#adoptees

[krossan]

the possibilities ARE THERE

[ex-foster]

I've learned so much by listening to adult adoptees. As a former foster kid who was not adopted, I had some preconceived ideas on adoption. I remember being confused when financial aid was being offered to former foster kids, including those who were adopted. I was truly puzzled because I thought adoptees wouldn't need any financial aid because they were adopted and theoretically had someone to take care of them whereas someone who aged out of care virtually has nobody.

But I'm learning that a lot of adoptees have super similar experiences to foster kids who aged out of care. A lot of adoptees are given similar expectations as FFY where they are expected to live independently the literal day they turn 18. Whereas biological children are given a LOT more support than adoptees or FFY.

And even in cases where adoptive parents do want to support their adoptive children to obtain a higher education, they may have not been able to save up for their education the same way that a child living with their biological parents would. For example if the adoption took place when the adoptive child was 8 years old, and then a high interest savings account was made to prepare for their education, they would 8 years behind a kept child who had their high interest savings account established when they were an infant.

[twitcheye]

"You Don’t Look Adopted” by Anne Heffron

If you listen to Adoptees On, the podcast (if you’re an adoptee or a foster you SHOULD, it’s great, it’s by us and for us) you will sometimes have heard guests mention how much they loved this book.  I read it based on that and it’s a great memoir, just painfully honest about what it’s like to go through life like this.  

“Most of my life I have felt both real and not real.” ― Anne Heffron, You Don't Look Adopted

Anne has an interesting website and blog as well, and I’m featured on it as a guest artist this week.  Go look!

https://www.anneheffron.com/blog/2023/5/27/guest-blog-post-art-and-adoption-by-terri-nelson

[eggwhiteswithspinach]

affirmations for adoptees

[goawaywithjae]

I want to address a topic that goes beyond the are they or aren’t they K-pop artists if they sing in English dialogue — which was a big portion of that NYT podcast that I wrote about earlier this week. But first, a brief recap of that hot mess:

In that 47-minute long discussion, the host and his guest explored the use of English in K-pop songs. Their general consensus was that if a Korean artist is singing in English, it’s not unique anymore, because they’re doing the same thing that Western artists do:

[Jung-kook’s “Golden” is] an American album with a Korean face on it basically. So I think if I was a listener that was like, “Oh, this is what a K-pop guy can do? It sounds just like Justin Timberlake.” Why do you need a Korean guy doing Justin Timberlake when we have Justin Timberlake?

This could have been an interesting topic if they had addressed their own implicit bias as well as the obvious question: Why is it that when white European performers choose to sing in English — even though their native language isn’t English — no one accuses them of tapping into an already-saturated market of songs performed in English? We know why. Because to a certain sector of our population, white people singing in English is the norm, whereas Asians — even Asian Americans — appear foreign to them. So for these folks, it’s weird hearing ethnically-Asian musicians singing in English.

[aicollider]

Insightful commentary on current events by one Grace Hopper

Return exactly the same text but decorate important words and names with markdown. **Be creative**. Use **bold**, *italic* and insert relevant [links](https://www.example.com): Hello there, folks! **Grace Hopper** here, the one and only *computer programming pioneer extraordinaire*. Now, let's dive right into these intriguing news headlines and sprinkle them with my own unique brand of humor,…

[babe-con-el-poder]

I wonder sometimes what will happen to all the anger and fear I've been carrying with me since birth...the fear that is caused by abandonment. The anger that stays because nobody ever actually understands what I've experienced internally. I've seen the way colonization and white savior complexes work from the inside....it has taken me decades to understand and deprogram myself from the idea that I should bow down to anyone in my adoptive family in eternal gratitude. I'm no longer going along with their idea of a grateful adoptee. I don't even know if I'll ever speak to any of them again after my adoptive parents die. I don't want to validate their bigotry and stupidity by being the token brown person in their lives. But despite drawing my boundaries so clearly I still carry all this fear....like free-falling forever through space and time with no end in sight. I still carry the anger of the position I've been forced into since birth. I've always lived a double life. One dark. One hidden. And the other as the person I was adopted to become. It's madness.

[ramyeongif]

stop using adoptees as a way to further a narrative against abortion

[gaez4u]

having a lot of grief lately

the grief of origin

having seven parts by age four but having no recollection of why they exist

being displaced through adoption from anyone who was around me before adoption

finding genetically inherited autoimmune disorders in my genetic health testing that don't match my biomom's family history and feeling that ache of absence

realizing i can't rely on this body to escape as i have assumed i would always have

it's winter now, yet grief rages.

[goodbyeapathy8]

+ Asian adoptees ARE STILL ASIAN, TOO. There's way too much erasure of adoptees both inside and outside the diaspora and that needs to stop.

asians: pls care about racism against us

tumblr:

[eggwhiteswithspinach]

stop asking adoptees if they would have rather been aborted

[rozmorris]

Finding our true voices and where we belong – novelist and coach Heather Marshall

Heather Marshall’s novels are concerned with questions of family. In her first, The Thorn Tree, the characters are rediscovering who they are as family grows up and their life roles change. In her new novel, When The Ocean Flies, an adoptee comes to terms with long-held misbeliefs, seeded from her earliest days. This theme of leading an authentic life and discovering what that should be clearly…

[oliveptee]

While adoption and step arnt the typical "nuclear" family you think of, they still are a legally binding family, (infact most families that are adoption/ step you wouldnt know if they didnt tell you) theStandard definition of a family. Found Family can be anything BUT standard,must be unrelated (there for adoption/step doesnt count) orphanages dont count either because it is a process of adoption they view themselves as a standard family (ex: they ARE siblings just minus the parents)

Found Family cant have any standard roles, no sibling/parental roles, while they may feel similar they arnt. Lets look at dungeon meshi, are chilchuck and laois "brothers" no they arnt are maricle and senshi father and daughter? ...obviously not! But they /feel/ and interact like a family without the typical family roles [to some viewers]

Now for why adoptees hate it: Our experiences are often dumbed down for biospawns (people who are not adopted) and refuse to see any trauma involved in it. They romanticize adoption to no end. They treat it like something fictional.

Found Family is a trope, adoption is not a trope. Also the key point in found family is that their not blood related.. exactly something that is majorly insenstive to adoptees and their families.

Its an another extent of romantization. My experiences / other adoptees / even their families are not fictional tropes, and do not exist for the eyes of a viewer/reader. Its dehumanizing. Even to maybe say "using fandom lingo on a very serious issue"

going to ruffle a few feathers with this one

[valengory1234]

Would you believe this article is about adoptive parents?

[immaculatasknight]

Smells like Ukraine