#white santa | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

foldingfittedsheets · 11 months ago

Text

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".

#ffs foibles #funny #story #writing #story time #sex shop #retail #funny story #20lb ass #white whale #Santa

50K notes · View notes

christmasxmas · 2 months ago

Text

8K notes · View notes

bluegiragi · 27 days ago

Text

charmed.

early access + nsfw on patreon

#price getting miffed that a child thought he was santa as if he didn't knowingly go out in public in a red and white jacket...#btw i know price calls gaz a brat in this but i hc gaz as in his late 20s early 30s #hes very much an adult he just likes to rag on price's age #pricegaz #cod mw2 #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #giragi art #xmas 2024

4K notes · View notes

dirigibleplumbing · 19 days ago

Text

if you love Christmas but also want to be kind and inclusive toward people who don't, or simply don't celebrate, here's my #1 tip.

stop lying about Christmas.

if the only "holiday" your holiday party includes is Christmas, call it a Christmas party.

if your "holiday" fandom event only uses Santa and Christmas graphics and is centered around the date of Christmas, call it a Christmas event (that is, presumably, open to non Christmas-celebrating fans).

if your "holiday" fic recs only contain Christmas fic, call it a Christmas rec list.

#posts I created #happily I have only seen holiday fic recs this year that incude non xmas holidays :)#the most egregious one is every office 'holiday' party I've attended #or how my office once did a 'secret santa' event #and I noped out since I don't celebrate xmas #so they called it a 'white elephant' event instead and made involvement mandatory!#fandom #the war on christmas #war on christmas #inclusion #jumblr

2K notes · View notes

grungebutsoft · 1 year ago

Text

Once when my mom was a teenager in rural Nebraska, she accidentally bought a Black Santa ornament and decided to put him on the Christmas tree next to their white Santa.

My grandma saw her hanging it up and said, “Kelli, what are you doing to our tree?”

And my mom replied, “Making it multicultural.”

Grandma let her put it on the tree.

#short story #story time #diversity #she told me herself #i’m still not over the fact that she casually said she was making the tree multicultural #black santa #white santa #it’s a small world #RURAL NEBRASKA

1 note · View note

gouinisme · 2 years ago

Text

#signed a former muslim in a mostly muslim area who didnt know people were actually taught that santa existed for the longest time #throwback to the time our white primary school teacher asked what we wanted from santa claus and we were all like. ma'am what do you mean #santa's not real did you think santa was real?#and she had to try her best to protect the like 2 white kids in the class from learning santa doesnt exist #poll #christmas

14K notes · View notes

chaeryeos · 1 month ago

Text