#which made me feel hype as hell

[hyperfixated-homo]

have you guys ever gotten such emotional whiplash from two songs that you just need to sit there for a minute to process it?

[hvllevator]

MDNI, 18+

churchboy!mark always wanted to save his virginity until marriage. he was always keen on the idea of falling in love, graduating college, and then eventually getting married to the love of his life. it was all set in stone until he met you.

here you were, climbing on top of his body and setting your legs on either side of his thighs. his body pushed back to the soft mattress that engulfed his body. he propped himself up with his arms, breathing heavily as you placed soft kisses on his jaw, slowly trailing down his neck.

“fuckkk, y/n.” he breathed out as your hands slowly made their way to the waistband of his pants.

“tell me if you want to stop.” lifting your head up to face him, he quickly shook his head, no way in hell was he rejecting this hot girl sitting on top of him. pecking his lips, you reassured him with a sweet smile. “good boy, markie.”

mark let out a groan, lifting his body so that he could wrap his arms around your waist. pressing your lips together in a passionate needy kiss. you tasted like heaven. in swift movements, you were both stripped out of your clothes. his eyes taking in every inch of your body, his cock pressed against his stomach from the view in front of him. you pushed his body back down onto the bed, biting your lip at the sight of him practically drooling beneath you.

“you're so fucking hot.” feeling shy from his compliment, your hands reached up to cover your face, but his hands caught your wrist before you even got the chance to. “don't hide from me, pretty girl.” your eyes shifted to his, his cheeks flushed and beads of sweat gathering at his forehead. 

you leaned down to plant another kiss on his lips, your hand making its way to his cock which he moaned to when your thumb glided across his tip, precum spewing out. you looked at him for assurance, and once he gave you a nod, you lifted your body and lined his cock to your pussy, slowly sinking onto him. 

mark let out breathy shakes, his eyes watching as his cock buried into you. his mind was clouded with all different kinds of unreligious thoughts, cursing himself for waiting this long. you were so wet and tight all for him. his hands reached for your hips, holding you in place as he tried to take in the new sensation he was feeling. “are you okay, baby?” placing your hands atop his heaving chest. 

“shit, it feels so good, oh my gosh, you're so tight.” he moaned out as you slowly started bouncing on his cock. you found it cute how he can curse but refused to use the lord’s name in vain. “w-wait fuck, y/n, i might cum.” his hand gripped your hips.

“it's okay, baby, take your time.” his mouth agape as he guided your hips up and down his cock. you let out a whimper at the feeling of his cock hitting you in all the right places. he nearly choked when you started picking up the pace again. his hands left your hips and found their way towards your breasts, hands squeezing your perky tits as they bounced along while you rode his dick.

mark’s brows furrowed as he felt his stomach contracting, you can feel his cock throbbing inside you. you leaned down and latched your mouth on his neck, leaving soft kisses while you continued to ride out his high. he whimpered when you started grinding your hips against his cock instead of bouncing on it. “y/n, i-i’m gonna cum, please.” he cried out. his heart beating so fast from the intensity he was feeling. he felt you clench around him, signaling that you were close and this brought him over the edge. he gripped your hips, pulling you off of his cock as he felt his orgasm, his warm cum spilling all over his dick and stomach.

you placed your hands against his sweaty chest. sending him a smile before leaning down and pecking his cheek. “now i understand the hype because holy shit.” he breathed out which made you laugh.

[a-little-ray-of-fantasy]

An analysis on how Sir Pentious' character design represents his personality and development perfectly (beware of Hazbin Hotel spoilers)

Let's get this out of the way: Sir Pentious is a snake, an animal mostly known for generally believed negative traits such as poison, deceit and betrayal. We don't know WHY he's in Hell, maybe he was a "snake oil salesman" considering he comes from the Victorian times and he's into hyping up what he does, or maybe he was into war. Thing is, he's a Sinner whose design just scream "Evil".

(BTW, a snake could also represent "fertility": looking at you, Egg Boiz!)

He always had eyes all around him not just because of a stylistic choice.

Sir Pentious always felt like he was watched, and had to watch out for any danger.

"Everyone here is too nice: obviously it must be a lie! I can sense they are planning to kill me, but when?! HOW?! I must be PREPARED!"

Sadly, he's been constantly berated by other demons, far more effective in destruction, status, cruelty and charisma. Alastor won't ever bother to remember him, Cherri always ones up him, and the Vs, the ones he admires to most, won't care less about him.

To the point that Vox sent him as a spy without the intention to save him if things were going to fail. Heck, he even openly tells him to die while calling him a failure.

So of course he's got reasons to have trust issues, or taking everything so seriously, being constantly reminded of what he can't accomplish. So he puts an air of grandure that may be very flamboyant, but is VERY frail.

But, if we have to be frank here, his biggest source of insecurities... is himself.

He has eyes on his tail (his softer, more vulnerable side, which is ironically made even MORE lieable to getting hurt because of how sensitive those organs are), and inside his hood, so he could look out better for danger when on alert mode.

Heck, even the mark on his hood kinda resembles one eye.

Problem is, when you see his hood folded, when he's at ease, neutral or sad, those are not looking at outside sources.

They're looking at him, at his back. A constant stare that happens everytime he lets his guard down and shows how vulnerable he is. A gaze that can sense all of his weakness, his struggles, his insecurities.

And it's all him.

Pentious constantly believes that his inferiority complex will fade away once he'll accomplish something grand that will make others accept him. But he is his biggest critic, his worst enemy: HE is the one who believes he's a failure, that he'll never gain approval from others.

This show takes place in Hell, but this is Sir Pentious' personal Hell: insecurity born out of self hatred. Doomed to feel everyone's gaze upon him, including his own. Believing the danger to his self esteem is from others, when it's really from him.

But then he's accepted at the Hazbin Hotel: Charlie forgives him, he bonds with Angel, Husk and Niffty who don't care a bit about what he's accomplished or not, or what he's done in the past.

He feels more comfortable in showing his vulnerable side, and no one judges him for how easy it is for him to get emotional.

Of course he's still very insecure, considering how he struggles to confess to Cherri, but notice how he stops building machines or planning to attack others as soon as he starts bonding with the others: he doesn't have a reason to destroy or attack, now that he knows he's loved.

And his final design, when he goes to Heaven, shows how much he's changed, yet stayed the same. He may have died a hero, but he's still the same awkward snake we've come to love.

Speaking of love, let's talk about that!

No more eyes on his tail, now it's just on his chest (showing he's opened his heart), his glasses are now heart shaped, and even the markings inside his hood resemble kiss marks more than anything else.

And look: the mark on his hood is now heart shaped!

Why all these hearts? Why did all the eyes disappeared from his body? Even his eyes that were looking at his back?

Simple: love. Love defeated his insecurities and self hatred. He died for love.

He died protecting his friends, his new family, his new home.

He confessed and kissed Cherri knowing full well he wouldn't have made it, and yet he went anyway.

The usually cowardly and timid Pentious actually faced a great danger with courage and determination: he acted selflessly by putting himself in harm's way, he didn't steal (naturally) and by going against Adam he did indeed "stick it to the man"!

He used his weaponry knowhow and battle experience not to conquer, but to save his loved ones.

His only thought up until his demise was: "I'll go down protecting them".

And he's been rewarded not only by becoming an angel, but also being spawned directly in front of Emily and Sera, two Seraphim, the highest rank for an angel to have, who have also been depicted as snakes of fire throughout history! Sir Pentious, the lowly demon considered a failure by everyone, actually has been noticed by the Seraphim! He's come so far!

He's now come to represent the REAL symbolism of a snake: the duality of death and rebirth, transformation and immortality (ironically a reference to the fact he's been around since 1888 without ever dying from any Extermination or blessed weapons).

And isn't so poetic that a snake, the "source of the original evil", was the first sinner to ascend to Heaven? Or that this episode was released on February 1st, or National Serpent Day?

And of course, as the Bible itself says:

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

(John 15:13)

And knowing him, I'm confident in saying he'll keep helping his friends even in his new position, like the soft hearted noodle he's always been, but was to afraid to show it up until now.

[thefirstimagifabricator]

heheheehee look i put a title

mmmm maintenance/updates to header subtext bc wow who would’ve guessed but things fucking change lol

that was the old now this is the new

also some shit just was missing not like new addition things or wtv lol

[yung-notorious]

8 WORDS WHEN I THINK ABOUT US IS FUCK ME, FUCK ME, FUCK ME, FUCK ME! — ♡

— crammed up in the backseat of his car, he just can’t get enough of you — feat. satoru gojo

+18 MDI. WARNINGS. baddie!reader x college!gojo, never lose me chapter 4, unestablished situationship, rough makeup sex, latenight drives, fast food drive-thru’s, hotboxing, unprotected sex, car sex, blowjobs, fingering, squirting, begging, almost cream pie, gojo’s character is questionable. notes. word count 8k, apart of a larger body of work but can stand alone as a one-shot. read entire work here on ao3. comments likes reblogs all appreciated 💕

You’re pissed honestly, all the way fed up with Sukuna and his stank ass attitude. You’d be FaceTiming the group chat right now telling them what just happened if they weren’t out drunk off their asses. But you can't, so someone is going to have to hear your mouth and it’s going to be Satoru whether he likes it or not. You’re not playing this time, enough is enough.

You don’t even bother signing out before you push through the front lobby doors, the security guard is too busy on his phone to notice you leave and by the time he does he doesn't have the energy in him to stop you. You’ll get an email from housing if he cares enough to report you. It's not like that shits going to affect you in any way though, you don’t even live on campus. Yeah you might get suspended from staying over his dorm if it happens again but at this point you don’t ever want to come back up here again.

It’s dark when you make it outside, chilly with light rain hitting your face and you can’t see which car he’s in with there being a few other cars parked out front with their bright ass LED headlights blinding you. There’s people shuffling out of each one, likely getting dropped off from the bars and you hate having to stand here looking around searching for him.

You take your phone out to text him to ask what car he’s in and not even a second later a car horn honks…you turn to look, and out of all these cars parked up of course he’d be the one in the Audi. You had a feeling he came from money with the girls coming from a private high school, but you were too busy trying to see through the Honda’s and Kia’s, you didn’t even consider him to be in that car.

Walking over, you pull on the passenger side door handle and hop in putting your backpack down. The bottom of your sneaks are wet and you feel icky having them touch the floor.

“You got down here quic–”, he moves towards you in an attempt to sling an arm around and pull you into a hug but you jerk back pushing him away.

“Aht aht, no.”

“What’s the matter with you?” He pulls back. You don’t miss the slight irritation in his voice either. He’s probably confused as hell. One minute you’re hot the next you’re cold, then you’re hot again, you can’t even blame him if he’s mad you’re coming in his car with an attitude.

“Your friend…” you start off, and it’s taking the strength of Joseline off Zeus Network to not start cussing and that’s one strong bitch to hold back from.

“What?” You hate how confused he sounds, he should already know what you’re about to say.

“You need to get him, like dead ass. I’m tired of his mouth.”

“Who?”

“Sukuna!”

“He said something to you?”

“Yes! This is like the second time too.” You throw your hands up in annoyance and he sucks his teeth at that. No shit he said something dummy, you wouldn’t be sitting here talking if he hadn’t.

“What he do now?” He leans back manspreading, like the conversation is already boring him. As if you fussing isn’t worth his time. You really don’t know him well enough to be getting hype and for damn sure don’t know what it takes to piss him off. He might have made a couple smart comments before, but up until now he’s been so patient with you…you probably shouldn’t be picking a fight. But you go on anyway…

“He keeps getting smart with me.”

“Saying what?”

“He came in saying some, fuck you doing here, when he saw me. Like who the fuck does he think he is talking to me like that?”

“I told you to stay in my room, did you say anything back?”

“Of course!”

“Then why are you so upset? It sounds to me like you already handled it.”

“Satoru…yo!” You can’t help but laugh…because oh my god…he doesn't know how fast shit can flip when it comes to you.

“Get your friend…” You start off bluntly, because shits really not a joke anymore.

“Like for real. Because I got an uncle back home that don’t play about me an—”, he cuts you off.

“I asked you the other day if you want me to say something to him and you said it wasn’t that deep. I asked you twice, didn't I?”

“Okay! But that’s ‘cause I didn’t think it was gonna become a problem. Now for whatever reason, he has an issue with me. I don’t know what for, but I know one thing, I don't take disrespect. So y’all both can do whatever y’all want with that information.”

“See, I can tell you don’t have brothers. You’re really mad over that little thing he said?”

“Satoru!” You can’t stress his name enough. What’s not clicking?

“Get your friend please! Because this shit…me and you? Uh-uh, it won’t be happening.”

“What you scared of him or something?”

“Are you!?” You hit back, because huh ? How many times do you have to say it? You can handle Sukuna on your own, but he’s acting like he’s too good to confront him on it.

“Alright. Alright. I’ll talk to him. I got it.”

“Thank you! Like c’mon ‘toru, you're actually cool as shit and I really am starting to fuck with you. I’d hate for some petty shit like that to get in the wa—” he turns his head before you could even finish, you can’t tell if it’s because of the new nickname that rolls off your tongue so effortlessly well or finally admitting to him you feel some type of way…but he’s blushing now…a shade of pink so faint if it wasn’t for the light of the nearby lamp post shining through the windshield you wouldn’t have even been able to see it.

“What, you blushing?” You tease, you’re surprised really, you can’t fucking believe it, that smooth player attitude he’s kept up since you met him done melted away like it was nothing.

“No.” He doesn’t even believe himself when he says it. How could he with the tip of his ears and his cheeks flushed a dust pink.

“Aw you blushing?” You lean in closer to get a better look and all he does is his turn away further, he’d snap his neck before he’d let you catch him. You should take a picture just to really get him for giving you such a hard time not even a minute ago.

“No.” He’s a liar and you can hear it in his voice. He knows damn well he’s blushing and why. You probably shouldn’t have told him you’re feeling him though, that’s exactly when boys take their chance to start acting up. Fuck it though, your player card already gone, you’ll cross that bridge if he ever takes you there.

“Oh my god. Yes you are, you’re really blushing, that's so cute!” You say it in the most fake disgustingly babyish voice possible just to irk him, even reaching over to pitch at his cheek too. You made him fucking blush and he can’t hide it! He’s blushing even more now with the tiniest smile starting to pull at his lips. How fucking adorable is that.

“I’ll talk to him, I’ll talk to him…” he swats your hand away. You go to lean back in your seat, you’ll leave it alone for now but you’re keeping this moment under lock and key tucked away in memory. You finally cracked it. Toru , that’s all it took to make him blush. Boy’s are so easy.

“But you fuck with me now?” He throws a look back at you ready to rub it in, you knew he’d hold it against you. Now you’re a blushing mess too and you know damn well you’re worse at keeping anything off your face. You can’t stand how easy he says it, because now he knows and he’s probably going to tell the whole world. You’re a fool for giving it up, but to see him blush like that was still worth it.

“Just shut up and drive.” You make a face rolling your eyes. He’s going to rub it in more, you already know. Y’all are both evil.

“Nahhh, you fuck with me. You said it. What do they be saying on the 'gram? Stand on it?” He cheeses so big, you love to see him smile, you really do.

“Oh my god…” Your hands come up to cover your face, you can’t help but smile though. He fucking got you back and you just about gave him the tools to do so. You can’t even be mad about it.

“You still want Wendy’s?” He puts the car in reverse to back out the parking space.

“Yeah, I think we can make it.” Wendy’s isn’t too far, it’s right outside the borough, which isn’t too big either. There might be a wait at the drive-thru with everyone outside tonight but hopefully there’s enough people back in the kitchen cooking.

“I don’t know why…but I have the biggest cramp in my back.” He says, shifting in his seat.

“Probably because you be fucking me too hard.” You joke, because yeah your legs are sore too but you’re for damn sure not going to admit that to him.

“Definitely not from that, that was nothing.” He laughs. Alright now! You roll your eyes at that.

“Maybe ‘cause you’re so tall.”

“Maybe…” He shifts again. Aw poor him, probably blew his own back out fucking you.

“All these people outside damn this–”

“Can I put on music?” You ask, you didn’t mean to cut him off, but not having music playing in the background is starting to kill you.

“Yeah, I don’t have an aux cord you have to connect it to CarPlay.”

You move to play around with the entertainment screen trying to connect your phone to it. This car is like a fucking spaceship. You see some of his boy’s and other people's names you don’t recognize in the list of previous connections. Guess your name is on two lists now.

“How do you go out every week? It’s got to be tiring.”

“What makes you say that?

“I don’t know, it seems like you do…”

“Always assuming. But it’s fun, I be with my friends, and we be having a good time. How come I never see you out here?” You’re going through your music library, you don’t know what to put on yet but you do know that you want it to be a vibe.

“Way too busy, and I don’t drink.” Is all he says and you have no choice but to take his word for it. You already know his major is harder than yours, just the intro class alone has been kicking your ass this semester.

“Nah I get it, that’s why I’m not out there now.”

“You could have gone, it was still early when we left the library.”

“You said you wanted to go back to yours?”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t gonna hold you if you wanted to go out.” Oh my gosh…can he shut up and stop playing. Now just act like you weren’t trying to take me back to yours to fuck me.

“Even if I did, I don’t really like what I have on so…”

“What? You looked good as shit when I pulled up.” He says it in such a way as if you’re crazy for even thinking you’d ever look bad a day in your life.

Oh my god…please…you’re going to ignore that.

“You could put on anything and still look good.” He takes his eyes off the road for a second to smile at you, but you’re still ignoring him…you’re like mentally blushing so hard right now.

“You still ain't find anything to put on yet?” He takes a hand and slips it between your thighs, you spread them apart in an attempt to get him to stop but he just moves his hand up further. He's not teasing, just holding you.

“I’m just going to shuffle any playlist.” You hit shuffle on one of Apple Music’s curated playlists and Through The Nigh t by Maeta starts playing. A little too slow for your liking so you hit shuffle again and settle on Offset’s Worth It . A couple more minutes of you two talking about random stuff goes by and y’all are finally pulling into Wendy’s drive-thru, and to your surprise no other cars are lined up.

“What do you want?” He asks, rolling his window down to read the menu. You can’t see clearly from sitting in the passenger seat, you lean over the center console a bit.

“Um…hold on I can’t really see it.”

“What, you wear glasses?”

“Contacts. I didn’t feel like putting them in today…wait can I…” You lean over his lap trying your best to read the menu, you hear him shift to lean his seat back giving you space.

“I’m just going to get what I always get.”

“Hi, just one moment!” A younger woman's voice comes through the drive-thru speaker. You can already tell they’re about to take forever back there. Just as you’re about to move to sit back in your seat she speaks again.

“Hi, sorry! What would you like to order?”

“You can go first.” You say to him.

“Just a six piece spicy nugget.” He says with his customer service voice on.

“Your sauce?”

“Uh...can I do sweet n’ sour?”

“We’re out of that tonight, sorry.”

“Here go the bullshit.” You laugh. You swear this place gets worse than McDonald’s on a late night.

“Just the nuggets then.” He sighs.

“You’re just going to eat them dry?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re freaky.”

“Watch your mouth.” He whispers, slapping your butt when he says it too. Shit…at least it sounds better coming from him.

“And for you miss?”

“Um…okay, do you have cold brew?”

“Ice coffee?” He snickers.

“No…it’s almost three a.m and we’re about to close.” Now you definitely ordered coffee this late from here before but okay girl, whatever you say.

“Okay, can I get a medium strawberry lemonade?”

“We’re out of that too.”

“What!” You huff. Satoru’s laughing now.

“They suck.” He whispers for only you to hear.

“I know…can I just get a sprite and a large fry then?”

“With ice?” She asks, and she’s dead serious too. Satoru’s cracking up now and you’re about to spazz, why the fuck would you want warm ass sprite?

“Yes!” You stress out then moving to sit back down, god you know it’s late and she’s just trying to do her job but is she dumb?

“Is that all?”

“Yes.” He replies back to her.

“Okay, second window.”

“You’re so mean.” He laughs out, hitting the gas to drive the car forward. You dig through your backpack to search for your wallet, pulling out a ten dollar note, the one time you have cash on you and it’s going right into Wendy’s hands.

“Hi, 9.80.” The young woman says as she opens the drive-thru window.

“Here.” You pass him the bill and he takes it, his own debit card already between his fingertips.

“I got it. Thanks though." He hands her his card, giving you the bill back and she moves to process the transaction.

“I was going to pay for it…”

“It’s like ten dollars, It's cool.” He waves you off. Guess money is not a problem for him then, what a gentleman…bare minimum but you’re starting to love it here.

“You forgot to get a drink.”

“Thank you, just a moment.” She hands him his card back.

“Can I share with you?”

“Sure…” You had to stop yourself from making a face at that, he can drink off you but can’t kiss you? Oh the fucking logic.

“You get five sips.”

“I paid for it!”

“You wouldn’t let me!”

“I’m taking thirty sips, just sit back and look pretty.” You’re going to punch him one day…

“You should have got a sweet tea…” he says.

“Ew…with fries?”

“Whaaaa!? Sweet tea is the best.”

“No. Just No.” You shake your head in disgust, how could he drink that? How!?

“You were just about to get an ice coffee, what do you mean!?”

“That’s not the same!”

“You’re right, it’s worse. Freaky ass combo.”

“You’re the freak.” Because ain’t no way he just about ate you off the bone not even an hour ago and is calling you the freak.

“Hell no, you are!” He laughs, and just as you’re about to clap back the drive-thru window opens again with the young woman passing him your drink and the bag of food.

“Thank you, thank you.” He says sweetly to her and she’s charmed. Poor thing, you can’t even blame her. His charm already worked on you too, that’s how your ass ended up here now.

“Are we parking here?” You ask as he hands you the food, you put the drink down in the cup holder.

“No, I got a spot nearby. I wanna spark up.”

“Okay.” You say going with the flow, you could do a blunt with your meal.

Where he ends up taking you isn’t even a secret. It’s a parking lot right behind the old post office building that you’ve been to plenty of times freshman year when you and your then circle of friends were too scared to smoke on campus out of fear of getting caught.

“I’ve been here before.” You say looking around, it’s still dark and creepy out here as before and you can barely make out anything in the distance with his car tints being so dark.

“With who? This my spot.”

“Definitely not your spot.” You say smart, everybody knows this spot.

“Pass me the raw’s in there.” He points to the glove department on your side and you go to open it.

“You don’t have a wood?”

“I think I got one left...you don’t smoke papers?” Digging in the middle console box.

“Not at all…unless it's a King Palm.”

“Y'all girls love those. Only one gas station out here sells them, tired of driving up there.” Damn…what bitch got him complaining?

“You got something flat like a notebook I can use? I gotta roll this real quick.” Finding the backwood pack he pulls a small mylar bag out too that has the bud in it.

“You can use this.” You give him a spiral notebook that you don't care about out of your bag and he takes it, putting it in his lap. Honestly, just watching him roll is making you horny. It isn’t even the action, but the movement of his fingers is what’s doing it for you. He’s licking the blunt now putting it together, you’re watching him like a hawk and he’s letting you, too concentrated on the task at hand. You need something else to look at before your panties get wet.

“You want your nuggets?” Reaching for the fries in the bag, just as you were about to fuck them up you find they’re cold to the touch. Disgusting!

“I'll eat them late–”

“The fries are cold.”

“For real? You want to go back?”

“It’s past three…” You sigh, looking at the time on the dash.

“Damn, you can eat mine then. I’m not that hungry.”

“Thanks.” You say sadly…but you hate spicy food so you roll the bag up and chuck it away. Reaching for your drink now you take a few sips and just as you’re about to speak again your phone vibrates, a FaceTime call from Utahime. You quickly hit decline but she calls right back.

“I got to answer this.”

“Go ahead.” Still busy working on the blunt.

“Utahime, you’re on speaker.” You get out quickly before she says something wild.

“Girl I don’t give a fuck, where you at?” She says, there’s commotion in the background, people around her talking and the noise of the Pandora bracelets she always wears jingling in the microphone.

“I’m at Wendy’s.” You lie, and you hear Satoru snicker.

“You’re lying. I got your location. Who are you with?”

“Why are you so nosey?”

“Nosey!? You told me you were going to be at the library ‘cause you had all this homework to do and not even an hour or so later I see you were over at West!”

“And I did finish, so what’s up?”

“Then why are you not home? Who are you with?” She’s yelling now, too drunk off her ass to hear herself and you have half the mind to hang up in her face again.

“I’m out ‘boutta smoke real quick, mind your business!” You try to turn the volume down but she’s still loud as hell, stupid ass iPhone.

“Bye girl, I know you’re with that fucking boy! Satoru! Bring my bitch home right the fuck now!”

“I’m hanging up.” You end the call right in her face. She’s so dramatic, but you can tell she’s more so upset that you ditched her, not the fact that you’re with him.

“Here.” He passes you back your notebook, finished with rolling the blunt, and to your surprise it’s pearled to perfection. Oh you really do love it here for real now.

“I don’t know how you live with that girl…” he starts, pulling out a lighter to light the blunt then blowing the flame out.

“...she’s got a crazy mouth on her.” He takes his first two hits then passes it to you and you hold it between your finger tips.

“She’s not that bad, she’s just playing.” But he’s speaking facts though, she’s a firecracker when she wants to be but you’d never chop it up with him about it.

“How!? She just cussed you out?”

“She ain't cuss me out.” You suck your teeth, Utahime knows you’ll knock her ass out. Whatever beef they have got him bitching.

“That is one scary little girl.” He shakes his head laughing, you take your hits then pass it back. Reaching for the sprite to soothe your throat.

“I’ll tell her you said that.” You tease, because don’t call my bestie scary or little!

“Don’t. Please. I do not need to hear her mouth.” He begs. You laugh at that because seriously, why is he so fucking scared.

“Then don’t poke the bear.” You joke. He passes you the blunt instead of responding and you happily accept it. Already feeling it in your system, this has got to be Yuuji's stuff, he really does have the best gas on campus. You want to ask what’s the deal between the two of them, all four of them even. But you don’t want to ruin this moment. Men lie so you’ll have to get it out of one of the girls eventually, you know it.

Time goes on as the two of you smoke, he’s rambling on about something his friends got into earlier this morning but you’ve already checked out of the conversation, you don’t give a fuck about them boys. His car is cozy and you feel warm and dizzy high off the blunt so you just let him talk as you sit and watch him with the biggest heart eyes on your face.

He’s so handsome…you could sit and listen to him talk for days. You’d happily play your role as his little listener if it meant getting your homework done and smoked out every night with dick on the side. Every time his hands drop to his lap your eyes travel down with them...you’ll eat his dick right now if you could and the more he talks the more you want too then before you know it you’re leaning in closer.

“What…?” He stops midspeech to look at you.

“Nothing…I’m listening.”

“What I say then?” He sinks down lower in his seat, his legs spreading further apart and wow just wow. You just might be a slut tonight, because the only thing on your mind right now is giving him head. He should know your ass was not listening!

“I don’t know.” There’s no point in lying, he could have been plotting to kidnap you the whole time and you wouldn’t have known.

“Because you weren’t listening.” He laughs.

“So?”

“Why you come closer then?” He tries instead, you can tell he’s baiting you but you’re trying to avoid answering.

“So I can listen.”

“But you’re not…so what’s up?” He takes a hand to lift your chin up to face him and you have no choice but to let him as you lean yourself up on the center console. You hate them so much, you wish cars didn’t have them, he’s still so far away.

“What? Tell me?” He continues pressing, you want it but you don’t want to say it out loud. Communicating…you’re good at it when you need to but when it comes to something like this you clam up.

“Whatever it is…I might already know.” He says smoothly, a challenging look in his eyes and you know better than to look away. You want it so bad. You’re almost there.

“What then?” You say, if he can bait you then you can too.

“You can say it. Stop being shy.” He moves to place a thumb on your bottom lip. Man, fuck it then.

“I want to suck it…”

“Yeah?” He pushes his thumb further parting your lips. He’s such a flirt, you should bite his finger off for it but it’s time to play nice.

“Mhm…” You wrap your lips around it instead, boy’s always tell you how good they look, you hope he thinks the same.

“Don’t let me stop you then…” He lets up off you and that’s all you need to be told to get down to work. He pushes the driver's seat back to give room to slide his pants and boxers down and as you come closer leaning over the center console, you can feel your knees digging into the edge of your seat as you reach to take him in your hand. It’s about to be your first time giving him top and you need to show out.

You don’t know what you like more, the sound of your mouth as you slurp him up or the clacking of your acrylic nails as you work his dick. He’s moaning now and you definitely like the sound of that better than whatever Bryson Tiller track is playing on the stereo.

He’s saying something to you but you can’t make out what it is, you’re too focused on sucking him off. He’s got one hand gripping your hair as you bob up and down, the other still holding the blunt and you pray none of that hot ash gets on you.

“You don’t have to be gentle…” He moans out as you come up to the tip again.

“Huh?” You’re taken aback by that, aren’t you already doing your best?

“Lemme show you...” He moves to hold the blunt between his lips then takes your hand to wrap both his and yours around him. “Squeeze the tip…like this…there you go.” He breathes out, you’re doing just as he directs and you swear you just heard his toes crack.

“Suck it while you do it too.”

Your mouth is back on him and you got him moaning like a bitch now, you might not be textbook smart when it comes to physics but if it’s one thing he can teach you right it’s how to suck his dick.

“Hold on…” he breathes, the blunt leaving his lips as he holds it between his fingers. The hand in your hair is gripping tighter now and you love having it tugged on.

“Fuck— you still want your drink?”

“No.” You pull off. An audible pop sound when you do too. He reaches under you for the cup. Hand still wrapped around his dick, you move to the side for him to get it. Taking the cup he drops the blunt inside and motions you to come back towards him.

Leaning back over you start up again, this time two hands coming to hold your hair up as you suck him. The more he moans the wetter you get and it's tonight you realize you actually love giving head, he’s doesn't even know how lucky he is.

“Pull these down.” He breathes out, moving to tug at the waistline of your pants. They're a tight fit, so they're not coming off easy.

“I got it…” You figure he wants to squeeze your butt while you give him top, so you move to do what he asks. Shimmying your cargos down then taking your shoes off he takes a handful of your ass and brings you closer to him, you’re completely hunched over the console at this point, your elbows digging into his thighs. Just as you’re about to protest being uncomfortable in this position you feel your thong being pushed to the side and his fingers slipping through your wet pussy. He’s finger fucking you like crazy now, didn’t even give a bitch a warning before he does it. Task at hand now lost, your slump over him moaning out his name with your ass tooted up as he continues curling his fingers deep in you.

“Fuck— shit…toru…wait!”

“Uh-uh…” He breathes out hot, slapping your ass on the last syllable too with his other hand. He’s hella deep now, digging dangerously close towards your cervix, you’d go back to sucking him off but your mind is spinning, nothing but the sound of your moans and the squish of your pussy as he fucks his fingers in and out of you is pleasing him.

Your pussy is soaked, sloppier than the mess you made all over his dick and he better stop before he makes a mess he can’t clean up. You can feel it coming on…the pressure of his fingers in you is just too sweet and he’s about to fuck around and find out if he doesn’t quit it.

“Toru…” You moan out, you’re holding onto the side of the car door, grabbing his thighs, gripping his knees, anything at this point to hold yourself up.

“Take it baby…you got it.” He slaps your ass again, he’s been so rough with you tonight and it’s turning you on even further.

“I can’t!” You nearly shout, even if anyone could hear you there’s no one in the parking lot too.

“You can, don’t tap out on me just yet.”

You throw your hair out of your face with that, don’t tap out…it’s fucking hot in here. You’ll die before you cum if he doesn’t crack open a window.

“Wet ass pussy, you gonna let me eat it again?”

“Yes!”

“Or you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes!”

“Pick one.” Bitch…both options sound great. Who the hell are you to choose? You can’t even think straight enough to answer that stupid question, he’s about to make you cum if he doesn't stop.

“Pick one.” He says again, and all you can do is babble out his name, two fingers still curling up in you and you swear by the end of this your pussy is going to be through till the weekend.

“Toru!” That feeling from before is coming back…a pressure that’s building up again.

“Yes baby? I’m listening.” Oh my god that made your pussy sing, the way he talks to you drives you crazy. His dick is rock hard and he won’t stop the pace he’s at fucking his fingers into you. It’s as if watching you come undone is what’s getting him off.

“You know, you’re such a princess when you’re not being mean…” he starts, and your ears perk up at the pet name.

“You cum on my fingers, I’ll let you slide for that lil attitude you had with me.”

“Toru…” You whine out, it’s not cumming that he needs to be worried about it’s—

“Fuck!” You feel his fingers leave you before you know it and you’re squirting all over his hand, down your legs, and onto his car seat. You don’t know if you should be embarrassed by yourself or mortified that you just soiled thousand dollar car seats.

“Shit— Wait wait hold on—”

“Huh?” Is all he says, wiping his hand on the back of your thigh then shifting to lift you up so you move to fall back into the passenger seat, you can feel the spot you soaked right underneath you and it’s fucking gross.

“It’s wet! It got all on your—”

“Get in the back.” He goes to pull his pants back up, then looks at you waiting for you to make a move. You know that look…you’re about to get fucked!

The car is wide enough for you to hop in the back instead of getting out and back in like he has too. He’s in the back with you now, waiting for you to sit in his lap so you move to completely take your thong off and the hoodie too.

“Don’t worry about the mess, I’ll get a detail soon…” He grips you at the waist as he takes you into his lap. His dick is flushed red against his stomach and you can’t wait to sit on it. You move your arms to wrap them behind his neck as you lift yourself up for him to slip his dick into you.

He fucks you nice and rough this time, holding your body close against his chest, gripping your hair and breathing your name hot in your ear while he does it too. Bouncing on his dick like this is going to make you cum quick and he knows it, he's already had you like this before.

“Toru!” You moan out. Getting dicked down in the backseat of his car was not how you thought your Thursday night would go when you woke up this morning. He’s deep in your guts and your mind is going crazy getting fucked down every single inch of him. Your high is already blown, the car is rocking now. This shit is getting wild.

“You still have an attitude?” He breathes out, looking you right in the eye as he says it too. You move to lay your head into the crook of his neck, but he pushes you to lean against the backside of the driver's seat. Your thighs are sore now and you’re scared you’re going to fall but you know he won’t drop you.

“You love this dick?”

“Yes!” You moan. What’s the use in lying acting like you don’t? He grabs your ass then, gripping one cheek in his hand with the other arm wraps around your back as he pushes you closer towards him.

“Show me then.” He slaps your ass, then grips you, letting his hand guide you as he bounces you on his dick.

“Get up when I say…” He moans out, you can hear that he’s close but you need to cum first.

“Oh my god, toru I can’t…I can’t I can’t.” You cry out. With how sore your thighs are you don’t even think you can get up. You hope he’s strong enough to get you off him before he busts.

His hips are snapping quicker now, he’s close and you are too.

“Up. Get Up.” He growls, pushing you up off his dick. Using his thumb he works to rub at your clit and you’re so fucking grateful for it. Looking down you see he’s pumping his dick, cumming all over his knuckles with some of it getting right onto your pussy. You’re cumming too now, thighs shaking as you do. You’re breathless. The hardest you’ve ever came fucking him thus far.

You’re done. You’re fucking done. You can’t take it anymore. You’re done!

“Fuck girl! Damn.” He breathes out, lifting you up to try and push you to the side. Moving over you take a seat next to him, god damn it’s hot in here.

“Check if there’s napkins in the bag. I got…shit I got it all over me.”

“Yeah…” He slaps your ass as you get up to reach for the bag sitting on the floor of the passenger seat. There’s a couple in there, you reach in the bag to pass him a few then lay a couple down on the seat where it’s still damp. Pushing yourself over the console to sit back in the front, you get your pants back on then try your best to get the rest of yourself back together. There’s no point in putting your thong back on, wearing them would feel way worse than the rough fabric of the cargos against your coochie.

Smoothing your hair down you hear him get back into the driver's seat. His pants are back on but he’s looking just as fucked out as you do, if not worse. Drake’s Spin Bout U is playing and he’s bopping to the beat.

Fuck your main page, what’s your Finsta? I wanna know the real you

You started dancin to pay your tuition, girl, I wanna know what you been through

You want a boutique or you wanna sell hair, just let me know what you into

“If you out in public and he want your number, just tell him my man’ll spin you!” He raps, playfully poking your shoulder. Looks like someone’s in a good mood now that they just nutted.

You swat his hand away and just before you can say something smart to him the sound of a FaceTime call cuts off the music, looking at the dash you see it’s a group call from The One’s and he presses the green button to answer it.

“Yoooooo! Gojo, where you at?” It's Sukuna’s voice. Please god, give you a fucking break.

“I’m out.” He says, turning the engine on.

“Out where?”

“He’s at the spot. I’m looking at his lo’ now.” You hear a voice sounding like Choso’s come through.

“The spot? With who? Bet not be with that one girl.” You make a face now…because who are they talking about?

“What girl, the tall one?” Choso asks, and before Satoru can reply Sukuna cuts in.

“Nah the new one.”

“Uhhhh—” His eyes widen at that.

“Her!? Gojo, you start talking to her yet?”

“Talk to her? Man, he already fucked her!” Sukuna laughs and your jaw fucking drops. What the hell! You turn to Satoru now, you’re about to knock his ass out if he doesn’t hang up the call right now but you know better than to speak up in hopes Sukuna doesn’t hear you. Whoever’s on the call is laughing now, you think you make out three voices.

“Man, Gojo…you gotta chill bro. Naoya texted me saying it’s a whole bunch of noise coming from the dorm asking if it’s me, I tell him nah bro, I’m not in there right now. Next thing I know he call me laughing, he's telling me some girl is in there getting cracked and she's loud as hell—”

Oh my god…your eyes are popping out their damn sockets now.

“I tell him nah bro, that’s my man Gojo. Y’all…this fool texted me a video of him standing outside the door recording as If I really want to hear that shit. I swear, something's fucking wrong with that kid.”

They’re all laughing again now and all you can do is just sit there and take it to the chin. Naoya…that furious beast looking mother fucker…ain’t no fucking way this is happening to you.

“Gojo, you got the entire floor group chat jumping with that shit—” Nah, you’ve heard enough, you’re seeing red now so you take it upon yourself to hang the call up.

“SATORU, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!” You scream, god you’re so fucking mad your head is about to spin.

“Why are you screaming at me for I ain’t even do anything!” He doesn’t even sound serious when he says it, he’s laughing…he’s actually fucking laughing

“You think that shits funny!?”

“No no no…It’s not–”

“Bro!? Yes you do! Oh my god—” You need to calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Breathe!

“You sat there and let him say all that shit about me! Satoru I swear to god, I’ma fuck you up, text him right now to delete that bullshit!”

“Alright. Alright. Alright. Chill. Chill. Chill.”

“No! Y’all fucking chill! All y’all do is ran y’all mouths talking about bitches, that’s so fucking childish!”

“What yo!? You probably let Utahime and your friends talk mad shit about us and I don’t say anything.”

“Are you serious!? Satoru, that is in no way comparable to what the fuck they just did!”

“But you ain’t denying it though!”

“What yo!? Shut up! All bitches talk shit about their girl friends hoe’s—” Oop, now you know you fucked up the second that word came out your mouth.

“Oh, so I’m just one of your hoe’s now?” He says sarcastically, his entire demeanor switching at that. You feel bad, but watching his face pull into a sad scowl is kind of funny.

“My bad…I aint even mean it like that.” You can’t hide the amusement in your voice either, the girls are going to piss themselves when you get around to telling them this. He looks pissed too, y’all can call it even now

“Yeah? Then how you mean it?” He puts the car in reverse, backing out of the space to drive off.

“What are you actually mad!?” Because no way he’s in his feelings over this. It was not that deep.

“I’m not one of your hoes.”

Yeah boy, okay!

“Then what are you?”

“You tell me.”

“Coulda swore I already did.” You say smart back, you can tell he’s not really mad, but if he is then he needs to tighten the fuck up.

“Put your address in. I’m taking your lil mean ass home.” He hands you his phone and you snatch it.

Y’all both ain’t shit.

[eloriis]

TRAITOR - carlos sainz

- inspired by traitor | olivia rodrigo

in which . . y/n struggle with the pain of betrayal after a breakup when carlos quickly moves on with someone else, leaving her questioning their entire relationship and the promises he broke.

warnings : a lowkey toxic relationship if u squint ur eyes at a few sentences, ntg else i think?

notes : second fully written work! ‘heather’ didn’t really do as well as i hoped it would tbh :( but i hope this one does better 🤞🏼 and lexi, i’m sorry if i made you cry but ily my hype girl 🫶🏼

and for a person who usually hates angst, i seem to write them the best 😓

plsplspls don’t ask for a part 2 for fics that do not have any info about them being a series.

type : written ⋆ word count : 1.2k

brown guilty eyes and little white lies, yeah i played dumb, but i always knew

that you talked to her, maybe did even worse

i kept quiet so i could keep you

carlos’ big brown eyes were one of the prettiest ones i had ever seen in her entire life. no matter how common brown eyes were, his eyes would always be the ones i would look for in the crowd. i didn’t know the exact day when the eyes she knew she could always find comfort in suddenly became the ones i started avoiding. it all started with little white lies like “i can’t make it to the date tonight, i have to stay late for practice” or “i’m meeting with the boys tonight! don’t stay up late waiting for me”.

those texts never sat right in my heart; they sounded too fake, too scripted. i could never manage to go too deep into her own thoughts about what he actually might be doing with her while i was waiting for him to come back home.

and ain’t it funny

how you ran to her

the second we called it quits?

i could almost laugh through the pain while reading the new article about you and her being spotted by the paparazzi the day after we called finally ended all those years of being each other’s one and only.

and ain’t it funny

how you said you were friends?

now it sure as hell don’t look like it

he always said that they were just friends, that they were close due to a mutual friend. that’s what he told everyone who asked him about her. but all these recent pictures online don’t really make a good argument against them being a couple.

you betrayed me

and i know that you'll never feel sorry

for the way i hurt, yeah

you’d talk to her

when we were together

loved you at your worst

but that didn't matter

feeling betrayed wasn’t an emotion i was well versed in or had been anticipating to be in this life, clearly fate had other plans.

i kept hoping that i would maybe get a text from you, an apology for all those years of my life wasted on making sure you were okay when you were at your lowest and worst point of your life.

all those years wasted. all because you decided halfway that you wanted her and not me.

it took you two weeks

to go off and date her

guess you didn't cheat

but you're still a traitor

two weeks. that was all it took for you to move on from a relationship that lasted for years. everyone says that you guys look so cute together, maybe if you heard that enough before, you would have ended up with her earlier and not have been labelled a traitor in my heart.

now you bring her around

just to shut me down

show her off like she's a new trophy

we finally ran into each other at a bar almost three months after the breakup. the second you saw me, you pulled her by her waist and kissed her right in front of me, showing her off like she was a new trophy.

and i know if you were true

there’s no damn way that you

could fall in love with somebody that quickly

if you were as true to us as you claimed you were, i’m damn sure that there’s no way you could have actually been able to move on so quickly and fall in love with someone else.

ain’t it funny

all the twisted games

all the questions you used to avoid?

was whatever we had just some sick twisted game to you? one that you oh so badly had to play? all those questions that you always seemed to be too busy to answer suddenly came back to me, they seemed harmless at that time, if only i knew.

ain’t it funny?

remember i brought her up

and you told me i was paranoid

remember that one time i brought her name up during a conversation? how you called me paranoid and sick because of how i was villainising her, i had just asked you if she had to stay with us when she came to visit even though she has friends who live here.

you betrayed me

and i know that you'll never feel sorry

for the way i hurt, yeah

you’d talk to her

when we were together

loved you at your worst

but that didn't matter

you left my life without a second thought, and i know that you will never understand the pain of being the one to be left alone while the other moved on like none of it ever existed. you always wanted her in your life, even when i was right there. i stood by you through everything, through your lowest points, but it didn’t change anything in the end.

it took you two weeks

to go off and date her

guess you didn't cheat

but you're still a traitor

you really wasted no time jumping into her arms, as if what we had didn’t mean anything. maybe you weren’t unfaithful, but seeing the way you moved on so fast hurts the same.

god, I wish that you had thought this through

before i went and fell in love with you

when she's sleeping in the bed we made

don’t you dare forget about the way

i just wish that you had thought about what i would do after you decided that you were bored of me, atleast before i fell in love with you.

i want you to remember how we cuddled, cried, laughed, loved and cared in the same bed that she is now sleeping in.

you betrayed me

'cause i know that you'll never feel sorry

for the way i hurt, yeah

you’d talk to her

when we were together

you gave me your word

but that didn't matter

i realize now that you’ll never take responsibility for breaking my heart. you left me behind without a hint of remorse, as if my feelings were never real to you. even when you promised me forever, she was always there, lurking in the background. your words meant nothing in the end, just empty promises that you broke without a second glance.

it took you two weeks

to go off and date her

guess you didn't cheat

but you're still

you’re still a traitor

yeah, you're still a traitor

two weeks was all it took for you to forget us, to move on like i was nothing. you didn’t break the rules, but you broke my trust, and that’s just as cruel. no matter how much time passes, the sting of betrayal lingers. you might think you’re innocent, but deep down, we both know what you did.

god, i wish that you had thought this through

before i went and fell in love with you

if only you had thought this stupid thing throughout, maybe i wouldn’t be in my bed crying over how much loving you and your beautiful brown eyes had taken from me.

[alexthebordercollie]

Ford's autism

K so I don't think I need to defend the interpretation Ford is on the spectrum. People make jokes about him being autistic all the time. We all see it. What I want to do here is sort of connect together some character details and examine them through the lense of my own autistic experiences.

I wanna start with his hands. It's an observation I've seen from multiple people that Ford is insecure about his hands and often hides them behind his back or in his pockets. And yeah, he is obviously insecure about them. He even mentions his six fingers at times when they aren't really relevant to anything. It just showcases the space this physical deviation of his takes up in his mind. And yes, it makes sense that he's insecure about them because he was bullied for them growing up. I want to add to this observation.

Ford would have been bullied regardless.

The problem was never really his hands. When you're on the spectrum people around you can tell that you're weird. Uncanny. Something is different and feels wrong about you to NT people, especially kids. They will pick any shallow superficial thing they can find as an excuse to bully you and justify the sense of revulsion they feel around you but can't articulate. If Ford had been born with normal hands they just would have made fun of him for something else, it would have been his glasses, or the movies he liked, or hell maybe some good old-fashioned antisemitism. Literally, any excuse they could find.

I know growing up I tried for years to change the things about me that I was made fun of for and it never made things any better. The bullying never stopped. "Fixing" things about myself didn't work because the thing that was actually "broken" was something fundamental to who I am. That realization as a kid was soul-crushing. That there was nothing I could do that would ever make me "normal", that would ever make people like me. I felt like an alien born on the wrong planet.

Ford continues to latch onto his hands as a sore spot because they're something simple and obvious he can point to as an excuse for why he's so outcast. He probably knows by this point that the hands aren't actually the problem. I'd argue this journal entry and his comment about "another failed social interaction" shows that he's aware his hands aren't actually the problem. But, it is a lot easier to fixate on those than to dwell directly on that sinking feeling that at the core of you're being you are fundamentally weird, wrong, unlovable. Ford's a genius. If his polydactyly bothered him that much he could have removed the extra digits. The hands aren't the problem, they're a symbol of a more fundamental kind of pain.

Looking at it through this context also makes the gloves Fiddleford gives him an extra sweet gift given what they represent. A kind of wholehearted acceptance of who Ford is and even a willingness to adapt to his unique needs just to show him love and affection. I think something that hurts me so much about their relationship is that Ford had someone who very clearly loved him as is and would have never wanted him to be someone or something else, and Ford was too stubborn to fully appreciate that.

The same is true of Stanely by the by. He never had a problem with his brother being weird. Another relationship with someone who loved Ford as is but who Ford took for granted. He needs these kinds of relationships in his life. People who embrace and accept him for the weirdo he is. He needs them desperately, which gets me to my next point.

Ford's ego. So it's also a common observation that Ford has a massive ego. He's kind of an ass, to put it mildly. But I have had someone in conversation frame it like the pressure to prove themselves was just on Stanley and Ford just spent his whole life being hyped up and told he was hot shit. This isn't true, or at least it's a flattening of his experiences.

Ford was praised for his genius. This is true. But his own father only gave a shit when said genius showed signs of netting material gains for the family. It only mattered cause Ford could be useful. Furthermore, this genius never netted him social acceptance from his peers growing up. He was still a bullied, weirdo, loser most of his childhood. Add that seeing Stanley kicked out would have drilled into Ford's head that if he couldn't make something out of himself his family wouldn't want him either. Stan was an unspoken threat of what this family does to failures.

Gonna bring up my own personal experiences again. Having set the stage for how it feels growing up on the spectrum. That feeling of alienness that you can't really explain. I loved to write and draw from a very young age. Moreover, as I got older I realized that when I drew, people were nice to me. The only time I got social acceptance was when people were admiring or praising me for my art. So I did it more and more, I devoted myself feverishly to my art. I loved it anyway and would have hyper-fixated on it regardless but the positive reinforcement turned art from something I loved to a need. I NEEDED to be an artist. I needed to be the best at my school. I needed all eyes on my work because it was the only way I could make friends. The only way I could prove that I had value. That I deserved a place in society.

I see that in Ford. I see his ego not as shallow narcissism but as an overwhelming need to prove his value as a person. To be loved and accepted and believing that no one will want him if he isn't brilliant. If he doesn't change the world. If he isn't useful. This is also why he couldn't bring himself to destroy his research even knowing it was the safest and most responsible option. Burning down everything he worked for would mean finally giving up on the fantasy of ever being accepted or valuable.

The sad thing is he's so single-mindedly fixated on this personal goal of proving his worth to the world that when people do come along that love him unconditionally he takes them for granted. These people are statistical anomalies in his life. Nice to have around, but not enough to fix the bigger problem. They aren't reflective of society at large. They aren't enough to prove that he, personally, is loveable. Just that on occasion he meets another weirdo. For a while it's nice. Like a campfire in a barren tundra. But he has to keep moving, he can't stay. Warmer lands are ahead if he can just get to them. If he can just keep moving.

This also is why Ford was so susceptible to Bill. Bill told Ford what he wanted to hear. That he was destined for greatness. That, the fundamental wrongness he felt all his life was something incredible other people just couldn't see. Bill promised Ford exactly what he wanted, but not what he actually needed. Ford never needed the world at large to accept him. He just needed a few good people.

I also think his chemistry with Bill was connected to his autistic experiences as well. Bill is literally an alien. There's no pressure to mask around him. To try and "act normal". Ford can just be himself with Bill and not have to think about it. And sure, he could be himself around Fiddleford, but Fidds is still human. The anxieties of human social expectations are still present. Like when Fidds get him a gift for the holidays and Ford feels a bit guilty that it didn't even occur to him to do the same. He doesn't have to think about these social nuances with Bill.

That said I'm sure Bill isn't what his world would have considered neurotypical anyway. Not that Ford would know that. But Bill was also a strange freak in his own society. Just as outcast, possibly more so. I think Bill sees a bit of his own experiences reflected in Ford. I think he relates to him on a level. Not that he would ever admit it outright due to his own ego. I think Bill's fixation on him after the breakup also stems from Ford rejecting the path that Bill chose for himself. Bill still lives with some sort of deeply repressed guilt for what he did. Imagine how validating it would have been to see someone else like him burn their own world to the ground for the same reasons Bill did. But no, Ford's a better man than him, and Bill can't stand it.

Ok, I don't know how to end this long-ass monologue so I'm gonna call it here I guess. I just wanted to spill some thoughts of mine about Ford as a character. If anyone else wants to add to this with other examinations of Ford's character through this lense go right ahead. I'm just saying as an autistic person myself I understand every choice Ford made. I could relate to why he did the things he did even if I know those were mistakes and even acknowledging that he's kind of an asshole. Ford is a strange man who makes an eerie amount of sense to me.

[doodler16]

If you asked me during the hazbin hotel pilot era who my favorite character was, it be Alastor 100%. He unironically stole the show with his mystery (if the pilot didn’t have Vaggie lore dump unnecessary I would’ve enjoyed a bit more), personality, voice, charisma, and heck even his design especially his consistent smile intrigued me. Even the way he interacted with the entire cast made me excited.

So what do I think of Alastor now? Alastor to me is a loser, unironically an attention whore in terms of screen time and merch, an egotistical, petty person, and a man child edgelord. He lost most of his mystery and charisma throughout the show (though I will admit I am interested in his backstory but I won’t be surprised if he, himself has daddy issues. And, I did find some of his jokes funny).

The pilot portrayed Alastor as this powerful overlord who didn’t care about his status which made him so unique. He wasn’t gloating about how he’s the radio demon about to end your fucking life. Alastor in the pilot was subtle. At the snap of his fingers he destroys Sir Pentious with no hesitation and no exchange of words. Meanwhile, Alastor in the show has to blab and go this tangent of how sloppy, slow, and unprofessional Adam is only to get his ass handed to him.

Alastor in the show frequently mentions his status and gets pissy when most don’t care that he’s back or straight up not recognize him. Meanwhile, in the pilot you will notice that it’s the opposite, Charlie (the princess of Hell) and Vaggie are freaking out that Alastor is here at their door. It truly shows much power and control presents in the pilot without even trying.

The thing that disappointed me the most was his lack of interaction with the main hazbin squad. It was the driving point of why I was excited for Alastor and how his involvement was going to shake up the hotel for better or worse. Only to find out He barely interacts with them and I’m supposed to “care” when the most of cast members hug and get excited that he is alive in episode 8.

Speaking of the hotel, he barely contributes much regarding the hotel and fucks around. Like I was expecting him to at least help Charlie and Vaggie brainstorm activities for the sinners to do or even take control in his own of how he would handle Angel dust and Sir Pentious. Heck or even go outside with Charlie and Vaggie to promote the hotel to other sinners via singing and cause some drama/mischief along the way. Specifically talking about the hotel, the only things he did was do the commercial, fix the walls, and protects the hotel twice. But That’s it.

As I mentioned earlier, Alastor is an attention whore in terms of stealing the spotlight in the actual show and being in most episodes, which may be good for Alastor fans. They got the full course meal but Vivziepop needs to focus on other undeveloped main characters who desperately need the attention and development. Which why Alastor should be used sparingly, this would also make the audience more interested with him and creates more mystery.

For example: Episode 5, Dad Beat Dad: you would think the episode would focus on Charlie and Lucifer’s relationship which it does for a small portion but we also gotta have Alastor in there so he could drop the biggest F bomb to Lucifer to show that he means business and hatessss him. We also gotta dedicate a 2:30 minute song duet between the two men having a pissing contest, along with our home girl Mimzy being a plot device/prop for Alastor in order to HYPE HIM UP and tell his origins. Because Alastor soooo mysterious and such a hunkkkk. Oh yeah, Charlie is there I guess…

Also, Alastor’s smile in the show bothers me personally, more specifically the way it’s drawn. It’s to jaded and sharp, so it’s pretty obvious to tell how he feels and emotions Alastor goes through. Meanwhile, in the pilot his smile and energy is so goofy and I miss that. That really added to mystery because not only keeps you on your toes but you don’t know what’s on his mind for the most part or his long term goal.

This is by far my longest post and I wanted to get this off my chest regarding Alastor. 😭

[honeyedmiller]

Checkmate | Joel Miller

pairing: dbf!joel x f!reader

warnings: dbf!joel, age gap (reader is late 20’s, joel mid 40’s), reader is depicted as shorter than joel but otherwise has no other physical description (picture in mood board is for aesthetic purposes only), mutual pining, making out, smut (thigh riding, brief mentions of f oral receiving, unprotected [bc] piv, slight cockwarming, riding), reader’s best friend’s name is hailey, no use of y/n. 18+, minors dni.

huge thank you to my baby @party-hearses for beta reading this for me. i love you to a million pieces 🖤

a/n: also this is my 900 follower celebration?! i still can’t wrap my head around the fact that so many people follow me and enjoy what i reblog / write. i love u all so, so much. i also feel kinda bad bc i hyped this one shot up a lot only for the smut to not be that descriptive, but this is more about joel and reader’s feelings than what they essentially do with each other. hope y’all still enjoy it :’)

word count: 4.6k

synopsis: you and your dad’s best friend play a dangerous game, and one of you ends up losing faster than you both anticipated.

dividers by the lovely @saradika

You wiped your sweaty brow on your forearm as you lugged a fifth box into your new apartment. You’d finally saved up enough to move out of your parent’s place. Your master’s degree had paid off after all, landing you a job in the heart of Austin, Texas. You were only a thirty minute drive from your parent’s house, which your mom totally loved. She couldn’t wait to help you decorate your place and hand you down the pots and pans that’d been in the family for quite some time. 

The move wasn’t necessarily a tough one, because you were ready to get out of your parents’ hair. You all got along well, but you were dying for your own privacy and space that you could call your own. You couldn’t be happier now that you had it. 

In the midst of the move, your dad insisted he’d phone his best buddy, Joel. You’d only heard about him a handful of times while you were away at college, and in the months you’d been back with your parents, your dad always went over to his house to watch sports or hang out. When the whole family was invited over to his house for barbecues, you always found yourself either already having other plans with your friends, or you were working. Today was finally the day you’d meet the mystery man that is Joel Miller. 

And that’s when you saw him. Tall, broad, ruggedly handsome, body clad in an army green shirt that showcased his biceps and veiny forearms, dark jeans that showed off the muscle of his thick thighs, and scuffed up boots from plenty of days, weeks, hell–months of hard work that added an inch or two to his already towering height. 

He must’ve been in his forties if you had to guess. His dark brown hair was dusted with slight specs of gray, the  scruff on his jawline mirroring the hair on his head. His nose was strong, and was perfectly fitted with his face. He had dark brown eyes that were kind yet held some kind of sternness—a look that made your panties easily dampen. His mustache framed his lips that were pursed into a slight frown, and you couldn’t help but wonder what they’d feel like all over your body. 

He looked at you just the same, all but hungry eyes roaming your body as he caught a glimpse of you for the first time. Like a damn deer caught in headlights. 

He was your dad’s best friend?

Oh, you were truly, utterly, royally fucked. 

You introduced yourself to him and he shook your hand, the calloused pads of his fingers meeting your soft skin sending a string of butterflies through your stomach. 

You genuinely don’t think you’d ever been this attracted to someone at first glance. 

After he and your dad helped you move all of your stuff into your new place, you’d concluded two things: one, Joel Miller was a man of very few words–at least, around you that is, and two: you were sure he was attracted to you just as you were to him. 

Was it so wrong to want someone a little bit older? Perhaps not. What was wrong was that he’s your dad’s best friend. You shouldn’t want someone like that. Someone you were absolutely sure could handle you in the best way possible. 

About a month after you’d finally gotten settled into your apartment, you invited your best friend Hailey over a movie night and a glass of wine. You told her about your predicament, to which she couldn’t help but be the little devil on your shoulder and encourage you to go after Joel. 

“Look, I know he’s your dad’s best friend n’ all, but what he doesn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, right?” She questions, legs tucked underneath her body as her lips curl into a sly grin before she takes another sip of her wine. 

“I mean yeah, but I’ve never done something like this before. An older man, who’s closely acquainted with my dad? I oughta be out of my damn mind.” You sigh, rubbing your temple. 

“Live a little, babe. You’ve been a good kid to your parents your whole life. It’s time you do something for you for once and go after it. Make a subtle move on him next time. That might spice things up a bit.” She suggests, pursing her lips. 

“You’re right. But if I make a move and it backfires, I’m completely fucked and I’m moving to the other side of the country.” You laugh exasperatingly. 

She reaches over to pat your thigh softly. “Only one way to find out.” 

-

You hadn’t seen Joel as of late, but you weren’t phased by it. It’d been a really busy couple of weeks at work, and you were joining your coworkers tonight for a celebratory t.g.i.f. drink. 

Hailey was over at your apartment getting ready with you and you both were already two shots of tequila in. You weren’t much of a drinker, but truth be told, you needed this night out. 

“So I’m either between this dress or this one.” You explain to Hailey, and she studies the options you held up for her to thoroughly inspect. It was either between a black satin mini dress with sparkly straps, or a strapless maroon bodycon dress 

“This one,” She points at the black dress. “With your red kitten heels.” 

You toss the maroon dress onto your bed and take the black one off of the hanger, changing into the dress after Hailey goes to pour herself another shot. You slip aforementioned heels on and give yourself a once over in your full body closet mirror, satisfied with your appearance. 

You wanted to look and feel hot tonight, and it was safe to say you achieved just that. Maybe you’d pick up some hot guy at the bar tonight. He may not be no Mr. Miller, but anyone to take the tension of the past couple of weeks away would suffice. 

You were applying one last layer of lipgloss when Hailey’s knuckles rapped on your door twice, head peeking into your bedroom. 

“Uber’s here. Let’s go get fucked up.” 

You laugh at her enthusiasm, hot on her trail as you locked up and headed down to your Uber. 

The ride was only fifteen minutes before you pulled up to the bar that was already packed. You both slipped inside, spotting your coworkers at a table. They were laughing about something when you and Hailey walked up, and they all cheerily greeted you with hugs. 

It wasn’t long before the DJ was playing some line dancing songs, and multiple people made their way to the dance floor to move their bodies. You and Hailey were the only ones left at the table as you laughed at your coworkers trying to keep up with the beat of the song. 

“Mr. Hottie over there has been checking you out for some time now.” Hailey leaned into you, nudging your side with her elbow as she jutted her head toward a man at the bar. 

You felt your body drained of warmth as you saw none other than Joel Miller standing at the end of the bar, sipping on his beer tentatively. His eyes were locked on you, and the stupid butterflies rumbled around in your stomach once more. 

“Hailey, that’s him.” You say, swallowing thickly. 

“Who?” She gives you a questioning look, the drinks she’s had tonight making her mind a bit fuzzy. 

“My dad’s best friend. That’s Joel.” You say, and her eyes nearly bug out of her head. 

“Oh, girl, if you don’t make your move I’ll force you to make one. He’s a fucking hunk.” 

Your eyes trailed back over to him, taking in his appearance. He switched out the green t-shirt for a gray one, dark wash jeans, and the same boots he wore when he showed up to help you move into your place. 

The way he was looking at you made you want to do extremely sinful things with him. Fuck. Now or never. 

“I’ll be back.” You tell Hailey, and her expression brightens up and cheers you on as you slip off of your seat. 

You saunter over to Joel, drink in hand, and you sip on it through the straw as you approach him. He looks down at you amused, eyes nearly black as he scans you from head to toe. 

“You stalking me now, Mr. Miller?” You tease, leaning up against the bar top. 

Joel scoffs a laugh and sips on his beer once more. “Y’think I don’t have something better to do with my time than to see where you are on a Friday night?” He retorts, but it wasn’t mean. You were sober enough to hear the hint of playfulness in his tone. 

“Mm, not really.” You shrug, feigning an innocent smile up at him. 

So you could be a brat. He bet he could fix that attitude in no time. 

He chuckled at his own thoughts, finishing off his beer as he set the empty bottle down on the sticky bar top. 

“You caught me, darlin’. Any woman as ravishing as you is worth stalkin’.” The slight curl of his lip made you smile. You sipped on your drink some more as you watched the patrons of the bar dancing to the current song. Your eyes avert back up to his gaze, and you step closer to him. 

His eyes move down to your glossy lips wrapped around the straw, wishing so badly that your lips were wrapped around something else right at that moment. 

“What brings you here tonight, Mr. Miller?” You ask, reaching a hand out to touch his bicep. His body goes rigid at your touch, and you fear you’ve gone too far so your hand immediately drops. Joel does a quick scan of the bar before wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his sturdy body. 

“My brother’s best friend’s birthday.” He shrugs, and you nod. You felt like a fucking hummingbird with how fast your heart was beating, and you were sure Joel could feel it with the close proximity between the two of you. 

The air became thick and heavy. Your breathing accelerated, looking up at Joel and into his lust-clouded eyes. His grip on your waist tightened in the slightest, and you nearly whimpered as you felt his bulge through the denim fabric of his jeans. 

“Joel.” Your voice was merely a whisper, and he smirked down at you. 

“Care to line dance, darlin’?” He asked nonchalantly. Your eyebrows furrowed as disappointment shot through you. Were you reading the situation wrong? 

“I don’t really know how.” You say, setting your now watered-down drink on the counter. 

“I’ll teach you.” He shrugs, grabbing your hand and dragging you onto the dance floor. He showed you step by step how to move, but your mind was so hazy with lust that you could barely even focus. 

It’d been months since someone touched you in an intimate way, and the burning need and desire was aflame through your body. All you could think about was Joel’s hands and tongue on you as you moaned his name. The thought nearly made you pout. 

“You even listenin’ to me?” Joel pulls you out of your daydream, and you look up at him with half lidded eyes. He was teasing and holding out on you and he knew it. 

His face held pure amusement as he watched you squirm under his stare uncontrollably, fidgeting like a little kid on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to stop by. 

“I’m gonna go get another drink.” You sigh, walking back to the table Hailey was waiting at.

“What happened?” She asks, looking behind you at Joel who was burning a hole in the back of your body. 

“No idea. Guess I’m not getting lucky after all.” You shrug with a disappointed huff of a laugh. You looked back to see if Joel was still there, but he seemed to have disappeared. 

You grabbed your purse and made your way to the bar, leaning over it. The back of your dress rode your thighs significantly, barely covering your ass at this point. Before you could get the bartender’s attention again, you felt a hand on your shoulder pull you back and press you into their body. You were about to mouth off on this person before you realized it was Joel. 

“Fuck, c’mon.” His hand slid down to your wrist, gently tugging it. You looked at Hailey as you started to follow Joel and pointed at him discreetly, and she gave you a thumbs up. 

Joel led you out into the cool air of the night, immediately chilling your whole body. Goosebumps raised onto your skin as he led you to his truck, your heels clicking against the unevenly paved asphalt. 

“What are you doing, Joel?” You ask as you stop in front of a dark truck. 

“I’m about to give us what we both want.” He said before trapping your body against his truck and between both of his strong arms that landed on either side of you. You cocked an eyebrow up at him, eyes and lips glossy underneath the dim parking lot lights. 

“Can’t believe I’m fuckin’ doin’ this.” Joel murmurs before leaning down, smashing his lips with yours. You moan softly into the kiss, carding your fingers into his longer locks. You give the ends a slight tug and he moans into your mouth. You feel the arousal pool in your panties and your untouched core starts to throb. You whine into the kiss, and Joel takes that as an opportunity for his tongue to invade your mouth. 

He tastes like mint now, probably having popped an altoid in his mouth before coming back to get you from the bar. His hands travel downwards and find purchase on your thighs underneath the dress, rubbing circles into your soft skin. He starts to rut his hips into yours, the bulge in his jeans catching onto your clothed clit deliciously. 

“Joel, please.” You choke out as his lips disconnect from yours, hot kisses traveling down your neck and onto your collarbone. 

“Please what, baby?” He asks, voice raspy and muffled as he breathes against your neck. 

“Need you. Fuck, please, just touch me.” You don’t care how desperate you sound to him at this moment. His touch left a trail of flames everywhere his hands landed, and you couldn’t get enough. 

Joel wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you away from the back door of his truck, opening it and helping you slide in. He got in right after you, closing and locking the doors. Your chest was rapidly heaving up and down, trying to catch your breath from the intense moment. 

Joel didn’t give you much leeway, though, because as soon as he spread his legs to get comfy in the backseat, he was pulling you on top of him. You closed the gap between you two this time, rutting your hips forward so your heat sat right on top of his bulging crotch. He groaned lowly, looking down to where your dress had ridden up. He saw your pink lace panties that you had on, and god were you grateful you chose to wear those tonight.

Joel hummed in appreciation as he slid his calloused hands up the smooth skin of your thighs, looking back up to meet your gaze. Your lipgloss was nearly gone off of your lips and onto Joel’s, and he had to admit he liked the sticky cherry flavor. 

“Your daddy would kill me with his bare hands right now if he saw what I was doin’ with his darlin’ daughter.” Joel chuckles, shaking his head. 

“That’s why he won’t find out,” You shrug. “Besides, I’m a grown woman. I can make my own decisions and decide what I want… and what I want is you, Mr. Miller.” 

Joel raises an eyebrow and huffs a small laugh. “That right?” He questions, grip getting slightly tighter on the soft flesh of your thighs. 

“Mhm.” You nod, hand cradling the back of his head. 

“What we’re doin’—this is bad.” Joel chastised, mostly to himself. 

“Relax, Joel. I won’t tell if you won’t.” You twirl the hair at the nape of his neck through your fingers, applying more pressure onto his groin. He grunts in response, adjusting himself slightly as the confinement of his jeans was nearly torturous at this point. 

“Fine. But we’re endin’ this whole hookin’ up thing if anyone gets even the slightest bit suspicious.” He negotiates, and you nod. 

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Miller.” 

Joel chuckles and shakes his head, leaning up to capture your lips into his once again. You hum against him, hands moving down to his chest as your nails scratch over the thin fabric of his shirt. 

You start to grind yourself onto him again, and he groans once more before separating his lips from yours to mumble against them. “Use my thigh, baby.” He shifts you onto his left thigh, and you steady yourself on him by gripping his shoulders. 

“I don’t wanna ruin your pants.” You sigh, the pressure of your clothed clit on his thick thigh already providing the tiniest bit of relief. 

“I don’t give a shit about my pants, baby. Soak ‘em for all I care.” He presses his lips to your neck once more, and you shiver at the contact. You’re shy at first, not ever having gotten yourself off on someone’s thigh before. 

Joel senses your hesitation, so he moves his hands back up to your hips and shifts them forward, causing your soaked cunt to glide along his jean-clad thigh. 

You take over yourself, rocking your hips back and forth at a languid pace. Desperate moans are falling out of your mouth as you fist his shirt into your hands, feeling yourself so close already. 

“Joel, feels so-so fucking good.” You whine, head dropping back. Your jaw goes slack and eyebrows thread together, picking the pace of your hips up. 

“Yeah? Such a good fuckin’ girl, takin’ what she needs to get off.” 

“I need you, Joel, please.” 

Joel moved his hands to fumble with his belt buckle and jeans button to take his jeans off in the slightest, finally relieving his erection. You moaned at the sight of his thick cock, pre cum gathered at the tip. You brought your thumb to his slit, gathering the pre cum onto your finger before bringing it up to your mouth to gently suck on it. 

Joel’s jaw ticked, resisting the urge to bend you over the back of his seat and fuck you senseless then and there. Luckily, he had a lot more restraint than he thought, because all he did was just stare at you sucking seductively on your thumb. 

You shifted yourself so you were straddling both of his thighs now, and you grabbed his cock into your hand to give it a few slow tugs. Joel sucked in a breath at your touch, head being thrown back onto the headrest of the seat. You tugged your panties to the side before you ran the tip of his weeping cock through your slick folds, a lewd wetness sounding throughout the cab of the truck. 

You moaned as Joel hissed at the contact. It’d been awhile since Joel had been with someone, so he prayed to whatever god was out there that he’d be able to last. 

“C’mon baby, don’t be a fuckin’ tease.” Joel grunts, fingertips digging into your hips. You look down at him with half lidded eyes as you sank down onto his length without much resistance. 

The stretch was fucking heavenly. Your lips parted as you puffed out a pant and sucked in a breath shortly after, reaching the hilt. 

“So fucking big. Fuck.” You mewl, fingers digging into his shoulders for balance once more. 

“Stay still for a little.” Joel’s voice was strained, sounding nearly pained as he choked out his words. You felt so good wrapped around him that he just wanted to appreciate your warmth. 

Joel slid the sparkly straps of your dress down your shoulders, tugging down the neckline of your dress to reveal your breasts. His tongue darted out of his mouth to briefly wet his lips, large hands moving up to gently squeeze the soft flesh of your chest. 

“So fuckin’ perfect.” Joel whispers, moving his head down to envelope one erect nipple into his mouth while his thumb and index finger toyed with the other. You moved one hand up his chest and to the back of his hair, threading your fingers through the thick locks once more as you pushed his face deeper into your pillowy flesh. 

The feeling of his expert tongue and heavy cock in you was beginning to be too much. You needed him to move, or at least let you move. You weren’t above absolutely begging him until he gave in, but he seemed to have the same idea as his hips thrusted into you. 

You took that as an initiative to move, so you began to slowly glide yourself up and down on him. You sucked in a sharp breath as the feeling of him repeatedly filling you made your legs shake. He took his mouth off of your swollen flesh to avert his gaze to yours, eyes locking as you moved up and down. He moved a hand down to generously rub at your aching clit, causing your cunt to deliciously clench around him. 

“Gonna ruin this tight little pussy. Just you wait.” His voice is throaty and deep, sending shivers down your spine. The dangerous glint in his eye let you know that he was dead serious. 

You wanted Joel Miller to ruin every other man for you. 

That’s how this, the dangerous thing—the game—started. 

You both were determined to win at something that wasn’t even tangible; something so lucrative to both of you that the consequences wouldn’t even fucking matter. 

It didn’t matter as he took over and fucked his hips up into you at a brutal pace, causing you to orgasm violently on his cock within minutes. It didn’t matter when the windows of his truck fogged up and the drag of your fingertips adorned the glass. It didn’t matter when you reassured him he could cum in you because you were on birth control. 

As months went on after that night at the bar, him fucking you up against the wall of his shower or pounding you into your bed or eating your pussy until you physically could not breathe anymore was all that dazed your mind. 

Fuck the consequences. 

None of it fucking mattered. 

Because, over the months, Joel Miller was the kind of man you didn’t mind having in your bed after you two’ve fucked. You didn’t mind when he slept over, or when he wanted to be the little spoon, or when you both went out on dates like a normal couple would. 

The euphoria of it all didn’t last forever, though. You knew it wouldn’t, but the heavy weight and reality of it all came crashing down on you one day when Joel was buried deep into your warm cunt, both of you teetering on the edge of a climax, when your dad came knocking on your front door. Pure panic seized your body and you had to make Joel hide in your closet like a fucking teenager. 

That’s when you realized you both were way in over your head with this whole thing. Getting caught was going to be inevitable if it kept up like this. 

You were eternally grateful that your dad was a man who didn’t hover. He left your apartment after fifteen minutes and when Joel came out from hiding, you told him that it was way too close and it was too risky to keep doing what you both wanted to never put a stop to. You’d silently promised yourself that was the last time with him. 

Joel tried to argue against it, but you put your foot down. That is, until you got slightly buzzed one night and begged Joel to come fuck you. Truthfully, you didn’t even really need the sex from him. It was just a plus. You just enjoyed being around him so much that having him in some way, even if only physically, was to suffice. 

Little did you know, he felt ten times stronger than what you felt. Joel Miller would worship the ground you walked on, if you allowed him to do so. 

He was at your doorstep in no time, pushing you against the wall and kissing you with such neediness as if you’d disappear right beneath his fingertips. You were wearing one of his oversized t-shirts and a pair of panties to which Joel discarded immediately. His thick fingers rubbed against your slick heat, hips bucking to meet the languid pace he set. 

Joel shouldn’t be here.

You promised yourself the last time would be the fucking last. 

And yet, you found yourself willingly shoved up against the wall of your living room by none other than the man you swore you’d stay away from as he leaves hot, fervent kisses along the slope of your neck.

“Joel, we—fuck, we shouldn’t be doing this. We have to stop.”

“Yeah? Not what you were sayin’ when you were practically beggin’ me to fuck you again over the phone.” He grits. He sinks his fingers into your aching cunt, prying a strangled moan from your throat.

He’s frustrated with himself. 

Frustrated that he so easily succumbed to you, allowing himself to wrap himself in the greedy need and carnal desire he had for you. Frustrated that you were twenty years younger than him, and frustrated that you should’ve been off limits.

You were supposed to be off limits, god damnit, but Joel Miller was a greedy fucking man. He just had to have you in a way that nobody else could. 

He really didn’t blame your father if he strangled the man  with his own bare hands if he ever found out what you two did behind his back, in secret, and for months at that. 

Joel knew better. 

He fucking knew better and still decided to get a taste, get a feel, fuck you like no other man had. Something his greed deliciously sunk its teeth into, allowing himself to indulge in the forbidden realm you offered to give him. 

You knew better, too. But you did get one thing you wanted, after all. 

You’d be a fucking liar if you didn’t admit that Joel Miller had officially ruined every other man for you. 

The dangers of the game had sunk its teeth so deep into both of you. It was like the world’s most impossible chess match, and one of you was finally waiting for the other to say “checkmate.” 

 The thing is, Joel lost a long while ago. 

He fucking lost the game. 

He couldn’t stay away from you no matter how hard he tried, and when you called him begging him to fuck you tonight, his need for you practically drowned him in his weakness. 

Joel Miller was not a weak man. You had him under a fucking spell that he couldn’t seem to reverse. 

It’s like you were his fucking kryptonite. 

He was the one that royally fucked in the end. 

Joel wished he didn’t have these feelings that clawed at his fucking rib cage every time he glanced at you, some sort of animalistic creature trying to escape when you were under him, legs spread wide, your warmth wrapped around his cock as he buried himself in you.

Every single time he had you like that, had his lips on you, had you moaning his name like a prayer on Sunday mornings, saw your sweet smile, smelled your perfume that he loved so much, heard your contagious laugh, he knew he lost.

Checkmate. 

tags: @nostalxgic ; @ilovepedro ; @bastardmandennis ; @tinygarbage ; @amanitacowboy ; @holesandlividity ; @planet-marz1 ; @joelmillers-whore ; @cool-iguana ; @janaispunk ; @freakygothgirl ; @survivingandenduring ; @clawdee ; @danaispunk ; @kiwisbell ; @untamedheart81

[jevilowo]

MY OPINIONS ON VARIOUS TF2 SHIPS

For funsies

SCIENCE PARTY:

fun ship, but they're GodComplex4GodComplex and I fear that would only end in disaster

TOASTED SANDVICH:

if there is one heavypyro fan on this stupid baka planet it is me. shout out to menacing quiet individuals who like violence but have a soft side fr.

BLOODY SUIT:

literally The Original toxic yaoi rivals to lovers red blue combo ship. speeding bullet and napoleon complex fans WISH they had our shared update and corresponding voice lines

BATTING HELMET: (scout n solly)

i just think it's really funny trust me on this one guys. have you seen them in the fourth comic it's a constant "yes, and" bit between the two of them. soldier's love language is choking people out.

HIT AND A MISS: (scout n pauling)

like most ms pauling ships, i'm only into it if scout's a cool lesbian. which he is not most of the time.

RED OKTOBERFEST:

AAAAAAAAAAAAA literally the ship of all time save me heavymedic save me. if they don't smooch in the next comic i will become jay pinkerton's personal sleep paralysis demon.

SPEEDING BULLET:

my feelings on it are Complicated. twas my first love (otp) in this fandom, but the overabundance of twinky uwu scout and daddy dom snoipah has built up some resentment on my part. call me back when people stop making up imaginary life problems for sniper to comfort scout over.

NAPOLEON COMPLEX: (Spy n Engie)

literally just rarjack if they were boys and not horses to me and i'm not even an mlp fan. it's alright, just doesn't really stick out to me.

SPYMA:

LITERALLY THE POWERCOUPLE EVER TRULY A LOVE STORY FOR THE AGES or at least the version that exists in my head is. i have so much made up spyma lore it's crazyyy. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with sniper it's quickly becoming my favourite genre of fanart (i have seen at maximum three)

SUPPORT SANDWICH: (spy n sniper n medic)

in my opinion, it is healthy for everyone to have at least one ship they just like bc they think it's hot. for me, that is support sandwich. not much else to say on that the fics are all banging go look them up.

SNIDOS: (sniper n GLaDOS)

hell yeah.

ADMINPAULING:

i used to like it a lot, but timelining implies ms pauling's been working for helen since her mid teens at the latest so i no longer like it. 4chan leaks my beloathed pleaseee don't make them kiss i think it would kill me in a bad way

URINE SAMPLE: (medic n sniper)

there's a lot of werewolf and vampire stuff for these two on ao3 which is pretty fun. and i'm way more likely to find sniper angst under the medicsniper tag than sb and bs which is always a plus.

FRENCH TOAST: (spyro)

have you seen that one animation where pyro gives birth to spy's child and gordon freeman is there at one point. yeahhhh. the ship's pretty cute tho spy would be sooo soft for pyro they'd light his cigarettes for him.

BOOTS AND BOMBS:

THE FORBIDDEN RED/BLU ROMANCE GOES CRAZY I ADORE IT. same team bnb is pretty banging too. bonus points if they're polying up they cule with zhanna.

SPYPAULING:

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE. imagine. spy x pauling. yuri. that will be all.

SWORDVAN:

SWORDVAN MY LOVE!!! idk what it is about demo and sniper together but HELL YEAH TOP 5 SHIPS FR FR. shout out to the guy still writing monsterous intent, they're like single handedly carrying the swordvandom.

TEXAS TOAST:

I used to think "this is cute" but then my friend got really really into it and that hyped me up into "THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHIPS OF ALL TIME" territory. bonus points if they're yuri! shout out to Technicolor California, my current favourite fanfic of all time (it overtook running blind in the interal rankings). oh yeah insert mandatory "no hate to engie and pyro father son dynamic preferers" message here lol.

Ok that's enough I will cover more at some point maybe.

[gh0stly-pages]

Out of Our Minds (Part 1)

Ledger! Joker x f!reader (18+)

CW: just swearing for now :)

Summary: You’re a psychiatrist at Arkham, and have now been assigned to the most recent of Batman’s enemies, the Joker. You’re already barely getting by, but this new patient poses a challenge. If you can get him to show progress he’s getting better, then you might get a raise. If he doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere, then you’ve lost your job. You’re prepared to work extra hard to help him but the Joker is nothing like what you’ve expected. Everyone warns you how he’ll get inside your mind, crawl under your skin.

They might be right.

Next part

Notes: I’m not sure if there’s an audience for this, this is lowkey kinda just guilty pleasure for me, but I hope some other people will enjoy this series :) I’ve always wanted to see a Harley Quinn in the Dark Knight universe, so in this fic, you are Harley (well, similar to her, lol). Obviously there’s no cannon Harley-type character in the Dark Knight trilogy so this is all made up, and I’ve taken bits and pieces from different DC Harley’s, plus their relationship with Joker, so look out for that :) So, just have fun with it, hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time seems to move slower at Arkham.

You adjust your coat, having barely swiped in just minutes ago but already it feels like hours and you’ve only just gone to the main office space and grabbed a cup of coffee. The coffee tastes disgusting, but you’re running off little sleep, so you down it quickly. Even from the office, you can hear the screams, cries, and rambles of the Arkham patients in the distance. You’ve been working here for two years already and still haven’t grown used to the constant roar of madness. You’re not upset over it though. You’re here to help these people, to help make sure the people in your city of Gotham are well. So, in a way, you welcome the noise. But that doesn’t mean you're fond of it, nor does it mean it lets you sleep.

Most people you talk to (which is very few, considering you’re always working) tend to judge you for choosing Arkham of all places to work. And, you’re honest with them, it certainly wasn’t your first option, but they pay well enough so that you can rent a decent apartment and you’ve quickly grown to enjoy the challenge it poses. It’s the higher-ups and the fear of being fired at any minute that makes the job truly a chore at times. But people will be assholes, and you’ve come to accept that.

When you’re done with your coffee, you toss the cup in the trash, grabbing a folder from out of your bag. It holds all your notes and the files of all the patients you deal with. You’ve got quite a few patients to meet with today, each with their own unique problems, their own unique story. You look over your notes, leaning against a wall when one of your bosses enters the room.

“Hello, y/n,” says Robert Dale, hanging up his coat on a rack to the side of the room. He’s a squat little old man who helps manage the asylum, keeping track of all the psychiatrists. He certainly isn’t the kindest of bosses, and you’re sure he only keeps you around because you’ve learned to just go with whatever the hell he and the other big Arkham bosses say. Sure, you can be easily submissive, but it’s that or the streets. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”

You frown. That can’t be good. Everytime Dale talks to you, it’s either to demand, critique, or complain. “Good morning to you too, Mr. Dale,” you mumble.

He takes a deep breath and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “You’ve been watching the news, I presume?”

You nod. Who hasn’t? You live in Gotham, for crying out loud, and there’s almost too much crime to keep track of as of recent. Especially ever since that Batman showed up, some kind of masked hero who you never got the hype over. “Of course.”

“You see all that stuff about…the Joker?”

The Joker. The Clown Prince of Gotham. Chaos incarnated. A rowdy clown criminal facing up against Batman. He had just been caught by the Bat a week ago, and the news had been all over the case, wanting to know where he was sent next. Where he was being held. If he would ever come back… “Yeah, I’ve heard.”

“See, he’s been being held up in Blackgate, but he is now officially joining our little…family.” He said the word darkly, snorting. Your breath hitched in your throat. The Joker? “Anyways, he is a bit of a, and I'm sure you know this, tough nut to crack. He arrived here yesterday, in a solitary, high security cell and we’ve been looking for a proper person to… attend to him. We sent in a few of our other psychiatrists as a sort of test, seeing who he fits well with.”

“Right,” you bring yourself to say, even though your whole mouth feels like it’s filled with sand. The Joker. Here. At Arkham. “And?”

He sighs, running a hand through his graying hair. “Every single one of them left that room different. Some were crying, others looked shell shocked. Batman told us Joker was going to be hard to deal with, but we weren’t quite expecting something of this level. He bends the mind, tries to break you. Twists the way you think until you don’t even know who you are. Gets under your skin. So, let's just say, we’re looking for someone strong enough to take on our special little patient.”

You know where this is going, and even when Dale says the words, your mouth still drops. “I’m assigning you to the Joker, Miss l/n. You’ve always been up for a good challenge, and are very good at listening to our orders.”

Right. So I don’t get fired and end up homeless or working for some crooks. “Mr. Dale, I have other patients I need to attend to today and I have no room to fit in-”

He cuts you off with a wave of his hand. “I have already swapped your ten o'clock appointment so you can meet with the Joker. This is very important, Miss l/n, and you wouldn’t want to fail us, would you?”

As easy as you find it to work with your patients, the higher-ups are much harder for you to manage. “No…”

“Then it’s settled, you’ll be meeting with Joker at ten today, every other day, or more if necessary. You’ll file reports after every session on how your patient is doing, and if we see any progress, well, we may just have to raise your salary.”

Now that catches your attention. You didn’t even know a raise was possible. Especially not for you. You’ve been working so hard your whole life for what feels like nothing but now? Now, maybe all that work will finally pay off. “Mr. Dale, thank you. Thank you so much-“

“Don’t get too excited. If our patient doesn’t show any progress, well… we might have to let you go.”

At that, your entire face falls, your shoulders slumping. “What…?”

“Well, we’ve been needing to make a few cuts on psychiatrists and anyone might be subject to getting kicked.” He smiles and pats your shoulder. “But don’t worry, I have full faith in you.”

His words do nothing to soothe you as your heart pounds heavily in your chest. The toughest patient, all your responsibility, and you have to make him better under a certain amount of time or else? Shit. They were practically setting you up for failure. No. No, you can’t think that way. You’ve dealt with tons of patients, and every single time you’ve managed to get good results. This will be the same thing… “It- it’s a wonderful opportunity, thank you. I won’t let you down.”

He laughs and walks off. “I sure hope not.”

___________________________

“I’m here to see the patient.”

The guard looks up at you through his sunglasses and smirks. He uses the gun in his hands to point at you, and you step back. “Ah, so you’re the one they decided on to fix up this lunatic?”

“We don’t refer to them as lunatics, sir. And, yes, I’m Doctor y/n l/n.” Digging into the bag on your shoulder, you pull out your ID and hand it to the guard.

He glances at it once, bored, before grabbing his walkie talkie. “It’s Doctor y/n l/n you’re expecting, correct?”

The garbled voice on the other side responds back. “Correct.”

The guard looks back up at you. “Gimme your bag, please.”

You’re a bit startled, but give him your bag. Already, before even getting to this checkpoint, you’ve been through two whole security checks, and were definitely not expecting another. This Joker guy really is trouble. That just makes you panic even more. Trouble is hard to tame. The guard rummages through the bag a bit before nodding and handing it back, clicking on his walkie talkie again. “Doctor is clear for entry.”

A click noise sounds, and the door opens, leading to yet another room with another door with two more guards standing beside it. You jump as the door behind you clamps shut, and the two guards hardly flinch. The one to the left moves forward, holding something out in his hand. “This is your panic remote. See the green button right there? Press that when you’re done with your session or you need to get out. Got it?”

You grab the remote, looking at it closer. “What about the red button?”

“That’ll set off a gas that’ll knock the Joker out cold.”

Oh. That doesn’t sound good. You’ve dealt with some pretty nasty people but nothing ever this intense, nothing that needed this level of precaution. “Okay… Wait, won’t the gas get to me too?”

The guard shrugs. “Eh, yeah, but you’ll be fine. The doctors will fix you right up.”

You tuck the remote away in your coat pocket. “Right. Thanks…”

The other guard who hasn’t spoken a word until now enters some kind of code into the pad on the door and it swings open. “Good luck, sweetheart.”

The nickname makes you cringe but you step forward and bow your head. “Mhm.”

As soon as you step inside, the door slams closed, and you’re left to face the man everyone has been whispering about.

And there he is, sitting behind a table, looking up at you. The first thing that strikes you is his face, which lacks any makeup, and you don’t know if it shocks you because you’ve only ever seen him with his makeup on or because he appears human. Not quite the monster he’s made up to be. His skin is slightly tanned, his eyes brown and dull, his hair curled and askew down to his neck. Although he doesn’t have his makeup, there’s faded green hair dye still at the tips of his hair. His signature purple coat and suit has been swapped for a straitjacket. You try to look only into his eyes, but instead you flush and look at his mouth. His mouth, gosh. Without the smeared red makeup, you can see his scars so clear, the mangled flesh titled up into a smile on either side of his lips. Whatever caused those was nasty. Always smiling.

Bringing yourself to move, you carry yourself to the table, sitting down in the chair across from him, and you try and pretend your heart isn’t hammering. As you sit down, his eyes trace your everything. It makes you feel like some kind of animal. Is he studying you? Plotting your death? Horrible, but who knows with a man who is all unknowns? You clear your throat. “Uh, hello there, Joker. Can I call you Joker?”

He frowns and licks at his lips, smacking them together. At first, you don’t think he’ll talk, but it just takes him a second. “Well, what else would ya call me?”

You’ve heard him speak before, on the television, in those frightening hostage videos, but it’s more chilling in person, his distinct voice causing you to shudder. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. “R-right. Joker. I’m Doctor y/n l/n. Feel free to call me y/n, though.”

“Y/n,” he says slowly, as if tasting the name on his tongue. You resist shuddering again. “You’re the one they assigned to, ah, fix me up?”

You nod. “That’s me. But please, don’t think of it as fixing you. Think of it as helping you.”

“Help,” he spits out the word. “Whatever ya wanna call it. Sure. What ever happened to those other people they sent to see me the other night? They were all just so fun to play with.”

His words have a lot of bite behind them. Dale warned you about this. He was going to mess with you, and have fun doing it. “I believe they weren’t prepared to attend to you.”

“Awwww, did I hurt their feelings?” His voice is dripping with pure sarcastic sadness. He even feigns a frown. Then he breaks into a wide grin, giggling madly. “Well, if words are gonna hurt them that badly, maybe, uh, they’re in the wrong work field, huh?”

You make sure your face doesn’t move a bit. Play. It. Cool. Besides, progress doesn’t come from backing down. “We all have our strengths. It doesn’t matter what happened to them though, what matters is that I’m here now.”

“They really threw ya to the wolves, Miss l/n.” His tongue traces across his teeth. “Lucky for you, I won’t bite. Yet.”

You try very hard to ignore him. He probably does bite. “Today is gonna be a short meeting. Testing the waters. Now, we’ll be meeting every other day, so don’t feel like you need to open up to me immediately-”

“Me? Open up? If ya wanna open me up, you’re gonna need a big knife.” When your face falls, he leans forward and laughs harshly, a laugh laced with insanity. “Ha! Tough crowd, it seems.”

Already, he’s testing your patience. But you’ve faced worse. Or at least, you’ll pretend you have. “Mr. J, please-”

“Mr. J?” The Joker sits up straighter. “Heh, I like that. Makes me sound, uh, all fancy and stuff.”

“Mr. J,” you say again, this time harsher. “Today, I just want to get to know a bit about who you are. This is our first session so I’m not expecting too much. We don’t have to dive into the crimes, or your past, but I just wanna get to know a bit about you.”

He snorts. “Why?”

“I’m trying to help, Mr. J. I can’t help you if I don’t know… well, you. Not to mention, we have absolutely nothing on you. No files. No previous history. You’re a bit of a mystery.”

“Ah, a mystery.” He licks at his lips a few times before licking at the inside of his cheeks, no doubt tracing along his scars. “And you wanna solve me.”

“No, I just want to learn a bit more.” You reach into your bag and bring out your clipboard and a pen, clicking it once. “Now, where would you like to start? Maybe your childhood? Your job before your crimes?” His face contorts, and his nostrils begin to flare at such personal questions, so you try and tone it down. Before he lunges at me and chokes me to death. “It’s okay, we can start small. What are your interests?”

His shoulders drop a bit. He rocks back and forth in his seat, humming in thought. It’s weird, really, to see him like this. Not blowing something up, or filming himself raming about some kind of new evil plan he has. “Hmmm, well, I like, uh, a good joke every now and again. I like, hm, ah, a good tussle. Blades. TNT.”

You scribble it all down, right with a question mark and a frowny face. None of that sounds promising. “Right…”

“What’s wrong, doll? You seem…” He smiles gleefully. “Upset.” His T’s are pronounced harshly.

Doll. You should definitely correct him, to tell him to call you by your name, but you decide to let it slide. “No, I’m just… taking it all in. So you like weapons. Jokes. Is that how you decided on your name?”

He smacks his lips. “More or less.”

“Okay. Right. And the whole clown thing, your persona-?”

“Persona? Ha! This is aaaallllll me, dollface.”

“Right. So, the clown thing, how’d that come about? Your makeup, what’s the reason for it?” As you say it, your eyes fall to his scars, the way his lips lick along the very edge of them, and when he catches sight of this, he glares.

“Ah ah ah,” he coos darkly. “We won’t be getting into that today.”

You swallow hard. “Okay. It’s fine. One day at a time.”

He nods and leans forward, and it’s like his eyes can see into your very soul. “Ah, enough about me, huh, doll? Tell me about little ol’ you.”

You frown. “We’re not here to talk about me, Mr. J.”

“Oh, you’re not, but I would like to hear a thing or two about the person I'll be spending lots of, uh, personal time with.”

The way he says personal time, with an almost ferociousness to it, makes you break out in goosebumps, and you’re thankful for the coat covering your arms. “Hm, fine. What do you want to know?”

“Oh, ya know, a bit of this, a bit of that.” He tosses his head around. “How’d you end up in a shithole like Arkham?”

You take a deep breath. Does he seriously care to know? Or is he messing with you? Knowing what you know about him, you’re sure it’s the latter. “Well, it’s always been my passion to be a psychiatrist. I love Gotham and I wanna help its people.”

Joker leans back. “Hmmm, you’re one of those little doctors, huh? Wanna get everyone all fixed up so you can feel like a little saint?”

That takes you aback. You resist the urge to glare. Stay calm. You’re trying to help. “No, I don’t want to be a saint. I just want to-“

“Make yourself feel better? Wanna, uh, be able to give yourself a pat on the back and say ‘look at how amazing I am’? Puh-lease. Nobody really wants to help because they’re selfless.” He leans in. “We’re all selfish, every last one of us. So don’t lie. Nobody likes a liar.”

If you were anyone else, you might have wavered. So this is what they meant when they said Joker was a tough case. He had flipped the tables and started trying to analyze you. Well, you were tough enough, and you weren’t going to back down. You look him right in the eye. “You have a very interesting world view, Mr. J. But if I was just doing this for myself, we wouldn’t be seated here today.”

“Oh, but you didn’t choose to be here, they stuck ya in with me.” His eyes widen. “Seems your bosses aren’t too fond of ya, doll. Or are you just so stuck beneath their boots that you didn’t even question them?”

Now he was really reading you. How could he tell? Was he just that good at digging into people, or were you just too much of an open book? Whatever it was, you pushed it aside. Don’t give in. You’re not doing this for your bosses, you’re doing this for you. “You’re very observant. But again, we’re not here to analyze me. We’re here to talk about you.”

He shrugs. “Whatever you wanna say, doll. But don’t worry,” he says, licking his lips, “I’ll figure you out before you even get anywhere with me. In fact, I think I’m already getting a good guess.”

“Please, Mr. J, I’m the psychiatrist here. Now, our session is coming to an end-”

“Pity.”

“-but I have one last question before our session ends.”

“Go ahead, doll.”

“If you were to describe yourself in one word, what would you use?”

“Ha! Easy. Chaos.”

“And, why does this word define you? Why do you want to be chaos? What do you get out of it?”

He shakes his head. “Ah ta ta, that’s more than one question, doll face. Now, before you leave, lemme, uh, ask you the same thing. What word would you use to describe me?”

His question takes you slightly off guard. There were tons of things you could say. Insane. Wild. Crazy. But those would describe the Joker he was outside, the man that fought the Batman. Whoever you were looking at now was clearly more than that. “Intriguing.”

With that, the Joker's face split into a wide smile. “Ah, now that’s a new one. I think I might actually come to enjoy these, ah, little sessions.” He tilts his head. “I expect you’ll be going now?”

You reach into your purse and grab the remote. “Yes, Mr. J. Thank you for your time. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

He’s smiling so wide now, the tips of his scars almost touch his ears. There’s something about his smile. It’s not horrible, not at all. It’s mesmerizing.

“I can’t wait.”

___________________________

That night you can’t go to bed, but not for the same reasons as usual.

Most nights, as you settle down, you’re pulled from sleep by the phantom echoes of the screaming of Arkham patients. Other nights, you’re up for hours thinking of different ways to help your patients. But tonight, you can’t be bothered to think about anyone but the Joker. Dale was right. Already, he’s creeping into your mind, settling beneath your skin. You should be frightened, really, but your mind just wanders with fascination. No, you definitely will not be getting sleep tonight. Instead, you grab your laptop and type in your patient's name. If he won't tell you anything himself, then you’ll get to the bottom of it.

You end up reading about him for hours. Intriguing, indeed.

End notes: see you next time ;)

[metaliczz]

Charles Leclerc imagine

In which Charles gets jealous of how other men act towards you.

I haven't been active for the past month but I'm working on it. Things got very bad but I'm working my way through it. I've been thinking about new prompts for my writing. I might also start a book about Charles x reader. I've got a couple ideas in my mind. Anyways, enjoy :)

During the past seven days, you have been going out more because of the lack of presence of Charles. He had received tons of calls asking him to interview him, big brands wanted him for advertisements and even his own ice cream company needed some adjustments. Charles kept apologizing to you about how he wouldn't be able to be there for you as much as he used to. However, you said it was okay knowing that it hurt you inside. You hid your emotions to not make him worried and cancel all of those opportunities that had made his way to him.

You knew Charles would be back in about two days but you didn't stop going out. Almost every day you had been going to parties and events with your group of friends. As much as you hated being away from Charles, you had to admit that having fun with friends and attending events that always had a twist of actions to it was something you always liked. You liked the unpredictable and the wildness of it all.

"(Y/N), where are we going now?" Your friend asked, scrolling on an app that located nearby parties.

"Let's go wherever it's most crowded." You answered, getting ready.

"Awesome." She responded, looking at the information of the party with the most people there is.

A few knocks were heard at your front door and you quickly went downstairs to open it. As you expected, the rest of your friend group was there. You yelled of excitement and so did they all. You let them in and somehow, music started playing from your speaker.

"So, ladies, where are we going next huh?" One of your friends said.

"There's this party a couple minutes away and apparently there's gonna be a shit ton of people. I think around six hundred or something."

"SIX HUNDRED?! Girl we better run to that party as soon as possible. I need to get drunk and meet hot men."

You laughed and put your stuff away now that you were ready. You and your friends headed out to the party.

"This is AMAZING!" You exclaimed as you poured yourself another drink.

The music was loud and booming through your ears. There was a dance floor, which you took the opportunity to bust some moves. Your friends and some other men hyped you up as you kept laughing and drinking.

Once you sat back down at a table, a man came up to you. You looked at him and waited for him to speak.

"Hi." He said.

"Hey?" You answered.

"You have amazing moves, man. I haven't seen anyone like you before." He said as he sat down in front of you.

"Thanks! It's definitely the alcohol that's getting me like this." You replied as you started to laugh uncontrollably again.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"(Y/N), you?"

"Peter."

"Cool."

"Wanna get out of here?" Peter asked, waiting for you to agree.

You didn't say anything in return. A weird feeling covered your entire body. You didn't know what it was.

"Excuse me." You finally said, getting up.

You made your way to the bathroom which, luckily, was empty. You looked at yourself in the mirror and turned the cold water on. You put some cold water on the back of your neck and some on your face.

"(Y/N)! Come out!" One of your friends practically yelled.

"Okay!" You opened the door.

Your friend didn't even have time to tell you what was going on before you saw him. Charles was there, yelling at the man that had approached you a few minutes ago. You were so confused. He was gone for business purposes and now there he was.

"Charles! What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you. I cancelled an appointment because I wanted to be with you."

"How did you find me? I didn't tell you I was here."

"Your location was on." He murmured.

"What the hell is going on here?" The other man, Peter, asked.

"You talked to my girlfriend, that's what's going on here." Charles answered, his voice loud and sharp.

"Okay, now. Let's get out of here." You said and grabbed Charles' arm, pulling him away.

"You're too drunk (Y/N). Let me take care of you." Charles said, his voice softening. He picked you up and took you to his car. He carefully put you in it and drove you to his place.

When you got to his place, Charles took your heels off for you and placed you in his bed. He changed you into his clothes and took the rest of your makeup off. A few hours later, you got more sober.

"Charles..."

"It's okay chérie." (darling)

"I barely remember anything of what happened."

"There was this guy that approached you."

"Right."

"I don't like how other men look at you. I hate it. You're so beautiful." Charles said, getting next to you in his bed and pulling you closer to him.

Your head was in his chest. His hand on the back of your head and the other one around your waist. You wrapped your arms around his back, it being too big for your arms to wrap around fully around it.

Charles kept giving you small kisses on your head and on your face. You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling. His kisses trailed down to your neck and then back up to your face again. He played with your hair as he kept telling you how much he loved you and how he was sorry he wasn't there for you this week. He said he was sorry for letting that other man approach you at the party. He told you he was sorry about everything, then made sure to kiss you multiple times again. Charles was obsessed with you. He always needed you by his side. You were his reason to keep going and never give up on life.

[anadiasmount]

TEACHING JUDE HOW TO PERREAR AAA (because you know there’s nothing worse than having a guy just loosely holding onto your hips and looking up at the ceiling as if he doesn’t want to be there) he’s so mesmerized by the way you move your hips but he knows he has to grip onto your hips and grind back and when he gets the hang of it it’s just 😮‍💨😮‍💨

salió el sol is the song i immediately thought of… it’s very much suitable for this blurb 🤭🤭

he had seen you outside waiting in line, watching how you made your friends laugh and danced a bit from the music that played inside the club. he watched you yet again when you walked into the place like you owned it, hair silky, tiny black lace dress, and those high heels that made your appearance like a sexy super model. all it took once eye glance and jude was hooked.

him watching you the entire night as you expertly played and gambled in poker, drank many shots to which you couldn’t get drunk off on, take pictures with your friends and even at one point working the dj booth. oh but don’t get started when the music switched from old r&b to old school reggeaton.

how you jumped from your spot and fixed your dress, throwing your hair back as you walked hand to hand with your friend down to the dance floor, so far yet so close from the vip booths. “where you going?” asked aurelien, patting the midfielder shoulder as he walked off. “gonna step here real quick, wanna see the crowd…” jude shrugged him off, determined to at least catch you, maybe even offer you a drink.

jude could sense you knew how to dance but not so explicitly and intimidating like this. a hand in your hair, shaking your hips side to side with knee bent, then throwing it back onto your friend, ass shaking as you came up with a sly and clever grin. jude locked his lips, leaning onto the railing, continuing to observe you, how you sensually rolled your hips, threw your head back almost in pleasure, your bottom lip between your teeth as you smirked and danced. a fucking expert… jude thought.

he couldn’t shake off the feeling your radiated. the whole club with their eyes on you. you were the show tonight, and he sure as hell loved it. his fingers gripped tight on his glass as he downed his final sip, not denying how gorgeous you were. jude was mesmerized, by you. and he wanted just a little taste even if he didn’t know how to dance himself.

at one point you had looked up locking eyes with the stranger who couldn’t keep their gaze off you tonight. your friend giving you an ‘i told you so’ look when you told her. “starting to get a little creepy don’t you think?” she spoke loudly as you continued to move your hips and ass to ‘baila morena’ that rang loudly in the club. you could feel the beat, the rhythm, the passion, all in every single song. you felt confident and even more so sexy.

“you’re wrong… the night is just getting started!” you wink at her, grabbing her hand and initiating for her to throw it back on you, hyping her every move as chants and praises were heard in the back from your friends and newer strangers.

time passed, your feet a tad bit sore after dancing for almost an hour. you sat at the bar, quietly stirring your drink with the thin black straw with legs crossed. you sense a familiar stare across from you, smiling at the stranger once again. “rude to stare no?” you’re quick to remark, earning a chuckle and him walking to you. “how so?” he said confidently, leaning against the bar with one arm.

“you’ve stared at me the whole night, like some shy boy in a corner, when deep down we both know what you want…” you cocked your brow up, taking a sip of your drink before turning slightly to face him. jude acknowledged you with a knowing nod. “will it still be rude if i ask to buy you a drink?” he offers, hearing how you laughed.

“not at all…”

“i’m jude,” he introduced. he extends his hand to shake yours, your hands fitting like puzzle pieces, “y/n… encantada.”

“i have to say… you’re an excellent dancer,” jude said, making you look up with a look. “quite a show you put on i must say…”

“jealous?”

“not particularly,” jude shrugged.

“then follow me,” you stood up, grabbing his hand once again before he stops you. “w-wait, i -i don’t know how to dance…” he shyly admits. “well you said so yourself, im an excellent dancer? i’ll teach you,” you guided him to the dance floor, cheering when you hear “salió el sol’ by don omar playing in the dj booth.

“first things first is, you can’t be stiff, let the music flow through your veins,” you advised, smiling as you grabbed on to his shoulders and lead him deeper the crowd. “second, it’s all in the hips, if you can’t move them, then it will suck…” you winked, jude giving you a half grin.

ella lo vuelve loco como se menea, bailando pura candela, lo vuelve loco cuando se acelera, y pela

you show him by circling your hips, guiding his hands to grip and feel as they moved. jude feels his pulse on his wrists quicken, the affect you have on him slowly turning him on, not being able to resist and pull you closer. his feet widen a bit, shocking you as you went between them, continuing your slow movement as you gently grinded on him, feeling his prominent abs as you did.

y yo quiero saber cómo es que baila la julieta… julieta baila sexy con la mano en la cabeza

you turned slowly, your back against his chest as jude dragged his hands along your sides. “you sure you don’t know?” you tease, a bit shocked at how quickly he was learning. “yep… have the best teacher on me currently,” you feel his lips trace your ear, your ass on his crotch as you continued to move your hips now more taunting. “dancing so confident… so sexy…”

you close your eyes, head thrown back on his shoulder, a hand coming to rest on the nape of his neck, the other interlocking with the his that circled your waist. “am i doing right?” jude closed the last bit of space, grinding and bucking his hips with yours so sensually, so hot. jude resists the groan escaping his lips as you whimpered softly.

“doing so good jude…”

the two of you are under a spell, bodies contracting and moving flowy. the different shades of light, the music, the tension, it’s all to much, yet you can’t seem to pull away even when you both lose control and are out of sync. jude’s head nestled into you neck as you feel his hard cock on your ass, his hand low on your abdomen pressing your even closer, whispering daunting words that have you trembling to the tip.

lo de ella es playa y arena, se excita cuando el sol la quema, quiere reggeaton, discoteca pa' la nena, se le mete en las venas

“is it supposed to feel like this?” he asked, pressing a feather kiss on your jaw. “like how?” you stutter now his affect on you, feeling the drinks from the entire night beginning to have their affect. “so tender and intimate? so right?” jude was sure of one thing, that he was compelled by you, not just your dancing, everything about you. “answer me, or i’ll stop,” jude spoke, feeling your muscles tense, as you pushed back more, both his hands ln your hips again.

“you should feel more than just tender and sweet… you have to feel it here,” you turn swiftly, wanting to moan at the loss of contact. “you feel it here,” you touch his beating heart, similar to the bass of the music. “and in here…” you brush his temple, jude placing a kiss on your wrist all the way down to your inner flesh.

you’re so sure by the end of the night you might forget his name and let it be as it is. but it’s clear jude has different plans, his strong muscular hand wrapped behind your back as your clung into his shoulders, your cunt allow rubbing against on one of his strong thighs.

“what else? teach me more.”

[macabr3-barbi3]

hear me out- Vox. Reader. Gloryhole. I rest my case 💼

listen I had a fucking BLAST with this!!!

on my ao3 this is going to be it's own fic instead of going in with the other oneshot requests, I got an idea that's going to be part of a longer series so it's separate!

Big thanks to @fraugwinska for hyping me up and helping with the title! you are near and dear to my heart and my creative process 💕

Tags: Glory Hole; Blow Jobs; Past Relationship(s); Vox is a little pathetic; Reader has a contract with Val (for now)

Heart Reset 📺💙

Valentino calling him down to the studio is rarely ever a good thing- Vox usually ignores the summons when he can. It’s hardly ever anything important, usually just Val wanting to fuck or invite him to participate in some orgy or another, whining that he would be such a big draw if he would just let Val switch the camera on.

Which, duh, of course he would be. He was fucking sexy, and powerful, which was an extra level of sexy in his opinion. But he didn’t revel in the idea of the masses of Hell being able to pull his face up on their screens whenever they liked- he wanted that ability to stay in his hands, thank you very much, so Valentino’s offers to make him a star were always ignored.

But today Vox’s refusal was met with a threat to not release any videos for a month, and as distasteful as Valentino’s whores could be they drew in the big bucks, and Vox wasn’t willing to lose out on that profit. So he made his way to the studio and wondered what kind of clusterfuck he would be walking into today, what sort of problem he would have to fix for the moth.

When he arrives it’s not to the usual hustle and bustle, glaring lights directed at the huge, gaudy bed against one wall- instead, the lights are dimmed, Valentino draped across his chaise, no cameras anywhere that Vox can see. A personal call, then, but he really wasn’t in the mood. The news had been fucking crazy this week with the early extermination, Alastor almost dying, the usual chaos of Hell. “What do you want?” He asks, cutting to the chase, and the moth turns lazily to look at him.

“Voxxy, you made it!” 

“You threatened business, Val.” He lets his hypnotic eye swirl a bit, upping the brightness of his screen to make sure he has his attention. “I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t do that when you were being pissy.”

“Amorcito, this isn’t about me!” He unfolds his long limbs from the chaise and strolls over, bending at the waist to hang his arms over Vox’s shoulders and get closer to his screen, trailing his tongue up the side of his casing. “You’ve been so stressed, darling- I thought you could use the latest addition to the studio to blow off some steam.”

Vox feels his lip curl. “I’m not interested in touching any of your sluts, I’ve told you this so many times-” He backs away from Val, ignores the pout that takes over the moth’s face. “I’m fucking leaving, how many times do I have to-”

Val grabs his arm and tugs him back, drips off his body like a scarf with how lanky and tall he is. “You don’t have to touch anything, papi,” he whines, “just come look at what I have for you, hmm?” He drags Vox by the wrist to a distant wall of the studio, gesturing to a hole that sits, naturally, right at dick level. When Vox turns his glare to Val he pouts. “Don’t look at me like that! I’m trying to help, amor, you’ve been so tense- I thought a nice hole would be the perfect thing for you to relax a little.” He lowers his tone, smoke falling from his lips with his words and curling sweetly around Vox’s head. “You don’t have to touch or look at the whore behind the wall, there are no cameras; you just have to stick that lovely polla of yours through the wall and let yourself be taken care of.”

Vox… isn’t not interested, he supposes, glancing at the wall. His usual objections to anything in the studio have been addressed- this is a surprisingly nice gesture, coming from Val. Offering to let Vox enjoy himself without pushing the idea of a camera on him, without having to worry about their pleasure like he did with the moth. “What are you getting out of it?” 

Val smiles, the gesture wide, dripping as his smoke billows around them. “I’ll be over there,” he says, gesturing to the chaise across the room. “I’m content to watch and listen, amorcito, and let you have what you need. Our little friend behind the wall knows not to do anything that would disappoint me, isn’t that right?”

Vox raises his eyebrows when he hears two little knocks against the surface on the other side of the wall. “Trade secret,” Val chuckles, “two knocks for ‘yes’ or ‘keep going.’ One for ‘no’ or ‘stop.’ She’s agreed to help me out with this little favor since her shoot on set B got fucked by a busted up bed, so she knows what she’s doing with the knocks. Keep that in mind while you have your fun!” He saunters away, lays across the chaise again and pulls out his phone while he waits for Vox to get to it. 

He looks down at the hole, not nervous but maybe a little hesitant to just shove his dick through the wall for one of Val’s people. “Hey there,” he says, chuckling nervously as he asks, “you come here often?”

There’s an almost amused silence before you knock twice on the wall, and he finds himself smiling while he undoes his belt and pulls it from the loops, discarding it behind himself. “You can talk if you want to,” he says, looking over at Val who’s entirely focused on whatever is on his phone. “I won’t tell- you don’t have to be totally silent.”

A single, immediate knock. No.

That was surprising- normally you couldn’t get one of Valentino’s actors to stop talking, so your refusal was perplexing. He wonders briefly if it’s Angel Dust on the other side before shaking his head at the thought. Val was way too possessive about Angel to not be recording if he was here, regardless of it was a favor to him or not. There had to be some reason though- would he recognize your voice if you spoke? Who could you be?

The thought of a wet, warm mouth around his prick had been enough to make his lower half interested in the proceedings, but the mystery tied to it now- who you were, why you wouldn’t let him hear you- sent him the rest of the way there. He wondered what it would take to get you to make a noise around his prick, if he would know the sound of your moans while he fucked your mouth or while you touched yourself on the other side of the wall to the thought of him using you-

Fuck, maybe he should get to the fucking point. He shifts his pants down enough to bring his cock out, a gentle stroke of his fist down the shaft before he guides it slowly into the hole in the wall. Its big enough that he can comfortably fit within its confines, and almost as soon as his hips are pressed flush there’s a hot, wet tongue curling around the head, then lips pressing to the warm skin of him in little kisses that you trail to the base of his cock and a hand gripping him. And wasn’t that just lovely? 

But you were quiet- you drew him into your mouth and sucked without even a whimper, and that just wouldn’t do. “Can you take more?” He asks softly, and he sees Valentino’s head whip in his direction in time with the soft double knock.

Vox grabs the helpful little handle attached to the wall for leverage before he shoves his hips forward, and he’s rewarded with the sweetest little whine when he brushes the back of your throat. In an effort to keep yourself from making any noise your throat constricts around his tip, and he moans low, feeling the wood of the wall vibrate from it. He wishes he could see through the damned thing- see if your eyes were clenched shut to hold yourself back or if they were wide open and glazed, teary in your need. If your hands were dipping in between your legs to take the edge off of your arousal, if you were aroused knowing who he was when he had no clue who you were.

“You feel so good, sweetheart,” he murmurs, trying to goad you into responding, and he doesn’t miss how Val sits up a little straighter on the chaise across the room- they weren’t really together right now, but that didn’t mean that he wanted Vox having too good of a time without him, clearly. “Let that pretty voice out- I wanna hear you moan on my cock, doll, can you do that?”

Val had you trained well, he would give the moth that much credit; you moan low in your throat and the vibration ripples deliciously along the length of him. Even with the sound sending electric bolts of pleasure through his body, he thinks he recognizes it. Some faint whisper in his memory processors tells him that he’s heard that sound before. He needs something else, some other way to get you vocal.

He looks down at the hole in the wall- he thinks if he could get it just a bit wider he might be able to get a hand through it, pull on your hair a little bit. He releases the handle on one side to slip his fingers through the hole, relishing in your hum of surprise and sharp intake of breath through your nose when you see his claws come through. “If I can get this open more,” he says lowly, glad for once for Val’s shitty eyesight so he can’t watch him prepare to potentially destroy part of his set, “can I touch you?” Two hesitant knocks on the wood, but that’s not good enough for him anymore. “I need a verbal confirmation on this, no porn shit.”

Hesitation. Vox worries that he’s ruined it somehow before he hears your voice, low and raspy on the other side.

“Yeah, okay.”

And fuck, he knew it! He did know that voice- something he had suppressed forever, from when he was new to Hell, still a fucking nobody. You had watched him fall, helped replace parts of his screen when he had hit the ground and was still processing the fact that he even had a screen to replace. You had watched over him for weeks, the pseudo-relationship taking a headfirst dive into the sexual before you had just fucking vanished on him a couple months in, leaving him to fend for himself again after taking care of him, making him need you. 

It had been fucking decades but Vox remembered. What you looked and sounded like bouncing on his cock in your shitty apartment, fingers rubbing frantically at your clit while your other hand dug claws into the skin of his abdomen. The tilt of your eyebrow when you got pissy with him about something. The way that your lower lip trembled with your stuttering whines when you approached orgasm, or when you cried for him, over the cuts and scars that littered his body when you first brought him home and cleaned him up. Now that he was allowing himself to remember the memories flood back, and if he closes his eyes he can almost picture you on your knees before him the way you had been, lips stretched around the girth of his cock, eyes teary and wanting and ready for him to sink into you at a moment’s notice. 

The wood creaks under his fingers, threatens to crack in his grip, and he hears the curious sound you make before he feels it.

Val is going to be pissed if Vox breaks this wall, he knows that much. He also probably won’t react well to him just popping around the back of it to see you, to fuck you if you would allow him that. A glance back to the moth confirms that Val has gone back to looking at his phone, and Vox figures that he can take his chances. He strengthens his grasp on the wood of the wall- “lean back a second, doll,” he warns you, and only temporarily laments the loss of your hot mouth around his prick before he leans out of the hole himself- and yanks, the cheap wood splintering under his hands, showering down on the floor on either side and opening a space wide enough that he can fit at least one of his arms through it. That’s all he needs. 

“¡Qué coño! What the fuck was that?” Val stands from his chaise, phone going into his pocket as he prepares to stomp over to Vox, eyes angry.

Vox turns his hypnotic eye on the moth. “I think that was the bed on set B again,” he says loud enough for him to hear, and he watches Val stop, transfixed. “You should go check it out- you’re the boss, after all.”

Val’s feet stutter against the floor. “I- you’re right! I should go check it out- you keep la puta occupied Voxxy, I’ll be back.” He wanders off, muttering in Spanish as he goes, and no sooner has he turned the corner than Vox is sticking his arm through the widened hole that he’s created, finding your head closer than he thought and twisting his fingers into your hair. 

His thumb brushes against one of your ears that rests atop your head, soft and fluffy just like he remembers and his stomach drops, his want intensifying suddenly, sharply. Other hand wrapped around his cock he guides it back into the hole, using his new grip on your head to pull you closer, take him further down your throat. “Fuck, baby, that’s good,” he mutters, and your responding whine is fucking delicious. “So fucking hot and wet- some things never change, huh?”

You stiffen slightly under his hand and he shifts his grip, pinches your cheeks where they’re hollowed from his length keeping your mouth open. He lets his thumb trail across your cheekbones, and you exhale through your nose at the sensation, a tremor in your body now. “Did you think I wouldn’t recognize your voice, princess? Those sweet little sounds that you let out when you’re stuffed with my cock? What are you doing here?” He asks, unable to keep the desperate curiosity out of his voice, or to keep his hips from still lazily thrusting into your mouth. Not great for a conversation or answers that he did actually want but fuck had he missed this. He hadn’t let himself even think about you for decades but you had been his first for nearly everything in Hell and then you left him like he was nothing- he thinks he’s entitled to being just a little mean, a little selfish.

“Come on, darling, don’t hold out on me now.” He bucks forward, feels you constrict around his tip again and groans low in his throat. “Show me that you missed me, too.” He forces himself to hold his hips still and let you come to him- you huff out through your nose and suck hard almost defiantly, bringing a hand up to grip his base where you can’t reach with your mouth. You pull off and place kisses down his shaft once more, the whimpers you emit sending sweet shocks of pleasure through his nervous system. He lets his hands tangle back in your hair, not guiding, simply holding on while you kiss and lick and take care of him, his orgasm fast approaching with your attention. “Gonna make me cum, baby, you want it?”

Vox scratches behind your ear as he asks, and the whine you let out is low, pathetic, fucking sexy. “Say the word and it’s yours. All of it, sweetheart, I’ll give you anything you ask. Fuck, I missed you.” There’s the faintest tinge of shame at admitting it- admitting that he didn’t have something he had wanted for so long, that he had had to scrub you from his processors to exist without you. “Did you miss me? You want me to cum in your mouth, claim you again like old times? Tell me.” He pulls you forward and you choke a bit, gag reflex hitting hard and moaning when he pulls you off enough that you can answer him.

“Fuck, Vox, yes,” you whisper, barely audible but its enough. He doesn’t even care, really, which question you’re answering as he guides himself back into your open mouth, hips stuttering once, twice, and losing himself in the slick grip of your throat. His release is met with a soft cry around his cock before he’s coming, spilling into your mouth like so many dreams and memories of the past that he had tried to erase. It’s almost painfully good, his muscles tensing and his fingers clenching hard in your hair while you take him in, swallow him down like the good girl you had always fucking been for him.

You clean him up, lick the remnants of his orgasm from him so sweetly before he pulls himself back through the hole and drops to his knees, pulling your head forward so your mouth is where it was before. He can’t kiss you like this, not really, but he tries his fucking best, licking into your mouth as well as he’s able to and trembling with the effort of not completely destroying the wall to get to you properly. You moan into his mouth and he’s desperate, suddenly, to get you off, too. “How do I get in there?” He asks, pulling away, and he’s mesmerized by the sight of your lips, open and panting when he looks down. “I need to see you, doll, it’s been too fucking long and I- please, tell me how to get in there to you.” He hates that he’s basically begging you but pride be damned; he had already lost you once.

You’re quiet for a moment, and Vox watches your mouth move when you answer. “H-head towards studio B,” you say quietly, “there’s a red door to the right in the hallway. I’ll… I’ll wait for you.” Your mouth pulls away from the hole and Vox is fucking out of there, zipping into the powerline of the nearest camera to find that door, to get to you.

He’s going to have to have a discussion with Valentino, he thinks, when he spots the door and brushes his clothes off before stepping inside. You couldn’t belong to two people at once, and he would let himself fall to an angel’s blade before he lost you again.

[calummss]

gallavich as girl!dads headcanon

masterlist

making her lunchboxes for kindergarten/school. mickey disliked it at first and thought it was a waste of time but over time he started to pride himself on the food he makes and even decorates it

their daughter running into their arms after kindergarten (bawling)

when she’s sassy she calls them by their names: “mickey […]”, “excuse me?”, “you heard me”

he was gagged!!

ian teaching her how to swim in the pool

mickey telling her bedtime stories about him in prison and she is invested (he leaves out too gore-y stuff)

putting her drawings on the fridge even if they don’t know wtf she drew

mickey listens to a lot of eminem so by the time she’s 5/6 she starts rapping along with him (he gets emotional listening to mockingbird and needs looks at her face once the song ends)

both of them learn how to style her hair. ian’s go to are braids whilst mickey loves simple pigtails

“some kid at school told me i was weird for having two dads”

“who?”

“someone in my class”

“what did you do?”

“i punched them”

“thats my girl” *high fives her*

their daughter asking for the meaning of their tattoos which lead to some pretty awkward conversations

“why do you have boobs on your back?”

ian’s voice shaking: “because i- i…love women”

“but you’re married to daddy”

he was silenced.

mickey also swears that you can tell she’s being raised by gay dads; his proof is that she says “come on girls” when talking to them. mickey absolutely hates it and tries to stop her from saying it

i just know lip teases the shit out of them for it!! he is amused as hell

ian and mickey were honestly not ready to have such a diva in their house. they love it but at the same time it tests them on so many levels

they 100% get tattoos dedicated to her!!

dance parties!! i just know ian and mickey blast lady gaga, katy perry, eminem etc. and dance whilst cleaning or cooking, hyping up their little girl

their daughter crawling into their bed at night/in the morning and they wrap their arms around her, cuddling themselves back to sleep

when she starts asking about boobs, female body etc. they get overwhelmed and call debbie or sandy to deal with it

she thinks the world of her fathers and loves them so much

mickey felt disconnected from her for the first few months of her life as he was unsure how to love and take care of a baby but now he would die for her. he would kill for her. he would to anything to make sure she is happy and safe (he made a promise to himself to never be like terry)

no one knows how she did it but somehow she convinced ian and mickey to let her paint their nails

i have a nagging feeling that someone in the family (gallagher) calls her miss gallavich if she doesn’t answer to her name the first few times

[narcissistcookbook]

about thirteen or fourteen years ago @inkylizard told me about this show Sleep No More (description beneath the cut) they'd seen in an early run in Boston, and i had such bittersweet feelings listening to them talk about it because 1) it was absolutely my kind of thing, and 2) it was basically impossible to see it because it was so far away (i'm Scotland-based)

and since then i probably thought about the show more than most people who have seen it. i ended up working some of what kit described to me into my own music and shows, in a very vague sense

anyway, fast forward over a decade and i'm in NYC for ten days prior to tour and kit tells me that Sleep No More is still on, and it's about to close forever so this is my first and last chance to see it

so anyway

i finally saw it and it was amazing. for once hype wasn't the joy killer. it was inspiring and empowering and it's made me want to explore some of the more outlandish ideas that have been tickling my brain in terms of music writing/performance

i almost went again today, but low energy mixed with a fear of not wanting to dilute the magic by returning to the source convinced me otherwise. i think it means more to me to wait over a decade to see it, and then never be able to see it again.

Brief description of Sleep No More if you haven't seen it and aren't aware of it, told from the perspective of someone who had it described to them once and then saw it once 13 years later and has done no reading or research beyond that. Apologies if I describe it in a way that makes you squirm and go "nooo you aren't explaining it right" 💜

Sleep No More is an adaptation of Macbeth told mostly through the medium of Dance and Vibes. It takes place across the breadth and depth of an entire five floor building called the McKittrick Hotel, which is a dreamlike network of TV/movie-quality sets (a ballroom, a hotel, a city apartment, hell, a street of open shops, a mental hospital, a forest, witches' dens, a huge room full clocks connected to a tiny prayer vestibule, there's too many to mention) and masked audience members are encouraged to wander freely and explore the entirety of the building in any way they like

all the sets are fully explorable and designed to be examined in close detail. if you dig around you'll find letters, medical records, diaries, a fully stocked and unguarded sweet shop, hidden dressing rooms, discarded props, again much more than I could list off here. rooms have backrooms which have other backrooms. secret passageways connect parts of the building/story to other parts.

and through all this the cast are whirling and screeching and sprinting from place to another with little regard for who is or isn't following their storyline. at one point I was one of only two people watching an actor sew up a disembowled teddybear in a child's bedroom - and in the mirror, the same bedroom was reflected covered in blood. at another I was the only person watching a nurse tuck a man made of rocks into a hospital bed. at another, I turned a corner and one of the witches (with about twenty people in tow struggling to keep up) barrelled into me on their way to a scene elsewhere (he stopped and gave me a boop on the nose). another time, i walked into what I thought was an empty interrogation room only to realise after *far too long* that one of the characters was hiding in there with me

and on top of all this, each character has a scene they will only perform to one other audience member chosen by them

the magic for me is that not only can you not see the whole show in a single visit, but that it's basically impossible for anyone to see the whole show period no matter how hard they try. someone i know has seen it seven times and i've seen parts of it that they didn't even know about. it creates a sense of longing for what you'll never see, a sense of loss for the parts you missed, and a deep sense of personal connection with what you were lucky enough to see

what a banger