#which was years after i graduated
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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some photos from the boys' teen years
#ts4#simblr#ts4 edit#ts4 render#sims 4#myedits#dhestyn#kelly#stella#& by teen years i do actually just mean teen year singular#these are all from 2016 which. is the year they graduated high school AND#the only year dhes didn't do anything crazy to his hair#bc that was the year after the Bleach Incident(tm)#& he was trying to make it healthy again#believe me the boy's hair is absolutely fried#i really want to do more of these & include the other kiddos#& span over more years bc the boys have known each other since they were like. 13 so#there are a lot of pictures to be taken yk#& tbh this is just my favorite kind of edit to do#they're fun & cute & don't require a lot of brain power#at some point i will print these out & make a scrapbook#as soon as someone invents a printer that actually works
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Sometimes your life feels like it’s over and then you’re 6 years older in the blink of an eye.
#sentimental story time in the tags#this is about an ex friendship that changed me as a person forever and my current best friend who has also changed me#I still remember the time my ex friend and I held hands but they got uncomfortable and dropped mine pretty quickly#which ofc is perfectly fine yknow#but I really wanted to keep holding their hand because I was and am horrifically touchstarved#we never held hands again and cut ties as sophomores in high school#but in junior year I met my current best friend and she was so comfortable with touch#I wrote in a journal somewhere that her hands are always cold and I want to keep them warm#she visited my home after graduation this one time and while we were hanging out on my couch she just grabbed my hand and started messing#with my fingers and running her thumb over my nails#it was so casual and went on for a while#I don’t even know if she realised she was messing with my hand#but it was really nice#haven’t seen her in months because of school but I can’t wait to see her again after this semester is over#moose posting#moose rambles
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Fixed the door that Johnathan had slipped through, not letting that happen again!
#dracula daily#dracula#re: dracula#may 18th#it's going to be all ooc after this tag on this post so feel free to ignore as i babble on about graduation and breathy mention mental heal#i graduated high school yesterday#which feels completely wild because their was a point in my life where i thought i wouldn't ever see it due to some mental health stuff#it just feels so serial to be here and be getting ready for college come fall#dracula daily has been with me for most of highschool#i first entered the fandom just after my sophomore year when i made my first tumblr account#i read it every day during lunch junior year when i had no friends with the same lunch hour#it's meant a lot to me and will always be connected to a certain time in my life#highschool wasn't great but i had some amazing teachers and made friends i hope to keep for the rest of my life#thank you too all of you lovely dracula people for making me smile all these years#i'm excited to keep reading and making silly jokes as i head into the world
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My Tumblr followers. If and when you see this. Just don't look at twitter man
This year is cooked
Sorry for the vent but omg this year man THIS YEAR UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (read tags for context)
#2024 is done#worst year of my life#shitpost#kagevt#Hes coming back after his dramatic af graduation because he's a shit person because 3 months suddenly makes you a better person. Rent due?#People are beefing over whether fat nuggets or waddles is the better pig and saying hazbin copied gravity falls#Bc if we're talking cartoon pigs then 2007 spider pig Simpsons did it way before gravity fall so bad argument their#gravity falls#The dream smp members are being haunted by the ghost of their admins infection rate#Which is to say every dsmp member is gonna take a huge L this year and it's Eret's and Niki's turn currently#eret#niki niachu#AND ALL THE GOOD ANIMES IS ENDING SO I LITERALLY DON'T HAVE A DISTRACTION#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON MR BEAST OML#vent post#vent#Eret and Ava Tyson were dating??? And Eret doesn't believe that she'd be “capable” of some of the bad thing she did WHEN ITS ALL PUBLIC INFO#mr beast#He sending out more lawsuits then batman has dollar bills#People are pressuring other people to join Mcc rising even though the team comp is literally too toxic got them#mcyt#Like if they don't want to play then don't make them play simple as. But NOOOOOOOOOO we gotta send disgusting shit and for what??#Have some dignity#I swear if another thing happens this year I'm throwing the YouTube and Twitter files into a nuclear bomb aimed at my brain bc I can't#And all that's on my mind is that if Technoblade could have seen the shit people are doing he'd be disappointed#I feel bad knowing he passed away without knowing the truth but I hope he's happy with what he did have#And my mental health is tanking#UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#chat i'm cooked
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soo you know that one friend from school with whom you had a weird homoerotic bff dynamic with? who you weren't the closest with but were in the same friendgroup so you ended up hanging out and got to know way too much about each other?
well so we've been in different countries the last couple of years and we've sort of lost touch a bit (if you ignore the spontaneous almost-therapy-sessions which happens every 8 months or so, but this is just to say it's still a weird dynamic). so we are in the same location for a couple of days and she messaged me to meet up and then ignored me when I said I'm free today?? like i both dread meeting her and also really miss hanging out.
the thing is we have also not really ever hung out alone (maybe once or twice and it was super awkward). and our mutual friends are being dicks cause it's the holiday season and they 'have stuff planned' and there was always this awkward tension between us so idk where i stanf
#the thing is she probably forgot#she could also be ghosting me#like i ghosted her in year 10 (it's a weird relationship we had)#but idk whether i want to go anyway#if it was anyone else i'd just ignore it or message them again#also for context after 9 months radio silence we would have a chat about her spirituality or me having an existential crisis#or that one time she got lost and had to walk 8 miles#but she graduated and got a new job which i only got to know from our mutual friends#which is fine. our dynamic has always been like that#but it leaves me not knowing wtf to do#also i'm genuinely really busy so I can't just meet her whenever#ugh#ignore all this#just needed to rant#i'm not really mad at my other friends it would just be so much easier if we could all just meet up together#oversharing again
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a parent emailed me at 11:35 am on friday, then followed up yesterday morning on monday at 9am. that is around 5 working hours. thats the same as emailing someone at 9 am then following up at 2. insane.
#i dont understand how he can think for a second thats not an unhinged thing to do#did you expect a response from me on the weekend#THEN#he calls me this morning AND shows up asking to talk to me#this was after i responded to that email#and included a line about taking 2 WORKING days to respond to emails#also to clarify this is not an emergency situation#its not like he emailed me saying his kid is in criss#no shes upset about her grades#which is all fine and dandy and im happy to check in but i have seniors who are. like. not gonna graduate#i also have 4 requests for 504s#and its the year anniversary of my student who killed herself#which i have not found sufficient time to think about but#so im a little hair trigger right now#me#mine
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CHAT IM FUCKING COOOKED
APPARENTLY BOTH ME AND MY ADVISOR MISSED THAT I HAD TO TAKE 3 (THREE) PHYSICS CLASS TO GRADUATE NOT 2 (TWO)
BC APPARENTLY PHYSICS 11A B AND C DONT GO IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER
I NEED 11B TO GRADUATE
AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE 11A (which transferred over from my community college) THEN 11C ???????? THEN 11B ????????
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
AND ALL ARE SEMESTER LONG CLASSES I CANT TAKE CONCURRENTLY
I AM COOKED
#if i dont graduate on time i will be devastated#bc i worked my ass off to be able to transfer to a 4year and graduate in 2 years after community college#and now its looking very grim like i have to take an extra semester#which means i wont get to graduate with my cohort and all my friends that ive made in the department#and ill have to pay extra to change my grad date if that does happen#FUCK#irl
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you know the market is fucked when youre told the number of people who applied to this job through the site youre using alone and youre one of 300+ nearly every time
#its the job cuts#the 10.000+ layoffs of public servants in this city of which i was one#and theyve (govt) announced theyre cutting MORE jobs.#including my mothers job. she'll have to go after christmas because theyre cutting down to 1 receptionist#i cannot express to you how dead it is in the center city because thousands us are without work#since the cuts started (feb/march this year) the number of people moving to aus has increased.#uni students and ex public servants just see no future here and i dont blame them. my cousin just graduated and moved to aus last week#bunch of cafes and bakeries and businesses are shutting down n blaming the cycleways like no bitch#we're in a cost of living crisis and a giant chunk of the city dont have jobs to be spending on $7 coffees#i only go out once a week. i spend the rest of my time at home sending out applications and practising my hobbies#its just not tenable
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I just realized I haven’t written a bakugou fic in a year and it’s making me emotional ALSJSKDJDJD
#who am i anymore#I think it’s the prozac tho it’s made me like. less hyper focused on fandoms#like I’ve only written I think four fics this entire year#which is STRANGE for me#as someone who was averaging three fics a week 😭#I miss him so bad tho#like it genuinely made me tear up ALSJDKFJDK#maybe after I graduate I can write more fics#I’ve just been so single focused with this being my last leg before graduation#I haven’t been doing anything besides crocheting and reading and it’s making me sad#after my gojo fics I might finish this one fic I have for bkg finally#ohhhhh this is making me so sad gelp#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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ok reading might be so fucking back this year
#teeth.txt#idk yet i'm worried i'm not gonna be able to sustain this b#*but i've been reading more the past month or so than i have in like one million years#i'm 6 months post grad and i think my brain cells are finally coming back lol#i was basically not reading at all for fun (and honestly barely reading for class) all throughout college#i kept starting and not finishing soooo many books#even after graduation i think i started like 5 or 6 books and just couldn't get myself to finish any of them#but idk the last month i've been reading semi consistently#and also listening to some audiobooks#and i finished one audiobook and i'm almost done with another and i'm also almost done with a physical book#which is like not a ton but it's so much more than where i've been at#i think i need to be reading two books at a time which sounds counterintuitive but that's how i've always read so that i can switch off#if one gets boring#and i'm trying out reading a more serious/theory/nonfiction book alongside a slightly easier fantasy/fiction/scifi book#right now it's cultish by montell and the raven boys by stiefvater#i have huuuuge to-read lists though bc of the aforementioned inability to read for fun for four years lol#on my hands and knees to my reading ability. please be back. please be so fucking back.#also follow me on storygraph i'm truecorvid on there as well
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Oh to be old (like 30) and be so undeniably in love and changed by your other half that the line of where you begin and where he ends is too blurred to distinguish
#izuru kamukura#nagito komaeda#kamukoma#danganronpa#This is from an AU that I and a friend had in an rp server#Izuru wasn't built to last so their health began to deteriorate quite quickly a few years after graduation#Nagito on the other hand was lavishly pampered and loved in all the ways an Izuru can show love and he gained weight#Going from severally underweight from how his cancer took a toll on his appetite and health to a little overweight#because Izuru loves him so so much and made sure he ate#While Izuru themself lost a bit of weight after a few surgeries and developed muscular dystrophy#which is why they have the cane... helps them stand for longer periods#and helps them get around the house. though they'd never be seen in public with such a thing#hajime hinata#i guess
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#A fe months after my dad died in 2021 a lady at my church invited me to a girl's night at her house#And another and another#And soon I had a group of Catholic friends that were exactly what I needed at that moment in my life#But then a year and a half ago the lady who hosted the girls nights had a baby and now she's running a mother's group at the church#so she doesn't have as much time to dedicate to hosting#And it's become a every few months sort of thing#And then some friends I used to see at church a lot started going to a different church#I also joined the young adult group at my church not long after my dad passed and went to the meetings and made friends there#But then the lady who ran it (who I was friends with as well) moved out of state#And it was sorta in limbo for a good 6 months until one of the guys finally started it again#But that was right around the time I got my new job and started working full time#so I have been to like one of 5 events in the last few months#And I felt rather sad cause a lot of my old friends from the group didn't come#tho I did get to know some new people and it was fun#I just feel like everyone is leaving me again#Just like when I graduated highschool and suddenly all of my friends from my homeschool groups vanished#I also stopped helping at the home school co-op I went to which I've been doing since i graduated because of my job#I just feel so lonely
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after an incredible amount of pointless stress inducing bullshit, I finally know for certain that I have earned a bachelor's degree in computer science with a minor in mathematics!
#text#programming#math#notice the phrasing#i was very very very close to NOT passing one class#but#grades weren't due til RIGHT NOW#which is over a day after the graduation ceremony#and somehow that one class i was nearly failing was the last one to put in grades by several minutes#what i would be doing with my life for the next year hinged on that fucking moment#and now#well#i don't fucking know
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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UK / US college tuition fees has to b the biggest scam in history of edu. cation
#like wdym i now owe an extra 10k bc of interest rate 4 years after graduating#i litcherally had 2 hrs of class per week sometimes#max 9 hours#the only reason i got my current jobz was bc of my Masters in france#which was ... btw... FREE#and actually paid me while giving me wurk experience#bref#et oui u could say it was my decision etc. etc.#mais at 18 with no more experience beyond high school litcheral teenagers shouldnt have to be making such great financial decisions
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