professionals. But let me tell you all about the three qualities I feel a good CEO should have.” Victor raised his hand, lifting his fingers as he spoke. “Intelligence, resilience, and responsibility. Intelligence because we need to know where we stand at all times and make quick decisions, and they better be the right ones, or else we can lose our business. Resilience because the financial world is a fluctuating one, and everything may change in a blink of an eye. We must be resilient enough to embrace the change, and make it work in our favor. And lastly, responsibility, because as we invest, we are not only dealing with our money or a faceless company. We can change the world with our choices, allowing technology, health, and education to evolve so there is improvement in everyone’s lives. I personally invest only in companies where employees are treated with fairness, and environmental rules are respected. We need to put the power we hold to good use and make this world a better place. If we all understand the smallest of our actions can impact the world tremendously, I’m sure miracles will happen.”

“Well, that was brilliantly said.” The teacher cleared her throat, starting to clap. “A big applause to Mr. Lee, thank you for being with us today.”

Victor returned to the car with a smug smile on his face, and a sense of accomplishment he hadn’t felt in a very long time. He had done well, he had honored his son and made him happy. However, as he started the car to leave, he saw his son through the rearview mirror, lost in thought.

“Everything ok back there?” He frowned at the mirror. “Is there something upsetting you?”

“No, I’m ok.” The boy looked up.

“You’re happy?”

“Yes.” The boy smiled.

“I think the presentation went well.” Victor started the car. “Your friends seemed to like it.”

“Yes, it was fun! And we had candy and cherries as a snack, none of the other parents brought snacks.”

Victor smirked, adding that point to his mental scoreboard.

“So why the long face?”

Owen seemed to momentaneously return to his thoughts before he answered Victor’s question.

“I don’t think I want to be an entomologist anymore.”

Victor gave his son a knowing smile.

“I knew the parrot would interest you.”

“No, parrots are dumb!” Owen seemed slightly offended. “I want to be a CEO, just like you.”

Victor could remember himself, at the same age, saying the same thing to his father, to get his approval.

“Owen, you can be whatever you want to be. I will still support you, no matter what you decide.”

“Then you’ll teach me?”

Victor smiled widely, his heart filled with pride.

“I will teach you everything I know.” He was about to offer the keys to his kingdom, but then remembered how he refused the same from his father, wanting to make his own path.

The epiphany came suddenly, clearing his vision and the fear he couldn’t shake from his heart: he had traveled a different road from his father in so many ways. He was a present and loving husband, with a healthy relationship with Andrea. And he was a present and loving partner, caring and supporting his son in every step of his life.

And that meant so much more than being a powerful CEO. Those were the footsteps he wanted his son to follow. The ones that led to happiness.

Author's Note: This project has been going for a year now (it started in February 2020) and it won't be over any time soon, so I would like to ask you, as much as possible, for your support, because we still have a very long way to go. So, if you enjoy the work, don't forget to comment and reblog. It gives it traction and enables other people to learn about it, and for me to get more excited about what I do.

[ladykissingfish]

Under the Mistletoe with the Akatsuki // Part Seven // “Tobi”

Tobi

Expendable. This is the word that Obito Uchiha hears most frequently from his “savior” and Master, Madara: Expendable. “Everyone in that group is expendable, Obito. Pawns. A means to an end. Getting attached is pointless; they are not your family; I am.” And maybe he’s right, but ... it’s already too late for Obito. He IS attached to this group; they’ve become the family that he’s never had. They weren’t Expendable by any stretch of the imagination, and Obito lives just to be around them ... even when he’s forced to act like the simpleton that Tobi is. Still, there are times when the Uchiha can have a lot of fun with these people — and this Mistletoe game is definitely one of them.

Itachi

Itachi is a difficult one for Obito to read , and even harder to understand. On one level, he’s positive that Itachi knows (or at the very least suspects) that “Tobi” isn’t who he portrays himself to be. But on the other hand, two things that Obito can read for sure are that Itachi is sick, and his depression is so immense that it crushes out almost all other thoughts. Itachi is the sole reason Obito keeps presenting himself as the idiotic Tobi, because to reveal himself would mean death, swift and sweet. He’s not even sure that Madara would have the power to stand up to Itachi. Nevertheless, the time and place for such thoughts isn’t standing under the mistletoe. “Heya, Itachi-san! Ya ready to kiss Tobi now?” Itachi merely nods, but makes no move to approach Tobi. So Tobi walks up to him instead, moves the mask just slightly off his lips, and kisses his cheek. “There ya go!” Itachi goes, and Obito breathes out a sigh of relief. Still, though, he can’t help but feel a little sad, at what he feels to be the impending demise of his fellow clansmen.

Sasori

Sasori has mixed feelings about Tobi. On the one had he feels that he’s just a simplistic moron who doesn’t really warrant a second thought. But on the other hand — Tobi seems really, really attached to his Senpai, and Sasori’s partner, Deidara. Attached in a way that seems, at times, in a way that’s more than purely friendly. Almost like he — but wait, why does Sasori even care what Tobi may or may not feel for the young blonde? It’s not as though Sasori has (or desires) any kind of claim on Deidara, right? The fact that Tobi is standing in front of him right now and Sasori wants nothing more than to murder him and toss his body to the wolves has absolutely nothing to do with Deidara, right? The fact that Pein keeps Sasori back at the hideout more and more to help with strategizing, and sends Tobi out with Deidara in Sasori’s place ... it was all for the best, right? “Oh boy! Tobi gets to kiss Sasori-san!” Sasori grimaces, as he always does, at the grating voice coming from behind the mask. Instead of waiting for Tobi to kiss him, Sasori takes the initiative by leaning up and quickly kissing his cheek. He walks away feeling inexplicably angry ... and it’s not until much later that night, as he’s sitting at his desk working on a puppet while everyone else sleeps ... that he realizes that when he kissed Tobi, he smelled the shampoo that Deidara used. He continues working but doesn’t get much accomplished, as he spends half the night pondering why the idea of Tobi being around Deidara makes him feel so unsettled.

Kisame

Ugh; this kid. Or was Tobi older than that? Kisame honestly had no idea how old Tobi actually was; he doubted that any of them did. Granted he acted like a tall 10 year old — but surely that’s just an act. He’d have to remember to ask Deidara later — did Tobi have any special combat skills? Did he know any useful jutsus? What was his fighting style like? So many unknowns, so many things to wonder about. And throughout it all, wafting from Tobi and straight into Kisame’s nostrils, that unmistakable scent of a predator. But in the wild, the only way to show superiority to a predator was to show that you weren’t afraid. Kisame walks confidently up to him, and flashes him a wide smile that showcases all of his razor-sharp teeth. “You ready, kid?” Tobi nods, and to Kisame’s credit, Tobi actually DOES seem intimidated by the death-trap mouth. That, and the fact that samehada, who is currently strapped to Kisame’s side, has his head up and staring directly at the man in the mask. Kisame steps forward and kisses Tobi’s forehead, then quickly walks away again, before his own fear can leak through his brave facade.

Zetsu

Zetsu flat-out declines to kiss Tobi. Partially because he knows exactly who he really is, and the two have been “friends” for so long that a kiss would just be strange. The other reason is because he hasn’t eaten in two days, having just returned from a long-term mission about an hour ago. He’s so hungry that anything and everything looks delicious, and if he were to try and kiss “Tobi” right then — there’s no doubt that he would have eaten him. And Madara would surely skin him alive for that. So he simply nods at Tobi, and nobody questions why the two don’t exchange a kiss.

Pein

Mysterious and concealed. That’s how Pein (or rather Nagato) would describe “Tobi”; mysterious and concealed. Being around Tobi gives him a strange feeling deep in his sunken chest, that maybe, just maybe, Nagato isn’t the one running this show. That Tobi is actually someone he needs to watch out for. Still, though, it is unfitting to show one’s misgivings to one’s (possible) enemy. As far as Tobi knows, Pein just thinks of him like one of his “children”. Pein approaches him and kisses the cheek of his mask, not giving Tobi time to remove it. “Thank you, Leader-sama!” Pein nods and walks away, wondering whether he just imagined a hint of condensation in Tobi’s voice upon calling Pein “Leader”.

Konan

When Obito was growing up, like many of the kids in Konoha, he didnt’ have a household with a mother and father in it. He was raised by his grandmother who, although loving and kind, didn’t really provide Obito with the kind of matronly emotional support that he needed. When he came to the Akatsuki, Konan more or less filled that role for him. As she did with everyone else, she cooked for him, she washed his clothes, she cleaned up after him. She scolded him when she felt he did something reckless and foolish, and, most importantly, she cared about him. To have someone care about you in a reality where you sometimes don’t even care about yourself is an amazing feeling. Konan approaches him with a shy smile on her face, her tiny dimples showcasing the young girl she had once been. Aside from Rin, Konan is probably the warmest person Obito has ever met. He moves his mask, thinks about it, and gives Konan a gentle kiss on the tip of her chin, then another on her forehead. Then he pulls her into his arms, embracing her warmly. “Thank you, Konan,” he says, in a low, almost-Obito-like voice. “For what?” “For being Tobi’s friend.” Konan blushes and smiles; as she leaves she tells Tobi that when he’s done with his turn, to come and get some of the pie she’s made, to which Tobi happily agrees.

Hidan

Hidan is blushing pretty damn hard as he walks up to Tobi; after what happened when it was Hidan’s turn under the mistletoe, it’s understandable why. “Listen, you orange fuck — don’t pull any of that shit you did last time, alright?” Tobi tilts his head and studies him as if confused. “What do you mean, Hidan-san? Didn’t you like kissing Tobi?”, he asks, and then, his voice dropping into a somewhat playful whisper, “Tobi sure liked kissing YOU.” Hidan blushes even harder, and mutters a “Just do it already, weirdo.” Tobi removes his mask enough so that Hidan can see the flash of his teeth, smiling before tilting Hidan backwards ((and Hidan is surprised at how strong Tobi is)) and giving him a soft kiss on the lips. As it was last time, Hidan is visibly flustered. Tobi smiles even wider; in truth, Hidan is one of the few in the Akatsuki that Obito likes the least. He finds him to be emotion-driven and overly violent, and these things don’t make for a very good teammate. Still; there’s no denying that to be able to shut Hidan up, even for a few moments like now, is indescribably satisfying. Hidan is still standing there in a daze as Tobi slides his mask back into place, and Tobi can’t keep the glee out of his voice as he asks, “Aww Hidan-san; do you wanna marry Tobi now?” This snaps Hidan out of it, and his loud cursing and stomping off can be heard throughout the entire house.

Kakuzu

“Isn’t this ridiculous game over yet??” “No, Kakuzu-san! Don’t be shy; come get a kissy from Tobi!” Kakuzu just rolls his eyes; he’s never really been sure what to think of Tobi. He’s been on zero missions with him so he had absolutely no knowledge of his battle prowess or combat skills (but judging by the way Deidara complains about him, they can’t be all that good). Also, there’s the thing with him covering his face with that mask. Kakuzu isn’t really one to judge that; HE wears a mask as well. But with Tobi it’s not just a mask; it’s the long black clothing underneath the long Akatsuki robe. It’s the thick gloves. It’s the way not a single piece of skin save his toes ever sees the light of day. What’s he hiding? Kakuzu strongly suspects that Tobi might be one of the more elite ninjas listed in the Bingo Book, and if that’s the case, all Kakuzu has to do is wait for the right time to catch him off guard, capture him, and collect a (hopefully substantial) bounty for him. He approaches him and lets Tobi press his mask against Kakuzu’s mask in their version of a kiss. He resolves to study the Bingo Book in-depth tonight before bed; surely Tobi’s identify must be in there somewhere.

Deidara

The look on Deidara’s face is as he approaches Tobi is indecipherable, even to the one who has the sharingan. Fear, anxiety, excitement — and something else Obito just can’t read. And as for Obito himself — what exactly IS it that he feels for Deidara?? He’s nothing more than a pawn, right? A means to an end, as Madara would say. But ... there have been times. Times away from the various hideouts, out in the middle of nowhere with nothing but their packs and their thoughts, that Deidara has shown himself to be remarkably different from the Deidara that the others (except, likely, Sasori) sees. A quiet young man. A deep thinker. Sensitive and kind. And — “Oi, Tobi; can I ask you something?” “Yes, Senpai?” “When — when I was under the mistletoe ... did me and you kiss? Or did I really faint like you said?” A beat of quiet, and then, “Senpai always says that the past doesn’t matter, so why should it matter if we kissed or not?” Deidara chuckles and shakes his head. “You always choose to remember the most random things I tell you, hm. Damn you — I can never tell what goes on in your brain, Tobi.” “You wanna know what Tobi’s thinking right now? Tobi thinks that Senpai — Senpai is one of the most beautiful creatures Tobi has ever seen.” Deidara blushes fiercely at this, and tries to cover up his embarrassment by saying, gruffly , “Let’s just get this over with, Tobi, hm.” So Obito obliges him. He moves his mask to expose his mouth, sweeps Deidara’s long hair back, tilts him, cups his chin with his thumb and forefinger, and gently leans into him with his lips. Deidara resists at first, hesitant, but eventually he finds his arms circling Tobi’s broad shoulders, holding him tightly. He HAS to hold on because he’s terribly dizzy; he’s not quite sure what’s happening to him, but Deidara feels as though he’s falling down a very deep hole inside of his mind, and Tobi is the only thing keeping him anchored to reality. The kiss finally ends when (and only because) Sasori suddenly comes out of his room, yelling “Brat! I’ve been calling for you for ten minutes; you know I don’t like to be kept waiting!” Deidara steps away from Tobi, and he’s stumbling as though he’s a bit disorientated. “G-Goodnight, hm.” “G’nite Senpai! Sweet dreams!” Obito watches Deidara walk away, just barely conscious of the strange glance Sasori pitches in his direction when Deidara reaches his room.

[aimasup]

So I saw a bunch of Human AU Sanders Sides and thought I could make my own version

Backstories under the cut for anyone who’s interested

(Tw warnings such as mentions of abuse, homophobia and car accidents but it’s angst with a happy ending don’t worry)

-Long post-

-Patton:

Toddler to child: Parents love me and I love them! Lots of friends in kindergarten! Met Logan one day! He’s so smart!

Grade school: More friends! Logan’s opening up! Everything’s perfect!

Highschool: My parents are arguing more and I’m tired Meeting Roman and Remus! Roman’s so cool! Meeting Virgil! Virgil needs a hug! I feel sad and stressed sometimes and I don’t think I want to worry anyone with it.- Virgil’s with us now yay!

College: My best buds are here! I got into an accident halfway through my studies Virgil please don’t feel responsible. It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry Logan I should have understood your situation better. Roman please get mad I deserve your anger and I feel awful and empty but I shouldn’t show it because some people have it worse than I do I know it why do I feel this way? I’m fine honestly this is fine everything’s fine I’m just the problem -

Adulthood: So. I’m not the problem. I just need to work on my attitude and my flaws. I love my friends and family so much because they let me know that expressing my feelings is ok! My parents are fine now! I’m getting professional help! I work in an animal care center with Virgil! Roman is successful and pursuing his dreams! Met this guy named Dean and he works with Logan in the bookstore next to our center! He’s fun but he might need to stop lying so much, but other than that I’m happy with where I am now!

-Virgil:

Toddler to child: Parents love me and I love them. Bullies can go suck it. I feel bad that my parents always spend their time comforting me but they’re my whole world and I feel safe with them.

Grade school: Bullies are getting worse. Dad’s dead. Mom is stressed and busy so I don’t want to trouble her further. She still spends time with me for some reason. I don’t think I deserve friends. MCR is great. I met Dean and Remus. They’re. Interesting. I hate Roman.

High school: Oh my god everything is stressful and oppressive and everyone is scared of me. That’s good. Maybe. Met Patton, Logan and Roman. They’re only somewhat scared? Hm. Dean and Remus are getting into even more trouble than usual and pulling me into them. Maybe they aren’t good for me with how they’ve been acting lately. I’ll go be with Patton. - Maybe they don’t really accept me they’re just waiting to kick me out like everyone else why would they even like me-

College: Mom I love you so much I swear I’ll get a good job and make this college money worth it you’ll see. And things are surprisingly less stressful? I really like my friends? Patton why the hell did you save me from that car. Logan you have some explaining to do. Roman you shut the fuck up. - Everything is my fault I should have never said anything why am I always like this everyone was right about me- 

 Adulthood: Mom!! You can now retire!! Roommates with Patton, Logan and Roman now and I love being with them so much. And. Dean and Remus are still around. Well then. Whatever. I work a nice job at an animal care center with Patton and I have my friends and I’m learning to be more open and things are going well for now. Not bad for a life.

-Logan:

Toddler to child: Parents go to work most of the time and I see them every other weekend. Who cares about everyone else in kindergarten I have my books and Crofters. Oh hello Patton.

Grade school: I’m smarter than everyone else and I know it. Patton is a wonderful companion. I’m doing well for my age. 

High school: Virgil and Roman are interesting. Remus needs to chill. Virgil no let me lay some facts down for you because you are valid you hear me. Oh! Oh my gosh! I met this amazing student and he makes me feel special and happy! I think I love him! - It hurts but that’s fine- 

College: I’m coming for those degrees! Patton needs to stop asking me to leave my boyfriend. He doesn’t understand how important this man is to me! I can stand a little pain! Wait what happened to Patton. Virgil? Roman? Ok. Wait. Shit. I’m an idiot. I can’t believe it took me this long to figure out - I’m such an idiot it doesn’t matter how knowledgeable I am I’m still a gullible moron when it comes to relationships and everything my ex has ever done and said to me is all my fault because I fell for his manipulations-

Adulthood: Ok. I trust my therapist and my friends when they say it’s not my fault and that it’s alright. What I felt with my ex wasn’t love and I’m not a moron for falling for him. I can always start over. Like with the bookstore I now own with my receptionist Dean. Apparently he knows Virgil huh. They frequently bicker whenever Dean goes to their animal care center to buy snake feed so that’s interesting. My parents have retired and are now trying to make up for lost time with me? I appreciate it I suppose. Now I live with my companions and contact my family and things are alright.

-Roman:

Toddler to child: Parents love me and I love them! They buy me anything I want! They support my dreams! But Remus keeps bullying me and I’m not sure how to feel about him. He’s still my brother

Grade school: I have so many friends! Extra-curricular activities because I’m really talented! Remus has new friends to cause trouble with oh boy. More people to bully me the better for him ugh. Virgil especially creeps me out. I’m getting a little concerned as to how my parents are treating Remus but I’m sure he’s fine 

High school: Ok. So. Apparently telling my parents that I like guys is a bad idea. - That’s going to scar on my back for sure- They treat me completely differently from when I was a kid? And I met Patton and Logan and I think I might be a tad spoiled by my family. Also Virgil’s here but he’s getting more and more ok. I’ll hang out with him now. - I’m ungrateful and a disgrace and I’m not as creative as I ever thought I was- 

College: Welp. I’m moving out. I wish Remus the best of luck because I think he’s coming too. My parents officially suck as much as Logan’s current boyfriend. He needs to dump him. Wait I’m a YouTuber now! Yay! - I’m getting more and more stressed and overwhelmed from debt and I fear rejection from my fans and friends the moment I say something out of line and the moment I run out of good ideas for them- Oh shit Patton what happened!! Logan what did you do!! Virgil you shut the fuck up!! Remus you’re not helping!! - I could have prevented this why didn’t I realize this earlier am I that self absorbed-

Adulthood: Yes I’m a full time YouTuber and actor and singer now!! Patton, Logan and Virgil live with me now and they even work close together! Remus is now a comic book artist and novel author, hope he doesn’t traumatize people too much. Logan’s receptionist Dean sure is a character.  I still fear rejection- but I know things will be good for now!

-Deceit:

Toddler to child: Where are my parents. Why is the orphanage so small and why do people look at me weird when I talk. I’m never getting adopted.

Grade school: Well, I’m adopted now I guess. No way in hell am I telling them everything that happens daily in my life. Why do my new parents think my bedroom door needs to be removed. They took my little garden snake because it wasn’t a ‘normal’ pet? Hm. Why hello there Virgil and Remus. Hello Roman. 

High school: That’s it. I’m getting piercings, I’m getting a huge tattoo, I’m kissing snakes. Screw my parents. I don’t need to let anyone know anything about me. My opinion doesn’t matter anyways and everything about me is going to be bad no matter what so why bother So they fear us, Virgil? Good. Wait. Where are you going?

College: I’m moving out officially. Remus is in a different college. -Don’t miss him at all. I shall play along to society’s whims for now and get a degree and never use it. Got rid of the tracker under my car. I don’t think I’ll ever contact my parents again.

Adulthood: I think I’m doing rather well as a citizen. Remus is my new apartment mate oh god. But he is now a comic book artist and novel author so at least he has a job. Perks of working in a bookstore with Logan. That nerd’s one of Virgil’s new friends? And emo boy now works in the animal care center next to us? Whatever. I’ll leave them be unless I need some new snake feed. Things are peaceful now for me at least.

-Remus:

Toddler to child: I want my parents to look me in the eye and tell them they care more than just throwing fancy stuff into my arms dangit. Whatever I’ll just take it out on Roman and the kids in the playground.

Grade school: -If you can’t say anything nice don’t open your ugly mouth ever at all- So I’m disturbed? So my thoughts aren’t normal? Fine! Not like I can control what comes into my head! Let me bully Roman some more with my new buds Virgil and Dean! - freaking star child has everything I hate him so much what will it take for my parents to have their attention on me I’ve caused so much trouble in school why won’t they care-

High school: Roman what the hell happened?? I was planning your murder but now I’m not sure how to feel?? Damn you?? Uh?? We’ll move out?? And where the hell is Virgil going again?? Dean?? He’s leaving us? Alright. That’s it. That’s it - my grades and reputation are shit and my parents always assume the worst of me anyways so I’ll just sleep around with a bunch of guys every other week for quick cash and drag my family’s name through the mud and have fun because I don’t hate myself completely but my ideas are bad and I’m bad and- 

College: Fuck you mom and dad! Roman and I are moving out!! I’m gonna become a comic artist and write terrifying stories that’ll make Satan cry!! - Ugh Dean’s in another college dammit I miss him- Roman what is it this time someone get run over or something? What happened with that nerd Logan?  Is Virgil alright- What the fuck happened? - the star child is crying why are you crying why am I crying why do I feel like this I don’t care I shouldn’t care I hate you I hate me-

Adulthood: My ideas are selling! I’m a comic book artist and a novel author! Dean is my new apartment buddy! My brother is still some fancy theater geek but who cares! And the store Dean works at sells my books! And Virgil’s in the animal care center next door! I met his new friends officially and they’re boring lol. I really like where my life’s heading!

[ninjastormhawkkat]

Another Wordgirl Au: Morally Gray Wordgirl

Morally Gray Wordgirl au

I don’t know if anyone else in the Wordgirl fandom thought about this at one point. A what-if I thought one day was what would have happened if Steven became Dr. Two Brains before Becky became Wordgirl? Such as what if Steven became Two Brains when Becky just came to earth as a baby? This is where the au begins

In this au, Becky is adopted by Dr. Two Brains. After Becky and Bob crash land on earth, Bob carries Becky around for a bit and enters the city. This is around the time Steven first becomes Two Brains. Bob, while carrying Becky, runs into Two Brains. At this point, Bob has no idea that Two Brains is a villain. Two Brains has cheese with him and Bob is hungry. Two Brains awkwardly hands some of his cheese to Bob. Two Brains may be a villain now but he is not heartless to not offer someone that is hungry food. Bob eats the cheese while Two Brains holds Becky. Two Brains is nervous at first because some random monkey just gave him a baby to hold😟. When Becky looks at Two Brains, she curiously calls him daddy. She is just a little kid who think that this new man holding her is her parent now. Two Brains heart just melts😍after hearing her call him daddy and looking into her innocent, alien, eyes. He immediately begins to dote on her as a dad would, ex. baby talk and cooing. Bob watches the interaction between Two Brains and Becky and decides that Two Brains would be a great person to stay with and raise Becky. He later regrets his decision.😓😆Here is an outline for how this au would go:

1. Becky still becomes Wordgirl. Bob tries to implement heroic morals into Becky during the time she is being raised by a villain. Becky wants to become a hero because she does not want to see the lives of innocent civilians hurt. However, since Dr. Two Brains also implemented villainous ideals into Becky growing up, her moral values are kind of mixed in her actions as a hero.

2. Becky is more sympathetic towards villains. Ex. When Chuck and Butcher claim to be innocent after being framed by Amazing Rope Guy, she immediately believes them and tries to figure out another angle of who really committed those crimes.

3. She isn’t as upset as when the spotlight is turned off her such as when Tiny Big came onto the scene or when Granny May became bingo champion. She is still upset, but Becky is not as focused on the limelight as canon. She, from Huggy’s teachings, believes that a superhero’s true reward comes from protecting the citizens and just helping when needed to prevent or avenge the cruelest of injustices. Wordgirl will accept gifts or keys to the city out of politeness. She uses the limelight to give the people of Fair City comfort and assurance that she is still there to protect them. Becky views heroism as a job more than a pleasure. It is basically, “You get good results based on how hard and well you do the work, not just what others say.” mentality.

4. That being said, Becky will not take a passive stance and try hard to prove her innocence if the citizens suddenly began to take advantage of her heroism or if they turn on her such as with the evil duplicate or when Granny May framed her for crimes. As I said earlier, Becky in this au views heroism as a job she enjoys and doesn't take impolite backlash, constructive criticism yes. Basically she just becomes done when residents of Fair City act like morons who think they know better. (I have always had a problem when a majority of the residents in Fair City act like gullible idiots. It always irks me how they will turn on Wordgirl easily and not often give a proper apology when they realize they were wrong. Sometimes, to me, it seems the villains have better appreciation for Wordgirl than the citizens. I am not including all citizens, just seems like a majority do this.) (Okay rant over.) Becky will be like, “if you guys don’t want me anymore then good luck.” She will intervene again just to keep the city from going into complete chaos. She still cares about the safety of the citizens, she just does not like it when they abandon their trust in her for no good reason. She is not even mad at the villains who cause this. They didn’t force the citizens to dislike Wordgirl, that was their choice.

5. Becky will not often take her dad to jail. She loves her dad and does not like the idea of him not being home (the warehouse; Becky’s living conditions their are like my version of the Becky Boxleitner au, just somewhat better due to her living their all her life.) She also does not like the idea of having to fight him, but has to in order to keep up appearances and not let anyone get suspicious and start suspecting her identity. That being said, she will let Two Brains escape after stoping the crimes depending on the severity. If Two Brains just steals cheese from the grocery store, she may often ignore it (its just cheese and it can easily be replenished). For crimes such as stealing money or turning artwork into cheese, Becky will stop her dad, but later act like he got away (if police are not around. “Two Brains Quartet” still happens because police are there.). Becky may do this sometimes for other villains depending on her or their mood. Citizens and Villains believe that Dr. Two Brains is an extremely tough villain to catch which raises his credibility as Fair City’s #1 villain when Wordgirl does this. Captain Huggy Face is not happy when Wordgirl let’s her dad go, but he deals with it because she cares about her dad. Becky does stand her ground if her dad, and the other villains, do something dangerous that affects the lives of the citizens. Incidents such as the plot to mind control all the city with bunny buttons and the cheesteroid do get Two Brains arrested. (Becky is like, “Sorry dad, but I can’t let you threaten the lives of innocent civilians.”) Since this happens rarely, Becky usually stays at her friends houses until her dad leaves prison. She has a visitor clearance and does visits with her dad when she can. (Still brings him cheese.) Not much interaction with the Botsford family unless they were a focus in episodes.

6. Becky is more aware of when villains act deceitful. (She was raised by one herself.) She pretends to be tricked to let their guard down before turning the tables on them. (She can be tricky and deceitful herself when she wants to be.)

The police force are more competent in this au than in canon. They were able to capture most villains, with exception to Two Brains and other major villains, before Wordgirl came onto the scene. The city was similar to Gotham before Batman showed up. It was fine, but crime rates were still high. The episode “The Wrong Side of the Law” happens differently than canon. Wordgirl is civil and polite to the police, but does really like law enforcement or fully trusts them due to her upbringing by a super villain. (Two Brains taught her she can respect law enforcement because they are capable of doing a good job, it does not mean she has to like them or follow the rules all the time. I sorta think that the villains have some respect for D.A. Sally Botsford because of how she is good at her job.)

Now on to “Normal” girl Becky. Becky is still referred to as Becky Boxleitner. (Dr. Two Brains did not want kids ignoring or making fun of Becky with a last name like Brains, or something mouse related. He wanted people to know and treat his daughter as herself, not just who she is related to. Two Brains also wanted to give Becky some protection so random people wouldn’t bother her because of his actions. So he just gave her his old human name.) Becky is similar to her canon character with a few changes.

1. Becky will empathize with someone if they are feeling upset and hurt. But if they are doing something dumb and stupid, or anything that is concerning to her, she will be upfront and honest with that person (not complete brutal honesty but something like “Please don’t do something stupid, I care about you and your health.”). She isn’t mean, but she is forward and won’t bother to hide feelings if hiding your emotions will only make the situation worse. 

2. Both Becky and Wordgirl are sassy like her dad.

3. She is still passionate about words and respects her teachers and main authority figures.

4. Becky is more clever about excuses.

5. She enjoys science more as well as literature. Becky has top grades in her class. (Next to Tobey). She enjoys science fairs and is a bit better at creating workable, and visually acceptable, inventions.

6. Becky likes puns (Two Brains) and knows every fact about cheese as well as every fact about words (again Two Brains’ fault). 

7. Becky is still a fan of Pretty Princess, but has ponies, books, and science stuff in her room. She is a bit more tomboyish than canon.  

Becky is still friends with Violet in this au. I always viewed Violet’s mom as an open-minded nature women, based on Violet’s character and where they live. She is easily accepting of Becky and Dr. Two Brains despite Two Brains life as a villain. Becky is also forward early on how some of Violet’s traditions make her uncomfortable so there is no issue in the series. 

Becky is more a fan of words and science in this au. She and Violet have fun mixing art and science. Becky does not take art classes, but rather is part of after-school science and reading clubs. (She takes science club with Tobey and reading club with Violet.)

Becky is also friends with Tobey in this au. I have nothing against Scoops’ character. I was just more fond of his character development in the episodes during and after he learns Becky’s identity, plus a few before the reveal. (In the early seasons, it seemed that Scoops would do anything for a big story, even as exposing Wordgirl’s identity as Becky. I was upset in that Vocab Bee episode because Scoops did not seem to consider Becky’s input or feeling when he found strong evidence that Becky was Wordgirl. To me it seemed unfair that Becky had to throw her chances at a competition she was having fun in just to protect her identity because of Scoops’ actions and attitude.) Tobey met Becky when they were between 5 and 6. Tobey just lost his dad (up to interpretation on how) and was just lonely. Kids would make fun of Tobey’s nerd-side and some other mean reasons, or they would ignore him. Becky sympathized with Tobey because most kids, not Violet, would avoid her because of her dad. (They would not dare bully her for fear of how Dr. Two Brains would react.) Tobey and Becky easily began to get along and overtime became friends. Claire McCallister was worried about her son hanging out with the child of a villain. But quickly after seeing how Becky was a good kid plus Two Brains being a good dad despite his status, and that her son was happy with friends, she let her worries slide. Claire, Dr. Two Brains, and Violet’s mom, have made an unofficial single parents support group between the three of them. In this au, Tobey does not become a villain, but still builds robots. (I already have a new villain that takes canon Tobey’s role.) Becky and Tobey are silently crushing on each other. Tobey does suspect Becky is Wordgirl, but respects her secret identity and will wait for her to tell him (or a reveal). (Still cares for her anyway.)

Scoops parents are friendly but are strong law-abiding citizens so they avoid Two Brains and Becky. Scoops in this au is nice, but is more concerned on news stories. He originally talks to Becky in hopes of getting an interview with her dad. Scoops is trying not to be inconsiderate, but he is sorta using Becky as a way to get to her dad. Becky deals with this stuff from other reporters and fans of her dad. Neither Dr. Two Brains and Becky like this attention. (Two Brains likes being in the news and in magazines, but he doesn’t like people using his daughter to get to him. Becky is the most important person in his life with cheese being second.) Becky shuts Scoops down after his first few initial attempts. Scoops is disappointed, but he apologizes and doesn’t bother her anymore. Becky is civil and polite to Scoops in this series, but that is about it. There is no crush. (I don’t know if I will keep the Violet x Scoops ship in this au or change it.)  

I really like this au along with a few other aus I made up which include an Alliance Swap au. I am going to expand more on this au and the characters later.  

[janetbrown711]

"We'll figure this out" - Yakko

Yakko always knew he had a silver tongue, but he honestly hadn’t expected this. 

Somehow, Yakko had not only convinced King Salazar to spare him and his siblings because they “knew a secret about the Wishing Star”, but he had also convinced the king to make them a full-on feast for them in his dining room. Yakko honestly had no idea the king would fulfill his request but was overjoyed that he did. 

Wakko and Dot hadn’t seen that much food in their whole lives, and were eating like madmen. Yakko was delighted to see how happy it made them, and Yakko knew that even if the king caught them and knew they were using him, it would be worth it anyway. The food was delicious. 

However, the King was getting impatient, but Yakko got quite a kick out of annoying him, and since he couldn’t punch him in the face, he figured annoyance sufficed. 

“Now, tell me,” Salazar demanded, slamming his fist against the table. 

“About what?” Yakko blinked at him innocently. 

“The Wishing Star, you foolish child,” He growled, but Yakko wasn’t afraid. 

“Oh right, that old thing,” Yakko nodded as he took a bite of the ham and kicked his feet onto the table. “Right, yeah, you see, the key to the whole thing is...” Yakko internally panicked as he tried to think. He looked at Salazar, who was a lot more threatening the closer he got to him. 

“You have something on your nose,” Yakko pointed at him. 

“What?” The King sat up and gasped. “Where?” 

Thank goodness the King was a vain egomaniac. 

“Right there,” Yakko pointed. 

The King then sniffled and rubbed nose, asking, “Did I get it?”

“Ehhhhhhh, no,” Yakko shook his head. The King did it again and Wakko and Dot picked up on what he was doing. 

“Did I get it now?” Salazar asked. 

“Ew, no, now it’s over there,” He pointed to the other nostril.

“Ew! Get it off! Get it off!” Wakko and Dot said in unison. Yakko then leaned over to the king. 

“Look- we’re trying to eat here. Could you go to the bathroom to take care of it?” Yakko asked. The King, being the major idiot that he was, nodded and went off to the bathroom. 

“Okay sibs, now’s our chance,” Yakko nodded at Wakko and Dot, who immediately understood and they started to book it down the hallways, holding each other’s hands so as to not lose one another. 

However, they came to a screeching halt when Salazar appeared in front of them. 

“You horrible, horrible children! Who taught you how to behave?!” He shouted at them. 

Was... was this guy serious???

“No one sir,” Dot’s face fell dramatically before she coughed weakly. “You see... we’re orphans,” Dot looked up at the King with puppy dog eyes, and Yakko and Wakko did the same, though they were nowhere near as cute as Dot. 

“Ah, right. Well, everyone has problems,” The King turned his back and Guards took them to the throne room. Yakko pondering annoying him further, begging for him to adopt them, but Yakko would sooner die than say that. After all, it was his fault that their parents were dead, that all of this had happened. Yakko remained silent. 

“Now, are you going to tell me the secrets of the Wishing Star or not?” King Salazar said. 

“Nope! Never,” Wakko stuck his chin up, and Yakko was forced to play along. He still didn’t know what to do, but Wakko’s response wasn’t going to make things easier. 

“Fine, we have ways of making you talk,” The King grinned darkly, and Yakko regretted his actions immediately. 

The King then snapped his fingers and the Warner siblings were dragged off by guards to a dark, filthy, disgusting, and dingy cave that was absolutely freezing and likely full of spiders and other gross things. 

“This blows,” Dot scowled at the area. 

“But it did get us some time. Maybe we can even escape from here,” Wakko suggested, still holding out hope. 

“Yakko, no natural sunlight reaches down here. we’re being illuminated by really old and dusty candles, look,” Yakko pointed up and Wakko saw them. “This is a cave, solid rock. We have to think of a secret and fast.” 

The siblings sat in silence and tried to think, but the cold was distracting, and they all huddled close to preserve body heat. That, and Dot’s cough was only getting worse because of how dust and dirt ridden the cave was, and that was hard to ignore too. Plus Yakko hated spiders and boy were they everywhere. 

Ultimately, Yakko had too much in his mind to think, which only frustrated him more, which made thinking harder, and eventually he just gave up and focused on keeping his siblings warm and close. 

“We’re still together... that’s all that matters,” He thought to himself before yawning. He hadn’t realized how exhausted he was. They had done a lot of journeying in one day, and they’d have to somewhat repeat that if they wanted to go home, and hopefully they could avoid any other near-death experiences on the way back. Yakko had had more than enough already.

They sat there and tried to think for what felt like an eternity, hearing every creepy crawling thing move against the rock floor echo against the walls. Needless to say, it was a pretty miserable time, and they were almost grateful when the guards came and took them out and back to Salazar.  

“So... are you ready to talk yet?” The King smirked as he sat on his throne. 

“Yes, but please-” Dot coughed a little. “-don’t make us go back there!” She begged. Salazar chuckled. 

“We’ll see now,  won’t we?” He said and Yakko once again wanted nothing more than to punch him in his perfect teeth. He glanced at Wakko and it looked like he was having the same thought. 

“Now, tell me the secrets to the wishing star,” He demanded. Yakko gulped. He hadn’t thought of anything, so it looked like he was just gonna have to wing it. 

“It’s uh... not about what you wish it’s about... how you wish it?” He managed to say. Well, that wasn’t a totally terrible lie, and his sibs played along swimmingly, nodding their heads. 

“Really?” The king’s expression softened as he pondered it. 

“Oh yeah,” Yakko said, stepping forward and feining confidence. “You have to be really careful, things are taken so literally these days.”

“You don’t say?” The King stroked his stupid mustache. It was working. 

“Absolutely,” Wakko chimed in. 

“Now tell me, your majesty, what are you considering wishing for?” He said, sitting on the arm of his throne. 

“Well- the top of my wishlist is to own the world,” He said, showing said list to Yakko. 

“Nah, that won’t work. You’ll just get a globe,” Yakko said. “I bet that it’ll be nice, but it won’t be what you want. Try again.”

“Ah, I suppose that won’t do,” He frowned, crossing it off the list. Yakko couldn’t believe this was actually working. The King was such an idiot. 

“How about fame and fortune?” Salazar asked. 

“That’s the name of a popular book series. Try again,” Yakko shook his head. 

“Rats... Oh! I know! I could wish for the King Midas’ touch, where everything I could touch would turn to gold” He snapped his fingers. 

“That includes food, good luck eating a solid gold turkey,” Yakko rolled his eyes. Nobody could be this moronic, right?

The King huffed and leaned on the arm of the throne Yakko wasn’t sitting on. “I never realized this wishing business was so complicated.”

“Tell me about it,” Yakko huffed as well. 

“Oh, I know! How about I wish for youth and beauty?” He jumped up and asked Yakko. 

“That’d be more likely to get you a kid and a black horse than what you actually want,” Yakko shrugged, jumping down and rejoining his sibs on the floor.

“Well let me put it another way then... what about eternal youth?” He asked.

“You want to be a baby forever?” Dot raised an eyebrow. 

“I suppose that’s a good point,” The king went back to thinking, right before standing up. “I know! I’ll wish for a million bucks,” He grinned. 

“You do know bucks is another word for deer right?” Wakko tilted his head. Salazar growled in annoyance. 

“Of course I do!” He said, grabbing his cape dramatically. 

“Oh good, for a moment there I thought you were stupid,” Wakko grinned and Yakko internally facepalmed, fearing his brother had gone too far. 

“That’s it! I’ve had enough with you incessant and dirty little monsters!” The King’s face was red as a tomato now. Apparently, he didn’t take too kindly to being called stupid. Go fig. 

“Captain! Take them away!” He ordered and the Captain of the guard appeared in a flash. 

“And have them executed.” 

“Oh no, not this again,” Yakko panicked. 

“We had a deal!” Wakko stomped his foot. 

“Well, that’s the great part about being king,” Salazar leaned down. 

“I can do whatever I want.”

After that, the guards began to push and shove them with their guns and they were taken far away from the throne room. 

“Yakko- I’m sorry-” Wakko tried to apologize. 

“It isn’t your fault Wak,” Yakko stopped him. He did not want his brother dying on a guilty conscience, that was for him and him alone. 

Soon enough, the three of them were tied to two stalagmites in a different cave room (why on earth were there so many caves in this place?) and Yakko feared this was the end. 

“Sorry to do this kids, but it’s my job, so let’s get this over with,” The captain said, tying a cloth around Yakko’s eyes. Well, at least they had some shred of mercy in their hearts to not make them stare down the guns that would be their end. “Any last requests?” He asked. 

“Yeah, set us free,” Dot said. Yakko snorted a little. 

“No can do, pretty missy. I have my orders,” The captain said, his armor clanking as he shook his head. 

“Pleeeeaasseeeee let us go?” Dot said in her sing-song ‘i’m totally not manipulating you with how cute I am’ voice, and Yakko had no doubt she was using her puppy dog eyes, but alas, he couldn’t see because of the stupid blindfold.

“No way man! Forget it!” He said, though it was clear by his tone he was struggling to resist- Dot’s plan was working. 

“Pwetty pwetty pwease? With whipped cream and a cherry on top?” She upped her game. 

“Whoa, man! You’re working your cuteness on me, man! You’re irresistible cuteness! Stop,” The captain begged, but Dot had no mercy. 

“Pweasy squesy pweasey weasy wheeze?” Dot pleaded more. There was a pause for a moment. 

“Okay okay... fine! You win, man! You and your unspeakable cuteness! Untie them!” The captain ordered and the warners were untied. After they were freed, none of them hesitated to hug each other. 

“Now fire!” The captain said, his head in his arm as he cried (Dot really did a number on him, huh?), and gunshots echoed through the whole castle. 

“However can we thank you, sir?” Dot smiled up at the captain. 

“Don’t! You’re free!” The captain jumped away from her. “Just no more of the cute thing, please,” he begged. “Just go!”

“Wow Dot, I think you may have actually broken him,” Yakko examined the man, before noticing that all the other guards were in agreeance too. 

“I know, it’s a gift,” Dot smirked and flaunted her hair. Yakko rolled his eyes, and grabbed his siblings and they headed out of the castle as fast as their legs could carry them. 

Soon enough, they had managed their way out of the castle and they could see it- The Wishing Star. 

“C’mon sibs, we’re gonna make it,” Yakko said, a smile growing on his face as he ran. However, Dot screeched to a halt as a coughing fit overcame her, and she was forced to stop. 

“I-i can’t make it,” She winced. 

“C’mon Dot, we’re almost there!” Wakko begged. Yakko looked at his brother and they both took one of her arms and started to run again, practically carrying her. 

“We’re almost there, Dot. We’re gonna make it. We’re gonna-”

Yakko heard the sound of a cannon going off and before he knew it, a large explosion threw him and his sibs off of their feet. 

Yakko grumbled, having landed flat on his face. He struggled to get himself off, and he saw Wakko had landed right next to him and was rubbing his head. Yakko then looked over his shoulder and-

No. 

No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 

Behind him was Dot, sprawled out in the snow weakly. She looked hurt- badly hurt. Yakko and Wakko quickly got themselves out of the snow and ran to her. 

God, she looked so small and weak...

“C’mon Dot, please wake up,” Yakko pleaded, placing her head in his lap. She coughed weakly. 

“D-dot? Can you hear me?” Yakko said, his eyes filling up with tears as he rubbed her cheek softly. Dot mumbled and opened her eyes slowly, looking like it took an incredible amount of energy. 

Then, she smiled softly and touched his hand. 

“Tell me the story,” She said softly. Yakko sniffled. 

“Wh-what?” he asked, sharing a nervous, concerned, and confused look with Wakko.

“The story about mom and dad,” Dot said, giggling a little. “Tell me... one last time...” she coughed as it began to snow softly. 

Yakko shook his head as tears fell from his eyes. “N-no. You need to get some rest. W-we’ll take you home a-and y-you’ll be okay. R-right Wakko?” but Wakko was silent as he looked at Dot with tear-filled eyes. 

“Once upon a time...” Dot coughed weakly, “A brave knight married a beautiful princess, and they had two sons,” She said, looking at her brothers weakly. 

“B-but they wanted a daughter too, so they planted a garden...” she said, before coughing more. Yakko closed his eyes and summoned his inner strength once more so he could speak. 

“A-and out of the prettiest flower came..?” he asked.

“Me,” Dot smiled and squeezed his hand that was now on her shoulder.

“And so m-mom and dad took you home, a-and every night at bedtime they’d come in your room and they’d ask you ‘who’s the cutest girl’ and you’d say..?” Yakko was practically whispering. 

“I am,” Dot said, her eyes growing heavier. 

 “And they’d ask ‘how’d you ever get so cute’ and you’d say..?” He scooped her up and held her in his arms, rubbing his head against hers.

“I was born with that way,” Dot said, looking at him in the eyes.

She looked so much like Mom...

“And they’d say, ‘tell us your name,’“ He said, bringing her closer and closing his eyes, willing with all of his might that she’d stay alive. “A-and you’d say?”

“Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third,” Dot managed to say. “But you can call me Dot.”

“And they’d ask, ‘can we call you Dotty?’ and you’d say..?” Tears were streaming down his face as he opened his eyes to look at her.

“No,” Dot coughed. “Just Dot. C-call me Dotty a-and you... die...”

Dot went limp in his arms. 

Yakko couldn’t speak. He looked at her up and down, begging for there to be some sign of life. His breathing quickened and he rubbed his face against hers and he sobbed. 

“I can’t afford to lose them, she knows that. She can’t die- she can’t be dead- Sh-she just can’t-”

Yakko continued to sob, a feeling of anguish and pain that took over his entire body and was totally and utterly indescribable and unimaginable to those who had never lost a loved one before. He heard sounds of people talking and shouting behind him, but he didn’t care. 

His little sister had just died in his arms. 

“I-i didn’t mean to! They were just annoying me! Those two and- wait where’s the other one?” King Salazar said, and Yakko realized Wakko wasn’t with him anymore. Yakko watched, dumbfounded and numb as Wakko ran with all of his might to the Wishing Star. 

Everyone was cheering him on, while Yakko couldn’t get himself to say anything, still holding onto Dot. His eyes widened when he saw a cannonball be fired from the King’s Castle, and was aimed right for Wakko. 

“Oh no- please no- I can’t lose him too.”

“Wakko! Watch out-” Yakko had started to shout but there was a large burst of light and everything fell silent. 

Suddenly, Dot sat up. 

“I feel much better now,” Dot said, sitting up. Yakko blinked.

“D-dot???” He stuttered. 

“Hi,” Dot sheeped, embarrassed, but Yakko wrapped her into a hug he was determined never to let go of, sobbing yet again, but this time with relief and joy. 

She was okay.

Which meant...

Yakko stood up, and picked up Dot, before running to their brother, who was standing and facing the star. 

“Nice job Wakko, you’ve done well,” The face of a man in the star said to him. Must’ve been that fairy Wakko had mentioned earlier. 

“The power of the Wishing Star is now yours,” He said. Yakko blinked. 

That meant he hadn’t made his wish yet... He looked at Dot, who was looking away from him. 

Oh he was so going to talk to her about this later. 

“At the sound of the tone, please any wish you desire,” The man continued.

  “Okay.. here it goes,” Wakko said nervously, closing his eyes and focusing really hard. 

Abruptly, the Star began to glow and expand, and Yakko feared his brother might be standing a little too close. A bright burst of light broke through the area and suddenly the star was gone. 

Wakko blinked and looked at his hands before smiling. 

“Not one... but two ha’pennies!” Wakko showed them off. Yakko blinked, before walking over, setting Dot down, and examining the coins. 

“They’re real everybody!” He announced and every citizen of Acme Falls (and even the royal guards) began to cheer and celebrate. 

Wakko then looked up at his older brother nervously. “N-now I know what you’re going to s-say a-and-”

“You made the right wish Wakko,” Yakko put a hand on his brother’s back. “With that money, you’ll be able to pay for her operation and help revive the town,” Yakko said, smiling softly but proudly at his little brother. Wakko sighed a breath of relief. 

“I was so afraid you’d be mad at me- b-but once I saw that Dot wasn’t d-dea... you know, I thought this was second best,” He said. Yakko nodded. 

“Yes, you made the right call, it’s okay Wak,” Yakko said. Wakko nodded and smiled a little, before looking at Dot and hugging her immediately. 

Yakko sighed tiredly, but couldn’t get the stupid smile off of his face. He knew he was going to have to have a long conversation with his sister about the stunt she pulled later, but for now..?

She was alive. 

Wakko was too. 

For a horrible moment, he thought he had lost them, that he was going to be alone a-and...

But he wasn’t. 

They were there, and they were together and they were going to go home. 

Dot was going to get her operation, and everything was going to be okay. 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

[strange-changes-ln]

“Strange Changes.”

Chapter 6: “A Talk.”

…

The Janitor sat, within the tension between himself, and the Governess. She had decided to take this to the Library inside of the Residence, using two chairs she had managed to find. Her stare seemed blank. Well, clearly, with the mask on, it was gonna look that way, but under it, it was… firm.

A strong silence followed on. While the Lady sat firmly, with professionalism and elegance, Roger, on the other hand, was shuffling and shifting constantly, seeing no way to make this feel less… like this. Like he’s currently facing something… almost… dangerous. Not like he hasn’t before.

And like those times, he was never ready.

Silence, still. It was never-ending, it seemed, as the two collected their thoughts, and a way to begin the conversation.

.

.

.

” What has been going on. “ The Lady finally took initiative, considering the notion that the Janitor was not, and started the conversation. Roger perked up, blinking. Oh.

” ..uh.. well.. um.. “ He considered leaving the whole shadow invader thing out of the conversation entirely. It would make things easier, right?

But, at the same time..-

It’s a terrible idea. Lying doesn’t do anyone any good.

“ ..not..much..? “ ..that works..??

The Lady simply hummed.

Behind the mask, however, she frowned, as she was not pleased. She could tell the man was lying. It was in his tone, he was questioning his own wording.

” ..Roger. “

“ ..yes..? “

“ …You know very well, that something has been arising. It has been throwing your duties off track, as well as the Chef’s’. “ She leaned forward, looming over him, even in a sitting position.

" ..H-- "

" You know how, Janitor. "

Roger shrunk, shifting in the chair for the 30th time. His arms hung off the sides, given their length. His hands tensed. Squinting at the ground for a minute.

” We cannot be losing order here in the Maw, for it is the only place in this god forsaken world that makes sense anymore. So whatever the trouble may be rising, I suggest you say it now. It is best that you put an end to the- problem.. as soon as…… “

She stopped. Is he just- spacing out right now? Is this not important to him? After all she’s given him, this doesn’t concern him at ALL?

Indeed, he was lightly rocking back and forth, staring at the ground, not exactly obtaining anything the Lady was saying to him.

..Slowly, shadows began to whirl around the Governess, as she sat straight up, her posture tense. “ Roger. “

That got his attention. Eyeing back up at—

her. And the shadows. Oh. Oh no.

“ Pay attention. Does this not mean anything to you? Whatever is going on, I insist you explain NOW. That, is an ORDER. “ The shadows grew with intensity, swirling around her, menacingly. She looked… much more threatening like this. If she hadn’t been already, that is.

He flinched, expecting a sort of- physical contact to occur if he didn’t start talking. After all, he was simply a little, slightly shaking leaf, within the breeze of the one in control of this vessel. “ ..Y-Yes, Miss.. “ He nodded, with haste, so he could just get to the point.

“ ..There’s this.. I- I don’t really know what it is. It was like- like a shadow? A big, humanoid shadow. “ That was the simplest way to explain. She maintained her exterior, staring down at him through her mask.

" ..Shadow. " Her body just barely relaxed. " ..Do they have a name. "

" That's the thing. They don't-- we don't know their name. They keep it a secret. I don't- know why. "

" ...Hmm. " She leaned back into her chair. " This is.. unfortunate. Distracting. "

" ..Mhm. " Roger slowly reached up to adjust his hat a little bit. " Is- there anything you-- or- we, could do? " Asking, slowly beginning to relax himself. The Lady hummed.

" ..I will- see what I can do. " She nodded, the shadows ceasing from the air. " But for now, you and the Chef's can attempt to stall the... thing. "

Oh thank god. " Oh- that's-.. al-alright, uhh.. alright. "

. . .

Silence. Again. This is so awkward, good lord.

The Lady stood up, slowly. " I think we are done here. You may exit. "

" -Oh-- uh.. wh-what about the chairs? " Roger blinked.

" I will tidy that up on my own time. What I need you to do, is go. Do I make myself clear..? "

" ..yes, my Lady. "

She then vanished. He.. always wondered how she did that. How she attained that- shadow magic of hers. It's strange. To him, at least. But, without another word, he made his way to the exit of the Residence.

...

Okay. Okay. This is fine. Everything is fine. You aren't dead. Everything, is okay.

Roger took in a deep breath. Yep!! Everything is cool. Everything... is cool.

He needs something to drink. He just casually shuffles his way to the Kitchen.

.

.

.

" So! The talk went well? That's good, isn't it? " Thomas spoke up, trying to sound supportive- for one reason or another- while serving the Janitor a glass of water. He handed the glass cup to the short man. " So, what did she say? "

" Well.. uhh.. " Roger took the cup, and took a quick sip. " ..Mm- she said she'd see what she could do. But I don't know exactly what she will do, or when she'll do it. "

" Pehh. She might brush us off. Like always. " Marcus huffed, pouring himself a glass of wine. Though, he did glance to Roger for a moment. " Want some? "

" Nah. I'm not feeling it. "

" Oh, c'mon! Everyone needs a bit of wine every so often. 'Sides, you're looking terrible. You could use it. " Marcus commented. He's not wrong. Roger looks.. tired. And just unfresh. The Janitor deadpanned him for a moment.

" ...Really. "

" Seriously! I'm serious! I'm right, aren't I, bro?? Tell me he doesn't look terrible. "

" W-Well, I mean- " Thomas honestly didn't know how to respond. " ..I- uhhh.. "

" Exactly! "

" Alright, alright, calm down. No need to--- to keep--- wineing about it. "

.

.

.

" That was so bad, Roger, you know that- "

The Janitor just broke into a cackle. To him, that was- the funniest thing. Why? His sense of humor is broken, most likely. Thomas tried to find it at least somewhat funny. It wasn’t really there though. But Roger seemed happy with it.

“ C-Come on, it was funny- “ The Janitor held his hand straight up, pointing it towards Marcus.

“ No, it wasn’t, Roger. That was horrible. “ Marcus cringed, which only seemed to make it better for Roger, who was still laughing, smiling from ear-to-ear.

“ Kehehehe..heheh.. okay, okay. Now, uh.. I think I should- get going. “ He tilts his head towards the exit of the Kitchen, and back into the lower parts of the Maw. He eyed the cup of water he was still holding. He- kinda spilled some on the ground from the laughing. Oops. “ ..Sorry. “

” Oh- it’s okay. “ Thomas pats his shoulder gently. “ …Can I ask you something? “

” Huh? Sure, shoot. “

” Umm.. how many fingers am I holding up? “ The Chef proceeds to hold up four of his fingers. Roger simply blinked.

” ..Four. Why— “ oh wait.

“ -Y— You can tell?? You didn’t even have t— you can see now?? “ He looked confused, and surprised at the same time. Ohgeezohmanohokay—

“ ..I- I guess?- “

“ Wait- what? I thought you were just- “ Marcus squinted. “ ..Why didn’t you say you could- “

“ oH MAN- WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME?? I REALLY GOTTA GO, I’M- “ He coughs in between the words. “ I gotta- I GOTTA- Go— do my job!! Really would like to talk some more, I REALLY would, but I shouldn’t be holding up my work, sowiththatbeingsaid, I’mgonnaleave- goodbye- bye- seeya- bye- “ Roger then ushers himself out and away from the Chefs.

He just left them in silence. A short period of silence.

” … “

” … “

“ Roger can see..? “

” Yeah, it’s weird, right?? “

” ..If- he can see, why do his eyes look so.. “

” Oh- I think that’s because.. uhh.. here, I’ll just explain it to you. “

…

Oh my god.

Why? Why did you do that? You’re so brain-dead. A moron. An idiot.

Why can’t you just talk to people correctly?

Roger groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. Once he opened them back up, his arm fell to his side, and he just- begun to shuffle forward. He needs to check on those kids. Make sure none of them went up and tried escaping while he was gone. For the while, he just thinks to himself.

The Lady. She’s very.. beautiful. But- at the same time, she’s kind of scary. And mysterious. Sort of in a sense, of- why does she wear the mask? Was it just an outfit choice, or is she hiding.. something? Where did she get that shadow thing from? It’s- sort of- confusing.

He squints. What’s gonna be done about the- the shadow person? Maybe she’ll take care of it privately? Probably, probably not.

Y’know what? Okay- stop thinking. Just keep going. Keep descending. Go check on the kids.

…

What’s their name? Why can’t they say? Is it- a sort of.. a sort of-

N-No. Stop. The last thing you need to focus on right now, is that- guy. Gal? Wait-

Stop. Just stop.

…

Roger rubs at his eyes. Tired. Need sleep. But you can’t. You gotta work first.

..you feel dirty. When was the last time you took a shower..? Washed your clothes…? Oh my god-

No- work first. Self-care second. Why is this so hard to understand right now, just do your stupid job.

He grips his head with one hand, and his face with his other, still walking, lowly groaning, and slightly humming, just trying to distract himself. Maybe-

NO. You’ve- you’ve been inconsistent enough, go do your job. The Governess didn’t let you stay here for nothing.

The hand holding his face, moves up to his hat. At least he’s not blocking his own view. You seriously need to chill. Nothing should make you do this. Focus. Focus.

..He blinks, staring at the ground, at his shoes. It’s.. kinda.. kinda blurry. He glances up ahead. Yeah.. yeah, it’s.. kinda blurry. Nothing looks right. It’s all.. it’s all.. really hard to see, right now, wait-

His arms fall to his side, his head tilts to the side, confused, rather lost, he doesn’t- understand what’s happening. He’s still walking. Does- does he even know where he’s going?? No, no, you don’t, cut it out and FOCUS. Why is that SO HARD?? You aren’t that tired, just-

He stops, scratching at his eye sockets, emitting garbled, agitated noises from his throat. Stop, stop, stop. Deep breath. In and out. In and out. You’re fine. You’re just.. tricking yourself..! Yeah.. you’re fine. You’re okay.

His vision isn’t blurry much anymore, but.. he can’t.. recognize where he is. Wait.. what?? He takes a step forward—

and he falls.