#which I think is the more important part
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can't believe garak went from 'hope you have fun following my little breadcrumb trail of maybe-truths doctor it builds character ;)' at the beginning of the show to '*sigh* fuck it here's the whole loaf. the entire fucked up bakery of my soul. if you somehow still wanna have sex with me after this you know where I am, yours in infinite longing etc.' in a stitch in time. has anyone ever been so pathetically horrifically enduringly down bad as garak is for julian (laudatory)
#that's some real lodestar simp stuff you've got going on garak and I'm so happy for you/sorry . I guess that's the thing about love#garashir#elim garak#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#I take the same approach to 'a stitch in time' that I do to deacon's final story in fallout 4 -- I'm agnostic on if ALL details are true#but overall it's certainly *emotionally* truer than even the truth could be sort of situation. genuinely emotionally intimate finally.#which I think is the more important part#and part of that is being weapons grade longing material fjdskjafsa. off the pining scale.
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i canāt show it to him bc itās basically my personal diary he went āoh so I canāt see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??ā he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#Itās just so different#even though itās public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head Iām also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts Iād feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. Iām not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile Iāll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. Iām already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. itās so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& Iāve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc Iām surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least itās hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and Iām part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#itās nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and itās low stress and people get me#I donāt have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. itās just nice to have this#so idk thatās why I think Iāll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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Palestinian freedom fighters breaking out of Gaza and reclaiming their occupied territories. Theyāve taken over israeli tanks and have chased out the settlers that were on that land. Theyāve launched rockets everywhere and the iron dome has failed to intercept. This is about to mark a momentous event in history.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
#free palestine#it feels so surreal and so shocking#thereās so much hope but so much fear#you just know theyāre about to retaliate with the genocide theyāve been planning for years now#i fear for my palestinian brothers and sisters but this is so fucking huge#they tore down part of the barbed wire fence!!!! the people of Gaza are breaking out!!!!#god thereās so much more on twitter but i beg if you look do NOT look at non-palestinian sources#theyāre twisting the narrative as if this isnāt retaliation for 76 years of torture#as if the israeli forces and settlers didnāt kill 4 palestinians yesterday alone#as if they havenāt killed nearly 300 palestinians this year alone#do NOT let the media trick you into thinking anything after will be a retaliation to an attack Palestine started#PALESTINE is the one retaliating#also if youāre gonna come in here with both sides or whatever sincerely block me and lmk so i can blokc you#theyāve already out out statements to leave children and the elderly alone so any middle aged fuckers are free to kill :)#which is fine since theyāve likely killed hundreds if not thousands of their friends and family and neighbors anyway#tag: important#fuck israel#gaza#tag: october 7 2023
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.Ā
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzyās face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.Ā
āIsrael-goddamn-Hands!ā he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging āSamuel-fucking-Bellamyā, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he canāt keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still thereās an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mateās aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that somethingās different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal heās been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. āIsrael, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safeā
And Izzyā¦ hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam ā...Weāre staying in port for a week. Ask me again thenā
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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still kinda not over ichiro taking a bite out of his hamburger in the leaders bonus hypster track and going 'it's so good!! it tastes really meaty!!' lmao
#vee queued to fill the void#ichiro's been shown to be somewhat neglectful towards himself when it comes to food lol#he knows what tastes good to have made the world class yamada curry tho despite not having the vocabulary for it lol#and that's the most important part tbh lol tho i kinda wonder if he workshopped it with anybody š¤#like in that dod chapter where samatoki gives ichiro his new home and business lol before daddy samatoki showed up#the bros were all eating convenience store bento boxes which means none of them were cooking for each other yet#and that might be consequence of their living space at the time lol but what if after the upgrade#ichiro felt more obligated to cook for his bros so they could grow well with good food and needed advice on cooking lol#i think it'd be cute if nmcd all got together to help ichiro learn to cook is what i'm saying lol#equally as cute is if the bros got together and taught themselves (tho that may have been a trainwreck lol)#but jiro and saburo both describe the yamada curry as ichiro's so that tells me it's usually an ichiro recipe#but anyway samatoki learned to bake for his sister ichiro would definitely be the same mindset#but let's give ichiro more happy moments associated with food like kuukou's lowkey already been trying to do lol#and have all his friends workshop the recipe with him š„ŗš„ŗš„ŗ#vee is arting#save for that kuukou comic this is the last of my art backlog lol#which means no more art for another three months or sumn lmao šššššš#(i need to promise to myself to not go that long without drawing again lol ššššš)
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landing
#i'd recommend zooming in bc the changes between panels are pretty subtle. they'll be easier to see on the cropped versions but i wanted to#include the whole thing too because i think it looks nice like that :)#opening up to yukina as the final hopeful yet unresolved part of hiei's arc of learning to trust and love and be loved by others is like.#aughh. fascinating choice anyway here's a take on how it'd go. from me. a sap#smth smth hiei letting his vulnerability show via the thing that unites them (bloodline via the hiruseki stone) which is inherently tied#to emotion and letting his feelings about her and his past show to someone. grahh#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yukina#hiei#skrunkart#also due to the title and the organization of this comic one could call this a landing strip#anyway um. posting more yyh but this time it's not funny at all oops. glad y'all liked the other one though jksdjfkjs#anyway yukina's important you should talk about her more#would also like to point out how in the final panel hiei doesn't actually touch her with his other arm. it's just resting on his hand#enclosing her but still kinda distant. he's still got some healing to do#edit argh i uploaded a slightly wrong version. fixed now. it just didn't have yukina's crying onomotopoeia#but i wanted them back in bc sound is so important to this one#WAIT PANELS SWAPPED. FIXED FR NOW#ANYWAY HIEI MY BELOVED MY EVERYTHING. LOVE THAT LITTLE GUY#also shoutout to devoted sibling characters. they really get it
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1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#dont think they will learn anything#i know its pessimistic but like#as if the critics were in any way as loud or popular as those worshipping it#i feel so bad for having contributed twice to its sales and earnings#i bought it normally (later sold that to a coworker) and the collectors#which i sold but i only got back the money a normal new one would have cost#and it was also only bc i was buying sth else and it was literally in prime condition#like he said it wouldnt matter bc he cant give me more but then even he said holy shit thats literlly like unopened lol#i mean ... most of it was never opnened xD just took the game out once and put it back once thats it#i feel extra scammed bc it was the first and only collectors edition i ever owned#and i dont think i will ever buy one again#and might regret that#i still wish i had known how much i liked botw to get its special one ... but i didnt have the money back then either way#but id rather miss out on that than spend so much money on sth i will forever regret having spend money on#and i worry for the future bc the āstory is the least important partā guy and ālol you can only like the old games bc nostalgiaā guy-#-being in charge of the franchise arent giving me much hope for anything better#especially after totks success
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LYTA HALL & ROSE WALKER The Sandman, S01E08: Playing House dedicated to @violetoftheendless
#lyta hall#rose walker#the sandman#sandman#kyo ra#razane jammal#sandmanverse#sandmancentral#*#*my gifs#this has a part 2 which is important to why i really really liked show!lyta over comics!lyta#dont get me wrong i still liked comics!lyta#but i really love her in the show! much more than the mourning widow/mother or scorned woman trope which makes her more 3-dimensional#i think ill post it tomorrow? we shall see#i havent had much time or mental capacity for creative stuff recently so im sorry for the delay! ik i promised this a couple months ago#anyway <3 more to come#btw i went ahead and fixed the aspect ratio. they look so much closer to their actors now#i experienced so much whiplash looking up kyo ra and razane jammal. i was like who are those ppl??
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency ā Part Three
For Xiantober Day Five: Past and Present, in which the author gets very unhinged about what parts of the past are shown and how thatās affected by the present!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
The Power of Agency: Shaping the Narrative
When I've discussed Wei Wuxian's agency previously, Iāve talked about how whatās shown and omitted tells us about a character, and weāve talked about the character himself. Though this is a niche topic, itās not necessarily something out of the ordinary to analyse, and we can assume everything up to here has been in some way intentional.
This? Linking structure to a characterās in-universe preferences?
This is where we get unhinged.
Before I start, letās quickly establish something which will be important later: although Wei Wuxian is the central character, MDZS isnāt strictly from his POV. While omitting events a character doesnāt like to dwell on and concealing things the character wishes to hide is common in books with only one narrator, MDZS has multiple narrators which it switches between relatively quickly. This includes Wei Wuxian, but it also includes nearly every major character that appears in the story, and omniscient narrator as well. As a default, this format doesnāt lead to this deliberate shaping and omission because of one characterās preferences, since we have many other sources of information and events ā which is what makes Wei Wuxianās influence over the narrative and structure so interesting. We could have access to a lot more information, and access to it at different times, than we do (and thatās not an insult, quite the opposite!).
To begin: weāve established that times such as Wei Wuxianās time on the streets, his three months in the Burial Mounds and his loss in the Siege arenāt shown because Wei Wuxian has little agency there. But thatās not the only special thing about them. Theyāre also the three most traumatic times in his life, and so moments Wei Wuxian himself either canāt remember, or doesnāt like to dwell on.
This is why discussing Wei Wuxianās treatment of tragedy in his life was important. Firstly, it shows he doesnāt focus on the tragedy in his life, so the idea that the narrative not focusing on this tragedy relates to his character has merit; secondly, it affirms that this is not a passive trait, but a choice. Therefore, when the narrative omits events due to this aspect of Wei Wuxian, itās respecting not only a character detail ā which would be cool by itself ā but also an active decision. One that shapes the story itās made in.
In other words, its very structure is respecting Wei Wuxianās agency!
Now, of course there are flashbacks to other moments of his past he probably wouldnāt like to dwell on, too. But within the structure, theyāre only shown when Wei Wuxian is thinking about them (or when he has reason to)!
Wei WuXian hadnāt woken up yet. His eyes were still tightly shut, yet his hand didnāt let go either. He seemed to be dreaming, muttering, āā¦ Donātā¦ Donāt be angryā¦ā Lan WangJi seemed somewhat surprised. His voice was gentle, āI am not angry.ā Wei WuXian, āā¦ Oh.ā Hearing this, as though he finally felt assured, his fingers loosened. Lan WangJi sat beside Wei WuXian for a while. Seeing that he was motionless again, he was about to stand up when Wei WuXian grabbed him with his other hand, hugging his arm and refusing to let go. He shouted, āIāll go with you, quick, take me back to your sect!ā Chapter 63, EXR translation
Which, of course, is him dwelling onā¦
Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, āGo back to Gusu with me.ā Hearing this, both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were surprised. Quickly afterward, Wei WuXian laughed, āGo back to Gusu with you? To the Cloud Recesses? Why go there?ā He immediately seemed to realize, āOh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. Youāre his proudest disciple, so of course youāre the same as him, haha. I refuse.ā Chapter 62, EXR translation
ā¦the painful flashback immediately preceding this. The third set of flashbacks (which are also painful) are a similar case. Look at the contex:
He lifted the bottom of his robe, revealing a prosthetic leg made of wood, āThis leg of mine was destroyed by you, that night in the Nightless City (ā¦)ā (ā¦) āWei WuXian, I wonāt ask you if you remember or not. Both of my parents died by your hands. You owe too many people. You definitely wonāt remember them either. But, I, Fang MengChen, will never forget! And never forgive you!ā (ā¦) āIn the fight at Qiongqi Path, my son was strangled to death by your dog Wen Ning!ā āMy shixiong died by poison, his entire body festering due to your cruel curse!ā Chapter 68 (immediately preceding the flashbacks), EXR translation
And Wei Wuxianās own thoughts and words:
Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators before the Demon-Slaughtering Cave. Their expressions were the absolute same as those of the cultivators from the night of the pledge conference, pouring their wine on the ground as they took the pledge to scatter the ashes of the Wen Sectās remnants and him.Ā (ā¦) Wei WuXian, āNow itās time to ask just whom it is that treasures it so much. Itās like Wen Ning. Back then, some certain sects or so were scared to death of the Ghost General. They said theyād kill him on the surface, but behind their backs they hid him for over ten years. How strange. Who was the one that said his ashes had been scattered back then?ā Chapter 79 (immediately succeeding the flashbacks), EXR translationĀ
Once again, Wei Wuxianās own thoughts relate to the flashbacks weāve just been shown. And, as I previously mentioned, though all the events which are shown are tragic, theyāre also events which Wei Wuxianās own choices and actions shaped ā which he has this to say about:
āThe things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You wonāt forget them, and theyāll stay even longer in my mind!ā Chapter 82, EXR
Admittedly, this applies more to the third set of flashbacks than the second (which is still fitting as the third set was the most recent), as in the second, although he still had agency within and influence over his circumstances, the majority of the pain was caused by othersā actions (excluding, of course, the Golden Core transferā¦ which is something we know stays for a long time in his mind, albeit with a caveat weāll soon discuss). But itās still important to note ā especially considering that otherwise, focusing on this very painful time in his life wouldnāt seem like something very in-character for Wei Wuxian to do.
Of course, this can all just be explained by good writing. It is best to insert flashbacks when theyāre relevant to the characters and events in the present day! But it is interesting to compare these to the start of the (not painful) Gusu flashbacks, which open this way:
At a later time, Wei WuXian pondered upon the reason why his relationship with Lan WangJi wasnāt good. Getting to the root of the matter, everything started when he was fifteen, coming to the GusuLan Sect with Jiang Cheng to study for three months. Chapter 13, EXR
Again, considering the circumstances around which these flashbacks take place ā returning to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since the lectures, and meeting Lan Wangji once more ā it makes complete sense for Wei Wuxian to be thinking about these events*. So it does fit the pattern of Wei Wuxian dwelling on something, thus leading to the narrative dwelling on it, too (and being shaped by his thoughts)ā¦ but thereās another layer to this. Importantly, it is the only flashback where Wei Wuxianās present thoughts donāt lead to this happening, with his thoughts at an unspecified future time leading to it, instead. I like to interpret this as the text saying that, since these events arenāt something Wei Wuxian wouldnāt focus on in normal circumstances, he can dwell on them at any time. Therefore, theyāre free to come up in the narrative at any time as well, even if heās not dwelling on them in the present moment!
So, to summarise: Wei Wuxianās decision not to focus on the painful times in his life directly influences the narrative to not focus on these times. When painful times are brought up and shown to us, itās in the context of him thinking about them in the present day, and even then, his most painful moments still arenāt shown to us. His agency in this regard is still respected by the narrative structure.
This is the main way his agency influences the structure of the narrative, but Iād like to talk about the revealing and concealing of information, too. For example, I said Iād talk about the Golden Core transfer ā though Wei Wuxian does think about this many times, as evidenced by his internal narration in Chapter 103. But unlike everything weāre shown through the flashbacks, this is something Wei Wuxian is actively trying to hide from others. And the narrative respects this choice (Wei Wuxianās agency, again), never reveals it even when it would be relevant in the flashbacks, and we find out not through narration, but through a characterās dialogue!
And to clarify ā I know these aspects may not be in the book for this exact reason. Showing flashbacks in relevant moments is good writing, concealing an important plot point you want to do a reveal for is necessary writing, and MXTX has said she didnāt want to write about Wei Wuxianās time in the Burial Mounds, due to not liking to write transformation sequences (and also because it would not be pleasant at all, which likely also applies to Wei Wuxianās death). That doesnāt prevent it from also being intentional ā MXTXās intelligence is shown in many aspects of this book, and thereās nothing disproving it ā but thereās no proof for either option, so I wonāt pretend there is. I bring this up because I know this feels like Iām overanalysing, as I feel that way as well.
But, whether itās intentional or not, it exists in the text, and I adore it ā so, regardless, itās something Iāll explore. Because taking this into accountā¦ We aren't just told about Wei Wuxian having agency, we arenāt just shown it in the text, we arenāt even just shown it through which parts of his past are shown and hidden in the structure of the text (as I talked about in Part One). The parts of the past that are shown and hidden also have an in-universe reason for being shown and hidden, this reason being the choices he makes! Agency is the ability of a character to influence the story theyāre in, but Wei Wuxianās agency, as a property of a character who only exists in-universe, shapes the out-of-universe structure as well! Thatās how weāre shown its importance! How cool is that?
At The End Of The Road: Summary and Final Thoughts
In this essay, weāve covered how important Wei Wuxianās agency is not only to the events of the plot, but to the structure of the narrative as well. The narrative omits periods in which Wei Wuxian has little or no agency, in favour of showing us periods in which he does, even when important events happened in the former. This indicates that who Wei Wuxian is without agency isnāt important enough to be shown to the audience, and therefore that his agency is an integral aspect of his character in MDZS. Weāve discussed how both in-universe and out-of-universe, tragedy does not define him ā out-of-universe, the tragic events in Wei Wuxianās life are used not to build sympathy but rather to show his strength of character and who he still is despite going through them; and in-universe, he chooses not to focus on the negativity and resentment caused by his circumstances or othersā actions, instead staying true to his moral compass and enjoying his life in the present day. Finally, weāve also explored how this choice is another reason for the omission of certain events from the narrative, resulting in his agency shaping the story in a very literal way ā it affects the out-of-universe structure, as well.
Itās quite fitting, for a story whose essence is about defying a conventional narrative ā that of righteous clans rising up and defeating a great evil ā and about a character who defies many conventional narratives on his own ā that of status defining how skilled you could be, that for a golden core being necessary for cultivation and other paths being unavailable, that of a tragic but complete story of someone killed for staying true to their moral code (instead, that character returns to life and has a happy ending) ā to have its own narrative play a role in such an important and interesting way.
(Or, if an image would be preferable:)
Thank you for reading!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
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*This strong relation to the present day circumstances is another reason I love the flashback placement so much (and why I think itās such a loss both screen adaptions altered it so strongly)!Ā
#get ready for tag thoughts because there are a LOT of them#itās for THIS reason that fanon wwx bothers me so much (didnāt want to get negative on the acual post)#bc so often all the changes are changes that woobify him!#self-sacrificial idiot wwx?? only doing things becauseā¦ poor him he has so many internal issues and values himself so little-#-so of course heād sacrifice everything before thinking of another option? woobifying#(whenever he sacrifices something itās a deliberate choice to act on his morals because he values his morals so much ā and heās also very-#-capable and DOES often find ways for no people to get hurt!)#wasnāt aware that what happened to him at lotus pier was wrong and needs lwj to tell him that for him to have any idea if it?#woobifying (as we see in the lotus seed pod extra he KNOWS itās unfair)#(he downplays it retroactively in his memory (links into not focusing on the bad things in his life))#(but thatās the actions themselves that are being downplayed not their fairness!)#he chooses to act! he is defined by acting! not tragedy ā all the more impressive in the face of the amount of tragedy thatās happened#he could SO EASILY have been a woobie but instead heās the opposite of one: defined BY his agency instead of the absence of it#that doesnāt mean heās not impacted by tragedy or trauma ā he is! but itās not the most important aspect of his character (bc he doesnāt le#itās also something that bothers me about the changes cql made#by making qq path and nightless city the fault of someone else it means he IS someone whoās more a victim of circumstance than anything els#he had no control over the tragedies of his first life at all#apart from ig his death being controlled by him? because he just leaps off the cliff during the nightless city siege?? but in THAT case itā#i watched that part recently (iām getting through it very slowly) and yeah it reaffirmed my love for this aspect of the book even more#despite. having these exact thoughts for two years already#he also dwells on the past events a lot more than book wwx which adds to that version of him BEING defined more by tragedy rather than who#anyway over 7.3k words total (and 400 more in the tags apparently)... it'll be posted to ao3 in its completion this evening!#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#ééē„åø#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc
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I keep getting so caught up in the euphoria of so many people getting to know and love Kay Faraday for the first time that for a moment I forget that I live in a fandom that will inevitably reduce her to a prop for narumitsu.
#aa salt#ace attorney investigations#ace attorney#kay faraday#stop making her 'narumitsu's' kid she don't know phoenix from adam#also the gumshoe; badd and byrne erasure drives me insane#badd has known her since the day she was born; gumshoe was there for her even before miles was#she kicked bratworth in the shin ffs b/c he was being mean to her new friend gummy#byrne and kay's promise notebook are key parts to her characterization#i'll grant her a special familial bond w/ miles b/c it's important to both their characterizations and beautiful#but not phoenix; he already has maya and trucy to be his best girls#he doesn't need another one#and honestly shoving kay into that role kind of undermines maya and trucy as well since it treats them as the same/interchangeable#which this fandom already has more than enough problems with tbh#i just love kay a lot okay#i may project more onto kristoph and athena but i still think kay is my fave aa character overall
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I like, wish Western aoex fans would take some time and research about how religion is in Japan. Especially how christianity is viewed and practiced there. Because it's a very different thing both culturally and base level than how things go in the west. Shintoism and Buddhism is an incredibly big part of Japan's culture, but it's not in the same way as how Christianity and other western religions are for the USA or other countries.
I mean it's cool to see people want to do things, but I don't think they realize that it's going to be a very different interpretation. I personally don't even think Shiro raised the twins christian. There's nothing in canon other than they grew up in the monastery to imply it. It felt more to me they started the place to have a good cover for the twins than it actually being a legit thing.
Heck it even looked like Shiro took the boys to shrines for new years. That's kind of a important part of Japanese culture and a big tradition. I personally don't think a catholic priest raising two kids would be taking them to a Shinto Shrine to do the New Years tradition.
It's also funny whenever this comes up because no one mentions Yukio in this. It's always Rin lol
#ao no exorcist#blue exorcist#rin okumura#yukio okumura#shiro fujimoto#like everyone is welcome to their headcanons#but i also think it's important to remember that aoex is a Japanese manga written by a Japanese woman#she does a ton of research#but there's not a lot of religion outside of implying it's there to more or less fight against demons#buddhism and shintoism is treated about the same as christianty in canon#Which is to say it looks like gods are all demons and all religion is false and true in a sense#which i think is a interesting aspect of the world building#i think a lot of interesting things can come out of this but I wish people would remember where aoex is from#it feels like they're accidentally erasing the important cultural part of this being from Japan#anyways always research if you're gonna write for a series from a different culture#it's important and actually helps make sense of a lot of things that pop up in anime and manga
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A Pearl and Gem clip that didnāt fully make it into their episodes, taken from Pearlās stream (I loved this part and just had to save it somewhere)
transcript below!
Gem: Iāve put the rest of the packed ice in here for now, but we can grab it here if we need it.
Pearl: Okay, sounds good.
*moment of silence*
Pearl: Did I just say āsounds goodā to you putting items in a random chest?
Gem: Yep.
Pearl: What are you doing to me?
Gem: Youāre welcome!
Pearl: *anguished cries*
Gem: Iām loosening you up!
Pearl: Thatās not how itās supposed to workā¦
Gem: Welcome to the GeminiTay Effect, where weāre unorganised and a little bit insane!
Pearl: Who invited me to this nightmare?! Oh wait, you did.
Gem: You accepted!
Pearl: Ah, gleefully so.
Pearl: Iām currently just tweaking the path shape-o!
Gem: Uh-huh.
Pearl, reading the chat: āNot random, itās a project chestā, okay, that does make me feel better, Iāll take it.
Gem: If thatās all it takes, I can say that about everyā
Pearl: No, you canāt, because it never gets organised!
Gem: *laughing*
Pearl: Thereās a difference! Thereās a differenceā
Gem: I meanā¦ I dunnoā Thereās notā itās a fine line!
Pearl: No! No, no no. If you have things messy all season, thatās not the same. A project chest is something you make temporarily, and you organise it after youāre done with that piece. Not the entire mega-base! A piece of the mega-base.
Gem: Mhmā¦
Pearl: Yeah! You know Iāve got a point!
Gem: Noā¦ I dunnoā¦
Pearl: No, no, you know. I know you know. No denying it.
Gem: I love the way you say ānoā, I just wanted you to say that more.
Pearl: Oh, itās because it sounds Australian, is that what that isā Do you want me to say āalrightā?
Gem: Yeah, ācause it sounds Australian.
Pearl: I know you like the āalrightā one.
Gem, in an Australian accent: Alright.
Pearl: Alright, mate.
Pearl: What did you say? Oh jeezā¦
#mcyt#hermitcraft season 9#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#saved clips#i know some parts of this are in their episodes but this was one of my favourite parts (and itās important to me to add#Australian accent Gem)#also this was made partly with a very specific audience in mind who I think would enjoy the clip#shiny duo#listen i havent even finished watching the full vod yet i just knew i had to save this clip first#it scratched a very specific part of my brain#i might clip more shiny duo moments from the stream but thatāll depend on if i find any more which i have the energy for#hermitblr
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2023 reads
The Spider And Her Demons
YA Australian urban fantasy/horror
about a Malaysian-Chinese girl whoās half spider-demon, just trying to keep her head down and survive high school
when she accidentally kills and eats a man in front of the most popular girl at school, they strike up a strange friendship and she starts to learn more about herself and the supernatural world
aroacespec/sapphic ish
#The Spider And Her Demons#Sydney Khoo#loveozya#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#you give me a teenage girl with giant hair spider legs who scuttles across her bedroom wall on page 3#and then eats a man and i am already sold.#also aus books are always so familiar compared to US books :)#and yes sexuality stuff is ambiguous but basically: a bunch of discussion on relationship hierachies (ie friendship equally/more important)#themes of feeling unlovable bc you're different and different forms of love#multiple times the MC says she has no interest in dating or relationships and also is touch (and maybe sex) repulsed#- but of course that Also has to do with the whole Being A Monster thing#and it definitely shows some kind of attraction to dior - ie looking at her lips/bare skin; blushing; etc#and ends on sort of hand kiss / 'is this something??' vibes#I asked the author and they said they see them as QPR / platonic soulmates but are not at the point where they would know what to call it#which makes total sense to me!#the part of me who wants more obvious aroace YA wishes it was a little more specific#but also I DO love ambiguity and I think it wouldn't be true to the characters#who are clearly not even ready to start figuring that stuff out.#and also. aroacespec sapphics is like. also something i want#also like. I think it's reductive to assume just because 'looks at lips' is a common allo attraction trope....doesn't necessarily mean#it has to be that. yknow.#anyway. i loved it a lot.#gross spidergirl (affectionate)......#also dior is such an interesting and complex character. like another book could have made her nicer or less fucked up
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not to mention the entire antaam fleet like š that was the PERFECT moment to show off what the lords could do!!! The antaam fucked over rivain, theyve been a thorn in the whole nations side for a long time now, they would not pass up a chance for payback via full scale naval warfare so that the veilguard can do what they need to!! Sure dreadnoughts are dangerous but at this point they probably have tricks up their sleeve, thats one of the few things they have!
also wouldn't it be personal because does solas not try to blow up kont-aar because he's trying to 5d chess tevinter and the qunari into destroying each other. like. i know technically this would not be incredible widespread news because the attack was stopped, but i don't think the wonderful citizens of kont-aar would have missed the tsunami that nearly hit them and the shockwave that actually hit them. rumors go around. and i assume irian/vadis tell varric. who i think would tell isabela. who would tell the group she leads. who would care because ofc, they LIVE IN RIVAIN, and now know that solas and his followers thinks they can trade rivaini lives* to further his plans.
*while i also think there's probably a divide between kont-aar and the rest of the nation, it's one that the rivaini love to jump across and back over. an interesting comparison to be made here with most of rivain having similar sentiments towards dairsmuid and the chantry. like this is the country specifically mentioned to have a lot of citizens who follow the qun/are non-andrastian + it being MUCH more multicultural and accepting than other nations. any attack on rivain, even if it's a qunari settlement, would fan a lot of flames that solas cannot put out so the idea of trying to him taking multiple steps back because he didn't realise how intensely the qun/rivaini/lords would react is very fun for me. it would have been soo interesting for rivain to be a hub for efforts against solas because of how it's not influenced by andrastianism, how he (or his agents) specifically fucked them over, and (maddeningly for solas) also part of this resistance has spirits who willingly guide them against him. this could have even been a plot device where the door goes both ways and solas finds out rook's plans because he manages to eavesdrop through a seer or something.
and on the spirits. all the stuff where the mourn watch regularly communicates with spirits could have been done with rivain as well, and with different takes on being 'friendly' with spirits. iirc there's a spirit in the hall of valor which is so interesting but it's literally just there for flavour text. THERE'S A SPIRIT IN THE HALL OF VALOR THAT DOES NOTHING BESIDES LIKE. SAY HI. ??? bioware i would have liked to see more spirits and seers and the matriarchal pantheists you have talked about please. and also the idea of the peaceful qunari settlement being pushed to protect the country they are part of and what that means for them as qunari vs. rivaini. taash's storyline could have contributed to this . so A LOT less about choosing a side, more about how kont-aar has developed, changed, how rivain has influenced it and what it means to be qunari. not the qunari agents and fighters that we have seen, but their 'civillian' way of life in kont-aar.
complete waste not seeing any of established lore reflected in the lords of fortune or rivain because i stupidly actually thought we were going to see some kind of settlement and be introduced to a very different cultural norms.. in my beautiful mind i like to think taash is a little taken aback by how badly mages/elves/etc are treated. like they understood it was different outside of rivain (they would have been young when the dairsmuid circle annulment happened right? so they don't 'remember' it themself, they likely heard others talking about it when they're old enough to understand) but until they actually saw what was happening first hand, they had a weird dissonance about it. but what we got was a deserted beach, ties to another faction (wardens are fine!! they are great !!!! the fourth blight is interesting!!!! yet they are not the faction with a lack of info about them!!!!!) and also the hall of valor that exists as flavor text with nothing meaningful behind it besides a pub used in a few cutscenes and a minigame.
#it's just hard to discuss the qunari in general when it is so obviously written to be quote unquote bad#and theyre like. in veilguard. really just reduced to being an invading force. which they were before. but there's literally nothing else#not a single character that explains more about the qun or how it operates + the game presenting choices about taash#that obviously lean towards favoring rivain. god knows why. its not like we know enough about it to choose it#even a quick peek into a rivaini lifestyle would have been helpful. all we know are from lorebooks !!!!#its actually like. 'qun would have made taash into a weapon/they are actively invading treviso/theyre working w ghil+el/shathaan' etc#and then on rivain's side the points are just 'umm. well the lords are super nice. and love freedom... and its also NOT qunari!'#there ARE reasons to pick rivain just none of them are in the fuck ass game. no one who doesnt read the books would know this shit#does anyone know why the antaam are acting outside of their orders. i dont rmb if this was explained or if its supposed to be like#a very severe response to solas and defying orders to 'deal' with a threat?#but god. kont-aar as it exists is so interesting. maybe elements of like .#'the main qun ignore the changes in kont-aar/rivain because it's such an important part of their trade' situation. idk#i just cant see a lot of the extremely rigid qun followings actually meshing with this extremely 'accepting' culture that is in rivain#eg. rivaini seers allowing possessions vs. sareebas#but its said that the rivaini pantheists actually have lots in common with the teachings of the qun (?)#and again. its peaceful. most of the issues that are mentioned in games/etc are to do with the ORLESIAN chantry causing issues in rivain#so it just. makes me think. maybe things have changed and there's a blind eye to whatever happens in kont-aar#or if there are more hostilities or issues caused by their differing beliefs then it would be good to fucking like. hear about it#plus the qun in general is just. worldbuilding standpoint is like. what. im not a guy who knows too much about this part of da lore so#i had to fact check a few things while writing this response and some of the answers were like#just so unbelievable that im choosing to do whatever i want#anyways. sorry. got out of hand. let me know if anything i said isnt true#its entirely possible. my knowledge of rivain is patchwork but this is probably to do with the fact there's not a lot. yeah#god. i have to stop talking now. thank u anon for agreeing w me. sorry u asked me about the lords and i took it as an excuse#to air out my issues w rivain. because tyche was partially built up around that and then none of it even mattered#veilguard spoilers#answered#rivain
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Do you conlang? I was wondering if you had naming languages (or possibly even more developed ones) for pulling the words you use. I tried to search your blog but didn't find anything, wouldn't be surprised if the feature is just busted tho. Your worldbuilding is wonderful and I particularly enjoy the anthropological and linguistic elements.
Ok the thing is I had kind of decided I was not going to do any conlanging because I don't feel like I'm equipped to do a good job of it, like was fully like "I'm just going to do JUST enough that it doesn't fail an immediate sniff test and is more thoughtful than just keysmashing and putting in vowels". And then have kinda been conlanging anyway (though not to a very deep and serious extent. I maybe have like....an above average comprehension of how language construction works via willingness to research, but that's not saying much, also I can never remember the meanings of most linguistic terms like 'frictives' or etc off the top of my head. I'm just kinda raw dogging it with a vague conceptualization of what these things mean)
I do at least have a naming language for Wardi (and more basic rules for other established languages) but the rudimentary forms of it were devised with methods much shakier and less linguistically viable than even the most basic naming language schemes, and I only went back over it LONG after I had already made a bunch of words so there's some inconsistencies with consonant presence and usage. (This can at least be justified because it IS a language that would have a lot of loanwords and would be heavily influenced by other language groups- Burri being by far the most significant, Highland-Finnic and Yuroma-Lowlands also being large contributors)
The 'method' I used was:
-Skip basic construction elements and fully move into devising necessary name words, with at least a Vibe of what consonants are going to be common and how pronunciation works -Identify some roots out of the established words and their meanings. Establish an ongoing glossary of known roots/words. -Construct new words based in root words, or as obvious extensions/variants of established words. -Get really involved in how the literal meanings of some words might not translate properly to english, mostly use this to produce a glossary of in-universe slang. -Realize that I probably should have at least some very basic internal consistency at this point. -Google search tutorials on writing a naming language. -Reverse engineer a naming language out of established words, and ascribe all remaining inconsistencies to being loanwords or just the mysteries of life or whatever.
I do at least have some strongly established pronunciation rules and a sense of broad regional dialect/accents.
-'ai' words are almost always pronounced with a long 'aye' sound.
-There is no 'Z' or 'X' sound, a Wardi speaker pronouncing 'zebra' would go for 'tsee-brah', and would attempt 'xylophone' as 'ssye-lohp-hon'
-'V' sounds are nearly absent and occur only in loanwords, and tend to be pronounced with a 'W' sound. 'Virsum' is a Highland word (pronounced 'veer-soom') denoting ancestry, a Wardi speaker would go 'weer-sum'.
-'Ch' spellings almost always imply a soft 'chuh' sound when appearing after an E, I, or O (pelatoche= pel-ah-toh-chey), but a hard 'kh' sound after an A or U (odomache= oh-doh-mah-khe). When at the start of a word, it's usually a soft 'ch' unless followed by an 'i' sound (chin (dog) is pronounced with a hard K 'khiin', cholem (salt) is pronounced with a soft Ch 'cho-lehm')
-Western Wardin has strong Burri cultural and linguistic influence, and a distinct accent- one of the most pronounced differences is use of the Ʊ sound in 'nn' words. The western city of Ephennos is pronounced 'ey-fey-nyos' by most residents, the southeastern city of Erubinnos is pronounced 'eh-roo-been-nos' by most residents. Palo's surname 'Apolynnon' is pronounced 'A-puh-lee-nyon' in the Burri and western Wardi dialects (which is the 'proper' pronunciation, given that it's a Kos name), but will generally be spoken as 'Ah-poh-leen-non' in the south and east.
-R's are rolled in Highland-Finnic words. Rolling R's is common in far northern rural Wardi dialects but no others. Most urban Wardi speakers consider rolling R's sort of a hick thing, and often think it sounds stupid or at least uneducated. (Brakul's name should be pronounced with a brief rolled 'r', short 'ah' and long 'uul', but is generally being pronounced by his south-southeastern compatriots with a long unrolled 'Brah' sound).
Anyway not really a sturdy construction that will hold up to the scrutiny of someone well equipped for linguistics but not pure bullshit either.
#I actually did just make a post about this on my sideblog LOL I think in spite of my deciding not to conlang this is going to go full#full conlanging at some point#The main issue is that the narrative/dialogue is being written as an english 'translation' (IE the characters are speaking in their actual#tongues and it's being translated to english with accurate meaning but non-literal treatment)#Which you might say like 'Uh Yeah No Shit' but I think approaching it with that mindset at the forefront does have a different effect than#just fully writing in english. Like there's some mindfulness to what they actually might be saying and what literal meanings should be#retained to form a better understanding of the culture and what should be 'translated' non-literally but with accurate meaning#(And what should be not translated at all)#But yeah there's very little motivation for conlanging besides Pure Fun because VERY few Wardi words beyond animal/people/place names#will make it into the actual text. Like the only things I leave 'untranslated' are very key or untranslatable concepts that will be#better understood through implication than attempts to convey the meaning in english#Like the epithet 'ganmachen' is used to compliment positive traits associated with the ox zodiac sign or affectionately tease#negative ones. This idea can be established pretty naturally without exposition dumps because the zodiac signs are of cultural#importance and will come up frequently. The meaning can get across to the reader pretty well if properly set up.#So like leaving it as 'ganmachen' you can get 'oh this is an affectionate reference to an auspicious zodiac sign' but translating#it as the actual meaning of 'ox-faced' is inevitably going to come across as 'you look like a cow' regardless of any zodiac angle#^(pretty much retyped tags from other post)#Another aspect is there's a few characters that have Wardi as a second language and some of whom don't have a solid grasp on it#And I want to convey this in dialogue (which is being written in english) but I don't want it to just be like. Random '''broken''' english#like I want there to be an internal consistency to what parts of the language they have difficulties with (which then has implications for#how each language's grammar/conjugation/etc works). Like Brakul is fairly fluent in Wardi at the time of the story but still struggles#with some of the conjugation (which is inflectional in Wardi) especially future/preterite tense. So he'll sometimes just use the#verb unconjugated or inappropriately in present tense. Though this doesn't come across as starkly in text because it's#written in english. Like his future tense Wardi is depicted as like 'I am to talk with him later' instead of 'I'll talk with him later'#Which sounds unnatural but not like fully incorrect#But it would sound much more Off in Wardi. Spanish might be a better example like it would be like him approaching it with#'Voy a hablar con Ʃl mƔs tarde' or maybe 'Hablo con Ʃl mƔs tarde' instead of 'HablarƩ con Ʃl mƔs tarde'#(I THINK. I'm not a fluent spanish speaker sorry if the latter has anything wrong with it too)
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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