#who Steals Poison (and cake)

[fjordfolk]

thinking abt entering trojbertha for the breed special in may for shits n giggles but im also 😵‍💫 just thinking abt it

[nemo-writes]

⋆˚࿔ ⋆˚࿔ 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐞 ; 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝜗𝜚˚⋆𝜗𝜚˚⋆

↣ pack!tf141 x witch!reader

↣ chapter summary; as dawn breaks, you tend to sybil and the remains of the wreckage left by the attack. determined to root out the force behind this dark chapter, you turn to an old friend for guidance.

⚠️ warnings; slight descriptions of injuries and blood

★ previous ; next

☆ story masterlist

Morning breaks with the first faint light creeping through the cracks of your blinds, and the relentless scratching at the door finally ceases. Exhausted but relieved, you uncurl from your spot on the floor, where you spent the night huddled with Sybil. Her breathing is steady now, though a quiet whine escapes her occasionally. You gently stroke her white fur, matted with dirt and dried blood from the night’s violent encounter.

You rise cautiously, the movement tugging at the pain in your ankle. Sybil stirs beside you, lifting her head as if sensing your intent. Before focusing on her, you steal a peek through the blinds. The street below lies empty, no sign of any lurking danger. Then you check outside your apartment door, and there too, it's empty.

Reassured for now, you bend down, wrapping your arms around Sybil and lifting her up with a pained grunt. The adrenaline that had fueled you the night before has vanished, leaving only raw, trembling determination. Step by agonizing step, you make your way down the stairs, each descent slow and labored, every creak of the wood magnifying the weight of your exhaustion.

The shop is unrecognisable.

Shelves that once held carefully labelled jars and vials are toppled, their contents spilled across the floor in a kaleidoscope of shattered glass and stained herbs. Your cauldron lies overturned near the counter, its contents long soaked into the wooden floorboards. The air still smells of the burnt potion that had scorched Ghost’s skin.

The destruction around you is overwhelming, but Sybil’s soft whine pulls you back to the present. You set her down gently on a comfortable patch of floor, cleared from the chaos.

You scavenge what’s left, finding a few unbroken jars of salve and bandages hidden under the counter. Working methodically, you tend to Sybil's wounds, cleaning and wrapping them with as much care as your shaky hands allow. She remains still, enduring the discomfort with quiet patience.

Once she is cared for, you turn to your own leg. Your ankle is swollen and caked in dry blood, bruised from where Ghost had dragged you across the floor, his claws tearing into your flesh. You bite your lip as you clean the puncture wound. Wraith poison. It seeps slowly into the bloodstream, and if not treated, it can be lethal. You rub a poultice into the marks and wrap your leg tightly, knowing it will take time to heal, but at least it’s no longer a death sentence for either of you.

As you move to clean and pick up the remains of your shattered apothecary, every movement feels like an effort. You work slowly, but you push through, driven by the need to restore some sense of order.

While sweeping debris near where Ghost had writhed in pain, you freeze. Embedded in the floor, glinting faintly under the dim light, is one of Ghost’s nails, sharp and black, splintered into the wood from his violent struggle. You kneel down, inspecting it closely—its edges are jagged, coated in dried blood, and it radiates an eerie, dark energy. Carefully, you take a cloth and extract it.

Holding the nail in your hands, an idea begins to form.

You know of someone who can and will help. You swallow hard, the decision settling heavily within you. She’s not someone you reach out to lightly, but this time… there’s no other choice.

. . .

You leave Sybil resting on your bed, and only when her eyes flutter closed, do you leave her side, the familiar warmth of her presence a small comfort in the back of your mind.

You gather what you need, moving with purpose despite the clammines in your hands. The bathroom becomes your makeshift altar, and though the tub is humble, it will serve.

Carefully, you sprinkle the salvaged herbs into the water, watching as they drift across the surface. Each herb was chosen with intent—rosemary for protection, thyme for courage, lavender for clarity. A handful of salt follows, grounding the mixture and cleansing it.

With a slow exhale, you press your own nail hard against your thumb with a flinch, allowing a drop of your blood to fall into the tub. The water shudders, rippling outward in response, as though alive to your plea. Then, you murmur her name.

The surface of the water begins to glow with a faint, silvery light, casting soft reflections on the walls. The air thickens, each breath becoming heavier as the veil between worlds trembles before finally falling open.

Slowly, deliberately, she emerges from the tub. The top of her head, crowned with dark, damp hair, breaks through first, followed by her sharp, regal features, her eyes pale pools. She rises until her neck and shoulders hover just above the waterline, her arms gracefully settling over the edge of the tub.

Her gaze finds yours, calm but penetrating, a knowing smile flickering across her lips as she studies your face. The familiarity settles comfortably in the air between the two of you.

"Thou art troubled, mine old friend," she speaks, her voice a soft echo in the space. "What darkness doth plague thy heart?"

Her presence, while comforting, still commands your respect. You were taught from childhood to call her name only when truly needed, for she was an ally to your bloodline, but not a spirit to be called upon lightly.

Her eyes fix upon your battered state. “Thou art a sight most grievous,” she says, her voice rich with the cadence of old English. “Fear gnaws at thy bones, and pain hath left thee ragged, hollow. Wounded, indeed.”

You breathe deeply, pulling yourself together as you lift the cloth-wrapped object from your side. Silently, you offer her Ghost's nail, dark and deadly. Her gaze sharpens as she accepts it, her slender fingers turning it over in quiet, focused examination.

“Reveal to me the source of his madness,” you plea, “and of the others’. Please, show me what’s driven them to this.”

She studies the nail, tracing its jagged edges. Finally, she speaks.

“Aye,” she begins, voice grave, “thou seeketh the truth behind his descent. Yet, be warned: the truth is not what it seemeth. She, the one they pursue—she is not untouched, not unscarred by the same darkness. Though she is the centre, she is not the cause. She is but human, and another hand doth shape this tale.”

Your pulse quickens, mind racing as her words sink in. Leah—she was a source, but not the architect of this obsession. Her eyes hold yours, unreadable but certain.

“There is a design here, a careful orchestration. Another, cunning and cloaked, doth play upon thy pack’s nature, bending their hearts to obsession, their minds to ruin. This plan hath taken root already; what was begun is now well underway.”

Leah is as much a victim in this as the pack—only a piece in someone else’s scheme. "Who?" you ask, desperation slipping into your voice. “Who would do this?”

Her expression softens, but she shakes her head. "The shadow hath yet to reveal itself. But know this: as long as the threads go unseen, the madness shall deepen. The one who drives this seeks not thy destruction alone. Their aim is vast—boundless.”

With a slight tilt of her head, she turns back to you, holding the nail delicately between her fingers. She then extends it to you, resting it on the cloth. Her cool hand closes around yours, a silent reminder of the weight and danger that this fragment carries.

“Hold this close, child,” she murmurs. “For it may yet serve thee well. In times of shadow, such remnants of truth may be weapons against the dark.”

Then her hand releases yours, trailing up to your cheek with a tender, cool touch, thumb tracing a slow, reassuring line as her gaze holds yours, unyielding and steady.

“Do not let thy heart waver,” she whispers, voice soft yet powerful. “Thou art not so easily uprooted, nor cast aside by such an evil. Thy roots run deep, born of stronger stock than this darkness anticipates. Hold fast.”

Then, as swiftly as she’d come, she begins to sink back beneath the water, her fingers slipping from the edge of the tub, leaving you with more questions than answers. Alone in the dim light of your bathroom, each revelation settles like stones in your chest.

You’re not without fault either. You’d fed your own resentments, let jealousy twist your perspective until you’d unknowingly played into the hands of whatever force sought to divide and conquer. And that needs to end here.

With clarity finally settled on your mind, your thoughts turn again to Laswell. She’s always been the town’s first line of defence, and whatever is lurking here has crept under her watch. If anyone can help you make sense of things, it’s her.

With Ghost’s nail clutched tightly in your hand, you gather yourself and start moving. You leave Sybil behind, resting and safe as you focus on Laswell. It’s time to face everything—to confront whatever has been taking root here.

. . .

On the other side of town, Alejandro and Rudy moved through the quiet, pre-dawn streets, taking care of some early business that couldn’t wait for full daylight. Alejandro was scanning over the market supplies they’d been tasked to retrieve while Rudy jotted down some notes, the calm routine a welcome reprieve.

The usual scent of bread and spice mingled with the morning chill—until something sharp, unsettling, cut through it.

Alejandro stopped short, head tilting as his trained nose caught the unmistakable hint of blood. A slow tension crept up his spine as he recognized it, mixed with something familiar and wrong all at once His grip tightened around his gear, and he motioned for Rudy to follow.

They followed the faint trail toward the edge of the Rose District, its shadowy streets still cast in the muted dawn light. And there, half-shifted and sprawled against the stone, lay none other than Ghost. A mix of something matted his clothes, his form slumped but menacing even in partial human form.

Alejandro moved closer, but as Rudy reached out instinctively to help, Alejandro’s hand shot out, stopping him. “Espérate,” he hissed, his tone sharp, eyes narrowing as he zeroed in on Ghost's red-stained neck and knuckles. The fury building within him found confirmation in the scent lingering on the half-wraith's skin—it was unmistakably yours.

“It’s her blood,” Alejandro said, voice low and furious.

Rudy’s eyes widened, and before either could demand answers, Ghost’s eyes shot open, wild and feral. With a snarl, he surged to his feet, tearing away from their reach and disappearing back into the shadows, leaving only their unanswered questions and a trail of dread in his wake.

Rudy turned to Alejandro, jaw clenched. "We need to check on her. Now."

Without hesitation, they both turned on their heels, abandoning their morning duties. The journey back to your shop felt longer than it should, the urgency of what they might find gnawing at both of them.

The strange behaviour of the pack had lingered at the edges of Alejandro's thoughts. He remembered how odd they’d been the last time he and Rudy had delivered your tonics and potions to them—unsettled, like they were barely holding themselves together. He cursed at his carelessness. Whatever had been brewing beneath the surface had clearly boiled over, and now, you were caught on it dead and centre.

When they finally arrived at your shop, the destruction greeted them like a wound left open. Clearly someone had attempted to clean up, but shelves remained overturned, dried patches of blood staining the wooden floor. Alejandro could smell Ghost’s all over. But you were already gone. His eyes flickered upstairs when a soft whine from upstairs reached his ears.

“Sybil’s here,” Alejandro murmured. Rudy followed him cautiously up the stairs, where they came face-to-face with the door of your apartment—warded heavily with a spell they both recognized. It allowed only those with genuine intentions to pass.

A moment passed before the door clicked softly open, just enough to let them through. They ventured deeper inside and into your room, where the found Sybil laying in your bed, her head lifting as the pair approached. Her intelligent eyes locked with their, and though she couldn’t speak, her exhaustion told them everything.

"Pobrecita (Poor girl)," Rudy sighed, eyes soft as he looked at the injured familiar.

Alejandro, as a Perro Negro (Black Dog), possessed a bond with spirits, especially those of dogs or wolves. He knelt by her side, hand resting gently on her fur. Their connection deepened, and in the quiet of the room, Sybil communicated what she had witnessed. Through her thoughts, he saw the chaos that had unfolded—the fight, the terror, the injury. And most importantly, he saw where you had gone.

“Se fue a buscar a Laswell, (She went to look for Laswell)” Alejandro said, standing, his voice heavy with understanding. “That’s where we need to go.”

banner credit

[yuri-is-online]

A really stupid idea I had and I can't even decide where I want it to go 😩

Anyone of the first years heard from a guy in their club that their boyfriends bestfriends roommates cousins friend has a thing for Yuu and a bad reputation for using love potions, suddenly first year of your choice is taking his bodyguard duties for Yuu even more seriously than ever and watching them like a Hawk until one day Yuu seemingly receives a nice gift package from an "secret admirer" and the boys panic, snatching the treat from Yuu's hand and chowing down themselves because they're dumb and impulsive and in love.

What follows is either;

A. The "secret admirer" was actually Grim who wanted to do something nice for his Henchhuman by making them tuna filled muffins as thanks for their service and now not only did they inhale the worst cake ever, got a tantrum throwing Grim to appease.

B. There was a love potion in those cookies, but whoever laced them is actually kinda bad at potionology and they're "Puppy love" potions, cue our freshman acting like The Prince from Mirror Mirror (2012) when he had a puppy love potion. His reputation at school will never recover from this but its worth it because Yuu now looks at him like he's the sunrise itself for taking that bullet for him.

C. There was no love potion. No shady business. Just normal brownies and now a very upset Yuu. Even if they understood his concerns, do you think between their allowance and Grim's appetite they want to hear excuses for them stealing food from Yuu!? He promises he'll make it up to them just stop hitting him! 💦💦

D. There was no love potion.2 but man. These pretzels...really suck. The freshman almost feels bad for whoever sent them because if this was their pickup attempt then they lost before they even began. Wait, what? Yuu made these to send as a secret admirer to their crush!? Now he's got even more complicated feelings about this whole ordeal while Yuu sulks about how the guy they wanted to give these to just said they suck to their face.

E. There was no love potion.3 but Yuu doesn't have to know that. Now the Freshman is free to "pretend" all his flirting and affection is thanks to those croissants AND play the hero. Its full proof! Until Ortho runs a diagnostic to find a cure for him and reveals that there was no potion that is. Hey, he can always try and claim a placebo effect, right?💦

F. The love potion was actually an aphrodisiac and now Yuu has t[I AM BEATEN TO DEATH BY KING MICKEYS KEYBLADE]

So the problem with this ask is that I really love all of these options and they could all work for a small fic for each of the options. That being said, there are specific ones that suit certain first years more than others.

A. The Great Grim's Perfect Surprise- Ace

Floyd is the one who gives Ace the heads up that someone with a bad reputation was interested in Yuu. And hey that was technically true! It's just that Floyd also over heard Grim bragging about the cupcakes he made and had a brilliant idea.

It's the worst possible case scenario for Ace, the cake tasted horrible, Grim is throwing a tantrum, Floyd is there and he brought Jamil to laugh at him too. This fucking sucks he hates his life man. Well until you shoo everyone out and shush Grim with some praise before turning your focus to him.

You're so concerned about him it makes his heart hurt. You get him something to drink and fuss over him for the rest of the day in a way that makes him fall in love with you all over again. Those half hearted scolds about there being better ways to get rid of poison don't land at all, doesn't matter how he does it he'll keep you safe and that's a promise.

B. Puppy Love Potion- Jack

The captain of the track team tells Jack and Deuce together, he knows the two of them are your friends and that they'll make sure you stay safe. Unfortunately he's not fully aware of how... delusional Jack is about how not into you he is.

The puppy love potion has him acting like even more of a puppy than usual. His tail won't stop wagging and he is actually smiling at you, thank the seven he's so willing to listen to what you have to say so you can keep him in Ramshackle until the potion wears off. He manages to reclaim his reputation just fine, Jack's a scary fucking guy when he tries to be and you'd have to be really stupid to mess with him when he's in a mood.

... not that you can really tell the difference between puppy love Jack and normal Jack when the Ramshackle Prefect insists on looking at him like that. He must really hate his tail.

C. How Dare You Eat my Food- Deuce

Same as before: captain gives the heads up, Jack and Deuce are really concerned, and Deuce decides to do something about it because he's in love and doesn't want to see you get hurt.

He doesn't realize there was nothing wrong with them until you point it out and he's beyond heartbroken. Please you have to understand he didn't mean it! Sure those brownies were really good and yeah maybe he should have realized that they were normal about half way through the pan but- he's so sorry! He's not above getting on his knees to beg for forgiveness and especially not from you.

There is a rule in Heartslabyul about returning things after you take them, so as soon as Deuce learns he took your food he's already planning on replacing it. Maybe you would let him borrow your kitchen? He won't let you help since he's fixing his own mistake but he doesn't see why you can't hang out. You'll get fresh brownies out of it and he gets to look cool Task failed successfully?

D. This is... Adequate I Suppose- Sebek

Only someone with an actual death wish would come up with this sort of plan in Riddle's presence. He's screaming, the paddock is on fire, and no one is really stopping him because hey idiot deserves it and also has anyone seen where Sebek went? Would have thought he'd have something to say too given that whole "crush he has on the prefect thing"

Well that's because he's too busy eating your pretzels with a trademark look of disgust as he tells you about what happened at Equestrian club today. These suck, he has such high standards for what you are worthy of and if it weren't for the potential danger posed to you he never would have-

Your wry disappointment silences him immediately, his look of concern and shock is really cute so it sort of makes up for how much his words hurt. He's aghast, you have someone you... admire? Someone you are too shy to confess to? And you made them something with your own two hands, he actually wants to cry he's so embarrassed, jealous, and in love all at the same time.

"You shouldn't have to do this. You- You are the one who deserves to be pursed. But if it is something you wish to do-" He draws himself up into a proper knight's stance, stiff as board and deeply determined to be seen as reliable. Safe. A... friend if you will allow it and something more if he could be so blessed. "-then we shall begin training immediately! Back to the kitchen, human!"

E. Placebo Effect- Epel

Only someone with an actual death wish would come up with this plan pt. 2 except Leona is a lot more reasonable than Riddle with how he handles it. He tells Epel to go check on Yuu while he goes to dump the guy on Crewel. That way he doesn't have to be the one to fill out all of the annoying disciplinary paperwork.

So he knows by the time he shows up at Ramshackle that there really is no threat to your safety but still... this sort of opportunity is just too good to pass up. And he's such a good actor too, if this wouldn't get him in trouble with Vil he'd rub it in his dorm leader's face.

See Vil! He doesn't need no fancy manners or etiquette, Yuu's flushed and charmed by his old fashioned gentlemanly behavior. He's holding doors, pulling out your chair, giving you all of the compliments he thinks about but never says for fear of looking uncool. He even gets to bake apple pie with you until Ortho calls his bluff. Sure, he should have some shame, but this is Epel we're talking about. He claims the placebo effect and pretends to be super embarrassed while gauging your reaction for any trace of disappointment.

If he's satisfied with how sad you are he just might make it up to you with a real date~

Like I was saying all of these prompts could really work for any of them and- huh could have sworn there was a sixth one. Weird anyway thanks for the ask!

...

....

..... ok so now that the coast is clear:

First thing's first, they're all mad as hell that someone tried to drug you with an aphrodisiac. That's so beyond disgusting, who does this guy think he is?

Ace's focus is entirely on you. He doesn't outright admit what's wrong, he actively teases you for being into him when you express concern as if it doesn't send a painful pang of arousal through him when you don't deny it. You have to make a move, he'll ask for it half serious half joke, but he wants you to do this because you want him and not as some sort of favor please don't say it like that- He starts taking shots at the other guy when he regains enough of his ego to flip you on your back and start taking the lead. Really, how stupid was that guy to think he had a chance when you only have eyes for him, prefect? Now don't you dare try to hide your cute expressions from him, he's been looking forward to this.

Jack is convinced he can just lock himself in his room and endure. He tries thinking of it as a training exercise, sure he might have had some... similar feelings before. Similar thoughts, painful dreams that felt real until he woke up alone, drenched in sweat, painfully unfulfilled and deeply embarrassed. But nothing can compare to the real you, he's almost angry that he ever thought that at all now that you're underneath him. He's so lucky that you're his mate, that he can bite into your neck and thrust into your body and have you accept him even as he locks you together in a sticky mess of sweat and slick. He's beyond embarrassed when he wakes up still balls deep with your fingers running through his matted hair. This would be the worst if he didn't have a cute, very human, bite of his own on his neck.

Deuce's anger is made so much worse by him being horny. The other guy is terrified, everyone around him is terrified Deuce is aware he's gone full delinquent and he can't seem to stop. By the time you find him his knuckles are bruised, he's sweaty, with rumpled clothes, and taking great heaving breaths unable to deny the effects he's feeling and asking you to forgive him. Deuce has an idea of what he wanted your first time to be like. He wanted to take you out on a real date, he wanted to be honorable with you. He didn't expect you to be the one to push him back against the shower stall and take him just as quick and dirty as he feels. You're so beautiful, he's so powerless in the face of your naked desire and very eager to please. Just tell him what you want him to do; he's all yours.

Sebek can't lie about how he feels to save his life. All of NRC knows he's horny because he's screaming about how not horny he is right now and how much he doesn't think your flesh looks super supple, bitable even seven he just wants to- Lilia doesn't let him ignore those feelings after confirming you aren't the slightest bit uncomfortable being the center of Sebek's attention. He's shy, in denial. He is proud of his honorable intent and self control. But he is in love with you and with that love comes a deep, fathomless desire edged with obsessive devotion that all fae pride themselves in. He needs your guidance, he's unused to this. That obsessive attention hangs on your every gasp and moan, when he finds a noise he likes he hammers at the source again and again until you reward him with the most wonderful noise of all. When the potion has worked its way through his system the hunger still remains; his appetite is voracious. A potion is nothing compared to his own desires, hopefully this little accident left you prepared.

Epel's anger is also made so much worse by being horny. But Leona already dealt with the scumbag so it's not like he can work out his aggression on the creep... so won't you let him take it out on you? He's completely serious, the drug has gone straight to his dick and he's not interested in pretending like he doesn't want you prefect. No taking care of it himself won't work, no don't be shy it really can't be anyone else. You want a real man? Well he's right here and he wants you something fierce. Epel wouldn't be this confident if he didn't have so much adrenaline running through him, but he can't bring himself to be embarrassed when he comes to his senses and sees you bent over your desk and much more out of breath than him. He's going to be riding this high for the rest of the year, and he's going to make sure you feel it for just as long too.

[jazeswhbhaven]

💜Only 4 Me, Levi: Mass Birthday Post💜

💜Mini Playlist💜

Obsession- Innerpartysystem Change- Deftones People Error- the GazettE Filth in the Beauty- the GazettE I'm That Girl- Beyonce All Mine- Kali Uchis

💜Cake Flavor Headcanon💜

White Chocolate Raspberry bundt cake, drizzled with sweet cream and Raspberry compote

💜How the Nobles Celebrate Their King's Birthday💜

Foras: He mostly tries to convince Glas and Barbatos to leave Leviathan alone so he can serve him by himself all day. After being turned down for the third time with the span of five minutes, he's opted to hang himself for him instead.

Barbatos: He wanted to present a perfect rosebush he worked on growing in the shape of Leviathan. But it was too distracting so Levi destroyed it and Barb was to hang for thinking he could replicate Levi's beauty with plants.

Glasyalabolas: He intentionally seeks out MC, in attempts to spend alot of time with them in order to agitate his Majesty. He's even taken off the top half of his uniform to show off his form and let MC put their hand through his chest...which didn't last long because Leviathan immediately dragged him back to the palace by his rope to hang.

Orias: Oh the usual, he tried to get his soul...steal his life force, pulled all the pranks he could because he assumed he'd be distracted by his birthday and MC. He even put poison in a cupcake and tricked MC into delivering it. Ofc Levi suspected it and every plan failed. Up he goes!

Overall: None of these nobles work together, too jealous of one another and wanting to one up on who's praising Levi the most. Sadly, it's even certain that Levi would hate it more if his nobles planned something together for him anyway. How dare they all work together to waste time? Well it is for him. But still, can't have idle hands when there's things in Hades to take care of.

💜How Levi Celebrates with MC💜

MC does what their told and stays exactly where they were standing with their phone in hand. Suddenly, there's a presence behind their back...

MC: Oh! Levi, you showed up...

Leviathan: Why wouldn't I? I told you I was coming...

MC: Right. Um, So?

Leviathan: First, look at my face. What do you see?

MC: Nothing in particular...just your face?

Leviathan: No. Tell me what you see.

MC: Just a pretty face looking at me? Is that what you wanted to hear?

Leviathan: *scoffs* Next, focus on my horns.

MC: Levi...

Leviathan: Is there a problem? Or are you just too stupid to pay attention?

MC: No! Hey. I get it you're better than the others...you don't have to show....

Leviathan grabs their arm and starts dragging them back to his room

Leviathan: It seems you need to focus in a more private setting. Being in the middle of this hallway has you thinking about other men again.

MC: ????? But I-

Leviathan: I swear if I could tie you up and throw you in my coffin for the rest of your life I would. At least there you would have nothing to think about.

MC: *thinks to themselves* Guess this is best I'll get for celebrating his birthday.

Leviathan: See? You're doing it right now aren't you? Unbelievable. Right in front of me...*grumbles and drags them faster*

💜Levi and Beel: The Worst Besties Ever💜

Beelzebub once tried to throw Leviathan a surprise birthday party in Aybssos by luring him there with false pretenses that it was important. The amount of devils yelling "surprise" pissed of Leviathan so much he chased around Beel for three days trying to kill him for doing this. After the three days, he went back home to find a pile of gifts waiting for him that magically appeared from Beel. He told Foras to burn every single one, but changed his mind and took them anyway. He still has the gifts in his room in a glass case that he covers with a blanket so others can't see it. He uncovers it once in a while to dust it and look over everything.

nsfw incoming....

💜He doesn't normally celebration his birthday so he skips the formalities

💜A present? Why did you waste so much time picking something when he hasn't told you what he liked? Oh wait...he does like it...

💜The gift is easily forgotten because he suspected you asked someone else about what he likes, which means you're speaking to other devils again

💜As your clothes strip, he asks who was it that told you what he liked? Was it that annoying fly? That beast from Tartaros? The walking disaster that defends Gehenna?

💜It doesn't matter who you were asking, you're here now sprawled on his bed with your legs folded close to your chest so he can thrust so deep you won't remember anything but his cock in your hole

💜He leans in for you so you have a good reach for his neck, make sure you choke him with vigor or he'll stop thrusting in that good spot that's making your eyes roll

💜Repeat his name over and over during, say it perfectly, same tempo, don't waver...he wants to know all you're thinking about is him.

💜How many hours have passed? Does it matter to you that much? Of course not. His mission has succeeded and you're thinking about nothing except of how your brain is mush, every orifice on your body has been filled with cum, and marks have been left in obvious places for others to see.

💜Your his. his. h i s. You belong to Leviathan. No matter if it's his birthday or any other day.

💜Happy Birthday to the Most Envious and Petty King, Leviathan 11/01💜

[irisintheafterglow]

HAND ONE - HIGH CARD

summary: in a season where you're determined to fly under the radar, newly-returned crown prince!touya todoroki has other ideas. in this hand, a duel is fought.

wc: 1.7k

cw/tags: royalty!au/regency!au, fem!reader, first meeting, touya's sass need its own warning

note: SURPRISE !! bet iris starting another series wasn't on your 2024 bingo (it wasn't on mine) but here we are! this whole series is based on this little idea from a few months back and will include swordfighting! fake dating! mutual pining! angst! balls! (the royal kind, not,,, yk) oh and many poker metaphors lol. hope you enjoy this first little exposition chapter :))

likes, reblogs, and replies are greatly appreciated <3

You would admire the spectacle of it all, had it not been for the aching pain in your feet. 

The hand-me-down heels from your estranged stepmother made it hard to focus on anything but your breathing as you tried to steady yourself against a nearby column in the palace garden. You could practically hear her shrill screaming in your ears for not doing enough to network among the other young nobles, for failing to present yourself as fit for bearing children you didn’t want. As the people you’d grown up with since birth milled about carefully-tended roses and large-bloomed peonies, you couldn’t imagine how they weren’t sweating all their caked-on makeup off in the stifling June heat. Fishing the lacy hand fan from your clutch, you relocate to a shadier side of the column under the stone walkway lining the garden. An aggressive snap echoes off nearby walls when you flick it open and sigh when the air hits your face. 

“You stole my spot,” comes a smooth male voice from the other side of the column. You don’t think the person is talking to you, but then you hear an amused snicker and a small thank you to who you assume is a passing servant. It’s awkwardly silent except for faraway conversations and the breeze blown from your fan until the man clears his throat. “I’m holding out a water to you, if you would kindly look over your shoulder.” Slightly irritated by the condescending tone in his voice, you look and, sure enough, there was a cold glass of water in the stranger’s white-gloved hand. You couldn’t see his face, nor the rest of his body, but something in your gut told you that it was safe. And, if it did happen to be poisoned, at least it got you out of another season. Carefully taking the glass from his long fingers, most of the tension in your body leaves after the first few sips slide down your throat. “Refreshing?”

“Very,” you answer cordially, in that airy tone your stepmother taught you. She said it was a fine way to attract suitors, which made you want to drop your voice several octaves whenever a potential husband drew near. “Thank you. That was very kind of you, Mister…?”

“My identity is irrelevant,” he says quickly and you turn your head in his direction, as if to hear him better. “Nor will I ask of yours, so consider this conversation akin to speaking to a wall.”

“From my perspective, I am speaking to a wall,” you point out and the stranger chuckles under his breath. “May I ask why you aren’t socializing with the others?”

“I could ask the same of you, considering that you’re cowering behind a column.” The jab was evident. Your mouth drops in indignancy and, had it not been for heat exhaustion and your nice spot in the shade, you would have decked whoever was on the other side of this conversation. 

“I am not cowering,” you huff, taking another sip and willing the temperature to decrease just a few degrees. “I am merely…taking a break.”

“Taking a break where no one else can find you? For ten minutes?”

“A woman values her privacy,” you argue. “And as far as I’m aware, you were able to find me quite easily. Perhaps you were the one trying to hide, and I was the one who stole your spot.”

“So, you do acknowledge that you are stealing from me.”

“Space in this garden is not something to be claimed unless you are of the royal family, dear stranger.” You hope he can hear the smirk in your tone. 

“And yet, here you are, stealing what is rightfully mine.” 

“And yet, here you are, stealing what is rightfully mine,” you echo in a nasally, mocking voice that would have placed you in major trouble if your parents knew how you were addressing others. “Cease your bratty ramblings as if you own this palace.” The man barks out a laugh, a reaction you didn’t anticipate. It makes your heart race a little faster, in spite of your will to stay casual. 

“Have suitors ever told you that you’re quite the firecracker?”

“Bold of you to assume they get as far as to speak with me,” you correct without hesitation. Presentations were one of the stupidest parts of your present society, along with those tiny sandwiches and that tea that tastes like boiled shoes. “If they decide to pursue me, that’s their first mistake.” The stranger hums in a low tone. 

“Maybe you haven’t found the right suitor, then,” he muses and, before you can answer, the royal bugles announce the beginning of the duels. Excited cheers and the clicking sound of heels on pavement take over any remaining conversations. You whirl around to the other side of the column, anxious to see the mysterious man you were conversing with, but find the other side as vacant as when you first passed it. Slightly disappointed, you find your place along the perimeter of the circular stone courtyard and wait for the king’s advisor to speak. 

“Today is a day of celebration,” he begins, and you mutter the rest of his speech that you’d heard for the past four years under your breath. The hair stands up on the back of your neck and instinct tells you that someone was watching you, but you can’t find who it is among the hundreds of people present. You think you’ve found the culprit when you lock your gaze with a pair of strikingly blue eyes, but they disappear before you can identify the rest of the person. “And, as you are most likely already aware, this year we welcome His Highness Prince Touya Todoroki to the presentation ceremonies. Though he is of a royal family, those that wish to court or be courted by His Highness may present themselves as suitors as they ordinarily would.”

“And will the Prince grace us with his esteemed presence, or is he preoccupied with his ordinarily outlandish activities?” Sneers and snide remarks ripple through the crowd and the advisor struggles to regain their attention. That is, until that same loud barking laugh that you heard from the other side of the column cuts through the murmurs and mutters.

The voice that follows makes your blood run cold in your veins. 

“How bold to assume any of you are worthy of breathing in my presence.” 

“Your Highness–” 

“Shut up,” he spits, shivers spreading over your skin as the crowd splits to reveal an unruly mass of spiked white hair. His eyes are paralyzingly bright, cold and narrow while they scan the vermin before him. The rumors that circulated of his intimidating nature paled in comparison to the man before you, tall and lean and radiating the most dangerous aura you’d ever come across. All the previously gloating eyes became that of rabbits hunted by a wolf when they came under his gaze…except for yours. By some odd stroke of Fate, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d seen the Prince before, even though that was physically impossible. Maybe you’d passed another white-haired asshole in the market. “Well? Are we starting or shall you keep gawking until I staple your jaw shut?” The advisor stumbles, shrinking away like a mouse in a lion’s den. 

“Yes, Your Highness. May the first Lady to be courted please step forward!”

As the gowns start to swoop and the swords begin to swing, you’re again reminded of just how unnecessary the spectacle of presentation season always was. One by one, daughters of nobility presented themselves to the suitors, who would then step forward and duel one another for the opportunity to court the Lady. The fights were never to the death, of course, but the shame that came with losing more than one duel was close to it; nothing was more embarrassing, however, than having no suitors step forward when a Lady presented herself. It was your worst fear every season, one that you seemingly didn’t need to worry about this time around.

Still, you were met with the same pasty-faced suitor that had been attempting to win your hand for the past several seasons. He’d accumulated significantly more muscle mass since the previous season, but his hot-headed temper and objectifying tendencies were enough of a turn off to send him packing by the end of the first meeting. 

“You have rejected me time and time again, but that only makes you more enticing,” he declares, offering his hand to you while you roll your eyes behind your fan. Ladies who already received their matches swoon at his show of masculinity, but it only makes your stomach turn. “I will win you. That is my promise. And, if not this season, then the next, and I will persevere until the only eyes you look for in a room are mine.” 

“The only thing I would be looking for in a room with you is an exit,” you mutter. He doesn’t answer, eyeing you like you were a wise investment. Gross. 

“You’d do well to accept me.” Your attention darts upward and you meet his stare, irritated at your lack of a response. The volume of his voice drops so that only you two can hear it as he comes to stand inches away from your face. “It’s not like you have the privilege of other options. Marry me or life as a spinster is your only future.” 

“I wouldn’t marry you if the entire kingdom was at stake,” you hiss and his mouth turns up in a snarl, ready to bite out a response when the shing! of a sword being pulled from its sheath echoes through the courtyard. A quiet verbal commotion sets into the crowd, but you’re unable to see anything beyond the asshole before you. 

"Your business is with me, not her," warns a dangerously familiar voice and the man in front of you stiffens. "Let's get this over with."

“The…ahem…duel will begin once both suitors are in first positions,” the advisor relays with great hesitation. You’d never experienced a duel for your hand, yet it seemed that another man had been dealt into the game. With his face drained of its remaining color, Pasty-face draws his blade like an inexperienced marionette, clunky and jagged, as he takes his place in the circle, allowing you to catch the eye of his opponent, molten blue eyes that make your knees turn gelatinous. The prince was dueling for your hand. 

Prince Touya of the Todoroki family was dueling for your hand. 

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[crepes-suzette-373]

One Piece Magazine Reiju short story

I recently bought One Piece Magazine to read the Reiju short story. I don't know how to share this experience other than just straight up translating the whole thing, but it was utterly hilarious chaos with the brothers trying to cook and it just ended up being a disastrous mess.

I'll give a summary, I guess...

Reiju and her brothers went to another kingdom for a diplomatic discussion, but once they were done, the Germa ships that were supposed to pick them up got delayed by the weather. The bros can't wait so they demand the locals to be given a ship.

Niji/Yonji: "Oh good, they understand. So we don't have to steal a ship."

Well, they did tell the people that Germa will compensate them, but still.

And yeah, the guys were so hungry that they were like "Even though royals shouldn't do menial things like cooking, we're dying of hunger here so it can't be helped."

All writers apparently agree that Niji misses Sanji like an utter dumbass because in the kitchen he out of nowhere says "Didn't we used to have a younger brother called Sanji who likes to cook?"

Yonji says "Yeah, he was kind of lame" and Ichiji says there's been wanted posters of him being spread around.

(Edit: I saw another post saying that the one who brought up Sanji first is Ichiji. To be fair, in the actual text there's no dialogue tags indicating who was talking. It's definitely not Yonji, because it specified "younger" brother. I personally read this as Niji because the sentence was more informal-sounding)

Based on the info they got, Reiju is aware of Sanji's history with Baratie and the Straw Hat crew, and thinks that because he's listed as just a cook on the wanted posters and not "fighter/combatant", he's probably still not much stronger than before.

Ichiji found some pork, labelled to be from Broc Coli. Reiju mentioned that Broc Coli specialises in pig farming and the pigs have been selectively bred to improve the meat quality. Ichiji commented "Oh, it's similar to our lineage factor modification, then", but then the next second he suddenly gets mad about it himself, throws the meat to the ground and was like "How could pigs compare to our Vinsmoke royal family."

Reiju: "You brought it up yourself out of nowhere though? :/"

Ichiji is grumpy and wants to go fishing instead. With the Raid Suit. Don't know how, wasn't explained, maybe he Sparking Valkyrie'd the fishes.

Niji wants to make chocolates, but had a meltdown because the recipe calls for cooking/confectioner's chocolate. He was like "Why?? do you?? need chocolate?? to make chocolate??? If the chocolate is already there I'll just eat that directly???"

(Note: It's not making cake or brownies or anything, it's making something along the lines of chocolate truffles or milk chocolates or other forms of chocolate that isn't just straight up dark chocolate/confectioner's chocolate. He's confused because the final product is still just "chocolate")

Yonji wants to make bread because it looks easy. Reiju decided to try to make something too, and wanted to make tamagoyaki (Japanese rolled omelettes) because she remembered reading about it in a story book with Sora before.

Reiju's logic: "If a penguin (in the story book) can cook, then even a beginning like me can do it." (so much for Reiju being the rational one)

Yonji starts shouting for help. His bread is a goopy mess and is a total failure. Apparently he didn't add the yeast because the recipe says 3g of yeast, and that's almost 0, so he didn't add any. Reiju tells him to make sure to follow the steps properly.

Ichiji comes back with a giant fish, and is asking for poison check. No poison, so Reiju left him to cut the fish.

Yonji is still having trouble, and he says he had added the ingredients properly this time. The dough is still gloopy and will not firm up even after kneading. Reiju said that maybe because of the exoskeleton, their skin are too cold for the fermentation process to start activating.

Yonji is grumpy and asks if this means he can't make bread. Reiju suggest using hot water to warm his skin, but he's already really disgruntled and says that it's so lame that they have to rely on microorganisms to make bread (well, at least he knows yeast is microorganisms, not just another type of flour).

(Note: This part really does not sound right to me, honestly. Maybe this was just meant to show that Reiju and Yonji have zero knowledge in cooking, but bread dough not firming up and gloopy is usually not related to yeast or fermentation, but the gluten. Most cases that I know of are either caused by adding too much water, not enough kneading, the flour itself is not suitable for bread, or even the dough being over fermented. I've never heard of sticky dough problems being caused by hand temperature.)

(Edit: I've discovered that Japanese bread making guides do mention temperature affecting the dough, but it's nevertheless because of the gluten and not the yeast. This one might a goof on the author's side.)

Ichiji gave up fileting the fish because there's bones everywhere. he dumped all the dead fishes he caught back to the sea. Yonji gave up trying to make bread and tossed the failed dough away (and also threw away Reiju's egg attempt even though it was fine :/). Niji can't find any chocolate, so he has nothing.

They can't do anything except wait until they reach Germa and then just go "AAAAAAA FOOODD" (well, they act cool in front of the servants, but still).

Reiju herself showered and got cleaned up first before going to eat. Seeing the poisoned stonefish served, she wondered how normal chefs handle the poisonous ingredients and so she went to the kitchen to ask.

There was a young cook on cleaning duty that immediately panics, but then a senior cook named Beryl came out to answer her questions. Reiju says old lady Beryl has been there for a very long time, even before the kids were born.

Beryl explains that to treat the armoured stonefish to make it safe to eat is to let it swim in a tank with Ruby Wakame seaweed. The seaweed will absorb the toxins and after 3 weeks, the fish will change from purple to blue, and this indicates that the toxins is completely gone and it will be safe to eat.

An easier method would be to just skin the fish and take out the poisonous organs, but fish skin is a delicacy, and so the chefs would do this so they can serve cuts of the fish with the skin attached.

Reiju makes a comment that cooking must be very hard because her brothers are all picky eaters (not just Niji, apparently), but Beryl says she and the other chefs are happy to adjust the prep to make the food palatable to the boys.

"Ichiji-sama dislikes green vegetables, but if you chop it up finely and mix it with meat dishes such as hamburg steaks, he will eat it without noticing."

Reiju: Is he a toddler?

(Note: Dunno if this is a universal thing, but it's a Japanese thing that when toddlers hate vegetables, the parents would chop up vegetables and put it in meatballs or the toddler's other favourite food so that they can get the vegetable nutrients even though the child dislikes the vegetable's taste)

"Niji-sama dislikes things with complex seasonings, so things like the sauces and such has to be made to be very simple to the utmost extent."

Reiju: That's dumb.

"Yonji-sama doesn't like food with dry texture, but if it's served to him when he gets hungry between meal times, he'll usually eat it."

Reiju: Is he a dog?

(Note: There is a section where Reiju muses that the cooks "safeguards" their meals just like how "Germa 66 protect peace". What peace? In the main series they're fine with siding with whoever, as long as they get paid. This comment doesn't make sense unless maybe she was being ironic/sarcastic here.)

Reiju apologised for bothering the cooks at this time, and Beryl then lets slip that Sanji has been to the kitchens often. When Reiju presses further, eventually Beryl reveals that Sora likes to make desserts often. Sora would say that she hoped to someday be able to cook together with her kids.

Hearing this Reiju briefly fantasised baking together with her mother and Sanji. Knowing it's just idle fantasy, though, she thanks Beryl for telling her all these and helping her appreciate cooking more.

Reiju thinks of Sanji and reevaluates her opinions on him. He's not "just" a cook. People's lives are basically in the hands of the cook, especially on long voyages at sea. She is glad that him having a place as a ship's cook means that he's found good friends who rely on him and trust him.

She then transforms, and uses her ability to suck out the poison from the fish, saying that the cooks are welcome to ask her for help to take out the poison if they need to cook with the stonefish.

[redak-ted]

i have more incorrect quotes and its the fruity four + the certified dilf and his traumatized husband

Miles: Man, traffic's a pain in the assssss.

Hobie: Daddy's home!

Gwen: Just call him Bayer, or Bear or something, Daddy is reserves for your mother to use.

Pav: I'm about to have one less girlfriend in a minute.

Miles: This food is too hot… I cant eat it.

Hobie: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.

Everyone at the table: silence

Gwen: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!

Pav: One dinner… I just want ONE DINNER!

[The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake]

Miles: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of… 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake

Hobie: You're in a prison cell :)

Gwen: You did great. Well, I got a 10-

Hobie: You're in a prison cell with bars on it

Pav: I got a 1!

Hobie: You're in… a cube-shaped place.

Miles: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Hobie: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Gwen?

Gwen: Probably “road work ahead”.

Pav: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Miles: Dammit, Hobie!

Hobie: What?! It wasn’t me!

Miles: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Gwen!

Gwen: Not me either.

Miles: Oh…Then who set the house on fire?

Pav: whistles

Miles: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Miles and Hobie, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Gwen: Our turn, Pav! One, two, three- vanilla!

Pav, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Gwen, about Miles: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Hobie: Are we stealing them?

Pav: New or used?

Gwen: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Gwen: Just be yourself.

Hobie: 'Be myself'? Gwen, I have one day to win Miles over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Pav: Couple weeks.

Peter: Six months.

Miguel: Jury’s still out.

Hobie: See, Gwen?

Hobie: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Miles: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Hobie: What if it bites me and it dies?

Gwen: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Hobie, learn to listen.

Pav: What if it bites itself and I die?

Peter: That’s voodoo.

Pav: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Hobie: That’s correlation, not causation.

Miguel: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

Peter: That’s kinky.

Miles: Oh my God.

Miles: Bye Hobie! Bye Gwen! Bye Pav! Bye Peter! Bye Hobie!

Gwen: You said ‘bye Hobie’ twice.

Miles: I like Hobie~

Miles: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!

Pav: To the city?

Miles: Yeah, no matter what!

Peter: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?

Miles: I… I don't know!

Hobie: Oh come off it, be serious!

Miles: I am serious!

Hobie: You're insane!

Gwen: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Everyone:

Miles: What???

Gwen: Or maybe it was a basset hound!

Hobie, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

Miles: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Gwen: 'Prettiest Smile'

Pav: 'Nicest Personality'

Miguel: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Peter: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Miles: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?

Hobie: Nope, absolutely not.

Gwen: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.

Pav: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.

Peter: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.

Miguel: I can't wait to go to your funeral, knowing I could've changed that outcome.

Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’

Miles: Thanks fam!

Hobie: oh no

Gwen: cries I love you too

Pav: Sounds fake but okay

Peter: A flustered mess

Miguel: can i get a refund

[pandorasworkshop]

💀Pick a Poisonous Flower - Pick a Card

Pandorasworkshop

Pick a poisonous flower to find out who's your hidden enemy?

Datura Foxglove Belladonna

Datura

Datura is a hellish plant that can bring about nightmarish hallucinations and dehydrate your body past no return.

Cards: queen of cups, devil, death, king of pentacles, moon, eight of pentacles .

Readings: Be careful of a blonde? women who you may work with or go to school with. She is highly manipulative and has a sweet girl act down to every last detail. She's convinced the people around her of this act as well. This person may be jealous of your success, hard work, talent and patience. They may want to push you out of your position, get you fired in the worst case scenario, get your promotion or steal your light. Be careful not to tell people too much jealous eyes can give you bad luck. Your advice is king of pentacles which means someone in your higher up will help you but first you need to balance yourself. Do not react to anything. I can see this person using your anxiety/depression/paranoia against you. Stay calm and collected. This person is really obsessive. She may even try to take your ideas and pass them off as hers. Make sure things are in writing always. Be very careful. These cards are heavy major arcana.

Signs: rainbows, number 8, magic 8 ball, masquerade mask, growing pains, scones, chai tea, wanting to cut your hair, police sirens, cold beer.

Foxglove

Foxglove is a poisonous plant that it's affects are similar to that of a cardiac arrest. It's called foxgloves because it was thought to be fairies gloves.

Cards: Seven of pentacles, three of cups reversed, nine of swords, nine of cups

Reading: You have a lot of envy for simply being yourself. Someone in your friend group is really jealous of you and may be unintentionally sending you negative energy your way through the evil eye. All the cards in this reading are minor arcana so I feel like this person won't do anything really impactful? Or anything that will make a dent in you. They are jealous of how happy you seem in yourself and how you seem to persevere through things. You have confidence that they don't have and it causes them to be self conscious. Your energy may be picking up on this if you are highly intuitive and it makes you feel worried almost but don't be. Your advice is to cleanse yourself and any gifts you may get and stay protected however you may do that. Your guides got yoy

Signs: gigs, snow, thunderstorms, starting your period, icicles, haunted houses, fairy themed stuff, feeling sick to your stomach, warm cup of tea, brown boots, brown sugar, angel statues.

Belladonna

Belladonna is a poisonous plant that if ingested can cause lethargy and comas if ingested. It got it's name from 'beautiful' and 'woman' because it used to be made into a topical cosmetic foundation and increased pupil size. Obviously this has been out of practice now.

Cards: Three of cups, three of swords, judgement and five of pentacles

Reading: You may have broken someone's heart or broken off a friendship. This person feels veryyy resentful of you. Even if you were just asserting your boundaries. You may actively know this person dislikes you but may not think they are wanting to see your downfall but this person is very much in their emotions and feels very hurt by just your presence. They may try to use your past against you like past trauma, occupations or things you've done when you were younger. They are beating a dead horse and I feel as if this person will get tired of it eventually. They could even be a step sibling? Whoever this person is they can't take no for an answer and aren't the type person you want in your life.

Signs: Romeo and Juliet, Wattpad fanfics, opera, Chocolate cake, crepes, feeling really hungry, parrots, 421, 444, journaling, listening to classical or instrumental music.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

So like I’m taking that,,, Blanche doesn’t take betrayal lightly like,, at all,, givrn how he has killed all of his ex friends, so like would he kill reader if they actually betrayed him like the others?? Like Yves would be there no matter what, you could try to kill him and he would still stick beside you, but with Blanche, I feel like he would ACTUALLY go there given the old “friends” he killed 😭

Tw; murder and death, angst? yandere themes obviously

Unlikely, because he did say that you are his one true friend. So you are special and the only exemption from the rule. He already knew his ex "friends" were playing the slow game to try and use him, it's only when they took a step too far and actually carried out their plan of hurting him (I.e., literally cyberbullying him, stealing his money, using him as a maid and still being an asshole to him), he brings out the brass knuckles and compost bucket.

None of them ever proved themselves to be trustworthy or truly kind from the get-go. Blanche is Yves's brother and that fuckery is genetically passed on, of course his deductive skills will immediately weed out the bad ones no matter how discrete they're trying to be. But instead of nipping the problem in the bud like how his brother would, Blanche would just let it be until it grows and grows to an unbearable degree: it gives him an excuse to pulverize them.

If you were to betray Blanche, you wouldn't get killed at first. Because he's now damn delusional, thinking that you're just so young and naive, you didn't know that this is hurting him. Blanche must guide you through life as an elder, you need him as your eyes, you need him. You still love him and he loves you too, so he would have you sit down and have a serious talk as to why it isn't okay to try and poison the cake he worked so hard on. Or why it isn't okay to just hit him unprovoked until his eye is swollen shut.

Perhaps you're sick? A wormy parasite attacking your brain and causing you to be this unrecognizable monster? It's alright, Blanche will cure you with his herbs and natural remedies. Everything will return to normal and you will enjoy his hugs and kisses again. But that wouldn't be the case most of the time...

Blanche then would start begging, kneeling, clasping, and shaking his hands in front of you as he wept. Pleading you to stop being so cruel towards him, to love him again. What did he do wrong? Why are you doing this to him? All he ever wanted was to be your companion. Please stop, please stop hitting him. Please stop saying all those horrible, horrible things to him. He is so desperate to be loved again, to have your gentle strokes instead of your harsh strikes, Blanche would do anything for you as long as he gets an iota of positive or at least, neutral attention from you.

He would take a good amount of abuse until he became fed up, tired of waiting for you to grow up and stop with your immature behavior. Blanche will be drugging you with one of his herbs, just enough to keep you pliant, but not enough to remove your consciousness. After that, he will show you exactly the fate of his ex friends who hurt him. He will bring you to the rot shed, where you will smell the stench of decomposition and misery.

Blanche will scold and berate with tears rolling down his face. Threatening to turn you into compost if you kept hurting him like this. He didn't want to traumatize you, but you left him no choice. He has to save his beloved friend from themselves, you have to realize that whatever you're doing has consequences.

And if you choose to ignore his final warning... well.

Let's hope you wouldn't mind being preserved into a doll that will never decompose. 'You' would spend eternity in his cottage, eating, cuddling, dancing and sleeping. Just like the good ol' days.

Blanche may have empty eyes and a hollow heart as he held your pristine, lifeless body in his arms as he knitted another sweater for you; he didn't like how you're always so cold to him, literally. But at least you stopped hitting him and calling him hurtful names.

[goayda]

What if… (in a S1 AU where there was no duel and they are all learning to work together) Stede and the crew are discussing a new fuckery for a raid and Roach suggests tricking some other ship’s crew into eating poisoned apples, like in that story Stede read to them the other night, and then steal everything from them. The crew likes it, but Stede is not sure killing with poison is very gentlemanly or kind so he convinces them to change the plan a bit.

Instead of a deadly poison, Roach promises to use something else (They’ll be totally out of it, he assures Stede, we could steal the clothes they’re wearing and they won’t complain) and instead of apples, since they don’t really have much fruit to spare, they will use cookies that they will offer to them while disguised as merchants.

So Roach starts cooking, the crew keeps their eyes on the horizon to see if they can find a target and Stede goes to tell Ed about their plan.

A bit later, though, Izzy, who has been sleeping through the morning because he had the night shift, wakes up and goes to the galley to get himself some coffee and sees some recently made cookies there and they are so tempting! He usually complains loudly about how much food they waste on pastries and cakes, but there is nobody there (Roach must have just gone out) so he takes a few of them because, hell, he is hungry, and he leaves with the cookies and the coffee before anybody can see him.

He gulps everything down quickly because he wants to check the plan for the day with the captains and they also have to talk about restocking soon, but when he goes to the captain’s cabin, Edward is in the middle of one of his stories and Stede doesn’t stop asking questions about it so Izzy just stands there and waits for them to finish.

When they do and they finally remember they were supposed to be talking about something else, Stede turns to Izzy to tell him about the fuckery they are getting ready, but he realizes that the man looks a bit… unwell. When Stede gets closer to ask him if he is alright, Izzy sways and he is about to fall face-first on the floor, but Stede manages to catch him at the last moment and that’s how he finds himself holding the full weight of the man against his chest.

“Soft,” Izzy mumbles while he rubs his face against Stede’s silk shirt. “So soft…”

Edwards laughs so hard at this, but Stede isn’t finding it funny because the first mate, who is clinging to him like a limpet now, is clearly not well. Once Edward stops laughing, though, he reassures Stede that it’s nothing too serious.

“Did you get something to eat from the kitchen today, mate?” Edward asks the first mate, amused. “It looks like Roach has already made those cookies you talked about, Stede.”

And Stede watches in amazement how Izzy blushes and then tries hide his face against his chest.

“How long does the effect of those cookies last, Ed?” Stede asks, still sounding concerned.

“I think we’re about to find out, mate,” Edward replies with a shit-eating grin.

(Then he goes to lock the door of the cabin because, yes, this is so funny, but if the rest of the crew sees Izzy like this and they tease him about it when the man is sobered up again, Izzy will jump overboard and Edward can’t have that.

When he reaches the door, though, Edward hears a loud whine and when he turns around he sees that Izzy is reaching an arm out to him.

“Eddie, don’t go,” Izzy says, pouting.

And Edward chokes on his own spit.)

[hanafubukki]

YES. Honestly, most of my thought about Malleus interacting with baby/child Silver are fluffy, adorable, or just melting. Like. Malleus keeping Lilia a little more late at the castle everyday so young Silver can eat with the Zigvolt family.

Malleus:...hm ? Where is Lilia ?

Guard: Ah ! Lilia-sama just left a few minute ago. He wanted to return home sooner for preparing his son birthday cake.

Malleus: NO !*proceed to teleport himself*

At some point, I think Silver integrity his due to Malleus and the Zigvolt family care and help.

Or like, Malleus finding and reading literally anything he could to learn about human baby. Because he was speechless before the cuteness of Baby Silver squeezing his little hand around his finger.

Malleus:...Lilia. I can't return to the castle. Your son is holding me in hostage. He will wake up if I move.

Lilia: Fufufufu. Don't worry. I sent a bat to Maleficia-sama so she knows you're with me. Keep bonding my boys !

Too much thing about those three dynamic. Even more when we add Sebek. The Diasomnia family just melt my heart. I need sweet and family fluff to forget all the stuff in book 7 :,)

[talking about this post]

AHHHHHH yessss Anonie💕🌷🌺 thank you for this. I love fluffy and sweet Diasomnia especially with Malleus and Silver (especially now with all the angst of book 7)

Malleus out here being a fine future king by protecting his younger brother from poisoning by their father figure 👏👏 we love it!!

I can see Malleus teleporting to the cottage and just:

“Silver! We must leave before he comes!”

And just steals the baby and takes him to the zigvolts or just warns them in advance to not let Lilia know where he took Silver before taking him away 😂😂

YEES OMG YESSS THATS SO SWEET

Malleus doesn’t want to go back to the castle and want to stay and have baby cuddles, and who can blame him, so he makes up every single excuse he can think of to stay 🥹💞

Lilia, of course agrees, the boys in his family are getting along and he just loves having his family so close 🥹🥹💕💕

If we add Sebek, I can see Malleus just grabs the boys and teleports away. No one will suffer from Lilia’s food today 😤

You know what’s funny Anonie?? Silver having the blessing and he just…somehow becomes the poison tester by accident.

For instance:

*Diasomnia eating a meal*

Silver: Oh, this is poisoned.

Everyone else: …

-Everyone realizes it’s *not* Lilia’s cooking-

Everyone: WHAT?!?

*Two Angry Faes proceeds to find the one that dared to poison Silver while Sebek is frantically concerned by Silver’s side*

(Anonie, if you have more, feel free to send them. I love fluff💕🩷🌺)

[who1ssheesh]

Fluff Xanxus promts

From prompt list by @novelbear

Notes: I love his so much I wanted to cry while writing this. He is OOC and I’m not sorry, I truly believe big scary characters have the softest souls.

Warnings: OOC, not proofread at all, English is still not my native language (maybe one day idk I way told you gotta drink a potion for that), sweating as always, a droplet of sadness

⋆ Always giving the other the first bite of their food

You think Xanxus is bitching again. Maybe it’s all about an almost shoe cook for the reason your man himself couldn’t explain, but who could be sure. He is creaking the plate with a fork messing his untouched meal, and you swear to god are trying to be patient.

You mutter under your nose and get back to your phone, leaving Xanxus alone with his mood swings.

Until you feel something touch you cheek - too hot and too good smelling to be his lips or tongue.

“The hell are you doing?”, with a confused gaze you look at Xanxus holding out some steak piece on a fork.

“Shut the fuck up and eat”, he doesn’t sound irritated as usual though, more like…passive. Even calm you could say, but Xanxus is never calm, right?

“Is my man pampering me?”, you cannot help but smile, especially pointing out those words he oh so much likes, and shake your head coquettishly.

“Just making sure my food isn’t poisoned, brat”, Xanxus answers with a slight smirk that doesn’t go past your eyes.

⋆ Keeping a few of their favorite snacks in the house for when they visit

Xanxus is not domestic at all. A bit whiny cat that comes by your house from time time for the longest time. At least that’s what he thinks, after some times you notice ок is around your apartment more times than he is absent, which allows you to find out some of his habits. Sleeping on a specific side for example. The way Xanxus keeps bumping your leg when he wants you attention or…him having the sweetest tooth in the world.

It started with a cheesecake. You didn’t pay much attention, because eating everything in your house and leaving is pretty Xanxus, to be honest here. But then you see that only certain sweets disappear, it feels as if a very big scary bulky mafioso visits you just to steal candies. He, it seems, enjoys something on a lighter side, not too sweet - cakes with fruits for their little sourness, bitter coffee flavored chocolates. He does indeed enjoy pastry and “fancy” patisserie goods but hates caramel, to this day you wonder why.

You have to admit, getting cakes almost on a daily for Xanxus does bite your wallet - just imagine, this almost two meter high thick man eats twice as much, if not trice, as you.

“You like lemon cheesecakes, huh?”, he occasionally asks while passing by. “You ass gonna become fat”, he threatens you with his finger, and you smirk at his humor despite him having a deadpan usual face - you just feel when he is in a frisky mood.

“You like thick ass, don’t you?”

Xanxus barks a laugh in return

“I think I want to try a matcha cake roll from the new bakery nearby”, you nonchalantly add, smugly looking at his broad back.

“I think you want a rosemary lemon one.”

“What makes you think so?”

“Cause you like the taste, idiot”.

You look at Xanxus checking his gun and getting ready to leave and can’t help but smile way too fondly for your liking.

“Yeah, I think you are right”

Xanxus used to have caramels as a child - very rarely, and his poor mother surely tried her best despite her condition to find at least a couple of them hoping to make her son happy just a little. She used to hide them all around their place, and Xanxus didn’t even realize it was her, being proud with his detective work and annoyingly sniffing around. It didn’t feel the same with Nono, maybe the blood and tears spoiling the taste despite the unthinkable about of money his father could and would throw his way. But it’s…funnier with you. Because Xanxus can again play a smiffing all around detective and find a delicious prize there. You are not dumb and certainly catch something with your foxy witty eyes and mischievous smile and jokes here and there but keep playing along. This small game puts Xanxus” torn soul…at ease.

But you shouldn’t know any of that, he will selfishly keep memories of his dear mother to himself the same way he did with those caramels, and sometimes he can feel pouty because you will never understand how much this small gesture from you means to him.

He doesn’t eat caramels though. Brings back bitter memories.

⋆ Kisses. on. the. tip. of. the. nose.

⋆ Zipping or buttoning their jacket for them

Xanxus is already a pain in every place possible and he makes sure he is the biggest one all the time. It’s not easier in the slightest when he is injured and getting angry because of his lack of autonomy.

You look at his swearing - which is feting louder every second - and thin your lips, not sure what to do. Yes, he has said some rude words to you. Yes, you know that your feelings matter, but realizing where Xanxus has his mood come from softens you.

You sigh in defeat, looking at his pathetic attempts to button up his shirt while having one of his arms is broken - even putting in on was a sight to see, to be fair. You don’t say a word and don’t even look up at your partner, buttoning his shirt with a frown but being so delicate, as if you can hurt one of he most dangerous people around.

Xanxus doesn’t object a bit, patiently - which is an achievement for him - waiting for you to finish, and here you both are just silently standing here and not moving anywhere.

You look up at Xanxus and he rolls his eyes in return as if not to look at you on purpose.

Your heart sings just by looking in his eyes and you cannot help but stand on your tiptoes and cup his face. Kissing the tip of his nose, you smile at his wincing face and leave one more kiss. And more. And more. Until you finally leave your butterfly touch on his lips.

⋆ Waiting until they safely reach the front of the door or get inside before driving off

Xanxus has been trying to show he’s serious, starting with driving you himself instead of sending a chauffeur, and you are glad he sis this. Both of you feel comfort in a shared silence, his hand rubbing your hip or even nipping sometimes so you don’t fall asleep, is so hot to the touch it almost burns your skin. Xanxus doesn’t like when you get to your house, because he doesn’t want to let you go, and he doesn’t give a shit you have certain needs…like sleeping at night.

Every time you walk out of the car, he does so too, and you never understand why since he’s not the one to give a hug as a goodbye - making out in the car is pretty much enough.

“Why are you keep standing there when I go home?”, you ask one day.

“Smoking.”

“Okay.”

You get out of the car, and Xanxus does so too again. He puts his hands in his pockets, no cigarettes visible anywhere and knowing his shitty humour you are certain that was one of those dumb jokes.

You go to the building and turn around before entering and you see Xanxus drilling a hole in your back with an intense gaze.

“Hey, my house could be very dangerous too, you never know”, you start, and he lifts his brow. “Maybe you just start staying overnight?”

Xanxus grins.

⋆ Doing their makeup for them

Sleepy Xanxus is a sight to behold. His dve is still wet from the water - he hasn’t even used a towel after washing his face and even cuter you find him unable to even open his eyes, wrinkling his nose and muttering some curses with a hoarse voice.

You cant help but smile and squish his cheeks - non-existent basically because he has pronounced masculine cheekbones but you are she with the amount of candies he is going to get those eventually - and Xanxus growls.

“I will murder your family.”

“Love you too, babe.”

With a loud growl Xanxus buries his nose in your neck while you try to understand how his feather accessory is supposed to be attached to his hair.

You are not sure, but by the time you finish you think he has fallen asleep again. You just kiss the back of his head and entwine your hands around his shoulders.

Before shaking him violently with all the strength you have.

[mzannthropy]

The Count of Monte Cristo limited series Episode 6 thoughts

Luigi Vampa arrives in Paris disguised as an Italian nobleman and the house of Villefort is slowly beginning to shake in its foundations. It's getting emotional here, guys. (Spoilers under the cut.)

The count hosts another dinner party where he introduces a newcomer to Paris, Italian Count Spada. This is no one else but the bandit Luigi Vampa in disguise. The name Spada is of course familiar to the readers of the book; Vampa claims to be a descendant of the very same Spada who hid the treasure from the Borgia pope. He says straight away that he is in Paris to find a wife and at this, Danglars's eyes light up. (So do his wife's, it's in fact her who says "are you thinking what I'm thinking". She doesn't strike me as someone who is greedy, I think it's more like her mindset is, if you can't be happy, at least have money. But then I'm a Hermine Danglars defender.)

During the party, Heloise excuses herself, but it's not the bathroom she goes into, but the count's cabinet of poisons (the same one she was so interested in at the previous party). Haydee follows her and sees her steal a small bottle. She tells the count afterwards and even asks if she did right not stopping her, but the count says it's fine.

Danglars loses no time in fixing a match between his daughter and Count Spada, so he comes to a coffee house? (idk what the place is, some sort of club?), where the fake count and the count of Monte Cristo hang out, with Eugenie and Louise, using that old line "we were just in the neighbourhood". Eugenie, who has not time for any BS, adds that "no we weren't, you specifically wanted to come her for a coffee and cake". She and Louise then go to the piano where Louise plays and Eugenie sings, while count Spada gazes at her with heart eyes. It's fucking hilarious and I'm glad that the series made a good use of Lino Guanciale. (Side note, I don't think I mentioned this, but Vampa's gf does exist in this universe, she was who lured Albert away from his carriage at the carnival in Rome.)

Spada and Monte Cristo come to Danglars's house, where he tries to interest them in investing into railways. Monte Cristo reads the paperwork but Spada just wants to see Eugenie. So he enters her room, where he catches the lady kissing Louise. They quickly spring away from each other, but he's like: "don't stop bc of me", closes the door and sits down. So there you have it, not only are Eugenie and Louise confirmed lesbians, Vampa also supports them.

Marquise de Saint-Meran arrives to witness the signing of Valentine's marriage contract. She's widowed now (presumably the marquis died of natural causes) and is a no-nonsense grandma who loves her granddaughter. I really like her characterisation.

Monte Cristo knows Valentine doesn't want to marry Franz; she likes him, he's a good guy, but her heart belongs to Max. He sets out to help her, bc nobody should be robbed of their love (I don't remember the exact words but it was something along those lines.) It's through Caderousse that he finds out about Noirtier being responsible for General D'Epinay's death. Not sure how Caderousse has all this knowledge, but I suppose having run an inn he would have heard a lot of gossip. Monte Cristo comes to visit Noirtier and has a talk with him (well, not talk but you know what I mean; Valentine tells him how to communicate with her grandad). And so the marriage signing ceremony is interrupted by a written confession (written by Barrois) from Noirtier. Franz reads this and bows out. He remarks that at least he found out his father died in a duel and it was not an assassination.

Heloise poisons the marchioness and frames Valentine for it. Valentine gets arrested. The marchioness planned to leave her whole fortune to Valentine, and Valentine knew it, so that would be a motive. I've not had any major complaints against the show so far, but this seems to me a bit nonsensical: Valentine doesn't even defend herself. Like she says nothing in her defence, not even "I didn't do it". It could be that her father advised her not to say anything, and maybe it will be revealed in the next episode, but it just felt so weird.

Villefort keeps meeting up with Boville, who is able to relay to him that Jacopo visits Caderousse. It's hard to believe Jacopo, a former smuggler, would be that careless not to notice being followed by law enforcement. I can't say yet whether this bad writing, or deliberate choice--maybe Jacopo is getting sloppy, or maybe he's aware that he is being followed and it's part of the plan?

Monte Cristo is at his most Byronic in this episode. "We're worried about you," Isabelle, the maid tells him at breakfast. Apparently the count walks a lot at night and sleeps little. The count tells her he doesn't need much sleep. It's clear, however, that he is going through a lot. I keep forgetting to mention this, but although they didn't include the hashish smoking session, the count does take some drug. He keeps a little bottle on him, and in the time of need, pours a few drops on his hand, which he then licks? I think? If any of you have an idea what this could be, please enlighten me.

One night, when he's up, he hears noise, but it's only Haydee. She asks what will happen to count de Morcerf. Monte Cristo says he is still waiting for a response from the sultan. Haydee points out that Fernand's wife and son are innocent in this, but the count says that they also profited from Fernand's misdeeds.

The count sends Mercedes a gift, which she opens at a breakfast table. It's a pair of earrings; the accompanying card just says "gratitude". Mercedes doesn't want to accept them (bc a married woman accepting a gift from another man is obviously sus) but Albert assures her that the count is just that generous. So she puts them on. Later, Fernand asks about them, he thinks she has been spending money, so she tells him the truth that they were a gift from Monte Cristo. This is when he slaps her.

So I know many of us have not been happy seeing Fernand slap Mercedes in one of the trailers. But I think the way the series builds up to it, it makes sense. Fernand has noticed how the two of them look at each other and he is suspicious. I mean, he's right. It was not right of him to slap his wife, but he is correct about there being something between them. And is it that hard to believe that a guy who had no qualms about framing an innocent man, and who betrayed Ali Pasha, would be capable of slapping his wife? That's my take on it. But I understand if you still have a problem with it.

The count and Mercedes meet in a park, one which neither of them frequents. Mercedes returns the earrings and the count takes them back. This is what I meant when I said it's getting emotional. The scene brings out all the feels, though I was not able to enjoy it very much bc I kept shouting at the screen. I am. Not a fan of the edcedes ship. But as a scene between two people who once loved each other, but have gone through a lot since, it was flawless.

I worried at first that this show will focus too much on Mercedes but it hasn't. Sure, the count is still hung up on her but that's canon. Let's see what the last 2 episodes will bring.

[mcyt-trios]

The winner of this poll will go on to face Schlatt & co. (Jschlatt, ConnorEatsPants, IAmTy)

PROPAGANDA:

Chaos Siblings:

Hi, sschaos here. If i say please will you think kindly of me? I hope so, i love tumblr polls. Me and my two siblings by memes are pretty iconic what with the whole "i dont know whats going on but I guess adopting this eldritch being from the void as my dad" vibe

The Chaos family started as a mini story from ssChaos. A family that spanned across time and space, all connected to a single parent figure who is described as the run off energy created from personifying ideas (like chaos). Every Chaos is a sibling to eachother, which allows for the unique moment of hearing someones last name and just shrugging and accepting a new family member. On Alliance SMP, Saturn is a mad fea scientist who is heavly implied to be at fault for the previous queens death. They care deeply for Ash, who claims to have never met Saturn before. Ash is a necromancer fea who has been living with the humans after an unknown event. The only living human of the Chaos siblings is Serenity Chaos (ssChaos) who runs a museum of oddities and weirdness. Serenity has a bad habit of sticking her nose where it does not belong and having "sticky fingers" (stealing anything that she can pick up). Which has caused her to get repeatably cursed. When Saturn found out about Chaos no longer being able to see glass due to stealing emeralds, Saturn laughed. Serenity is largely unbothered by these things due to them "being funny" Ash Chaos and Saturn once had a picknick together where there was many deaths and mayham. Nothing was destroyed though talks of becoming comic book villains and taking over the world. This has not happened though Saturn and Serenity are on track to accidently destroying the fea monarchy, again.

Fruit Trio:

They are both so silly and so tragic. Trapped in the maze, they bond over having fruit related names and become friends and they're so fun together, until UH OH I mean how many of the trios on here had one member of them kill the other two? That's pretty cool... *Starts crying*

3 amnesiacs in a maze. 2 have horns one doesn't. They build a cheese cake factory together. They make pie together. The joke is, Apo sounds like apple. Owen is orange. and Rasbii is similar to raspberry. so their named after fruits and its all really cute and sweet. UNTIL APO PULLS A LEVER THAT KILLS HALF A CLEARING AND LIES TO BOTH OF THEM! And then when they do find out they exile him and go by fruit duo but it doesn't stick. Apo escapes prison and into the maze. Rasbi becomes paranoid someone in the clearing is out to kill her and isolates herself. Owen is trying to lead everyone and failing every chance he gets. they find a skull with Apo's horns and mourn. a year later Owen returns to the maze after someone told him there is a chance Apo might be alive. He finds Apo! And then gets all his memories back. Including ones about killing Rasbii's sister! He then KILLS APO. BECAUSE APPARENTLY HE THINKS ALL DEMONS ARE EVIL. AND THEN GOES BACK TO THE CLEARING AND KILLS RASBII. But she does get to stab him with a poisoned wooden spike. Owen then gets found for his crimes after killing more demons and is forced to have lava rise from the ground up as hes locked in the same prison Apo was. In his final moments he heard and felt memories of his time spent with his best friends before taking his final breath. None of them escaped the maze. Truly the most tragic of trios. Also outsiders smp is really cool.

[sophios-draws]

untitled fic

rattmann pov. set in my au in which he goes into cryosleep after p1 and is woken up by glados post-p2

(539 words)

After what must have been several days of constant, laborious testing, it ends. Upon completing the last chamber the doors open to reveal a hallway, instead of the usual elevator. I heft the portal gun in my sore arms and step into the hall. I don’t contemplate whether this is a good choice. She would not leave room for choice. I jump at the sound of a wall sealing off the entrance behind me. The hallway is short and closed on both ends, like a shipping container. And like a shipping container, I feel it rise and spin in transit. I brace myself against the wall. Then it stops. One end of the container-hallway swings inward to reveal a room. I stumble blindly towards it. A slight misalignment in the floor between the hall and the room causes me to trip and fall. The portal gun clatters on polished linoleum.  “Don’t drop that. The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device is difficult and expensive to repair. And we’ve been running short on technicians.” Of course. Her. I look up to see two glowing yellow eyes searing into mine. She is standing next to Chell, who is also staring at me, but with a much softer gaze. I scramble back onto my feet and assess my surroundings. The room appears to be an office turned into a makeshift dining room, with a cluster of pushed-together desks surrounded by chairs.  And then it’s my turn to stare. Because on the table, there is a cake. My first thought is that it is poisoned. That idea is promptly rejected, seeing Chell has already helped herself to a slice, frosting smeared across her lip. It is a priority of Hers to keep Chell alive and well.(Was that not my priority, too?) “This cake wasn’t supposed to be for you; it was her idea to bring you here. So go on, steal the fruits of my labor. Which you don’t deserve.” Chell glances at me apologetically and motions to a chair. I place the portal gun on the table and all-but collapse in my seat. With the adrenal vapors wearing off, I can feel my appetite returning.  I’m so, so hungry. Chell tentatively hands me a slice on a paper plate. I cannot resist. Using my grimy hands, I scarf down the cake without a word. Perhaps it is just my extreme hunger, but the cake tastes heavenly. The layers are soft and spongy, the frosting not too sweet, and the cherry filling can only be described as perfect. My eyes well up with tears. I hastily blink them away, but a few manage to escape down my cheeks. I expect Her to throw some rude remark at me, but She just continues to watch in silence. My animalistic hunger is momentarily mollified enough for my thoughts to return to Her.  It is a ridiculous idea that She would have any interest in a human activity such as baking (especially without the ability to eat). We programmed the Intelligence Core to recite a cake recipe for this reason. It was useless information to Her. Yet here I am, gorging myself on a real cake that (supposedly) She Herself made.  For Chell. Just for Chell.

[thealphavoidofficial]

Ok finished Crimson Velvets Ref for the CRK Swap Au :3

Lore:

Instead of going alone, White Lilly had convinced Pure Vanilla to come along with her to the Witches Banquet, only to uncover the horrifying truth of their existence, seeing White Lily was about to fall Pure Vanilla pulls her away from the edge, causing him to fall into the Ultimate Dough instead of her, causing Pure Vanilla to be split in 2, creating Crimson Velvet.

After being sealed after the Dark Flour War, Pure Vanilla, the good half, was teleported to Beast-Yeast in a comatose state, where he was found by the Faeries, and where his body was out inside of the Silver Coffin to preserve his body and prevent to from going Stale until he wakes once more.

Meanwhile Crimson Velvet, the bad half, was sealed within a Moonstone at the BlueBerry academy via Dark Moon Magic cast by both White Lily and Pure Vanilla, still waiting to this day to be freed…….until he finally was by a certain batch of young Cookies.

Personality wise he is very manipulative, deceptive and power-hungry.

Relationships:

Strawberry Cookie - Trust: his most trusted servant and right hand, can trust her with secretive information, knowing she will not tell a soul.

“I would trust you with my darkest of secrets my faithful servant”

Custard Cookie III - Family: finding him alone at such a young age Crimson Velvet took him in, seeing he was to soft towards enemies he had found and given him the StrawBerry Jam sword in order to ‘toughen him up’, and although he will never admit it, he has a soft spot for him.

“Your going to soft in them, you need to toughen up if your going to survive, make me proud child”

Chilly Pepper Cookie - Family: Finding her at a young age he had caught her attempting to steal from him, impressed by her stealth, having no one ever sneak up on him like that before, he had decided to take her under his wing, he had modified her body with Cake Parts in order to help her be better equipped to take on larger foes with both Stealth and strength.

“Your stealth impresses me to no end Child, but every dog has it’s day”

Wizard Cookie - Trust: Recruited him after finding him using Lightning spells in the woods, impressed by his magical abilities asked if he would like to join him, and of course, excited to actually be getting Magical training, accepted.

“I promise to teach you what those fools never could”

Poison Mushroom Cookie - Tension: found him wandering the woods alone, and needing more minions he recruited him, he now starting to see the error of that decision.

“If you continue to poison my minions I will have no choice but to deal with you myself”

White Lily - Rival: Has a strong resentment towards her, he may not be Pure Vanilla but he still believes that it should have been her who fell in the Ultimate Dough instead of him.

“It should have been you…”

Gingerbrave and Co - Tension: He believes that they are nothing more then immature Freshly bakes Cookies who have no chance at stopping him, though did attempt to to convince Gingerbrave to join the ‘winning side’.

“I can sense great Pain and darkness in your heart young one…….Feed it…..embrace it……Use it, I can assure you it will come in handy one day”