#hesitant to post this because i’m worried some people might see this as me trying to center a male character in cass’ narrative and story

[swordofazrael1992]

yknow it’s probably too much of me to expect batfam fans to read comics (/s) but it really really pisses me off when people just erase jean paul and azrael from her life…completely. and not because they’re my girl. because they are one of cass’ MOST IMPORTANT early relationships. they are THE FIRST to completely connect with and understand her. erasing them as a character in her life is getting rid of the first person to really see her. babs knew her first, but she didn’t understand her until batgirl 2000. bruce understood her, but didn’t know or connect with her until way later in bat comics.

[admirationandromantics]

Going overboard, 4: Loyalty

Okay, so next chapter out, hope you like it! Sorry for posting a little late, but here it is anyway (btw sorry for the gif...) Again, reminding people that my requests are open and next chapter will be posted tomorrow <3 PS! Don't worry, there'll be more smut later in the story.

“Chris!” I shout, turning him around. He starts grunting, eyes slowly opening. 

“Ash?”

“No, no Chris it’s me.” I say, trying to sound comforting. 

“What happened? Where are the others?” 

He slowly sits up, looking around. His hand moves up to his head, touching a large bruise. 

“We heard Josh, and Ashley got dragged into this room. The door was locked, and I did my best to get it open.” I nod, hand on his shoulder, signalling for him to continue. His breathing quickens as he continues talking. 

“And, and… When I got in she was laying on the floor. There was this guy in a mask.” he trails off. Like he doesn’t know what happened after. I get nervous, is there some kind of murderer on the mountain with us? 

“And then? I ask. 

“Then you found me.” I look around, but there’s no trace of Ashley nor Josh. I help him up, and while he’s a little unsteady at first, he composes himself. 

“We need to find them,” I state, taking the flashlight beside him and turning it on. We start walking, hoping to find some sort of clue to where they could’ve been taken. The kitchen seems empty, and I’m about to walk out the door when Chris stops me. 

“Look.” He’s holding Ashley’s small pouch, embroidered with her initials. There’s some sort of red liquid on it, and I have to turn away. Fucking hell, this guy might have killed Ashley. 

“Not good, not good, not good” Chris keeps chanting to himself. I look worriedly up at him, he has to get it together. 

“Chris…” I whisper. “We need to keep a cold head, okay? Don’t jump to conclusions” 

I already feel the dread of my words. They might both already be dead, and I’m postponing the inevitable. 

“Yeah, you’re right” he whispers back. 

“But why would he keep me alive?”

“I don’t know…” I hadn’t thought about that, and I had no idea why. It didn't make sense. We make our way out of the kitchen, walking to the hallway. As we open the door, two crows fly by, and we both shriek. I’m about to ask what the birds are doing inside when I shine the light on the wall, covered in blood. “Shit shit shit” I ramble. This is not safe. We need to get out of here, out of the lodge and off this mountain. Chris grabs hold of my arm, clearly in shock. I keep going, dragging him with me. 

“Ash!”

“Josh!”

No one answers. The next door leads outside, and I look around. They must’ve gone outside, there are no other doors. We walk outside, and I shiver. I don’t know if it’s because of the cold or because I’m terrified. We walk down the stairs, and continue down the path. There’s blood spread several places over the snow. We come to a crossroad, and Chris starts walking left. I follow suit, coming to a small opening in the woods. We continue forward, Chris looking back to see that I’m still here. 

A man suddenly pops up from the ground, making both of us scream. It’s not a man, it’s a made up scarecrow-like prop. 

“What the hell?” I whisper. 

“Who would do this?” he asks, looking back at me again. 

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

I look forward, seeing something bloody and pink in the snow. I point there, making Chris shift his vision. We walk around the prop, seeing a bloodied pig-head at the bottom of a tree. 

“Aw, shit” he comments. And I gag. 

“Chris, I want to go” I state, already starting walking back. 

“Hey, hey. We still need to find the others”

I sigh in disappointment. Yes we do. I nod towards the other pathway, urging him to lead the way. He’s the man after all. We walk past the broken fence, eventually getting to a shed. 

“Ashley! Joshua!” we both shout, but yet again no answers. The shed’s door is open, and I hesitate going in, but Chris is already some paces in front, so I have to follow. There’s nothing much there, a bunch of tools and wood. Chris suddenly yells out. 

“Shit!”

I see a small cage falling from the ceiling, him barely dodging it. 

“What the fuck?” I whisper, and he shakes his head at me. 

“Chris!”

We both stop. That was definitely Ashley’s voice. 

“Ashley!” we yell in unison. We both run forward, looking around for her. 

“Where are you?” I ask. 

“I… I don’t know” she answers, and I try to follow the noise. I touch something cold and metallic. Wire fence. 

The light comes on, and we’re met with Ashley and Josh tied up against a couple of tree plates. 

“Josh! Ashley!” 

There’s a big, red saw in the middle of the room. 

“Guys, are you there?” she asks, looking up. 

“Hello, and thank you all for joining me” a dark voice says. I look around, seeing a speaker in one of the corners. 

“What the fuck?”

“Oh my god, Josh wake up!” she shouts again. I look over, seeing Josh open his eyes for the first time. 

“Oh Josh!” I shout, making him look over, giving me a confused yet scared look. I tug at the metal, but it’s not budging. 

“Tonight, we’re going to conduct a little experiment,” the unfamiliar voice says. Chris finds a door to the room, and he tries opening it, putting in his whole body. 

“Fuck fuck fuck!”

Ashley starts crying, scared out of her mind. 

“Don’t worry, we’re going to get you out of here” I tell them. 

I look around for something to cut the wire, anything, but can’t glimpse something useful. 

“A sort of test…”

“Ashley, what the hell is going on?” Josh asks, starting to shake, trying to get out of the grips. 

“Now, for this experiment, we’ll need the cooperation of our two test-subjects, Joshua and Ashley.”

“Holy shit, oh my god”

I grab the sides of my head. How the hell do we get them out of there? Chris is still trying to get the door open, but to no avail. 

“But, we’re going to need one more brave participant to help decide which subject will live, and which will die.” My stomach drops, and Chris stops tugging at the door, looking over at the both of them. No, this isn’t real. This can’t be. Ashley goes into full panic mode, screaming and trying to get loose from the ties. 

“Oh no no no!!!” 

“Chris…” I whisper, reaching out and touching his arm for comfort. What the hell is going on? He’s standing completely still, in a shocked state. 

“Get us out of here! Get us out of here now!” Ashley shouts while continuing to wiggle. 

“No you can’t do this, let me out of here you maniac!!” Josh shouts at the same time. My heart raises, and I look up to Chris. His eyes are wide open, and I can feel him shaking. 

“Please, please, everyone calm down” the Psycho continues. 

“It’s all very simple, Christopher”. Chris looks up at the speaker, waiting for some sort of instructions. 

“You will find a lever placed directly in front of you.” We both look forward, seeing a red lever with pictures of both Ashley and Josh. 

“All you have to do is choose who you will save.” My heart stops, eyes widens and hands shaking like they’ve never done before. The saw starts, making loud mechanical noises. 

“No no no no!” I yell, and start running to the door, trying to get it open. Chris is still standing still. 

“Please, stop, please” Ashley pleads, mascara running down her cheeks. 

“Don’t do this, stop this now” Josh demands. He looks over at me, and we lock eyes while I still do my best to get the door open. Chris suddenly gets out of his trance as he slowly backs away from the lever. 

“Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap” he keeps chanting. 

“Dude, buddy, let’s just think about this for a minute” Josh starts, but is interrupted by Ashley’s screams for help. 

“Get me out of here, please, please!” 

“You can’t let us die!”

Chris starts spiralling. 

“Just, just, just give me a second. I need to think.” He looks over at me for support, but I don’t know what to do. I give him the same panicked expression he bears himself. 

“I can’t think straight!” he shouts, grabbing his head in his hands, refusing to look at them. I want to help them, but I don’t know how. Ashley, who’s been my friends through good and bad, and Josh who I just started being with once again. They both had betrayed me in some way, but there was not a chance I was going to pull that lever. Tears fill my eyes as I stop tugging at the door, sinking down beside it. I can’t help but break down, the situation is too complex to do anything about. 

“Ashley, I will get you out of this, I won't let you die!” Chris comforts, but Ashley keeps her eyes shut while continuing crying. 

“Please, please no…” Josh begs. 

“Chris!” I yell over the sound of the saw. I stand up, looking around again. I see a small metal rod in the corner. I run for it, taking a hold of it before hearing the Psycho’s voice again. 

“You have chosen to save… Ashley”

“No Chris, no!” Josh shouts. Ashley keeps crying loudly. The saw starts moving toward Josh, and run to the door, placing the metall between it and the wall. 

“No no no no no” Chris rambles, not knowing what to do. 

“I thought we were friends, man! I thought we were friends. Why would you do this?” Josh cries, and I continue to push the metal. 

“No no Josh!” I hear Ashley shout. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Josh I- I don’t…” Chris continues, too deep to get his thinking straight. 

“Stop this, you can’t do this!” Chris shouts to the maniac. I hear Josh’s screams, hearing the saw starting to cut through him. The door cracks open, and run in, just in time to get covered by his blood.

“Josh!” I plead, and hear soft spoken protests before he goes silent. Ashley still has her eyes shut, crying, also covered by his blood. 

“Don’t look, guys, don’t!” Chris shouts. 

“Why? Why can’t I look, Chris, please tell me he’s okay” she whimpers. 

The door on the other side pops open, and Chris runs in and unties her. I rub the blood off my face, being met with a saw still moving, and Josh’s body parted in two. The world goes silent as I fall to my knees. His eyes are closed, his upper body still being held up by the ropes. I cry, loudly, screaming and shouting. I can’t breathe, my intakes small and quick. I feel two arms take hold of me, dragging me out of the room, and out of the shed. 

“We need to go” Chris whispers, his voice squeaky and broken. I let him lead me out to Ashley, who’s sitting in the snow, crying and shaking her head. 

“Chris!” a familiar voice says. Matt and Emily are coming towards us, their eyes filled with worry. They start running, Emily kneeling down to me, her face filled with horror. She uses my tears to dry off the blood on my cheeks. Matt gets a hold of Chris, keeping him on his feet. 

“Who’s blood is that?” Emily asks, clearly shaken already. 

“Are you guys okay?” Matt adds, having to use his full force to stop Chris from falling down. 

“Josh…” I whisper, and Emily looks down at me again. 

“Josh what?”

“H-he died” Chris begins, starting to cry even harder. Ashley can’t stop sobbing, mumbling ‘Josh’ over and over. 

“Right in front of us” Chris continues. 

“What?” Matt asks, clearly confused. 

“There’s this Psycho on the mountain” I add, grabbing Emily’s arm to keep myself up. 

“Wait what, a Psycho?” Matt asks, looking down at me, waiting for me to continue. 

“He’s going to kill us all” Ashley manages to squeak out. 

“Something’s not right” Matt states, looking at Emily. 

“We need to get out of here” she adds, helping me up on my feet before helping Ashley. 

“I still don’t understand what’s happening”

“There’s a maniac, and he killed Josh with a saw in some sick game”

“He’s going to kill all of us”

“I had to choose between him and Ash, and the saw cut him in two, spilling fucking everywhere and he dead and…”

Ashley falls to the ground again, but I am quick to grab her, keeping her steady. 

“What? What the fuck, oh my god Chris” Emily starts, but I don’t know what there’s to say. 

“I-I killed him, I did!” Chris cries. 

“No the Psycho did, you didn’t” I shakily tell him, holding onto Ashley for dear life. 

Matt and Emily look at each other. 

“No, this is insane, we need to get help” Emily states. 

“We’re going to figure this out” Matt says, keeping his hands on Chris. “We need to find the others” he adds, seeking confirmation from Emily. 

“But we also need help, Jess and Mike are off 69-ing each other and god knows where Sam is.”

“She’s in the lodge” I state, suddenly scared for her. I didn’t even think about looking for her before coming here. 

“Okay, we split” Emily starts. 

“You guys get to the lodge, find Sam. We’ll go get help, there was some radio tower on the mountain, we could try and reach someone there.”

I nod. At this point, Ashley has stopped crying, she’s just completely silent. Chris takes her off my hands, starting to walk back to the lodge. I follow them, turning around to Emily and Matt. 

“Be quick, come right back when you’re done” I demand, and they both nod back at me. I run back to Ashley and Chris, unbothered by all the animalistic sounds coming from the forest. I just cry, silently. Josh is dead. Josh, who I was with just an hour ago, is dead. The picture of him being capitated covers my mind, clouding all other senses.

I arrive at the lodge, but instead of walking in, I sit on the stairs, stroking my fingers over the scrape on my other arm. I touch my hand, still feeling a faint warmth where he held me. It’s in my imagination, but I still let myself believe it. I sit outside until the tears stop flowing, and my lips are cracked and skin salty. 

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

500 Followers + 500 Words: S. Coups

-> Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x Ex-GF!Reader

-> Requested by: Anon

-> Prompt: 38 - Y/N has no one else to call, she calls her ex-boyfriend who still has her back no matter what.

-> Warnings: talks of a clean break up. mentions a sick parent. There's no hate between Coups and Reader. Right person, wrong time vibes.

-> Word Count: 502

-> Request: Closed.

500 followers = 500 words Masterlist | Main Masterlist

©️ 2024 dancinglikebutterflywings - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead

Y/N couldn’t believe it. She felt so embarrassed as she sits in the passenger’s seat of her ex-boyfriend's car.  

An hour ago, the guy she's been seeing for the last month left her stranded on the side of the road. This came after he told her that he come to the realisation that he doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship just yet. That he wanted to keep things casual and open to seeing other people all because he met another woman couldn’t decide right now who he wanted to be with. Instead of letting her anger get the better of her, she ended things, telling him that’s not what she wanted. After his failed attempts at trying to convince her to change her mind, he kicked her out of his car, leaving her standing in the rain. 

As she stood there, drenched and shivering, Y/N scrolled through her phone for someone to call but quickly realized she had no-one. She didn’t have enough money for an uber, her best friend was away on her honeymoon, her mum was taking care of her sick dad, her brother’s away for military training and she didn’t have any co-workers willing to drive the distance to pick her up this late at night. A majority of them had children to take care of.  

When she landed on her ex’s name, she debated whether she should call him or not. They were still sort of friendly. Their relationship didn’t end badly. They both became busy with their jobs and finding time for each other became difficult, so they just kind of drifted apart.  

After a good five minutes, she called him and he didn’t hesitate to come and pick her up.  

“Thank you for coming all this way to get me,” she thanks him, breaking the silence that had fallen over them, after he started the drive back to her apartment. “And on your birthday of all days. I’m sorry if I interrupted any plans you had.”  

"Don't worry about," he assures her that it's okay. "When Seungkwan, Mingyu and Hoshi found out it was you calling, they insisted I come and get you and bring you back. I told them you might not want to." 

"I want to," she tells him, wanting to celebrate his birthday with him and his chosen brothers. A part of her also wanted to see them all again. Feeling a little guilty for not having kept in contact with any of them since her and Seungcheol’s break up, she missed them like crazy.  

"Are you sure?" he asks, "You've had a rough night. It's okay if you don't want to come and socialise with all of us." 

"I'm sure, Seungcheol," she assures him. Even though they’ve been broken up for a while now, she still cares about him. "It's your birthday. I would love to be there to celebrate it with you." 

Seungcheol, smiles and changes from driving to her apartment to where his birthday celebration was being held.  

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[ghosty-writes-23]

Incorrect COD Quotes Part. 2

!WARNING!: Suggestive (Slightly spicy) & dark humored content.

Ghosty's Notes: Some of these might be a little suggestive or contain dark humor, so you have been warned, V is my own female OC but can be read as x reader if you prefer that, also thank you so much for the recent support, I was a little hesitant to post these, but seeing how people have been liking them, I promise to make more in the future :)

Thank you for all the support, it means alot❤️

-Ghosty❤️

----------

V: *is watching Ghost workout with König* “They are so big and so dumb, and one day I'm gonna top them.”

Soap: “you and me both Lass.” 

*both V and Soap highfive*

----------

Gaz: “I pull women”

Soap: “I pull men.”

V: “i’m gonna pull the fucking trigger in a second.”

Price: *is looking at V horrified*

----------

*V is in Price’s office after a successful mission*

Price: *pats V on the shoulder* “I'm proud of you kid.”

*Alexia play daddy issues by the neighbourhood*

V: *holds back tears and voices cracks slightly* “T-Thanks sir.”

Price: *processed to give her a papa bear hug gently patting her back*

----------

Task Force 141 men: *sees V covered in blood, laughing with an almost psychotic grin on her face*

Ghost: *looks at V with almost hearts in his eyes* “I'm gonna marry that woman one day.

Soap: *chuckles* “Not if I do it first.”

----------

V: *is being help captive by Valeria*

Valeria: *is standing inches away from her face* "tell me everything you know."

V: *giggles like a school girl and would be twirling her fingers in her hair, if her hands weren't tied to the chair* "your eyes are really pretty."

----------

*Task force 141 + V are at their local pub after a mission well done*

Soap + V: *are sitting at the bar slightly intoxicated* 

Ghost + Price: *are playing a game of pool, but are keeping an eye on the two at the bar*

Soap: *finishes his drink* “I bet you can’t do a wheelie on your motorbike right now.”

V: *gasps and looked at him offended* “I will have you know sergeant, I bet I can, watch me.”

Gaz: *who is the most sober out of the three* “Guys, I don’t think that is a good idea.”

V: *is already pulling out her keys and is slightly stumbling to the door* “Oh please Kyle, what could go wrong.”

Gaz: *is slightly worried she is going to try and actually do it* “maybe you killing yourself for one.”

*Before she makes it out the front door V’s keys are suddenly pulled out of her hand*

Price: “I'm taking these until you are sober.”

V: *pouts but nods*

----------

*Both V and König are in his room, V has her legs resting comfortably on his broad shoulders as she brushes her fingers through his hair and König is cleaning his knife from his previous mission*

V: “How is your hair so soft?” *keeps running her fingers through it, pouting slightly*

König: *is thankful she can’t see his face at the moment as it would be the same colour as a tomato* “I don’t know.”

V: *smirks slightly to herself, deciding to tease him slightly and gives his hair a soft tug*

König: *lets out a groan like moan before looking up at her his eyes wide*

V: *is smirking widely before placing a kiss on his forehead* “Cute.”

König:

----------

Price: *takes the task force 141 men + V out on a camping trip*

Gaz: “how much further.” *is close behind Price*

Price: “not that far.” *steps over a fallen log*

V: *rests her head on Ghost shoulder as she is getting a piggyback, because she sprained her ankle standing in a rabbit hole, not even 20 minutes into the camping trip*

Soap: *decides to tease Ghost* “Do you want to switch there L.T, your looking a little tired.”

Ghost: *scoffs quietly under his mask before tightening his grip on V’s thighs slightly* “I’m fine.”

V: *starting humming a tune* “Toss a coin to your witcher, oh valley of plenty”

Ghost: “You watched that TV show with Johnny didn’t you.”

V: *smiles wide and nods* “The song is catchy.”

*By the time they got to the campsite, the whole group was sing toss a coin to your witcher*

----------

©Ghosty-writes-23, 2024. all rights reserved. Do NOT translate or repost my work, or make AI Bots without my permission.

[darkeraurora]

Admissions - Chapter 11

VERY NSFW - Word count: 8638

Ch 11 of ??

First of all, thanks to everyone who read, liked, and reblogged the previous chapters!!

This isn't quite what I wanted it to be, but we're moving and life is about to get really hectic. So I didn't want to wait months longer to post this. I'll probably go back and add to it later after our move. Make it jucier.

The corridor outside was bustling with people heading to their barracks for the night. Simon, for once unperturbed by their racket, paced the length of their room while he waited for Sereza. The Brit kept sneaking little peeks at the drawer of his bedside table, then over to the door, and back again.

Internally he fought to maintain his resolve that his past wouldn’t interfere with him showing Sereza how much he loved and desired her. Not anymore. But unpleasant memories were especially loud in his head tonight. The past had already robbed him of so much, and Ghost was trying his damndest to draw the line at it threatening to take Sereza and this chance at happiness from him as well.

Still unnerved and his stomach twisted into knots, but he kept repeating Sereza’s words in his mind: he had her full permission to touch her as he wished but also, he didn’t have to force himself into anything physical to keep her love.

Rationally Simon knew he had nothing to worry about; they were both looking out for each other just like she had said some time ago. He was her priority just like she was his.

Ghost just had to argue with his trauma-ravaged brain about the whole thing first. That obstinate fucker.

Walking over to the small table, Simon opened the drawer and pulled out his black bandana. The fabric slid through his fingers, catching occasionally on the rough edges of tiny scars and callouses. A bit of silver in the drawer caught the Brit’s eye. One of her earrings. She hadn’t wanted to sleep with them still on last night and this morning she’d run off in a hurry after being paged, so they remained in the drawer. Dwarfed in his hand, Ghost held one of the small jewels.

The tiny thing a physical reminder of her that calmed his racing mind. He exhaled deeply. The suffocating weight of his anxiety and apprehension gradually ebbed.

He could do this.

XXXXX

“Remember your safe word?”

His beauty nodded, “Gummy bears.”

After some snickering on both sides over the word’s silliness, Simon laid the blindfold over her eyes and secured it behind her head. Ghost searched what he could see of her expression for the smallest indication of reluctance or unease, but found only a bit of tightness in her body language. Nothing more. “You alright Love?” he checked, sliding his palms down to her shoulders. Sereza didn’t hesitate to give him a nod and a small smile in response to his question. Once more Simon found he was thoroughly humbled by the amount of trust his girlfriend was showing she had in him.

But Ghost stood rooted to his spot as he regarded her. A feeling of deep dissatisfaction enveloped him.

This was wrong.

The Brit sighed unhappily and reached back behind her golden curls, gently tugging the bandana off again.

He was met with a very confused look. “I can’t do this,” Simon shook his head. “This, I mean,” he quickly clarified, gesturing with the bandana before flinging it onto his desk. “For a lot of reasons but mostly it’s… I hate the idea of you forcing yourself to do something you might not want to because of me. And I can’t- I can’t handle the thought of making you feel like a body I’m just… using.”

Sereza rested her palm under his jawline. “You love me, right?” Ghost nodded without hesitation. “Just like I love you. I’ve never felt anything but safe with you Si, but if that feels wrong to you then we won’t do it,” Sereza smiled up at her ghost with an expression of pure adoration. “You really do have a beautiful heart Simon.”

Ghost cupped his hands around Sereza’s face as he leaned down to kiss her. Relishing how it felt to be like this with his little one. To be loved. Wanted. “You are everything good in my life. And if I’m going to show you how much I love you then I want to do it the right way,” Simon told her fervently before taking her lush lips in another ardent kiss.

Her small moans and warming body were already making his blood rush. Not toward his brain.

Rather quite the opposite.

Simon pulled Sereza’s hips snuggly against him as they deepened their kiss. Her back sensually arched into him. But as it often did with everything else, his mind decided to ruin the moment by interjecting an itty-bitty detail he hadn’t thought of until now…

“Fuck!” Ghost snarled as he whirled around away from her.

“What’s wrong?”

Simon ran his hand over his hair in aggravation as he turned back to Sereza. “I hope this doesn’t come across wrong, or like I’m fucking stalling – because I’m not; or not trying to at least– but… I don’t have condoms… and I don’t want to uh, uh…”

“…to get me pregnant,” Sereza finished for him.

“Mhm,” the Brit replied sullenly. This made him sound, again, like he only wanted to use her body to satisfy his needs and didn’t know how to communicate what he meant without sounding like a complete asshole. Simon’s mind began racing at the growing tension within him, making it that much harder to put his thoughts into words. “I don’t want to cause something that will impact your life and career like… that… Not that I wouldn’t be there!” he hurriedly explained, “I-I would, it’s just-”

“Si,” the petite female tried to interrupt.

“-Fucking hell Love, I don’t know how to say what I mean properly, I just don’t think that’s a good idea right now-”

“Simon,”

“-not for either of us. And I’m not a good choice for… for that anyway. I know I fucked up and I should’ve thought of condoms. I’m so sorry, but I promise I’ll fix this-”

“SIMON.” Ghost’s rambling finally halted at her shout. With a guarded expression, he stared down at her like he was expecting an excoriating scolding over his mistake. Sereza picked up his hands and held them between their chests. “First of all, take a breath mi amor.”

Huffing out a held breath, Ghost forced his shoulders down from under his ears. Again. He couldn’t believe he forgot about those. The possibility of… tonight’s events… had his thoughts flying through his head in a hundred directions at once, so much so that he’d completely forgotten about protection. What in the bloody hell was wrong with him?

Actually… he didn’t want to think about that just now. That was a long list.

“Si… I’m on the pill. Not for, um, this exact reason; it’s to better regulate my hormone levels. I’ve been on it for about three years.”

“You are?”

“Yeah,” Sereza said as she pulled a small white plastic case from her pocket. Simon glanced down at the case she showed him with tiny pills rattling around inside. “I was actually just about to interrupt things to tell you that before we went any further – if you still wanted to try tonight, I mean,” she hastened to add.

“Oh. I see.” So… he hadn’t ruined it. They could still-

Ghost exhaled, letting his head hang as he closed his eyes, the last remnants of his momentary panic fading away. Good god he was a mess.

Sereza giggled slightly at his evident relief, Simon soon joined in with her, resting his forehead on top of hers. “You don’t need to apologize for mistakes or things that aren’t your fault mi amor. And I’m not ready for a baby either,” his beauty went on to say. “Maybe one day, but not right now. We can discuss little Simon Rileys another time, but for tonight our focus is us, yeah?”

‘Little Simon Rileys’… warmth filled Ghost’s heart. “…Yeah,” he agreed, smiling down at the face of his love. The unbidden image of Sereza pregnant with his baby, himself as a father, flashed across his mind’s eye and Ghost had to admit, he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea… one day. Maybe.

‘One day’ just didn’t need to be nine months from tonight.

He’d never envisioned his future before or entertained the idea much. The Brit had just been existing until he met this woman who brought meaning to his dark life. And building a family hadn’t crossed his mind at all. However the thought of planning for the future – a future together – with the woman he treasured felt so… natural.

“You’re right Love, another time.” Simon bent his head down, kissing his beauty and feeling immeasurably grateful for her ability to break him out of a spiral. Holding her tenderly, he kissed her harder, appreciating her taste. Sereza tilted her head back to give him better access to her mouth while his large hands wandered down, tracing the contours of her chest, to grasp the hem of her shirt. After a quick glance back at her making sure she was alright, Ghost carefully tugged it up over her head. Dark eyes focused on the black lace bra concealing her from his view. Not wanting to pounce on Sereza like some lust-driven arse, his fingers skimmed over her shoulders, across her collarbones, and up the column of her neck. “You’re so stunning,” he whispered against her as he leaned down to kiss her forehead, “Can I take it off?”

Sereza nodded but guided his hands behind her this time as she pressed closer to his chest. Curious at what his love was showing him, Simon peered over her shoulder.

Bloody hell, did all of these things have such absurdly tiny hooks? And did they all fasten in different places?

It took an annoyingly long time with his wide fingers but at last the hooks came loose. Straps hanging loosely around her figure, Simon ran his palm up and down her bare back as he nibbled her ear. Dainty hands pulled needily at his sleeves. Soft breaths of satisfaction reached the Brit’s ears. The feel of her skin, her scent, and sounds… his little one was already inundating his senses and he only had her half-naked. Barely, even.

Sereza shrugged the straps off her shoulders and let the bra drop to the floor. Feeling her movement, Ghost gazed down at her unclothed chest, exploring hands eagerly getting to work as he gently kneaded. Twisting the dusky peaks, making her moan louder for him. Without removing his hands from his beauty, Ghost backed up until he could sit on the edge of the bed. Simon pulled her closer, tugging gently on the back of her thighs, until she knelt on either side of his legs. The height brought Sereza’s breasts to the perfect level. “Beautiful,” he hummed low in his throat as his mouth closed over her nipple. Sucking. Licking.

He groaned at the taste of her skin and decided it had been far too long since he last spent time with Sereza like this. Worshipping and loving her as she deserved. A whole 24 hours since he'd last enjoyed time alone with his love - an intolerable injustice he vowed to rectify once he got past this. Tonight.

Above him, Sereza began to whimper and squirm. Simon abruptly switched to her other breast, carefully closing his teeth over the firm peak and making her bitten-off moans grow louder. Left arm around her lower back to keep her close, Ghost’s right hand splayed across her thigh before venturing upward until it came to her center. Fingers grazed over the hot, damp fabric, almost making her whine. His thumb pressed to her most sensitive place.

“Ohhh God… Si…,” she panted as she pressed her hips lower, seeking more.

Sereza’s pleasured sounds overrode the traumatized part of his brain, Ghost pulled her down onto his hand, almost aggressively, fingers firmly rubbing in circles, making Sereza buck in response. He removed his hand and pressed her down onto his covered erection by her hips, breath catching at the feeling of her through the fabric of their pants. Her warmth alone was enough to make heat start building within him.

Ghost licked up her chest and neck until he latched onto her pulse point. Sucking hard. His free hand reached around her hip to squeeze her backside. Sereza began rolling her hips while her nails sunk into her Brit’s hoodie. Parting from her throat, he observed his little one. Her head was thrown back as her hips moved slowly over Simon’s, creating a delightful friction for them both. For a moment the lieutenant simply watched, mouth slightly open. Her stunning body twisted and curved as her pelvis worked against him. When her chest moved closer to his lips, Ghost’s tongue flicked against the swell. Sereza mewled and ground her center firmly over his cock.

Growling, Ghost flung Sereza onto the bed before settling over her and kissing her like a man starved. Rising onto his knees, he hastily shed his too-warm hoodie. Dark eyes hungrily took in his half-naked beauty lying in his bed and was struck by the sight of such perfection.

As well as the contrast…

Simon was a man of war; Sereza was an angel. She saved and bettered lives; all he did was end them. A harbinger of violence juxtaposed against a spirit of mercy. A dream come true, and someone’s worst nightmare. Good… and evil?

Ghost sighed inaudibly as he sunk to his elbows, averting his eyes, and dropping his forehead to her chest. Loving arms held him close. “Mi amor?” Sereza whispered as she kissed over his hair, “I’m here with you. Come back to me, my love.” Ghost snuggled into her a bit at her soft call. Letting her voice break through his thoughts.

Despite his reputation, his prowess as an elite soldier, the slightest shred of tenderness from this tiny slip of a woman and the legendary Ghost would crumble to kneel at her feet. Sereza already knew everything about him – all his flaws, faults, traumas, and weaknesses – and accepted him anyway, just as he was. Simon was beginning to understand… even believe, that in her eyes he was worth something. Worth being cared for.

Butterflies in his stomach and heart unbelievably full, Simon lifted his face and took her lips in a kiss full of profound affection. Thanking his lucky stars for this woman having come into his life.

Wrapping an arm underneath to grip the back of her neck, his cock ground against her warm core. Simulating what was to come. Hazel eyes drifted closed at the sensuous friction. “Eyes open sweetheart,” he prompted with a small shake of her neck, “Let me see you Love.”

Sereza complied, though with considerable difficulty. Simon’s rocking hips hit all the right spots, making heat pool low in her stomach and amber eyes glaze over.

A smirk drew the corner of his mouth up. “That feel good, sweet girl?” If the wetness seeping through their clothing was any indication it very much did, yet he wanted to hear her express it. Sereza’s eyebrows knitted together as she nodded enthusiastically. She clawed at his shirt with increasing fervor and without warning, Simon broke contact and sat up on his knees. Sereza bemoaned the sudden lack of his touch. The Brit chuckled at her complaining and gazed down at his love. Partially naked, wet, and her skin flushed. Waiting for him.

But his stomach was churning.

Wanting to push on rather than give in to rampant thoughts that threatened to bring everything about tonight to a standstill, Simon reached for the hem of his shirt.

And froze.

Ghost blinked hard, fighting the tunneling of his vision.

His little one came to his rescue again. “You look like you need to stop, Si. Do you?” She laid her hands over his still holding the bottom of his shirt.

Well – yes and no. While he was beginning to feel overwhelmed, Simon was also stubbornly determined to finally show Sereza how much he cherished her. Plus he was also fairly positive that if he stopped now his painful erection might actually kill him so… maybe if he slowed down some? While he got his mind right again?

Forcing down his trepidation, Simon affectionately stroked his knuckles over the soft skin of her cheek. “You’re so important to me, Sereza. I love you so much and I’ve wanted you so… so fucking badly all of this time,” he spoke, desire deepening his voice and making his accent more pronounced. “I want to be honest with you, and not keep things from you anymore. I don’t… I don’t know that I can do this, but I want to try. I just– I need to go slow. Really slow.”

She held his wrist near her face, caressing the back of his hand. “We will do whatever you say mi amor. As much or as little as you want and we will stop the second you say because you have complete control, okay?”

“…okay,” he whispered.

Sereza paused for a spell. It was obvious he wanted this, but the sheer amount of pain he held made this level of vulnerability terrifying. We need some safe boundaries. She would be crystal clear on what her ghost was comfortable with and he would know exactly where her hands would and would not go so it should, she hoped, reduce his anxiety. “Can you help me know where is okay for me to touch you?” she asked.

“Uh,” Ghost’s eyes flicked to the side. This felt weird. “Well, my shoulders and up is good. And my chest.”

“Like here?” she asked, lowering her hands down near his diaphragm.

Simon flinched away violently, “N-no…” She snatched her hands back instantly, holding them up.

He took a second; a few deep breaths, and closed his eyes. Sereza knew he’d been hung by the ribs, but she didn’t know where the scar from it was and had been precariously close to it. That was his fault; he should have told her. Simon brought her hand up and kissed it reassuringly – both for her, to show her she hadn’t done anything wrong and he was okay, as well as for himself. That it was Sereza that held and touched him this time. “Not quite that low. Please.”

“Arms?” Truthfully, Sereza already knew those were a safe, non-threatening place. She touched his arms all the time but reestablishing their safety didn’t hurt. Plus it was an excuse to glide her fingers over his tattoo sleeve, which Ghost often said was soothing to him. All-in-all, a good way to take the pressure off Simon’s mind so he could calm down.

“Yeah arms are good,” he straightforwardly answered.

“What about hips?” His little one’s hands hovered near his lower stomach without touching.

Simon’s eyes widened as he tried to discern how he felt about that one. She had touched him there before, and lower. But only twice – once while he covered her eyes and another accidentally while she was asleep. He enjoyed both instances immensely, but tonight though was altogether different. He would be fully exposed to her… someone would see and feel all of him for the first time since Roba had…

“Don’t,” Sereza finished for him quickly as she watched his abyssal eyes lose focus again.

“Yeah don’t,” he shook his head. Ghost’s gaze became hollow and his body stilled above her. A tell-tale sign he may be shutting down.

Time to try a distraction. Moving her palms over Ghost’s broad chest, Sereza purposefully skimmed over his nipples. Just barely. Only enough for the sensation to reach him through the fog.

Simon’s mind snapped back to the present. Her hands fisted into his shirt and gave the gentlest tug. “I really wanna kiss you,” she hummed, looking up at him through her lashes as she shifted closer to him.

Simon grinned, having caught onto her plan. For all the fuss that others made about how mysterious and hard to read he was, Sereza sure had an easy time of it. Effortlessly hauling him from the dark recesses of his damaged mind. The heart he’d once assured Johnny was cold filled with warmth at Sereza’s actions because it showed she truly saw and understood him.

Dipping his head low, Ghost's warm breath fanned over her plump lips. “What’re you gonna do about it then?” his gravelly voice teased.

His beauty raised an eyebrow before she shocked him by tugging him closer until her naked chest was pressed flush against his and licking up his neck to his chin, pausing a hair’s breadth from kissing him as if daring him to finish what she started.

Blood rushing southward once more, Simon seized her under the jaw and crashed their lips together. Boldy dominating her mouth. Small palms roamed over his shoulders, up his neck to his nape, and down again toward his pecs. Tingles pleasantly prickled across his skin. Ghost’s chest rumbled as he sighed, “Your touch feels good Love.”

Sereza grinned into their kiss. “I like touching you,” she murmured. She brushed over his nipples again, causing Ghost’s muscles to quiver at her touch. His breath caught. “You like that?” her quiet voice asked.

“Yeah,” his husky growl responded, “Felt… it felt nice.” No one had ever touched him like that before, and Ghost didn’t think he’d like it but he was pleasantly surprised.

Carefully observing his expression, Sereza softly ran her nails over them. Simon inhaled sharply, the sensation sending a searing heat straight to his groin. Distantly he wondered what other surprises she had for him; what else she might do.

Not tonight – he could only conquer so many inner demons at one time – but perhaps eventually. An exceedingly entertaining thought.

Deciding he was more than sufficiently distracted now, Ghost pulled her small body close. “What if I touch you?” he mumbled near her ear while lightly nibbling the sensitive skin below.

Sereza caressed down the planes of his hard chest. “Mmm,” she moaned, “Yes please.”

Kissing and licking his way down her olive skin, Ghost laid her down on the bed again, working his way down to her stomach. His fingers toyed with the top of her leggings. “Can I take these off?” he asked her throatily. At her consent, Simon sat back and tugged the snug leggings down. Tossing them uncaringly behind him, dark eyes took the view of his beauty. Caramel curls fanned out around her, nude except for a single small piece of clothing, legs shut and drawn up protectively. The image burned into Ghost’s memory.

As wild as the sight drove him, Simon could sense her nervousness. Which wouldn’t do.

Warm palms rested on her knees as he took in his love’s doe-eyed appearance, the hint of blush on her cheeks. “You’re breathtaking Love,” his deep baritone whispered. Rough hands mapped her small, lithe frame as he explored every inch of her. “So fucking beautiful.” Slowly, always, giving her ample time to push him away if she wanted to stop, pushing no further until they were both ready, his battle-worn hands slid down her sides, splayed over her stomach, and hooked into the lacey edge of her panties. Simon paused and glanced back at his little one. Sereza lifted her hips, so Ghost tugged the black lace down along her smooth legs before dropping them over the edge of the bed.

Once again, Sereza’s legs pulled up close to her hips. Simon rubbed his hands over her thighs while leaving tiny kisses on her bent knees, giving her time. Feeling her muscles begin to relax, he lightly pressed against the insides of her knees, encouraging her to open for him while keeping his eyes on her for any sign she wanted to stop or was uncomfortable. His beauty hesitated only a breath of a second before relenting.

And allowed Ghost to spread her legs.

His midnight gaze adhered to the wet slit on full display for him. “Fuuuucking hell,” her ghost rasped as he at last had his first look at her, heart pounding out of his chest. “Holy fucking shit,” he breathed, the view having robbed him of most of his words. “Fuck… you’re so incredible, Gorgeous.” Attention entirely absorbed by her sex, the Brit’s hand absentmindedly dropped to the enormous bulge in his pants, palming his covered cock.

“Si?” a soft voice called to him.

Ghost’s stare immediately broke at her call. Leaning back over her, they whispered sweet words back and forth to one another, calming one another. Physician or not, it was still her first time with a man. Only when the worry left her eyes did he return his attention to her body.

“Can I make a small confession?” he asked, continuing at her murmured assent, “I’ve never… pleasured a woman before.”

“So I get to be your first?” Sereza smiled up at her ghost.

He flashed a sentimental grin back at his little one, “Affirmative sweetheart.” Lowering his face, he trailed slow, meticulous nibbles and licks down her neck. His body resting between her legs, Ghost’s mouth made its way down to her chest, lavishing warm licks from one breast to the other. Taking time to suck at each before his large hands slid down the sides of her torso as he continued to work his way along Sereza’s body. Past her ribs, her navel, before finally reaching where he’d dreamed of being for the past months.

Gripping the back of her calves gently, Simon opened her legs further. The bright pink flesh stood out against her olive skin. Open and wet for him. “God… look at you,” he rasped. "So gorgeous, so wet..."

“All for you, my love.”

Ghost let out a deep, greedy growl, “All for me.” Lowering onto his forearms, he kissed along the inside of her thighs, relishing her small noises. Continuing to coat her tan skin in wet kisses, leaving subtle petal-shaped marks in his wake, he moved closer to the flushed pink lips of her core. Palms sliding underneath to grip the sides of her hips, Ghost lightly nipped at the skin around her center. Soothing the small marks with a lick afterward, listening as Sereza mewled with each nip of his teeth.

A tentative lick up her slit.

Sereza let out a loud gasp as her body arched up off the mattress. He licked her again and was rewarded with a similar response. She was already panting though he’d hardly done anything yet.

Craving more of her reactions, Simon’s hands spread her pink lips apart and his mouth latched onto the bundle of nerves above the dripping entrance. Sereza loudly moaned at the sensation but had the presence of mind to swiftly cover her mouth.

“Jesus,” he moaned against her wet flesh, “you taste so sweet.” His tongue delved into the tight hole, “… my beautiful girl, holy fuck…” Ghost wrapped his arms under her trembling thighs, holding her firmly in place as he unabashedly ate his fill of her.

Clawing fingers of her free hand sunk into her pillow, needing something – anything – to keep her grounded while Ghost feasted on her.

The noises he coaxed from his love, her mouth-watering taste, and the squelching sounds of a woman being pleasured were driving Simon out of his mind. Making him almost delirious with need. Without slowing down in his feast, the Brit angled his lower body so he could press his raging erection against the mattress to relieve some of the building pressure. Making him groan, which in turn made his beauty’s toes curl when the vibrations radiated through her.

Lifting his head, Ghost took in Sereza’s heaving chest and curls tousled from all her writhing. Expression blissful as she panted from what pleasure he’d given her thus far.

With a deep inhale, he sat up and lifted his shirt swiftly over his head. Dropping it beside him – close by just in case his mind decided to act up again. He was absurdly appreciative Sereza still had her eyes closed for the moment. Leaning back over her, Simon cupped her face tenderly, raining small kisses along her jawline and cheek.

Sereza turned toward her ghost, nuzzling against his profile. Hands trailed up his biceps until she paused once she came to his shoulders. Honey-colored eyes, dazed and curious, opened when she felt only warm skin instead of a shirt.

His expression scarcely concealing his uneasiness, Simon didn’t dare breathe while he waited for her reaction to the feeling of his mutilated skin. ‘I will still love you and be with you regardless’ she had said. Fucking hell he hoped that was true.

Half of his brain had faith in his little one and all the care she had demonstrated for him thus far, while the other half screamed at him to put his shirt back on, convinced that his girlfriend would be as repulsed by his appearance as Simon was himself.

Sereza’s fingertips brushed across muscled shoulders, up to his jaw and back down his neck, slowing at the collarbones and feeling the countless scars of war and torture, both deep and superficial. Meanwhile her ghost was motionless. A massive unblinking statue looming above her. Clearly fighting an internal war with himself. Wrapping him in her arms, Sereza began kissing everywhere she could easily reach. Along his cheek and jaw, just as he had done with her moments ago, then over his adam’s apple and down the scarred flesh to the notch at the base of his throat. Humming appreciatively.

The static filling his mind retreated at her actions. Burying his face into her curls, he exhaled a shuddering breath and wrapped an arm across her back, holding Sereza to him in a firm embrace. Silently thanking every heavenly being in existence that his beauty didn’t hate him.

Ghost’s blood quit pounding in his ears now that his clearing mind was focused on the naked woman dwarfed below him. He could feel his shaft beginning to strain against his sweats and boxers again; the short-lived anxiety having wilted his arousal somewhat. Still supporting her back, Ghost’s other hand pinned her hips to the bed as he began to grind his cock against her core.

Sereza’s fingers found his on her hip and curled around them as she moaned. Their foreheads touched, obsidian and hazel staring back at one another, heavy-lidded, breath mingling as they began to pant from the building pleasure. “Si-Simon,” came a breathy call, “does that… feel good?” she asked. Attempting to keep him present and grounded in the moment with her.

Ghost’s eyelids fluttered closed as he nodded, breathing heavily. Eyebrows knitted together and a light sweat coated his skin from the effort of holding himself back from ramming his throbbing cock into her. The feeling of Sereza naked in his arms, grinding his sensitive erection against her heat, and listening to her voice would make quick work of him before long.

But one more thing had to go first.

After a kiss full of reverent adoration, Ghost swiftly sat up and pushed the sweats and boxers down from his waist.

Sereza gasped as the bulbous tip of his cock peeked over the waistband. Eyes widening and her mouth falling open as more of Ghost’s thick shaft was revealed to her for the first time. Several dark veins standing out against his pale skin and an impressive amount of girth. The darker head pointing at her, seemingly pleading for attention.

Her small hand reached out, pausing halfway between their bodies as she looked up at her ghost towering above her. Simon gave her a subtle nod but it didn’t seem to her that he was truly consenting willingly. But rather forced, and Sereza didn’t want him to force himself. Not through this. Adjusting her approach, her hand rested on the middle of his stomach instead, just above his navel.

Abs involuntarily flexed under her touch and Simon inhaled sharply through his nose. Abyssal irises flicked between his love’s face and her hand on his stomach as he tried to determine what she was doing, not understanding until she moved downward a few centimeters while holding eye contact with him.

She was asking permission. Giving him an opportunity to say no if he wanted. To decide for himself what happened next.

Such a considerate and caring action stunned him. Another reminder of how safe he was with his little one. Nothing would happen that they didn’t both want. Ghost sidled up a bit closer and picked up her hand from his stomach, bringing it to his lips to kiss the wrist in gratitude. “I’m okay Love,” he whispered with a small tender smile, looking down at Sereza over her knuckles, “you can touch me.”

No way Simon was turning back now after coming this far. Guiding her wrist down, he brought her hand to his cock where she curled her dainty fingers around his length. Just as he had the first time, he dropped his hand and allowed her to explore him at her own pace.

A low groan vibrated out of his chest when Sereza tightened her grip and began moving her hand up and down in a firm stroke. Half-aware, Ghost’s hips pressed forward just slightly, moving in time with her. When his sac began to tighten much too soon, he quickly and clumsily shed his clothing the rest of the way.

“Actually have… two confessions,” Simon panted, “I haven’t…” Fuck’s sake, he thought to himself, how in the hell should he phrase this? “Never, uh… finished with anyone.”

He'd seen to his partner's satisfaction, but not his own. He hadn't allowed himself to. It had been something too intimate for his mind to handle. Allowing someone to get too close. So he'd always finished it himself afterward.

Sereza’s bright eyes only shined back at him with all the love they always held. Never holding any judgment. Simon breathed a bit easier now that she didn’t appear put off by his admissions. “You’re the best thing I never knew I needed, and I don’t wanna do anything to risk losing you so… think about what you want when it’s time for… that.”

“You won’t lose me. Ever. But what about you? What do you want Si?”

Ghost shook his head and groaned again at a particularly pleasant stroke. “Doesn’t matter what I want,” he replied contrarily, looking down to watch her hand stroke him.

A conditioned response, she knew, and one she wasn’t letting go this time.

“Simon,” he stilled at her tone and looked back into amber eyes. “What you want absolutely matters. Especially right now. You have a voice in this too so please tell me, amor, what do you want?”

What I want matters… the Brit silently repeated to himself.

Repairing all the damage from his past was arduous work, but Simon was learning that it was far easier when he listened to what his other half told him. He gulped, suddenly feeling oddly… shy… about what he wanted to say.

Though he’d sooner go jogging through a minefield than admit that out loud.

“I want,” Simon began, “…to finish inside,” he muttered, carefully scanning her features for signs of disgust. But it was the truth. He wanted the complete experience with her. Only with her.

“Inside?” Sereza asked.

Her ghost nodded almost imperceptibly with bated breath. Just as his nerves were about to get the better of him, to convince him he’d offended her, fucked everything up just as his father said he would, his beauty smiled and tightened her grip, thumb running over the slit on his tip and making Simon’s body jolt pleasantly. “I'd like that,” she purred seductively even as a light pink tinted her cheeks.

Simon blinked dumbly at her a second before huffing out a breath he’d been holding. Sereza smiled brightly at his obvious relief.

Sitting upright, Simon removed her hand and peered down between their bodies, taking a moment to relish finally being between her legs and admiring his view of Sereza from his height. Naked, wet, and spread open for him. Fucking hell she was lovely like this. Before his brain could interrupt their night again, Ghost lined up the tip of his cock with her entrance. “I’ll be easy. Yell at me or… something… if you need me to stop.”

His beauty nodded and opened her legs wider to accommodate his large frame. Holding himself with one hand, Ghost brushed his weeping cockhead over her, coating it in her arousal. With his other hand, he gently played with the swollen nub to coax more wetness from her body. He began sliding his heavy length along her slit to prepare them both for his intrusion.

Sereza wrapped her arms around him. Bracing herself.

Prodding gently, Ghost grit his teeth as he began to breach the small entrance. The sensation of just pushing his tip past the outer lips was wildly sinful.

Inch by agonizingly delightful inch, Simon penetrated her hot core. “Fuuucking hell you’re tight,” he gasped as he fought her inner muscles to push further inside. He knew she would be of course, but he hadn’t quite anticipated such a vice-like grip. The feeling of her warm walls slowly enveloping him had Ghost seeing stars. “Fu-fuck, god… you’re so… fucking small. Holy fuuucking hell, uughh,” his throaty baritone vibrated throughout his chest.

His cock and brain both demanded he hurry the hell up, but Simon held himself back – by the skin of his teeth – resolutely refusing to hurt Sereza before it was time. His advances halted when his tip prodded against something deeper inside her. Something in the way. A barrier… the Brit’s eyes widened, having realized he’d reached her maidenhead. “I�� I feel it… fuck,” Simon rasped.

He held still, anxious. Once he moved he would break it. The woman he loved would be his, completely and forever just as he would be hers… but Simon would have to hurt her to do it. Dark brown eyes glued themselves to amber, wordlessly pleading. He didn’t even know what for but, just – damn it, something. Some miracle that would spare them both from the pain that was coming.

Sereza’s senses snapped back to earth at the feeling of her Brit no longer moving. “Talk to me, amor,” she whispered at seeing his overcast expression, “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I-I don’t know that I can do this. When I… it’ll hurt you.”

His love smiled reassuringly while combing her nails through his blond waves. “It probably will some, but it doesn’t last very long and it’s not like what you’re thinking.”

“You’ll bleed.”

“Maybe. Or maybe not,” she said rather matter-of-factly. “Actually most women don’t. But even if I do, it’s only a little. Whatever happens Si, I promise you I’ll be okay.”

“You’re sure you want this? Me, as your first?”

Sereza pulled his head down for a deep kiss. Her fingers traced across a few scars on his face, “I will always want and choose you. Because I love you. But also, we don’t have to do this for me to still love you and stay with you.”

Tucking a curl behind her ear, he peppered small kisses across her cheeks and down her neck where he buried his face. “I love you too. So fucking much.” Holding her as close as he could manage, Ghost quickly thrust his hips forward, breaking through the barrier and bottoming out inside her.

Sereza yelped, her body stiff and trembling under him, nails digging into his back. Simon’s throat seized up at the sound of her pain. Cupping the back of her head, he screwed his eyes shut and pulled her closer to him, caging her small form within his arms as he whispered how sorry he was for hurting her. Something damp fell on his skin and Simon’s heart nearly shattered. His love was crying.

“I-I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t take this, her suffering because of him. Because of something he’d done. This was unconscionably selfish of him and now he’d hurt her, just like he always knew he would. She was hurting and crying all because of him and his fucking selfish desires.

Right when he was about to pull out and call the whole thing off his little one blew out a few deep breaths and her hands eased their death grip on his shoulders. Gentle arms now held him close just as they had countless times before tonight. Chancing a look at her, Simon lifted his head, fearful of what he might see.

Brilliant hazel irises met his midnight ones. No tears or traces of pain. “I’m okay mi amor,” she smiled, continuing with soft little assurances and his favorite head scratches when her ghost still seemed rattled.

“You cried,” he whispered hoarsely, “I made you cry...”

Sereza quickly put a stop to that, pressing her fingers against his lips while shaking her head. “It made my eyes water but no Love, I wasn’t crying.” Slender legs moved against his thighs and silken muscles fluttered along his hardness, making Ghost tense and hiss through his teeth. “I’m just fine mi amor, I promise. But could you maybe start slow? You’re kinda… big,” Sereza finished with a small laugh and raising her eyebrows.

Blood pounding in his ears, Ghost nodded at her request. Whatever she wanted. Anything in the world, just as long as he didn’t have to see or hear her in pain ever again.

Only now, with his beauty calm, could Simon relax again and focus on the feeling of being sheathed within her body. The Brit couldn’t recall ever feeling anything so exquisitely perfect. All his dreams and fantasies didn’t do the goddess beneath him any justice at all. “You’re so beautiful,” he rumbled, each and every muscle in his body taut. “All the time but… especially like this. So gorgeous. So warm…” The hot walls flexed and hugged around his cock as if unsure whether to force him out or draw him in further. A sensation that made his erection throb excruciatingly and compelled him to begin moving. “You-you’re so wet… god… you feel so fucking good.”

Simon kissed her lips with all the passion he could as he embraced her small frame tighter. “You’re mine now. All… mine,” he growled, accentuating his words with the first movement of his hips. “I love that no one else has seen you like this, that no one has… been inside you. They don’t… get to have you,” Simon wheezed while he unhurriedly pumped in and out of her. Moving slowly as she’d asked. His love’s head pressed back against the pillow with a moan as Ghost drove his cock in. Filling and stretching her, forcing her body to open up for him. Each movement both gentle and intense. Knocking stilted breaths from her lungs with every snap of his hips against hers.

“Simon…,” Sereza whimpered between small uneven gasps.

The Brit hissed through his teeth. “Say it again,” his gravelly voice demanded.

“Simon…,” she bit down on her lip, “S-Si… more… please…”

Ghost stared. Did she just… beg?

Ohhhh he liked that.

Taking her lips in an ardent kiss, he picked up his pace. Feeling only too happy to oblige. His love groaned into the kiss. When the need to breathe forced them apart her mouth drifted over to his neck, just below his ear, before working its way down to his shoulder. Ghost’s heart began to pound. He increased his pace a bit more. Jostling her small frame and making her whimper against his neck.

Bloody hell she was responsive. While they drove him magnificently irrational with lust, Ghost didn’t particularly care for others hearing Sereza’s sounds. Those belonged to him. Only him. Combined with her working on his neck like she was, and how wonderful she felt wrapped around him, was bringing his orgasm on sooner than Ghost wanted. He wouldn’t allow himself to finish until his beauty did.

Removing her from his throat, Simon placed his palm over her mouth. “This okay?” Sereza nodded frantically back at him with bleary eyes. A look that made his cock throb. “My good girl… All… mine,” he ground out, punctuating his words with a hard thrust that made Sereza groan deeply and squeeze around his shaft. A low, carnal growl from Ghost’s chest shuddered through them both. “You like that do you? Like being my good girl?” Another strong squeeze at his words stole his breath, “Holy fuck, ugh!... I love feeling you clench around me like that.”

Restraint gone, Ghost’s pace and force increased.

Sereza’s thighs began trembling against his hips, telling him she was already close. His heavy sac began to draw up tightly; he wouldn’t last any longer either. Slipping a hand between their sweaty bodies, Simon began rubbing her sensitive flesh, causing her to wildly thrash from side to side. “That’s my sweet girl. Let me feel you… come for me, Gorgeous,” Ghost commanded as he lengthened his thrusts, every roll of his hips catching her sweet spot perfectly. “Be a good girl… come for me sweetheart.”

Dazed amber eyes rolled closed as her spine bowed off the bed while she cried out beneath his hand. Molten-wet walls clamped down on his shaft, causing heat to explode within his veins. Liquid fire shot through his every nerve and down through his cock as he buried himself to the hilt. Groaning loudly through bared teeth at each pulse. Giving a few small thrusts as he came.

Behind his eyelids, Simon’s vision flashed white at the intensity of emptying himself inside the woman he loved. A feeling closer to paradise than anything he’d experienced before. The gasping lieutenant withdrew slowly and sat back on his heels as he held Sereza’s knees apart to look down between her legs at his semen seeping out of her slit.

Holy shit!

A sight that would have made him come a second time if he’d had any left in him.

His woman, lying naked in his bed and looking thoroughly pleasured because of him, had Simon feeling ridiculously proud of himself. As well as ridiculously in love. Slinking back up her tired body, Simon’s thumb brushed over her lush, parted lips before he tasted her sweet mouth once more. “God how I love you Sereza,” he sighed once pulling free from her lips.

“Mmmm… Yo también te amo, amado mio.”

Still winded from his orgasm, Simon chuckled weakly. “English, sweetheart,” he playfully groused.

Sereza mumbled random nonsense as she furrowed her eyebrows, trying to switch her brain back over. “I love you too, my love,” she murmured, finally able to string enough thoughts together to form an intelligible sentence.

“Say it again? The ‘I love you’ part?”

“Te. Amo,” she enunciated carefully.

“…Te amo,” Simon tried. Sereza tiredly nodded at his attempt. “Te amo,” he repeated confidently. If she had learned his language then it was only fair that he should learn at least some of hers. It also felt right that his first phrase was ‘I love you.’

“Sí, perfecto,” she praised with a peck on his cheek.

"Te amo Sereza, um… so much.” Sereza burst with giggles and Simon couldn’t help joining her, the melodious sound heaven to his ears and a balm to his soul.

“M-muchísimo,” she corrected, despite her giggle fit.

XXXXX

Sereza sighed softly as she woke up in her Brit’s embrace. Laying still for a moment as she relished the feeling of Ghost’s naked body spooned against her own unclothed one, arm draped over her waist and curled up by her chest. Even in his sleep, the massive arms held her both lovingly and protectively.

After some careful maneuvering, Sereza managed to turn herself around to face him. Between the weight of his arm and trying to not wake him, it was slow-going, but fortunately her ghost remained fast asleep. Idyllically handsome in the early morning sunrays coming through his window.

Tilting her gaze up, Sereza admired his peacefully sleeping face, his strong jawline, and how the morning sun hit his features just right. Simon deserved every moment of peace he could get; he’d more than earned it in her opinion. Honey irises scanned his broad chest as it steadily rose and fell with Simon’s quiet breaths, taking in every scar, every evidence of a past he’d fought to escape until she landed on the large scar at the bottom of his rib cage. The mangled gash left behind by the hook he'd been hung from, many shades darker than his alabaster skin. A reminder of unfathomable pain that stood out in stark contrast to the rest of him.

“It bother you?” a velvety baritone rumbled from above her.

The feeling of her breath hitting his exposed skin had woken him and he found her staring at the scar from where he’d been hung. Simon’s fear resurfaced tenfold as he watched and waited for her answer.

Sereza met his guarded, unblinking eyes staring back at her from where he still rested on his pillow before she turned away and pressed her lips against the middle of the scar. Trailing lingering kisses over the full length of the old wound.

Ghost couldn’t breathe or look away.

His little one showered the same attention on every scar she found as she kissed a path up to his mouth. “I love you Si. You, all that you are and just as you are.” Sereza knew it would take time for her Brit to believe those words, to let them replace the toxic words of his father and his own self-hatred, and she silently promised Ghost she’d be always there to remind him, no matter how many times he needed to hear it.

Cupping his face lovingly, they kissed with all the tender affection they could summon. She sighed against his lips once their kiss wound down, “Good morning Si.”

“Mm, yes it is,” the Brit smiled back as he caressed her bare back, loving the feeling of her naked body pressed against his own nude one. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you last night, did I?”

Sereza shook her head and smiled beatifically down at her ghost, “I’m wonderful. Just a bit sore is all.”

Being a virgin, Simon knew she would be, especially with how small she was compared to him, but it didn’t stop guilt from brewing. “What about you?” Her question drew Ghost away from encroaching dark thoughts, “How do you feel after last night?”

Simon pulled Sereza in for another long kiss. “Amazing, Love.”

XXXXX

It physically pained Ghost to watch Sereza’s divine figure disappear as she dressed, but responsibility called. The military still wanted things done, and regrettably they couldn’t spend the entire day naked in bed – no matter how much they both wished to.

For him, there were new operatives to train and his little one had patients to see. Not much either of them could do about it except sneak a quick goodbye kiss and go their separate ways down the corridor.

Ghost rolled his blackened eyes at the recruits’ ineptitude. He understood they were new and learning but good god climbing a half-wall should not be this fucking difficult.

His pocket vibrated and the Brit fished out his phone. Lucky for the recruits, the other lieutenant would have to handle them. A text from Price lit up the screen:

Need to talk to you. My office in 10. And bring your lady.

A towering skull mask opened the captain’s squeaky door and stood aside for the petite female to enter.

“Some… comments… were made to me about you two.” Price was speaking seriously and Sereza felt her chest become tight. Was the captain about to forbid Ghost from having a relationship with her?

Her own commander couldn’t care less about relationships as long as everyone still did their job and there wasn’t any drama, but had someone higher up in the SAS found out and ordered Price to intervene? Ghost was a valuable asset; did they not want him distracted or encumbered by a relationship? That would make sense…

Internally her every fiber began preparing to fight for him. No matter who or what rank she had to go up against, she would not give up Simon.

Perfectly attuned to his little one, a large comforting hand discreetly grazed across her lower back.

“You’re being moved,” Price said to his lieutenant. “Effective immediately.”

[importantgalaxyrunaway]

Comments- Colby Brock x y/n- part 7-

AUTHORS NOTE: omg guys I am so so sorry just got back into Sam and Colby and decided to finish this in my drafts I had like a paragraph written already. This is my first time back into writing fanfiction since a concussion i had so I’m trying my best sorry it’s so short this is a continuation of my series where y/n got possessed in the last part

warnings: mentions on possession, fluff, slight slight angst,

“Babe” Colby called from his computer “you should come see this”

after me getting possessed I insisted on them posting the video. We were so lucky that we caught it on camera. They were hesitant at first but I said I want people to know what happened. It’s insane that I got possessed but I want people to know what really happened. It was a really scary experience. But I’m still really worried about the video. Would they say I’m just overreacting?. That it was fake and I was just a coward? But I always get some kind of nervous when they post a video with me in it. But this video was special. I still haven’t gotten to watch it yet. I had spent most of the time recovering and spending my time with Colby.

I go over to the computer and see him sitting reading comments. I sit down on his lap, even though he’s just wearing such a simple outfit sweatshirt and comfy pants he still looks hot. I look through the comments and to my surprise they are divided into basically two parts (well maybe 3 with the amount of people commenting “I don’t claim any negative energy from this video”) the first is about how scary it was when I got possessed and how bad they feel for me. The second is how people are talking about how they think me and Colby are dating and that there is so much chemistry between us. Another thing I noticed is that the video went viral. I mean stupid viral, more than most of their videos combined. It had only been out for 5 days and it already reached 50 million views!!! Mostly I think because of my possession from outside viewers who weren’t subscribed but there were plenty of fans. Some of the comments said the following:

Cheriklover333: I feel so bad for y/n she looks so scared I cant imagine how horrible it must feel to be posses like that

kurtwagnerisacinnimonroll: did anyone notice how Colby looked at y/n 😩. I need someone like that and did yall notice her hickeys 😳

Polaris-alt-account: people who think Colby and y/n are dating 👇

that comment had over 500k likes

I groan “shit! Shit! Shit!” I rub my temples “colbs I never wanted this im sorry I dragged you into this—“

“hey hey it’s okay baby” he wraps his arms around me and presses his head on top of mine. The weight of his body on mine feels good. The closeness and warmth feels good. His hands slip into mine and grasp it lightly but firm. He is protective but caring. “You didn’t drag me into anything. I don’t care what people think I just wanna be yours”

I nod but I still have tears in my eyes not much and I feel stupid for crying but I can’t help but think I’m the one that got us into this whole mess. My gaze drifts back to the computer monitor

rosefromtitanic: you guys need to chill yes I see the way he looks at her but they should come out and say it before we jump to conclusions I think they should do a Q and A

a smile on my face appears as a light bulb practically goes off in my brain. My eyes wander to my boyfriend. And again I’m taken aback by just how breathtaking he is…I can see his muscles and I wonder what under his shirt…………snap out of it!! You need to focus.

“colbs how do you feel about about making our relationship public?”

Edit: I TRIED I REALLY DID ITS THE BEST I COULD DO FEEDBACK PLEASE!!! might write a part 8. But x men is currently my hyperfixation and am definitely going to be writing for Peter maximof and young Charles Xavier so if you’re interested send ideas. Going to write for young Coryo snow even though he’s evil he’s hot. Tried my best couldn’t leave you all hanging

[farfromstrange]

Useless | Matt Murdock x Reader

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Mental illness can be a cruel bitch sometimes. Thankfully, Matt Murdock is patient and he always takes care of you, even when you try to shut him out.

Warnings: ANGST, emotional hurt/comfort, Mental Health Episode, allusions to self-harm and suicidal thoughts, post Season 3 (spoilers ahead), not proofread

A/n: to anyone following me, you already know why this is being posted. I wrote this while I was depressed. I hope it helps some of you. I won’t say any more because there’s no words to be said about this. It’s sad but there’s comfort in the end and some wisdom I’ve gathered. You’re welcome!

I’ve put whatever I have left to post into the queue. I’m going to bed now. I wanted to post this beforehand because I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished for the first time in a while. I’ll see you soon, but probably not tomorrow… like I said, baby steps. My profile’s been busy enough for today and me too, for that matter. Take care of yourselves and please, if you ever feel down, don’t hesitate to talk to someone!

He knocks three times. He has a key, so he doesn’t have to knock, but he does, and after that he even rings the doorbell, but you can’t bring yourself up to get off the cold bathroom floor.

“Sweetheart,” his gentle voice rings out. There’s a small thud, it sounds hollow and quieter than his insistent knocks just a moment ago. His forehead collides with the wood of the front door and the room falls silent. “I can hear your heartbeat, y’know, so I know you’re not dead, but it’s still distressing to not hear from you for days,” he says. “I’m gonna open the door now.”

He finds you in the bathtub, but there is no water and you’re still wearing your pajamas from two days ago. You’re dry, so you haven’t showered with your clothes on, and overall it seems as if you’re just using the bathtub as a makeshift bed rather than an attempt to cool yourself to death.

Matt sighs deeply. “You know how worried I was?”

Your mouth is dry, your head fuzzy and you can’t possibly speak with your throat this tight.

Control is a fragile concept. You might be in control of your life for one second, and then the next everything's falling apart. Your kind descends into a downward spiral and once you’re going down, breaking out seems like an impossible task to do.

It’s times like these where life feels like it’s just happening to you and you have to sit back and endure it. You physically can’t take the reins back, no matter how hard you try. You’re paralyzed. It’s your head that’s screaming for you to act, but all you can do is sit back and watch in horror as you drive yourself off the road.

“You’ve been shutting people out again, haven’t you?” He rhetorically asks. “Because when I asked your friends, they said they haven’t seen you in days either, they’ve just read your texts, and they were short and snappy and that’s not like you, baby. Or it is, but only when it’s getting bad again. I was afraid this might have happened, I just didn’t want to accept it until I couldn’t bear it anymore. I had to check up on you. Glad I followed my gut.” He says the last part under his breath, and the relief mixes with the worry in an expression that makes you want to throw up. It’s sickening how much he cares, and the world doesn’t deserve him the same way you feel like you don’t.

The truth passes right by you. All you can think about is what you keep telling yourself. You’re useless, worthless, a nuisance and everyone hates you, so you need to erase yourself from the narrative to make the world slow down and make everyone just shut up. Even now you want Matt to shut up because his voice is like the sound of a million needles dropping on the floor of a hollow room all at once.

The worst part is, you know you should feel guilty for caving in on yourself but you can’t feel anything but this nagging feeling of anger and frustration eating away at your heart. Even his voice makes your fists clench. At least the deafening quiet has kept your nerves from fading into nothing and triggering that toe-curling feeling of overstimulating that sits right at the top of your brain and makes every last muscle twitch in a way that causes anger to seep from your pores, he can smell it.

He can hear it in your heart and your breathing too, he knows you’re not okay, and he knows his constant questioning only makes the fire that is burning you alive worse. It’s been like this before and it will continue happening, he knows. He knows that and he accepts you with all of your flaws and all the problems you might have. He loves you, why should he leave you for something that’s not even your fault? You haven’t quite grasped the concept of his devotion for you yet, but he’s determined to prove it to you.

He kneels next to the bathtub, shedding his suit jacket along the way and placed his chin on his forearms as he leans forward. His glasses land on the floor and his smile is so lopsided, it makes you frown for a second. He’s trying his hardest to make you smile with the way his sightless brown eyes try to find yours, and his teeth glisten in the bathroom light as he grins at you.

“What is it this time?” He doesn’t question your behavior, he just wants to understand. He knows you better than anyone else, after all.

You let out a prolonged breath. Even his voice has you on edge, but you suppose it could be worse. He’s not as annoying as your own voice when you answer, “Life.”

You sound so drained, his features soften even more and he reaches out to brush the greasy hair out of your face. There is wine in your breath, his nose picks up on that instantly, and you desperately need a shower, but he doesn’t tell you that because he knows you already know that. He’d never judge you for it. He’s happy as long as you’re alive, the rest can be figured out at a later time.

“Are you drunk?” he asks.

“Lightly buzzed,” you say.

The alcohol was supposed to take the edge off, but it’s only made you more nervous.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you want to take a shower?”

“No. I need the world to be fucking quiet, that’s what I need.”

You flinch at your own tone, but he doesn’t seem fazed at your snappy nature. You swear it’s not personal. You would have apologized a million times if you hadn’t been so tired, and he really doesn’t seem to mind. He simply nods, acknowledging your wish.

“Okay,” he says. “Can I take you to bed then, at least? Your back probably hurts. How long have you been here?”

Your eyes flutter closed. “This morning,” you tell him.

He sighs wearily. “Of course, you have. Can I take you to bed, sweetheart, please? I’ll make sure you’re properly compressed so you won’t get triggered by new sensations, I promise, just… let me do this for you. The bathtub is no place to cry, you’ve told me that.”

You did, once.

And you couldn’t possibly protest, even if you tried. Your back does hurt and you’re more tired than usual. You haven’t required this much sleep in a while, but your mind and body are both exhausted and you feel as if you’re going to faint if you keep staring at the white bathroom tiles. Matt’s presence has knocked some sense back into you, bringing reality to the forefront, but the alcohol and shed tears keep your mind fuzzy to the point you’re not sure if you can feel your legs.

Matt senses your hesitation. Ever the caring boyfriend, he reaches his arms out to lift you out of the tub. “C’mon,” he says.

“Why aren’t you angry?” your voice cracks as you ask the dreaded question.

He has you up in his arms in an instant. “Why aren’t you yelling at me?”

His lips press to your temple, a silent answer as he carries you into your still-dark bedroom.

“Matt,” you try again, but he stops you.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” he says, wrapping your fragile body in blankets and mountains of pillows. “It’s okay to feel like shit sometimes, and if you need to shut people out to feel better, that’s okay too, just try telling them how you feel before you disappear or they might start thinking you hurt yourself.”

“I don’t do that anymore.”

He swallows hard at the emphasis. “I know, sweetheart, but it’s hard for the people who love you to differentiate.”

You pout, “I’m sorry.”

“No,” he shakes his head, “don’t say that. It’s not your fault. Here, scoot over.”

He takes off his shoes and the rest of his clothes until he’s left in his boxers. You do as you’re told and let him into bed with you.

“You want to cuddle or is that too much?” he asks.

Considering your skin feels hot and on fire while your flesh is freezing, your heart contracting in pure agony at even the thought of being touched, you shy away and shake your head, the tears finally starting to flow. He smells the salt in the air, mixing with the salt of your sweat.

You hide your face in the pillow. The sob that passes your lips sounds broken. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you admit. “Everything just… sucks.”

“I know. I’m so sorry, I wish I could help you.” He doesn’t touch you. He respects your boundaries.

You shiver, curling further into the pillows. His warmth is there, but his hands aren’t. Still, it’s enough to make your body vibrate with the heaviest sob you’ve let out in a while. He wants nothing more than to hug you, but he doesn’t. Instead, he sits by your side and lets you cry it out in the company of someone who understands how you feel because he has them too, the bad episodes, the times he just wants to shut everyone out and sleep in his bathtub. It’s because of that he isn’t angry or upset with you for doing what your mind thought to be right at the moment. He understands better than anyone else ever could, and it somehow makes the tears flow even faster and harder to the point you can’t help it anymore. You ignore the smoldering fire in your chest and curl around his arm; it’s all you can do without breaking apart, but you need him while not needing him, and a touch you can control is better than something forced on you. His pulse drums against your fingers resting around his wrist and it manages to calm your own in the process.

“I want a different brain,” you eventually choke out. “It’s not fair God gave me the messed up one. I don’t want it. I don’t want to be me. I just want to be someone else, just for today.”

The human psyche is treacherous and easily turns your entire mindset against you.

He sighs, reaching up to pat your hair. “I’m sorry,” it’s all he knows how to say. He’s sorry that you feel this way, that you feel guilty for being you, and that there is nothing he can say or do that would make the monster shut up.

His presence has to somehow suffice, telling you you’re not alone anymore and that you’re not the failure you make yourself out to be. He helps you heal while at the same time, he makes you better. You hate him for being so kind, for making you love him so deeply you can’t possibly hate him. It’s confusing, all of this, your heart and your feelings, but most importantly your thoughts.

The tears die down eventually, your tear ducts empty and your mind and body tired from screaming at each other. Your hold has tightened around his arm, your eyes squeezed shut and the occasional sobs are all that are left from the unplanned breakdown.

Matt still has his hand in your hair, brushing through it until your heartbeat has slowed and you can breathe again.

You feel obligated to apologize. “I’m sorry,” you say. Of course, he shuts you down.

“It’s not your fault,” he reminds you. “And I’m always going to be here to tell you that. I love you, sweetheart, and you’re worthy of my love. You’re worthy of all of my love. It’s okay to be depressed, it’s okay to take what you need and it’s more than okay to take a break.”

“Then why do I feel so useless? It’s been like this for a year now and I can’t… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Everyone reaches their breaking point eventually. I did, back when I was still living in the church basement. But I crawled my way back out of hell. You know how long it took me, so why put yourself down for taking your time now?”

He makes a valid point, which is infuriating. You whimper. “I hate that I love you so much.”

He chuckles. “Right now you do, tomorrow you won’t.”

“I know.” Your voice cracks again. “God, I’m so sorry. My head’s a mess.”

He leans over to kiss your hair again. “Well, thank God I’m here now to take care of you,” he says. “Tomorrow, I’ll clean up your apartment and make sure you eat something. You don’t have to shower if you don’t feel ready, but it might help. But we’ll see that tomorrow, okay? For now, I want you to rest. I’m right here if you need me.”

The sleep catches up with you shortly after he’s done talking, his hand scratching your scalp while he whispers Sweet nothings into the night, distracting you from the hellish thoughts your mind has conjured up for you. It’s just you and him, his voice a lullaby that you’ve grown accustomed to, and with Matt by your side, you finally fight your way into a dreamless sleep.

He’s your solace, your lifeline, your lifesaver, and he’s always there, even when you don’t ask him to. He’s the comfort you need, your common sense and the sun that lights up your darkest days. Without him, you’re sure you would have been lost, swallowed by the tide of severe mental illness and the cruelty that is life itself.

You love him and he loves you, the perfect pair, both damaged but so good to each other, the bad matters a little less when you’re together.

[brisquad-unit-4402]

hello i’ve got some thoughts and updates for this blog.

i’ve been on a bit of burnout for a while, including life outside of writing. naturally the termination has sped up that burnout. i’m exhausted and struggling to be graceful about it, but that’s to be expected. i’m not one to sit on my feelings even though i’ve lacked the energy to write. which really bites because that’s my number-one passion really.

however i’ve taken some time to relax by diverting my attention away from social media and niji streams. i’ve relearned an old hobby and splurged a little too much on a new one, and i kind of can’t believe how much i missed drawing on real paper with a real pen and pencil. and thank god the love and deepspace sponsorship wrapped up before the termination, because that game has me in not just a chokehold but like one of those umbilical cords from astral projection. the silver cord? that

i’ve been watching other vtubers lately as well. i’ve always considered adding holostars en to my list but hesitated because everything else on my blog was niji-related.

consider this confirmation that i will be adding holostars’ tempus hq, vanguard and armis, and first stage productions’ avallum to my list of characters i will write for. i admit i’m not as familiar with armis, but i’ll be paying closer attention in the near future as i branch out from strictly watching niji only.

(might also be adding idol corp’s e-sekai? maybe? i watch them once every few months and i haven’t seen pochi or yuko stream since they debuted 💀 no clue on their gen 2 either)

i’ll be overhauling my masterpost for organization soon. so apologies for the horrors about to come… to be clear i will not delete any of my writing so don’t worry!

i’m unsure how much niji i’ll write in the future. give me some time to think as the situation hopefully cools down. i appreciate your patience.

and who knows maybe i’ll write for non-vtuber fandoms too

i think it’s about time i clean my inbox out soon too. i‘ll answer what asks i can and delete the remaining ones. i’ve had a few requests sitting in my inbox for nearly a year now and i’ve recently realized how stressed i was over them and learned about some boundaries i didn’t know i had beforehand, among other things, so so it’s about time i face them head-on. i apologize if i never got to your request! please don’t take it personally if i don’t answer your request. but above all else thank you for being patient, understanding, and kind enough to send in a request. even though i tend to bite off more than i can chew i always get so happy whenever i see a notif in my inbox and i appreciate your time for a little unit 4402.

even though i’m not watching niji streams atm i’m hesitant to stop writing for them because, like, i keep thinking of this clip of doppio saying he feels like he’s allowed to buy healthy/organic food because of fan support and donations, and among other reasons... it’s very easy to make conclusions on people you only know through a screen and i just can’t bring myself to cut them out so abruptly, even if i’m a fan creator on a site none of them use.

idk when i’ll post next and it feels nice to say that. i usually try to post once every 2 weeks, but considering how i’m trying not to think about niji right now and am instead embracing other parts of my life, i dunno. it’s nice. this blog is a major source of joy for me and it feels like i’m preserving what makes it so special for me instead of turning it into a chore. hopefully with time and rest i’ll have a clearer idea of where to go from here.

that’s pretty much everything on my mind, i think? thank you for bearing with me and my yapping. i hope to return soon and that the next time you see me, my blog will be cleaner, more expansive, and with a fresh mindset. take care of yourselves and don’t get immersed in toxicity. don’t forget to do what you love 💛

[allthatmay]

"ask, prompt, or infodump?" so do you accept prompts? any prompts? if so, could you do a shanks+ace modern meet cute?

Oh, good question! I should probably write a post or something about it, but yes, I will happily accept prompts. I'd prefer they be within one of my favoured fandoms [OP, FF7, Naruto], but I'll give anything a go once, so you can always ask!

Having said that... Give me all the prompts!  ৻(•̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

Sorry this took me so long to get done, but here's your Shanks/Ace meet cute! Thanks @chromotps for the setting; it was just so cute, I couldn't help myself.

It's not that Ace avoids becoming attached to the children he looks after, it's simply that he knows he shouldn't; that they'll grow up and move on while he's left holding them in his heart. There's been a few kids Ace has gotten just a little bit too fond of, and every time, he swears it's the last. Luffy might simply be the latest in the chain, but he's also, by far, the one Ace has cared for the most.

"C'mon, buddy. We've gotta find your shoes, or your dad won't be able to pick you up, will he?"

Trying to convince Luffy to do anything is a dangerous affair, unless one has food at the ready. The kid's prone to biting. Some people find it concerning, but it only endears him to Ace, who was an assertive child himself—to put it mildly.

"Dunno where they are," Luffy says petulantly. "Guess I'll stay with you, Ace!"

Ace shakes his head, biting back a smile. He crouches low in front of Luffy, holding out a hand that Luffy takes. "I've gotta go home, squirt."

"So I'll go with you!"

"But what about your dad? I bet he wants to see you!"

Luffy hesitates, worrying at his bottom lip. Finally, he looks up, excitement shining through his big, brown eyes, and says, "Then you should come home with us!"

A funny noise slips from Ace, which doesn't go unnoticed by Makino, who's been not-so-subtly eavesdropping from the doorway. She starts snickering into one of her hands but quickly straightens up when Ace cuts her a glance, returning her attention to the reuniting families outside.

"Aw, well, you know I love spending time with you, buddy..."

Luffy nods emphatically. His grin is missing a tooth. "Ace is great!"

"So are you, Luffy! But I can't come home with you. It wouldn't be right."

"Oh." Luffy's lip curls out into a big, wet pout. "Why not?"

"Well... Because I don't know your dad, buddy. And I bet he wants you all to himself!"

Luffy bursts into giggles when Ace tickles at his sides, all signs of sadness vanishing from his cherubic face.

"Okay," he says, although there's a determined line to his brow that raises Ace's suspicions. "Wait here!"

"Hold on, Luffy, your shoes—!"

Luffy, sans shoes, barrels past Makino and out into the playground where the parents are congregating, waiting to sign their children out. Instead of chasing after him, Ace starts the cleaning up, throwing pillows back in their places, returning pencils to their box. He's digging through the ball-pit—a likely hiding spot for Luffy’s shoes—when Luffy returns, announcing his arrival with, "Dad! Dad! This is Ace!"

Aw, shit. Ace has never been great at the 'meeting the parents' part; it's why he handles cleaning up while Makino manages parental pick-up. Still, for Luffy’s sake, he turns around with his most dazzling smile at the ready, throwing a stray ball over his shoulder.

"That's me!” he says, extending a hand in welcome. "I’m Portgas D. Ace. Nice to meet ya."

It turns out that Ace’s best smile pales in comparison to the one in front of him. Luffy's father has a certain crookedness to his lips that tells of mischief, with a small scar on his bottom lip that begs for attention—the pretty bait to a lethal trap, perhaps. Tanned skin is haloed by a head of fierce red hair, and yet it's his eyes that hook Ace in. They're as full of life as the warm, spring earth. Hard to look away from.

"The pleasure's mine," he says. He takes Ace's hand with easy movements. The smile lines around his eyes deepen, as does the fuzzy feeling in Ace's stomach. "I'm Shanks. Luffy's father."

"No kidding." Ace grins back. Before their hands release, Shanks' thumb slips across his, leaving a lasting sensation. Ace, to cover his abashment, crouches in front of Luffy. "So, Luffy, you gonna tell me where you hid your shoes, buddy?"

Luffy grabs his dad's trouser leg, playing innocent. "I dunno. Are you gonna come home with us?"

"Hmm..." Ace pretends to think about it, ignoring how hot his face suddenly feels. "Sorry, buddy, I can't. But I'll see you tomorrow, you know!"

"But you said that you'd come with me if you met my dad!"

"That's not—" Ace glances up at Shanks, who hasn't stopped grinning. "That's not quite what I said, buddy."

Luffy immediately looks to Shanks. "Dad! Tell Ace to come over!"

"We're not going anywhere without your shoes," Shanks says. He hoists Luffy up into his arms, who laughs. "Hot or cold, kiddo?"

"Cold!"

"Hm..." Shanks walks Luffy closer to the bean bags. "Hot or cold?"

"Hotter..."

Ace watches the two of them go over this a few times until, eventually, Shanks finds the shoes tucked inside the toy box. He gives them to Luffy then swings him up onto the table, kneeling in front of him.

"Alright, kiddo, left foot first. No kicking this time."

Ace can't help but laugh. Shanks glances at him, smiling, as he slides Luffy's foot into his trainer.

"There we go. Pull it tight. Great! Next one, Anchor."

"Anchor?" Ace asks.

Shanks gets Luffy's other shoe on, then helps him jump down from the table. "Oh yeah. Luffy's struggling to swim. Aren't ya, kiddo?"

"Not for long! I'm gonna beat the water!"

"Beat the water?" Ace repeats, starting to feel like a parrot. He can't help but laugh, warmed by Luffy's determination. "Well, I'll be sure to warn the oceans, buddy. Want to say bye to Makino?"

"Yeah!" Luffy looks at Ace, then his dad. "Stay here! Right here!"

"Cross my heart," Shanks teases.

They both watch Luffy run over to Makino, who looks down at him with a warm smile. She won't admit it, but she also has a soft spot for Luffy. Why else would she ensure he gets a space in her daycare every summer? But next year he'll be big enough to go somewhere else entirely...

"Makino used to be his favourite, you know."

Ace blinks, surprised to find Shanks is looking at him, not his son. The attention makes his toes wriggle in his boots.

"Used to be? Naw, Luffy loves Makino!"

"Oh? But I haven't heard about Makino in weeks. It's all about Ace and his super cool dragon drawings."

"Well, I do draw some pretty cool dragons."

"Among your many other talents, I’m sure.” Shanks winks. “He’s pinned them up around his bedroom, you know. You've got him wrapped around your finger."

"Really? Feels like the other way around."

"He does have a way with people. Something I hope he gets from me."

“He's got to get it from somewhere."

"Suppose I could test it." Shanks' grin is positively wolfish. "See if I can’t get you wrapped around my finger, as well."

Ace swallows, feeling hot under Shanks' unrelenting gaze. He looks from Shanks' twinkling eyes to his smooth, rose lips—and that damn scar of his, only visible in the sunlight—then back again. It's been a while since he's been hit on so obviously, and by someone so handsome. He flounders for a response, all too aware of his pinkening ears.

"I dunno. You're not as cute as Luffy."

"Cute's not really my style."

"I'll say," Ace mutters.

Shanks, his smile growing, steps in closer. “You, though? Very cute. Cute enough to eat.”

“‘Cute?’ I take Krav Maga.”

“Oh, so you’re cute and dangerous. And in such a pretty package.”

Ace laughs. “Wow, you’re an incorrigible flirt, aren’t you?”

“Truth be told, it’s been months since I’ve had a date.”

“What?” Ace regards Shanks from head to toe, from his silly sandals and floral pants to the loose fit of his shirt. “Months? But you’re—I mean—”

“Not cute?”

They stare at each other, equally silenced. Shanks’ smile slowly returns.

“Let me take you to dinner this weekend. Or to your Krav Maga class. Pottery, even. Whatever you like, I don’t care.”

“Really winning me over,” Ace snarks, like it isn’t the truth. “I’m covering a shift at my old job this weekend. Lifeguarding. We could do something after.”

“Oh? And Luffy just so happens to be struggling to swim.” Shanks digs into his pocket, retrieving his phone. “How about we hang around for an hour after you’re done? Give him some lessons. Grab some food.”

Ace is surprisingly touched by the offer. He tilts forward on his toes, glancing over at Luffy, who’s started saying goodbye to his friends as well. “You’d… really want that? What would Luffy think?”

“Something along the lines of, ‘Wow! Ace is here! Maybe he can draw me another dragon!’”

Ace rolls his eyes, grinning. “Alright, if you say so. Give me your phone.”

Shanks almost throws it at Ace in his haste to pass it over, and Ace has to bite down on his lip to stop his laughter from resurfacing. He’s just finished punching in his number when Luffy comes bounding back toward them, beaming.

“Dad! Let’s go! I’m hungry!”

“Alright, kiddo,” Shanks says. He takes his phone back with a wink, tucking it into his pocket. “But don’t you wanna say bye to Ace first?”

Luffy’s eyes widen. He rushes forward, wrapping his arms around Ace’s hips. “Bye, Ace! I’ll miss you!”

Ace puts his hand atop Luffy’s head. “Bye, squirt. I’ll see you soon. Stay out of trouble.”

“Nu–uh!”

Shanks takes Luffy’s hand when it’s extended toward him, then looks back at Ace. His smile pulls at the scar on his lip. “Bye, Ace,” he mirrors. “I’ll miss you!”

Heart stuttering, Ace scoffs, though the effect is weakened by the reddening of his face. “You’ll see me soon, too.”

“I’ll call you sooner,” Shanks returns. “Come on, Luffy. Spaghetti for dinner.”

“Yes!” Luffy runs toward the door, almost toppling poor Makino over. “Come on, Dad! Spaghetti!”

Shanks, grinning, shrugs at Ace. “Spaghetti,” he echoes, then follows in Luffy’s footsteps, disappearing from sight.

As soon as he’s gone, Ace sits on the side of the ballpit, knees weak. He feels like he's just gotten off a rollercoaster, and he must look it, if the way Makino is giggling is any indication.

"So,” she starts, a hand to her mouth. “Got any nice weekend plans?”

“Not another word, Makino. Not another word.”

[grahamfolgersdeliciousnotebooks]

There were a lot of instances, really, that could be considered their "first kiss." A look at some moments that might, depending on your perspective, count as Jon and Martin's first kiss. For the Jonmartin week day 1 prompt "First Kiss" - Updates one chapter a day, every day of Jonmartin Week.

For day 6 of @jonmartinweek, I am once again posting a chapter of my "First Kiss" fic. Just a short one today - enjoy some comatose-Jon angst! (also I realized I said this on AO3 and not on tumblr - the chapter count has increased from 7 to 9)

Jon didn’t see Martin enter the room. His eyes were closed, and his mind was elsewhere, watching nightmare after nightmare on an endless carousel. He didn’t see Martin stop in the doorway, as he always did, like he was shocked to see Jon still lying there, and he didn’t see Martin sigh and take his seat at his bedside.

“Hey, Jon,” he said softly, his voice a weak imitation of his usual bright lilt. “How are you?” He waited for a response, but none came. “Yeah. Yeah, me too.” His chair creaked underneath him as he struggled to get comfortable. “I’m worried about Melanie. She’s been… well she’s been getting worse. I get why she’s angry, I really do, but she– she scares me sometimes. I thought Elias finally getting sentenced might help, but it’s only gotten worse. She’s furious at me because he’s in prison and not dead, and she furious at Basira for– I don’t even know what! I think she just likes being angry.”

He coughed quietly. “Still, she’s been mentioning that friend more often – Georgie – and that’s got to be a good sign, right? That she has a life outside this place?

“I did tell you about Georgie, didn’t I? Melanie’s brought her up a few times, she seems to really like her. Wouldn’t it be funny if it was the same Georgie you used to live with? Probably not, though. Lot of people in London; I’m sure there are a lot of Georgies.”

Martin looked over at the still and silent figure on the bed, and sighed.

“I’m stalling.”

He shifted in his seat again.

“I wanted to tell you,” he said, though Jon couldn’t hear him. “That deal with Peter Lukas… I’m going to take it. Maybe he really can keep the Archives safe, maybe Melanie won’t be so angry if she doesn’t have to fight off monsters every other day. I don’t know. I hope so.”

He reached out and grabbed Jon’s hand. He never had before; he’d always kept a respectful distance from the figure on the bed.

“This isn’t goodbye,” he murmured. “I know that. Peter keeps insisting you won’t wake up, but he doesn’t know you like I do.” A few tears pricked his eyes, but he blinked them away. “You’re too stubborn. You won’t let something minor like an explosion keep you down for long.”

Martin stood up and stepped closer. He reached out to brush the scar on Jon’s forehead that had been left by the rubble – such a small scar for such a significant injury; even Daisy had left a bigger scar than that.

“I love you. I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now.”  He let his fingers drift from Jon’s forehead down to the curve of his jaw. “I might not get a chance to tell you properly–” His voice wobbled and threatened to break. He took a steadying breath. “So I’m telling you now.”

He hesitated. He hovered over Jon for a long, fraught moment before he leaned down and kissed his lips.

It was awful. Jon was cold and stiff and motionless – he didn’t sigh against Martin’s cheek, or curve up to meet his lips, or grab his shoulders for support, like he had before. He didn’t react at all, and Martin shuddered at the wrongness of it. He didn’t try to stop himself from crying this time – a pitiful, keening sob tore from his throat as he still had his lips pressed to Jon’s. When he stood up, his tears were running down Jon’s cheek.

He grabbed a tissue from the bedside table and tried to wipe them away.

“Sorry,” he choked out. Then, again, “Sorry.”

Jon said nothing in reply. His cheeks were still glistening, and Martin once again dabbed at them, movements slow and achingly gentle. He let his fingers graze against Jon’s lips before he straightened up.

“I’ll see you—” Martin managed to say. “later. I’m sure of it.”

[amazingmsme]

okay so. i was going to answer your ask with the epic headcanons but i’m a little nervous about posting them to my blog so i’m sending them to you in this ask instead so i hope that’s okay, i’m also sorry if this list is short </3

i often see people depict odysseus as being shorter than everyone else in animatics and i love it so it’s officially canon to me

i feel like the only person that would be shorter than him is telemachus (at the end of the musical), but only by a couple inches, odysseus still never lets him live it down though

odysseus is definitely the type to try and deny that he’s ticklish if you asked him, and he’ll do it with a confident smile on his face too. but when he realizes you intend on calling his bluff then that’s when he starts getting nervous

he’s clever and sneaky so he’ll probably try to save himself by outsmarting you, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t

if you plan on going after him though just be warned that he is very vengeful, there is a very high chance that he will get you back the minute he’s caught his breath

eurylochus isn’t typically one to start any of the shenanigans on the ship, he’s more content with watching and smiling fondly at it from the side a lot of the time, but if someone asks him to help wreck someone (usually polites or odysseus) or to get revenge on someone then he definitely will

but if he suspects that someone is gonna try and tickle him instead then this man will not hesitate to either throw out empty threats or just straight up run

polites likes to launch surprise tickle attacks on people a lot but he’ll shout “sneak attack!” before he does it, and whoever his target is usually lets him have his fun for just a moment before they Get him

will plead to whoever else is next to them to help him and then act all surprised and betrayed when they help his attacker instead

always lets out a loud, high pitched squeal when he’s caught off guard by an attack, everyone loves it and thinks it’s so funny

- fluffvoid

No worries! I’m just so desperate for content lol. These are great! They’re all so fitting! Realize I got a little carried away, so some of it is under the cut

But OMG LITERAL SHORT KING! He may not be the tallest, but he’s so cunning & mischievous so he absolutely makes up for it. But he always pouts & glares when they tease him about his height. But he’s so happy to finally have someone shorter than him. Like HA! See, I don’t you I wasn’t that short!

Oh he ABSOLUTELY denies it til his dying breath, dude just will not admit he’s ticklish. Even when he’s writhing on the ground cackling his ass off. Eurylochus is just like “so, are you ticklish?” & he’s like “NOHOHO, YOU WIHISH” & he shrugs & just keeps going because “you’re not ticklish, so why should I bother stopping?”

But before they call his bluff & find out how ridiculously ticklish he is, he’s so adamant & smug about it. & like, he’s their captain, what are they gonna do? Tickle him? Only Polites was stupid brave enough to try when he noticed him feeling particularly grumpy & home sick

Eurylochus was just staring at Polites with wide eyes shaking his head because he was worried their captain might snap & yell at him & having one of them upset was bad enough. But he just grinned at him even more & put a finger to his lips as he snuck up behind him as he was steering the ship. He pounced on him suddenly, lightly scribbling his fingers over his sides & yelling “coochie coochie coo!” Odysseus legit shrieks & accidentally jerked the wheel to the side, making the crew stumble & fall & they’re all grumbling to themselves as Odysseus is blushing bright red. & Polites is laughing next to him, props his elbow on top of his head, sighs wistfully & says “I thought you weren’t ticklish Captain” all smiley & shit

Odysseus is just like “Eurylochus, take the wheel” & before his expression even changes, he’s tackled him to the ground. Polites is already giggling & screaming “NO WAIT I JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU SMILE! I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY!” & Odysseus has his shit eating grin as he cocks his head & goes “oh yeah? Well then, this is about to be hilarious” & proceeds to wreck his shit

But after that everyone knows their captain is a lot more sensitive than he tried to let on

Odysseus honestly loves the chance for some playful roughhousing because it helps take his mind off other things. But yeah, he’s smart as hell & tricky & is able to pull one over on you if you’re not careful. Definitely one of the meaner tickle monsters on the ship

I’m literally dying at the idea of Polites announcing his sneak attacks, cause like, he doesn’t want it to startle them, & he finds that the very act of knowing what’s coming right before it happens makes it worse. (Totally doesn’t know from experience. Nope)

Eurylochus is the level headed moderator, he stays on the sidelines & steps in to help out whenever needs it most in the moment (usually Polites) but if the mood is right, the mischief starts to rub off on him & he can’t help but join in the fun. But more often than not he’s forced to for his own self preservation lmao

Everyone wants to wreck him because he’s always so calm & rational. They just wanna know what he looks like when he lets go a little!

Starting a tickle fight on the deck of the ship is literally the fastest way to make Eurylochus disappear. Odysseus notices because he wanted his help getting Polites before turning the tables & attacking him instead

Finally, my precious baby boy💗 literally the biggest fucking lee, way too cute for his own good. Everyone’s favorite to mess with

He’s so shy about the fact that he actually really likes the fun, playful affection & tries to act like it’s torture. Literally no one buys it

Also literally no one ever actually helps him when he’s getting wrecked. They all just add to the torture, but Polites was secretly hoping they would anyway (he could see the way they were smiling & staring, just BEGGING to join the fun & no way could he tell them no)

Ixvskegd he has such a loud, high pitched laugh it’s soooo damn cute & infectious! He shrieks & snorts a lot, & his laugh goes all over the place from shrill giggles to full belly laughs

On the opposite side of the scale from Odysseus the short king, we have Polites the beam pole. I feel like he’s so lanky & tall & lowkey kinda clumsy, he is a walking bullseye. Odysseus especially loves to ask him to grab stuff up high for him & then tickle his armpits when he reaches up. As previously stated, he falls for it every time

I swear, this musical has me in such a chokehold

[silksongeveryday]

I just want to quickly say please don't push yourself to try to fulfill every request !! we all really appreciate what you do and the fact that you're even taking requests to begin with is really cool of u !!! and if ur ever feeling overwhelmed don't hesitate to close requests, those ppl who are pressuring you to get to their request can just deal with it :T and thank you again for providing us coping fans with art to fuel us every day, ur awesome

First off, I want to thank you for being super understanding and appreciative of what I do! The fact that so many of you here have been supporting this blog so much has been a big highlight in my life recently. :)

That being said, I’d like to explain a few things now that we’re on the topic if you don’t mind!

About requests:

There are a few reasons that I usually keep my requests open that I think I would like to explain. One of these reasons is that sometimes I can’t always come up with very good ideas on my own all the time. Taking requests from everyone here in this community can help me draw ideas I would have never thought of and for that I’m grateful. Another is that I personally feel like taking requests builds a sense of community and gives me a chance to connect with all of you. I’ll be honest, I’ve been in quite a few fandoms and some of them were quite toxic. So to see that a majority of my experience here has been very nice has been refreshing in a way.

Now this doesn’t necessarily mean that I should feel obligated to do requests all the time. It’s just that I find them more fun than my ideas most of the time so that’s why there’s more of those than stuff that I’ve come up with.

The main rule that I’ve set for myself is that if I don’t like the request, I simply delete it. If someone repeatedly pushes for their request to be done I just simply ignore it or block that person if it’s too much. This is so I can keep this a comfortable experience for both myself and everyone else who follows this blog. Thankfully this doesn’t happen very often. This actually only happens with like a couple people which is why I haven’t really said anything much about it until now. It hasn’t really bothered me to be honest.

I also do close requests from time to time just to slow the flow down. This is so it doesn’t get too overwhelming since I do have a lot of requests that come in. As of posting this, there are like, 30+ requests that I haven’t done yet? But it’s not a big deal to me personally. I have a whole day to complete a 5 minute doodle so I’m sure I can take that tiny bit of time out of the day to do something so simple. That does mean waiting for your request might take longer, but I’ve already kinda talked about that haha.

Being overwhelmed:

Speaking of being overwhelmed,

Also I should clarify that I’m not really that overwhelmed by requests as you might think. I’ve had my fair share of overwhelming moments with similar scenarios like this and this is nothing compared to those. I knew what I was potentially getting into when starting this account so I knew what to prepare for ahead of time if it ever got to this point. I guess bad past experiences really can benefit you sometimes.

Now that doesn’t mean that I’m not overwhelmed at times! There will be a few moments that running this blog feels a little bit overwhelming but those moments are very brief. And in most cases those moments are usually worrying if people will like my doodle for that day or not. Or if I forgot to post that day lol. But generally speaking it’s nothing too worrying. I consider myself fairly good at keeping a level-headed attitude about this.

I’ve also had a few people both here on tumblr and other platforms say that they think I’m gonna burn out from doing this. Whether they mean this because Silksong hasn’t had any news for so long or because they’ve had no experience with a daily account, I’d like to assure you that burnout has a very low chance of happening for me. I’m intentionally putting semi-low effort into my doodles to avoid putting too much energy to this. Otherwise I’m absolutely sure I would have burned out weeks ago. If anything, I’m fully prepared to be posting to this blog for as long as a year assuming nothing happens along the way to prevent that. (*cough* like Silksong *cough* *cough*) If everything stays as is, then I’ll be here for a while.

-

Overall I’d just like to say that I’m under no pressure at all and all of this is just in good fun.

I think I mostly said everything I wanted to, but I hope I made myself clear about all this. If I missed anything I’ll probably talk about it on my main blog, @miizori.

And anon, you are a great person for being so considerate about this! You guys are just as awesome! My biggest takeaway from doing this is that I’ve had a good experience overall and it’s been really fun to interact with the community. I’ve also been enjoying watching my gradual improvement drawing my favorite characters too. If anything, it’s refreshing.

Most all of thanks for reading this! I look forward to posting more doodles to help everyone (myself included) with coping lol

- miizo :)

[yhrkcnrk]

Tainted Hearts

Chapter 19: Echoes of the Festival

The vibrant energy of the cultural festival lingered in the air even after the official festivities had wrapped up. Decorations still fluttered in the soft evening breeze, and students, exhausted but satisfied, buzzed with post-event chatter. Riko sat quietly by the school fountain, watching as the last few classmates finished tidying up their booth.

She’d spent most of the festival hiding her awkwardness beneath a smile, balancing her enjoyment with moments of discomfort. The maid café had been a success despite her earlier reluctance, and Yoshiko’s presence had helped ease some of her worries, even if only briefly.

As she watched the final traces of the festival disappear, she felt a small twinge of regret. Yoshiko had walked off to speak with some of the teachers after they had their fun together, and now Riko felt that familiar sense of loneliness creeping back in.

Just as she was lost in thought, a familiar voice broke through the stillness.

“Hey, Sakurauchi.”

Riko turned to see Yoshiko approaching her, still wearing her usual confident yet laid-back expression. There was something different in her eyes though—an unreadable look that Riko couldn’t quite place.

“I thought you had to go help with something?” Riko asked, trying to sound casual.

“I finished faster than expected.” Yoshiko’s eyes gleamed with a playful hint. “So, what are you doing sitting here all alone?”

Riko shrugged, her fingers tracing the edge of the stone fountain. “Just… reflecting, I guess. It’s been a long day.”

Yoshiko leaned against the fountain beside her, close enough that their shoulders brushed slightly. The contact sent a subtle warmth through Riko’s body, a sensation she had started to grow more familiar with lately.

“Well, you were a big hit today in the maid outfit,” Yoshiko teased with a slight smirk. “I think the café was even more popular because of you.”

Riko’s face turned pink, and she glanced away, embarrassed. “Please don’t remind me…”

“Oh, I will remind you,” Yoshiko replied, her tone light but her gaze steady. “You should’ve seen the way people looked at you. Not to mention how you looked at me.”

Riko’s heart raced, and she quickly defended herself. “I-I wasn’t staring! You just… surprised me. That’s all.”

Yoshiko chuckled softly, her laughter making Riko’s blush deepen. The conversation might have been playful on the surface, but there was an underlying tension between them, as if something unspoken hung in the air.

Just then, Mari, Kanan, and Dia appeared, waving from the distance. The trio was still as energetic as ever despite the long day, and Mari’s enthusiastic voice carried across the courtyard.

“Riko! Tsushima-sensei!” Mari called out. “Are you two lovebirds having a secret rendezvous?”

Riko practically jumped out of her seat, flustered beyond belief. “W-We’re not—!”

Yoshiko raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, allowing the teasing comment to hang in the air. The amused expression on her face only made Riko more flustered.

Kanan chuckled as they approached, while Dia nudged Mari. “Stop teasing them. You’ll make poor Riko faint at this rate.”

Mari, undeterred, grinned widely. “What? I’m just calling it how I see it. Anyway, we’re thinking of going for a drink at a nearby café to celebrate the festival’s success. You two should join us!”

Riko opened her mouth to politely decline, but Yoshiko surprised her by nodding in agreement. “Sure, why not?”

Riko blinked, turning to Yoshiko in mild surprise. “You’re… okay with that?”

Yoshiko shrugged casually. “It’s just a drink. Besides, it could be fun.”

Despite her initial hesitation, Riko found herself agreeing as well. The group walked together, laughter and banter filling the air as they headed towards a nearby café.

As the night wore on, they reminisced about the day’s events, shared stories, and bonded over the shared experience of the festival. Yoshiko, though typically reserved, opened up a bit more in the comfortable company of her friends. It was the kind of night where everything seemed to fall into place—just a group of people enjoying each other’s presence after a long day.

But even amidst the laughter, Riko couldn’t shake the feeling that something between her and Yoshiko had shifted. Whether it was the lingering tension from the festival or the quiet moments they shared, Riko knew that things were changing.

And deep down, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for it.

[idonotbitemythumbatyou]

Working title is "Baseball on Bajor" and it's a 10-ish year post canon about the survivors of DS9 dealing with becoming religious figures in the new mythology of Bajor.

The warrior of Qo’nos; Exalted to the highest family in his empire, he handpicked the ruler of his people. And thus an empire became a friend to Bajor

The tinkered healer; The prophets whispered that he would need to be more for his task and so at Adigeon he was transformed. His enjoinment to Cardassia made a friend of a foe.

And here are all the times "friend" shows up in chapter 3 of The Seven Year Prologue

Julian always felt like he had done something wrong when Kira wanted to talk to him. They were not as close as he would have liked, and every overture of friendship he’d made so far had been interpreted in the least charitable light possible.

“Garak and I are not really friends. And...” he snorted, “you don’t have to worry about me trusting him.  So while I appreciate your concern, there’s really no need.”

“Everyone knows we’re friends. I don't see the point of keeping this part of it secret.”

But then, that was just the sort of man Miles was. He might struggle with the words, but the love for his friend was never in doubt. At least he was willing to be seen in public with him. Then again, a dark part of Julian wondered why all the people who loved him were so embarrassed to admit it. Maybe it had to do with how apparently "hateable" he was.

and the following self indulgent scene with Dr. Lense is a long bit but it has "friend" in it four times.

“It’s a shame we didn’t meet then. We could have helped each other.”

“So you’re not the cutthroat monster your reputation suggested?”

“No!” Dr. Lense - Elizabeth - laughed. It was an undeniably lovely sight: warm and safe. He wanted to nestle into that laugh and experience it as she did. Or, barring that, close the distance between them to feel that warm safety by proxy. “But I really could have used a friend like you in the academy.” she said.

Until she said it, he hadn’t thought about how much he’d isolated himself in his pursuit of almost-perfection. “I know what you mean,” he said. Their eyes met and for a terrifying moment Julian thought they might kiss.

But she stood up and took another sip of her drink, breaking… whatever that was. “I’m getting engaged, by the way.” she said, pouring herself some water, “I’m going to propose on our next shore leave.”

“Oh! Congratulations!” Julian exclaimed, trying to swirl the energy in the room back to friendly - rather than flirtatious - repartee 

“He’s brilliant. He has the driest humour…" she smiled to herself, no doubt thinking of her soon to be fiancee. "I think you’d like him, actually. He’s Andorian.”

“Is he really?”

“Yes!”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe that you know what an Andorian looks like…”

“He is!” Again, that careless laugh. “Do you…" she tapped the rim of her glass with her fingernail and avoided his eye, "do you have someone?”

“No.” He spoke without hesitation. Because he didn’t, really. 

What else could he say? ‘Yes actually I’ve been sleeping with an older man - a disgraced exiled Cardassian - for almost two years. He lies to me constantly. We have nothing in common but that we like each other and I’m not always entirely convinced of that. He doesn’t seem to care if I live or die. And I think I might have feelings for him. Everything about the relationship is humiliating. And most humiliating of all: I think he has feelings for me but he’s so disgusted by it that he’d rather be alone than acknowledge the connection. He barely wants to acknowledge that we’re–’

“Friends.” Julian said, tipping his glass towards her, “I have no shortage of friends”

This week’s word is…

✨ FRIEND ✨

Find the word in any WIP and share the sentence containing it. Reply, reblog, stick it in the tags, tag us in a new post, or keep it private. All fandoms, all ships, all writers welcome.

[leashade]

I feel like I’m in a weird spot.

On one hand, nobody wants to be a pariah. I want people to love me, to respect me, just like anybody else. Or at least acknowledge me. And because of this I’m worried about what people will think about me.

I was worried about it a lot, I was always worried that I’m a bad person, but I don’t know it. But I always tried to be genuine. Say what I think, without lying, without hesitation.

And since the war started, I was thinking a lot about how people see me. Nothing I said or did was driven by these thoughts, but I couldn’t stop wondering.

In my info bubble there are mostly Europeans and Americans, who know me and who know the difference. I know Ukrainians who respect me and didn’t cut any ties (even the ones who constantly write about all Russians being subhumans and should be annihilated).

But I also know a lot of Ukrainians (and not only) who hate any Russian citizen. They would probably hate me. On the other side, there probably exist people who only respect me because of my Ukrainian roots. And there might exist people who would hate me for that or for my position.

There are some who “don’t want any politics in their dota”, too. The thing is I don’t want any of this to define who I am. It doesn’t fucking matter where I was born, where I lived, who my parents were. What matters is how I see the world and what my deeds are.

On the other hand… I had a big surge of people in my Russian social media accounts since I started working with PuckChamp and HR. But my biggest audience is still from anywhere outside of Russia and Ukraine. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter to me what people THERE think about me. We don’t really cross our paths that often. I had a rather active blog about Dota in Russian (I was posting news about every single patch, thoughts about dota, links to various content from other people and so on), and since the war started I had no new posts there at all (on both Telegram and VK). My last post was about how bad the war is, and I had nobody say anything against it to me. Not a single message. In fact, since then I had a +25% increase in followers on VK page.

And how “foreigners” see me is very different. And it just so happens that people whos opinions matter to me are also “foreigners”.

Downside of this is quite obvious: I can’t really use my voice to spread the word. My voice is not that loud to begin with, I don’t think anybody really cares about whatever I have to say. But also most foreigners don’t really care about what’s happening here, while people “inside” are in the state of informational war.

But honestly, while I’m not writing at all about anything for a couple of months now, it’s been a nice change of pace. I’m trying to limit my social media usage to minimum, since there are some people who tend to leak toxicity to my feed, which I try to keep purely informational. And I’m just tired of all this, I need a break. Well, needed. Doing dota work is the best break.

[queenofrest]

Hey Audrey! I know we haven't interacted before, and I'm sorry to reach out to you out of the blue. I'm contacting you because my aunt lost her husband and is now faced with caring for her son, who has intellectual disabilities, alone, as well as trying to bring my uncle, who suffered a stroke in England, back home to Ireland so she can care for him as well. His condition is deteriorating, and we're trying to get him home before he becomes too ill to travel.

I understand that the vast majority of people on this site are in a similar situation to me and don't have the funds to donate, so I’m not asking for any. I'm just wondering if there was any chance you would consider reblogging the fundraiser on my page to try and reach some people who may be in a position to help?

I know that with the increase in spam bots this year, people might not be comfortable reblogging from a page that randomly contacted them, especially one that is newer (my own page was accidentally deleted by Tumblr during the great purge of all those spam bots), and I normally would never dream of reaching out to anyone I don't know and annoy them, but Tumblr is the only site I really use to bring awareness to their story.

I don't want you to feel pressured into anything you're uncomfortable sharing, so if you're not okay with it, that's totally okay! You can just ignore this. And if you can help by sharing, I would be eternally grateful.

Thank you for reading and considering.

If there is anything you want clarification on, please let me know!

Cece

Hi Cece. I’m so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you and your family in this time of grief. Please, don’t worry about reaching out, you are always welcome to if you ever need anything. I was logged out of my account for a few days so I didn’t see your message until now, but I will reblog your page. Yes, I know all about the robots on here, I get them all the time and naturally block them. It’s no trouble, though, I will share the post on my page. I hope everything gets better soon, and please don’t hesitate to reach out if there’s anything you need.

With love,

Audrey B.