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smilesrobotlover · 27 days ago

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Whumptober day 16- wound cleaning

I’ve been excited to share this one :) hope y’all like it

Warnings for a concussion and violent emotions

~~~~~

He was used to crowds of people watching him, laughing and cheering whenever he did something to exceed their expectations. The children that giggled as they watched him do his performance was always a sound he was used to, and in the beginning, he loved it. He loved being around children, enjoying their sweet, innocent minds, the way they saw whimsy in the world despite it being so evil, and it almost healed him from everything that happened to him at their age.

But now it was suffocating.

Creating puppets that danced around suddenly became insulting as he realized the true power he held; entertaining children and adults became stale and a waste of his time. He stopped finding joy in it, and now only desired power—power to keep the innocent children he used to love safe from people who wished them harm.

Yet the universe seemed to work against him, no matter how hard he tried. The heroes were working against him, and now these men—the strangers across eras—were working against him. They didn’t understand what he was trying to do though; they didn’t know the true evil that was in the world! He wanted to explain it to them, but he didn’t want to share some deep and personal things about himself to get them to understand.

They’d never understand anyways, who would? No one ever did.

“Hey, Seth.”

He looked up to see his fellow performer walking towards him, finishing yet another show in the mountains. His close friend, Dalton, was a phenomenal story teller, and narrated the stories he performed. Dalton was one of the reasons why he still did the performances, not wanting to worry him with his plans. But he wasn’t in the mood to talk to him right now; his head was aching from where that blasted Rito hit him, and the scratch marks on his face stung. He’d rather go somewhere else to rest, but Dalton wasn’t going to let him leave, clearly.

“Is everything alright? You seemed…. out of it back there,” he said, moving his head to get a better look at him, but Seth made sure to wear a veil to hide the scratch marks on his face.

“I’m fine. I’m just tired,” he muttered, hoping to get some alone time, but Dalton stopped him.

“Well, how about we head over to the Fallen Feather Inn? I hear they have good food there.”

He was hesitant, but was too tired to argue. Perhaps eating with his friend would help him clear his head. He’s been alone for a while now.

The two bid their farewells to the rest of the group and headed to the inn, which was on the other side of the village where they performed. The restaurant in the inn was crowded, probably due to the performance, but they were able to get a table quickly. Dalton sat across him, smiling his warm smile as he watched the people around him.

“I can’t believe how many people showed up here just for us!” He commented, watching a goron struggle to move through the crowd. “It’s almost flattering, don’t you think?”

He said nothing, and Dalton frowned.

“Why do you still have your veil on? We’re not performing.”

He paused, not wanting Dalton to see his face. There was going to be fussing and scolding and other things that he was not in the mood for. But he supposed he couldn’t hide it forever, he knew that. Dalton stared at him, his large brown eyes filled with worry and he finally sighed—best to get it over with.

Dalton gasped when Seth removed the veil, and he immediately grabbed a napkin and began dipping it in water.

“Goddesses, Seth! What happened to you?”

“It was just an accident,” he replied simply, not stopping him from dabbing the damp cloth against the scratches. It stung, but Dalton was gentle enough, his brow furrowed as he dabbed up the blood.

“I knew you going up the mountains by yourself wasn’t a good idea,” he said, moving the rag around so the clean side would touch his wound. “This might scar.”

“It’ll be fine. It’s just a scar.”

Dalton smiled and set the rag down, letting out a sigh. “Well, I’m glad whatever that was didn’t hit your eye.”

He nodded, avoiding eye contact. Dalton was silent for a moment, his brown eyes continuing to stare, as if waiting for him to say something, but he finally gave up and went back to people-watching. It was silent for a long moment, until Dalton spoke up again, a teasing grin on his face.

“How’s you and your lady friend? Hope things are going well?”

“I—things are fine.”

“That’s great! I hope you guys don’t elope, I’d hate missing out on being your best man!”

Seth couldn’t hold back the smile. “We’ve only seen each other for a month.”

“Yes, but… you know… anything could happen! I thought I wasn’t gonna marry my wife but here we are!”

He smiled again. Dalton’s wedding was beautiful, and he was so grateful to be a part of it. He wished life was like that again, just… full of joy. But he had more important things to worry about now.

“I don’t think there will be a wedding,” he said, and Dalton sighed.

“Aw, you don’t think it’s working out?”

“It’s… complicated.”

Dalton frowned, but he glanced up at a person who walked up to them and smiled. “Hello!”

He glanced up as well, and felt his heart leap to his throat.

“Hey, what can I get for you two?” The short man asked, his long, curly brown hair tied back and his dark eyes watching them.

Benji.

They were here, the men were here! Seth scanned the restaurant, spotting Leon yelling at a man and Linebeck walking through the crowds of people. Panic settled in, and he instinctively covered his face with the veil, pretending to look at the menu. Goddesses they were here.

But…why were they here? What were they doing waiting tables? He killed one of them, didn’t he? Seth glanced at where Leon stood, his arm in front of a young woman while he yelled at a screaming customer. He… didn’t look like he was mourning… did…

Did Rusl survive?

“Seth.”

He looked up, seeing Dalton and Benji staring at him. Dalton’s head was tilted and he had a forced smile on his face, while Benj had a blank expression. Did he recognize him? No… he doesn’t know what he looks like under the mask. There’s no way. Yet anxiety gnawed at his insides as Benji stared, almost as if he could see right through him.

“I—I’ll just have whatever you’re having,” he mumbled, and Benji leaned forward.

“What was that?”

“I-I–”

“He’ll have what I’m having,” Dalton answered for him, and Benji nodded, walking away. It was silent for a moment before Dalton turned to him, a worried expression on his face. “What’s wrong? You seem nervous all of the sudden?”

Seth turned away, glaring. “Nothing, I’m just not hungry.”

“Really? Then why’d you get what I got? I ordered a lot of food.”

He said nothing, and kept glancing at the men that have been tormenting him for weeks. They were all too chipper for their friend who died a week ago. Anger bubbled in his chest as he realized that his plan to get rid of them was crumbling in his hands, dripping through his fingers like the sands in the desert. Rusl must’ve survived, there was no other explanation. Why couldn’t they just die?

Dalton began striking up conversation again, but he stopped listening. Most likely they didn’t know that he was here, which meant that he could ambush them and finally be rid of them. Yes, things were perhaps looking up for him finally.

He just needed to find out where they were staying, and then he would strike.

~~~~~

It was dead silent as he walked carefully around the building, the only light available being the moon and the stars. Everyone was fast asleep except for him, allowing him to use his training to be in and out in seconds. There were perks to being raised Sheikah he supposed.

He discovered that the men were on the third floor right next to a wall, which was inconvenient, but nothing he couldn’t handle. With one quick jump, he was able to climb to the top and carefully open the window. He took pride in that fact that he made no noise as the window opened, and he quietly jumped inside, his boots barely making a sound against the carpet. His breathing was soft and quiet, and any loud breath was muffled by his mask, making him as quiet as the night. To his relief, he was in the correct room, with Leon and Benji asleep near the couch. He could’ve killed them right then and there, but he was admittedly curious about something, and he instead turned to one of the rooms.

Very carefully, he opened the door, stopping when he heard snoring coming from the armchair in the corner. There rested Talon, who was laid back in the chair, which looked to be uncomfortable, but he supposed it was comfortable enough to sleep in it. But what caught his eye was the blasted Ordonian, resting in the bed with his arm in a sling, his eyes closed and softly snoring, and looking very much alive.

He clenched his fists in anger. His plan was perfect—perfect! He was to control either Rusl or Leon for their sword skills and then use them to kill the others! If not, he’d at least be able to kill them! How could such a foolproof plan fail? How could he survive?

Seth brought out the knife hidden in his belt, moving carefully across the room to where Rusl laid, and he lifted it above his head. He was going to end this once and for all.

But before he could bring the dagger down on Rusl’s throat, something hit the back of his head, and he stumbled forward before falling unconscious, the pain being the last thing he felt.

And then he awoke, his hands tied behind his back and Leon and Benji watching him with furious looks on their faces. They were out in the living room again, this time with a candle lit, and Seth found himself tied to a stand that at least kept him in place. His mask was spotted sitting on the couch, and any weapon he had was stripped off of him. He blinked a few times to clear his head, and he looked up at the two, glaring.

“I knew it,” Benji growled, not moving. “I knew it was you, puppeteer.”

“What gave me away?” Seth asked, his words slurred slightly.

“That stupid headpiece of yours! You think I wouldn’t recognize it even with your hair down?”

Seth blinked, realization hitting him. The moon headpiece he always wore was a gift from Dalton when they first started performing. Dalton had the Sun, while he had the moon. He never thought to take it off.

Goddesses, how could he be so foolish?

“I see,” was all he said, and Leon stepped up, his sword drawn.

“Did you come here to finish the job then? To undo all the hard work we did to heal Rusl?” He asked, his voice as sharp as his blade.

“Of course I did,” Seth said coolly. “But I see that I made a mistake and was caught in the act. I guess he escapes death once again. You all do.”

Leon suddenly lunged at him, grabbing a fistful of his clothes and pulling him close, their noses inches apart.

“You’re sick, you know that?” He seethed. “All you have done is cause us pain and suffering, and I’m tired of it! I’m tired of you!”

Seth didn’t react, and instead he stared straight into Leon’s blue eyes, fury dripping off of them as if they’d kill Seth right then and there.

“What are you going to do then?” He asked, testing Leon’s limits. The man simply pressed his blade up against Seth’s throat, closing the gap between them where he could feel his breath.

“I’m ending this,” he simply said, readying his hand to slit his throat. But Seth only laughed, shaking his head.

“You’re all too slow.”

He finished untying the knot around his wrists and he kicked Leon in the neck, sending him flying back into the couch. In one motion, he rolled back and pushed himself up with his arms, kicking off the wall and leaping over the couch, grabbing his mask.

“Wait—“ Benji shouted, but he was cut off when Seth kicked him in his teeth, sending him to the ground. He would’ve done more, but the door to the other room was torn open, with Ammon on the other side holding his sword.

Seth was too exposed, too weak, too unprepared to fight against them all. He needed to retreat.

Without giving Ammon the chance to attack, Seth teleported, disappearing in a cloud of smoke before reappearing outside under the window. He stumbled, his head stinging worse than before, but he somehow found the momentum to run away from the inn despite stumbling like a drunkard from the path.

It was humiliating, admitting defeat like this, but he didn’t know what else he could’ve done, he was too vulnerable and injured to commit to such a battle. But by the goddesses, he was not going to let them get away with it.

He was going to make them pay for everything.

~~~~

The town was quiet that early morning, with only a few people doing errands and chores, but Seth paid them no mind as he marched to the inn, with the village guards following closeby.

He barged right in, ignoring the young woman who went to greet him, and he marched up to the innkeeper, who looked surprised to see them.

“Oh, hello,” she greeted, putting a letter in her apron. “What can I do for ya boys?”

“Some men staying here assaulted me, so they’re here to arrest them,” Seth simply answered, pointing to the two guards. The innkeeper frowned and leaned against the wall.

“Who?”

“Your servers,” he said, “they were staying here on the third floor.”

She paused. “They weren’t stayin’ here, you got the wrong folks, honey.”

Seth glared. “No, I have the right ones. The servers you had yesterday: the short brown haired man, the tall brown haired man, and the golden haired? They were here, at the third floor where they held me hostage!”

“I’m sorry to hear that honey, but they weren’t stayin’ here. I don’t know where they were stayin’, but it’s not my business to know where my employees are—“

“You’re obviously covering for them!” Seth snapped. He turned to the guards who looked mildly uncomfortable. “Search the room! I know exactly where they are!”

He ignored the innkeeper’s protests and marched right to the stairs, leading the guards to the room on the very top floor. The guards checked the door before beginning to ram it, but the innkeeper stopped them.

“Hey! At least let me open it the way it’s supposed to!” She yelled, pushing her way through and unlocking the door. “Goddesses, do ya know how much these doors cost? It would set me back having to replace one!” The door unlocked and she swung it open. Seth barged in, only to stop dead in his tracks.

The room was completely empty. The living room, the two bedrooms, all void of people; it didn’t even look lived in.

“I toldja no one was stayin’ up here,” the innkeeper said, twirling her key around her finger. “You must’ve hit your head hard or somethin’ honey. You should check for a concussion at the doctor.”

Seth only stared in disbelief. This was the right place, it had to be. He saw Benji enter it the night before, he was tied to the coat stand right in the corner! How was it cleared out and cleaned so fast? How did they escape?

“Sir, we’re going to have to agree with Ms. Shirley here,” one of the guards said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s take you to the doctor, and we’ll do a thorough sweep to find these men that hurt you. But they are clearly not here.”

His hands were shaking—from anger, from confusion, from his injury, from all his emotions crashing down on him at once. He wanted to scream, he wanted to throw things, he wanted to strangle the innkeeper and he wanted to beat the guards until they couldn’t move anymore. But instead he let himself be escorted out, leaving the empty room behind him.

The guards and the innkeeper were talking quietly while Seth stared ahead, having hundreds of thoughts run rampant through his head, but being unable to focus on one. He didn’t notice the guards leading him to the doctor’s, and he didn’t notice them leaving him alone where the healers began to treat his injury. He felt numb.

As his head was being treated, he was finally able to focus on one thought, one thought that made him furious, rageful, but determined.

He wasn’t going to let them escape again. He didn’t care what he had to do or who he had to trample over, but he was going to find those men.

And he was going to end them.

#whumptober #whumptober 2024 #I had so much fun writing the puppeteer guys #strangers across eras #smiles writes #the art isn’t that good and the writing is flaws but #I hope it makes up for the crappy past few days #I was also up late working on the art so whatever #y’all are getting some insight on the guy hehe #didn’t have time to refine this #I’m doing everything last minute gang #dalton’s such a sweetheart

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saints-helen · 23 days ago

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MORE HEADCANONS!! YIPPIE!!

(Except more general ones this time😅)

(May make a part two... In six years or so-)

Smaller headcanons!:

- Human Dream has some sort of skin condition due to being trapped in stone. He doesn't want the public to know of any "weaknesses" of his so he hides it behind layers of makeup and clothing, the former of which often only makes it worse. To help with it he bathes regularly, occasionally using one of the plethora of medicinal bathbombs and soaps that blue buys him (he feels guilty about wasting his money).

- Human Nightmare has long hair, Human Dream has short hair. (we know why the latter is, though, don't we Helen~)

- Human Cross is albino! So is human Epic! Albino besties!!! They bond over it, one red eyed, the other purple.

- Human Epic has long, stark white braided hair, it reaches his ankles and is So pretty when he moves, the top of it is all cut up boyishly, so it looks like the braid is coming out of nowhere.

- Human Ink is intersex, usual ink is Definitely intersex so, why wouldn't human him be, too?

- The dreamtale twins' eyes can also turn to star shapes, much like blue's. They get that from him.

- The twins aren't identical twins. Bone structure wise they are carbon copies (of blue and each other), but appearance wise, especially as humans, they don't look all That alike.

- Dream has joint issues from being stuck in stone, and he loses the ability to properly grip things randomly and has to just wait for it to pass.

- Dust is probably selectively mute.

- Cross definitely has some form of psychosis, you don't see your dad somehow know everything about you and everyone else and be low-key an omnipotent god without developing Some kind of paranoia about being watched (will have a follow up post later... Probably)

- After blue decided to parent adult twins (god knows they need it) he began learning Spanish to better talk to them. Having had no one genuinely care for them for so long, (people always hated nightmare and everyone always wanted something from dream), it shocked both of them.

- Blueberry sans is an outcode, as his entire existence came about solely due to people's misconceptions about blue and he Is very much just a child. The love of the people around him, (the ones there initially when he first popped into existence, aka, his original caretakers. Not the Entirne multiverse is affected) is dependent on the fandom's view of him. So if the fandom loves him, he gets doted on. But if the fandom hates him..

Yeah.. as far as he's aware, one day he woke up and everyone hated him and didn't tell him why. It really fucked him up. He's convinced that if he could just Know what it is he messed up, if he could just be Good enough, fix it, everything will go back to normal (it won't) and people won't hate him anymore.

- Both human twins have freckles from being in the sun so much, however nightmare's can't be seen due to being under the corruption, and dream's have faded from being in stone.

- The twins can both sense the emotional intention of man-made things, and the emotions associated with them. If they enter a room, they can tell if it bore positive or negative memories, same with foods, objects, etc.

So when nightmare first ate a homemade meal made by blue, cooked specifically for Him, he nearly choked on the amount of pure Love poured into it.

Love.. for Him.

- Swap sanses tend to be a bit taller than classics, and swap papyri shorter than classic papyri.

- Passive probably got chased by some drunk young mens' hunting dogs once.

- Cross likes and listens to lofi music.

- On cross's bad days, his hands shake in the kitchen because he's getting water without permission.

- Cross has no concept of weekends, as every day is a weekday for him. XGaster didn't even let him Know such a thing existed until he was school age, at which point the man had no choice but to tell him.

- Epic buys multi-coloured bandaids instead of the brown beige ones. It's to add a sense of silliness and whimsy to his life, yes, but it's also to help (force) cross to get back small bits and pieces of the childhood he'd never had.

- Sometimes cross says no to epic asking to kiss him because he doesn't feel like he's earned it that day.

- Ink's body runs so cold your fingers will go numb if you hold his hand for too long.

- Error is the opposite, worst case scenario, cuddling him gives you first degree burns, so layer up, babe.

- Nightmare is cold in the way something that may or may not be wet is cold, it's like, Really confusing for your senses to touch him.

Like slime,,, iykyk.

- Dream in warm like sunlight, just enough to be comforting, Very nice to be felt, to be around.

- Shattered is Hot (ha, we been knew 😏) no but seriously, he's hot in the way magma is hot; Thick like lava and dripping very slowly.

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regretevator-confessions · 2 months ago

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i feel like maybe people take this fandom a bit too seriously. and like i get it!! im autistic and i sometimes assign morality to interests because im kind of obsessed with media analysis and subtext which can include a lot of themes and messages (sometimes harmful, sometimes good, mostly unintentional) but like. guys. it’s a silly roblox game. MOSTLY. there arr some more serious aspects but its mainly filled with whimsy. it literally has memes littered throughout the game. including characters based off of memes. a lot of things are meant to be taken as jokes and while it’s completely fine to take things passed off as jokes and make/headcanon them as actually serious parts of a character, its not productive to go into a moral panic about some of this shit. and thats not to say there isn’t like, problems about infantilism/demonization and other problems towards multiple characters. but a majority of people are going haha silly roblox character. wouldn’t it be cute if this silly roblox character dated this other silly roblox character. back when i was in the hlvrai fandom this was also sort of an issue because it was just. a silly jokey series made by friends to be funny. (even though there were unique problems that also existed in that fandom that needed to be adressed. )a lot of people dont really think that hard about shipping, they just pair up characters for fun. like i’m not proship. i hate ships that are clearly abusive or pedophillic or whatever, but most regretevator characters are just silly guys or joke characters. as far as i can tell there’s not really any canonically abusive characters? there’s certainly mean and evil ones, but yall have got to learn the difference between a ship that’s clearly romanticizing abuse and a what is basically a kismessitude. i dont even really like any ships besides spive tbh but i need to stress that some of yall need to block people who ship things that make you personally uncomfortable. a good majority of people won’t listen to you about why it sucks/why you think it sucks. they’ll just keep shipping it. the block button is so sexy you guys. dont waste your energy yelling at people who wont listen 90% of the time. you could be petting a cat instead. or donating to people in need. or telling your friends you love them. or making a chocolate cake. or making fanart.

#regretevator confessions #regretevator

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hedghost · 4 months ago

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Hedge’s Official Ranking of the 24/25 WSL Kits That Literally Nobody Asked For - Home Edition

please please tell me your thoughts in the reblogs or tags!!! i love hearing other people’s critiques. this is the one time the woso community can all come together and complain about the same thing!

1.Liverpool

potentially a controversial opinion but this is Nice As Hell! i know a lot of people said the collars are ugly but like idk it’s kinda giving if you ask me. it’s bold, it’s a statement. i love retro. this is just a good kit. it’s doing bits without doing too much. simple, tasteful, plus a little subtle pizzazz with those jaunty ass stripes - werk it ladies!

plus this kit is made from recycled plastic bottles, nice job! save those turtles liverpool!

apparently the pattern spells out ynwa, which i’m totally Not seeing (maybe i misunderstood this). i’m getting a Y, and then like an H in there maybe? and then i’m just lost, so not sure you hit the mark with that one, but love you for trying! it’s a cool pattern regardless, so i’d maybe just ditch the whole symbolism jargon and stick with that. overall nice job guys - 9/10

bonus points for that prematch shirt, love the detailing on it very sexy top marks

2. Arsenal

sorry arsenal fans, this shit is ugly as fuckkkkk - i’m not even being biased or trying to start fights (for once) it’s just like so hideous. i didn’t really like last season’s but compared to this that was a masterpiece. it’s so PLAIN! the weird red splodge is like not flattering at all and the blue? what’s that all about? also i fucking hate the back it looks like a used period pad, so hopefully the numbers fix that.

praying for your sakes you get a nice third kit or something bc this is ass.

also i’m a HATER for minimalist badge designs. this cannon logo makes the shirt look like a uniform for a museum volunteer. don’t get me wrong - arsenal is not the only culprit. what has a good old crest ever done to you? why do we hate maximalism? why do we hate fun? - 4/10

3. Manchester City

now this is fine. it’s just fine. it’s objectively nice, but it’s also objectively boring! as! fuck! the solid blue is clean but a little too flat. something looks off. it’s missing something. idk it’s nice ig, but it also seems identical to last season? if i saw these pics with no context i’d literally think it was from this year, but that’s the case with most top tier clubs it seems. have some fun guys! push the boat out! where’s the whimsy? but yeah anyway it’s alright.

at least they tried with the sleeves. allegedly they have the manchester dialling code 0161 on them but i mean - do they? do they really? because it looks like a bus seat to me. city fans decide for yourself i guess, because i for one won’t be getting close enough to a city shirt to look

it’s also made from recycled waste textiles so yay again! probably made from all the city shirts people threw out after they all but fucked the title 🤭 - 7/10

4. Tottenham Hotspur

wow spurs this is nice. it’s just so clean, so crisp. my normal issue with spurs kits is their absolute undying commitment to being plain as fuck. they picked one colour, white - arguably the most boring colour of all, arguably even the total absence of colour - and stuck to it. this however? it’s simplicity done well. it’s still plain and simple, but in a gorgeous sexy way. those navy retro colourblock sleeves? stunning! the crispest white you’ve ever seen? stunning! the tiniest of sleeve embellishments? stunning! simplicity done well. it’s just so crispy. pleases my eye.

also huge respect to them for not jumping of the band wagon with the whole ‘every shirt must have ugly details with symbolic meaning we grasped at straws to come up with in order to do something new and edgy’. spurs said no! they said ‘oh this? yeah this is a football shirt. what does it mean? it means football shirt.’ thanks spurs, good job - 9.5/10

5. Crystal Palace

ummmm. now. hmm. uhh. what? this is, um, what? give me a second to get my thoughts in order. i don’t know what is happening here and i’m at a loss for words.

right. crystal palace. inaugural season in the wsl. making a statement. making a splash. right. here’s the thing. i’m always saying wsl kits are too boring. i’m always saying we want fun patterns and whimsy. i’m looking at this in genuine confusion because i actually do not know what is going on here. do i like it? not sure? do i hate it? also not sure?

i think i kind of like it? but i also kind of hate it? it’s insanely busy, it’s probably the most garish kit i’ve ever seen in my life. i think part of the problem is that the club doesn’t have a great colour palette to work from. it’s very bright. i do love the pattern of the eagle crest in the blue, that’s a huge win from me. it’s just those spray paint red splatters that’s throwing me off. it looks like they spent ages making a lovely blue eagle pattern and then remembered they needed red in there so just used the funky spray tools on microsoft paint to draw over the top. it’s giving shit cgi blood splatter in a low budget zombie film. it’s like the barcelona shirts if they were designed by a gcse art student on an acid trip.

the more i’m looking at it however, i’m kind of loving it? kinda camp i guess. this one could be a grower. i’m still confused. at least they’ll make a splash in the wsl - 6/10

6. Manchester United

you’d think by now that i would have learnt to not get my hopes up with this club. remember the long long list of disappointments from yanited this season that i never shut up about? yeah, add this kit to that list.

listen it’s not awful. it’s not ugly, it’s not an eyesore. at the very least, it’s classic united. but it’s just so! bloody! dull! i’m literally falling asleep looking at it. it’s a t-shirt. its literally just a t-shirt. the problem is they set the bar too high last year, with that beautiful pattern and beautiful shade of red. and now, in proper united style, we’re straight back to mediocrity.

let’s talk details. oh wait, they aren’t ANY. there is nothing to say about this kit because there is nothing going ON with this kit. i like the white stripes. that’s it. theres the ombré red at the bottom, which is like- it’s okay. problem is - there’s like four too many shades of red on this shirt, and none of them are that nice. it needs a pattern or something! a pop! a little pizzazz! not a fan of the curved back panel, but it does look a whole lot better than arsenal’s at least.

this is absolutely nothing groundbreaking but it’s fine. it’s just so fucking plain. i know my girls will still serve in it, but i hoped for more. of course, in true united fashion: it’s the hope that kills you - 6/10

7. Chelsea

the tagline for this release is 'we burn blue', because 'the hottest part of the flame burns blue'. congrats on passing year seven chemistry guys. anyway, with that in mind, this kit is, naturally of course, patterned with a mystery blue LIQUID. im not seeing flames in any part of this kit. literally how is this meant to look like fire. this tagline is pure bollocks. it literally could not look more like water if it tried. aka, the opposite of fire.

the kit itself, i'm honestly struggling to form an opinion. i dont think i hate it, but i dont love it either. it may have been easier to figure out if i could actually SEE the kit in any of the release photos, instead of some stupid fucking slow motion blur effect. this pic makes mayra look like she's undergoing mitosis. poor girl's been through enough. it says a lot that in your official kit release you're actively preventing me from looking at the kit.

its not awful? i'm not a fan of these kind of realistic graphics on kits, just makes it look fake and cheap, but like, idk its kinda cool ig. the more i look the more i'm down with it. the colours are nice. its shiny. i'm glad we've gone for originality at least. patterns are fun. - 7.5/10

8. Brighton

i missed this release bc i saw the pictures and genuinely did not realise it was a different kit oops. i do feel bad for clubs who have committed to a striped kit because honestly there’s not really many ways you can play with that. but also that’s kind of their own fault. there’s really not much you can say about this. the sleeves are white this time… okay… there’s a faint pinstripe down each stripe… okayyy… yep that’s kind of it really.

it’s clean, it’s classic brighton, it’s a decent kit. there’s just genuinely nothing new about this. it’s fine. they just clearly couldn’t be bothered and i respect that. - 6/10

9. West Ham

okay we’re doing turtlenecks now apparently!! interesting choice!! i think it kinda looks fuckass silly but also i kind of like it actually. bit of fun innit. good stripes.

the rest of the kit is pretty mid. plainer than a toast sandwich. except for the sleeves! because this year, not only are they bringing in turtlenecks, west ham have decided to also bring in milkmaid sleeves! why is it like that? like is it just a weird bad fit or have they put a fucking elasticated band on? who’s idea was that? what is going on! also am i having a stroke or has the badge changed colour. because it looks fucking hideous. what did they do that for.

i do love the fact they did this shoot in a pub though. very funny. and the kit isn’t too bad. i like the stripes - 6/10

10. Leicester

this is the plainest most boring kit i have ever seen with my own two eyes. that is literally all i can say about this. boring. much like the city of leicester itself.

however - the women have a different kit sponsor to the men and i respect that so you can have one bonus point - 4/10

11. Everton

i’ll be totally honest - i wasn’t expecting everton to give me like the best kit of the bunch. this is the kit for me. i like this one a lot. castore may be mega shit quality but at least they don’t just copy paste all their kits.

i fucking love the pattern here. it’s subtle but it’s nice! and it’s different! we’re not doing any mad shit like chelsea, we’re not doing absolutely nothing at all like leicester. the perfect middle ground of the blue kits. the sponsor is hideous but i’m ignoring that. this is just lovely to look at. stylish, sleek. it’s giving high quality bus seats. this is no stagecoach, this is private hire only. i just love it. and then to top it all off, just the perfect amount of collar detailing. i would be a happy toffee if i was wearing this. gorgeous. loses half a point because the badge fell off during the game which is hysterical.- 9.5/10

12. Aston Villa

this is just the west ham kit if west ham were normal. it’s nothing to write home about, but i do like it. i like the block sleeves and the stripe colour. i like the subtle stripes down the side. i like the simplicity. i like the collar stripes. i even like the flat badge. also i’m assuming this is a betting sponsor which sucks but i do have to say that the sponsor looks great with this kit. it blends in, which is rare. this is a clean, classic kit, and i’m glad that at least one team could be normal. i don’t like that there’s pretty much nothing i can make fun of here. unfortunate for me, good for villa. good job - 8/10

note - all this was written as soon as each club released their kit, so some of my opinions have changed, and a lot have grown on me (looking at you united), but i’ve left the review untouched so you can get purely my honest first impression.

away, third and goalkeeper ratings are currently in progress so expect them once they've all been released! these posts literally never get any notes but i absolutely love doing them so i'm doing it anyway, but if you did wanna encourage me with some nice comments that wouldn't go amiss ;) xx

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fatehbaz · 1 year ago

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Thank you. Glad that it’s enjoyable.

Simultaneous rage and compassion. Solemnity and silliness. Somber yet playful. Grieving and joyous. Fire and whimsy.

The juxtaposition is very deliberate, from me. The contrast between deathly seriousness and silliness. How to live a rich and full life in the shadow, in the grips of unending violence imposed from above, without being solely defined by the trauma.

This was a tag, from just this week, that someone added on a post of mine.

Average tags from an average post. These were also from within a few days of each other, which people added to merely one single post of mine:

I guess, the two realms must coexist if I am to survive and also somehow find, make, experience joy.

To go about your day, witnessing a thousand “small” cruelties and tragedies merely in the first waking hours of the day during the morning bus ride to work. Watch the city from the window. Gentrification, homelessness, chronic illness, institutional disavowal.

Relentless violence. Without pity.

Sometimes I half-seriously joke about the “ethical imperative to be whimsical.” It hurts! We’re being killed! Things are dire! But we won’t concede joy!

How to make a life when you’re being neglected, forsaken, hunted, actively harmed.

---

In a piece from 2023, in Kohl’s special issue on “Anticolonial Feminist Imaginaries,” Katie Natanel recently described a similar challenge:

‘I think what is sitting in my heart at this moment is how to hold this together: a will to do things otherwise and build things elsewhere, in ways that keep sight of power – and yet refuse it as totalising. [...] [N]ot an abstract theoretical musing [...]. Rather, it is something to be done -- a practice that we envision and embody because we must.’

---

Avery Gordon, who writes often of institutional abandonment and “hauntings,” described our predicament as if we are trapped in hell:

‘[C]oncentration of global wealth and the “extension of hopeless poverties”; […] the intensification of state repression and the growth of police states; the stratification of peoples […]; and the production of surplus populations, such as the landless, the homeless, and the imprisoned, who are treated as social “waste.” […] To be unable to transcend […] the horror […] of such a world order is what hell means […]. Without a glimpse of an elsewhere or otherwise, we’re living in hell. [...] [P]eople are rejecting prison as the ideal model of social order. […] Embedded in this resistance, sometimes explicitly and sometimes implicitly, is both a deep longing for and the articulation of, the existence of a life lived otherwise and elsewhere than in hell. […] Cultivating an instinctual basis for freedom is about identifying the longings that already exist – however muted or marginal […]. The utopian is not only or merely a “fantasy of” and for “the future collectivity”. It is not simply fantasmatic or otherworldly in the conventional temporal sense. The utopian is a way of conceiving and living in the here and now [...]. But there are no guarantees. No guarantees that the time is right […]; no guarantees that just a little more misery and suffering will bring the whole mess down [...]. There are no guarantees of coming millenniums [...], only our complicated selves together and a […] principle in which the history and presence of the instinct for freedom, however fugitive or extreme, is the evidence of the […] possibility because we’ve already begun to realize it. Begun to realize it in those scandalous moments when the present wavers […]. The point is to expose the illusion of supremacy and unassailability dominating institutions and groups routinely generate to mask their fragility and their contingency. The point is […] to encourage […] us […] to be a little less frightened of and more enthusiastic about our most scandalous utopian desires and actions [...].” [Text from: Avery Gordon. “Some thoughts on the Utopian.” 2016. Bold emphasis added by me.]

Elsewhere, Gordon also says this:

‘In this context of enhanced militarism and securitisation, [...] [there is] more widespread social abandonment and more entrenched inequalities [...]. At the same time, there is widespread, daily, active and open political opposition to all this, at the scale at which people can contest it [...]. And there are also so many people, more and more [...], looking for ways to think and live on different – better terms – and doing it in small ways [...]. What will happen we don’t know, of course. But as more people become unable to participate in the existing economic and governing systems, they must find another way. [...] [A] standpoint and a mindset for living on better terms than we’re offered; for living as if you had the necessity and the freedom to do so; for living in the acknowledgement, that despite the overwhelming power of all the systems of domination which are trying to kill us, they never quite become us. [...] ‘Can a past that the present has not yet caught up with be summoned to haunt the present as an alternative?’ What would happen if we understood that what haunts from the past are precisely all those aspirations and actions – small and large, individual and collective – that oppose racial capitalism and empire and live actively other than on those terms of order. [...] Julius Scott called it ‘the common wind.’’ [Text from: Avery Gordon. As interviewed by Brenna Bhandar and Rafeef Ziadah. “Revolutionary Feminisms: Avery F. Gordon.” Transcribed and published at the blog of Verso Books, 2 September 2020.]

Gordon adds that “the struggle to transform the world takes place immanently today now.”

---

In a similar style, AM Kanngieser says:

‘The no of refusal is a mode of survival: an impenetrable boundary, silent or shouted. It is a refusal to be killed or to succumb [...]. Vast ecosystems flattened for plantations and fields, raw minerals pulled from the ground and sea for the building of nation-states [...]. Being-with requires a pause from which to imagine this otherwise, in all of its vastness and uncertainty. [...] To be-with [...] needs a disposition of attentiveness, listening, curiosity and noticing, [...]. The immensity of the loss of people and ecologies to capitalist brutalities exceeds what we can comprehend. But [...] so do the myriad, and insuppressible flourishings and alliances, the joyfulness and love, the lives lived otherways.’ [Text from: AM Kanngieser. “To undo nature; on refusal as return.” transmediale. 2021.]

---

What kind of “flourishings and alliances”?

In an interview from 2021, Robyn Maynard describes the importance of care, love in “fighting back”:

‘Every day I wake up and rehearse the person I would like to be. […] To use the words of the late, great, C.L.R. James, “every cook can govern.” Organizing, whether formal or informal, whether geared toward a short term goal or a massive, transformative shift: this is what happens when people consciously decide to come together and “shape change,” to think with Octavia Butler. And to move through the world with the intention of making it a better place for living creatures to inhabit. […] And most importantly, it’s an invitation to join in. And it is a reminder that liberation is not a destination but an ongoing process, a praxis. Every day, groups of parents, librarians, nurses, temp workers, ordinary people, tired of the horrors of the present, come together to decide what kind of world they want to inhabit. […] In a historic time of mutual aid, newly created support networks, and old and new freedom strategies, we bear witness to rehearsal, study, experimentation in form, a multiplicity of formations of struggle being waged, often most strongly by people for whom freedom has been most denied. I’m thinking here of Claude McKay’s words from “If We Must Die”: “Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!” [...] [F]or so many people, whether abandoned by the state [...] or abandoned by society in a carceral site, fighting back, by virtue of necessity as well as of ethics, is building, always building. This is the freedom work, and the love work, and the care work, of rehearsal.’ [Text from: Robyn Maynard. “Every Day We Must Get Up and Relearn the World: An Interview with Robyn Maynard and Leanne Betasamosake Simpson.” Intefere: Journal for Critical Thought and Radical Politics.” 19 November 2021.]

---

As for whimsy as an antidote.

I like what Dixa Ramirez D’Oleo says:

‘Opacity, multiplicity, and refraction unsettle many […]. Here I must reveal myself as someone who loves deviance and mischief. […] The word furtive delights me. A quick [online] search for synonyms yields other poetically inspiring words: secretive, surreptitious, clandestine, covert, conspiratorial, oblique, and shifty. […] We must fold these small acts of love and creativity and play (and laughter and irreverence and whimsy) into other resistant projects against white supremacy […]. In various trans-American imaginaries, the boonies are raced as nonproductive land inhabited by people who are not fully part of the Western episteme. [...] Caribbean(ist) people are familiar with el monte, the hills, or les mornes. El monte is always just around the corner, encroaching, sprouting persistently like fungi amid the rubble of hurricane disasters or abandoned plantation and industrial sites. [...] The hills, like much of our hemisphere, are sites of damage containing the residual energy of violence, [...] the “places of irresolution.” [...] I turn over rocks and push thorny vines to the side to find wet dirt, small creatures, and, perhaps, delightful hidden treasures [...]. I open my hands so that these and other surprises “jump into [them] with all the pleasures of the unasked for and the unexpected” [...]. Remaining open to these gifts of the nonhuman natural world [...]. What can we make possible when we make room for the unexpected in the midst of ruin. […] How much ruddier might we be against the multiheaded hydra of white supremacy as “a world of mutually-flourishing companions” [...]?’ [Text from: Dixa Ramirez D’Oleo. “Mushrooms and Mischief: On Questions of Blackness.” Small Axe. July 2019.]

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salad-o-malley · 2 months ago

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I think im gonna need to Hide Tumblr from myself, Before I get a weekly streak of absuing the ask button!...Haha, I've honestly gotten curious way to curious and I know curiosity killed the cat but maybe im more of a dog? Lol, your Ocs are just all so lovely and make me wanna beg like a Victorian child in need of food. I just can't get enough of them. You're amazing at character design! And that had me wondering if you've ever considered getting into writing? From one of your newer but still old videos, you mentioned that you're oc world lives rent-free in your head, and that made me relate to you alot my world is always getting built in my head and one I started written my Ocs storys not in a lore format but more in a story way as if i was writing a book it just seemed to help me place everything together and was curious if you tried or do write storys with you're ocs while most people on here dont like reading Oc stuff if you did ever write something and shared it on here id jump to be the first to read it. (My apologies for all the asks I spend to much time on here...haha.) As an Oc ask im way to invested in learning your Ocs lore well more like world lore from that one video I mentioned earlier Id always been way to eager to know more about the complicated Oc universe so as an actual ask to not waste your time hows Seren's universe set up hes an Incubus/Succubus so that must mean his universe has some sort of hell given he's friends with Rouge (From your pinterest post I think Seren being a sore loser is hilarious.) And from your All of my god ocs plus any one who Relevent video Alodias and Celeste are the first incubus and Angel made so does that mean the god ocs are connected to Serens universe and seeing from the fact Fern and Seren play with there kids dolls and are friends and fern and her husband are hybrids? (Ferns a bunny?...and her husbands a Wolf.) it just makes me curious because that means the universe is filled with alsorts of creatures and then if the god ocs are connected to it, it just seems like a very interesting world and seems very creative and I love it! (Sorry for such a long post...I cant help but abuse the ask button, ill try my best to keep in check!)

-🪼

OH BOY OH BOY OKAY

So i’m gonna try to make this as simple as I can manage to

basicallyyyy I have different oc universes that all kind of coexist at the same time next to each other while being separate from one another

I’ve categorized them in my head kind of like this;

- god realms (not technically a universe but the gods and all the creatures in their realms know of and can interact with all the other universes)

- serenverse (unofficial name lol): basically just base level stuff, kind of just regular earth with more mystical creatures in it (like succubi/incubi, hybrids, etc) this is the universe most of my ocs kind of get automatically shuffled into if they don’t fit into the specific niche of my other universes in my brain ☝️

- fantasy universe: the universe where all the damn whimsy is. Kings, queens, princes, princesses, mystical/magical creatures are entirely the norm, it’s not like regular earth at all- it’s completely disconnected from anything like that. This is where my ocs like Sephtis, Carlin, Cassiopeia, Lunarus, Reef, Ezekiel, Pluto, Florian etc would be! This is also the universe where *my* gods are the most known, widely accepted, and worshipped!1

- Apocalypse universe: the universe that’s closest to being like our world buuut if everything went to shit because a war machine ruined it all. I made this universe specifically for Khaos and Tigre lmao

now getting into god stuff!1 my gods exist everywhere all the time in allllll the universes regardless if the people in those universes know of them or not

for example, in serenverse, the gods are mostly seen as mythology (like how we’d view the greek gods) though some people do know of/believe in them! The reason for creatures like incubi and angels existing there is because some of the ones born in the gods realms just migrated down there and reproduced annnd there ya go. the timing of that happening would’ve been like millions of years ago so it’s already kind of a norm in that society I suppose

while in apocalypse verse nooone of that “exists”it’s literally just a parallel of our world

BUT in my favorite universe, fantasy, the gods are veryyyy very real to the people there!1

this is gonna get even more confusing I apologize but here we go

each of the major gods has their own realm and creatures that they made to inhabit them-

likee

keveah - incubi/succubi

fallon - angels

keres - fire demons?1?

rosalite - cherubs

Lyrastra - literally every living thing on earth + some magical creatures on certain versions of earth

reaper - he didn’t make anything he’s literally death. though most people’s souls reside in his realm!

anywhozies all of the gods realms are like their own mini universes where they and their creations live! They’re all unique and kind of like their own little towns and cities in there.. I have pinterest boards for their realm inspo but I don’t feel like getting into ALL THAT

okay okay moving on. Specific ocs of mine were born in those realms, like rouge, and have the ability to traverse between realms and certain universes as they please because of that!

in the case of incubi and angels,, angels are never born on any version of earth! They’re always born in fallon’s realm no matter what, so there isn’t really such a thing as an angel born on earth (same goes for cherubs and fire demons.. basically any other creature that isn’t an incubus)

buuut incubi and succubi, because of their nature, are doing whatever the fuck and reproducing willy nilly wherever. So! There’s terms for incubi/succubi born in keveah’s realm versus earth- which would be

born in keveah’s realm; sin born

born on earth; earth born (self explanatory)

sin born incubi and succubi can go from the god realms to earth (whichever version) as they please but earth born incubi/succubi *can’t* because they were born on earth so they don’t have that power!1 whoopee!!2

annnd unfortunately seren happens to be earth born (he’s literally half human) so he can’t do any of the special stuff like that. Rouge just has like.. multiple clubs spanning keveah’s realm and the serenverse because I thought it would be silly lol

anyways that got terribly ramble-y and idk if it made a lot of sense but yeah!!2!? lore kind of?? uh!!! there’s definitely more to this but I need to stop rambling good god

#gacha life 2 #gacha community #oc lore #oc universe #oh my god #holy shit guys #this was a lot of work #so much writing #does it make sense?#holy shit #god help me #idk how to explain this one

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pennyblossom-meta · 5 months ago

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Thank you @maevearcher for the tag. Sounds like a fun prompt! :)

I'll approach this interview in the voice of my OC, Anna Green, from The Ides of April (Harry Potter x Death Note crossover).

---

OC Interview Game

01: Were you named after anyone? R: Some of the oldest Pureblood families in Britain have an almost obsessive inclination towards Astrology for its deep esoteric undertones, thus naming their children after constellations. Being an accidental half-blood myself due to 'tainted' maternal blood I wasn't given the honor of maintaining the tradition; in fact, I was told many times how my mother insisted that my name should reflect the duality of both worlds: magical and non-magical. In short, she made an extremely elaborate argument to justify naming me after her own mother. My other grandmother wasn't pleased in the least. And father agreed with everything mother said, without question.

02: When was the last time you cried? R: It wasn't at all a full cry, but the stress of getting kicked out of class (and dragged out by a Muggle, no less) definitely came close. I was this close to hexing someone — Hideki Ryuga will never know just how lucky he was that day.

03: Do you have any kids? R: Nope. Perhaps I'll give it a think after 40-ish; witches and wizards live well into their 100's, after all.

04: Do you use sarcasm a lot? R: Does the eagle fly?

05: What is the first thing you notice about people? R: Overall appearance is important. Bearing and demeanor can tell you a lot about someone's personality, though it's not nearly the most important thing to consider. And sometimes, it's really just an onion that you'll have to peel in your own time.

06: What is your eye color? R: Blue-green, depends on the light. Mildly appropriate given my surname.

07: Scary movies or happy endings? R: Never watched a movie before. But as a thought experiment, I'm fond of bittersweet endings for literary purposes.

08: Any special talents? R: An uncanny affinity with felines, in particular cats and Kneazles. I'm also rather good at sewing.

09: Where were you born? A few ways off Windsor, Britain.

10. Do you have any pets? R: An elderly Kneazle called Rufus and Percival, a lovely barn owl that Millicent got me for my 23rd birthday. They both bite.

11. What sort of sports do you play? R: I know how to ride a broom just fine. Playing sports would be a waste of my time.

12: How tall are you? R: Around 1,63m or 5'3.

13: What was your favorite subject in school? R: Ancient Runes and Herbology, the only two subjects I got an Outstanding during my N.E.W.T.S.

13: What is your dream job? R: For the whimsy I'd be keen to try Curse-Breaking for a year or two, though I'm sure it wouldn't go over too well. I'm better suited for less exciting work; perhaps I'll open a clothes shop in Diagon-Alley to compete with Madame Malkin. I'm sure Millie would badger me for a friends discount.

Super fun, as expected! I highly recommend this prompt :) No pressure tagging for @lunalit-river, @pinkcloss and @senualothbrok

#death note #l lawliet #death note meta #l x oc #original female character #original character #harry potter #harry potter meta

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jules-has-notes · 2 months ago

Text

Tennessee Whiskey — VoicePlay music video

youtube

VoicePlay's fans love to challenge them from time to time, and this was definitely one of those instances. The guys were a little intimidated by the prospect of tackling such a popular and complex tune for their PartWork series, but they rose to the occasion beautifully, providing a velvety doo-wop-style take full of tight harmonies and flowing rhythms.

Details:

title: Tennessee Whiskey

original performers: David Allan Coe (1981); inspired by the Chris Stapleton version (2015)

written by: Dean Dillon & Linda Hargrove

arranged by: Layne Stein

release date: 19 April 2019

My favorite bits:

putting corn stalks around the VP logo on the title card like a laurel wreath (This does deserve awards, dangit.)

the color scheme of their wardrobe, set dressing, and lighting that gives the whole thing a sepia-toned nostalgic feel

Layne holding the beat with laid-back brush snares and high hats

the proliferation of leisurely bell chords throughout the backing vocals

Eli's freedom and agility on the lead for the first verse

the steady simplicity of Geoff's bass line, with the occasional two-octave descending arpeggio for punctuation

Earl's appreciative smile as J digs into the lead melody

J.None settling into the lower end of his range with ♫ "always dry-y-y-y-y" ♫

the echo of ♫ "did-n't waste your looo-ove" ♫ from Eli and Earl

showing off J's falsetto at the beginning and end of the second chorus

Layne adding just a touch of whimsy with a cork pop 🍾 sound before he joins in on the harmonies for the third verse

Geoff finishing off his solo with a subharmonic drop, just because he can

riffing in three part harmony (That is so hard to do well, and they pull it off magnificently.)

that smooth, gentle ending chord from all five guys

Trivia:

The rhythmic and melodic changes in Chris Stapleton's cover of this song were inspired by Etta James's "I'd Rather Go Blind".

When the VoicePlay guys were tasked with singing it, J.None, Eli, and Earl all started brushing up their already impressive riffing skills. Geoff was slightly alarmed when Layne prodded him to do the same, because basses don't usually riff in that way.

The video was filmed at a swanky Prohibition-era themed bar called Mathers Social Gathering. Their pals the American Sirens used it later in the year to film their "Puttin’ On the Ritz" video.

It racked up 15 million views on Facebook in just 3 months.

There is a very cute video on Geoff's Instagram of him rehearsing in the car and little William trying to follow along with dad. (Kathy's driving. Everyone is being safe.)

The cover art was designed by the guys' friend and frequent collaborator, Rek Dunn.

Judging by the YouTube comments, this video was an introduction to VoicePlay for a fair number of people, pulling in a very different demographic of new fans than their Disney medleys.

By legal definition, Tennessee whiskey must be made from at least 51% corn-based mash, filtered through maple charcoal, and aged in new charred oak barrels. And, of course, manufactured in the state of Tennessee.

Some of the boys indulged in a bit of silly dancing on set while they were getting ready to film.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by VoicePlay (@thevoiceplay)

instagram

As part of their Patreon behind the scenes video, Layne and Eli tasted some actual strawberry "wine".

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by VoicePlay (@thevoiceplay)

instagram

This track was later included on VoicePlay's "Citrus" album, which compiled most of the songs they recorded from 2017-19. Because the individual songs had already been made available digitally, that album is exclusively a physical item that can only be purchased at live shows or through their website.

#VoicePlay #music video #a cappella #music #video #series: PartWork #season 2 #album: Citrus

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slavicafire · 1 year ago

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Dear Żmija, I have just finished Inquisition that my dear friend that got me into DA is very fond of, and I just couldn’t explain to her why… it just doesn’t right with me. I loved Trespasser and ESPECIALLY the Solas romance but making Inquisitor a Mary Sue and overall focusing on her role in Thedas too much (as well as Corypheus being the villain… bleh) just felt like such a waste. What are your thoughts on the game? Because I remember you calling it „catholic”. (i’ll welcome a rant. Also hope you are well!)

ah. I have cast them away but alas, here come all my dragon age brain worms, happily returning to the fold like dozens upon dozens of prodigal sons.

quick foreword: i always play as humans, and i always play as warriors - I have played dai as a mage just once. so, in theory, I should be the one type of player the game caters to the most, lore-wise. alas.

inquisition is absolutely the weakest link in the da games - and it takes, for the lack of a more polite word, a giant shit on the lore and atmosphere set up by origins and expanded/played with by II.

and don't get me wrong, the first two games blundered and made a lot of mistakes, contained a lot of inconsistencies, contradicted their own set up plenty of times - but the expectation was (very much so) that inquisition would not only avoid fucking up in the same way but also! would fix some of those mistakes. add both proper gravitas to the story of the world - and allow for the return of the fascinating, genre-appropriate - again, for the lack of a more polite word - whimsy. it was supposed to be more comprehensive, more complex, more creative. heavy, again, yet funny. meaningful.

instead, inquisition made sure to make everyone bland, rather catholic and centrist in their convictions and beliefs - which, in a setting so fueled by the absolute injustice enacted on entire subgroups of people, simply means it made most characters bland conservatives, on the in-universe axis regarding chantry, mages, circles, elves, slavery, dwarves, the qun, and basically anything else you can think of. even characters who are supposed to be Hardcore Believers in whatever it is their convictions are end up being kind of undecided or confused about it all - see sera (love her as i might) or cassandra (no comment), or even bull when talking about the qun (which we are supposed to approach from a more liberal perspective now, diminishing its actual depth). don't even get me started on cullen, wannabe war criminal creep, who had a chance to become something interesting at the end of da II and then instead got wattpadded into the game as your trusty sidekick to prank instead of, you know, asking about how fucked up places starting with k get when he's there.

and then the game doesn't allow you to actually take a stance yourself - it just lets you choose the tone of expressing the one or two stances picked for you. you can't actually play as a meaningful character with proper agency - you must play as someone whose goal is to uphold the andrastian approach (not even faith, but approach), enjoy being the head of a giant religious militia, subdue mages at least partially, yield to accepting the apparent non-issue the grey warden order becomes, and then also give even less of a shit about elves and slavery than the previous games did.

I believe the only way to actually play the inquisitor without megatons of meta roleplaying in your head is to be kind of an evil cunt - and I don't mean choosing the asshole options in dialogue and missions, I simply mean accepting the fact that no matter what you do or what you say, you can't do or say anything all that meaningful. or good. nothing revolutionary, for sure.

the companions and advisors won't mind too much either way, after all.

#well that IS a rant. sorry #thank you for asking I could write for days about this #I won't... but I could #all this bile within me oft demands to be witnessed #dai

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goodluckclove · 6 months ago

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Hi Edgar!

What are your thoughts on pigeons? I feel like people tend to call them the “rats of the sky,” but I’m wondering if that’s just a bad rap?? Like aren’t a bunch of them basically just feral, domesticated birds?? Any ideas or strong opinions?

Honestly, an immediate deal breaker for me when it comes to dealing with any human being is if they hate on pigeons. It's such a boring, trite, unoriginal waste of an "opinion".

Oh you hate pigeons? You hate pigeons because someone else told you that was a cool thing? Oh man, I think you're so cool. Let's me friends. I'll follow you to the ends of the earth I respect you so much. Here's thirty dollars.

It's because they're dirty. They're animals that live in the wild. You like horses? Horses are gross. There are animals that people think are cool enough to base fursuits off of that, in real life, would stink and be filled with parasites. That's just what happens when you don't live in a fucking house with indoor plumbing they're birds what do you expect?

Hating pigeons is actually a newer trend in society. It used to be the exact opposite situation. Remember the Passenger Pigeon? No? That's probably because we displaced and hunted and ate all of them. If I remember correctly, the last Passenger Pigeon on earth died in a zoo. We were so obsessed with pigeons at some point that we displayed them in zoos.

Can you imagine the fucking disrespect to show their later generations after how we treated their ancestors? I don't think we should go back to eating them either. I think we all need to let pigeons exist and treat them with a modicum of respect.

You ever see a pigeon eat a french fry? It's great. Have some fucking whimsy in your hearts you monsters.

who is this? why is this happening? check out here to learn more!

#writeblr #writing community #writers on tumblr #authors of tumblr #songbird blog takeover #edgar posting #birds #birding #pigeons #bird facts

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the-arson-author-gamer · 1 year ago

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How Likely Each Stardew Valley Villager Would Give Me Drugs If I Asked For It

(and other related matters)

Ok, before I begin, this wasn't an original idea, I got inspired, and unlike some people (ssstalkerwolf) I like to give credit. So here it is!

youtube

Either way, after watching a video by the stardew youtuber, Nino Kito (go subscribe) and reading the article that he read (which is hilarious by the way), I essentially went 'could I do this in my own way?'

And I did.

I find it worth it to at least read the article before you read this because there are some references and I think one should go back to the original source if they can.

Also, this was for fun, and my own amusement watching my friends slowly lose their perception of who I am as a person.

As you can already tell, this is going to be long, so everything will be under the cut for the remaining sanity of you and myself after I post it.

#45: Jas

First, a literal child. Second, she knows what drugs are, and it would traumatize her for life if you asked because she absolutely knows what drugs do to Marnie after her 3-day work week and Shane after another depressing night at the saloon. That kid can’t witness another addiction come into place, her childlike whimsy is depleting at a rapid pace.

#44: Vincent

90% sure that this kid doesn’t even understand the concept of war, let alone what weed is and why mom keeps getting upset when dad doesn’t act paranoid for once in his very sad life. There’s no sense asking him if he doesn’t even know what it is, which is why he places above Jas, who knows what drugs are. If the kid ever learned how to read within the several years you’ve been in the valley, he might learn what it is, but that chance is highly unlikely considering Penny’s report cards, so you’re safe for now. Or at least until he asks Jodi.

#43: Leo

Leo’s third because that’s also a kid, but also because Vincent could figure out what drugs are, Leo will never. Considering all the research done on the few surviving feral children (because society keeps fucking it up) it is even a wonder that Leo can still speak, let alone read. That kid will just squawk at you like a fucking parrot. Another waste of your precious time, but at least you aren’t potentially traumatizing any more children than you have to for your drug quest.

#42: Jodi

Christian stay-at-home housewife to a man of war? Jodi gives me homophobe vibes, let alone you asking for a bit of the good stuff. That woman is calling you the spawn of Satan and then tries to hit you with her purse. You get away easily because beating up monsters in the mines does wonders, but you aren’t seeing the likes of Vincent ever again, considering we all know how those people are. You can still see Sam, but that’s because her closeted bisexual son knows how to evade her and how to get easy drugs (Sebastian).

#41: Demetrius

Yeah, Demetrius could cook up meth like Walter White but the dude’s a wet blanket. Not only will he say no, but the guy is going to follow you around like a lost puppy asking if you are okay or need addiction therapy. If you make the mistake of asking him, that’s on you for thinking that the man that embodies 90s romance movie father of the girl next door will ever give you drugs.

#40: Morris

Yeah, the man is totally an asshole. He would ban you from ever being hired at Joja, but he technically can’t block you from entering or buying any Joja product without causing the third Joja scandal of the month (It’s the 12th of Summer). If pollution’s mascot bans you from their stores, not only are they losing their precious small town pennies, but also getting another parody article from The Onion that blows up on Twitter. Still not getting back into Joja though after you fuck up so bad on the farm there’s no point of return, but that’s probably for the better.

#39: Governor

That feathered fedora says all, the man has drugs, but there will be no allusion to it due to the fact that he requires those important republican/conservative Christian mom votes. You can ask him, but there’s no way you will ever get any from him. The only thing you are getting from him is the place where he gets those hats and a governmental secret that you’re forced to take to the grave. Congrats, your knowledge of the valley increased by 0.17%!

#38: Penny

Similar to the governor, Penny has drugs, but she isn’t giving them to you, or even telling you that she has them. That shitty toddler teaching job is the only thing preventing her and Pam from going out on the streets. If she gets her online bought teaching licence revoked, she’s done for. It’s best not to ask her for both of your remaining pieces of sanity.

#37: Marnie

She also has drugs, but her already thin supply of ketamine is running thinner by the continued amount of days that Shane has been in the valley. If you ask her, she’ll just say sorry and try to sell you another cow for more drug money and an apology toy for Jas for putting up her remaining family’s bullshit.

#36: Clint

This man is the biggest pussy in the town, you really think he can handle anything more than a single pint of beer, then you’re wrong. He would panic and then cry in the seclusion of the machinery of the blacksmith’s opening your 28 magma geodes if you ever asked him for drugs. I also think he would up the coal prices again if you asked, and nobody wants to dust sprite farm more than they have to. Or pay thousands into Clint’s Emily shrine in the closet for a few morsels of coal.

#35: Harvey

Another pussy, but instead of saying no, he just quakes in his dress shoes at the counter while he hands over you some of the hardest drugs ever prescribed to man. But you will never consider him as an option considering his status as the town’s top scaredy-cat and the only ones who will ever know this is Maru his only employee and Pam who was just bold enough to ask.

#34: Robin

Robin grew up in construction and carpentry, the concept of drugs does not scare Robin, therefore she isn’t going to freak out like everybody so far on the list. But she has none for you, because she is apparently some kind of good samaritan. It must be all those rants from Demetrius and the science behind hearing enough of a concept makes you believe it.

#33: Goblin Henchmen

The only drugs the henchman will give you is the delicacy of void mayo (if you can even gain any friendship with the fellow). So unless if the mayonnaise from magic void chickens does something interesting, it may not be worthwhile to you. The only reason he ranks higher is that I don’t know the hallucinogenic properties of void mayo (yet).

#32: Marlon

Yeah, the guy has drugs, but he won’t give them to you, considering that he knows you would absolutely take it into the mines and snort some cocaine while completing the wizard’s prismatic jelly quest (I don’t blame you, that quest is hell). He’s already lost too many members to drug use in the mines, it’s kind of embarrassing at this point. Though, if you have drugs on you and are out of the mines, he’ll totally join you as the first member (and only sane member) of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™.

#31: Pierre

Remember the secret stash cutscene? Pierre has drugs, but he isn’t letting go of those narcotics at all. Good luck trying to get out of there with your perception of that family intact. You will have no drugs, only another couple of secrets that you have to take to the grave. At least now you know why Abigail’s hair has remained purple after never dyeing it.

#30: Maru

While Maru does not have drugs, she is chill about them and will even occasionally join Sebastian once in a while. She will probably just direct you towards Sebastian, if anything. But considering the kind of game Stardew is, this is essentially a long side quest, but instead of getting a tool or another ridiculous single use item it’s just drugs… Wait.

#29: Gus

Despite the fact that Sebastian is dealing right under his nose (what do you really think he’s doing every Friday night? It obviously isn’t beating Sam at pool, he’s done that hundreds of times already, there’s no thrill to it anymore) Gus believes that his saloon is free of drugs. Which is a stupid assumption considering that he deals with both Pam and Shane on a regular basis for their alcohol. He’ll just say no and then watch you avidly for the next few times you visit on Friday to hand out an assortment of iridium rabbit feet as if it’s completely normal.

#28: George

Poor man is in possession of nothing more than some expired Tylenol in the back of the medicine shelf that he can’t reach. George should probably be on some serious opioids but considering that state of that wheelchair (which I’m pretty sure is growing mold) he probably has nothing for you. But if you offered him anything, you would gain more friendship than giving him an iridium leek on his 87th birthday.

#27: Grandpa

When Grandpa was alive, he had complete access to drugs (Working with Qi will do that to you). But it’s not like he’s alive enough to give them to you, unless if there’s some kind of astral plane/purgatory narcotic that he can hand out (which would be sick as fuck). But besides Grandpa’s lack of drugs, he totally hanged around Willy and Linus in ye olden days, creating the first edition of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. You’ll get some great stories through the dream realm but no drugs.

#26: Gunther

I think Gunther would get bored at the museum, waiting around for your once-a-month visit with a bunch of ores or artifacts. Of course, he gets excited to have those, but he goes through inspecting them so quick that he’s done only a couple of days after your visit. So a bored archaeologist has to do something… drugs. He does drugs. It’s not like the poor lonely man has anything to offer you, but if you offered him something, he would be quite excited. The only way, the man has access to some magic mushrooms is following you to the mines and going down to floor 80 to pick up some stuff. At least he’s responsible enough not to go alone or do the magic mushrooms while in the caves, unlike the entirety of the now dead Adventurers Guild.

#25: Haley

Yeah, article’s right, Haley would not have drugs but would absolutely be able to lead you to them. This girl knows everybody, and the next party she’s going to? That you were only half paying attention to because she kept insulting your taste in fashion? Yeah, she knows a guy, who knows a guy, who’s friend’s sister’s step-brother is going to be there and has got a great stash that he’s willing to share.

#24: Sandy

Sandy’s shop lives right off of Qi, her business essentially relies on that man, 110% that she would return the favour to Qi by directing you to him. Sandy is a solid contact if you really need some good drugs.

#23: Bouncer

Akin to Sandy, the bouncer works for Qi, of course he has access to drugs, not like he’s going to hand them out willingly, though he will direct you to Qi for more business. He and Sandy got a solid deal with Qi if that they promote the drug business in the desert (to the trader) than they get more money in their pockets and some free stuff to themselves, are they going to deny a great deal? I think not.

#22: Dwarf

As we know, the Dwarf doesn’t have a basic concept of personal property, so any of the drugs he has are stolen from Linus’s stashes around the valley. So yes he will give you drugs, but you just don’t know who it’s from. If you are fine with risking getting caught with somebody else’s drugs that have been second-hand stolen, then go right ahead! Dwarf’s got you!

#21: Pam

I feel as this is self-explanatory, Pam has drugs, she gets them from Harvey, but she much rather join you for drinks than for drugs. She has them, but I think what’s left of Pam’s moral standing wouldn’t exactly feel 100% okay giving a 20-something year old hard drugs (not that she knows what Penny does when she isn’t around). You’d still have a great night, it just wouldn’t be drugs.

#20: Professor Snail

Article’s right again, that Snail man totally survived off of magic mushrooms inside that caves. If you ask him for drugs, he would just shakily point a finger towards the mushroom caves.

#19: Willy

I think Willy would be a complicated man, I don’t think he would do drugs, but I think he wouldn’t care if you did them, maybe he would oversee the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. At most would do a bong with you while night fishing, but he wouldn’t go apeshit like anybody else, so that’s a plus.

#18: Kent

“He was in the war!” Bitch so? If you offered that guy some relief from the constant trauma, he would pay off your mortgage. He doesn’t have any drugs on his person because Jodi’s like a personified drug dog but also a bitch. But he does have some stashes around the valley, not very good spots though, considering that Linus took all of them. I think it’s worth noting that when high, Kent will reveal every piece of traumatic information he has from the war, which makes him an integral member of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. Because no circle can go without a traumatized adult man!

#17: Granny Evelyn

Granny was the coolest kid in town back in ye olden days, she had anything and everything. Too bad she gave up on it after she married George and took in Alex. Despite all of that, she does have some likely-dead contacts for you if you are interested in whatever the hell Granny was into back in the days.

#16: Sam

Sam is besties with both Sebastian and Abigail, both of which have access to drugs through their respective sources. Despite being down the line a decent bit, Sam has got some shit that even his bloodhound of a mother can’t find, that guy grew up lying to his mom. Anyway, Sam is pretty chill to hang around, he’ll probably talk about music and video games the entire time, but a lot of people are into that stuff, so he’s a pretty good guy to chill with. However, the time it takes between him getting drugs from Sebastian or Abigail then using up a week’s supply is very short, so you must act fast if you want a chance to be with Sam.

#15: Lewis

You’re telling me that the mayor of a town consisting of 24 other people gives enough tax money in order to build a SOLID GOLD STATUE of himself? This statue is solid gold! Not laminated! That either took years to establish, or the guy has a secret drug empire. And I think it’s the latter. Lewis totally buys the drugs from Qi, then sells it at an astronomical price to the Governor. Yeah, the Governor. Why do you think Lewis smooches him up every year at the Luau! Lewis has drugs and is willing to sell it to you, so he can build another solid gold statue of himself, but it’s so pricey that it’s not worth it. Another governmental secret to take to the grave… Yippee.

#14: Alex

Alex is probably willing to do anything to go pro, including taking steroids. Those books that he never reads but are never dusty? Yeah, there’s a big ass stash behind there. He’s willing to share if you’re a dude and give the ‘right’ reason why you want them (sports rather than anything else logical for a farmer). But if you’re a girl good luck, the misogyny runs strong within him until you kind of send him on a character arc.

#13: Shane

He’s stealing from Marnie, that much is obvious, dude’s so broke from spending his money on alcohol that he has none left for drugs. It’s not like Marnie is going to tell him to stop, so he has free rein of Marnie’s stash. If you get him drunk enough first, then he’s surprisingly willing to join you. Just note that he will drop all his traumas and life story on you, Shane will become an integral member of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™.

#12: Elliot

Consider the daily struggle of writers and consider how Elliot can actually write a good book that fast… Drugs, obviously. You see, very few people could have the patience to speak like Shakespeare on a daily basis and somehow still make it understandable to the average Joe, AND still hold the best hair in the Valley (fight me). In fact, I’m bold enough to say that nobody has the patience to do all of that, the obvious answer is a constant influx of magic mushrooms provided by Leah. The main difference between the two is that Leah is more likely to show you all the good spots for forage, Elliot will straight up hand it to you as some poetic declaration of love.

#11: Gil

After living a long time and serving the Adventurer’s Guild for so long, I think Gil would have to do something to pass the long hours of sitting around. So, despite Marlon’s protests, he snorts skeleton bone crack. Is Gil isn’t out of his mind of skeleton crack then he’s totally get you some, you just have to catch him at the right time (before 2pm, good luck).

#10: Abigail

Abigail has full access to Caroline’s ‘tea’ garden, unlike Pierre, and she has access to whatever the hell Sebastian has on him at any time. So she’s got plenty of people to send you to and plenty of drugs to share. Overall, Abigail is a solid choice to go to, and she’d be cool to hang with as well. Maybe just don’t go to the mines with her to snort crack because nobody needs another grave hanging around the cemetery that Abigail can no longer visit.

#9: Linus

While we are collectively unsure of the reason Linus decided to live out in the wild and cosplay a caveman, I can obviously determine that the man has so much planted around the valley. Weed? Oh yeah, that’s at the train tracks behind the bath house, nobody bothers to go up beyond that point! Cocaine? He talks to the travelling trader a lot. You name it, he has it. He’s also friends with the wizard, which should be enough proof in the first place. The only reason he’s ranked here is that everybody else is practically on par with him.

#8: Emily

As long as you are fine with spiritual shit and dancing, then Emily is the person you should go to. I mean, at least Emily isn’t like some of those weird spiritual people that you can sometimes meet, she’s just cool and into crystals and their meanings. Anyway, Emily is cool, would hit you up with whatever she’s got, and you would probably learn about crystals more than you should? 8/10 experience, would go again.

#7: Caroline

That tea cutscene? That greenhouse? Married to Pierre? Yeah, Caroline is not just growing tea in that greenhouse of hers. She is absolutely willing to share because her only friend is Jodi, and we already covered her drug dog tendencies. Also, being married to Pierre is already hell on earth, so she will take anything that she can get (this includes a friend). Should I mention that she totally had a fling with the wizard? Who would totally hand out drugs at any given moment for a solar essence? Yeah, Caroline is cool, and she is a great candidate to ask for drugs and hang with.

#6: Leah

Let’s face it, there is no way in hell that Leah wasn’t high while making that statue, yeah, that one. Also, she just forages around for her food on a daily basis, I wouldn’t be surprised if she came across one of Linus’s stashes. Also, she would hand around Linus and do magic mushrooms, fall in the valley is the best season for them after all. She will show you all the best spots, her favourite is the cliff wall behind the Wizard’s tower where all sorts of weird shit grows. It’s best not to ask the origins of it, only how high it will make you.

#5: Krobus

C’mon, you just know that he has drugs down in that sewer, he probably provides come cool stuff to the Wizard to experiment with every now and again. Also, if you are roommates with him, you will also get the experience with hanging around with the coolest creature around. 10/10, always go to Krobus.

#4: Birdie

The fairy dust is not the only thing that is magical about Birdie, her island based drugs are astronomical. She has access to things that very few can even bother to search for, go to Birdie to have a riveting conversation about the sea while being high as fuck.

#3: Sebastian

Sebastian buys primarily from Qi, in fact, he’s Qi’s best buyer, so it’s obvious that he has stuff on hand, and he’s willing to hand stuff out as well. The thing that makes Sebastian so high on the list in comparison to others is the fact that, like Linus, he has everything. Go to Sebastian, any angsty rants about his stepdad and wanting to leave the Valley will be worth anything that Sebastian has got from Qi.

#2: Wizard

In your very first cutscene with this guy, you get handed some forestry concoction that could totally be considered a drug. The shit this guy has is phenomenal, and he is willing to give it out as long as you have a couple void essence to spare as repayment. Any failed potions or concoctions are being chucked out the window into the concerning lack of wildlife in the valley, all for Leah to watch crazy ass mushrooms to grow then snort them.

#1: Mr Qi

Where do you think Sebastian’s getting the drugs? Qi runs an empire much larger than Lewis’s statues, Pierre’s money hounding, and Joja’s corporation desires would ever think of having. Qi is the sole reason why Stardew is still holding a half decent economy before you started mass-producing starfruit wine. If you want any kind of drug, you go to Qi, he’s got you covered.

Bonus: Hat Mouse

Hat Mouse is cool, go to hat mouse. Hat mouse has drugs.

---

And that's a wrap! I hoped you found as much fun in this as I did for the past 2 months when I found time, and I guess the real questions are:

Who would you go to for drugs in the Valley?

Should I post this to my ao3 for shits and giggles?

#stardew valley #stardew #sdv #I'm not tagging every villager no way #taag talks #Jodi's part is my favourite #but Lewis is really close as a second #Youtube

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