#which should help me get some more serotonin

[catiuskaa]

need you to [Lee] Know.

SUMMARY: minho loves you: to him, it’s as clear as water. Its only after he finds out that you’re starting to doubt it—he needs you to know just how much.

REQUESTED! here by an anonnie. I hope you like it, pookie, ‘cause I had fun doing this! <3

CW: slight hurt/comfort if you squint, but it’s just fluffy fluffy lino being really down bad and not knowing how to grasp it tbh which just gives me my serotonin dosis for the rest of the month lol

WC: 1.2k

A/N: also omfg kats posting two requests on the same day? that’s right baby, look at me go! 🤩🤩🤩

[🔅★🌼★🔅]

Minho was not the type to show his affection.

He comes off more like a shy kitten that slowly gets used to you, your sweet smell and how soft your touch feels, and then slowly opens up.

“But, uh… can I be real with you for a sec?”

It’s a feminine voice with a strong accent. He can hear it comming from your room, and the slight glitchiness of it makes it obvious that it’s a phone call set on speaker.

“Sure.” He can almost see you shrug, but he just closes the main door as soft as he can, pleading for the cats to stay silent for a little bit longer.

Minho can’t exactly place together why he’s overhearing your phone call. He knows who you’re calling, he can recognize Chan’s sister by her tone. But still, he keeps quiet, gently placing his bag down and silently taking his shoes off.

“I just— and don’t get me wrong, but, your boyfriend kinda seems… bored of you.”

What? Minho has to hold back a scoff, remaining as still as a statue next to the front door. He’s waiting for you to deny it.

“You think so?”

And then, he frowns, because you didn’t. Instead, your tone sounded hesitant. Dubious.

As if you weren’t sure if Minho loved you.

“You say he keeps cancelling your plans together. He has stopped making time for you. Like, girl, you can’t remember when was the last time he told you he loved you.”

Hannah pauses, and that only makes it worse, because it lets every word sink in.

“I uh, well. I ain’t gonna say that he should throw flowers at you every single second, but, uh, you know.”

He can only hear you groan loudly, almost picturing that cute motion you usually did when he meaningly teased you, taking your hair and covering your face with it.

“Can’t say anything for sure with him,” Hannah adds. “But, just by what you’re saying…”

Minho’s heart clenches tightly in his chest. He doesn’t want to keep hearing this... this nonsense. God, he loves you. And you… can’t see it? Frowning, he starts walking to your room, but his movements end in a halt, his hand just above the doorknob, threatening to grasp it and fully open the door.

“Girl, it’s gotta be late down there. Sorry this whole call was about me.” Your chuckle comes off slightly dry. “I’ll talk to you later, ‘kay? Go get some good sleep.” Your tone just screams how bad you’re feeling, and it just makes his chest swell with guilt that slowly creeps up his body.

Maybe he had been taking you for granted?

He opens the door as soon as you press the red button, sighing loudly after ending the call. When you see him, you jump in your place, startled by his presence, and you stand up awkwardly.

“Minho!” You say in a squirm. He can’t help but cringe slightly.

“No.” His tone sounds childish, like a petty toddler who didn’t want to eat the carrots in their lunch.

You frown slowly, the slightly wary grimace melting on your face, allowing a soft confusion to step in.

“No what?” You mutter.

He walks to you slowly, and grabs your hand, taking it to his chest, pressing it flat against his clothed skin, over his heart. You can feel his heartbeat, a not-too-slow rhythm: thump, thump, thump.

“Call me by a pet name. Any pet name.” He says, his tone equally firm and soft. “Call me by a pet name and say you love me.”

He’s serious, but god, so fucking nervous. His brain is slowly melting away because he’s so bad with words and he isn’t sure any action could be enough. He’s already blushing.

“I, huh… I love you, jagi.” You mumble, still confused.

And even if you don’t say it as fondly as always, or if your smile isn’t beaming like how it usually did, you can feel his heartbeat quickening.

“You can feel it, right?” His eyes are soft and worried.

Oh, God. You just know you’ve gotta be pouting. It’s hard to react with words, and the only thing you can fathom doing is linking your arms behind his nape and sinking your face on the crook of his neck.

“Min, I’m so sorry.”

“N-no, kitten.” He mumbles, hugging you tightly too. “I am the one who’s sorry.”

He breathes in, drowning in your soft fragrance. Home. It’s you, it’s warm, and he loves it.

He loves you.

So, he says it. He has to say it. He can’t not say it.

“I love you.”

And it feels so good to let it out that he chuckles. He has to say it again. “I love you.” And again. “God, I love you.” Just once more. “I love you so much.” He’s giggling like a fool, but he’s a fool in love, and that makes him blush even more. “I can’t not love you. Not loving you would turn everyday into Mondays. Like, I can get it tattoed if you want me to. I just. I love you so much that ‘I love you’ can’t even—.”

You move from his shoulder, now facing him, and you cradle his face, pulling him in a kiss that’s so sweet that threatens to give both of you type 1 diabetes.

“Y-you’re crying.” Minho mumbles, softly brushing the stray tears away with his thumb.

“It’s your fault, silly.” You sniff, giggling too. “How can you say stuff like that?”

Your heart is beating like crazy, the butterflies in your stomach are multiplying by seconds and in your cheeks glistens a bright and deep shade of pink.

You want to say it too. But in his own way.

So, you take his hand and settle it on your chest. Right above your heart.

It’s a rapid thump thump thump that Minho feels right away. He can’t help but smile widely.

“I super-mega-love you.” He teases, picking you up in between his arms.

You’re laughing, squirming in his hold.

“Lee Minho! Put me down!”

But he just grips your body tighter to his, and walking as if you weighted nothing, heading towards your bed, plopping you down there.

“Good girl.” He snickers, and you blush even further. Minho takes your chin tenderly and pecks your lips. For a moment, certain kind of idea flashes through his head, but he just kissed you again, following his previous thought.

He opens your closet with a toothy grin, and halfly eyes the window before picking up a random shirt, a grey hoodie that used to be his, a dark skirt and your thigh-high socks, going as far as to the suspenders for you.

He then turns to face you, his eyes glowing. He can’t wait to see you all dolled up. Minho feels like a teenager, and he loves it.

“You have twenty minutes.”

You blink at him, and you can’t help but smile, confused.

“I’m taking your cute ass to a date.”

It may not be an instant fix to the struggles to your relationship, but as you two walk down the beach, looking for colourful rocks that match each other’s eye colour, you know that he’s worth fighting for.

Regarding Minho, he happily hums to himself, eyes glued to your figure as you cackle and run in the beach, as you look behind you and giggle at the prints your boots leave in the humid sand.

He smiles, running towards you, tackling you and holding you in his arms.

He’s not letting go anytime soon.

~Kats, who always struggles to choose a picture for the fics because istg lino looks good in every single moment!!

[yuoimia]

DAY 7: A LITTLE SOMETHING ❅⋆⍋

summary: they can get a little overboard with gifts, especially for you.

characters: ayato, kaeya, wanderer, zhongli.

notes: gn! reader, last sentence in ayato’s is suggestive, wc: 120-200 per paragraph.

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ dreamy december event masterlist

ayato

If faced with the prospects of going on a little rendezvous to a market or enduring a lengthy cooking class with Ayato, you’d gladly risk the guarantee of waking up with an upset stomach.

At first, the answer to the choices seem almost obvious, you don’t even need to think twice before coming to a conclusion. Why would anyone face the risk of food poisoning in comparison to a harmless shopping trip?

You sincerely, from the bottom of your heart, are thankful and cherish every single one of the gifts Ayato never failed to starve you of, selected with the most detailed and precise of observations and preferences. Your workspaces are graced with the most refreshing pieces of decor, your bewitching collection of accessories is always the most elegant and entrancing, and your wardrobe, perhaps the most elaborative and extensive out of all, owns the most divine pieces of fabrics and fibres too substantial to comprehend.

Frankly, it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise when you tell Ayato to lower his budget, which, as he strongly believes, is a sacrifice towards his serotonin. Eventually, through trailing kisses, hasty promises and faltering sighs, you two finally come to an agreement.

kaeya

Kaeya earnestly explains, over and over, that can’t help it, that you should be placing the blame on the sellers for luring him yet again into purchasing. The harsh burden of having a generous soul, he sighs. Can’t you feel an ounce of pity for him? Besides, he truly can’t help that, “there were just so many things that reminded me of you.”

To be brutally honest, Kaeya’s only motive for these ceaseless piles of presents was purely out of self-indulgence. It was quite selfish, yes, but the pleasure didn’t derive from the shopping, it wasn’t to satisfy his spontaneous decision-making when it came to such matters, but rather the gleeful radiance shining from your face whenever he came home with something in hand. How you attempted to reserve yourself and not seem overly excited, and Kaeya delights that he can see right through you.

The only way to understand his strange way of thinking was to picture yourself in his shoes. Would you do the same if it promised such a reaction from Kaeya?

wanderer

Wanderer is the pure embodiment of the phrase, “actions speak louder than words.” Secrecy travels with every move he makes, every action he meticulously plans. It weaves into the reasoning of the most minuscule of tasks when it comes to you; he can’t refrain from it. Striving for perfection entrusts some sort of validation seeping into the ventricles of his heart, before pumping out avid determination, a desire to exceed after each result, one grander and more adoring than the last.

The gifts he pledges aren’t a mere reimbursement for his lack of sweet nothings or public hand-holding, they’re something much more sentimental with enigmatic depth, a beautifully tied bow unravelling cryptic messages that only sweeten as time ticks along. It’s summarised within a few careful judgements, courtesy of his impeccable ability to read your emotions, those gifts are, and will always make your smile a thousand times more genuine than any sugarcoated words or physical affection in the eyes of him and you.

zhongli

Working as a consultant at Wangsheng Funeral Parlor must bestow the blessing of generous income and time.

It’s the only explanation for this growing observation: the handy wallet somehow never running out of mora (though you admit, he can be quite forgetful of it), and the suggested galore of unlimited spare time, which certainly must be the reasoning behind why Zhongli can afford to obtain such bountiful amounts of precious treasures that always leave you breathless.

Quite often, his indulgence results in a slicing feeling of guilt, leaving you in a state of burrowing gloom, overthinking the matter until the idea is reduced to a singular strand of disregard. After all, the little trinkets are simply harmless expressions of love, even if they occasionally overflow your doorway.

[lukiechino]

Cardinal Broach

Spencer Reid x Reader

An unfinished wip I might continue if I get the inspiration back. Kinda based on the S13 E19, Ex Parte.

“Which color tells my mom I’m super-uber excited and not dreading having lunch with her?” I asked Spencer, showing him two outfits; one was a floral shirt paired with dark green pants and the other was a yellow and orange stripped pants with a white blouse. “Or should I go with my formal suit that I got for my friend’s wedding?”

Spencer locked up from his book on Edgar Allen Poe to examine the outfits with squinted eyes. “Well, if you want to appear excited, it’d be better to wear saturated, bright colors, since the brain’s pituitary and pineal glands are stimulated by light and that regulates more serotonin,” he said, knocking out the floral outfit. “But yellow can cause anxiety and shorts the temper of those looking at it.” So the other outfit was a no-go too.

“So the wedding suit?” I asked, tossing the outfits on a chair while I sat sown beside him with a sigh. “Getting ready to have lunch with my mom shouldn’t be this hard.”

“The wedding suit might make it appear you’re not being open or comfortable with your mom,” Spencer said. I groaned, before grabbing his arm and tugging him to the bedroom.

“C’mon, help me pick an outfit, Mr. Profiler.” Spencer put his book aside with a chuckle and let me pull him to my closet—stuffed full of bright patterned shirts and dresses.

“To start; what color should I wear?” I asked, sitting him down on the edge of the bed, in front of the closet.

“Orange or a bright teal would be good since Orange is the middle ground between yellow—which is a cheerful color—and red—which is an attentive color,” Spencer said. I grabbed a sleek button-up with orange flowers, a loose pastel orange top, a striped orange shirt, then a striking orange blazer.

“But it shouldn’t be overly formal or else you might be perceived as arrogant or dispassionate.” I threw out the floral shirt. “But it shouldn’t be too casual or she might think you didn’t put any thought into the outfit.” Then I threw out the pastel top.

“And,” I said before he could say anything else. “The resteurant we’re going is super duper fancy, and fancy places always have the air conditioning cranked to the max.” I said, tossing the thin striped shirt—I wasn’t about to bother finding the perfect coat for the shirt.

I hung the blazer on my doorknob, turning to my dresser. “Now I just gotta find a shirt and pants—do you think a white button-up and some brown pants will be okay?” I didn’t wait for Spencer’s response as I dug through my drawers.

“I think your mom will just be satisfied with you showing up,” Spencer said, taking the white shirt from me and pulling it over the ironing board.

“Thank you,” I said as pulled my legs through the tight brown pants on the edge of the bed. Spencer hummed as he ironed the shirt—leaving it as smooth as if it just came from the dry cleaners. “What jewelry should I go with?” I asked as I buttoned up my shirt.

Spencer, who sat on the edge with his book, pursed his lips in thought for a moment. “Didn’t your mom give you a gold cardinal brooch?”

“That’s perfect!” I gasped, hurrying to one of my jewelry boxes stuffed into my nightstand. “Then I can wear my gold hanging earrings…” I hurriedly clipped on all my jewelry and grabbed my purse.

“Love you,” I said, pressing a quick kiss to Spencer’s cheek. “And thank you so much.”

“Be careful,” Spencer said, a small smile on his face as I left the room. I looked back at him smile. Even though he never said it, I liked to assume “be careful” was just his way of saying “I love you”.

“Stay safe at work, and call me if you got an away case, please,” I said, not wanting a repeat last week, where I came back to an empty home only to find out Spencer was all the way in California.

“I will,” he assured, sparing me one last smile before I left the apartment.

The resturant, as I predicted, felt as cold as a Alaskan winter night. I pulled my blazer closer to me as I wove through cloth table scattered about the dimly lit dining room until I found my mom sitting at a booth against the wall.

She was squinting at the drinks menu when she saw me and gasped. Mom stood up and hurriedly brought me into a bone crushing hug. “I missed you so so much, sweetie,” my mom whispered in my ear while her arms wrapped around me tightly. “Oh how have you been?”

“Good,” I said, awkwardly scooting into the booth. “Um, how’re you? And dad? And…” I wanted to avoid bringing up the topic of my brother so soon. “…everyone else?”

“Me and your dad are doing great. He’s still thriving in retirement, even picked up growing his own tomatoes,” Mom said. I scrunched up my face at the mention of the disgusting fruit. “Oh trust me, I know,” she chuckled.

A waiter strode over, smiling politely at me and Mom. “Hello, my name is Issac. Can I get you two lovely ladies started off with something to drink?” He asked, his attention immediately turning to me. My mom threw me a look that I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes at.

“I’ll have water with lemon,” my mom said.

“Diet Dr. Pepper for me.” The waiter nodded curtly as he scribbled down our orders, gracefully walking off. My mom grinned at me and I sighed. “What?” I whispered.

“He’s cute,” my mom said, wiggling her eye brows. I rolled my eyes, leaning back. In her defense, she didn’t know I was dating anyone. But still, her desperation for me to find someone to get married to would always be uncomfortable.

“He is,” I said, trying to change the subject quickly. “What are you planning on getting?” I looked over the menu stuffed full of expensive Italian dishes, going down a list of pastas.

“Oh I don’t know, I might just go the basic route of spaghetti and meatballs,” Mom hummed. “What about you?”

“I might get this tortellini plate,” I said. “But switch the cheese ones with mushroom ones.” Mom pursed her lips, squinting at the menu.

“Now I don’t know what to get…it all sounds so good…”

I smiled, before Issac came over and slid our drinks in front of us alongside a small basket of lightly salted breadsticks. I took a deep breath, savoring the warmth and the fresh salty smell of the bread.

“You two ready to order?” Issac asked, pulling his miniature notepad out his apron. I looked at my mom, who just gestured for me to go first while she continued to look over the menu.

“Well, I’ll have the Tortellini plate,” I said, smiling up at Issac. “But can you swap out the cheese Tortellini with the mushroom ones?”

“Of course,” he answered, turning to my mom. “And you, ma’am?” My mom gave the menu one last look over before nodding.

“I’ll have the…Bombolotti all’Amatriciana,” my mom said slowly, trying her best to pronounce the dish.

“Two wonderful choices,” Issac said as he took up the menus. “Especially the Tortellini. The mushroom one is my favorite,” he chuckled, slipping some curly blond hair behind his ear.

As Issac walked off, my mom swatted my arm with a grin. “He’s into you.”

“Or he’s just being polite,” I said, taking a drink of my soda. “And besides, he’s not my type.”

“Oh and what would that type be?” My mom asked, leaning forward on her elbow.

I sighed. “I’m just not gonna date right now.”

“Why?” My mom asked, pursing her lips as she sipped on her water. “I was already married and had a kid at your age.”

“Mom, that was you, I’m not ready for that type of…stuff. I may not ever be ready.”

“Oh please, I need a grandkid,” my mom sighed. I pursed my lips and looked to the side, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Why don’t you pressure Jacob into having a kid this much?” I muttered, leaning back against the cushioned seat.

“This isn’t about Jacob, it’s about you,” Mom said, making me scoff. “Way to avoid the question,” I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut. “And at least he’s in a relationship—“

“I’m in a relationship,” I finally said.

“What—since when?” My mom asked.

I sighed. “Almost a year.”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t want to. Can’t you accept the fact not everything in my life is your business?” I questioned, leaning onto my elbows as I stared at her.

“I’m your mother—you should at least tell me when you’re dating someone,” she said. “Why wouldn’t you want to?” She was talking like I was crazy and that only made me angrier.

Thankfully, Issac came by with two large plates in hand. He glanced between us and could tell we were in the middle of a quiet argument, so he didn’t linger, and just slid the food in front of us.

As soon as he walked away I leaned over my plate and whispered, “because I didn’t want you to pressure him like you do to me.”

“Don’t be so sensitive,” my mom said, unwrapping the napkin around her utensils. She plunged her fork into the pasta and ate her food as she glared at her plate. “I want to meet him,” she finally said after a moment of silence.

“When he wants to meet you, he will.” I just focused on my food, savoring the mushroom-stuffed pasta. It was better than focusing on my fuming mother, who gripped her fork until her knuckles turned white.

“And here I thought you could at least give me a peaceful lunch—guess I was wrong,” Mom huffed.

“I’m tryin—“

I couldn’t finished before screaming erupted from all around of us—followed by the unmistakable sound of gunshots.

[isa-ghost]

Hey, do you have any Phil & Charlie hcs or perhaps Phil & Foolish?

I'm having such a struggle picking which fucking one to do bc on one hand Foolish probably has more material to work with but on the other I've seen Phil and Charlie interact so much (but like outside of qsmp) that I'd have a way better idea of their dynamic. Charlie Slimecicle log on qsmp more often you talented fuck.

Anyway we're gonna attempt some Phil/Foolish ones. I think they're called Immortals or some shit?? Idr.

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Phil had no fucking clue what Foolish's deal was prior to being paired with him on Bolas. He knew he was a goofy happy-go-lucky and talented guy that?? Maybe had allegiances with the Feds?? Hard to tell?? He thought it was a bit tbh. But Purgatory opened Phil's eyes up and he learned that yeah, he's kinda right to a degree. But there are still layers to Foolish despite how Just Vibing he is.

And holy shit can he TELL Foolish has the capacity to be terrifying. You're telling me an immortal shark-totem hybrid doesn't have the ability to kill a motherfucker violently??? NAH. Phil can tell if enough of the right buttons are pushed, Foolish would snap and tear a bitch to shreds. Likely for Leo.

Phil's not entirely sure he can trust Foolish bc he's so unclear about where his loyalties lie, but Phil CAN tell that Foolish keeps it that way for a reason, and Phil thinks it's smart. Despite not entirely trusting him, he believes Foolish wouldn't like. Sell out his friends for a corn chip, yknow?

Now when you take all the serious out of these two though, THEN it gets interesting. Foolish is one of the islanders that has the easiest time getting Phil to let loose. It's just contagious, Foolish is too silly.

At the same time Phil looks at him and is just like ???? How the fuck does he smile through the horrors like that ???? Like clearly he's aware Situations suck and he's anxious like anyone else so how does he have the willpower to be silly and chill???? Phil envies it. He's too full of anxiety. Survivalist's curse.

Foolish's laugh is pure serotonin to Phil. And kryptonite, Foolish's laugh makes Phil laugh. He can't help it. Motherfucker sounds like a window washer squeegee thing when he's dying.

They have 2 very different flavors of immortality to me and while I don't know how a conversation about it would go bc Foolish is so casual and Phil is so? Not secretive but like. Not nonchalant about it? There's still something there that the ccs should cook on. I'm begging them to, in fact.

Also something about how one of them has deep ties to the air and the other technically has deep ties to the sea. Something about that. Especially when used in like, a serious situation. Like spying on the Federation or some shit. Do you see my vision. Using their inborn abilities to their advantage while in collaboration with each other for the sake of them and their friends. Do you see it.

Phil: Gifting shed feathers to trusted loved ones 🤝🏻 Foolish: Gifting lost shark teeth to trusted loved ones

I don't headcanon Phil as a short king like the entire rest of the fandom apparently does but obviously Foolish is fucking enormous compared to 99% of people, Phil included. If Phil could fly he'd spitefully hover just a little higher than Foolish's full height just to mess with him.

FUCKING. TALENTED BIG BUILDS DUO. SHAKING THEM BY THE SHOULDERS WHEN WILL THEY COLLAB. (The kids beg for this often)

Foolish has no idea if he's some kinda deity or if he's just immortal with some kinda weird totem roots and it drives Phil insane bc the hardcore deities have such a different energy than him yet you're telling him (maybe) both are divinity??

Speaking of the hardcore deities, Phil desperately wants to introduce Foolish to the Ocean Overlord bc they're (maybe) both himbo gods with some sort of tie to the ocean that are just vibing their asses off. (Oh my god wait I'm cooking on that idea. Doozers let's cook together on this).

Phil is jealous that Foolish can still swim, the thing he's deeply connected to (esp with those cosmetic fins he has) but he can't fly, the thing he's deeply connected to. But really it's just that Foolish is lucky bc the Federation would have to horrifically butcher him more or less in order to take away his ability to swim properly. Phil's easier to forcibly contain.

Believe it or not, if a situation arose where it was necessary, Phil would pick Foolish for his team (again) in a heartbeat. He may not be as passionate about fighting as Etoiles, or as ruthless as Fit, but hes powerful nonetheless, a trusted friend, has been in that situation with Phil before, and is a beacon of positivity; excellent for morale. Silly disposition and weird alliances aside, Foolish is an invaluable addition to a team from an objective perspective.

[roseharpermaxwell]

Bite-Size Drarry - Under 10k (Part Four)

Pausing my RWRB reading (I have an ask about firstprince fics too and I’m working on it!) to answer this, which is the nudge I’ve needed. I’ve done this for Dramione before (under 5k), but I especially love tempting readers to Drarry. 

Short works are the unsung heroes of fandom. They don’t get enough love, which makes me so sad, because you definitely don’t always need 100k to deliver a stunning story. These are your bedtime stories, your palate cleansers, your individual serving sizes of serotonin. It’s okay to enjoy these even if you only read slow burn 100k+ fics, I promise. Live a little! 

This is a sampling of some amazing favorites, but I’m always reading new things and will add to it regularly. If you find something you love, I know the author would love to hear it, and so would I! Take a deep dive into their work to find other gems. 

Here's Parts One, Two, and Three if you missed them.

Bite-Size Drarry - Under 10k (Part Four) below:

Stay by @orange-peony. E, 7k. The day Draco Malfoy finds out that the Manor has finally found a new owner is a Tuesday. It takes him less than two minutes to realise that he’s screwed. He has nowhere to go. Things go from bad to worse when he finds out that he's been assigned a new probation officer. Harry bloody Potter.

Sorry i was never good (like you) by @tigerlilycorinne. T, 7k.  “What is your name?”

Michael Corner puts his cup of tea down. “You already know my name,” he says. He points to them each in turn: “Draco Malfoy. Michael Corner. We went to Hogwarts together.”

“You are the one Harry Potter took to bed last night, correct?”

Draco has a questionnaire he calls the Boyfriend Check for Harry’s boyfriends. Because he’s roommates and friends with Harry, and he needs to make sure they’re up to snuff. 

And also for other reasons.

A Love That Knows of Itself by @sleepstxtic. M, 7k. After an accidental bonding, Harry is forced to confront some longstanding feelings concerning a certain Unspeakable.

Epitaphs in Autographs series by @vukovich. E, 7.1k. (MCD) A series of works surrounding death, imperfect relationships, flawed coping, and humanity.

Knead, then let rise by @softlystarstruck. T, 7.2k. Malfoy stumbles back into Harry’s life via the laundry room. A story about baking bread and tripping over words and falling in love.

Interpersonal Relationships Year 7, Unit 3: How to Have Sex Like a Responsible Adult by InnerLilith. E, 7.3k. Harry came to Hogwarts to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. He did not come to Hogwarts to obsess over Draco Malfoy. He definitely did not come to Hogwarts to channel that obsession into…supervising Draco’s sex education class?

Whatever, Harry saved the world. He could handle sex ed. Right?

Draco Malfoy and the Broken Room by @aprofessionalprotagonist. T, 7.3k. A drunk and morose Draco gets trapped in the Room of Hidden Things with Potter of all people. Now, he’s got to figure out how to make peace with the Golden Boy long enough to get out.

everything you should say by icarusinflight. E, 7.4k. They're not friends. But when Draco offers help, Harry takes it.

The Re-Fenestration of Potter by @cavendishbutterfly, @iota. E, 7.5k. Harry wants the Prophet reporters to stop following him and Draco wants Harry to stop climbing through his window at all hours of the night…even if he’s taken to leaving it open, just in case. Everything is bearable until they both get doused with Draco’s latest batch of Wolfsbane, and then suddenly nothing between the two of them is bearable at all.

of course i cum fast, i’ve got a snitch to catch by swoons. E, 7.5k. Strangest of all, Potter never lasts more than two minutes — and that’s if Draco’s being really, really generous with his time-keeping.

It should be off-putting, but Draco’s just intrigued. Perhaps that’s why he’s watched Potter wank in the showers so often.

The Exhale by spqr. T, 7.5k. Hermione makes a soft, concerned sound. "Harry, look at this." She shows him an article with a photo, but the photo's not moving; it must be a Muggle newspaper. "NASA have just landed a rover on Mars. It's called Curiosity, and look, this is so--I don't know if it's sweet or sad, but--it's all alone out there, and they programmed it to sing itself Happy Birthday." Nothing is wrong, but Harry starts crying.

Lovesick by @corvuscrowned. T, 7.6k. People keep spiking Auror Harry Potter with love potions. Healer Draco Malfoy keeps having to pick up the pieces.

But it's getting harder and harder for Draco to watch Harry fall in love with everyone except for him.

Dating Potters by @goldentruth813, @mzuul. M, 7.7k. Scorpius and Albus have been together for awhile now and decide it’s time to have a family dinner and come out to their fathers. What they’re not counting on is the fact that they’re not the only ones with secrets to share.

Play Dates by bixgirl1. E, 7.7k. Harry never thought seeing Malfoy as a dad would affect him this way.

What I Thought by @bafflinghaze. E, 7.8k. Draco thought they were in a relationship. Harry thought it was just sex. 

First Week of Eternity by InnerLilith. E, 7.8k. Moving in with the colleague you’d like to fuck is a bad idea for anyone. It’s worse when you’re a card-carrying member of the eternal dead. It’s exponentially worse when your already garlic-obsessed colleague-slash-crush-slash-roommate has recently discovered his distant Italian heritage.

In which Draco tries desperately to hide that he’s recently become a vampire, and Harry tries desperately to feed him.

The Trouble with Good Sense by RorouniHime. M, 7.8k. When you fill a hotel with flying quills, hands-on demonstrations, and too many Aurors, someone is bound to get cranky.

The Dinner by @brightowl-fics. E, 7.9k. Draco had been trying to beat the sunset, walking along the cobblestone road to the Chateau where he would be staying that night, when he saw the door. Le Billet Doux, said a painted red sign. Below it, réservations non requises: ‘no reservations required.’

in a rambling way by @fw00shy. T, 7.9k. Ron knocked Hermione up, and now Harry's got to figure out how to clone himself so that his friends don't split up fighting over him. Falling for Draco again was never part of the plan.

Check this hand 'cause I'm marvelous by @lqtraintracks. E, 7.9k. Auror Harry has a crush on Unspeakable Draco, and Draco's dared to give him a lapdance when they're out for Friday night drinks.

Keep Me Here by @academicdisasterfic. E, 7.9k. Teddy/Harry/Draco. The one where Teddy is pining, Harry is in denial, and Draco is impatient.

Driving me crazy (but I'm into it) by @thecouchsofa. E, 8k. Draco’s fucked a lot of people. He’s fucked models, Quidditch players, members of the Wizengamot, even a Muggle actor, but none of them come quite as prettily as Harry Potter.

Leeward by @teacup-tai. M, 8.1k. There’s a polaroid kept in the back of Harry’s nightstand drawer. Just the one. It’s Muggle and slightly yellowish. There are many other photos in a box in the back of Harry’s cupboard under the stairs—the one he almost never opens. A hidden box of hidden memories. After four years since their break up, Harry and Draco meet again at Dean and Blaise’s wedding. Now, between the turquoise sea and the white sand dunes of Fuerteventura, they will need to face their feelings.

in between two tall mountains (there’s a place they call lonesome) by @oknowkiss. E, 8.2k. In the shadow of a mountain on the Oregon coast, there may or may not lie a shipwreck, on which there may or may not be a magical relic, lost hundreds of years ago. Harry's been tasked with finding it, and Draco is there to take notes, and they're stuck in a campervan pretending to be married, and it's all going to be just fine. That's what Draco's gotten rather good at telling himself, anyway.

Born Slippy by @dracoladon. E, 8.3k. Harry finds that it's less 'one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor' and more 'one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, decide Malfoy's quite fit, actually, and decent company after your friends traitorous abandonment, floor.' With Malfoy lying next to you.

(Un)Anticipated by @p1013. E, 8.3k. Though he won't ever admit it—not even years later, when Draco's giving Harry shit about it right before they go to sleep, the bedside light just dim enough to hide the worst of his blush—it takes Harry an embarrassingly long time to realise that something is wrong. It's not like he's trying to pull regularly. If he wants to get laid, he gets laid. He is, after all, Harry Potter.

But it's not until it's a Saturday morning, and he's languidly stroking himself off in the shower with long, slow pulls that he feels deep in the pit of his stomach, that Harry realises that he's been at this for quite some time, and while it feels amazing and his toes are curling and his balls are pulled up tight…

Nothing's happening.

Contretemps by @moonflower-rose. T, 8.4k. Draco Malfoy has been living like a model citizen. If only he could convince Potter.

Say Anything by megyal. M, 8.5k. Draco has a crush on Harry and tells him in French.

Flight Patterns by @mosrael. E, 8.6k. Up in the air, Draco can become anyone he wants to be, or cease to be anyone at all. When he puts on his flight attendant's uniform he's just one more smiling face in the crowd, a forgettable interlude in his passengers' day. Not a petrified boy, not a criminal, not a Wizard just trying to keep it together as best he can.

That is until a certain someone interrupts his flight patterns.

Stories in E Minor by @huldrejenta. E, 8.7k. Draco has found his place in the Muggle world. He's got his music, he's got his neighbours and he is content. Until a certain someone from the past enters his life again.

Look For Me In The Sun by @wolfpants. M, 8.7k. Harry and Draco are on the run in America after a mysterious string of werewolf-like attacks in the Muggle community causes the Ministry to impose new and harsh anti-werewolf legislation. Giant trees, crashing waves, seedy motel rooms, and the long and winding coastal road awaits them, but will they ever be able to go back home?

Bored by vorabiza. E, 8.8k. Harry and company are bored, so Harry is encouraged to tell the others a sexual fantasy that becomes a little more romantic than they are expecting.

Howl by @tackytigerfic. M, 8.9k. After an encounter with a vicious werewolf, Draco Malfoy wakes in a field hospital with a mangled shoulder, a furry little problem, and an inconvenient crush on Harry Potter. Potter, meanwhile, is still trying to save the world, only this time he wants Draco right there with him while he does it. Taking part in a rebellion against a corrupt regime isn't always glamorous, but at least sometimes there are organic farmshop pastries and fancy hotel bedsheets. Just don't ask about that smell of burning.

Along Came Potter by huldrejenta. T, 9k. Potter shows up at Draco’s flat. Then he shows up again, and again, and again.

Fuel to the Fire by @eevans22, @holygnocchi. E, 9.1k. Sure, Luna always means well. But suddenly Harry is temporarily living with the man he’s been pining over since they started Auror training, who compliments Harry’s cooking, gives him thoughtful thank you gifts, and looks indecently attractive stepping out of the shower. Something’s got to give. And Harry suspects it will be him.

Just a trial run by @tenthousandyearsx. E, 9.1k. In which Harry wants to get into sex work and Draco would prefer to keep him for himself.

Before the Cold Sets In by @crazybutgood, @vukovich. T, 9.1k. Sometimes, the person you should be planning your life with is already in it. Or, how Harry realised that true love is at the bottom of a tea cup.

sex in trees for beginners by @phdmama. E, 9.1k. The bottle lands on Malfoy and sends out its customary poof of smoke and sparks. Harry hasn’t quite figured out the pattern, it’s not like blue means truth and red means kissing. Malfoy’s poof is a deep pink-purple and there are definitely sparks happening as well. It’s really pretty, actually, and Harry sort of loses himself in watching the colors until suddenly he realizes everyone is quiet and staring at him.  “What?” he asks, glancing around. “What did I miss?”  Malfoy sighs. “The bottle gave us a dare.”

Phoenix by @kedavranox. E, 9.2k. Harry's got a fantasy.

Starting Again by @tamerofdarkstars. T, 9.2k. Harry felt the situation rapidly slipping from his grasp and suspected he’d never really had hold of it to begin with. “You want me to be friends with Draco Malfoy because you think that will stop him from being... sad.”

“Bingo, give the boy a prize.”

The Things They Never Say by bixgirl1. E, 9.3k. Harry and Draco don't know how to talk. So they do other things instead.

to be a bit of warmth for you by softlystarstruck. M, 9.3k. As some of the only eighth years to return to Hogwarts, Harry doesn't know how he and Draco will manage to be roommates for a whole year without resorting to violence. But Draco is too quiet, and too thin, and wears layers of sweaters that he tucks over his fingers. So they fall into an unspoken routine, one that soothes Harry as much as it helps Draco, one that's so much easier than Harry thought it would be.

Until it all falls apart, and Harry realizes he holds the world in his hands.

Wooing with Woodwork by @henrymercury. T, 9.3k. According to Ron, Harry needs to make a move on Draco in the next month or he's going to receive a howler he won't want Draco to overhear.

That Draco will overhear is fairly inevitable given they're cooped up in the same DMLE office all day, or off investigating together, and they go home to the same flat at night.

All I Have to Do by @fluxweeed. E, 9.5k. The Patented Daydream Charm (Adult Edition) allows you to enter a top-quality, highly realistic thirty-minute sexual fantasy. Solitude and privacy spells advised. or: Draco finally has some alone time; Harry just needs to nip in for a book.

Sinking to Swim by @pheaphilus. T, 9.5k. When Unspeakable Malfoy gets his latest assignment at the Department of Mysteries, he can't help but curse his own luck. What are the chances that he would have to seek out the elusive Harry Potter for help?

When Draco Malfoy comes to his door, asking for his input into an ongoing project at the Ministry, Harry is skeptical. When's the last time a Malfoy did anything to help anyone but themselves, anyway?

Let Me Roll It by @lagerloutfic. E, 9.5k. “I’m not going to kiss you here,” Harry said, applying a fraction of pressure so Draco’s lips parted.  “No?” Draco said, his breath hot on Harry’s knuckle.  “No.” --- The thing about Harry was, he hated most people. And there was no one he hated more than Draco’s boyfriend Justin - certified knob and all round wanker.  So when he finds out Justin is just as selfish inside the bedroom as he is outside it, Harry can’t help himself.

Sex on Legs in Six-Inch Heels by @tessacrowley. E, 9.6k. Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he's wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can't.

what if, but if, we could kiss (and just cut the rubbish) by @swisstae. E, 9.6k. “Christ, Draco, get your mouth back on me, I need you, oh God, Jesus fucking Christ,” and Draco can’t help how he shivers, the words dripping down his spine like molasses, sticky sweet blasphemous prayers in the heat of the moment. It’s enough to bring him closer to the edge, and when Harry spills down his throat, hot and bitter and musky, Draco comes with a muffled cry, his cock spurting weakly as he spills all over the floor. (Later, Harry will tease him, will whisper Christ, Malfoy, look at you, so hot for me, Jesus and Draco will come undone a second time, shaking in the safe bracket of Harry’s arms around him.) OR: Draco and Harry are not-quite-friends, but then they are. it is A Time. Ron just wishes he had bleach.

The Little Marauders Nursery and Day Care by @digthewriter. E, 9.8k. Harry Potter is the proud owner of a daycare, and his favorite student is Scorpius Malfoy. Scorpius’s dad might be okay, too.

Gryffindors Never Kiss and Tell by @drarrytrash. E, 9.9k. The gang realizes that everyone has kissed Harry except Draco. Draco proceeds to do a terrible job of pretending he doesn’t want to kiss him too. 

That's all for now 💚 Give the authors some love! I also adore hearing if you found a new favorite fic or author.

I’ll be regularly adding to this, so if you’re seeing this as a reblog, feel free to check my Master List of Recommendations for the most current list. If you see yourself and you’re not tagged, or I've got a broken or misdirected link, please let me know!

[ghoulspots]

Girlies don’t forget to take your vitamins!

Here are a few vitamins that I swear by:

Fenugreek

Fenugreek is my favorite it’s honestly so neat

It helps with removing b3lly f4t and bloating by helping you pøøp

It makes your Boøbs grow if you’re up for that

But best of all, it makes your sweat and your cøøchie smell and taste like maple syrup !

Some people may be allergic to this one and also don’t take too much at one time ts is powerful, it starts working 24-72 hours after you first take it

Biotin

I like the olly gummies because they’re fun

But seriously if we could stop our hair from falling out permanently we should at least try

It also helps with nails and skin so go off

Magnesium

Ts has me sleeping like I did when I was f4t after a b1g b4cked serving of biscuits and gravy AND it helps me p00p in the morning bye bye bl0ating

Vitamin B12

This is the vitamin that you get from eating red meat. It helps a lot with getting hangry or just anxiety. It helps your brain create dopamine/ serotonin which are the happy hormones.

I’ll be adding to this list as time goes on and I find more vitamins to reccomend

Please comment if you have any suggestions 🖤

The calories In supplements don’t count 🖤 stay safe

These are just the vitamins that I take. I’m not a doctor.

[sygneth]

I am not even sure if I will be posting this (though, if you're reading this, I did), but, nevertheless, I have a few points about Jean that I have to make. He is no saint. He is an asshole and I’m not gonna pretend that he is not. But there is so much more to it. 

Let me start with the most obvious. He is said to have clinically diagnosed depression, with, apparently, no distinctive source, and, from what he says, we may assume he is under some sort of psychiatric supervision. 

He was diagnosed seven years ago. Diagnosed with depression, which probably means he’s been dealing with it for a good while longer, only at a certain moment he decided to seek help/had an attempt/any other circumstance that lead this man to get a diagnosis. He is now 34, seven years earlier he’d be 27. 

The reasons for such unspecified depression may be many, from some kind of a rare neurological defect causing one’s brain to be incapable of properly producing/transmitting/I’m-not-a-biologist-neither-is-English-my-first-language-so-I’m-not-gonna-dig-into-neurological-dysfunctions-further-but-you-get-the-point, serotonin, through a burnout, all the way to having other, undiagnosed disorders/illnesses as *checks Luiga’s tweets* Schizoid PD (I am not convinced that what Jean presents is a 100% textbook SPD example, rather SPD traits/behavior patterns? But I’m no specialist and even if I were, it’s hard to diagnose someone based on those few dialogue lines) and codependency tendencies. The doctors didn’t diagnose any other disorder, or at least he never mentions it, but looking at the world of Elysium, those disorders may not yet have been widely recognized, especially if not presenting themselves in the most typical ways/high-functioning. And Jean tends to be high functioning despite his issues. Yet, I assume that in Elysium, and Jamrock especially, the access and quality of psychological and psychiatric services are poor and probably limited. Not to mention education on the matter, which is probably low if not near none. (Just looking at how is alcoholism treated by *everyone* there, or the short mention of McCoy’s brother gives me a good 90’s/early 00s Eastern Europe vibe of mental issues/disabilities public awareness.)  Now, keep that in mind. 

Alright. Next up: a codependent, close relationship with an alcoholic. 

Jean’s relationship with Harry is an interesting one. I found this interesting research on codependency among spouses of alcoholics, that states codependency is related to, among others, SPD traits. (That’s an, uh, disclaimer? I was just curious how that two may coexist, but apparently, they do.) 

Back to the main thought. 

As someone who has been in a close, codependent relationship with a person who had problems with drinking, I can tell you something. It’s more than hard to get out of one. You see a person you care about do stupid, drunken, dangerous shit, you may be angry at them, you may be furious, yet you will still feel responsible for them in a way, and you will take that responsibility and try to get them out of the shit they got themselves into. I’ll say more, if that’s an actual relationship, you will feel social pressure that you are responsible for your partner’s behavior and you’re the one to take care of them. If it’s your work partner, then it’s highly probable you actually will be held responsible for their behavior, so you’re even more likely to clean up their mess. And when you help them out, because you care, because you feel like you should, because you don’t want to be “dicked” for it, maybe all of the above, they will be grateful and they will praise you and love you and even if you feel like this is not the right thing to do, you will do it again.

It takes a lot of work and self-awareness to get out of something like that healthily. And if you have some psychological knowledge, it also helps a lot, to understand how to deal with it. And the only way to do it, regardless healthy or not, is by setting boundaries. If you can healthily set them, and make the other person respect them, that’s very good. But if you have some other mental issues in addition to that, if you lack knowledge on how people’s behavior patterns work, on how exactly addictions work and that, you are maybe having some problems with generally understanding relationships between people, how and why they work, it’s very likely that you won’t be capable of setting those boundaries and enforce them to be respected. It’s very likely that one day, when something will happen and you will realize how toxic and unhealthy this relationship is for you, you will panic and you will start to do anything to get out of it, like a cat drowning in a well. That you will start acting cold, maybe even merciless from a certain perspective, maybe you won’t let yourself believe in their pleading and assurances of change, because you will know that letting yourself *feel* sympathy for the person you had this relationship with may lead to spiraling back into the wheel of codependency. Maybe you have already tried this, and letting yourself trust them only led you back to the point where you started and maybe this time, you don’t want it to end up this way.

And you know what? There is nothing wrong with trying to ensure your mental well-being. “Before approaching the casualty, always make sure the area is safe.” YES because if you’ll get hurt trying to help somebody, there will be one more person to help. The same applies to helping people get their life together. If you won’t have a good mindset to help them, if they will only drag you down, maybe the area isn’t safe? 

Moving on. 

Now, remember when I said that the level of social and psychological awareness seems very low in Elysium/Revachol/Jamrock? About that. 

You know what else I see, looking at the Harry-Jean-Dora-Kim situation? A bunch of people with self-awareness in terms of emotion, and emotional development of teenagers, but problems of grown-up people. And they are not to blame, the system is to blame. Harry seems to be very self-conscious and connected to his emotions, yet for six years he couldn’t find a healthy way to get over a heartbreak. He has tendencies to act violently, to randomly drunk-phone his ex to harass her (I mean come on, he was asking her if she is naked), not to mention a tone of other things. 

What happens here to Jean, is his situationship/best friend, whom yeah, he decided to ‘have a break’ with, immediately gets over it, and starts to go out with someone else. Taking, that this man has probably understanding of his emotions on a level of a high-schooler, he WILL be salty. He will be mad at Harry and he will be salty towards Kim when he sees them in Whirling. (Not to mention that it’s probably how they just roll in the precinct, and I’m quite sure that Harry’s and Jean’s relationship has been japing on and teasing each other, and as long as they both knew how it works, it was all good, compare: this post. So yes, Jean will be angry with Harry and he will act like an offended drama queen partially because that is just how their relationship dynamics probably looked like for the last two (at least!) years, and partially because he is an offended 16-year-old drama queen, whose bestie told her to fuck off and found a new (boy)friend. 

Is it good, that grown-up men have the emotional capabilities of high schoolers? No. Should we blame them, or the fact that their system seemingly doesn’t provide any prevention, doesn’t promote awareness, or offer any proper healthcare for that matter? I’ll leave that to you.

To add to all this, yes, the RCM’s fucked up system, hierarchy, and mentality don’t help. Yes, it would be better for both Harry and Jean and probably Kim too, taking for his PTSD, to get the fuck out of there and live peaceful lives. But you know, changing your whole lifestyle isn’t easy. Understanding that maybe it’s better to leave now and that it doesn’t mean you’ve “wasted” your years is a process, a long and hard one. I had to learn this. My close ones had to learn this. Some of them still didn’t, especially, that where I come from, there is this CEE culture of not letting yourself fail with peace of mind. You got to do everything the best you can, you gotta do it 120%, and if not, you’re a rotten piece of shit. Looking at how Harry treats himself, Revachol seems to have this in common with Central-Eastern Europe as well. 

Another thing, we don’t even know what Kim or Jean did before they joined the RCM, and Harry was a gym teacher. Thinking that it is easy to just switch your job in, again, a place with a CEE mentality, is a huge mistake. At the age of 40-odd years especially. In the 90s, especially. We don’t even know if Jean or Kim have any other education on their account, besides being cops, so changing professions would mean additional education, and for Harry, how many places, realistically, would take in a 45-year-old gym teacher?

I generally see that many people seem to forget/not understand how CE European mentality works, and it shows. I am glad that we live in a world where awareness of things such as homophobia, ableism, misogyny and else is common knowledge. But it wasn’t here, not even those 15 years ago. I remember people using names of dysfunctions and disabilities as slurs. Grown up people. I remember my classmates and my friend calling each other faggots or laughing at each other for not being gender-affirmative enough. Half of us turned out to be queer, and nobody had a problem with that, because in those times this kind of language wasn’t necessarily indicating someone’s worldview, it was just a bad habit, a very common one. I am more than happy, really, that we got rid of this kind of narrative and are more aware of the weight of a spoken word now. But when talking about past or settings that resemble this past, let’s please not forget that it DID look different and take that into consideration. Please. 

Remembering what we derived from and what a great progress as a society we did is important, as it shows the way we managed to walk, but also reminds us of what people had to deal with. And is a warning, because now we’re probably still all doing things that in 30 years will be so, so wrong. 

So concluding this ridiculously long consciousness stream, I love you, DE fandom. Now, I have an interview to watch (probably not anymore) and a comic page to draw (as always). I’ll leave you with this here.

[ququb444hm]

thanks a lot, cupid

part 02 / surrounded by homosexuals ☆

masterlist

warning(s): possible typos, profanity

let’s give a little context, shall we? currently, we are set a few months prior to the present timeline– yn’s sophomore year, nearing the end of sophomore year to be specific. she and keiji have been dating for 5 months, and today is the annual art exhibition of yūgen university, a day where all the art students gather their most prized and successful art pieces for the public to view and even buy off during the auction portion of the event. as joyous as this day should be, yn’s mind clouded with thoughts regarding her boyfriend.

keiji was great! he was sweet, thoughtful, evidently handsome, and universally, an ideal boyfriend. but… recently the spark seemed to die out. with promised dates being frequently forgotten and feelings bottled within the two individuals, until they decide to burst and drench the couple with a bitter taste, yn was beginning to think it would be a good idea to break up.

this takes us to a gloomy yn who just finished getting ready for tonight's event, waiting for her brother and his girlfriend to make their way from the downstairs flower shop to the apartment above. identifiable voices followed familiar footsteps up the building’s stairs. “you ready, picasso?” tetsurou chimed, head peeking through the rails.

cecily followed suit, giggling about, “ohh, you got the name right this time!”

“what can I say, I support the art community.”

“yeah, I'm ready.” yn answered, walking over to the two.

“oh wow,” cecily awed, staring at the younger girl. “you look great, peach. let me go freshen up, I’ll meet the two of you in the car. give me five minutes!” in a hurry, the oldest of the three swept over to her bedroom to get dressed as the kuroo siblings grabbed their belongings before exiting the premises.

“keiji texted me,” tetsurou mumbled, opening the car door for his sister. “said he can’t make it to the exhibition.” the second half of the sentence was almost inaudible if not for yn’s perked ears.

“for some reason that doesn’t surprise me.”

“tried to see if it was a surprise and he was just saying that to catch me off guard, but apparently he forgot about today and accidentally scheduled something else that he can't reschedule.”

“how romantic. well, that adds more reasons why we should break up.” yn murmured, picking up her phone to check if keiji decided to text her the news himself, “did he say anything as to why he couldn’t tell me any of this himself? or was it the usual use tetsurou as my personal messenger?”

as a response, tetsurou passed his phone over to yn with the screen showing his conversation with keiji.

please tell yn for me I don’t think I have enough courage to do so myself. I’m sorry.

the car ride to the university was quiet despite cecily’s attempts to try and get the siblings into a conversation. once parked, the three made their way to the art building to transfer yn’s paintings to the place the exhibition was being held where a crowd of friends and family of other art students awaited to enter.

“holy shit. the crowd seems bigger than it was in freshmen year.” mori gasped, fingers fidgeting with his nametag.

ignoring the whole relationship situation, yn couldn’t help the growing feeling of excitement for tonight's event. her art occupied a huge chunk of her heart and soul. she spent laborious days, weeks, and months on her paintings. sure her boyfriend who she was going to break up with couldn’t make it and somehow talk her into not breaking up but! her friends, her brother, and proud administrators who have actually supported and encouraged her passion were with her, and that’s all that mattered.

the event itself went smoothly. various compliments and pictures with admirable professionals struck yn’s heart with pure serotonin, “If I died right at this moment, I swear I would die with no regrets.”

“that’s a lie. you’d die a virgin which is lame.” rin interjected,

“nothing wrong with that.” koushi said matter of factly.

“says the non-virgin.” tooru smirked, earning multiple gags from the group.

rin rolled his eyes at the couple, “first of all, ew. second, the auction is starting in fifteen minutes, mr. vanderaz said to start putting the things you wanna auction off into the stage room.”

“oh! I need help moving my things then,” mori exclaimed, “see you there, yn!” he gave his best friend a quick hug before dragging rintarou, tooru, and koushi over to help him.

“alright! which pretty paintings do you want moved over to the stage room?” koutarou beamed, ruffling the girl’s hair.

“oh, these three please!” yn answered, pointing over to the three beside her, “also, I really gotta make a quick phone call, I’ll meet you guys there?”

cecily, who yn informed about her thoughts regarding breaking up with keiji, quickly understood what was happening. “meet you there, peaches.” she gave a reassuring kiss on the girl’s cheek before going over to tetsurou and koutarou to help carry the canvases.

quickly making her way outside the building to a secluded bench, yn dialed keiji’s number half hoping for him to pick up, half hoping that maybe she wouldn’t have to hear his voice and cry because she hated ending things, especially a 5 month relationship. A few seconds passed before the overfamiliar calming voice of keiji akaashi was heard on the other side of the line,

“yn?”

“hey, uhm are you busy right now?”

“…kind of? not really, why what's wrong? how’s the art exhibition? I’m sorry I couldn’t make it…”

“It’s fine…I mean no it's not fine-”

“what do you mean? did you get hurt?”

“no, no that’s not what I meant. I was referring to you not coming…I actually called because I wanted to talk about us.”

“oh.”

“keiji… you’re a great guy but these few months have been really emotionally draining for me and I just don’t think I can do this anymore. you haven't been keeping your promises and with all the small arguments we’ve had recently, I just…I think it would be best if we…if we broke up.”

“…”

“keiji? keiji please respond. this is really hard for me too and I just really need you to say something. anything. please.”

“I’m sorry for all the hurt I’ve caused you yn…I’m sorry.”

the sound signaling the call ended echoed throughout the empty night, drowning out the bustling noise from the inside of the building and it wasn’t until the soft pitter patter of rain that yn realized she had been holding in bulky tears that now streamed down her face, warming her cold cheeks.

a few minutes passed until someone noticed yn’s absence and went to look for her. finding the crying girl outside and alone made the heart of the individual ache. slow, quiet footsteps made their way to the bench, stopping in front of the girl. no words were exchanged, just pitying eyes and a warm embrace.

“thank you, kozu.”

part 01 ugly and bitchless <- | masterlist | -> part 03 stuck w me

note(s): none of the pictures used are mine!!

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Heya, I don't plan to talk about it much but due to what happened with forever, who was my fav and really the heart of the project for me, I'm probably not going to post about Qsmp much anymore. Or if I do, it'll take a while. But please read if you're in the same boat as me, its kind of a ramble and you can skip certain parts but I'd like to hear your thoughts. The last couple of paragraphs touch on some stuff that I hope can help be worth your while, whether you're here for the Qsmp stuff or the mental health part.

Now this is absolutely not to say the rest of the project doesn't matter or that people should give up on it. The Qsmp is incredible and should be known for what it has achieved: breaking language barriers and uniting communities. Its wonderful, unique, and still has so much to offer in terms of content creation, so please don't let the whole of it be tarnished for what happened with one creator (we've seen that before already and it sucks). Personally, it got me back into streaming content/mcyt and I'd like to stay more present this time, its so much fun and its nice knowing I can sort of drift back and forth when new things pop up. If you're in the same boat, I encourage you to not feel like its all over immediately if you still feel a passion for this kind of work, maybe you won't get back into it but maybe you just need a bit of time. Whatever you feel, as long as you're happy and having fun you're doing it right.

So, personal feelings (which I suck at but its better than bottling my thoughts and I encourage others to do the same). I'm fucking devastated lmao. His character was my absolute hyperfixation, I'm talking 24/7 brainrot for months. I haven't felt this passionate for a character since dsmp, I honestly didn't know I could still do it. But there's another layer. I live in the U.S., and I'm Brasilian-American. In the U.S., you don't hear anyone saying shit about Brasil. You hear a lot about Mexico, but nothing really south of that, and if you do its usually about sexualizing Brasilian women or narcotics and gang stuff. Not the best representation for little me, admittedly. When you-know-who won the Qsmp Election, y'all I felt something in me spark to life that I hadn't felt since we won the Olympic soccer tournament in Rio in 2016. I'm proud to be Brasilian, I've always been proud of it, but its a pride that's been limited to sports and my own personal experiences. To see myself represented, to see Brasil naturally enter the conversation for a piece of media I loved that I didn't know would have us, and to see us win something, phew, shit got me higher than my wisdom tooth removal. We Brasilians banded together to secure the win, and what's more, my fav cc on the project was the one at the center. I felt so happy, for my country, my community, and for myself. And I know recent events might taint that memory for some of us, but I refuse to look back on my feelings from back then negatively. That was one of the best damn moments in my chronically online life, and I will always remember it with pride and joy, along with the many other moments when this wonderful server made me proud to be me.

So, naturally, when the news hit I was pretty fucked up over it. Still am tbh, but better now that I've had sleep (though it took me a while to fall asleep because of course my sleep gets ruined by bad feelings, bleh). All this to ultimately say it sucks. Like, it really fucking sucks. The anxiety, the disappointment, the sadness, and the uncertainty of "what now?". Might be sounding dramatic but again, 24/7 brainrot/serotonin supply for months that connected me to my culture abruptly cut off because of pedophile allegations. C'mon Satan, I already have to go to therapy, you didn't have to kick this horse while it was down. Joking aside, if you feel as absolute dogshit as I do and have that kind of anxiety where the world feels like its about to end because moments like these leave you with the rug pulled out from under you and the uncertainty leaves you not knowing what to do with your life after this... well, welcome to the boat, bathroom's on the lower deck and snacks are in the lobby. And also I'm here, and everyone else who's been left in the same crummy place emotionally. We're here together, and I hope that can help you, cause I know for me the worst part is feeling alone in it all, but I'm not, and neither are you. We're here, holding hands and cursing existence for putting us here and making us so sensitive and giving us something great only for it to end up hurting us. We're here, and if you wanna say anything, my DMs, comments, asks, whatever you'd want to talk through, are all open.

Now comes the hardest part: acknowledgement and playing the waiting game. Like I said, if you're feeling like me, this kind of anxiety and disappointment has you feeling like its all over. So now's when you gotta remind yourself that the only thing that's over is this moment in your life when you enjoyed a Thing. That Thing can have meant a lot to you, it could have gotten you out of really dark places, and it could be something you'll still think about down the line. It can be something like minecraft cube people that you (I) got way too emotionally attached to. And for whatever reason, that Thing could have meant the absolute world, whether other people would've understood it or not. Its not your fault it ended the way it did, life just does that sometimes, as unsatisfying of an answer as that is. But its true, and its an important lesson. The Thing is over.

You know what's not over though? You. You're life. Whatever the hell you are doing and will do in the future. If this was the best thing in your life you had going for you, I am so fucking sorry. You deserved to be happy with it, we both did. But I promise you, this Thing is a moment in your story, not the whole story. This really was the source of my joy for the past few months, and if its the same for you, I see you. We can feel like shit together, along with the rest of this wonderful community who understand it too. And you know what else we're gonna do? Live, and move on. Not now, maybe not for while, but we're human beings, we persist (sometimes that might look like you're dragging your battered self out of a trench smelling like depression and expired cheese, but you'll get out of the trench, we both will). There's too much to life for this to be what stops you from finding the rest, whether that's some dramatic life change that completely changes the world as you know it for the better... or just figuring out what comes next. Taking a shower, watching that movie you were waiting for the right moment to watch (I'd say this qualifies), setting up a therapy appointment maybe. Whatever you do to feel like a person again, you have that to do, and later down the road you'll have new Things that give it all meaning. So keep yourself going, hit up me or others who would get it, and do what you gotta do to let it pass. Because it will pass.

Deep breaths friend, I'll be cheering for you when it does

[foxlightwill]

since i’m on it, some other things:

1) people should stop freaking out about grapefruit juice and opioids. a lot of stuff about GFJ is hypothesized, but not studied. the most studies we have, have to do with cholesterol medication. addicts have been trying to increase the potency of opioids with GFJ for years, with questionable results. it’s probably more placebo effect than anything, as the amount of GFJ needed is most likely quite a lot, and it has to be pure (not diluted with water or other juice). people do not overdose doing this.

basically, you can take your percocet with some GFJ. you’ll be fine.

2) the warning on OTC cough syrup (dextromethorphan/DXM) about anti-depressants is specifically about MAOIs. this is a dangerous combination, and MAOIs have a lot of risks, so that’s why they aren’t common in use. if you’re on an MAOI, you’ll know it, unless you have one of the worst doctors in the world. plus, you can search up your medication and confirm if it’s an MAOI or not.

the risk of serotonin syndrome with a therapeutic dose of DXM combined with SSRIs or SNRIs (the most common type of antidepressant) is pretty much none. DXM increases serotonin levels, but even in recreational amounts, the risk is still low clinically. it’s not advised to take serotonergic agents while tripping on DXM, but you probably aren’t going to die.

relax. you can treat your cough if you’re on any antidepressant that’s not an MAOI. just avoid tripping on it with them.

3) speaking of which, serotonin syndrome can be fatal, but the overwhelming majority of cases are treatable and non-fatal. the risk of death with medical intervention is low, with numbers estimated to be 1% or less.

4) drinking orange juice with your ADHD meds isn’t going to render them useless. you would have to take a massive amount of vitamin C. stop reading additude mag.

5) believe it or not — and this one people *really* hate me the most for saying — “not getting high” from stimulants doesn’t “prove” ADHD. there are differences between therapeutic and recreational doses. people will take therapeutic doses to do things like cram for an exam. it has the same kind of effect that it has in people diagnosed with ADHD. it is silly to assume everyone with this reaction has ADHD. stimulants increase attention and focus, that’s what the neurochemicals it acts on do, and if you have a problem with attention and focus, then that’s going to be helpful.

“but it makes me sleepy!” a common side effect in patients is actually insomnia, even if they don’t report euphoria (“getting high”). this is well known.

ADHD is not “my brain has low dopamine (so the stimulants give it more)” either. it is much more complicated than that. stimulants also work on serotonin and norepinephrine. many statements about ADHD you see on social media are honestly anecdotal, a game of telephone, junk science, oversimplification, and misunderstanding.

( + a desperation to separate oneself from drug addicts, which honestly isn’t useful.)

6) to make people hate me even more: you can also get high from stimulants if you have been diagnosed with ADHD, just like you can get high from opioids even if you have chronic pain. there are plenty of people addicted to stimulants who were diagnosed with ADHD, and it doesn’t invalidate their diagnosis.

[ajokeaboutadog]

It seems like some terfs are seeing a post of mine, which I guess is inevitable if you tag something with feminism.

So I had a really intense cussing at terfs phase, and I try not to do that as much now, but terfs trying to interact with me probably aren't going to get serotonin.

I don't consider myself to have a developed opinion on too many things but I do understand conspiracies and radicalization pretty well, and terfs are ensnared by and propagating a hateful cluster of conspiracy theories.

In these spaces and in this like moment it's difficult to separate conspiracy believer from conspiracy monger, and I have a lot of sympathy for people drawn into these patterns of behavior and thought. I'm not stupid though, people who say they're my enemies don't get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their actions.

To the extent I think I have any responsibility posting shit here, I should post more about conspiracy deradicalization and resources to avoid getting started with them in the first place.

Terf thought is a conspiracy theory on the level of the red scare and the satanic panic, approaching the organization of the 1920s kkk or the John Birch Society. Terfs are both an organized threat to society and lone radicals acting independently, the essence of stochastic terror.

Whatever terfs are reading my bizzare, low numbers shitposts, I believe you can be helped but I'm not your friend.

[polyabathtub]

Apropos of absolutely nothing (my dash losing its collective shit about the Panthers victory celebrations, me repeatedly seeing videos and going “lol that man is most certainly not drunk”), here’s some info on how one might be able to tell that someone is taking MDMA (aka Molly, ecstasy). The common term for this is rolling*.

Disclaimer: I do not actually know what specific people may or may not have taken, I’m just providing some useful information for my fellow fic writers (fic stands for fiction!) should they decide to write fiction inspired by some of the amazing content we saw last week.

I have heart problems so have never been able to take it myself—but I’m friends with a lot of burners**, and have been blessed with the opportunity to participate in MDMA-fueled cuddle piles. It’s a good time but it can also be dangerous, and it doesn’t mix well with a lot of common medications (particularly antidepressants).

MDMA is a party drug. It makes things like pretty lights and textures more interesting. If you’ve seen “Someone Great” on Netflix, Jenny getting super into textures is a pretty good representation (it’s also one of my favorite movies, but be warned you WILL cry). I couldn’t find a gif within 0.2 seconds of searching so you don’t get one, sorry.

MDMA causes muscle clenching. Taking magnesium helps (magnesium threonate for the brain, magnesium glycinate or bisglycinate are also good for muscle spasms, not too tough on digestion and cheaper). It’s also rough on the brain. Taking something like NAC can reduce risk, but in general MDMA isn’t something that’s safe to do frequently, even if you have a good source and you’re testing your drugs before taking them. I’m not an expert on safe use so I’m not going to give specific recs here, but the people I know who take it research heavily and pregame with supplements.

The other thing that’s key—electrolytes. MDMA messes with electrolyte homeostasis, so it’s important to stay hydrated, and that hydration should be more than just water. If I were, say, a professional athlete celebrating a championship win with Molly, I would probably carry around a bottle of something like pedialyte to sip from (though my personal preference would be a sports-oriented sugar containing supplement like Skratch or LMNT).

MDMA removes your inhibitions to physical contact, particularly with people you’re already positively oriented towards. So, slow dancing with your teammates? Absently groping your teammate’s chest while half paying attention? Literally hanging off of whoever is next to you all night? Molly.

MDMA wrecks pupil reflexes, so anyone taking it who is outside of their natural environment (a dark room with interesting lights) is easily recognizable by their absolutely massive pupils. Or squinting like hell when they hit bright lights***.

MDMA keeps you from sleeping until it wears off. The high lasts 3-6 hours but it’ll probably keep you awake until the morning. Also, when it wears off it often causes molly blues, which might last for a few minutes or hours or sometimes up to a couple of days. Essentially, MDMA floods the brain with serotonin, and when it wears off, it can take some time for things to re-equilibrate.

My point here: I really think there’s a lot of fanfic potential in certain Panthers (Barky) trying this thing for the first time and having an amazing night and then suddenly feeling some big “oh god now that I’ve won it, who do I become?” feelings that <player of your choice> then helps them through.

*for an example of “rolling” in a sentence, see this quote from my recent fic wie viel:

Leon briefly regretted not wearing a hat, or maybe sunglasses, which were fairly effective as a disguise but tended to make people assume he was already rolling—the man wasn’t acting like he’d recognized him, though.

That fic relies on Leon showing up to a private party with a ton of cash (because he’s leaving open the option of buying drugs and also isn’t sure how expensive the party will be) and keeping his face bare (so people won’t assume he’s already set for the night). This conveniently enables the misunderstanding that drives the rest of the plot.

**burners: people who go to Burning Man. This is not a euphemism but it probably could be. If you aren’t sure if any of your friends are burners, don’t worry—they’ll tell you! (I say this with affection, but it is exactly like when your childhood friends got back from summer camp and wouldn’t shut up about it for weeks)

***yes I am thinking of a specific photo of a specific 2-way cat

[harus-simp]

God damn it!

-Gunwook x reader-

Warning:none

Requested: hi!! i love your writing and i have a request. reader is a kep1er member and when it’s revealed that gunwook placed 5th, y/n gets up and rushes over to him and they bear hug each other!! the camera pans to them and that starts all the fans spreading rumors that you both are dating (which the agency later reveals is true) tysm!! (Anonymous)

Author's note: thank you so much for requesting, this is one of the cutest ideas I've heard so I knew I had to do it :)) I've modified some things from the finale to be more logical but it really isn't much so I hope you enjoy <3

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The finale meant everything to gunwook as he almost tasted his opportunity to debut approximate and having you by his side made his experience ten times better.

"Welcome star creators all around the world to the boys planet finale where we'll get to know out top 9 that'll make it into the groups group"started speaking the mc, hwang minhyun.

Clapping and cheering was heard around the stadium where the final event would be held, everyone rooting for their top picks and for those who they wanted so bad to debut.

As gunwook and the rest of the trainees were standing on backstage ready to enter the main stage to interpret their song "Here I am" one last time they could feel the support and the excitement from the public that was ready to welcome them.

The nerves and the situation was starting to get the worst out of everyone at this point, but they couldn't just give up when they were literally so close, no,not now. They had to keep fighting and making efforts to secure a spot in the final top 9.

Gunwook started to space out and get on his head as every minute made him want to finish this quickly so he could get it out of his chest.

He reacted when he heard the mc's voice continue his speech:

"Now for the guests we have none other than Kep1er!"

His face curled up into a smile as he imagined you on the stage waiting for him to be announced as part of the debut team. His girlfriend already knowing how hard the process was due to having experienced it herself.

All the applauses and the whistles made it clear that it was their clue to get onto stage and get ready to perform. While he got there he made sure to search for your figure on the guest zone. As your eyes locked,you both smiled to yourselves as you knew how much it meant to be there for both of you. For him to have his girlfriend by his side in a crucial moment for his career and for you to be present in that special instant.

.

.

.

After all the fun and games that the trainees little videos and their preparation for their final performance it was the time for the actual stages. Gunwook would he doing "Jelly Pop", and you were anticipating it so much as his previous concepts had been much stronger and powerful than this one.

He looked at you one last time before concentrating into giving his all as you mouthed a small "fighting".

As the music started you immediately started to humm along and move your feet with the music giving you an instant serotonin boost, having a contagious overall happy vibe.

On the parts he was in the center you felt your smile almost spreading out of your face as he flashed you little hearts that he knew you'd see thank to your attention to detail that applied as well as one of the main dancers in your group. Bayyih nudged you on the side teasing you and your lovey dovey demeanour towards your s/o.

"Stop smiling like that, you are disgusting me jeez".

"I can't help it tho"you responded punching her shoulder softly

"We should get ready now"said Hikaru

"Yeah we should"

You made your way towards the behind of the stage as you'd be presenting your latest comeback to the public before it came out, which was long awaited by the fans.

After your performance the mc motioned your group to get closer to the stage for the debut announcement as they thought that your group could empathise with them.

Although it was a little bit surprising and kind of weird you accepted nonetheless because well, you didn't have any problem with something as simple as that, just staying on the stage but on a corner. Besides you got the opportunity to be closer to your boy :))

And now...it was the time, the time everyone was waiting for and that would decide the future of the group. Hwang Minhyun started by the rank 8th, being reclaimed by jiwoong.

Then it came the 7th, being occupied by gyuvin.

Later on, the 6th, by taerae.

Now you were starting to get nervous, gunwook's name hadn't been called yet and it made your heart sink a lil as you wanted to hear his name as soon as possible signalling his secured spot.

Right after you started to get on your head you payed attention to the mc as he was about to announce the 5th rank.

You and all the public were literally holding your breath as you were impatient to know already the new member. Besides, the dear mc made it all more tense and intriguing by slowing the process and repeating himself a couple of times (annoying everyone out there).

"And the 5th rank is... park gunwook, congratulations"he clapped as everyone literally lost their minds.

In that exact moment he felt his world stop for a moment, putting his hand over his mouth as he was too stunned to do anything. After a few seconds of realisation he hugged everyone that was on his sight with the prettiest smile you had ever seen, her teeth showing up as white pearls.

While he was going into stage he looked at you with sparkling eyes opening his arms, like he was signalling you to come over and celebrate it with you. And right in that moment you couldn't help yourself but run into his arms as he gave you a big bear hug almost making you cry on the process and being captured by the cameraman/woman making everyone on the stadium and at home gasp in surprise.

At first the stadium went silent due to the shock, but after a few seconds it exploded in screams and applauses thanks to the cute act everyone had seen.

"Congratulations gunwookie"you said into his neck

He couldn't mouth a single word, he just held you tightly against him.

.

.

.

After the finale and all the celebration, it was time to face reality again. You had hugged gunwook in front of an audience, and national television! The problems you were gonna have were a few.

You texted your boyfriend to tell him your now current concern that also involved him, so you were kinds surprised that he didn't freak out yet because you were starting to do so.

-OMG gunwook I'm so sorry 😭😭😭

-sorry? For what?

You couldn't understand how he could be so calm about the situation, like he hadn't even debut and you just started dating rumours about him, you felt horrible.

-I mean hugging in you in national tv and in front of an audience? If I destroy your career I'll dig myself into a hole and cry for months, you deserve to debut baby :((

-oh but I don't mind that baby, in fact I'm willing to share about out relationship :))

-but...

-Look y/n I love what I do, I really do, but what I love over all things is you <3

You felt your heart tug a little and a feeling of proud spreading inside of you, he really knew how to make your heart flutter.

-I love you too, it's just I was a bit scared of ruining your debut, but we'll have to still clear it up to the public I guess

And that's exactly what you did, because wake one had called you fot a meeting to confirm if your relationship was real, to which you both affirmed it.

And as you revealed it to the rest of the people you got rid of your fears and the public opinion because the only thing that mattered to you was gunwook. He really was your whole world <3

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[hetalia-club]

Finally i don't feel alone in thinking the fandom is toxic, because I had to deal with a horrible amount of ableism (for literal disabilities I have and apparently someone thought I was incontinent and basically compared incontinent people to diaperfuckers) and even still I have to hide behind anon due to the fact the fandom also has a problem with stalking too, since i have been stalked by people who made private accounts around me and screenshotting everything I said to the point I had to actually talk to someone from the Trevor Project because I genuinely did not feel safe

apologies for the rambling, this fandom isn't normal about disabled people

Honey I'm so sorry :(. Yes people are mean and something about this fandom normalizes it. Idk what it is exactly. People say it's 'always been this way' and while that's true it HAS gotten WORSE. mainly because the fandom is smaller and the assholes just sort of all form a cult together and thrive off each others negativity. They say the people with the worse opinions are the loudest and that couldn't be more true within this fandom.

Also the ability to go fully anonymous on this sight is both a blessing and a plague. I do feel that there SHOULD be a way to find out who the anon was. I myself have been consistently harassed by a Spain kin for almost 5 years. It used to really get to me and it doesn't anymore. I truly just no longer give a shit. I went on Hiatus for 2 years and they CAME BACK! Like they were waiting in the shadows and like a bond vilian just turned in their chair and were like "well well well...". It's just kind of funny if you think about it I live rent free in their dome and they don't even know me. An I can't block them because they are always on anon. So I just delete it and carry on with my life. Last year my therapist diagnosed me with Avoidant Personality Disorder and it answered a lot of questions I've always had about myself. Which means I am an extremely shy person chronically so. I take things to heart even if I shouldn't. I feel things very deeply for myself and for other people and animals. My therapist taught me some tools to try and help me deal and I got an increase in my meds. One of those was to not watch the news or actively sought out negative events because those destroy me. I just can't take it. It's a huge trigger for me and I wish it wasn't I don't like the idea that I make it about me' in some way. It doesn't really do much but it numbs me a bit and makes me care less. It still affects me sure but I feel too unbothered to care. My AI covers have been a HUGE stress relief for me and a good distraction from my feelings. But again it's just a distraction. They are little boosts of serotonin to make and it makes me happy and it makes me even happier when someone enjoys it.

The reason I tell you this is to help you understand that no one really gives a shit. That sounds harsh but please let me elaborate on that. I mean I have straight told people "I am legit too shy to function and I do not like to talk about certain things because it gives me major embarrassment that can last actual days. Can we find a new topic or maybe pivot." but they don't actually listen to me about it. And I understand that it's hard to remember everyone's little quirks but to constantly have to remind people and for them to just "Oh yeah sorry... anyway like I was saying" really stings. Because of my disorder you can imagine I have an extremely hard time speaking my mind and standing up for myself. I want everyone to like me I don't want anyone to dislike me to a fault. I will ignore my own feelings and emotions to let others speak about what makes them happy even if sometimes it does sting. So I actually very much do know exactly where you are coming from with that. Just please remember that these are strangers online. Yes they can say hurtful things but the second you close teh app they disappear. They don't actually matter. And YES I am fully aware that this is easier said than done please believe me on that.

This fandom does have a serious issue with ignoring and disrespecting others disabilities. Especially some that are not really heard about/normalized much like yours or mine. I 100% know everyone thinks I'm lying about my personality disorder being a real thing If they don't want to understand me I can't make them, which sucks but I have no control over that. I wish it were not that way but we can't change other people and the way they think/ act but we can work on ourselves and how we process harassment. I wish you luck anon, you're never alone on this bitch of an earth, love you <3

[riddle-me-ri]

Please do

A/N: ahaha I need to watch what I say in the tags rip. I reached out to @curleddoobles and asked if it was cool for me to write this request based on their drawing, and they were totally cool with it which made me super excited to get to write this, lol. If you haven’t checked out their art, I highly recommend it, their Eddie is top tier and I live for this small series of Riddler x Various Henchpersons, it gives me so much serotonin and feeds my flirty evasive Eddie addiction I need to be met at least once a week. This is just my general Ed, I can see a handful of Eddie’s doing this lol. This is sorta a mix of how he’s portrayed in the drawings and how I perceive him as a whole. Also sorry this escalated from flirty fun to some actual emotions real quick in the middle rip, I can’t help it I’m down bad for this man.

Trigger Warnings: none, just a bunch of flirting and suggestive language

Word Count: 1.6 k

Riddler x Receptionist F!Reader - Flirting on the Clock

Being the bookie for The Peguin had it’s ups and downs. 

The pay was fantastic, you were well protected, and the work wasn’t all that grueling. However, there was still the matter of literal criminals and supervillains walking in and out of the Iceberg Lounge, and you being the first and last person they see each time. 

They got to know you, recognize you. Some you wish wouldn’t bat an eye at you (Joker, Killer Croc, and even the Creeper every now and then). 

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite book keep. Tell me, just how do you manage to look more gorgeous than you did, yesterday?” 

Then there was The Riddler. Edward Nygma, although he always insisted you call him Eddie. 

You never minded when he came around. In fact, you often wished the night before to run into him again. Yeah, he was a villain, but at least he was courteous and respectful…and an absolutely shameless flirt. You couldn’t say you minded though.

“Edward, I’m Oswald’s only bookie. And…I honestly don’t know, that may just be one riddle for me to know and you to never figure out.” You shrugged playfully, as you stacked some documents together. 

Ed circled around to the side of your desk and propped himself up on the edge of it. Always one to make himself immediately at home. He started to take off his jacket and placed his cane on the other side of your desk. 

“Now, Y/N, don’t be silly, you know there isn’t a riddle I can’t solve.” Ed scoffed. 

“What if I’m just that beautiful, so gorgeous beyond possible logical parameters?” You giggled. 

“That’s not exactly far from the truth.” Ed muttered under his breath. 

He held his jacket on his arm, before you slid it off and spread it out on your lap below your desk. Being the receptionist at a lounge with an ice theme did have it’s setbacks, that combined with the dress code calling for skirts, it got pretty chilly. 

“I hope you don’t mind, Eddie, it gets quite cold as you can imagine. Any additional layers will help.” 

“N-No, not at all.” He just couldn’t figure out why the gesture made his heart have the slightest bit of palpations. Possibly because his brain began plotting of alternative ways to keep you warm. 

You smiled at him. “Thanks, Eddie. You’re the best.” You grabbed his bicep and gave it an affectionate squeeze. 

“I know.” He smirked, trying to get back into his groove. 

“So, what’s the occasion this time? Surely you didn’t just come to see little ol’ me.” 

“Is that so hard to believe?” 

“Well, that’s never been the case before. Usually when you rogues gather its for some meeting or council or another…and I have seen a few others come in before you.” You informed. 

Edward scooted along the edge of your desk, before setting aside some of your stacks of documents and folders further down the other side of your desk. The lanky man began making himself even more comfortable, as he reclined on his side, directly on top of your desk. 

“Just who should I be expecting in there, dear?” Ed asked nonchalantly, looking over your work. 

“Hmm…well, there’s Oz. Harvey, Jervis, Basil, Jonathan, Victor…Victor Zsasz, and then there’s this other guy..” You dragged on. 

“Hm?” Ed quirked an eyebrow and stole a glance from the papers to you. 

“Yeah, he’s super smart, brilliant even. A sight for sore eyes, he looks too good for his own good..” You murmured into his ear. You set your elbows on your desk, not far from his torso, and laid your head in the palm of your hand, staring at the enigmatic man. 

“Ah, yes, he sounds familiar now.” Ed smirked. 

“He also has an unusual habit towards using furniture as anything but it’s actual intended purposes.” You teased.

“Now, now, last I checked I was welcome to do as I please…”

“You’re laying down on a hard wooden desk, surely that can’t be comfortable.” You tilted your head to the side. 

“Oh, do you have other alternatives?” He practically purred. He continued to ignore making eye contact with you by flipping through the list of guests Oswald had listed for you that day. 

“I-um-well…not exactly here…” You mumbled sheepishly. 

Ed chuckled at that. “I was thinking of a bed as well, perhaps another time.”

“H-Hey, you’re not going to bed me that easy, Nygma!” You tried to say defiantly, knowing deep down it actually would have been that easy. 

He snickered. “No, no of course not, darling. I would never demean you like that, you deserve nothing short of the best.” 

“Eddie…be careful, if I didn’t know better I’d suspect you were actually considering dating me.” You playfully shoved his shoulder. 

“I have considered it, many times, actually.” He admitted. 

Edward Nygma was a lot of things, but you knew when he was being honest. 

“Really?” You leaned over closer to him, looking over the list along with him. Both of you knowing that these names meant nothing to you two in this moment. 

“Yes. I have, perhaps, some time?” He glanced back over to you, and your eyes catch his emerald green ones. 

“I’d like that, Eddie.” You smiled sweetly, as you leaned into his shoulder for a minute. 

Edward smiled back at you. 

A minute of comfortable silence hung between you two. Before Ed went and snatched the pen that was tucked in your ear. 

“Wha-Ed?”

“Who makes these droll lists? Oswald?” 

“Who else?” 

“Hmm…do you have a green pen?”

“Are you going to vandalize my documents because you’re bored, again?” You asked. Unbeknownst to Ed, you actually kept all the little scribbles he did when he spoke to you at your desk. 

All the question marks, all the doodles of angry penguin faces, sad joker faces, and more angry faces of scarecrows and mad hatters. You kept them all. Especially the one with little question marks and hearts on a post-it note.

Edward responded by holding out his hand, his black gloved fingers rolling and unrolling in a grabbing motion. You rolled your eyes but opened up the drawer under your desk and grabbed his favorite pen. 

“You need to start replenishing my pens, I’m going to run out pretty soon.” You joked. 

“Oswald doesn’t keep you well stocked?” Edward immediately took to scribbling away on the list. No doubt drawing insulting doodles alongside the name of a fellow rogue. 

“Not with pens, I have to get those myself!” You exclaimed. 

“Hmm…if that’s the case, I’ll think about it.” He muttered. 

“Uh huh…sure…” 

“Did I ever tell you about the time Jonathan and I…” 

You always did enjoy his stories of his capers. Sometimes they mostly starred him, but every now and then he found himself partnered up with another villain. Often times it was with Jonathan or Jervis, you swear the three of them were the biggest dorks you’ve ever met. Their stories just continued to prove such a statement. 

However you found yourself at the edge of your seat every time. You never could imagine yourself getting anymore tangled in Gotham’s underground than what you already were, but you would be teasing yourself if it didn’t absolutely thrill you. 

Not to mention, you genuinely just enjoyed listening to Edward’s voice. Theatric, musical, and rich, you were quick to listen to every word. You knew how much this inflated his already incredibly large ego, but you couldn’t help it. 

He was just so damn endearing, charming, and a breath of fresh air from all the weirdos and creeps you often dealt with on a regular basis. 

“NYGMA! Excuse me for interrupting your little…erm visit, but that desk is not for lounging!” Oswald began waddling his way towards your desk. Edward almost jumped up off the desk at Oswald’s loud shriek. 

Ed turned around to face the owner. Immediately he sat up and hopped off in front of your desk. “Last I checked lounge was in the name of your establishment, Oswald.” 

Oswald growled annoyed. “Quit flirting with my receptionist! I’m sure she doesn’t need you bothering her with your incessant riddles and obnoxious lack of personal space.” 

Edward held his hand to his chest in mock hurt. He looked over to you, “do I annoy you, darling?” 

“No! Not at-”

“YES! Yes you do! Come on! The others are waiting!” Oswald grumbled. He got behind the tall man and began pushing him away from your desk, like a stern mother trying to get her disobedient child to leave the playground. 

“I’m going, I’m going. Don’t touch me!” Ed snapped. 

You couldn’t help but giggle at the display. Sometimes you had to remind yourself these were grown men, criminals even.

You felt fabric slowly slide down your legs. 

Oh!

“Eddie! What about your jacket?” You asked, as you stood up from your desk, about to run over to catch up to the two of them. 

“Keep it, my dear! I’ll grab it on my way out, stay warm!” He looked over his shoulder at you to give you a wink. 

Oswald jumped up and shoved Edward’s face back in the direction they were walking. “Keep walking! She’ll hang on to it for you.”

“Stop. Touching. Me! Oswald!” 

“Quit laying on my desks and tables and stop flirting with my receptionist!” Oswald barked back. 

You continue to laugh at the exchange as you situated yourself back in your seat. You tucked in the jacket under your legs to keep it from slipping down again. You tried to get back to work, filing some invoices and starting the designs of some more invites to the Iceberg Lounge. 

You grabbed the list that Ed insisted on doodling over, but was surprised to not see that many actual doodles on it. 

There were however some question marks and hearts around his name, under it was a hastily drawn arrow pointing to a phone number.

[outpost51]

The 51 Post

Figured I'd start some kind of digest!

Contents:

Things You Might Have Missed

This Week's Jams

WIP Breakdowns

From the Skwad

Around the 'Blr

Things You Might Have Missed:

I've got a taglist form now! Because who doesn't love a good form?

BRHP: Chapter 14 posted; Atria learns the meaning of touch starvation and really, really misses her dad.

WIP Intro: Caught in the Crossfire (18+)

WIP Intro: The Arsonist Chronicles (18+)

WIP Whenever (Open Tag): BRHP chapter 15 snippet; pop pop is having a time time

Crossing Over: the 5th entry into the Lighthouse in the Fog shorts; a new player has entered the fray, and a familiar face reappears.

Vampire Council lore and vampire origins lore

Aria/Omega snippety snip

This Week's Jams:

friends like these || Brassie [spotify/youtube]

Little Girl Gone || CHINCHILLA [spotify/youtube]

EVERGREEN || PVRIS [spotify/youtube]

Eyes on Fire || Gold Souls [spotify/youtube]

WHEN THE PARTY'S OVER || Cami Petyn [spotify/youtube]

Lizard Lady || Laura Doggett [spotify/youtube]

WIP Breakdowns:

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Chapter 15 should be coming out later today, with 16 slated for release sometime late this week or early next week. I'm finally in the chapters that don't require a ton of rewrites; most of what I've been doing is adding content. The whole thing is outlined through chapter 30 though! Since this is my entry for WIP Big Bang, updates will "stop" at chapter 18, since that's what I had published before the rewrites. After that, you'll have to wait for the release date! Which also means I have to wait for the release date for the serotonin, and that's going to be a nightmare.

Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go F*ck Yourself

At this point, it's just a matter of making myself work on it. About a third of chapter 9 is written and the entirety of Act II is outlined.

Blinding Neon, Shades of Grey

nervous laughter

Stellar Parallax

Fuck, I missed this WIP. I missed Jane especially, she's so fun to write -- I'm about a third of the way into chapter 9 and it seems to be flowing pretty well? I just wanna get to the part where she and Saren beat the shit out of each other LMAO

Lighthouse in the Fog

Dunno if y'all saw, but the lighthouse keeper stories have a tag and a tentative title now! It's going to remain as a series of loosely connected shorts, and that may very well be what I end up doing with Xatal as well. Anyway, we have some lore groundwork laid! Look out for the 6th short later today!

In the Works

I still have questions in my inbox that I am absolutely getting to! I've also got a bunch of unanswered tags in my drafts and Notion. Losing a week and a half of planned answer time threw my schedule WAY off. Submission for SSSC #006 is in the planning stage. Hannah and the MILF Squad Get Up To No Good is about 30% written and fully outlined. I have... so many Kryterius prompts left to fill, and so many more spotify wrapped prompts left, send help. Still working on separating out the Daddy Issues smutshots, hoping to finish up the rewrites for the F!Shali one before the end of July. TIPYNTS is most likely going to come out in October, and by then I'm hoping to have a backlog of chapters to make posting more consistent.

From the Skwad:

Door's always open! 18+ writing server for both fanworks and original works! Camp is starting soon! We also have a flash fiction challenge and three bingo cards running until the end of the month!

@teamdilf continues to absolutely baffle me with her productivity here we go: A Cheesy Situation is now complete, ch 16 of Alice's Adventures in Andromeda is live, ch 18 of The In-Laws and the Grandparents is live, A Night in the IKEA dropped which I'm absolutely dying over, and that's not even all of it. holy shit J i don't know how you do it but i'll have whatever you're having thx

@thetrashbagswasteland dropped ch 4 of the Sunseeker rewrite and I'm adsfdafdadsf yes. thank you king

@sparatus is tearing me to fucking pieces with Make Less the Depth of Grief. i hate you (i love you)

@uraniumwriting also obliterated me with their FFF entry.

@wrathbites is back and I'm literally beside myself I missed the Vampire AU so fucking much.

oops @commander-krios got me invested in Star Wars please look at this.

@starknstarwars updated Smuggler's Ruin aaaaaaaaaaaaa

A few of our members participated in Shenko Summer!! @dandenbo wrote Volta and @mrsd-writes wrote both We Got Here the Hard Way and Forever Home!

@regalbois dropped a new original oneshot and has been going bananas over Bioshock lately and gifting us MORE mlm deliciousness, ch 3 of Magnum Opus went live last night.

@inflarescent has a new wippppp aaaaaaa -- intro post for The Roulette Paradox here!

@discoeffect updated Far From Any Road and I am devouring the first book so I can read this one!!

Around the 'Blr:

Have you checked out the Writeblr Directory or Writeblr Cafe yet?

I'm literally still thinking about @captain-kraken's Heitha translator.

@void-botanist dropped some witch lore I'm eating with a spoon.

@tc-doherty ALSO popped off with the conlang.

The dates IRL are lining up with the dates in @elshells's Agent Ace EXCITING also a new chapter is dropping probably by the time I post this lmao

@liv-is dropped this GOLDMINE of relationship writing tips also TIL what Liv does for a living not sorry

@writernopal first of all made me absolutely CRY being sweet in the tags last night and also dropped an aasoaf 3 sneep while i was composing this thank you my friend i needed the energy snack

did y'all see Find the Word XVIII from @artdecosupernova-writing i'm going FERAL

@tabswrites's Silver Sentinels has a second chapter, I am VIBRATING

@oh-no-another-idea just slid in with this little diddy that i LOVE.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Outpost Updates Taglist: @tabswrites @writernopal @freedominique @asher-orion-writes @liv-is @starknstarwars @captain-kraken

Ask to +/- in the tags, replies, DMs, or HERE!