#whisks dad

[trippin-chippin]

Daniel Crownroyal…

Low key kinda proud of this

[bunnieswithknives]

Dev this is serious stop beatboxing.

[roseetube]

art dump #14!! Steven on hw aus are eating me alive/pos

@pogostikk been thinking abt your sillies again :333

[kittysquire]

Aira needs cooking classes…

We had a laugh with my friends @mellifloss and @smallermangoes as we imagined Aira cutting cucumber like Kendall Jenner (since he probably has very little cooking experience), but he wants to help out.. 🥹

[the-angst-chronicles-fanworks]

A very unstructured idea, brought to you by Eddie being 17 on his missing poster

Eddie who is *always* pulling the age card. “As the oldest, I’m in charge”, “Respect your elders”, “you’ll understand when you’re my age” etc. But the whole time he’s 17, and the youngest of the fruity four.

The others eventually learning his real age (from Wayne, by accident. Wayne didn’t realize his hooligan nephew was pretending to be 20 to all his friends)

Steve never letting him live it down after leaving the truth. On finding out he dramatically laments that they have to break up because he can’t be a cradle robber. He starts doing the “as the adult in the room” bit back at Eddie and teasing asking if Eddie needs him to cut the crusts off his sandwiches, etc.

(Eddie don’t take long to start making daddy jokes back at Steve, which works to shut him up because he gets very flustered)

Corroded coffin also teasing Eddie about being young once they find out. Gareth is still younger than him. It doesn’t stop the teasing in the slightest

For the rest of their lives whenever he has disagreements with any of his older friends Eddie still grumbles “I miss when I was older than you”

[synthient]

got an embarrassment of "gay 80s fantasy novels with fantastic 80s-pulp covers" riches in the nightstand stack atm

[landfilloftrash]

I had a thought while making tea and now I’m just. Girl help.

I have concluded I am simply too soft (I consider N/PCs feelings too critically) to go as hard as I wish to on some characterizations

[skrunksthatwunk]

household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight

[felidthing]

why the fuck did my dad choose to make his kids homeless but let us use as much data as we needed/wanted and let my brother keep using his hand me down car and paying for his gas and let me keep using his card info to refill my orca card. i still think about it bc that whole situation was so fucked and weird and confusing. he refused to consider going halvsies on rent for an apartment and made us live in a shelter/car only for me to check myself into a psych ward and stay there for 2 and a half months and go back to the shelter again until i texted him about how bad everything was and THEN he paid for my rent for a bedroom in a house. i hate my parents and i hate relying on them financially. i literally Need them still because of Money. i lived in that house for 9 months and then i got into college with my parents paying for everything and me just signing up to pay back loans. my dad said i should go for the unlimited meal plan and pays for it. he gave me $200 every month for personal expenses. and now hes paying my rent and bills in full again for an apartment until i move back to school which he will continue paying for. why were you so fucking quick to kick me out of your house with 20 minutes notice

[dulcewrites]

This photo is kind of unnerved coded 🤨🤨🤨 Martina Fačková ate!

[trippin-chippin]

Daniel laying there after getting beaten up by Mr Bailey

[marimayscarlett]

It's decided, Richard is the local friendly vampire lord, interested in the villager's well-being, charming to all the ladies of the village and would ask them about the newest beauty tips, is really intently listening to the problems of the farmers, encourages artists and musicians of the villages, would host garden parties and cozy dinners at his castle, would visit the local school and host a kid friendly q&a about vampires, you need some shoulder to cry on or feel down? Do not fret, Lord Kruspe is here to give you bone crushing hugs (quite literally if he isn't careful enough with his vampire strength) and share his century old life experiences just to make you feel better 😌

you know it really isnt immoral, if you do it right, to raise cows and sheep for meat. so. well. i think there should be a story about, vampires who have a town of humans that they keep well-maintained, so long as the humans donate their blood once a month, like vampire blood farm stuff

but instead of antagonistic everyone's like. no he's a nice man you leave the count alone. he keeps us safe and cared for and he just needs a lil snack now and then, it dont hurt anyone. like a cow that loves the farmer and the farmer that loves the cow, even with both knowing one will end up on the other's table. because its like. its like. cows just have such pretty eyes, you know? they love you so much. i think it should be like that

[creepyclothdoll]

The Devil's Wheel

The Devil’s Wheel

“If you say yes,” said the Devil, “a single man, somewhere in the world, will be killed on the spot. But three million dollars is nothing to sneeze at, missus.”

“What’s the catch?” You squint at him suspiciously over the red-and-black striped carnival booth. You’re smarter than he thinks you are– a devil deal always has a catch, and you’re determined to catch him before he catches you. 

“Well, the catch is that you’ll know you did it. And I’ll know, too. And the big man upstairs’ll know, I ‘spose. But what’s the chariot of salvation without a little sin to grease the wheels? You can repent from your mansion balcony, looking out at your waterfront views, sipping a bellini in your eighties. But hey, it’s up to you– take my deal or leave it.”

The Devil lights a cigar without a match, taking an inhale, and blowing out a cloud of deep, sweet-smelling tobacco laced faintly with something that reminds you of rotten eggs. If he does have horns, they’re hidden under his lemon yellow carnival barker hat. He wears a clean pinstripe suit and a red bowtie. No cloven hooves, no big pointy fork, but you know he’s the Devil without having to be told. Though he did introduce himself.

He’s been perfectly polite. 

You know you need the money. He knows it too, or he wouldn’t have brought you here, to this strange dark room, whisking you away from your new house in the suburbs as fast as a wish. Now you’re in some sort of warehouse, where all the windows seem to be blacked out– or, maybe, they simply look out into pitch darkness, though it is the middle of the day. A single white spotlight shines down on the two of you. 

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” you say. “I bet the man is someone I know, right? My husband?”

“Could be,” the Devil says with a pointed grin. “That’s for the wheel to decide.”

He steps back and raises his black-gloved hand as the tarp flies off of the large veiled object behind him. The light of the carnival wheel nearly blinds you. Blinking lights line the sides. Jingling music blares over speakers you can’t see. The flickering sign above it reads:

THE DEVIL’S WHEEL

“Step right up and claim your fortune,” the Devil barks. “Spin the wheel and pay the price! Or leave now, and a man keeps his life.”

You examine the wheel. 

The gambling addict

The doting boyfriend

The escaped convict

The dog dad

The secretive sadist

“These are all the possible men I can kill?” You ask, thumbing the side of the wheel. It rolls smoothly in your hand. Then you quickly stop, realizing that this might constitute a spin under the Devil’s rules. He flashes a smile at you, watching you halt its motion. 

“Addicts, convicts, murderers– plenty of terrible options for you to land on, missus!”

“Serial wife murderer?”

“Now who would miss a fellow like that? I can guarantee that the whole world would be better off without him in it, and that’s a fact.”

The hard worker

The compulsive liar

The animal torturer

The widower

The desperate businessman

The failed musician

The beloved son

“My husband is on here too,” you say. 

“Your husband Dave, yes. The wheel has to be fair, otherwise there’s simply no stakes.”

“I know what’s gonna happen,” you say, crossing your arms. “This wheel is rigged. I’m gonna spin it around, and it’ll go through all the killers and stuff, and then it’s gonna land on my husband no matter what.”

“Why, I would never disgrace the wheel that way,” the Devil says, wounded. “I swear on my own mother’s grave– may she never escape it. In fact, take one free spin, just to test it out! This one’s on me, no death, no dollars.”

You cautiously reach up to the top of the wheel and feel its heaviness in your hand. The weight of hundreds of lives. But also, millions of dollars. You pull the wheel down and let it go.

Clackity-clackity-clackity-clackity

Round and round it goes. 

The college graduate

The hockey fan

The Eagle Scout

The cold older brother

The charming younger brother

The two-faced middle child

The perfectionist

The slob 

Your husband Dave

Clackity-clackity-clackity.

Finally, the wheel lands on a name. A title, really.

The photographer

“Hmm, tough, missus, but that’s the way of the wheel. But hey, look! Your husband is allllll the way over here,” he points with his cane to the very bottom of the wheel, all the way on the other side from where the arrow landed. “As you can see, it’s not rigged. The wheel truly is random.”

“So… there really isn’t another catch?” You ask. 

“Isn’t it enough for you to end a man’s life? You need a steeper price? If you’re really such a glutton for punishment, I’ll gladly re-negotiate the terms.”

“No, no… wait.” You examine the wheel, glancing between it and the Devil.

You really could use that three million dollars. Newly married, new house, you and your husband’s combined debt– those student loans really follow you around. He’s quite a bit older than you, and even he hasn’t paid them off yet, to the point where the whole time you were dating you watched him stress out about money. You had to have a small, budget wedding, and a small, budget honeymoon. Three million dollars could be big for the two of you. You could re-do your honeymoon and go somewhere nice, like Hawaii, instead of just taking two weeks in Atlantic City. You deserve it. 

Even so, do you really want to kill an innocent photographer? Or an innocent seasonal allergy sufferer? Or an innocent blogger? Just because you don’t know or love these people doesn’t mean that someone doesn’t. 

The cancer survivor

The bereaved

The applicant

Some of these were so vague. They could be anyone, honestly. Your neighbors, your father, your friends…

The newlywed

The ex-gifted kid

The uncle

The Badgers fan

“My husband is a Badgers fan,” you say.

“How lovely,” the Devil says. 

Then it hits you.

Of course.

The weightlifter.

The careful driver.

The manager.

The claustrophobe.

Your husband Dave lifts weights at the gym twice a month. You wouldn’t call him a pro, but he does it. He also drives like he’s got a bowl of hot soup in his lap all the time, because he’s afraid of being pulled over. He just got promoted to management at his company, and he takes the stairs to his seventh-story office because he hates how small and cramped the elevator is.

“I get your game,” you announce. “You thought you could get me, but I figured you out, jackass!” “Oh really? What is my game, pray tell?” The Devil responds, leaning against his cane.

“All these different titles– they’re all just different ways to describe the same guy. My husband isn’t one notch on the wheel, he’s every notch. No matter what I land on, Dave dies. I’m wise to your tricks!” 

The Devil cackles. 

“You’re a clever one, that’s for sure. I thought you’d never figure it out.”

“Thanks but no thanks, man,” you say with a triumphant smirk. “I’m no rube. No deal. Take me back home.”

“As you wish, missus,” the Devil says. He snaps his fingers, and you’re gone, back to your brand-new house with your new husband. “Don’t say I never tried to help anyone.”

[lulu-spooks]

The female urge to have a kitchen with a door that locks from the inside so that no one can come in while I’m cooking

[gojocon-main]

satoru playing into the whole super dad role, wearing a baby carrier everywhere and mindlessly letting your teething baby chew and slobber all over the tip of his finger to soothe her itty bitty aches. unable to keep his precious baby girl out of sight for a second, barely allowing you to lift a damn finger in the middle of the night as your daughter’s cries rouse the both of you from slumber. sure, satoru slacked off on plenty of things but never when it came to his princess. her diapers full? he was already changing it. breast milk was taking some time to come in? not a problem, he’ll feed her using formula. a sudden sneeze? she must have caught a cold. needless to say, he would do anything for his little girl. he was always on alert, having conditioned himself to sleep only a few hours even before the baby was born due to his demanding work schedule. and although you appreciated his consistent efforts and the lengths at which he was willing to go to prove himself a good father — though you knew he would be from the start and he’d done just about enough even while you were pregnant — you would like to spend at least an hour with your baby before she inevitably got whisked away by your husband. but no matter how many times you tried to reason with him that you were completely capable of taking care of the child you birthed for just one night, he’d readily refuse. you’d spent nine months nourishing and caring for his little one in your tummy, and now it was his turn.

[creatrixanimi]

My dad also lol

the world is so beautiful