#which just encourages wilson to keep doing it

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) when wilson finds house stress-nesting (always at home, even when the urge hits at work the idea of nesting at the hospital is so Wrong to him [this is due to his own issues with his omega status + vulnerability, not respect for the hospital]) he is entirely comfortable invading his space if he feels he's doing the right thing. the instinct to keep away from a nesting omega that hasn't invited him is overwhelmed by the instinct to help and the knowledge that house doesn't have anything to eat or drink in there -- if he's stress-nesting he never thinks about it, too concerned with the actual nestmaking. and sometimes he can be in there for hours. so while it's actually rude, offensive, and a total breach of boundaries for an alpha to involve himself with a nesting omega without permission, wilson does it anyway with no guilt. even if house is growling and threatens to bite him if he sticks his hand in, wilson knows he's all bark so he just ignores it and shoves water and snack crackers in there for him anyway

[earthchica]

whiskey kisses

logan howlett x black! reader

summary: You are sexually frustrated and Wade tries to hook you up with Logan.

warning: explicit smut (18+), drinking alcohol, protected sex, dirty talking, foreplay, oral & vaginal fingering (f), pet names (sweet pea, baby, etc.)

__

"Hey Peter, how about another round?" You inquired with a smile, sliding your empty glass across the counter.

You were attending a party that your neighbor friend, Wade Wilson was throwing.

He's been encouraging you to socialize more ever since your messy divorce.

So here you were, all dressed up and feeling pretty. You were told there would be eligible bachelors here which got you thinking about having a lighthearted post-divorce fling.

You jolted back to reality when a familiar voice called your name. You swiveled around to find Wade.

"Anyone caught your eye yet?" He chirped, plopping down beside you at the small bar.

"Wade, you promised eligible bachelors at this party, but I'm not spotting any," You exclaimed, swiveling on your stool to scan the room.

"Yeah…I know sweet pea. I just told you that so you can hook up with the perfect guy to blow your back out" He quipped, gesturing towards Logan who was sitting in the corner, sipping a glass of whiskey.

"What about Logan? He's single, trustworthy, and easy on the eyes.," He whispered that last part with a grin.

"No, Wade. No, I can't ask him. That would be weird; plus he's a friend," You declined, shaking your head.

"Why the hell not? Maybe he'd say yes if you asked. Come on, you asked me for help and I've given it to you" He pressed.

"Ugh…what? No way…I can't just be like, 'Hey, logan feeling lonely, wanna…you know fuck?" You joked, rolling your eyes.

"Oh my god, if you go up and say that to him…I think I'll die happy" Wade says, sharing a glance with you, and you both burst into laughter.

"Okay, that was a bit much, but still. Logan….I don't think he's the type of guy who would be into that"

"_____, I'm gonna be honest. You gotta stop being so fucking uptight and just go with the flow, sweet pea"

"Whoa, hold up! I am not uptight," You fire back, arms crossed in defense.

"sweet pea, this is me you're talking to. You know I'm right" He teases, raising an eyebrow.

"Ugh…fine," You shake your head, slightly irritated. "Yay, now come on!" He chuckles, tugging you along.

"Where are we going?" You ask, feeling a bit jittery.

"Going to have fun, something you're overdue for," Wade replies, pulling you to the dance floor.

You take a deep breath, let loose, and groove to the music, swinging your hips from side to side.

"Oh look who's watching you," He whispers in your ear, and Logan looks at you with a deep gaze, jealousy gracing his face.

He was eyeing you like a lion tracking its prey, a new look that intrigued you.

It's kind of, a turn-on.

"Take the hint!" Wade nudges before going to join Vanessa. A favorite song of yours started blasting.

It was time to crank up the sass and put on a show for his eyes only. You shut your eyes and let your hips groove, causing a commotion with your ass.

A cheeky grin crept onto your face as a familiar hand landed on your lower back.

"You took your sweet time," You teased, sensing his flawless frame snug against yours.

His touch glided over the silky material of your dress as we swayed in sync on the dance floor, perfectly attuned to each other's beat.

"You look so gorgeous tonight, sweetheart. I couldn't keep my eyes off of you…I've been holding back saying this but I want you," Logan murmurs in your ear.

"What do you mean, you want me?" You inquire, fully aware of his intentions, yet craving to hear him verbalize them.

"You know what I mean! I'm attracted to you, always have been. When we first met I thought you were the most gorgeous woman" he declares, gently turning your body to meet his gaze.

His gaze pierced through you, those hazel brown eyes longing for something untold.

"You'll be amazed by how irresistible I am," You teased, nervously nibbling on your lip.

His lips inch closer to your ears, the warmth of his breath dancing tantalizingly on your brown skin.

"Can I kiss you?" he murmurs, and in a split second, you yank him closer for a fiery smooch, tangling your fingers in his hair.

His hands decided to take a detour from your waist to my backside, giving it a playful pat.

Breaking away from the kiss, he rose to his full height, enjoying how he towered you.

"Let's go somewhere…more private" he declares, not bothering to hear your response.

You both waved goodbye to everyone, made your grand exit, and quickly made it to your apartment

_

"I'm gonna fuck you so good, you'll forget your name" Logan whispered, leaving kisses down the back of your neck.

You both triumphantly crossed the threshold of your front door, while kissing and touching all over.

Logan pulls away to lift you up and secure your legs around his waist, before carrying you to your bedroom following your instructions.

He sets you down on the bed before enjoying you. He begins kissing and caressing your neck.

His hand moves under your dress to softly stroking through your panties.

You gently pushed him back, removing his shirt and tossing it across the room. Then, your hands move to his pants' belt.

You played with the belt for a second until it was finally unlatched. You noticed a noticeable bulge starting to emerge in his underwear.

You lightly grazed against his pants, and he let out a groan. You swiftly turned him onto his back and liberated him from his pants and underwear.

You couldn't resist a dramatic gasp! You looked at his big, juicy erect member.

How the hell was that going to fit?

"This is all for you, amor" Logan teases, almost tearing your dress off in one swift move!

He let out a gasp when he caught a glimpse of your big, plump breasts and your black panties

"Oh sweetheart, you have the most perfect tits I have ever seen," He says, cheekily flipping you over and playfully swiping your panties off!

He makes his way down to your entrance, giving you a few light circle strokes before inserting two fingers into your dripping core.

"Logan, please!" You moaned in pleasure, trying to push him away because the faster he thrust his fingers in and out of you.

The louder you get.

"Tell me what you want, baby? and I'll give it to you" He asks, pressing his forehead against mine while still fingering the heck out of you.

"I-I-want you to fuck me." You screamed through your orgasm and as you came down from your high.

Logan begins leaving sweet kisses down your neck as you catch your breath.

"Do you have a condom?" You asked, watching him slurp his fingers spotless. He nodded and dashed off the bed to grab one from his pants.

Logan gets back on the bed, rolling the condom on his member before spreading your legs open to position himself at your core

"Ahh Fuck!" You gasped, feeling how huge he was and loving how he stretched you out.

You placed your hand on his hip as he began to thrust in and out, holding your waist.

"Shit baby…you feel like heaven. I could stay inside of you forever" His thrusts became faster, looking down, admiring the way his member moves in and out of you.

"Logan, don't stop" You let out a dramatic moan as he lifted you and plopped down on his back.

"I would never stop" He starts pounding up into you with some unbelievable force, making you scream in pleasure.

You threw your head back, placing your hands on his chest; trying to match his rhythm of thrust.

"Yes! Yes! Just like that" You moaned, feeling another orgasm getting closer and closer.

"You like that huh, does it feel good? You've always dreamed of this moment huh, baby?" Logan moans, grabbing your breast for a second, letting you bounce up and down his shaft.

"Yes, so good! It feels so good, Logan" You cried as he kept going and going, feeling like you were gonna lose your damn mind.

He stopped you for a second and pulled out, changing the position with your face down and your ass up.

"Oh…baby. You also have the most perfect ass" Logan groans, smacking your ass over and over again while pounding into your core.

"LOGAN!" You cried, feeling yourself getting close to the edge. He brought you up and wrapped his hand around your throat while his other hand rubbed your entrance.

"Come. Come for me, my sweet girl!" He whispers in your ear, and you let out a scream, feeling the great release.

Logan curses while pulling out, rips the condom off, and comes all over your ass.

You landed smack on your belly, catching a mischievous grin on his face before closing your eyes.

"Fuck…I love you…You are so…" Realizing what he was saying, Logan went into full panic mode.

He looked down to see your reaction but breathed a sigh of relief realizing you were out cold.

[justmatches]

Wade Wilson X Reader

Some HCs of how I think he'd text you throughout the day, always thinking of his schnookums ❤️

Fluff, he is so sickeningly in love with you

It wouldn't matter what he was doing that day, how important of a job he was on- he would always find time to text you little updates of how his day was going or something he saw

Like “baby, you would not BELIEVE what I just saw.” just for it to be a fat squirrel digging in a trash can

his random little updates always made you smile, encouraging you to send him little memes back, which he would NOT stop talking about, even if it meant rambling about it while in the middle of a fight.

If he knew you weren't bothered by some gore, he'd send you silly selfies of him in the aftermath of his work. It would never be anything too gory, but enough to know he wasn't up to anything good

If he had to leave to ‘take care of something’ before you woke up he would leave you with a sweet little good morning text, his eyes watching your sleeping form for a long second before tearing away, focusing himself back to the task at hand

(the thought of you never truly left his mind)

he always looked forward to your responses, knowing your smartass comments and quips would never fail to keep him on his toes while your sweet ones would make his heart pick up speed and a giddy smile grow on his face

Man, you really made him feel like a kid in a candy store

Also, when you reference something obscure he mentioned once a few months ago? he is down BAD. the idea of someone being so attentive, loving, and caring that they remember things about him genuinely floors him, just making him fall back in love with you all over again.

(sorry if this is kind of bad and not proofread but the deadpool 3 brainrot is KILLING ME 😫 it's bringing me back from the dead)

[michelle-is-writing]

Surprise, Surprise, Greg House

Word Count: 1.1k~

Surprising Greg at work is always fun. Most of the time, he's messing around with the items on his desk until I walk in which ultimately causes him to perk up right away. I'm always happy to see him, and going by the smile that pops up on his face when he first sees me, Greg is happy to see me too. Plus, it always helps that we've been together for several years too.

"House, you have a guest," Wilson states, quickly popping his head into the doorway of Greg's office before popping right back out. Watching him walk back to the elevators, I wave at Wilson before opening Greg's door.

"Surprising," I hear Greg mindlessly mutter before I walk in. Once he sees me, he lightly smiles and changes his words. "Not surprising," He corrects himself, sitting up in his chair. "But pleasant."

"I brought you lunch," I tell him, gesturing to the bag in my hand with a smile. Placing the paper bag on his desk, I sit down in the chair across from him with his desk separating us. "That way you don't have to steal anyone else's."

"You know me so well," Greg chides, placing the magazine in his hands down before opening the bag of food. Taking all of the contents out of the bag reveals two sandwiches and two bags of chips with a bottled drink for each one. "Funny," He notes. "These are the things I would have stolen from Wilson."

Laughing at his sad, yet true comment, I separate everything out and place a Reuben sandwich in front of each of us, Greg already digging into one of the yellow bags of potato chips. "I'm glad I got to come see you today," I confess, the sight of the food making me feel a little sick. "I have some... great news to share."

"Oh, really?" Greg asks, looking up at me. I nod, smiling as he pushes his chair back a little. "Well, then why don't you come over here and tell me all about it?" He suggests with that ever so sly smirk.

Knowing what that means, I gently roll my eyes and stand from my chair before walking over to Greg and sitting on his lap. Instantly, he wraps his arms around me and holds me close, leaning up a little to kiss my lips. This is one of the very few ways Greg shows his love. He always says it's because he gets to hold me closer to him, but I think it's just because I'm sitting on his lap.

"You know," he begins his sentence, nibbling at my neck. "With one simple movement, you instantly have me at your will. How odd is that?" Greg questions me, his voice sultry and low. Smiling at him, I lightly giggle before pushing him away enough so he can look straight at me.

"Greg, I need to tell you something," I state, my voice a bit serious. Even though I'm trying to keep a straight voice without letting my excitement show through, I keep my smile in hopes of him not getting worried. I hope this news finds him well, and it doesn't make him mad or angry... I don't know what I would do if he left me because of it.

Leaning back in his swivel chair to look at me, he continues smiling while running his hand up and down my side. "Go on," he encourages me, his blue eyes staring into mine. "I'm listening, my sweet."

My cheeks slightly blush at the endearment before I look away, sudden nervousness hitting me. "I'm, uh, I'm..." Just as I begin to speak, I choke up before sighing. "I'm pregnant, Greg," I fully answer him, having the guts to look him straight in the eye as I do so.

He takes a moment to listen to me, only to fully realize what I'm saying within seconds. In shock, he stares at me with wide eyes before breaking out into a nervous chuckle. "You're serious, right?" He asks, making my eyebrows furrow. My reaction causes him to become worried as his smile drops. "Please don't be joking," Greg begs, placing his hands on my arms.

His words slightly... befuddle me. Is the cold and emotionless House actually excited about me being pregnant? For him to question me to make sure I'm not joking makes me... I don't know what it makes me actually.

Does Greg want a child? I know we didnt plan this little one, but there's no going back now. I mean, Greg is quite a few years older than me and I would've never thought he'd want a kid this late in life, but Gregory House is Gregory House. If there's one thing that signifies Gregory House, it's that he's weird and unusual, and he never conforms to what is socially acceptable.

"No, I'm not joking, Greg," I tell him, placing his hands on my stomach. "There's a little baby right here," With Greg staring up at me with big eyes and an equally big smile, tears quickly make their way to my eyes. "You're going to be a father," I whisper, leaning forward and placing my forehead against his.

A few moments of silence pass before Greg grins and wraps his arms tighter around me. In a quick turn of events, he stands up with our feet planted on the ground and his arms still around me, a giggle falling from my lips as he does so. Before I know it, Greg is moving my shirt up to place his hands on my barely swollen tummy, resting them there as I hug him to me as well. “Thank you,” He murmurs, smiling before connecting our lips in another kiss. At the same time, he moves his hands to my waist to hold me there, his hold reflecting the passion behind our kiss.

[desertcrater]

wilson is diabolical in s3 ep2, especially because a few episodes prior its established that he eats neediness. if someone becomes independent from him, he can't stand it. typically this means he divorces them; but since house isn't his husband, this time it means he instigates house's psychosomatic depression.

both cuddy and cameron are on Team Tell House He Didn't Fuck Up, because they know house is on a quiet downward spiral. they know his leg pain's severity is tied to his self-worth/mental state.

but wilson? Mr I-Pathologically-Need-To-Be-Needed Wilson? he frames his Don't Tell House position as "teaching House humility" when really his motive is to get house back on vicodin and reliant on him. he even tosses a full vicodin pill bottle at house, claiming that it's so house doesn't skip rehab due to the pain. but if that were the case, why not give house something non-addictive? something OTC or non-restricted?

and i think there is an additional aspect in s3 ep1, too. house says he doesn't remember wilson "being this bitchy", and wilson replies that "the vicodin dulled it. in the sober light of day, i'm a buzzkill."

which could just be a dry humor remark, sure, but i think it highlights that their dynamic's going to change now that house is sober. and if their dynamic changes, it could threaten their weird codependent ecosystem that they live in. one where they both tolerate/exacerbate each other's worst qualities (house's misery and wilson's bitchiness). who will love me like he loves me? who will love him like i love him?

this is exemplified in that same episode. wilson shoots house down multiple times when house says he's a changed man, by replying: "no, house, you aren't."

wilson does this manipulative thing where on one hand, he's encouraging house to get better; yet on the other hand, he undermines any true progress. there is something so deeply wrong with wilson. he's so fearful of losing the codependency in his relationship with house, that he'll do anything to keep their fragile Boy Best Friend Status Quo. and that includes outright lying to house & actively sabotaging his rehab.

that also includes manipulating cuddy and cameron into keeping quiet. ironically, he's only able to do so because of his Boy Best Friend relationship to house. after all, who knows house better than wilson? who would know how to make house feel better more than wilson? who would know how to make house feel worse more than wilson? nobody loves house like wilson

[awkward-walking-potato]

Hello! I'd like to request sfw/nsfw alphabet for Wade Wilson please! Your fics are really good

SFW Alphabet:

A - Affection:

Wade is incredibly affectionate, but in his own strange way. Expect playful teasing, exaggerated gestures, and over-the-top compliments. He’ll never shy away from showing you love, even in public.

B - Best Friend:

You’re his partner-in-crime—literally. Wade loves having a sidekick or someone to bounce his crazy ideas off of. He’s loyal to the core and would do anything to keep you safe, even if it means annoying you half to death.

C - Cuddles:

Wade loves cuddles, but they might turn into playful wrestling matches or tickle fights. He’s all about physical closeness, especially when it makes him feel grounded and loved.

D - Domestic:

Wade in a domestic setting is chaotic but sweet. He’ll cook (though it might not be edible), attempt to clean (probably leaving more of a mess), and randomly serenade you with ridiculous songs while doing chores.

E - Excitement:

Everything with Wade is an adventure. He thrives on excitement and unpredictability, so being with him means you’ll never be bored. Expect surprise dates, random road trips, and unexpected (and often dangerous) escapades.

F - Flirting:

Wade’s flirting is constant, outrageous, and hilarious. He’ll make inappropriate jokes, use cheesy pickup lines, and always try to get you to laugh, all while genuinely admiring you.

G - Gifts:

He’s the kind of guy who gives you odd but meaningful gifts—think a grenade shaped like a heart or a plushie of his favorite X-Men. Wade’s gifts are usually a combination of thoughtful and utterly bizarre.

H - Hugs:

Hugging Wade is like getting tackled by a hyperactive puppy. He’s warm, a little overwhelming, and never lets go until you’re both out of breath from laughing.

I - Intimacy (Emotional):

While Wade puts up a tough, joking front, he’s deeply emotional underneath. He craves genuine connection and trusts you with his vulnerabilities, even if he hides them behind humor most of the time.

J - Jealousy:

Wade is surprisingly possessive when it comes to people he loves. His jealousy manifests in dramatic, humorous ways—he’ll start over-the-top rivalries with anyone he perceives as competition, but it’s all in good fun.

K - Kisses:

Kissing Wade is always an experience. He’s spontaneous, and his kisses can range from soft and sweet to passionate and wild. Sometimes he’ll sneak kisses mid-battle just because he can.

L - Lazy Days:

On lazy days, Wade loves binge-watching trashy TV shows, stuffing his face with snacks, and lying on the couch in a cuddle pile with you. It’s the rare quiet time that he cherishes more than he’d admit.

M - Mornings:

Wade is not a morning person. He’ll grumble, pull you back into bed, and try to convince you to stay in bed with him for "just five more minutes"—which, in Wade time, could mean hours.

N - Nicknames:

He’ll come up with the most ridiculous and creative nicknames for you, often changing them daily. They’re always endearing, if not a little embarrassing in public.

O - Open:

Wade is an open book, often oversharing or giving you way more information than necessary. He has no filter, but it’s part of his charm. He doesn’t hide anything from you—emotionally or otherwise.

P - Protective:

Wade is fiercely protective of you, often to the point of going overboard. He’d take a bullet, sword, or bomb for you without a second thought, and he’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, even if he’s a little reckless about it.

Q - Quirks:

Everything about Wade is quirky. He talks to himself (and sometimes the audience), breaks the fourth wall constantly, and finds humor in the darkest situations. Being with him means embracing the chaos.

R - Romantic:

Wade is a hopeless romantic, though his idea of romance might include explosions or elaborate stunts. He genuinely tries to sweep you off your feet, even if his methods are unconventional.

S - Supportive:

He’s your biggest cheerleader, always encouraging you to follow your dreams and be the best version of yourself. Wade might joke around, but when it comes to your happiness, he’s completely sincere.

T - Trust:

Once you’ve earned Wade’s trust, he’s loyal to a fault. He doesn’t trust easily due to his past, but once he lets you in, he’s all in, trusting you with his life (and heart).

U - Understanding:

Despite his chaotic nature, Wade is surprisingly understanding and empathetic. He’s been through a lot, so he’s patient and supportive when it comes to your own struggles.

V - Vulnerable:

Wade hides his vulnerabilities with humor, but when he’s feeling particularly down, he’ll turn to you for comfort. In those rare moments, he’ll let his guard down completely and let you see the softer side of him.

W - Wild:

Wade is wild in every sense of the word. He’s unpredictable, daring, and always full of energy. Being with him means embracing the wild ride that comes with his lifestyle.

X - X-Factor:

Wade’s X-factor is his resilience. No matter how many times life knocks him down, he gets back up, and he always does it with a smile. His ability to keep going, no matter what, is one of the things that makes him truly remarkable.

Y - Yearning:

Wade is the kind of guy who craves love and connection, even if he acts like he’s fine on his own. Deep down, he’s always yearning for that special someone who truly understands him.

Z - Zany:

Everything Wade does is zany, off-the-wall, and unpredictable. You never know what he’ll say or do next, but that’s part of the fun of being with him.

NSFW Alphabet:

A - Aftercare:

Despite his usual chaotic demeanor, Wade is surprisingly sweet after sex. He’ll make sure you’re comfortable, might crack a joke to lighten the mood, and will offer cuddles or snacks if you’re up for it.

B - Body Part:

Wade loves everything about your body, but he’s particularly drawn to your butt. Expect cheeky (literally) comments and playful grabs whenever he’s nearby.

C - Cum:

Wade is pretty open about everything, including this. He finds it hilarious to make jokes about it during the moment, but he’s also surprisingly considerate about cleanup.

D - Dirty Talk:

Wade is all about dirty talk—expect a constant stream of filthy, outrageous, and sometimes downright hilarious comments during sex. He’s got no filter, and he’ll say whatever comes to his mind.

E - Experience:

Wade has been around and has definitely picked up some tricks along the way. He’s confident and adventurous in bed, always willing to try something new to keep things interesting.

F - Favorite Position:

He doesn’t have a favorite because he loves switching it up constantly. Whether it’s something classic or a more creative position, Wade’s all about variety and fun.

G - Goofy:

Sex with Wade is never boring—it’s always filled with laughter, jokes, and playful teasing. He doesn’t take anything too seriously, which makes everything feel relaxed and fun.

H - Hair:

Wade isn’t particular about body hair—he’s seen it all and doesn’t care much about appearances. He might joke about it, but he’s really into whatever makes you feel comfortable.

I - Intimacy (Physical):

Even though Wade’s usually joking around, he’s surprisingly attentive in bed. He’ll make sure you’re enjoying yourself and will do whatever it takes to please you, though he’ll do it with a playful twist.

J - Jack Off:

Wade is open about his masturbation habits and will probably make jokes about it at the most inappropriate times. He’s also not shy about letting you watch if you’re into that.

K - Kink:

Wade is open to just about anything and loves trying new things. Whether it’s role-playing, light bondage, or something a bit more extreme, he’s always down to experiment and see what works for both of you.

L - Location:

Anywhere and everywhere is fair game with Wade. He loves the thrill of spontaneous encounters, whether it’s in a bedroom, an alley, or somewhere completely unexpected.

M - Motivation:

Wade’s always ready to go, but what really gets him in the mood is seeing you happy and confident. He’s turned on by your excitement and loves knowing that he can make you feel good.

N - No:

While Wade’s open to almost anything, he’s respectful of boundaries. He’ll never push you to do something you’re uncomfortable with and is surprisingly understanding about your limits.

O - Oral:

Wade is a fan of giving and receiving oral, and he’s very enthusiastic about it. He loves the reactions he gets from you and will often tease or prolong the moment just to drive you wild.

P - Pace:

Wade’s pace is usually fast and playful, but he can slow down if the moment calls for it. He’s adaptable

Q - Quickies:

Wade loves quickies. The thrill of sneaking in a spontaneous moment of passion, especially in unexpected places, excites him. Whether it's before a mission or during a mundane task, he’s always up for some fast-paced fun.

R - Risk:

Wade is all about taking risks and loves the idea of getting caught (or not caring if you do). He’s adventurous and doesn’t shy away from more dangerous or thrilling locations for your escapades. That said, he’s still mindful of your boundaries and ensures you’re on board with any risky play.

S - Stamina:

Thanks to his healing factor, Wade has insane stamina. He can go for hours, multiple rounds, and still be ready for more. He’ll make it a point to match your energy, keeping things exciting and varied so neither of you ever gets bored.

T - Toys:

Wade is a big fan of incorporating toys into the mix. He loves experimenting with all sorts of gadgets and devices, and he’s not afraid to raid an adult store with you. Whether it’s vibrating toys, restraints, or something more exotic, he’s always eager to add a little extra spice to the fun.

U - Unusual:

Sex with Wade is rarely traditional. He’s into trying new, unusual things and finds excitement in the unexpected. Whether it’s an unconventional position, a strange location, or some absurd roleplay scenario, Wade thrives on making things weird (in the best way possible).

V - Volume:

Wade is loud during sex. He’s constantly cracking jokes, making exaggerated noises, or offering running commentary about what’s happening. He’s vocal in every sense—whether he’s giving praise, making dirty jokes, or just making you laugh, expect a lot of noise.

W - Wild:

Wade’s sexual appetite and style are wild, untamed, and always unpredictable. He’s game for almost anything and loves pushing the boundaries of what you’d expect in bed. His wild side keeps things exciting, making every experience feel new and exhilarating.

X - X-Ray:

Wade is completely open about his body, even with his scars and imperfections. He makes light of his appearance but always reassures you with humor and confidence that what matters is how he feels about you. He’s also obsessed with how much you enjoy his body and won’t hesitate to ask (or joke about) what parts of him you like best.

Y - Yearning:

Wade is deeply passionate and craves closeness. Beneath all his jokes, there’s an intense need for affection and physical connection. He’s always eager to be near you, whether it’s through playful teasing, affectionate touches, or full-on passion, and his yearning comes through in every intimate moment.

Z - Zzz:

After all the excitement, Wade is more likely to pass out from exhaustion than drift off peacefully. He’s always full of energy, so when he finally crashes, it’s sudden. You might find him snoring almost immediately after, tangled up with you in the aftermath of all the fun

[buckymorelikefuckme]

most ardently

lloyd hansen x fem reader

words: 1.1k

warnings & tags: probably inaccurate regency era, pride & prejudice (2005) inspired, i've made lloyd quite soft in this i'm so sorry, enemies to (implied??) lovers, some natasha/sam crumbs even though they're in a totally different franchise/universe pls let me have this, idk idk idk idk it's just!!! this!! also my bad @ mr. collins

a/n: p sure i mentioned being on a jane austen kick lately so this is definitely the result of that. literally wrote this just now so it's absolutely unbeta'd or proofread and i honestly don't know if it even makes sense. might delete it later, we shall see. anyway! feedback is highly encouraged and greatly appreciated. xo

“May I have the next dance?”

Your joyful laughter, shared with your dearest friend, Natasha, abruptly cuts off at the sound of his voice. You blink a few times, as if that will help make sense of the scene before you. The chatter of the ball fades away for the briefest moment.

Mr. Hansen stands stiffly, his spine straight as an arrow, chin held high. His expression holds his ever present disdain and aloofness, but his eyes… For the first time, you're sure you see a hint of uncertainty. It looks rather misplaced on him, especially since he's quite vocal of his own assuredness in practically everything, and yet, there it rests.

“You may,” you hear yourself respond after a pause.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Natasha’s head turn to you in a snap, no doubt mirroring your internal shock at your reply, but your gaze remains held by the man before you. Mr. Hansen’s shoulders loosen imperceptibly and he nods, giving you a quick bow and waiting for your polite curtsy. He lingers, looking as if he wants to say more before he seems to think better of it and finally leaves.

As soon as she deems it alright, Natasha is dragging you behind her hastily, leading you to a more quiet corner in a different room, whirling around to face you with her eyebrows almost reaching her hairline.

“What have I done?” you whisper in a panic.

She raises one of her hands to cover her amused grin. A stifled giggle from her makes you let out a hysterical one of your own, and then the dam breaks. You're back to laughing together, though for an entirely different reason this time.

“Perhaps you will enjoy your time with him,” she suggests playfully.

You groan in protest through your smile. “But I don't want to enjoy my time with him.” With a dramatic sigh, you continue, “Though, I suppose it's better than allowing his misery to affect my mood.”

Natasha rolls her eyes. “I dare say he will not be the miserable one during that dance. He could surprise you, you know,” she counters, her expression pointed yet kind.

“Somehow I sincerely doubt that,” you reply haughtily, which has her giving you another pointed look that has you laughing. “Come,” you say, “let us find a better hiding spot. I want to keep out of Mr. Collins’ sight so I will not have to dance with him again.”

“That is fair,” Natasha concedes with a grin. “Hopefully we’ll find space near Mr. Wilson and he’ll finally ask me to dance.”

You do not have the heart to tell her that her confidence intimidates him, but you do still silently hope that he will ask anyway.

***

To her delight, Mr. Wilson does ask her to dance, just in time to line up with all the other couples before the music starts. You are among them with your sour-faced partner, Mr. Hansen. There are more than a few envious glares sent your way, though you cannot understand why.

Sure, Mr. Hansen is objectively a handsome man, and he's far richer than anyone else at this ball, but he's also blunt and rude and prideful. He leaves much to be desired with every unwanted conversation you have with him. It's as if he enjoys ruffling your feathers on purpose. Very unbecoming of a gentleman, in your opinion.

“Are you having a pleasant time this evening?” Mr. Hansen asks a minute into your dance, sudden and awkward.

“Quite,” you reply, attempting to maintain civility, but hoping to dissuade conversation.

Mr. Hansen’s brows furrow slightly at your curt response. “I’m glad the merriment is to your liking.”

“I should not think my opinion on the matter makes any difference for you,” you say, eyeing him curiously.

He clenches his jaw, looking away. “Right. Of course.”

The rest of the dance is spent in tense silence. No sooner than the music ends, you are curtsying and attempting to slip past him without having to speak another word. However, one of Mr. Hansen’s many admirers decides to take revenge on you for stealing a dance from him by purposely sticking out her foot to trip you. A gasp escapes you as you lose your balance, yet before you can embarrass yourself completely by falling to the floor, two strong hands catch you by the waist, spinning you around in their stronghold.

Your shocked gaze meets Mr. Hansen’s, his arm warm where it's wrapped around you, as is his other hand on your shoulder as he stabilizes you. His eyes, this time, are full of true concern, of worry. They trace every inch of your face, his so close to yours that you can feel the puffs of his breath across your chin.

“Are you hurt?” he inquires softly.

There's an odd, swirling feeling in your stomach, heat rushing up your neck to your cheeks at his proximity and the unusually gentle way he's handling you.

“I… I’m fine,” you stammer.

He cuts his eyes to whomever stands behind you, his face falling into a familiar and severe scowl. “I believe you owe her an apology for your childish actions.”

You finally manage to pull your stare from him to the accused person. The woman is flushed with shame at having been called out, stuttering through her, no doubt, half-hearted and insincere apology, her eyes flitting to the people watching the scene unfold.

“All is forgiven,” you rush, cutting her off. “Thank you.”

She shifts from foot to foot, pursing her lips unhappily, then finally curtsies and hurries off. Her absence draws your attention back to Mr. Hansen, who is still holding you securely and glaring at everyone else and their prying eyes, shifting them away from the two of you.

“Mr. Hansen,” you start, his head whipping back to you and his grip tightening. You exhale shakily. “I am grateful for your help, but I am sure I can stand on my own now.”

You see the exact second he realizes, his hold relaxing slowly, fingers peeling themselves off of your body as he takes a step back. For whatever reason, you feel wobbly on your feet at the loss of him. Mr. Hansen swallows as he rights his coat, bowing jerkily and turning on his heel to walk away. You watch his hand flex at his side, feeling the phantom touch of it on your shoulder.

Natasha enters your view, Mr. Wilson in tow. Her expression is full of questions, but you find yourself at a loss for any answers, your stomach and heart fluttering in what you can only assume is nerves at the near mishap.

That has to be why, surely.

…Right?

[wheredostarsgowhenyoudie]

Once upon a time when employees are being interviewed at SI:

.

.

Interviewer: So what is it like working for Iron Man?

Employee A: Oh! Easy question. I like that. It is an honor, you know. It's what I thought when I joined, and it still is now. But also, I did not expect that SI is a place where we are allowed to prioritize things like family. Like last time, I left my phone on silent at my desk cause I had to go to a meeting. My kid at home was having an emergency and I couldn't be reached. But apparently, Friday, Mr. Stark's AI, keeps track of phone vibrations so she made the report and someone came to notify me. I didn't even know there was a protocol for that. Turns out my daughter was having her period for the first time! And I'm a single father so I had no idea what to do and I was panicking. Next thing I know, an SI nurse came and apparently she was sent by Mr. Stark to walk me through how to help. Apparently, Fri also caught my panic rumblings and triggered 'YOU ARE NOT ALONE PROTOCOL' or something. (*laughing*) The next week, we received an official email introducing a new department called Human Care. They encourage everyone to reach out if we ever find ourselves out of our depths on non company emergency matters.

.

.

Interviewer: How long have you been working here?

Employee B: Eight years, two months, six days and counting.

Interviewer: What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed here?

Employee B: (blanks out)

Employee B (struggling to think): Ahm. Really? Just one? Er- That's a tough one. Maybe that one time they set up a room for everyone to try lifting Thor's hammer? Or wait, no, maybe that time there when flying roombas were everywhere following Mr. Stark and reminding him to eat? Or when a villain came via the vents but before he could come down, Hawkeye accidentally hit him with pepper spray? I don't know, man. Weird things happen a lot. We're used to it by now.

.

.

Interviewer: Do you feel safe working here?

Employee C: Yeah. The avengers live here. But to tell you the truth, I think Happy Hogan and his black tux team of agents scare all the potential bad guys away. I heard rumors that Black Widow personally trains them. Like, I know two of them. Jake, for instance. He's like a giant, and he is intimidating but I saw him crying one time and when I asked him why, he just said Mr. Hogan.

.

.

Interviewer: Which avenger have you met?

Employee D: Oh, I've met two of them. Captain America and Thor. It was odd but one time, they were in the cafeteria and carrying trays of food and I do not mean just one each. Nope. Like, a ton! Like they're feeding an army. But it makes sense. Can you imagine the workout? With bodies like theirs? And the battles they go to? Man, if I have to save the world from aliens, I'll probably need the same nutrition.

.

.

Interviewer: Which avenger is the kindest?

Employee E: Ahm...We all know they're all badass. But kindest, I think Spider-Man. Last Thursday, it was raining, and then Spidey suddenly came all wet and holding a box and I'm gonna quote him now. He said, "Friday, can you please ask Mr. Sam Wilson Falcon sir to come down? The shelter is close and I have a box of puppies and I really, really want to bring them up but Mr. Stark is gonna ban me from the lab again."

Interviewer: Aww. So what happened next? What did they do with the puppies?

Employee E (grinning): Falcon came down, alright. But he came with Iron Man who zoomed past everyone to drag Spidey to the penthouse. I am not sure what I heard but he was muttering about oven toasters and frozen spiderlings? In the end, aome employees volunteered to take care of them. But I believe two of them are at the avengers' floor. We saw Mr. Stark ranting about puppy paw paint marks on his armani.

Interviewer (gasps): Oh my. Was he mad?

Employee E (ends up laughing): Mad? Try grunting fondly? Peter really likes those puppies. Mr. Stark tried to act like he hates them but really, he adores everything about the kid, puppies included. He even had custom made collars with avengers logo made for them.

.

.

Interviewer: I'm sorry? The Winter Soldier was asking directions to where?

Employee F: The Lego Store.

.

.

Interviewer: How would you describe the workload? Do you still get work life balance?

Employee G: I guess it depends. I work in R&D and we're all nerds there. So like, we're typically busy but it's play for us. Some days, we're really cramped with work, mostly when deadlines are nearing or sometimes, we're just really in the zone, we do not want to stop. Peter activated 'NIGHT NIGHT PROTOCOL' for that. Had Fri lock us out of the lab and we had no choice but to go home or nap at the sleep wing. And would you believe? After the product launch, we got emails on mandatory vacation leaves with bonus to spend! Like, who does that? So yeah, it's cool working here.

.

.

And then, there was this:

Interviewer: How does it feel to be the heir of a multibillion dollar top green tech company?

Peter (stares quizzically, dumb-founded): Uhhh-....Look, sorry, I think I'm in the wrong room. I'm not- Maybe you got the wrong questionnaire? I'm just an intern-

Interviewer: Oh. Wait. Is it top secret then? Sorry, I was told of your identity as Mr. Stark's kid so I thought I could ask. But if you're not comfortable-

Peter: WHAT!?? Who said that? They're probably just joking.

Interviewer (chuckles nervously): Ms. Potts did actually.

Peter (freezes): Oh.

Suddenly the door opens and Tony walks in.

Tony: Hey kid, and Ms. Carrenland. How's the interview going? Thought I'd drop by for moral support, you know.

Peter (looks torn, but excuses himself to go to Tony): Uhm, Mr. Stark, can I talk to you for a second? Look, sir, ahm, I think there's been a misunderstanding. The interviewer asks me how it feels to be your heir. Like that's real. I don't-

Tony (has his brows rising to his hairline): Kid. Peter. Breathe.

Peter (groans and sighs embarrassingly): I just didn't want to lie! They mistook me for someone else. It was a misunderstanding!

Tony (smirking): It's really not.

Peter: What?

Tony: Kiddo, I was the one who gave Pep the approval to sign the questions. And really, you've been managing the R&D department and shadowing Pep at management for a year now. You never wondered why I make you do that?

Peter: Oh.

Tony: Yup. Genius child here.

Peter: I just wanted to help. You seem stressed out with the Avengers' work and dealing with the government. I thought I could lend a hand. I didn't- I don't expect you to- I'm not worth that, Mr. Stark.

Tony (scoffs): I beg to differ. Look, I'll be honest with you. Even if you aren't interested in the company, it's still gonna be yours. Look around you, kid. Do you think I let just anyone go around with a free pass at my tower? You have a room at my home. This place is your home, as where as everywhere else that I own. Plus, it's another motivation for you to take care of yourself when you go out as Spidey. Imagine all our employees. They need you, kiddo.

Peter (mumbling softly): I'm just Peter Parker.

Tony (smiles and pats his shoulder): And that is why I chose you.

[immeasurablesaladagere]

can u write about Wilson reminding little House of drinking and eating and generally taking care of himself? cuz I struggle with that

- @tummy-rubs-for-wilson-pup

One self-care fic coming right up!

-----

Word Count: 977

Summery: To encourage House to do the self-care tasks he neglects or forgets about, Wilson pulls an idea from a parenting magazine. A sticker chart.

-----

“…And where did you hear about this again?” House asked, unenthusiastically leafing through the packs of colourful stickers. “It better not have been one of those shitty parenting magazines.”

“It was! They’re very helpful actually. 20 Tips for Raising Kind Kids, 10 Ways to Curb Temper Tantrums, Experts Recommend 13 Healthy Meals for Snacktime, it’s thrilling stuff.” Wilson said. He grabbed a package of markers and tossed them into the basket. “You like any of these?”

The particular article that brought them to the dollar store that day had been Making Self-Care Fun! 5 Ideas for Your Reluctant Child, and as he watched House drag his feet through the store, reluctant certainly was one of the words that came to mind. Everyone in House’s personal life knew that he didn’t subscribe to the “farce” that was self-care. He stayed awake for days on end, he rarely ate anything of substance, constantly chugged coffee and energy drinks to keep himself going, and oh yes, the Vicodin. 

At work he had an excuse, even if it was a lazy one. He had a job to do. But when he was regressed it was different. It was less that House didn’t want to look after himself so much as he didn’t want to be told what to do, or just forgot to completely. So when he came across an article praising the wonders of a self-care sticker chart he figured it couldn’t hurt to give it a try.

House scoffed. “How did we ever survive as a species without tabloid parenting advice?” He pulled a packet of cartoon fairy princess stickers off their hook. “What about these? I think they match my personality.”

Before he could put them back Wilson snatched them from his hand and dropped them in the basket. “I agree. Anything else?”

House gave him a searching look, then smirked and scanned the rack again. He picked out two more sticker packs; one farm animals and the other space-themed and added them to the basket. “Just those. Oh, and one Hot Wheels. I think they’re in the next isle.”

Wilson rolled his eyes. “Yes, my liege.” And off to the next isle they went.

-

Once they got back to the apartment they set to work on the chart. Or rather, Wilson set to work on the chart and House “helped” by stealing the markers he needed to doodle. The design was simple; a large flip booklet of paper with the same drawn chart template of tasks with little pictures for each one. Eat a snack, drink water, brush teeth, and take a shower or bath. 

The idea, according to the article, was to encourage your child to do chores or tasks with small rewards like stickers. After filling up a row of the chart with stickers, the child would earn a promised big reward like ice cream or a trip to the zoo. In turn, the child would want to do the tasks to earn the rewards and would be more willing to do them. Of course the writers of the article had never met House, but he was willing to test their hypothesis.

Speaking of House, he seemed to be either regressed or regressing actively. His doodles, which he was intensely focused on, were becoming less detailed, his grip on the marker clumsy and awkward, and his good leg was swinging back and forth under his chair. With the chart complete, Wilson got up and propped it up on the counter and opened the cupboard.

“Do you want to earn a sticker?” 

House looked up at him, one eyebrow cocked. Instead of unimpressed, his expression looked genuinely curious. Definitely little. Wilson tossed him a granola bar, which he unwrapped and slowly took a bite of, watching him like it was a test and he wanted to make sure he was getting the answer right.

Wilson grabbed the package of fairy stickers, peeled off a magic wand, and stuck it in the first “Eat a Snack” box. “There. Once you get five of each, we can do something big.”

Now House was intrigued. “Like what?”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

“Mmm… museum.” He said, mouth full of granola.

“I think we can make that happen.”

-

Over the next few weeks, the sticker chart had become a regular part of Little-House’s day. Of course because it was House there were some kinks to work out along the way. He had almost immediately began trying to find loopholes in the system, first by placing stickers on the chart while Wilson wasn't looking and then by trying to do the tasks five times all at once to catch Wilson on a technicality, which he had only found out about after catching House brushing his teeth for the fourth time in an hour. They’d had to make two rules: One sticker per task per day, and Wilson got control of the stickers. But after that, he caught on quickly. After a week, Wilson hardly needed to prompt tasks anymore. House would just get a snack, or ask for a sippy cup of water, or Wilson’s personal favourite, walk past him and breathe minty-fresh morning breath into his face and ask for a sticker. The only task he still needed to prompt were baths, but he expected that. House was like a cat when it came to baths.

Until one morning when a House practically shook him awake, and Wilson opened his eyes blearily to House’s face just centimetres from his.

“Make a bath.” He demanded, then added a quick, “Please.”

Wilson blinked at him. “…What? House, what time is it?”

“Morning, and time for a bath. I only need one more sticker, c’mon Wilson!” He pouted, shaking him again.

Wilson groaned and sat up to stretch. “Alright, alright… Go get your bath toys, I’ll be there in a second.”

House was already off the bed and making his way to the bathroom. “Hurry up! We gotta museum to go to!”

Wilson chuckled. Thank you, shitty parenting magazines.

[writerscafehub]

𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀: 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐞

@fluffyprettykitty

From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

I would give it a solid three, I think I write simplistic and descriptive enough to give a good story out there. 

What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I think the length? I have lots of people compliment me on my ability to write a conclusive drabble and short shorties and poems have always been my favorite to read.

Are there any writers that inspire you?

On Tumblr, I have been inspired by the first people who introduced me to fandom and taught me how to use my writing abilities. Some have deactivated by now but my most prominent writing inspiration is @outerspacious. 

What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Oh, it has to be my Layla story. Together. In a way, the story describes everything I have ever hoped for regarding a f/f relationship, like the dream of living with your loved one somewhere where you can only acknowledge your love in specific places.

Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write?

Oh, it’s so easy for me to write for Sam Wilson of course, and Frank Castle, Matt Murdock, Selina Kyle, and Brunnhilde. The most difficult is Gamora unfortunately, I would love to write more about her but I feel like I don’t have enough material to grasp on.

Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

Love of course, first loves, falling in love, falling out of love, & a healthy dose of some toxic relationships.

Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!

Very Excited about this toxic love kind of story I’ve been brewing in my head for a while now. Something about equally drawing energy over each other without ever acknowledging they are the one you need/want more.

First fandom you ever wrote for?

Beyblade! A thousand years ago when I was a teen <3

Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

Once again I love writing about toxic relationships using people and completely draining someone out of their emotions. Maybe to get over past experiences cause it’s fun to explore “forbidden” feelings but it’s a fun process to write from that perspective. 

A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

Hmmm, I never liked the soulmate trope I guess. 

What is the wildest fic you’ve ever written?

Okay not here, but back in the Beyblade fandom I sued to write/keep the diary of one of the players and it was full of wild shenanigans and insane things that happened to him every day and it was just completely unhinged. 

Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

Any character I fancy x me is and will always be my favorite pairing cause I write for me <3

Do you listen to anything while you write?

I try to! I got some specific playlists for some characters such as Bruce Tony or Matt and then I got others I searched for based on vibes for the story I wanted.

One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

One shot. 

Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I have! I had this whole thing in my head when I wrote ‘Party Tricks’ to sort of have the reader experience each one of the Avengers I guess in different situations and a couple of other ideas that have been lost in the void that is my brain.

15. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Ugh so many. I have some stories I have experienced that I want to turn into fics but I’m too shy to do it, unfortunately.

17. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

Whenever I write about Bruce Banner I get the best compliments from some lovely people who you know just get *it* get the obsession. 

Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

I always try to push my comfort zone a little, the things I enjoy are limited so I always try to think in a way of the audience, of the other side, just look at anything a little more round rather than straightforward. It’s something I’d encourage anyone to do sincerely.

Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

Oh, fluff for sure. For me, angst is only for that one day a month when you need to feel everything, fluff is my daily dose of happiness.

Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

I don’t have OCs but I would love to venture into that at some point in my life.

If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?

Honestly, any fic, all are unique in a way and I just wanna get an in you know. But mostly I’d love to enter any kind of vamp au I’ve made, I feel like I’d get to know such a new and interesting kind of life.

Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I need to write the main thing in under one hour typing fast, no distractions, just pure focus. I guess learning what someone’s writing style is like teaches you a lot about that person and the sort of the fic they choose to write. But mostly I need to have the idea so vividly inside my head before I even attempt to write it, I can’t write a sentence per day, it needs to be at least 600 words.

Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

From Human Connection

He was yours yet not at all at the same time.

Until one dark rainy night, he held your throat within the palm of his hand staring down at you asking you what you wanted from him. 

And you didn’t reply. And your heartbeat rose and rose. 

But he knew what to do to make you talk. 

And when he crushed his body against yours, you knew. 

You knew how people connected. 

And within the time you’d explain to him who you were and what happened to you and he would swear on his life that no harm would ever be done to you again. 

And then you became one of these people you used to so closely inspect. 

Then you became his.’

Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

You need to try to write about everything you dream of, no matter whether you’re going publish it or not or show it to a friend, I think many people can write and just are afraid to do so. Fandom and Tumblr give you such an opportunity to explore yourself and your talents through something so simple as dreaming about a character and writing about any situation. I wish more people weren’t afraid although the lack of acknowledgment from the audience is draining, finding friends and good people in fandom is a possibility, and joining incredibly well-mannered servers helps you even more! 

[cbc-bb]

(laying on the bed with my chin in my hands) I want to hear about urban planning and rewilding

WELL! (cute)

urban planning: cities are just the most beautiful thing to me. they’re a bit like a garden: you can plan them out and come to them with your own ideas, but they’re going to grow on their own regardless. it’s the urban planner’s job to play gardener, imo, to prune here and there, to keep everything watered and devoid of unwanted pests.

cities to me mean density, which means efficient land and resource use. they’re environmentally friendly because of that! and they’re fun, they’re lively, and they tend to be full of interesting people. you might say that cities are loud, but they’re only loud because of all the fucking cars, driven by people who live outside of the city because “cities are too loud.” (whenever there are holiday weekends in NYC, the cars tend to go away and it gets oh so quiet).

anyway, urban planning is all about cities working better, making them more human for the people who live in them. how do we get around? how do we mix housing with shops and restaurants and office space?

rewilding: this is almost the same as urban planning to me, spiritually. humans have carved up much of the earth’s surface and that’s been largely bad for life on earth (including us).

rewilding is the process of restoring things back to a somewhat natural state. leaving things the fuck alone is one way to do this, and nature will rewild itself, but we can also speed this up with conscious human effort.

there’s a concept i like called “half earth” which says that humans should occupy at most half of the land area of earth, leaving the other half to nature (ideally in big chunks). this would let ecosystems rewild and restore, and would still leave ample space for humans to live (densely, mostly in cities) while also still having plenty of space for agriculture. there’s a book by E.O. Wilson that introduced the concept, one about a potential socialist half-earth future, and a novel by Kim Stanley Robinson that explores the concept (among others). there’s also a great book about indigenous sovereignty / land management that explores rewilding as well. here’s an excellent youtube video if that’s more your speed (but you should read a book too)

the state of california already has a “30 by 30” program in place (30% of land by 2030) and they’re working towards a “50 by 50” plan too, which is so encouraging

[oriley42]

Get to know your (much beloved) fic writer!

# 4, 11, 16, 55?

(Obligatory your hilson breathes life into me every single day and I have reread them all a million times except for the ones I haven’t read yet bc I’m saving them so I don’t run out! 🥰🥰🥰 thank you for writing!!)

aww thank youuu and thank you extra for the ask!!

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Re-watching canon always inspires show-specific stuff! And engaging with different media more broadly cross-pollinates in a cool way, like my yearly watch of Groundhog Day inspired TGIF, and seeing a random wedding-themed romance novel on the library shelves made me think "maybe this wedding planner plot bunny could be a whole story!"

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

(wording is ambiguous so I'm listing three of my own, because I barely read any fic when I'm in writing mode ahhh sorry 🙈)

TGIF - I am still so proud of this world. maybe I'm the one trapped in the time loop...

Adventures in Polyamory - I have 30k of the sequel written god Amber I am thinking about you all the timeeee

A Study in Lavender - I am also trying to finish the sequel to my Jooster fic feat. lesbian OCs before the summer's over wish me luck!!!

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Oh, so many! *Counts documents in House MD folder* oh kay oh jeez there are fully twelve story ideas that are developed enough that I'll probably write them at some point 😵‍💫 Let's see, which one have I maybe not teased before... aha! Femslash Hilson AU. I love this framework so much more than old school "genderswap" which has always, for me, come with icky binary straight transphobic connotations (though of course that is not necessarily the case and people have written cool trans stuff under this label!)

Here's a quick teaser from the sapphic New Orleans opening meet-up:

“As you will soon learn, if you aren’t bright enough to have picked up on it already…” House slung an arm around Wilson’s narrow shoulders, “I’m not like most people. Give me the gruesome deets. But no tears, please, I’m squeamish.”

“You’re a total bitch,” Wilson marveled.

“Now, you’re getting it.”

Wilson put her arm suddenly—bravely—around House’s waist. “Buy me a drink. I’ll tell you the whole tragic story, and only cry if you get on my nerves.”

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers' reactions to certain ones?

Super basic, but it's House! He wears his weirdness on his sleeve to hide the different, more painful weirdness inside. It's a like a delicious Ferrero Rocher of psychoses <3 The way he processes and interacts with the world continues to fascinate, and on a personal/political level, I just adore getting to write a character with chronic pain like me.

Wilson is also fascinating, but I think I like to write him from an outside perspective/House's perspective best. Seeing juuuust enough through his mask of normalcy to know he's Not Alright, but still maintaining a sense of inner mystery. I've had a lot of very kind feedback on how I write Wilson, which encourages me to keep writing him even weirder and more unwell, which is delightful 💖

[cha1cedony]

Just woke up in the middle of the night and about to try to get back to sleep again but: if Grant Wilson had the chance to live as any kind of bug for idk 24 hours? What kind of bug do you think he’d choose and, if it’s different, which bug do YOU think would suit him best? 🥰

OH MY GOODNESS. This is the best thing anyone’s ever asked me HAHAHA. For context… I love bugs (and Grant ofc) SOOO much

Ahem. Okay. Okay. This is a multi-faceted question. And I plan to be very annoying about it 😁‼️‼️‼️ I’m going to put it under a break bc I actually spent (too much) time rambling and overthinking this lol

WARNING: Very long and nonsensical Grant bug ramble below. Also, there are images of insects and spiders!

The Grant Bug Post

24-hour bug survival (lmao)

As much as I love bugs (using that term very loosely in this post btw), I doubt Grant would WANT to be a bug for a day (because he is no fun!!! 😤👎 /lh). However, let’s say he’s fighting an entomologist acolyte (who used to be one of Henry’s co-docents at the natural history museum or something lol) and is turned into a bug for 24 hours, but he gets to choose the bug beforehand.

In this situation, Grant would go for a tactical bug, but he probably also has limited knowledge of bugs (again, no fun). His pick would need to be resilient and small enough to hide/run quickly. I don’t think he would go for something that can actually do much damage; he’d rather wait out the 24 hour period. Cockroaches infamously can take a few stomps, can hold up to radiation (which mayyy have been important in pre-Code Purple apocalypse Earth?), and can kinda scurry around and hide and survive on trash for a day. They also live for about a year (not that Grant would probably know that), so in case something went awry and he WASN’T immediately turned back after 24 hours, he would live longer than other bugs, giving the other kiddads enough time to hopefully figure something out (although, if Nicky’s problem-solving skills are any evidence, they probably would NOT figure out a way to turn Grant back 😔 lol)

If Grant was in a similar situation, but he NEEDED to defend himself/others (instead of just running and hiding), I can imagine him going for something that both flies and stings, like a bee or wasp: feels sniper-y, satisfies both his violent and self-sacrificial tendencies, etc. Unfortunately, one sting is not gonna get the job done, unless maybe the acolyte is allergic to bees :) Grant is very headstrong and unfortunately would definitely launch himself into battle as fuckin bee if he was in a bad mood. Hopefully, in this situation, the other guys would be there to hold him back from becoming a bee and immediately dying 😭

I was also trying to think of bugs (or bug-adjacent creatures) that shoot projectiles of any kind (because sniper lol), but I can only think of bombardier beetles, which shoot explosive liquid out of their abdomens (very cool, but Grant would not know about them).

PS: Snails can also shoot hormonal projectiles called “love darts” that are used to determine assert sexual dominance and which snail will be male/female for reproduction (since they’re hermaphroditic) but. That’s definitely not applicable here 😭😭 I just wanted to share. They also have bad aim, so Grant could never be a snail 🙄 hehehah

For fun :)

Aside from missions or life/death situations, the only time I think Grant would willingly become a bug for 24 hours (<- CRAZY phrase LMAO) is to make Lincoln happy :) Link’s favorite animals are caterpillars, and I can imagine Grant finding some kind of item/spell to turn himself into a bug and IMMEDIATELY dropping everything to be Link’s pet caterpillar for the day hehe. Some kind of friendly, cute caterpillar who won’t make Lincoln itchy… or turn into a butterfly and fly away 🥲 He would even let Link shake him around in a jar for a little while (he always scolds Link for trying to keep bugs in jars hehe). That way, he gets to encourage Link’s interests in a way that is VERY safe for all parties involved. If Grant had to pick ONE bug for to become, I think he would go with a caterpillar, unless he was in the special situations I described above. (Maybe I should’ve put this paragraph higher up! :p)

Google (more specifically, this website—that’s right; I’m citing my sources in the Grant bug post 😎) says monarchs and anise swallowtails are common in southern California, and they’re both big and cute and not too prickly, so I can imagine those being some of Link’s favorites :) I think his favorite is the monarch specifically (the yellow stripey one below) but Grant likes the swallowtail (the green spotted one)

Kid/teen Grant

As a kid, I think Grant was probably grossed out by bugs and would NOT want to be one (again, boring smh). I was trying to think of a soccer-related bug, but the best I can come up with is a dung beetle 😬 He would NOT want to be a dung beetle. There are unfortunately no gamer bugs (except maybe the Pikachu spider shown below, but Grant would not like spiders, nor would he really care about Pokemon). Bugs should try playing Fortnite, I think

Assigning him a… bugsona? lol

OKAY. On to the more important question… What bug do I think Grant would be? I’m actually shocked I’ve never thought about it before because, in past fandoms I’ve been in, I have a history of making lists of what bug each character would be. Very self-indulgent, I know. Shush. I’m being self-indulgent right now 😤 I think I’ll make a list of potential bugs for each DnDads character… ANYWAY

My immediate reaction to this question was some kind of beetle. Grant actually has always reminded me a LOT of an old anthropomorphic beetle OC I had in high school :) He was a green stag beetle—Lamprima adolphinae—and I think it suits Grant really well!

As a character, Grant generally feels very beetle-ish to me; he is very big and imposing with a tough exterior, both physically and metaphorically. BUT he can also be very lovey, easily embarrassed, bookish, a little geeky, etc. which I associate with these beetles in particular mostly just because of that old OC I mentioned before. And they’re GREEN! Grant is green (in my heart and mind hehe). It’s perfect B)

I know my initial cockroach mention might’ve sounded funny, but I can definitely imagine Grant as a roach o_o !!! Again, they’re wide and sturdy and headstrong, but flighty/skittish at the same time. Very Grant. I also could see him being an assassin bug. The name works for him too haha 🥲🥲

I could also MAYBE imagine him as other similarly sleek bugs, like a bald-faced hornet, but I think beetles or true bugs (assassin bugs, cicadas, etc.) suit him best. I can’t really imagine him being a small bug

Okay. Okay. Phew. I cannot believe I wrote THIS MUCH about bug Grant. If only I could write this much of my fic this fast lmao 😭

MY FINAL VERDICT…. 🥁🥁🥁

I think Grant would choose to be a cockroach 🪳 for survival purposes, but he would easily be a caterpillar 🐛 to make his son happy. If I had to give Grant a.. bugsona?, it would be a stag beetle 🪲 for sure! :)

If you actually read all of this, uhhh thank you???? 🐞 <- here’s a lucky ladybug for you. PLEASE tell me your DnDads bug opinions if you have any I’d love to hear them 🙏 Maybe someday I will draw the main characters as anthro bugs (bc that’s like. the only thing I can draw heheh)

Thanks so much to Isadora for sending this ask omg!!!! :’) I saw it a little bit ago while doing schoolwork, and I was super excited to write this silly post, so it helped motivate me to finish. Feeling a lot better :) Sorry I wrote such a long response haha! PS: I hope you got some sleep!!! >:0

[thefruitiestofbois]

The Cascade Five- 2

“Get it on a plane and drop it in the middle of the Pacific.” One voice, I think it’s Abby’s, fades in as my eyes flutter open. How many hours was I out? The moon resting high in the sky tells me it’s most likely been at least three. Shockwaves of fire ripple through my back at the slightest movement but I remain silent. They think I’m dead and I’m gonna make sure it stays that way before I rip their hearts from their chest, starting with that bitch Abby first. I squirm again as I twist my arm to reach the splint of wood in my gaping back. Searing pain leaves me lightheaded but I persist, my bloody fingertips are so close to the stake and it’s only after I turn on my right side on the backseat of the car I’m in, that my fingers grip onto the biggest and closest piece and pull it agonisingly slow from my flesh. The rest of the tiny splinters can wait till later and in less than a second, I escape through the car door and snatch the closest person to the car, ripping through their neck with my fangs and sucking them dry till their body falls limp to the dirt below. As the girl writhes around on the floor, hand clutching her throat as the gasps sputter out of her. 

“Oh my god, Whitney!” A cry echoes out into the woods around us from one of my killers.

My black vein-ridden eyes rise to meet the rest of my killers, each and every one of them with a hand glued to the holsters on their thighs that are undoubtedly loaded with wooden bullets. Abby stands on the far right, a short wooden dock behind her leading to a lake, a man with a round face and short beard stands alert in the middle and another girl, shorter and skinnier than the man and Abby, takes up a defence position in the left. Not that it’s hard to be skinnier than Abby, she’s built like a boxer, probably even bigger than Wilson. Abby’s a no go and so is the middle man, I’d have a hard time grappling them, especially if they are what I think they are.

Skinny girl it is then. I launch myself to her , grab her and swoop back to my original spot just behind the trunk of the car to face them. Shaky staggered breaths leave her small frame as I squeeze tighter around her neck, her arms frantically reaching to peel my own away. 

Abby and the guy make a move to draw out their guns and I yell at them to stop.

“I can snap her neck in a second without even breaking a sweat. One more step and she’s dead.” The threat seems to fly over her head as her grip tightens on the gun, finger itching for the trigger but the guy shuffles in front of Abby, urging her to calm down. 

“Manny get the fuck out of my way.” She spits but Manny remains firm in his spot. Each of them are all wearing black tank tops, leaving the matching marks on all of their shoulders visible- a faint imprint of a moon and a single star next to it. A distinct marking of the Eclipse werewolf pack which used to run through Utah before The Council wiped them out. Well clearly not all of them it seems. 

“Abby drove a stake through your heart, you were dead.” Disbelief evident in Manny’s tone.

“I’ve been dead for centuries, nothing new there.” Like a snake coiling around its prey, I keep squeezing Nora’s neck in my arms. “For every question you answer wrong or every pathetic attempt to help Nora here, I break a bone in her neck. I doubt she’ll make it past the first snap so you’d do well to answer me honestly. You can also toss your weapons away. Am I clear?” Manny seems to be the only out of the pair who has any common sense and complies instantly. Abby, on the other hand, looks like she needs some extra encouragement. So I snap the lowest bone of the seven in Nora’s neck. A scream follows the splintering sound, the bottom half of her body beginning to fall limp. 

“She’ll stop breathing in a few minutes. Do you understand me now?”

“Fuck-okay, okay.”

It’s almost a knee-jerk reaction when she tosses her gun aside, hands surrendering in the air, panic obvious in her eyes which are glued to Nora’s nearly paralysed body. Manny then presses me once more,

“How are you still alive?” 

“I think I’ll keep that secret to myself for now.” I have a feeling he won’t be any use to me so I look right behind him.

“Speaking of secrets, a certain professor seems to have gone missing from this very campus. Do either of you know anything that might be useful or should I kill you both and the rest of your wolf pack?”

“What do you mean a wolf pack?” A bewildered expression hijacks Abby’s face as she steps out from behind Manny. 

“Did they not teach you anything in werewolf kindergarten? Your pack, the Eclipse clan-”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Werewolf? We’re not werewolves. They don’t exist.” All brawn no brain really is the case for Abby. If she doesn’t know anything about her heritage then she hasn’t triggered her curse. But if she knows about vampires, how can she not know about werewolves? If she’s a wolf then her dad must be as well. Great. More names to add to the supernatural roster.

“You want answers Abby? Go ask your dad. Or better ask your friend next to you why he’s decided not to tell you he’s triggered his curse.” Manny’s mark was more of a branding on his arm instead of the faint outlines like the one on Abby’s or young wolves who hadn’t activated the curse yet. “I’m looking for Joel Miller. I know you know something Abby, seeing as your jock boyfriend was on the police report.”

At the mention of Joel’s name her glare softens only for a moment as her gaze snaps back to a barely conscious Nora. I know Abby knows more than she’s letting on, just like Manny is to her. 

“As a sign of good faith, I’ll heal your friends but only if you give me your word, you’ll tell me everything you know.” 

“We just killed you, how do we know you’re not lying for revenge?” Instead of answering her I rip the flesh from one wrist and bring it to Nora’s mouth, urging her to drink. An audible crack sounds from her neck as her body heals and the colour returns to the rest of her body, her legs now wiggling as the feeling in them returns. I do the same to Whitney, whose heartbeat grows fainter and fainter with each passing second. 

“You killed me!” Whitney gasps out, glaring daggers at me the moment she spurs upwards from the floor.

“You weren’t even dead.” I retort, rolling my eyes before diverting my attention back to Abby. “I healed them, now you need to hold up your end.” Relief floods through her once Whitney and Nora are up but there’s still hesitancy clouding her. You know what, I was nice and now I’ve run out of patience. Leaving Nora and Whitney behind me, I hurtle full speed, barging Manny to the side and into the ground with a thud and delivering a blow to Abby’s head, hard enough for her to take a little nap before throwing her over my shoulder and rushing away. Nora’s and Whitney’s shocked cries for Abby echo through the forest, their voices fading away into the distance.

The sun is only beginning to creep up into the sky when Abby stirs awake, her outstretched body retreating inwards as she jolts up and out of my bed, my sheets now a tossed mess. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She seethes out, eyes in narrow slits as she rubs the back of her neck and I just flip another page of my book resting on my lap as my legs are propped up on my desk.

“You were taking too long to decide, thought I’d save us both some time. By the way, you drool.” I gesture to my own chin and when she scoffs, I let out a small chuckle. 

“Real mature.” I forgot that some actual living people were so serious and standoffish. 

“You know just because you’ve got the rabid dog gene it doesn’t mean you need to act like a bitch all the time. You should learn to relax every now and then. I know Owen would agree.” Another scoff. I forgot how easy wolves are to rile up.

“Stop with the wolf bullshit. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Tell me Abigail, has your dad or Manny ever gone on a mini vacation or gone MIA for a night or two about once a month?” I can practically hear the cogs turning in that nearly vacant head of hers, eyes drifting off to the side as the first piece of the puzzle begins to fit. 

“Anyone in your family have anger issues? Your dad maybe?” I turn my attention back to my book, flipping another page even though I’m not reading any of the words. There’s no need for me anyway having read this book at least a hundred times over the centuries. Her body freezes at the mention of her dad, her heart halting only for a moment until I resume my questions.

“Have you had any anger issues in life?” She opens her mouth to answer but I cut her off, “Oh wait I already know the answer to that. You did after all stake me for interrupting your extracurricular activities with Owen. Although it didn’t seems like you were enjoying it much by the sounds of it.” Face flushing red, she rushes to change the subject.

“How are you not dead? I drove a stake through your heart.” This time I slam my book shut, spinning my chair to face Abby dead on.

“Firstly, you only lightly grazed my heart and secondly, contrary to popular belief, wood doesn’t actually kill vampires. Well it does for a bit but not completely.”

“What does kill you then?” 

“I’m not telling you that Van Helsing.” Her stupidity has my eyeballs reeling to the back of my head. “Now tell me about Joel and I’ll help you in return.” 

“What could you possibly help me with?”

“Tell me about Joel and then I’ll tell you. Plus you’re not leaving until I say so.”

“And if I refuse?” Defiance. How stupid.

“Then I’ll kill you.” Huffing in defeat she kicks her shoes off so she can sit cross-legged with my pillow propping up her back against the wall. I guess she’s going to be here for a while. 

Abby

Detective Whitmore is the first to speak, breaking the cold silence of the dark interrogation room of the station. The walls are peeling and I can practically smell the cement, and if it weren’t for the thumping of my own blood in my ears, I’m sure I’d be able to hear the termites in the walls burrowing away. 

“A janitor saw Owen Moores leaving Joel’s office after hearing them in a ‘heated discussion’- the janitor’s words- but I think we both know that it wasn’t just an argument was it Abigail?”

“Just Abby is fine. And I don’t know anything about it. Owen came back home and we just watched a movie then fell asleep.” I repeat the same sentence I had rehearsed a million times in my head since the moment I was dragged from my dorm room to the station at the ass crack of dawn. The station itself was right on the edges of the city of Seattle, a bridge between the isolated CCU campus, which was caged in by woods, waterfalls and low mountain peaks, and the outside world. If it weren’t for the school breaks, I’d forget the world existed outside of the campus. I knew Manny was in the backseat of the car behind the one that brought me here and no doubt, Detective Whitmore would be grilling us both, searching for even the faintest of cracks in our stories. 

“Okay then Abby, what time did Owen get home?” I shrug and tell him I don’t recall the time but just that it wasn’t that late. Manny would be saying the same thing, we both had a set of answers for any possible question these pricks could ask. 

“I just wanted to clarify if Owen is actually your boyfriend or if you’re just friends?” Okay every possible question except that one. I stammer, what relevance does that have to Joel’s whereabouts? 

“I- I don’t know. It’s complicated but we are friends.” My cheeks flush red, embarrassed that I sound like I’m trying to desperately convince myself instead of him. Detective Whitmore flicks a strand of his thick brown hair out of his face, so he can pierce me with those interrogating and somewhat unnaturally jade eyes, which looked much older than he actually was. The way he looked at me stirred something inside me. It’s like he knew something I didn’t and was just itching for it to reveal itself to me by blowing it up in my face. Even the smile on his face was forced, like he was just waiting for the red dot of the camera to blip away so he could show me his real face and ask the questions he already seemed to know the answers to. 

He continued pressing but every answer of mine was some variation of me not remembering or that nothing seemed out of the ordinary when Owen came back. 

“What do you think they argued about?” He asks and that knowing glint in his eyes intensifies and all I can do is stand my ground instead of crumbling like he intended with all his questions and accusations. He even accused me of kidnapping Joel and I internally scoffed, not even bothering to entertain such a wild suggestion. 

“What do you think Owen did to Professor Miller?” Another question, spoken harsher than the ones before. 

“Owen didn’t do anything to him!” I scream at the top of my lungs, not even caring that it’s almost eight in the morning but he’s kept me here for four hours, slipping in and out of the room after every round of grilling. Throwing my hands over my face in frustration I shoot up out of my seat, the plastic chair scraping against the pale grey floor and then slam my hands down onto the table. “You said it yourself, it was a ‘heated discussion’ not an argument,” My fingers pull quotation marks into the air, “Owen came back and he seemed fine. Maybe Owen was unhappy about his grades but he sure as hell didn’t have anything to do with Joel disappearing and neither did I. I have been here for hours. I have told you everything I know and you still won’t let me go. You can’t keep me here any longer.” I glare at this prick in his  fancy fitted suit and tie and all he does is smile at me, this time a genuine one, almost as if he’s entertained at me losing my shit. My chest heaves up and down turbulently and my jaw locked with gritted teeth, when he simply says,

“Nobody said you couldn’t leave, Abigail.” He shuffles in his chair across me, moving to rest his foot on his other leg, he leans back, like he’s about to watch a movie or read a book, and gestures to the door to my right. “Thank you for your time, Manny’s waiting at the front desk. We’ll be in touch if we have any follow ups.” 

I huff, grabbing my jacket that was hooked on my chair and stormed out the door. When an officer drops me to the main desk, Manny stands up from one of the sofas, dark bags drooping at his eyes and stifles a yawn. My head tucks under his chin as he pulls me into a warm hug, rubbing my back as he sees the goosebumps on my arm.

“Here, put this on Abs.” He says while taking my jacket from me before holding it up for me to wear. 

“Thanks. What did they ask you about Owen?” I ask as we leave through the double doors and down the stony steps, the morning sun almost blinding me as I almost forget that we’d been here most of the night.

“They didn’t ask me anything. The detective in the posh suit told me he didn’t need me but I could wait if I wanted to for you.” What? Why didn’t he need Manny? And why did he spend hours grilling me to death? He asked me what I told Whitmore and I said I gave him the truth. And the truth was that Owen did come back late at night and we watched a movie till we fell asleep, but what I failed to mention was that Owen had come home at two in the morning, three hours after he went to go see Joel. I told the truth, Owen did seem fine after he returned but his blood smudged jacket and hands told a different story. A story neither him or I could tell because Owen had been compelled to forget whatever had happened. Why else would he come back home, with no memory of his whereabouts or actions. Nor did I mention anything about Joel and the trials or the Cascade Five. 

Maya

“So you don’t actually know what happened?” Abby shakes her head. What a waste of a time. I hum in response. I know she’s telling the truth because I may have slipped into her head while she slept. Now all I had to do was get into Owen’s head because even if he was compelled, his subconscious would still remember. 

“You said you could help me. I want you to help me fix Owen. He can’t remember anything from that night. And I need him to remember.” I think we all need Owen to remember. 

“Did you know werewolves have to trigger their curse in order to turn under each full moon?” She scoffs, frustration radiating from her as I dismiss her plea for Owen’s memories. I know why she wants Owen to remember because I looked in her head but it has nothing to do with Joel so I don’t care. “The day a werewolf gets his or her first ever kill, is the day their curse is activated. Most of them don’t even realise they were supernatural beings until one day they get a little too angry in a fight or cause a fatal accident.”

“Even if what you’re saying is true, I’ve never killed anyone, neither has Manny and my dad sure as hell hasn’t either.” I fight back a laugh, she really is so naive.

“Let’s say they didn’t but what about you Abby?”

“What about me?” She crosses her arms defensively.

“Well you said it yourself, you did leave me for dead in the backseat of a car after driving a stake through my heart.”

[circusgoth-dotcom]

Kinsey

Ship: Wade Wilson x Corey (one-off)

Word Count: 914

Summary: This one-off timeline is brought to you by; baby fever induced by seeing cute tiny humans in my day-to-day life and a rapidly approaching period. It was required for my mental health to write Wade being soft and dadly. CWs for Wade essentially breaking into my s/i's apartment (though there are no hard feelings in this situation), Wade being kind of stalkery, brief pregnancy mention.

Tag List: @canongf @futurewife

Corey had, unwittingly and unknowingly, attracted and befriended one Deadpool a few months ago. Deadpool was a mercenary who was very particular about his branding… not once had Corey seen what was beneath the red and black spandex suit. Frankly, it hadn’t yet crossed his mind to ask. Corey was, among many things, a part-time bartender. Wade had come into their workplace, initially on duty, but became distracted by Corey’s “sad sexiness.” Wade had described him as a cemetery statue that had seen better days. It didn’t amuse him at the time, but he had grown to understand what his odd “friend” meant. Since that night, Wade had regularly visited Corey. Recently he had even begun to find him outside of work. He dreaded the day he showed up unannounced at his apartment.

Unfortunately, this was that day. Corey had been savouring a moment of peace with a mug of cocoa and his laptop when he heard a rattling at his window. He looked up and nearly spilt his drink when he saw Deadpool clinging to the false balcony and waving happily. He set aside his things and opened the window.

“What the Hell?” He hissed as the merc forced his way into the apartment.

“You weren’t picking up my calls so I decided I’d make sure you weren’t dead,” he grinned under his mask. “Luckily, you aren’t!”

“Keep it down…” Corey waved his hands down as he spoke in a lowered tone. “How did you find my address??”

Regrettably, Deadpool didn’t heed Corey’s request and continued to talk at his natural volume, which could border on loud if he was excited. “I put a tracker on your phone, duh. That’s how I knew it wasn’t dead, so something had to be up with you, specifically—”

“Shhh!!” Too late. A faint crying could be heard down the hall and Corey sighed, running his hands over his face. “I just put him down for a nap…”

The glaring white eyes of Deadpool’s mask blinked slowly as Corey bustled off. He soon followed, the cogs in his mind turning. He gasped as they entered a small nursery. In a wool-lined crib, a baby was fussing.

“Did the bad man wake you up, hm?” Corey cooed in a tired voice as he began to soothe the infant.

“You have a kid?!”

“Deadpool.”

“Sorry, sorry…” He lowered his voice, “You have a kid??”

“I do.”

“But… you’re so young, I mean…”

Corey snorted. “Don’t have to tell me twice. If it wasn’t for my ex I wouldn’t be stuck with him.” He gently bounced the baby on his chest, pressing his nose against his head. “I wouldn’t give him up for the world.”

“How old is he?” The merc was being uncharacteristically gentle and still, as if simply standing in the same room as the child would cause him to combust.

“A year. His name’s Kinsey, after my ex’s grandfather. Went through the whole ordeal of getting me pregnant, manipulating me into having him, naming him, and then he… well, I threw him out because I was sick of his shit. But he refuses to pay child support. So it’s up to me to make sure little Kenny can afford to go to school, when the time comes.”

They were both quiet for a moment. Wade was imploding. Everything he thought he knew about Corey was flipped upside down in that moment, and he knew that he had to make a decision. Corey said something and it came to him muffled.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you wanted to hold him.”

Wade completely froze. “Oh, uhm, I…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. He’s almost back asleep.”

He stiffly held out his arms and made some sort of noise of encouragement. Corey gave him a funny look, then carefully lowered Kinsey into his arms. I haven’t done this in so long.

“You don’t have to hold your breath,” Corey teased lightly, placing a hand on his bicep. “He’s fragile, but you’re not going to hurt him by exhaling. This your first time holding a baby?”

“... No…” He slowly released his breath and let himself relax into muscle memory. “But I don’t really want to talk about that right now.”

Corey nodded. “That’s okay. I mean, this is the most vulnerable I’ve ever seen you, so I’m not going to judge… and I’m certainly not going to push you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

Another pause. “Why don’t you go sit down? You look exhausted. I can put him down.”

Corey hesitated, then tightened his grip on Wade’s arm. His expression was deadly serious. “I know this is just a little thing in the grand scheme, but I’m putting a lot of trust in you, Deadpool. That’s a huge fucking thing considering your line of work and general… haphazardness. Do you understand what I’m getting at here?”

“Yes,” Deadpool responded in an equally serious tone. I wouldn’t dream of hurting your kid. Even if he becomes a future hit, I’d kill the guy who put out the hit before even thinking of touching this rosy-cheeked bundle of joy.

“Good.” Corey’s hand relaxed and he left the room. Kinsey had finally fallen asleep.

“Don’t give your old man too much Hell, alright? He’s working really hard for you,” Wade whispered before putting him back in the crib. If I walk out now he’ll think I’m just like his ex. Damn it, I am such a fucking sap!

[seas-storyarchive]

Tennysons and Tennydotters AU

Ben, Albedo and Eunice are triplets (give Carl and Sandra all the children, they have such Pure Parent Energytm)

- Ben looks the same

- Albedo has red hair and brown eyes

- Eunice has blonde hair and green eyes

[[MORE]]

- Ben and Albedo share a room

- Eunice has her own room

- Ben gets the Omnitrix

- Albedo has the brains - often rubs his intelligence in Gwen's face, but is often disconnected from emotions of others and especially himself

- Eunice is Animal Lover - be they alien animals or earth animals. Also gets a sword, her parents encourage her study of the blade and Sandra even "learns to help Eunice"

Carl told all of them about their alien heritage and their grandpa's plumber job - mainly because Albedo and Eunice went snooping through the attic, Albedo because he was bored/curious and Eunice because she could hear a small animal trapped up there (it was a squirrel, it was released back into the wild)

Sandra just tells them she came from "a noble family of British roots", even having the Wilson Family Crest* on display above the mantle

Frank is moreso hesitant to tell his twin kids Gwen and Ken about their heritage, preferring to sweep it under the rug

Natalie is fine with this

Because of the kids, Carl is stronk but also has early onset dad bod to hide his muscles and to make others underestimate how strong he is untill he does a thing

Frank just hides it under his dumb sweaters, he also doesn't get to display it much because of his job

Sandra despises Natalie with a passion, which is no secret among the adult members of the family even though she never says anything about it (it's the body language and subtle tone shift whenever the two are around each other), which is mutual and Natalie lets everyone know she dislikes Sandra

Sandra, being a diabetic, is careful with what she eats, but doesn't insist on her family being vegetarians - mainly due to Ben's and Albedo's love of chili fries

Carl has taught all of his kids how to change tires (and how to hot wire a car should they need to)

- Carl technically had a criminal record as a teenager, being arrested multiple times and almost put in Juvie. Max pulled some strings with his Plumber friends in law enforcement to get those erased permanently and spent time with his youngest to get to the root of the problem, and took time off from the Plumbers to be with his kids

- Carl straightened his act out after this and kept his record clean, even volunteering in the community to make up for what he did; still does in current day and encouraging his kids to do so too

- that work was how he met Sandra

Frank has always been reserved in contrast to his bro

- keeping his nose clean

- which is why he and Natalie get along so well, with her being "in control" of the relationship. Carl once, which rightfully so ended in him getting a black eye, asked Frank why he was in such a "vanilla" relationship with a controlling woman

- he hopes his niece and nephew won't be so.. bland in their relationships in the future and that find people who make them happy instead of miserable like he knows his brother is - he does hope that for his kids too, but he and Sandra were great examples for them but given Frank's situation.. yeah