#which might be important context
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Foxes as types of color guard performers (for the like 2 people who live in this part of the venn diagram with me)
Kevin:
- Parents & older siblings did DCI
- Will name drop shows from like 20 years ago and act like you should know them
- Needs direct validation from the director or they’ll take their frustration out on everyone else
- DEFINITELY a JI (derogatory)
- Pissed that they’re not captain even though they’re not a senior
Neil:
- Feral unknowingly queer child who needed an after school activity to avoid being at home (😅😅😅)
- Stays in the gym after practice to learn cool tricks
- Channels anger into conditioning workouts & gets super strong out of spite
- Isn’t naturally talented but works really hard & makes rifle line
Andrew:
- The sabre prodigy that thinks they’re too good for flag & that everyone low-key hates bc they’re jealous
- Always gets a solo & makes the choreo harder without asking bc it was “too easy”
- Never knows the counts for the choreo when asked but is always in time
- Silently counts every drop they see in other shows
Nicky:
- The first out kid on the team who sings along to the pop girlie warm up music
- Saw the Flaggots at Philly Pride and decided to join despite having no prior athletic or musical interest
- Has watched Light Brigade’s Madonna show like a billion times on youtube
- Technique is just okay but they bring ~the dramA~ when performing
Allison:
- C*nty former competition dancer who hated all the drama but still wanted to perform
- Helps underclassmen with their hair & makeup
- Hosts the “summer sectional that’s really an excuse for a pool party” every year at her house
- An absolute beast on rifle
Renee:
-Upperclassman career flag who *could* make rifle line but simply doesn’t want to
- Helps all of the flag newbies not be too scared to let go
- Unofficially in charge of team bonding
-Bakes cookies related to the show theme for show days
Matt:
- Also plays an instrument and is therefore friends with everyone
- Knows all of the cheerleaders & football players & convinces them to come to a band/winterguard competition
- Runs the guard insta & makes the section t-shirts
Dan:
- Guard captain who is very supportive but also wants to WIN
- Very strict about conditioning days, but will always chill out if someone is on their period
- Organizes a ton of sectionals even when it’s cold and no one wants to go, but always buys pizza
Aaron:
- The straight STEM girlie who somehow ended up there
- Instead of practicing, they just complain about how hard their classes are to justify not knowing the choreo
- Got in trouble with the director for being homophobic, but the team was too small to make them quit
Seth:
- Only wants to spin rifle bc he thinks flags are “for girls”
- Refuses to try during dance warmups
- Never goes to optional sectionals
- Skips band parties for “real” parties
Bonus:
Jeremy:
- Former baton girlie who’s really good at sabre & can do a bunch of cool tricks under tosses
- Always the first to point out when someone shy/new does well
- The “GET IT!!”/“You got it!!” girlie, depending on circumstance
- Organizes bigs/littles for show day traditions
#no I’m not projecting onto neil 😅😅😅#I was in HS guard 2013-2017#which might be important context#no one ask me about college guard ☠️#our director left us in ohio#the foxhole court#aftg#the sunshine court#color guard#all for the game#winter guard
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I only know Mexican Spanish, so I can only speak for myself and those I grew up with but "mami" and "papi" are not the equivalent of mommy/daddy as used in sexual or intimate relations.
We use mami and papi with our kids. It's what our tíos and tías call us that affectionately. It's what the lady from the corner store calls us when she's sweet on us and can't quite remember our names. It's what our grandparents call us as they fix up a scraped knee. And they bring out papito/mamita when we're either in deep shit, or in need of comfort that can only come from someone with more knowledge, power, or experience than us. It's a diminutive term of endearment.
I'm not saying it's never used as mommy/daddy, but it's hardly ever a title. The context of it is so wildly different, because it's usually what we call someone we're responsible for.
"Mamas" tho? Mamas can fuck.
#xavi ramblings#it's a little jarring sometimes lmao#but i thought this might be important considering some of the characters i see written with these words are specifically mexican#i'm also open to alternatives!!#would fucking love to see the same dynamic used#it's just a matter of context#i haven't been able to think of a masculine equivalent yet#because it doesn't seem to exist in the language with the same sentiment#kiko brought up that it's because so many latine households are lead and ran by the women#which leads to most possible masculine terms of endearment being diminutive#it all makes sense too that's why i love when women are mean to me#culturally built-in feature
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I was reading DunMeshi and was so confused by this phrase that I decided to look it up
(Do correct me if you think this isn’t accurate cuz I just used google)
But I find it frankly hilarious that Chilchuck is using slang from various parts of the British Isles out of nowhere in the last volume??
(I’ve now had someone explain to me that apparently it’s not uncommon for certain uncommon types of informal Japanese to be translated as slang from specific areas, typically around Britain, in English)
First of all I’d alr seen people jokingly headcanoning him as Irish on here (which was an idea I absolutely love)
ALSO I come from a part of the UK where I’m very familiar with the term ‘git’ but had never heard of a version with an e and I also had no idea it meant the same as ‘bastard’
(I have considered that this could just be the regular meaning of the word ‘get’ but I thought it wouldn’t grammatically make sense here so I assumed it was slang esp cuz he would totally call someone a git)
Anyways I’ve checked other translations and it’s not the same so I find it so funny that this one (which I’m pretty sure is the official English translation) included it
(^ another version I found online)
Anyways this is the translation I have and used as an example for this post, which I’m pretty sure is the official English translation:
Edit: Btw also check tags I kinda wrote this when I was drunk on sleep deprivation
#just love the idea of Chilchuck being at least a non-English Brit (or like from somewhere on the isles to include Ireland)#Irish Chilchuck#British chilchuck#ehem#imagine a dub that had him with an Irish accent and Senshi with the Scottish one he’s sometimes given#WE WERE ROBBED /nsrs#alas#most dubs are always just gonna be full of American accent#anyways back to relevant tags#dungeon meshi spoilers#chapter 92#(I wouldn’t consider thsi major spoilers since it has no context but gotta be careful)#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#chilchuck#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmesh#chilposting#chilchuck posting#shitposting#shitpost#random thoughts#not important#I also thought it might have something to do with the original Japanese#which is why it’s funny that some translations just don’t include it#this is probably a massive reach looking back on it cuz I was really tired when I wrote this 😭#regardless of the specifics#I was just interested by the sudden use of slang/informal language#lesbianslovenamari
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straight up not respecting some of the alleged p2 characters' ages as they were given on the VA's papers bc you're telling me this is a 27yo man on the left & a 35(!)yo woman on the right? you jest. this woman is in her 20s at most. she doesn't have a wrinkle of age on her face. just worry. i know men age like milk this is taking the piss. i know patho 2 is the "hot blemishless 20something white(-passing) women" game but at this point own it. don't try lying to me. she doesn't look a day past 29. got friends below 25 with more winkles. in the first half of the 20th century too. where would she be getting her anti-aging serums.
you're telling me this woman who's a chronic worrier, dealing with chronic pain, who smokes like a locomotive to cope is allegedly 5 years Older than this guy who's been drinking himself to sleep for like 5 years.
(mike's mic voice) don't piss me off
#alledged(?) VA papers? would love to have a peep. might go wander VK if i can make the trek#sorry for getting heated over p2 yulia again. it's no secret i vastly prefer her design in p1#but this is aggravating. chrewly.#i know why that is. i knooooowwww why that is. it's because people in the team (coughs) (coughs) & in Media in general cannaeeeeee stand to#create women who actually look over 25. even women who are supposed to be older.#which while a media Trope/problem across media and genre it's not helped with a certain writer's. hmmm. alleged proclivities.#i would respect her being 35 if you have her to me looking 35. her skin is as smooth as 10 yrs younger Lara with one (1) slit#between the brows that just seems to come from her being a thinker & a worrier. nuh-uh!#ah hell naw!!!#i'm profoundly a p1 ages truther except for most of the kids + rubin. i know men age like milk but that guy is Not 23.#also p2 27yo daniil vs 30yo twins They Have Naht met at first year uni with that timeline. & it is important for me that they do.#most of the kids being averaged to ~15 real to me though. we all been here.#neigh (blabbers)#some of the ages on it make no sense [not just yulia but also like. aspity. who looks like a 20something & is actually ageless/5yo]#& while i can guess it's for like The Vibes / voice acting direction i assume it would make more sense to give the actual age & then add#like context to why they would sound older because that's something you might(?) need to know... would really want to see that with my eyes
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mild wank
tbh the fact that they did in fact have a frost giant on the throne of asgard has made extra sceptical about a lot of this fandom's meta. i know i seem like (am) a bitch about things but i do try to see the point someone is trying to argue. okay maybe loki did try and talk thor out of going to jotunheim. maybe he didn't usually get to go on these little murder-sprees because of the social isolation of being terribly important. maybe thor and loki both started out as anti-imperialist commies. maybe they really were allergic to the solid gold palace they grew up in.
but no, i can do that less now. i just think "well, given that nobody had in several hundred years bothered to try and avoid the otherwise quite likely having of a frost giant on the etc etc, i have my doubts about this thing that character said too and how you, oh fellow traveller in fandom, have interpreted it."
#also none of you know how monarchies work and that's increasingly hard for me to keep pretending i haven't noticed.#for instance i never saw anyone mention that the 'imagined slights' bar of a prince is not where ours would be?#because it would include “this person didn't bow low enough when they met me” and shit like that wouldn't it?#especially in the context of “i am so oppressed by being only the second most important person on this flat planet”#the frost giant reveal is partly NOT about the facts of the matter so much as about this *would* explain any of those slights.#even though nobody else seems to know. but it makes sense in the lad's confused little mind in that moment doesn't it?#they somehow knew and every worry is now objectively true and also worse than it was before because now he thinks he deserves it D:#even the 'odin had a secret evil plan' thing might for all we know be based on one incident where he didn't spot his frosty son in a crowd#which OF COURSE meant he was shunning him and it made no sense at the time but now? oh now it does! (it does not. it never really happened.
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Chappell’s thoughts on the election sound a heck of lot like many of the takes I see daily on social media in fandom spaces and leftist spaces and on my personal accounts from people I went to high school/college with etc. etc. and I actually think it’s helpful that she’s giving voice to the thoughts a lot of people are clearly having and acknowledging a fairly prominent point of view amongst a portion of young voters whilst STILL ultimately saying she’s going to vote (for Kamala!) and emphasizing the importance of local elections. Like, I personally don’t agree with her stance but many people do and many in that group are the ones going around saying they’re not voting entirely or trying to get us all to vote Jill fucking Stein. Maybe what Chappell is saying will register with some of that group? Maybe they will get out and vote for Kamala despite not agreeing with all of her policies and viewpoints? Which is…a positive thing? What am I missing here 😭
#like is it just me or does this level of backlash feel very insane idk#saying both sides are bad is vastly unhelpful yes but it was more harmful for accounts like fucking pop crave#to put that line out there KNOWING people would latch out without seeking out the full context or follow up#chopping off the back half of her quote where she talked about doing your own research…#and the importance of not disregarding local elections in addition to voting for the presidency#like no she’s not the most articulate and I don’t agree with a lot of what she’s saying but I know many many people who do!#and she might be able to influence them in positive ways!#the crux of it is that a vote doesn’t have to mean you agree with every policy and we must still continue to put pressure on our leaders to#better reflect the values of their constituencies.#all of which is CORRECT.#erghhh. anyway. Chappell they could never make me hate you.#politics
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A mini Meiro ref
#keese draws#oc art#oc#furry#I’m still working on her stuff but I adore her so much#I also need to decide what other materials were used to make each of the main characters#for context when having a kid in this world you first make a plush (or doll) and then give up some of your life magic#this process can include any number of ppl and it’s usually safer with more ppl but it’s also important that the child has the same or#similar material as the parent(s)#and these materials do not have to be traditional materials used in toys but again it pretty much entirely depends on the family line#on the continent that the main cast are all from plushies are most common but there’s some dolls#one of raiden’s parents was a doll and as such their skin was made of porcelain#I have some vague ideas for what textures the others have but not rly specific material#which doesn’t Technially matter but it matters To Me#it mostly only matters when one of them is hurt bad enough that they’d need patch work done#so basically a skin transplant#usually their bodies are more on the organic side until they get injured#so like if you had a glass doll they wouldn’t literally be made of glass most the time even if they kind of looked like it#they also wouldn’t carry all the properties of glass endless they were injured#so they wouldn’t have to worry about falling over and shattering lol#but if they did get injured it’d probably be really fucking annoying to heal#there Is some healing magic out there but it’s usually pretty hyper specific sorts of healing#but yeah most of the cast are made with softer materials that can be stitched closed so they have less to worry abt#except for raiden rip bozo#well choice might be closer to cardboard I haven’t decided yet#cardboard was definitely used for them but they might have a layer of fabric over it#but yeah for meiro I’m imagining smth more silky? haven’t fully decided yet tho
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like when i was in 6th grade i started an original novel that i then abandoned mostly-complete, came back to a few years later, and finished it, out of SPITE because i didn't like seeing it in my drafts and knowing it wasn't done.
and was it cool that i'd written a whole novel? sure! do i wish i'd, like... enjoyed it more? ABSOLUTELY YES. but at the time when i began the story, i had no idea how to write something that would feel like me. when i returned to it, proofreading was a massive pain because i was constantly cringing at what seemed like sixth-grade-me's embarrassingly clumsy attempts at writing something Cool™. i didn't see any way to salvage the story. and that was because all it had originated in was that desire to write something Cool™. that goal drove every creative decision. not a shred of it was genuine. there was nothing to salvage. so i just slapped together an ending, out of a sense of obligation, and that was that.
in 8th grade, i wrote a psychological horror short story about someone trapped in a room full of unsynchronized clocks. i think i'd just read the tell-tale heart. it creeped out everyone who read it. it wasn't at all Cool™. it was leagues, LEAGUES better - more sincere, more committed, more impactful - than that novel i'd started a couple of years earlier.
fanfiction isn't Cool™. fandom is still often cringed at in the Mainstream™. but Coolness and the Mainstream are the death of creativity. if all you're doing is imitating whatever's recently achieved commercial success, it will feel empty. a pastiche of booktok buzzwords is just that.
but if you allow yourself to create something ~cringe~, fully and wholeheartedly, then you can connect with your readers. you can figure out how you want to write. and you'll enjoy the writing process, instead of staring at a draft you started years ago, wondering how to finish it with the minimum possible effort so you can cross it off your list.
#and that's also why ao3 helped me embrace my own ideas#because i could post my writing and find people who genuinely enjoyed it#which developed my confidence in my own ideas#that might be a strange take - 'local writeblr developed confidence in original ideas through fanfiction'#but writing fanfiction very powerfully exercises the 'what if' muscle in your brain#which is the most important tool for any sort of creativity#ao3 was where i found readers who weren't like. my family and friends who wanted to be encouraging#just random people on the internet who liked my writing!#even though they had no personal connection to me!#so then i built up actual faith in myself#aided by experimenting with form and story length and narrative conventions#in an informal fun context#rather than cutting myself off by forcing myself to produce Marketable Material™
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i feel like ppl push back against geoff's narrative by claiming he was the first to posit kon being actually kryptonian but this is just not true............. sb94 itself and wf3 both heavily imply/outright state that kon is a clone of superman with a small amount of stabilizing dna from paul westfield. this is an internal inconsistency with his established intro in rots and adventures of superman, but it's still like. in text stated. just look at hypertension arc. black zero talks explicitly about all the kons across the timelines being clones of superman who simply haven't grown into their full powers yet. geoff isn't the originator of this idea y'all he just retconned the human dna donor into lex instead of paul.
#also as a matter of personal opinion.#kon being an actual kryptonian clone works more elegantly in the narrative just like. occam's razor-wise#and the major reason he was established as being human emulating kryptonian powers is that there was that major editorial mandate#at the time it was prioritized that clark be the ONLY real kryptonian#this was later relaxed (kara. later versions of kon) but that was the driving force for superman during kon's creation#which imo is important context to consider#anyway. i keep seeing posts pushing back against fanon claiming this but it's just. that's not actually true#there are many real reasons to complain about geoff and about fanon without just making stuff up.........#this is the thing i was vaguely complaining about the other day btw. im still atm too lazy to go get citations#but is2g the power of spite might compel me soon#kon#rimi talks
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yknow it’s probably too much of me to expect batfam fans to read comics (/s) but it really really pisses me off when people just erase jean paul and azrael from her life…completely. and not because they’re my girl. because they are one of cass’ MOST IMPORTANT early relationships. they are THE FIRST to completely connect with and understand her. erasing them as a character in her life is getting rid of the first person to really see her. babs knew her first, but she didn’t understand her until batgirl 2000. bruce understood her, but didn’t know or connect with her until way later in bat comics.
#hesitant to post this because i’m worried some people might see this as me trying to center a male character in cass’ narrative and story#which i am NOT trying to do. i’m simply saying that taking jp/az out of her backstory gets rid of a lot of important context for how#she connected with and communicated with people#and how they communicated with and connected with her#at least in her early days#jp/az posting#i’m not going to maintag cass in this too many batfanon onlys are in those tags
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ok i get why anthy has creature of delirium now
#rgu ramblings abound:#i just assumed she had many-faced as in. socially. shifting to be whatever the current Engaged wants#but no yeah ep 23. she does do that.#what in the (end of the) world were those hands during ep 22 though#like yeah yeah time is fucked so the hourglass is blue for illusion#tokiko's lipstick on the teacup was orange so like... juri-color. hopeless relationships? i cant pin it down in words but yknow what i mean#but what was the black cats teacup butterfly guys holding hands etc about? might be missing cultural context. ill read some analyses later#god mikage is such a good character though. WILL miss him going ''fukaku motto fukaku''.#i know akio is the patriarchy but like. is he... a reverse bodhisattva or something????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#keeping people in the schoolgrounds-of-not-letting-go-of-the-past??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#..himemiya under orders from himemiyas brother pretended to be mamiya trying to get people to kill himemiya so mamiya could become himemiya#not quite ''vergil teamed up with vergils brother and vergils son to kill vergil so vergil could become vergil'' but close enough#saionji is the only one sweating during the intro. wonder what that means#i saw an utena out-of-context compilation before watching the show and like#nanami lesbian moment which i have no context for had birds. juri shiori episode had a birds. is birds lesbians???????#the cmwge seed program is EXTREMELY utena student council huh.#...i watched a few more episodes before posting#i had written a whole thing about how i didnt get why anthy was on CoD because they pull the sword out of *her*#and had an epiphany about how she like. used the black rose duelists as vessels and extracted the student council's swords#but nope! she's straight up pulling the sword out of utena now#the subtitles called the elevator a ''gondola'' and... I Don't Think That's What That Is. Like. At All#also god is akio creepy. viscerally uncomfortable man. i wish to Punt him#is the new ed song about jesus??? a full analysis wouldnt fit here but yknow. dante's paradiso mentioned. also nge is full of jesus so#also! empty motion??? after the primum mobile thing??? that seems important!!! is it referring to the eternal thing? i guess?#from that ooc compilation- touga repeated akio's throbbing engine thing p much verbatim to saionji. something something cycles of abuse#(it WAS an EXTREMELY funny scene though)#huh. not a single man in this show is normal about women. is that a themes thing or#oh wait no. yamada tanaka and suzuki. love those guys. i def didnt have to look up their names what are you talking about#also mamiya i guess but he doesn't count he's dead#was really expecting utena to turn into a car during the saionji duel. like. the whole arena's cars. i know she does it but if not now when
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please tell me I have some writing studies followers who will find this as funny as I do
#okay the CONTEXT is that i'm currently drafting some stuff for my honors thesis which is about plagiarism#and one specific form of plagiarism is patchwriting which basically means#“changing it enough to avoid plagiarism detection software but not truly rephrasing it in your own words”#there's a more specific definition but generally speaking it's problematic less cuz of ethical issues#and more because it shows a student may not fully grasp what the source they're citing is saying#anyway. the reason why this is funny is cuz rebecca moore howard COINED THE TERM#it's okay tho she'd love and appreciate me and recognize that patchwriting can be an important developmental milestone#she's LITERALLY my mom#rambles#(also to be clear the reason why i don't want a more wordy description - or just a quote - is cuz this is for research not the report)#(part of a survey I want to conduct. so i can't assume that the people taking the survey will know what it is.)#(and i don't want to bore them. cuz even though i'm Literally surveying professors. they still might get bored.)#also to be clear part of the humor of this is that this comment is for my advisor#who i probably wouldnt say this to if not for the fact that she found the least formal annotation ive ever done in an annotated bibliograph#fucking HILARIOUS
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an impulse i don't get—
or rather, so as not to be disingenuous, an impulse i get perfectly well but strongly dislike when i'm faced with it, which means i need to reexamine it in myself when i generate it—
is the impulse to sit in judgment about What Counts As Queer. like. yeah, okay, i do get it really, we're all disempowered by hegemonic culture and setting ourselves up as petty kings shores up our egos! but if there's anything i've loved about discovering queerness in and for myself, it's been the realization that there were worldviews beyond my own—and that there still are, almost certainly! that the world is a firework show of exploding possibility, and that i and my current understanding of myself and everyone else are just one bright spark in a whole connected series of them, and that more will come after me, bringing new colors and configurations to my field of vision, if i just keep my eyes open…
and so i just always feel. god. how close-minded, to shut your eyes to someone else's vision of queerness, to say not just 'that isn't a version of queerness that i recognize or feel represented by,' but to say categorically, 'that isn't queer'! if someone's saying in all sincerity, 'this feels alien to the framework i grew up with, and exciting or comforting or both to me'—i want to hear them out, and make space in my own understanding for a multiplicity of queernesses. i'm not always perfect at it! but i want to.
because what's the alternative? join with the biphobes and transphobes who would've said my gq4gq relationship with my transfem ex was really just straight, or at least enough of a union of opposites for government work? join with the aphobes and arophobes who are constantly insinuating that if you're not actively sucking or fucking, you're a square—never mind those of us who are isolated, or traumatized, or anxious, or any of the thousand other reasons why our queerness might not be siting itself in sex or romance, right now or ever! join with the people who sneer at poly and flinch from kink, as if reexamining those relational conventions were somehow cleanly separable from reexamining all the other ones—as if we should want it to be?
anyway, this is about a lot of things, really, and at least one of them i pretty actively don't want to talk about in specific; but i just think, god, i wish we could all learn a little more generosity, and a little more humility. we know the world, and the human heart, encompass more than is dreamt of in kyriarchal philosophy; why then are we so resistant to the idea that they might also encompass more than is dreamt of in our own? movement after movement of queers have come, and built, and been built upon in turn; our personal convictions are not, i feel certain, the final course to be laid down on the great work of enlightenment and liberation—and how depressing it would be, if they were!
#there's an invisible Works Referenced here that includes a post i keep not reblogging bc it's too aggro#but it's about like. there's no single masculinity or femininity#similarly i think. there's no single queerness‚ because there's no single straightness; it's a complex construction—constriction—#and so our resistance to it must necessarily be equally complex‚ to meet it where it crops up and set it aflame#and so like. just because something isn't your queerness‚ or mine‚ doesn't mean it can't be someone else's!#there's something else i was thinking of‚ too‚ but i forgot it already‚ lol#this isn't the like. clearly-structured post i wanted to write‚ i got mad and florid instead#and i expect i've left out some of what i meant#but like. sometimes you—i—have to just run with that‚ or else express nothing at all…#anyway i just think like. yeah‚ models of maybe-queerness we see in the world might wound us‚ or anyway look as though they might!#it's a possibility!#but what's not a possibility‚ but a certainty‚ is that the rhetoric i've seen used to *dismiss* various representations#as Not Queer Enough#has for SURE wounded me! and almost certainly wounded others who've just curled up silently and said nothing about it!#anyway. idk. 'NOT HET BUT HETERODOX‚' proclaims my protest sign#is this coherent without specifying all its context? maybe not. but the fundamental stance isn't contextual for me—#it's something i think is important to uphold‚ and where i fail at it (which i do!)‚ to give myself a good hard squint#and work out how to realign my reactions with the principles i actually want guiding them#anyway. good morning‚ lmao. have a diatribe
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Spot the owl part ?:
Owlgate
#byler#stranger things#joyce + hopper = willel twins#+ jon#willel twins#willel literal twins#owlgate#looking for something else entirely and coming across owls is the best#ngl hopper might have the most owl references...#which...#why?!?!!?#like why have him and the byers have owl references#if not to imply something connects all of them?#but why would whoever is watching them be watching hopper more than the byers?!?!#unless he is somehow very very important to that family...#like it gives the implication esp in the context of the s4 moments with owls that it's meant to represent these people being watched...#going back to the very first episode#will gets the first owl reference#then hopper gets the second...#like the very first scene after the opening credits is hopper and his owl and keys...#then joyce and jon and their keys#then el in 1x02 with the owl in mike's basement...#el in front of the key poster in the hallway at the middle school#like??!?!?!?!?!?!?#answer for those that couldn't spot the owl: middle left
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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growing up is realizing that the authors of your favourite childhood books might actually be shit people
#jkr 🤝 michael ende#the crab raves#it's painful but you gotta push through it#you can still enjoy the good in their content#and (in ende's case at least) recognize that they tried#but still point out that the content is problematic at times AND see where this might come from#authors are products of their time period and environment and sometimes this shows in the way they portray characters#and the vocabulary they use#it's interesting to see but also makes you recognize some of the more questionable choices the author makes#one thing that bothers me though#is those kinds of people who will say that media is racist just because there's racist characters in it? even if they're clearly portrayed#as villains#context is important#in hp for example the racism allegations don't stem from the fact that there's a racist extremism group#it's the fact that racism is deeply ingrained into the status quo of the society#and is not opposed or resolved by the main characters#not portrayed as an issue#that's the problematic thing. not some crazy death eaters#which. please stop glorifying them#talking too much#just something that's on my mind#writing#tw racism#tw jkr mention
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