#which makes me very ;-; bc ! people like it!!!!

[merlucide]

BLLK TEAM SPOTTING YOU IN THE CROWD!

notes: hahahahehajajsj I’m SO excited for this guys- the new episode had me TWEAKING.

characters: Isagi, Rin, Bachira, Chigiri, Nagi, Karasu, Otoya, Yukimiya, Niko, Gagamaru, Aryu, Reo, Barou, Hiori, Shidou

warnings: reading the same thing over again but in a different font LMAO, cringe but WHO gaf??, y/n glazing (help😭💀)

You and your friend managed to snag close seats for the Blue Lock vs. U-20 match, and you could BARELY contain your excitement!!—especially because your beloved boyfriend was playing. You both were decked out in all blue, sticking out from the white and red crowd. The odds were stacked against him and his team, but you had complete confidence that they would hold their own. As you settled into your seats, the teams made their way onto the field. The moment you spotted your boyfriend, you and your friend screamed your heads off, cheering as loud as you could. The game was going great so far; at halftime, the score was 2-1, with Blue Lock in the lead! The players were standing around on the field, catching their breath, when he finally spotted you in the crowd, screaming + waving your arms wildly.

ISAGI YOICHI

He’s like ehh?!? You came?!? To watch him?!? For reals?!

Gets all touched lmao 😭

Waves back with a big ol smile :3

Means a lot because you cheered for him when he was nobody 🥹 AND now he’s playing against THE U-20 aaaa

Yells ‘HIIIII’

-Bachira wiggles his eyebrows at him 😏 -which makes him all blushy and pushes him off him lol

Que bachira going ‘ooooooo isagi’s gotta s/ooooooo 🤭😏’

So embarrassed hehe

Blows you a little kiss when nobody’s looking tho :3

RIN ITOSHI

He didn’t think you’d come tbh

Feels proud that you did tho! not that he’d let you know ofc

He gave you a little wave and called it good (he has to remain mysterious- especially in front of Sae!!)

He’s very conflicted if he’s glad you came or if wishes you didn’t lmao 💀

Bc when he heard ‘Woah- They’re cute’ from his teammates he snapped his head over

“They’re taken, back off scum.” He’ll snap

Everyone’s sorta like ?? RIN PULLED SOMEONE?? 

Que immediate questioning

‘HOW DID YOU GET A S/O BEFORE I DID?!’ ‘I feel bad for them..’ ‘DID YOU PAY THEM??’

He just tells them to shut up

smirking inside, heh

BACHIRA MEGURU

He’s like 😦-> 🤩

inside he’s like ‘OHMYGOSHTHEYCAMEEEEEEE! :D’

Screams your name jumping and waving his arms

‘Y/NNNNNNN ARE YOU WATCHING ME?!? Y/NNNNNNNN!!’

‘YEAAAAAAAAAH!! YOU LOOKED SO COOOOOOOOL!!’

You def go with his mom tho 😌

You and Yuu are screaming your heads off together- ‘GOOO !! YOU GOT THIS!!!’ ‘GET THE FREAKIN’ BALL MEGURU!! HES OPEN- GOOOOO!!!’

Shes very glad you’re supportive of her son 🥹<3 (live laugh love yuu)

He points to you and says to his friends ‘THATS MY S/O!!! :D’

and they’re just like ‘..cool buddy’

They’re trying to figure out how he pulled someone lmao

After the match he practically jumps on you lol- No sorry, he literally does and you both crash on the floor

Both of you are just rolling around screaming in excitement lol

CHIGIRI HYOMA

So embarrassed lol

Like ‘My family AND my s/o came?!” Help he appreciates yall coming but it flusters him!!

Especially when his teammates are making comments about YOU and his SISTER

it’s too much for him 🙂‍↕️

He made it real clear that he’s your bf tho, so no one gets ideas!!

Really happy you came though, especially since you were one of the most encouraging people when he tore his ACL <3

NAGI SEISHIRO

Didn’t even think you’d come- like the thought that you would come didn’t even cross his mind (go figure)

‘Oh, y/n’s here, cool’

Lazily waves back

Wants to tell Reo you’re here but remembered that they broke up  🙂‍↕️

Yuki goes up to him and asks ‘Oh who’s that?’ and he’s just like ‘It’s y/n’

‘..I see, who is y/n?’ ‘uh, I don’t remember..🧍‍♀️’

‘Someone important tho,’

Just sorta stares at you until the whistle blows lmao 😭

KARASU TABITO

Super proud n smug :)

Like ‘Heh, MY s/o came’

Super super happy you’re there omg, but ofc he can’t let that show too much 😌

Waves back ofc

He looks at all his teammates to make sure they’re seeing this

It makes him feel really special that you came to watch HIM play :)

Def a confidence booster

Gets a annoyed bc he knows you spent a shit ton of money for this lmao

🐝:’oooo who’s that Karasu-kun?’ 

🐦‍⬛: ‘Heh, that’s my s/o 😏’

🐝: ‘For realsies? :o’

🐦‍⬛: ‘Yup 😌’

🥷:He’s such a simp bro’

🐦‍⬛:’Shut up Otoya.’

OTOYA EITA

He’s low key tweaking on the inside tbh

gives you the frat boy ‘nod’ and the three finger wave 💀

Doesn’t even wait for anyone to ask about you he’s already going

‘Yeah that hot chick/person is my s/o, it’s aight’ to be jealous’

But they’re just like ?? How tf did YOU pull anybody bro??

Poses for you LMAO

Is def waiting for you to make an edit of him or smth 😐

Your friend is looking at you like ‘seriously, him?~_~’ I am that friend.

Will NAWT shut up about how his hella hot s/o came to his game

YUKIMIYA KENYU

He’s like ‘Oh! They’re here?! Really?’ :3

Calls your name and gives a big wave

Super happy and proud that you came :)

Laughs a bit at the your dramatic outfits but appreciates it!

Tells the nearest person who you are and a bit about cha’ :3

When you blow him kisses he catches em’ and cradles them to his heart >:)

got a side eye from Nagi lol

NIKO IKKI

SOOOO flustered lmao

pink cheeks n everything ><

whispers a ‘hi’ and waves a little wave back

Super duper excited n happy you came :3

Wants to impress you so bad now- lol

Really hope no one sees you bc he might just die if he gets teased

-which of course they do and what he feared happens lmao

ARYU JINBEI

a very stylish single tear falls from his eye

‘Oh dearest y/n, you are so glam for this, I cannot even..!’

Dramatically flares his arms as a ‘wave’ and sings your name

‘Y/NNNNNNNNNN!- are you ready for this historic momennnnnnt-‘

Poses elegantly for you, talking to himself about how styl this is

GAGAMARU GIN

Squinting like ‘Is that y/n’ - o -

then eyes wide like ‘It is y/n’ • o •

Jumps up and hits his head on the goal 💀 then proceeds to jump again

Waves both arms and yells really slowly ‘CAAAAAN YOUUUU SEEEEE MEEEEEE?’

Then proceeds to talk to you yelling his lungs out, he stopped when Karasu told him ‘shut up, they can’t hear ya’’

He stopped for a brief moment, then continued

 (after they get on field)

REO MIKAGE

SO happy. Like ‘🥹😁’ happy

Smiling the BIGGEST smile :)

Really, really appreciates you coming

Especially since you were literally the only other person aside from Ba-Ya that supported his dream

And! Speaking of Ba-Ya she was beside you in her usual attire, waving a little blue flag

Waves to you with both hands😌

Also blows you so many kisses ofc 

Afterwards he’s going to give you the biggest hug and the FASTEST smooch ever

BAROU SHOEI

He was hoping you’d come, he wanted you to see just how much more he’s improved 😌

He heard your cheers and screams when he came into field and that also fueled into his desire to crush Isagi >:3 like ‘heh, bet’

You were VERY happy with how he celebrated his goal 😏🤭 you spammed your camera lmao

Waves back at you ofc, he is a gentleman after all

When someone asks who are you he just says ‘My partner, y/n. Don’t get any ideas donkey.’

heh, 😏

Really appreciates you coming :) especially with how expensive tickets are oml

def forced you to let him pay you back lmao

HIORI YO

He knew his parents would be there, but he wasn’t sure if you’d come. Very pleased you did! :)

Chuckles + rolls his eyes at your outfits

He’s got a cute little smile on his face :3

Waves back at you and signs you ‘thanks’

Points you out as ‘y/n, my sweet s/o’ to Isagi

Brags to him too lmao

Like ‘Yeah, they’re like perfect in every way- but you’ll find someone who is pretty decent though, don’t worry ☺️’

SHIDOU RYUSEI (my man will always be included soo)

Lets out the goofiest, happiest laugh

points at you with two hands and yells

So pumped you came omg

‘SAE- SAE LOOK! THATS MY BABY! THE ONE I WAS TELLN’ YOU ABOUT!’ ‘I don’t care.’

Continues to yell out you asking ‘DID I LOOK COOL?’ or ‘DID YOU FREAKN SEE THAT?’

Blows you tons of kisses before he has to start again

everyone on the bllk team is genuinely confused how tf this guy pulled anyone and is concerned for you and your mental health 💀

AHHAJSJEJES IM SO EXCITED BROOOOO

made Nov 9 2024

[jasminelee324]

you lately.”> not him keeping tabs on thingsthe way you kiss back that makes this all so very wrong. >im sorry to say it but its offical. Yn aint it.or ig did is just confused down BADDD..there is NO way everyone comes out of this unscathed.

You like having these two men want you.> well ig this is why people cheat

Fr hows this dif from Chos drunken near cheating before. Ig bc her and Go arent official? Messyyyyy.

All I think about is you, you, you, you. It’s killing me.”>sir just say u like her like her bc rn yn is oblivious as possible

You glare at me like you hate me and then kiss me like you love me so, tell me, which is it?”>>i hate you i love you by gnash was not ready for this trio

whenever he doesn’t give you any, right?”>oh bro is really hurt

Then, he narrows his eyes skeptically, “You… do?”>>this man is going to be an absolute MENACE to society at this party AND in front of Go tooooo😭😭😭😭😭

Here's to everything coming to a head and I can't wait

˗ˏˋ My Love Note ´ˎ˗

9 | four stupid letters?

❧ Synopsis | In which Choso Kamo, your asshole of a best friend, starts to change after you get involved with a rather cheeky cashier, Gojo Satoru.

❧ Content | language, heavy sexual tension, a tinge of angst (?), a needy Choso, etc.

❧ Word Count | 4.8k

❧ Pairings | Choso Kamo x f!reader & Gojo Satoru x f!reader.

| Chapters mlist |

——Given that you weren’t the biggest fan of lying to Gojo about your sexual encounters with Choso, you took that one conversation you had with him as a sign. Under no circumstances would you let Choso have his way with you again. Hell, after that conversation, you’re not sure if you even wanted Choso to touch you again.

Now that’s a lot easier said than done but you eventually manage. And by eventually, it’s meant that all it took was a single night of rest for you to wake up the next day and come to your senses.

It was Saturday, which meant that later that night, the Halloween party you’d been invited to would be taking place and you’d be going with Gojo. As such, you woke up rather early and assumed the entire day would go by rather smoothly with little to no surprises.

Unfortunately for you, the day was full of surprises. 

· ───────── · ꨄ · ───────── ·

After you prepared yourself for the day, the first thing you did was head to your shared kitchen like always. Since it was so early, you weren’t surprised to find the kitchen empty and the space void of a particularly tattooed man.

The kitchen was relatively clean, safe for the sink full of used glasses and utensils that you noticed as you rounded the island in the middle of the space. Which was just perfect seeing as the only thing you came into the kitchen for was to fix yourself a glass of cold water. Releasing a long sigh as you contemplated washing one cup, you end up scoffing to yourself at the used glasses in the sink and turning for the cabinet.

Now, the kitchen is quiet and still, the only sounds coming from your footsteps as you move around and the shift in the air as you swing the upper cabinet open in search of an unused cup. A yawn leaves your lips while your eyes lazily scan the cabinet space, finding that the only glasses available to you are the ones your stupidly tall roommate decided to place all the way on the highest shelf.

Now you were left with two small decisions; turn back and wash a glass, or strain yourself trying to reach a new one. Seeing as the latter takes less labor, you end up pushing up on your toes and extending your arm up, placing your free hand on the counter to balance yourself as you reach for the glass on the top shelf and closest to the edge.

You take a deep breath as your fingertips graze the cold glass, a sigh escaping your lips at the amount of effort this small task is taking, up until your middle finger grazes the side more firmly and you’re almost sure you’re able to maneuver the glass down. Struggling with that for about a minute longer, you’re soon startled by a very warm presence right behind you.

You could feel the hairs on the back of your neck standing up, a waft of mind-numbing cologne wrapping around your stretched frame and sneaking into your nose, and a firm body pressing into your backside as a larger arm reaches past yours and swiftly swipes that targeted glass up from the top shelf. 

You don’t even get the chance to turn your head back and say anything because the glass you’d been reaching for is making its way down and you’re feeling someone’s warm breath at the crown of your ear.

“Mornin’,” Is all Choso purrs in that groggy rich voice of his, tone dripping with a deepness that immediately gives you butterflies and makes your back stiffen up.

Then there’s a hand at your waist and you finally flinch at his presence. It’d been so damn tranquil in the kitchen just moments ago, the room cold and calm before Choso miraculously appeared behind you, making all the lack of warmth in the air null and void as your body went rigid and your heart rate spiked.

“M-Morning Cho,” You end up stammering, letting out a long exhale as you ease down off of your toes, your backside pressing back against Choso a bit more now. 

A small hum of acknowledgment leaves his throat and you swear all thoughts of distancing yourself from this man fly entirely out the window at that very moment. Choso brings the glass down completely and places it to the side, leaving space on the counter in front of you. Your eyes simply watch the movement of his hand, unconsciously studying the way his fingers curl around the glass, admiring those scuffs and scratches decorating his skin, and-

“You alright?” Choso rasps beside your ear, making you flinch yet again, “You’re staring at my hands.” He points out bluntly.

Your lashes bat and you shake yourself out of your stupor, turning your head slightly so that you can look him in the eyes. His gaze is low-lidded and met with yours rather quickly, long dark hair loosely framing his face as you take in his naturally sleepy expression.

You gulp, “I’m fine, sorry. You jus’ scared me, that’s all.”

Choso merely tips his head further to the side, eyes narrowing at you before they openly drop down to your lips, “My bad,” He hums rather softly. Then, you catch the way the corner of his lips begins to lift, “I was actually watchin’ you for a minute or two, y’know. I wasn’t gonna come help you at first.”

“What made you change your mind?” You scoff as you raise a brow at the man.

Both of his hands suddenly find their place on your waist and you drop your gaze down immediately, “The thought of me behind you like this,” Choso whispers, bringing his lower lip into his mouth for a moment as he gently pulls your body back to be flush against his. 

Your ass is quickly met with his cock straining slightly against the fabric of his sweatpants. You gasp, “Cho-”

“Fuck,” He curses under his breath, lips brushing over yours with how close your face was to his, “You torture me, y’know..” Choso suddenly tells you.

His hips draw back slightly and just as you go to respond, he rolls them forward against you softly, “No, I d-don’t,” You utter breathily, caught off guard by the way he suddenly rubs against you as if he were in heat or something.

Your best friend then cracks a lazy smile, “Yeah ya’ do, you can feel what you do t’me,” He explains while pushing his hips forward firmly, causing you to press against the counter as your body is sandwiched between it and his hips. 

After that, the two of you are quiet for a moment and you can feel yourself getting worked up. Choso stares at your lips hungrily like every second without his atop them is killing him on the inside, all as he rocks his hips forward against your ass a few times, leaving you a bit breathy while you keep your eyes on him.

Then, Choso’s lifting a hand up to your throat and tilting his head further, “Look at you,” He hushes out, “You want it jus’ as badly as I do.”

That seems to break you out of your little daze, “Choso, I told you before… I-I don’t wanna have sex with you again.”

He groans and you swear you hear the faintest whine slipping past his lips at the sound of your rejection, “I know what you told me,” He huffs out, “But, are you sure?” As those words leave his lips, his crotch is flush with your rear again and you can feel every inch of him twitching for you. 

A sliver of chills slip up your spine and your voice is contrastingly needy, “I’m positive, Cho.”

Choso scoffs, “You don’t sound positive.”

And this is exactly why stopping whatever it is you started with Choso is damn there impossible. Ever since you had sex with him, he’s always like this with you. The unfortunate thing for you is how damn smooth he is with it, it’s not like he makes his intentions painstakingly obvious at first, he just eases into things and it makes your mind go blank every single time.

It always ends up like this with him. Even a few days ago, you went from watching some show with him like you always do to being pinned down on the couch beneath him, panting into his mouth as he ground his aching cock down against you between the layers of your clothes. It didn’t go any farther than that since you knew how to wiggle your way out of those kinds of situations but you can hardly even explain how you ended up in those positions in the first place.

Just like now for example, where Choso’s eagerly rubbing himself against you, whispering to you about how badly he wants you up until the cold sound of your voice makes him freeze against you.

“Choso,” You eventually say, “Stop,” The moment that word leaves your lips, he freezes without question, “How many times do I have to tell you this, huh? I’m not sleeping with you again.”

He’s completely motionless for a moment, letting your words sink into his brain and allowing his disappointment to run throughout his body. Then, he lets out a long sigh and moves his hands. Though, he doesn’t remove his hands from you, no. Instead, your best friend wraps his arms around your waist and his face drops into the crook of your neck, making you jump in slight surprise as he hugs you from behind.

Choso is still very warm behind you but you’ll take this needy hug of his over him humping you like some dog in heat any day because-

“You don’t get it, do you?” Choso whispers against your skin. His lips are slow to glide along your neck, a firm hum of your name leaving his mouth as his voice seems to break with every syllable that leaves him, “I want you so bad.”

Again, you’re left freezing to both his words and his touch, your heart feeling heavy as it sinks a bit within your chest. 

Choso kisses all up and down your neck, “All of you,” He continues gently in a low tone while his fingers slip under your shirt, “I don’t know what the hell you did to me but…” He slides over to kiss your shoulder, “I really need to feel you again.”

You let out a shaky little chuckle, trying to make light of his lustful confession, “Looks like I’ve got you whipped, huh?” You tease.

He grins against your skin, “Oh fuck you.”

Smiling, you suppress another laugh, “You really really want to, don’t you?”

Your best friend sighs heavily and you feel his hands begin to slide up. They stop right under your breasts and you notice he seems to be waiting for you to protest. When you do nothing but let out another soft breath of air, he licks a long stipe along your neck and his hands cup your chest fully.

Then he’s in your ear again, “Yeah,” Choso grunts, lightly fondling your breasts in a way that makes you sigh again, “Yeah, I do. I thought I made that clear, no? What part of ‘I want all of you’ didn’t you get, hm?” His fingers shift and he gives your nipples a slight pinch, pressing his lips further against your ear, “Do I need to be more direct than that? Would you rather me to tell you how I want to bend you over this countertop and fuck you til’ you can’t think of anything or anyone else but me? Huh?”

For a second, a really quick second, you almost considered throwing all of your morals out the window and letting him do exactly that. He already had his erection pressed against your ass, his hands were massaging your tits in a way that made you pure putty in his hold, and that stupidly deep voice of his in your ear did not fail to make you shamefully aroused.

“Choso…” You mumble, to which his touch grows softer and he lightly nips at your ear, “We can’t.” Your voice is firmer than it was before and you think he finally gets the hint.

You’re quickly proven wrong when Choso shamelessly whines, “But why? Hm? I’ll stop, y’know I will but, jus’ tell me why.”

Your head tips back against him and your eyes lift to the ceiling as his fingers curve against your breasts and continue to massage each mound in his hand, “You know why… I just can’t, okay?” You sigh.

At that, he seems to finally get it. Although, even if he didn’t, he would’ve stopped either way. His touch is slow to slip off of you and you feel a gush of cold air wrap around your body as he pulls himself away from you entirely, turning to further himself into the kitchen. 

You move to fix your shirt a bit, taking a deep breath to collect yourself and then glancing over to him as he makes his way toward the fridge.

Choso lets out a dramatic groan as he swings the refrigerator open and you watch him bring a hand up to scratch the back of his head, “Y’know, you’re awfully loyal to someone you’re not even in a relationship with,” He points out casually.

Your eyes roll at that and you scoff, “Letting you touch me and kiss me does not make me loyal to him.”

Since his back is facing you, you’re unable to see the way your words make him crack an irritated little grin, “Riight, but that’s as far as we can go because that’s so much better than us havin’ sex,” He utters sarcastically, not even giving you a moment to respond to that before he’s speaking again, “But, hey, I’m not gonna force you to do anything with me. Jus’ doesn’t make much sense, y’know? It’s like… what’s he got that I don’t?”

Okay, maybe you’re perceiving things wrong but, if you didn’t know any better—it almost sounded like Choso was… jealous?

Which throws you all the way off because, Choso, jealous? Of what? Gojo? It sounded bizarre just to think about. Hell, so bizarre that it almost made you laugh. 

Your moment of processing his question makes the man impatient, to which he glances back over his shoulder at you and cocks an eyebrow, “Hm?”

You snap away from your thoughts and shrug, “He actually likes me as a person and not just for my body.”

Choso deadpans at that statement. You could not be serious right now. “What?” Choso scoffs, his face twisting up into a slight scowl, “I’m sorry, did I miss a few chapters? Since when has our friendship been based or built on me yearning for your body?”

Your words seem to have flown entirely over his head, “That’s not what I’m saying Choso.”

“Then what are you sayin’? Cause’ last time I checked,” He suddenly shuts the fridge and turns around to face you, “Gojo’s been trying to do nothing but fuck you lately.”

His statement makes you frown, “No he hasn’t…”

“Yeah? He hasn’t?” Choso scoffs at your obliviousness, “You think he’ll still wanna be around you after he gets what he wants?”

“Of course he will! Satoru’s not like that-,” As soon as those words leave your lips, you’re receiving a phone call from the man in question, “See? Look, he’s even calling me right now.”

It’s like Choso is rendered paralyzed at the sight of you pulling your phone out of your pocket to answer that incoming call. He’s stuck in a trance watching the way you answer and bringing the phone to your ear, flashing a smile at whatever Gojo had said to you already. 

Just like that, all your attention was stripped away from him and he couldn’t believe it. Whatever you were saying went entirely through one ear and out the other because before Choso even realized it, his feet were moving on their own and he was making his way back over to you. Once he stood right in front of you again, you still kept that same smile on your face as you listened to Gojo on the other end but your gaze traveled up to Choso.

Though, your eyes didn’t need to travel too far up because Choso was leaning down to you. Luckily Gojo was doing that thing where he rambles on and on about something without expecting anyone to reply until he’s finished so, the way you go quiet isn’t noticed. Choso leans in close and tilts his head opposite of yours, taking your jaw into his hand and tipping your head up firmly.

He doesn’t do anything but stare at you for a second, to which you soon realize he’s actually trying to hear what Gojo’s saying to you.

“—and then Suguru was telling me about the last party that was hosted by her, the one I didn’t go to, and apparently-,” The sound of Gojo’s storytelling is scoffed at by the man all too close to you right now. A scoff that could’ve even been heard by Gojo if he’d shut up for just a second.

Then Choso focuses back onto you and you could tell by the way his eyes lowered onto yours. “I wonder…” Choso whispers very softly, warm breath fanning over your lips. “I wonder how he’d feel knowing you let me do stuff like this to you,” As his statement comes to an end, his lips are steady to melt onto yours.

And so there you are—on the phone with Gojo Satoru as your best friend Choso Kamo kisses you. The bad thing about this wasn’t even the kiss itself or the fact that Gojo was on the line. It’s the way you let it happen, the way you continue it, the way you kiss back that makes this all so very wrong. 

Choso’s gentle against your lips, intentionally moving slowly so that his mouth makes no noise sliding over yours. Gojo’s clueless as he talks and talks (practically to himself at this point) and your best friend tightens his grip on your jaw. You cannot explain why exactly you let Choso kiss you or why you’re even kissing him back right now but either way, one could argue that you actually like this.

You like having these two men want you. This rush of adrenaline that spikes throughout your body as Choso slips his tongue past your welcoming lips almost makes you dizzy. You push against Choso with need and he quickly smiles into the kiss, holding back a laugh at how easy you make things for him.

When his lips detach from yours with a very faint but wet smack, he’s staring deeply into your eyes. Again with a hushed tone so that his voice isn’t picked up by your phone, “Did it mean anything to you?” Choso mumbles.

Your brows twist up and Gojo’s voice is steadily fading out your ears as your attention shifts.

Your best friend pecks your lips again, “That night we had together… Did it mean anything to ya’?” He murmurs, lips moving to say something further but his tone is so soft that you hardly hear what he says. “Do I mean anything to you anymore? Or am I jus’ your friend now?”

You can feel the way your heart churns at that. Your lashes bat and you open your mouth to say something but what comes out makes Choso roll his eyes. “Satoru,” You utter surprisingly, causing the man on the phone to stop mid-sentence with a hum. “Give me uh, one second-“

Choso sees the way you’re only about to mute the phone and out of spite, or maybe jealousy, or some sort of dislike for the guy, he swipes your phone out of your hand and ends the call. Your eyes go all wide and you want to yell at him for that but he doesn’t give you a chance. Your phone is tossed onto the counter behind you and within a second, you’re being lifted up onto that same space.

“Cho-“ You just barely gasp before he’s crashing his lips into yours yet again.

He’s a bit more aggressive now, kissing you like his life depends on it and like he won’t get an opportunity like this again. Then he’s dropping his hands to your thighs and tugging your body to be flush with his, letting you feel the way he’s still hard after all this time, if not harder.

Choso nibbles on your lower lip, tugs at it, sucks on it, shoves his tongue back into your mouth—anything you can think of, he was doing at the moment. You could hear your phone buzzing behind you but when you tried to messily reach back and grab it, Choso moved a hand to yours and pinned your fingers down against the counter. You let out a whine against him and his mind just blanks at that.

His cock was twitching like crazy against your cunt and you were losing your breath by the second. Gasping, “Choso please-,” in between kisses only to be ignored until he feels like prying himself away for longer than one second.

Choso’s panting by that point and the look in his eyes is simply starved. “Answer me,” He huffs out in a demanding tone.

You’ve got this unintentional pout on your face that makes him want to kiss you all over again but he ignores it for the sake of his sanity. “A-Answer what?” You breathe back.

“My question, princess,” He whispers against your lips, “Did that night mean anything to you or not?”

All dazed and confused, your lips are lagging behind in voicing how you feel right now. “I…” Your brows twist up a little, “I don’t know Cho… I just-“

His eyes are so possessive that you can feel yourself shrinking beneath that gaze of his, “Do you not feel that?” He asks.

You blink, “Feel what??”

“This,” Choso purrs with a slow grind of his hips forward. Then he’s dropping his head to the crook of your neck and breathing hotly against you, “Can’t you see you’re driving me insane? If that night didn’t mean anything to you, that’s fine, I don’t give a shit. But come on now, it can’t be just me.”

You’re quiet for a moment after that, allowing his words to soak up into the tensed atmosphere. The only sound is the mixed panting from you two and the continuous buzz of your phone. There’s a beat of silence once your phone goes still and you let out a long sigh.

You couldn’t wrap your mind around what the hell is up with Choso today even if you tried, “What do you mean?”

“I can’t get you outta my fuckin’ head,” He hums, “All I think about is you, you, you, you. It’s killing me.”

It’s almost comical to you at this point—trying to imagine Choso being this clingy after one night with you is rather difficult. So, you roll your eyes and your words leave you softly, “You’re just… saying that.”

“This ain’t proof enough?” He continues, leaving a trail of mushy little kisses down the side of your neck, “What other way do I have to say this—I want you.”

“No, you wanna fuck me,” You correct, “There’s a difference-“

Choso shrugs, “I don’t see why there has to be.”

“Because-“

You’re cut off by your phone starting back up with its buzzing. 

“Because what? Ignore that guy for ten fuckin’ seconds, please. Just give me your attention,” Choso pleads as he lifts his head and flashes you with these desperate puppy-dog-like eyes. “Only me. Think about only me for jus’ a second, that’s all I ask.”

You gulp at this sudden change in demeanor, “Choso what’s wrong with you? I know we had sex but c’mon, you’re acting crazy.”

“I’m acting crazy? You kiss me back while you’re on the phone with your ‘crush’ but I’m the one actin’ crazy?” His questions almost come off as harsh but his tone is nothing but tender, “You let me do all this to you but I’m the crazy one??”

A huff slips past you, “Yes! Do you not hear yourself right now?”

He scoffs, “I do. But do you not see yourself right now? Do you not realize the things you do? You say you don’t want me and that you want this to stop but then you do the exact fucking opposite. You glare at me like you hate me and then kiss me like you love me so, tell me, which is it?”

Yet another beat of silence passes as you just gape at him with this dumbfounded look. It’s so odd with Choso, one moment you’re making out with him and then the next it’s whatever the hell this is right now.

All you’re left to react with is a lost mumble of, “What?”

“…Y'know what, fuck it.” Choso lets out yet another scoff and shakes his head. “I don’t even care anymore,” He claims while his hands lift into the air as if he were admitting defeat.

By this point, it’s not even clear whether or not you’re the one being complicated or him. Well, maybe it is clear, just not to you at this moment…

“Choso..” You start off again as you reach a hand out to pull him back toward you.

He avoids your touch entirely and takes a step back, “What?”

“I don’t know what I want,” You explain, “I… I know I like Satoru but-,”

“Yeah, that’s pretty fuckin obvious.” He utters under his breath.

You take that snarky comment of his lightly, “But… I don’t know about you..”

He shrugs, “I mean at this point, what about me? I’m jus’ your best friend that you run to for dick whenever he doesn’t give you any, right?”

Perplexity takes over your features, “W-What? No, I-“

“It’s okay, really,” Anyone with ears could hear from his tone alone that things were far from okay. “I told you I don’t care anymore,” He repeats before shrugging it all off again.

The only thing you can manage to respond with is another, “Choso, please.”

He nods his chin toward your phone, “Call your boyfriend back before he shows up here unannounced again.” Then, he turns away and makes his way out of the kitchen.

“Wait-“

“Oh,” Pausing once he’s just out of the area, “You texted me last night about askin’ me something, what was it?”

“Don’t just change the subject Cho,” You plead with a look of sympathy, “I’m trying to say that-“

“I don’t care,” He cuts off crisply, almost meanly. “What were you gonna ask me?”

You hate it when he does this. It irks you on an entirely deeper level than what you’re showcasing at the moment but, you’ve been down similar roads like this with Choso before and no matter how much you push the subject—once he’s dropped it or moved on, you can forget getting any sort of response from him about it.

So, you slowly look away from him and mumble out that question of yours. “…Do you wanna come to Hori’s Halloween party tomorrow...?”

“Oh, that? She texted me about that a few days ago, but uh..” He moves a hand to scratch the back of his neck in thought, “You know I don’t do parties so, why’re you askin’?”

The air feels slightly lighter now. “She seemed to really like you and asked me to convince you to come so… y’know,” You shrug.

Choso nods, “Oh. Well, I’ll go if you want me to.”

Your eyes carefully dance back over to him and you think about that for a second. You and Choso don’t go to parties together often, you two don’t exactly have the best history with partying together but… Hori seemed like a sweet girl so getting Choso to come would be nice of you, right? Even if that requires making him go for you.

“I do,” You tell him, watching the way his face lights up ever so slightly.

Then, he narrows his eyes skeptically, “You… do?”

“Mhm.”

Choso looks at you for a few seconds longer before nodding in agreement. “Alright then,” He says, turning to head toward his room, “Jus’ remember that.”

“Remember what?” You ask.

Looking back over his shoulder, “I’m only going for you.” Is the last thing he says to you before finally making his full exit off into his bedroom.

mlist | last chapter | next chapter |

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[vaspider]

So, something happened last night that has been sitting heavily on my heart ever since. I'm not naming names for a reason, so don't ask. This is a clear example of something that's happened with increasing regularity.

When the Amsterdam attacks started happening last night, the first thing I thought of was a pair of my friends who had within the last 48h - I thought - been in Amsterdam to get married. (I got the place they traveled to wrong, bc it was late and I was tired, but that's not the point.) These friends are a Black frum Czech lesbian & her new wife, an in-progress convert who's seriously ill. I shared the CNN link on it & spoke with friends on a very small Discord server about how terrified I was that my friends had (again, I thought) narrowly missed being in the city while Jews were being advised to stay inside and, if they had to go out, to remove any visible symbols of their Jewishness.

Here's where I reach up and underline the word frum in that previous paragraph. Got it? Asking that friend to remove her visible signs of being Jewish is like asking her to go outside naked.

And here's the thing that's gonna stick with me for a long time: someone that I used to consider a longtime friend, who rarely, if ever, spoke on that server, popped up almost 4 hours after I was talking about how much this scared me about the relative safety of my friends to share a tweet containing the phrase Judeo-Nazis in order to contradict the CNN article and bring up what she apparently thought was the important part of the story:

"The Israelis started it," according to her & her "Judeo-Nazis" source.

That was what she thought was important to that story. Not that random fucking Jews are getting attacked on the streets of Amsterdam, not that I was relieved that my friends weren't in danger while still dealing with the fear and the shock of feeling they had been so close to it, but that I had to know, right away, that contrary to what CNN (and every other major news outlet talking about it) was reporting, this random person on Twitter referring to Israelis at a fucking soccer game and random visibly Jewish people of any nationality on the street in Amsterdam as Judeo-Nazis said that the Israelis fucking started it.

And like, no, they fucking didn't, but in context, the context in which I was speaking in a small group about my fear for two friends who weren't at the fucking soccer match but who I thought might be close to the danger, does that fucking matter? What does that have to do with "fuck, I think my friends were just there"?

Nothing. And yet - for some reason - that's the first thing that needed to be addressed in this person's mind.

A lot of Jews find our circles shrinking these days. Antisemitism is on the rise, and if we're not experiencing the direct slap in the face of people we thought were friends prioritizing "you know, the Jews started it" over anything else, we're watching people we thought better of make excuses for it, or tell us that we should gladly accept "our share" of the blame for the actions of a foreign government. (Yes, that has been said to me directly, recently.)

If I weren't so fucking stubborn, I would fold into myself & just keep company with the few and the trusted, a circle that gets smaller and smaller every day. But... I'm stubborn as hell. Maybe that'll fuck me over someday worse than it already has, I dunno.

I don't have a pithy closing for this. I'm just sad. It hurts to watch people that I used to trust vomit up shit like that tweet. It hurts that it's getting worse.

[mythalism]

more me verbally processing my feelings on this game and it's story that i sent in discord but i know reading these things can be helpful to others processing so im sharing them here <3

even though i think i personally am able to find coherent meaning in solas's ending, specifically the status of the veil, and i do think its good and i like it, i really have to work to do it. the way its written is kind of confusing because the message is like ok. let go of your regrets. but you also have to atone for your mistakes. but solas believes he is atoning by taking the veil back down and bringing immortality back and making sure more spirits are not turned into demons? but the story tells us that version of atonement is Wrong, but why is it wrong? because people will die? but people also die because of the veil? mages are mass incarcerated and lobotimized bc of the veil, elves have been enslaved for millenia, PEOPLE AGE AND DIE, BECAUSE OF THE VEIL? so he isnt supposed to atone for that mistake by fixing it he's just supposed to accept it and let go? so are we supposed to atone for our mistakes or not? what determines whether or not we need to atone? he has to atone for what he did to the titans but not what he did by accident to his own people i guess? and he is going to atone by maintaining the status quo that he created because people have gotten used to it?

i think the answer based on the regret prison scene with rook escaping with varric's help and that banger line of varric's is to take accountability and own up to your choices, they are yours and no one can take them from you. rook says something to one of the regret statues (for me it was harding) thats like "i made a choice and so did you and you knew the risks" or something so i think that is the key. solas cannot accept his choices and so he is desperate to undo them no matter what kind of harm it may do. he is trapped in regret and the past to the point that he cant accept them and move forward, and varric is the perfect contrast of this with how readily he accepts his death as a consequence of his love and hope for his friend. even mythal accepts her own choices when she tells solas that she turned him from his purpose. and she doesnt apologize or even express regret at all, partly because shes a crazy bitch (affectionate) but partly because i think her quiet, cold acceptance is part of the lesson solas needs to learn in that moment. solas is constantly saying, "im sorry, but", "ir abelas, vhenan, but i cannot". mythal just states her actions plainly; i forced you to take a body, i brought you into war, these burdens are ours to bear together, i release you. no apology, no rumination, she is at peace with her decision even though it is wrong. i think this works wonderfully on a personal individual level of personal regrets. it is a good lesson; regret does not serve any purpose other than to hurt you. it brings no one back, it helps nothing, it does not make the world a better place. solas has to let go of his regrets so that he can become the hero that varric sees deep down in him. it is an essential part of his personal journey as a character... but it gets stickier when we are talking about systemic change. obvi a lot of dragon age's modern, young audience is very much in favor of "tear it all down!!" and i am too but i think with solas they are trying to tell a very personal and individual story of a man and his regrets rather than make a social commentary on radical change, but they also dont make that clear enough, so the two get muddied together when it comes to the question of the veil in a way that feels like they are advocating for maintaining the status quo, which i dont think was their intention.

i think this is so muddied because inquisition very much makes clear commentary on systems and institutions with the chantry, the orlesian empire, ferelden monarchy, mages and templars, and the inquisition itself being all vulnerable to corruption, and solas has a lot to say about all of this and he is very much presented as being right (like when he tells you about the corruption in your own ranks in trespasser and how hes spying on you lol) and then veilguard does not do this AT ALL, all of the issues are very personal ones of people and their identity, people and their family, people and their regrets etc. so i think a lot of us are in this mindset from inquisition of like.... yeah disrupt the status quo install a puppetmaster elf to rule an imperialist empire, make leliana pope and radicalize the chantry even if its bloody, dissolve the inquisition, abolish the circles etc. etc. and the question of the veil is very much an extension of these philosophical questions about systems and organizations. and for those of us who leaned towards dissolution of all of those corrupt structures, dissolution of the veil is the logical conclusion to a story thats sending us that message. but then veilguard just. does not even engage with these topics at all. like its not even a question. it takes the question of the veil and translates it into a personal issue of solas's psyche (which is super interesting, just different) and connects it to his past actions, his relationship with mythal, and his perception of himself, rather than a macro-level question of what is best for the world when pursuing change, and the answer for solas on a personal level ends up being different from the answer that inquisition was asking us, but it feels disjointed as a result.

so the veil staying up was the right decision because it forced solas to let go of his regrets and the game is about him. so it was an exercise in his therapy session with his two ex-gfs and some annoying kid who wont leave him alone. but the problem is it doesn't answer or engage with the greater questions and themes about systemic change that the series has been building up to.

veilguard is interesting because it wants to be dragon age 2 so bad while simultaneously being terrified of dragon age 2. solas bringing down the veil would have been the answer to the question that anders blowing up the chantry asked, but veilguard decided to ask a completely different question instead. and i think it did a good job in that specific goal, but it doesnt satisfy 15 years of build up and instead just throws it out the window in favor of something else.

[baphometsss]

On Solas's romantic history

Okay. I know what the consensus is. That he’s way too smooth in Inquisition to be inexperienced but... (and I’m fully prepared to get shat on for this lmao don’t kill me)

When he kisses Lavellan, that doesn’t read to me like he’s super suave and seductive. It reads more like—endeared by them trying to run away after kissing him, then being so surprised by how good the kiss felt, that he grabs Lavellan, kisses them again, pulls back with a surprised look on his face, and then goes in for more. It’s touch-starved, desperate, hungry. It’s not really all that smooth because he’s literally bending them over backwards lmao like Solas can you chill maybe

He is very smooth when flirting with Lavellan, but he's also an absolute gobshite who's spent thousands of years sassing the hell out of wannabe gods so that's not a surprise. He's witty af and enjoys some back and forth.

Solas is a very lonely man. He keeps everyone at arm’s length because he’s seen what getting close to people can do to him. His biggest fear is dying alone, and he almost gives into that because it’s what he believes he deserves for all he’s done. His life has been so stressful for so long that he's almost totally unable to consider anything else but his battles. He even says explicitly that he's tired.

That doesn’t make me think of someone who was out there in Ancient Elvhenan sleeping around all those years. No doubt he considered it, but he likely didn't pursue much with anyone physical; he enjoyed spending as much time as possible in the Fade. (The banter with Blackwall doesn't count to me personally since Solas himself thinks the whole idea is preposterous, which speaks for itself really.) Especially after being a slave/servant to Mythal seems to have voided him of his agency for some time. Then he led a rebellion and fought for thousands of years against brutal tyrants. Any one of the people he was close to could’ve been trying to kill him. Lavellan, however, has no reason to do so, so he can flirt with them freely. In all that time, it seems as though the only people he allowed to get close to the real him were Felassan and Mythal. I don’t think he slept with either, because the relationship was familial. Felassan was also loyal to Mythal, but didn’t burn his vallaslin off. (Is this a right hand/left hand of the Divine parallel again? Two brothers and their mother? Idk, I need to think about that one). For creatures with bodies made from the blood of Titans, they don’t have blood families. They would’ve had to forge their own, which is what Solas did with Mythal and Felassan.

And then there’s his ‘it has been a long time’. Most have taken this to mean that it’s been a long time since he’s been intimate with someone, but given what we know now and that he spent thousands of years in the Fade while his body was in uthenera… I wonder if he’s actually saying-- ‘it has been a long time since I lived in a body’-- ie. ‘it has been a long time since I felt physical drives, a long time since I have felt so physically real’. To me, this makes a lot more sense than the ‘he’s thousands of years old he can’t possibly be a virgin/inexperienced’ take bc like... My friends. It probably didn’t feel like thousands of years to him bc he’s essentially always existed. Time is different for spirits. It’s not like he’s gonna go: ‘well I’m nearly 4000y/o, better lose my v-card’. Time is no object when you are a timeless being. Then, given the path his life took, it wouldn’t make a lot of sense for him to be that experienced given how hard it is for him to trust.

I also personally headcanon him as heavily demisexual/demiromantic too. His true nature is so non-physical that the idea of him being very promiscuous or something just doesn’t fit his character. He needs a mental connection, to feel something, before sharing much of himself, or allowing himself the vulnerability intimacy brings, something he clearly feels with Lavellan based on how shaken up by it he is.

And it’s also canon that Solas has never been in love before meeting Lavellan. So. If he went however many millennia without falling in love, it’s also possible he went without intimacy for a long time too.

To be clear I’m not trying to say that this is the correct conclusion. My opinion has just changed a little since Veilguard (I used to think he was being smooth etc bc he's old af/v experienced, but with confirmation of former spirit Solas it’s changed my perspective somewhat)

Also:

‘Things have always been easier for me in the Fade’

‘I am not often thrown by things that happen in dreams’ my man is shooketh guys SHOOKETH

[metamatar]

that was my attempt to analyse stuff without letting too much sectarian nonsense bleed. ok consider giving me some grace for what im about to say next i try not do this too often bc i learn a lot from anarchists on here and i think needless antagonizing is bad. i will not be saying anything stupid like anarchists are not a real threat or whatever.

i also think a lot of the recently popularised texts like desert appeal to a romantic and innocent past to return to that predates industrial society. this is a (usually orientalist) narrative that is easy to buy if you don't really live in or engage with any communities that are identified as worth only industrial extraction but not industrial society – which is where global south subsistence economies actually exist, survival in the face of brutal imperial exploitation. so you can say out of pocket shit like african subsistence economies are anarchic power relations not conducive to empire. it is also a narrative that offers absolution from the genocide that the united states is built on by placing the answer in trying to reverse time. at this point i can be accused of developmentalism but im very open about the fact that third world poverty animates a lot of my political psychology.

pretty common and less interesting reasons are that anarchism acquires a lot of former libertarians whose hostility to authority is still located in that framework of liberty as rights. it conceptualises communism as authoritarianism cf historic anticommunism. unlearning shit is hard. marxism can be unpleasant culturally, as its full of pedant academics, the menshevik turn that says never is the time for agitation, full time campists, people on whom the ussr weighs like a nightmare and traditionalists who are not merely anti fun but plenty of anti sw, anti drug reactionary strains that are anathema even to progressive socdems. who wouldn't want to be free from this baggage etc.

you'd think that i would make a quip about effectiveness but honestly i don't really know how to organise in the imperial core yet. im taking an L abt that.

have had this discussion with comrades elsewhere but anarchists are the primary vehicle for left energy only in the anglosphere, which can be attributed both to historic (cold war destruction of institutional power) and ongoing anticommunism (you cannot be granted a us visa for eg if you belong to an official communist party.) as well as the likelihood of high control electoral parties without a path to power to degenerate into cult behaviour. all the vaunted exciting organising that is associated with anarchists in the united states — foodbanks and fascist defense is often done by party cadre of so called communist parties in india all the time. movement politics is contigent on historic factors that aren't just about ideology but also about strategy. indian anarchism for eg is mostly academic or its reactionary conservatism in thrall with the gandhian valorisation of the village.

[definitelynotshouting]

Hi I’m obsesseddddd with your hunger au and after reading the lore doc and the fic I have a couple questions if you don’t mind

Ok first off this isn’t really a question and more like a “huh wouldn’t that be fucked up” thought but uhhhh. So og grian was pretty much trapped in a box and constantly watched while the larva developed right. Did the watchers ever feed off him? Bc I imagine being trapped and just waiting to die wouldn’t be great for your emotional state. Or would they not since he is hosting the larva and that point so they can’t/wont feed on a host? Oh also you said that he made the deal to become a watcher while under duress. I imagine that duress could easily be heightened by some hungry watchers. And having your brain lightly fried would probably make you more susceptible to agreeing to a fucked up situation

And for my second question I was curious how aware the general populace/the hermits are of watchers?? Like are they a known thing and ppl just aren’t sure how they work or what. Because the rescue group had to puzzle out that grian was benefiting from their suffering in some way, but pearl seemed to have some idea of what grian was with the whole “eating our brains” bit so I’m curious what levels of knowledge they’re operating with here

Anyways thanks for reading my silly little thoughts on your amazing au!! It’s so fun I’m having such a good time with the horrible things happening

Im so glad you like the fic, anon!! :DD im always so touched when people tell me they enjoyed it enough to read the lore behind it-- gods ive gotta update that, there are a sizeable amount of newer asks i havent added to it yet, plus my beloved friend @/corvidaearts made a proper carrd for it on my birthday that i plan on replacing the google doc with!!! Just, uh, as soon as i add aforementioned posts dkcjsjdjfj

That would be super fucked up if they fed on him while he was trapped, OUGHHHH.... id say in canon probably not, because feeding off of one Player is really really dangerous for them, and Grian was now a host for their experiment to see if they could bring their population back up. If anything, nobody touched or interacted with him beyond the bare minimum it took to keep him safe from any potential respawns, and it was likely only the colony elders who even had direct access to him in the first place. THAT BEING SAID..... GODS THATS FUCKED UP I LOVE IT. And, well, i suppose one Watcher did feed on him.. which was Grian himself, as he emerged from his Player cocoon. Player!Grian's final moments of agony and terror were amplified to the max as his Watcher-self's very first meal, and that haunts Grian a lot late at night if he lets himself think about it

The duress he was placed under to become a host in the first place involved a significant amount of heightened emotional leverage though, thats for sure. One of these days i need to map out how exactly that went down, but i know that it involved an offer that was not actually an offer, several lies through omission, intimidation tactics that spanned the entirety of Evo in the first place, and using Grian's own fear-- both of them, and for his friends-- against him. Real fucked up situation all around 😔😔😔😔

General populace does not know much if anything about the Watchers!! The Watchers are, aside from this one colony, pretty much extinct; even before that, they relied quite a lot on camouflage and secrecy to keep their presence from being discovered, both by their prey and by the Seekers that hunted them.

Some very very old Players might know whispers of information-- rumors from the tail end of a game of telephone, as it were. And there are for sure a few individuals here and there who know of them due to personal experience (including the entire Evo crew, which was ofc a special case), but because Player information is not centralized in any capacity in this universe, the vast majority of Players have zero knowledge that Watchers even exist, let alone what they do and how they feed.

Pearl, with her previous knowledge and experience with Watchers and how they operated while involved with the Evo server, made some really good educated guesses about how Grian works and what's going on with him. And ofc everyone on Hermitcraft, plus all the lifers, knows that Grian at the very least can manipulate Player emotions to an extreme degree-- putting those context clues together, you can piece together quite a few connections. She doesn't have the full picture, but at this point in time she's basically figured out a good chunk of it. The rest will have to come from Grian himself >:]

[ladyloveandjustice]

I want to expand on what I'm talking about. And I said a little bit extra in the comments:

There's just some posts that have been going around about how to solve the issue of men swinging real right in America right now,which does have an impact on society. some guy was saying he was attacted to the right bc they were all 'welcome brother' but in the left people resent him. I think it's just. It's easier to go to an idealogy that's like 'you're entitled to this' than an idealogy that says 'hey you're not entitled to everything but you could be more emotionally healthy and kinder to other people and". That's something simply being nice or making them feel good won't ever fully fix. The "rewards" for being in the right will always feel more immediate for white men.

It's not unique to men to feel alienated in an idealogy that wants you to challenge yourself. At the same time, more kindness to everyone, emphasis on acceptance, less volatile language toward each other, will help the community be stronger over all. it is a difficult conundrum, but I don't think it comes down to 'we don't make men feel special enough

It also ignores I think, that white men DO get rewarded in leftist spaces too. a lot. Men will get a ton of adoration for saying something vaguely feminist than if a woman says it a lot of the time, and so on a so forth, everyone loves a sweet guy...I think that's something that already happens.

But let's get back to volatile language:

We always say guilt isn't going to help anyone and it isn't about guilt. But I think we need to admit that no, we do try to make people feel guilty and ashamed a lot. And not framing it around that most of the time would do a lot.

I've seen posts straight up saying it's a bad thing to want to survive and live happy lives and take actions to do this because (x) bad thing is happening. You know, the most basic human instinct? And that's not going to win over people. You may not like that, but it's not.

I don't think that needs to center on women helping men feel special about themselves. A lot of us are asked to take care of men all the time and it's exhausting. Men on the left can focus on being more positive about the concept of manhood if they want, but asking women to do the work. is just....yeah that's just the patriarchy.

I do think examining things like black masculinity etc is great though. If you have another marginalized identity, it will intertwine with masculinity in very specific ways that will be used against you, just as it is with femininity or being outside both those concepts (yet the world assigns you one anyway). I totally get that masculinity is used as a weapon against both gay men and gay women, in different specific ways. And I think at least learning about that and supporting efforts to stop this makes one a better person.

On the other hand. it would be insane of me to ask a Black woman to make a Black man feel special and accepted for simply being a man if she doesn't want to do that. Like. absolutely wild.

And it's it's rarely about that, is it? When we say "celebrate men" it's not bringing any unique experience into it. It's about white men. They're the ones who make up most of the alt-right.

Communities in the right are not compassionate but because they offer some form of reward and companionship they can seem like that. As much as people are lured in by "welcome brother" or whatever, those same people will on the right will mock any person who steps outside the strict roles that have been set.

So....we need to abolish to same roles. I think we need to focus on how we talk to people. On supporting people when they're trying.

It also comes off in how we talk to each other about basically I can harshly tell someone who has privilege over me-- a white man or straight person ect ect-- their guilt about their privilege does nothing, I'm not interested in guilt and what we need is action. But let's be real. Telling someone "you benefit from a system that makes other people suffer" is going to make someone feel guilty. And yelling at someone for feeling guilty isn't going to make that better. I think we avoid saying the truth and say what's the core of it-- no, it's not your fault you were born a certain way and now you benefit from something. A society hundreds of years in the making made that happen. And that sucks, that you basically have no choice but to be complicit. And it sucks way, way more for the people who are kept down by that system. So we need to change society. We can do it together. It's not to "make up" for you existing. It's because we care about each other. I want this for all of us, because when we see each other as whole people and are treated equally, it benefits all of us.

This is a not a "men are uniquely punished by the left for being men, we need to celebrate masculinity, stop being so mean" thing. It's a human thing. It's about the way we talk to each other and try to weild guilt towards people in general. People want to feel good about themselves. They want some kind of acceptance. If you're constantly made to feel bad, it can be hard to want to stay. This is something everyone feels, because we all have a selfish instinct.

People don't like feeling guilty. That's just how people are. It's promoting compassion, rather than hatred and resentment, that's going to help us in the end.

But me simply saying that isn't going to change much. Humans feel hurt and lash out too. When horrible things are happening to us, we resent people that don't understand that or are part of that. The paradigm shift will be hard. Not everyone will be able to do it and I don't think that's wrong.

Everyone gets frustrated by a class of people where a lot of them have more power and try to push them down. Nobody wants to talk to someone that's trying to hurt them.

That's why it needs to be someone like me who could explain racism 101 rather than idk. making a person of color say 'well white people don't feel special and accepted for being white. poc we must be nicer. let's celebrate whiteness because the right does and that's why white people are drawn to it, they feel accepted." listen to how ridic that sounds. you are literally asking for a white history month. That's the same thing you're doing when you're talking about manhood like this. The onus is not on the discriminated group to reach out to those harming them. That's up to others in the community.

But as a broader thing...We just need to figure out what the end game is. Do we want to yell and guilt trip, or do we want more people in our corner? What's more important, the end goal or if someone knows all the right lingo or matches up to your opinions exactly? What do we need to rally around? How can we take care of each other? If we're kinder to the community, more people will follow.

Anyway this is the last time i'll say some big thing like this and tag it. I don't like doing this on tumblr for a reason.

[ar-cadez]

Negaverse Megavolt concept!

Design notes and personality rant stuff under the cut. Warning. It's long and unreadable.

The purse thing is a generator (Ill probably design it as a prop at some point considering It does NOT look like one but portable generators are hard for me to draw for some reason)

I swapped which eye has the white in it (even though I usually draw it on the wrong side anyway bc idk my lefts from rights..)

I wanted to make the darks very prominent bc the yellows are very prominent in the original

I went with blues bc it's the only other colour usually associated with lightning and electricity.

The teal parts of his outfit are lights! They glow when he's fully charged and fade out when he's out of power.

You can't see it in this pose but his hands have outlets on the back that work the same as megavolt's chest outlet. He can power weapons with them and charge himself without the pain of straight up shocking himself

I wanted to make his hair look like it's thinning out bc of age and repeated electrical damage but I wasn't sure how to do that so it's not really present. Did give him some white hair though.

His glasses are prescription! Can't see nothin without em..

Okay now some personality stuff!

Megavolt is the hardest villain to swap bc his personality is "insane guy with memory issues but is smart" and it's kinda hard to flip that around without just making him boring? Removing his intelligence when it comes to electricity would also negate his whole gimmick which makes things worse. but I do have a few ideas. It's ironic I struggle with him so much considering he's literally my favourite character...

He was popular in high school. He was friends with negaduck and they were both pretty well liked jock types before negaduck started doing major crimes (though I imagine he was always a delinquent of sorts. Just didn't start destroying the city till he graduated) clash reunion is a whole beast on it's own bc megavolt has the most in depth backstory which means a lot of reworking for a personality swap au.

His interests, like dw's megavolt, lie in magnesium, electronics, and engineering. The difference is, despite being Intruiged by these subjects, he didn't go out of his way to learn about the. He was more focused on his peers approval back then. Not to mention the fact that negaduck was an extremely toxic friend and would absolutely make fun of him constantly for it. (He doesn't even actually care, he's just an asshole.)

Eventually after gaining his abilities he began to study electricity and start inventing things. Only.. He's pretty bad at it. Things tend to backfire on him. Quackerjack has a lot more experience than him when it comes to engineering and he tries to help him out but the guy's kinda cursed. I haven't really decided if it's more dt17 gyro where everything he makes ends up turning against him or guy am I from the Netflix green eggs and ham show where everything he makes just kinda explodes. Maybe a bit of both. Either way it's very over the top and is more trouble than it's worth, but that doesn't stop him! (Oh God someone stop him)

I didn't wanna just take away his mental issues completely because the opposite of that is literally nothing. It adds.. Nothing. It just gives him less to work with. And it's already hard enough to do this guy. (Plus it kinda implies mentally ill people can't be heroes and that's.. Mm....) So instead I decided to change how he reacts to it.

He still has memory issues along with other physical and mental symptoms of electrical injury, he just really likes to pretend he doesn't. He completely ignores his deteriorating mental, physical, and emotional health <33

I wanna flesh him out more but I'd only be able to do that if I write with him and I'm fantastic at procrastinating my writing projects <33

[kinardsevan]

Wanna know what’s funny? I also have lore (in my head) about these tickets.

As one of the people clowning that this is all going to take a turn and it’s all purposely been set up this way, my take on the tickets is this:

How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days.

On day 8 (or 9 I don’t remember), Ben gifts Andie tickets to the Knicks. If we still apply the romcom trope to them, the through line of that movie has neither Ben or Andie going to the game. In fact, when Ben finds out about Andie’s article, he goes after her to talk her into staying.

Now I’m not saying that’s what the show is doing. But we know that from day 1, Buck has actively pursued this relationship. We know that Oliver said Buck will spiral, that the cracks will show, that there’s the question of “do you go after them, let them go, block them” (I know I’m butchering that line but still). When you compound this with the crumbs that have been getting dropped since 710, this is why I align with the fact that, while gutted and admittedly struggling this week given what this country (and then this show) did to us as a community…this is not the end. This is not the final pay off. (And if it is, 911 may very well see a mass exodus that includes me).

I actually have an entire theory I need to type out bc it’s fairly detailed, but it accounts for all of the things mentioned above and how even the end of 806 makes sense. (Going to try and get it written out tonight). Like, I’m fully on the side of “this was such a bullshit way to do it”. But one of the things I keep going back to is, if this relationship is REALLY going to go the distance, then at some point, a version of this had to happen. Second, knowing what we do know about Tommy, this fits in the line of his character.

I’ve said a lot in DMs to friends about this and not a whole lot publicly bc there’s every chance that I’m just clowning bc I don’t want to let go of the ship (which is absolutely true). But as I stated to @im-turnip last night… I’m just picking up bread crumbs.

Either way, I do hope we get firmer answers at some point on why, if the payoff isn’t actually going to happen with the show.

That’s all I have to say on the subject.

For some reason people seem to be interpreting Tommy gifting Buck Lakers tickets as proof of how much he doesn't know him or ignores his preferences because Buck hates basketball.

And that's just such bs.

Here's why I think Tommy gave Buck those tickets abd why they make perfect sense and are actually a very romantic gift for them specifically:

I'm assuming they are counting the day of their first kiss as the start of their relationship ergo their anniversary date, but even if they don't this still makes sense.

Because their first kiss happened on the same day as the basketball game that started it all.

The basketball game that Buck went to despite not liking the sport because he liked Tommy.

The Basketball game that Buck maimed his best friend at because he liked Tommy and was jealous.

The basketball game that was kind of a train wreck which then led to Tommy turning up at Buck's loft which then led to their first kiss.

The basketball game that plays a pivotal role in jump starting their relationship.

Basketball isn't Buck's favourite sport, but it got him Tommy.

So yeah that gift is sweet and actually funny, especially paired with Tommy's comment about how Buck can totally take Eddie only to immediately making it clear that Buck absolutely can't take Eddie because the tickets are for them as a couple. Because Buck played basketball for Tommy. They're bantering because that's what couples do. Teasing each other fondly has been part of the love language of their relationship from the very beginning.

The gift was never about basketball. It's about them and their story together. It's Tommy saying 'I see you'.

It's a gift that's meaningful and personal.

It's sweet af.

[boltdrake]

Ok about moral greyness in elden ring fandom

I feel like it’s mostly treated as either some kind of badass cosmetics for a GoodGuy (like “my blorbo is cool and good and kind but you know they kill people - bad people, so it’s not bad but it’s not also your Jesus guy which is normal bc who would give their second cheek”) or some kind of euphemism used by bad/problematic/pseudo intellectual people to erase morality

I’m bad problematic pseudo intellectual person so take my opinion with grain of salt, but I think it’s a great misunderstanding or what a morally grey character is in ER especially

It’s usually based on the that understanding of goodness that to be good you just need to do good things and don’t do bad things (which is of course extremely vague and not defined but anyways). It’s seems pretty straightforward and because of that brings a lot of confusion

It’s quite easy for a character to be GoodGood (even with murders but I digress), you can see it in many fix-it fanworks where often every trouble finds its own, well, fixing, and there’s always a way to set things right, maybe just with some sad deaths along the way, but characters often will find this correct way because in these universes there’s always at least one

(It’s not a rant on fanfiction I like it and I like fix-its very VERY much)

And when same logic is applied to the game itself, often arises treatment of characters as GoodGood, MisleadedGood and BadBad ones

But in the stories we see in Elden Ring context is usually such that when a character wants to get something, even something good, like for example make people live forever or cure their own sister, there’s sometimes no way of resolving their trouble without facing some kind of moral choice, even if you’re a literal half-god. You either get what you want with a price, or don’t get it… also with a price. Because fromsoftware stories are build on conflict, tragedy and irony

That’s what makes character grey, the fact there’s no third option or that you don’t have third option just because world is that way and you’re unlucky. And not choosing to get what you want can be as bad as choosing opposite. And that’s what usually makes situation complex and twisted and inherently grey

I don’t want to say that like every person in fandom should treat all the characters as mostly good ones without making some way less sympathetic than others. Making characters twisted and horrible is fun! I’m just tired of the way how people 1) don’t realise there’s often HUGE room for interpretation and make it problem of others 2) hate characters with such a passion as they were real humans who live in your neighbourhood on planet earth 2024 3) sanitise characters into strictly Good and Bad ones etc etc etc

My whole vent on Miquella’s hatebase is in fact divided into two parts, one being me thinking many people just lack understanding of the DLC/base game ideas and plot, but that’s ok we all have different opinions (I’m just the only one who is correct. LIVE WITH THAT.), and second being that vague ??rudeness?? and hatred which accompanies division on Morally Good and Morally Bad, because there’s this subtle idea like. Oh if you like Godrick/Rykard/Post-DLC Miquella / Seluvis then you’re moral pervert/ lover of Dark. Which is rarely true and really annoys me

I also have no trouble with GoodGood characters being GoodGood because, well. it’s comforting and cozy stuff. But often it turns into token of moral superiority, like look I love GoodGood guy because I’m good too and also not stupid. This is also annoying and I wish we had less of this in fandom.

It’s often also a lie to oneself, because even if we approach elden ring from I Can Simp Only Morally Pure ones (which is very boring and butchers the whole thing in my opinion) then we would probably be left with only Boc, Hewg and maybe Roderika. What do you mean you want to simp LITERAL murderers?? What do you mean you want to simp those assholes demigods who think that people are just dolls for their games, who turned the land into land of the dead because they just couldn’t stop war after war after war to decide who will make new order? What do you mean you want to simp the demigod who quit the war to do literally nothing to stop it???? CRINGE

Also GoodGood character headcanon making without self-awareness often results in very weird moral twists of its own, because in this logic character is allowed to make only GoodGood decisions, therefore all the stuff character made in canon MUST be good and morally justified. This leads to something like Marika fans writing essays on the topic You Can In Fact Deserve Genocide

Enough for today have a good day fellow dlc lovers 💪

Upd posted this on main by accident got jumpscared it’s so hard to copy past on mobile for some reason. No edgy on main I promised!!

[fandomish]

Mikey was the easiest for me: he’s all percussion, I think of a big drum set with him, or maybe the one from marching bands (is it called drumline? Think of the videos where people play upside down and blindfolded that’s what I’m talking about) where people really show off; loud and important and strong, I think it fits his mystic and razzmatazz fighting styles best

Donnie is also easy: synths; you can make a lot of different kinds of music with them, but at the base they’re always electronic and you can usually pick that out; I’d argue Donnie’s would be more over the top electronic sounding, bc duh tech but also his personality is consistent even through he has a very creative and dynamic mystic type (literally inventing anything he wants)

Raph is actually the hardest one, bc I’m tempted to lump him in with Mikey and say percussion but that’s not accurate; if Raph is percussion he’d be the beat bc of the way he holds his brothers up, but I’d argue that that actually fits Leo best since Leo usually is the one manipulating the playing field and setting the pieces— the beat is what the rest of the instruments follow, but Raph is less of a planner and much more of a heavy hitter. Thus, I’d call Raph the brass section of the band, really loud trumpets and tubas, the main one who acts out plans (combo attacks usually surround his projections in boosts, which would make him the melody aka trumpets) as well as lots of strength to support the others (which is where low brass comes in)

Leo is v curious bc you THINK he’d be a trumpet. He’s loud and showy and the first one you notice. And that’s fair, he is the trumpet sometimes, but that’s not his best work; trumpet is the Face Man, when he’s forcing everyone to focus on his mouth instead of the other aspects he has domino-falling into place. His actual instrument is a lot more subtle, providing undertones to everyone else but undeniably noticeable when it’s missing. I called him the beat earlier and I meant it, I’d give him a low strings instrument, like a cello or a bass. They’re hard to play, but when they’re featured in music it gives the song so much more depth (think “Rule #34” by Fish in a Birdcage). Leo wants you to focus on his trumpeting so the cello can do the real work

TL;DR: Mikey gets percussion, Donnie is synths, Raph is the brass section, and Leo has multiple instruments bc of his masking (trumpet when face man-ing and cello for his leading/strategizing)

Question for everyone to answer however they like!

What musical instruments do you associate with the turtles’ respective fighting styles/movements? Doesn’t have to be just one thing, multiple together also works! I’m just very curious what everyone thinks of tbh. Not like, actual songs or anything, but straight up sounds that reflect the characters’ movements in battle!🎶

[artslovergirl]

art & patrick at mark rebellato academy

[headcanons]

notes: i really enjoyed writing this because i just genuinely adore these characters and this movie so much. there's so many interesting little details and nuances there that i could just talk about forever and ever. i truly hope i did them justice here lol (also writing this made me jealous of people that are good at writing character analysis' and thinkpieces bc wow it is hard!) but yeah enjoy!

wordcount: 3.4k

they met at age 12 during their first day at the mark rebellato academy in their now shared room. 

when art came in with a duffel bag (that looked comically big next to his scrawny kid body) patrick was already sitting on the bed he had claimed(the right side next to the door) all by himself, his parents didn't have a very tearful nor long goodbye as they sent their son off to boarding school.

in contrast art’s mom and grandma seemed keen to embarrass him in front of his new roommate with their cooing and hugging him goodbye. 

it wasn't even like his mom and him were really all that close though. she just seemed to want to squeeze in all the moments of a loving mother-son relationship into the small segments of time she actually spent with him.

the goodbye hug and small ruffle of his hair from his grandma felt a little more genuine. embarrassing all the same as he could feel the other dark haired boy try not to crack up at the display.

"mom. please." he pleaded with her as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "i’m sorry, artie, but i need to make up for all the time i'm gonna miss with you!" yeah, he bets.

a few minutes later and a tear or two from his mother they did finally leave him be. as soon as he heard the door shut though, the awkward silence enveloping the room almost made him miss them. 

he threw his duffel bag on the left bed and sat down on the edge. he fidgeted with his bottom lip, a nervous habit he's had for as long as he could remember. 

the brunette boy shifted on the bed so he was now facing him. his mouth pulled into a toothy grin "so you're...artie?" 

art groaned and hid his head in his hands, slumped over his knees. "no, that's..just my moms nickname for me. sorry you had to see that." he says in a squeaky broken voice which didn't help the embarrassment he was already feeling.

the other boy just brushed right past all that and said "i’m patrick." and then as an afterthought, "zweig."

"uh." art leaned back up, still avoiding his gaze. it was weirdly intense. "yeah, i’m..art. um, donaldson." he said the last part like it was a question almost.

patrick began to swing his legs a little. it was clear to him that art was the quiet type even if they had just exchanged a few words so far, but luckily patrick didn't mind talking. it was something his father always hated about him. he almost talked enough for both of them which after a little while finally seemed to break the ice of art's shy exterior. 

art didnt know what he thought about patrick yet. he was pretty..confident that was for sure. even a little arrogant, maybe. art scolded himself internally for being so judgemental. it was quality he hated about himself, but seemingly couldn’t get rid of.

despite all of that he had to admit that patrick was easy to talk to. there was never an uncomfortable gap in conversation with him. which art liked since those kinds of things made him want to crawl out of his skin sometimes.

that first night he spent staying up with patrick, slowly realizing how much they had in common while simultaneously being complete opposites, is one of his fondest memories and probably always will be. he never experienced another connection that felt anything even close to that.

their room wasn't too small but with the way patrick would just constantly toss his clothes wherever he pleased it seemed a lot smaller. 

it's not like art was insanely neat or anything, he was still a teenage boy. patrick was just exceptionally messy.

"patrick, this shit is so gross, i told you to use the hamper." 

patrick groaned, "youre such a neatfreak, fuck off." 

at that response a pair of dirty boxers were thrown at his head, courtesy of art. "i don't want to see or smell your worn underwear. that doesn't make me a neatfreak." 

patrick just tossed it back in art’s direction, to which the blonde quickly scurried out of the way to dodge it like his life depended on it. 

"you know if tennis doesn't work out for you, you'll make a good housewife." patrick grinned mockingly.

“ha-ha.” art just rolled his eyes, stuck up his middle finger and let the door slam behind him with his racket bag slung over his shoulder. 

trying to get patrick to do anything was like trying to teach a cat to do a trick without any treats. borderline impossible. so by age 15 art finally gave up.

...until he realized a year later that patrick would clean his side of the room whenever they had a girl over so..

yeah, sometimes he did lie and tell patrick that a girl was coming over just so he would clean his side of the room. 

you can judge him all you want but you never had to room with patrick zweig

 and after the third time that trick stopped working anyway. art was never a good liar. or maybe patrick could just call his bullshit way too easily.

they didn't fight too often, it was more like they constantly got into little tiffs

except for that time where it got so out of hand that they duct-taped a line dividing their rooms into two sides. (i know this is giving sitcom i'm sorry but tell me i'm wrong)

eventually they kind of forgot what they even fought about in the first place but they were too lazy to take the tape off of the carpet, so it just stayed on there for like 2 years till it peeled off.

like i mentioned in my other post these two were BITCHES

they would def talk shit all the time. they were not even trying to be secret about it tbh. (see: them staring at anna crying at tashi's party)

they sat in the bleachers watching one of their classmates play a practice match

“dude, look at that forehand. it sucks.” art muttered. patrick nodded, “i know. no way she’ll even make it through the semester.” “i’ll be surprised if she makes it through this match without fracturing her wrist.” patrick snickered at art’s comment.

actual mean girls LMAO

and to be fair, they were fucking amazing at tennis, especially when they played together

so it's not like anyone could necessarily insult them back

but it also wasn't bullying or anything

they were just judgy and loved to talk shit

art had some decorum about it or felt bad about it sometimes. not patrick though. 

man has no shame. never did. as art so lovingly puts it “the part of his brain that feels shame withered away a long time ago.”

art wore glasses from ages 12 till 14 

he then switched to contact lenses because patrick said girls dont like guys with glasses and that they make him look nerdy

they weren't allowed to have any sort of electronics like computers or flip phones at the academy. not even mp3 players. 

now obviously patrick completely ignored that rule. he had like three flip phones under his bed in case his actual one ever got taken (it did)

he also smuggled in 2 mp3 players (one was for art, patrick is so kind… he did charge him 4 dollars for it though. that rich asshole. lmao)

honestly i would like to insert here what i think they would have listened to but..i was like..a baby when they wouldve been at the academy so..feel free to drop your music headcanons in the reblogs or comments 

they were only allowed one weekly call to their families from the communal landline.

neither patrick nor art were very fond of these calls so even though they weren't supposed to they would always go into the phone room together.

patricks mother always insisted on speaking in german with her son. he thought she only did it because it made her feel more connected to his father’s side of the family. not like it would fix their fucked up marriage though. 

“nein, mama, ich habe mein deutsch nicht vergessen.” (no, mom, i havent forgotten my german) he sighs. art sits on the floor next to him and flicks a rubber band at him. “ja, verstanden. ja, ich weiß.” (yes, understood. yes, i know.) he rolls his eyes. 

art understood a few of the basic words since patrick taught him some german after art asked how to correctly pronounce his last name. 

“..bis nächste woche. tschüss.” (talk to you next week. bye.) he hung up. his mom said i love you but he knew she didn't mean it so he didn't say it back. 

patrick groaned and stretched out his legs that were seemingly getting longer by the day (art secretly prayed for a growth spurt that would make him taller than patrick. right now he was still pretty short for a guy his age.) 

he handed the phone to art. “she always talks so much. it's like i'm not even on the other line.” patrick scowls. art just nodded. he knew that by now.

art called his grandma but his dad picked up instead. it was okay. talking to his dad felt a little like talking to some distant uncle that he only saw once a year, “how's it going, champ?” “good.” “great.” that kinda stuff

the phone call lasted 5 minutes. he stood up and hung the phone back on the receiver. 

“wanna smoke?” patrick asked already reaching for the two loose cigarettes stuffed into his jean shorts pocket.

art nodded. he didn't really like smoking, and he kind of only did it because patrick did. and whenever he did, all he could think about was how bad for him it was. 

he was always pretty conscious about that kinda stuff, it was a little drilled into him by his dad who was the most adamant about art becoming a tennis player since he used to be one when he was younger.

so sugar and fats (basically anything that tasted good) were pretty much banned in the donaldson household 

which kind of resulted in art subconsciously believing that anything that brought him joy or pleasure must be inherently bad for him or followed by a feeling of guilt and shame to make up for it.

needless to say art wasn't the best at indulging. he was a little jealous of how patrick never seemed to have any issue with that sort of thing.

patrick didn't care about maintaining a good diet or depriving himself of life's pleasures for the sake of tennis. he took what he wanted like life owed it to him. 

maybe that's why he smoked with patrick. to try and be more like him?

also because it gave him a nice sense of rebellion.

most things he did with patrick gave him that feeling.

at the academy they were the definition of ‘not sold separately’

if you saw one the other wasn't far behind

its not like they didn't have other friends. they did. they were pretty popular actually

but none of those friendships were anything like what art and patrick had.

especially when playing doubles.

it felt like they could communicate telepathically 

patrick knew when art was going for the ball before the other team even served and vice versa.

tennis felt different when they were playing together. better.

and it felt so easy, it felt like nothing they needed to work on. their friendship was the same. it was so easy, so natural.

after about a year or so of being friends they started being in sync. literally.

they cross their legs at the same time, they pick up their rackets at the same time, they adjust their forehand grip at the same time, they walk at the same pace, they sit down the same etc etc you get it

also that isn't really a headcanon, like this is canon in the movie. and it makes me SICK that they were still in sync in 2019. after not talking for 12 years. shut up that’s some soulmate shit

now let's talk about something else that is canon…the pushed together beds.

yes!

now, i think patrick is a person that is pretty open with his body in general in terms of like being physically affectionate. or just being physical. 

i don't know if art is, i think he's a little more reserved. (repressed if you will! i will!)

but patrick touching him so casually does fill a little tiny (gaping) void in him that yearns for touch.

he is a professional yearner as we all know

and patrick never had an issue satisfying those yearnings for him. (i think we saw that in the fact that patrick taught art how to jerk off ok next topic)

patrick would sling his arm around his shoulder, lay his long legs over arts lap, ruffle arts curls (“stop that, you're messing them up.” “no, i'm not they always look like this”),he would barge into their room after practice flopping his tall sweaty body on top of art to annoy him.

they were very physically affectionate it was just all under the guise of shoving and tripping each other and just general teenage boy roughhousing shenanigans. that counts as a love language to me ok!

art got used to patrick touching him very quick and even reciprocated sometimes 

also i do think that sometimes patrick would smack art’s ass as a joke. lol. (that's inspired by that video of the two doubles players doing that…do you guys know what i’m talking about)

OK SO!

the beds.

they were 16. patrick suggested it. “these beds are too fucking small.” he complained, laying on his staring at the smoke detector that he had covered with a shower cap so it wouldnt detect the smoke from his cigarettes. 

and to be fair…yeah. patrick stood at 1,80 cm right now and his feet were hanging over the edge of the bed.

art looked up from his book which he was only reading to impress a girl he had a crush on. patrick had told him to just pretend he read it but art said that was disingenuous and he wanted to know what she liked and why she liked it. 

“you know what we should do? we should push our beds together.” patrick sat up, grinning like he just had the best idea ever. 

arts features twisted up in thought. “isn't that a little close?” 

“nah, why, we still have our own beds. just more space.” patrick shrugged.

he glanced at their beds. “uhhh…i guess we can do that. the beds are a little cramped. although is that even allowed?” art began fidgeting with his lip like he usually did when he was in thought.

but patrick was already in the process of shoving his bed next to arts after which he let himself fall onto the two beds in a starfish position, with his gangly limbs almost stretching to every corner of the beds. “oh. great. and i’ll just curl up at the foot of the bed then?” art gave patrick a deadpan stare. 

“up to you.” patrick grinned in that specific way that really irked art. 

patrick did make some space for him once they actually went to sleep that night

even now they were two opposites making a whole

patrick always ran cold so he hogged all the blankets and art always ran hot so he immediately kicked them off of him as soon as he fell asleep 

that only made this new pushed together beds thing even better for patrick because he now got to have his own blanket AND steal arts every night

i wouldn't say they cuddled necessarily? i think it was more just like the regular amount of physical touching that happens when you sleep in the same bed

which is still pretty intimate to me idk about you guys

like their legs kind of thrown over each others, art’s arm occasionally draped over patricks chest (or literally on his face. art denies every time that he does it on purpose but patrick KNOWS he does it to annoy him. he knows.) 

one time art had a nightmare of being trapped under a rock only to wake up and find out that somehow patrick had rolled over in the middle of the night and was now laying COMPLETELY on top of art. right before he was about to push him off (because he was making art actively suffocate) patrick rolled over again and fell out of bed. he didn't even wake up from that. genuinely just slept on the floor that night. freak of nature that guy.

also patrick for sure twitches like a dog in his sleep

and i think it used to wake art up because he's a pretty light sleeper but eventually he just got used to it lol

when art went to stanford he never finished the last bite of anything he ate because he was so used to patrick being next to him and just stealing the last bite.

patrick really really wanted to get his ears pierced when he was 15. 

so naturally he asked art to do it for him.

you know…like how they did it in the parent trap. which if you asked them is a movie that they definitely haven't seen. ( but they did see it and art cried at the twins reuniting with their parents, oops.)

unfortunately for patrick art was very very squeamish with needles at that age (i think that mellowed down the older he got but he still refused to look whenever he got vaccinations or anything like that.) 

so now it was midnight, they were in their room sitting on the floor and arguing

“dude, just do it, stop being such a wuss. you're not even the one getting pierced.” patrick groaned, he had numbed his earlobe with ice but he could already feel a little bit of the feeling return to it, that's how long they had been sitting there with art squirming around because he hated even looking at the sewing needle.  

“that's worse though because i have to look at the needle going in your ear!” art argued

“ well, i can't do it myself.” patrick replied.

...

“are you wearing my shirt?” art squinted at him

“stop trying to change the subject.” 

“i told you to stop stealing my clothes. i don't want to do laundry that often.”

“can you focus?” patrick groaned

“dude.. okay, fine. just give me a second.” art took a deep breath.

“oh. my god. you're not performing open heart surgery.” 

“shut the fuck up.”

“you shut the fuck up.” 

and what do you know that response got art to get over his fear of needles for a second and stab that thing right through his best friends ear 

the little high pitched yelp patrick let out in surprise at that is something art didn't let him forget about for like two weeks after

it took about another hour for art to pierce patricks second ear and eventually they managed but then like a week later patrick forgot to put his earrings in and the piercings immediately grew shut

so all that drama was for nothing!

i think art has always kind of been the type of guy to want domesticity. 

i already posted about this somewhere but i kind of came to that conclusion because patrick said “he wants to spend time with his family” to tashi in the alley scene

patrick hadn’t spoken to art for like a decade at that point

and you could say it's a good guess but NO! 

patrick knows art like the back of his hand and patrick knows that art has always wanted a family and how much it probably kills him to miss out on time with them due to his career at that point in time (also just throwing this out there i think art always wanted to have a daughter more than a son, like that just makes sense to me. maybe bc i think his own relationship with his dad is so distant? idk!)

so yeah

also the sauna scene where patrick says that marriage isn't what he was for 

(to me) also implies that he is the opposite of art who was meant for marriage

anyway do i think that art shared his wishes for a family and marriage in the future with patrick? yes

do i think patrick jokingly made art promise to make him his best man? yeah

and furthermore do i think about the fact that patrick then had to read about arts wedding in some tabloid years later? yep!

i’m sure i could think of more in the future but that's all i've got for now! i hope this was coherent enough to enjoy because it’s not as proofread as my fics usually are lol! i just wanted to get these thoughts out there

if some of these seem familiar it might be because i took some of these from my twt!

i also have some more headcanons floating around on my tumblr that i didn't include here if you want to find those, or not, i'm not your mom! 

[thedyingwriter]

somethings that i needed to get out regarding today's episode:

9-1-1 live airs in the US around 7 am Friday in my country and i get to watch it at 10:30 am on disney hotstar.

I couldn't wait so i was awake all night and was literally on twt since 6:30 am to get some clips.

that's where i find out that bucktommy break up.

i have been devastated all day. i have cried multiple times and i have literally lost count atp. it hurts like an actual breakup and i have absolutely no one irl to share this grief with.

the Abby being the ex-fiance wasn't even a major issue. i have been seen it done so well in so many fics.

Josh's speech was so beautiful and important but then to pull a breakup like that makes no fucking sense.

after what we saw in 8x5 breaking them made absolutely zero sense.

i was too overwhelmed so i tried to sleep and actually watched the entire episode around 11 am. I wanted to keep and open mind and analyse the episode.

twt is literally so toxic rn. I'm not even opening it.

after watching the entire episode i was even more confused as the breakup made zero sense.

we have had 8 seasons of character growth for buck, if they end up making him go back to casual relationships it just feels a complete wastage of 8 seasons of growth.

and from what we've seen in the past episodes the breakup was completely uncharacteristic to both buck and tommy.

it made no sense. why would tommy put so much effort if he knew it wouldn't last.

him constantly showing up for evan and talking about family just made zero sense for him to break up like that.

also it kinda felt weird to bring moving in together before saying i love yous.

and the way he said "the parking spot was too good to be true". this breakup doesn't feel good at all. he was obviously in pain and so was buck. this isn't doing any of them any good.

utter bullshit.

plus the "I'll see you around buck" broke me. like why the fuck would you do that to me and to buck.

it felt like someone put fucking alcohol all over a stab wound and then rubbed salt all over it.

LOW BLOW.

now coming to the post ep interviews which btw made it worse.

i was still under the impression that the way the breakup happened there was still hope for reconciliation because remember even tarlos went through breakups.

but then lou confirmed he might not be back and that this is it. specially that buck line. UGH.

and that #letbuckfuck interview with oliver really triggered me. I'm a bisexual woman and the reason i really loved buck's discovery of his sexuality was bcs Oliver was very determined in Givin a good bi rep.

but this doesn't feel that way. he could have said that he wants to see buck explore his sexuality more with both men and woman but the whole "girl, girl, guy. guy, girl, guy" montage was a very disturbing image.

it feels very stereotypical and biphobic.

it just hurts me so much. idk why i expected so much from a network tv show who has been queerbating for years.

i am gonna be watching this season just to see how they salvage buck's relationship and sexuality. it feels incomplete.

but if it goes in the buck 1.0 direction that's it for me.

i watch 911 as an escape from reality and if it goes so bad i am not continuing with the show.

it has already tested my limits and mental health enough.

also i need to point out that there are a lot of people who enjoy watching sports a lot more than they enjoy playing it. buck is a watcher. he would have loved seeing the Lakers match. just bcs he doesn't like to play doesn't mean he hates basketball.

a little extra side notes-

really excited for another buckley han kid. hope they don't ruin it. want to see how they deal with ppd this time.

also happy for eddie and really hoping he gets chris back soon.

ya'll need to understand how platonic friendship buddie is also so important rn then them getting together bcs eddie is def not ready to date.

if he starts dating he'll feel super guilty for putting his desire above chris all over again.

ALSO FOR PEOPLE IN THE BACK- EDMUNDO DIAZ IS CANON STRAIGHT.

[opiopal]

MC who hates Lucifer’s guts, yet will go into his study or the music room when overstimulated by all the noise of the HOL. Like, they’ll plant a glitter bomb in his room, and after he’s done finally cleaning up MOST of it, he walks into the music room and sees MC sleeping on the couch listening to a record all peacefully. Or just like…the brothers will randomly notice MC goes missing and is found either spaced out in their rooms or fast asleep.

uhh…basically, an MC who is usually very loud and competitive, will get overstimulated by all the sounds and general loudness of the HOL, and later be found hanging out or asleep in the most random places.

this is so long I’m so sorry-

(Like sleeping in mammons car boot/trunk)

omg YES, but this has also got to be SO hard for mc like omg,

I am imagine them absolutely getting into it with Levi or S8n or literally ANY of the brothers over small things, mc is just digging for a challenge always. “I bet I could eat this faster” “I bet I could beat you in this game” “I bet I could win more money than you” Ect. Ect. but eventually they’re social battery runs out and they can’t help but curse their own behavior, so eventually they slowly separate from the chaos they had created and go into a quiet room, and honestly luci’s room would be so perfect for that. Who in the world would willing bother him in his office? ESPECIALLY when he’s working? Well Mc would, I can imagine Luci is just so used to his brothers going from plotting against him then switching up to needing their older brother, so he doesn’t really mind most of the time. Though he does think mc can be.. a little annoying, but there’s nothing he hasn’t seen when each of his brothers are all uniquely problematic. so typically when mc comes into his office silently, carrying headphones, or a book, or a sketchbook, he just motions for them to take a seat in one of the chairs he has in there as he turns back to the paperwork he was filling out. which they both just sit in silence as mc unwinds in their own way. Though mc makes sure to make it obvious they don’t do this bc they enjoy being around him,

“you know this doesn’t mean anything. Right?”

“of course mc,”

Though he smiles a bit when they aren’t looking.

with the other brothers I could imagine it just feels like another belphie is around whenever mc needs to chill, cause despite being such a loud and obnoxious creature, mc still somehow manages to sneak around so quietly that they wouldn’t have even realized they entered the room. honestly, maybe it’s just a me thing, but I think Beel would be one of the best people to just relax against. Like, I can only assume he runs pretty warm, and no one in the world could convince me he isn’t pudgy in a lot of areas, so he’s comfortable. And he doesn’t mind in the slightest! He’s used to his brother sleeping on his arm, so why would he care about mc doing it to? And he’s very good at sitting in silence…. However the constant chewing would probably add to the overstimulation lowkey, so if Beel is mc’s chosen unwinding person for the day, they might need to bring their headphones with them. belphie may also be a very good chilling out person, I could totally imagine he’d be a great weighted blanket if that’s what mc needs in that moment, if mc is also on the chunkier side he would also very much so look forward to it. To him it’s just like laying on a pillow, so he doesn’t mind in the slightest!(though he’s such a heavy sleeper I don’t think he’d care if mc was a bit on the skinny side, honestly any discomfort will be forgotten the second he closes his eyes lol) though I’m sure he’d be asleep for way to long and mc may have to fight to be freed of him, so if mc decides they need their living weighted blanket and they have plans later.. they’ll probably have to cancel their plans cause they’ll be there till dinner.

I think the most optimal people for mc to hang around would be the older three tbh, Luci would know when mc just needs silence and he’s more then happy to give that to them as long as they reciprocate said silence. mams would probably be baffled the first time he just finds mc hanging out in his room, either drawing or taking a nap, but he makes sure mc’s peace isn’t disturbed, like he’d actually be willing to fight off his brothers at the door because he know his human needs their silent reading time. So there’s no way in the three realms he’s going to willingly let their peace be disturbed because asmo wants to go shopping or the anti Lucifer league wants to plan a prank! They can forget about it until mc is ready! And honestly, Levi would probably be the greatest, he knows what getting overwhelmed often is like so he understands that mc just needs to do their thing.. but he is absolutely honored and crying on the inside because they chose him!! So he makes SURE his room is in the perfect condition for mc to hang out in, he gets his good headphones out so then mc can’t hear his game or anime, he lets them know they have free access to his mini fridge(he totally has one guys idc if it’s canon or not, he literally lives in his room he totally has a fridge of snacks, soda, and water) and he’d probably very shyly get them a sketchbook, or a box of yarn for crotchet, or literally anything they usually do when they need to relax that’s just in their own spot in his room. though giving the other two some love, I know that asmo would absolutely do some like, calming skincare face massage stuff, basically if mc needs a silent spa day amso is absolutely willing to do such a thing with them! And though he understands that’s not what they always need, he does get a little bummed when mc doesn’t go to him for detoxing. But he gets it! Go to ur thing pookie!! and with s8n, he’ll always have a book and a spot on his bed for mc when they need it, he’s good at being quiet and obviously he wouldn’t need to fight anyone off from entering his room, since it’s the same deal as luci’s office. Unless someone has a death wish, they’ll stay out of his room, even if mc is in there.

[theriverbeyond]

#SPOILERS

ok so I watched arcane s2 act 1 and my immediate reaction is mostly mixed -- I think there was gorgeous art and strong individual emotional beats but I think it all got watered down by everything else -- I did LIKE it, I guess (?) and am reserving full judgement for the whole season until the next 2 acts release, but yeah.

warning for SPOILERS and also critiques below:

the deluge of new characters I have no reason to care about, and whom i am given no specific reason to care about (besides the itty bitty one, and that's just bc they are a child) does not hit. I dojt get it. why are these people special or chosen for the strike squad. they're just randos, and fangirls and one of them is a random dude you all seem to have grabbed off the street (?) also who tf is amara. was she even in season 1 at all?

the integrated music videos felt significantly LESS integrated this season than the last. last season it felt like the "music video" segments were just like.... really well done and stylized parts of the show, here they feel more like clipshows or standalone music videos during which the actual show takes a pause. some of them do advance the plot and all are gorgeously done but like, I dunno. feels a bit much, honestly, especially in a show that NEEDS to be incredibly economical with its time

relating to that, it feels as if nothing really happened at all besides setup, and I guess that was perhaps narratively necessary, but using THREE episodes of a 9 episode season to set up the plot feels..... REALLY wasteful, especially when i feel like those 3 episodes didnt have a tight plot OR tight character focus. everything feels very loose. the timeskip between s1 and s2 is like.... idk! why did we skip that. why didnt we just skip farther. how is Vi suddenly beloved by topside those bitches hate her!!! anyway. there is a lot happening and a lot being set up and, as i said before, a LOT of new characters being introduced and I'm not very emotionally invested in most of them. The differences between act 1 s1 and act 1 s2 are feeling incredibly stark right now.

To me, Arcane has always been a character driven work, so I can forgive it of plot issues if the emotional focus and character arcs are strong. I.... didn't feel that here! and even the big character moments didn't quite hit. for me. like ok CaitVi kissed. but like. they've known each other for a week? Why are they acting married? The most resonant and emotionally intense part of the CaitVi arc in act 1 was when Caitlyn HIT HER with HER GUN, in a way that felt deeply reminiscent of how encorcers probably hit Vi when she was in prison. And that was like at the very end. sorry but the kiss just did not hit for me. sorry. so sorry. you can kill me with Hammers if yuo want to

A lot of characters seem to be making plot centric decisions that simply do not feel within their character. Vi becoming an enforcer -- I literally do not care about the game, it is emotionally inconceivable for show!Vi to do be super down with gassing the undercity. Jinx and Sevika suddenly being buddy buddy is weird, even thought i LIKE it, it just feels.... fast. Jinx's arc, emotionally, feels the best and most consistant, and I feel like there's so much setup happening it isn't given the space it needs to breathe. Caitlyn becoming a facist is like.... fine, I guess. I really like the emotional conflict this inserts to the story but again it just feels inconsistant with her lifelong characterization as someone who is out of place on the force. also didn't she actually get fired lol. why is there a Kiramann supercomputer.

a lot of stuff just feels emotionally really off. Cait going wild with anger in her grief is fine, but then it feels.... bad that the redhead bitch who's CHILD Jace KILLED last season is a villian for wanting revenge also? maybe this is just an inherent weakness of the genre. or the source material. or whatever. i mean season 1 was pretty enforcer-critical at least in the first 2 acts. sorry for wanting a story made by people with money to be consistant in its negative framing of cops :/

l am deeply confused about the Noxian angle here -- I think it serves a meta narrative function of giving Topside and Bottom (aka, all the characters we care about, who hate each other rn) a common enemy to rally against, but there is just. a lot going on, honestly. too much? only time will tell. this all makes me deeply concerned/curious about the governmental system of Piltover though. why is Caitlyn like the town King now. why are they not electing new councilors.

don't even get me started on viktor being undercity jesus

Anyway. things I liked: the opening, especially its contrast to season 1. Jinx & Vi's fistfight was incredible I just wish Vi felt more emotionally consistant BEFORE it happened. I really LIKE jinx being given essentially a second chance in the form of saving and caring for a child in a situation that puts HER in a reversed position from her youth. like OK it definitely feels way out of left field but like, that's fine I guess. I like what they're doing with the kid. the art is gorgeous as always. I love how the enforcer squad is represented like hunting hounds, coming out of the gas. unfortunately i think their gas masks are wildly erotic. anyway. what was i saying?

that's my immediate thoughts. I'm definitely open for comments/explaining, but i really don't like the "it makes sense if you play the game/pay attention to LoL meta" kind of explanations I see thrown around -- it's a narrative weakness to be relying on viewers to know LoL lore, especially on the heels of season 1, which didn't need viewers to know anything.