#while under the influence of my emotions throughout chapter 4

[aviisick13]

Drew a thing on how it felt on chapter 4 (some pics are taken from the BDP site)

[m0e-ru]

tohruest adachiest manager's choice experience as compiled by the tumblr branch moel gas station 2023

helloooo my dearest okyakusan my most wonderful customers whether you have a membership card or just passing by. Here is the manager's choice of how to have the most tohru adachi experience ever 📣📣📣

this post will have a breakdown of the whole diagram with highlights, and my own opinions of each medium stated. Otherwise, here's a summary as a list!!

YES!!

Persona 4 (PS2 2008)

Standalone Drama CD Vol. 3 (scattered cameos)

Manga Adaptation (Sogabe)

adachi jumpscare table

Vol. 10; Chapter 54

Vol. 12

Arena Ultimax; Episode Adachi

Arena Ultimax Manga Adaptation (Rokuro Saito special mention!??)

this is a bit cool too

The Golden Animation

Blu-ray/DVD Vol. 2; Bonus Drama CD: A Sense of Gratitude

Blu-ray/DVD Vol. 4; Bonus Drama CD: Boo ~ I bear a grudge on you ~

The Animation

Standalone Drama CD Vol. 2: You'll understand when you get older

The Golden (PS VITA 2013) (Social Link, new events, etc.)

um

The Golden Animation

Episode 6: See? I told you Yu.

Episode 7: It’s cliché, so what?

Unaired Bonus Episode “Another End Episode”: Thank you Mr. Accomplice

other opinions 

I’ll be linking all available online resources for everything I’ve stated!! If a link is broken or the media is inaccessible, hit me up!! I have my own personal archive.

YES!! segment !! wahoo !!!!! this is where i constantly stuff my nose in whenever i want a good reference on adachis character. AND THEY'RE ALL PERFECT TO ME!! <- about the media

Persona 4 (PS2 2008)

Back to basics everybody!!! Let’s remember who this goofball is from the start. Forget he has a social link and see him be the bumbling fool for plot exposition and the real murderer !!!! Just like how I tell you not to reference the attendant during 3/20, we can put Shadow Adachi’s mannerisms and his influence under literal god aside and try and focus on what that means as symbolism and extra information on Adachi himself!!

Standalone Drama CD Vol. 3

THIS IS A FUN ONE he has scattered cameos throughout the drama and was essentially being dragged around by Dojima.

Basic premise of this volume that it’s sports festival season!! Yasogami’s at it and the IT are participating, as well as Nanako—although she worries that her dad won’t even come to see her and that she wouldn’t even be able to do the family three-legged race.

Adachi’s appearances here are so stupid, he says he was an “elite” then flops trying to help high-schoolers with homework because Naoto’s there. He does his usual begging and whining with Dojima etc etc he also drove Dojima to compete with Nanako after saying the man finished all his reports as fast as possible.

I like this one because it reinforces who Adachi is based mostly from the main game. With the context that fans listening are aware he’s the culprit (or not), they do sprinkle in his “emptiness” (<- no i'm exaggerating it sorry) and bring it to the front of the picture a bit.

Translated Transcript: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14uOTyzic9Ij9DjN4ZRNBLFTcGe0UF-PvX4qMnqcs2Fk/edit#gid=283104639

Available video link: https://youtu.be/p3yDNbczEqg?t=228 (timestamped to 3:49)

Manga Adaptation (Sogabe)

SOUJI SETA TRUTHER COMING IN STRONG also i just adore Sogabe’s adaptation on the game as a whole. While I am Marie lover#1, this manga did begin in 2008, and I like to think it’s the hypothetical that Marie really was expunged completely OKAY WHERE WAS I

As mentioned, this whole adaptation focuses on the game before Golden was ever a thing. No scooters, no extra events, no nothing. Although, Sogabe did write in a bit of Adachi’s Social Link in a context best suited for Souji.

I like Sogabe's take on Adachi in the manner of how he draws him and writes him as a character. It's not as whimsical or lazy like the anime, and the way he took the downhill spiral of the Hospital arc, from November to December, just actually felt like my emotions were ready in the right places. Surprisingly, in every adaptation, I was really enamored to see how Adachi acted differently in each one.

In the manga, he didn't seem as slack jawed as he did in the game at least. He looked like he was trying so hard to act concerned when he he actually feels guilty for everything going down !!! OR MAYBE NOT !!!!!!!

compared to the game, you can really how much he exudes of being so. plastic. ung kaplastikan. and you're mad not because you're stuck with ps2 limitations of three polygons of an arm waving around, but you're mad that he reeks of faking concern. But also unlike the game, you don't understand what's going on anymore because of the things that have transpired in relation to Adachi's character. Which is Sogabe's adaptation of his Social Link with Souji through having dinner with each other.

and Souji doesn’t know him! They share things with one another that one dinner but otherwise, Adachi’s never rambled on about himself as much as he does in a normal Social Link run. There is a different sort of motive with Souji and he wants to some things wrap things up while everything else is falling apart around him. If there’s a chance to help someone, even if he’s only talked thoroughly once or twice and that the other party’s opened up a single time to him, he’s the boy who wants to get through to people either way. What if Souji’s a bit selfish himself and wants to be in control of things when everything in his life and vision are literally blurring as he breathes? (takes place in november when nanako's hospitalized btw)

I love the lack of intimacy between the two, contrary to what majority of the fan base wants or even BELIEVES. Souji is a kid with a year in Inaba, of course he does a million other things with his time than hang out with an adult that’s some kind of darker version of himself and a representation of a possible bleaker future considering how similar they are. 

As for the specific chapters, I think it’s fulfilling to go through the whole manga from the start. Like, forget everything you know about P4 for a second and experience it as fresh as possible. Then you get to Chapter 54 to see Adachi’s condensed Social Link and get to Volume 12 to see things come together. Sure, I start getting a bit iffy with Volume 13 but I enjoy the parallels between the two, genuinely.

i have more stuff locked and loaded but uhmmm yeah 👍

Available manga link: https://manhuascan.me/manga/persona-4-official 

VISUALIVE (stageplay)

you will never see adachi ever act like a cunt like this ever again. he only does it once because hes gay.

i have made a million essays about this this is the foundation of this gas station itself

Available video links to the only things i’ve subbed ever because they’re the most important ones to this fruit’s development:

https://youtu.be/mWRB1dIgFNE

https://youtu.be/QRps3M9uXiw

or you can watch the whole thing because Masami Itou’s portrayal of him is just delightful: https://youtu.be/7oTpjmeD-mk 

Arena Ultimax; Episode Adachi

hahaha. haha. laughs weakly. haha.

I would kindly ask everybody to do this in Japanese dub but otherwise ehmmm yeah ! Episode Adachy. I do enjoy how they try to elaborate how his personalities are coalescing into a single face as he doesnt have to fake around people anymore. Like the fact that his lame humor is still present and he’ll do stupid voices, which makes you wonder if he was always like this or that it’s something he adopted while acting out the last facade he’s done for over a year—or more. 

HE IS SO FUCKING OPINIONATED AND THINKS HES SO COOL he has SO MUCH PRIDE but also he doesnt at the same time. you think hes a soldier surviving in the idgaf war but hes still dying in the mines he planted and crossfire for multiple reasons. hes simultaneously a teenage girl and a man in his late twenties.

Adachi is totally giving a fuck, not just in a white girl bully “I’m better than everyone” kind of way but like he’s totally giving a fuck about a lot of things. “Oh I gotta stop whatever this god has going down for this city in bumfuck nowhere because the case is going to go around in circles and i’ll never serve jail time in peace” how many times has he turned corners in an alleyway maze just by saying this.

hes literally trembling in his shoes with everything happening in that hour but hes just so good at bottling up emotions from others and HIMSELF. Theres only so much he’ll admit in his own monologue—in his own thoughts. That hes aware of things but he’ll never say it out loud even in his own head i’ll tear him apart with my bare hands <- i am just genuinely annoyed he can do this and not me but i should be grateful that i can express myself than be an emotionally repressed asshole 

He finds kids who are mirrors where he sees himself in. One, a goody two-shoes who has it all, the other an actual brat with a fucked up life from loneliness, isolation, and abuse (a million other things). And he’s not annoyed only because he finds similarities between him and them, but the fact that they’re children and they have at least a decade more than his ass which he spent sulking about with.

He’s mad at Bancho because he has his way from the kindness and generosity of his time he’s spent with others, something Adachi didn’t do; in which he could use his situation with his family and education as an excuse, but he never brings that up because as much as he likes seeing others eat shit and he has his way, Adachi also considers himself a fuckup. can you see this irony. So many chances to get out there and socialize, but he stuck his nose in his studies thinking a good future’s already laid out for him—BUT THE BUBBLE POPPED which is what fucking happens when youre in Japanese economic depression after the bubble economy. and you dont bother to leave your comfort zone either EVEN WHEN YOU DONT NECESSARILY like the things youre doing because it’s the only damn thing you’re used to !!!!

He’s sick of Sho because he’s an oversized 10 year old who’s doing the exact same thing Adachi’s done in the past and Adachi is sick of that. he hates himself. and he’ll hate a kid for acting the same way. He’ll project so much he’ll fix another person’s mistakes not out of pure goodness of his heart, but because he doesnt like himself as a person no matter how much he tries to deflect these thoughts in his own head.

Adachi’ll scoff and nitpick Narukami because he doesn’t want to admit this better version of him is better. That he’s not this other guy, but rather, he’s just himself. He complains and whines about Dojima and even says he “hates him,” but is everyone not aware he’s the second biggest tsundere in this series next to Marie at this point. they are COMPETING for that number one title.

no matter how many times he tries to sever connections for the sake of the other party, those bonds are developed enough for the other party to WANT to tie it back together. he doesnt know how to build bridges, but he doesnt know how to properly burn them either. hes sloppy at everything he does. he is gay.

okay sorry about that im sososo dizzy honestly. where was i. i talked about his issue with his Persona before and how it isnt his Persona a million times on this blog sorry i really everything's spinning right now 'and you're still writing an adachi essay?' hushup

Japanese Bubble Economy: https://www.britannica.com/topic/bubble-economy 

Available Video Link: https://youtu.be/0TkRLCGqT3g 

Arena Ultimax Manga Adaptation (Rokuro Saito)

this is a bit funny. i read it mostly for Sho like. while i do adore it as very beautiful adaptation. when it comes to adachi uhh. hmm. looks around. the rokuro saito effect. he did mementos mission too if you're wondering and what I mean by this.

I mean he did reinforce Adachi getting proper police training and essentially being above average to the top of his classes (krav maga, shooting accuracy, detectivisms, etc.). His humor and mannerisms are also delightful i think personally with the way they're illustrated and essentially visualized. Rokusai has his quirk for drawing everybody really pretty which he does really well for Persona characters, but it also caught me really off guard when he works on adachi like okay! sho breaking his ribs can fix everything itsok.

Available manga link: https://m.manganelo.com/manga-cn116859

OH now this is the section where im a bit iffy with the characterization here but i still like to reference it sometimes

The Golden Animation

Blu-ray/DVD Vol. 2; Bonus Drama CD: A Sense of Gratitude

Adachi doesnt have a big part here he’s literally there to help with the Dojima garden and Narukami plants cabbages for him.

Available Video Link: https://youtu.be/1SNKljdyUcY?t=640 (timestamped to 10:40)

Blu-ray/DVD Vol. 4; Bonus Drama CD: Boo ~ I bear a grudge on you ~

THIS. this, goodness gracious it was so silly. Adachi’s here for a few segments with Dojima in the pub. Detective yaoi if thats what you’re into I guess. He also sounds a bit cheeky here in speaking tone and the scheme he’s pulling to call Naoto to do their job while Dojima’s knocked out on duty.

Available Video Link: https://youtu.be/PasKTZtKx_c?t=720 (timestamped at 12:00)

The Animation

i dont have much to say about the actual anime i dont really watch it, but i respect the Narukami truthers out there. It’s just not for me, nor do I reference it for Adachi at all. why does he look like this

i dont have that much judgement to say if it's good enough to use as reference for Adachi besides it visualizing how much of a goofball he is, I guess I could mention that. I have issues of it depicting lore but otherwise i dont think it's that much different than what the base game pulls besides it different pacing to better fit the animation medium.

Standalone Drama CD Vol. 2: You'll understand when you get older

Not particularly partial with this one because the anime gave Narukami a face, like he’s his own character here. Dojima makes Adachi go to Okina and deliver something because his clown ass forgot to hand it over to the other prefect police who visited within the day. Narukami’s off to go help Ebi stand in line for a makeup promo and Dojima says they can go together. There’s a subplot with the IT where they think Narukami’s being arrested lol so they go follow him throughout the rest of the drama.

Adachi just hangs out with the silly billy that is his boss’ nephew who has so much kindness and generosity that it could get the kid killed one day.

Available Video Playlist Link: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2Wysh6PBhe_jyqxxIcyt_XrW6GcKHRn0 

The Golden (PS VITA 2013)

I scratch my head and wonder what they were going for with Adachi’s Social Link besides the fanservice. I mean thats what they did with akc in royal i guess. <- has my own opinions about this but im closing my mouth.

It feels a bit too… intimate for me? What’s the deal with WANTING to invite him for dinner… without Dojima around either. Like they’re a two in one package for me, you can’t see one without the other most of the time. Like Adachi’s slacking off work while Dojima’s slaving away by himself? I’ve always believed they get off at the same time or something because of the subordinate status.

I did enjoy the Junes segments though, it kind of felt like it was a good placement—if you move things around a bit. Him hiding behind your back while you’re doing groceries so it looks like he’s busy was a bit funny, and him chatting you up while you’re supposed to be busy yourself is also silly if you consider that Bancho himself wants to bail and was just caught into his chismosa and whining. He has enough of a degree of association with you as you’re putting your nose into the murder case and that you’re his boss’ nephew, so that’s kind of why you’re the only few people he can talk to.

(pauses yes or yes ) i also ate ice cream where was I going with this

dont make me talk about the accomplice ending that thing’s pretty corny to me but also unnerving i dont want to think about it alot.

With the way things have gone for Adachi’s new characterization with the added Social Link and the new events for Golden, it personally made me think twice about it all, especially when his TV studio and Shadow self ended up the same. There’s a lot to go about this? (<- deranged) and I will admit that I myself got sucked into the idea that he’s an antagonist and couldn’t truly experience everything right at that point. whoopsie. Then again, looking at it at this point in time after a few years makes me realize yeah maybe this does make a bit of sense! The nature of the fog has changed, which can explain the drastic change in character between Namatame and Adachi. which is an essay for another day I really feel a bit out of it.

The “um” segment. Stuff I dont really like to reference nor put in the pot that makes adachi soup because im really iffy with it and how the writing was taken liberally for the sake of the audience rather than the reinforcement of source material itself.

The Golden Animation

The Adachi centric episodes 6, 7, and the accomplice ending bonus episode lol, as the whole Golden anime was really for Marie and other new Golden add-ons like Okina and scooters and ski trip and etc. 

how do I put this. im really opinionated on this segment it’s okay if you dont take my word for it. I dont like the production quality. The animation is honestly really bad and the artstyle itsnt tasteful with how it’s executed. There’s enough frames of Marie that people looking over my shoulder while I watch would call her Adachi. It really is a boatload of a cashgrab and fanservice that kind of adds new insightful things to the lore but honestly? I don;t trust it. Like the writers forgot what they were writing about and started writing fanfiction of what they originally made.

It did give some insight with Adachi, but I hate how they just made Narukami the way he is for this adaptation. Like the boy does have all the time in world and hes not an overworked high-schooler with so many commitments now he can… make a man dinner and deliver it to him…? I would definitely say “> Adachi doesn't seem to lead a nutritionally balanced life...” and leave it at that, i am not making him dinner i dont have time for that. can someone get this guy a girlfriend please. Don’t get me started how they treated his character development and lore surrounding him overall im sick of it. At least Sogabe made it all look pretty.

anyway here’s the part where i can add my closing thoughts as someone who fills a niche solely because they think and enjoy things so differently than the present majority. I don’t think im mature enough to enjoy things peacefully in a community full of different people but also because im losing the idgaf war myself. I’m glad I can enjoy a media in general and I’m so happy when people can enjoy it with me. (had to stop the cat from clawing on the vacuum he likes the texture apparently) where was I

hold my hand as i go through a hundred coming of age arcs in my life and that one day i wont be as embarrassed as i am now to admit i like tohru adachi as a character and talk about him with a restraint so childish because I dislike how a majority depict him. he’s part of my journey as i learn things about myself as much as mimi but in a more human way because. hes human. or something. one day i can forget his reputation in the community and create all the things i make with pure love that is not fueled by spite to be right and correct. I already know i am right and correct because everyone can enjoy things their own way and find things that they like in one thing that are different from things others like. for now, i will still treat him like an insufferable uncle older brother thing whose arm i periodically chew on until i reach bone and let him carry me back to bed when im tired of being annoyed of him. 

[humaningenuity]

The Review of A New Record

By Mauricio Torres, Lana's #1 fanboy

Artist: Lana del Rey

Label: Interscope Records

Album: Did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean blvd

★★★★★

Firstly we start off with a trio of very soft melodies that are heavy focused on piano sonically, introducing us to this album with a very personal deep message in each one of the songs, making us think that this new record will be one of the most personal album releases from Miss Rey, moving on we have one the most surprising and experimental songs from her she’s ever released, A&W, this song in specific starts off as a more chaotic piano melody but halfway through the song, it transitions to a heavy trap beat and Lana rapping a little bit, overall this song in specific made us think twice about how this album is gonna go. After those 4 songs, we have a trio of songs that are a very interesting combination inside the whole album, probably the most intriguing songs, "Judah Smith Interlude", "Candy Necklace", "John Batiste Interlude", this is a very haunting, weird-ish sound, with a bit of electric guitar, piano and vocals, going into a way darker and personal rout.

Moving on to the seventh and eighth song of the album, "Kintsugi" and "Fingertips", these are the most personal and deep songs in the album, both incorporating the death aspect of your loved ones, or for yourself, kintsugi encompasses the family aspect of Miss Rey and talking about some of her family members passing away and not being able to be there for them, and fingertips is focused more on herself and how she wanna to take her own life away due to personal struggles.

Then we move to "Paris,Texas", "Grandfather please stand over the shoulders of my father while he’s deep sea fishing", "Let the light in", after a deep dive into the last 2 songs, these other 3 songs are more of an uplifting message, making us go in a rollercoaster of emotions, all the way from being very excited, to very sad, to very relieved from this whole story that’s being told, moving on to "Margaret", this song is the end of the uplifting chapter of this story, talking about the producer of this album fiancé, Margaret, this is a very wholesome story about how they met and how they started to bond throughout their life.

And to finish off, we got "Fishtail", "Peppers" and "Taco Truck x VB", this trio are the upbeat bops, all the way from a trap with heavy auto tune effects, to rap and heavy drums, all the way to a remix and a Spanish influence, these 3 songs are the perfect finishers for this album.

Overall this album is has an amazing storyline of showcasing Lana del Rey’s most personal and vulnerable moments, this encompasses the softer and relatable side on Lana to some degree, this album is one of the best albums I’ve ever heard, and it definitely is worth to listening to it.

[sneverussape]

snape fic recs - old magic/epic worldbuilding

related to this post. i decided to dig through my bookmarks and wrack my brain for some of the fics i remember reading that scratched this particular itch. this will have fics that had the characters practice old magic and are more focused on the adults/hogwarts staff rather than the kids, or if the kids would be mentioned they would not be the main povs. these will be multi-chaptered, often long (and obviously au), and some of them have pairings. please heed the tags and warnings that the individual authors would have left; what you consume is your own responsibility. the fics are also listed in no particular order:

In His Name by moira of the mountain -  After the Final Battle, a fallen Snape is hidden, bearing Tom Riddle's last Unforgivable. There are three Secret Keepers and a Muggle healer to protect him, but will it be love - or an obligation - which finally frees him?  - no pairings // kinda brotp between mcgonagall, snape, and hagrid // also unfinished so fair warning. the lore is so rich though, it feels like how magic in hp should have been.

Death’s Dominion by MMADfan - Severus Snape’s life was changed when he was hit by an errant spell, and he comes to a decision that defies Dumbledore’s wishes. Even the fate of the wizarding world is altered by this ill-cast curse and Snape’s subsequent resolve.Long after the spell has dissipated, its effects continue echoing in the lives of Severus, Albus, Minerva, and Hermione, and they bring with them a shadowy figure whom Snape does not trust and whose motivations and influence on Minerva are murky. Not all is as it seems, and conspiracies and schemes swirl around Severus as he continues on his path of deception to his final confrontation with the Dark Lord. A “Light” fic of love, loyalty, and redemption. - mm/ad, ss/hg // this fic. is LEGENDARY. this is one of those fics that require your full attention and will eventually suck you in and spit you back out with your whole life changed. it will take you on a whole rollercoaster of emotions. the mm/ad pairing is quite an obvious one but the ss/hg is a subtle one and it’s more friendship throughout the whole fic than an actual romantic relationship. the ocs (a lot of them minerva’s family) are also SO well-made you’ll forget they’re not canon. 

FALLING FURTHER IN by kaz2 - Hermione begins to learn something of the man behind the dark sarcasms of the classroom. - ss/hg, also features wolfstar, brotp between the faculty and severus // this was one of the fics i had in mind when i did that last post about missing old hp stories. this was started in the early 2000s and the author had free rein on a lot of the material. flitwick and sprout are married here and are the cutest things on earth. it’s also set during the summer leading into harry’s final year so all the teachers are staying at hogwarts and are all good friends with each other. hermione is there as well because her parents had been murdered by death eaters and so she’s spending it with them. the way the ww is written here is so...epic, jkr couldn’t even. snape lives in an invisible tower called serpens tower, the teachers often go to a brothel-which-isn’t-really-a-brothel in hogsmeade, the other teachers often baby severus subtly because he’s the youngest, wolfstar are tolerable and remus actually learns to brew his own damn wolfsbane, etc. the story is in story format until near the end iirc and then the author outlines what happens next rather than writing it out. i can’t blame them; it really is a massive undertaking.

The Crest by sheankalor -  Dumbledore only holds partial say in who the Head of House is. Severus Snape is nominated as the Head of Slytherin, but has to pass a final test. Can he? Does he work well with the other three Heads of House? And just what is The Crest? - no pairings // staff fic // one of the rare one-shots but it’s in an au which feeds into other stories // i loooove the lore in this. it provides an explanation as to how a house head is approved by the school and i’m a sucker for any fic that has the faculty getting along.

Balance by rabbit and -v-Jinx-v - Hogwarts is under siege, and it's going to take everyone to find a way out of danger. - no pairings // brotp minerva and severus, also harry and draco form a friendship // this is one of my personal faves. it’s not only old magics but the entirety of hogwarts come together to battle against dark forces (not even death eaters but...balrogs...and other things). there’s no build-up to it; you enter the story after the battle’s already begun and then you get taken along for the ride. also has a part where the heads of houses meet the founders and there’s this epic dance that’s reminiscent of the danse macabre in The Graveyard Book (if you’ve read that you’d know what i mean).

Another World by Aeryn Alexander - Detention with Snape turns into something of an adventure for Hermione and Ginny, not to mention Professor Lupin, as they all discover that Hogwarts holds a terrible secret that none of them want to learn. - ss/hg, rl/gw // this fic took me by surprise because i didn’t expect it to go the way it did based on the summary lmao. the 4 basically get trapped in a mirror version of hogwarts after a potions accident, and the mirror world has literal demons in it. they have to find a way to get back into the real world while not getting killed at the same time. i actually liked lupin in this one and he and severus form a tenuous friendship. 

In One Spirit by mavidian - Voldemort and Dumbledore prepare for war and survival. Plans go awry, intrigues abound and nothing is what it seems. Snape created the Dark Mark but that mistake may cost him everything. Can Hermione be his saving grace? - ss/hg but it’s such a slow build you barely notice it during even the first 20 or so chapters because he’s his usual asshole self and they’re too busy trying to protect hogwarts // the concept of this fic and the lore it built up...wow. the faculty are all friends and they’re trying very hard to protect hogwarts using their own magics and their own clever schemes (war brooms? battle wands? blessing tree? filch even gets powers!). voldemort is also equally devious here and snape has loving pureblood parents! (not that it matters, he’s still an ass, but then it’s nice to read about him having a nice family for once). neville also steps up as a member of one of the Traditional Families so he’s quite a BAMF here. 

yo pls feel free to add your own recs to this post, i’m pretty sure there are loads more out there!

[warrioreowynofrohan]

Further Moash Discussion

There has been a good deal of Moash discussion on my feed recently and I’d like to weigh in on a few points. This isn’t the first time time I’ve written about the character: here is my post on his arc during WOR and here is the one focusing on Oathbringer and Rhythm of War. While I ageee that he is interesting, that the “eff Moash” meme is annoying and cuts off discussion, and that a redemption arc is not impossible, I think the apologia has gone rather far and is neglecting to acknowledge several salient facts. So I’m going to cooment on a few points I’ve seen.

Why is Bridge 4 so anti-Moash from the start of Rhythmof War?

Well, it’s not simply because he killed Elhokar. Or rather, that wasn’t an act performed in isolation. Moash switched sides and joined the enemy army that is trying to conquer Roshar in service of Odium. Traitors are generally ill-regarded by the former comrades that they betray, so Bridge 4’s reaction should not really be surprising. If he had killed Elhokar as part of a personal mission of vengeance, the reaction would likely have still been negative but not quite the same.

Secondly, the reactions we see from Bridge 4 early in ROW are after Moash has shown up in Hearthstone; killed innocents (the men in prison) and thrown Kaladin’s inability to save them in Kaladin’s face; and tried to convince Kaladin to kill himself. Of course Bridge 4 hate him for that.

Is Moash fighting against oppression? Is Moash motivated by fighting against oppression?

This is a crucial question of Moash’s character arc, and a nuanced one. Is Moash angry about Alethi oppression of darkeyes? Indisputably. Would Moash like to see the destruction of lighteyed dominance. Again, yes; he says so in TWOK. But is that the goal of the actions for which fandom hates him?

The assassination of Elhokar and his replacement with Dalinar would not have fundamentally altered the Alethi social system. Dalinar is not a social progressive; he is in fact opposed to Jasnah’s more transformative actions in Rhythm of War. The goal of the assassination is to replace a weak, incompetent leader with a strong, competent one, and simultaneously to take revenge on Elhokar. Graves case is that Elhokar’s kingship is bad for the stability of Alethkar; the assassination is to preserve the system, not to overthrow it. In fact, it’s to put not Dalinar as he is now, but the Blackthorn in charge: Graves expects that Elhokar’s death will spur Dalinar to become that man again. This would, with what we now know of the Blackthorn (though neither Moash or Kaladin knew it in WOR) be a change for the worse.

Moash wants revenge, but nothing he is doing is for the benefit of Alethi darkeyes as a group.

When we move on to Oathbringer, Moash’s arc in this regard becomes much more interesting. The chapter “Rhythm of Work” is fundamental to it. In this chapter, Moash is enslaved by the Fused; he reflects that he is enthusiastic, happy, and enjoying himself, and that the Fused are good masters. He considers the enslavement of the humans, darkeyed and lighteyed alike, to be just.

This was certainly far better than his days as a lighteyes, when he’d worried incessantly about the plot against the king. It felt good to be told what to do.

Moash has never thrown off the Alethi social ideology in which he was inculcated; instead, he has repurposed it. Throughout their youth, he and Kaladin were taught that the lighters ruled because they were grand, noble, superior, and that gave them the right to rule. Now, Moash has applied that ideology to the relationship between humans and Fused: the Fused are better, nobler, more well-judging, so it is just and right that they should enslave humans, and humans should be grateful for good conditions as slaves.

He is not fighting against oppression - quite the opposite! He’s simply discarded the unworthy lighteyed masters and chosen new masters who live up to the idea of what the lighteyes were supposed to be.

And this is the context of his thoughts when he rescues the Singers who Kaladin previously helped. “You’re becoming like us,” he says to the Fused. He needs the Fused to be better than humans, to not disappoint him like lighteyes did, because it is that conviction of their superiority that lets him accept enslavement and not be burdened with having to think for himself or make his own decisions.

There is something very strange to me in arguments that treat someone who is motivated by actively desiring enslavement as if he was some kind of revolutionary liberator.

And this isn’t an attitude that Moash throws off at some later point. Throughout the rest of Oathbringer and Rhythm of War, it is the same. He finds motivation only in relation to people from his past (Elhokar, Kaladin); the rest of the time he passively does as he is told without caring why, as with his murder of Jezrien. He seeks out manual labour because it is mindless (and perhaps, because it is physically painful). His sole drive in Rhythm of War is the same as it was at that moment in “Rhythm of Work” when he rescued the abused Singers - to remove anything that could cause him to question his choice to join Odium’s side. In Rhythm of War, that ‘anything’ is Kaladin.

That doesn’t mean he cannot change; indeed, it would make it particularly striking if he did. Venli’s change was no less radical. But he will not necessarily do so. At the moment, he is the precise opposite of a warrior against oppression; he seeks out and desires subjugation and unquestioning obedience, and only acts on his own initivative to destroy whatever might undermine that obedience.

That’s also, I think, whe he doesn’t feel sorry for killing Teft. To regret an action is to conceptualize the idea that it would have been better to have done otherwise. Moash’s fight all through ROW was to extinguish the existence of the concept that it was possible to do otherwise than he had done. He can feel bad, but that only leads to “I want to have still done this, but not feel bad about it” rather than to “I want not to have done this”.

As a result of this: I feel like saying that condemnation of Moash’s actions constitutes “condeming an oppressed person for resisting oppression in the wrong way” is wrongheaded because Moash isn’t fighting against oppression. He’s fighting for subjugation - of himself and others. We’re not talking about Kelsier killing off nobles here.

Is Moash responsible for his actions taken while Odium is removing his emotions?

Short answer: Yes. Fully as much as Dalinar was responsible. for his actions taken under the influence of the Thrill. A little more so, even since Moash knows exactly what Odium is doing, whereas the Alethi were not as clear on the nature of the Thrill. What Odium is doing to Moash is what Moash wants. To say he isn’t resposible is like saying that a person who, by their own choice, gets drunk, and then beats up another person while drunk, is not guilty by reason of drunkenness. This is not how either the law works (else it would be intrinsically impossible to convict a person for drunk driving) or how morality works. Moreover, the state that Moash is in is one he specifically wanted, and every time he loses it his reaction is to immediately panic and try to get it back as soon as possible, not to go “having no emotions led to me doing horrifically evil things; I want to not be like that.”

Given his current state, I don’t see Moash making any attempt or having any desire to be free of Odium; very much the opposite. The best probability I can see for a redemption arc is Odium throwing him off (a newly-blind soldier isn’t especially useful, and Moash’s peculiarities appealed more to Rayse, I think, than they would to Taravangian; Taravangian is much more big-picture than Moash), leaving him blind, alone, and with a mountain of guilt. But I’m biased in this regard; my instinctive sympathy with self-loathing characters makes this appeal to me.

[ghostiewriter]

Hi, hello. 👋 Classic overanalyzer over here, and in classic overanalyzer/overthinker style, my brain decided that at 12am it needed to recreate the story progression of Desiderium Ch4 in songs. Thought I’d share bc idk what else to do with this information.

1. Jealous by Nick Jonas

2. Talking Body by Tove Lo

3. Horns by Bryce Fox

4. Dazed and Confused by Ruel

5. Say Love by James TW

OMG BLESS YOUR HEART❤️WELL IN TRUE OVER-ANALYSER FASHION I SHALL PICK A PART THESE SONGS!!

ONE: JEALOUS BY NICK JONAS

“I don't like the way he's looking at you

I'm starting to think you want him too

Am I crazy? Have I lost ya?

Even though I know you love me, can't help it”

Okay but this part LITERALLY is Riven at the start of the chapter, seeing her with Sam most definitely placed some doubts in his head. He knows Musa is “with him” and they made their rules to the whole FWB relationship that they would only be with each other during the time, but the idea that Sam had her in a much more emotionally intimate and real relationship definitely put him on edge and rethink his place!!

“I wish you didn't have to post it all

I wish you'd save a little bit just for me

Protective or possessive, yeah

Call it passive or aggressive”

I think this part also screams some Riven vibes. He’s obviously aware that Musa had relationships before him (he definitely had some before her!) but I still think there’s something that particularly stings with Sam. He’s the complete opposite and even though she’s with Riven, it’s a way different relationship than the one she had with Sam. And I think seeing Sam come in and still be able to just talk to Musa in a way that possibly took him months to reach that level (in terms of emotional vulnerability) it definitely sparks that possessive spark in him. And I think that’s quite clear when he has that image of her on her knees, taking his cock in her mouth and such. She’s doing this with him, not Sam and it just fuels that possessiveness.

TWO: TALKING BODY BY TROVE LO

“Love, give me love

Anything you want I'll give it up

Lips, lips I kiss

Bite me while I taste your fingertips”

Definitely captures that desperation they are both feeling, that need to be around one another. And it really grabs onto that idea that they fully believe it’s a physical craving, that their bodies just want to touch again but there’s that wee thought gnawing at the back of their head that’s like “hey! guess what, this is more than a physical lust now!” And that’s just something they are kinda coming to terms with, but not completely aware of yet!

“Oh, now if we're talking body (Hey)

You got a perfect one

So put it on me

Swear it won't take you long

If you love me right

We fuck for life

On and on and on”

Once again, it’s definitely capturing that physical desire that runs between them. Riven’s need to find her in the library, the way Musa has her hands on him as soon as she can, the way the moment escalates pretty quickly. Being in denial, they fully believe it’s just a “let me use you as a distraction cause that’s what we’ve been doing for weeks” when in reality it’s more of a comfortable dependence they’ve found in each other, that willingness to be vulnerable around each other but they aren’t fully ready to accept that yet!

THREE: HORNS BY BRYCE FOX

“She's the fire in the sin

And I burn breathing her in

Now it's love suicide

And I sell my soul for the high

Truth be told, I don't mind

'Cause she is paradise

She can crush every hole

Got her heels stomping down my throat”

Okay but TELL ME this literally isn’t Riven’s inner monologue throughout the whole chapter. This boy is fucking whipped for Musa (even if he can’t admit it) and she’s literally got him wrapped around her finger. His relationship with her is deeper and so much more than anything he’s experienced, and in some terms it feels like the annihilation of his reputation and person he thought he was. This whole set up was just a way to physically relieve themselves and now he’s fallen in a way he never thought possible, and though the prospect is scary, he doesn’t even care. He would let her do anything she wished, would beg her even just because that’s how deeply he’s fallen for her.

FOUR: DAZED AND CONFUSED BY RUEL

“Oh, I've been dazed and confused

From the day I met you

Yeah, I lost my head

And I'd do it again

Either I've seen the light

Or I'm losing my mind

There's something 'bout you

That's got me dazed and confused”

I really feel like this wee section could be either of them, at this point. Both of them are totally rocked by the whole experience. Riven watching her take this risk for him, watching her tease him and drive him up the wall just has his mind reeling. Musa watching her get under his skin in a way no one else really has been able to, watching him come undone and flustered under her touch, she loves it. But the funny thing is that they both had these reactions from their first meeting, this isn’t a recent development, it’s just clearer.

“I bet you know just what you're doing

You're not the type that's used to losing

First, you build me up, then with just a touch

Leave me here in ruins

Something 'bout your eyes

I can't even walk in a straight line

Under the influence”

I mean, the literal meaning of this paragraph could be taken in the fact that Riven was obsessed with seeing her eyes tearing up, looking at him in such an innocent way while she was doing such a sinful act and it driving him wild. But I think it also represents his emotional availability to Musa. Yes, she can feel anyone’s emotions since that’s literally her power. But there’s a deeper understanding with the two of them, she has a way of seeing him properly in a way that no one else ever has been able to and it really knocks him off-course. She didn’t give up with him, not like everyone else had. She kept pushing and pushing through so that she could get through those walls and now he knows there’s no chance he could throw them back up with her.

FIVE: SAY LOVE BY JAMES TW

“Cause I opened my mouth

Now, we're both just sat in silence

Frozen by three little words

And there was something behind those eyes

That she was hiding

She said, "I don't want this to hurt"

I MEAN DOES THIS NEED AN EXPLANATION?? THIS IS LITERALLY THE ENDING OF THE CHAPTER, LIKE WOW THIS SONG FITS PERFECTLY!!!👀

“I'm not gonna run away

I'm not the type to leave you

On your own, on your own, all on your

I finally get what you're tryna say

Just don't say love, say love, say love, say love, no

I've heard that word misused a thousand times before

I know that we don't have to dive in

'Cause we got all of the time in the world

To say love, say love, say love, say love”

This kinda gives similar vibes to Musa’s perspective on that last wee bit of the chapter. Those words mean a lot, have so much meaning behind them. And she hates that she thought about it, but Riven’s reputation definitely flashed through her mind when those words slipped past his lips and I definitely think it plays hand-in-hand with her reasons of just leaving him in the library. So there’s a wee teaser for you👀

Also, nonnie, bless your heart for putting that much effort into an ask!! You’re a fucking godsend!❤️

[quixotic-dragon]

Kokichi Oma’s Crocodile Tears   (MAJOR DRV3 SPOILERS)

Ah, good ol’ Kokichi Oma. The Ultimate Little Shit- and a controversial little shit at that! I’ve recently played v3, and Kokichi is the one character who always seems to be on my mind (aside from my fav, Keebo, of course) because he’s such a mystery. We never get to know what’s going on in his head, at least not openly, and many players are led to assume that he is a malicious troublemaker, or even an outright sadist. 

I’m going to take a moment to analyze Kokichi specifically during that infamous scene at the end of Chapter 4 because that is all that’s been on my mind as of late. 

Underneath the Keep reading, there WILL be major spoilers for the entirety of v3. There will also be a very long essay, but I will do my best to break it up so it is easier to read. Read at your own risk.

So without further ado, here is my analysis of and my thoughts on Kokichi, his actions, and his character circa Chapter 4:

INITIAL REACTION:

Before I go into how I feel about Kokichi now, I’m going to have a discussion about my thoughts on him while this scene was playing out. (I know my exact feelings because I was liveposting in a discord server as I played, haha)

At this point in the game, the player does not yet know that Kokichi is not the true mastermind, nor do they understand what Kokichi means by “winning” the game. 

I had personally been spoiled of who the v3 mastermind was (thanks a lot danganronpa wiki), so I recognized that Kokichi wasn’t the mastermind, however I did not recognize that he was trying to win the killing game via unconventional methods. So from my point of view, Kokichi had just intentionally murdered Gonta (and Miu) just to increase his chances of winning and had the nerve to shed fake tears over it. I was furious! (behold, my fury!)

Kokichi sobs over Gonta’s death, and I interpreted this as entirely fake tears. One of my friends suggested, “i feel like there was a difference between like his / crocodile tears and this.” 

I was enraged at this suggestion and stood beside my initial reaction because I felt that there were no signs that Kokichi never cared for Gonta as anything more than an asset, so I could not trust Kokichi to have any real remorse for his death with such a manipulative relationship having existed. (Massive disclaimer that this is my interpretation of their relationship; if you have a different interpretation, that is totally fine and valid!)

At this point, I considered why Kokichi might be crying so intensely even if it was an act, and came to the conclusion that if there was any sort of truth in those tears that Kokichi would be upset for a different reason than Gonta. He would be upset because he was truly alone. Not a single living person wanted to spare him the time of day besides Gonta. And now that Gonta is dead, nobody wants Kokichi. Even though I was fully convinced he was a sadistic, evil bastard at this point, I still figured that he must’ve felt some sort of sudden and crippling loneliness realizing that the only person who cared about him in the slightest was dead.

This interpretation of Kokichi I had really didn’t change much until after I had finished the entire game and stopped to think about Kokichi a bit more; his heartfelt final words to Kaito felt like lies to convince him to play along (blackmailing Maki certainly didn’t help with that much either), and his whole trick felt less like him trying to help and more like him just trying to cause chaos for the hell of it in my mind.

So, in conclusion, my initial reaction to the Kokichi scene? I thought Kokichi was a heartless bastard whose only remorse could be crippling loneliness. Although my initial analysis while I was still playing was quite interesting, I have some different opinions on it now that I’ve taken a step back and viewed the game as a whole.

KOKICHI ONLY WANTS YOU TO THINK HE’S EVIL:

Surprise! Kokichi isn’t a sadistic fuck! Crazy right? 

Well, not really if you’ve watched/read any Kokichi analysis ever. However, Kokichi’s act seems to be a common thing that many casual players of v3 fall for. I certainly fell for it when I played, as you saw above!

It isn’t until far later in the game that it is revealed that Kokichi is the “supreme leader” of a pacifist prankster club (DICE), and it isn’t revealed until the end of Chapter 5 that Kokichi actually had good intentions in setting up his mastermind persona (although, as seen above, those good intentions are still very easily interpreted in a bad light).

So why does he bother to so obviously cry wolf at Gonta’s death just to double back on his persona ten-fold as soon as he’s called out on it? Because he’s just trying to sell his mastermind persona, not only to the other characters and the mastermind, but to the player themself. This is intended by both Kokichi and the writers themselves, made obvious by the fact that we get no real evidence of Kokichi being a benevolent person until long after this scene. (There are many moments in earlier chapters where Kokichi is trying to be helpful to the group or to a specific character, however every time he attempts this, it is painted in a negative light because he is either going against the protagonist’s will or achieving things in a more underhanded manner via lies or provocation). 

When I saw Kokichi crying for Gonta, my first thoughts were, “I am going to THROTTLE this fucking BASTARD.” Because even if those tears were real, Kokichi was still the one fully responsible for Gonta’s death, so I felt that he had no right to shed tears over it. If it weren’t for Kokichi’s crying during this scene, I would have been very suspicious of how suddenly his evil villain act amped up. If he hadn’t shed tears that were so obviously fake, I would not have been nearly as enraged with him, and therefore not nearly as willing to just accept the fact: “Well. Guess he’s evil now.”

Whereas I would’ve chalked the scene without crying to bad writing, the viewers of the killing game, and by extent the mastermind, would garner suspicion towards his actions. Although Kokichi was not aware that Keebo had direct contact with the outside world, he was very aware that the killing game had to have been broadcasted to somewhere. He had to ensure that he was as convincing as possible; that meant no “bad writing” mistakes could be left anywhere.

I stand by what I said before in that Kokichi’s crying in this scene is just a bunch of crocodile tears. However, with new context and information surrounding the situation, they probably weren’t devoid of emotion. Kokichi only allowed himself to cry here in order to properly double back on his new mastermind persona, however, unlike what I believed before, he most likely did feel remorse at the deaths of Gonta and Miu. He just broke his last standing moral code: don’t murder people. And he broke it by indirectly causing the deaths of two people he may have considered to be his friends. That’s heavy stuff! 

Kokichi is faking these reactions to the trial because he has to if he wants to deceive everybody. But... the best acting comes from the heart.

LONELINESS AND GUILT:

As I covered in my initial reaction to Kokichi’s breakdown, I felt as though he couldn’t possibly have any remorse for his actions, so he must have been devastated knowing that he would now be truly alone. This view was heavily influenced by Shuichi’s words after the trial... because they were true. 

After Kokichi criticizes the group for coming to Kaito’s aid, Shuichi turns around and tells Kokichi that he is the pathetic one because he will always be alone. There are no lies to these words. Now that Gonta is dead, and now that Kokichi has gone so far into his persona, not a single person wants to even be near him.

Now that I’ve established that Kokichi’s actions post-trial were most definitely an act and not representative of his true feelings, we can discuss what his true feelings may have been. I come back to the idea of Kokichi fearing being alone because, hey! My past ignorant self was actually onto something!

The acknowledgement that Kokichi feels remorse for his actions just makes this situation even sadder for him; not only did he just indirectly murder two people and has to put up with the guilt of that, but now, nobody cares about him either. Not that anybody in the cast cared for him all that much in the first place (aside from Gonta), but Shuichi’s words to him here seal his fate as the permanent outcast and assigned villain of the group. He had already been struggling with loneliness throughout the beginning chapters of the game, and now Shuichi - the only person he finds truly trustworthy (according to his little whiteboard, at least) - is confirming to him that nobody wants him. Ouch.

I am personally led to believe that a large part of the reason that Kokichi ends up sacrificing himself in Chapter 5 has a lot to do with the broken feelings he would’ve had under the combined guilt of his actions and the crushing reality of loneliness.

Would Kokichi have offered to sacrifice himself anyways given the circumstances? Probably, yeah. However, the way he was so accepting of his death reminded me a lot of Kaede in Chapter 1; she couldn’t allow herself to take the First Blood Perk because she felt that she had to atone for her sins, or she could never live with herself. Kokichi seems, in the moment, to be more than willing to die, perhaps for the same reasons. Not only would be feel like he has to make up for the deaths he caused, but he would also feel like he had nothing left to live for, at least not within the academy anyway.

Or maybe he was just tired from the poison, not from life. But who’s to say? We can’t see inside of his head.

FINAL THOUGHTS / CONCLUSION:

OK, so some final thoughts before wrapping this up: Holy shit, Kokichi is an asshole.

Even knowing the emotional turmoil Kokichi must have been going through, it was still infuriating to see him treat Gonta so poorly in Trial 4. Perhaps it was just a part of his act as well? Regardless, it really just did not sit with me well. Under no circumstance should Kokichi be continulessly yelling at Gonta while he’s crying from the insults, for real. But hey, at least if it was just another act from Kokichi, then he can rest easy knowing he certainly had me fooled.

...

So, in my opinion, Kokichi’s infamous breakdown was entirely fabricated. He had to fake both his tears and his sadism in order to fully convince the world that he was a force of pure malice in order to get away with what he had planned. However, despite his apparent change in personality, he never really was sadistic, and may have even cared for the people around him till the very end.

That’s all I guess  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[rpgsandbox]

A special kind of magic happens when kids gather around a table to play a fantasy role-playing game. Legends are born, friendships are forged, and they begin to experience real-world personal growth.

For the past seven years, we have been using tabletop games as therapy to help kids become more confident, creative and socially empowered. We're ready to help thousands of children around the world, but we need your help!

Critical Core is a tabletop role-playing game designed to help kids on the autism spectrum build social skills and confidence. It's a great way for parents to engage with their children at home, and for professionals and experienced gamers to use as a group social skills tool.

Critical Core is brought to you by Game to Grow, a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization, and co-developed with autism advocates, parents, therapists, and educators.

Suitable for cognitive age 9+, including teens and adults.

2 to 4 players recommended, plus one adult that acts as the facilitator. (Game Master)

Players must have basic listening and verbalization skills.

When running games with young players on the spectrum, parent or certified therapist should be present.

Experienced gamers will be able to integrate Critical Core into their favorite platform: Ruleset is adapted and streamlined from D&D's 5th Edition OpenSRD.

A great introduction to tabletop role-playing games for everyone.

The Critical Core Starter Set has everything you need to play. The game has been tuned to be as easy as possible to get started and stay engaged.

Facilitator's Guide - For parents, therapists, and Game Masters, our best practices on running fun and effective therapeutic gaming groups.

Player & Game Master Guides - Quick-start rules and playing guides for players and Game Masters.

Adventure Modules - Tested and tuned to be challenging and fun.

Dice (4 sets) - One for each player, one for the Game Master. Enough to run a 3 player game out-of-the-box.

Character Sheets - 4 popular hero archetypes, each with their own unique abilities.

Game Cards - Not required for play, but helpful aids for both players and Game Masters - Visualization, quick-reference rules, and spell cards.

Game Tokens - Visualization aids for working with the included map.

Reusable map - whiteboard marker friendly.

Please note: Artwork shown is work-in-progress and may be subject to change!

Critical Core is fit-for-purpose, designed to help neurodiverse players get started and stay engaged. At the same time, facilitators are provided with the right tools to make the experience effective without it 'feeling like therapy'.

Each encounter the players face is targeted to help build strength in areas that are related to challenges associated with autism spectrum disorder.

Critical Core is scaffolded around the DIR/Floortime model, and game encounters map to the FEDC framework. (Function Emotional Developmental Capacities)

But all of this is under the hood. At its heart, Critical Core is simply FUN.

When kids engage in a world of fantasy play they are free to explore new ideas and relationships in a safe and fun sandbox. Skills learned while playing Critical Core can last a lifetime.

Although designed for kids on the autism spectrum, Critical Core is just as beneficial (and fun) for all kids. It's an easy stepping stone into the fantastic world of tabletop role-playing games.

Critical Core is built on established developmental frameworks and distills seven years of practical gaming therapy experience into an easy-to-use format. It is an amazing tool that can be used at home, at school, in a therapist’s office, or out in the community. And above all, it's great fun.

Game to Grow - Adam Davis (MA Ed) and Adam Johns (LMFT)

Critical Core is brought to you by Game to Grow, a 501(c)(3) organization that runs tabletop RPG therapy gaming groups every week. Founders Adam Johns and Adam Davis are distilling 7 years of experience and best practices into the Critical Core project so that the benefits of intentional gaming can be spread to an even wider audience.

Virginia Spielmann (MSOT) - Executive Director of STAR Institute for Sensory Processing Disorder in Denver, Colorado.

Virginia is a British trained Occupational Therapist with more than 20 years experience working in pediatrics. Virginia co-leads the development of the Critical Core Project, defining the system within the established DIR Floortime™ framework of developmental intervention.

mcgarrybowen Greater China - creative agency

The Critical Core project was initiated and co-created by creative agency mcgarrybowen Greater China as part of an ongoing program to provide creative solutions for social good.

ICDL - The Interdisciplinary Council on Development and Learning

A not-for-profit organization dedicated to promoting each person's development to their fullest potential. ICDL was formed over 20 years ago to be the official home of DIR® and DIRFloortime, recognized as the next generation of evidence-based intervention for autism and other developmental challenges.

Your passion and support can make Critical Core a reality. Please, pledge now and then get a friend to do the same. Together we can bring the incredible benefits of intentional gaming to those who need it most.

We're committed to getting this right. The majority of our time will be spent improving and refining the Critical Core Starter Set with the feedback from beta testers and testing groups. We also have some final artwork and design work to take care of, and of course there is the physical production. We'll be keeping you informed throughout the process, and probably asking for some help and advice along the way!

Game to Grow is a not-for profit 501(c) company, and our donations are allocated to helping run game groups for kids across the Seattle region. Kickstarter is important for two reasons:

First, you are an amazing community, and if anyone can help spread the word about the incredible benefits of role-playing games, it's you!

Second, there are costs involved in developing and manufacturing Critical Core, so Kickstarter helps us to produce this amazing project!

Perhaps you already have a favorite role-playing game and are wondering how Critical Core can fit into your gaming life. Like many of you, we are avid gamers and have many games we’ve loved for years.

Critical Core can improve the games you’re already playing.

If you’re already playing an established RPG with your kids, your students, or your community, Critical Core can still help you improve your game and boost your outcomes.

Critical Core contains a rule system, designed to be easily accessible to a neuro-diverse population as well as new facilitators, but that’s not all! If you are already established using a game that you enjoy and find effective, you’ll be able to use the other components of Critical Core that are designed to support a game facilitator in helping their players learn and grow.

Critical Core contains a unique module design where in-game scenarios are targeted to real-world development outcomes. This can be translated to most established role-playing games. Additionally, the Critical Core kit includes a facilitator’s guide which contains the learnings of the past seven years of facilitating role-playing games for social growth.

Do I need prior experience with role-playing games to run Critical Core?              No. Critical Core is a 'rules-light' tabletop RPG, and the instructions will be designed to help brand new Game Masters quickly learn how to facilitate games that are enriching and fun. We are also planning to release video guides and tutorials to help you out!

I'm already playing tabletop RPGs with my kids!

Awesome! You already know the amazing benefits we're talking about. You also know from experience, that tabletop RPGs can be easy to pick up and play, but learning how to be a great Game Master can be challenging, especially for new players.

Why not use an established role-playing game platform?

Critical Core's rule set is adapted from D&D's 5th Edition Open SRD. We have taken out some of the complexity for new players and Game Masters. Think of Critical Core as an entry-level platform: easier for parents, schools, and clinics to pick up and play.

Are you trying to replace my favorite game?

No way! We see Critical Core as a stepping stone to the wide world of RPG gaming. Actually, we hope that as kids grow familiar and comfortable with the system, they can move on to your favorite platform. If you're already using some of the great games out there, then more power to you!

So how is Critical Core different?

We have applied our experience and best practices to help children (and caregivers) have the most effective and fun experience possible.

Meticulously designed adventure content to help empower kids with social and problem-solving challenges.

Game encounters, guidebooks, mechanics heavily influenced by established developmental frameworks (DIR/Floortime).

Rules have been adapted to be easier for new players and Game Masters to pick up.

Adventures divided into 'one-shot' chapters that can be completed in 90 minutes.

Goldilocks Content'  -  not too complex/scary and not too easy/cartoony. Just right.

I've been GM'ing for years, what's in this for me?

For starters, you'll be able to pick up the Critical Core system in minutes. We have had inquiries from organizations from across the globe who want to start using Critical Core. You could be a great mentor or GM partner for Critical Core games. Please contact us for more info on how you can help!

Kickstarter campaign ends: Fri, April 26 2019 8:00 AM BST

Website: Game to Grow

[rivalsforlife]

"Eventually Miles said, “Do you want to know when it happened, when I realized it, or when I came to terms with it?” / “You have three answers?” / “Technically four. Don’t be a hypocrite, you rejected me even though you were in love with me —”" and the rest of the scene if you want to haha, not a lot fits in the ask box :P

Alright!! I’ll do... most of the scene haha, there is one part of the scene I really want to point out, so I’ll once again put this under a keep reading so I don’t take up all this space on people’s dashboards...

Okay!

So basically this part of the scene existed because... I kind of wanted to touch on Miles’ perspective throughout this entire fic as well as a handful of headcanons for Miles and also so that I could fit in a bunch of narumitsu fluff in there somewhere, since my notes for this chapter were pretty much to just shove as much fluff as possible to make up for the rest of it. 

In some ways I’m kind of regretting talking about Miles’ perspective because that reduces some of my flexibility for possibly rewriting this fic entirely from Miles’ perspective OR the handful of jumbled scenes that could potentially form a sequel someday... but honestly writing has been like pulling teeth lately so who knows if that will happen at all. Either way I’m sure I’ll be able to get it to work somehow. (Also kind of... directly pointing out what Miles was feeling when it probably would’ve been a better decision to leave it implicit but WHATEVER TOO LATE NOW --)

“When did you fall in love with me?”

Miles didn’t say anything, and Phoenix might have thought he fell asleep again if it weren’t for his breathing. It didn’t line up with what Phoenix had learned from experience, when Miles fell asleep.

Eventually Miles said, “Do you want to know when it happened, when I realized it, or when I came to terms with it?”

“You have three answers?”

when you’re Miles Edgeworth emotions are waaaaay more complicated than they need to be huh. Since this scene was just Dumping Ground For My Headcanons they for the most part tend to line up with what I think most of the time, buuut I might go into more detail a little later.

“Technically four. Don’t be a hypocrite, you rejected me even though you were in love with me —”

Phoenix shushed him by clapping a hand over his mouth, except he missed in the dark and slapped Miles’ nose instead. “Whoops! Sorry. Okay. Give me all four.”

aww see they can laugh about it now like Miles didn’t cry for several hours after the rejection :’) 

“I should have guessed,” Miles sighed. He used the hand not currently squished against his side by Phoenix’s entire body to hold Phoenix’s hand, guiding it down from his face and holding it against his chest.

This is me trying to find a way to write affection in a way that isn’t totally awkward... uh so basicallyyyy I am not a very affectionate person and I don’t think Miles is particularly big on physical affection most of the time, so when I write him trying to express affection I typically go for subtler things... like hand-holding and such, because I think even that much would be a pretty big deal for him when it wouldn’t be for some other people.

Pretty much every time in this fic he initiates any form of physical touch (which is pretty often because he is attempting to Court Phoenix (ba dum tshhh)) it’s something that he’s deliberately thought through and deliberately initiated, as opposed to like... Phoenix who does it more unconsciously. (And of course not all of Miles’ initiation of physical affection is strictly romantic, I like to headcanon him making an effort towards platonic physical affection as well towards his friends + found family members... just putting this here to cover my bases so no one thinks every time Miles puts his hand on someone’s shoulder he’s flirting with them haha that’s NOT what I was going for, more that he’s aware that lots of people enjoy physical contact and see that as a way of expressing affection, and he’s trying to get better at expressing affection, and Phoenix happens to be one of those people he is expressing affection to, in both the platonic and romantic sense.)

(That was a very long paragraph for literally one sentence about affection hahahaha...)

“Well, I am fairly sure I had a crush on you in fourth grade.”

“No, you didn’t. I had a crush on you in fourth grade, I changed my whole career for you because of it. You were in love with your law books.”

“I told you I ‘liked’ you and you started talking about girls.”

“O-Okay, sorry I didn’t know about bisexuality when I was nine, give me a break here.”

I waver back and forth on whether Miles had a little baby crush on Phoenix in fourth grade or not, I guess when I wrote this I was feeling that way! Anyways this line is referencing the flashback part of chapter 3:

“Do you like anyone, Miles?”

Miles blinked. “I like you.”

Phoenix’s face reddened. “N-No, I meant like-like. You know, like a girl.”

Miles looked at the ground, and his face was red as well.

this fic would have been over with SO MUCH FASTER if Phoenix actually knew what he meant there -- 

My interpretation is pretty much always that Phoenix had a little baby crush on Miles in fourth grade, but it wasn’t until he got older that he realized that it was a crush and not just pure idolization -- which was definitely part of it too, and I could probably write thousands of words on how baby Phoenix’s idolization crush on Miles when he was younger shaped some of their interactions throughout the trilogy but I’m not going to get into that now. I thiiink I said in this fic somewhere that Phoenix didn’t realize he was bi until he was in his teens, so baby Phoenix just thought that Miles was His Best Friend Who He Wants To Hang Out With All The Time And Hold Hands With And If Miles Were A Girl Phoenix Would Want To Kiss Him, and at some point adult Phoenix remembers this train of thought and goes “... wait.”

As for Miles, in the universe of this fic he figures out that he’s gay pretty young, probably largely influenced by Larry talking constantly about girls while Miles complains to his father “I don’t know why Larry’s talking about how pretty [girl of the day] is, I think Phoenix has a nicer smile” while Gregory tries to pretend his laughter is him choking on his dinner. And I think Gregory was an excellent father who loved and supported his son, and probably talked about it a bit with him and made sure Miles knew he was always loved and supported no matter what and --

Anyways, there’s that.

The next paragraphs are mostly them talking about the situations where Miles did fall in love with Phoenix (Turnabout Goodbyes) and then realized it (after Farewell, My Turnabout/ when Phoenix fell off the bridge) then kind of... repressed it until post-canon because he didn’t think he was ready yet and they weren’t really in the right place. I don’t have much to say about it because it’s all pretty straightforward stuff...

Then Phoenix deflects Miles asking about when he fell in love, because Phoenix is still struggling a bit with expressing his emotions this way haha. Also because he was in denial for a really long time so he can’t quite pinpoint exact moments aside from “the moment Miles stood up for him during the class trial”, but much like Miles he’s probably had multiple realizations of love throughout his life.

My personal headcanons though is that Phoenix genuinely thought he was just helping out a friend throughout the trilogy... and then sometime during disbarment, possibly during one of those Europe trips, he realizes “oh crap I loved him the whole time”. Obviously in this fic Phoenix doesn’t realize he’s in love with Miles until the cherry blossom petals scene at the end of chapter 4 and then can’t quite articulate that feeling as love rather than more general attraction until the end of chapter 8 after reading Trucy’s note. (Where the last psyche-lock breaks!)

What I DO want to talk about though is this line at the end of the scene:

“It doesn’t matter when I realized it,” Phoenix whispered. “What matters most is that we’re here, together, now.”

No one’s pointed it out so idk if it was too subtle or too obvious that it didn’t need pointing out, but it’s a callback to this line in chapter 4:

Edgeworth stared at him with an unreadable expression, almost curious. “Well, you don’t have to say anything,” he said. “What matters most is that I can be here with you now.”

It’s a very slight difference in the last part of the dialogue, but an important one!! 

I had an interesting conversation with my best friend a while ago... long story short her brother was in a relationship for a long time with this one woman then they broke up and now he’s engaged to a different woman, and they dated for a shorter time than the first. And my friend says that she and her family knew that this was a different relationship and that she was “the one” because the way they talked about doing things was different -- more of a “we’re going to do [x]” rather than “she and I are going to do [x]”. This probably isn’t really a real thing so like... don’t use it to judge relationships around you... but I thought it was pretty neat.

So in the conversation in chapter 4, Miles says “What matters most is that I can be here with you now”, which is still like exceptionally romantic, but it still sees the two of them as separate entities -- whereas Phoenix in chapter 9 saying “What matters most is that we’re here, together, now” sort of phrases the two of them as more of a unit. ... not that they’re not still separate entities with their own lives outside of just each other of course but you know. you know. just having some fun with sentences!

Anyways that’s what I really wanted to talk about... I hope you enjoyed!!

[kimyoonmiauthor]

What Harry Potter Got Wrong about Orphans and Adoption.

So, given the TERF that terfed all terfs. And given that I don’t want to profit from a terf... I’m posting this essay I did on Rowling I intended to originally post for a Magazine on how to write adoptees and adoption, but it fell through. Maybe we can learn something?

BTW, written before she went off the deep end of TERFing. Like 2007-ish or earlier. So this was before she went off about Native American Gods. Before she TERFed. And before she did some weird retconning --what I now call a Rowling... BTW, if you’re looking for a roast fest--this isn’t it. Credit to my wonderful voluntary, unpaid, though I tried to pay her Writer’s Assistant for the Harry Potter quotes. I couldn’t have done this essay without her.

The top reason that writers put in adoption or orphans into stories is because they feel that it will simplify the story for them. When I asked two different group of writers, the answer was almost universally the same, they felt that putting in an orphan should simplify the story. This, too, was the case with Harry Potter. JK Rowling explained this in 1999 when she was writing Harry Potter still in a Guardian interview, "...but Harry HAD to be an orphan - so that he's a free agent, with no fear of letting down his parents, disappointing them?" But unlike the previous adoption stories, JK Rowling have a fair amount of adopted persons and orphans, mostly intrafamily adopted.

Harry falls into the writer trap of the closer the blood ties, the less likely there will be attachment problems between child and care giver. This tradition started out with Brothers Grimm who changed many of the parents to step-parents. (The Hard Facts of the Grimms' Fairy Tales, Maria Tatar, p. 36) Also that in abuse, which is frequently associated with adoption, that it will make the orphan free to do what they like. However, this assumption is an error. Children by their nature want to please their caregivers no matter what relation they are. In the case of adding emotional and sometimes physical abuse that Harry endures, it does not free him from trying to please his guardians, the Dursleys. Being an orphan is not the key to being a "free agent" and the idea that adoption, in this case intrafamily adoption could simplify matters is in error. Harry Potter was an orphan left on the doorstep of his Aunt and Uncle's, the Dursleys by the Head Master of Hogwarts. This was after the sudden death of his parents. It is unlikely that the Dursleys would be automatically allowed to raise him and get guardianship, despite what the story says. On the British government website, it says that in order to adopt there has to be legal proceedings.

The steps of this include several visits from a social worker, at least three references with two outside references, preparation classes, a police check, and a full medical examination. They also have to register through an adoption agency and then apply for a court order which can take up to eight months. (https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adoption-assessment)

Even in the case where there is a step parent, the assessment still takes place for the family and consent has to be given. (https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-stepchild)

This means the Potters, by no indication, had a will to give Harry up to the Dursleys, would make a far less likely that Harry would be placed in an abusive home. Add to that the fact that Harry's Aunt has a history of disliking her sister, they made Harry live below the stairs, and neither Mr. or Mrs Dursley have shown throughout the series to have any sort of patience with Harry, and the initial adoption looks even less likely.

Writing that one can be left on a doorstep disenfranchises the entire adoption community and the government who has tried hard to give a second chance to children like Harry. It ignores the parents that waited for those eight months, the feelings of abandonment that can manifest in some adopted people, as well as the care and thought that relinquishing parents may have for their child's welfare. Adoption is not a fictional object such as a dragon--it impacts real people and real lives.

However, this problem also continues because it ignores the fact that by adding two guardians to the story, there are more rather than less characters previously. Adding more characters is more, not less complex. There are Harry's parents, Harry's Aunt and Uncle and by proxy, his Aunt and Uncle's child. This means there were three characters added instead of the original three. This also means for each character there has to be at least a personality and background added for each character, if one is to be fair. This means in total, JK Rowling had to do more work rather than less work because now instead of three characters to work on she has six characters to work on, thus doubling her load.

Often adoption is combined with abuse in fiction and Harry Potter was no different.

Harry was abused emotionally.

“Now, you listen here, boy.” he snarled. “I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured – and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion – asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types – just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end-” Chapter 4 pg 46 (Uncle Vernon)

And he was abused physically through neglect.

"Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age." Chapter 2 Pg20

This continues such that the Dursleys treat Harry as he is not there once Harry gets the upper hand.

"Harry's last month with the Dursleys wasn't fun. True, Dudley was now so scared of Harry he wouldn't stay in the same room, while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn't shut Harry in his cupboard, force him to do anything or shout at him- in fact, they didn't speak to him at all. Half- terrified, half-furious, they acted as though any chair with Harry in it was empty." Chapter 6 pg 67 The idea is that the adoption puts distance between the child and their caretakers, thus they must love them less. But this assumption talks about the amount of love based on title, rather than love is universal despite title, which would be a positive message for children to have--that title does not matter in the amount of love one can give or receive. In fact, this was one message I, personally, did receive from adoption, but I still see the myth continued, especially through fiction that title matters on quantity rather than the type or quality of love.

Abuse of a child, psychological, emotional or neglect does not mean that the child will become a free agent to decide what they want. Often children from such circumstances become overly compliant, withdrawn and passive. They can become hyper vigilant and have learning problems.

(https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/signs.cfm) This would make Harry, in the case of the systemic and relentless abuse of the Dursleys more dependent and less of a free agent as JK Rowling intended.

Despite this, credit does have to be given to Ms. Rowling in fixing the adoption issues in the last book of the series, though this does not completely turn the tide for the other six books. This most likely came about because Voldemort, the top villain of the book was also described as an orphan. So along with Voldemort, Ms. Rowling added Amy Benson, Dennis Bishop, Ted Lupin, Billy Stubbs, an unnamed Orphan and Eric Whaley. (http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Orphans) Only Ted Lupin is fleshed out and talked about as having a happy intrafamily relationship, which is only reflected on by Harry at the end of the seventh Harry Potter book. This would make it pass the more than one orphan and the polarized orphan syndrome, but just barely and maybe barely doesn't really count if dropped in at the last minute.

This makes Harry the principal character with which adoption ideas are drawn from with the second character being Neville Longbottom, whose grandmother is very strict with him, which undermines his self-confidence initially. This makes both adopted people in the book someone to pity and built on false assumptions of how adoption works.

Neither character are really given a chance to show what a loving, supportive family would be like, which may actually make Harry more, rather than less of a free agent as JK Rowling initially stated. Harry's confidence would boost which would give him the power, as shown in the books, to try new things, dare to rise up and be more consistent for his character development. There would be less characters overall that would have to be mentioned.

This series does manage to avoid many of the traps of writing orphans, but only achieves this at the very last book in a sweeping last minute save, which is worth noting, however, that means that for the span the books were written the titular character of Harry and eventually Neville's home life influenced how orphans were viewed.

This goes to show that not only does adoption complicate the plot with the addition of characters, but it also does not make any character more or less of a free agent to do what they want when they want it. They are still beholden to their parents, alive or dead. And that abuse has nothing to do with adoption, so should not be combined as an excuse, especially if one wants to make the child free to make healthy decisions for themselves. *** Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept. Chapter 2 pg20Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age. Chapter 2 Pg20

The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there – or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug. Chapter 2 pg 22Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-coloured bobble hats – but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large, blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a roundabout at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house,too. Chapter 2 pg.19

“I'm warning you,” he had said, putting his large purple face right up close to Harry's, “I'm warning you now, boy – any funny business, anything at all – and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas.” Chapter 2 pg.23 ( Uncle Vernon)

Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. He didn't know what time it was and he couldn't be sure the Dursleys were asleep yet. Until they were, he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food. Chapter 2 pg27

“Get the post, Dudley,” said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper. “Make Harry get it.” “Get the post, Harry.” “Make Dudley get it.” “Poke him with your Smeltings stick, Dudley.” Chapter 3 Pgs 29-30

“I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?” Chapter 3 pg 31 (Uncle Vernon)

Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun – last year, the Dursleys had given a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks. Chapter 3 pg 36 ( Harry Potter)

“Then she met that Potter at school and they left and got married and had you, and of course I knew you'd be just the same, just as strange, just as – as- abnormal – and then,, if you please, she went and got herself blown up and we got landed with you!” (Aunt Petunia)

Harry had gone very white. As soon as he found his voice he said, “Blown up? You old me they died in a car crash!” Chapter 4 pg. 44

“Now, you listen here, boy.” he snarled. “I accept there's something strange about you, probably nothing a good beating wouldn't have cured – and as for all this about your parents, well, they were weirdos, no denying it, and the world's better off without them in my opinion – asked for all they got, getting mixed up with these wizarding types – just what I expected, always knew they'd come to a sticky end-” Chapter 4 pg 46

(Uncle Vernon)Harry's last month with the Dursleys wasn't fun. True, Dudley was now so scared of Harry he wouldn't' stay in the same room, while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon didn't shut Harry in his cupboard, force him to do anything or shout at him- in fact, they didn't speak to him at all. Half- terrified, half-furious, they acted as though any chair with Harry in it was empty. Chapter 6 pg 67

[jojosbizarreblog]

Let Down Your Crystal Walls

2 //3// 4

Chapter 3: Tongue Tower Twister

Well, being on a plane was certainly a lot more lackluster than she realized. After the tense car ride and ticket-checking, the group settled themself comfortably on the plane. Kyogen had managed to snag a window seat next to Avdol and was staring out the said window at the clouds passing by. Jotaro and Joseph were napping in the seats behind her and Kakyoin behind them. Avdol was reading a book and Kyogen lamented not bringing any with her. 

Avdol piped up, not turning from his book. “You have a very unique Stand, Wind-san.”

Kyogen glanced at him. “So do you, Avdol-sama.” 

The male closed his book and retrieved something from his pocket “You don’t have to be so formal, Avdol is fine. But as for appearances, Stands come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. I’ve never seen two alike Stands before.”

Kyogen hummed thoughtfully and started comparing her Stand’s feature to the others that she glimpsed. Sharpnote seemed to be the only one with extremely simplified facial features, its eyes being upright rectangles and mouth being a simple triangle, incapable of displaying any facial movements. Compared to Star Platinum who looked like a human, minus the flowing hair, purple body, and the chiseled muscles of a Greek god. “Yesterday was my first time seeing any Stands besides Sharpnote.” 

“That’s interesting... Stand users are attracted to each other, and Sharpnote is pretty friendly too.”

Kyogen shrugged. “That’s just the way he always is.”

“Hm. While Stands are influenced by your fighting spirit, they also act out based on your innermost emotions.”

Kyogen glanced at him. What was the man trying to get at? “And?”

“Nothing, it’s just you’re very different from your Stand.”

She frowned and stared at the airplane seat in front of her. “Some scars run deep.”

“I see. You are a girl of mystery, Wind. If you would indulge me for a moment, I would like to try and read your fortune.” He presented the pack of Tarot cards to Kyogen.

Kyogen huffed but reached for it. Just as she was about to pull out a card, the plane rumbled and she looked up. A buzzing was heard echoing throughout the cabin. She paused and handed the cards back to Avdol as a huge beetle drifted into the aisle she and the group were at. Jotaro was the first to get out of his seat, being the closest to the bug.

“Be careful,” Avdol warned Jotaro as the teen got ready to catch it. “I’ve heard there is a user of a bug Stand that likes to rip out the tongues of its victims.”

The teen didn’t reply. “Star Platinum!” Jotaro called, the spirit manifesting and taking a swipe at the bug, who dodged.

“I-I can’t believe it!” Avdol exclaimed. “It’s faster than Star Platinum, whose speed and precision are such that it can grasp bullets!”

That put Kyogen on high alert as she stood up from her seat. This was not good.

“It has to be a stand,” Kakyoin muttered. “That bug is a stand! Where is he? Where is he hiding?”

Kyogen scanned the plane warily. She wished she had her knives with her, but they were packed away in the bag under the chair.

The bug hovered above them and began to foam green froth at the mouth. “It’s attacking!” Kakyoin yelled.

A slimy needle erupted out of its mouth and hit Star Platinum’s hand. It drew blood and the protrusion retreated back. Kujo had a wound on his hand mirroring his Stand.

The protrusion launched forward again.

“Jotaro!”

“Jojo!”

A crackle filled the air. The needle was hovering three inches from Star Platinum's open mouth. A wall of crystal held it back, shielding Jotaro and his stand from more damage. Sharpnote revealed itself from behind the wall and Kyogen twitched. She barely knew these people, and yet...

Joseph said, “Sharpnote was able to stop it from hitting Star Platinum’s mouth but…”

“Since it tried to bite off Jotaro’s Stand’s tongue…” Avdol murmured. “It must be him! The Tower Card of the Tarot… The one that depicts a Stand suggesting destruction, calamity, the end of a journey, Tower of Gray!”

What?

“The Tower of Gray commits mass murders, making them look like accidents,” the fortune-teller said, placing the heel of his palm over his forehead. “The airplane crash that happened last year in England, causing 300 deaths, is thought to have been its work. I had heard rumors, but it seems he’s working with Dio!”

Star Platinum reared back and soared over Sharpnote’s wall, unleashing a barrage of punches and screaming ‘ora’ as it aimed for the beetle. Or, where the beetle was, as its mouth needle broke free off the crystals just in time to dodge the attacks.

“I-It’s so fast!” Avdol stuttered. “It dodged all of that, not only the single hand but the two-fisted rush of blows!” 

Kyogen heard laughter as she called Sharpnote back, the wall of crystals shrinking as the Stand disappeared. “Even if you were to have ten guns shoot bullets from one centimeter away, they would not be able to touch my Stand!” The mysterious user said. “And you couldn’t kill my Stand with a bullet anyway.” A new needle emerged from the beetle’s mouth. 

Strangely, Kyogen noted that all the other passengers were still asleep despite the racket they were making. She couldn’t find a single soul who was awake. The beetle disappeared and reappeared behind a man, laughter emitting from it as it slowly dropped behind him. Kyogen let out a hoarse cry as it erupted from his jaw and plowed through the other passengers in front.

Blood spurted from them and Kyogen flinched when some splattered near her, thankfully stopped by the wall of crystals and her Stand. She stared in shock at the scene in front of her. The beetle had all the corpses’ tongues on its mouth needle. Bile rose up from her throat and Kyogen clasped a hand to her mouth. She could still see it when she shut her eyes, dark, crimson blood, and limp, bloodied flesh.

The voice cackled. “Bingo!” He cheered. “Got their tongues! And my objective…” The beetle flew to the wall and began writing on it with the blood. “Massacre!”

Kyogen had to squeeze her eyes shut to prevent another bout of nausea, trying to preserve the remnants of her composure. She was beginning to hate planes as well and it seemed like Sharpnote shared her sentiment, shifting back and forth tensely next to her.

From beside her, Avdol yelled, “I will burn it to death! Magician’s Red!” 

A flaming, bird-headed behemoth emerged from Avdol, ready to fight. They were held back by Kakyoin. “Wait!” He called. “Wait a moment, Avdol!”

The heat died down as Avdol paused and the Stand was brought back to him. A rickety old man straightened from his chair, rubbing his eyes. “It’s so noisy,” he grumbled. “I wonder what all the ruckus is.”

Kyogen and the group tensed as the beetle floated closer to him. “Sir,” she began cautiously. “Please do not move out of your seat.”

The old man didn’t seem to be paying attention to her and stood up. “I guess I’ll go to the bathroom…” he said. He paused and Kyogen grimaced as he swiped at the blood on the wall. “What’s with this slimy stuff? M…A…” The rest was cut off by a scream as he began backing away from the wall. “I-Is it blood?!? Blood!”

Kakyoin moved as the man got closer to him. “Atemi,” the male said as he struck the man in the back of his head. Said man promptly collapsed. Sharpnote moved beside him and carefully dragged the old man away from the aisle. “We have to defeat it before the other passengers panic. But, Avdol, an active Stand like your Magician’s Red could make the plane explode. And Jojo, if your power were to put a hole in the fuselage, it’d be a catastrophe. My quiet Stand,” Kakyoin whirled to face the beetle behind him, “Hierophant Green is most suited to defeating it.”

“Heh, heh, heh. Kakyoin Noriaki, eh? I’ve heard all about you from Lord Dio. Stop. If you know that your Stand is quiet, there’s no point in challenging me. You cannot catch me with your speed.”

“You think so?” Kakyoin asked. His Stand appeared next to him with its hands facing each other, one upright and one pointing down. “Emerald Splash!” Kakyoin called. Green liquid burst forth and exploded from the Stand. Kyogen’s eyes widened when she saw the glimmering emeralds in it. Sharpnote had an attack very similar to Hierophant Green’s Emerald Splash, although it had some changes. 

The beetle had no trouble dodging it, so Kakyoin yelled for Emerald Splash a second time. He would need help. Sharpnote clunked his way in front of her and tilted his head back, waiting for instruction. Kyogen nodded and whispered, “Diamond Rain.”

The Stand nodded and turned back. Sharpnote inhaled. A burst glittering crystals exploded from the Stand’s mouth, spreading across the area where the beetle was. It wasn’t prepared for the sudden attack from a different angle and got nicked a few times. However, the insect righted itself and continued dodging. “Fools!” It cried. “You seem to think you can hit me if you fire enough shots, but you’ve barely hit me at all!” 

“This isn’t good! Even with Wind’s help, it’s still dodging with speed!” Avdol cried. 

The needle protrusion shot from its mouth and cracked open Hierophant’s mouthpiece, blood emerging from both the Stand and Kakyoin himself. 

“Kakyoin!”

Said boy fell to his knees with his Stand and Kyogen dove to prevent him from hitting the floor. She grunted as most of his bulk rested on her and thanked the fact that his stand was incorporeal at the moment. Kakyoin propped himself up with her and Sharpnote’s help.

“My speed is on an entirely different level!” The beetle buzzed above them. “You’re way too slow to get a bingo! And Kakyoin…” It zoomed closer and foam began to froth at the corner of its mouth. “With my next attack, I’ll stab your Stand’s tongue with this Tower Needle and rip it out! And then I’ll rip out the stupid girl’s tongue!”

No, Kyogen gritted her teeth. She wasn’t going to allow it to touch Kakyoin nor his Stand. “Diamond Rain,” she muttered. Sharpnote inhaled and launched the attack again, chunks of crystals shooting at the beetle. 

“Don’t you get it??? Once this rips your tongue out, you’ll go mad from the pain!” It dove at them.

Kyogen let loose a low growl and tried to drag Kakyoin back, but paused when she saw his stand. Hierophant’s feet were spread out on the ground, worming its way underneath chairs. She was confused about what was going on as Kakyoin said, “What? If its tongue is ripped out, it’ll go mad from the pain?” He straightened, taking his weight off Kyogen. “My Hierophant Green?” 

The needle from the beetle shot at them and two things happened at once. Sharpnote shifted to cover them as green tendrils shot from the surrounding areas and speared through the beetle. “What?!” 

“If it rips you apart, it’ll go mad alright… from joy!”

Pained sounds escaped the beetle as it trembled in its suspended state. One wrong move would mean the end. Now that the bug was immobilized, it was safe for Kyogen to pull herself up as Kakyoin did the same. She dusted her school uniform off, thankful that it was still clean. Kakyoin's plan became clear and she cursed at herself for not realizing it sooner. “Hierophant’s appendages had already slipped beneath the sheets. Didn’t you realize I was trapping you there with the Emerald Splash?” 

The bug twitched and got pulled into bits as the appendages yanked it apart. The old man that Sharpnote had moved to a chair jerked up, screaming. A dark imprint of a beetle began to appear on his tongue as it blackened and split apart. Kyogen looked away as blood spurted from his head and he went limp. She didn’t know how to feel. Relieved that the danger was over, conflicted that she’d sent Sharpnote to aid this man, nauseated by the things the man did.

“So that old geezer was the Stand user?” Kakyoin asked. He took out a handkerchief and wiped at the blood running down his chin. “A repulsive Stand usually has a repulsive user.”

The group gathered around the dead man’s body, although Kyogen went back to her chair and collapsed in it. She was mentally exhausted from the event and wanted to find some semblance of peace in the form of sleep. Hopefully without nightmares. 

Kakyoin stared at the man and messed with the end of his hair strand. “It doesn’t appear that he has Dio’s flesh bud in his forehead…” Kakyoin mused. 

Avdol sat back down next to her after draping a sheet over the body. The other three chose to stand in the aisle. “From the start, Tower of Gray was an evil Stand that killed tourists, making it look like an accident only in return for payment. I’m sure Dio was able to use him because he was easily bought, and blinded by greed.” 

Kyogen was slipping in and out of sleep until her body tilted and hit the wall. She straightened up and groaned inwardly. Sleep would be so nice right now.

“Something’s wrong,” Joseph said. Kyogen growled underneath her breath. “I could be imagining it, but it seems like the plane is flying crooked.”

“It is crooked, Joestar-sama,” Kyogen mumbled. 

The older man jolted. “I-It can’t be!” He began to make his way to the front of the plane. 

The rest of the males shared a look and Kyogen screamed silently as they began following Joseph. The girl plodded along after them, her blank face a little more dead-looking than before, and her ponytail mussed up from sleep. She couldn’t quite see what was happening as they reached the door to the cockpit because of how absurdly tall everyone was. Sticking her head out from behind Avdol, she saw Kakyoin with two attendant ladies in his arms. He seemed to be murmuring comforts to them and Kyogen raised an eyebrow.

Kakyoin gently pushed them aside to make way. The cockpit door was wide open as she stepped in after Avdol and bore witness to the scene before her. The bodies of the pilot were all slumped over, their tongues missing from their mouth. 

Joseph went up to the controls and bent down, looking at them “It’s falling,” he said. “And the autopilot’s been destroyed as well. We’re going to crash!”

Kyogen decided at that moment that she really hated planes as well. There was a loud splat behind her and ugly laughter. Kyogen whipped around, face twisted into a scowl when she saw the old man. 

He was somehow alive and walking, although he looked worse for wear. “I am the Stand that holds The Tower card which suggests accidents at the end of a journey,” he declared, pointing a finger at the group. “You will not reach Lord Dio! Even if you survive this crash, you are 6,213 miles from Egypt! Those who swore loyalty to Dio will pursue you every hour of the day! There are Stands in this world that you can’t even imagine. Lord Dio is the master of Stands! He has the power to reign over them, you bastards will never reach Egypt!”

Kyogen turned away from him as he fell down into a pool of his own blood. The attendant ladies gasped in fear as they saw the old man’s body.

“You’re definitely professionals,” Jotaro said, settling himself onto the pilot seat next to Joseph. “It’s a good thing you didn’t scream, that would have been annoying. Now, I have a request. This old man is going to emergency land this plane on the water. Go put life jackets and seat belts on all of the other passengers. “

“G-Got it!” They both bolted away.

Jotaro turned to Joseph. “Old man,” he said to Joseph, silently asking the question they all had on their minds.

“Well… I have experience with propeller planes. But Jotaro… this is my third time. Have you ever heard of someone being in a crashing plane three times?”

Kyogen’s legs got weak as she sighed forcefully through her nose. Planes, national public enemy number two on her list.

“I’m never going to ride on a plane with you again,” Jotaro said. “You three, grab our belongings and get buckled up. It’s going to be a rough ride.”

Kyogen didn’t wait to hear it a second time and gingerly stepped around the bloodied body in the hallway. “Come on, Kakyoin, Avdol. We need to grab our stuff from the overhead baggage and get ready to land.”

The other two followed her and they passed the attendant ladies frantically handing out live vests. Kyogen snagged three and passed the other two to Avdol and Kakyoin. They reached their seats and Kyogen waited for Kakyoin to pass down the baggage, being too short to reach the overhead compartment herself.

“I’ll take either Mr. Joestar’s or Kujo’s bag,” Kyogen said. “I have the least baggage to carry.”

“Are you, sure?” Kakyoin asked. “Avdol and I can carry them.” “Yes.”

Kakyoin passed a black duffle bag to her and Kyogen sat down with it. She pulled hers from the under-seat compartment and settled down. Her hands trembled as she buckled the seatbelt and Kyogen’s heart was pounding. She squeezed her eyes closed. Jeez, she just faced off against an assassin but she was more terrified of an airplane crashing? 

A warm hand settled on her shoulder and Kyogen snapped her head to face the person. “It’s okay, Wind.” He soothed. “The plane has safety precautions which will make a water landing much smoother.”

Kyogen gave him a stiff nod. 

All she could do now is to wait.

[reblogthiscrapkay]

The Myth of Persephone in “Mythic” The Musical

Most of these Persephone Project posts are for books or chapters of books so it’s always exciting and mildly anxiety-inducing to encounter a visual medium to write about. I’ve only done one musical in these Persephone Project write-ups and that was for my favorite musical, Hadestown. Now the myth of Persephone is underlying in that musical, which is part of what made writing about it a unique experience and I eventually expanded and edited my original write-up for the Hadestown Zine. But then my buddy Suzi told me about this musical. It took me a while to work up the nerve to listen to it as it’s a teen pop rock musical version of the myth of Persephone. If you couldn’t tell from me saying Hadestown is my favorite musical, I should say that teen musicals are not really my thing. I think “Heathers” is the only one I would cite as really liking. I wasn’t even into teen musicals when I was a teen. But in the interest of post consistency, I’m going to divide this into two parts: one where I specifically talk about the way the myth is done and one where I just talk about the show. The Myth In this version of the myth we get a lot of interesting character development for Persephone and Demeter that is happening concurrently throughout the show. Because of the “teen musical” concept the main theme is heavy on the ideas of growing up, finding one’s place in the world, and accepting your children’s adulthood.

To zero in on Persephone first, we find out somewhat repeatedly throughout the first three songs that she has lived her whole life on Earth and hasn’t really met the other gods but is motivated by a desire to find a place where she feels like she belongs. We get the sense that she feels smothered by her mother, a bit superfluous next her mother, and that while she’s okay with her life she hasn’t seen enough of the world to feel like she’s sure she wants to stay where she is. She wants her own purpose basically. The idea of shifting a focus to Persephone and giving her these motivations gets an A+ from me and is obviously a common feature of modern adaptions of the myth (I think this is most comparable to George O’Connor’s Hades comic).

She bumps into Aphrodite and convinces her to take her to a party Zeus is throwing for Athena (Aphrodite and Zeus are main characters numbers 4 and 5, by the way, and have their own motivations that I will get to). Seph says some not at all nice things to her mother before she leaves when Demeter tries to stop her. At the party Persephone doesn’t really have much fun and bumps into Hades who has come to yell at Zeus about a surplus of virgins in the Underworld. They chit chat a bit, she tells him he’s nice and he denies it, but this is an establishing of their chemistry. Another common trope in modern retellings: having them meet before going under.

Aphrodite then decides she wants to “stir shit up” and plans to do that by getting Hades to hook up with her. He shoots her down and as revenge she curses him to kiss Persephone (who I think is also cursed because she goes from “wow, my first kiss” to “take me to bed” in literally twenty seconds). Now the idea of their relationship starting from a love god’s influence is an interesting detail that is uncommon but certainly not unheard of. Ovid did it as was the case with Allison Shaw’s Persephone comic but I think both of those used Eros instead of Aphrodite. Either way, the force of their passion (or like, the force of Hades’ horniness at this point) leads to them going underground and Aphrodite is immediately sorry for what she did. We get this unique detail about how spells are broken underground which I’ve never heard before but kind of organically makes sense. Like, why would earth/sky god magic have any effect in the land of the dead? It works.

Once underground, they break apart and get awkward. I haven’t really addressed it yet but the interpretation of Hades in this one has elements I have never seen. First of all, his primary motivation in this one is just to be left alone. Persephone asks him to take her home and he tells her he can only go above ground once every six months. This six months rule I have really never heard of but I guess it does set the audience up for six months being an important concept later on and provides a reason for him to not help her. I mean, that reason could have been a lot of other things but it’s a reason. He then tells her to just go away and stay out of trouble and when they meet up later he apologizes for getting her stuck down there but basically says there’s nothing he can do. Overall, his characterization at this point reads as someone who is trying very hard to be perceived a certain way (a “deep, dark damaged soul”) but is actually just kind of socially awkward and not in any way bad.

Alone Persephone basically decides to go around sprucing up the Underworld through interactions with Charon, Ascalaphus, and Minos. Hades gets annoyed about it (annoyance is kind of his primary emotion) and after he thinks about locking her up over it, they have a heart-to-heart about his daddy issues and this reputation he never wanted. It’s kind of their starting to fall in love moment. Persephone then gets attacked by furies and Hades saves her. They have another actually falling in love moment where Persephone convinces him that the Underworld is actually kind of great and he believes her.

This should clinch things for their relationship but then Aphrodite shows up in the Underworld to try to fix things (a thing that definitely never happens and also kind of can’t) and Hades tells Persephone to go with her because he seems convinced that his feelings are still a part of the spell or something. Persephone refuses and basically tells him off that she likes it here and runs away. Then she chooses to eat the pomegranate mostly for personal reasons but one seed is definitely for “the guy I love”. The whole interaction is curiously hostile. It leaves me in this weird place of wondering if I should even be supporting this relationship.

After eating, Demeter shows up (again, a thing she probably can’t do) and she and Persephone make up and offer some tearful goodbyes since Persephone can’t leave now. Hades comes after hearing about the seeds, apologizes, offers to make her Queen of the Dead, and they kiss or something. Then Aphrodite and Zeus show up (WTF) for some Zeus Ex Machina that doesn’t work. Persephone gives Demeter back her powers since she’s Queen, which she lost going underground I guess because of the established curse rule but it’s kind of flimsy, and Demeter sets the six months rule since she is the maker of fruit anyway. While this ending feels sloppy in a lot of ways, I like the idea that Persephone and Demeter did these things for each other. I just wish Demeter’s decision didn’t come off so self serving and this probably could have been solved with a tip from, of all things, the Hercules: The Legendary Journeys interpretation where Persephone says outright that she doesn’t want to be forced to chose between them. At least it’s better than Zeus setting the rule, which is how it is in basically every other telling (except like, Hadestown). 

In Demeter’s concurrent plot, her primary motivation is find Persephone, of course, but to do this she has to get over this fact that everyone thinks of her as a lesser goddess without any real power. This was really strange to me, but that set up does pay off. She takes down a cyclops, confronts Zeus (a thing from most myths!), and then destroys the crops on hearing what happened to Persephone (also good). So her story is actually fairly in line with a lot of myth retellings except for this inferiority thing. Where does this come from? Well, that’s where her plot rubs up against Zeus (and also Aphrodite and implicitly Hades). Zeus’ primary motivation is to stay in charge and part of how he does this is by belittling everyone else. The Act 2 reveal for Demeter is that Zeus was lying about her weakness, and she’s only been operating on half a tank forever. Effectively, Zeus is the antagonist of the story. Kind of interesting since in a lot of versions of this myth, Zeus approving Hades suit of Persephone or alternatively offering Persephone to him, is the catalyst to the rest of the story, but this is seen as a neutral thing.

Overall, there were some interesting choices in adapting this myth to a musical for a teen audience. I feel like the Demeter plot works really well and that the Persephone plot works pretty well too. The problem I have is with how the Hades and Persephone aspect of this story is handled. It has a lot of great notes to it, but it doesn’t really come together because of the need for frequent denials and a sort of uncomfortableness with Hades character. From a strict story perspective, the concept of Hades and how his relationship to Seph develops is one of the weakest things about the book.

So that leads me to... The Musical

This musical is, uh, kind of a mess. 

As I said before, the ending is really sloppy and the book handles Hades’ character and his relationship with Persephone really poorly. Aside from eliminating or reframing some of those million times he denies her, I think the musical could have really benefited from a song or a dialogue scene where Hades is the main character. Persephone and Demeter have really well developed motivations and personalities because they have a lot of moments where they are speaking more to themselves than anyone else and we can see what they really think and feel. Aphrodite gets a few moments of this in act one and a whole song (that I dislike so much I can’t even listen to it) in act two. Zeus has a whole song explaining his drive. But every Hades song is in the context of him speaking to Persephone with the exception of a very brief moment in “Summer All The Time” where we get an initial vibe for who he is. A moment in act two when we can actually see his real thoughts and feelings towards Persephone would do a lot for making their relationship (and maybe even his denials of her) make sense. I really like the two songs they have together but the utility of those songs is different from actually showing what Hades really feels.

There are other weird book issues, the relationships between Zeus, Hades, and their father springs to mind, but I gotta move on.

To talk a bit more about the music and lyrics, this musical has a lot of cringe. Like, a lot. I have a whole document of the cringiest lines in it and it’s much longer than my lists of “ridiculous but great” lines and “just great” lines. There are so many failed attempts at being hip that I physically cringe when I listen to the soundtrack and after 20+ times I’m still cringing. I get that it’s directed at a teen audience, but I work with teenagers. I know they would cringe with me. The lyrics that aren’t cringe have a tendency to be kind of trite or unmemorable. I think Demeter’s songs are the least cringe, but they’re also some of the least interesting musically. The music overall is kind of blandly enjoyable really. The songs are fun mostly and I do really like some of them (”My Own Place In The Pantheon” is cute, “Mess Around” makes me want to dance, “Dark, Damaged Soul” is so cringe that it loops back around to fun pop punk, “Rebellious Children” makes me laugh, and both “Not A Chance In Hell” and “Beauty In The Darkness” give me some feelings) but none are a brilliant work that I would send to my non-musical friends as purely a good song. 

So about the acting and singing. Well, let me be clear that I did not see either the London or the Montreal productions (although tragically I think the London production was running at a time I was in London and Montreal is a long but not in any way unreasonable drive from my house so I’m not pleased to discover this musical so late). My opinion is based on the London soundtrack and an audio bootleg of the Montreal show (which is how I know all the dialogue bits too). 

I think London Persephone has a better voice but Montreal Persephone makes better acting choices (pitches her voice down a bit so she sounds a bit more mature, reads lines in much more reasonable ways, etc).

Both Demeters are good singers but I think Montreal Demeter makes better acting choices. She feels more authentically Demeter to me by mitigating the coward aspects of London Demeter.

Between Hadeses there is no contest. I love London Hades’ voice. As a Hadestown fan I was skeptical of a tenor Hades but his voice has this very beautiful sound in the lower notes (he doesn’t sound like Michael Arden but Michael Arden’s voice also has this quality and I love it) and it’s very powerful and he has just the right vibe to sell it. Montreal Hades has a very reedy voice and overall gives off a distinct whiny teen vibe that is just all wrong. Young Hades I am totally fine with in a story like this but he has to be mature to compensate.

Both Aphrodites are great. The character of Aphrodite is a type, and I’m fairly certain you will always be able to find a good Aphrodite.

The Zeus situation is weird because the interpretations of Zeus are wildly different in both productions. London Zeus has a nasally voice and a kind of guido look and vibe that I think works great. He’s really slimy. I feel like he’s going to pull out a wad of cash to make someone sleep with the fishes. Montreal Zeus is more big personality gospel singer and is styled accordingly. It doesn’t feel right for the character as written but it’s a fully integrated performance.

For our minor Underworld characters, they were all male in London but Montreal made Ascalaphus and Minos women, which I wholly cosign but I think Minos should have been an alto. Also Alecto is in it but male which is weird because Alecto is female. She’s a fury. Basically they genderbent everyone but Charon, I guess. Okay.

If you’ve got a choice of which to listen to (like if you have a Montreal hook-up) I still say go with London overall. It’s on YouTube.

So finally, I’m going to talk about the aesthetic. Both shows seemed to have really minimalist sets, which I’d kind of have to see in action to understand. It seems like an odd choice but it might just be a cost effective one. Every image from London looks more like a concert than a show (by product of the success of Six, maybe?) but the Montreal shots look a bit more “acting-y.”

As for costumes, oh boy. Let me present an image of our mains from London:

So let me ignore the obvious for a second to say that Demeter in both shows is very hippie and Aphrodite is always blonde and wearing some kind of shiny silver thing. Both of these things work. The Zeus’ as I said before are very different but tailored to the performance being given.

Now, um

A list of responses from my musical-going and myth-aware friends about this picture: * That is NOT THEM. * Oh no. * Looks like the costume designer was really inspired by American Idiot. * This takes me right back to high school in 2003. For the reference this is Persephone’s underworld look specifically but since her above ground look is a black t-shirt, jean shorts, fishnet tights, and Converse it’s not much of a change. I think both shows adopt this idea that the Underworld changes your wardrobe.

This mid-2000s pop punk styling is just a weird choice all around (although you could argue that Hades is actually more classic punk while Persephone is very specifically mid-2000s but still). On a more minor note, what’s with the hair? I mean there’s nothing saying you can’t have a blonde Persephone but why do this when you already have two other blondes in the main cast? Usually Persephone is a redhead or has brown hair and that would have been nice. With Hades hair I don’t even know what to say aside from why? I’m not going to say that Hades should only have dark, grey, or white hair depending on age (I’m gonna think it though) but this was a really curious choice. Also, the facial hair. Is that a John Waters mustache or am I losing my mind?

Montreal did a lot better here.

Hades’ look is solid. I like the warlock coat and how it’s kind of a fast track to intimidating. I like how without it he’s kind of at an intersection of art student and goth. It’s all good. I don’t even mind the hair because at least it’s not silly.

Persephone’s look is fine. I’m a little ruined by my friend pointing out that her above ground outfit is really 70s, but I’m trying to forget it. It’s better; I didn’t say it was the best they could do. Her underworld look is a great idea but that dress looks really unflattering to me. Maybe something like a black leather-y obi belt would really improve the shape and bring a bit more underworld to the look. Not sure what’s going on in the middle picture unless she has two underworld outfits but it looks fine. The barrettes were definitely a choice. Was flowers too obvious? Flowers would be better.

Also, Ascalaphus is adorable.

So in conclusion, someone hire me to red pen this musical so it can be good enough to continue its life after covid. I have a special place in my heart for flawed musicals that need a good red penning. 

[sebthesnipe]

The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagain An Analysis? Chapter 3 Part 2

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 3: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer

by @whatwashernameagain

Reminder: Spoilers under cut!

As Always if you have not done so please read @whatwashernameagain ‘s The Dreamer Chapter 3 before you continue. This analysis is pretty much a giant spoiler if you haven’t.

Also, you can find additional links to The Dreamer analysis on AO3 (and other works by me) here on my masterpost.

Warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, republican brainwashing, manipulation, mentioned pedophilia, violence, threatened sexual abuse, injuries, being pressured into sex, nakedness

Gonna just jump back in…

“Being kind as usual, no one chastised Roman for not capturing the Utilitarianist while he was recovering” (Whatwashernameagain).

Though Eva has never specifically said that Roman’s team is out to get him the dramatic irony is certainly implied. She has a way with directing the storyline through these paces to inform the reader that there is nothing ‘kind’ about Roman’s team. Whatever reason they have for not commenting on Roman’s failure to capture the Utilitarianist it is unlikely that it is out of the goodness of their hearts.

“Virgil was anxiously pacing around the bed as he came to, guilty and confused about why he’d been unable to track his friend. The poor thing, he was way too paranoid. Roman did his best to calm him” (Whatwashernameagain).

We see a bit into Virgil’s personality here. It is actually quite interesting if we pay close attention. Here Virgil is showing his anxious side. His guilt and confusion are moving him from his flat characterization (a character that is used to reveal information to push the story along) to a more rounded character. His guilt and confusion provide more insight into his emotional state, making him more developed.

Something, I find just as interesting is that the word ‘paranoid’ is used to describe him. While we as readers know that this is very fitting for the Virgil that is the personification of Anxiety. However, as a handler it is a bit… extreme. Here is a man meant to guide Roman through danger after danger. A typical person would need someone calm and collected in those intense situations. However, Virgil is not a calm and collected individual. Then again, Roman is not a typical individual. Perhaps, this opposition between the two personalities is intentional. I wouldn’t put it past Eva to think quite thoroughly through choosing Virgil as Roman’s handler, just as he was very thorough at choosing Remy as Logan’s. Roman’s… impulsivity *cough*adorable stupidity*cough* is the perfect balance for Virgil’s extreme paranoia and vice versa. For someone wanting to run into every burning building, someone jumping at every shadow can help remind him of his own mortality.

Speaking of more rounded characters, our boi Roman is making some progress himself.

“Despite not being in trouble for getting captured, the rescue had gotten to the media and was fueling the theories about the Dreamer and the Utilitarianist - to a worrying degree. It bothered Roman, since it was clearly ludicrous that he would fall for someone so irritating and immoral, but at least now that Virgil kept him updated, he wasn’t so ashamed anymore” (Whatwashernameagain).

I won’t go into our poor poor Roman’s denial again, but I don’t think it needs to be pointed out here anyways. We all see it. Though, I suppose the constant reminder is some strong foreshadowing. Though we can see Roman’s conscious opinion of Logan. He continues to call him irritating and immoral and perhaps Roman truly believes he is, though more likely subconsciously Roman find him heroic and misguided. The good news is that despite the unwanted publicity Roman is far more secure that he was prior thanks to Virgil.

Teal Swan (An American Spiritual Teacher) once said “We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we think we know about the unknown.” In Roman’s case, he was presented with a collection of hardcore BDSM fan art of himself and The Utilitarianist. The pictures themselves did not scare him, pictures themselves are not scary. However, it is what he thought he knew of the people who created them that scared him. It wasn’t until Virgil educated him that this changed. Roman’s knowledge of this ‘unknown’ grew and what he thought he knew shifted. Suddenly, these images weren’t so scary anymore. (That and he thinks he’s straight which is amusing AF).

Lillian Russell also once said “We all have a fear of the unknown. What one does with that fear will make all the difference in the world.” Roman may have allowed his fear to overpower him for a moment but he chose to stand against it and thus overcame it (with Virgil’s help of course). I realize that this is a bit off topic, but it is something that I feel needs to be said, especially now. The world around us is falling apart are there is no one hero to save us. Some people believe that this is the natural world fighting back against us, others believe it is a religious occurrence. I can’t say one way or another, but I do know that the fear is the same no matter the reasons behind this virus that is taking so many lives.

I can’t say for other countries or even other states, but the reaction to this pandemic that I have seen is heartbreaking. My family and I don’t go out, not because of fear of contracting the virus, but because of people’s reaction to the fear they feel. Fear is a strong motivator that causes conflicts among thousands of people every day. It is a virus in and of itself, breeding and spreading wherever it goes. The world is terrified, and it is our job to react appropriately to these fears, as individuals. You can’t control your neighbor’s reaction to their fear, but you can control your own and sometimes that is enough. Sometimes that enough to calm those around you. Perhaps you can be the beacon of hope that they need to find their own stability. Perhaps you can be the difference in their world.

Okay… Rant over… Back to the wonderful writing!

“Yes, the implication of being in a homosexual relationship and performing sodomy with his nemesis, something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes, still made heat rise into his cheeks, but he couldn’t help softening towards the mostly harmless fanculture” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay, lets pay really close attention to the wording here because it is very important! Eva knows what she’s doing, the sly dog! Roman POV points out that the homosexual relationship that is painted between he and Logan is ‘something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes’. Hold up! Rewind! ‘Something he’d been taught’. No where in this section does Roman’s POV ever claim that Roman, himself, believes that it is wrong. He points out that he is taught that it is wrong, but once again we see the same impressionable boy I’ve mentioned throughout the previous chapters. A child’s thoughts is not their own, but their parents.

Since the last time I mentioned this, I have actually looked further into research behind this view (having children of my own, I find it even more compelling). A study from Cambridge University, published in 2013 points out that “Children are more likely to adopt their family's political views when politics is important to their parents, and the children of politically engaged parents tend to become politically engaged adults” (Dinas, Elias). Is this starting to sound familiar? Well, hold onto your trousers (if you’re wearing any) because it gets better. “When these transmission dynamics are considered together, an important hypothesis follows: the children who are most likely to initially acquire the political views of their parents are also most likely to later abandon them as a result of their own engagement with the political world” (Dinas, Elias). So, Roman is most likely getting his political views from his father through he’s more likely to lose those views as he gets older. Perhaps, we are seeing this now? He has never claimed to have the same beliefs, though he has pointed out that he has been thought them. So, the question is, when? When, if ever, will Roman discard these beliefs?

Well, other research shows that “Young people from politicised homes may be more likely to acquire an initial partisan orientation from their parents, but they are also more likely to abandon that preference as they enter adulthood and experience politics for themselves” (2013). So, most children who have adopted their parent’s belief like Roman has tend to shed those beliefs as they experience the real world and grow into adults. Here is where things change for RoRo. Firstly, he's never really experienced the world without his father or the team his father has provided to look after him. So, no real-world experience. Secondly, from what we have gathered Roman is still fairly young. Most likely, he’s in his mid-twenties, Logan being around thirty. So, Roman has also only been an adult for a few years now. That combined with the fact that he is just now breaking away from his father’s influence long enough to experience the world around him makes his realization that he does not have the same belief system that he once shared with his father inevitable. My only concern is that the possibility of Roman having an identity crisis due to his discovery of an isolated belief system. The poor boy is going to have a hard-enough time when he realizes he is gay… but to have his beliefs stripped away and rebuilt after defining himself by them so completely is going to be harder than anything he has ever faced.

I have barely managed to get through two paragraphs… Oof… We’re going to have to skim a bit if I’m going to get through this chapter in just four parts. We see Roman’s view points on LGBTQ+ community and his purity that we love so much! Then we see Karen’s (-.- You’re so F*ing static Karen!) view point of it. She suggests that they pray for them and their ‘wrong’ doings. Which would send me on a rant about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and the human constructions that they are… and morality… and we’re just going to skip all that ^.^.

I’m going to brush past a lot of the dialog here but there are somethings that I want to touch on. Firstly, Eva uses verbal irony so beautifully that it hurts. Karen mentions that the LGBTQ+ community’s allegiance shows ‘the damage [the community’s] lifestyle had done to [the community’s] morals’ and asks Roman if he wants to ‘help people see a more healthy way to live’ (Whatwashernameagain). What Karen is really implying is that all of these people are sinful and need to be punished for the atrocities of their life choices. Karen’s pleasant tone and careful wording helps conceal the real meaning of her words which makes the verbal irony here quite beautifully written. Though what do we expect from Eva?

Before Roman can give his full reply, she cuts him off like the bitch she is…

I might be projecting a bit… I apologize…

Though, I also want to point out that during the interaction between Karen and Roman she never refers to him as anything but ‘dear’. Now, this is probably a me thing, but I can’t help myself. So, if you’ve read all of my analysis, you’d know that I have a background in Law Enforcement. Why is this important? Well, one of the first lessons you learn as a woman in Law Enforcement is that you don’t ever, EVER, allow someone to get away with calling you anything but Officer, Ma’am, or by your last name. Now, it might not seem that important to most people, but how can you expect someone to respect you if they continuously call you ‘girl’, ‘baby’, ‘sweetheart’, or ‘dear’. These are pet names. There is no respect to be had when someone is calling you by a pet name… at least not in a professional sense (romantic relationships are a different story. My husband can call me baby anytime he wants, and I still know that he respects me). Granted, there are some people that do this unconsciously. I’ve seen it mostly in older men who call every woman younger than them ‘sugar’ or ‘darlin’.

Still, there is a problem presented here. I’ve mentioned a number of times throughout this analysis of our thoughts effect on the outside world (specifically water and thus ourselves). A person can mean no disrespect by calling someone in an authoritative position ‘dear’ and yet by doing so, they effect their own thoughts, even subconsciously, resulting in a disrespect they may not even be aware of.

Karen provides us with a prime example of this. She calls Roman ‘dear’ because she has no respect for him. In her eyes, Roman is nothing but a tool to be used for her own gain. He holds no respect from her. He is merely a child to be manipulated however she sees fits. Hence, while she is maneuvering the hero to where she wants him, she refers to him as ‘dear’.

The next issue is that Roman is putty in her hands. The next paragraph is a reminder of Roman’s gullible nature. We see him easing into Karen’s manipulations and blaming himself once more. We see the same self-deprecation that has become a Roman original. It reminds us that Roman’s insecurities are yet another tool that his team uses against him. I believe I have mention something similar to this before, but in the words of Napoleon Hill “The only limitation is that which one sets up in one’s own mine.” In other words, Roman is limiting himself with his self-insulting nature. Once he allows himself to let go of that he will be a force to reckon with, someone even Karen’s bitch-ass can’t handle.

However, we see another indication that Roman’s views no longer match up with his team’s. Though it is obvious once again that his tendencies to put himself down really hinder him from being the hero that he has always dreamed of being.  

“The fact that he wasn’t all that bothered by the shipping was probably making it worse. He was forgetting that his personal opinion wasn’t what mattered here” (Whatwashernameagain).

We also see him try to reaffirm his thoughts of Logan. He has to remind himself that his current thoughts of Logan are not what they are supposed to be. Logan is the Utilitarianist and the Utilitarianist is still his archenemy. Roman, still in denial, is trying to recenter himself for the task at hand. Of course, this also brings up the sense of paranoia that Karen is helping sew inside him. This conflict of course is more than just what it seems.

Roman’s dilemma of right and wrong is also a battle of his sexuality. It is a battler of his views. It is a battle of who he is. Is Roman the man that found comfort in another man’s arms? Or is Roman the man who subjected himself to torture to be what he thought the world needed? Is he larger than life or at the end of a day is he as vulnerable to his emotions as the rest of us are?

We also see more of that dramatic irony as Karen plants the notion that the Utilitarianist did not help individuals. While, for the most part this is true, there is more to this. We know that as the Utilitarianist Logan pays no attention to the individual. In that aspect Karen is correct. However, Logan has shown on more than one occasion, his appreciation for Roman’s work and his appreciation for Roman himself. This would imply that Karen is correct; The Utilitarianist does not help individuals just as the Dreamer would never seek the help of a villain. However, Logan would help an individual, just as Roman would seek comfort from another. These men are more than their uniform despite what Karen would have them believe.

Eva moves into foreshadowing with a simple sentence, a perfectly places three word sentence that hits us all where it hurts:

“Roman’s heart sank” (Whatwashernameagain).

Whatever is about to come is gonna hurt…

Karen claims they have found a way to fix the entire situation caused by the rescue… Still calling my bae ‘dear’ -.- Most of us know where this is going and…

Susan…

By the way, I love these horribly generic cis white names that Eva keeps coming up with. It’s hilarious. As for Susan’s description…

“Flipping open the file, Roman found that the solution was called Susan. She was a white woman with blonde hair and cornflower-blue eyes. Upper middle class. Conservative” (Whatwashernameagain).

I have so many issues with this… First off, leave it to these assholes to chiose a nazi’s wet dream for our boi. (No offense Eva, I love you and I think it was a perfect choice <3) So, to start off, they chose a woman that conform’s to America’s unrealistic standards of beauty. I’m sure she where’s far too much make up and could have any man in the world. This, of course, is in no way a shot at woman that look like this. Every person is beautiful, and I will not body shame someone no matter how they look. However, it is obvious that Eva created Susan to conform to these standards and thus needs to be addressed. The fact that Susan is Middle class is also a deliberate choice in the sense that if they chose a woman that was any higher Roman would be seen as greedy and shallow and if he were to be seen with someone of the lower class, he would lose funding. As for Conservative… Well… I don’t think I need to say anything here.

I’m going to move on before I get too annoyed with this. As we move forward, Karen notes that Roman looks spooked. This is call indirect characterization, which is when another character tells us something about a character. In this case Eva is using Karen to reinforce that Roman is uncomfortable with the opposite sex or romantic relations in general. Though as a reader we already are aware of the ship this fic is based around, so we know that the later probably isn’t true. Karen also refers to Susan as ‘A little friend’ which is very demeaning and implies that Karen sees Susan the same way she sees Roman, as a tool. It is obvious that Karen believes Roman can be persuaded by sex though his uncomfortable nature certainly speaks otherwise.

This also highlights a bit of the Right wing’s thoughts on women in general and how they should be treated though I feel as if I should refrain from pushing my own opinions on their beliefs into this analysis. However, in extremists’ case (both men and women) have repeated claimed that women have a specific ‘role’ in society, and it is not equal to their male counter parts. Now, the fact that I disagree may label me as a feminist, but I prefer the label of equalist as you will note when we get into the heartier bits of this chapter.

I once again want to remind everyone of the warning attached to this chapter. They are there for a reason, please pay attention to them.

“Roman stared at her, trying to find words for the sudden fear he felt. Laughter about his shocked expression filled the room, then quieted and finally tapered off into awkward silence.

“I… I need to think about it.” Roman had finally stuttered. Karen’s smile had grown forced” (Whatwashernameagain).

Here we see Roman faced with fear that is not surprising in an individual that has not realized he is homosexual. In fact, it is a very real and horrible feeling. I mentioned in my last post the fact that mental anguish can feel worse than physical and here we see a man being mentally tortured.

In a previous chapter I also discussed Roman’s inability to watch porn. Imagine, if you will, a man who has not accepted himself for who he is and can not allow himself the thought of two men together. Therefore, gay porn does not exist to him. Instead the only porn he knows of is male+female. The thought of sex with a female makes him uncomfortable and/or squeamish. He does not need to realize that he is gay to know this and instead probably thinks there is something wrong with himself. So, perhaps it is not the Roman is different from every other (sexually driven (because I realize there are different sexualities that do not have the same urges)) American’s out there, he is not alone, it is just that he doesn’t understand his own preferences. Our poor baby has never been taught how to cope in a heterosexual driven world and thus buries his true self from everyone including himself. This would make the forced relationship between himself and Susan all the more painful, no doubt.

As if to prove my point, Eva describes the room’s laughter at Roman’s hesitance. No doubt they know he is gay even if he doesn’t and finds his torture amusing. Though, our poor naïve RoRo probably doesn’t see it that way.

““Think about it? But of course, dear. We just want you to have a coffee together, go on a walk. If she’s not the right one for you, we can surely find another lady friend for you. Is it the hair color? The figure? We are very flexible for your preferences. Within a reasonable limit, of course.” She soothed him, patting his hand again” (Whatwashernameagain).

Karen of course, senses these things and tries to reassure Roman. She reminds him that their relationship doesn’t have to be sexual, in her subtle way. She also adds that if he doesn’t like Susan, they can find someone else more suited to his needs. However, she pointedly adds that it has to be ‘another lady friend’, which of course would imply that she is aware the Roman might be gay as well, and that it is unacceptable.

We also see Karen discussing women as if they can be ordered off a menu. I’ll take a five four Hispanic woman, hold the curves! Bitch please! You’re an over glorified pimp at this point! No one should be characterized in this manner, men, women, or non-binary! It is an outrage and the fact that it is so upsetting while still so subtle is another nod to how amazingly skilled the author is. Eva astounds us once again by creating a realistic subtle lifelike villain. Brava, Brava!

Roman sees Karen’s intended words as well, which is a development for the naïve man. He sees exactly what his limitations are:

“A reasonable limit meaning white, Christian, conservative, born American, cis, heterosexual female, his mind supplied. Suddenly, he felt terrible. His stomach hurt” (Whatwashernameagain).

By choosing a woman of these standards, Roman would be checking off all the boxes for his far Right winged team. If he misses any of these boxes it could send the wrong message. If she’s anything but heterosexual, then he supports LGBTQ+ communities. If she’s of any other culture, then he supports the minorities. If she is not conservative, then neither is he.

This is a big moment for the hero. He is finally grasping the idea of just how trapped he is there. He may be one of the strongest people in the world but the chains around him are heavier than those of a man in prison.

Still, fear is a powerful motivator and when faced with too much our instincts kick in. Roman faces his fight or flight instincts and fighting is not an option. So, he gives in. He agrees to Susan because what else can he do?

Still, ignoring the comment about men being men, that Eva know doubt added to hammer that last nail in Karen’s well-deserved coffin, we see more of Roman’s inner turmoil with his sexuality. “He tried not to think about the disastrous attempts at dating women, of the many nights he’d prayed to god to make him stop having those terrible thoughts, about his fear of going to hell for his dreams. He’d thought he’d escaped the pressure of going out with women when he’d dedicated his life to fighting for justice.

He buried himself under his blanket and tried not to think of her. This nice, normal girl, and about how wrong he felt imagining touching her” (Whatwashernameagain).

This gives me pause. Up until now it has been Roman’s unaware of his sexuality and at first seems much of the same; and yet, we see him mention dreams. What sort of dreams could Roman be having? Wet dreams of a certain vigilante? Probably nothing so lude, but a girl could dream. Regardless, it is possible that Roman is aware that he is homosexual and is simple repressing the knowledge for his own safety. Because, in a world as hostile as the one he is experiencing… Coming out can be as dangerous as stepping into the middle of a gang war…

     “Children with Politically Engaged Parents Are More Likely to Deviate from Their Parents' Political Views in Adulthood.” EUROPP, 17 May 2013, blogs.lse.ac.uk/europpblog/2013/05/17/children-with-politically-engaged-parents-are-more-likely-to-deviate-from-their-parents-political-views-in-adulthood/#Author.

Dinas, Elias. “Why Does the Apple Fall Far from the Tree? How Early Political Socialization Prompts Parent-Child Dissimilarity.” British Journal of Political Science, vol. 44, no. 4, 2014, pp. 827–852., doi:10.1017/S0007123413000033.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

[shions-heart]

Magic in the Being Human AU

@akaashisstar​ asked me to write a more in-depth explanation of the Infinite Bond in my Being Human ‘verse, and I’ve been meaning to make a post about it, but I thought I’d go ahead and explain how magic works as a whole, as well.

Bits and pieces have been revealed throughout the series, but I know some of you have only read Origins, or have only read The Awakening, etc. so I’ll explain everything here. :)

There’s a difference between “demon” magic, and witch magic. I put “demon” in quotations because the demons of this ‘verse aren’t the demons of Judeo-Christian origin. There exists in this AU a multitude of dimensions existing parallel to the “official” dimension that is “our” world, where our volleyball children live. Most of them have harsh environments with creatures that are violent and would sooner kill and eat you than sit down for tea. Humans, even those with magic, would be hard pressed to survive in them, thus they are designated as “Hell” dimensions, as in trying to live in them would be “hell.”

“Demons” are such creatures that live in these dimensions and have evolved through the magical influence of their dimensions to have sentience and intelligence beyond a regular beast. The higher the “Class” of demon, the more intelligent and powerful they are, though the numbers are in ascending order (kinda confusing). In Hinokoku, Malikra is a Class 1 demon, so he is one of the most powerful and intelligent beings in these Hell dimensions. Imps are around a Class 8 or 9, not very powerful, very low intelligence, etc. Then there are various creatures that serve the higher class demons, such as Hell Hounds (Class 3 or 4), which can shape-shift into humanoid form to suit their masters’ needs, and pleasure demons (Class 4 or 5), which are created through the magic of Class 1 or 2 demons. (Malikra created Kenma from his magic, which is explained in Tides Turning, so while Kenma can’t wield magic, he is a magical being that can shape-shift and be sustained off magical and sexual energy, etc. since that’s how he was specifically created)

(point of reference: I borrow heavily from DnD and Mob Psycho 100 for my inspiration in all of this)

this is getting long, so i’ll continue under the cut

All humans in the volleyball children dimension have an aura which is energy that manifests from their soul. Basically, life energy. The first witches discovered through meditation and different rituals that they could “tap into” their auras and use that energy to manipulate their surroundings. The stronger the aura, the more energy could be used. Once the energy has been depleted, the witch must have a full nights’ rest for the energy to store back up. One can also draw their own energy in small amounts to then store it while it’s being replenished so one has “extra” on hand. Think of it like the energy is water from a faucet filling up a bucket, and you can take water as it’s running to fill up a second bucket (or a third, fourth, fifth, etc). There’s no “maximum” amount of water you can store, but there is a minimum you can hit. i.e. if you use too much water and all your buckets are empty, you are depleted until the running water refills your first bucket at least 1/3 of the way.

The more energy (water) that’s stored, or the less energy (water) used for the spell, the longer the magic (water) can be used. And for someone like Bokuto in Tides Turning, a small amount of energy was basically injected directly into his DNA while he was a fetus, so that’s why magic works differently for him, and he can resist the effects of some spells/magic, as the energy is not just in his aura but his physical body as well (and though that bit can never be maximized, it can’t be depleted either, so even if he runs out of water, there’s always a small amount left he can use). 

(I hope that makes sense!!)

Spells were created to help witches concentrate their energy/magic on the task they want to complete. This was taught down generations. (Demons don’t have to use spells, because they are beings evolved from magic, so it’s an intrinsic part of them, and they can will their energy to do whatever they want. Witches can be taught to will their energy without spells, but it’s very difficult because one stray thought or desire can cause the energy to misfire somehow.)

The strength of one’s aura can be hereditary, which is why The House of the White Rose values magical purity and encourages its members to marry only fellow “pureblood” witches. If one has a weak aura, it’s very difficult or even impossible to wield its energy as magic, so to marry a simple human or a witch of mixed blood can cause the aura to weaken. Magic can be “taken away” from a witch by placing a magical “block” around the receptors in the brain that can “tap into” the energy.

ANYWAY, now to Kat’s original question which is “how does the Infinite Bond work??”

so I go a little more in-depth with this in Igniting Fires, when Iwaizumi and Oikawa cast the Infinite Bond spell in Chapter 2. Here’s a quote from that scene:

“The Infinite Bond is a complicated spell, one that takes years to master, and undoing it is just as difficult, possibly even deadly. It binds the auras of two people together, making it so one can’t go more than a few dozen miles away without them both feeling debilitating nausea, and if either of the two are in distress, the other can feel it and pinpoint the location of their partner. It’s said that the Bond knits the two souls together, and while the connection doesn’t work exactly like telepathy, it’s one that grows stronger the longer it holds and the closer the two are to one another, to the point where one can know intimately what the other is feeling at all times.”

It’s described during the scene as two tendrils of golden energy extending out from Iwaizumi’s chest and Oikawa’s chest, meeting in the middle and curling around each other as they continue forward, until Oikawa’s energy enters Iwaizumi’s chest, and Iwaizumi’s energy enters Oikawa’s while wrapped around each other. They continue to burrow into each chest, still coiling around and around, until the spell is completed. Then, the light from the energy fades but doesn’t retreat. So, essentially, there is a string of Oikawa’s aura tangled with Iwaizumi’s, and vice versa, and it’s still there, physically connecting them (that’s why they can’t go too far from each other without adverse side effects, because the strings will stretch too thin). That’s also why it’s described in Igniting Fires as a warm ball in the chest, with the faintest beat like a second heart, since they’re basically feeling the other’s life through the string.

Through this connection, Iwaizumi can tap into Oikawa’s emotions, and vice versa. They longer they’re connected, the easier it is, until they can send and receive emotions and check in with each other’s emotions as effortlessly as breathing. It’s not a completely open channel. One of them has to essentially open the door to feel it and can close the door if they don’t want to feel it, but the door becomes thinner and thinner as the connection continues until even if it is closed, they’d be able to feel at least traces of the other’s emotions. Also, the stronger the emotion, the more it bleeds through the connection, so if one is having a particularly strong emotion the door might not need to be opened at all for the other to feel it, depending on how thin it is.

It’s the same for Semi and Shirabu! Starting out, they’re not as close as Oikawa and Iwaizumi, obviously (as IwaOi was already established and they’d been a couple for years before bonding), so that’s why they didn’t necessarily feel any different once the spell was complete. But as the years go by, the connection will strengthen and the door will grow thinner. I’m pretty sure Semi opens the door to Shirabu much more often than Shirabu does to Semi (he kind of has to since the White Swan Coven Council used the Infinite Bond spell as a way for Semi to keep track of Shirabu’s emotional state and intervene if he feels Shirabu’s in danger of exploding), but the option is available to Shirabu if he wants to know what Semi’s feeling.

Kat also wanted to know what it was like in A Many Splendored Thing for Shirabu while Semi and Tendou were having sex, and I’m guessing that extends to how Semi felt while Shirabu was with Goshiki. ;P

I’ll explore this more in The Awakening sequel, but for Shirabu, he didn’t feel anything when Semi and Tendou were together for their first time, since that takes place only a couple months after they all move in together and Shirabu was on a demon hunting mission while it was taking place. He would’ve been focused on the fight in that instance. I also don’t think, going forward, he would invade Semi’s privacy like that when he knows he’s with Tendou.

Semi, though, I think he would check in with Shirabu while he’s with Goshiki, just to sort of touch base and make sure everything’s okay. Shirabu and Goshiki didn’t have sex until Goshiki’s 20th birthday, a full year and change after they moved in together, so the door would’ve thinned out some, too. I think he would’ve opened it just a crack to make sure Shirabu was good and comfortable with the situation before closing it to give them privacy. 

Pleasure isn’t an emotion, so they wouldn’t feel each other having sex ahaha. If they checked in during the act they’d probably just feel the love the person has for their partner. I don’t know if they’ll ever open that door while having sex with each other; I’m pretty sure that’d overwhelm them ahaha but . . . it’s not out of the realm of possibility for them to try, I suppose~

[lee-luca]

I read your ZhuiYi fic and it makes me wonder if it’s omegaverse. Not that I mind or anything, it’s just I see this everywhere lol. It’s so cute. Also, no hate, I just don’t get why some people ship LSZ and JL. Aren’t they like cousins? LSZ is LWJ and WWX adopted son and JL is JC and WWX nephew. It’ll be very weird if WWX was JL father-in-law if he is JL uncle at the same time. By the way I’m all about ZHUIYI!!!

Regarding LSZ/JL, even though I don’t really ship them, I’m not squicky about them either. They’re just…there, I guess. A popular ship that I can’t get into for some reason. I suspect LSZ/JL are so popular because they’re the main junior characters–they have significantly more of a backstory than anybody else (we don’t even know how old LJY is orz) so it might be easier to write about them. And it wasn’t like anybody knew they were kinda-sorta cousins in the beginning since LSZ’s relationship to WWX wasn’t revealed until much later. Even then, they weren’t raised together, so I doubt they’d really think of each other as cousins, and WWX (who has always considered himself JL’s uncle and LSZ’s kind-of-parent) might be the only one who would find the situation awkward.

(Anyway, I think the ship gained ground in the English fandom because it was first popular in the Chinese fandom. While I’m not an expert on Chinese culture, from what I’ve seen on Twitter about how some straight Chinese men thought WWX and JYL would get together in CQL, it seems like adopted children aren’t really considered part of the family, which may explain why Madam Jin was so against JYL being alone with WWX at Baifeng. So if we consider all that, LSZ, who is the adopted son of an adopted son, might be a perfectly reasonable partner for JL in (ancient?) Chinese culture.)

I’m leaving the logistics of conception up to the reader to decide. How A-Yu was conceived wasn’t really important to the fic, and I didn’t want to get into all the other common sources of conflicts in omegaverse (e.g. heats, scenting, hierarchy, etc.) because at heart this fic is about emotions and I didn’t want to detract from it. If this were omegaverse…it’d be a much longer fic lol because there’d be a lot of worldbuilding to set up. If you’re interested in how the fic might change (or what questions need to be answered) if it was explicitly set in omegaverse, I’ve listed some bullet points under the cut.

1) Is everybody’s secondary gender common knowledge? Does LSZ know LJY is an omega? Does LJY himself know he’s an omega? What are LSZ and JL’s secondary genders? Do their secondary genders affect LSZ&LJY and LSZ&JL’s relationships? How does this affect LSZ/JL and LSZ/LJY’s compatibility?

- I’d probably work under the assumption that everyone knows everyone’s secondary genders unless they’re being deliberately suppressed. I don’t actually know how ABO would work in GuSu, because it feels like omegas would be educated separately from alphas the way female cultivators are separate from the male cultivators. In which case…would LJY and LSZ manage to preserve their friendship through this separation after they present (assuming LSZ is an alpha)? Their genders alone would prime everybody around them who’s seen their close friendship to assume that they’d get together once they’re of an age to actually be interested in relationships, which itself might influence LSZ to see LJY as a potential partner earlier. In which case…this fic would not exist since they’d be happily together since they were teenagers and I’m sorry JL but you don’t get the chance to kiss LSZ in this AU lol

- What would JL’s secondary gender even be?? Honestly I could see him as any of them, and it would probably barely change the plot. LSZ/JL as an A/A pairing? Good for them, showing the finger to gender norms. It’d have the same problems as a non-omegaverse M/M pairing in that males (like alphas) cannot conceive and are expected to be able to lead their sects, probably frowned upon due to the impossibility of conceiving children and also female cultivators all China over will be weeping that two eligible bachelors have taken each other off the market. LSZ/JL as an A/B pairing? Similar to A/A, honestly. A/O? If JGY was alive he’d be scheming to marry JL off to GuSu, so he could be the undisputed leader of the Jin sect, and everybody would probably have been undermining JL’s ability to be a sect leader since the day he presented, which is…well, actually I don’t really know. I have my own ideas of how this might affect their relationship, but I suspect that you can find more varied opinions by looking up LSZ/JL ABO fics.

- If LSZ is a beta…idk man I doubt it’d do much for the plot, honestly, since betas are almost like normal people and all that’s different in this universe would be LSZ having to deal with is LJY’s omega nature.

2) Is this a typical omegaverse where omegas are considered…well, mostly just breeding cows?

- God I hope not. I want LJY to be able to cultivate. If this is how omegas are viewed, then LJY would probably be an extremely frustrated ball of energy, and there’d be a lot more self-doubt in the fic, including LJY wondering if LSZ even likes omegas (if JL was an alpha or a beta in this AU).

3) Heats. How common are LJY’s heats? Does LSZ help him through them, does LJY deal with them on his own, or does he just use suppressants all those years?

- Assuming that LSZ and LJY did not get together despite being very close A/O friends, and assuming that LSZ still managed to like JL, does LSZ try to help LJY through his heats? Does LJY let him? If suppressants are available, LJY would probably just stay on them throughout the entire marriage, and if they failed he might force LSZ to take A-Yu somewhere far from their home while he deals with it himself. I doubt LSZ would try very hard to help with them, given that he’d either be (1) still hung up over JL in the first year and (2) worried that LJY wouldn’t want to be touched by him in the second and third years.

4) Scenting, marking, and bonding.

- Scenting won’t really be a huge part of the fic plot-wise, I guess, but it would add another layer of “things LJY wishes LSZ did out of love”. He’d be happy to have LSZ’s scent on him (assuming that bonded/marked/married omegas are expected to be marked to as not to attract the attention of other alphas), but he wouldn’t dare to scent LSZ back. And A-Yu would be a wonderful mix of LJY and LSZ’s scents (and A-Yu’s own scent), but it’d just make LJY think about what he’s missing out on.

- Does LSZ mark LJY when they slept together the first time? Does LJY stop him? Who knows. Honestly, it could go either way, and both ways would hurt. Option (A): no marking, no bonding, would result in a marriage that is purely contractual, the way it already is in the fic, but with LJY feeling that this marriage is nothing like what he wants in more ways than just LSZ not loving him. Where is the comfort of having a mark and knowing that your partner wants everyone to know you’re together? Where is the comfort of having a bond and knowing that your partner has willingly bound themselves to you for life? Option (B): marked and bonded. LJY would learn that being marked and bonded means absolutely nothing if LSZ’s heart is not in it. It’s just like a brand, like a mark of possession, except that the owner doesn’t even want to look at what he possesses. Marked and bonded, the feeling of being unwanted is even stronger.

- Okay, but happy ending: after they talk it out, LSZ might scent LJY and ask to be scented back right before they fall asleep, so that they’d sleep as completely mutually scented family for once. And when they exchange ribbons (on their fourth anniversary), they finally mark and bond like they mean it (or, if they’ve already been marked and bonded, they go through the motions again and LJY revels in knowing that it finally means what it wants it to mean).

As you can see…a lot of questions need to be answered, and I didn’t want to dedicate an entire chapter to setting the scene so I just…left this to the reader’s imagination haha

[violetsmoak]

Philtatos [4/?]

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20101543/chapters/47615902

Blanket Disclaimer

Summary: During a patrol where Red Hood and Red Robin cross paths, Jason is infected with the blood of the Eros, the ancient God of Love, who informs them that they must track down his missing bow and arrows, or Jason will go slowly mad with an obsessive desire–for Tim. Though overwhelmed by the sudden attention being paid to him, Tim sets to work trying to solve the case, before Jason succumbs to madness. In the meantime, Jason discovers that there’s more than godlike powers at work here, as well as a legacy that reaches back through the sands of time.

Rating: PG-13 (rating may change later)

Beta Reader: None at the moment.

JayTimBingo Prompts This Chapter: #gods in disguise #secrets #shield #undying love

First Chapter

Author's Note(s): This one's a little less polished since my computer decided to eat half the chapter and I had to rewrite it in a hurry, but I'll fix it later.

________________________________________________________________

How does this even happen?

It’s tempting for Tim to let his head fall against the computer console in his frustration.

A week in, and nothing. No reports of random people wandering around with a bow and arrows, none of his underworld contacts have mentioned anything showing up at on the black-market or at illegal auctions. It’s as if Eros’ diviners have vanished into thin air.

That he’s frustrated is putting it lightly.

Adding to that is the fact he hasn’t seen or heard from Jason in the same amount of time. The other vigilante finally appears to have found the tracer Tim stuck on him and sent it on a trip to the Gotham City dump. It’s both a relief, because it means he’s acting like himself, and a disappointment, because it means he’s still resistant to Tim’s help.

Apparently when he asserted the Red Hood would eventually reach out to him, he underestimated the exact amount of stubborn that is Jason Todd. He’d come to Eros about something, as Tim discovered when checking his now blank security feeds; the Olympian wouldn’t say what, instead complaining about rude capes and the obstinacy of men.

Tim scowls at the dot pixel pattern of static where the footage of their meeting should be, trying to get his emotions under control. He’s annoyed, because Eros is annoying, but also because Jason managed to not only get into his apartment undetected, but down into the Nest.

Yes, he knows Jason is a lot smarter than he pretends to be, but it’s a dart to his pride because he thought he was being clever.

He’s also worried, since something upset Jason enough to come here in the first place. And he’s hurt because he’d chosen to speak to the winged appetite that compromised him to begin with instead of the one person trying to help him right now.

He waited until I wasn’t around to come here. And Eros won’t say what they talked about.

Mostly to be contrary.

As for the reports coming in from the authorities cleaning up after the Red Hood in the past few days, his take-downs are edging toward the worse side of brutal once again.

Something must be going on. If he’s being affected, though, wouldn’t he not have the interest to keep on with his usual activities?

It’s been an almost physical effort not to approach Jason once again, to plead with him to just accept help for once.

Versions of that plan have never worked for Bruce or Dick—or, well, any Bat, really—so Tim doubts it will work for him.

It’s why he now forces his focus back onto Eros’ case, as futile as it’s been. He knows he’s has more difficult cases, but this one feels like it’s intentionally trying to frustrate him in a way even the Riddler’s games never have.

You’d think people carrying around a bow and arrows would be pretty easy to find, but apparently not.

The Olympian is irritating, even as he answers Tim’s questions. His story hasn’t changed from when he first told it—a trip to Amsterdam that didn’t go as planned, and then a desperate hunt throughout all the cities where Tim tracked thefts.

So far, everything lines up with the investigation Tim was running before and offers no new information.

“Are your diviners like you?” Tim asks, considering the giant map on his computer screen; a red line drags across the Atlantic Ocean, connecting locations on the bordering continents. “I mean, will they not turn up on CCTV or other security devices?”

It would explain why he hasn’t found anything yet.

“Nah, that’s just me,” Eros tells him as he flips through a gossip rag. “I have to make the conscious decision to not show up on camera. It’s a strain on my abilities.” He sighs, putting down the magazine. “I used to be able to go completely invisible in the good old days. Back when people truly believed in us.”

“And now you just, what, mess with imaging frequencies?”

“Pfft—Glorified camouflage.”

“Considering government reliance on facial recognition software, you’re still able to ghost the system. That’s something.”

“Don’t patronize,” Eros grumbles. Then he tilts his head as something occurs to him. “Although, now that you mention it, they can change forms.”

Tim stills. “…What.”

“Yes, to make them less conspicuous. You don’t think I wander around with a bow and arrows all the time, do you? Outside of a Renaissance fair that sort of thing catches the wrong kind of attention—”

“Why the hell didn’t you say this before?” Tim hisses, fingers itching with conflicting impulses to tear at his hair or punch the Olympian in the face. Luckily for the well-being of all parties involved there’s a thick sheet of bulletproof glass between them.

“Uh, one, you didn’t ask. Two, I’m the only one who knows how to change their form, so I didn’t think it was an issue,” Eros replies, ticking options off his fingers.

Tim takes a deep breath through his nose and releases it. “If you want me to solve your case and get your property back, you have to tell me all the information. Even if it seems insignificant.”

“Well I know that now,” Eros huffs; at Tim’s continued unimpressed expression, he rolls his eyes stands up. “Fine! Mea culpa. What do you want to know?”

“What forms can your diviners take?”

“Since they were forged to be divine weapons, they have to conform to their purpose. So they can only be reshaped into other weapons.”

“Any weapon? Knives? Brass knuckles? Mace?”

“In theory?” Eros answers, and then looks curious. “Actually, that’s an interesting concept. I might try those out when I get them back.”

His attention span is possible worse than Bart’s.

“Focus—what form were they in when you were in Amsterdam?” There’s no footage of that, because apparently that café valued customer privacy over possible security issues.

“Well, I’d just finished watching a James Bond marathon, so I was inspired. I made them into these sweet, gold-plated .45 calibre revolvers. Single shot, custom-design, monogrammed.”

And another breath…

“Which you didn’t think to mention.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, was that important?”

“Yes, it was important! How am I supposed to help you find your diviners when you have me looking for a bow and arrows, and they’ve basically become the Golden Gun?!”

“Guns. Plural.” Eros corrects reasonably. “And you’re a detective. It’s what you do. I already said I don’t tell you how to do your job.”

Tim’s heard that love is blind; it turns out love is also an idiot.

With monumental effort, he lets it go; he’ll revisit the shape-changing weapons on his own time. There’s other information he needs. “Back to the theft, though—is there anyone you were with at the time, anyone who might have witnessed what happened?”

“I was with a lot of people that night. And it’s not like those people are going to a pot café to pay attention, if you know what I mean?”

“Not really.”

“Well, that’s not surprising. You don’t strike me as the fun one.”

Tim rolls his eyes at the dig, “What about other Olympians?”

“What about them?”

“Could they have stolen it from you?”

“In theory, but I would have noticed. And then booked it in another direction.”

“You don’t get along with your family?”

“Do you?”

“It’s…complicated.”

“It always is.”

“What about your wife?”

Eros tenses, expression going unnaturally blank. “What?”

“I started doing a bit of research on you,” Tim explains, studying the sudden change in demeanour. “Just the basics. But the most popular story about you has to do with your wife, Psy—”

“Dead,” Eros cuts him off, abrupt.

“But I thought she became an immortal goddess?”

“How many times do I have to explain that the stories don’t get everything right?” Eros sneers. “She’s dead. Point final.”

The message in his voice and eyes is for Tim to drop it; even as his curiosity grows, filing the information into his mental dossier of the Olympian, Tim can recognize a painful topic.

He lets it go. For now.

“So, no one was around? The coffeeshop, I mean.”

“I don’t know,” Eros groans, body language easing out of it’s rigidity once more. He winds his fingers into his hair. “There was a pair of identical twins from Sweden that looked like walking Alps, and by the Styx did I want to climb those.”

“Gross.”

“And then there was the clingy redhead, the hot waiter with the manbun, one total MILF relieving her glory days—I don’t know, okay? There were a lot of people!”

Tim leans back in his chair, carding his fingers together. “What exactly is a god of love doing getting stoned in Amsterdam, anyhow?”

“Hey, I don’t judge your life choices.”

“I’m not judging, I’m just—curious. You’re not human, you can go wherever you want, do whatever you want, without being tracked—can probably influence people to get whatever you want. And you decide to gorge yourself on pot brownies in a glorified basement?”

“You might not understand this, but sometimes it’s nice to go somewhere and forget for a little while,” Eros drawls.

Actually, I get that more than you imagine…

“That’s unexpected,” Tim offers. “Considering who you are, you’d think you’d be happier."

"When has love ever been synonymous with happy?" Eros challenges. “You know that better than most, right?”

“I’m fine. I’m living with it.”

“Not talking about your walking Alp, darlin’. I mean the loss you’ve gone through.” The Olympian is studying him now. “I can see the scars left over from every person you let into your heart and who left you. The boy you loved, your parents, your best friends, your father figure…and it’s not just death I’m sensing. You’ve had things taken from you, things you loved more than anything, just wrenched away.”

“My entire life has burnt down! Again! I don’t call this ‘okay’, Dick.”

“You have to understand—”

“Oh, are you still here?”

“What Earth are we on that you choose him over me?”

Even after all this time, it hurts.

He is uncomfortable at the reminder of blacker times, some fresher in his mind than others. He still has moments when his mind is trapped back in the days after losing Robin, after his father’s death, when he gets stuck in those memories and can barely get out of bed. It’s like sleep paralysis, except he’s awake, and it usually takes Dick dropping by his place unannounced or Alfred phoning him to remind him not to miss upcoming family dinners, to get him out of it again.

To remind him it’s in the past and can’t hurt him anymore.

But now, this latest thing with Jason has more than just the potential to hurt, it’s practically a certainty. In fact, Tim wonders if Jason being cursed to desire him isn’t just the universe continuing its general theme of dumping on him.

“I don’t need a replay, I was there,” Tim says stiffly, and decides he needs a break from Eros for a little while. In about three hours he has to get up and go to work, something he’d rather skip, but the old guard on the Board of Directors is getting up to their usual bullshit and he can’t skip the meetings today.

The rest of the week continues in the same trying fashion. When he isn’t working the case, going through hours of footage from various airports, train stations and other checkpoints for a sign of someone carrying any weapons this time, he’s at WE fighting a bunch of old, fiscal conservatives trying to undercut employee wages. Neither initiative seems to be going anywhere.

On the sixth night since the warehouse fight, Tim is running on very little fuel, to the point his judgement is starting to waver. He’s weighing the pros and cons of checking in on Jason again. He thinks he could probably manage it without him noticing this time. But then, Eros is taking one of his rare (and much appreciated) food-coma naps, which means some valuable quiet time for him to think.

The main computer chooses that point to blink to life with a message from the Tower, and Tim’s stomach leaps with hope that Cassie has something for him.

Except it’s not her that grins down at him.

“Superboy? Where’s Cassie?”

His best friend makes a face. “Ouch, not even a ‘hello’?”

“Sorry, just a bit stressed,” Tim groans. Apparently his exhaustion has brought him past the point of basic etiquette. He needs another Red Bull. “Hi.”

“You sound so enthusiastic,” Connor deadpans. “Anyway, Cassie’s gone to see her Mom in Gateway City. She said she’d be back soon.”

Tim nods. That makes sense, considering Dr. Sandsmark’s knowledge of Ancient Greek artifacts and mythology; he feels stupid for not thinking to contact her before.

“Hey Rob!” Bart shoves his face into the frame. “When are you coming back?”

“Might be a little while. I got side-tracked with a case here that’s, uh, time sensitive.”

“Sucks.”

“While you’re here, can I get some of those bars of yours?”

He thinks Batburger is about to offer him and endorsement deal.

“Are you pulling another case where you’re too lazy to get up and eat? Dude, we talked about that.”

“Also, those bars are gross.”

“Of course they’re gross to you, you’re used to homemade Kansas awesomeness that fills you up if you just look at it.”

“They’re not for me,” Tim interrupts. “It’s for a…actually—” There’s no other way to see it. “He’s my prisoner.”

His friends look impressed.

“Damn, Rob, are you going Dark Side on us?”

“Ooh, do they have cookies?”

“Ha, hah. And even if I was, everyone else has already done it, I’m due. But no, the guy’s a glorified witness, with the metabolism like a Speedster.”

“So, hell on the grocery bills,” Connor says with a nod.

Tim’s comm buzzes, the line from his cellphone; against the backdrop of his mask, Cassie’s number pops up.

“Gimme a sec, incoming call,” he says, and patches into the line. “Hey—”

“Everything he said is true,” Cassie interrupts before he can finish the sentence. “Eros, I mean. People infected by his blood only get worse unless treated—think the Henry VIII, the Manson family, or John Hinckley Jr before they were cured.”

Tim recognizes all of those names. “Wait, but they all lived afterward.”

“They were the ones who got cured. Other’s haven’t been so lucky. Medea killed her own children and set her ex’s new girlfriend on fire.”

The blood rushes from his face. “What?”

“I mean, all those people had severe issues before they got infected, which might be a factor, but if your victim already has trouble controlling their emotions…”

Cassie trails off.

It’s like the bottom has dropped out of his stomach. “How long?”

“Two weeks, give or take. It depends on the mind frame of the victim.”

A very real, visceral fury spreads throughout Tim’s body, anger on Jason’s behalf and at the spoiled godling that’s watching all this unfold like it’s one of his TV dramas.

“…Thanks, Cassie,” he manages to croak. “Call you later.”

He hangs up.

“Are you okay?” Connor asks; on screen, his body becomes more tense in response to Tim’s expression.

“I have to go,” Tim replies, tipping his cowl over his head.

“Need help?” Bart asks. “You know we can be there in less than three hours if you do. Two if we’re really booking.”

Tim considers, then shakes his head. “I—we should be able to handle this.” Bruce is never happy when metas show up without his permission, even when they’re saving the collective asses of the Family. “But I’ll keep you posted. If there is anything, I’ll contact you right away.”

“Good luck,” Connor says, still concerned.

“Thanks,” Tim replies, ending the call.

I think I’m definitely going to need it.

⁂

The sun beats down on him from its zenith, and he can feel his arms burning. The air is hot and humid, carrying with it the taste of the sea he usually associates with the Mediterranean, yet he’s still sweating in his linen tunic.

In his hands—browner than he’s used to, scarred but in a different way than he expects—he carries a wreath of laurel leaves, woven together with fine gold thread. In front of him, a giant mound rises out of the earth, grass and wildflowers covering it, rippling lazily in the wind. At its base, a thick column of aged marble, already falling into disrepair.

He should see about having that fixed before they head for Sardis.

Jason takes a few steps forward, kneeling to place the wreath at the base of the column; despite the heat, a chill moves up his spine as he presses his hand to the earth, clutching a handful of dry soil and bringing it to his lips.

“It is my privilege to stand at the hall of your rest, Honored Forefather,” he murmurs. “And know that I will do your blood proud.”

The words are less flowery than anything the priests and governors might come up with, but the sentiment remains just as genuine.

Glancing to his right, he sees a similar column several yards away, and another man is kneeling there with his own wreath. It takes him a moment before he recognises him.

Tim.

Except—he’s different: his hair is longer, skin darker than Jason can ever remember seeing, because Tim is supposed to be a pasty-faced nerd. He’s also wearing a red tunic and lace up sandals, and his features are much more relaxed than Jason is used to. No dark circles beneath his closed eyes. He mouths words that are lost in the breeze.

Jason’s own gaze falls there for a moment, taking in the flushed colour of his lips. Something at the back of his mind chides him for looking, but it’s lost within a burgeoning warmth in his chest.

He’s lucky to have him here, someone as faithful and intelligent and honest—

Eyes blinking open, Tim notices him watching; his mouth tilts upward in amusement, and Jason’s heart seems to beat faster. The smaller man straightens up, leaving his offering behind him and wanders over, movements as smooth as a cat. And—

No, this isn’t a good idea, he’s supposed to be avoiding him, right? He can’t remember why, but—

“What are you thinking of?” Tim asks softly. “You’re supposed to be making sacrifices to your ancestor’s memory, not staring at your liegeman.” He adopts a severe expression. “It’s distracting me from being appropriately solemn.”

Jason shrugs, fond smile on his own face.

“He was happy, when he lived,” he says, nodding at the column where he knelt before. “And fortunate in finding a faithful companion, and a great poet to sing of his deeds after his death.”

“You say that as if you have neither,” Tim snorts.

“There are no more poets of merit to speak of my deeds. Everything is lost to the logical, pedantic record of history.”

“And there’s the sense of drama I was waiting for,” Tim deadpans. “You could always write the histories yourself.”

“Hah! You would say something like that. Always planning, aren’t you?”

“Well, someone has to.”

Jason rolls his eyes, and gestures with his hand that Tim should follow him. They amble down a grassy footpath, returning to the level ground where their horses wait for them. There are guards spread out around them, close enough to help if something should happen but far enough away, they can’t hear what’s said.

He approaches the massive black Thessalian, absently patting the ox-head brand on its haunch with one hand while his other reaches to detach a large cloth-wrapped package from his saddlebags.

Tim appears curious when Jason hands it to him.

“I made sacrifice at the temple this morning before we rode out and left them with one of my finest sets of armour,” he explains. “They insisted it was too much and that I should take something in return. This called to me.”

Tim opens the bundle, eyebrows raising at the bronze shield that gleams in the sun.

“It was found in the ruins of the great city herself after the battle. It made me think of you.”

“Oh?” Tim watches him from beneath hooded eyes, a delicate colour blooming across the bridge of his nose. “You think of me as a shield?”

“I think of you as my shield,” he corrects seriously. “I will always be a sword. I can’t be anything else, or others would see it as weakness. But you…you protect everything that I am, even from myself. You throw your own needs and wants to the dirt to raise up mine. You weather the anger of men who believe themselves to be greater. For my sake.”

Tim appears struck mute at this, clutching the shield to his body as he stares at Jason with shining eyes. His mouth parts several times, as if he’s trying to figure out what to say, and once again Jason’s gaze falls upon his lips.

Tim shoots a darting glance at the guards near them, and something like frustration passes across his features, mixing with calculation.

And then he’s grinning that sharp grin again, and Jason’s stomach flips pleasantly as it fixes on him. Tim sets the shield to one side with careful reverence and takes a step forward until their faces are within inches of one another.

Jason licks his lips, expectation weighing heavily on him, and waits for Tim to break the silence.

“I think we should run a race.”

Which...was not the response he was expecting. Jason blinks at the non sequitur. “What?”

“In the old style,” the younger man continues, setting the shield on the ground and backing away. He’s reaching for the belt of his tunic, eyes sparking with mischief and something else. “To honour our ancestors, of course.”

“Of course,” Jason agrees, and reaches for him, but Tim dances out of his way.

“Ah, no! You’re entirely to dressed for that.”

He’s jogging backwards now, and Jason laughs, reaching again for him, “Get back here—”

“You’ll have to catch me—”

“Hood!”

Jason gives a full-body jerk, dragged out of his reverie by a voice that is no longer laughing, but tense.

“Red Hood!”

The world returns to him, gritty and smelling like rancid trash and smoke. There are several bodies at his feet and the smell of blood in the air; he hears groaning, so he knows they’re alive. That should be a relief, somehow, except he’s distracted.

There’s someone standing in front of him, the height and build familiar, it could be him, except the eyes are wrong and he’s younger and—

Not him. Nothing like him.

For a beat Jason is irritated when he realises the person in front of him is not Tim, because he was sure he just heard him. On the heel of that annoyance is the realisation that he’s looming over a kid that can’t be more than a few years older than Damian, who’s staring at him with unbridled terror, pressing himself into the walls of the alley.

New kid on the corner. Johns were harassing him, so I taught them a lesson, but then…

Jason’s hand lingers in front of his face, inches away, fingers curved like they intend to brush the boy’s jawline.

Realisation hits at what he must look like, what the teenager must think, and it’s soon followed by disgust because he knows the motivation behind his current position. He pulls back, staring down at his hands in horror.

What the hell did I almost do?

“Hood, look at me,” Tim says, only it’s the Red Robin voice, growled from the shadows, and it sends a shiver up Jason’s spine.

He immediately turns to face him.

The nameless teen take off at a run, but that’s not important; what’s important is that Tim is here, barely three feet away. He moves to close the distance, posture open and soothing, and Jason is already relaxing in response, twitching to reach toward Tim’s outstretched hand.

And…no.

He should not be relaxing. He should not be reaching out or touching Tim in any way because—

Because…

It’s hard to think why, but then he remembers.

Because it’s not him who wants to, it’s the infection. And he might do something worse.

Jason’s entire body seizes up again, and he stumbles backward.

“Hood, it’s okay,” Tim says in a placating whisper. “I’m going to help you. I promise.”

And Jason wants to, he really does. Wants to just go with him, maybe let himself fall against his body in exhaustion, because Tim might be small but he’s strong and could hold him up and—

“Back off!” Jason snaps, both to himself and to Tim, who jerks as if he’s been slapped. The sight helps ground him a bit more. “You are the lastperson I should be around right now.”

“Ja—”

“No!”

He takes off. Doesn’t bother with shooting a line into the air—his hands are shaking too much for that—and just runs. He knows this place better than the other vigilante ever will, knows how to disappear even when being pursued by a Bat.

And right now, he needs to disappear.

Grotty buildings and dark alleys fly by him as he crashes through the backways.

This is better, just one foot in front of the other. The icy air in his lungs is painful, but the good kind—distracting. Waking him from whatever funk he was in.

What the hell was that before? A dream?

But he was awake. And since when are dreams, or even hallucinations, so cohesive? Sequential? He knows it happened like he was living it, though he can’t remember exactly anymore. The details are drifting away like sand grasped too tightly in a fist, but he remembers feelings. Warmth. Safety. Laughter.

And Tim smiling at him; everything else is hazy, but he remembers that detail without difficulty.

Jason’s stomach lurches, torn between something fond and possessive, and the sense of disgust crouching at the back of his mind and spreading through his body the more he thinks about it.

He has to stay away—from Tim, from anyone who looks like him. Just until he can figure out a fix (or hell, even afterward, just to be sure). No, wait, he can’t figure it out. It would involve investigation, chasing down leads, probably running into—

No. Better barricade himself in somewhere. Take himself out of the equation.

Tim will be fine to figure this out on his own—he said he was trying to help, which means he’s aware of what’s going on with Jason. Which, yes, is mortifying, but also a comfort, because he trusts the younger man to figure it out.

He wonders for a moment if that’s because of the growing fascination, and then decides it’s not. Even before, he’s had an inexplicable amount of faith in Tim’s abilities to plan and get results.

It’s why he wanted him to be his Robin.

Why he still wants—

“Damn it!” Jason growls, stopping for a moment to breathe and then to punch the nearest wall in frustration.

The comm in his ear buzzes to life.

“Red Hood?”

Not Tim, but Oracle.

“Tell me you found something,” he orders, trying to get his mounting panic under control.

“Not yet. I’ve got a lead that looks promising, but still waiting on confirmation,” Oracle replies. There’s a pause, and then when she speaks again, it’s without the voice synthesizer. “Tim told me what’s going on.”

Shame hits him. “Of course he did.”

“We want to help you, Jason. This isn’t something you have to go through on your own.”

“Tell me that the next time you get shot up with Olympian blood that makes you fixate on Huntress or Clayface or someone. I just need somewhere to ride this out—”

“I can think of somewhere that would be well-equipped.”

The Cave.

“No.”

“Now isn’t the time for your pride. If you really don’t want to hurt someone—to hurt Tim. Again. Your best bet is to get B’s help.”

The kicker is, Jason knows she’s right. And he’s off his game enough that all of his usual arguments and complaints and resentments just don’t seem to register. All that he can focus on right now is Tim—and wanting to do everything he can to stop obsessing over him.

To stop wanting him, wanting to touch and taste and—

“Damn it,” his says again, but this time it’s whispered, almost defeated.

Bruce is the only one Jason knows that will do anything in his power to stop him from becoming exactly the kind of monster he’s been fighting his whole life. Even if it means throwing him in Arkham until whatever is driving him insane gets fixed.

And even if it doesn’t…

He’ll lock me up and throw away the key to keep me from hurting Tim. And I’d let him.

“He’s enroute to you now,” Barbara says.

“Is the demon brat with him?”

“Yes.”

He remembers the terrified expression on the nameless teenager’s face as he reached out to him.

“Keep him away. I don’t…know what I might do.”

Barbara’s silence is heavy, and Jason feels a wave of disgust with himself rush over him.

“I’ve told B to send Robin to rendezvous with Red Robin,” she says, and it’s Oracle’s voice again. “He’ll be there in five minutes. Try not to bolt.”

It’s the longest five minutes of his life.

⁂⁂⁂

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