#which it sort of is I guess
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
#i think about this story sometimes like yeah I'm proud of them for that too actually. good job baby brothers#they're not babies anymore of course they're turning 20 next year which is crazy#but they're still the type of people who'd do something if they saw something of this sort happen for sure#respectful of women and everyone else too. they're good guys#I'm glad I ended up with them living in my house against my will for like 14 years#anyway i have no idea where i was for all this but my best guess is probably a friends house given the time period#i was always at my besties house lol#i hope she's doing well too actually. haven't spoken in forever...#bestie from greek elementary school... if you're out there... let's get muffins and fanta at the bakery across the street again someday 💜☮️
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How do you...decide what you actually want to do with your life?
#realized recently that if I had started a degree a year ago when I first thought about it I'd be halfway done by now#instead of still puttering along not sure what I actually want to do or study#looking for jobs that would pay more but be boring and unfulfilling because I don't want to be worried about money#but also shouldn't I be doing something that inspires or motivates me?#like this is partially my latest existential crisis speaking#but I think I've just been putting off making any actual decisions about the future? and pretending that waiting *is* the decision?#which it sort of is I guess#I just want to be able to afford shit#and also want to be able to make a difference and do shit I care about and not be terribly overworked#almost 30 feels way too late to not know what I actually want to *do*#almost 30 also feels too late to start (over) in some kind of creative endeavor#like there's so many things I could have decided to get off the ground in the last few years#and the truth of the matter is I haven't cared about or liked any of them enough to do it?#but I probably need to pick something an decide to care even if it's not always fascinating? like that's how people do life?#so I should just fucking pick something?#but I also just. I want to be able to afford to travel. I want to move to a nicer apartment. I want to go out for dinner when I want to#and shop at the independent bookstore#and take a weaving class#and a creative job or even something that is marginally interesting but professional isn't going to provide that for me#and it pisses me off so much because I'm so tired! of seeing other people! able to do all those things!#and I know that everyone's lives are different and I don't know what goes on behind the scenes#but what I would give for a partner who made bank and could support my fumbling...#anyway I have to see a bunch of people I haven't seen in years soon and clearly I'm handling it totally fine#and not at all having a crisis about what I've done with my life since college hahaha
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can't believe garak went from 'hope you have fun following my little breadcrumb trail of maybe-truths doctor it builds character ;)' at the beginning of the show to '*sigh* fuck it here's the whole loaf. the entire fucked up bakery of my soul. if you somehow still wanna have sex with me after this you know where I am, yours in infinite longing etc.' in a stitch in time. has anyone ever been so pathetically horrifically enduringly down bad as garak is for julian (laudatory)
#that's some real lodestar simp stuff you've got going on garak and I'm so happy for you/sorry . I guess that's the thing about love#garashir#elim garak#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#I take the same approach to 'a stitch in time' that I do to deacon's final story in fallout 4 -- I'm agnostic on if ALL details are true#but overall it's certainly *emotionally* truer than even the truth could be sort of situation. genuinely emotionally intimate finally.#which I think is the more important part#and part of that is being weapons grade longing material fjdskjafsa. off the pining scale.
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not to take away from charles’ well deserved spotlight in ep3, but man. imagining the devlin house from edwin’s perspective is pretty damn rough in its own right. but in a way he doesn’t even seem to realize or process. like specifically, mainly, the fact that he stands there, unfazed, watching this family get cut up with an axe over and over and over. you know who else got cut up and torn apart and killed over and over and over? you know who else was stuck in a seemingly unending cycle feeling the pain of dying every single time? oh yeah
#rambling#and then there’s the fuckin. misery wraith#which. his reaction to that is……..interesting#he doesn’t freeze up or freak out on a dysfunctional level he just goes directly into survival mode#and doesn’t appear all that scared. again I guess he’s just so. so desensitized that he’s almost sort of forgotten the level of terror he’s#supposed to feel at such things#idk I know I’m overthinking this but. it’s interesting to#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives
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Transitional phase
#isat spoilers#act 6 secret encounter#inspired by loop and loop adjascent designs by sharkylass and wonder-of-the-stars yay yay yay MY BRAIN EXPANDS ily guys#i think at this point im sure i'll never settle on 1 post-story loop design so i think they probably phase in and out of a human form#which is still mostly their own body but they regain some functions like the ability to eat and also their face and clothes#now with inbetween stages i guess?! i just thought it looked cute honestly. im playing. with my touys.#it's probably not fully in their control how they look at any given time. but they definitely stay stuck in star form for a while.#and get better control of keeping the 'human mask' on longer the more they practice#u can sort of see their eye scar in the transitional phase but it bursts out into the bright star that covers the eye in human form#in stars and time spoilers#isat#in stars and time#isat loop#my art
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redesigning my headcanon for Sebek's parents, based on important new information (SCALES)
(you can't see it but they're both wearing crocs)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#they are truly the most inspiring love story of our generation#though i guess he's not dr. zigvolt since zigvolt is the clan name...#unless he took her name which i absolutely could see. why would you ever not want to be called zigvolt.#this does tie nicely in with my headcanon that sebek's siblings got more of the fae features than he did#and he has a Complex about it#i get the impression that sebek's siblings are much closer in age to each other and also have more of their dad's chill#so sebek is sort of the baby of the family and he's got a Complex about that too#i think a lot about the zigvolt family for characters who have never actually appeared#on the subject of actual canon though#i do actually really appreciate that both sebek and silver each had a little moment of reassuring each other#that this is 400 years ago and also incredibly unfortunate circumstances#and present-day reality lilia and baul love them very much#(i do think sebek is secretly baul's favorite grandkid)#it was just nice to see! especially from sebek! he is sometimes a very thoughtful boy and it's always nice to see that side of him#sebek trying SO hard to get baul to like him though 😭#and lilia being like 'aw i think you're getting kind of fond of him :)'#i love. Characters.
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Reading flatland and obviously Bill’s home dimension and flatland aren’t exactly the same, but like. Since we don’t know which parts are different I’m just thinking. This is really unorganized and all over the place and probably doesn’t make any sense but
In flatland, it takes a LOT of planning for an equilateral triangle to be born. I’m talking like generations of interbreeding and methods for the fathering isosceles to get as close to equilateral as possible. It’s a huge deal. When an equilateral is created, it’s celebrated by pretty much everyone (for a miriad of different reasons but I won’t get into that). And being “irregular” in any respect is one of the worst things you can be. If you don’t “fix” your irregularity enough, you’re executed.
So imagine Bill’s family working their triangular asses off to have an equilateral kid, to give him a better life, and when they finally do it, he’s got that eye. From what we’ve seen of his parents, they seem to have taken care of him as best they could, but again, it’s been a whole ordeal just to have him, involving the whole community and family, and he came out wrong.
I imagine that’s probably why his parents took him to see the doctor and drink the “juice” that messed with his vision. They thought they were doing what was best for him. They didn’t blame him for his eye, didn’t hate him for it, but they felt the need to fix him, either to please their families or even just bring him to their own standards. The idea of irregularity being wrong is seen as natural and obvious, so they wouldn’t find an issue with trying to change him.
Another thing about flatland is that the mention of any third dimension or any idea close to that is pretty much criminal. (Spoilers i guess) The narrator of the story, a square who saw the third dimension for himself, is eventually locked away for talking about it.
So Bill was supposed to be a sort of miracle baby, I guess is the best way to put it. And when he came out just slightly but irreparably wrong, it was devastating. And then he starts spouting about 3D and the stars and he just wants people to understand, to see that it’s not dangerous, that it’s beautiful. But his parents don’t want him to get imprisoned or worse, so they try to keep him quiet. They give him his juice and his silly straws and wave away any ideas about the third dimension.
Bill was born a disappointment, one of the lowest life forms imaginable, and the only way he was gonna get anywhere in life was by losing his stars forever. He was told that the thing right in front of him wasn’t real, that he should stop talking about it, that he could get in trouble. So he had to show everyone that he was right. He would be a hero! He would be the kid who finally discovered where the light came from, something no scientist had ever gotten close to figuring out!
But in the end his parents were right. It was too dangerous. God bill tragic backstory is so ougrhhhhj grabs alex hirsch by the shoulders and shakes him
#another rant post which surprises nobody#tbob#the book of bill#bill cipher#gravity falls#baby bill cipher#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#the book of bill spoilers#sort of??#la la la la la#flatland#I guess#evil triangle you’re doing things to me
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day 1821 - half a decade!
redraw of day 1, 364, and 1000, but with a twist - now it's also my frogsona :D
for now i'll be taking a (maybe permanent) break for at least the rest of the year! see you in 2025!
previous versions for comparison below!
#amphibian#frog#frogsona#self#actaully i used a toad for reference i like their shape most#so i guess my frogsona is technically a toad (which is just a more specific frog but. you know)#also i cannot stress enough everyone has been so kind throughout the years it's been a pleasure to know my art has brightened your days :)#ok one funny thing is#i've been looking through the old art reminiscing. seeeing if i can pick a favorite per 100 days (the art is sorted in folders of 100 each)#and every single folder i look through i can't pick a favorite because i like so many of them#and every tsingle folder i think to myself 'oh that was a good 100 days there's lots of great ones'#even the earliest days where my anatomy was pretty terrible and my style was so different from what i like now. it's sitll great#it feels really great to be able to look back at my art and think that :)#and my favorites range from ones that are technically skilled to just cute or funny ideas#i think it's a good reminder to myself that art doesn't have to be perfect to be good :)#another important thing im realizing is a majority of my favorites are the ones that tell a story or joke in some way#a scene and/or background do SO MUCH for my own enjoyment of my art#even just some shapes and color in the background elevate it imo
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@elodieunderglass I think you would appreciate this 3D printing project I found for adding legs to an IKEA Lämplig. More images and source files are on Thingiverse, so if you have access to a 3D printer you can make them yourself!
#it also comes with a file called NutInMe.stl#that you can print and stick a nut in to make sure your nuts will fit in the legs#also you can see the provenance of the file on thingivers#from which I have learned that someone started with a model of a leg#and then expanded it to a nearly-complete human body#and then someone else took the human body and stripped it back down to the leg#in a sort of bizarre STL atavism#asses to asses‚ legs to legs I guess#3d printing#horrible things with legs
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I find the most interesting difference between Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan isn't "malice" and "kindness" but rather Shen Jiu being a desperate-to-survive sore loser and Shen Yuan being an uncompetitive good sport, and it's interesting to see how their differences kind of flow from those two opposing traits
Both are desperate to survive in their own ways, however I guess you could argue Shen Jiu did everything to secure the life he wanted, meanwhile Shen Yuan idled and idled until fire was put under his ass and he finally had to do something to secure better living standards for himself
You could argue Shen Jiu has a stronger will to survive, but even being alive he didn't seem to enjoy it and be happy all that much. Meanwhile Shen Yuan strives for very little but generally is happy with the bare necessities and choosing to just loudly inflate his complaints about little things instead, which probably endears him to the people around him
#my text#idk just had vague thoughts about their difference in desperate competitiveness#you could also extraplate how being a sore loser didnt lend well to developing friendships or showing vulnerability#which meant shen yuan could just seemingly effortlessly develop sqq's relationships while sj suffered to do the same#maybe that lack of vunerable honesty was why sj failed to save lqg on a meta level#a man as hard headed as lqg wouldnt respond well to such an acidic sort of help that strongly tied to sj's pride and face#even if he wanted to genuinely prevent his death#i guess sj is bitterly saving any face he can#while sy is just embarrassed about losing face in just a cringe way#the ignorant insecurity-feeler vs the enlightened petty cringer. i guess lol#svsss#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#shen jiu#jiuyuan#scumcum
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Director of the False Last Act
#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv spoilers#han sooyoung#art i made#another of the drawings i fished out of my drafts that i completely forgot id started#if the face doesnt look like how i usually draw hsy uh. i apparently did the lineart like 4 months ago#and the way i used to draw her was WAY different#like i had to redo the face cuz i was like man this aint my girl wtf#oh yeah the sort of. watsonian reason why the title of the book shes holding is scrubbed out is bc it could either be twsa or orv i guess#the doylist reason is i couldnt decide between twsa or orv so now its neither LOL#side note but like. intellectually i know the thousand hand guan yin is like an actual thing in buddhism but my familiarity with it is#mostly from the dance move#so like as i was colouring this i was just imagining hsy like creating this pose in universe w the avatars which. one hell of an image#only two of the hands are supposed to represent like specific points in the story the rest are just. symbolic...?#the lemon candy one is obvious and the knife one is meant to be from when she stabs 49!kdj in the epilogue#also holy god im so bad at coming up with backgrounds for this kind of art#the original background i had i think i was trying to make it look like some kind of. book cover...? hence the borders#whatever it was it wasnt working#now i have no idea what its supposed to be 👍 like its giving. poorly designed tarot card
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i’m very baffled by the logistics of how lucanis’ early act 2 companion quest bloodbath ended. he was unconscious, right? and we’ve all just been fighting waist deep in blood? did we carry him back to the cantori diamond eluvian through the streets covered in that much blood. because i have to believe you’re not getting an unconscious man across those ziplines. did anyone say anything or do people in treviso just live like this. was everyone at the diamond just like yeah another working day at crow hq nothing to see here
#veilguard spoilers#i guess it serves as an explanation for my more pressing question which is why we just let illario leave#instead of pressing that line of questioning. had to get our boy out. or drag him across half of treviso whatever you want to call it#i mean at least sol COULD carry him. idk what non warriors are doing#maybe he was sort of semi conscious enough to limp. i wasnt really clear on a lot of the situation.
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i have decided to break my lack of original posting on this blog to bring you my Thoughts on Rot in Paradise. because i played it as soon as i got up this morning and i have scoured for some opinions after finishing it, and now i have my own!!
(and also i posted this on twitter but twitter has such a Shit wordcount that i'm also posting my things here with More Detail)
so! spoilers under the cut, please go and play the game if you haven't. it takes literally an hour (it only took nearly 2 hours for me because i like voice acting by myself and exploring every nook and cranny) and it's also free. so maybe come back into the tag once you're done.
okay, so i noticed quite a number of people being confused and disappointed on the lack of an explanation for the monster. it's brought up in the story as the central thing driving the plot, but it's never explained on what "she" is, why she's compelling people to eat a ton of fish-related food or hell, metal, and why this doesn't impact June at all.
but you know what I think?
i think that that's the point. the focus of rot in paradise isn't supposed to be on the monster.
yeah, it's the thing that pushes the plot along besides June and the gang going on vacation in this island. it's what's causing that uneasiness from the moment that guy grabs June's arm at the drinks, to the sheer unnerving feeling of witnessing people going to the ocean to get Raptured basically. i know i personally felt a chill when i saw that one dude literally eating chains and the other hauling an anchor, as if they're trying to make themselves heavier so they get taken by whatever She is.
but that's not the main point! the main conflict is about June and her friends.
as people have pointed out, this game is about toxic friendships and relationships! it's foreshadowed in the conversation that June has with the gang about her cousin (which i will also get into), and it carries it through the way her friends are horribly warped by this ocean Creature. June goes on a silly little vacation trip with her friends only for them to become so so different from themselves that they lash out at her and even hit her in McCoy's case.
but she still sticks it out with them. through the whole game, even despite their verbal abuse, despite being slapped, despite them being people that she can hardly recognise. she stays with them for the whole game, up until the point where you are given the two options at the very end. and she could still stay with them.
because they're still her friends. she cares about them even if they still hurt her. from the way June still tells Carmen to tell June if she needs anything after Carmen literally tells her to shut up and leave, the way June worries about Vonnie eating seafood even though she continues to stuff herself despite being implied to either hate or make an active choice to not eat seafood, to the way June still trudges out to sea screaming for McCoy to come back to the shore as he wades further in even after he slapped her until her nose bled.
it mirrors the conversation about her cousin, the reason for why June was looking forward to the vacation. that while she did comfort her cousin through all of it, June clearly says that "they were dickheads, and she should have ditched them a long time ago".
but it's funny, isn't it? that June, an outsider to her cousin's friend group, easily sees the pain that her cousin's friends are causing her, and immediately calls it as it is. that her cousin should have left the second they hurt her.
and yet now, when her friends hurt her, even though this was a quick and sudden change that happened in a span of three days, June still sticks around. her friends are dickheads right now, and we can see that in the way they interact with June, but she still stays.
because they're her friends. and how could she just leave them like this if it's something that's causing them to be this way?
so no, i don't think the monster is supposed to be the main picture. we don't need to know what it looks like, or why it needs to do this to the islanders, or how it's even doing it in the first place. it adds to the scariness of the game, as per the Spooktober Game Jam, sure, but that's not the point. might be a bit disappointing to some, but that's not the point.
the point is about June, and the choice that she needs to make at the end of the game.
it's a choice on whether she chooses to be pulled deeper into the tides and be with the friends who hurt her and will continue to hurt her in this way,
or to leave them to their fates, whether deserved or not, and resurface to a world where she's alone without her friends.
and even though the first choice hurts much more in the long run, doesn't the second hurt even more in the moment? knowing that you're alone at the end of all of this?
even if it is the right choice, i'm sure the pain must be unbearable in the moment.
#Rot in Paradise#Rot in Paradise Spoilers#RIP Spoilers#Studio Investigrave#this game isn't supposed to have a happy ending i'm sure. june's gotta deal with it no matter the ending#also because its not super relevant to the contents (more spoilers in tags)#i also see people speculate on why ryan just upped and went in as well#people say its possibly because he tried helping too much that he got sucked in (which i can see it!)#but also i'm wondering if he was sorta on the fence in terms of being got by the monster?#yeah he was on june's side but there was that moment at the bar with the woman and the metal shrapnel that he went-#“uh don't know about that but it did look like a huge chunk”. like he's sort of wavering on it?#but also i wonder if june's words on sunday night got to him. where she thought that maybe von mccoy and carmen were right#and that they were wrong. did that get into ryan's head? did he second guess himself?#did he go into the ocean wanting? leaving after giving june one last reminder of him (the jacket) as some sort of comfort?#man i don't know. but this game do be getting the cogs turning.
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people's magazine sexiest man alive (3d model study)
#a sort of sequel to that one hdb painting i made a while ago. managed to make this one more detailed and like 3 times faster than that one#which is kinda cool ! i guess. idk if i should be proud of getting better at copying lol#disco elysium#my art#extravagances#kim kitsuragi
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzy’s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.
“Israel-goddamn-Hands!” he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging “Samuel-fucking-Bellamy”, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he can’t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still there’s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mate’s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that something’s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal he’s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. “Israel, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safe”
And Izzy… hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam “...We’re staying in port for a week. Ask me again then”
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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