#which may suck if you hate the egg but i like him

[assblastergaster]

it’s actually crazy now that i’m thinking about it. with absolutely no side quests the story of veilguard is like 20 hrs long at most. that is SO SHORT. insane insane insane. we should all be on our knees thankful that they got any amount of good character writing in there at all. we really got dragon age 2 2

[ivys-garden]

Life Series Recap: session 6.

Hey mcytblr. How are you keeping?

Well I've had Insomnia and accidentally ate half a loath of stale bread so let's distract ourselves from it all with some nice life series stuff, eh?

Todays wild card was… OK so like, this is probably the weirdest one (and also probably my least favourite but that's a me issue)

So like… every animal dies. Then new ones spawn. Then they become something random… wat

Now despite what the random signs that keep suspiciously appearing around grian say, thus isn't actually TOO dangerous. But hey that just leaves more room for these Theatre kids to drama it up in this messy soap opera of a series

So, without further dillydallying, let's look at these fools

The Final Gals (Scott, Cleo, Pearl, Impulse, Bigb, Etho)

Billy is dead. So is Grian, probably. they've got like 20 reasons to kill that lil scamp now.

Today is a full on trap day it seems! Scott is once again enabling so everyone gets their murder hats on. Impulse traps the base with pitfalls, obviously taking inspiration from Mumbo.

Bigb also gets his traps on, killing skizz in revenge and killing lizzie for no reason. Ps are we ignoring that Jimmy almost called him a son of a bitch orrrrrrrr

Oh yes, Bigb and Etho are now officially full members, and now the Bigb is a hostile mob, we can trust him again!

I mean, not too weird, they've got a Cleo. A very big brained and Dastardly Cleo. They plan to trap the wheat field with bombs. Heck they convinced Tango and martyn it already was! They also managed to acquire a cheeky Villager, so bows of death may be making a comeback.

Speaking of bigb actually, he's like even more trust worthy. It's almost scary. He refuses to betray Pearl and instantly tattles on Scar AND when lizzie coms a knocking over I.pukse trying to kill her and Impulse blames him, he fully accepts guilt no questions asked! What was in his water today, are we sure this is the same guy?

Scott does some miscellaneous chores. He fully turned the tower into a cake, which yada yada two nickels. He also goes never raiding with Cleo and makes his once per session trip to go complement Jimmy in a totally jot fruity way, Promise. Ignore how it's only his parrot Scott tried to save from that Blaze that means nothing.

Now, Pearl. She is given the task by gem

To kill gem. So she and her new murder bestie Impulse get on they're cammel and get down to mischief. Starting with creepers!

They failed miserably with creepers. Gem is a very fast rat

They go for a raid!

The wild card kills it. Dam.

They go for a spawn egg trap + a cammel nap!

The session ends before they can pull it off God dam it.

Pearl also thinks complimenting gem will get her to like her again so take that as you will. I say, knowing full well how you fuckers will take it. I see you, and so does G O D.

Oh, Pearl also acquires a very special tool that I'll mention in Etho's bit, but needless to say he gives it to Impulse and provided he does bimbo his key binds… again, he could come back from the dead…

The Family (Gem, Joel, Etho)

Joel found a bloody trial chamber. what the devils. He looted that bitch so good.

Anyway

All the cows are dead.

Also, a new watchtower? Pog? No. Its hideous. Much like gems barn, which has become a real ship of Theseus.

Speaking of Gem, she invents new and exciting ways to hate Pearl! This week: forgetting that gem ripped her eye out!

Yeah no fair how did she forget that.

Anyway, as gem is fully insane she decides the only way Pearl can make it up to her is to (checks notes) Murder her. Yep. Now, if my friend murdered me I'd probably take that negatively, but not Gem. She's itching to 1v1 pearl. Shame that Pearl is actually being cautious and thinks that trapping her is more sensible (tho maybe she should 1v1 gem since Pearl sucks at making traps. Just saying)

Speaking of traps, Gem and Etho try to kill ren! For no reason! He's their friend! It doesn't work but like, what the hell guys!?

Gem also chose to give her life to skizz…. More on how that went at 11.

The Bamboozelers (Scar, Jimmy, Lizzie)

Oh the Bamboozelers. Where do we start?

The Bam Bunker of course! Scars off hand pipe dream was fully realised this session as Jimmy and Lizzie spend all session building they're super secret bunker!... Scott manages to bimbo his way in and Scar invites Etho in… and it's not hidden at all… but hey, bunker!

And just in time too, turns out living on an open grassy mountain with plants that limit mobility during a mob spawn wild card is a bad idea. Lizzie almost died to wither had Jimmy not killed her so as to not waste her life.

I mean he did waste her life by trying to kidnap an Iron Golem but, eh.

Now looking at pay offs for last sessions events, we get anticlimax! Jimmy tries to kill gem when she offers her help in murdering people and Lizzie finds out that Ender porters fail if you died after you set them up. Whoops!

Speaking of Lizzie failing, she blows up Martyn and Ethos tower! He was supposed to get Tango as requested by skizz, but he's too smart. Lucky that martyn isn't eh?

No, when Scar wasn't being ironically killed by vex in trial chambers, or trying to make Shulker boxes for Actually no reason, or ruining traps for people, he was…. Being gaslit into thinking evokers still dropped Totems by grian. He did come up with a good idea of egg farming, but unfortunately eggs were turned off it seems, guess no big brain Scar this session.

Also for some reason Scar tries to get people to kill Pearl. Pearl has done nothing to him, but I guess that fits Pearl overall, do nothing and forgive everyone and still people want to kill you.

Oh also shears is dead. :(

Renwood (Martyn, Ren)

Oh ren. He's having a time. He's trying to be polite and friendly and make a “zoo lake” and asks why he and Martyn aren't smooching.

But at every turn this man has his life threatened by his own allies, his animals die (INCLUDING THAT BLOODY HORSE NOOOOOOO) and his homie/probably husband is killing people! What's that about?.... The shot was sick tho.

Hey, He may now have no allies or food but…. At least the lake protected them?

Idk they're probably doomed.

Martyn has some strange happenings this session. He goes skateboarding on a camel for one. He is also back to calling people humpers God damn it.

He also does make up for knocking Skizz off his stupid bad incredibly dangerous bridge by trying to lure people into the danger zone for him, but this ends about as well as every other trap done by anyone. At least he helped Grian get…revenge…

The Tuff Guys (Bdubs, Tango, Etho)

Firstly, Pancakes.

Secondly, etho doesn't know what Mt Saint Hellens is. You mean Yellowstone, Mr. Kakashi sir.

Anyway, on to things that are actually important, Bdubs finished his house!

Oh wait, I said things of importance.

Etho decides to make my life difficult by allying with 3 teams, all of which hate each other. So thanks for that, glad you died in that stupid trial chamber.

Etho ignores whatever stupid goals Leader Tango set out and instead focuses on the important thing of getting a Wolf army kitted out with armour and the less important thing of trying to get a shulker box to solve his inventory problem. That sir, is actually just a skill issue.

Now, Wardens. Where there be Wardens, there be a Tango to adopt them. Yep the Tuff Guys get a warden… for about three seconds until it gets trapped and everyone tridents it to death. This is also when “The Suprise Tool” was acquired by Pearl, a TOTEM OF UNDYING. Yeah Impulse is effectively on green now thanks to that, Thanks Gri! Impy FTW

(Ps homework for y'all is to find out who got that last hit on the Warden)

Now, I seem to remember Tango doing something to skizz… it resulted in grian taking revenge and bombing the hell out of the Tuff Towers and

Oh

Oh No, Skizzle…

The Spanner (Grian)

Let's start with grian. He is MOURNING Mumbo, even though he got bloody atomised last session he still pretends he's here. He names an Iron Golem after him, who later kills Jimmy so hooray revenge! Go Bloop!

He also goes chamber busting and continues to be besties with Scar… hey weren't they trying to kill each other not 2 sessions ago or….

He also fixes the “Spider Nest” tnt launcher so skizz doesn't blow himself up, skizz also names the tower after Mumbo in his honour.

Oh Grian also forgot to activate the wild card for like 5 minutes. Silly Goose. Hey at least it got people nice and paranoid.

Now, Skizz. He starts of great, Bombing Gem. I mean gem let him and he lost the life like 10 seconds later but he did it! He then does the stupidest thing I've seen since Skynet and builds a rickety bridge to drop TNT on tango's head. He was asking for martyn to wind charge him off.

Skizz seems to be really focused on Tango, he did ask Jimmy, Bigb & Lizzie to kill him after all.

But, well… Tango killed him. Did he thi k it would? No. But it did anyway. He tossed a wind charge up at Mumbo Tower and skizz fell. Grian didn't even have to watch to know what happened.

The Tuff Guys tried to make amends, but at that point it was too late. Also etho didn't help by talking to the wrong Grave like a Bimbo.

Grian then has a mental breakdown! And he does what people who have those in this series do and decides allying with Joel is a good idea somehow. He tries to replace the Spanners with the family. To pretend nothing happend.

It isn't working.

What will happen next? Who can say…

Me. Tango is gone next session. Mark my bloody words

More importantly tho, JIMMY HAS HIS BEST PLACEMENT (not counting real life) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! PHOENIX BLESSING IS REAL

[freya-fallen]

Little Dove 5/?

You're Pro Hero Hawks' little sister. Dabi finds out and everything devolves from there.

HawksxReaderxDabi

TW: none for this chapter, but future parts may include, but are not limited to, noncon, dubcon, drugging, forced incest, yandere hawks, yandere dabi, coercion, lying, manipulation, grooming (of an 18 year old character), obsession, gaslighting...

Part 1 Part 6

Keigo is still home when you wake up, a rare occurrence given his hours. You stare down at your phone to read through a few texts from Dabi and look up when you hear an abrupt sound. Your brother is making scrambled eggs wearing your frilly apron and a pair of boxers. You can’t help but giggle at the sight of him whistling a little flourish while he flips the spatula through the air.

“‘Morning, Dove. Sleep well?”

You blush, remembering that you fell asleep while Keigo was preening your wings. You’d woken, tangled in sheets and diagonal across the mattress. “Did I steal the covers last night?”

He grins that heartbreaking grin of his that comes so naturally when he’s around you. “Only a little. I kept plenty warm, considering you were half on top of me.

“I’m sorry.”

He bats away the apology. “If it bothered me, we’d have separate beds. You’ve always been clingy in your sleep.”

To be fair, so is he. It’s a remnant of your childhood, when you were each other’s only real family. You still are, but now you have a stable life to go along with your relationship.

There was a time Keigo left. It was sometime after your father was finally arrested, when your memories become a blur for a while. You know you were hungry and cold and sad. Your mother was annoyed at your complaints, but there was nothing she could do about them. She yelled at Keigo, called him useless, and he took off.

You think you saw him once after that, then nothing. 

For a little while, you stayed alone with your mother. She rarely helped you with clothes or food or anything, really, so you quickly became a mess of a child. By the time the HPSC dropped in to pluck you from Tomie’s grasp, you were in such deplorable state that Keigo became furious when you saw him.

It was in the penthouse, your now-home. He’d fought with the commission to get a place for you, and a separate one for your mother. When you asked why, he always shrugged and muttered something about everyone being happier this way.

Keigo had run across the bare floor and dropped to his knees to look at you. “Did mom hurt you?” His hands were warm on your shoulders, his eyes boring into your own. You shook your head. “Did she feed you?” he asked next, to which you shrugged. Keigo sighed, glanced up at an adult and said, “Go get her something to eat.”

It was the first time you ever heard Keigo give a command. 

Your brother guides you to the table, snapping you from your memories. He has a full plate and orange juice all laid out. 

“Thank you, Keigo.”

 He beams. “You’re welcome.” He has made himself a plate with more food than yours. He spends all day most days out on patrol and apparently flying takes a lot of energy, so he keeps fueled. You’ve always marveled at how much he can scarf down per meal.

Your phone buzzes and he frowns at it. “Just a friend from school,” you explain, though you have the phone upside down, so it’s not like you can see the screen. He hums in response.

“Do you have the day off?” Hope lays thick in your voice. You’d promised to see Dabi later, but he’d understand that Keigo is home.

He shakes his head. “No, I just had a little time this morning. Sorry, Dove. I know I owe you some one-on-one time, but things are hectic at work right now.”

You know what that’s code for. “The commission has you on a special mission, huh?” You hate when this happens. They suck the life out of your brother, promising him the moon for one more little favor. It never ends; you know they’ve sent him to do things he shouldn’t, things he won’t talk about to anyone, but especially you. He could never ruin your image of him; it would break him.

You tell him you’ll love him anyway, but he just shakes his and smiles sadly.

“Yeah. It’s a really important one, though. It might stop a war.”

“Does it have to do with that guy who fought All Might?” you ask. He’s behind bars, but maybe he has some sort of team who can take over his evil plans. 

Keigo bites his lip. “You know I can’t tell you anything about it.”

“Yeah, yeah, secret squirrel stuff.” You raise a hand in defeat. “I know.”

“The secretest.” He puts your plates in the dishwasher after you’ve both cleared them, then pulls you into his arms for a hug. “I told them I’m taking a break after this one. I need it. We’ve all been working our asses off since All Might retired, but the flame man and I most of all.”

His heart is a steady beat against your ear. You wrap your arms around your brother and take in how much stronger he is than you. Even without him feathers, he could throw you over his shoulder. He takes his work seriously, despite his carefree appearance. You squeeze him, aware of how strong some villains are and how small your brother is compared to some. “You promise?”

Keigo rubs your back. “I promise. They won’t get anything outta me for at least a month.”

“A month?” The idea thrills you; you’ve never gotten to spend that much time free with him.

“Yep, just you and me. We can do anything, go anywhere.”

You grin up at him. “I can’t wait.”

Lemme know if you wanna be added to the taglist

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[mediumgayitalian]

prev chapter

———

“Okay,” Will says, when they’re comfortably on the road. This early in the morning, Highway 17 is practically empty; nothing but sunny skies and clear air rushing through the open roof. The emptiness may also be attributed to the fact that it is a random Tuesday. “Pick a number between one and nine.”

“Uh, five.”

“Good choice, good choice.”

He opens the centre console, digging around Nico’s – well, and his, at this point – collection of CDs to find the right one. He makes a little noise of triumph when he finds it, blowing on the back and wiping it on his shirt before sliding it into the port.

“One half-assed polish isn’t gonna fix those scratches, Solace,” he teases.

“If you weren’t such an emo fuck, Playlist Five wouldn’t be so scratched.”

Nico laughs, conceding this round. Will looks inordinately pleased, nose scrunching along with his tiny smile even as Linkin Park starts blasting through the speakers, which he hates.

“Three songs ‘til Britney,” he grouches as Nico starts hollering along to Points of Authority. Nico shakes his head, still grinning – as if he didn’t make these playlists. If he is truly so miserable, he wouldn’t have put the song on at all.

(Nico knows, in the very back of his mind, that Will actually and truly cannot stand Linkin Park. To him, it’s not music at all. He has never been able to get into it, as much as he truly likes music of every genre. If Linkin Park is on this playlist, and they’re on more than one of the playlists Will has made specifically for their shared car rides, it’s because he cares about Nico more than he hates the band. Nico shoves this knowledge deep into the dustiest corners of his mind, because that’s more than he can afford to think about.)

The next couple hours pass by comfortably. There isn’t much to remark on the side of the road except the odd fruit stand, or farm advertising eggs and honey, so onward Nico drives. He keeps an eye on the odometer, but mostly trusts Will’s calculations. If he says they won’t need gas ‘til Anthony, wherever the hell that is, Nico believes him. 

“Highway changes to the 98 through here,” Will says, nodding to the tiny sign that boasts nothing except Ft. Meade CITY LIMITS, right next to the giant banner half the size of the church it's attached to that reads, REPENT OR BURN. 

Ah, Florida. Please one day change.

“Do I need to exit?”

“Nope, the road just changes to a different number.”

He eases off the gas as they approach the tiny town, watching carefully for state troopers. And, like, children, probably. So far he’s passed twelve gun ranges and one school, but whatever. He can have priorities, even if this garbage state doesn’t.

“Hm. 98 is a better number.”

“Absolutely not,” Will tells him, aghast. “17 is a prime number!”

“Ninety-eight is more fun to say. Also, prime numbers suck.”

“You take that back –”

Nico slides up his sunglasses, shaking his head fondly. Nerdiest nerd to ever nerd. He would be embarrassed if he wasn’t so endeared.

He presses back on the accelerator as they exit the town, turning up the music as Will’s rant ends. He shucks off his shoes – Feet off my goddamn dash, Solace – and curls up into his seat, burying himself in a book. Nico glances away from the road to try and read the title, but quickly gives up since the font is bright fucking purple, for some reason, and in some horrible looping shape that he knows will give him a migraine. All graphic designers should be in prison. 

“Hey, there’s apparently a gator reserve forty-five minutes ahead.” Nico squints again at the book. Barely, he can make out “roadside” and “weird”. “‘Weird American Roadside Attractions’,” Will reads aloud, noticing Nico looking. “Such as a very nice and highly rated gator reserve –”

“No.”

“Road trip, Nico. Adventure.”

“I’m super happy to adventure away from living fucking dinosaurs, Solace.”

“Aw, come on, they’re kinda cute –”

“Two thousand pounds per square inch of jaw strength! You are the one who told me that!”

“You don’t think you could take one in a fight?”

Nico stares at his best friend incredulously. He’s got a thoughtful little frown on his face, looking at the sky as he contemplates. Nico notices, vaguely, that the shade of his irises is the exact same colour. 

“No, I do not. Obviously.” He pauses. “You think you could take a fuckin’ gator?”

“I think it’s possible.”

“See, that’s crazy, because fifteen seconds ago I genuinely believed you were an intelligent person.”

“Do not lie to me and tell me you don’t have a list of animals you know you could take in a fight,” Will says, instead of rising to the bait. He waits, meeting Nico’s glare, eyebrows raised.

“An ostrich,” Nico admits, begrudgingly. “I feel like – one good punch to the throat –”

Will smiles smugly at him. “That’s what I thought.” He turns back to his book, fiddling with the corner of a page. “Also, ostriches are more closely related to dinosaurs than alligators. So. Check and mate, motherfucker.”

They pull into Anthony at around eleven, at pretty much exactly a quarter tank – just like Will predicted. He looks inordinately pleased about it, so Nico shoots off a quick prayer to the karma gods. 

He trips on his way out of the Jeep. Nico smirks.

“I’m gonna go stretch my legs,” he says, unaware of Nico’s hand in his humbling. Nico waves him off, attention turned to the gas pump.

Annoyingly, as he pulls out his card and handles the pump, he remembers Will’s scrunched nose and pursed lips as he’d explained, when they were 16, how gas station pumps were frequently more germy than their toilets, and cleaned approximately one hundred percent less. Suddenly, his hand begins to feel grimey.

Twelve bags of chips, a gas station slushie, and a pair of clean hands later, Will is still nowhere to be found. Nico frowns, craning his neck to look around the tiny parking lot as if he somehow missed Will’s neon orange shirt the first time he looked. Still not catching sight of him, he walks hesitantly back to the Jeep, tucking his snacks away and biting his lip, contemplating. Will is both very fast and very easily distracted, but he has enough sense not to go too far in a random town five hours from home. If he sticks by the car and waits, Will’ll be back soon. 

But, on the other hand, waiting is torture.

Easy decision, really.

He locks the door, hopes that no one will show up with a pair of wire cutters and a flathead screw driver, and sets off. The first thing he notices, and he adds it to his mental list of things to loudly complain about when Will is locked in the car with him, is that it is fucking sweltering. In the hours approaching the afternoon, the day has gone to pleasantly warm to so hot the air is actually thick with it, and he doesn’t have wind ripping through the open windows to cool him down. Plus, he’s wearing jeans, and for the first, and hopefully only, time in his life, he envies his friend’s cargo shorts. 

The second thing he notices is that Anthony, Florida, is empty as shit. All the love in his heart to the people who call it home, but also, move, maybe. He’s hesitant to stray too far from the gas station, in case Will comes back and finds him gone, but there are no hills or anything. He can see quite far down the road. The only thing he sees is a possum starting a fight with a poor random guy – which, actually, is kind of fun to watch. 

Perhaps he has judged Anthony too harshly. 

“Nico!” shouts a voice, startling him. He whips around and finds Will, standing in the goddamn centre of the road, the dumbass, waving like a lunatic.

“There is no possible way I was going to miss you,” Nico informs him when he’s close enough. “You are approximately the height of the Washington monument. I could not miss you if I tried.”

“I wasn’t waving to get your attention, I was waving to shoo away the eagles that mistook you for a mouse.”

Nico kicks him in the shin. Will, well used to his violence, dodges, grinning, except in the act of hopping away from Nico’s dangerously hardy boots, he somehow wraps his foot around his own ankle and goes sprawling.

Nico smirks. “Who’s the short one now.”

Faster than he can even follow, Will’s hand darts out, wrapping around his ankle, and tugs, yanking him yelping on the asphalt next to him. 

“Foul!”

“All’s fair in love and war, Neeks.”

Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up, Nico screams at the alarm bells blaring in his brain, he doesn’t mean it like that and you know it oh shit he’s looking this way quick look normal look normal –

“I can do war if that’s what you want, Solace,” he manages, honestly quite proud of himself for managing speech with approximately fourteen percent of his brain still functioning. Damn.

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway.” He crawls to his feet, offering Nico a hand. He takes it, dutifully fighting the urge to pull Will down again, just to be an asshole. He’s cool like that, and most definitely being normal about the scrape of Will’s callused fingers against the inside of his forearm. “I found maybe the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, and I need you to come look at it immediately.”

“Sick,” Nico says, immediately intrigued. He and Will have their differences, sure, but if there’s one thing they can agree on it’s their sense of humour. 

He follows will down the road, passing the gas station again. (His car, thankfully, remains in one piece and beautifully not-robbed.) They dark across an empty intersection, walking across a yellowed lawn as they approach a run-down, patchy, one-storey bungalow with a rusted sign that reads: The Iron Works.

“Behold,” says Will gleefully, “the Abstract Iron Centaur.”

And behold, Nico does.

Gaping, he observes the structure standing proudly under the sign. Striding proudly, rather, its front legs bent to simulate movement, its human arms poised as if ready to strike. It wears a medieval knight’s helmet, and holds a rusted axe. The entire structure is a little taller than Will, and made of, presumably, iron, rusted into a light roan red.

“Abstract Iron Centaur,” Nico repeats, after several minutes of silence.

Will still looks delighted. “It was in my book. I had no idea what to expect and also I didn’t believe it was real. Isn’t it the greatest thing you’ve ever seen?”

“It’s…something.”

“We gotta take a picture, Neeks. I never want to forget this thing.”

Nico allows himself to be pulled, still somewhat bewildered. It’s not even the oddest thing he’s ever seen, it’s just – he has many questions, like, for example, why? How long has this creature existed? How long will it persist? Who created it? Why is it in Will’s dorky book? Does it house a soul?

“Okay, squish in, this camera is older than your elderly ass and doesn’t have a timer.”

The familiar jab breaks him out of his stupor. “Seven months older than you, fucker.”

“Geriatric.”

Without warning, Will crowds them under the Abstract Iron Centaur’s lifted arm, and then presses his widely grinning cheek right flush to Nico’s, raising his beat-up camera to the air.

Nico’s brain goes static.

“Say cheese!”

“Hnngh,” says Nico, as the camera blinds him.

Luckily for his continuously worsening blood pressure, Will pulls away the second he hears the click, shaking the ejected negative to help it develop, and Nico has a second to remind his lungs that they have a function, actually, get your shit together, I am not dying in fucking Anthony, Florida. 

“You look like a dork!” Will says, delighted. “Look!”

Blinking at the photo shoved one sixteenth of an inch from his eyeballs, Nico indeed looks. The Abstract Iron Centaur looks more foreboding on camera, somehow, but Nico barely notices it – instead, he finds his gaze drawn to the beam so wide it forces Will’s eyes shut, and the dazed, dopey look on his own face; eyes wide, mouth dropped, slightly, and posture undeniably leaning into Will’s magnetism. 

Humming to himself, Will slips his wallet out of (one of) the (many) pocket(s) of his shorts, tucking the photo inside it. Nico melts into a puddle of goo on the dead grass. His mortal soul escapes his body, descending rapidly. His atoms return to star dust. Et cetera.

“Oh, shit, we gotta go if we want to reach Georgia in good time.”

“Right,” says Nico, voice cracking. He clears his throat and tries again. “Let’s go.”

He absolutely does not haul ass to his car. He walks at a normal pace, for normal reasons, thoughts in a normal place. 

“Back on the 75,” Will instructs as they peel out, sliding sunglasses on his nose. “We gotta scoot around town a bit to get to the entrance, but it won’t take long.”

“D’you know this place?” Nico asks, even though he doubts it. As far as he knows, Will was outside of Sarasota one time: in the move from Austin. He supposes his mother might have had a concert up here, or something, and unusually, let him tag along, but he doubts it.

“Nah, just memorised the map.”

Nico hides a smile. “Oh, of course.”

It’s all too easy to tease Will, but there was a reason he was valedictorian. There’s a reason for his many shining scholarship offers, his endless well of ridiculous facts pulled from nowhere. He is, genuinely, the smartest person Nico has ever met.

Even if he genuinely believes he can fight an alligator and win.

“Two hours ‘til we cross state lines,” Will says brightly, shouting slightly over the wind as they merge onto the highway. “And then on to infinity!”

“Onto infinity,” Nico agrees, matching his smile. 

Already, he’s proved Nico wrong. They’re farther now than Will has been since he was seven, and there’s nothing in his expression that suggests he wants to slow down. 

Privately, and quietly, Nico lets himself start to hope. 

———

next chapter

[thatonepikminperson]

Head cannons that I may or may not have (Pikmin 4 Ones)

Dumbest ideas ever here we go (Long post btw, using the read more so it's not too long for people just scroll tags)

Just to get the relationship head cannons out of the way, Dingo is homies with Bernard, Yonny and Russ are evil besties, and Shepherd and Collin are friends, anyway time for some unhinged head cannons

Collin drinks coffee right as it's done, even if it's boiling hot just because he doesn't have the time to wait for it to cool down. His taste buds hate him for this

Russ has set off the fire alarm on the S.S. Shepherd at least 8 times during the Rescue Corps Mission on PNF-404, mostly on accident

Bernard sucks balls at cooking and is banned from the small kitchen on the S.S. Shepherd. Idk why I feel this one, but man's has 100% burnt the water

Oatchi has ate money before, how much? Up to you to decide

Dingo doesn't understand the concept of knocking 80% of the time

Yonny reads smut in public without batting an eye. I'm not elaborating more on this one, he just does

Bernard has a playlist of over 600 songs just for when he's driving, which ranges from hard rock to vocaloid

Shepherd was an adventurous child, and climbed out of her window to get out of the house when she was grounded for fun

Bernard may or may not have accidentally gotten Dingo into vocaloid, and Dingo can never live this down

Sometimes, Collin just makes rice and an egg and calls it a "good meal."

Shepherd forces Collin to eat sometimes

Shepherd often goes to dog shelters and has to physically restraint herself from adopting every single dog there

Oatchi has tried to eat Shepherd's hand on several occasions, and has failed every single time

Dingo is really good at most sports, except for dodge ball because of that one rule where if the person catches the ball your out. Dingo hates that rule with a burning passion

Bernard says "oopsie doopsie" and "lol" out loud, unironically, all the time

Yonny has once tried to add a robot leg to Oatchi. Shepherd did not find this as fascinating as he did, unfortunately

Russ is Yonny's second victim when it comes to consuming his concoctions, but he's way more willing to do than Dingo and will sometimes give the concoction a review like he's at a five star restaurant.

Russ has electrocuted himself at least 18 times before, and he's also electrocuted Yonny twice

Collin has had to drag Yonny away from Dingo to stop the doctor from experimenting on the poor ranger

And finally (For now, If I think of more, I'll add more), despite everyone's differences, everyone on the crew is very protective of each other. You mess with one person, you mess with all six of them. (Technically all seven of them if you count Oatchi)

[buggywiththefolkmagic]

Personal Do Not Read Witchy Author List

There will be a google doc with updates as I find more authors to avoid. These are all my own personal opinion and I do take the author's actions into account when judging their ability to write legitimate information.

TW: Slavery, serial killers, racism, TERFs, creeps, neonazis, asylums, and a slew of other super unsavory things. I tried to make this list as PG as possible while highlighting the issues with these individual people. 

*Alestier Crowley. *

   He's a literal piece of garbage. Misogynistic, thief of a toooon of closed practices, has entire cults still dedicated to him, called himself a voice of God (both Abrahamic and apparently like 5 Egyptian deities??? I mean excuse me sir how about no??) He also declared himself ‘above’ Gods back in 1922 calling himself Ipssissimus. I hate Crowley so much I have literally stuck a picture of him to a dartboard before. He can suck an egg in the afterlife. He also put his own wife in an asylum for 'alcoholism’ because she wanted a divorce. The only thing he ever did right was get kicked down a flight of stairs at a temple once by a poet.

*Anastasia Greywolf*

   Appropriates at least Jewish practices if not every Indigenous practice there is. Wholeheartedly encourages people to use magic instead of going to a doctor for things like oh I dunno EPILEPSY And claims she has spells for like Marvel-level super powers which uh no Ana. You don't. Lots of Christianity for a supposedly FULL pagan and wiccan author. Her spells are all controlled like...so wrong. So, so wrong. Don't ask please. I can't begin to describe it. Advocates for smudging and uses phrases like "Cherokee Rituals", and the Romani G-slur. 

*Gerald Gardner*

   Made his own branch of wicca, the first technically, and his own coven had to make rules just so he wouldn't spill everything to any reporter that asked. Used Crowley as a main resource.

*Jason Miller*

   Claims to do Hoodoo. A horrible formatter, and generally super dismissive of being a rootworker and other potentially closed practices, has not been initiated. Has claimed that anyone can petition/pray to Papa Legba without initiation because "Vodou is a congregational religion/practice". From the Vodou and Haitian Vodou practitioners I have talked to that is VERY incorrect, it may be congregational but you still have to be involved in the community to be trusted with those practices because so much of it has been bastardized for media and racism purposes. He is also a student of Catherine Yronwode, who is another SUPER problematic figure in the Hoodoo/Rootwork community.  

 A link of his own words on culture appropriation which includes mild inaccuracy towards Indiginous Peoples and that they don’t ‘own’ certain practices when it’s very clear the wording of those practices DOES in fact come from those peoples. He’s fine with people being Yogis, or Shamans, or calling satchel spells mojo bags, and other such phrases and won’t correct people if they use such words out of context because “language changes”. Also says if someone within a practice says it’s closed to go to ANOTHER AND ANOTHER until you find someone willing to teach you??? That’s not how it works sir.

Source: https://www.strategicsorcery.net/on-cultural-misappropriation/

*Lisa Chamberlain*

   Not an actual person. This is a ghost writer name for a bunch of garbage literally copy and pasted from wikipedia into books. I wish I was kidding. 

*Lisa Leister/Lester/whatever other spelling she's used.*

   Such a major TERF. Like JK Rowling level TERF. Claims magic comes from a womb so anybody that doesn't have one isn't a real witch. Like WTF lady.

*Raymond Buckland*

  Where to start...uses the G-slur often. (His grandfather was romani so it blurs the line of blood quantum.)  Very sexist and obsessed with the idea of a woman getting uh...undressed for rituals while men stay dressed and more things I cannot say ina PG space??? As magic?? VERY anti-minor and LGBTQA+. Toxic, just plain toxic. Can't do it. I have read his Blue Book and it's the least problematic thing he wrote. I'm alright with it.

*Silver Ravenwolf*   WhOOO boy. So super anti-christian, which is fine and dandy...if you didn't claim to be in a lineage of braucherei/hexerei. Wiccan, like the type of wiccan that says no other witchcraft exists and yet has written folk magic books??? She really needs to make up her mind. Claims Satanists don't actually exist. Claims most Jewish powers worshiped "the Goddess" (whoever that is)??? Very cult-like language about "not telling friends and family about your new life/reality/experience/whatever". Also SO MUCH APPROPRIATION. SO SO MUCH. She also gets her history wrong, on a lot of basic information that most non-witches know about like say the Salem Witch Trials.

*Catherine Yronwode* Ooh man. So Catherine Yronwode’s career started as a comic book artist. She’s worked on such things like the Elvira comic, DNAgents, and a gaggle of super controversial trading cards which included the Kennedy Assasination, a serial killer collection, and the AIDS epidemic. Of which she was sued for using one half of the Hillside Stranglers duo in said killer trading cards without his permission, the judge sadly threw the case out because and this is a quote, “ If Bianchi had been using his face as a trademark when he was killing women, he would not have tried to hide it from the police.” There were two more from her comic days, but those aren’t super relevant besides the one that pushed the envelope of what sort of trading cards should be sold to children. On the magical side of things, I will be blunt here: As one of the ‘big bads’ of the Rootwork/Folk/Hoodoo community? I really REALLY dislike her. She has made numerous false claims about New Orleans/Haitian Vodou and that it’s only a very recent practice, non-religious, and slaves never used it because it didn’t exist yet??? History books and entire generations will disagree. An example would be this link of an open letter to her written by a New Orleans Voodoo practitioner and someone she wrote a whole article about: https://conjureart.blogspot.com/2013/10/open-letter-to-cat-yronwode-and-lucky.html

She owns a few different websites namely https://www.luckymojo.com/, has written numerous Hoodoo based books, and actively has accused numerous people who have asked her for sources and or disagreed with her of plagiarism and has slung more mud that you can shake a stick at. 

She also praises a book on Marie Laveau and yet discredits herself by calling New Orleans Voodoo a new religion/neopractice??? She’s just confusing as all heck to me.

*Christian Day*   This guy’s just a creep. One stuck in the early 2000s mall goth phase even though he’s over 50. He also appropriates Hoodoo and owns two Hoodoo shops as well as multiple other witch shops in Salem and recently New Orleans on the French Quarter (Which is pure tourist fodder and not a reflection of true New Orleans Voodoo/Vodun/Rootwork). He has also harassed ex-employees so badly it’s landed him in court. His book The Witch’s Book of the Dead also reads very much like a list of accomplishments rather than anything useful. All about his television spots and experiences doing that. (Did I mention he was in an episode of Ghost Adventures? Yes, that one with Zac Bagans??? And it did not make us witches look too great, honestly speaking.)

Sources for Harassment Claims: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/salem-witch-gets-protective-order-against-warlock/

https://www.wcvb.com/article/warlock-christian-day-ordered-to-stay-away-from-salem-witch/8228072

*Yvonne and Gavin Frost*   I dunno how else to say this, I really don’t. These two? Pedophiles. Multiple writings of theirs included not-safe-for-work-or-children rituals that must include minors. Avoid. AVOID AVOID. AVOID ANYONE WHO USES THEM AS A RESOURCE! This should NOT be okay in any circle. They are VERY used within the Wicca religion so please be careful!!

*Orion Foxwood* Some of his information is very sound! I can’t fault him there. He does have a tendency to blend different traditions without actively TELLING you he’s blending them though. He’s and this is a direct quote, “He is a witch and Elder in Romano Celtic-Traditional Craft, High Priest in Alexandrian Wicca and teacher of the Faery Seership tradition. He is also the founding Elder of Foxwood Temple and a primary founder of the Alliance of the Old Religion, a national network of covens in his line that have united to preserve the ways of his Elders. He was the co-director of Moonridge, a center for metaphysical, Craft and Faery studies in Maryland” That’s an awful lot of traditions to juggle and not only write on but actively teach. He also performs conjure, which in of itself might not be an issue but Conjure usually blends into Hoodoo really quickly if one isn’t careful! A lot of the traditions he talks about from his family sound quite familiar, he’s clearly from Appalachia but his books on the subject blend in his other practices instead of keeping them separate. 

*Starr Casas*   She’s in the same category as Orion, only she doesn’t necessarily give her credentials to be teaching Hoodoo, and even wrote a whole book filled with Hoodoo love spells. She also co-owns a French Quarter Conjure Shop, which if you ask any practitioners from New Orleans...is catered to pure tourists and not a true example of the crafts from the area. 

*Shawn Engel*   I’m gonna be blunt here. More appropriation of the Jewish practices, Hoodoo, and other information that is just plain UPG without saying it’s UPG and encourages throwing hexes at political party members solo. I read The Power of Hex and had to put it down numerous times just to gather myself and not throw it away, I don’t know if it was tone or sheer level of appropriation...likely both.

*Kate Freuler*   Of Blood and Bones is chock full of Hoodoo, full stop. Only acknowledges that something comes from Hoodoo once and also gets basic mythology information on the Deities she mentions wrong in some cases. Also a lot of the book seems to be UPG because the bibliography is super small for a 300 page book.

*Dorothy Morrison*   I picked up Utterly Wicked once. A very odd book full of Hoodoo and Vodun spellwork and misinformation, the author is also Garderian Wiccan so even the writing of a book full of hexes is slightly...concerning compared to the Wiccan traditions and redes. Odd is the best I have to describe how I personally feel. I will say this again: Voodoo Dolls are not used to cause pain, stop bastardizing that single aspect of the practice. Thank you.

*Helena Blavatsky*

 I dunno how else to say this either, her philosophy and occult knowledge, called Theosophy is a portion of what inspired Hitler. Pure unadulterated racism veiled in a ‘Atlantian Race Theory”. Horrible stuff, read for a class project once and felt disgusting.

*Christopher Penczak*Whoo boy. On the surface he seems alright, one of the first ‘male’ witches I had ever heard of except for Scott Cunningham. But the more you dig into his work the more inaccuracies and Christian bashing you see. For example: Christianty was the first patriarchal society. Uhm...I believe you’re kinda forgetting the men who ran Rome and Greece there sir. He also fully proposes the ‘burning times’ were like a ‘witch holocaust’. NO! NO IT WAS NOT. You can’t compare the hundreds of years and MAYBE a thousand-ish people dying to the millions that died in the short timespan the Holocaust was a thing. Fuck Christopher for that comparison and also for claiming it was a ‘burning time’ to begin with. (History says that most were hung...or tortured. Burning is a very small number of that list in general. 

He makes a lot of sweeping statements and sees witchcraft as a religion and NOT a practice. He whitewashes, fully harps on the Wicca = witchcraft = religion thing and THEN hones in on the difference between “white and black” magic and how cursing is evil and yet highlights certain practices that actively practice...cursing...as they have for generations??? He (atleast) doesn’t demonize Satanism but does still backhand the idea anyway, that they CAN’T be witches because witches only ‘heal’. Cultural appropriation and fetishization of ‘Native’ practices while calling them primitive all in the same breath, I just can’t with this guy. I really can’t. 

*Amy Blackthorn* 

Owns a tea brand called ‘Blackthorn Hoodoo Blends’ she is white. When questioned by BIPOC individuals she complains and blocks them instead of explaining why she chose the name Hoodoo for just teas. TEA. She is also the author of Blackthorn’s Botanical Magic, Sacred Smoke (A book on smudging yikes on trikes), and Blackthorn’s Protection Magic. 

Proof of blocking: https://thisblackwitch.com/2016/04/01/blackthorn-teas-whose-culture-is-it-anyways/

*Tarl Warwick *

Is more commonly known as Styxhexenhammer666 on youtube and other social media sites. Has written a pile and I mean a PILE of occult based books including ones on Hermetic magic, ritualistic magic, demons, solomon, folk plants and healing, Kabbalah, and many MANY more. 

He makes no claim to being Jewish, and given his political wishy washiness, and multitude of controversies which includes claiming the Holocaust wasn’t ‘that many dead’, Charles Manson deserved release because he was ‘extremely innocent and didn’t kill anyone’, and fairly recently also wrote and published a book on Critical Race Theory and why it’s ‘garbage’. I can’t support him no matter how accurate some of his information may be (if any at all). 

*Temperance Alden* This really pains me to say, Temperance in her Wheel of the Year book made a claim that birth control “stunted her magical abilities” because it affected her hormones…in OTHER words unless you are a perfectly hormone producing WOMAN you don’t have great magical power. AVOID. AVOID. AVOID. That is a slippery slope to claiming medication will harm you, not to mention how TERF-y it is AND completely disregards that magic is for well…everyone. Such a stupid gatekeep-y concept. 

*Sarah Kate Istra/Dver*

Advocates for using ‘spirit animals’ regardless of Indigenous beliefs and concerns. Is also a known ally with the Piety Posse, a neo-nazi group of pagans who claim the term polytheist can only apply to them and if you aren’t a Hellenistic pagan…you aren’t pagan at all. They also advocate for animal sacrifices, blood tests to prove purity, and other horrible HORRIBLE stuff. 

*Sannion/H. Jeremiah Lewis*

Obvious Neo-nazi, keeps images of swastikas on his personal blog, and not the ones that the nazis stole from, the nazi one. And super SUPER transphobic.

*Edward P. Butler*

Major persecution complex, spends half his twitter complaining about how monotheists are destroying…I dunno…everything? Also defends Krasskova quite heavily. Antisemetic as well.

*Galina Krasskova*

Hellenic pagans watch out. Defends the AFA. A ringleader of the Piety Posse. There’s a lot more horrific stuff about her and I won’t go into extreme details. But TW: Romanticizes SA with deities, human sacrifice, animal sacrifice. Compares debating to the holocaust, lots of victim blaming, gatekeeping, and screams folkish. 

*Diana Cooper*

Racist. Hard stop. Also appropriates chakras. Has a weird belief that food controls skin color and that Africa will never be a good country because it’s the solar plexus of the universe…or something like that. I got 20 pages into the book and literally couldn’t go any farther. Did I mention this book was supposedly on dragons???

*Judika Iiles* So much appropriation, advocates for making altars and working with closed deities. Lots of incorrect information including dangerous spellwork like obsession spells. And one in particular that has roots in a racist stereotypes. Avoid please! 

[mermaidlighthouse]

Since I’m apparently making this a fuckin series of posts…I’m gonna look at another Izzy moment/scene from the perspective that while a separate character with other functions and characterizations, Izzy narratively is a personification of Blackbeard and therefore an extension of Ed…this time we’re gonna look at the “you know me better than anyone has ever known me and I dare say the same is true for me about you” and recontextualize it around that premise…

Two things before we begin - First, this is going to be highly critical of Izzy if that’s not for you then skip it, however, this is critical of Izzy from the perspective of someone who does enjoy his character both as a separate entity and in this framework. Second, this interpretation is predicated on the idea that Izzy is both a personification of Blackbeard and that the persona of Blackbeard functions narratively as a physical manifestation of Ed’s poor self-worth and darkest thoughts about himself.

To get to the meat of the scene I think it needs to be said first, that Izzy is canonically and categorically WRONG in his assertion. He doesn’t know Ed all that well at all frankly and it’s apparent from the very first interactions between them. So, let's go through some of those:

The scenes in the Captain’s cabin on the QAR: Izzy didn’t know that Ed was so fucking bored that the idea of something…really anything…out of the ordinary would interest him. We know that Izzy has no qualms with straight-up lying to Ed. “I explicitly told him Blackbeard desired his company.” Even if you take the stance that there should be no way Stede wouldn’t know canonically famous for being Blackbeard’s First Mate Izzy Hands (which I have said before) that means that Izzy assumes he’s just that famous that he should be a known entity but, that still isn’t explicitly saying Blackbeard. With that in mind, why didn’t he just lie to Ed about losing Hornberry? He could have very easily lied about not having been “bested at swordplay”. That’s just another interesting thing about Stede…Izzy ends up being the person who ultimately keeps making Stede seem like the MOST interesting person. The fact that he couldn’t recognize that Ed would not only find Stede initially interesting but would find him even more interesting because he told Blackbeard to “go suck eggs in hell” after they’ve already been following him around is a huge indication that he doesn’t understand Ed at all, let alone better than anyone else.

The first day on The Revenge: so Izzy NEVER realizes that Ed already has a plan to get away from the Spanish. I’m not litigating whether Ed’s actions are manipulative (which I do think there’s a sound reading there btw) I’m simply saying that Izzy was unable to read Ed’s actions or nonactions to recognize he was being played with. I’m also not litigating whether the plan was sound because again my whole point is that Izzy never realized Ed had a plan from the moment Izzy found him on deck. This one may be up for personal interpretation but, if you know a person better than anyone else, it seems like you should have some sort of inkling that they are messing around with you. 

I’m not actually going to go through every interaction between them but I think these showcase that from the start of the show Izzy doesn’t understand Ed, he doesn’t know Ed. Izzy is not telling the truth, he’s lying.

Back to the original premise then

looking at this line from the perspective that Izzy functions as an extension of Blackbeard. So, a lot of the dialogue between Ed and Izzy throughout the show can be read as showcasing when you have self-loathing, the voices in your head will lie to you because you can’t see a way around them. That you can and will lie to yourself when you hate yourself because it’s easier at that point to perpetuate the lies because they’ve been what you’ve told yourself for a very long time. That you may have a skewed perspective especially about yourself. Essentially, I’m saying that Izzy functions as a way to show the audience how Ed talks to himself in his darkest moments, Blackbeard’s voice (in the same way ghost!Nigel functioned for Stede). 

Izzy telling Ed that he knows him best and vice versa is the voice in Ed’s head, Blackbeard, saying “we are the same. I’m the only one who understands you and no one else will see you better than me. I know all your darkest moments which means I know the REAL you. The version of you that I desire is the REAL you. I’m here to protect you from the darkness within and from outside because I’m your only point of contact in the world.” It’s a personification of how low self-esteem or self-worth preys on and isolates you by creating a false dichotomy where no one else will ever identify with you. Or that anyone who thinks you can grow beyond what your low self-worth dictates is “the right way to be” is wrong because they don’t know you, not really. 

It’s the ultimate mindfuck because it’s the voice in your head manipulating you from the inside, it can be very difficult to argue against your own thoughts. We see this in the scene as well, Ed never actually contradicts Izzy even though we already know there are several ways in which Izzy doesn’t know Ed.

This scene shows how Ed can easily feel as though there will be nothing but this, this constant boredom, this constant pain in trying to conform to the darkest thoughts in his head, Blackbeard.

This same logic can be applied to the "This is Blackbeard. Not some namby-pamby pining for his boyfriend" line. Izzy is voicing the idea that the persona of Blackbeard isn't supposed to have emotional entanglements. He's implying that Blackbeard doesn't want or need to be loved, Blackbeard only needs prestige and power. The desire to be loved is all Edward and Edward is nothing without Blackbeard. That Stede is an impediment to who Ed REALLY is. It's mirrored in Izzy telling Stede "I know you think you understand him." It's how your self-loathing can and will attempt to push people away. And Izzy falters when Stede proves that he actually does know Ed, he's fully aware of who Ed is as a person in his entirety and Stede is the person who is going to accept ALL of Ed's iterations. All of these lines from Izzy are lies and manipulation disguised as self-preservation.

The voice of Blackbeard is literally just how Izzy speaks to Ed…and in this way Izzy is the rotten leg that needs to come off................

This is no way justifies or allows Izzy to get off the hook for being manipulative and being an outside person who does all this shit...I'm just looking at how the show allows you to understand Ed better by giving an outside voice to the things Ed is struggling with internally. It can be both.

[isa-ghost]

I need qPhil to tell Sunny how awesome and swaggy she is so she stops thinking he hates her and so Tubblings that clearly don't watch any other POV besides Tubbo's shut the FUCK up about Phil hating her and stop posting the most rancid, untrue, one-sided & illiterate ass takes I've ever seen.

IT'S MISCOMMUNICATION. THAT QPHIL DOESNT REALIZE IS HAPPENING. BECAUSE NO ONE HAS TOLD HIM. BECAUSE QTUBBO'S STUPID ASS (I SAY THIS AS A TUBBLING MYSELF) DOESN'T FUCKING SPEAK UP FOR HIS DAUGHTER. AT LEAST NOT OFTEN ENOUGH. NO ONE ELSE BESIDES HIM REALIZES SUNNY IS FEELING THE WAY SHE IS. AND HE SAYS NOTHING ABOUT IT TO ANYONE. AND SUNNY DOESN'T REALIZE SHE CAN SPEAK UP HERSELF. OR SHE'S AFRAID TO BC SHE'S JUST A KID, WHICH IS COMPLETELY VALID. SUNNY'S ADMIN IS FANTASTIC AT PLAYING A CHILD THAT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THIS SOCIAL STUFF.

TUBBLINGS NEED TO PULL THEMSELVES OUT OF RP FOR 2 SECONDS AND REALIZE A CHILD'S PERCEPTION OF THE WORLD ISN'T WHAT'S ACTUALLY TRUE. FOR A BUNCH OF CHRONIC METAGAMERS, THEY FUCKING SUCK AT THINKING META WHEN IT ACTUALLY FUCKING MATTERS. I SAY THIS AS SOMEONE WHO WATCHES STREAMS REGULARLY. I SEE CHAT.

AND IT SHOULDN'T BE ONLY SUNNY'S JOB TO SPEAK UP FOR HERSELF WHEN SHE'S FEELING A BAD WAY ANYWAY. PARENTS SPEAK FOR THEIR EGGS ALL THE TIME. TUBBLINGS MAY NOT HAVE WATCHED QSMP BEFORE TUBBO WAS ON TO KNOW THAT, BUT THEY'RE METAGAMING LITTLE FUCKERS ANYWAY. SO IF THEY'RE SO PRESSED ABOUT THIS, THE LEAST THEY COULD DO IS THINK OF PROPOSING COMMUNICATING ON SUNNY'S BEHALF AS IF IT'S AN ORIGINAL IDEA THEY HAD, SINCE THEY LOVE SUGGESTING META OR BACKGAME-Y SHIT SO MUCH.

OR THEY SHOULD THEMSELVES OUT OF RP FOR 2 FUCKING SECONDS TO REALIZE ROLEPLAY IS ABOUT COMMUNICATION. AND TUBBO IS NOT COMMUNICATING THAT THERE IS AN ISSUE. SO THIS IS NOT PHIL'S FAULT.

Also Tubblings & Phil antis in general have this habit of assuming he's being fucking rude when That's Just How Northerners Talk. So good job, you dumbasses are stereotyping. I've seen so many UK northerners speak up about how they hate seeing people from their region labeled as assholes for talking the way they talk. But I digress.

REGARDLESS OF FANDOM ISSUES.

QTUBBO SHOULD HAVE TOLD PHIL BY NOW THAT SUNNY FEELS THIS WAY. INSTEAD OF LETTING THIS FUCKING FESTER. WORSE, SOMETIMES HE STRAIGHT UP TALKS TO SUNNY LIKE HER PERCEPTION OF PHIL HATING HER IS TRUE. RATHER THAN REASSURING HER HE DOESN'T. FROM PHIL'S POV, TALLULAH & SUNNY GET ALONG NOW SO THERE'S NO TENSION BETWEEN THE DEATH FAMILY & THE UNDERSCORE FAMILY. HE HAS NO FUCKING IDEA THAT SUNNY DOESN'T RECOGNIZE HE'S TEASING. OR THAT HE CAME OFF A WRONG WAY. AGAIN, HE JUST TALKS THE WAY HE TALKS. AND SUNNY DOESN'T REALIZE THAT. AND THAT'S OK BC SHE'S A KID.

I hope to god this is ccTubbo playing his character this way intentionally bc I'm down for imperfect/flawed characters. Even if this is aggravating me SO MUCH and even if I HATE characters that think everyone & everything is against them when it's clearly not true. Bc at least then that means there's time for qTubbo to learn he's severely fucking things up going about things the way he is. There's opportunity for the narrative to progress and for the conflict to resolve. qPhil is imperfect and flawed and I snort that shit like crack. I'm down to ride out qTubbo's character development just the same even if I don't enjoy it.

BUT UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT THIS IS NOT A MATTER OF META VS RP AND NOT AN INTENTIONAL CHOICE ON CCTUBBO'S PART.

QTUBBO SHOULD BE SUPPORTING SUNNY WHETHER THAT MEANS SPEAKING UP FOR HER OR ENCOURAGING HER TO. INSTEAD HE BASICALLY GOES "DAMN THAT'S CRAZY, WE'RE BOTH SO HATED" AND MOVES ON. WHEN. IF YOU WATCH PHIL OR FIT OR PAC OR MAYBE EVEN BAGI BC SHE'S ON "EARLY" SOMETIMES. THEY ALL CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THEM BOTH. THEY CARE ABOUT EVERY ISLANDER. EVEN THE ONES THAT DON'T SHOW UP FOR FUCKING MONTHS. ITS THEM VS THE FEDS. ALWAYS. EVEN AFTER FUCKING PURGATORY, THEY WILL ALL STILL DROP EVERYTHING TO MAKE SURE EGGS ARE OK OR ASK IF PEOPLE NEED HELP WHEN MESSAGES POP UP IN CHAT. THEY STILL PANIC EVEN WHEN MESSAGES OF SOMEONE GOING DOWN POP UP BECAUSE THEY'RE PLAYING AROUND. IT HAPPENED JUST THE OTHER DAY WITH RICHAS AND MIKE. NOT EVEN BEING FORCED TO BETRAY AND HURT EACH OTHER, AND BEING PITTED AGAINST EACH OTHER FOR WEEKS HAS BROKEN THE BONDS THEY ALL HAVE. THIS ISLAND HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN "IT TAKES A VILLAGE" ISLAND. EGG NEED HELP, EGG SAD, PARENTS SCRAMBLE TO HELP AND COMFORT. SAME WITH FELLOW ISLANDERS. EVERYTHING THE ISLANDERS DO IS TO A) PROTECT THE EGGS NO MATTER WHO'S EGG IT IS, B) PROTECT AND SUPPORT EACH OTHER, AND C) TO FIND ANSWERS FROM THE FEDS TO GET CLOSURE. OR ESCAPE THE ISLAND. THE DAY TUBBLINGS LEARN THAT IT'S NOT AND NEVER HAS BEEN TUBBO VS EVERYONE IS THE DAY I KNOW FUCKING PEACE.

SO I AM BEGGING. THAT IF QTUBBO WON'T FUCKING SPEAK UP FOR SUNNY. AND IF SHE'S TOO AFRAID TO SPEAK UP FOR HERSELF. THAT AT THE VERY LEAST, PHIL FUCKING DOTES ON HER SO SHE REALIZES HE DOESN'T FUCKING HATE HER. AND THEN TUBBLINGS REALIZE HE DOESN'T FUCKING HATE HER. HE DOESN'T HATE ANYONE ON THE ISLAND THAT ISN'T A FED OR A PURGATORY FUCKWAD. AND BY DOTING ON SUNNY AND TELLING HER HOW COOL AND FUN SHE IS, TUBBLINGS WILL FINALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP. AND SUNNY AND THE CROWS WILL ALL KNOW FUCKING PEACE.

[blue-b-bro]

Izzy and the candles

(kinda about Izzy's arc)

So I’ve finally sat down and looked closely into the candle scenes and after analyzing them, I’ve came to the conclusion, that they’re about the state of Izzy’s feeling towards Ed, how he deals with them. (if you have other ideas please share)

Let’s look at the scenes, shall we? (it's Izzy's POV, not what I think about his actions)

S1e3:

- He's not interested in meeting. - What? - 🕯️I explicitly told him… Blackbeard desired his company.

- But does he know who I am?

- Seemed to, yeah.🕯️ - And still, he said no. - You can "go suck eggs in hell" was his response, I believe. - Fascinating.

Why at that moment? Well, I think he didn’t lie, or at least he didn’t think he did. So he’s not punishing himself or anything. It’s about the whole conflict in s1: Izzy desires Ed’s company, wants Ed to desire his company. Izzy thinks, he knows Ed, but it turns out, he doesn’t know him so well.

He’s burning his hand by getting too close, just like his possessiveness ultimately only hurts him and Ed in the process. His feelings are so intense it’s actually destructive.

S1e7:

“🕯️Bonnet comes along, and he's like, "Oh, Oh, Blackbeard, I really love... I love the way you dress. I love the way your hair, your beard, and all that." I tell ya, I would've ripped his fuckin' head off. And I would have had him, too, I would have had him…🕯️”

And what is he doing just after that? Making a deal with the English. Proving that his selfish desire only makes it worse for both of them: Ed leaves him, Izzy made him work for the king.

S2e5:

Now, we need context. After Ed’s visit in s2e2 Izzy realized, that his selfish actions harmed not only him, but actually Ed too. That he was actively helping Ed kill himself, that Ed expected him, to just go with the plan, because he was his boss. That he was a bad first mate, because he almost killed his captain instead of protecting him, and that his way of love was bad, because it made Ed so miserable. So he metaphorically killed his old self (by trying to actually do it), stopped Ed, freed from his orders, and saved the crew.

He kept it mostly together until the crew was saved by Stede and then, there was nothing for him to do, no use for him. He may have did that big gesture to become his new self, but that didn’t erase his regrets. He felt responsible for Ed’s state, felt it was his fault for not doing his job, for making Ed hate him, for being useless, everything mixed in one miserable mess. He expected the crew to just let him die from overdrinking, because why would they care? They’re safe now, they have Stede. When the crew made him the new leg, he decided to give himself a second chance, stops drinking and tries to find a way to be of use (see? He didn’t get over it at all)

In e5, right after Ed’s apology (“And whatever that nasty, dark stuff was that brought us here, it's in the past. Which is all I want to say, at the end of the day, is we're trying to move the culture forward.”) he starts whittling the shark. The whole episode is about moving on, but Izzy doesn’t do that. He just buries his feelings deeper.

“Well, this is a pirate ship and I'm a pirate, so, yeah. I'm good with it.” He tells himself that that’s how it is, just like Archie said: “They get away with it and we move on”. Izzy doesn’t expect any apology, doesn’t think he deserves any, but he’s still hurt, he’s still unmoored, without any clear direction in life.

- So this is where all my candles went. And you've used the good ones. - Yep. I'm having to relearn the basics with one leg. [🕯️] - The basics? I think my basics might be a bit more basic than your basics. Actually, it recently occurred to me that... - That you know nothing? That you're a shitty Captain, yeah? - I don't know about that. But Blackbeard did say he credited you with a lot of his skills. - Yeah, well, Blackbeard says a lot of things. But what did he say about me specifically? - Well, specifically, he said you taught him everything he knows. Made him the Captain he is today. Perhaps I could learn at the feet of one of the greats. - Foot. - Oh, yes, foot. Sorry. - Ya know, maybe I could teach even you a thing or two.

“I'm having to relearn the basics with one leg.” He’s basically saying he’s starting anew. He decided to forget the past, to kill his feelings for Ed, all that hurt and sorrow and guilt, just move on.

“Don't know what you're talkin' about. A shark did this. Dangling my legs over the side of the ship. Served me right, too.” It was all his own fault, so he doesn’t need any apology. It was to be expected, so there’s no need to feel hurt or betrayed.

S2e8:

Izzy was telling himself it was his fault he got treated like that by Ed, it was just how pirate’s life worked, everything's fine, but at the same time Stede was happy, grateful and nice to him all episode, showing him, that no, it doesn’t have to work like that, it didn’t have to work like that. His relationship with Ed didn’t have to look like it looked, he could have had better relationship with Ed, if only he let him.

In e6 he’s drinking again.

they both know it’s not about the weather. it’s about Ed’s feelings, Ed feeling it was all too nice and something has to go bad eventually. And Izzy’s on his new track, trying to keep Ed in this better place, the one he so desperately tried to get him out of in s1. He now knows his relationship with Ed and Ed’s life was so miserable because of him, and he tries to fix it, to help Ed get rid of bad habits.

Izzy probably didn’t know how to respond, having mixed feelings about it since he was all about how it was his own fault and Ed apologizing actually contradicts it, forcing Izzy to acknowledge his suffering that he so strongly tried to repress.

“Turn the poison into positivity” it’s kinda like a response to s1e5 where Izzy was opposed/shocked by open culture on the Revenge and now, knowing his old ways were wrong he actually stops, asks what’s that about and tries himself. Izzy sings about looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses, and I think it’s about him wishing Ed and Stede well.

Izzy decided to focus on helping Ed and Stede in their relationship. He realized he was the reason for Ed’s unhappiness, it was him, who made him worse by trying to keep him to himself, and so his own feelings don't matter. His feelings for Ed don't matter, his love doesn't matter, and that’s why he’s all helpful, but at the same time looks tired. After Ed leaves Stede, Izzy finds him at the bar, (always with Stede when Ed isn’t around). He tells him he thinks they’re good for each other, comforts Stede, is ok with talking about their feelings for Ed. He tries to protect Stede from his auto destructive behavior post breakup (not just going along, like with Ed).

Now we’re at e8 finally:

- 🕯️Can't believe I have an audience with the great Israel Hands. That's absolutely astounding. I've always thought you were underrated. I mean, it's absurd, isn't it? Isn't it? That Blackbeard, he gets all this praise, when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation?🕯️ (playing with fire in a safe way, calm) - Ya don't know the first thing about piracy, do ya? - Don't I? - It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want. It's about belonging to something when the world has told you you're nothin'. It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. It's about letting go of ego for something larger. The crew.

“when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation” Izzy feels responsible for all the bad things that happened to Ed, for his unhappiness. He wanted to follow and serve Blackbeard, not to replace him. He and Ed created Blackbeard, why would he want to have something that was already his? When Blackbeard got all the praise, Izzy was proud. The only praises he needed was those from Ed. (I don't mean he didn't care about being respected by others but appreciated)

“It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want. It's about belonging to something when the world has told you you're nothin'. It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. It's about letting go of ego for something larger. The crew.”

It’s about Izzy abandoning his selfish desire to be with Ed, to have Ed’s full attention, to have his love, and focusing about caring for others, for his family (Ed and the crew), about their happiness.

And you know what? I think it could’ve been Izzy’s idea to go with Ricky, to be on the front line. That’s very like him and I don’t see other reason for it. The crew is protective of Izzy, it wouldn’t be their idea.

- Ed, I'm sorry. I've been terrible to you. - No, I'm sorry. - No. - What are you apologizing for? I should be the one who's apologizing. - I fed your darkness… Blackbeard. For years, I egged him on, even though I knew you'd outgrown him, but the truth is… I needed him. Blackbeard... it was us. You, me.

I’m happy he said that, I’m happy they finally talked. I’m happy Izzy finally said out laud how unwell he is inside.

bonus:

(⚠️ here comes finale criticism, you’ve been warned ⚠️)

But him dying there was as if Ed died in e5! Oh, he realized his mistakes and started to fix them, but still is very messed up inside. That’s Ed in e5-6. And somehow he got to live after apologizing to Fang, hmm? Yeah, it was very in character for Izzy to get himself killed for Ed, to apologize for his great crimes of *checks hand* misunderstanding, being confused and selfish and being in love with Ed. Understandable. Ed can realize he’s actually worthy of love and forgiveness, but Izzy isn’t? Izzy would agree, but that’s not the point. He wasn’t on the arc towards healing. He was on the arc of realizing how bad of an influence he was and then dying . He was marinating that thought since s2e2. How fun.

Like, yeah, he realized he was selfish and fixed his wrongdoings. But he also thought he was worthless and, ekhem, defiled his captain with his love, wait where did I hear that...

[theredpharaoah]

So how did they kill every member of the immortal clan but Free if they’re immortal? I know Maka’s anti-magic wavelength can possibly harm them so did they have someone using that? Or does Death just have the ability to kill anyone and anything?

How come Lord Death died for Kid to succeed him? I know there’s a difference between a mature grim reaper and a true reaper, but wouldn’t that still mean Asura would’ve been in line before Kid? Unless Lord Death can decide who to give his mantle to. I was kinda sad when I found out Kid and Asura were basically Lord Death’s tulpas. I guess It makes sense cuz he wouldn’t have a lot of options for immortal partners(he killed all the Werewolves, I don’t think Free would be down to bottom, and he hates witches). I still wanted to see his human form though. It’s interesting that there can only be one true reaper at a time because having more is unnecessary. That implies a sort of natural law or maybe some sort of conservation of universal energy.

Where the hell is Shinra? He’s considered the creator god and a true god. I’m assuming that means he’s not dead so is he just lazing around somewhere? Or maybe he is dead cuz he’s like Soul Eater universe’s Jesus. And what happened to Adolla?

The witches. Kid said there’d be no more Death Scythes which kinda sucks. I mean obviously they were marking a race of people as evil from birth and essentially committing a genocide against witches, but from a purely fictional in-series standpoint; what happens now? They just hunt Kishin eggs?

And how the hell did Black Star become stronger than Kid - an actual God - off of pure will in the manga? I’m all for someone being able to do that, but most fictional universes don’t allow for that. Furthermore, him being the only one to reach that and being stronger than Kid is kinda giving OC. And if you can have a God of Hope or Power, why couldn’t Maka become a God of Courage or Perseverance, or Soul a God Of Loyalty? Btw, I’m assuming the whole “Courage” thing didn’t happen in the manga. Where the hell is Maka’s mother? Spirit may be a hoe but at least he’s present.

[lipslover]

rafe x barry (longggg) head-canons !!

barry often online orders fast food for dinner, which is most of the time some sort pizza. similar to the olive theory, this could be called the pepperoni theory.. rafe loves pepperoni, but barry claims he “hates it”. he picks his off and gives them to rafe, always. little to rafes knowledge; barry does indeed like pepperoni, he just enjoys rafes amusement a little more.

rafe has a hand kink. during sex he practically begs barry to wrap his hands around his throat, to let him suck on his fingers, to grasp at his hair, etc.. barry didn’t notice this, however, for the longest time. though when he did, he made sure he got his use out of it.

rafe and barry have very much different music tastes. rafe is more into stuff like the neighborhood or arctic monkeys, meanwhile barry is into tyler the creator or eminem; so when driving to any given location you could imagine the yelps.

at night when barry is trying to sleep in the comfort of his bed, rafe blurts out the most absurd things from beside him. stupid things like would you still love me if i was a caterpillar or do you ever think about the side effects of cocaine. its something that barry love/hates about their relationship; the way rafes brain works, the way barry can almost hear the gears in rafes head shifting.

rafe is always taking pictures of barry, mainly when hes not looking. he has an online photo album just for pictures of his lover. whether barrys back is turned or not, rafe obsesses over the pictures and looks over them every now and then (which is more often than not).

they have really stupid arguments that last weeks, stuff like who would survive underwater longer or who loves the other one more. rafe is always the one to ask the silly questions, yet barry is always the one to get the last word in.

rafe rants about whatever or whoever for as long as barry lets him, before cutting him off of course. barry often wonders how anyone could talk so much without running out of air. he just sits there and smiles stupidly while rafe talks about wanting to murder ward, or sarah, or rose, or topper, or kelce, or anyone that has wronged him in the past 24 hours; and barry just sits and listens.

barry is the first to get up in the morning, and can surprisingly cook (to a limit of four things). most mornings its eggs and toast, as it is arguably the easiest breakfast to make. rafe wakes up soon after, once he no longer feels barrys warmth, and crawls out to the kitchen. he makes noise purposely, to not startle barry, as his back is turned towards him. he hugs him from the waist behind and nuzzles his nose into barrys neck, while placing small kisses. ‘mornin’ country club.’

the first person to suspect that rafe and barry were anything BUT drug dealer and drug buyer, was jj. his father dragged him to barrys shitty trailer to buy the usuals. though when they walked in, rafe was following barry around the place like a puppy dog, talking about nonsense, when barry clearing was not paying attention. to jj it seemed as if rafe was.. more softer? more happy maybe. but what he knew was he had to text the P4L group chat about this asap. (this hc was inspired by a prompt wrote by hartigays. i really like this idea and may or may not make a little one-shot type of thing out of it..)

i might make a part two of this tomorrow idkkkk

[bizlybebo]

Hmmmm. Something tells me you’re thinking about c!ponk (/silly)

oh you beautiful beautiful soul hello

to me cponk is like objectively one of if not the most influential characters to the dsmp because he started it all. he was one of the original eight members and he was the trailblazer for all the lore on like. that first day when eberyeon was fucking with his lemon tree.

i’m not googling anything for this because it’s 2am but i also have like a terrible memory so i may get things wrong or miss them entirely but

i remember being there for sam’s valentines day stream and it was so sweet and funny. the surprise ponk left for him was so fucking elaborate and well put together,, sam was like “ponk made this?? :(“ and it was genuinely such a beautiful moment.

c!ponk was, at her essentials, a character who cared, a character who was along for the ride, who went with the flow of life and the love it brought her, showing her love through jokes and acts of service and gifts.

he loved gently, and he loved sam because he was sam, the friend he knew from day 1, the person who was always around from the start. he remembered every little detail about sam and he utilized all of it. he covered it with a veil of humor but he cared so much.

and yeah, sam loved him back, but sam was too far in deep, he was too committed to that prison and keeping dream in it no matter what and he made a choice.

and yeah i can spiral about that choice all day long but i’m more thinking about the fallout.

do you think ponk used to cut sam’s hair for him, and that after he cut ponk’s arm off, his hair grew long and uncontrollable. do you think his tools began to wear more because ponk would oftentimes repair them for him when he wasn’t using them. do you think he started to be just a little more ruthless because he lost his heart when he lost ponk.

do you think ponk often just spent time wondering if sam was still okay even though he had hurt him so much. even if he wanted to hate him. even if he did hate him at times.

and when he was angry, when he shouted at sam, asking why he “took something that couldn’t be replaced”, his hand, still nobody took him seriously.

everything c!ponk ever had was burnt to the ground. it was how they started and it was how they ended. (as far as i remember i don’t think she got a conclusive finale either which sucks.)

the egg preyed on people’s vulnerabilities, and i don’t think it’s a coincidence that ponk isolated themself in a cave, saying on stream that they were lonely, before joining the eggpire.

i don’t think it’s a coincidence that before joining the eggpire, he tried to speak to sam, who simply ignored the problem at hand and then tried to deflect blame when he got angry at him for cutting his fucking arm off. and then sam just stormed off when ponk was rightfully outraged.

…even then, though, ponk tried to mask her pain with humor, up until the end.

this is just a jumbled mess of thoughts because i’m too tired and too silly for a coordinated rant but here !!

[hollow-dweller]

5-10 🤭

it's always you at the scene of the crime

5. worst discord server and why

the answer to this is actually not in spidey, it's this one klance server i was in back in ye old voltron days that was absolutely horrible to exist in as an Allura lover/Allurance shipper. when she died, and klance didn't become canon (because it was never going to), things got nasty and i will freely admit i am still bitter about it! nothing made me dislike klance faster or more thoroughly than klance fans.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

anyone with a Tony Stark ship, really, though obviously the one I see the most nonsense from is irondad. Tony fans are, 90% of the time, there for Tony, and really focus on him to the exclusion of any of the other characters, including the one that he is partnered/shipped with. as someone who writes for and interacts with irondad because i love both Tony and Peter, who wants to explore them and their extended universes, it fucking sucks to have to wade through post after post that grossly misrepresents or misinterprets Tony, and treats Peter as a prop more than a character.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

having said the above: Tony Stark you will always be famous! none of these people who pretend you're a soft uwu dad who's never done anything wrong could make me hate you, because that's NOT you!

i don't know there are any characters i "hate" per se, but certainly there are ones i will AVOID because the fandom is so terrible. in Spidey, though he's not a Spidey character, that's Harley Keener. i have zero feelings toward his canon character because he was a child and then an easter egg, and basically has no canon character. but i will avoid him at all costs in fic/tumblr tags, because his fans use him to completely supplant and erase actual Spider-Man characters, like Ned and MJ and Flash.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

MJ WATSON WOULD NOT WORSHIP PEPPER POTTS ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

MJ "i want to get a little light protesting in before lunch" Watson, MJ "so really this is all your fault" Watson, MJ "i don't want to tour a building made by slaves" Watson would NOT be falling over herself to talk about how "cool" Pepper Potts is.

fandom loves to drop MJ into interactions with Tony where she's snarky and rude and makes "eat the rich" jokes. but then they'll turn around and also make her look up to Pepper as a girl boss.

and it's because people's aren't representing her as anti-billionaire or anti-establishment as a genuine reflection on her character and how she might behave meeting Tony Stark or Pepper Potts. she's an audience avatar to spout a couple memes and jokes, then is unceremoniously shuffled off stage left so that Tony and Peter can cuddle on the couch or whatever. it's about making Tony look cool and chill for "putting up" with her, and to make Peter embarrassed so that Tony can reassure him.

9. worst part of canon

Far From Home, beloathed. its sins are innumerable but to sum them up in as concise of terms as possible: it represents so much wasted potential. we could have had post-blip meta! we could have had the FOS as more than a joke! we could have had actual development of the petermj relationship! and yes we could have had an actual examination of the impact of Tony Stark and his legacy on Peter and his life!

WE COULD HAVE HAD MAY PARKER

instead we got a kidz bop european road trip movie and only head fakes to anything deeper going on between any of the characters

10. worst part of fanon

here's the thing: the idea of a community of people coming together to collaboratively fill in the blanks of a piece of art is, conceptually, beautiful, and exactly what fandom should be about. doing collaborative, generative creative work is genuinely valuable, and an important part of community building in creative spaces.

but the relationship that people have to fanon, is, frankly, completely fucking whack. modern fandom doesn't use fanon to generate collaborative and creative elaborations, variations, and interpretations of canon: they use it to supplant canon. popular fanon goes beyond being just an idea that a lot of people like; it starts being treated as law. people start interpreting canon through the lens of fanon, and in doing so treat the canonical text not as a work of art that deserves consideration and interpretation, but as a static and authoritative source whose purpose is to be excavated for "proof" of fanon, and anything that exists outside of fanon or in opposition to it is to be dismissed, ignored, and denied.

there are plenty of people who will happily admit they don't pay attention to canon and prefer fanon, and while that isn't my preferred way to engage with art, i have way less of a problem with that. people who engage with the original work through a fanon lens first, in an attempt to "prove" fanon, aren't seeking alternative interpretations or elaborating on the art. they're not even picking and choosing the things they like and the things they don't. what they are doing is working backwards from a foregone conclusion to pretend like art has one fixed, immutable interpretation, and that interpretation is the only correct or acceptable one.

the only proof you need of this tendency is the way people lose their fucking minds when you question popular fanon, or, god forbid, point out how it is directly contradicted or disproven by canon. it's a shitty way to engage with fandom as a community, and it's a shitty way to engage with art, and i have no patience for it.

choose violence ask game

[imptired]

Fionna & Cake (unpopular) opinions

The series had finally ended!! It was so well written. I loved it. I loved all the easter eggs they included. But the fandom gotta fandom so a lot of opinions are around, and here are mine,

1- Marshall Lee and Gary shouldn't have dated so quickly.

It was super obvious they were a fan service (suddenly throwing away everything even though they've just met)

I HATED HOW MONOTONE MARSHALL'S VOICE WAS..... like everyone loves Donald Glover's voice acting already, but the way they kept Marshall's voice so low unlike the og made him purely a fan service imo :(

Not to even mention (i will anyways) how unlike PB Gary was. Marshall, despite being monotone, was at least as Marceline as possible. While Gary was just sweet as a candy and selfless, both which are not PB at all 😭

I honestly think like the og series they're gonna break up and date again after a while. Because in the og, they dated purely because of their admiration of each other and it ended badly because all they admired all they turned out to hate about each other until they realized what they love about each other is simply loving each other, caring a lot. I wish they didn't rush but i hope they at least get to build a romance again?? Not be a fanfiction

2- The ending was AMAZING

I don't generally like endings of series because i place too high of hopes, but this one showed me that's exactly what i was doing wrong. They wanted to live on their own, by their own, and they decided to do so. It showed to the audience that you should get to enjoy what you have instead of whining for more. Fionna spent every second of first episodes whining how her world sucked, only for her to reject any changes that could happen into it. Because she doesn't get to dictate people's lives. She may be a main character, but her world is as alive and conscious as she is.

3- Betty&Simon's closure was perfect.

Throughout the series, even the characters in it claimed what Betty&Simon had was perfect. And it was not. Just like in real life, they're not stereotypical. Betty sacrificed a lot for Simon (her life THREE times[going to find the book, travelling into the future without hesitation to find him a cure&turning into a chaos entity just to make sure he is okay] to begin with) . We have seen Simon hopelessly in love with Betty, but that was it. Simon loved Betty(even when he is about to confront her to say his thoughts, he doesn't say "thank you" or anything, he starts with the "I have been searching for a cure for you, but I couldn't find it.") That is sweet and wonderful and i am not blaming him for anything. Neither did she. Betty, after all the sacrifices, just wanted to be acknowledged. That's it. She had no regrets as she had said, which was a beautiful altogether. I loved them. Simon acknowledging Betty was not Betty being a bitch, but rather Betty getting the closure she deserves as well(honestly, a GREAT written character.). Simon got his closure as well, because he thought he had dedicated himself to Betty, but it was just him destroying his own life. I think they were perfect. Right people, right time.

4- This is Fionna&Cake's series. Not anybody else's.

People were super upset by the lack of cameo's. Even though we got a lot. Finn was in the series because Simon talked to him, and other easter egg's were because Fionna, Cake or Simon interacted with them. Not to mention Simon was there just to help Fionna&Cake, and realizing he should help himself instead of sitting and whining. This is THEIR series. Yes, would love to see more Adult Finn, PB&Marcy, FarmWorld, other worlds etc etc.. but it's not their time. It's not their issue. There were already so many many cameos and easter eggs in the show, and i'm honestly satisfied they bothered to even put so much into it.

The series was done with love&attention. I love Adventure Time. Seriously. But just like the series had showed, the decisions have been made and instead of hating what you have, you should enjoy it. We will most most likely have many more short series regarding the show in the near future, maybe with less Fionna&Cake's world but we, as the audience, got our closure. They're alive, they're happy and they are learning how to enjoy themselves.

The characters are so well written, that i cannot even imagine the writers heads through writing. The work is done with so much love that they basically wrote themselves.

A great, heartwarming and cozy series. Hope to see more in that universe in near future :)

[coldslaws-gear-station]

Here's a few miscellaneous fun facts about the AU because rn it's actually giving me extreme brain rot;

UD Ghetsis' favourite flower is a Hydrangea, it was the first ever flower he ever cultivated. When Alder decided he wanted to challenge himself by raising a bigger plant, Ghetsis gifted him a hydrangea seedling, which grew into gorgeous pink hydrangeas. Though Alder was confused why his were pink and red while Ghetsis' were purple are blue.

Ghetsis himself is actually royalty born, however he was a half blood bastard child. While all of his half siblings were clawing their way into to being in the head seat of the royal clan, he stepped away, forfeiting his right to the throne. Fortunately they all perish mysteriously after their castle was seemingly set ablaze out of nowhere, since he was the only living relative of the family name, he got all of the inheritance. Hense why he's so unbelievably loaded.

Ghetsis' Hydreigon was actually the offspring of his father's Hydreigon that was going to be gifted to his much older half brother, however he refused to take the egg, claiming he could just buy himself a fully evolved dragon and he doesn't want to waste his time raising it. They were simply going to dispose of the egg since he didn't want it but Ghetsis stepped in and offered to raise it. Despite the fact that his father quite literally hated his existence, he gave the egg to him, probably expecting him to die raising it.

After the events of BW and during the events of Alder's healing, he steps down from the league and gifts the position to Drayden. He sees it as an apology for always making his life harder as he always has to deal with the aftermath of when a trainer would lose in the league. He knows he'll set the other Elites straight, he'll do more good with the position than he himself will ever do.

N isn't actually a random child Ghetsis found in the woods, he's actually his biological child. However his mother and Ghetsis' late wife had passed away during child birth, is why Ghetsis went so particularly feral when N was being held captive.

When N was held captive both Colress and Juniper tried to read through all his notes about the dragons to make the dream mist versions as real as possible. However he writes exactly as he talks, too fast, looks like chicken scratch.

N was born intersex (intersex N peak), Anthea is a trans man and one of the Triad's is a trans woman, though all three of them use they/them commonly. Concordia is cis, however he's a raging lesbian, hopeless romantic even. She's exactly like her father, dramatic.

Since the Striaton City triplets aren't actually gym leaders, they work with Ingo and Emmet as mini conductors. Cress guides people to the correct trains, Cilan greets passengers whenever they get on or off the trains, and Chili kicks out rude and brash people being rude to staff. They live in Anville time and you can battle them on Thursdays only.

The brain rot is real, I fear that one day I may be consumed.

- 💌

YES!!! THESE ARE SO GOOD.. all of ghetsis's horrible family conveniently dying in a mysterious fire though hello?? ghetsis. you wanna talk about smth /hj

drayden<3 he deserves it thank you. that's really gotta suck for drayden to have to clean up the mess. dealing with irate and probably distraught trainers. jeez

not sure what it is about ghetsis and having "my wife is dead" vibes. this is like the 3rd or 4th ghetsis ive seen with a dead wife (including my own) hey peepaw you okay. lowkey it's accurate though he really has widower vibes

AGREE WITH NS HAND WRITING. THINKS TOO DAMN FAST TO WRITE GOOD. AND INTERSEX N YEAAHH^!!! i wanna talk more about ns gender on my blogs really bad i just haven't had the opportunity. especially with regards to how ghetsis felt about his "son" not exactly being a boy and how he treated them over it. but intersex n real. also glad to see anthea not being cis is a decently popular interpretation for people who actually write them

shoutout that 1 triad member. woman winning per usual

ALSO!! i love that the triplets get to work at the station bc it works so well. bunch of identical siblings at the subway is hilarious and also the fact that cilan is canonically a huge train nerd in the anime iirc. i bet he's so happy and i love that for him<3<3

let yourself be consumed with brainrot

[disfrutalakia]

Can I pick yor brain to theorize a bit? So Blue won today which means they're leading. If we do a bit of math we can conclude that purgatory will end on the 18th (otherwise they could tie or it will last until the 20th which would be a bit more than 2 weeks). That would mean that if Blue wins two more times they win no matter what. The same way, if Red wins 3 more times they win no matter what.

The problem here is: no one has any concrete evidence for which is the cursed team yet. Some theorize is one, some want to be the other. But no one knows.

The Eye said guess or find out or something like it. But we don't know in what to base it. Should we base our guess in lore, in strength, in suffering, in meta?

The closest anyone got to the real truth was ElQuackity being offered to know in exchange for killing someone that day or he would die. Well, he didn't die so there's that. And he talked to the Eye again after that and didn't mention anything about it. So, did they just ignore that plot point or does ElQuackity know now which team is cursed but the audience doesn't?

You could argue that he wanted Blue and Green to tie BECAUSE he knew which team is cursed. He could either want Blue to lose so the cursed wins OR because he wanted the cursed to lose (since that would doom the eggs too).

ElQuackity has not logged since going to Blue so we can't test this theory well yet.

Or maybe the Eye is lying about the whole thing, which wouldn't be a surprise, and no one is cursed.

If by any God forsaken chance Green was the cursed team... F in chat to our eggs, you will be missed. The Gay Ninjas tried their best. There's no coming back from this one.

One of the tweets also said "May the best egg die". How does that work? What is "best" here based on?

The more I hear the Eye talk the less I fear him. Can't he threaten people better? He showed a video of the eggs running away like two months ago. Show them now you half-baked villain, we've known they ran away since the end of the happy pills arc. Do you actually even have them? Forever could do a stone Richarlyson at his home, you're not impressing anyone with this. Just cause your is bigger and has Pomme's beret it doesn't mean anything. (I hope. F Pomchas.)

Also, once again it begs the never answered question: What WOULD happen if they tied? What will Eye do if they don't do anything all day? Like, sure, if cursed loses is bad but if it's before the last day they didn't lose yet. Just that day (technically).

If we go meta, I think they didn't choose the cursed team yet and may do so only based on the results from the event. But that's boring so let's talk about lore and real fun things like that.

For me, the cursed team being whoever had ElQuackity on them is something that has some kinda of proofs, but at the same time wouldn't make that much sense. Like did the eye know from the beginning who would be the teams? And why would everything fall on ElQuackity? And would that mean that cursed team changed from green to blue? If the curse truly is on the person I mean.

And can I be real? The eye guy SUCKS as a villain, sure he is ominous and can see everything but guess what? So could the feds, and the eye plans are a lot worse than theirs which mean they are horrible cause like, the feds are the guy who sent a single worker on a boat to purgatory!! The eye is not what strikes fear really, it's the islanders minds that do, the ones that keep thinking of the what if, what if they lose? What if they are cursed? What if they never go back? I get what they were trying to do with the eye but it didn't really work, he isn't around enough to really strike fear on us. And like, not that we know a lot about the reasons of why the feds do their stuff, but why the egg hates sinners and eggs so much? Is he god? What is he?

Okay got a bit distracted sorry, the whole "may the best egg die" thing sounded more like just a play on words really, but what if the best one is the one who survives? What if the statues really were connected to the eggs and the ones who weren't killed will be considered the best? Doesn't make a lot of sense but honestly cannot think about other possibilities for that choice of words.

The tie also makes me confuses, when it was said they would all die, did they mean everyone including red? Or if not, would everyone just be sent to red and they would win by default?

I'm a believer that there isn't a cursed team really, that it's mostly a mind game from the egg part to see how low the islander can go, to see them running around like rats trying to survive while also hunting each other like wolves, because there are no clues for the players really, like we as an audience can have our theories based on millions of povs, but what about the islanders? they can't do that.

I would like there to be clue drops over the next days since we are so close to the end but, I don't think it will be the case really. I think the curse team doesn't exist and this will be revealed at the end.