#which would be really sad because i couldn't interact with fans anymore

[sparklecarehospital]

due to the nature of things right now and the possibility of this site sinking ship i'm looking into possible ways of moving my AUs onto their own website(s). the only issue i'm running into right now is how i would manage to use an ask box. the only possible alternative i have right now is using disqus (what i use for the SC site comments) but that would make all questions public and make people able to reply to each other and i don't really want that

this isn't a definite decision i've made, don't worry, and i may not end up going through with it at all but it's something that's being considered in the event of worst-case-scenario. i just wanna be prepared y'know

[phrandallanton]

had a dream that someone I look up to a lot turned out to hate me and treated me horribly while I was at their house (I don't know this person irl nor have I ever met them before) Their parents loved me, saying that I was the biggest fan for what the person I look up to created. Yet the person themselves just HATED me. I felt sad for enjoying the stuff they made and while I was there, their parents gave me a computer to draw (Which belonged to the person I think?)and I drew the things they've created before. I then went to try and delete them cause I think that's why they hated me, was because I liked their stuff. Which is weird but like, okay go off sis. But I couldn't delete it in the end which made me panic and I think they hated me for drawing on their computer that I didn't KNOW was there's.

They also pushed me off their bed saying something like I was stinky and they didn't want their bed to stink. That's not nice :( but I can get not wanting me to be on your bed makes sense. They also said something horrible which I thought was a dark humored joke so to try to interact with them, cause mind you most of the time of this whole thing going down we haven't even spoke to eachother, so I tried to joke back with them. Turned out they were being 100% real and was talking to my mom.

I also hid in the closet (idk if it was their closet or just a closet) I was all snuggled in blankets hiding from something that looked like nightmare Freddy (fnaf 4). But it was like I was playing a game and wanted to see if the person who I looked up to would start playing with me so we can start being chill and what not. But then my parents and their parents started shouting for me and I was like "yeah if they already hate me their not going to hate me more if they find me in their closet" (once again, not sure if it was their closet, but I did say it was)

Towards the end of the dream they started to make a video on me trying to cancel me (???) I don't know man. They just really hated me. So I tried to get recordings of them saying and doing horrible stuff to me so I can prove that the video was just out of hate or something idk.

It's weird cause even though I was really sad that this person I admired was treating me like garbage, I really liked the dream? It had this huge weird feeling of anemoia to it. But it also reminds me that people I admire or like probably suck and that's why I don't hold anyone on a big pedestal anymore. Like how I thought Mr beast was cool and even got to speak to him once with other people I admired and now all this stuff is coming out sooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ That's something the dream reminded me about lol and is also the main reason why I don't worship any influencer or artist I admire.

Once again, wanna say that the person in the dream is someone I do NOT know irl or online, I've never really interacted with them, they could be a douche bag irl, they may not be. Nobody knows except them and the good lord. All of this was just a dream.

[danganronpafan777]

SDRA Boys reaction to finding out Kanade killed there Fem S/O because she is best friend with Hibiki which resulted in Kanade cutting up S/O gruesomely like she did to Setsuka in the canon Game

Damn, fellow angst fan! 

You didn't specify if Hibiki committed the murder too, so I included how they would interact with her after the trial knowing what her sister did-

Yuki Maeda: 

When he sees your body at first, he's in complete shock

He wants to look away, but his eyes won't budge

It isn't until Shinji and Sora say his name a few times when the dam breaks

He's horrified, sad, angry, and full of grief all at once

He throws up during the investigation, and can't go near the body

There's no point, since it's already burned into his mind

He's quiet and crying during the trial, barely even blinking and ignoring anyone who tried to help

Sora tells him if he wants to get justice for you, then he must work with everyone

"...huh...What the hell do you know? About me? About Y/n? She's dead. I don't care anymore."

Yuki goes blank. Even void is a little worried, isn't it a bit soon for Utsuro to come out?

Anytime he sees Hibiki, he feels his stomach drop, the image of your body appearing fresh in his mind

He doesn't want to hate her, as she's just as much of a victim as you were, but her resemblance to Kanade makes him mistake her sometimes

Teruya Otori:

He slams his fist down on the podium in grief and anger, his eyes beginning to swirl in despair.

Why was this happening to him again? It was really all because you befriended the wrong person? Why did you have to die? Why couldn't it have been him!? 

He thinks back to all the moments he had with you. Sun gazing, cuddling, your first kiss... he'd never see you again, he promised he would protect you and he failed again. Why was he such a failure?

He didn't want to give into despair, he really didn't, but sitting idly while everyone you loved died a horrible death made him wonder if hope really did exist 

He stays in your dorm for a while, but definitely keeps a closer eye on everyone

If Hibiki didn't die, he couldn't bring himself to resent her, just her criminal scum of a sister

He has to keep the others safe and put an end to the killing game. He's well aware that he's not smart, if he was, he would have been able to save you

But he's strong. He's pushed himself past his limits before and he's not afraid to do it now. 

He’ll protect everyone because it's what you would have wanted

That's the only thought keeping him sane

Shinji Kasai: 

Also in shock when he sees your body

You were....there...(and there, and there-)

He’s seen a lot of gruesome sights of people who had terrible burns (Including himself, which you always reassured him over) but this was…

He starts to cry right there, as Yuki and Sora rush to comfort him

He can’t bring himself to investigate your corpse or your room, instead talking to everyone about their alibis

This whole time, he was saying that the people in void were friends and probably had some kind of reason for doing this, but…

He’s not sure anymore.

What kind of monster would put you through something so horrid?

When he finds out that it’s Kanade, he nearly breaks his podium

He’d never hit a girl, even if she is a literal demon spawn, but he’ll still yell at her for what she did to you

He can’t forgive her, turning his back on her and not even bothering to watch the execution

He stayed in his room for a few days, barely opening the door to anyone except Yuki

He is actually nicer to Hibiki, and even helps train and comfort her with all she’s been through

but there’s there a part of him that can’t help but think about what would’ve happen if he done this sooner, if he would have met your fate

The thought makes his stomach churn

Hajime Makunouchi:

Falls to his knees upon seeing the body 

He nearly vomits at the way the face on your decapitated head was twisted in terror and your limbs were contorted as if you were nothing more than a doll

Hajime doesn’t feel angry, he just feels… sad.

Abandoned…once again.

He finds himself sobbing, unable to stop

He just felt so alone, but he told himself not to blame you, you hadn’t left him, not on purpose

He can’t investigate… he just can’t…

Ironic, that the strongest person in the class never felt so weak

Another part of him feels guilty, of all those times he talked you into training, into eating healthier foods… what was the point of all that when you were going to die so young?

He can’t say anything to Kanade, he can just glare at her through his sunglasses, his void eyes coming to life

He watches her execution, but he can’t bring himself to smile or feel happy

It just makes him feel….empty

He actively avoids Hibiki, but he’ll try not to treat her any differently

He confronts Nikei about turning against Mikado

Syobai Hashimoto:

Syobai wasn't attached to a lot and he rarely let anyone get close to him 

But he made an exception for you

That's what you were, the exception

He was never loved by anyone in his life

Except you

He never cared about anything other than money and his own survival

Except you

He never fell in love with someone before

Except you

He never felt such sadness and grief when seeing a corpse

Except you.

The moment he saw your corpse, he felt a sharp pain in his chest, a pain unlike any he had felt before

Followed by a tsunami of emotions that were running wild

He forced them all down, much harder to do than ever and investigated your body

He found the culprit easily, charging Kanade with his knife almost immediately

She was quick but not quick enough, he left her within an inch of her life while Hibiki screamed and cried

He used his own medical knowledge to keep her alive for the trial, no matter how hard he wanted to end her right there 

He smiled when she was voted, everyone understanding Syobai's actions

He doesn’t care about Kanade's backstory, he hates her for killing you, that's it

He won't hurt Hibiki, knowing Kanade would probably like that, but he glares at her anytime she's in the room with him 

Yuri Kagarin:

He claimed it was a male the whole trial, only a male would be capable of doing this to you

When he found out it was sweet Kanade, his views shattered

"W-Why...?"  That’s all he can ask, and when she explains, he wishes he kept quiet

You were gruesomely murdered because of your kindness, and how you befriended and comforted a scared and paranoid girl

Kanade was a demon through and through who took pleasure causing pain in others

Only then did he realize what you were always trying to say, about all males not always being bad, funny how the message only got through when he learned the opposite

If Hibiki isn't executed alongside her, he wouldn't ever directly blame her for the person her sister was

But he'll never be able to look at her without thinking of the monster who killed you

Mikado Sannoji: 

This wasn't supposed to happen.

That's the first thought that crosses his mind, out of everyone here, you were supposed to make it to the end

He'd think it was Nikei, being the only void who would dare to do this, but even Nikei is not that psychotic

This was someone that made him look like a saint

He contributes everything during the trial, ignoring when people tell him to be quiet

They don't get to tell him that, not after his S/o was dead

When he learns of Kanade, he feels angry, at both her and himself

He could have figured Kanade's past out if he had just dug a little deeper...

He lightly avoids Hibiki, but doesn't make much of an effort to push her away, 

Not like anyone else besides you would ever willingly talk to him

Nikei Yomiuri:

God damn it... 

Why?!

Rage. He can only feel raw unhindered rage when he sees your mutilated corpse

The whole trial, he thought Mikado was the only bastard messed up enough to do this, there's no way anyone in void would do this to him

To kill the one thing he had left

His leadership, his power, his luck (the whole reason he was pressured into creating this messed up game) 

And now he lost you, the one thing he achieved without the use of his remaining luck

And now you were gone in one of the most messed up ways possible

He demands Kanade's reasons for doing this to you, and only feels more disgusted when he finds out

He hopes she burns in hell

He can't look at Hibiki without his void eyes flaring and his face being consumed by undeniable rage

He lashes out at her a few times, but he doesn't care

He uses the rest of the space in his notepad to write about you

He's not sure if your dead in the real world, but if you were, then he wanted some way for the world to know the kind of person you are

Because he knows for a fact that he's not making it out of here alive

He just hopes he can bring Mikado down with him

[eyewussjack]

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP FREAKS !!! TIME FOR A LIFE UPDATE

so, first and foremost i guess i should announce

I AM AN ADULT!!! and not only that... i am an ADULT GRADUATE!!!!!

which is astounding to me. i honestly never thought i'd make it this far. (which is. a little sad in retrospect but i mean. i was a creepypasta fan so what the fuck could you expect)

next i would like to announce

I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WITH THIS BLOG!!!

i seriously have no clue because like. im not an active tumblr user anymore. im not active social mdia user in general. ive long since left my creepypasta hyperfixation. i dont feel comfortable interacting with danganronpa's fanbase. i still love horror! i love horror and the horror genre in all its entirety forever! and i do still love creepypastas, and all the characters! buttttttt... i have no desire to keep doing incorrect quotes and indulging in this little universe i built inside my head anymore.

i have new universes! new interests! new fixations! but none of them are really horror right now.

i have my own creative projects. my fixations now lie with tmnt, genshin impact, bungo stray dogs, and my own characters and worlds. and well, i dont like interacting with fandoms anymore.

it's become so, so taxing. way more than it used to be. both inside and outside of fandoms and communities, it's become so... negative and hostile and judgemental and just. those sides of the internet no longer feel safe anymore. i feel like i have to walk on eggshells constantly.

so, i'm afraid this might be my last post on this blog.

i will always remember this blog fondly, as it really kept me going and kept me feeling productive during. not the absolute pits of my depression, but i guess what i would call the rising period??? where instead of being sad and. well. Depressed all the time i was just sort of. numb to a lot of things and i couldn't find myself worth anything because of reasons i can't articulate well apparently.

but, this was one of the things that distracted me from that and made me feel like i was actually doing something and i did have a lot of fun doing it. and for that i am forever grateful. the community on here has been nothing but kind and lovely towards me and i am so thankful that i got that lucky bc i have Seen. The Others of the fandom.

so, with that. i say to this blog

thank you. i loved you. goodbye.

[secretly-tword-obsessed]

omg okay so when i saw that you write for big mouth and human resources i about lost my shit. so im a huge jatthew fan and id really like a lee jay drabble where matthew gives jay cheer up tkls bcuz he's sad about his family OR lee pete the logic rock headcanons.

ofc you can chose not to but yk💓 ill write them if you wont 😩

Hey! Sorry I'm so late to this - if you like it I'll keep making these in quicker time.

Again, so sorry it took so long, I have periods where I do and don't have time for this witting because of school, but I'm free for the next few weeks (yay!)

Sooo I think I'll do Pete HC's, especially because he interacts with Caleb so much in this new season, meaning I can weave him in there somewhere.

Pete is made of rock, so him being ticklish is like, impossible

(bows, leaves)

Hah! Oh so you thought! (re-enters)

So even though he's so rough and strong we all know that he's a softie. We also know that he's muscly, and that muscles make you more ticklish.

Rochelle found out that he was ticklish actually before they were dating by seeing him get tickled by Emmy before hours. Ofc when Pete saw Rochelle he was visibly embarassed and was pathetically trying to sound like a strong guy and said that he was faking laughing for Emmy's satisfaction to shut her up.

"Come on, surely there is an ounce of logic in your love bug brain. You know that I couldn't possibly be ticklish, I'm a rock and i can't even feel temperature. What was I supposed to do when Emmy started annoying me?"

Rochelle smirked - "well, ok, if that's the case than I still don't think Emmy is satisfied, so maybe you should 'fake' some more"

So yeah whenever someone asks if Pete's ticklish or doubts it when he says he isn't he always brings up logic to conclude that he couldn't possibly be ticklish

This also happened with Connie once because yk she's so randomly curious about the weirdest shit so she walks up to him one day and goes - "so, you know how your made of rock right? Does that mean you can't be ticklish?" And his heart STOPPED for a moment.

Also it has happened with Caleb ofc. Once Pete and Maury were in a meeting to create a list of notes on what touches would be acceptable for a potential partner, and they both wondered weather tickling would be ok so they asked Caleb in person. He said that it would be fine but first asked Pete if he would be ok with it. Ofc Pete pulled off his whole "i'm a rock so your question makes no sense" thing and ofc Caleb didn't fall for it and told him that, very many times, he had observed Pete getting itchy, which means that he was just as likely to be ticklish and even more so because he was sensitive. Maury smirked at Pete and Pete felt like throwing Caleb out the window (but never ACTUALLY considered it because he never would - he's a nonviolent rock).

Oh wait I haven't gotten to him ACTUALLY being tickled yet much so he is sometimes tickled by Emmy when she is pressuring him to say something (Emmy can always tell when there is something up).

ALSO I think Caleb tickled him once but on accident. Like he was poking and prodding Pete because he likes the texture of rocks and Pete just clenched his teeth and took it. Until he couldn't take it anymore and started giggling, squirming out of Caleb's grip with a "stawwp ittt" (fic idea?!)

Now, for the most important thing, spots...

Belly - 8/10. Lots of giggles

Neck - Not much

Sides - Bro will SCREAM, especially on the sides of his belly. 10/10

Underarms - pretty bad, some light chuckling. 4/10

That's all I can think of rn, thankyou for reading! Until next time gigglers (:

[lol-jackles]

Have you seen the first episodes of the final season of "The Crown"? What do you think about it? How realistic do you think this is? There are many similarities of the events that happened after the death of Diana between the show and the movie "The Queen". Had you watched it?

Yes, as far as I could recall in 1997, the events portrayed are mostly accurate. I even remember Charles hosting Camilla's 50th birthday party as a way to non-stealthily slide her into Diana's previous place. Meanwhile Diana was showing off her fabulous self to the press in St. Tropez so that her son William can have a peaceful vacation. While The Crown shows the important role of media every season, by its final season it drives home the point that the media isn’t just reporting on events, it’s an active participant in the lives of these people and institutions. Later, William and Harry helped their father feed the media so they can enjoy their holiday in Scotland. Sad to think present day real William using these skills to alienate his own brother and sister-in-law ...... so anyways...

The Crown set up parallelism between Charles and Dodi as two men born to incredible privilege and wealth, both were instructed by their parents to get with Diana while they were already seeing someone else. Charles' courtship of Diana was handled with a lot more care in season 4 compared to the hasty and half-baked one in season 6 even though Dodi's feelings for her are more genuine than Charles.

Elizabeth Debecki really grew into her role as Diana. In the previous season she seemed to be imitating Diana, but this season she embodied the character and commanded every scene with a force of nature that the script clearly couldn't conjure on their own anymore. Debecki makes Diana very likeable yet with just the right amount of selfishness and immaturity. She is compelling, charming, beautiful, fun, and sweet, but also can be calculating.  She was also incredibly shy and would tilt her head down, so as not to be inconspicuous due to her height.  Debicki's Diana really feels like a child trapped in an adult's body, thrown into adult situations.

Then the 3rd episode. I was surprised how tense I was getting and then realized it was filmed and directed to give the audience a sliver of the anxiety Diana felt on a regular basis. When Diana and Dodi were hiding in a jewelry store and then had to run out back because fans where banging on the front window, it looked like a zombie apocalypse scene.

Diana was basically a hostage of the al Fayeds.  She’s trapped with Dodi who desperately wants something from her, who is being hounded by his father, Mohammed, who desperately wants something from her. I don't think The Crown showed that Mohammed wouldn't send backup after he told her to leave her security in England, which is why security around Diana was ridiculously small. The French authorities didn't know Diana was coming to their city so weren't prepared.

Diana and Dodi's last private conversation in the Ritz hotel was obviously a wish fulfillment, nonetheless the actors did a great job and makes you really feel for them, especially Dodi who until now was unsympathetic due to being so weak willed with his father. Diana's interaction with Dodi explains why he, like many others, was attracted to Diana. With her encouragement, Dodi took the first symbolic step standing up to Mohammed. Like I said, wish fulfillment for the audience.

After their tragic death, the "ghosts" of Diana and Dodi visit their respective families. I understand that the ghosts were not representing Diana and Dodi but the yearning of the living for the last goodbye and make sense when a loved one is lost so prematurely. And also how the memory of Princess Diana looms very large in the minds of people for decades, even to future generation born after her death.

Overall the 4 episodes were well done. My main criticism is they should have shown unprecedented mass public grief over her death as a kind of bookend to the unprecedented mass public adoration from season 4. I believed had she lived, Diana would have moved to the United States and possibly settle down in California like what her son, Harry, did. Rest in Peace, Princess Diana

[vacantgodling]

I wanted to ask about someone from demon slayer but I couldn't figure out who to ask about so. please go off about someone from demon slayer if you have opinions otherwise please blast me with overwatch thoughts for:

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

~ @void-botanist

LMAOOO thank you for the ask :’) technically i got some stuff im not normal about when it comes to demon slayer even tho i am much more chill about it than other things that i’m into LOL.

ummm i feel like it’d be easier if i just did it for the cast overall? cuz when else am i gonna talk about this pff

15. What is your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn’t matter if it’s canon or not)

my main demon slayer ships are:

Rengoku x Uzui (like a Lot this is probably my otp of this show. however uzui’s wives are included. its like a separate spoke poly to me? uzui x his wives are one half and the wives are all into each other then uzui x rengoku is the other half and rengoku and uzui’s wives all care about each other in a more platonic way lol. basically a healthy poly thing in my mind)

Tanjiro & Zenitsu & Inosuke (in a platonic way!!! those are my sons don’t separate them or i’ll sob!!!!!!)

Giyuu x Shinobu (i like how she teases him and even if she is disdained by his awkwardness sometimes i think she can really understand where he’s coming from and understand him even when he’s just kinda like :| yknow)

16. What is your least favorite ship for this character?

ig i can go down the list for stuff ive seen with any of the above that i’m not a huge fan of?

Rengoku x Akaza -> i hate akaza so fucking much i am strangling every post i see with him and this ship with my bare hands. I Do Not Care about akaza’s boohoo sad backstory i am killing him and not in the teehee way i mean every time i see him i become Enraged <3. muzan may be the antagonist of demon slayer but i want to see akaza’s death animated in Great Detail.

haven’t seen anything about uzui that’s made me squick cuz most people ship him with either his wives or with rengoku lmao

Tanjiro x Kanao -> even though they are canon i’m just not super into her character ig? like she and tanjiro don’t seem like couple material to me. he doesn’t really treat her any differently than any other person he interacts with (imo) and i would argue he shows more care and interest and love towards zenitsu and inosuke than kanao specifically. aside from the standard anime “girl pretty” energy which like. all anime does that so it’s not even a measure of attraction to me anymore (being a long time anime fan). don’t get me wrong i don’t hate her as a character but as a couple they just seem so… boring. esp of the main three canon couples. like inosuke and aoi i can see and i don’t mind, zenitsu and nezuko are a given but… kanao just isn’t a good match for my boy ig (to me) 💀💀

Zenitsu and Inosuke only really get shipped with Nezuko/Tanjiro (solo) respectively and i don’t dislike those. i just like the three of them together at all costs so ig i don’t like the idea of tanjiro and inosuke dating and zenitsu kinda being on the side if i HAD to be nitpicky about it. like the three of them are a unit. do not separate.

Giyuu x Sanemi -> sorry i just don’t like sanemi 💀💀💀

Shinobu x Mitsuri -> i LOVE mitsuri to death. but i hate when fandoms ship two femme characters just because they could be a lesbian couple and for no other reason aside from that. like i get Why because lesbian candidates in anime is fleeting esp in shonen bc of a lack of femme characters in general so like. i understand that but maybe just cuz im not a lesbian idc that much. it’s similar to how i feel about tanjiro/kanao i just don’t think mitsuri has put any special emphasis on her relationship with shinobu. like she looks up to her definitely. but like mitsuri loves everyone. and i feel like shinobu would do better with someone she wouldn’t feel pressured to be Only the happy side of herself with and i feel like once she broke down that barrier she would be able to be more herself around giyuu than around mitsuri.

also this isn’t mentioned in my main ships but i don’t like Mitsuri and Obanai as a couple. idc if they’re canon i don’t like him he’s annoying asf he is not good enough for my girl.

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Rengoku x Giyuu i’ve seen around and i’m okay with it. i love both of these two to death (#tanjiro’solderbrothers) and so them together makes me very soft. i think it would be super rough for giyuu just because i don’t think he’d think he was Good Enough for rengoku which is why i don’t ship it too heavily but like i love them both so i’m never mad when i see it.

Giyuu x Sabito i don’t really ship but like obviously i get why people do and it makes my heart hurt despite not shipping it like that </3

Tanjiro x Genya or Tanjiro x Muichiro are two things i don’t mind seeing. i don’t really ship them bc like. tanjiro is my son and it’s kinda weird for me to think about him romantically l m a o? and muichiro is even younger than him lol. in the case of genya i totally get it but again it’s more just “hmm yes that’s his best friend” like i immediately in my mind view it platonically vs romantically.

annnnd i think that’s it from off the top of my head? thank you again this was fun to actually talk about instead of just rotating it in my brain PFF

[chim-chim1310]

there are so many questions i want to ask the members of bts. unfortunately, we'll never know their real thoughts on the matter/whole solo era.

jimin and jk situation is the most interesting (though very sad). and we haven's seen taehyung's debut yet, so much to look forward to.

from the beginning of 2020 jimin looked really depressed, there was no happy bubbly jimin we knew. some fans believe he likes performing so much that their hiatus made him so miserable. some fans think smth happened, probably some kind of a quarrel (with soulmates - vmin - distancing from each other and it was clear that suga and jimin were also not on the best of terms and they had quite a strong friendship before that).

as for now, jimin and tae are still ignoring each other. jimin and suga seem friendly but i guess its connected with their overlapping promo. what is more, suga and jimin were talking about how relationships between people are hard during suchwita and jimin looked unhappy during that conversation.

i wonder how their internal relationships will change? smth already is not right - well, it looks not right for me, i may be wrong. now it's clear that jimin has outrun his bandmates in terms of success based solely on his vast talents. we witness how jk does the same, but in contrast to jimin, thanks to lots of money and hybe's pr department. some members have expressed their jealousy towards jimin when he had #1 hot100 (some didnt even congratulate him at all, some sounded bitter/heartless), though i doubt they will do the same with jk (some of them probably knew how jk was going to be pushed/promoted).

what do you think about their future relationships? do you believe smth did actually happened in the past (between jimin and other members)?

See I never thought yoongi and jimin were the type of friends to go out and hang out or whatever. They seemed more like brothers you know you don't usually hang out but they're there when you need advice and all. So I've never really questioned them because they never seemed weird when they interacted together. They seem the same.

What I did notice was jimin trying to do everything to avoid performing Tony Montana. I wonder why. Maybe because the song didn't speak to him anymore. Or maybe jimin thought he couldn't perform it after so many years. But yeah that was something I noticed.

Then taehyung and jimin well....... What can I say. Their relationship have always been weird. Sometimes they're like the bestest of friends sometimes they're so passive aggressive with each other. But then again they've always been like that.

However in chapter 2 I do think that jimin is pissed at taehyung for some reason. Or maybe he had just created a distance between him and taehyung. Reason? We would never know. But Idk if they had a big fight. If we look at yoongi's concert they seemed okay, no big fight. Also jimin said there's no reason for both of them to fight anymore. But it felt like there were some boundaries between them that weren't there before. And to me it seems like jimin's the one who drew the boundaries between them. Idk why though. Maybe they just drifted apart. It's not out of the ordinary. It happens a lot and tae anyway seems closer to wooga squad than to bts so.

Namjoon was weird during jimin's promotion. When jimin's album songs were announced rm posted it on his story and instead of congratulating jimin, he just circled his name in the credits and said "I wrote some lyrics". Like dude you didn't have to tell us army notice the smallest, most useless things. They would've noticed this too obviously. But idk Rm looked kinda desperate for people to know that he contributed a little to jimin's album which kinda made me side eye him a bit. He didn't even congratulate jimin properly.

And when jimin started winning shows then rm came live and said things which kinda hinted that he was jealous that he didn't get such things. If he wanted it he would've gone that route then why blame others? But yeah he did seem jealous. For billboard hot100 he did post it on his story though. So yeah that's that.

What I think though is that rm and yoongi were kinda jealous during face promotion. And I think the major reason for that is, they feel kinda threatened and insecure because of jimin. Like of course they're talented but they and everyone knows that jimin is the only one that has the IT factor. Another reason for them to feel insecure is because jimin have a stronger and bigger fanbase then rm and yoongi so I think that bothers them too.

I don't know but I never see them jealous of taehyung even if he's the most biased one. But that could be because they didn't see tae as a threat. I too believe that tae is not that passionate about music, he just wanna be popular without doing the actual idol thing iykwim.

I think they're not threatened by jungkook either. I don't think it's because jk is the maknae. Rm seemed more fond of jimin than of jk sometimes. And they're grown up adults I don't think anyone babies anyone in the group. So I don't think that's the reason.

I think Rm and yoongi are not threatened by jungkook because well.....they're seeing that jungkook's achievement are all by the company push, so it's not threatening to them.

But jimin on the other hand is different.......He's the king you know. I think Rm and yoongi noticed how jimin was sabotaged so much, how much less time he got for his promotions but still he managed to get that #1 without anyone's help. They saw how they themselves had a smooth sailing but still they didn't reach at jimin's level.

That's what threatens them. In jungkook's case they settle with the fact that his achievement is because of the scooter. But in jimin's case they can't comfort themselves with that. Because jimin has both talent and a dedicated fanbase and you know the fire inside him to achieve it. Also outside of armies kpop stans mostly talk about jimin. Whether it's positive or negative jimin still is relevant to them. While I don't think they care enough about other members to even hate on them lol. kpop stans hate comes from jealousy and jealousy comes because they're threatened by jimin's talent.

That's why armies too feel threatened. Remember how they started hating on jimin accusing him of sleeping with bangpd when face was doing good. They accused him he was given the preferential treatment. It was because they could see jimin getting bigger than the group. Because negative or positive, jimin gets people talking. They can't ignore him.

And for jungkook and jimin. Dude......I'm extremely confused. From all the stories and all they both seemed to have fun in NY. I don't understand how. Maybe jimin is not blaming jk? Maybe their friendship is that strong that they don't care about such superficial things. Or keeping personal and work life separate though that seem impossible. But idk according to me they seem fine even with everything going around. So ig we just have to wait and see.

And for the future I really don't know what's gonna happen. Maybe members don't care about jk getting all this now. But if it continues even during jk's album then maybe they'll have a problem. But by then ig rm and yoongi will be in military so idk.

But I really can't see them coming together as a group again. Even before the drama, the moment hiatus was announced I knew they would not come together as a group again. Because come on......there's no way people won't change after 2 years. They might want different things from their life after military and maybe they would just not be able to adjust together as a group again.

Honestly I was sad at that time thinking we won't get group together anymore but after chapter 2 i wish that it stays like that. Because i don't want it to be jk and 6 friends lol. And I prefer jimin solo. I'm just over the whole group thing ig. Maybe because I'm a solo stan now.

[definitelynotfrankincense]

Alright I've had a week so you know what, it's time for Sonic posting. Rather, Shadow posting. Copypasting a rant I found scribbled down in a notepad from I don't know how long ago.

There's a pretty huge disconnect between the various Shadows we've known. Most will say there are 2 or 3, but I think there are 6. A seasoned Shadow fan will obviously tell you SA2 Shadow is a different character from any of the others, and I agree. But I branch off from that and say that Heroes, Battle, Shadow 05, Sonic 06 and Meta-era are all distinctly different Shadows, too.

SA2, pre-mindscrew, was already agonizing over his purpose. That is all we know about pre-mindscrew Shadow. For the rest of the game, he's dealing with said mindscrew on top of the ARK Incident having basically happened yesterday for him. He is sad, he is angry, and he's been brainwashed to want the world to burn. He has a little bit of a fun streak in how he words things, though. The sadness and anger are rightfully still there even after realizing his memories were altered, but his reason for acting is still exactly the same: The dying wish of Maria.

Heroes seems to be Shadow at his most pure state. There is nothing really bogging him down at that point, and his interactions with the other characters are pretty positive and fun. You can see bits of his SA2 self in there with some of the odder things he says. This is the last time where he even seems to be having fun without it being at someone else's expense.

Battle is an oddball game straddling canon and non canon in general. But this Shadow has a good chunk (or all) of his memories and is very hung up on his past. He cannot be post-Shadow 05, as he doesn't care about his past anymore after that, but he also can't be pre-Shadow 05 because he has way clearer memory of his past. I think this is what a lot of people kind of wanted from him as a character at the time (and kind of still now), since they expect him to have kept his memories of Maria as dear to him.

Shadow 05 is... a mess of characterization. They fumbled super hard, but I think I get what they were going for, so I'll just go off of what I think the intention was. He's as haunted as he was in SA2 (both about his purpose and the ARK Incident) but without the context for it, he's desperate, he's being pulled every which way and being told who he is by everyone he meets, and his sense of self is fragile. He is very emotional. But the way this is all portrayed does not feel at all like an in-between point of Heroes and 06; it feels like a totally different person.

Sonic 06 Shadow is what a lot have realized is their actual ideal Shadow. He's confident, he allies with whoever is most convenient for his goals, he cares for his friends, he takes no shit, and he probably would be the one spitting harsh truths that nobody wants to hear if the situation arose. Some say he fights only for himself at this point, focusing on the original wording of his final line in his campaign, but those goals all aligned with helping people, so I think they're trying a bit too hard to interpret him as self-centered. Sonic X Season 3 kind of falls in line with this Shadow, I think. This Shadow is perhaps too competent.

(Also there being a tangible future where he's imprisoned for eternity could point toward him willingly surrendering. I'm not saying I believe it, but he could have surrendered for any number of reasons. The measures humans were taking against him could have been drastic enough that, if he kept fighting, he would really kill them all, and he deemed it better to just give up since his mere existence was helping tear humanity up. Maybe he just got tired of fighting for however many years it lasted. Maybe they had leverage over him, able to destroy or kill something he valued over himself (Rouge&Omega?). Maybe he just couldn't bring himself to hurt Omega. Or maybe it's nothing and he was just plain defeated.) (Also screw the horribly OOC Omega of 06. And why would GUN have any authority over an Eggman mech that even Eggman couldn't keep on a leash?? He's honestly why I personally discredit 06. Omega is the worst part of 06 and I know what I'm saying with that.)

Nothing really needs to be said about Meta-era Shadow. He was an edgelord with no friends and is overconfident to an extreme fault. They based his entire personality off of the poorly localized line "this will be like taking candy from a baby, and that's fine by me". Garbage tier Shadow. Not even Shadow anymore. He was just Evil Sonic. Also the ARK Incident was probably retconned out during this era.

Now the miscellaneous Shadows that have yet to cement themselves as the current iteration of Shadow.

(I think I wrote this when we only had a bit of season 2? And I haven't seen season 3 yet.) Prime Shadow is a good step in the right direction. We don't have much in the way of his motives so far (the best we can guess is just generally "keep the world safe"), but his attitude is finally turning away from edgelord to something more like a really annoyed pragmatist. He's actually a pretty good counterpart to Sonic this way. I'd trust the writers of Prime to do him right.

I'm not totally up-to-date on IDW. The bit with the Shadow androids seemed alright? Didn't really give him much to redeem himself character-wise from the damage that was already done in the metal virus arc, but dang did he get to be cool.

The Fast Friends Forever profiles finally acknowledge his backstory for the first time in 13 years (not counting Sonic Channel art and collab material like Legos?? lmao) which is cool, and plainly states his motives--that being to protect earth and its people because of Maria's wish--which may go against the ending of Shadow 05?? Ian Flynn also seems to be of the mind that Shadow 05 was about throwing his past away? so we have 2 recent interpretations that are directly conflicting with each-other. I guess we'll see who wins. (Who's the fake hedgehog around here?!)

I think what I'd most like to see is a redo of Shadow 05 that feels like a more cohesive transition from Heroes to 06 Shadow (or whatever we're deciding current-era Shadow is/should be). Or just Heroes. More Heroes Shadow would be good :] I'd like to see Shadow enjoying himself instead of just being a shade of angry-and-done all the time.

[thorias]

"Just because we haven't seen Runaan paying for his actions doesnt mean we won't see him being held accountable."

Maybe. I hope we see that. But the reason I get annoyed is because the show (as well as certain fans) has seemed unwilling to go there. We went from Runaan trying to kill Rayla and assassinating Harrow to several seasons of the show telling us how great he was/is after showing us something completely different and I don't see how we're supposed to reconcile these things. It feels like a critical aspect of this character has been glossed over just because it was uncomfortable in order to give him some kind of redemption or character surgery that he hasn't earned and it's not good storytelling.

We haven't seen Ezran address how he feels about Runaan, but we should have; it was his dad who was murdered after all. So in all the time that Ezran has been around Rayla and been forced to step into the role of a king that he wasn't ready for because of Runaan, why in the world has this never come up? I can't imagine that Ezran would have anything good to say about the guy, but for some reason, speaking ill of Runaan is something the writers just won't allow, otherwise it would've happened a long time ago.

"Runaan has spent most of the time of the show in a coin‚ we have seen flashbacks about him from the perspective of the people that care about him but never the show has treated him as an innocent being who will be accepted by everyone."

The show hasn't exactly treated him like the person we saw him to be when the story began either, which is my point. We've seen the perspective of people who love and miss Runaan and seem to view him through rose-colored glasses. Meanwhile, anyone who would understandably have hard feelings toward him has been silent on the issue. And after 5 seasons of this, it's started to feel like something that really would have and should have been addressed by now if the writers had plans to address it at all.

"Now with Callum‚ he spent all season 4 being angry and both the characters and the fandom understood this. None of the characters treated him badly for being mad at Rayla‚ even Soren and Amaya called her out. Callum didn't act happy when she came back and he was mostly cold towards her not even wanting to be near her so where did you get the impression that they didn't allow him to be angry?"

I didn't see anger from Callum. I saw him being sad, mopey and distant, which is a different thing, with Ryala seeming miffed why he couldn't just get over it. He wasn't happy about what she did, but there were no consequences for her actions. They were still interacting, still went on their next big adventure together, still did basically everything they would have done if Rayla hadn't abandoned him and disappeared for 2 years, they just weren't a couple anymore.

The whole thing read like the writers wanting to have their cake and eat it too. They wanted to split up Callum/Rayla for drama, (which they then completely passed on) but also didn't want anything about the dynamic to really change, so the whole thing just felt forced and awkward and weirdly pointless.

"The moonshadow society isn't big on feelings but we may get an actual sorry from her next season(even if its not fully necessary)."

Well, for the characters' peace of mind, I think we need that apology. Frankly, I can't believe it's two seasons later and we're still waiting for it. And it's frustrating as a viewer because (just like with the Runaan thing) narratively this is something that really should have been addressed by now. And I'm sure it would have been if the writers thought it was important, but for some reason, they don't.

One of the more annoying things about the Dragon Prince fandom is how a lot of people put Runaan up on a pedestal. Just because he's an LGBT character doesn't mean he's some precious, prefect, unicorn who never did anything wrong ever. This is the guy who trained his adopted daughter to be an assassin and then tried to kill her the second she decided that she didn't want to murder the human king and start a war.

Hell, when he told Rayla that he'd kill her, she wasn't even surprised to hear it, so... yeah, they probably didn't have the best relationship, your headcanon be damned.

The other characters can talk about what a great guy Runaan was until they're blue in the face, but the only time we've ever actually seen him in the show, he was a piece of shit, so excuse me if I'm not anxious to see him get released from that Dark magic coin prison. Save Rayla's parents, sure, but I don't particularly care what happens to Runaan.

[skepticalarrie]

Hii... I was stalking your account a bit last night cos I was bored so from there I went to some other accounts and then from there to other accounts like a chain reaction... So I came across a blog account from 2013-14 ( they deactivated in 2014 ig) and there was this one anon who asked them that Louis hasn't been in the limelight for a long time and he was a bit sad or restless in interviews but was better now (as in when the account replied to their tweet which 2013 end or 2014 start ig)... Which made me wonder is it something to do with sept 28 ( I'm not saying they got married) ... Maybe they took a BIG decision for their relationship and had to fight a lot with the management and that's why Louis was a bit sad... But since I was not there then I don't know what happened can you help like what was going on during that time?

Hello anon! How are you?

I think I have a few posts discussing what was going on with them - and more specifically Louis - between 2013/2014 but I couldn't find the posts so I'm sorry if any of you already saw me rambling about it haha because I feel like I'm repeating myself a lot with this.

But I don't think it has anything to do with September 28th or making a big step on their relationship. I think 2013 was a year where their closeting became very severe. The bullshit tweet was in September 2012 (yes that shit is going to be nine soon), around the same time Haylor happened too, and it was basically all downhill from there. 2013 was the year One Direction became BIG, worldwide big, and I believe all five of them (not only Harry and Louis) really felt that pressure, they were extremely overworked that year, they were too profitable. And as a consequence, I believe H&L also started to slowly realize the extension of their closeting, all the implications. Harry was basically the focus of all the attention they were getting, with his fuck boy over-sexualized image. During the TMH tour we saw them interacting less and less, I believe while they were filming This is Us they were also limited in terms of how they were supposed to act backstage since they always had a camera on them.

As for Louis, more specifically, I think he was heavily media trained and highly advised to tone down his flamboyance and "loudness", it's shocking to see the difference in how Louis acted between the beginning of TMH tour comparing to the beginning of WWA tour in the following year. He lost his confidence on stage, on his voice, everything. It felt like he was overthinking every movement on stage. It feels to me that it was their label/management best interest to let him fade in the background as much as possible. I'm guessing this also came as a punishment because he was the one standing up for the band behind the scenes, trying to have a say on their music, on their public images, etc etc... I think he pissed a lot of people off. He also lost a lot of weight very fast halfway through 2013, his weight loss was very visible and I remember fans being extremely concerned for his health. Probably one of the most horrible stunts happened in that year too, Haige, and I believe that had a huge impact on Louis as well. They were forced more and more apart to go stunting, they were not allowed to travel together anymore. Eleanor was literally everywhere with them, a lot of damage control. So I believe all of this contributed to Louis looking the way he did during that time. There was a lot going on. If I had to describe everything I just said in one video, this would be the one:

(I think there's an even worst footage of that because there was a camera on Louis' side too, but I couldn't find it) I'm not usually very emotional about that kind of thing, but this video of them at the airport in New Jersey where they forced them into different cars, completely breaks my heart every fucking time.

[lize-mary]

What I'm going to do now is a little rant, which I never imagined myself doing, but the pain I'm feeling is so great that it needs to be out.

I've been in the Fate fandom since the first season premiered, but very quiet, not interacting much out of shyness and because I don't think I'm good at anything, not even writing, which I try, while all of you are very talented. Being a fan of the Winx cartoon since I was little, I had as my favorites Griffin, Musa and Flora, and having my attention called right in the first teaser per Farah, going to look on for the character on the internet, most of what I found were lies, but she seemed to me to be a mix between Griffin and Faragonda, drawing my attention even more, as teenagers didn't, I don't deny that I watched the series for her, enchanting me more than I thought possible, not only for the character but also for what it seemed to be happening between her and Silva, turning her into my all-time favorite character. When Dowling was attacked by Rosalind, her return seemed certain, they would not kill the important character that she was, the mentor and who at many times had seemed to be Bloom's biological mother, and even with the darker tone that was warned, she was one of the most powerful fairies, if not the most powerful, as Rosalind had spent 16 years imprisoned while she was free to develop her magic, and it was she who warned the others how dangerous Rosalind was, to turn her back like that without a good plan.

But that's not what happened and since the Friday of the premiere, I literally lost my ground, having my heart in pieces and cried for two hours, I still cry, because it seems like he comes back every moment of the day, it's such a pain big as if she were a real person, even though I know she's a character, and having seen others who were my favorites in other series die, but none destroyed the deepest inside me, that hurts my soul, and I didn't even had the courage to see the scene, knowing only from videos I find, not with it all complete. Maybe I feel that way because the moment that Farah arrived was so sad in my life, when I didn't have the will to live anymore, and she was so solar, amazing, powerful, motherly to the little girls, that in a way she became mine strength and joy to face the chaos, and yes I knew how wrong it was to get attached to a character like that, but I couldn't help it, and I didn't even realize it was on that level until I know about of scene.

The pain became greater when thinking about how she had so much to explore as a character, we don't know her story, we don't know anything about her, her death was in total lack of meaning for what was presented of her, for the couple that they put clues to about it in the official book, and yes I understand that this happened because of Emily in House of the Dragons, but without wanting to give too much spoiler, they could have waited a bit, delayed her return, not killed off one of the most beloved characters in the public, even being a series of teenagers, in all a prominent adult, being family or mentor, as she was to Bloom, needing both her guidance and Muse, whom she would help to make sense of her powers and what she could do catch up. For those reasons and my pain, which destroys me every day, I refuse to believe that this was the ultimate canon ending for Farah Dowling, she really didn't deserve it.

It took me so long to write about this, because with every line I tried, the tears came back, Farah Dowling created a void in my life that was impossible to overcome, and her ending made me lose absolutely everything

Don't mind me, I'm just a person suffering a lot because of Farah, and another one in love with this character, and for everything the fandom created about her, better than the series itself had offered, and it took me so long for that

[inessencedevided]

Are you excited for secrets of Dumbledore. Saw the second trailer for it at the movie theater I work.

Ahhh, I'm sorry this took me so long to answer. Tbh, i was debating just answering you in private but then i realised that i actually feel like i need to voice these thoughts aloud now

To answer your question, this is how I feel:

(Tbh, i wanted to put a gif here where chidi (that's the character above) says that every time he needs to make a decision, his mind makes a sound like a fork in a garbage disposal. But i couldn't find a gif of it so this will have to do)

The thing is, I'm physically incapable of not caring about this movie or the grindeldore content in it. I saw the trailer and i legit started shaking. I saw the cafe scene between Gellert and Albus and i literally screamed. This movie seems to be specifically written to press all my buttons. I've been shipping grindeldore since i was 13 and here they are, confirmed, on screen, admittedly in costumes I find quite boring, but also played by two of the most extraordinary actors imaginable. Under normal circumstances I would never shut up about this movie.

But here comes the huge "But": JKR. And the fact that she is deeply involved with this movie and its marketing and seems to use the platform it gains her specifically to spread her harmful ideas.

I'm not on twitter, but while I was pondering whether or not I should interact with this movie online (which would mean on my tumblr basically and nowhere else) I went and looked at her twitter. And frankly, I was shocked. I mean, yeah, I knew her views but I had purposefully cut myself off from that a while ago and was unaware of just how constant these harmful reactionary and transphobic tweets had gotten. (And here i could go into it in detail about how radical feminists and "gendercritical" people don't "just" hurt trans people, but also cis women and the entire idea of feminism by casting (their idea of) men as their enemies instead of the system of patriarchy as a whole but other people have done that already and better than i could and that's not the point of this post anyway.)

And here is the thing, the fact that i strongly disagree with jkr would not automatically mean that I don't engage with the harry potter universe anymore. Fandoms don't necessarily have to be in praise of the creator(s) of the content they engage with. Often fandom acts specifically in opposition to the creators of their source material and if there had been no new material since the Harry potter franchise was completed, i would have no problem doing so in the HP fandom as well. Hell, if my staple was, say, marauders fanfic or drarry content, i might still engage with that right now. But, I'm a grindeldore fan through and through and that's, sadly, actively making jkr money right now as well as giving her a platform to spread her bigoted agenda

So here i am, stuck with the sound of a fork in a garbage disposal in my head.

Because I'm so angry, too. I know there are a lot of people out there who are saying "if you even remotely care about anything related to Harry Potter anymore you're a bad person and you should feel bad" but you know what? No. I care. I'm incapable of not caring because this world (and dumbledore and grindeldore specifically) was such a huge part of my formative years. I used to think that whatever went wrong in my life or the world, at least I'd still have hogwarts as an uncomplicated haven to return too. But no, that's gone now. There is no way to consume or engage with hp content now, that is not in some way inherently political, especially in public. It has truly lost its innocence and that makes me so angry and sad. But these feelings, however much they are hurting me are nothing against the hurt jkr is actively causing towards trans people and the cause of feminism. So I'm really only left with one choice (I'm not getting into the content of the series here. Obviously there's stuff there that's worth criticising too. but in general, I firmly believe that the fact that a book or movie has "problematic" content is no reason not to engage with it. The idea that one cannot love something (or certain aspects of it) and engage with it critically at the same time is, imo, frankly infantilising. My reasons for not engaging with fb right now are firmly rooted in it's real world effects, not its content)

But yeah ... that's my reaction. And I'm sorry I unloaded that on you. I wish I could just enjoy this movie in all it’s flawed, retconning beauty. I wish I could make grindeldore edits out of that frankly unfairly poetic cafe scene (THE FLAMES!!! HELLO??? 😭) bc I finally have proper giffing skills :/ But I can't ...

Maybe i will one day, when the movie is out of cinemas, but not right now

(Please don't reblog this post. I have zero energy for a discussion about this that gets larger than my immediate mutuals and followers 😅 if you are one of those, feel free to comment or send me a dm though 💚)

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

Hi! I came across your blog and have been reading all your answers and I feel like you’re a breath of fresh air here on tumblr! Definitely one of the few blogs I’d ever feel comfortable sharing my thoughts in even if you shared a different view point than me.

I don’t really have an ask but I did want to just get something off my chest and find this to be a safe space. Jimin is my bias and I..love him to death. It’s almost concerning to me sometimes when I realize how protective I am over him given the fact that we do not know eachother LOL. He just seems like the most genuine, soft, and kind soul. And because of that, I find myself holding my breath whenever BTS releases any content and my eyes immediately scan to see where jimin is and what he’s doing. I find myself sigh a breath of relief sometimes whenever I see him not interacting with jungkook because I know that the hate geared towards him won’t be as vicious that day. Then I have to remind myself that Jimin has every right to interact with any member he wants to which is absolutely true! And I love Jimin for always doing whatever he finds true to himself.

I think Jimin’s friendship/relationship with Jungkook gives me pause at times because of how jungkook reacts sometimes and will pull away from Jimin. At the end of the day, I’m sure if jungkook/jimin had any awkwardness in their relationship/friendship, they would iron it out because they’ve known eachother for so long. And as fans we don’t know everything. And I know jungkook shows affection to all members in different ways. Jungkook also should be allowed to act anyway he wants without people scrutinizing his every interaction which probably makes him feel awkward too.

Sometimes I wish I could wipe my brain and watch all bts content without the knowledge of how dynamics affect the hate members get lol. Selfishly, I enjoy it whenever Jimin spends time with the Hyung line especially Namjoon. Minimoni’s friendship makes my heart warm.

I’m not a shipper, I’m just jimin biased and I love ot7. And I always love to see the members no matter who, love on jimin and cherish him.

Hellooo! I get that a lot in real life lol, that I'm easy to talk to. I certainly love a different point of view as long as it's reasonable.

I watched the new spiderman movie a couple of weeks ago and, this isn't a spoiler, but there's a part where they say something like we love people because of the things that they represent in the world, too. I'm a loser so I thought of people I love in real life but I also thought about Jimin because he has always represented good things about life and humanity for me. So sometimes it's not a matter of "how are you gonna hate on Jimin?!" but more like "how are you gonna hate on such a great person?" if you know what I mean.

I don't know if I feel protective, like I don't know if that's the word I would use for what I feel, but I do feel terribly sad and disgusted. It used to make me soooo angry too, but fortunately I don't feel angry about it anymore, because angry is just an awful thing to be. I can tolerate being sad, I'm a pisces, being sad is a personality trait atp and I used to be an overexcited kid who talked a lot and read a lot and got myself too involved with people because I felt like I had to help and love everyone, but I realized I couldn't. I'm not religious but there's this thing that I like and it says:

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

It's actually called serenity prayer and it starts like "God grant me..." but I'm not religious so I just skipped that part hehe.

Yeah, of course they have the right and should be able to do whatever they want and with whoever they want. I personally think they already do as much as they want lol, at least as relationships within BTS are concerned. I think it's okay to have emotions about things as long as you don't lose sight of what's the reality and, in the end, as long as you aren't forcing yourself to feel something you're not really feeling. Like, if something stops making you feel good, then it's okay to just admit that. Everyone always talks about how BTS are humans too but so are we...

I love minimoni so much... you have no idea. Yes, exactly T_T I also feel warmth in my chest when I think about minimoni. It's just so serene.

[cuttlefishen]

Back in 2016, I was a hot mess. I was depressed. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was uninspired to finish school, and in fact I failed basically all of my classes for a few semesters. Mentally? It was the worst year of my entire life...

And in the midst of that, I got really into a lot of different fandoms - probably as a coping mechanism. The Adventure Zone, Wolf 359, Flight Rising, Critical Role - I watched so. much. Critical Role... I literally skipped class just to watch Critical Role.

And then I took a break.

I quit school. I moved in with friends. I worked and tried to be a real adult, mostly self-sufficient for the first time ever... And I still tried to keep up with all these fandoms, plus adding more. Eventually I got to the point where the first campaign of Critical Role ended and I tried to keep up with the new campaign, but then I started working a second shift job every Thursday - so watching live wasn't an option any more.

I got behind, and literally have never caught up, and for the longest time this has really bothered me. I felt like I was failing myself by not being able to keep up with it, and worse I felt like I couldn't interact with the fandom at all anymore for fear of spoilers - which I wound up seeing anyway...

With the start of campaign 3, I was stoked to be able to try watching live again... but I really just don't have the emotional, physical, or attention energy to watch hours of dnd content anymore. And even though it's only been a few months, I'm already way behind and getting super stressed about catching back up.

Because I love Critical Role, so I have to watch it. Right?

And like this is just one example of a bigger problem I've increasingly found myself in. I grew up loving Pokemon, but as I've gotten older I've just rarely gotten my money's worth in the games, so I'm trying to be smart and not buy the newer games - but then I feel guilty and stressed and sad about not playing them.

I used to get so stressed about not keeping up with my Animal Crossing town that I would just stop playing for years, and then feel so guilty when I wanted to try playing again that I would just restart the game, destroy all the things I had created, and then feel guilty about that on top of the guilt of not playing every single day once my interest inevitably waned again.

I want to crochet, and play Animal Crossing, and watch Star Trek, and revamp my wardrobe, and make cosplay videos, and build new cosplays, and play PC games, and design dnd campaigns, and clean my house, and finally earn my degree-

...

So I've been thinking more and more about prioritizing lately. I've been struggling with school and struggling with home upkeep and struggling with mental upkeep, and honestly? I just really don't have the time or energy to dedicate to all the things I'm interested in.

And... that's okay.

I need to prioritize, but that doesn't have to be the big scary adulting only endeavor that my brain likes to tell me it is. I can decide that Critical Role is a fandom of my past, and I can watch clips and look at fan content without worrying about catching up - because realistically I never will. I can decide that Pokemon is a nostalgia that I love and appreciate, but don't have to actively participate in. I can decide that Animal Crossing is something I just play in spurts every once in awhile, and my islanders aren't going to hate me when I reappear months later.

My whole identity doesn't have to be wrapped up in all the dozens of fandoms I attach to myself like an over-enthusiastic decorator crab. I'm not failing anyone by letting some things go. I can let some things just be part of my past.

I can allow myself to be okay with giving things up.

And idk I just thought that realization might help some other people here too.

[a-simp-20]

◆Babysitter's◆

[AIB Cast Masterlist]

Characters: Nijiro Murakami,Dori Sakurada,Kento Yamazaki,Jun Murakami,Ua (briefly,she will only be mentioned in the back story)

Summary: Dori and Kento were told by Jun Murakami to take car of his son,Nijiro Murakami

Warning!: mentions of divorce and fighting

Genre: Angst,Comfort,Fluff

Word count: 3.5K

Tag's: @maliceinborderland hope you like it!!

Information: italics + bold means flahsback

Disclaimer: this is just a fan fic so don't take it too seriously

This is the second Fic for the AIB cast,so feel free to Request or comment on who should I write a Fic about next please :D.

It is a normal day in Tokyo. Sun shining through Nijiro's window,right now he's staying at his Dad's house just to help take care of his dad even though his dad could take care of himself. It has been years since he saw his mom and he barely interacts with his other siblings that were not from his family side and basically was from his step dad's side. He had 4 other siblings that were younger then him,but he could only see them if his mom would come visit him with her other husband which Nijiro hated. He never hated his new siblings that much though,they knew that he was struggling and that it was their mother's fault that he became so unsociable when he was just a teenager. Ever since that day when his parents divorced it broke him,he had chosen to go with his dad because his dad,Jun Murakami did nothing to his mother Ua,he didn't hurt her,he didn't do anything to start the fight. Every thing was perfect until that day had come into his life.

Nijiro only sat there on the stairs,the palm of his hand's covering his ears tightly,tear's fell down from his face as he cried silently listening to his parents fight down stairs was all he could do. Nijiro had woken up from his sleep when he heard the door of the house opening and closing,his Dad told Nijiro that his mother was still at work and will be home late today,Nijiro understood and just went up stairs to go to bed. And when he woke up from his sleep cheerfully and excited to see his mother,he only heard shout of anger and sadness. Which brought into the present where he just sits there shakily,fear,sadness and anger building up in his 8 year old mind of his "What about our son!?,what if his future will be a whole damn dampness all because of you" Jun shouted,his hand in his hair as he Paced around the room angrily "Why are YOU bringing YOUR son into this s**t!?,Besides he doesn't mean anything to me!" Ua responded back,Nijiro heard that clearly and his heart started to shattee in him "m-mommy doesn't like me...anymore.." He said quietly wiping his tears away for a bit as he continues to cry silently on the stairs. He didn't know what to do,he wanted to stop the shout and swearing words that came out of their mouths..but he couldn't do that. Besides,he was just a mere child,no one will listen to him in this situation even his own parents.

He decided to get up and went back into his room to sleep. He got in his room,closing the door quietly as he climbs into his bed,covering his body with the thick sheets of it as he slowly fall's asleep.

How many weeks later, Nijiro came back from school. His dad said that he couldn't pick him up from school today and said to just meet him at their house. He opens the door to see his mom and dad sitting on the couch separately from each other "Watashi wa ie ni imasu otōsan, okāsan (I'm home dad, mom)" He said stuttering as he took of his shoes "Nijiro..we have something to say to you" His dad said with a low voice,Nijiro nods as he sit's on the couch beside his dad "Who do you want to go with?" His mom suddenly said "U-Ua..he needs some talking,he doesn't know the situation y-" "I-i know.." Nijiro suddenly spoke,tears almost falling down his face "Ah!- so,you heard..?" His dad said,looking down at him with worry in his eyes.

Nijiro nods slowly as he looked down to his tiny feet "Well...since you already know,we're so sorry that you heard-" "Yes..i know" Nijiro cuts him off again "Then that means I guess it's time for daddy and mommy to....hm,Separate.." Nijiro's head goes up to look at his dad in the eyes "It's about time you told him. Now,who do you want to go with" Ua said,crossing her arms while looking at the two "I- I DON'T KNOW!, W-W-WHY SEPARATE!?" He shouted as tears fall down his face "N-nijiro son..i know it's hard but you have to choose-" "WHY CHOOSE!?,I-I DON'T WANT US TO BE LIKE THIS!" he shouted again,Ua getting annoyed at his behavior "Just pick!,it's not that hard" "Ua!,he's a child we need to take it easy on him" Jun said to her as he hugged Nijiro into his chest "Nijiro,I'm going to say it again...who do you choose between me and mommy,I know it's hard..b-but you have to do it" Jun said,holding him tightly in his arms "T-then...i'm choosing you,daddy"

[6 YEARS LATER]

(Year/date: ??/??/2012)

(Location: ??? Studio)

It has been 6 years ever since he chose his dad's side, they both moved into somewhere else in Tokyo where schools were even closer to their house. Nijiro right now is currently 14 in age and in middle school,he styled his hair so that his bangs would go to the front of his head,kind of a weird style..but his dad recommended the hair style so he didn't mind. He loved his dad so much,his dad raised him ever since that day. Jun is now a single father to one son that he has,he loves Nijiro and he just want's to make him happy. For the past few years Nijiro has been down lately,Jun felt bad that he would stay at work the most because he's an actor and of course the media knows the situation between him and his Ex-wife Ua.He founds out that Ua got married again in 2008 with a guy named Bishū Hasegawa, a non celebrity dude.

He didn't cared though,he only cares for his son and his son only. He still kept their old pictures together as a family on his phone though, he didn't want to loose the precious memories that Nijiro had as a child. Back to Nijiro, he is currently inside a room that had bean bags and other stuff, he didn't know why he was here and how does his dad know this place. Currently he is waiting for his dad to come in the room after talking to  a friend that he met the other day he says, good thing it was school break so that Nijiro didn't have to worry about school,he only worries about the stack of homework he has in his room. He sighs as he sits on one of the bean bags in the room,waiting for his dad to finish the conversation between him and his friend.

After a few minutes of waiting,the door's of the room slams wide open to reveal his dad and another guy that was taller then his dad. He had shaggy long straight like hair that was black,and the under side of his hair a yellowish gold. He wore a black jacket with his sleeves pulled up so it stops at his elbow,the zipper of his jacket goes down a bit to just show his collar bone, he had a galaxy like bracelet and some grey and white leggings,and the last part he had bright blue shoes that were a bit big. The man stood behind Jun as as Nijiro stand up "Nijiro you might be wondering who this young ng man is" Jun said smiling softly,Nijiro just tilted his head to the side,confused "You may introduce yourself" Jun said as he moves aside for the man to stand at full few for Nijiro to see "Hello there,my name is Sakurada Dori. But you can call me Dori or onii Chan (big brother) if you like" Dori said,as he biwed a bit at Nijiro "I'm 21 years old,I'm a big fan your dad as you can see. We met yesterday at a park,he mentioned that you were lonely..so I decided to become your babysitter-" "Wait,you want this oldhag..to take care of me?" Nijiro said,looking at his dad in disbelief "Yes!, of course i am,plus he's 21 he is not that old. I just can't bare to see you,my son so lonely and down. So I thought that Dori here could keep you company for today until I'm done with my work. I'll pick you up after that" Jun said smiling at Nijiro softly "Fine,but if this dude is boring I'm done" "Boring?,who says I'm boring. I literally am a master of Uno when it comes to playing it with my friends" Dori said crossing his arms while looking down at the 14 year old in front of him "heh,try me" Nijiro said,crossing his arms too while looking up at him "I see you boys will get along greatly!,well I got to go to work now,please take care of him okay Dori?" "Yes Mr.Murakami,I will do my best!" Dori said bowing at him "No need to bow!,and call me Jun. Nijiro you behave okay?" Jun said as walked out of the room "Okay dad!" Nijiro shouted through the halls.

And that's the day where Nijiro felt happy again,Dori taught him many things in life. He really likes Dori and ends up calling him his own big brother that day. Dori taught him how to have fun,he even introduced him to Fanta,his dachshund.

That one faithful day,he will never forget..

.

.

.

.

"Nijiro?,Nijiro!" Nijiro opened his eyes carefully observing where he was,as he looked at his dad that was on the drivers seat,he realized that he wasn't in his old room anymore. He thought that his dad must've carried him from inside the house all the way inside the car,now he felt bad "Don't worry about me carrying you,besides you're shorter than me,and way more lighter to carry" His dad said smiling at him, "You know you should've woken me up at the house dad" He grumbled tiredly as he rubbed his right eye, looking from the passenger's seat window to be met front faced with his house. He realized that the skies were already a softer darker shade of blue,meaning that it was going to be night time "Well,I can't bare to wake up my son. He'll get grumpy!" His dad said chickling while boiling his nose "Daaad~!, stop!" Nijiro said as he pouted At him,Jun just laughed at his expression remembering the old days whenever he woke him up for him to go to school he would pout and whine..no Nijiro isn't a brat,he's just not a morning person that's all.

Nijiro got out of the car,saying  goodbye and thank you to his dad as his dad drove off into the night.

He sighed as he got in his house,turning on the Air conditioner in his living room as he got into the bathroom to take a warm shower, he stripped off his clothes and turns on the shower,he got inside as the warm water hits his skin. After how many minutes in the shower,he got out and wrapped the white towel around his waist, getting out of the bathroom into his room as he got dressed in his night wear. Tomorrow he's going to shoot as Chishiya again,and he knew he had to go to the studio early in the morning,so he got down stairs to have dinner. After dinner he washed his plate and turned off the air conditioner in the living room, going up stairs to go to sleep.

[THE NEXT DAY]

(Year/date: ??/12/2020)

(Location: ??? Studio)

"Okay we're here!" His dad said smiling at Nijiro "Dad,explain again on why do you want to go to work with me??" Nijiro looked at his dad with a confused look "You'll see" His dad said,grinning widely at him as he got out of the car,Nijiro did the same as they both walked to the entrance of the studio. They both got in the main studio to be met with lightening's,cameras and other stuff for the filming. Nijiro went inside one of the dressing rooms to get dressed in his Chishiya costume,his dad following him "Ah! There is our Cheshire!,and oh? I see that you brought the famous one and only Jun with you!" The director said,Shinsuke Sato who looked behind Nijiro to greet his dad with a wide smile "Yes! And you must be the most talented director Shinsuke huh?" His dad said,laughing together with Shinsuke "Dad,don't embarrass me" Nijiro mummbled quietly "Non need to be Nijiro! Me and Shinsuke here are good friends!" His dad exclaims as Nijiro was requested to sit on a black chair so that they could apply his make up and Chishiya wig on.

Meanwhile in the brake room, there were two boy's playing Uno before the filming starts. Both of them already in their characters clothes,and they were both ready for the set. Dori in his Niragi costume holding 2 Uno cards on his hand smirking at the other boy Kento that is in his Arisu costume that has 4 cards in his hands,sending Dori a glare that say's 'you better not have two lucky cards in your hand's or you're dead', Dori just laughed at his glare as Kento put's down a red stop sign card "Hah!,I stopped you! It's my turn again!" Kento said as he put's down the black colour changing card "You may Kento" Dori said smirking at him, kento frowns and thinks on what colour should he pick. He thought on what Arisu would do in this situation "Ah!,I choose the colour....Yellow!" Kento said happily...not longer after that Dori put's down both of his cards,showing two yellow card on the table "Uno game!" He shouted happily "Aww c'mon!, I had plenty of yellow cards! See!?" Kento said showing his cards to Dori.

Dori just chuckled "Well I guess it's my lucky day..Ryohei Arisu" He said smirking,looking at Kento "I'll beat you someday...Suguru Niragi" Kento said,looking at Dori with a serious look until both of them burst out laughing. The two were best friends ever since 2013,they didn't know that their friendship would last for 7 years by now. They stopped laughing when the door of the break room opens revealing a Nijiro that is now in his Chishiya costume and Jun right behind him "Ah,Dori. It has been a long time I haven't seen you" Jun said,smiling at him, Dori walking towards him and giving the much older man a friendly hug "Yes! It's been like..i don't know..8 years?? Since we haven't seen each other?" Dori said smiling "hmm...guess so!" Both of them laughed,Kento walking towards them and bowing at Jun "It is a pleasure to meet you Mr.Murakami" Kento said "Ah,and you must be Kento Yamazaki hm? I've heard you from Dori" Jun replies "Oh,I didn't know he told you about me,but still what brings you here?" Kento asked him "Yeah dad,why are you at work with me?" Nijiro asked,looking at his dad.

"Well..i want you two,Kento and Dori..to take care of my son here" Jun said,looking at both men that is in front of him and his son "I see that I have to be your babysitter again huh Jiji?~" Dori said booping Nijiro's nose"No touching!" Nijiro hissed and rubbed his nose "Aww c'mon you're such a cute wittle baby Jiji~" Kento said,squeezing his left cheek "I said no touching!" Nijiro said as he crossed his arms against his chest "I see the three of you are getting along quite nicely,well got to go now,Nijiro behave" Jun said,walking out the door. Leaving the three boys alone in the room. "So..where should we start?" Kento asked "Maybe the both of you should start by leaving me be. I'm fine okay? I'm almost 24 so f#*k off!" Nijiro hissed as he grabbed his phone from his pocket and sat on one of the chairs of the brake room while playing PUBG on his phone "Jeez...how did you take care of him when he was 14?" Kento asked Dori "Well easy,grab his game boy- well phone now and just let his steam off" Dori said,grabbing Nijiro's phone.

Nijiro looked up at him in disbelief with wide eyes, shocked that he took his phone "WHY THE F##K DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?" Nijiro shouted,Kento stumbled back, startled at Nijiro's sudden tone "You'll get brain damage if you keep staring at your phone non stop,let it rest for at least 1 hour. Now we need to shoot a series" Dori said with a glare and a serious tone,Nijiro shivered remembering ok what Dori did to him when he disobeyed his orders. That day,Nijiro didn't listen to what Dori told him resulting a hard pinch from Dori until right arm got a purple bruise on it "Okay fine!" Nijiro said,stuttering a bit. His dad didn't even mind that Dori pinched him,Cause Jun knows what's right for his son and what's not.

After that, they all started shooting.

After it ended Nijiro sat on one of the chairs and stared into space for awhile until he heard someone calling his name "Oi! Nijiro!,here's your phone. Sorry that I took it from you" Dori said smiling,ruffling Nijiro's Chishiya wig. Kenti doing the same as he smiled widely "You're lucky that you have a babysitter like me and him you know that Jiji?" Kento said grinning widely at him "Hm,thanks" Nijiro said,smiling a bit.

[HOW MANY MINUTES LATER]

"I'll buy you ice cream if you behave Jiji!" Kento said,Nijiro Stole Kento's Takoyaki and now Kento is angry "But these are so good" Nijiro said, chuckling while taking another bite of the Takoyaki "Nijiro..give them back" Dori said "okay okay! I was just playing around with you" He said,while apologizing to Kento. After that they both go back home to Nijiro's house.

"So wanna watch some Disney movies Jiji?" Kento asked"Y-yes.."Nijiro said shyly. Ever since when he was little,he had been a fan of Disney movies "Let's watch Frozen II then!" Doris said,grabbing some popcorn and sitting right next to Kento and Nijiro.

And that night,Nijiro would never forget on how he was getting babied by the both of them until his dad came to his house.

[Sorry for the bad ending- I have too many wips right now and I am tired cause I finished this at night,so I hope all of you enjoyed this ☺]