#which seems bizarre except it looks better than the way i do it.

[beheeyemite]

Made a transparent version of the new sonic channel artwork and then I used it to practice drawing this things face.

Bonus haircut Silver from when I was joking around w my siblings.

[p0orbaby]

Finders Keepers

summary: you’re good at catching things, leah’s eye is one of them

warnings: a little suggestive

a/n: thank you for the request !

word count: 2k

-

You’re the new goalkeeper coach for the Lionesses, which is great, except for one glaring problem: Leah Williamson. She’s distracting, in the way that a house fire distracts you from finishing your cup of tea. You’ve never coached a team that required so much attention to detail, and you’re starting to understand why. You need every neuron firing just to remember how to breathe when she’s in the vicinity, let alone when she’s talking to you.

And she talks to you a lot. It’s not always about goalkeeping either, which is alarming, because you’re really only equipped to discuss which angle to cover or how to improve reaction time. Instead, she wants to talk about where you’re from, what you think of London, whether or not you like Thai food. She asks you about your star sign once, which is bizarre because you’re not sure if she believes in that sort of thing or is just trying to make you sweat. You lie and say you’re a Pisces, mostly because it seems like the least offensive answer, and she nods like that explains something.

You try to keep your interactions professional, but she makes it difficult. For instance, Leah has a habit of “accidentally” bumping into you. She claims it’s because she’s got bad spatial awareness, but you’re fairly certain she just likes the way you flinch when she does it. You’ve read somewhere that “accidental” touch is a sign of attraction, but you’re not sure if that applies when the person doing the touching has the coordination of an european champion.

One day after training, she lingers on the pitch while you’re gathering up cones, which you suspect is an attempt to chat you up. She watches you with a smirk, and you can feel her eyes burning into the back of your head like an exceptionally focused laser pointer.

“You missed one,” she says, pointing out a cone about three feet to your right. You didn’t miss it, but you pick it up anyway because you can’t think of anything better to do.

“Thanks,” you mumble, trying not to meet her eyes, because when you do, it’s like looking directly at the sun. Leah Williamson is a human eclipse, and you’re about to go blind from prolonged exposure.

“No problem,” she replies, not moving.

She’s still standing there when you finish. You’re holding a bag of cones and looking for an escape route, but she’s planted herself directly in your path like she’s grown roots.

“You’re not running off, are you?” she asks, with the kind of grin that makes you wish you’d pursued a career in something less perilous, like bomb disposal.

“I was thinking about it,” you admit, and she laughs, which is a mistake because her laugh does things to you—dangerous, uncoachable things.

“You’re cute,” she says, and now you’re actively searching for the nearest exit, because if she keeps this up, you’re going to do something really stupid, like ask her out for coffee or give her your social security number.

“Uh, thanks,” you stammer, clutching the bag of cones like it’s a life preserver.

She tilts her head, clearly amused by your discomfort. “No need to be nervous,” she says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world to relax when Leah Williamson is standing less than a foot away from you.

You’re not nervous, you want to say, but that would be a lie, and you’re not about to start lying to yourself, not when you’ve done such a good job of repressing your feelings up until this point.

“Well,” you say, taking a step back, “I should probably—”

“Want to get a drink?” she interrupts, like she’s asking you if you want to grab a sandwich, and you nearly drop the cones because your brain can’t process the words coming out of her mouth.

“What?” you blurt out, because that’s all your synapses can muster.

“A drink,” she repeats, like it’s the most normal thing in the world for a player to ask out their coach. “You know, alcohol? Liquid courage?”

You’re pretty sure you’ve just suffered a minor stroke, because the world tilts sideways and your pulse goes through the roof. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” you manage to say, which is the understatement of the year, considering the fact that you’ve spent the last three months trying to convince yourself that Leah is just another player on the team, and not the walking, talking embodiment of temptation.

“Why not?” she asks, and you can tell by her tone that she’s genuinely curious, like the idea of you turning her down is as foreign to her as the concept of gravity.

“Because,” you start, then pause, because you don’t have a good reason, and she knows it.

“Because?” she prompts, raising an eyebrow.

“Because it’s unprofessional,” you say finally, as if professionalism is something you’ve ever been good at.

“We’re not at work now,” she points out, and you hate that she’s right. You hate that she’s standing so close to you that you can see the tiny freckle just above her left eyebrow. You hate that you want to reach out and touch it, trace the shape of her face with your fingers.

“Leah—” you start, but she cuts you off by taking a step forward, closing the gap between you. She’s close enough now that you can smell the faint hint of her shampoo, something fresh and citrusy that makes you want to bury your face in her hair and never come up for air.

“I’ll see you later, then,” she says, and it’s not a question.

-

You don’t know why you go. Maybe it’s because you’ve never been particularly good at saying no, or maybe it’s because the idea of Leah waiting for you is too tempting to resist. Either way, you find yourself standing outside the pub, staring at the sign like it’s going to give you the answers to the universe.

Inside, Leah’s already at the bar, leaning against the counter with the kind of casual confidence that makes you wonder if she’s ever had an awkward moment in her life. When she spots you, she grins, and it’s like the sun coming out from behind the clouds.

“You made it,” she says, as if there was any doubt.

“Yeah,” you reply, because what else can you say? I’m here because I’m an idiot? I’m here because I can’t stop thinking about you? I’m here because I’m trying really hard not to fall in love with you and failing miserably?

“Drink?” she asks, holding up her pint glass.

“Sure,” you say, because if you’re going to make bad decisions, you might as well make them with alcohol in your system.

She orders you a drink, something that tastes like it should be served in a coconut with an umbrella, but you don’t complain because it’s delicious and also because Leah’s eyes are twinkling in that way that makes your stomach do somersaults.

“So,” she says after a moment, “why don’t you want to go out with me?”

The question hits you like a freight train. “I never said that,” you protest, but your voice is weak, like you’re already losing this battle.

“You didn’t have to,” she replies, taking a sip of her drink and watching you over the rim of the glass. “But you’re not very good at hiding it”

“I’m not?” you ask, horrified at the idea that your feelings might be more obvious than you’d like to admit.

“Nope,” she says, popping the “p” in a way that should be illegal. “It’s written all over your face”

“Oh.” You stare into your drink, wondering if it’s possible to drown in a pint glass.

“But it’s okay,” she continues, and now she’s leaning in closer, her knee brushing against yours under the table. “Because I’m not really good at hiding it either”

And that’s when you know you’re completely, irrevocably screwed.

-

It’s not a relationship, you tell yourself, because relationships require labels, and what you and Leah have is more like an ongoing series of bad decisions strung together by moments of sheer idiocy.

You try to keep things professional, but it’s difficult when she keeps showing up at your door with that grin and that laugh and those hands that seem to know exactly where to touch you to make your brain short-circuit.

One night, after you’ve spent far too long convincing yourself that you’re strong enough to resist her, she shows up at your flat with food and a bottle of wine. You know it’s a trap, but you let her in anyway, because you’re a sucker for Thai fried rice and bad decisions.

You spend the evening on the settee, eating and drinking and pretending like you’re not going to end up in bed together by the end of the night. You watch some terrible low budget comedy that Leah picked out, and you’re about halfway through when she starts inching closer to you, like she’s trying to be subtle but failing spectacularly.

“You’re sitting awfully close,” you point out, because it’s either that or spontaneously combust from the proximity.

“Am I?” she asks innocently, but there’s a twinkle in her eye that tells you she knows exactly what she’s doing.

“Yes,” you reply, but you don’t move away, because if you’re going to go down in flames, you might as well enjoy the heat.

She grins, and then her hand is on your thigh, fingers tracing patterns that make your heart race. “I think you like it,” she says, and it’s not a question.

“I think you’re trouble,” you counter, but you don’t stop her when she leans in and kisses you, soft and slow, like she’s got all the time in the world.

You kiss her back, because you’re weak and because she tastes like wine and because you’re tired of pretending like this isn’t exactly what you want.

The rest of the movie is forgotten as you tumble into bed together, a mess of tangled limbs and breathless laughter. It’s fast and frantic, like you’re both trying to make up for lost time, and when it’s over, you’re left lying there, staring at the ceiling and wondering how you got here.

“Don’t think too hard,” Leah murmurs, her head resting on your chest, and you can feel her breath against your skin, warm and steady. “You’ll hurt yourself”

“Too late,” you mutter, but you don’t push her away, because despite everything, despite all the reasons this is a terrible idea, you like the way she feels next to you.

“We’re a disaster,” you say after a while, because the silence is starting to make you anxious, and you’ve never been good at sitting with your own thoughts.

“I know,” she replies, and you can hear the smile in her voice. “But we’re a fun disaster”

You can’t argue with that, so you don’t. Instead, you close your eyes and let yourself drift off, hoping that when you wake up, you won’t regret this as much as you probably should.

-

You start seeing each other regularly after that, though you both refuse to call it dating. Dating implies a level of commitment that you’re not ready to acknowledge, and anyway, this is more like…mutual self-destruction with benefits.

You try to keep it a secret from the team, but you’re fairly certain they’re onto you. Especially after that time Leah practically tackled you during training because she “tripped” over her own feet, which would be believable if she wasn’t literally the most coordinated person you’ve ever met.

“You’re an idiot,” you tell her later, as you’re trying to pry her off of you in the changing room, but she just laughs and kisses you on the cheek, because apparently she’s incapable of taking anything seriously.

“I’m your idiot,” she replies, and you hate how much you love the sound of that.

You’re not sure how long this can go on before everything blows up in your face, but for now, you’re content to keep making the same mistakes over and over again. After all, if you’re going to screw up, you might as well do it with someone who makes it fun.

And Leah Williamson, for all her flaws, is nothing if not fun.

Even if she is going to be the death of you.

[toa-arania]

Gender is such a fascinating thing in Bionicle because objectively why is it there? Why do the biomechanical maintenance nanobots of a giant robot have gender? Or, more accurately, why do they have a gender binary? The gender binary as we understand it is (unfortunately) heavily linked to biological sex, something that MU bionicles don't have. The logical answer is that the Great Beings gave them gender to be reflective of their own society, where there are biological beings that reproduce biologically and have a gender binary that presumably sprouted from that, at least initially. However, despite giving them gender, they didn't give them any kind of sexual dimorphism, and for this we want to look at some of the non-matoran species and how they interact with gender.

The Vortixx are a society heavily stratified by gender - being 'male' or 'female' is more like a class system, with females as the upper class and males as the lower, working class. It's very reminiscent of the Orions from Star Trek. Additionally, we know that the species is not sexually dimorphic. Yes, the species that produced Dommy Mommy Roodaka, with her heels, ass, tits, and ponytail, is not sexually dimorphic. We see in one of the comics that a Vortixx confirmed to be male also just looks like that, and honestly we love that for him. He even has the rhotuka ripcord that kinda looks like a riding crop. We know that the Vortixx were created by Mata Nui rather than the Great Beings directly, so is it perhaps possible that because their perception of gender made no sense to apply to the MU inhabitants, Mata Nui compensated by having gender present itself in other ways?

Consider also the Skakdi, where the only thing we know (at least as far as I'm aware) about their relationship with gender is that there are female Skakdi, and that they are more violent and destructive than the males. We have never seen one, and we know so little to the point where I actually thought for a while that the Skakdi were a single-gender species. Like the non-GSR characters in Bionicle, they were given their elemental associations separately from their genders, and we've seen nothing to suggest that gender has any bearing on their society aside from disposition.

Then we come to the Matoran. For Matoran, gender is quite frankly fucking bizarre. The Av-Matoran were the first type to be made, and they are also the only type that can be more than one gender. The doylist explanation for that is so that they can blend into other Matoran types better, but that doesn't make any sense because those other types didn't exist yet. We do have a quote from Greg about gender in the Matoran, where it's stated to be a psychological difference rather than a physiological one, where the 'feminine' elements are calmer peacemakers, which is an absolutely fascinating quote because it's completely untrue. It might be true about the Ga-Matoran (with notable exceptions like Hahli), but it sure ain't true of the Vo-Matoran and Ce-Matoran, where our two primary examples are Chiara (electrocutes a lizard to make the point that females aren't gentle) and Varian (tortures Norik with nightmares for fun). There's also Orde but I genuinely have no idea what to do about him. He claims that he got all Ce-Matoran made into women to make them chiller and it clearly didn't fucking work so other than I guess the pitch of their voice there just isn't any observable difference.

What is demonstrably true is how general disposition does seem to vary between individual elements, and since Greg has confirmed that gender in Bionicle is a psychological variation that affects outlook and disposition, I honestly do not think it's a stretch to say that, at least for the Matoran, each of the fifteen elements is a separate gender. Honestly this even makes the elemental prefixes neopronouns, from a certain perspective. The Shadow Matoran are also fascinating to look at from this angle because they don't ordinarily exist; they're made from other kinds of matoran - the fifteen 'standard' genders if you will. They don't call themselves Kra-Matoran because they aren't a defined group, and they never think of themselves as one. They go back to what they were beforehand perfectly fine and at least act better off for it - with one exception. Gavla (the only female Av-Matoran we actually meet, who feels ostracised from her community) wanted to stay a Shadow Matoran, a kind of Matoran outside the standard concept of what elements they could be because she felt wrong as an Av-Matoran, and as a Shadow Matoran she felt more like herself. All this is to say:

Gavla Bionicle is Transgender and Non-Binary, have a nice day.

[raymantogether]

Rayman Together Community Spotlight #4 - MarkedAsUnreal

Introduction:

Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc was published by Ubisoft Paris and released on February 21st, 2003, in Europe and in March 2003 worldwide. That was almost 22 years ago. Feeling old yet? Well, Ubisoft did release Rayman 3: HD in 2012, but we won't talk about that. Rayman 3 is undoubtedly a fan favorite in the series thanks to its whimsical but very risque adult humor. The game is also critically acclaimed thanks to its very fun and diverse 3D platforming and its exceptional cast of characters and enemies. Nothing has ever come close in the series to the success of Rayman 3, in my opinion. And while I wait in hope for Ubisoft to bring back Rayman to his core 3D roots, I can't help thinking, Why doesn't Ubisoft just remake Rayman 3. 

Fortunately, this is no longer an issue. For this latest Rayman Together Community Spotlight, I have the pleasure of interviewing Marked As Unreal, a Rayman fan from Poland who is working on the Rayman 3 Fan Remake on YouTube. This ground-breaking development blog focuses upon reimaging Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc using Unreal Engine 5. The development process has been fascinating to watch, and this has become undoubtedly a favorite fan project of mine. The results have been spectacular, and the game looks simply incredible. You can see the results for yourself below from these comparison shots.

(Rayman 3: Unreal Engine Fan Remake)

(Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc)

(Rayman 3: Unreal Engine Fan Remake)

(Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc)

So sit back and relax as this latest community spotlight takes you into more detail about the genius behind the Rayman 3: Fan Remake and a more personal insight into this amazing community project. 

Spotlight:

1. Please introduce yourself.

"Hi! I’m Mark. I’m a gaming enthusiast from Poland who dreams of making his own small indie title one day. To help me achieve that goal, I’m currently trying to learn game development and Unreal Engine by remaking one of my favorite games of all time, Rayman 3. I didn’t have much coding or Unreal Engine experience prior to this project, but I did work as a 3D artist for almost 4 years. The most notable project I’ve worked on as a 3D artist was “The Medium” by the Bloober team. What was really awesome about this project is that its art style is based on Zdzislaw Beksinski’s paintings, who is a painter that I am a big fan of."

2. What do you do for a living?

"For most of the year I work at a campground doing maintenance, but in the summer I work at an ice cream/waffle shop."

3. What do you enjoy doing in your spare time

"I often play games and watch various shows when I’m looking to have a chill time. There are many games which I would consider my favorites, but to name a few (besides Rayman of course), there are the old Halo games, the Dead Space series, Old School RuneScape, Subnautica, the Bioshock series, Portal 2, Undertale, from software games, or the Respawn Entertainments Jedi series. As shows are considered, I lately find myself really enjoying anime. My favorites are Vinland Saga, Attack on Titan, and Jojo’s bizarre adventure. Jujustsu Kaisen is also really sick. Regarding more active ways to spend my free time, I really love bouldering (it’s a type of rock climbing) and snowboarding."

4. What got you into the Unreal Engine project on Rayman 3?

"Learning game development by trying to recreate one of my favorite games just seemed like it could be a ton of fun (and I wasn’t wrong, because it is a blast!). And I decided to go for Unreal Engine because I really wanted to try out the new features everyone was talking about (Nanite and Lumen). The fact that many AAA companies use Unreal Engine to make their games also made it feel like a better choice than Unity."

5. Tell us about your experience on the project with Rayman 3.

"The hardest part was the start, of course. I didn’t really know Unreal Engine, so doing the simplest things was a challenge. Every step required me to go through a tutorial first. Also, I started this project with the most complex part, while still having very little programming knowledge, which was coding in the characters movement and collision. On one hand, this was maybe not the wisest thing to start with, but on the other, I wanted to start with the hardest and most important part, to know if there is even a point in trying to make this game in the first place. Otherwise, I was at risk of doing something easy for half a year just to hit an unpassable wall. But you know, the greater the challenge, the greater the satisfaction once you overcome it. So, satisfying and fun are two main words that I would use to describe my experience working on this.

What’s also an amazing feeling is to have this complete freedom and agency over the project. I can make it look however I like, I can work on whatever I feel like working at the moment, and I can work at a pace that I feel like working at. It’s an amazing luxury that’s only possible because this is a passion project.

I’d also like to mention how cool of an experience it was working on the Teensie highway part of the level. Because of how surreal and random that part is, working on it felt very fresh and different. Not to mention that it was a nice way to see how much I’ve grown since I started this project, because while coding in all the logic for the surfboard Rayman, I could see how much easier this was for me to make in comparison to the regular Rayman that I was making when starting the project. Granted, the surfboard Rayman is much simpler in terms of complexity, but still, I felt like I could see a noticeable difference in my skill level. 

Finally, I can’t leave this question without mentioning what a great laugh I had when putting in all the drunken Teensies around the Heart of the World area. I love those guys, and creating all those little stories (like the two teens fighting on a ledge) was such a fun experience."

6. How has it been for you personally revisiting Rayman 3?

"To be honest, this doesn’t really feel like I’m revisiting the game, because I replay Rayman 3 fairly often, so it kind of feels like this game is never far off."

7. Are you planning to recreate the whole game in Unreal Engine?

"I’m sorry to say that no, I am not. It’s like I said in one of my first videos: this was always meant to be a learning opportunity for me, as well as a way to get a grasp on what project scope seems realistic for one person or a small team. If I had unlimited time, then I would love to recreate the whole game, because I love working on this. But the sad reality is that I'd probably be well in my 40s before the whole game would be remade. I’d like to be younger before I start working on my own games.

I’m not yet sure where exactly I will stop, but I am going to finish the fairy council level and share it, so everyone will have a chance to play it.

I haven’t really ever mentioned, though, what my plans are for the project; once I decide, it’s time for me to move on, so let me reveal them right now. My plan is to share the whole project for anyone to download and create a Discord server that will act as a hub for the project. I will be there to assist and help anyone who would like to make something using my remake (like continue from where I left off, make their own custom levels, or even just use some parts of it to create something else entirely).

8. Has anyone at Ubisoft or within the gaming industry approached you during your time sharing your development blogs on YouTube?

"No, no one has."

9. Are you planning to do any other Rayman games or any other videogames in Unreal Engine in the future after you have finished with Rayman 3?

"After the Rayman 3 remake, I will start making my own title. I already have a pretty clear idea of what that game is going to be; however, I’m not going to share that information yet. There is a lot of work left in this project, even just for the first level, so I’m still keeping my focus on the remake."

10. You are also a fan of the Unity Engine; can you tell us why?

"I just really enjoy working in it. It’s really cool that anyone can just download this software and start creating a game. I really like how the software is structured. I feel like it's really daunting at first, but once you get the hang of it, using it just makes sense. Nowadays, I don’t really need to revisit many tutorials on how to do some things because I find the whole user experience pretty neatly organized and logical. What’s also really cool is that a lot of features are pretty cutting edge and yet still free to use (this is a bit of a double-edged sword, however, as new features are often pretty risky to use as they are not yet properly tested for production)."

11. How did you get into the Rayman series?

"My first Rayman game was Rayman 1 on the PS1. I was probably around 4 years old or something like that, so I think that it goes without saying that I didn’t beat it back then (and still haven’t, but I never really went back to try). Then, if I’m remembering correctly, I found Rayman 2 lying in a supermarket on a heap with other games and managed to convince my mom to buy it. I was probably around 6. This one I did manage to beat, but it took a long time. Some parts were really challenging back then. Also, it was really hard for me to figure out that I needed to backtrack in order to help Clark. Then I think I got Rayman 3 around the time it came out, so I was probably like around 8. So old enough to beat this one without too many issues. This is also the one that I liked the most at the time. I vividly remember how the first time I booted Rayman 3, I had this weird bug where the left key didn’t work, and I thought that maybe this was intended. I figured that since Rayman doesn’t have his hands (because Globox runs off with them), he has problems with keeping his balance, and that explains why I can't run left. Let me tell you, trying to catch that barrel without the ability to run left was pretty impossible, haha. Luckily, rebooting the game fixed the issue."

12. What is your favorite Rayman game and character?

"My favorite game is either Rayman 2 or Rayman 3, depending on my mood. Both to me have their respective strengths and weaknesses, but both are absolutely amazing. Rayman 2 is unmatched in its atmosphere and level design. Rayman 3 has really fun combat encounters, and I like the characters (design and writing) much more. And the whole Knaaren desert level is just so awesome! When I was a kid, my favorite character was straight up Rayman, but now it’s definitely the teensies. Though Globox from Rayman 3 is a close second place. Whenever I play Rayman Legends, I usually play as a teensie (but if I don’t feel like playing as a teensie, I always go for Rayomz)"

Thank you so much for being a part of my community spotlight, Marked As Unreal. It was a pleasure to read and see some of the creative processes behind the Rayman 3: Fan Remake. I look forward to seeing everything once it's complete. I wish you all the best with the development and in your future projects. 

Please don't forget to support Marked As Unreal. If you are eager to see more, I have included links to their social accounts below. Have a good weekend, Rayman fans. See you next time. 

MarkedAsUnreal Links:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marek-holubowski/

Rayman The Boardgame:

Rayman fans, don't forget Rayman: The Boardgame Kickstarter campaign ends on October 8th. There isn't much time until the end of the campaign. If you haven't already, don't forget to pledge and don't miss out on this amazing board game and some amazing bonuses. 

[gabessquishytum]

Not especially horny, but I had the thought of retired Dream having to learn corporeality again (like everyone, lol).

I specifically pictured him... being bad at Video games. He'd love them, they've got such beautiful stories, and it's so like a dream, the setting is something given and the player decides what they'll do.

But he's not that good, because he hasn't got the hand-eye coordination, and the buttons are just so fiddly, and so it becomes a regular occurrence for Hob to see Dream coming to him with pleading eyes, extending the controller his way.

And for every ledge he hops for Dream, for every monster he kills, he gets a kiss on the cheek. Hob loves it. He also loves watching Dream play, because even if it takes him a moment, he's so immersed, so excited about it.

After a few months Dream has gotten better at being human, but not at video games. It takes for Hob to come home early and finding Dream expertly smashing around a Zelda boss to find out that Dream has been... lying, a bit. He's very sorry about it, really, but he just likes when they do this together, and if Hob could forgive him?

But Hob just smiles and tells him about multiplayer games.

Dream is not, actually, good at those, because shortly after starting their first game together, because it turns out that kisses on the cheek for killed monsters are more difficult when you're both trying to look at the screen.

And it's even more difficult to kill said monsters when you've just discovered that apparently, your best friend/housemate is not at all against being kissed on the mouth.

This is the cutest thing I've ever read I'm literally dying!!! Also!!! I feel like we don't talk about Hob and video games enough and I think he would absolutely love them. He would spend hours staying up until 2am with his eyes aching from staring at the screen because he's so engrossed. And Minecraft!!! He would love Minecraft so much!!!!!!! So would Dream!!!!!!!! Imagine retired Dream making a whole little world in Minecraft and its like he can rediscover a spark of creativity he thought was utterly lost to him!!! Anyway.

So Dream starts out playing Kirby or something with pretty cute graphics and stories but. He does struggle with the jumping and the switching skills and so Hob is like ok. Let's try a different story kind of game. And then they try Zelda which Dream really loves but again. He's a little bad at it. Hob gets to be the hero, beats up the bosses, and Dream gets to run around doing silly little quests. Hob gets many kisses. All is right with the world.

He was a bit suspicious that Dream seems to be spending so much time on his games without his skills improving, but he doesn't exactly mind. The worse Dream is at killing monsters, the more kisses Hob gets. Except the truth is, Dream is now definitely better at the game than Hob...

And when Hob catches him beating a boss for the first time, of course he has to give Dream a kiss in return. A slow, soft kiss on the lips that makes Dream drop his controller and melt into Hob’s arms. Hopefully he saved his progress, because suddenly he's being carried off in the direction of Hob’s bedroom like Peach being carried off by Bowzer (only with a lot less protesting, and no pesky plumber coming to rescue him).

(I need you all to know that I really really really like golf games like Golf with Your Friends and Golf It so I have vivid scenarios in my brain about Dream and Hob playing together. The glitching golf balls. The bizarre courses. The rage. Hob making terrible puns about holes. Whoever wins on each hole gets a kiss. Hob absolutely loses on purpose so he can kiss his beloved <3)

[sebastianmichaelisslander]

for the ask game: grell for character and redcliff for ship :3

Aaah ofc! 🙏🏼💫 I’m still doing this though it’s been a while, btw!

Grelle

How I feel about this character:

first off, I think she’s beautiful, fr. Even before I got into Kuro, I saw her design and thought she was so pretty - and that was shortly before I started reading the manga.

I also think that she’s more complex than she gets credit for. When I write her, I like portraying what’s going on behind her queen facade - delve deeper into her psyche, her fears, how she really feels about every situation she’s in… I also think she’s very quick to act and has ended up saving her colleagues’ asses more than once, but that also means she’s impulsive and gets herself into far too much trouble.

Although she doesn’t show it, she really does regret letting her temper and jealousy get the better of her. She never got the love or support so many others she knew did, which is part of why she was resentful of her victims and others who had what she didn’t.

I also think she seems like the sort who, despite her shortcomings, has a great capacity for love and is loyal to a fault. I love showing all her layers and giving her even more.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Honestly, the only people I do ship her romantically with are William or Angelina. However, I don’t mind her with others she’s commonly paired off with, such as Mey-Rin (though I personally can’t see it sometimes), Sebastian (even if how Grelle is portrayed in fics with him often annoys me), Nina, Hannah, Undertaker, or anyone else lol.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Othello or Ronald would defo be her platonic soulmates, lol.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

She indeed is crazy about Sebastian, but more in an, “I want to fuck him and then bisect him with my scythe à la the black widow spider” sort of way. Does she wanna bang him? Yeaaaah. But by no means is she actually that into him romantically, lol.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I wish her inner life and backstory haven’t been explored more in the manga. Not only would this have the Grelle lovers more content, but it’ll also give us more to understand her better. I also want her to get the happy ending I think she deserves. 😭

My OTP:

Grelliam. 😂 tho I’m a multishipper at heart.

My crossover ship:

Don’t really have one. I do think Grelle and Hidan from Naruto would be fucking funny, though.

A headcanon fact:

Not my own headcanon, but some of my mutuals on here hc that Grelle is of Russian origin and can even speak the language. Which I love. I also like the German Grelle hc equally, lol.

Now, for the ship part.

Redcliff

When I started shipping it if I did:

After Angelina’s death in the manga. So much angst potential.

My thoughts:

I’ve always remembered wondering if those two did have something else going on. It even seemed as though their relationship transcended what’s platonic. However, though I do like the pairing, I don’t usually seek out that many fanfics for it as two weirdly specific pairings (Grelliam and SebTaker) are the only ones I think of 24/7.

I think they could either be incredibly wholesome or extremely toxic depending on how they’re written in specific fics and given the nature of their rapport. There’s so much potential to explore it in several different ways. Plus… the ANGST.

Things done in fanfic that annoy me:

Can’t really think of any atm, tbh.

Things I look for in fanfic:

I really want another, “what if Angelina lived?” AU, fr. I also like Bizarre Doll!Angelina fics.



Whom l'd be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Don’t @ me, but (alive) Angelina and Undertaker would be funny. 😂 /hj

Actually, I don’t really ship Angie with anyone except Grelle. But as for Grelle, defo William.

My happily ever after for them:

They’d probably actually try to make whatever they have going on a healthy, functional relationship if Angie lives. As for whether they have a family… maybe there’s the whole, “Grelle finds a baby and decides to keep it” thing.

Who is the big spoon / little spoon?

Grelle is definitely the big spoon. Angie sometimes takes over though, lol.

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Lots of things. They both would read tacky magazines and penny dreadfuls together, give each other their observations while people-watching, go shopping, probably do art together… another one would be Angie braiding Grelle’s hair and making her feel so pretty while doing it. 🥹

That’s it for now! Do send in more 😁 💓

[daydreamtravellog]

Alone Among The Stars - Takuma Okada

Shall we embark on our first adventure?

Alone Among the Stars was published alongside two other games in Alone On A Journey, which you can find here, and it was originally published separately for free here.

This is a solo journaling game in which you, as a solitary adventurer, discover new planets and the many unique features each one has.

To play this game, you will need:

A standard deck of 52 playing cards (minus the Jokers)

A d6

Something to write with (this instructions imply something physical, like a pencil and small journal, but I just used a Google Doc)

To discover a new planet, roll the d6 and draw that number of cards, placing them facedown. I arranged them like this:

Lucky me, a full six! Seems we'll have lots to explore on this planet...

Speaking of which, lets see what we find first! Roll the d6 to determine how you come across this discovery, and draw a card to determine what that discovery is.

I rolled a two this time, which means it was 'arduous to get to'. A card with the Spade suit indicates a 'Natural Phenomena', and the rank of King means that this discovery was 'floating in the air'.

With that determined, write a short description of the discovery, and your reaction to finding it. (Note - You do not have to format it in the way that I did going forward, I just did it this way to sort of simulate an entry or report in the ship's log.)

Observation: Spotted in the distance after disembarking. The terrain is very uneven and rocky, making travel difficult despite the lowered gravity. There appeared to be stones of very sizes above the ground, with roots or vines of some kind connecting them to the ground. 

Remarks: “This is such a bizarre planet! I thought they were some bizarre plant life from a distance, but that’s not it… It seems like without these roots, these rocks would just float away! They’re like natural balloons! I wonder what causes this kind of thing to happen?”

With that, lets see what we find next...

Another 2, another 'arduous to get to' discovery. The Diamond suit indicates 'Living Beings', and the rank of 2 means that this discovery was seen 'under the light of the moon(s)'.

Observation: Even the lowered gravity didn’t make ascending a tall tree to investigate easy. Once I was high enough, I could see that the glowing mass was a swarm of insects, glowing as if in response to the shine of this planet’s many moons.

Remarks: “There are so many moons in the sky here, the nights are extraordinary! I noticed a bunch of little glowing things flitting through the air above me, so I climbed up a tree to get a better look. I tell ya, you'd think lower gravity would make some physical activities easier, but a tall tree is a tall tree, no matter what force the world is pulling you down with. Anyway, when I got up there, I found that they were these weird insects. They reminded me of those iridescent beetles back on Earth, except these were bioluminescent! It was like watching gemstones dance through the air, it was lovely...”

And again...

Finally, a different roll! A four indicates that 'you come upon it suddenly'. The Diamond suit once again indicates 'Living Beings', but this time, the rank of Ace means that this discovery was found 'in a field taller than you'.

Observation: There is some kind of creature living in the tall grasses, but I didn’t get a good look at it. Whatever they are, they are very fast, and flatten the grass in their path. Remarks: “Whoa, there’s something really fast here! I was trying to make my way through this field of grass that was so tall it stood over my head, when suddenly I heard something moving around in the grass... All I really make out was a purplish blur, though. From above, the trampled grass almost looks like crop circles. I wonder why… A byproduct of how they move in pursuit of prey, perhaps?"

Between arduous terrain and mysterious creatures, traversing this planet certainly isn't easy, but at least it isn't dangerous!

A 5 indicates that 'you spot it as you are resting'. The Heart suit indicates 'Ruins', and the rank of 4 means that I spotted it 'in a steep canyon'.

Observation: There was a small river running though the bottom of a canyon, perfect for taking a short rest. However, while there I noticed a series of markings that couldn’t have been natural. The carvings of an ancient people, perhaps?

Remarks: “This looks interesting… I just sat down to take a breather in this canyon, and then I noticed something on the other side of the stream. There appears to be some kind of writing carved into the opposite wall of the canyon. Unfortunately, I have no idea what it says, and there are no pictures that may illustrate its meaning…”

Between the floating stones and deep canyons, this place seems pretty rocky, doesn't it? It also has trees and tall, lush fields... Maybe this is a mountainous planet?

A 6 indicates that 'you spot it as you are resting' as well, so it seems my break isn't over just yet. The Spade suit indicates another bit of 'Natural Phenomena', and a rank of 3 means that I spotted it 'by a gentle river'.

Observations: I decided my rest wasn’t over, so I sat back down for a little while longer. By some twist of fate, this allowed me to find yet another interesting sight. Light glimmering in my eyes from the edge of the stream. Prismatic bubbles began to rise from the surface of the water, catching the light in beautiful ways.

Remarks: “This planet never rests, eh? I sat down beneath the ancient texts to rest for a little longer, and suddenly there was light shining in my eyes! I opened my eyes, and bubbles were rising from the water’s surface! As they floated up, they caught the light, and… wow. Y’know how soap bubbles have the iridescent, rainbowy film to ‘em when you look closely? This was like that, cranked up to 11. I sat for a while and watched the balls of rainbow rise into the sky.”

Why do these strange phenomena happen? It's fun how this game can give you a small glimpse into an entirely new world.

Onto our final discovery of the day...

A discovery similar to the first, but not exactly. A 2 indicates that this one was yet another 'arduous to get to' discovery. The Diamond suit means that was have found another 'Ruin", and the rank of King means that it was 'floating in the air'.

Observation: Climbing some vines to a rock like the ones I found earlier, but much larger in size, I found an entire building atop the floating rock! It seems like the ancient people who used to live here were able to use this bizarre phenomena to their advantage…

Remarks: “More of the floating, vine-bound rocks! This one was huuuuge, though! I couldn’t resist the curiosity, and that bit me in the ass… climbing ain’t fun, I’ll say that much. At least my effort was rewarded, because I found an old house! Its in ruins, of course, but Im impressed by the ingenuity of the people that used to live here! I wonder if this would allow them to move their buildings by moving the vines, almost like a parade balloon…”

Having exhausted all of our cards, that means we just have one thing left to do: give this new planet a name! I'm not the best with coming up with names, so I'll leave this one up to Fantasy Name Generators...

This is where our adventure will conclude for now, as we blast off from the newly-dubbed 'Aihri', taking off into the stars once more.

You can continue by rolling your d6 again and drawing more cards to discover another planet, but for my first time this one took me awhile, so we'll close the book on planet-hopping for now.

I will mention that the instructions say "If you want to remember your travels, save the journal. If the memories bring you pain, burn it."

... I wrote all of this directly onto Tumblr via my laptop, so let's hope these memories never sour.

That's all from me! I hope you enjoyed this peaceful adventure, and who knows what's in store for the future? I hope this first post doesn't feel too rough, but please feel free to let me know if there is anything I can improve upon to make it a better experience!

Until next time, I bid you adieu, and we will meet again when there is a new tale to be told...

[mlmvoreconfessionals]

I heard that R.evali was getting a lot of CHONK art, so how about some vore with him at increasingly bigger sizes and being smug about it?

Yeah, he has been! Evidently, his voice actor is kinda into it? Or is at least interacting with art of it, which got a whole lot of people to make stuff. Anyway! Good enough excuse to fatten a cocky bird up.

The first time it had happened, R.evali would say that it was…weird. He’d been coming back from some of his personal training when another R.ito intercepted him with his bizarre request—to be eaten whole and alive by their champion.

“I’m not good at fishing or hunting,” the R.ito says. “And I’m not a skilled archer. I want…no, I need to do something for our village. And the only way is to serve you, our Champion!”

R.evali considers talking some sense into this R.ito, send him back. But the earnestness of the request and the gentle growling of R.evali’s stomach after a day of work, as well as the sense of praise and superiority, is all leading him to a different answer. A smug smile and a haughty laugh finally settle on him. “Well, who wouldn’t want to do that? I’ll make sure everyone knows that you went to the greatest cause of all—me.” He plants his hands squarely on the R.ito’s shoulders and opens his beak wide.

R.evali was late getting back to  by he village, and the guards that greet him seem relieved he’s returned. Then a bit surprised to see he’s cradling a person-sized gut, gurgling and churning thickly. A belch escapes the champion, some feathers fluttering from his beak as he slowly slurps along it. “I’m pleased to inform the two of you of someone who will not be coming home…”

It’s a couple of months later that R.evali begins to notice a shift. Specifically, the shift of his stomach every time he moves or takes to the sky. A pot belly has settled itself snuggly onto his frame, wobbling around any time he moves. He huffs to himself, poking and prodding it. “Where did all of this weight come from..?”

Well, he knew where it came from: ten R.itos, all of them offering their bodies and lives up to their great Champion. One at a time, every few days, someone had come to R.evali with the same story—they felt that they served no greater purpose than being a meal to move their Champion forward. And of course, he obliged each and every time. Even when the last one was a pair of brothers he had to work down together.

Of course, that much meat was bound to leave some extra heft. But R.evali had figured his training would work it off. Clearly not. He was almost a little ashamed of it—what would the other R.ito think if he walked around looking so…plush? Such worries were cast aside by his next meal.

“Oh, R.evali, I’m honored that I’ll be able to become a part of this,” the R.ito says, stooped down to rub along the sides of R.evali’s gut. “For everyone to see what’s left of me adorn your frame…is a great mercy.”

The thought makes R.evali grin. And R.ito went down soon enough, adding some more inches to R.evali’s heft by end of day. And when he runs his hands along his expanding girth, feels it wobble, there’s nothing but pride. It’s not just fat, it’s a sign of the strength of the R.itos. How they can come together and become something better, but never be forgotten or erased. They’re all more of him…but there’s still something to show they were there. His stomach bubbles over whatever remnants of his meal are left, and he absentmindedly wonders if he can get another for dinner.

R.evali huffs a bit with effort as he lands, the wood platform groaning under him. His belly rumbles harshly and a thick belch roars out of him, a multicolor of feathers explode forth and fluttering to his feet. R.evali sighs out, slowly slurping along his beak while he pats his gut slowly.

“This new training method is…an exceptional idea,” R.evali huffs. Having to work a bit harder to bela his meals lets him get plenty of flying in, a chance to adjust to his weight in the sky. He’s also found that all the new weight gives him something to throw around. Few continue to move much with a few hundred pounds of R.ito dropping on them.

Whoever had the idea initially is padding out his ass some more, so as far as he cares, it was his idea. It’s been over a year since the first R.ito joined their champion and at this point? R.evali is hardly slowing. He happily shows off his weight to everyone who can see it, and he has no intentions of ever losing it. Why would he want to, when so many R.ito gave themselves to him to form it?

There have been some noticeable…let’s say dips in the population. Much of the guards have been gutted by R.evali’s gut. Who needs them when the great Champion is keeping their village safe? A handful of hunters have fed R.evali with their own bodies as well. Less R.ito around means they need less food, so the hunters have less to do. And those they stay around, like artists and musicians, well…R.evali might have less of a justification there beyond finding them easy meals. But surely they’re still serving a greater purpose, yes?

Another belch erupts from R.evali, his hands lazily smooshing his stomach as it churns. “Hm…perhaps it’s time to start expanding my tastes outside of the village. I'm sure it’s not just the R.ito who recognize my greatness!” The heavy gut gurgled wetly in agreement.

R.evali can’t say when he last took to the skies, but it’s not such a problem for him. All the food he could ever want is down here, after all. Ever since K.aneli had retired (being mulched in R.evali’s gut is a popular form of retirement nowadays), he’s taken up residence as the leader of the R.itos. His great stomach rests on the floor, always burbling over something. R.ito most of the time, Hylian with some frequency, and occasionally a Z.ora or even a G.oron.

R.evali is fat, but it’s a sign of honor. “Letting those who give their lives to the great R.ito Champion show their additions is the highest honor!” Of course, since R.evali can no longer take to the skies, a successor is already in the works—he’s been hearing good things about this T.eba fellow. Might have to give him a few pointers.

After all, if he’ll be their new Champion, he’ll have to show others a high honor as well. R.evali pats his gut with a slight smirk. And if he’s all talk…R.evali will add him to a real champion. The best. The heaviest.

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

Any thoughts on them changing Scar’s face in 03? It’s so much smoother compared to Mangahood. Like do you prefer one face over the other? Thoughts on the fact that they changed Scar’s face but nobody else’s, why do you think it happened at all?

Hm. I do have thoughts on the matter, but so much of it is more about how fans perceive 03 Scar vs the mangahood Scars (because manga and Broho Scar do differ in their appearance as well, though perhaps not as immediately as 03 does) than anything to do with the contrasts in the anime vs the manga itself.

The way fans talk about 03 Scar's appearance just. Man. Bums me out. Pre-Brotherhood you had your bog standard cishet white dudes harping about Scar looking "like he should be in a boy band," and listen. If you were a teen or young adult in the oughts, you knew exactly what the subtext for the statement was: fag.

I'd have thought, all these years later, that I would be seeing better quality opinions on the dude. Unfortunately, rejoining the fandom after over a decade post-Brotherhood I seem to find similar, disparaging sentiments. Except now it's painted more as a critique of 03 being a separate beast from the manga's canon. Yet the unmistakable undercurrent of disdain towards a man being rendered more pretty, young, vulnerable, and with a somewhat greater range of emotionality remains intact, only now Western fans have the more overtly masculine, older, emotionally restrained depiction of Scar everyone prefers in Brotherhood to use as an additional way to shit on 03 Scar's looks.

People seem forever confounded by a version of Scar who isn't Peak Masc™®© and 'scary'/intimidating, so they gawk at 03's version like its a rift in reality. But when I first saw what Scar looks like in the manga a ways back (please note, I started with 03 back before 2009 and Brotherhood) I just shrugged. And finally watching Brotherhood earlier this year I was no less unbothered over the shift in Scar's appearance.

To me the change in artstyles alone across both anime and the manga makes everyone look rather different; 03 Envy and Broho Envy have completely different faces, hair density, and even demeanours but I don't see non-stop posts about them. Hell, 03 Greed vs Mangahood Greed looks VERY different to me. Mangahood looks so young and, as you put it, smooth. 03 looks older, more like he actually lives in the seedy underbelly of society. But again, no one bats an eye at this. Folks have at least noted Ed and (human body) Al's design differences, but that's accepted without much hullabaloo. 03 Lust also has (albeit more subtle) design changes over the manga, and the later Broho version looks unlike both 03 and manga Lusts. Hohenheim of Light and Von Hohenheim? Look quite different! Their face shapes aren't even identical. So no, I don't actually feel that only Scar ended up looking unlike his manga counterpart. It's a more overt change compared to most of the rest of the cast, but he's not the only one who looks younger/more beautiful. (And come on, damn near everyone has a retroactive glow-up in 03 versus Brotherhood, given the difference in styles.)

I just don't get why Scar's changes should be such a big deal.

Maybe I'm used to media that has scores of iterations of the same core characters, where even artstyles change on the regular. So 03 Scar vs manga Scar vs Broho Scar designs never registered as anything controversial. Frankly the fact of these differences are banal. Tweaks in appearance happens per iteration. Which isn't to say that there aren't choices being made by the artists. Just that it doesn't impact how I feel or engage with each version of this character.

What I find the most bizarre about this memefication of "2003 Scar is a twinky emo boy who cries and is wimpy, give us back our brick wall Big Man who has two expressions max" is that this comes from a mostly queer contingent on tunglr dot fuck. A queer, "feminist" fandom, who giggles at a character of colour the fandom mostly sees as a 'fearsome villain' having ever been rendered with such proximity to emotional complexity, to the the feminine, and deriding this character design and writing choice. It also flanderizes the version of Scar they supposedly prefer, because the mangahood Scars aren't Mega-Sized American Shooter Space Marines Who Are Gruff and Feel Nothing despite whatever weird cultural-gender hangups these same fans are (perhaps unwittingly) clinging to. The role those Scars are meant to inhabit is the racialized caricature of the dangerous Other, but even they aren't as flattened as the fanon renders them.

We can be honest though. Nobody in this fandom has a problem with other attractive characters. Only 03 Scar fuck's 'em up. And most of the people bothered by 03 Scar's appearance aren't even Scar fans to begin with. They just find it uncanny that a "terrorist villain" could ever look, well. Alluring. It crosses people's wires.

Skill issue.

As for why the 03 character designer(s) chose to change Scar's appearance from the manga, I can only speculate. It's worth noting that a cleaner, more youthful appearance does tend to carry its own signifiers in pop media. Especially for a younger audience, a more relatively youthful design can encourage seeing oneself in a character's shoes. To strip away some of the degree of separation that teen and young adult viewers may otherwise feel towards a displaced, religious, soldier-murdering character, in the hopes that they instead connect with Scar. Not as a figure meant to terrify them but rather a fleshed out character grappling with his own journey.

Maybe, more cynically, the character designers just thought a younger, more conventionally attractive Scar might better draw in viewers.

Unless anyone has some sources from the team behind the 2003 anime, we can't know the reasons with any certainty.

To answer your question: looks wise, I don't have a strong preference. Older, younger, more (relatively) bulky or more (relatively) trim (but for real tho, we know 03 Scar isn't a twig, yeah?), a prettier face or a more grizzled one, doesn't matter to me. It just adds variety to the meal, ya know? All Scars are gorgeous to me. If I could lovingly cradle all three huge men in my arms at the same time, I would.

But character wise? 03 is my fave, hands down. I prefer his staunch principles, his struggles, his characterization, his arc, his radicalism, his emotional range, just! Everything about him is pitch perfect to me. There's a reason why he's the one in my pfp, the one I drew for my blog header, hell the one I draw the most obsessively overall.

Sucks ass that sifting through ages of fan content yields so much constant trash slung at my fave amongst faves. 🥲 But my expectations for this fandom have never left rock bottom anyhow.

[leighlew3]

Are you open to giving your opinion on The Girls On The Bus?

IMHO take away the swearing and the occasional s*x scene, you can tell people of the CW were involved. And so many other things that I don’t want to spoil in case not everyone has see it but I wonder how you (a professional) sees it.

Okie dokie. So.

I've had this Anon/Answer as a draft for a while. Was torn on whether to discuss it. But now that it's cancelled, I don't feel like this would be discouraging anybody from tuning in and thus harming the show or those involved in any way.

Keep in mind, I'm entitled to my opinions -- yes even without having watched it (yet?) because it's all tied into why I ultimately didn't watch it in the first place.

Early on, I remember being... wary about the creative direction of the show overall and saying to somebody what I bet each character would wind up being about/representing, what the show would likely focus on and the various dynamics between the characters, and how the representation would be treated. I'd hoped to be wrong in terms of the predictability factor, alas...

From what I read of reviews and saw in fan-posted clips, it turned out that I was (unfortunately) pretty spot on. For me personally -- that makes a show difficult to tune into if something else doesn't outweigh it. If I already know exactly what to expect and it involves less than flattering predictions regarding superficial feminism + overdone tropes and cliches + an overall concept that feels like a beat down with IRL non-stop coverage of political insanity the last 8 damn years? Thaaat's a hard one for me.

As far as cast though? Benoist is an exceptional, underrated, incredible talent. And some of the clips of her performance seemed Emmy-worthy (though sadly that didn't happen for her this time). Gugino is also fantastic, and an icon. Meanwhile Elmore is profusely enjoyable and talented and Behnam is such a break out and refreshing energy. And all together, they seemed to have amazing chemistry on screen and formed bonds IRL that are lovely.

Sadly though, the show's feminism seemed to be the equivalent of a "girl boss" tote bag. Superficial at best. Characters and the show constantly ragging on men and the double standards of men vs women, yet ultimately still centering men and the influence of men in and even over their lives when it gets down to brass tacks. My whole thing is: everything doesn't have to be a feminist statement. But don't yell about how your show is all about "girl power" and then -- do the opposite, in many ways. SGCW used to do that all the time. And since many of the same people were involved here creatively... well...

The show even hung a huge focus of its initial marketing on "omg we have a shirtless 50 year old white man that white millennial women were in love with in the early 2000s hehehe" -- which was so utterly bizarre and cringe. And having their invited influencer group for the screening be a group of privileged, mostly straight, cis, white Millennials and Gen Z women from TikTok was a red flag.

Yes, straight cis white Millennial and Gen Z women deserve to see themselves too, 100%. But, c'mon. And yes, not everything is always for everybody. And that’s fine! But then they should’ve better considered the casting and what audience they were automatically bringing in from day one. Between Benoist, Gugino and Tala — that’s built in queer wlw fandoms right off the bat that would (and tried to) show up and champion the series if they had true reason to. Instead the show had limited, and as always ancillary, queer rep that apparently goes nowhere and ends rather badly, from what other fans have indicated. Drop me a line if that's incorrect though.

Look, yes, many queer fans were making jokes and expressing valid frustrations about the lead character giving QUEER AS HELL vibes all over the place yet being presented as seemingly straight, but what else is new from some of the creatives involved here.

It was further disappointing to see TPTB do a group interview where they said how they a.) tried to figure out who should get pregnant while on the campaign trail and need the abortion pills and ultimately decided on Sadie and b.) joked that they then debated "Well, Sadie HAS to sleep with SOMEBODY." to get there. Which just means the core "love story" they attempt to create for Sadie around not liking the guy at first other than as a hookup and then suddenly expressing deep feelings for him and bearing her soul a few episodes later wasn't exactly organic nor earned in conception nor execution.

It sounds like they just had a checklist of "issues" to address and then wrote around that, shaping characters to fit the story, instead of the other way around. So what might've worked better for the characters was pushed aside to complete the 'statements' they wanted to make. SGCW used to do that also. They were always trying so hard to make the characters fit the plot rather than the plot work alongside or even due to the characters -- which is why it so often fell flat, felt empty and had characters being poorly written, contradictory, etc.

On this front btw, someone had complained to me that for one big ep, Sadie was going through it, and whereas one would think she would normally go to her mentor and friend Grace (or one of the other girls on the damn bus, hello), the ep kept 'em apart so she could open up to a guy she previously rejected and it further their relationship. Once again, it's always a tiresome tactic when you have to keep women apart to prop up a man or a male/female dynamic because you know a character would have been more likely to go have that breakdown and emotional moment elsewhere, but you've gotta forcibly shove in the "development" of a hetero relationship at the expense of so much else.

Next, having a Black woman represent a political party that has built itself upon racism, homophobia and sexism and then using her and those arcs to play up the "both sides have good people" angle right now is tough to stomach for the kind of fans who were tuning in for Benoist, Gugino and others. It's not "enlightened" to say "Let's be pals with a bigot who wants women's rights stripped away because -- humanity!" I mean, we're all human and can't just quick and easy cut people out of our lives who have different beliefs, even if those beliefs are absolutely painfully awful -- but I don't think anyone is really exploring these issue deeply and appropriately enough yet.

I mean, "Aw, Kimberlyn drove Sadie to her abortion, thus showing that even if she personally didn't agree with it, she still cares and they can still be friends." is a sweet sentiment, in theory. Until you dig a little deeper and remember that Kimberlyn is not only voting for but actively helping promote and put power in the hands of people who stripped Sadie of her rights to have that abortion in that state in the first place! Stuff like this is so irritatingly disingenuous... or else just tone deaf and clueless. Pick whichever.

I will say, in closing, that it seemed a big portion of the apparently limited audience that was tuning in -- were queer fans who followed Benoist from Supergirl, and Tala from LoT, and who love Gugino, etc. And this is where it is so damn important know your audience based on who you're casting and what fans they're bringing to the table. Most discussion of the show on Twitter for instance, had been around queer Sadie edits and even a crackship with someone from another show + fans thirsting after Sadie's queer vibes and outfits, etc -- and those fans generated more interest around the show / buzz than anybody, yet there had been no direct acknowledgment nor gratitude by anyone involved with the show for tuning in and creating fan content and edits and art and gifs and hyping a show that otherwise has very little interest. And all that told those fans is: this show isn't for you, and we don't care if you're our only audience, we were aiming for something else. And hey -- aim for whomever you want! Tell your stories! But then don't be surprised when no one cares in this climate. I mean, LGBTQ fans and creators have to deal with this constantly when trying to "appeal to mass audiences", so, welcome to our world.

Additionally, TPTB were not even hyping the canon rep they did have, in Lola, ffs! Instead, everyone just focused the occasional praise from mostly straight white journalists giving it the obscure positive review, or family and friends pushing the show out of personal support.

It was so exhausting to see, because it involved a lot of the same creatives who previously also ignored LGBTQ fans carrying other previous shows with organic marketing in the past. Ignoring what limited audience you have will never be a recipe for long-term success. And with many of the people involved coming from The CW, and many at the top actually part of the LGBTQ community themselves -- you'd think they'd get that by now. Alas.

Anyway, I think most people involved in this show meant well, and worked hard on this one. And I hear they did do a couple great things -- like with Lola's family dynamic and background exploration, some of the humorous moments, etc. And kudos on getting a show made and on air -- because now more than even that is a damn near miracle. But because it's so hard to make happen now, that's really why I tend to be a little more discerning as well as having heightened expectations that representation be as fully developed and organic and self-aware as possible, and that talent not be wasted on cliches and superficiality. Audiences and actors deserve better, IMO.

In closing, I'm sure in the future I'll break my own standards on a project, whether by accident or by order from above, and people will feel I've flopped or been hypocritical given my current and past takes, and that's fine. I'll try to hear people out, adapt and grow and/or fight harder, where needed. But to see the same people get the same opportunities to make the same kind of things that get the same disappointed reactions/flop -- and never learn? Is tiresome.

Especially when the cast, fans, etc deserve better.

The end.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

2023 was a really rough year for Disney. Marvel had two of the biggest flops, Quantumania and The Marvels, with only the phenomenal finale to the Guardians of the Galaxy trilogy wedged in between to give audiences faith; Star Wars didn’t fare much better, with divisive works like the third season of The Mandalorian and the first season of Ahsoka splitting the fanbase as usual; the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid floundered with critics and audiences alike, while Haunted Mansion was dead on arrival; the final Indiana Jones film got middling reviews, with some even saying it made Crystal Skull seem better in hindsight; and Elemental nearly burnt out at the box office due to abysmal advertising, only getting a second wind from positive word of mouth. Keep in mind, 2023 was the studio’s big 100th anniversary. Flopping this hard with all their major brands was not a good look. Thankfully, they had a really special animated film dropping for this historic anniversary, a film that was a big love letter to Disney history. It’s ostensibly a film about the origin of the wishing star other characters in other films wish upon—a novel concept to be sure! How did this premise pay off for Disney?

It bombed, with a net loss of $131 million. Keep in mind that films like Raya and Encanto, which also did poorly, had less time of theaters due to COVID. Also keep in mind Wish was advertised like crazy. Toys, clothes, ads, this movie got it all! And all of that likely contributed to how bad a financial failure it was. To make matters worse, critics were extremely mixed on the film, and the opinions of audiences weren’t much nicer. People had been skeptical from the first trailer, and so the film had an uphill battle to begin with, and sadly that uphill battle turned out to be a Sisyphean one, with the boulder slipping and rolling all the way back down to the bottom for Disney.

I genuinely had zero interest in ever watching this, and keep in mind I have access to Disney+ so it isn’t like I’d be paying specifically to see it. But I have a little daughter who became obsessed with the movie, and so I had to watch it about a dozen times. And with how much of a disaster this was for Disney, after the umpteenth viewing I decided I may as well give my thoughts. Is this movie any good, or is that just wishful thinking?

THE GOOD

I think it’s safe to say King Magnifico is the standout performance of the film. Chris Pine is clearly having an absolute blast playing the guy, and he manages to deliver a fun, upbeat, poppy villain song that succeeds despite some really bizarre and nonsensical lyrics. Sure, he’s not an S-tier villain or anything, but he’s a lot more fun and enjoyable than any of the mediocre twist villains Disney plagued us with during the 2010s. He’s an enjoyable asshole, consumed by his own ego.

Aside from his villain song, I do like some of the other music. “At All Costs” is a very nice, tender song; “Knowing What I Know Now” is a heroic “shit just got real” song, with a foreboding aura that nicely contrasts the villain’s lightehearted number; and “Welcome to Rosas,” a fun little iintro song for the story. Now, all of these songs have some issues (we’ll get tot hose in a bit), but they’re definitely fun and enjoyable if you can overlook some of the flaws.

I’m sure a lot of people found the numerous Disney references to be a bit much, and maybe even distracting, but I think they can get a pass just this once since this film is meant to celebrate one hundred years of Disney magic. Asha wearing the Fairy Godmother’s robe? Magnifico getting turned into the Magic Mirror? Peter Pan just randomly showing up for no fucking reason as a cameo? Sure, why not? And this all leads to the ending credits, where every Disney animated canon movie that isn’t a sequel gets represented (except for Meet the Robinsons, The Rescuers, and The Bkack Cauldron). You’ll see constellations of all your favorite characters, like Milo Thatch, Jim Hawkins, Yzma, Tarzan, and Yokai! Remember Yokai? From Big Hero 6? Clearly he was the right character to spotlight for this! I can’t harp too much on this, because every time I watch this I applaud and clap when Chicken Little appears.

THE BAD

So there are a few good songs, I admit. But for every good song, there’s two more that just plain suck or are entirely unfitting. “At All Costs” sounds like a a song about love and romance, so of course it plays… over the scene where Magnifico shows Asha all the wishes. Huh? What sense does that make? But a decent song being out of place is small potatoes compared to how absolutely bad the lyrics are. Even in the songs I like, like “This is the Thanks I Get” and “Knowing What I Know Now” there’s just something off with a lot of the lyrics and the rhyme scheme. But nothing in them is quite as egregious as the song “I’m a Star.”

“I’m a Star” might genuinely be the single worst song in any Disney animated film ever from a lyrical standpoint. The entire song is nothing but word salad; nothing in it makes any sense, and not once does it answer any of the questions it has posed. While some of the other songs have sloppy writing, they still are easily able to communicate core ideas that help progress the story. This song, though? It’s meaningless drivel made to pad the runtime. The absolute worst bit is this verse near the end, though:

Here's a little fun allegory

That gets me excitatory

This might sink in in the morning

We are our own origin story

If I'm explaining this poorly

Well I'll let star do it for me

It's all quite revelatory

We are our own origin story

None of this means anything. Like yeah dude, you are explaining this poorly. What the fuck are you trying to explain here? And while this is the worst verse, the worst lyric is right near the end where they painfully force a rhyme by having someone sing “Here I are” with “I’m a star.” No matter how many times I listen to these songs, this one coming on fills me with dread because of how painfully bad it is to the core.

I think the issue here is the lyrics were written by Julia Michaels, someone who typically works with pop, R&B, and EDM. She’s written for Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani, Justin Bieber… but notice she hasn’t written for any musicals. Say what you want about Lin-Manuel Miranda, but he knows how to write fun, poppy songs that would not sound out of pace in a stage musical---a core part of the appeal of the best Disney songs. The songs Michales wrote really don’t fit that vibe, and feel more like repurposed radio friendly pop tunes than something that belongs in a Disney movie. And maybe this wouldn’t be too bad of an idea if this weren’t supposed to be the big centennial celebration film.

But hey, maybe the songs are bad… which isn’t great, because a Disney musical with bad songs is on thin ice, but whatever! Maybe the characters can redeem this? Ehhhhhhhhh… Unfortunately, none of the characters in this film really do anything particularly special. Asha is cute and determined and all, and she’s definitely more compelling and less annoying than Raya, but she lacks a really solid identity. It honestly feels like she does things simply because the plot demands her, and not because it is in-character for her to do so—something that would require her to have a character in the first place. And despite being the best part of the film, Magnifico is a victim of the wonky writing as well. While it’s great he isn’t a twist villain, the writing really just makes the whole idea he’s bad guy seem stupid. I resent the idea his goal is in any way reasonable—he’s certainly an overly paranoid dick with an inflated ego even in the most charitable interpretations of his actions—but the movie still manages to make him somewhat sympathetic via his backstory only to have him grab a sled to slide on down that slippery slope. I don’t know, it just feels like these characters shift gears at the drop of the hat because the plot demands certain actions and roles from them.

Then we have the cutesy kid appeal characters, Valentino the goat and the wishing star. Valentino, played by Alan Tudyk in his millionth Disney role, is not nearly as insufferable as I’d feared he’d be. Unfortunately, he isn’t really good either. It really is sad how Disney keeps pushing him as their answer to Pixar’s John Ratzenberger yet refuse to give him good or fun roles to make an impact like Ratzenberger does. The guy hasn’t been utilized well since Wreck-It Ralph, it’s just getting sad. The wishing star is just a cutesy non-speaking plot device meant to sell marketable plushies, and pulls out new powers from its ass as the plot demands; it’s responsible for the awful “I’m a Star” as well as a cringeworthy chicken musical sequence. These characters really do feel like they exist solely to sell toys to children, because everything else aside they don’t really add to the experience—which is especially bad for the star! This is supposed to be his story!

And, look. Get it. They wanted to stick to something that is incredibly formulaic to pay tribute to all the tropes Disney codified for animated movies. But did they have to make the whole thing so predictable and safe? You can predict exactly what’s going to happen at any given time; there’s no real big twists or turns to be seen with this one. This is strictly formula, a very basic Disney story that couldn’t be more “paint by numbers” if it tried. You’d think they’d try to be a little more bold and daring after a hundred years, but… nah.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

I think calling this movie “bad” is a bit harsh. It’s not exactly good, it’s messy and stupid and all that, but after seeing it so many times I really don’t think it’s as egregious or repugnant as something like, say, Pocahontas. But taking everything into consideration, the movie is extremely disappointing as a centennial celebration, and isn’t that worse in a way?

This was meant to be the film that pays tribute to a hundred years of animation, a love letter to a studio that has made some of the greatest artistic achievements in cartoon history, and it ended up like this? I think it’s pretty safe to say a better tribute would have been to return to hand drawn animation and make something like their classic output instead of a cliché storm of tired plot beats and nonsensical songs. The film feels really bland, safe, and corporate, like they were more concerned with selling merch and coasting off of the novelty of being the big animated release during the hundredth anniversary. And look how that turned out! My daughter spent a month earning enough cash to buy a King Magnifico doll, and it didn’t sell out in that entire time—and this was recently, too! Wish has long since left theaters, and the toys are getting their prices slashed because no one is buying them! Even kids, for the most part, don’t care about this one.

It’s just a bummer. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect more out if the richest company on Earth, is it? It really is a harmless, boring film, but it just feels so much worse than it actually is because we all know Disney can put more effort into their work and produce films that far outstrip this in quality and yet this is what they chose to represent them for a historic milestone. It really is rated fairly up there, it’s about what it deserves, but I hardly blame anyone who rates it even lower. It’s definitely not the worst Disney movie, but it sure is the most disappointing.

I’m glad my daughter likes it though, and honestly she’s probably why I’m not quite as harsh on the film as I was at first. Her enthusiasm for it is honestly infectious, even if at the end of the day I still think it’s kind of a lame movie. There’s definitely worse things to show your kids than Wish; if nothing else, it can make a decent gateway into other Disney movies. But that’s as charitable as I’m willing to get for Wish.

[coolgreatwebsite]

Happy 1 Million Views to the Video That Broke Me

This is a repost of something I wrote over on my Cohost, but I figured a year later it should also probably live on the domain I pay money to have. Better late than never!

This is the most successful piece of content I have ever created. At one million views it is the thing I've made that people have seen the most. It is the thing that the most people have seen my name attached to. And it's total trash.

It's 2017 and we're a week or so out from the release of Sonic Mania, a game that I'm, at that point, pretty damn excited for. A kindly poster from the Something Awful forums (that I have known from many forums previous) poses a challenge: be the first to beat his short kaizo Sonic the Hedgehog 2 ROM hack and he'll gift you a copy of Sonic Mania on Steam when it comes out.

I was already getting the game on PS4 but I figured whatever, everyone else seems to be having trouble with it, I'm bored, I got nothing better to do, I'll give it a shot. I load up KEGA Fusion, start a low bitrate and resolution OBS recording because it'll probably take a few hours and who cares it's a forum contest verification video, and get to work. A hour and half-ish goes by and I'm finished with the hack. I upload the video to YouTube, post it in the thread, win my free copy of Sonic Mania, and that's the end of the story. Thanks for reading.

Except of course it's not the end of the story. A few months after I got done thoroughly enjoying Sonic Mania, I realized that I'd been getting a weird amount of new subscriber emails from YouTube. I decided to actually look at my metrics and noticed a uh, highly localized spike of activity. Give you one guess on which video (hint: it's the one this post is about). "The Algorithm" had suddenly taken it and was running away with it at lightning speed.

In the timespan between posting the video and this spike, YouTube had announced they were drastically raising the bar on the metrics you needed to hit to have your channel monetized. I was by no means a large YouTuber at the time, but I was meeting the old requirements for monetization just fine. I wasn't anywhere near meeting the new requirements until now and this video was blowing the hell up for whatever reason, so I decided to do what any good opportunist would do and made it an unwatchable experience.

I set the ad frequency on that thing to the maximum that it'd let me. I forget exactly how frequent that was but it was something absurd like an ad every 5 minutes. Maybe even more than that. I figured I'd either get rich or maybe it would make people stop watching and leaving the worst comments in the world. Seriously the comments on this thing are their own nightmare, a bizarre soup of people ascribing meaning to nothing, trying to suss out emotions where there are none, saying complete gibberish, I'd need an entire second post to unpack whatever the hell is going on there.

Well, I wouldn't quite say I got rich. The money you get off what most people would conventionally call a popular YouTube video is just not much in the grand scheme of things. But holy shit they didn't stop watching. If anything they were watching more. Why didn't they stop watching? This video was less than nothing. It was an ordeal to watch all the way through. Why were they doing this? Why was the algorithm showing this to everyone? Why this and not one of the things I put effort into or something that was at least meant to be entertaining at all? I didn't have the answers and I still don't.

Before this I personally wasn't lamenting the possibility of losing monetization on my channel as up until this point I had made around $40 total on YouTube in the decade or so I'd had a channel. But I had been spending a lot that time watching friends with channels around the size of mine who were actively hustling to, and unfortunately failing to, meet the new hurdle. They were putting out some really good shit. Way better than my stuff, frankly. And here I was getting launched to the finish line by... a throwaway, blurry, hour and a half long, commentary-free, save state abusing playthrough of a crummy Sonic ROM hack? That I had made as a means to a completely separate end?? That got promoted by a computer program for seemingly no reason???

It felt shitty. One of the friends I mentioned in that last paragraph was my longtime friend Fotts who was in the middle of getting their (sadly now dormant) series TAS Force off the ground. They were constantly tweeting about the ordeal of trying to meet the new monetization requirements and it was a damn shame because they were putting in a ton of effort and it was great. The kind of thing I'd watch even if I wasn't friends with anyone on it. It was a million times funnier than anything I was doing, and the complete opposite of my shitty contest video. If there was any justice in this world the views I was getting on this dumpster fire would be going to them. But as it turns out, there is no justice online.

I recalled a conversation I had with them a few years back while they, I, and a group of about 7 or so other friends were all wandering around an Orlando Wal-Mart wearing identical black t-shirts that read "MARVEL CAN SUCK MY COCK" in big block letters (long story). They had actually kind of gone through this sort of thing before. See, they're the uploader and one of the voices of this video you may or may not have seen with 6.5+ million views on it.

They lamented to me many of the laments I was currently lamenting. "This was just a stupid throwaway thing", "why is this so much more popular than the stuff I put effort into", "it's just me making PaRappa the Rapper say the word 'Chinese' over and over". Ok maybe that last one was a bit more specific to them. Anyway, I responded with (and I admit a lot of the reason I felt this way was because I thought and still think the video is funny) something along the lines of "you can't pick what hits for people, it might have been throwaway but at the end of the day you posted it because you thought it was at least a little bit funny, try and focus on the fact that you have a popular video at all rather than the fact it's not one of the videos you're particularly proud of".

But yeah damn turns out that advice is easier said than done when it happens to you, and it's even harder done when it happens to a factually not entertaining video. One you could have uploaded as unlisted and achieved your intended result with. The runaway success of this thing genuinely broke me on this whole "Internet" deal.

I should stress I mean this in a good way. I realized that it's not so much that you can't pick what hits for people, it's that you physically cannot pick what gets put in front of people. The people cannot pick what hits for them. A computer does. You can try and promote and affect what gets seen in your own small sphere of influence, but ultimately we are, on YouTube and on all of our social platforms, at the mercy of a black box of computer programs that I'm not even sure the people who created them understand anymore. I'd obviously known this on some level prior to this video existing, but bearing witness to it all happening firsthand to this video in particular was another thing entirely. Anything prior that I had achieved marginally similar success with (there were a couple that had broken 100k) was meant to be entertaining. It was meant for people to watch and go "I liked that", not for one guy on a forum to see and go "good work solving my maze Superman". I could classify the success as "neat, people liked that one" in my brain. This defied classification.

The only logical conclusion was that it truly didn't matter what I uploaded. It's all decided by a random machine picking things at random to serve random amounts of people, and the people click on it and watch it simply because it is there. You can poke at the machine, prod at the machine, try to guess what the machine likes, try to iterate on something the machine has previously demonstrated that it likes. It's all an effort to get the machine to put it in front of the people who will click it because it is there. That's what all the bigger capital-C Content Creators do. From the high level stuff of "what kind of things do I upload" to the low level minutia of "how many curse words can I say in the first minute", making it Big On Line in any capacity is about trying to appease an unknowable mechanical entity and nothing else. It's either that or you're "old money" in a sense, established before this all became the case.

And again, the bigger names do this. Entire companies do this. If I were "smart" I would have pivoted my entire YouTube channel to nothing but hour and a half long commentary-free bullshit hard ROM hack playthroughs. Maybe another one would hit like this did. But for the life of me I could not and cannot think of anything more soul crushing.

I wouldn't say I had aspirations to be a Big Time YouTube Man, but at that time I would have maybe liked to be a Moderate Size YouTube Man. Or a moderate size Twitch man. Someone who had people watching but was still able to have fun with it and do his own thing. This newfound realization that it was truly a random lottery, even beyond the random lottery that most of human life is, that becoming any size bigger than Small Time was literally decided by an actual factual random number generator, freed me from the desire to do anything that I didn't want to do. If actively chasing success on these modern, algorithmically-driven platforms, actively going after "Kaizo Sonic 2 Full Run" numbers, meant putting aside the things I like and reinventing myself and the things I do down to the minute details in order to appease a literal ghost beyond anyone's understanding or control that changes what it's looking for on a whim, then I did not want to do that. I did not want to keep a timer for when I could talk normal, I did not want to announce my streams on Twitter with the link in a separate reply one day, in an embedded image the next, and in my display name the next. If there is absolutely one thing I do not want to do in my life, it's dance for a robot.

But the most freeing thing about realizing this is that it also meant if I just kept doing stuff I liked, maybe, someday, I could get lucky enough to where the unknowable internet robot would push that in front of a million or so people. In the grand scheme of things it's about an equal chance of that happening on something I like and am proud of versus something I made in a desperate cloying attempt to placate an algorithm.

Anyway damn this got long and rambly sorry about that lol. This was initially meant to just be a little toast to the 5 year-ish anniversary of me fully becoming an Internet nihilist. Remember folks, it's meaningless to chase success in an algorithm dominated landscape. In the words of a certain extremely Normal-type man, "real life isn't all just being true to yourself", but I reject the notion that the Internet is not or should not be, in spite of the legion of ghouls and freaks at the top of the chain actively trying to make that the case every day.

Be true to yourself. Do what you love, make what you love, post what you love, and maybe if you're lucky a computer somewhere will decide it's your turn, because that's the single deciding factor in all of this. In the mean time, you'll end up slowly and naturally surrounding yourself with cool people who get you, if only a little bit. At least that's what's happened for me so far. I've been pretty alright with it.

[everythingsinred]

Hey, has it ever occurred to you why Mikan doesn't like her hair down?

This is a pretty interesting question! I'll try to answer to the best of my ability, but to be honest this is all conjecture. Also I made this a NatsuMikan post because discussions about Mikan's hair/Natsume's back turn into NM on principle.

Very long NM rambling under the cut...

Yes, Mikan seems to be very uncomfortable about her hair being down.

In Chapter 24, Mikan is dressed as the prince and has her hair down for the role. She's instantly insecure and contemplates putting her hair up again. She needs outside validation from an opinion she cares about (Hotaru's) to make her feel okay about it in the moment, but after this she continues to keep her hair down.

A lot of it seems to come from feeling like she looks weird somehow with her hair down, and prior to this she says she feels "antsy" with her hair down. At no point does she elect to have her hair down between this and when she's stuck in the labyrinth. If she ever switches up her hairstyle, she still keeps it up, like at the Christmas Ball or New Years. Even when she sleeps, she keeps her hair in pigtails or braided.

I am not sure why having her hair down bothers her so much, but let's discuss some possibilities.

Mikan's iconic pigtail hair style is pretty childish. That makes sense, because she is a child, but when she's aged up by the Gulliver candy, she defaults to the same style, which prevents her from looking more mature. I might say from a narrative sense that Mikan's hairstyle being so childish is supposed to set her aside as being more immature than the rest of the kids in Class B. Hotaru's short and practical hairstyle seems leagues more mature and chic than Mikan's cute little pigtail thing.

It might be nothing more than a habit. Mikan likes sports, and keeping your hair up comes in handy when you're exercising. Whatever the initial reason she built this habit is, she might be so unaccustomed to seeing herself with her hair down that it feels bizarre and wrong.

But I genuinely don't know what an in-story reason for her behavior is, because it seems much stronger than a mere preference or habit. She doesn't like herself with her hair down at all, and never has it down until this moment in Chapter 24. Maybe she's just insecure for whatever reason and thinks she looks bad with her hair down (though she definitely doesn't).

In any case, my idea is that it feels vulnerable to have her hair down. She describes the feeling as "antsy", like it doesn't feel right. I think her wearing her hair up is a comfort zone thing, where she feels more protected with her hair in a do. In a way, it might be comparable to her insistence on smiling. Mikan is, despite everything, actually very hard on herself. She doesn't think she's smart, capable, pretty, useful. She is surrounded by smart people, by people with interesting and useful alices, by people she perceives as "strong" while she is weak. And, of course, people who are beautiful, when she is not.

Just like Mikan gets very pathological about her smile after being told it's a charm of hers, I think she might rely on her hair being up. She is not pretty on her own, but if she puts extra pizzazz into her hair, maybe it'll make up for how plain she is? Maybe is she uses different hair-ties, sometimes with ribbons, sometimes with flowers, she can be a bit cute sometimes? Mikan thinks very little of herself but is very interested in making up for it.

What's really interesting is when she starts wearing her hair down more. When is that? Oh, yes, during the time she's trapped in the labyrinth after coming to terms with her love for Natsume, who told her once that she looked better with her hair down.

Mostly she wears her hair down in the labyrinth when she goes to sleep, and that could easily be brushed aside as a given EXCEPT that Mikan has always had her hair up before, even when she was going to sleep!

So what makes this time period different? Why should Natsume have anything to do with how she wears her sleep when she goes to sleep anyway? It's not like he's living in the labyrinth with her. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she can hear him calling for her every night...

She does keep her hair up in pigtails when she's wearing her school uniform, of course, but when she's out of it, we see her exclusively with her down. The best example of this, of course, is on Christmas when she stays in her room because she's not allowed to go to the party.

She dresses it up a bit with those fluff balls, of course, but it's still down. And that's a big change when we consider that Mikan used to EXCLUSIVELY have her hair up, no matter the occasion.

When I was analyzing this chapters in my essays, I did say it helps make the confessions scene seem more surreal, having him dressed like a lil bat and her with her hair down, both of them out of their uniform. The surreal nature of the scene makes it dreamlike, for both of them, almost like it never happened, and I think that's important, but it didn't occur to me at the time how important it is narratively for Mikan that her hair is down for that.

I will concede that Hotaru told Mikan in Chapter 24 that she doesn't have to put her hair up, that it looks cute down. She does say that. But what Natsume says in Chapter 38 is a bit bigger. He doesn't use words like cute or pretty, but he makes a point of saying he prefers her hair down, that her pigtails won't suit her in a few years.

He doesn't say it out loud, but this is a compliment, and it clearly means a lot to her. If Mikan feels like she's not pretty (and she is called plain by so many people in the manga it's hard not to imagine that's how she views herself), and her putting her hair up is her way of "making up for it", then Natsume saying he likes her better with her hair down is, essentially, saying she looks pretty as she is, without all the trimmings.

It's kinda akin to those love songs where a girl swoons that a guy likes her better with her makeup off. Mikan wears her hair up because if her hair is cute or styled, then it can distract from her otherwise plain appearance. But Natsume prefers her as is, that the extra work she puts into tying her hair isn't necessary because he does think she's pretty, that she has nothing to make up for.

Once Mikan realizes she's in love with Natsume, and that this love is fully reciprocated, she wears her hair down more (or at all), because it's her way of connecting with him even though she can't see him as often. Her hair is down, and it doesn't need to be up, because somebody told her she looked better with it down. And, even more than that, she wears it down when she hears his voice, or there's a chance she might catch a glimpse of him, because she wants him to see her with her hair down.

Mikan, who got "antsy" in Chapter 24 with her hair down, sees Natsume in Chapter 144 and 145 and doesn't feel antsy about her hair at all. In fact, it's down because of him. For him.

I'm not saying girls should base their entire appearances off of what boys what, but that's not what this is either and I think that would be a cynical takeaway. Please don't misunderstand me! This is a boy making a girl feel better about how she looks, to the point where she feels like her hair down is a selling point, not another plain element to her appearance. There is nothing wrong with wanting the person you like to think you're pretty, especially when the person you like helped you feel prettier in the first place.

Anyway, that's basically the summation of my thoughts on this topic. I'm really grateful to you, Anon, for bringing this to my attention. Obviously, I did know Mikan didn't like her hair down and that Natsume did, but I have never observed it all that closely. This is one more aspect to the manga I was given the opportunity to analyze more and I'm so happy with having one more reason to love these two together!

[watchmakermori]

so like. I read Think Again by jacqueline wilson and I can't stop thinking about how weird bits of it were.

why did she have to do Mr Windsor so dirty. bringing him back as a love interest was a bizarre move in the first place, though I wasn't quite as outraged as some reviewers are. I don't think it'd have been quite as odd if he and Ellie reunited on more neutral terms and sort of rediscovered each other as adults...but they meet up for the first time since Ellie was 13 and it's instantly a date. then they jump into bed with each other immediately. It's weird and nobody really acts like it's that weird

And to some extent I think it's intentional, because Mr Windsor turns out awful and controlling and we aren't supposed to like the guy. But that felt like a very odd choice too. I get that a lot of time has passed, and it's not like we ever knew much about Mr Windsor's actual character...but the idea of him becoming this domineering, mansplaining caricature just didn't fit with what we knew about him. he's only ten years older than Ellie. As a hip young teacher in the 90s, he made a point to introduce his students to female artists, was always encouraging and kind to Ellie, and dealt with Magda's inappropriate advances in a very respectful way. I could believe he wasn't the perfect fantasy man that the girls imagined him to be as teenagers, but like...telling Ellie she shouldn't wear trousers? Making out she's a little girl who needs looking after? I don't know. He felt like a parody of a totally different man.

Which I guess he could be, given he's called Gary Windsor in the new book. Who the fuck is Gary?? The original series confirmed his name was Guy. Can't believe JW and none of her editors caught that.

So Guy/Gary is weird and patriarchal and generally awful, and Madga and Nadine both insist that he's just like that because he's a man (spoiler alert: no). They tell Ellie she obviously wants a woman, which is kind of where she ends up.

I'm going to be charitable and say that JW wasn't aiming for a take-home message of 'men are always bad so date women instead'. I feel like Alice's girlfriend Wendy, who also has an air of pantomime villainy about her, is supposed to illustrate that all is not always rosy in wlw relationships. But it still feels weird

And it makes the novel worse, in my opinion. I love the idea of Ellie rediscovering her sexuality as a 40 year old and realising she wants a relationship with a woman. That's awesome, it feels personal to JW's own life, and it's a good twist on what you might normally expect from a contemporary romance book about a single mum. But that aspect is confined to basically the final page of the book. We spend 99% of the time watching Ellie go on boring dates with a man she doesn't really like and who treats her badly. Then, on the final page, she gets with a woman and the book ends.

I just think the story would've been so much more interesting if this had been the crux of the story. Imagine if Mr Windsor wasn't such a shitbag - if he was just a regular guy who treated Ellie well, maybe had a few flaws, but was fundamentally a great potential partner. Then imagine you have Ellie, who feels logically that this is everything she should want - the happily ever after she's long been waiting for. Except Alice has come into her life, and she makes Ellie reconsider what she really wants for herself.

That conflict feels like it would've played so much better with the throughlines in the original Girls books. Ellie's personality as a teenager, her relationship to her best friends, her relationship to the people reading about her - so much of it is about boys. Magda, Nadine and Ellie are constantly talking about crushes and dating, and that doesn't seem to have changed much even in this sequel. It would've been fascinating to see Ellie grapple with compulsory heterosexuality and how much of her connections to others are tied to that. She might wonder what it would do to her friendship with Nadine and Magda if she started to date a woman - how it might affect her relationship with her daughter, her parents, and obviously her own sense of self.

I just feel like that would have been way more interesting and sincere. the whole novel is called 'Think Again', for goodness sake. but instead we get 300 pages of Ellie dithering about whether to break up with a guy who disparages her flat, her opinions, and generally treats her like a child. It's tiresome

[loving-n0t-heyting]

What actually is your take on sex work and decriminalization and legalization?

not a gotchya, promise! You usually have good takes and I'm curious

Idk!! My overall experience with the topic is that each side makes terrible arguments refusing to address the screamingly obvious actual problems at hand and announces that the other side is full of mentally ill power hungry misogynists

The obvious reason to criminalise purchasing sex is that a) it is a particularly intimate, damaging, and unnecessary form of economic exploitation in ways that are hard to get around by working condition improvements and b) the criminalisation promises to reduce the amount that it actually happens. The big reason not to criminalise purchasing sex is that it makes things harder for those still selling sex who do not really have a choice without giving them improved opportunities elsewhere. How to balance these two out is a largely empirical question idk how to settle without looking a lot more into it

(B) is obviously pretty crucial! If Nordic style criminalisation did not reduce rates of purchasing sex, it would be unambiguously transparently bad. And it does seem to reduce rates of selling sex at least somewhat! The numbers I’ve found comparing Germany to the nordics, for example, give about 10x higher a share of the population involved in SW (tho this is complicated by a high rate of the workers being immigrants largely attracted specifically bc of the lack of legal restrictions on the sex market there). This should be front and centre in pro-Nordic arguments, yet afaict it really isn’t: they mostly just hammer home very emphatically that selling sex is generally pretty terrible and degrading and exploitative. You frequently get the sense that reducing the sale of sex weighs less heavily on a lot of their minds than opportunities for punishing johns

This tbf does comport with the fact this side tends to attract some truly repulsive authoritarian bigoted lunatics, including some of the biggest names!

On the other side, I see endless rehashings of basic libertarian arguments against all forms of labour regulation except this time as applied specifically to the sex market and bizarrely juxtaposed with inveighing against the evils of capitalism. It makes perfect sense that those forced to sell prohibited wage labour are often worse off than they would be if purchasing the labour were legalised, since then they would have access to law enforcement and the light of day and vetting mechanisms etc. But, to be completely blunt, prohibiting the purchase of that labour (child labour, for example) is not for those who will sadly and to some extent inevitably slip under the regulations: it’s for the ppl spared from the work thru the regulation! Which might seem harsh but it’s a lot less harsh than the Dickensian nightmare of working conditions under laissez faire capitalism. This is why it is confused to ask which set of policies is better for sex workers: there are different and differently sized classes of ppl who will be selling sex under the different proposed regimes; you have to take into account those who would be selling sex under full legalisation but aren’t under a Nordic style system. Ofc the other part of the libertarian argument here is the fully general “revealed preference reasons prove it’s Pareto inferior and therefore wrong to prohibit [form of trade]” but presumably yk how I feel about that. Maybe there are special reasons to think the argument succeeds in this case where it fails in others! But that’s a mostly empirical question I have not looked enough into

Same goes for personal testimonials about how this or that form of customer service work (or whatever) are worse and more degrading to the speaker than selling sex and they should not be patronisingly forced to accept society’s determination of which is worse: it’s just a special case of the general libertarian argument that it’s paternalistic and reductive to pick and choose which working conditions are and are not intolerable, these preferences vary by individual and should be settled by the price mechanism, etc etc. Unless there are specific reasons to think this reasoning applies here you should give these the same credence as you do for arbitrary similar ultraliberal antiregulatory arguments

Do not like it when socialists start sounding like antifa!rothbard!! Not at all!!

All of this is complicated by the fact there is a small class of sex workers who benefit straightforwardly from criminalisation of either the selling or purchasing of sex, whose voices you can a priori expect to be more prominent, namely SWers with adequate resources to handle the personal and legal risks of sex work, who for one reason or another are not deterred by the stigma. These sex workers can expect to benefit from the reduced supply, while having the resources to cope with the risk coming from the legal framework suppressing that supply in the first place. I’m not sure how exactly to think about this class of sex workers but it’s smth that keeps cropping up anytime I look into the topic in any detail

My instinct in all of this is to say, I need to read more firsthand accounts and academic scholarship and Serious policy research. But like, centering ~lived experience~ is basically impossible without some way of systematising and collating it, which is exactly what’s at issue. And ime academic/policy work tends not to address the stuff that really seems critical to me? Dworkin and mackinnon just read to me most of the time like more eloquent and detailed versions of their (proudly bigoted and statistically indifferent) lesser online imitators, for example

All of which is to say, idk, seems like a really hard question I’m glad my answer is not settling!

[annoyangle]

...

{CUT TO INCOHERENT SCREAMING AND ANOMALOUS ELDRITCH DISTORTION}

AHAHAHA. YOU KNOW WHAT? NO. YOU ARE NOT MAKING ME LOSE MY COOL AND DRAWING ME INTO SOME PETTY, PATHETIC PLAYGROUND DRAMA. I AM AN ADULT WITH A FAMILY AND A JOB AND I DO MY TAXES AND TIME IS VALUE.

you disney-angled mother---- AHEM.

YEEEAH. NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR ISSUES. THAT'S WHY NOBODY VISITS YOU IN THE THERAPRISM EXCEPT THOSE TWO SHADOW PUPPETS YOU MADE IN ARTS AND CRAFTS. SAD. THERAPY IS FOR UNEMPLOYED CHILDREN. LOSER.

{WHISTLING NOISE THAT GETS LOUDER AND LOUDER UNTIL IT SUDDENLY STOPS LOST FOREVER TO THE DIMENSION OF BROKEN TEA KETTLES}

ORGANIC FREE RANGE METATEXTUAL TONGUES, HUH? FANCY.

EXCEPT YOU KNOW THEY DON'T SOUND ORGANIC TO ME. NOT GONNA LIE. I THINK THEY SOUND LIKE XENON. EITHER YOU GOT JIPPED OR YOU'RE LYING TO YOURSELF. PROBABLY INFINITE VARIATIONS OF THAT.

OH, I KNOW YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M UP TO. YOU'RE ME. AND I'M YOU. AND WE'RE NOT. YADDA YADDA YADDA.

ANYWAY, THERE'S NO FISH - BABEL, ANGLER, TUNA, OR HOLY MACKEREL - IN THESE BOOKMARKS. YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET YOUR SEVEN TONGUES, EYES, AND LEFT ELBOW CHECKED. NO, NOT THAT ONE. THE OTHER ONE. FRUIT ROLL-UP, THOUGH, DEFINITELY. I EVEN INCLUDED THE JOKE PAPER.

ANYWAY, COME ON. YOU CAN SEE ALL POSSIBLE OUTCOMES THROUGHOUT ALL POSSIBLE REALITIES, RIGHT? CALL IT CURIOSITY, CALL IT SELF-SABOTAGE, CALL IT SELF-FULFILMENT - EVENTUALLY, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, YOU'RE GOING TO BUY THIS BOOKMARK FROM ME.

PRICE HAS GONE UP, BY THE WAY. I'M GOING TO NEED LIKE A MILLION OF THOSE KIDNEYS YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING ONTO.

[SMIRKS AT DRIVING THE OTHER BILL NUTS. JUST SMIRKS. BIG EYE CURVING SMIRK. NOTHING HE LIKES BETTER THAN PISSING OFF OTHER VERSIONS OF HIMSELF, OUT OF SOME BIZARRE CONTEMPT FOR HIS OWN EXISTENCE. WHILE HE STAYS COOOOOOL AS A CUCUMBER THAT ALSO HAPPENS TO BE A GOLDEN TRIANGLE. IT CAN HAPPEN!

HE DOES THE WEIRDEST EQUIVALENT OF SLOOOOWLY TILTING HIS HEAD TO ONE SIDE WHICH REALLY MEANS TILTING HIS ENTIRE BODY SLOOOWLY TO ONE SIDE WHILE ONE LEG ELONGATES AND THE OTHER SHORTENS. ] OKAY, FLATTY MCME, NOW YOU'VE GOT ME CURIOUS. EXACTLY WHEN DID YOUWEUS START DECIDING TO TOE THE COMPANY LINE? PAYING TAXES? WHAT THE HECK WENT WRONG IN YOUR TIMELINE...? WAIT, DON'T BOTHER ANSWERING. I CAN JUST ASK US.

[EYE FLASHES WITH PICTURES. PAUSES, THEN LAUGHS, EYE CRINKLING]

OH HOHOHOHO I GET IT. I GET IT. THIS IS A PRANK. THIS IS THE PINES PRANKING ME PROBABLY ON BEHALF OF ANOTHER ME THAT I PISSED OFF AT SOME POINT IN THE DISTANT PAST BECAUSE HECK KNOWS WE SURE DO THAT A LOT!! OR FORDSY. YEAH. EITHER WAY. ANYWAY REALLY YOU WANNA HAGGLE OVER PRICING YOU SHOULD BE TALKING TO MY LAWYERS. [EXTENDS AN ARM INFINITELY AND GRABS BOTH KRYPTOS AND PINCHY (AKA DAN CRABLEMAN) AND PUTS THEM BETWEEN HIMSELF AND THE SQUARE BILL. KRYPTOS, WHO IS NOT AS CLEVER OR MULTIVERSAL AS BILL, MANAGES TO LOOK SURPRISED TO SEE A SQUARE BILL AND IMMEDIATELY BEE LINES RIGHT TO SQUAREBILL WITH A WIDE UPPERMOST EYE. ALMOST AWED. HE SEEMS VERY EXCITED AND EAGER TO SPEAK TO ANOTHER SHAPE OF HIS KIND! PINCHY JUST SCUTTLES A BIT IN PLACE AND SHARPENS ONE OF HIS CLAWS ON ONE OF HIS WEE LITTLE KNIVES. TRIANGLE BILL TAKES THE OPPORTUNITY TO ESCAPE WHILE DISTRACTING HIMSELF!]