Liiiiiiittle bit of a vent under the cut teehee (I'm all g)
Anyone else get stupidly upset and almost annoyed when someone comes into a space where you're happy where you are in the ability and social hierarchy (especially if you're towards the top) and they're better than you in every way? And also super nice and funny and cool?
Had this super lovely dude come in for training tonight in the class I have the most experience in, and he was just good at almost everything?? And it made me feel shitty and insecure and upset that my comfy safe happy space wasn't that happy anymore (tbf he's got a fair bit of experience himself but still).
I feel super guilty about it too!! Cause he's an awesome guy and super nice and funny!
Am I weird? Is this an ADHD thing? I'm guessing it's just something to do with me being worried about being replaced in my friend group cause this happens a lot lmao.
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also like im so glad that i learned about filtering/blocking/etc shit when i did because like i was so much more miserable when i was arguing with people on the internet 24/7. that shit stressed me out and it was on my mind constantly and then i learned that i could simply choose to not look at the stuff that upset me and ive been doing way better ever since. i genuinely feel bad for the people who engage in online discourse all the time because ive never witnessed any one of them in their element be not utterly miserable
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What tragic death would you suffer?
the forgotten
you die alone. maybe they find you right away, maybe it takes weeks. it doesn't matter because no one will remember a few years down the road. if people come to your funeral, it is not a memory they engrave into their mind. you leave no mark in the world, no legacy at all. your grave grows moss and collects dust, cracking under nothingness. soon, someone will think of you for the last time.
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@heartslayer (continued from here)
It's a quarter after midnight. Eden sits there, impassive, with her stained-glass eyes and pitchless blacks, watching him like he’s a thing to look down on. He’s all emotion. Pent-up everything. He masquerades greatness, and he bubbles over.
“Ohh, yeah, let's go ahead. Play telephone.” He splays his fingers out and rattles both his hands, exasperated. There's a tackiness to Sam when angry. Like now. “Bite the hand that feeds! Who do you think gives you Beetlejuice on speed dial, Eden? I’m the means of production. I’m Ford to you. Say hello to your old pal General Motors! ‘Masquerading greatness’. I reach out and hold stars from where I stand. I look down at you from my tower, and you know what I see? Ants!”
Sam’s hair has come out of place. There’s the fuzzy-draining feeling that comes with low blood sugar, only that's not what this is, and this is stupid, this is ridiculous, the upholstery under this chair squeaks from under him and it drives him up a wall just like her long black cloak and a call that ended with an indefinite bye.
A clock ticks. He pulls his mouth in and taps the armrest with his knuckle, deflated. "You know what?" he finally says, craggy. He picks at the seat. "It's getting kind of late."
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