#which. WHY????? where did that come from??? my family definitely didn't emphasize that? but it's certainly in there deep
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girlscience · 2 years ago
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sometimes i wonder why a very specific flavor of big toxic masculinity influencer guys appeal to me so much and then i am forcefully reminded that's what i've want to be my whole life and i 😭😭
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synnthamonsugar · 1 month ago
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DESTINYTOBER: Day 20 - Ghost
Read it on AO3
. . .
The way the others told it, the Witness tempted the unthinkable. To Zavala, it promised the return of his long-dead family. For Crow, a second chance at life free from the stain of his predecessor. Gifts even the Traveler could not provide were gladly held in the myriad outstretched hands of the First Knife, not only offered but pushed into the arms of its would-be recipients. 
It did not escape Ikora's morbid sense of humor that her Final Shape took the form of normality. Such a storied life. Such power and knowledge. Friends near enough to her heart to be family, people who understood her and she knew in kind. She had everything a Guardian could want, except the thing that supposedly comes most naturally — a relationship with her Ghost. 
Her dynamic with Ophiuchus was largely one of coworkers: distant, unemotional, respectful enough to get by without major incident. Still, she would not knock on his office door to ask advice, nor go for drinks with him after clocking out. They were well-matched in being mismatched, mutually comfortable with the tension belying the fact they would not interact if they weren't forced to by circumstance.
For the most part. Ikora overthought everything, and this was no exception. Inoften, but enough, she wondered: should she want a relationship with Ophiuchus? Should she want to want it? What did it say about her if she didn't? Would having it be a balm for an ache she didn't even notice, and would soothing that ache fix her doubt?
Ikora was meditating atop a high boulder in the Refraction when the Witness first called to her. It made its appeal wordlessly, entering her mind with visions of what could be: quiet moments at home, Ophiuchus snuggled to her chest as she read. Nestled beside her pillow, optic dimmed, as she drifted to sleep and awoke. In moments of pain he spoke reassurances, and in times of triumph he celebrated with her. He loved who and what she loved, and opposed that which she opposed. Wide-eyed, she snapped out of the dream, but some of the warmth in her chest remained. 
For days, it tried and failed to win her with subtlety. 
When it reached out next, it was with a grip hard enough to not ignore. 
She blinked, and found herself transported from the forested groves of the Blooming to a dark, empty space outside of space, a spectral image of Ophiuchus before her, optic plaintive, unwavering from her gaze. From everywhere and nowhere, the many mouthed voice spoke:
— We can provide blissful unity with your other half. Is that not what you desire? —
"No," Ikora replied, calm but defiant. "Not if it means forcing him to be something he's not. Not if it means changing myself to fit arbitrary definitions of what a Guardian should be."
— But you strive for perfection. A guardian is but one piece of a two-part whole. That which is incomplete can only be flawed. —
"You are complete, maybe more complete than anything in the history of the universe has been. Yet you are fatally flawed. Even if —" she emphasized it harshly, " — I'm not whole, I can be perfect."
It flared with anger. Cold wind rushed against Ikora from all directions. 
— You think your Traveler wise. Benevolent. Why would an intelligent and loving creator pair two souls so unfit for each other together? Why would it foster division between the smallest units of itself, if not to encourage strife? —
"You are so self-obsessed that you cannot comprehend that others have motives separate from yours. You cannot imagine a relationship built on mutual trust and respect and selflessness — only subjugation and force." She brushed away the ghostly image before her. "You have nothing to offer me or Ophiuchus. Be gone at once."
At that, she was back where she'd departed from, astral winds replaced by the warm, fragrant breeze, the sudden brightness of the sky watering her eyes. 
Ophiuchus, the real Ophiuchus, was there. 
"You fell off my sensors," he excused himself. 
"We had a talk." 
"I didn't hear it, but I felt it. Did you mean all that?"
She nodded. "Yes. Of course."
"Good," he nodded back, before transmatting away. Ikora smiled to herself, glad to have him as her partner.
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finalgirlminamurray · 1 month ago
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by the way...finished bones and all (the book) recently
i think it was interesting but ultimately i do have to admit i think the movie did a better job of executing the concept. maybe i'd feel differently if i read the book first but i think it's an actually successful example of a film adaptation taking the broad strokes of the source material to build more of its own story. the basic plot remains the same but there are some significant differences in tone and what they choose to emphasize as well as some more minor details that add up to a very different experience
the author said she wrote this book shortly after going vegan and in the author's notes/acknowledgements at the end that a lot of people were surprised that she'd written a book about cannibals - then clarifying "well, ghouls, really, but cannibals is more recognizable a term" (something like that). thought this was interesting because the word "ghoul" never comes up in the book to describe what are usually just called "eaters". anyway i don't know why people were surprised that a vegetarian/vegan was writing about cannibalism because that seems to be a common thing among people who write about that.
the book wasn't shelved as ya in my library system but i heard it described as a young adult novel before reading it and i think in many ways it does really feel like one. granted i haven't read any young adult books since i was a young adult (i.e., a teenager) myself so i don't know that much about what the ya publishing landscape is really like but i wonder why libraries would be reluctant to classify this as such. is it because of the explicit horror elements? i think it's perfectly appropriate for teens and it feels like it's written from the mindset of one, in a good way
anyway, major differences between book and film are:
in the book maren is raised by her mother before being abandoned by her and going to search for her father; in the film it's the reverse. i think there's some significance here in how being an eater is tied to gender - it's not a gender-specific thing in either version but i feel like in the book most of the eaters maren meets are male. there's only one woman she remembers meeting once who she thinks might have been like her. she also notes that other girls really don't seem to like her and most of the people drawn towards her throughout her childhood were boys.
(there's also the fact that maren in the movie is mixed-race, and it's strongly implied her mother's family didn't approve of her marrying maren's father because he's black; as you might expect none of the characters' races are mentioned in the book and you can probably assume they're meant to be white. this definitely adds a whole lot more to the film's dynamics but it's mostly left to subtext. in the book maren keeps a scrapbook of various historical and literary incidents of cannibalism, and she and sully talk about polynesian people who eat their dead - none of this comes up in the film as far as i remember, though.)
in the book maren has been aware of her cannibalistic tendencies for most of her life and recalls several specific incidents throughout the book of her eating someone she got close to, after which her mom had to pack up and move again. in the film the first of these (her babysitter) is mentioned but if there were others she doesn't seem to remember them. (i'll probably have to watch the film again to refresh my own memory, but i'll take any excuse to.)
the way eaters feed is portrayed somewhat differently; the book seems to lean into the magical realist elements more and implies they can devour a whole person in a matter of minutes, leaving behind only what they can't digest. they also seem to go into a sort of fugue state where they aren't fully aware of what they're doing until it's over, and have a harder time controlling their urges. the film plays it a little more "realistically" and shows them eating like scavenger animals - this is one reason i liked the movie's portrayal of it better, i think. if you want the audience to think about the reality of consuming flesh you kind of have to show it in its full visceral glory
maren's relationship with lee is a little more ambiguous in the book; other characters assume they're dating, she wants to be his girlfriend, but he doesn't quite make it official until they near the end. the film fully makes it a romance between them and has this relationship be a core part of the story - they're also together for more of the plot in the movie, while in the book they separate and find each other again a few times.
maren is a lot less immediately distrustful of sully when she meets him in the book and is actually happy to see him whenever they meet up again. he still comes off as shady but not enough for her to be too creeped out; she's just glad to meet someone like her who seems to have some reasonable principles about how he feeds.
the big twist is that sully is maren's grandfather, being her own father's biological dad, who he never met after being abandoned as a young child. he tried and failed to kill and eat his son and sets his sights on maren instead. there's no familial connection stated in the film but since her mother there has the same backstory as her father in the book (found abandoned as a child and raised by adoptive parents) it's possible
towards the end, lee and maren hitch a ride with a college student who's moving back into her dorm; she offers to let them stay the night but won't let maren sleep in her room. lee ends up eating her and maren essentially takes over her identity so she can live and study at the school, which she enjoys until sully tracks her down. lee finds him attacking her in the dorm room and manages to kill him offscreen (most violence happens "offscreen" in the novel). then he and maren, finally feeling safe, have some drinks and finally sleep together, only for maren to wake up the next morning having eaten him. this is a very different ending than the film, in which lee asks maren to eat him after sustaining injuries in the struggle (and also they're working legitimately by the college), and highlights the book's emphasis on eaters' inability to control their hunger.
the book has more of a bleak ending, honestly, where it's implied that maren will forever be living this nomadic existence she wanted to avoid, unable to get close to anyone without killing them - but at the same time i think you could read it as more positive as she fully embraces what she is. still the nature of eaters in the book makes this a fundamentally different kind of story
the scene in the film where maren and lee meet two men who are both cannibals, but one of them is a born eater and the other just does it because he wants to - not in the book. the closest analogue is when maren goes to visit her father at the mental hospital (which goes mostly similarly to her visit with her mom in the movie, except he doesn't try to attack her at the end) and the nurse who's been taking care of her dad offers to let her have dinner and spend the night at his house. she gladly accepts, but later that night he starts talking about how alone he is and how fascinated he was by her father's nature as an eater, and asks her to do something for him - she doesn't let him finish and it's never revealed exactly what he was going to say but she's really freaked out and tries to leave immediately. he says before that "i don't even like women in that way" so i guess it wasn't something sexual? sources seem to think he wanted her to eat him. weird scene, but right after that she runs into sully again who reveals his true intentions and eats that guy, so we don't have time to dwell on it
speaking of which - the book both downplays maren's romance with lee and is a lot more heterosexual. in the film lee goes off with a male fairground worker and has sex with him before eating him, in the book that character is female (although he also doesn't seem to have done anything with her before eating her). at the same time, there's definitely something there about maren being a girl who other girls seem to inherently dislike for some reason and who has boys interested in her but always finds herself wanting something else from them...at the end she seems to be hitting it off with another guy but the very last lines imply that she's finally embraced her nature and is willingly eating him instead of fucking him. am i reaching for a queer interpretation? maybe! i'm just glad the movie made lee and maren bi (well, maybe it's more subtextual with her, but the first person we see her bite is a girl she's getting intimately close with)
in the film lee has a big confessional monologue about killing his own father; in the book he killed one of his mom's many boyfriends, and while his sister kayla didn't witness it, his girlfriend at the time did and ended up being sent to a mental hospital. this is maybe part of the reason for his and maren's argument before she goes to see her dad
other notes: the book takes place in 1997, the film takes place in 1988. in the movie maren is 18 when her dad leaves her, in the book she's only 16 when her mom leaves. (she's also a lot more resentful towards her mom for leaving her in the book, while in the film she doesn't seem to think about her dad much at all after he leaves; throughout the book she clings to an image of her dad as the perfect idealized parent she never got to have, which makes it especially hard for her when she finds out where he is.) lee's age is not stated in the film but in the book he's 19, which is interesting considering his seeming hesitance to enter into a relationship with maren. the film implies that sully killed kayla when they find what looks like her hair in his rope, but the book makes no mention of this.
overall: still love the movie, the book is something i'll have to sit with for a while i think. i would like to watch the movie again (which would be for a third time by now) with the added context i have of the book. i remain intrigued by the world it takes place in and i think it's a very beautiful movie. i think this was one of those cases where the author herself said the film was better than her book, and i don't always agree with those writers' own assessments, but in this case i'm glad she felt it conveyed the story well, even if some of the themes do feel significantly changed.
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death-himself · 11 months ago
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BRO this episode is definitely my favorite holy shit ok here are episode 4 thoughts
the starting scene of percy learning how to swim was so cute I love every percy and sally interaction
also I kind of love the way they make sally speak kind of erratically and sort of stream-of-thought like, I don't know why but something about it is really interesting and a unique spin on her character
when percy brought up thalia I was BEGGING for a flashback and i'm so sad we didn't get one, probably my only critique of this episode and even then it's not even really a critique
I also love how they're emphasizing grover and annabeth's friendship and history in the series because I feel like it wasn't a thing at all in the books
their dynamic is just getting better and better each episode istg
grover says "2 days until we reach los angeles" which makes me kind of nervous about the lotus casino scene. the whole thing with the casino in the book was that fear realising that they wasted an entire week, so i'm kind of worried that they're only gonna be there for like 5 minutes now, but I guess we'll see in an episode or two
I love echidna greeting them on the train, I think it actually makes more sense than her just being there at the arch at the same time as them
also love echidna's actress she's incredible omg
the arch being a temple to athena is SO FUNNY to me
also love the little hint to annabeth's love for architecture and how she infodumps a bit about it
i love the conversation percy and Annabeth have, them coming to an understanding on the different ways they view their godly parents
also annabeth still worshipping and loving athena because she's both never really had a loving family and because she's been in the godly world for a large amount of her life AND because she doesn't know what it's like to be loved without having to earn it
versus percy not worshipping or caring about poseidon because he's had a loving mother and knows what it's like for a parent to care about him unconditionally and realizing he doesn't need poseidon's attention because he has his mother and she's more than enough
them splashing percy with water in a fountain aslkjdgakljgh
"my impertinence wounded my mother's pride" and she just looks SO DEVASTATED i'm gonna cry
percy tricking annabeth to get her to leave with grover was such a percy thing to do, him knowing he's already dying from the venom
it seems like every time there's a big dramatic fight they always cut the music and i think that's such a cool interesting choice
very sad they didn't just teleport the river over but that shot did look really fuckin cool
i LOVE how they're setting up for percy to have such complex mixed feelings about poseidon, and them ending with him taking a breath and trusting his father was a cool choice
also about that teaser at the end, we're getting the chair hephaestus built in the myth??? i'm so excited to see how that goes
"she said this is what the gods are like to each other. this is the kind of family they are." i feel like that just explains every problem in the riordanverse
with episode 3 probably being my least favorite out of what we have so far, I'm so so happy with this episode. this is the first episode where I don't have a single real critique, and I just know the next 4 episodes are gonna be absolute bangers
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my-mt-heart · 1 year ago
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Where's Daryl?
This was very difficult to write. It opened up a lot of old wounds for me, so if you read this, thank you. If my thoughts on this show haven’t been your cup of tea, that’ll most definitely be the case here as well, so maybe just move along. ***Trigger warning for discussion of childhood abuse***
For about a year and a half, Caryl fans asked Where's Carol? as a pointed reminder that the spinoff was always meant to be hers just as much as it was Daryl’s. Even though she's back now, her fans didn't always know she would be (nor did the EP's 🙄) so her absence during filming and promotion of the first season was a heavy burden to bear. The irony is, though “Daryl Dixon” sticks out like a sore thumb in that ridiculous font, he's the one who feels absent sometimes, as if important parts of his character development were lost when he washed ashore while other parts come and go as the plot demands.
Zabel talks about swapping Daryl's iconic vest for "old man" suspenders as a matter of pragmaticism i.e. they were the only clean clothes available. Norman says it was a choice he wanted for some unclear reason, but neither of them seem to consider the intelligence of their audience, particularly Carylers, to see it more symbolically. The costume change is our visual reminder that Daryl isn't himself. In some scenes he's chattier than he should be, far more trusting of strangers with personal details, and far more theatrical. Then in others, the differences are even more alarming. He calls a child cruel names, puts his hands on him, and feels conflicted about returning home to his family, to the woman he said he loved.
I mentally prepared myself for retcons, but the one I'm struggling with a lot right now, which I haven't seen anyone bring up yet, is the retcon of Daryl’s childhood abuse. Daryl tells Isabelle that he and Merle had to take apart engines and if they couldn't put them back together, their dad wouldn't let them have dinner. It's a milder version of the stories the scars on his back tell us, though I can buy Daryl omitting the worst of it like he did in the pilot. What I can't buy is Daryl saying his dad was "hardly ever" around and emphasizing it as the main source of his pain growing up. It feels contradictory for one thing. When we see Daryl's scars for the first time in S3 of the flagship show, it's implied Daryl was trapped in an environment that enabled his dad to physically hurt him often. Presumably that's why Merle felt guilty about leaving him behind. The revelation also seems like it's only intended to highlight the consequences of an absent father figure, explaining Daryl's fear of not making it home, but also justifying his "close" bond with Laurent. The best stories allow a character's emotions to drive the plot, but this just does the opposite, twisting Daryl's backstory to fit the current narrative.
Daryl's backstory made so many people root for him in the first place. It allowed Carol to see him when nobody else in the group could. It helped me process my own childhood trauma. The ways I got to watch him overcome his violent past gave me hope that masculinity could mean more than what I grew up around—more than anger, shouting, and swinging fists. Daryl taught me that men could still be tender, kind, and loving even if those closest to them in their childhood never showed them how. I imagine Daryl's representation has been important to boys and men too, specifically to those who were afraid to speak up about their abuse because of the stigma around it. The implications of this scene may not be easily noticeable to some, but they are to me, and I'm deeply offended by it.
I’ve talked at length on this blog about how it takes a village to make or break a show, though it’s usually the showrunner who has to answer for it. I've already mentioned that I do blame Zabel. His knowledge of French history has no value when he obviously didn’t bother to study Daryl’s history aside from reading old scripts and (maybe) watching the first couple seasons. That's incredibly irresponsible and terrifying for S2. I also blame AMC for their short-sightedness and their determination to save face no matter how much it costs them. I blame Gimple for his pettiness. I blame Greg Nicotero for his insensitivity to Melissa and her fans.
As for Norman, he's hinted very loudly that he wants credit for the show being "different," so in theory he should be prepared to take some of the blame too. I can't name all of the decisions he specifically made, but no matter what they were, I can blame him for not speaking up about the shipbaiting, Daryl's wavering loyalty, and the childhood abuse retcon, all things that hurt his character and hurt the fans. I genuinely don't know what else to think other than Norman didn't give either the consideration they deserve. The show has been treated like nothing more than a vanity project, and it’s unfortunate when you think about what he and AMC had to gain from the original Caryl spinoff.
I love the version of Daryl I knew before this whole mess, I love Carol, and I love the relationship between them. I want them to have the story they deserve in S2. At the moment, I don’t know how to reconcile that with the agony I feel over the damages to half of my two favorite characters. If Carol is going to cross the Atlantic ocean to find Daryl, I want him to be the man who threatened to punch holes in all the boats so she couldn’t leave and the man who told her he loved her before—ironically—leaving himself. I need to hear Daryl admit he hasn't been completely honest with the French characters, not because he was afraid of getting too close to them, but because he didn't want to face the pain of potentially living without Carol and TF. I need to hear him say that he can't be Laurent's father, which is okay because the kid has plenty of other family to take care of him. I need to hear him say, out loud, that he could never love another woman romantically because he's already in love with Carol. That's what I need to feel better about this story. That's where my investment is. I feel like Carol is safe in Melissa's hands, but I don't feel like I have anyone to rely on for Daryl. That’s a big problem because their stories are so intertwined. There’s no Daryl without Carol nor Carol without Daryl. If you ruin one of them, you risk ruining both of them, and that’s a possibility I really can’t bear.
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dukeofdelirium · 1 month ago
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If you look up Child Bride by Suzanne Finstad, you can find it on Amazon. I'm not sure if it's online anywhere. The Elvis-Priscilla timeline is basically that they were "courting" a bit while he was stationed in Germany, but it was quite common for teenage girls to do so while chaperoned. They saw each other for five months only on the weekends with other people, listened to music, normal stuff. Then he left and they did not see each other again for two years, though Priscilla wrote him a TON of letters (he didn't write her back a whole lot; as that other commenter said, he had his own steady girlfriend back home!). When she was 16, she visited his family for two weeks and left. About 2 months before she turned 18, she started begging her parents and Elvis to let her come over and live in Memphis. This was weird because Elvis was shooting movies and wasn't in Memphis at all at the time, but it was agreed that she could come if she would live with Elvis' father and his wife so she could be taken care of. But after being there for a few weeks, she just moved all her stuff into Graceland. It was kind of understood that Elvis did want to marry her when she was older, he thought it's what his mother would want for him, but he was also wishy-washy and kind of just went along with what his girlfriends wanted to avoid any conflict or hurt feelings. It was another 3 years before they got married, so she was 21 and he was 31. I think what's annoying is that people DO get the impression that they were together non-stop from the time she was 14, which is not true at all, and Priscilla was definitely the one who was pursuing it the most. Modern minds cannot grasp this, but women used to drop out of school and get married so often in the '50s-'60s, and it was considered fine to date an older man if you intended to get married one day. It was the idea of living together that was more of the scandal, and I think that's partly why Elvis' manager wanted to get the knot tied so bad. (And because he was close with Priscilla's family.) So yes, they "dated" but you also have to adjust your definition of dating to "Elvis wants to go to the movies with a bunch of other people, do you want to be there also?" ... and also he is dating multiple other people all the time. XD So it was not exclusive or serious at that time, it was more, "Let's put a pin in this and circle back down the road." I also want to emphasize that this was all very chaste, Elvis would physically leave the room a lot of times if Priscilla tried to make something happen, even after 18. This was his biggest sin to her.
Hm, interesting stuff. Thank you for the detailed explanations. I’m going to see if I can find this book online or download it somehow as opposed to buying it.
It sounds like to me based on what you’re saying that she didn’t have a personal relationship with him let alone an intimate one despite her continued pursuit of it. I’ll have to do more research in my free time and see if I can read this book, but I already hate Priscilla so this just makes it worse to me lol.
Though I can’t speak of hatred toward her when it comes to Elvis because I am not a fan of him. But I cannot stand the things she says about Michael Jackson and the way she tries to villainize him for the crime of *checks notes* wanting a family with his wife…. My real issue isn’t even the villainizing, it’s the fact she’s trying to say that this black man would be so privileged to be around Presley genetics and that their white genes are so precious and sacred and that he desperately wanted it by any means necessary that comes off as very racist of her.
Especially considering MJ clearly didn’t give a fuck about “Presley genes” bc he had a nobody nurse birth his first two kids 😐
Priscilla seems to live in her own world where in HER reality MJ saw the Presley bloodline as above all others or something. But in reality, he was a Jackson and he certainly didn’t need the Presley name, fame or “genes” and he also wasn’t even a fan of Elvis
Anyway, rant over (for now lol). I’m gonna check this book out and do some digging
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Can you please make a fic or a snippet about how Zach looked for Cammie when she ran away? Thank you and pretty pleaseee
"I can't believe you told her to run away."
Zach rolled his eyes. "Baxter. We've been over this countless times now. I did not tell her to run off on her own."
"You told her to run off with you," she amended. "Not much better."
"If being mad at me will help you feel better by all means," he snapped. "But it's not productive to getting her back so maybe keep it to yourself for now."
"Okay, can you two not kill each other as soon as we leave?" Macey said, finally turning to face the pair. She crossed her arms over her chest. "It's bad enough we're being dismissed and separated, we don't need you two trying to tear out each others throats."
Zach and Bex said nothing, both averting their gazes and looking at the ground. It was a situation where everyone was right and everyone was mad about it.
"They're separating us so we can't scheme and go off on our own mission," Liz chimed in. "But you two are staying together," she pointed at Zach and Bex.
Macey scoffed, having resumed packing. "Yeah. Whose idea was that?"
"Not mine," Zach and Bex said at the same time.
"You're missing the point!" Liz said. "You two will still have each other. And you two arguably know Cammie best."
Bex looked from Liz to Macey. "What? You don't trust Zachary and I to have a boring break together where we hang out and-," she paused, looking at Zach. "What is it that you do exactly?"
He shrugged. "Devil worship mostly. Except on weekends. I have a book club."
Bex ignored him. "My parents will be watching us like hawks. That's the whole reason Zach is coming with us. To be babysat." She emphasized the last word, shooting Zach a look.
"And I have full intentions of being sat," he replied. The girls talked a bit more after that but Zach didn't participate. The three of them left together, Bex walking Macey and Liz out. Eventually, rather than her returning, Zach met her in the foyer, escorted by Mrs. Baxter. Mrs. Baxter led the way out of the academy. Bex went to follow but Zach grabbed her arm. "For what it's worth," he said when she turned her surprised gaze on him. "I'm not mad that you blame me. I blame me too."
"So, what would you have done?"
It was the first thing either of them had spoken to each other since leaving. There were finally no adults hovering over them and Bex had been wondering about the answer since they passed the gates of the school.
"If I was her?" Zach asked. He was sitting back in a chair, not exactly relaxed. Honestly, it was more like he was trying to melt into it and disappear. Maybe he was. "I wouldn't have come here."
The lack of snark was already a departure in their usual conversations. Cammie's absence was already taking a toll.
"No shit," Bex mumbled. She slid down the wall across from him and sat down.
"I'm serious," he said. "She left without us. She wouldn't go where any of us are unless she needed to. I saw your map. You guys did a lot of planning where she would or could go, but you didn't bother trying to narrow those down through process of elimination."
"Enlighten me then. Where wouldn't she go?"
"Nowhere near Gallagher, her grandparents, or Liz. The states are huge but it's safe to assume she left there. Nowhere Macey's family has a house until she knows which one she's going to be in for break. And she definitely won't be in London," he gave Bex a wry smile. "Otherwise she'd risk being dragged in here by her ankles."
"True," she agreed. "But what would you have done? You go through that passageway and you're outside of the academy and what do you do?"
"Why ask me? You know her better than I do," he admitted.
Bex chewed the inside of her cheek. "Maybe. But Cammie and I... we don't think the same. Our first instincts are different. Sure, I know she wouldn't take a main road or be caught dead using her own name, but..." she sighed. "You guys are so alike."
Zach frowned, looking down at the floor. Several minutes of silence stretched out in front of them.
"I wouldn't have gone out that passageway. She did us a favor by leaving a note it would be silly to do more than that. Her primary goal was to get out of the academy without being seen, she knows how to do that better than any of us. I'd probably take whichever one gets furthest from the school, but any of them would do. I'd hop on a bus but she might not have wanted to risk being remembered by the driver or anyone. But she's also the chameleon and the CIA doesn't exactly do routine detective work like you see on TV-,"
"You watch TV?" Bex interrupted his ramble.
"No," Zach replied, without missing a beat. "I definitely wouldn't go into town, too much of a risk being recognized. Those townies sure have a knack for finding her." He paused finally. Bex wondered if it had something to do with Josh, but it was far worse. "Whenever she gets in a spot where she's not worried about you all finding her she'll have to switch gears into worrying about the Circle finding her. Once Gallagher shows signs that she's gone everyone's looking for her. And she knows that. She's trying to run towards something while outrunning us and them. I would have tried to make as much headway as possible in those first 24 hours with what I was running toward in mind. Now, I'd be doing counter maneuver after counter maneuver."
Bex nodded. "She's good."
"Are you worried about her?"
"Are you?"
"Yes," Zach said, without hesitation. "I didn't want her to go alone." Bex scowled and Zach sat up in his chair. "Tell me you wouldn't feel better if I was with her instead of here with you."
"Believe it or not, I'd prefer you both be here." Bex said. But the words had no bite in them. "You'd protect her," she relented. "I know that."
She rose off the floor, stretching. "We should go make an appearance."
Zach nodded. "How long do you think we have before our first opportunity?"
"We're the two most suspicious people in the world as far as my parents are concerned. Could take a while," a smile tugged at her lips. "Or we could get creative."
"I can do creative," Zach agreed, also standing.
"Great," she said, heading for the door. "So, where are you gonna go?"
Zach smirked, following behind her. "I'll send you a postcard."
Go to (part) ask 2!
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outrunningthedark · 2 years ago
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"Because people want Buddie to happen a lot quicker than it will, if ever, especially when some accounts don’t stop talking about everything having ~meaning~."
This needs to be said, because the same people who say "what the hell are you guys talking? The episode is GOOD!" are the same people engaging in specs and pushing them as if they're going to happen. People are built different, not all are capable of evenly splitting their minds between fun discussion spec and fervently wishing for the spec to happen. Sure it gets a lot of notes on the site, but doing the above feels like throwing hands whenever people react over the theory not coming to fruition.
Yeah, people obviously care about Buddie and the potential of Buddie going canon because it's all they'll focus on leading up to an episode, and then when the episode airs suddenly they remember other characters exist, LOL. My thing is that any Buddie shipper - especially a queer one looking through a queer lens - can make ANYTHING fit their headcanons/theories/wants. That doesn't mean the (supposed) straight guy and straight woman running the ship are seeing it the same way, especially when the straight woman in charge didn't think Marisol's scene with her brother was gonna come across as "inappropriate" or that fans will claim asking your best friend to be the guardian of your kid is a queer thing to do, which, in her defense, it's actually not, because there's definitely people who wouldn't ask a sibling or family member over a friend - if that were even an option - including me (lol, sorry, y'all, it's the price of having no connection with your sisters). What *is* weird about it is that Eddie asked while in a relationship already, but all that did/does is emphasize how wrong Ana was for him and he wouldn't be looking for a new relationship anytime soon (which is why it's equally as likely that he ends the show single as it is for him to end up with Buck). The way some people talk about Buddie is just...we're crossing a line where "not being normal about a show" has gone from funny like "funny haha" to funny like "imagine needing notes this bad..." because you know they don't believe what they're trying to sell.
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obsidianmama · 11 months ago
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Hunt, Gather, Parent Review: Prologue
After a months-long hold at the library, I have an ebook copy of Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff, PhD and am ready to review it! It's been recommended a lot among parents whose parenting philosophies and approaches have a lot of overlap with my own. Based on that, I expect to find within it a number of ideas I already practice within my own parenting, and am hopeful to find some new tools to add to my repertoire- after all, L is turning 3 in a few months, and that will be a whole new world for us to navigate together!
I have also harbored a few concerns. This is a book that specifically focuses on Indigenous parenting practices, but is written by a white woman. As a white person myself, I'm not the most qualified person to examine the nuances of non-Indigenous people talking about Indigenous cultures, so for the most part I'll focus on the parenting advice in my review, but since it IS important to address, I will try to point out what I do notice about how Doucleff handles her relationship with and portrayal of the people she's studying.
Since we're already on the subject, why don't we start with what we learn about these groups and how Doucleff approaches them in the prologue?
TREATMENT OF INDIGENOUS GROUPS
The book's focus is on the Maya, Hadzabe and Inuit peoples, with a section devoted to each culture. Since it's only the prologue, we don't get a lot of detail about them yet. We DO get a pledge from Doucleff to give 35% of her advance for this book to the families and communities featured within, which addresses one of my biggest concerns about a white person profiting off of Indigenous experiences- at least a significant chunk of that money is intended to go back to those communities. I don't really know if that's enough, and I can't find any information on if that money actually did get sent where it was promised.
Doucleff does emphasize that Indigenous families are as "contemporary" as any other, and notes "We...scold parents of different cultures when they don't follow our rules. At other times, we swing too far in the opposite direction and romanticize other cultures... Both types of thinking are categorically wrong" (page 11). She's definitely AWARE of a lot of the pitfalls of what she's doing. Whether or not she really avoids them remains to be seen.
Apparently she consulted with a number of experts such as anthropologists, evolutionary biologists, and psychologists as part of her research. But I feel like an anthropologist might have flagged her broad-strokes claim about hunter-gatherers being parenting experts. I'm sure many of them are, but it seems like a generalization from my layman's perspective. I'm going to be keeping an eye on that sort of thing as I read.
THE THESIS STATEMENT ON PARENTING
The prologue opens with an anecdote about Doucleff laying in bed early one morning, dreading having to wake up and face her daughter, whom she's begun to consider an enemy. She hates feeling that way, and wishes it were different, but she doesn't know HOW. She was raised in an angry home, where yelling and even throwing of shoes was common. She says that, simply put, she just didn't know how to be a good mother.
I like the frankness here, because this is something to which a LOT of parents, especially mothers, who face higher expectations and greater scrutiny for their parenting, can relate, yet often feel too ashamed to even admit. Doucleff talks about how much time she spent yelling at her three-year-old, only be to slapped and screamed at in response; how she would tell Rosy to put on her shoes to go to preschool (my feelings on three-year-olds in preschool are a topic for another day) only to be faced with the dress AND the underwear coming off. That kind of stuff is hard to admit to, because people WILL make you feel bad about it, as if you don't feel bad enough about it already. And if you don't, being shamed for it won't help you realize what's wrong with the picture.
The thing about parenting is that most of the tools in your parenting toolbox are going to come from the people who raised you. You might throw a few out because you remember those ones, specifically, hurting you, but even when you know some of them deal damage instead of fixing problems, when you don't have anything else to reach for, you're going to work with what you've got. I can relate to that, and I appreciate her candor about this. Parenting advice from people who pretend to be perfect is parenting advice you can ignore.
So, Doucleff knew something was wrong, but didn't know what or how to fix it. At the time, she was a reporter for NPR, and apparently one fateful trip to the Yucatán opened her eyes to different possibilities. This inspired her to take her daughter around the world, staying with various Indigenous peoples- many of whom are hunter-gatherers, hence the book's title- and learning new skills and wisdom from the parents she met there.
We get the bold claim that the style of parenting she learned in her travels is "universal" and children are "hardwired" to be raised like this. Now, I do think that all children will thrive the most if they are treated with respect, I would confidently declare that much to be universal. But I'm just going to need to hear more about the specific approaches recommended in this book before I can evaluate whether they're even good ideas generally.
According to Doucleff, the predominant parenting advice (she doesn't specify "in the US," but I will) centers a Euro-American perspective and is the reason for the alarmingly high rates of anxiety in children and teens and for Gen Z being the loneliest generation in decades.
The fundamental problem with mainstream parenting advice is that it centers the need for control. Either the parent is in control, or the child is, and if your child is out of control, you're a bad parent. This attitude sets up parent and child for a relationship marked by power struggles.
The issue of "Euro-American" as a synonym for "Western" aside (though I do have some issues with both terms), I would agree with the insight about control. In fact, Joanna Faber and Julie King addressed the power struggle in How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen (2017). If you view every interaction with your child as a fight for control, your home is going to be constantly embroiled in conflict, a miserable and harmful environment for everyone. Autonomy is a basic human need; therefore trying to control children against their will is going to cause them extreme distress, and they don't know how to handle extreme distress, so they're going to fight to exert control on their lives and they're going to try to emotionally regulate through yelling, crying and violent movement, the only ways that are available by default.
As the prologue comes to a close, the author emphasizes that the goal of this book isn't to make anyone feel bad about their parenting, but rather empower them to become more skillful and be more in harmony with their children. I think this ties back to the anecdote with which the book opens, where Doucleff honestly relays the deeply troubled relationship she had with her then-three-year-old. The parenting she described doing at the time was not effective, harmonious, or constructive. She knows what it's like to parent like that and feel guilt and helplessness as she gets into a shouting match with a toddler because she doesn't know what else to do. A lot of parents have been there. Chances are most people picking up this book are where she was back then- filled with frustration, guilt, dread, and at a complete loss for how to break out of the cycle of misery making their and their beloved child(ren)'s lives hell. If you already know what you're doing isn't working, you don't really need someone to come in and say, "You're doing a bad job and ruining your child's life!" That will probably hurt and upset you, but it won't help you do any better. What you need is for someone to say, "I know it's hard and you're doing your best. Here's something else you can try instead."
I don't know yet if this book is something I will personally recommend that people try instead, but I do think the long waitlist I had to sit through for a copy of it is heartening. More and more, people are going, "This way that I've learned from my parents and from the culture I live in is hurting more than it's helping. I want to find a different way so that my child and I can be happy together, so that we can be on the same team instead of enemies." It's not everything, but it is a big step in the right direction.
And if you have ever taken that step, or are doing so now? I see you. I know how it feels, and I know how hard it is. Things may not seem to get better right away, but you're making a positive difference. Your child will be better off because you made the effort to learn and change. You're going to make mistakes, but you'll say sorry and keep trying again and again until you get it right.
And it will be worth it.
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redsaurrce · 2 years ago
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LESSON I
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LESSON II / LESSON III
Synopsis : In which he took every opportunity to fuck the daylights out of you.
Pairing : YandereTeacher!jungkook x bully student fem!reader
Genre : smut, high school au
Word count : 4.0K
Taglist: @darkuni63
Warnings : 18+, Profanity, kissing, nipple play, YANDERE THEMES, use of stick and blackboard marker at intimate parts, chewing gum used for sexual purposes, non-con, mentions of licking sneakers, cumming
-
You licked the lollipop around your plump lips as you pulled it out with a pop, your left boot rested on the shoulders of the boy who tried to flirt with your best friend last night in the party.
"Listen you rat! If you are found to make a move on Arin once again," you looked down at him with threat filled in your eyes, "I'll make sure your father gets kicked out of his job and never get a chance in another company." The boy's eyes flickered and he dropped down while rubbing his hands asking for apology, "I'm so sorry Y/N, I'm very very sorry Arin this won't happen again."
You smirked. Afterall you were the richest kid in your school, who comes from a powerful chaebol family, your grandfather was next in nomination to run for the president. No one would dare harm a single hair on your body because they knew your background, your impact.
It was deadly.
Although you were infamous as a rich snob or the bully, you didn't particularly go on bullying people for no reason. A coin has both sides, people picked up whichever side they wanted to see yours themselves. Some admired you for saving them from other assholes while the others either hated you because
1- they were those assholes
Or
2- well yeah you did sometimes lose your temper over petty things and bullied them
Or
3- simply out of jealousy
But did you really care? Nope!
-
You were chewing your gum as you took your seat, crossed your legs and took out the biology book and flipped the page to where the lesson was left last day.
God who cared about those cilia and flagella, ugh. You were pissed.
After a moment you saw a person step inside the class who was definitely not your teacher, this man was much more handsome.
You heard the girls in front and back of your desk squeal among themselves, you scoffed. Were they already sold before this man even opened his mouth?
You shrugged off, none of your business afterall.
"Hello everyone I need your attention, today onwards I will be taking your biology classes instead of Mr. Leviski." He smiled, all were swooned.
"I am Jeon Jungkook, nice to meet you my dear students." And everyone chirped in with enthusiasm, "Nice to meet you too Mr. Jeon."
-
He started reading the chapter while you listened to him with half lidded eyes only waiting for the period to end already.
You yawned, "You there, what's your name?" He said while you kept looking at those big letters on your book which read 'cytoskeleton' . Arin who was sitting next to you nudged at your elbow and whispered, "Y/N he's asking about you!" You saw her from the corner of your eye then shifted your attention to your new teacher. You raised your forefinger and pointed towards yourself, "me?"
"Yes you, what is your name?" He asked you in all seriousness while you were still unbothered. "Y/N, Han... Y/N." You emphasized slowly on your name for him not to ask you to repeat again. But why, to him the way you said your name sounded so seductive in addition to those uninterested eyes? Was he getting delusional? He sighed as he ran his hands through his hair.
"No student is allowed to chew anything in my class, throw it out, now!" And he firmly pointed his thumb towards the door. You almost groaned, lord it was his first day and he was already beginning to get fucking annoying.
-
You were walking through the corridor and sighed, what a boring day and Arin walking next to you wasn't really helping anything to cope up with your boredom. "Y/N!" Finally she thankfully opened her mouth, "Don't you think Mr. Jeon is too handsome to be a teacher? " nope, you weren't thankful anymore.
"I don't know. But it's true that I don't really want him as my teacher." You said with pursed lips. "Oh c'mon are you still mad about the morning incident? " She pouted.
"Well obviously, he needs to be reminded of his place soon enough as--" Before you could complete your sentence you spotted your mother and father talking with the principal and Jungkook with broad smiles on their faces- something that they never gave to you. Beside them stood your elder sister, most probably receiving praises given how good of a model student she was, also the topper of her class.
Your parents always treated her as the princess when they outright neglected you, you were not much of an attention seeker but it did hurt, it hurt to see that they were capable of loving but you were not the receiver, even once.
You took Arin's arm and turned her around to leave but WAIT! Why was that Jeon Jungkook talking with your parents so happily? Was he trying to secure something? You contorted your eyebrows at the thought that your parents never heed their attention to any teacher, he being new to this school at that was pretty much unsettling to you.
-
It was another day in school while you walked in the cafeteria, carrying your plate to your seat.
As you took in your third bite, a large thud was heard and your foot felt something hot.
"Holy fucking shit! My favorite Fendi sneakers!! " You screamed in anguish as you looked at the curry spilled over them.
You glared at the girl sitting on the floor who had tripped and caused this havoc, you stood up in front of her. "Lick them clean bitch." She cried at the venom-filled words you spat but that was only adding to your anger.
Jungkook entered the cafeteria and he witnessed the scene, in anyone's eye it was evident that you were bullying just another student.
His eyes turned dark, he needed to teach you a lesson.
"Y/N!" His voice echoed throughout the silent cafeteria as it was silenced by your scream.
You groaned, which motherfucker had the audacity to interrupt you?! You turned to see that handsome annoying face once again.
"Follow me to my office, now!"
Fuck! You cursed under your breath.
-
He looked at you with his dark lustful eyes while you stood at a corner near the door, "Open your shirt" He commanded as he flipped through the register kept on his table.
You sighed, "Mr Jeon can you be specific? I didn't get the reference. "
"I never made one, it is what I told you to do- open.. your.. shirt." Your eyes went wide, the fuck?
You blinked and then scoffed, "What will happen to you if this gets out? Have you ever thought of that?" He sighed as he kept the register aside, "Of course! Who do you think the world would believe? A bully or a sweet teacher? It takes a matchstick to start a fire Y/N and that fire will only burn you, not me." He shook his head with a smirk.
You grit your teeth, "I will tell my father! Do you even know who I am?"
He chuckled, "A spoilt brat whose father wouldn't even care even if she died?"
Your expressions changed completely, clueless of how he knew about it and also scared of what advantage he might take of that information.
"You didn't expect me to know that right? Too bad! Now kneel down and open your shirt, don't make me repeat again." He said casually sitting back on top of the desk in his office.
You hesitantly kneeled down, your hands shaking while opening your shirt. A pink bra with white lace, how cute!
He stood up and went to close the door, "Now open that bra." You clenched your fist in anger, what kind of a punishment was this?
He sighed, "if I repeat the sentence once again I'm gonna kick you out of this room without the shirt." Fuck! You'd be embarrassed to death if people saw you like that.
"Alright then let me repeat again, Y/N open-" and before he could finish you hurriedly opened your sports bra with your boobs bouncing off by the speed you opened them.
He grinned. "Keep your hands off them." He took his stick and tapped on your arms which you brought up to cover your breasts.
You gulped as you removed them. What a good girl! And in an instant he opened the camera on his mobile and it went- snap! Your eyes filled up with absolute horror. "Relax, I won't do anything with the photo as long as you obey me." He smirked.
He then traced the outline of your boobs with the end of the stick which then he pressed on the nipple, pressing them inside. Your face was morphed in pain, you were trying your level best to not stand up and run away from him.
He came closer and sat in front of you, the stick pressing deeper.
"Y/N today onwards you must obey my words and if you don't do so then I'll upload the pic on the anonymous bulletin board of the school." He then removed the stick and stood up. "Put on the clothes back on."
-
Ever since that incident two days ago, you made sure to avoid Jungkook at every cost, even in the classes you tried to remain as inconspicuous as you could.
You were walking down the stairs while chewing another gum as you felt a little stabilized, your breath hitched as you heard your name, "Y/N come to my office." You knew that voice very well, it's engraved in your head like a tattoo since his sentences kept ringing in your head again and again.
Your heart thumped loudly in your chest as you opened the door.
"Everytime you enter this room, you must open your shirt and keep it inside my drawer. That's the protocol you must follow otherwise your photo will be on the anonymous school bulletin the very next second." He said while not looking up from the paper bundle kept beside him on the table.
Your eyes flickered, just why was he doing this to you? You hesitantly opened your shirt and passed by him to keep inside his drawers. "Now stand in front of me." You followed his words.
"Alright, how many chewing gums do you have?" He asked you and you put your hand inside your pocket to count them. "Three, sir." He hummed at your response. "I told you earlier that no student within my eyesight should be caught chewing anything." -- hold on, that's not what he actually said.
"But sir you said--" "sshh no buts!", he continued, "Lets play a game, the rules are that once you will blow the bubble gum and when I hear it burst with loud pop, I'll let you go. Remember one chance per bubble gum." He had his typical half crooked smile.
You fished out one pack of gum.
That should be easy, very easy for you. You nodded and tore the packet of gum, but to your surprise he slid down your sports bra before you could react, your eyes went wide. "S-sir?" He smirked, "Did you think it would be that easy? Now now, go ahead, chew that gum and pop it off if you can." He held your waist to bring you closer and his mouth attacked on your boobs.
The .. hell?
You grabbed his hair as you tried to be stable, you needed your mind to calm down. Meanwhile the man was truly getting more excited at the tight grip on his hair. You thought if that's the condition then you should quickly blow the bubble gum.
You started chewing-- fuck! He started softly chewing on your nipples as well, it took you a moment to realize that he was copying your chewing movements, he chewed on your cherries the same way you chewed on the bubble gum.
Then you quickly extended your tongue to allow the gum to be blown up, he copied the same action with his tongue lapping aroud your nipples in circles. When you tried to blow air in the gum, he sucked very hard on your hardened bud. Shit! You clenched your teeth and thus you failed to properly blow it!
One chance was gone, two remaining. "It's ok I can certainly pull it off this time" You mentally noted.
You went for second chance and saw him shift to your other breast, repeating the same actions- chewing your nipple while opening his shirt and then he opened his pants.
Fuck you needed to be quick! When you were once again sticking out your tongue to blow it up, his hands slid inside your skirt.
Fuck fuck fuck you needed to rush, you quickly blowed air and as soon as you did it, he harshly pinched your clit making you gasp and the bubble gum fell out of your mouth.
Damn it! Second chance was gone too!
He kept smirking as he removed his saliva dripping mouth from your breast, "Last chance or else you will be sucking on my dick till night, understand?" You whimpered, "y-yes sir."
"Good girl!" He smiled as he kissed your bare stomach which churned inside you. "Now onto the last gum." He said and you took it out.
You opened the packet and saw him kneel down, you were confused but his next action threw you in swirls of disgust. He lifted your short skirt and pulled down your shorts and then pulled down your pretty pink panties already soaked from the sensations he made you feel a few seconds ago.
You gulped and then took the last bubble gum inside your mouth, as expected, his mouth was now on your vagina, chewing your pubis like the way he was chewing your boobies moments before.
Your mind went hazy, you were rapidly cumming inside his mouth and he enjoyed every bit of it. For a moment you had even forgotten how to chew because the feeling was overwhelming. You regained your movement and once again stuck out your tongue. Jungkook squeezed your ass as he pushed his own tongue inside your opening. You whimpered but this time you were determined, no matter what, you will blow it with all your might.
And you did! You squeezed your eyes when blew air, the pressure also made twice your cum come out which filled up Jungkook's mouth deliciously. He moaned at the flavour when he heard POP! Ugh he went easy on you!
You pant for air, mind screaming in victory. He was disappointed at himself for not going a bit more hard on you and he hated it.
He stood up, "Well I think from now on whenever you'll chew bubble gum, you will be reminded of today!" He smirked, "And if I catch you again chewing them, I'll make sure you won't be able to get out of this room."
-
You went to your class all drained out, you sat on your seat and sighed. "You okay Y/N?" Arin asked you with worried eyes as you had missed a period already. "I'm not." You said before putting your head down as the bell rang.
You were peacefully resting when you heard students greet the teacher who just stepped in.
"Good afternoon students!" Your eyes shot open while recognizing the voice, it was him. Even though his voice was cheerful, you felt nothing but nauseous.
No! You sat up straight immediately because anytime you gave him room for to find flaws in you, he made sure to use it like a wild animal.
He smirked when he spotted you quickly sitting up like a good student, a good girl! He smiled as he looked down at the book.
"My goodness his smile looks so gorgeous, I wish he could step on me while smiling like that." A girl whispered who was sitting behind you and you wanted nothing more than to puke on her.
After finishing the portion of male and female genitals he announced, "Alright class I'll take a test on this portion tomorrow so be prepared alright?" He smiled to the students before walking out of the class. Ofcourse after seeing you, you who was deep in thoughts. He smiled to himself.
-
No matter how much you tried to focus, the things that happened in Jungkook's office kept flashing in front of your eyes, making you lose focus from your chapter again and again. You didn't even know whom to ask help from- hold on, your sister! She can explain.
You went and stood in front of her door to knock but instead you heard your parent's muffled voices. "So you're saying you want to marry his brother instead?" That was your mother's voice.
You scrunched up your nose, marry? You pressed your ear on the door tightly, "He already is working love, he will also become the future CEO! His brother is still in your school, not to mention in your class- don't be absurd Han Yoo-in." And that was your father's voice.
Well enough of eavesdropping, you walked quietly back to your room. You pondered over what you just heard, was she getting married to a potential CEO against her will?
Guess not all princesses get their lovers and also guess you can't really receive any help from your sister today. Sigh! Gotta do it yourself!
-
Next day you gave the test, honestly you did try your best reading everything clearly and answering them on the paper, yet you knew that you might have made a lot of mistakes.
Jungkook saw that on your paper - a lot of mistakes and he chuckled to himself. But he knew how to teach his little girl well.
A girl tapped on the side of your desk, "Y/N, Mr. Jeon wanted to see you in his office after school."
Fucking shit!
Your face immediately grew pale, was he going to punish you for the test now?
-
After the bell rang indicating that the school was finally over, everyone was walking out of the door gleefully except you, who needed to be present elsewhere. Honestly you saw this opportunity to run, but that would only come to bite back in your ass.
You slowly creaked his door open while your hands were practically shaking while pushing it. He glanced at you and then he went through the papers, he pulled out an answersheet, your answersheet and he clicked his tongue.
You kept your bag down and followed his protocol, opening the shirt to keep inside his drawer near which he was sitting on his chair. "Y/N open the shoes, come here and sit on the table in front of me." You took small steps and sat on the table facing him.
He kept your feet covered in socks on his thighs and spread your legs apart, you weren't even surprised anymore. "Hmm now the paper you've given in carries a lot of mistakes, we need to fix them, right darling?" Did you see this coming? Yes. Did you see the new nickname coming? No.
Your eyes flickered to your answer sheet which was covered in red all over, but you didn't do that bad if you recalled.
He opened your skirt and then slid down your panties, at this pointed you allowed him whatever the hell he was doing.
But to your surprise, he opened his drawer and brought out a black whiteboard marker and opened the lid with his teeth. He leaned in closer to your vagina and then took the marker to mark on your body part, "this is labia majora. "
You gasped, what in the actual fuck? Then he spread open your opening with his other hand, "this is labia minora. " He said as he looked up at your bewildered expression.
Then he kept the marker aside and tickled your another part with his middle finger, making your thighs trying to get close. "That's hymen."
Then he leaned in and ran his tongue all across another part, you clenched the edges of the table, "That's clitoris."
He then stood up and opened his shirt, unbuckled his pants and opened his underwear as well. "Come sit here Y/N", he gestured at the spot in front of him where he was standing, you gulped as you stood up with your wavy legs and went to sit down where he told you to, "Now look up!"
Fuck! He adjusted closer and now you were sitting right beneath his dick, which was already erected.
He began, "This is penis, now I will tell you the parts then when I ask you the questions, make sure you answer right because if you get the question wrong even once, you know the consequences better." His gaze darkened.
He took the marker and opened its cap once again, "this is the glans penis, this goes urethra, now the parts inside are epididymis which is...." He went on and on, rather quickly for your hazy brain to catch up.
"Alright we are good, now one right answer earns one kiss on my penis but the moment you can't give the right answer, you will face your punishment." His lustful gaze hovered over you as you were sitting there like a beautiful fairy you were, the floor already getting wet with your pre-cum, oh he couldn't wait for you to give a wrong answer.
To his surprise, rather to your own surprise as well, you were actually giving correct answers, not like he would complain when he saw you give him kisses on his dick, he seriously loved it infact, your soft plump lips, no he needed to kiss them himself.. right.. Now!
So on purpose he asked you a difficult question, your eyes went wide, "sir you never explained that?" His lips threatening to form a smirk, "no sweetheart, if you paid enough attention in your class you would have certainly gotten the answer correct. Now... prepare for your punishment."
You felt your brain switch off itself, you were terrified at what was coming, "Alright stand up!" As soon as you stood up, he pressed you to the nearest wall as he harshly kissed your lips while both of his hands working to open your bra.
When they fell down he used the opportunity to grab your boobs and thrust his penis inside your vagina. He kept playing with your nipples like turning a switch on and off.
You felt hot in your stomach and your spine getting those electric shocks running down. He detached his lips after biting at one corner of your lower lip then he moved on to the neck. "Soon we will be doing this on our bed baby" He said and once again got back to biting your neck.
Our bed? "O-our bed sir?" You were losing it, literally. "Yes baby, we will marry each other. Also call me Jungkook from now on my love, we will be husband and wife soon!"
The fawk he was saying?
Your nails dig on his hair as he pulled you up against the wall, he sucked on your pussy, "Yeah I will become the CEO of Jeon Pharmaceuticals two months later and your father had agreed to marry his daughter to me." He smiled wide, "No one can separate us Y/N baby."
"W-wait! CEO? Then w-why are you tea-teaching?" You managed to ask him between your moans and whimpers.
He chuckled, "I came here to experience a tough and challenging environment, what place would be better than a high school for that, oh and also to see my future wife as well." What the hell? Why did you never knew about your marriage- wait a damn minute, was he the one your father was talking about marrying to your sister?
Bad enough, because Jungkook thought that daughter would be you.
And you both thought that you were alone in the school so he didn't even bother to close the door. You were wrong, someone did witness both of your activity the entire time- Jungkook's stepbrother Taehyung.
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Hmm.. thinking to make a part 2 perhaps? Do give me motivation for that if u want, which is by giving *cough* feedback *cough* (pls) 🥺💖
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shirophantomvox · 4 years ago
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Analyzing Illumi Zoldyck's Character
Chrollo Analysis | Hisoka Analysis | Killua Analysis
What’s up y’all! Sorry for being away for the last few days. I needed a break from social media because I am so tired of seeing toxic, self-righteous people on my TL. Anyway, quite a lot of you liked my posts about analyzing HxH characters and somehow comparing them to VLD characters. Today, I’ll be talking about Illumi Zoldyck and I’ll try to compare him to a Voltron character. I know many people have already analyzed this character before, but it wouldn’t hurt to add to the discussion some years later. If you want me to write about anything else, send me an ask! The formatting of this post may be different than the one I wrote about Hisoka Morrow (click his name to view that post).
HERE WE GO!
In the first season, all of the characters are contestants for the Hunter’s Exam. I say contestants because this is a contest to see who can win without any injuries and can keep up with each host. I forget what number stage they were at, but I do know they were at the stage where each opponent has to fight each other. They are declared the winner if their opponent forfeits or gives up mid-match. (Off-topic, but) I am going, to be honest; Gon was my favorite character but his flaws began to show, annoyed me, and later led to his horrific downfall (based from YouTube clips). He didn’t know when to stop and kept pushing himself over the limit. Anyway, Killua and Gittarackur are set to fight. This is when things take a turn for the worse.
Gittarackur is a form of a disguise for Illumi to mask his identity. His face is long; nearly (and reminds me of) in the shape of a Tiki. His face also reminds me of the Witch Doctor mask from Scooby-Doo and Hell-raiser. He has several pins stuck in his face to maintain the facial features of Gittarackur. On the flip side, if he removes the pins, his biological form is revealed. Once he does this, Killua is nearly paralyzed; he cannot believe his eyes and I’m sure the trauma he endured at home hit him like a sack of rocks. Illumi then tells Killua that he wants him to return home, that he cannot maintain a friendship with Gon, stated that he was going to kill Gon, but realizes that if he does so he will be disqualified and will not obtain his Hunter’s license.
I’m assuming the cops aren’t a thing in this reality and the only way for them to “destroy” under the law is by obtaining the license. What do you think? I rarely see police officers; all I see are the Mafia and every they suck compared to the Zoldyck's and the Phantom Troupe. Shit, it seems like they’re the police but have twisted motives.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a fictional character or not, first impressions matter and he bombed this one...even for a villain.
But you did this for what?
How can you hypnotize (by using Nen) your own brother into killing another opponent because he doesn’t want to become an emotionless zombie like you? At least, that’s my perception. Telling your brother to run every time he faces an opponent that he knows he cannot win against is the sickest shit I’ve ever seen. I know I’m jumping around but another thought popped into my head. As the seasons go on, Illumi expresses an odd way of loving his younger brother and to him, that means to make him suffer in the same way he had to. It seems like Illumi is jealous of Gon in a way. (I’ve seen clips on YouTube) Killua takes Alluka to the hospital to heal Gon. Illumi has stated several times to Hisoka that Killua was hiding rules from him and that he still wanted to get rid of Alluka. Although it is clearly stated why he wanted Alluka gone, I still think that Illumi was jealous of Gon simply because his younger brother preferred to be with a friend instead of him. This is why he emphasizes “You cannot have friends. Either they will betray you or you’ll betray them.”
As I read and watched as the seasons went on, I noticed something about Illumi and his family. We all know that the children were raised by their parents. Specifically, their dad is a trained assassin. I can’t remember but I think Zeno is their grandfather who is also an assassin.
I view him as a character that has suffered from abuse and trauma in order to mold him into an assassin. He is emotionless, doesn’t really care for others, has an odd relationship with Killua that he doesn’t have for his other siblings, and is a hypocrite. Killua can’t be friends with Gon but every time the show cuts to him, he’s with Hisoka? Something is fishy there. Are they more than friends? OK, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Here's the physical analysis below.
Face
When masquerading as Gittarackur, his face has several pins in them and his hair is in a rock star form of Mohawk that is purple. I’ll give him 10/10 for uniqueness, yet it still reminded me of Hell Raiser.
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I’ve noticed that when he is in public he is in costume. Why doesn’t he reveal himself in public? I’ve researched this and no one could answer this question. My guess is that he is a verified hunter and assassin. How can you carry out your missions if everyone knows what you look like? Without the pins in his face, it reverts back to his natural state. To me, his large eyes and long, shiny black hair are his distinguished features. Although he may be my least favorite character, he does have pretty eyes. Haven’t you all heard of “I got lost in his/her eyes”?
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Yeah, that can be said about him. Most definitely. He rarely smiles and when he does, something BAD is going to happen. I saw him laugh crazily once Alluka began the healing process, the Nen (I guess) rose from the hospital and got on him. This scene reminds me of how Haggar reacted once the Komar’s quintessence bounced from Voltron and bounced onto her. Wow, these supernatural abilities make y’all feel that good?
Clothes
Gittarackur and Illumi wear the same clothes, which should be a clear giveaway that they are the same. Illumi wears a neural green short jacket that has yellow pins in them, a light green shirt underneath, and green pants. His shoes remind me of loafers with a heel on them, something my grandmother would wear.
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I’ve said this before and I’ll say again, these bad-ass men in this show are very stylish and seem to be in shape more than I am. Although Illumi irks me, his fashion is great and this is why people prefer him to be their favorite character. Shows should always produce characters that are memorable; that is the key to a long-lasting fan base.
In conclusion, this anime (for the most part) has well-rounded characters that make the plot interesting and wanting more.
Illumi and Lotor are somewhat similar. They both grew up in abusive households and lost some sense of sensitivity, common sense, and were often “misguided” by their own selfishness. Illumi wants a better life for Killua by constantly brainwashing him into thinking that he cannot have friends and his can only find happiness through killing. Zarkon raises Lotor to be a prince that shouldn't work with planets and should destroy them. This explains why he used deceased Alteans from the colony, drained their quintessence, and didn't give them a proper burial. Lotor IS just like his father but Killua IS NOT like Illumi. Ironic, huh? As we all know by now, Lotor is the son of Honerva (Haggar) and Zarkon. After the rift accident, he became an emotionless, ruthless monster that colonized and destroyed planets just to gain their quintessence. He taught this to his son and once he was old enough to think for himself, he refused to act in such a way. Although he was exiled and said he wasn’t like Zarkon, he was; but worse. Lotor studied and gained knowledge about Altea and its people while using Allura to gain the secrets of Oriande. I say he used her because he knew from the moment he met her that he was harvesting Altean quintessence. While fighting the white lion, he yelled “Victory or Death” which is a common catchphrase the Galra use when they are in battle. In fact, the Galra have been victims of trauma from Zarkon. Zarkon’s ruthless ways of ruling had no other motive except for obtaining quintessence so he could live forever. Silva’s way of raising his children was done to mold them into assassins. Since he was taught this way he did the same thing to his children. Zarkon, Silva, and Zeno think that their ways of parenting are necessary for survive in life when it doesn’t have to be that way. Illumi and Lotor have experienced this horrific parenting and deal with it in different ways. Illumi is oddly obsessive of his younger brother and Lotor is a fucking liar.
This analysis was fun! Next, I’ll be analyzing Killua and Keith Kogane.
If you’d like to see more posts like this, send me an ASK!
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smolstarthief · 3 years ago
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Persona 5/Persona 5 Strikers: Pro-Police or Anti-Police?
Hoo boy... So this honestly has been a LONG time coming on my end because I have seen so much of that debate on social media (Twitter namely) and I can see the points of BOTH sides but there have been moments where it just got out of hand... Especially whenever people tried to put in a more grey/nuanced take only to be slammed and taken out of context. Even repeatedly mentioning the interrogation at the beginning of P5 which, I will admit has gotten tiresome. At least for me, I do still feel for Joker and I wished the game acknowledged his trauma more but there's a thing called, "beating a dead horse" and this is one along with "Haru says ACAB" in Strikers (which was done THREE TIMES in the same arc and it got annoying fast, like shut up already! We get it!). So, let's dive in a little bit:
MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!
Persona 5/Persona 5 Royal
Now let me just say I know! Police in Japan are just as bad if not worse than the West and I STILL hate the idea of Makoto wanting to become a cop for such naive reasons (especially with what happened to Sae, her own sister!)... But there are at least some of form of nuances sometimes and by that I mean, I can see what they were trying to do? I do agree that P5/P5S backpedaled SEVERELY by deciding to sweep issues under the rug after addressing them and not continuing from such. In fact I feel like it could have been a hell of a lot better. But P5 did something different compared to previous games and addresses the issues DIRECTLY right at the beginning of said game! It was tense and horrifying, but needed. Of course... They then sweep it under the rug and act like nothing traumatic happened to our protag which is NOT a good look at all and I'm still pissed off about it. In the main game's case, it's portrayed as more black and white with only a SMALL amount of nuance like that cop that was trying to help Futaba when she went out by herself and got lost (which people ignore entirely by the way). So I CAN see where people got the "anti-police" message from... But that's only the tip of the iceberg as it's ACTUALLY more about Systematic Corruption, not exactly or JUST police corruption. Namely in politics with Shido and the Conspiracy (which is apparently still somewhat around in Strikers until Owada's downfall) controlling everything all the way to law enforcement. The force had been basically under his payroll (including the corrupt SIU Director before his death) whether by force or not (mostly not in this case though). Now honestly, the police depicted there are undoubtedly rotten to the core save for a VERY SMALL handful (the cop that was trying to help Futaba which, again, gets ignored by several). Look at the interrogators who ruthlessly beat and drug a minor without any second thought or remorse for example. But again, the black and white narrative the game kept unwittingly doing ended up being to its detriment in a way. I'm not defending those assholes AT ALL! They deserved every punishment given to them! But for a game that goes on about grey morality... It doesn't quite deliver on that. Still though, it does emphasize that it's more of the fault of the whole corrupt system, not just one part of it. There needs to be change and reform which is what our MCs were trying to do in a way (more like inspiring change but still). In the end, it's all about the following:
Corruption and abuse of power.
Again the police depicted in this game were incompetent at best, corrupt at worse with very few silver linings. But it's not just them but rather the one person responsible for the whole mess. Who had them under his payroll? Who controlled them and by extension all of Tokyo? Who was willing to dispose of anyone who "outlives their usefulness" or is perceived as a threat to what he wants (including his own family)?
SHIDO AND BY EXTENSION THE CONSPIRACY
Bottom line: They are definitely a problem but it's not just them.
"But, Joker and his trauma?"
I definitely understand that and still do. I fully believe he has and still has trauma with the police. Easy! But... I do feel like people go too far with it sometimes. It's hard to explain but there have been moments where people either use it as a justification/argument against someone trying to provide a more nuanced view of things or... Dare I say, depict him like a "uwu soft traumatized boi." Like I said, it's hard to explain on my end so feel free to ignore it. Everyone deals with trauma differently so there is STRONG chance that I'm overanalyzing it. I just remember moments where I just feel a little, I guess annoyed? I'm not sure exactly but final thing: I understand what he went through and I can't imagine how long it would take to recover but I hope he DOES overcome it.
"Sae? Akechi?"
Yep, even though their jobs are different, they are by and large members of law enforcement no matter how you spin it. Both were broken in a way. Akechi is pretty easy to explain with how Shido negatively impacted his life but not much about Sae, who dealt with sexism/misogyny at her workplace along with the trauma of her father's (also a cop) death. She no doubt had some idealism only to be hit with the fact that she's gonna have to use underhanded/downright illegal tactics to get by and even rise up the ranks. She, therefore ended up (well, nearly) corrupted herself before coming to her senses. That's honestly one of the BIGGEST REASONS why I felt like Makoto joining the force to become a police commissioner isn't a good, even a downright naïve, idea. I honestly would have been somewhat fine with it if it weren't for that fact among other things. Regardless of her willpower, it will go south fast.
Now... Onto Strikers!
Persona 5 Strikers
Since the game came out and I started playing it, I still feel like the system is still beyond saving, especially when attempting to do it from the inside. But I don't mind the added nuances that P5 didn't do much of. It's still continuing the critiques, just shows more of what does happen within said system and even has an ACTUAL officer (Zenkichi) say, "Yeah, my job sucks, everyone's corrupt, there are much better ways to do things and make a change but not this. I'm only staying because I have a daughter to take care of and it's all I know. I'm no different from them." Was it all handled well? I wouldn't say "yes" (Joker's trauma is BARELY addressed at all of course) but a little better than what P5's narrative did which only addressed the issues but not exactly follow up on them. Now to be fair... In the system, regardless of where you live, any one within it who remotely tries to do something or speak against it either lose their jobs or even go "missing" irl. Those have happened and it's more proof that yeah, it's rotten to the core. There's no denying it but regardless, that's NOT what the game is about at all. At least that's what I feel about it as it's only PART of the narrative. I think Zenkichi puts it best here:
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Speaking of Zenkichi... Oh boy... Now I definitely understand some of the criticisms with him but honestly, he was the best written (PT) character I've ever encountered! He was honestly the perfect representation of those that genuinely want to help and do good, only to be held back by an extremely harsh reality. It was already hinted at with Sae but here? It 100 percent confirms just how harsh and even cutthroat it can be if it could break someone's idealism so badly. Even Kaburagi of all people thinks the same thing Zenkichi said:
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Then there's his past and it's a tragic one! But let's look more at the decisions he ended up making:
While it was no doubt done to protect his daughter, he ended making a selfish decision along with a selfless one (which was brilliant!) with not only allowing the cover up of his wife's death and denying justice for her, but also ruining an innocent person and their family's lives.
It's horrible, but also... There's a grey area/nuance as with the rest of his character. It was both understandable, but also wrong as he, as Akane's Shadow puts it:
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He sacrificed his values, his morals, all for the sake of having a peace of mind. Speaking of Akane, she's also an interesting case in a way that she more or less perfectly represents the more "black and white" views on justice in general. Namely the more toxic/biased kind. Her reasons are also understandable but she was also acting selfishly by only focusing on how SHE was effected by Aoi's death and not even considering those that were also grieving her death and/or that people grieve/handle grief differently than her. But back on topic.
Her own views and beliefs that law enforcement basically SHOULD be dismantled (mostly out of said childish bias and black & white views) and it's framed as WRONG and it's very much correct on that. Chaos and order are two sides of the same coin, one can't exist without the other. When I say ACAB, I'm calling for reform, defund, have the corrupt held accountable for EVERYTHING and even face jail time for their crimes! Defund the police, have the ones that arrest, harm, and even murder out of bias (race, gender, etc.), lose their badges/jobs and locked up, make improvements! It's saying that there IS still corruption out there and there's no denying it. But fully eliminating the law in general will just lead to more problems. Now granted, she's young and clearly doesn't fully understand why those views are ultimately wrong but still... It was a very interesting subject to tackle and I feel like they handled it well.
Now back to Zenkichi, he was at first in denial about his decisions ultimately being the wrong ones too and even tries to justify it. Of course, his Shadow said otherwise and that was when he finally admitted that he really did act no different from the criminals he despised. But it also doesn't mean he can't redeem himself and that's what ultimately leads to his new resolve:
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That right there along with everything else! There's the nuance! And ultimately despite some hiccups, Strikers handled the grey morality and nuance beautifully! Especially regarding law enforcement! Dare I say, even better than the base game! It continues the critiques with no problem but also showing different sides and areas of it! There is good and evil, but what about in-between? What about the more greyer area? It still says that there IS corruption, sometimes even beyond saving but... Sometimes a small silver lining is hidden somewhere.
Now, the ultimate question:
Is P5 & P5S (namely the latter) Pro-Police or Anti-Police?
Personally, my answer is this: Neither.
Why? What theme do they both have in common?
JUSTICE
Someone puts it best on Twitter that the games are more pro-justice and I fully agree!
P5/P5S gives the idea about following your OWN justice, your OWN moral code and rules, paving your OWN path and not let others dictate it! That's what the MCs ultimately start to learn in both games. Therefore it's pro-justice. Again, do I agree that the system is beyond saving? Yeah. Do I at least acknowledge and understand what the narratives are trying to say and nuances regardless even if I don't agree with some writing decisions (ex: Makoto wanting to become a commissioner despite everything)? Also yes. But at the same time, don't judge a book by its cover for other people (not just law enforcement and politics mind you). Especially some that genuinely DO want to help at best. That there is nuance and greyness, just have to look closely. Some of the MCs are still TERRIBLY written and executed (even annoying) but the message was still somewhat there.
Final Thoughts
Now I fully understand how you all feel of course! I still believe in ACAB and even I agree that maybe I'm one to talk and have a lot more to learn about the world... This is just my own attempt at putting my own two cents in. If you disagree, that's fine! This is just what I've felt should be at least talked about more often. And I tried to phrase it as best as I can without coming off as insensitive or ignorant and if I did, I sincerely apologize for that! I'm not trying to say, come off as a "bootlicker" or any of the sort. I'm just trying show discuss more of the grey areas and nuances that are, more often than not, constantly overlooked. How one interprets both games is ultimately up to them. You, the player. And this is my own interpretation. Simple as that. I hope you all have a good day/afternoon/evening!
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angsty-nerd · 4 years ago
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Max + Identity in Season 2
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In the pilot, when Max self-identifies who he is to Liz, he tells her, "I'm a son, I'm a brother, I'm a cop...I'm just a guy from Roswell." All of those pieces of his self identity are systematically destroyed in Season 2, to the point where in the season finale he's grasping onto the last thing he feels like might be real about himself -- his role as the savior. A role that he scoffed at before his death, that he didn't really seem to believe, until all of the things he did believe about himself were gone. And then he loses that too, upon the discovery that he's not the only one, that he lacks any form of individuality. That Jones is just like him.
We get our first hint that this is coming in 2x05 when Rosa and Isobel get a glimpse inside Max's mindscape. They are literally traveling through the dying remnants of Max's mind, watching as these pieces of him are slowly fading away. There are three key visual clues in these scenes that give us insight into how he sees himself.
Most obviously, in his mindscape he is fully dressed in his Sheriff's Department uniform. This is the self-identity that he projects to the outside world in Season 1. There are many good metas out there about the layers behind that. How he takes his hat off when he's not on the job because he doesn't feel he deserves it. But all in all, his internal self image is the deputy that the public sees. I’ll add a link below to one where Mo and I were discussing this.
He is surrounded by Liz. And slowly losing her. This could be (and is) a meta all on its own about his psyche in general. He said it himself in 1x03 when he told her that he loves her. "That's what everything is about for me!" And this is the visual embodiment of it. His internal identity completely encompassed and consumed by his memories of Liz and all the things that represent her for him. And yes, their slow degredation are a literal representation. Of his memories of her slowly disappearing, but I also definitely would argue that it's exposing his deepest fear as well - that she'll leave him again.
And of course, he is chained to the floor. We are still, at this point in the season, just getting a glimpse at the layers of trauma hidden within his subconscious, but this is a direct look inside of him and his trauma is right there staring him in the face. These are hidden scars that he hasn't even begun yet to discover, but slowly begin to reveal themselves throughout Season 2b. And I expect will be prevalent in Season 3 as well.
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The progression of Max's identity crisis started from the moment he woke up, with a portion of his self literally erased through the loss of his memories of Liz. A lot was made of the sweetness of him telling her at the end of the episode "I am not whole without you." But in a sense that statement could have been almost a thesis for his character arc in Season 2. He spends the entire season not whole, losing little pieces of himself one by one until he's not sure who he is at the end of 2x13.
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Once his memory returned in 2x06, it briefly seemed like Max was back to normal, but that quickly got undercut in the opening scene of the next episode when it was first hinted at that he shouldn't be using his powers anymore. In 2x07 it was suggested that Liz was just being overly cautious, but her fears were proved to be accurate in 2x08 when Max does use his powers and immediately suffers chest pain. Its a physical reaction to his powers that's further emphasized in 2x12 when he almost dies trying to kill Flint. Nothing was explicitly stated, but I still speculate he had a full on heart attack in that moment, or that the pacemaker briefly failed, given how hard it was to resuscitate him. But without his powers, he's not complete as an alien anymore.
In 2x09 he loses what he thought he understood about his own origin story. Sheriff Valenti's version of the incident in the group home not only undercut certain facts about himself that he always had believed to be true - that he was the solid, stable one. That he was the strong one. Suddenly he's being told that he's the traumatized one, that he's the one with the behavioral pattern of being a loose cannon.
He loses his job. Okay, officially he quit in 2x07 to search for Jenna, but let's be honest here...if he hadn't quit, then he certainly would have lost his job when Sheriff Valenti arrested him in 2x09. We saw in his mindscape and heard from his lips in the pilot how strongly he identifies as a cop. But now that uniform, and that identity, have literally been stripped away from him...and replaced with a new uniform, sexy Wild Pony bartender man!
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So, we have him stripped of his identity as an alien with powers, stripped of his identity as a cop. And in 2x10 he gets stripped of his identity within his family, when he learns that he and Isobel are not related. All of those self-identified aspects of himself have disintegrated, and he's left floundering to figure out who he is without those things. Which is why he begins to throw himself into trying to regain his memories, potentially even at the expense of his health through the use of the serum. Because he is so desperate to find a truth about himself to hold on to.
But that journey is also doomed to undercut him. One of my favorite musical moments of Season 2 is the second time he experiences a memory flash triggered by his own reflection, at the end of 2x10, with the cover of Bullet With Butterfly Wings playing over the scene. @echoapothecary did a great set on this scene right after the episode aired... link below.
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son, yeah
Tell me I’m the chosen one
I think in the moment we were supposed to take the visual flash at face value and assume that this was about Max's trauma from being imprisoned as a child, but on rewatch (and frankly, listening to the song over and over and over…) I really think the choice was more about identity, and foreshadowing the reveal of Jones as a mirror, clone, relative, something….to Max?
While in the middle of the S2 experience, one of my favorite gif sets that @maxortecho made for me was this idea of Max, and people constantly cutting him down, while Liz loved him regardless of those things (linked below). At the time I was really focusing on him and his reaction to being constantly told he was a let down. Add to that the appearance of Diego in 2x10, and Max isn’t even trying to hide his low self esteem and feelings of insecurity anymore. But take those constant undercuts and add to it the tidal wave of an identity crisis as all of the things you believe to be true about yourself fall apart, and we're left with the Max we see in the last couple episodes of Season 2. A man on a mission, manic and desperate to figure out who he is now, exacerbated by the fact that he's literally on drugs (the serum).
Only then, in his desperate, manic state, does he find himself willing to believe the implausible (to him) reveal at the end of Season 1 that he might be the Savior. Because it's the last thing that makes him unique, that makes him feel like he has a role, a purpose…until he loses that too at the end of the episode when they release Jones, a literal copy of himself, from his prison.
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All of these gifs were gratefully borrowed from @maxortecho, with two exceptions. Wild Pony Max 🔥 is @rosaortecho’s work, and Howdy 🧔🏻 is (I think) @darlingnotso’s. (Please correct me if I’m wrong).
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blubberingmess · 4 years ago
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Magnet fishing (Bucky x reader)
Summary: you have a hobby and that is magnet fishing, always expecting a few metal scraps and weird, random thingies but one thing you didn't expect at all is a man with a metal arm.
Word count: 1787
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Note: I don't doubt a person with a single neodymium magnet disk could lift someone like Bucky out of a lake... possible but tough.(just an opinion)
*check out my masterlist for more shits :)*
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You finally have a place you could call yours, a bit far out from the nearest village but it's fine, you like the serene atmosphere this small secluded place gives.
The said place you are talking about is just a small cabin, old but still livable. Plus, it's warm and still sturdy after years of abandonment. You got the cabin for less than what you've expected which is quite a steal.
When you decided to buy the place, the seller's eyes almost roll out from their sockets at how wide his eyes went. It got you confused and asked why, and the answer is kinda weird and also downright ridiculous.
An organization called "Hydra" once scouted the area for years a few decades ago, looking for something rather important. Up until now, rumors spreads around that what this Hydra organization were looking for is still out there.
No one dared to go anywhere near the location, not even the bravest of souls. it's a ghost story the adults tells the children whenever they got curious about the said place, that a monster is resting beneath the waters of the frozen lake-- exactly where the cabin is just a few meters away--, ready to attack the person who is stupid enough to trespass it's sanctuary.
"--Who is stupid enough to trespass it's sanctuary," the old man finished, eyes narrowing at you as he emphasized the word 'stupid'. You just nodded your head and thanked the man, grabbed the keys to the cabin and walked away.
It's not just the solitude from civilization that got you interested in this so called 'sanctuary of the unknown', it's becasue of the frozen lake - You're a magnet fisherman--woman--, a hobby of yours. It's illegal on some places so you don't do it quite often despite having a permit, also, you have your own business back in your hometown - winery.
Magnet fishing is a dirty work and most of the time leaves you with just metal scraps, nails, and a few rocks. But the satisfaction you felt is oh so great when you got something more valuable; some lost things and some antiques that values a hefty amount of cash.
So when you heard about the lake, the cabin; both a mile and a half away from the nearest village, you immediately packed all your things and bid your family and friends goodbye back in your hometown.
"Let's check this baby out!" You grinned, pulling out your newly bought neodymium magnet disk from your bag and a long nylon rope. Thankfully, some part of the lake is already melted so you don't have to break the ice yourself.
(Fun fact: neodymium magnet is the most widely used type of rare-earth magnets, also used as jewelry clasps. But they do not significantly attract gold, aluminium, and silver. Which I didn't know until I made this fic. *shrugs*)
It's been a good ten minutes and your magnet still haven't caught anything. Huffing in slight frustration, you hauled your magnet back from the water and changed your position to the other side of the lake.
Once again, throwing the magnet as far as you can and mentally pat yourself in back when it submerged quite far off from where you are standing.
It didn't took you long before you felt something stick to your magnet, a slight pull of the rope indicates it. As you tried to haul the magnet back up, you were shocked at the weight. It's almost unrelenting that you feared it'll slip off from the magnet and with a lake like this, there's a little chance your magnet will find it again.
"Easy, easy," you whispered to yourself, calming your nerves before giving a firm yet strong tug. It works as you felt the mystery metal goes unstuck to wherever it was. Carefully pulling the disk back to the surface with much more effort than you would've though, you finally caught a glimpse of metal - a bit rusty but still shiny looking.
Slowly, you took a step forward all while still gathering the rope and almost stumble down on the thick snow when you noticed what the metal is; a hand. It didn't stop you as you kept on pulling, to the point where the hand finally hits the snow and realized that it's not just a hand.
It's okay, you thought to yourself. It's just an arm shaped metal, must be from a statue.
But you are wrong. As you cautiously walked towards it, you catch sight of something that makes your heart jumps out from your chest and it's definitely not in a good way.
The metal arm that you thought was just from a statue is actually connected to a person; a man - a dead, frozen man
"Holy shit!"
You gulped, staring down at the frozen corpse in front of you. From his chest down still submerged in the cold, icy water. The cold air seeping through your thick clothes yet your palms are sweating as you stand there not knowing what to do, hands tightly wrapped on the nylon rope, just staring at a dead man with a metal for an arm.
This is terrifying, you need to call the police. You mentally groaned remembering that there's no signal around here, but you have your snowmobile so you could use that instead.
Contemplating if you should make a run for it and call the cops from the village or just kick the corpse back in the lake and walk away like nothing happened; maybe even book the next flight back home.
Sadly, you can't do the latter... corpse float.
The magnet is still attached to the metal arm so you gave a strong tug hoping it would separate from the corpse, but sadly, it wouldn't budge.
A small curse and another pull.
A loud curse and another stronger pull.
Frustrated, you were about to scream-- maybe even cry-- when you suddenly saw movements coming from the metal arm, precisely, the fingers. It twitched and so does his body, you grew terrified when his head slightly turned to the side, his back slowly rising and falling, breathing weakly.
"Holy... shit."
.
.
.
"Hi officer, yes, he's alive. I saw- I mean, caught the man from the lake with a magnet disk..." You groaned and shake your head, downing the rest of you wine.
You can't just mention a magnet disk, you don't know if magnet fishing is legal in this part of country - or should you say area.
Fuck me. Forgot to ask permission.
It's been four days since you hauled the man from frozen lake, changed him from his wet, heavy looking of what seems to be his tactical gear to something comfortable; an oversize shirt(on you, it is) and a baggy pair of sweatpants. Not an easy task but you managed to do it.
The man, he isn't some normal fellow you'd see anywhere. There's something more, maybe he's the "something" Hydra is looking for? Is he the ghost? Impossible, it's been decades since that happened. The organization stopped looking for him decades ago.
Who is he? Why does he have a metal arm?
Questions began running around inside your head, different kinds of possibilities that mostly lead you if not in jail; six feet under. Just the thought of it makes you want to vomit and choke on it until you pass out - maybe you could receive some kind of pity and let you off the hook.
You felt yourself slightly gag at the thought of choking on your own vomit.
"The only things I'll ever be choking on is pizza and my future husband's dick," you grumbled to yourself, glaring down at the empty glass in your hand before sighing and turning around.
You suddenly come face to face the man you called 'corspe' multiple times in your head four days ago for twenty minutes, standing strong and tall, an aura that practically screams "touch me and I'll break your neck."
He watch you watch him in fear and curiosity, body rigid and alert for what's about to happen.
What's about to happen?
.
Ten years later...
.
"And that's how I met your father," you finished the story, grinning down at the little girl in front of you.
She 'oh'ed, staring up at you with her big sea blue eyes, full of curiosity and amazement. "So he's the ghost?" She asked with her squeaky voice, grabbing the last cookie from the paper plate between the two of you and began munching on it.
You chuckled. "I would say 'a really clumsy man who fell from a flying helicopter while running away from the bad guys' but yeah, sure."
"Awesome," she whispered-yelled making you laugh at her cuteness, scooting closer towards your daughter to wipe off the crumbs from her cheek.
"So this is where my girls are hiding." A familiar voice sounded from the small entrance of the tree house. Looking over, you saw your husband climbing up the ladder.
"We're not hiding, daddy!"
"Of course you're not, princess." He sat himself beside your daughter and raised a brow at you, a smile on his face. "But your mother here is."
"I'm not hiding, daddy," you repeated your daughter's words, fluttering your eyelashes at him with a grin on your face, biting your lips to prevent yourself from laughing.
His eyes darkens but he kept the smile on his face, pretending he didn't caught the look on your face he know all too well. "Yes you are, honey. Anyways, what are you two talking about?"
"The day you first met!" Your daughter beamed.
"Really?" Buck's eyes flickered at you for a moment as he spoke.
The little girl nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yup! It's so romantic," she sighed dreamily but she frowned when she pat the paper plate and found it clear from those delicious cookies Wanda baked for her.
"Oh, the cookies are gone, can I get some more, mommy?"
"Okay, sweetie. Be careful on your way down."
The two of you watched your daughter climbs down the ladder with ease, already familiar of the steps and the safe places to put her feet on.
After a moment of silence, Bucky speaks up. "You didn't told her about me frozen under the lake for three decades, did you?"
"Nah. Told her I saved you from drowning while I'm fishing at a random lake; miraculously woken you up with a kiss."
"That sounds ridiculous."
"Also, don't worry, I didn't tell her I jumped your bones on the fifth day of knowing you."
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@jasondean1972 I saw you reblogging and liking my posts while I'm editing this, and I love it 💛 don't worry, I think I'll be making my android!Bucky one-shot a series.
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saskaykun · 4 years ago
Text
Taka’s members’ bond with Sasuke. (For Taka team’s stans, this one’s for you.)
I don't think there's any point in introducing the Taka team again.
But as today's point is to prove the link as a point of complementarity with Sasuke. I'm going to take a look at the personal lives of each of them. 
Ps: sorry for the typos, english is not my mother tongue.
SUIGETSU:
We are going to start with Suigetsu, like Sasuke, Suigetsu had a big brother, pretty strong and skilled because Mangetsu was the only one of the 7 swordsmen of the mist to master the 7 swords of Kiri. Suigetsu's dream was to become as strong as his big brother to enter the 7 swordsmen assassins club, whom he admired a lot, but Mangetsu died rather prematurely while protecting his little brother Suigetsu. Suigetsu trained hard to barely match half of his big brother's sword skills. He also comes from a known clan from the village of Kiri, the clan Hozūki, and owns a Kekkei Genkai, which allows him to liquefy his body from flesh to water. Pretty handy for a swordsman, isn't it?  No blade can pierce his body. That's also why Orochimaru was interested in him and kept him prisoner in his laboratories for so many years. Doesn't that remind you of Sasuke? The story of the big brother to be surpassed in abilities, even though he was so admired by the little one? Sasuke had to kill Itachi because he had to avenge his clan, Suigetsu had to become much better than Mangetsu because he promised him before Mangetsu died, that he would take back the title of "Kijin no Sairai" - "the second coming of the demon" (as far as my translation is concerned), so he got it into his head to collect all the swords from Kiri village, in order to take back his brother's inheritance. It's rather cute when you think about it. Suigetsu, in spite of appearances, is not a deeply evil person even if he spent most of his life training to become an assassin. Of all the times he made fun of Karin for her feelings towards Sasuke and Karin hit him, he never twisted back once. Suigetsu doesn't have a family anymore, like Sasuke, he's the last survivor of his clan. Moreover, I wanted to add that Suigetsu, sometimes appears like a coward but is actually very competent, and he is certainly a better swordsman than Sasuke. At the same age, (at 16 years old) Suigetsu had already done 2 - D rank missions, 33 - C rank missions - 40 - B rank missions, 13 - A rank missions and finally 4 - S rank missions originally reserved for jônin, can he be considered as such?
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KARIN:
What do we know about Karin?
At first, not much is said, except that she is a very competent sensory ninja, that Sasuke, with Suigetsu came personally to look for. He chose her, among many other competent ninjas. He acknowledged her as the best in her field. That's a canon fact. 
Another true thing, Sasuke, who came personally to pick her up, confessed that he needed her to reach his goal.
"I need you, Karin", really happened. 
He wasn't forced to do it, on the contrary, Suigetsu, who wasn't a big fan of Karin, spent his time dissuading Sasuke from going to pick her up and take her on the team, but Sasuke insisted.
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They saved each other's lives several times. Karin healed him with her "Heal Bite" and he during their fight against Killer Bee, awakened a new power from his Mangekyō Sharingan: Kagutsuchi. He was able to extinguish the flames of the Amaterasu that had touched Karin. His face, scared of losing his teammate, proves how much Sasuke cares about his Taka teammates but especially about Karin. After I will not go on betting that he cares about her, romantically or just friendly because that's not the point and nothing in the manga proves that he did it romantically or kindly, I just want to emphasize this point: he was willing to die, and put Juugo's and Suigetsu's lives in danger in order to save Karin.
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We learn a little more about Karin, during the Edotensei scene with Itachi and Sasuke against Kabuto. Kabuto then talks about Taka team members and reveals to Sasuke that Karin is indeed part of the Uzumaki clan, like Naruto, and that's why she has a huge chakra cluster. She regenerates quickly her own wounds but she can help others to regenerate and heal themselves by sharing her chakra, by biting her because it's the fastest way: in fact, the injured person drinks Karin's chakra and regenerates herself/himself in a few moments.
Besides the fact that Karin was used by Sasuke to locate Itachi through her powerful chakra and to warn him of his possible enemies, and of course to heal him in case he would be seriously wounded, she is not an exceptional ninja in combat, she must even very often be saved either by Sasuke or by Suigetsu. Sasuke knew that very well. He was never shocked that Karin might be a weight for them in their adventures. He chose her by himself, nobody forced Karin to be there and decided to protect her.
The scene where Sasuke "sacrifices" Karin to kill Danzō is totally a scene to be taken with extenuating circumstances. Sasuke finally being in front of the person who ruined his life, who ordered the massacre of the Uchiha clan, he couldn't do otherwise, he was forced by all means to kill him. Karin being in his field of action because she wanted to help him, was also pierced by Sasuke's chidori blade. Don't forget though, that he didn't really sacrifice her because she didn't die, since he didn't aim at Karin's vital points.
I still want to thank Sakura for helping Karin with her medical ninjutsu, she is still part of Karin's healing process, without Sakura's intervention, she might have had a hard time healing this time.
I also wanted to point out, on the scene following Karin's famous "sacrifice":
Karin thus finds herself on the ground, dying slowly, Obito then proposes to Sasuke to finish her off, properly because she knows too much about their plan. Sasuke doesn't even take the time to answer him. During this scene, Sasuke takes an exceptional time to load his chidori, giving Team 7 time to arrive on the scene, another proof that deep down he really didn't want to kill her. It is finally on Sakura that Sasuke decides to use his chidori, and not on Karin. Karin then dissuades him... but Sakura is really not far from being killed this time by Sasuke.
This scene is powerful, but it shows the total disinterest of Team 7 in the eyes of Sasuke, at least the disinterest he has in Sakura's life. Sakura being a burden, and considering her as the enemy, had to be eliminated as soon as possible. He was also never afraid to confront Kakashi. The only one for which he has doubts, a certain apprehension that he tries indirectly to hide, remains definitely for Naruto, but again, he does not hesitate to threaten him if Naruto still chases after him.
To finish with Karin, she is part of the Uzumaki clan, one of the oldest clans in the Shinobi world, and derived from the Senju clan, there are not many members of the clan left, at least to our knowledge except Karin, Naruto and Nagato. At the end of the war, only Karin and Naruto remain. She shares this fact with Sasuke. She also had lost her entire family during the previous war, her mother was used for medical purposes, literally having her chakra sucked until her death. She became an orphan at a very young age, left to live on her own, abused by others until she met Orochimaru. She has no one left.When she meets Sasuke, she falls in love with him for his beauty, he is pretty handsome, but as a sensory ninja, she found that he has a beautiful and attractive chakra, she realized right away that Sasuke is not as bad as he pretends to be. She took a close interest in him, and I think the interest was mutual.
JŪGO:
Jūgo, is certainly the only member where we are poorly with information about him.
Jūgo is a deeply kind and loving boy but is possessed by a heavy weight that overwhelms him: the cursed seal. He is the first holder of the cursed seal, it is with his DNA that Orochimaru started his experiments. The poor man, being unable to control his murderous impulses, preferred to die rather than to leave his cell when Sasuke, Suigetsu and Karin came to get him. Sasuke promised to hold him, Jūgo, usually not confident, agrees to come with them because Kimimaro had acknowledged Sasuke. Jūgo, in addition to his incredible physical strength when possessed by the cursed seal, is able to communicate with the birds. Sasuke uses Jūgo through this ability so that his birds can locate the Akatsukis' hideout and that he can create a map from the information transmitted by these birds. Also, Jūgo is an orphan, and since Kimimaro died, he was literally alone in the world. He has no known family, and his affiliation to a particular clan is unknown. Another peculiarity that Sasuke shares with his teammates.
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I consider Jūgo as Sasuke/Suigetsu/Karin’s big brother. He took care of them. There also is a scene where he puts Sasuke in his futon after having treated him and bandaged him, because Sasuke had fallen asleep sitting, from exhaustion.
This boy is soooooo cute and gentle. His bipolar side contrasts enormously. His murderous personality with his soft and wise side.
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                 Well, Sasuke's plan was perfect and well thought out.
 To answer the question I was asked, "What do they do as Team Taka, besides help Sasuke enter into darkness?"
I, for one, don't hold Team Taka members responsible for Sasuke's entry into the darkness. Far from it. Sasuke was motivated by his hatred for killing Itachi, and after the final battle with his brother, motivated by revenge for those who led to his downfall. Don't get me wrong, I always feel that when it comes to Sasuke, the people who interact with him are responsible for his actions. No, Sasuke most certainly suffers from PTSD, living in unresolved grief since the death of his family, in hatred and constant pain, doesn't need anyone to think for him. He's an intelligent boy, he knows his purpose, he knows he would sacrifice himself to restore honor to those he has lost. His goal was just that. I sincerely think that deep down Sasuke wanted to change the Shinobi world, build new foundations, and achieve peace, so that what he experienced would never happen again, but it was a kind of pipe dream because he really thought he would die in his next confrontation with Naruto. He expected no less.
It really pisses me off that people think that Sasuke is acting according to the actions of others. I don't remember hearing Suigetsu, Karin or Jugo suggest a plan of action to kill someone or do something. He was the leader of this team. The others were acting on his behalf and not the other way around. He was the one who came to find them, he was the one who surrounded himself with these shinobis to help him achieve his goal. You let yourself be influenced by Naruto “talk no jutsu” in Gaiden who dares to tell the Taka team to mind their own business when he himself spent years to mind Sasuke's business, without even understanding the reason for his actions.
Gaiden makes the Taka team look like the villains who helped Sasuke carry out the actions of his hatred, but look closer, they did nothing so exceptional except help him find Itachi and obey Akatsuki's orders to attack Killer B.
It even seems to me that the Taka team were, in the end, the only ones who listened sincerely to Sasuke, to meet his expectations, to try to understand him. 
A non-canon fact unfortunately, in a novel about Sasuke, after Itachi's death, Sasuke makes a kind of pilgrimage to learn more about his brother, during his Akatsuki period, and then meets two brothers, who were preparing drops for Itachi's eyes, and they make him think about him and Itachi when they were kids. ... I'm going to skip over the real story of this novel, although it's very well written for a non-canon novel, and we find Sasuke on his scene, by the sea, where he desperately lets go of all his pain in a torrent of tears, and decides to rename Hebi team into Taka team.
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Karin, Suigetsu and Jugo were present during one of the worst moments of Sasuke's life: Itachi's death and thus the mourning of his older brother.
In spite of Itachi's terrible actions and choices to raise Sasuke's power, Sasuke still considers him as his beloved older brother who sacrificed himself for a village that never gave them the chance to live, properly...
Again, as I already said in another post, I truly think that all the people close to Sasuke tried to control his choices and his life, without asking his opinion.
Itachi made it clear that he tried to trace Sasuke's life from his childhood to what he became and finally disappointed to have failed... but what the hell did he expect?
Naruto, who absolutely wants Sasuke to go back to Konoha, but why? He knew very well that the people in Konoha would bully him for his actions, when he was already bullied enough to be an Uchiha in Konoha. So Naruto claims to know what's best for Sasuke. What?!
Sakura... is Sakura.
Kakashi and Jiraya tried to dissuade Sakura and Naruto from desperately pursuing a guy who clearly wanted to get the hell out of this village: Sasuke is not worth it.
Decidedly, Sasuke doesn't get much grace from people. Between those who think he's a sulky, who always makes moods because he has some problems in his life and those who judge him without knowing a second of his existence and his journey, he's really badly surrounded.
The Taka team is the only one that hasn't gone into the details and is following Sasuke, even before he decides to explain to them the reasons for this gathering.
I like their complicity. I like their dynamics. They help each other.
Team Taka is the one that Sasuke chose on his own, Team 7 is the one that was imposed on him. Don't forget that.
At least, I didn’t even use your post, but thank you again @justsasuke​ ! It was kind of you :)
                Ps: I found this pic very cute. They are all awesome. 
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yuvon-writes-letters · 3 years ago
Note
[Right on the top of the letter is a sighing girl drawn]
I really thought I could rest a few days before leaving. Like last time, ya know? I could've been more prepared. Didn't even get the call yet.
But I guess you're right. Exactly when you figured it out Jake did, too. (With a little bit help of goldie. They sent him the Tumblr conversation. The whole conversation. Without any comment.)
So yeah, either the MWAF knows where I work or (and that is a scary thought) even is there somehow sometimes.
Jake wanted me to promise to not go back there, but I couldn't. At least not for now. I want to go back there once, for now I shouldn't be in danger. At least not if he goes the same way as last time.
I should get a call from him later that day. And tomorrow I should find the raven note on my desk (after my lunch break). Later that day I saw the first time a guy with a mask. Then again the morning after I took the picture I sent TSB.
And that same evening I started hiding.
So I thought I still had some time...But it seems that isn't the case.
I would love to take Max, even though he can be a real asshole sometimes, but I don't believe that is clever. [The writing becomes shaky, almost unreadable to the end of the sentence]
I don't know anything anymore, just that I don't want all of this to happen again...
[Here are many ink blots, as if a pen was thrown on the paper]
Sorry..Sorry about that. My door bell started ringing. Surprise surprise, my idiot of a cousin. (I still love him though. Even if I'll never forgive him that he stole designs of me. Urgh. Sorry, nervous.)
He thought I acted weird when we texted earlier and my boss wanted him to check up on me.
What does a nervous little fox Liska do? (Little fox is a nickname he gave me when we were little xD I somtimes start using it when we're both in a weird situation)
He almost called the police, thinking I was in some weird 'abusive relationship' with, and I quite, "this Jake asshole".
It seems someone wrote him a text. An unknown number.
I already texted Jake about that..Any my guess is that the MWAF realised that he couldn't hack Jake anymore. So he tries different ways.
But it's fine now, I think I could convince him that everyone was okay. Even though now I have to take vacation with him. He wants to go tomorrow afternoon if I don't want him to call my parents. Why? That if I'm lying I'm not in danger anymore.
I mean, he's not fully wrong. Just that he doesn't have the facts right. (Which he couldn't. I'm still surprised that me being a suspect of kidnapping Hannah or helping a wanted hacker didn't go beyond Duskwood. But that's good.)
Oh and also, Jake just answered, he thinks it's good if I just go with Max in the moment. I think he stalked his Facebook profile. (Max did taekwondo for many years. Facebook tells his story)
But yeah, I am very sorry if this is an unsorted letter, not much happened and still many unsaid thoughts crossed my mind.
Liska🐾🔥
Ps. Also Jake wants me to thank the both of you for taking care of me when he couldn't. And still doing it.
And that I say that he's still not pleased with my decision to go to work tomorrow.
Lis,
So, Goldie's really taking more of an active role, now. I sort of thought they were finished until we massively fuck up again, but I guess they just don't want us to ask them questions or something. Interesting.
I wonder if that means the TSB timeline is still continuing
So the raven note on your desk comes tomorrow? I really wouldn't assume you're safe 'til then, but I guess if your Jake can't convince you, no one can XD
Still. Maybe now-ish would be a good time to take a long trip somewhere sunny. And crowded. Preferably with as many people as possible, who will notice if you go missing.
This is not going to happen again. We have several Jakes and two fairly smart people plus me helping you, PLUS an entity on your side, PLUS the advantage of knowing AND HAVING DOCUMENTATION on exactly how the previous timeline went. All we have to do is figure out a place you'll be safe, and bam, we're done.
...That's a pretty good opportunity, honestly. I agree with your Jake, you should go with your cousin. Though I'm curious what exactly the MWAF said to your cousin that convinced him that you were in danger. You might want to make sure that, a., the MWAF didn't suggest a location and you're not going there, b., your cousin turns off GPS tracking on his phone or just leaves it at home, and c., that your cousin doesn't post pictures of you on social media wherever you go.
Don't worry about the letter not being neat and stuff, I don't care too much about that. As long as
One sec Jessys texting me
Nothing important, she's still trying to test if I've been kidnapped or not without saying it outright. I lost my train of thought from earlier. Oh well.
You're welcome, Jake :) And I definitely emphasize with you on that one -_-
Passing the letter over to my Jake now.
(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hello, Lis.
Your workplace is very clearly an unsafe environment, but upon reflection and having read ahead and read Max's offer, I believe you actually should go into work, at least for the day. It will give less of our cards away to the enemy. However, do be vigilant. We know that our actions have already changed the timeline to at least some extent, the breadth of which is still unclear.
I am not entirely sure what the kidnapper would gain from having your cousin watching carefully over you in the window of time the kidnapper would have taken to track you down, however. Could it be possible that Goldie was the one to send your cousin the message, rather than the kidnapper?
I concur with Yuvon that the previous timeline's events will not repeat, however, for the exact same reasons she listed, though I will edit it slightly: we have three Jakes and three intelligent people working on the case, including Yuvon. I think I may need to speak with her about this.
Most of the advice I would have given about precautions for the vacation with your cousin has already been covered by Yuvon :)
You are welcome, Jake.
I noticed that in my agitation from your last letter, I accidentally skimmed over some key points. My apologies. I'll answer them now.
I will attempt to find a good point to bring up the matter with her, but she is busy enough trying to mitigate the concerns of the "Crow Crew" that I do not think that should be done at the current moment.
While I am... fond of the "underlying desire" theory, I do not, on reflection, believe it. The fact that she would subconsciously choose me, rather than a family member or a friend she has known longer than myself, seems unlikely. Especially not when she had been quite incensed at me very, very recently. It simply makes no sense.
Though, admittedly, if the situation was reversed, she would likely be
The stasis wavering is both good and bad news. It has been both a benefit and a detriment thus far. Ensure that the group does not draw the kidnapper's ire instead, without alerting them that you are in danger, should they break loose of the stasis alone. Until then, based on the results from Yuvon previously contacting them, I suggest you avoid contact unless they open communication first.
Good luck, Lis and Jake.
—Jake & Yuvon
(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)
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