#which tastes great btw that’s a very good thing for me to say about a piece of media

[sskk-manifesto]

♡

[13eyond13]

.

[sometimes-sleeby-octopus]

I’m back in the Stanley Parable fandom aww yeah

So I present:

Sandbox AU ✨

- some details are a work in progress

- either timekeeper or the curator the narrator figured it out (no idea lol literally only used to write about Narry and Stanley)

- Featuring Snake adventure line because I said so.

- Stanley can go ANYWHERE like FOR REAL. He can leave if he wants! He can leave and come back! He could leave forever if he wanted to (he doesn’t really know if he wants to leave forever)

- At first Stanley just stays in the office. He doesn’t really get that he can leave

- When he does figure out he can leave he doesn’t go very far for very long. It’s daunting after being stuck in the office for such a long time

- The narrator can’t really leave

- At least not until he figures out a physical form!

- The overwhelmingness of the outside world is too real for both Stan and Narry

- Resets are still a thing but it’s up to either the Narrator or Stanley (and/or whoever codes sandbox)

- Players are still a thing but they’re more like ghosts who can interact with their surroundings; They’re no longer in control of the fate of Stan, Narry, etc

- Maybe that’s a minor conflict? Just the players being annoying? LOL

- Import/Build features? Art creator of some kind?

- Stannarrator as a treat for me and fellow shippers; Me manifesting the domestic love life through fanfiction be like-

- Probably ooc writing with base character traits because I’m having fun and ooc? Normally how I roll lol

- Based in canon (but only the endings I know because I missed some in the play throughs I watched RIP)

- Narrator’s body is either Creature TM or Android

[mattitties]

Can you do one when you talked to a guy and he was flirting (at a party btw). So matt becomes rlly angry and the whole ride home u guys were fighting. When u arrived home you went upstairs changed into smth like rlly showy (as pj's) and it turned on matt. Then y'all took it to the bed. (I wrote you as in y/n)

based on this request ^^

possessive - matt sturniolo

SMUTTY AF!!! dom!matt and sub!reader. choking, tying up, degrading, the whole nine.

“Come onnnn, we’re gonna be late!” Matt groans from the kitchen. 

“Sorry, coming!” I call back as I spray some perfume on before walking to meet him. “Ready!”

“Great, let’s go,” he huffs, giving me a kiss on the cheek. 

We’re going to one of the fancy LA influencer events that the triplets get invited to, which I also get invited to by association. Chris and Nick had been hanging out with friends all day so we’re meeting them there, and I may have made us leave a little later than we planned on. 

“You know how long it takes you to get ready, so you should start getting ready with enough time so we can actually leave on time,” he tells me after a few minutes of silence in the car.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” I apologize. “But we’re not thattttt late, and it’s a party! Nobody shows up on time.”

He waves a hand at me as if to say forget about it. “It’s fine,” he says. “You look beautiful anyway, so being late is worth it if I get to stare at you looking like this all night.”

I roll my eyes and smile. “You look pretty good too. Maybe we should just turn around and skip the whole thing and have a party by ourselves.”

“Oh don’t tempt me,” he smirks. “I don’t even wanna go to this thing anyway.”

“I know you don’t,” I pat his thigh for some comfort. “Let’s just spend like, an hour there, and if we wanna leave I can say I don’t feel good or something.”

When we arrive, he immediately grabs my hand without a word and makes a beeline towards Chris and Nick. 

“Fucking finally!” Chris says, throwing his hands up. “We were placing bets on if you guys were gonna show face at all.”

“I made us late, but we’re here now!” I try to take the attention off of our lack of punctuality. “I’m gonna get a drink, you guys want anything?”

“Nick and I are good,” Chris holds his Pepsi can up.

“Matt?”

“I’m okay baby, thank you,” he smiles and gives me a quick peck before I head to the bar. 

“Vodka cran, please,” I tell the bartender, then open Instagram to pass the time as he gets my drink. 

“Vodka cran is your drink of choice, huh?” a voice next to me says. I look up and see a brunette with green eyes leaning next to me. He looks familiar and has an incredibly friendly smile. Probably an influencer, but I just can’t place him.

“Oh, yeah,” I smile. “Always has been. It disguises the vodka taste pretty well.”

“Yeah, I always just stick with beers. I can’t stand hard liquor, it’s awful.”

“Me too. I’m such a pussy when it comes to alcohol. If it’s too strong I just won’t drink it,” I tell him. The bartender puts my drink in front of me and I pull out my card to pay as I thank him, but am stopped by this man (whose name I do not know) as he pulls his own card out. 

“Let me buy you this one,” he smiles and winks. He’s clearly flirting, and I obviously have no intention of doing anything, but why would I turn down a free drink?

“Wow, thank you!” I say. “That’s very nice, I appreciate it.”

“No worries. Do you wanna–”

“No, she doesn’t wanna. Thanks man,” he’s cut off by Matt, who had put his hand on my waist before I even realized he was behind me. I look up at his face. He looks pissed. 

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize you had a boyfriend,” the guy says. “Um… I already paid so… don’t worry about it… but…” he walks away awkwardly without finishing his sentence.

“Free drink! Score!” I smile at Matt and hold up my cup.

He doesn’t smile back. “Mhm.”

My face drops. Okay, clearly he doesn’t find the situation very amusing. “Matt, come on, I wasn’t gonna do anything. We had barely made any conversation before he offered to buy it for me.”

“He was clearly flirting with you. Why were you even entertaining him?” he asks.

“I wasn’t entertaining him! I said two sentences to him, got my drink, and he pulled out his card before I said anything else. What was I supposed to say, ‘no, don’t buy me a drink, I have a boyfriend’?”

“Yes!!!” he shouts before walking back to the booth Chris and Nick were sitting in. 

I follow him, not sure if I should give up or try to prove myself more. I choose the latter. 

“Okay, first of all don’t yell at me. Second, all he did was buy me a drink. It’s not like he tried to kiss me or anything, he was just being nice!” I retort.

“He was not just being nice,” he says as he sits back down. “Guys never buy girls drinks just to be nice. He was trying to get in your pants.”

“Okay, well so what? If he started doing anything weird or outwardly flirtatious I would have left the situation immediately. I don’t think it’s a crime to accept a free drink,” I tell him, sitting next to him.

He closes his eyes and inhales deeply, like he’s trying to calm himself down. “It’s not about the drink. It’s just about respect. You don’t accept a drink from a guy when you have a fucking boyfriend.”

I sit for a moment, thinking about my next words. I still don’t think I did anything wrong, but I don’t want to keep fighting, so I back down. “Okay,” I say softly. “I’m sorry.”

He looks at me blankly. “Do you know what you’re sorry for? Or are you just saying that?”

Damn, he knows me too well. 

I don’t say anything.

“Yeah, exactly,” he scoffs. We both sit in awkward silence for a couple minutes, neither of us being in any mood to talk to people, until I bite the bullet and speak.

“Do you wanna go home?”

He rolls his eyes and gets up. I look at him, unsure of what he’s doing, until he says, “Are you just gonna sit there or are we gonna go?”

I follow him to the car, and we sit in even more awkward silence. I don’t want to piss him off even more, so I say nothing. 

“You know, it’s not even about the drink anymore,” he starts. “It’s about the fact that you don’t even know what you did was wrong.”

“Because I don’t think it was wrong,” I say calmly. “I was never going to reciprocate any flirting or do anything to show I was interested. All I did was accept the drink.” 

He grips the wheel in frustration as we pull into the garage. “Whatever. I’m done arguing about this. It’s just ridiculous that you can’t see where I’m coming from.”

“I can see where you’re coming from,” I tell him. “I just think you’re being a little too jealous and possessive for this situation.”

He looks at me as he turns the car off. “You wanna see possessive? Go inside and get on the bed.”

“What?” I ask. His whole demeanor just changed. He was pissed before, but now he’s like… primal. Talking through gritted teeth. His neck veins bulging. It’s kinda hot…

“Do you need me to repeat myself? Go inside. And get. On. The. Bed.”

Oh shit. He’s got some crazy animalistic thing going on. And I don’t know why, but I’m incredibly turned on. So I listen. 

I get out of the car, go inside, and sit on his bed. He comes in shortly after, taking off his belt without breaking eye contact with me.

My heart is racing, but I keep staring at him. 

“You have no idea how possessive I can be,” he tells me, leaning onto the bed with both hands on either side of me. Our faces are inches apart. “You may not know what you’re supposed to be sorry for, but you’re gonna apologize to me in the way I want. Got it?”

I nod, and he grabs my jaw. “Words.”

“Yes. Got it.”

He stands up and removes his shirt from the back of his collar with his tattooed arm, then leans back over me and slowly pushes me back onto the bed with his hand around my neck. “What do you have to say to me?” he says deeply.

“I’m sorry…” I whisper, debating on whether or not I should continue my sentence with the word I know will drive him crazy. I go for it anyway. “Daddy.”

His eyes darken and he kisses me harshly, not giving me any warning before his tongue slips into my mouth. I’m completely at his disposal, and I need more. 

“You’re gonna show me how sorry you are, yeah?” he speaks into my mouth as he reaches into his now unzipped pants and his black briefs and pulls out his dick. I look down for just long enough to see how hard he is, as red as ever and making his hand wet as he rubs his tip. I know what he wants from me, and who am I to deny him of that? I usually would be a brat, but I guess I’ve been a brat enough for him tonight. 

I sit up and softly take him in my hand, running my thumb over his slit and looking up at him through my eyelashes. He groans under his breath. “Come on baby, don’t tease.”

At that, I wrap my lips around him and begin to bob my head, swirling my tongue and licking up and down. He responds by taking my hair into a ponytail in his hand, looking down at me with furrowed brows and his mouth slightly open. “That’s it,” he moans. “Take daddy’s cock just like that.”

I push myself deeper and grip his thigh for support. His hips are bucking and he’s hitting the back of my throat. I’m fully expecting for him to cum in my mouth until he pulls out and flips me over onto my stomach without warning. 

“Hands behind your back,” he says, and I immediately oblige, laying my wrists on top of each other near my lower back. He uses the belt that he was wearing earlier in the night to tie my hands together, then he lifts my hips up to meet his own and lets my dress fall forward so that my bottom half is accessible for him. 

I whine as I feel his tip run over my soaked thong, and then wince as he gives me a harsh slap. “You were a bad girl tonight, you know that?” he says as he pulls my underwear off and tosses them. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” I apologize. “Please fuck me.”

“Shut up,” he says, but he’s clearly just as eager – he pushes into me quickly, giving me a few seconds to adjust before he begins thrusting hard. 

“FUCK,” I shout as the mix of pain and pleasure washes over me. 

“Mmmm, yeah baby?” he grips my hips and pounds into me, the sound of our skin slapping overtaking the whole room. “You like being punished?”

“Uh huh,” I’m incapable of saying anything else. My orgasm is already approaching and I push my head into the bed for some sense of control as I feel my body start to fall apart. 

“That’s it princess, keep clenching around my cock like that,” he says, his thrusts getting deeper and deeper. He reaches his hand around my neck and lifts me up so my back is pressed against his chest; his mouth is right next to my ear, and it’s heavenly. 

“Daddy, I’m gonna cum,” I whimper. 

He groans in response and chokes me tighter as I clench around him. “Fuckkkkk, that’s so good.” He repeats a string of curses, his dick twitching inside me before I feel him releasing and his thrusts get slower and softer.

We stay there for a moment regaining ourselves, then he undoes the belt on my wrists and pulls out of me. I collapse on the bed, too out of it to even notice him coming back with a wet towel to clean me up. 

He lays next to me and kisses my temple. 

“Are you mad at me?” I ask, turning my head to look at him. “I really am sorry.”

He shakes his head. “I was over it halfway through the drive home. Just fun to fuck the anger out, right?”

I smirk and nod my head. “So if I get another free drink from a guy, it’s fine?” I tease.

His face drops. “Don’t push it.”

[iamnmbr3]

Just wanted to say that I like your Drarry meta posts. They have really given me a new appreciation for HBP and Draco and Harry's dynamic.

I just have a genuine question about your feelings on Harry.

Part of why Drarry began to leave a bad taste in my mouth was that I found book canon Harry to be very distasteful. He just seemed like a vindictive and unempathetic person. Even his remorse for almost killing Draco in book 6 was short lived and I think that same chapter ended with that awful Hinny kiss.

However, your posts seem to indicate a certain care for Draco. So where did this start? What made Harry transform from the guy who participated in group assaulting Draco end of book 4 & 5 to the guy who is trying to cover up Draco's tracks in book 6?

Thank you so much! Glad you've been enjoying my posts. That's so nice of you to say. I have enjoyed your meta as well btw!

This is a great question. I have a lot of thoughts. They are, of course, my personal interpretation and everyone is ultimately free to read things however they like.

The Context:

So first of all I think it's important to consider the larger context of this scene. Harry and Draco are in a fantastical and heightened setting. They are not simply classmates who don't like each other who got into a fight. They are at this point both soldiers on opposite sides of a war.

Draco is a Death Eater. His father has watched and jeered as Harry was tortured and nearly killed in a graveyard. Harry faced Lucius again in fifth year and fought him and is in fact to blame for Lucius's fall from grace and Draco's resultant punishment. Harry has been tasked with defeating Voldemort. Draco has been tasked with killing Dumbledore (though as a punishment not with the expectation that he will truly succeed). Harry knows that Draco is a Death Eater and believes he is tasked with doing something nefarious on behalf of Voldemort and is intent on stopping him.

This is the context of their fight. These are two people involved in a serious conflict on opposite sides actively striving against each other. This is not a simple spat between two classmates who don't like each other so we can't simply reduce it to that or we miss a lot of vital context. We can't judge it the way we would a fight between two people in a regular school who just don't like each other.

The Fight:

Now. As to the actual fight. Harry doesn't initiate it. He walks in on Draco crying and saying some incredibly incriminating stuff. Draco reacts in anger and humiliation and fear and attacks him. Harry responds in self defense and they use an escalating series of spells. Harry attempts Levicorpus for example which would stop Draco from continuing to attack him but certainly wouldn't hurt him even as much as a stunning spell would. And would, also, have allowed them to speak. Draco does quite a good job of holding his own against Harry and foils Harry's attempts to stop the fight. He then attempts in a moment of pain and anger to use an Unforgivable on Harry which Harry counters with Sectumsempra.

Harry has no idea what the Sectumsempra spell does when he uses it. It pops into his mind in a serious and potentially dangerous duel. Nothing in his education has really strongly impressed on him the risks of using untested spells. And none of the other Prince spells have been dangerous. Remember that originally he was planning to test the Sectumsempra spell on McLaggen. And he originally tested Leivcorpus on Ron. So he didn't know what the spell would do before he used it or view at something with the potential to be seriously hazardous.

He didn't do it out of vindictiveness. In fact, it's rather notable that while Harry can be vengeful he seems to have a particular aversion to hurting Draco even when you'd expect otherwise. Like in the beginning, despite the fact that Draco attacks him and breaks his nose and the fact that he already suspects him of being a Death Eater, Harry's anger towards him is surprisingly short lived and he never even thinks of doing anything to him to get even.

Harry's Reaction:

In my opinion, Harry actually has an extremely strong emotional reaction to nearly killing Draco. He is horrified by what he has done. To the point of a near panic attack. He is so upset that he freezes and just kind of collapses next to Draco.

And this is extremely atypical of Harry. Even in dire circumstances Harry is usually able to compartmentalize and keep a cool head and react well under pressure. Even in cases where he is to blame for the situation. When Ron starts dying from poison right in front of his eyes he is able to spring into action. When he realizes he's led his friends into a trap in book 5 he keeps calm and organizes a defense. When Hermione is being tortured in the Manor because they got captured due to Harry saying Voldemort's name he's able to keep calm and come up with a plan.

Also. Harry doesn't like to hurt people unnecessarily but he's still very formidable in combat and is actually quite willing to hurt people when he has to. He kills Quirrel without much regret and says later that he deserved what he got for helping Voldemort. He refuses to stun Stan Shunpike in book 7 because he is Imperiused but he stuns other Death Eaters even knowing they will likely fall to their deaths. Draco is a Death Eater working for Voldemort who has just attacked Harry.

Given his generally cool head under pressure and the fact that Draco is now an enemy on the other side of a war you might expect Harry to react calmly or even coldly to Draco's injury. But he doesn't at all. He can't think what to do. It's the only time we see him freeze up like that. His initial reaction is one of absolute horror. So much so that for once he can't even think of what to do:

Even after he sees that Draco has been healed and is no longer dying in front of him he can't tear his eyes away and is barely aware of his surroundings:

He's so upset he's literally shaking. And Harry has seen and suffered a lot of bad stuff. So that's saying a lot:

Harry is not someone who is good at expressing or even understanding his emotions. And especially with Draco it's difficult since he probably feels he should see Draco as more of an enemy than he actually does.

But I think his actions after this incident are very notable. Harry continues to believe that Draco is a Death Eater on a nefarious mission from Voldemort. And what he overheard Draco saying in the bathroom only further confirms this.

But after seeing Draco so scared and vulnerable and realizing that pursuing him brought them into a confrontation with each other where Harry ended up nearly killing him, Harry backs off completely.

He stops trying to discover and foil Draco's plan. He stops following him. Even though he is still convinced that Draco is involved in something dangerous he doesn't want to be the one to stop him. He doesn't want to be the cause of more fear or pain. Part of him probably also doesn't want to be the reason Draco is killed for failing.

Instead he distracts himself with other things. And it is in that context that he gets together with Ginny. After ditching her several times throughout the first part of the book to go chase after Draco instead, he gets together with her when he's trying to forget about Draco. Which uh. Sure was a choice on JKR's part.

So yeah I do think Harry actually was extremely affected by nearly killing Draco and regretted it a lot.

Book 4 & 5 fights:

As for the book 4 and 5 fights. Those are less serious but once again occur against the backdrop of being on opposite sides of the brewing war. In book 4 Harry is raw from the horrors of the graveyard and when Draco seeks him out and brings up Cedric he loses his temper as do the people he's with.

In book 5 Draco and co attempt to attack Harry to get revenge for Lucius's defeat and capture and Harry and some of his friends respond. (Draco eventually gets his revenge with the nose breaking incident in book 6).

Also we should remember these attacks occur in a world with magic where most injuries can be fixed instantaneously so they aren't as serious as they would be for one of us. These are, without a doubt, nasty incidents, but they are not one sided nor are they that surprising given the context.

Conclusion:

Drarry is, to me, a fascinating and deeply compelling ship because of how Draco and Harry are so compatible and drawn to each other despite their rivalry which evolves into them literally being on opposite sides of a war. And because of the themes of redemption and forgiveness that are implicit in the ship. With all the reasons they have to hate each other they never can, and when it counts, they always come through to protect each other.

[becauseimanicequeen]

Don't Ask Me for QL Recommendations Because My Taste is BAD

Bad as in TRASHY.

For your own good, don't ask me for recommendations.

I'm writing this because I've gotten some asks lately for QL recommendations and I wanted to spare you the pain.

If you still don't trust me (because to be fair, why would you? I'm just a random weirdo on the internet), let me tell you how bad my taste is so you'll know why I'm doing you a great favor by sparing you the pain.

(I also watch, and rewatch, series/films for ridiculous reasons, yet another reason not to listen to me. I’ll come back to this in a minute.)

Let's start with a brief rewind to a couple of decades ago (because it matters in this context).

The first queer content of any kind I can remember watching was Xena: The Warrior Princess in the late 90s and early 00s (I was a child/pre-teen at the time). It was such a pivotal point for me, which is why I remember it vividly. Not only was Lucy Lawless (the actress playing Xena) the most beautiful human being I had ever seen at that point, Xena was also queer and I loved her.

The series, though? It’s bad.

It’s over-the-top, contains ridiculous humor, face-palm-worthy fight scenes, etc., etc. (But, it was also the 90s, so it was quality television at the time, no matter what anyone else says.) It was so bad that it was ridiculously entertaining. I would watch it today (if I could find it anywhere…). That’s how bad my taste is (or how attached I am to bad shit).

That’s when the groundwork for my bad taste was laid. I blame THANK Xena: The Warrior Princess for it.

Then there was a huge skip until July last year when I found the Asian QL world, because I had no idea it even existed (I’m from Europe, btw).

(My personal story is that I fell into the queer/gay film world before the QL world, and the queer films I could find were made and released very sporadically. But ever since I found the treasure trove of Asian QL series in July 2023, I’ve watched 291 series/films as of right now.)

The reason I fell into the Asian QL world was thanks to a Short on YouTube with the main characters from Roommates of Poongduck 304 kissing. (Want to know what convinced me to watch it? One of them was wearing blue and the other pink, two of my favorite colors. Yep, that’s the reason. Told you it would be ridiculous.)

Since then, I’ve been exploring this rabbit hole and loving every second of all the bad shit that’s out there (there’s some great shit too, and some great things that aren’t shit at all, but they’re not really my taste because my taste is trashy, remember?).

I quickly noticed what my taste was pulling me towards and, in some cases, the trashier it was, the more I liked it.

(I’m talking about fiction here. I’m mature enough to be able to separate fiction from reality. Just because I enjoy watching a series/film that depicts a problematic topic, and sometimes do it in a problematic way, doesn’t mean I condone it in real life. I’m just putting this here as a disclaimer because people on the internet are easily offended nowadays. And I honestly don’t have time to respond to people who are venting their anger after purposefully misinterpreting what I’ve said, unless there’s a very valid reason, which there usually isn’t.)

So, what are some of my favorites that I absolutely do not recommend you watch?

Unless you want to watch trash, then, have at it. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

(Btw, if you like any of these, I apologize for calling your taste bad and trashy. But, if you like any of these, I think you already know your taste is bad. Also, if you like any of these, hey, bestie!)

Let’s start with the less extreme ones so I don’t scare you away from the start. After that, they’re in no particular order.

(With the issues/TW section for each series/film I include possible trigger warnings, taboo topics, what viewers/commenters have brought up as problematic, my possible issues with the writing, etc. I won’t list everything (because some of them would have looong lists) but I’m including some of the major ones.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

Both couples in this series have their own set of issues. Ai Di and Chen Yi are the “adoptive” brothers who become lovers while Ze Rui and Zong Yi have an age gap (I can’t remember how big of an age gap but I think it was close to 10-ish years).

(Before I move on there’s one thing you should know about me… I was born into a family with a varying degree of age gaps within marriages, from 2 to 23 years. Even though we’ve talked about the bigger age gaps occasionally, it’s never been an issue. I don’t mind age gaps as long as they’re legal. Does that mean I would hook up with someone in their late teens or early twenties? No. I would rather hook up with someone who has a fully developed brain, which science suggests doesn’t happen until somewhere in the mid-to-late-twenties. But it does mean that age gaps (as long as they’re legal) aren’t something I’ll be bothered by or judgemental of.)

Kiseki: Dear to Me is one of my favorite series because:

It’s from Taiwan, and the Taiwanese QLs are generally great at dealing with more difficult and taboo topics.

Ai Di is the feistiest, most colorful, and pettiest bitch and I love him with my entire ice-cold heart.

Chen Yi looks amazing in black.

The neon lights (because I’m a slut for that).

Also, the kissing (from both couples) is great.

You know, I did say that these would be series/films I absolutely do not recommend you watch. But I’ll actually recommend this one. Watch it. It’s great.

Unknown (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Age gap, “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another one I’ll actually recommend you watch because it’s great.

The main couple (Qian and Yuan) are the “adoptive” brothers becoming lovers while the age gap is most prominent between San Pang (Qian’s business partner) and Lili (Qian’s younger sister). There’s also the fact that San Pang is part of their chosen family and has seen Lili grow up and stuff. So, if that bothers you, then don’t watch it.

The biggest reasons I would personally recommend it to those I know aren’t particularly bothered by taboo topics are because:

The yearning is palpable (and I love shit like that).

Qian would move heaven and earth for his family.

The great story.

The even more amazing acting.

Some moments made me bawl (and since I'm an ice queen, I get obsessed with shit that shatters my ice and makes me cry).

I know I said my taste is trashy… but I would actually give myself a gold star for loving this one.

Now, back to the real trash…

Love in the Air (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, rape, MAME, etc.

Everyone and their aunt (or however the saying goes in English) seem to have an issue with MAME (the original creator of LITA and several other trashy BLs) and for good reason. (I would say that she improved a lot with Wedding Plan, which is the least problematic thing I’ve watched from her and it’s the latest series of hers, as of right now.) If she’s grown, remains to be seen. But it doesn’t change the fact that LITA has some issues.

Honestly, I just watch this for the visuals, as in the motorcycles and the neon lights. That’s it. That’s the reason.

I mean, if you look at the whole first sex scene between Sky and Prapai, you get what I mean with the neon lights. It’s divine. (I recently rewatched LITA for this very reason. A waste of time, you say? Not when you’re a slut for neon lights.)

Don’t watch this though! Just enjoy this gif instead…

I just saved you 13-ish hours of your life. You’re welcome.

TharnType and TharnType 2: 7 Years of Love (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, homophobia, domestic violence, MAME, etc.

Don’t watch this. This is bad. As in, really bad. And all the issues are in the main couple’s relationship.

But, since my taste is really bad, I rewatched this recently for horny reasons (it’s Mew, after all, and he’s got me in a chokehold for some reason). It’s still as bad as I remembered it, but I would still rewatch it for Mew’s sake (and because Techno is ridiculous throughout both seasons, which means I love him).

To be fair there are other, a lot spicier, series that I watch more often for horny reasons (yes, some of them are in this post because they’re trashy too), but none of them include Mew. And since I have to get my dose of Mew from time to time, I return to TharnType (especially the second season).

Big Dragon (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, blackmail, etc.

This isn’t that problematic in my opinion, but there is definitely a drug-induced sexcapade that’s taped and used for blackmail for a while. And that's how the series starts.

I recently did a rewatch of this and it was still bad (in a good way) and I loved every second of it.

What I love about this series are:

The visuals. The set designs are beautiful (especially Yai’s home and the bar, before he demolishes it). As a visual artist, this is speaking to my soul.

The chemistry between Yai and Mangkorn.

Pong and Park. Two idiots I love with my whole ice-cold heart.

And the title track because it’s addictive as hell to listen to.

Also, the sex (which my horny ass needs). Let's not forget the sex. Those scenes were also visually stunning, which made me love them even more.

Honestly, I'll kneel and bow down to this shit because it's that great.

Don’t trust my judgment, though, because my taste is trashy.

Only Friends (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Manipulation, stalking, promiscuity, etc.

This series is messy in terms of intrigue (especially from Boston and then Boeing’s part). The ending had some issues. The sex isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, either. I, on the other hand, would drink a whole pot of this.

Overall, I loved this trash. Mainly because of:

How visually stunning it is.

Sand. He’s a hardworking, good person. He’s also a proud bi!

How they depicted and handled Ray’s addiction and recovery. (I know some watchers were upset that the focus of the series landed on Sand and Ray towards the end while neglecting the other characters, which is a valid point. However, setting that aside, the way they portrayed Ray’s addiction and then his road to recovery in the last couple of episodes was realistic, and I loved it.)

The promiscuity, because I loved it and the mess it created.

Boston being a slutty asshole. The more of a slutty asshole he was, the more I loved him. (I know, it’s a me-problem.)

Boeing coming in and kissing (almost) everyone.

It’s trashy, it’s messy, and I love it!

But, I don’t recommend it to anyone.

My Beautiful Man 1, 2, and 3 Eternal (Japan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, obsession, bullying, lack of (or no real) communication, etc.

I love this series (2 seasons + 1 film), but I honestly don’t see it as particularly problematic. But I know others will disagree with me, so here it is on my list of trashy QLs.

I don’t mind Hira’s obsession because I know Kiyoi is just as whipped for Hira (even though he doesn’t know how to communicate it to Hira at first, especially in a way that Hira understands). Would I be okay with someone’s obsession and stalking in real life? Of course not. But, as I mentioned before, I’m mature enough to separate fiction from reality.

Also, I love miscommunicating characters, especially when the misunderstandings they create bring out all the emotions (angst, hurt, anger, sadness, embarrassment, etc.) and even the flight response. I especially love miscommunicating characters when they learn to communicate throughout the series/film. And this series is especially delicious on the miscommunicating part.

But, it’s also problematic, apparently. So, don’t watch it.

The End of the World With You (Japan)

Issues/TW: Blackmail, biphobia, cheating, etc.

I’ll be honest and say that I’ve only watched this series three times. And that’s because the biphobia is fucking annoying. In this series, the bi character is depicted as a cheater (which is common in QLs, btw). It’s an exasperating stereotype. Cheating has nothing to do with your sexuality and everything to do with who you are as a person.

(I mean, you can be a proud bi like Payu in LITA or Sand in OF. They have eyes only for one person as soon as they’re pursuing or dating someone. Give me more bi characters like this, please.)

We could discuss how cheating can be used as characterization in certain stories. But not in this one. Here, they’re basically using Ritsu’s bisexuality as the reason he’s cheating (since he’s sleeping with Masumi while having a thing going on with a girl, and then sleeping with a girl when he has a thing with Masumi), which is why it’s bothering me in this series.

If I’m going to tell you why I like this series, however, it’s for 2 reasons:

It’s about getting a second chance, a topic I love.

The sex (laser-focused horny Ritsu is my favorite Ritsu).

Check Out (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Biphobia, cheating, lazy writing, etc.

(It should be mentioned that I’ve read some comments about some issues involving the company behind this series. I haven’t dug deeper into this so I don’t really know if there’s any substance to the comments I’ve read (like official statements from the company or the other people involved, etc.). But I’m putting this out there in case this might be a potential issue for you (even though I’ve already told you that I don’t recommend you watch any of these because they’re all trashy).)

When I first checked this out at the beginning of this year, this series seemed to have created a storm of bad comments and reviews on MDL since it first came out. So, obviously, I needed to watch it because my taste is trashy.

And, you know what? I loved it!

Besides having the bi character depicted as a cheater (again, the use of this biphobic stereotype is so fucking annoying) and the sporadic clunky and stale scenes, I loved this series because:

It’s about second chances. As I mentioned before, I love that topic.

Best (the actor playing Daonuea) is the best in this series. There’s just something about him that grabs my attention every time. He has me in a similarly tight chokehold as Mew.

There’s sex (and my horny ass needs it).

But, it’s also trash, so don’t watch it.

Pit Babe (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Domestic violence, non-consensual, SA, age gap, etc.

This became popular. Really popular. I saw people comment about it everywhere. And usually, when stuff becomes popular, it’s more than likely reduced to trash quality by the general public. So, obviously, I had to watch it.

Did I end up loving it? Yes.

Honestly, the biggest issue this series had for me was the whole omegaverse thing (this was a new thing for me because I don’t come from an erotic fiction background, my head was rather stuck in fantasy fiction). And, from my limited understanding of this, they didn’t seem to fully commit to the omegaverse thing in Pit Babe, which was unfortunate.

The racing was also so-so for me, which hurt my soul because I usually love racing (cars, mcs, boats, etc.).

What I did like, however, was:

The chemistry between Pete and Kenta (and I’m so sad I only got crumbs of this).

Pavel (the actor playing Babe). I would watch and listen to him recite product placement scripts for toothpaste all day long.

The sex, especially the scene with Babe and Charlie in ep. 9 (even though it was mixed with clips from the racing) and Jeff and Alan’s scene in ep. 13 (because it was sensual, if we ignore the music).

The neon lights (have I mentioned that I’m a slut for neon lights?). I mean, just look at this:

I can watch that pinkish light all day long, even though Babe and Charlie are trying to distract me. (Especially Pavel!)

Dead Friend Forever (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Grooming, bullying, suicide & suicide attempts, etc.

Besides the issues listed above, this also suffered from lazy writing at the end. BUT, I fucking loved DFF anyway.

I never expected to love this series because it’s just a bunch of teenagers stuck at a house in the woods. How interesting could that be? Turns out, very.

DFF wasn’t perfect (perfection doesn’t exist anyway), but what I loved about it was:

The morally ambiguous characters.

The revenge plot.

The poetic justice.

The questioning of what was real vs hallucination.

The visually stunning shots.

The mask!

And Tan’s mask!

The beheading scene.

I could go on, but you get the point. I just love this piece of trash.

But, please, don’t watch it. You will suffer from brain rot. Trust me.

I, however, am currently rewatching this because I choose the brain rot. And my taste is trashy, remember? Or, perhaps I just love watching chaos unfold…

HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, age gap, tragic ending, etc.

Everyone and their aunt and even their dog have an issue with the ending of this one. And it’s understandable.

I don’t necessarily like or dislike the ending. Obviously, the bury your gays trope is tragic in itself, and, tragically, it’s still being used. That’s why I couldn’t find myself liking the ending, even though I don’t mind tragic endings. (Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite classics, which people tend to forget is a tragedy and not a romance, btw, but I digress…)

At the same time, though, this series made me cry for a whole episode before tragedy struck because I could feel it. And you have no idea how obsessed I get about shit that makes me cry (since I’m an ice queen).

(Another side note: one of my favorite BLs is Once Again, which made me bawl throughout the whole series. It’s not on this list because it’s neither trashy nor bad, but it’s still one of my favorites because it broke me in the best ways. But, anyway…)

The best part of this series from beginning to end was the other couple, at least for me. This couple is the one with the age gap (which, again, doesn’t bother me) and I fucking love them! One, because Wilson Liu (the actor playing Bo Xiang) is such a gem. Second, because their first time was such a spur-of-the-moment thing fueled by a desire that went from 0-100kph in less time than a Ferrari would. And I loved it (just as much as the squeezing of boobs from behind, which, for some reason, appeals to me).

Also, the twins are so pretty it’s annoying.

Do I recommend it, though? No, because I don’t have time to respond to the clap back I’ll get when you come to the end.

HIStory 4: Close to You (Taiwan)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, obsession, age gap, stepbrothers becoming lovers, etc.

This one has some problems (especially the relationship between Yong Jie and Xing Si), but I love both the series and its problems (yes, I’m trash). You could say that I’m as obsessed with this series as Yong Jie is with Xing Si. Would I get this series drunk and fuck the living daylights out of it? No. But I would watch it once every 3 months or so. Oh, wait… I already do that. Because I’m trash.

What do I love so much about this series (other than what I mentioned above):

It’s from Taiwan.

Li Cheng is ridiculous, which is exactly why I love him.

Every time I rewatch it, it gets funnier.

The chemistry between Li Cheng and Teng Teng is amazing.

As well as the chemistry between Yong Jie and Xing Si.

The kissing is just as amazing.

The main fujoshi girl, Mei Fang, is so cute I can’t handle her.

And the bathroom scene! In that lighting! It’s iconic!

I don’t care what anyone else says. This is fucking gold to me. But, then again, my taste is trash. So, don’t listen to me.

KinnPorsche (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Dubious consent, SA, torture, Stockholm syndrome-ish, etc.

This is some next-level trash, and I fucking love it.

Two of the major relationships in this series (Kinn & Porsche and Vegas & Pete) are problematic at some point. Especially Vegas and Pete who have this whole captor/captive, torture, BDSM-ish type relationship. Of course, I love Vegas and Pete because my taste is super trashy (yes, it’s a me-problem, but I don’t force my taste on other people, so, for the love of all that is holy, don’t watch this!).

Other reasons I love this series and rewatch it from time to time:

It’s visually stunning! The cinematography is amazing. As I mentioned before, I’m a visual artist, so this is a very valid reason for me to watch it again and again. And again.

The neon lights.

The whole mafia thing.

The sex (because my horny ass needs it).

Playboyy (Thailand)

Issues/TW: SA, homophobia, suicide, etc.

I was debating whether or not to add this to my list solely based on the ending. However, up until that point, I really liked it.

The fact that every episode starts with a whole ass list of trigger warnings tells me this is my shit. And it was.

At times, it was so bad that it was good (until the ending, which was just so bad it was bad). The things I liked were:

The mystery.

Win (who played Nuth). His acting was great.

The chemistry between Nuth and Phop.

The tattooed daddy that’s Aob and his chemistry with Puen (there’s also an age gap here, btw, but as I’ve mentioned before, it’s fine by me as long as it’s legal).

The weird ass sex scenes (and the underwear).

And the not so weird ass sex scenes (like the ones between Aob and Puen and the ones between Nuth and Phop).

But, this series is trashy. Keep as far away from it as possible. If you still decide to dip in, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Red Wine in the Dark Night (Thailand)

Issues/TW: Obsession, blood, human blood bags, etc.

This is a queer film that’s BL-ish with some dark themes. Mainly, it’s about how far Wine would go to help the person he’s fallen for (or become attached to).

What I loved about this film was:

Fluke (who plays Wine). He’s such a great actor and I love him in everything he does.

Wine who is so desperate to love someone and be loved that he ends up doing some weird shit.

The darker and sadder vibe, which I love.

Irresistible Love 1 and Irresistible Love 2 (China)

(This is also called Uncontrolled Love.) 

Issues/TW: Obsession, homophobia, codependency, adoptive brothers becoming lovers, etc.

This is another queer film (in two parts) that is more BL-ish than the films I’m getting into below.

This depicts a weird relationship dynamic between Xie Yan and Shu Nian where Shu Nian was basically adopted into the family to become Xie Yan’s friend/babysitter/lackey. This is some weird ass shit, and I love weird ass shit so I really enjoyed this rare, uncensored, gem from China.

But, it’s also trashy. So, don’t watch it.

The next couple of films I’ll mention are (obviously) trashy, but also complex and deep (which is why I love them).

One Summer Night (South Korea)

Issues/TW: Obsession, dependency, oppression, etc.

This is a low-budget film from 2016 (so, production-wise, it’s definitely nothing like the usual stuff from South Korea you can watch on Netflix), but I love it.

It’s gritty, it’s raw, it’s explicit (an emphasis on explicit because you’ll see dicks), it deals with being a North Korean defector but ending up in an impoverished situation in South Korea, and it ends with a dubious ending you can interpret in different ways.

This is definitely not for the general QL viewers who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

And it's trashy. So, don’t watch it.

Dangerous Drugs of Sex (Japan)

Issues/TW: All the trigger warnings! Seriously. I feel like it’s better to say that so you’ll look up the TWs for yourself (if you choose to watch this, which I'm asking you not to) rather than me mentioning a few and forgetting others.

With this film, what others see are all the trigger warnings (and, yes, I see them too, they’re fucking obvious). However, I can see beyond that and watch it for what it is at the core: Two characters dealing with incredible grief.

Grief is a topic that often affects me and I can relate to it because I’ve had to deal with a lot of grief in my relatively short life. Watching a film like this where grief pushes the characters to their very limits will (often) get a special place in my heart, especially if done well. And it’s done very well in this film.

Do I condone the characters’ behaviors? No (especially not Yoden Ryoji’s). But I do understand that grief can send you over the edge (and in some cases throw you off the edge) because I’ve experienced it. I do understand that grief can cause you to make horrible decisions because I’ve done it (though, not this extreme). I do understand that grief can be self-destructive because I’ve been there. This film shows it all. That’s why I love it so much.

Do I recommend you watch this, tough? No. Don’t do it. This is not for everyone. It’s definitely not for those who watch QLs for the cutesy stuff.

But it is for me because I love trash. Especially good trash. And this is the best trash I’ve ever seen when it comes to gay films.

Anything by Scud Cheng

Lastly, I want to mention any film by Scud Cheng because…

And I’m an artist so art means everything to me.

Cheng is a screenwriter and director from Hong Kong. His films, the ones I’ve seen, are gritty, nude, and real. They are more on the art side than the others I’ve listed above, which is why they have a special place in my heart.

They’re also deep and explore themes like introspection (are we doing things because we believe they’re the right thing to do, or because external forces have “brainwashed” us to believe they’re the normal thing to do?), the porn industry and how it exploits young and queer men, death, politics, and love, to name a few.

These are not for the average QL watcher. They’re not for the faint of heart. They’re not for those who want an entertaining watch.

These films require multiple viewings. I’ve watched some once, some twice, and some more times, and I still find new themes and meanings woven into the stories. So, they’re complex and deep.

But, don’t watch them because I know you’ll come at me later. So, to spare us both the time and energy it would take to argue about this shit, just don’t watch any of it.

Now, if you still want to ask me for recommendations after all that, don't tell me I didn't warn you!

[kustas]

Do you have reccs for "ugly" art (manga, comics, movie, etc.)? Thanks for the Tekkon recs btw I really liked it

That really depends on your own personal media landscape and what your definition of "ugly" is! As a random example, I've seen many people call ONE's art ugly because of the wobbly linework when I think it's lovely. Ugly could also mean something a bit shocking/crass in its themes. Etc, etc... I'm going to go with the definition of "something that's a bit jarring to look at or go through" here :)

Disclaimer: a lot of these tackle sensitive topics, sometimes for fun and not always tastefully. If there's themes you really can't handle in media, do your research before looking into them.

Manga

I keep recommending yes because it rules but Dorohedoro and its scratchy messy art and gore galore. talking about the manga exclusively here the anime is too polished for my taste

God's Child (Kami no Kodomo): tbh this one is for the art only I hated the writing. very gruesome & unique looking short story

I hesitate to recommend this one because it's edgy as hell but I shan't lie I had a lot of fun with Hellsing. it's "bad" in the same areas as something like berserk but unlike that one it does not take itself seriously

if you liked Tekkon i strongly suggest trying out more stuff by its author (saying this with immense biais). the most ugly/messy thing i've read of his, which isn't a lot because i find his work very delicate, is No. 5 which i would less describe as "good" than "very compelling to me". i also recommend this wonderful essay tearing it down

Comics (non JP)

FLEEP: a short story about a man who wakes up in a phone cabin seemingly encased in concrete. one of the comics i always recommend for its length and storytelling. (link leads to the artist's website where you can read it for free!)

The Astonishing Exploits Of Lucien Brindavoine: a young artist gets drafted in the first world war and goes through a series of almost supernatural adventures. beyond the adventure book aspect, a harsh criticism of nationalism/patriotism that's still awfully relevant

Animation

Ruben Brandt: Collector: a psychiatrist suffers from strange art related nightmares ruining his life. his clients, a bunch of high profile criminals, decide to help him fight off his demons by organizing one long vacation where they steal every painting involved. extremely unique visually, a fun heist movie with thriller elements.

Junk Head: goofy post apocalyptic movie about a man on a quest to save, who keeps losing sight his goal because cartoony violence episodes have his head tumble into new lows, literally. this is, perhaps, one of my favorite animated films ever, it's earnest and fun and lovingly crafted. very unique of a watch

The Apostle: freshly escaped from prison, a thief is on a mission to find treasure hidden by his old cellmate, and finds himself stuck in an ancient village who's strange looking elderly inhabitants are way too insistent on his stay. classic spooky folktale with its millennial curses and foreboding warnings, it's also a nice peek into the culture of Galicia and old world medieval weirdass catholicism. you can buy a DVD on their website

MKFZ: dumb as hell high adrenaline animated B movie with excellent animation. there's a plot about alien living undercover in fantasy california but you don't watch this kind of film for the plot. fair warning this is adapted from a french comic so of course, it's crass and racist

Blow to the Head - Lightning bolt: awesome music video (YT link)(warning for flashing/strobing lights if you're sensitive to that!)

Canon Fodder: from the Memories omnibus film. little slice of the life of a fantasy war obsessed industrial nation

with its new movie on the horizon, it's a great time to get into Mononoke, despite traditionally pretty visuals its got a unique style and gets pretty offputting

Live action cinema

7:35 in the morning: short film about the fear in improvised musical numbers where you don't expect any. it's on youtube in bad quality

The Draughtsman's Contract: an artist is hired by a Lady to draw several vistas of her house, in exchange for money, good drawing condition, and the Lady. follows a good hour of cunts in powdery wigs being awful to each other for their own gain. if you're into dark humor it's a good test, otherwise it has a really satisfying murder mystery to follow too.

Three Kings: during the gulf war, a group of US soldiers decide to steal Hussein's gold for themselves under the mighty standard of kuwait's loot repatriation. extremely caustic take on good ol murican international politics. i was shocked at how far it goes and it's express, low budget treatment which i did not expect from a hollywood film. the movie tires itself fast and becomes less good in its second half but the it's opening acts are interesting

Delicatessen: a sliver of humanity survives in an old timey stone building in the middle of nothingness on top of a functional butcher's shop. gossip follows the arrival of a new roommate. how does one even maintain a butchery in a no man's land? weird film with a unique(ly goofy) take on the post apocalyptic genre

Other

For traditional artists, I like the works of Beksinski (<3), Schiele, Giger. For modern artists Oleg Vdovenko (heavy gore warning for that one), Jeff Simpson

I'm less a fan of the MV and live performances they got infamous for than their music proper but I really like the band Cardiacs, who's judged by many of my friends to be extremely hard to get into lol.

[la-merlaison]

Louis XIII and his cooking adventures 🍴🥞

When it comes to our Louis XIII cult, I often refer to the king's iconic omelettes, but what about his other stuff? For example, he really loved sweets (like beignets or jams), but could he also cook them? The answer is YES, and that's not even all yet!

Louis was a curious child who's head was already filled with various interests and cooking became one of them when he was only ten years old at the time (which is quite unusual for a king). First ever case of the king cooking was recorded on february 11th of 1611, when he was preparing milk soups for the Duchess of Guise / Catherine of Cleves. So milk soup, most likely, could be Louis' very first dish made by himself!

Of course many kids have a sweet tooth and our precious omelette king was not an exception which I guess is why he started to learn how to cook mostly from recipes of sweets. Also, take a shot every time I say "sweets" or "cooking" (don't..) 🕊️

So, among 17th century royal sw- *ahem* DESSERTS we had in our menu – a jam, quince jelly, beignets (basically french donuts) and marzipans. In a well-known, among many of y'all Louis stalkers, journal of his doctor Jean Héroard I found some clear evidence of Louis XIII cooking some of these himself, so here it is feat. me periodically panicking over my own translation because my half-french friend is too busy atm and I don’t wanna bother them:

June 6th, 1611 — «He walks through the corridor from the study to the paneled gallery where he had an oven for making jams, he is amused to see how it's done.» I know it's not exactly him cooking, but I just wanted to leave it here :")

October 15th, 1612 — «Madame comes to see him; he has fun making jam with Mademoiselle de Vendôme»

January 29th, 1613 — «He often has fun making almond milk and marzipans at Madame's house.»

March 6th, 1615 — «It was very cold; he goes to the kitchen, makes omelettes, beignets, fried eggs; it was he who made them and ate a little of that he tasted.» Pretty sure the last few words could be translated better because it's always rather my terrible french or a little confusing way of Héroard's writing, so feel free to correct me.

February 3rd, 1616 — «He is preparing a small snack of dry jam for the queen, who must come to him at two o'clock. After going back to bed, he happily forms various battalions of his little silver men.»

February 5th, 1622 — «He leaves Saint-Germain, goes to Pontoise, where he enjoys making and eating beignets; while dining at Cormeille, he suddenly goes to the goblet in which he makes little cream puffs.» The original text says «petits choux au lait» and I have no idea what could that exactly be, but it seems like some sort of little éclair-like buns made of milk? Little cream puffs?? Maybe by «choux au lait» Jean meant «choux à la crème» which were invented back in 1540 in France.

I know you've been waiting for the quince jelly too, but unfortunately I couldn't find anything about the jelly :c Though, judging by what we've got here It's still quite possible Louis could cook quince jelly as well, hmm... Anyways, if you know something I don't know of the jelly mystery, hit me up!

In the future, this great love for desserts will be inherited by his son Philippe I, Duke of Orléans (brother of Louis XIV), who is also a very interesting character in history!!

In conclusion I must say that Louis not only had a sweet tooth, but also a big love for trying out different things, all this curiosity and pure excitement, even when it comes to something so simple and familiar like food, will never ever stop to fascinate me :"D

Btw speaking about Louis 'trying out different things', I of course still have a lot to share on this as well! Stay tuned and have a good day/night 💘💘💘

[duckwithablog]

May I request a wukong x reader who has insomnia

Sure thing! I myself don't have insomnia, so if I get some things wrong, someone tell me! I don't like spreading misinformation about stuff like that

Wukong x reader with insomnia

Okay so I know this is going to sound weird, but literally when you first told him about your insomnia, he immediately asked if it was because of his loud ass snoring

This is assuming you guys both sleep in the same room btw!! But when you say that it isn't (though it kind of does bother you a tiny bit) he starts looking up ways on how to help you deal with your insomnia

Insomnia is mostly caused because of one's lifestyle, or something that's making the person have a messed up sleep schedule, so once he realizes that he is going to demand that you take a vacation

He does it very subtly though. Like he keeps dropping hints here and there for you to take a vacation, or at the very least take some breaks

He whines that you aren't paying enough attention to him and forcibly removes you from your work and cuddles you in your bed

You literally can't fight him, he is so much stronger than you

Just give in, he gives the best cuddles anyways

Full on gives you a strict bedtime and wake time you gotta keep consistent with. If he finds that out you're one minute late, he is at your side IMMEDIATELY

Becomes your new exercise coach. You guys jog together and do some basic exercises early in the morning. If you ever complain about it he'll just smile and tell you to keep on going because you're doing such a great job right now and it would be a shame to just stop!!

Tries his best to help you limit your naps. Which is hard for him because he LOVES afternoon naps with you. He sucks it up though, because he really wants you to be healthy

Forbids you in taking coffee/alcohol. Instead he insists that you start drinking some tea instead. He won't force you to, but it's a healthier alternative and could help you greatly with your insomnia

If you end up liking the tea, he'll get you a whole ass bag of it. Don't ask where it's from.

He goes to Sandy and asks for some tea recommendations to help with sleep. It ends up working really well, and it tastes great too!

He doesn't know much about mortal things like this, so he tries really hard to help you with it. He's searching the internet for remedies and asking MK and the gang for help. Wukong even once considered using some mystical substance to help you, but he puts that on the back burner for now, because he wants to learn more natural ways to help you than resorting to that

Wukong really does love you and can be a bit overbearing during these. If you tell him to tone it down he will, but he still tries to help you.

You're his partner! You deserve a good nights sleep!!

Seriously though, if you still have insomnia after all this, he's throwing hands with any and all dream gods

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked this!! A bit shorter than the other things I wrote, but this was super fun to write!!

[fairycosmos]

Oh boy, things are extremely rough atm. Can you recommend any healthy coping mechanisms? I literally don’t know a single one that works for me except for self destruction and being on my phone until I don’t feel anything anymore. And apparently that’s not what we’re supposed to do when we’re sad

ok so unfortunately all of my healthy coping mechanisms only half work for me and it's a total gamble whether or not they're going to on any given day. and none of them ever cure my mental illness which is annoying. like they're not fail-proof solutions and a lot of the time they're simply frustrating in fact it often feels laughable to even try them. a walk is not going to make any of this better. but consistency DOES strengthen your coping skills like a weak muscle. like even after 3 days of practicing them i'm like Ok well i feel like shit but i survived without hurting myself and that was the whole point. not a cure but a tool. ok i'm just going to list them because otherwise, i will ramble forever. btw it's ok to do like, even half of one of these per day. there's no need to overwhelm yourself at all :) coping is coping.

meditation - it sounds and feels like bullshit but i follow this youtube called great meditation and they upload 10 min guided meditation sessions and they have truly gotten me through a lot of low moments at this point. sometimes i feel much better after and sometimes i barely notice a difference but the point is i've sat and breathed for a bit

journaling - i thought i needed some sort of mental health diary for this but then i just opened a google doc and followed these mental health journal prompts ( just one every other day, nothing overwhelming, and no pressure to write a lot or to write anything in particular) and it helped me organise my thoughts and notice the patterns i was/am locking myself into. there's also trauma processing prompts online if that is what you're after.

free writing - again just opening a word doc but this time you just write without thinking literally letting go and putting down whatever words your fingers type - no judgement no curation no performance no expectations.

submerging my face in cold water, holding ice cubs - good for grounding.

crying my eyes out, purposefully listening to sad songs or watching sad movies in order to do so - cleansing, painful, tires you out and can make you feel renewed briefly.

breathwork - again there's some great youtube vids for this. i do this 20 min nervous system reset somewhat often, but there's shorter ones that are also very effective. box breathing also helps if you just need a simple go to - breathe in for 4, hold for 4, our for 4.

lie down on a hard surface or the floor with your back straight - another grounding thing. to occupy your mind during this you can name 5 things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one you can taste.

pat your arms, legs, stomach, head, chest gently and breathe deeply - again it can be grounding.

watch trail cam vids of cute animals, use the wikipedia page generator to read up on smth you've never really thought about before, download duolingo and start learning a language. not to become fluent just to get your mind out of the place it's in, even for 5 minutes.

literally just move around especially outside - HATEEE to say it but stretching on your bedroom floor, going for a walk, following an exercise video etc - it can really help you feel a bit less stale and myopic. if it's too much, opening a window is a good start. or simply standing outside your house for 2 minutes and going back in. the air will feel good.

make sure all your bases are covered - have you eaten, have you slept, have you showered, have you talked to someone in the last few days, are you hydrated? if not, make a small move towards doing one of those things. feeling like crap physically only compounds how crap you feel mentally and so the cycle perpetuates.

scream, punch/throw pillows, snap pencils, stab at paper with pens.

affirmations - i'm trying to build a list of ones that resonate with me specifically because a lot of them don't LOL. but there's a lot of good resources online for this. one of my favorite current ones is: doing a little is better than doing nothing. a job half done is better than a job not done at all.

do something creative - it's not about being an artistic genius it's about doing something tangible with your hands and getting out of your head and using the space in your brain to focus on something that doesn't feel doomed. drawing, singing, cooking, playing an instrument, writing, whatever you want. you don't have to have done it before. you can just do it.

talk to someone you trust/care about, let them in even a tiny bit. it's ok to verbalise these things. give them a fair chance to be there for you the way you'd want to be there for them. i know it's hard, all of this is, but it's not impossible. also, look for any communal resources you can find - support groups, local therapists who may offer sliding scale prices that are affordable. it all sucks but it's something.

will add more when/if any come to mind. i'm sorry you're feeling like this and i sincerely hope it all becomes a bit lighter for you soon. sending so much love. x

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

i'd love to come on here once again to geek out about Candela's great costume storytelling especially with watches because i loved Sean's wristwatch an unreasonable amount. And they done did it again, with the whole circle!

First of all, Imari/Malcolm wears his watch on his dominant hand, I'm assuming because on the other side the prosthetic would be in the way. But as someone who wears watches near compulsively, let me tell you: they can get in the way in physical activity, in a way that is at best distracting and at worst very painful, and at least enough so that wearing one is a purposeful trade-off for a soldier. Like, he decided he needed a watch badly enough to risk injury on his one good hand every time he punches someone. Something something habits of trench soldiers

But it's a nice watch, meaning either he got it from his family or he spent serious money on it after they cut him off (favour the latter because it looks very non-battered, unlike Sean's which looked like he definitely had it since the war). (Actually all of Malcolm's costume looks suspiciously pristine, I hope it'll come into play but if not it looks very sharp and I'm here for it.)

Then there's the doctor, whose pocket watch is not a status symbol. He doesn't carry it visibly and the chain is completely unadorned, bog-standard silver chain (probably not even real silver). That watch can be old, it can be cheap, it doesn't matter so long as it's reliable and has a second hand and isn't on his wrist for hygiene reasons. Because in a time where you don't have ecgs and you don't have oximetres and bp gauge isn't readily available, you have pulse, and you need a fucking indestructible watch to be a doctor under pressure in that world.

I thought Edgar's costume was a bit underwhelming initially, but turns out it's on purpose! It's all just what he hides some kind of scar or deformity under. With how much Alex stressed how much this man likes his sleeves, I was like oh that's INFORMATION. Because a surgeon who likes his sleeves down??? Absolute hygiene nightmare. Contamination 101. And Edgar seems a very fastidious doctor who wouldn't risk his patients' chances lightly, (and opted for pocket watch over wrist watch like a good doctor should btw) so again. That's a choice. Also having a dangly thing around your neck around less than lucid patients is a bad idea generally and he'd know that but chose it anyway (maybe because this look has a higher collar than you'd wear with a regular necktie?) (or because medical personnel would consider this but a costume designer might not, either way it works!). His clothes barely function for his profession or personality except for the watch (and the glasses), it's so interesting I love it here

Leo. Whose whole look is giving "has Money and Taste and wants to scream about it". Patterns on patterns in the most lavishly Victorian way, with The Most tie pin of all time. Fruity and fashionable. Here's the two things I'd expect this man to have above all else: rings, and a fancy, fancy very visible pocket watch.

He has neither. For the rings, let me briefly put on my tinfoil hat and say this is foreshadowing some kind of secret third life this guy is leading - because they went out of their way with make-up and clothes to make this man look soft and dainty and nonthreatening and then didn't do a single thing to give him the hands of the idle rich, and that feels deliberate. (Maybe it's just subtly hinting at his secret second life, the Candela work; or a less-than-rich background, and that's all it is. Maybe Taliesin doesn't like wearing rings. Still fun.)

But the watch! Where's the watch? He's a journalist, and a member of high-ish society! He should concern himself with time! It's not unimportant when things happen. It's not unimportant when he shows up somewhere. Trapp not only had a watch but was actively looking at it in his character art!

But this is a man who makes a point of running around in loungewear, looking like a gentleman who's just taking breakfast at home, on a five-day sea voyage. Comfort and image over practicality or even warmth. And a man who lies about his age to the narrator. There's some very purposeful ignoring going on here. Either he resents the passage of time or he's trying not to count down the days until some other shoe drops, but I feel like this guy very much decided he doesn't want to carry a reminder of time around with him.

[Retrospective edit: okay but was I kinda right about the conspicuous absence of watches on Leo's costume or what]

So it took me a long time to realise this because it's very small and in a very strange place, but the small round ornament on her lapel? It's a watch!

I'm pretty sure this is here because it looks cool, but let's poke at it with a stick for funsies.

They gave Grimoria a cute little watch right over her heart that she cannot look at herself. I can't figure out what that means but there's something here. Something about how young she is and yet how much old stuff is working through her - how the others can glean some truth about reality and time through her, maybe? How she's outside of time in a very different way from Leo, not by choice but by the perspective she was put in? It's different, in any case, from the norm and from the more "normal"-coded characters in the circle, and it feels like it's foreshadowing some kind of doom.

Long story short, their costumes are so much fun and as the granddaughter of a certified mechanical watch nutter, I deeply appreciate all the cool watch details I'm getting. This is just a treasure trove of visual/environmental storytelling and it's delightful.

[scoobydoodean]

the reaction to that quiz was very funny. definitely a 'how fake dean!girls look when real dean!girls come at them' moment. never seen so many people start frothing at the mouth over a harmless joke

context

Tbh my perception of the uquiz was that it mainly upset deancrit casgirls, though the deangirls who follow them certainly weren't happy with me either. Granted, I didn't take very much care not to offend people when I posted the uquiz, because I didn't expect it to spread (I intended it for a handful of mutuals and followers). But literally the questions were like, True or False?

Dean is not largely responsible for Sam and Cas's emotional issues.

Dean desires to control everyone in his life. It's a defining facet of his character.

People should have laughed at Dean's jokes more.

Dean is the better brother.

The finale is bad.

And multiple replies in the notes were like, "I just love nuance!" Ah yes... the extreme "nuance" to Dean being largely responsible for two other adults problems and choices... his adult baby children who need to suckle at his nursing tits. <<<< This sort of "mean" language from me developed... almost immediately after the uquiz drama cooled off because I kept seeing even more condescension being hurled at Deangirls on their blogs and at that point had a lot more first-hand experience with the underlying arrogance and mean-spirited desperation for control behind it. I simply had enough.

Literally I had a meme blog at the time I posted that uquiz (well—still do but don't use it much) with about 40 times the followers I had on this account when I posted that quiz in April, and I used my meme account for years to make fun of Sam, Dean, Cas, and a variety of other characters, and my jokes weren't always super nice. People got mad at me sometimes, but never more than two or three at a time. Never once over years of using that blog to post memes every single day (while the show was airing too—so more traffic) did I get a reaction even remotely like the reaction that uquiz got and it is endlessly funny.

I returned here in early 2023 (after being mostly absent in 2022) seeing a lot of very odd things. For one, people were freely interacting with each other more, which I thought was great (I remembered an spnblr characterized by extremely insular attitudes). However, within the notes of some of the posts that I and others were writing, I noticed a thinly-veiled message from certain camps responding: "I don't like this post. I don't like what you said, and neither do my friends, and you should watch what you say."

It was honestly pretty transparent in a few different cases despite, often enough, a friendly mask. I was told very quickly, for example, that discussing Emma as if she was actually Dean's daughter (she quite literally was) is considered old and tired and no one wanted to hear it (this was on a post Emma's parentage had... almost nothing to do with btw, and that more largely, was about hypocrisy in deancrit circles over Dean committing acts of violence against children—and that post had done well, so clearly other people were actually fine with it). Tbh, it felt like, covered by a "friendly", "joking" exterior—someone was putting an arm around my shoulder as I entered a new environment and telling me "the way things are" and how I ought to assimilate.

I was told that making memes pointing out the gigantic blinders people spewing deancrit were wearing was in bad taste, because Dean is "popular", therefore it makes sense that he receives the most criticism (Thor voice: does it really?) and saw other posts stating the same. I saw multiple posts where people said they were "tired" of people talking about Dean... not a specific take on Dean—but Dean as a whole—when absolutely no one was preventing them from controlling what they saw on their own dash, unfollowing accounts that largely discussed characters they didn't want to talk about, or filtering whatever names they wanted—no—that wasn't good enough—they needed to control what other people were posting, and make them stop talking about Dean on their own blogs. They were literally trying to control how other people had fun in their own spaces.

At the same time, I was seeing someone I'd just begun following for a string of posts (and subsequent brigading that occurred over it) getting hounded for nothing more than posting a poll featuring events that canonically occur in Supernatural around the season 14 finale—facts that deancrits apparently found inconvenient enough to spew hate mail over for literal months. I saw multiple accounts I was newly following receive deeply condescending notes and mail from people who engaged with them in blatant bad faith and acted superior for it. I saw even completely harmless "fun" posts get notes from little groups of fans huddled together openly mocking the OP in tags for not sharing their clearly "superior" taste.

Meanwhile, deangirls, as far as I saw, were not engaging in this behavior back. They were endeavoring to be polite when people came onto their blogs to debate with them in condescending tones (and even make ridiculous claims about their personal morals). They weren't going on these people's blogs and talking down to them (as they shouldn't). They were having fun, engaging with people whose company they enjoyed, and deancrits apparently couldn't stand this. It suggested to me and reminded me... well—that deanfans have long been expected to be made of heel skin in fandom circles, to shoulder and accept absolutely any and all criticism of Dean, while samgirls and casgirls consistently tend to be made of tissue paper and can't handle the barest shred of criticism of their fave without having meltdowns (that can and do, in fact, sometimes include mass bullying and hate mail and suicide bait and death threats). The fact that my uquiz was somehow interpreted as "seething hatred" for Sam and Cas was fucking laughable.

I still won't go onto other people's pages or bring disk horse to them. In fact, I'm very protective of my personal dash and curate my experience as much as I can. But I did decide not to be made of heel skin anymore from my personal blog just so other people can be made of tissue paper. If that's received by some as me being mean, well—I'll take a page out of the deancrit playbook and say my feelings are largely their responsibility.

[orangechickenpillow]

Hello, fellow enjoyer of BG3/Prospect/Arcane/The Ghoul Boys/TAD/WWDITS/probably other things I've yet to discover because you clearly have stellar taste in media! ✨

I wanted to throw an idea at you that has been rotting my brain: TAD songs for BG3 characters.

"Inkpot Gods" simply IS Wyll and Karlach. "The Old Witch Sleep and The Good Man Grace" might seem the obvious choice for Astarion but I would like to make an argument that "Farewell Wanderlust" is even better. "The Horror and The Wild" is Karlach's all on her own. "Elsa's Song" is giving Gale for some reason? Unsure why.

Anyway, sorry for the random long-ish ask. But what do you think? :D

Ahhhh thank you so much. I've seen you in my notifs and am happy to report that we're officially best friends now <3

Thank you so much for throwing this idea at me holy shit???? I went back and listened to all three TAD albums specifically to answer this, so.... yeah, we're definitely best friends.

I'm loving what you've got so far -- Inkpot Gods works so perfectly for the Avernus duo, and honestly could be the theme song for bg3 in general. Jesus christ, what a song, am I right. Farewell wanderlust is sooooo Astarion I'm going to lose my mind about it I mean be totally normal. Also I feel like it fits Lae'zel really well too. I actually found that a lot of songs I liked for Astarion worked for Lae just as well. Interesting. Anyway, during my trillionth re-listen to the TAD albums here are the notes I took on my phone lmao:

Love Run for Wyll. The wholesome, strong, hopefulness this song radiates fits him so well. It's also really fucking romantic, and so is he.

I also think that Two Minutes is fitting for him. That whole vibe of an abandoned child, of someone who is so tired and beaten down by life but still manages to keep going despite it all. I really adore Wyll, and the more romantic TAD songs fit him perfectly.

I love Wild Blue Yonder for Karlach. It's silly but heartfelt, and so full of yearning. It has a light approach to life while still acknowledging how hard things can be, and that's just so Karlach. Also, "We don't know what's out there -- could be ghosts or monsters, or a robot vampire, I don't know" sounds like something she would say lol

You're so right about The Horror and the Wild. That's just. Karlach and Gortash. "Give me back my heart you wingless thing" are you fucking kidding me right now, I'm going to pull a Karlach and explode.

Also I think The Horror and the Wild fits Astarion equally well. I'll always yammer on about how Astarion and Karlach are two sides of the same coin, and this song is a great representation of that. "You passed your fingers through my hair and called me child -- witness me, old man, I am the wild" -- Astarion and Cazador. Please send help, I am ill over this and will not be recovering.

"Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring" Karlach. Astarion. Shadowheart. Lae'zel. Literally help me.

Blossoms for Gale. It's a very intense song, but it's also weary. It's strong but desperate, yet determined. I also think it fits him as the one who would be leading the group if Tav wasn't around. It's a somber and dramatic song, but it's ultimately fueled by tender love. Sound like anyone else we know?

Similarly to you pairing him with Elsa's Song (which I love btw), I think The Rockrose and the Thistle is VERY Gale (and, dare I say, bloodweave? The singer begging to die and the other person "sewing" them back together??? Hello?????) Just like the more romantic songs fit Wyll, the quieter, more subdued songs fit Gale. I think those songs really capture desperation in its most potent form, and Gale is kind of like the human version of that (sorry Gale)

Okay, New York Torch Song could be any of the ladies. Literally any of them. It's perfect. This one also makes me think of Karlach and Wyll.

I adore That Unwanted Animal for Astarion. The helplessness paired with the subtle sense of revenge and violence. The sexual tones throughout. The lack of romance.

I like The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace for Astarion, and I also really like it for Lae'zel. Her whole being raised by a cult thing really aligns with the vibe of the song -- being told that you're one thing and having to fight to be anything else, the desperation of feeling like you have no purpose. Fighting it all and coming out on top anyway. The steady increase in the intensity of the song representing getting your power back. It's so herrrrrr

King fits her well too. This song is so badass. I think it represents the soldier archetype well. It's cool, she's cool, it's perfect.

Pray makes me think of Shadowheart. Obviously the religious tone of the song fits her well, but also its pure spite. It's really giving "abandoned daughter" vibes, which is perfect for her. Also, "honey I'm no man, I'm what's left when children go to war" are you fucking kidding me.

Anywayyyyy, this was long, yikes. I have a lot of Thoughts as you can see. Thank you SO much for letting me yap about two of the things I love very much and might be obsessed with, who knows. I'll end by officially asking for your hand in marriage <3

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hello😘

im in desperate need of fic recommendations and you were the very first person I thought of to ask

I just finished reading a fic and it was so fucking good and I really really want to see what kinda long fics (like 30k+ words???) you've read and loved?

btw, i literally love ur writing so much 🤫🥰

Hey!

Aw, nice, I appreciate that my taste in fics is recommendation worthy. Also, thanks!

I'll go with stucky and evanstan fics/series because you didn't specify which aaand I happen to know good long fics for both

Stucky

"Song of the rolling earth" by the1918 (this series is 154,000 words and Incredible. I go back to it all. the. time. for the emotions and the smut)

"Bucky Barnes and His 1001 Fetishes (or at least a few of them)" by sarahyellow (this fic is 167,000 words and the smut is So So Good and Kinky. Some plot, not a ton (affectionate).)

"Give a Little, Take a Little" by notlucy (this series is 90,000 words of glorious kink exploration. Highly recommend.)

"like it's the only thing i'll ever do" by howdoyousleep (listen, listen, listen... this fic is by K and is 39,000 words of omegaverse goodness. What more do you need to know?)

"we are the things that we do for fun" Nonymos (this fic is 35,000 words and has tiny dom Steve (who's a pro dom) with big beefy sub Bucky. It's Great.)

"Innocent Until" by L1av (this fic is 136,000 words and comes with a yelled warning of READ THE TAGS. It's so so so so so so good but it contains Steve being on trial for murder... so, thread cautiously. It will make your mind do things, okay? Highly, highly recommend though.)

"you will always be my favorite form of loving" by thiccbuckybarnes (this fic is so close to the 30k cut-off... it's 28,000 words, super close and super good. In smut and regular plot.)

"Omega Services: Rut Assistant" by roe87 (I read this fic as the author was writing it and I looked forward to each new chapter so much! It's wild to think it's 175,000 words overall. It felt like it went by so fast!)

"Maybe we'll get it all (If we choose one night)" by sourwolphs (this fic is 69,000 words and great! Very much emotion and hella smut. My favorite haha.

Evanstan

"You Once Said if We Were Careful" by callmejude (this fic is 65,000 words and has SUCH GOOD sub Sebastian content when he's just learning about subbing, it comes with Heavy emotion and sub drop too though... be weary if that's not your think.)

"Like Sugar (Spell It Out)" by luninosity (I feel like I always recommend this series but I just can't help it, it's Everything I Want. Anyway. This series is 238,000 words and is full, full of beautiful smut and fluff and angst and everything. I can't say enough good things about it.)

"Ceramic" by bearception (okay, so this fic is actually under 30k, it's only 27,000 works BUT it's also so so good and so so full of sub Seb feels that hit me where I live.)

"we walk the sun" by Kellyscams and luninosity (for this 35,000 words series I have two words that are all you need to know: KITTEN SEBASTIAN)

"I Belong To You" by OrangeVanilla (this series is 42,000 words and has ex-pornstar Seb and lawyer Chris and I love the bratty, princess attitude Seb has in it lol)

Okay, I think that's all I got lol, I didn't even realize I knew so many longer fics! Goddamn. I hope you enjoy them!

[otrtbs]

hi!! first just wanted to say i love your fics so much; they're so lovely & i adore how you weave in art history (as a fellow art history gal) and can clearly feel your immense love for it within your words.

anyway! i caught up on winterlude (adore so so much btw), and i loved the mention of anna karenina (s/o it also being mentioned in ahb!) as it's one of my favorite books ever. which leads me to my question: what are your favorite books ever (fiction, nonfiction art history ones, etc.)? i also LOVE the goldfinch, so i think we'd have very similar taste <3 thanks for sharing your work with us !!!

hello!! hi!!! ahhh thank you so much for the sweet words!!! <333 :,))) it makes me so happy to hear that all my love for this subject translates!! bc i swear i could burst with it sometimes !!!

as for some of my favorite books!!

wuthering heights, pride and prejudice, anna karenina, as i lay dying, the bell jar, play it as it lays, what my mother and i don't talk about, and of course my all time favorite, the goldfinch!!!

art/art history wise though:

john berger's ways of seeing is up there for me! (if you only read one of the essays he's written let it be the third one which you can read here! and you can read the whole thing here!

i also just recently read a very good book called art monsters: unruly bodies in feminist art by lauren elkin which was a great read!!!

this dark country by rebecca birrell is also a good one, though kind of difficult to get into at the beginning.

and i can never speak highly enough of 7 days in the art world by sarah thornton

[mishasminion360]

Young Joel Miller x bakerOFC please, do whatever you want with it….

Where’s that Diego Luna dabble btw?? 👀😶‍🌫️

The Sweetest Thing

Pre-Outbreak Joel Miller x Baker fem!reader

Warnings: Fluff sweeter than buttercream frosting; one swear word; possibly a smidgen of angst at the end, if you reeeeally think about it.

Summary: All the cakes and pastries aren’t the sweetest thing you encounters in your bakery that day.

A/N: Oh, my sweet anon (and I totally know who you are 😝), thank you for this lovely request. I hope you enjoy the sweet result. P.S. Sorry about that Diego drabble. As you know, life got away from me. Way away.

Men always look so damned sheepish when the step into a bakery. It’s as if unless they have a gal on their arm with a sizable sweet tooth, there’s no good reason for them to be setting foot into such a place. Bakeries are too feminine; sugar and sweets are too girly, pastries are too dainty. Butcher shops? Now, that’s a man’s domain. Blood and guts and meat are manly things.

It’s an outdated belief you thought pop culture phenomena such as “The Great British Bake Off” would have put an end to. Boys wear pants, girls wear dresses. Men go to butchers, women go to bakers.

This guy is dismantling an age old stereotype, but sure looks nervous as hell doing it.

“‘Scuse me,” he drawls, approaching your counter with hands in his pockets. “I’m lookin’ to get a cake.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right place, partner.”

His brown eyes scan the assortment beneath the glass to the right of the counter. Cakes in all shapes, sizes, and designs.

“Looking for any kind of cake in particular? A certain flavor, I mean.”

“Well, what all have you got?” he asks, turning those eyes—a shade of brown as rich as chocolate ganache—on you.

“Pick your poison. I have the usual suspects—chocolate, vanilla, and marble—or some more adventurous flavors, such as lemon, raspberry, red velvet, banana, orange cream, cinnamon and spice. Et cetera, et cetera, and so on and so forth.”

He purses his lips in an impressed whistle.

“Well, I certainly hope they aren’t poisonous,” he chuckles. “But I’m not picky. What do you recommend?”

“That depends. What’s the occasion?”

“It’s, uh, a birthday,” he mumbles. “Could be the last if I fail to bring a cake home for my daughter. She’ll have my head.”

“Ah, so it’s the little lady’s special day, huh?”

“Actually, it’s mine,” he admits as a pretty pink hue fills his cheeks, as if it mortifies him to confess to turning another year older. “But the cake is mostly for my kid’s sake. I’m on a diet myself.”

“Life is much too short for diets,” you chuckle. “Now tell me, what does your girl like?”

“Well,” he shrugs. “This kid loves her peanut butter.”

“Noted. And what does her dad like?”

“Oh, I don’t….it’s like I said, about that diet and all—“

“And I said life’s too short for such a thing,” you reiterate. “Especially on birthdays. So, what does he like?”

He’s momentarily caught off guard by your abruptness, but it earns you a smile. And boy, it’s a smile you won’t forget anytime soon.

“The old man is partial to chocolate.”

“A gentleman with a taste for the classics. Nothing wrong with being a little old fashioned in the modern age.”

“Just plain old, I think you mean.”

“Not at all, but how old are we talking?”

“36.”

“Not old at all.”

He laughs at that, and you like his laugh just as much as his grin. “Tell that to my bones.”

“I think they heard me,” you say proudly. “I have a very commanding voice.”

“Certainly commanded my attention.”

“Now, I think it was more those flavors I listed that got your attention. Speaking of which.” You withdraw your notepad from your apron and jot down his order. “One peanut butter fudge cake should suit you both nicely.”

“Well, who doesn’t love Reece’s, right?”

You shoot him a look of feigned insult. If you were wearing pearls you’d clutch them for dramatic effect.

“With all due respect, sir, Reece’s is a peddler of cheap, manufactured candy-like substances. I am an artist.”

He clutches his chest in mock dismay. “I do beg your forgiveness, Picasso. I did not mean to offend, and I am humbled to be in the presence of such culinary greatness.”

“Let my cake do the humbling, won’t you?”

“I’d be honored to put ol’ Atkins on the back burner for your masterpiece.”

“That’s quite the compliment.” Now you’re the one blushing. “So, when do you need the Sistine Chapel by?”

“Well, I’m on site until 6. I can probably get here by 6:30. Is that okay?”

Hm. “On site”. Construction, maybe? Hardworking man. Manly man, but not. Man who loves cake. Man who loves his daughter. Ring finger sans ring, you can’t help but notice.

“I typically close at 5, but one of the perks of being the boss is that I can make my own hours. I don’t mind hanging around a bit longer. Especially to fill such an important order.”

“You’re sure?”

“Your kid will kill you if you don’t return with cake, right? I’d hate to hear about that grisly murder on the morning news. And as good as my desserts are they’re nothing to die for.”

“Let me be the judge of that,” he smirks. “I’m expecting to get humbled, remember.”

You agree that the bill will be settled upon his return. He jots his number down on a slip of paper, just in case you have any questions. You only have one and you ask it before he can step through the door.

“If this is a birthday cake then I’m going to give it the birthday flare. So, to whom shall I be wishing a happy 36th?”

He gives you that smile again. “It’s Joel.”

“Happy birthday, Joel.”

“It’s starting to feel like it, yeah.”

“So, 6:30?”

“On the dot. You got my number, so just call if you’ve got any questions.”

“I do this for a living. I think I’ve got it handled.”

“Right. Then….call if you’d like to talk about anything else.”

“Don’t forget about—“ Me, you want to say, but luckily you manage to shut that shit down before you live to regret it. “You’re cake.”

“As if I could,” he assures you, heading out the door. “Nothing short of the end of the world would keep me from coming back.”

And nothing short of the end of the world would prevent you from baking the best cake he’s had in all his 36 years.

And his daughter, too, of course. You hope a little peanut butter fudge will help make this a birthday neither of them would ever forget.

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