#which isnt the right way to go about it but what ever
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i think my favorite part is kind of just how it.... unfolds? it feels so natural. little bits and pieces accumulating into misunderstandings and understandings. people talking to eachother, just about whatever happens to come up. it very rarely to never feels like exposition, just a part of the world, and they are in it. the character interactions all feel in character and authentic, the way things have changed in this AU make so much sense, and all the little touches that add up together for the perfect blend of culture shock and misunderstanding. i LOVE crossover, outsider POV, isekai/transmigration, any kind of "this is not how its supposed to be, what is going on?" type stories but most fail to really properly draw out the premise. things are revealed too soon, or it feels too hamfisted how quickly or how long it takes, the flow isnt natural. the story either closes its eyes to drag it out, or skips over the shock entirely. this does neither. prowl has NO reference for jazz, and jazz has no reference for cybertronians. he is incredibly stressed, physically and mentally, and now that its come in the reality is terrifying and unsustainable, and he has to hope, he has to HOPE that this outwardly cold and calculating person he has just met will care enough, not just to keep him alive but keep him living. prowl will now have to deal with holding jazz life in his hands in a way so much different and yet so much more intimate than almost anyone else he has ever handled, and it will be work, constant, unending work.
i end up in a rereading rabbit hole because i think about the scene before that led to this scene, and the scene before, and the scene before, and each one is so satisfying alone but i go :DDD thinking about how we got there.
honestly, i know odds of survival cant continue forever, but damn if i dont wish it could
Man, that’s all just amazing to me. I’m so happy you like all the little hints and build up that goes into the big moments because that’s some of my favorite stuff to do.
Usually when I write, I’ll have the elements involved in the Big Moment already in mind and then work backwards to seed the clues throughout the lead up to have a greater payoff.
For one mini example, Prowl grumbling about his therapist which helped lay the groundwork for Rungs appearance in the story.
Additionally, it’s really, really fun looking at situations from different perspectives depending on the character and working out what they would and wouldn’t think of. For another example, Prowl is very quick to think that Jazz could be crashing, because he frequently experiences crashes.
Similarly, writing misunderstandings is a ton of fun when there’s legitimate reasons for two characters to have wildly different perspectives on something. There’s a saying that goes “you’re characters don’t know what genre they’re in.” And I want to write characters that are genuinely acting intelligently with the information they have available.
(Which is also why I had to give Jazz a concussion because otherwise he probably would’ve been waaay less complacent about a practical stranger leading him into unknown locations.”)
Jazz and Prowl dancing around their misunderstanding of each other was pretty difficult, as I personally hold that Prowl can solve any puzzle given enough time and that Jazz can make his own solution to any puzzle given enough time.
They’re both smart as hell, so as the writer I basically had to narratively trap them like rats in a maze to get the confrontation I wanted at the right moment.
Fun times and I’m glad it paid off!
#asks#odds of survival will end but assuming I maintain the time and motivation. I kinda want to write all the way through#to the ending of the Mecha universe#the plot points have already been made. I just gotta string them together#Bonus bit: Like half the reason Jazz went out on a limb to trust Prowl was because#Rung basically told him Prowl was down bad for him#and Jazz decided to test how bad#tf mecha universe
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ON THE NOTE. of albedo being like "im good enough to be your assistant you trusted me to help you build the most powerful device in the universe why wont you trust me to wield it" and azmuth being like "its beyond you" like
azmuth IS right. we see in the Helix Trouble episode that albedos go to method for defeating malware is to destabilize him so much he straight up disintegrates, effectively killing him. albedo COULD have tried to make the helix work as it should have with the little time he had, it definitely wouldnt have been successfull given the helix wasnt finished, but he couldve tried and that might have hurt or toherwise fucked up malware but it would atleast have been an attempt
his go to method of defeating him was instead to explode him or whatever it was he did. overload. destabilize. the point is there was a crater left after he was defeated and it kinda looked like he died or disintegrated or blew up or something. it felt planned out with the way he explained it afterwards as well.
azmuth definitely saw that and when albedo wanted the omnitrix immediately went "oh fuck no". straight up denied him in the nicest way possible. "its beyond you". you dont have the ability to improvise or empathize and you choose the most violent way to win, but hes azmuth so ofc he doesnt say that, he just says its beyond him. which it is, given its meant to be a device to connect species together and promote understanding. albedos tendency to go straight to violence (crushing the forever knights, attacking and trying to kidnap ben, sending the actor aliens after ben and co, being totally cool w vilgax wanting to kill ben, invading and attacking galvan prime to get to azmuths lab even tho its very clear hes able to sneak in, etc) and his galvan superiority complex (im smarter than you therefore im better than you. now praise me or i will monologue about how smart i am for atleast two minutes) on top of him making a copy and risking the universe (i reject the canon of only one omnitrix can exist. like. look at the multiverse bens. look at kenny. theyre all in the same universe and theyre fine. hello?) instead of being like "what do you mean im not good enough how do i become good enough what does he have that i dont" which i can almost guarantee he did nto ask because he would never ask whats wrong with himself, there is nothing wrong with him and YORUE the fool for thinking there is hes perfect the way he is
i lost my train of thought lmao anyways. it all very much ties into basically "i did everything you asked and i was more efficient in defeating my enemies than tennyson ever would be" albedo proudly explains "you did exactly what i asked but my standards for impressive and capable of changing my mind are based on emotional maturity and compassion and empathy, not technological expertise every galvan has and certainly not how quick to jump to violence someone is. also you killed that guy over there so like." azmuth explains, disappointed. "but i know quantum physics!" albedo cries out, enraged. azmuth sighs.
like. azmuth definitely saw what he did to malware and went "i can NOT let this guy have the omnitrix" azmuth believes hes absolutely unhinged and will be terrible at using the aliens to their full potential. hell think like a galvan and believe that thinking like a galvan while being in another species body means hes better than the rest of the species. hes the perfect specimen not because the dna was taken from some of the most peak performance species, but because hes galvan. and thats not how the omnitrix is meant to be used
hes also very quick to jump to violence instead of conflict resolution. max comes barging into the lab demanding to see azmuth and albedo immediately jumps in and defends azmuth, which isnt a bad thing neccessarily, hes definitely loyal as fuck. just look at how he didnt blame hugh at all despite hugh being the main reason why he got fucked over. he jumps in however and starts to scold and bark at max (and winces when max gets closer cus hes all bark and very little bite because hes very very small), and when malware shows up he does admittedly try a more explanatory way to tell malware off, but like. he couldve been polite and calm when he told max and malware off. instead its more of a "how dare you speak to us that way dont you know who we are" kind of bark bark woof woof go away kinda deal than a "hey dude you gotta chill out well get it fixed just calm down and lets talk" kinda way
zero empathy, very low emotional stability, quick to anger, woof woof bark bark but very loyal and very willing to please the people he wants to like him. idk man i just think its so interesting and i def think it makes perfect sense why azmuth didnt wanna give him the omnitrix and i think that decision was very well shown off in Helix Trouble just based on hints and clues into how albedo acts and why he shouldnt be trusted with that kind of power
hes the kind of little guy who barks and woofs but is too pussy to chew on your ankles, unless his ankles are bigger than yours
#ben 10 albedo#ben 10 omniverse#ben 10#albedo ben 10#albedo#that said. if he met cash and jt he would 100% either team up with them to bully ben OR if they were rude to him. hed beat the shit#out of them. not even in a funny haha he knows martial arts and would humble them kinda way. hed go full humongusaur and shoot at them#thats the kind of guy he is hes fucking unhinged someone should put a leash on him#talkies
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as much shit as everyone gives musescore arrangements and scores. sometimes you can find some real gold. you will come across a mysterious garbled mess every so often, yes, but you will also come across some of the best sounds youve heard ever
#personally i treat musescore like a fucked up little daw rather than a notation software.#which isnt the right way to go about it but what ever#making this post because of the kickass balatro theme jazz band arrangement i ran into which i absolutely will be looking to for inspo#when i need to do my jazz composition#not for like heaps or anything just arrangement ideas bc i dont usually do band stuff and i like how they did the parts
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on today's episode of 'acaica's background thoughts for the dess raises kris au': okay but lets be serious do dess and chara actually stay together in the end--
#drkau#chatter#i debate over this point SO OFTEN LOL#they are BACKGROUND characters. like medium at best.#dess (or asriel or both you can argue any way) is the catalyst for everything but at the end of the day this is a kids story#and noelle IS still going to be the main character#but. man. does desschara work it out#their dynamic will be by far one of the hardest ones to write it think#it is very messy and very complicated and neither of them make great choices#and ive been writing a test piece of them for a WHILE#which. was good to get a decent nail of their characters as they stand in this au#but introduced SO MUCH MORE MESS. bc chara is aroace and 100% has some trauma and fucked-up feelings around sex#but xe DOES have sex with dess. and its like. does xe fully consent to it? yes!#does dess check in to be sure hey you're down bc she knows chara is ace while she isnt? also yes!!!#by the books they do everything right its just. chara is very very very good at rationalizing things.#and xe is. not actually as okay with this as xe is trying to be. and in fact this is very unhealthy for xir#(and then theres this whole OTHER layer of dark worlds and prophecies and everything that leads to frisk being born)#and its like. man. Man. this is so much to juggle#just everything between desschara is jngdfg they are trying their bests but it really is not going that well#bc they meet at like. 19-20 i think and chara's had nobody at all and sorta keeps chasing being someone's most important person#and dess has never had someone who has understood her on a level like chara#who really truly gets what shes about as a person and how she operates in the world#and its just a perfect storm really. and they both have kids and dess did technically kidnap hers just a little bit#and she never tells that to chara. and she tries but she cannot stay in place with xir#and chara couldnt hate her bc. again. has never experienced unconditional love#or love at all really </3 so instead of ever having hard conversations xe will brush it all under the rug#and sorta just enable dess's worse impulses. even sometimes at the expense of their literal children#ITS MESSY YALL. AND LIKE.#at the end of the day we'll see lol maybe they work it out maybe they dont. i have no idea. ive gotta write the thing#and if dr chapters 3&4 come out that could complicate things even FURTHER--
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its kind of funny to me that in the comics supergirl kind of occupies the spot for like the edgy superman. which is kind of weird for her typical role as kid sidekick to superman because her thing as a character (at least the versions of her character that i like) is that she doesn't have a reason to help anybody and doesn't like earth. edgy superman. but she's also the kid sidekick. strange juxtaposition
#it obviously depends on which comic you're reading#cause like there are completely different versions of supergirl depending on which version we're talking about#there's like 3 different supergirls with 5 different backstories#there's the one where she's a kind of slime goop that mimics the form of a girl--that was matrix#that was the version from the 80s that continued into the 90s--the weird run that had like angels and demons and stuff#god that one was weird#then there was the main one which is kara zor el but she has like 3 different backstories on her own#there's the argo city one which is truly horrible where like she watches thousands of people die in front of her#that one was most recently used in the supergirl woman of tomorrow comic written by the vile tom king at least as far as i'm aware#then there was the pod version (the more popular one) which has two variations on its own#variation one was that she's actually older than superman but got stuck in suspended animation for like 25 years#and variation two where she's just younger than him and i don't know how that works#of course the argo backstory is also the pod backstory they're not incompatible#it does beg the question of which you think is more tragic:#waking up one day to find out everyone you ever knew is dead and gone or watching them all die slowly in front of you#anyway the third super girl is power girl who is super girl except older so she's power girl because they didn't do a 2 spider man thing#this is easy to follow right#oh right and apparently they made a completely new backstory for her in my adventures with superman though i never watched that#because i still have to finish the supergirl cw show which is ANOTHER version of her character where she's 24 instead of a teenager#which sounds like a small thing but it literally turns her into a completely different character#i mean like powergirl is a completely different character isnt she#what was i talking about? right i kind of liked new 52 supergirl at least the first few issues#i really liked the disorientation of “where am i who are these people where's my family” she goes through#shame it kind of sucked#i'm probably not going to finish the CW show by the way. i'll probably give up halfway through season 3 if we're being optimistic
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playing the social game at office job already exhausting, witnesses report
#do you ever realize you missed a social cue and want to scream#im like 95% sure my boss has been like. conspiring to keep me at part time hours#when literally he could have just talked to me#i am so cooperative bro#like have you seen when herding dogs get stressed because they dont know what theyre supposed to be doing? yeah#im just a bit dense sometimes#i forgot he said during the interview that he WANTED me to start at part time hours#and i forgot there was like a legal difference between part time and full time employees#like i said. bit dense sometimes. im very smart but i miss things#anyway he was like 'why dont you just work 10-5 this week'#and there was this vibe of like. he didnt want me to work full hours & i couldnt figure out WHY#he was like 'oh we dont want to burn you out' & i was like. ok#i thought maybe they didnt have enough for me to do b/c im still training & i commented on that#& everyone was like 'oh we have so much work for you lol'#theyre behind on Webbed Site#and he reeeeeaaally emphasized how important it was that employees take their full lunch break#and i thought. huh. good that he cares i guess#and when i asked for a specific day off & to go home early another day they just immediately agreed#like fast enough that it seemed Odd to me#idk bro maybe im just reading into things too much but it explains like 4 things i was confused about#occam's razor right?#10 to 5 minus an unpaid 1-hour lunch works out to exactly 30 hrs per week#part time is < 30 hrs per week and full time is >= 30#so that would still put me at full time if it was 10-5 every day but my boss might not know which way the >= goes#and it isnt every day because i asked for a day off#i miss how straightforward retail was lmao#like it sucked in many ways but at least they were very clear about their expectations#personal#i think im going to ask for fewer hours next week. im tired
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i love watching youtube analyses of movies and shows and i love when the person explaining something is totally wrong about the thing theyre talking about
#myposts#right now this is about someone talking about midnight mass with the pre-existing assumption that its basically only a show about critiquin#christianity and not about a really interesting and sincere discussion of faith and personal accountability within faith#which is WAY more interesting than that person claiming that the scene of the people walking to easter mass with candles is supposed to be#reminiscent of the charlottesville unite the right rally which makes literally no sense as a comparison whatsoever#and like. saying stuff like that monsignor pruitt is completely self-serving and only bad-intentioned and manipulative#and missing so many sides to his character and his actual internal struggle alltogether because the person just assumes he has to be a liar#like pruitt is SUCH a good character BECAUSE he deep down means well#like he GENUINELY thinks that he is doing the will of god and he struggles to contextualize what he percieves as gods will#with what he is suddenly forced to do (eating humans) and like. he doesnt realize that he should be questioning if hes really ACTING for go#and thats the main THING you know. people who are held in a frame of belief might try to rationalize EVERYTHING through that frame#even if it starts to oppose their actual beliefs. like. its a prettttyyy significant thing for pruitt that he starts questioning why#god suddenly 'allows' him to kill people and instead of reflecting on it he holds a SERMON saying that GOD CHANGED HIS MIND ABOUT MURDER#like I LOVE pruitt because he's that realistic and like all this person can see is a very shallow critique of christianity#which this show isnt honestly ALL that interested in (at least not from the side this person is talking about it lmao)#and jessie gender (who doesnt know about it but whom i have beef with) commented 'excellent analysis' under the video#dare i say. it was not. it was really mid anaysis and like half the plot just FLEW over this person's head apparently#like. theyre not wrong but they are kinda analyzing a side-plot (the social ostracization of people non-christian from the community over#the run of the show) like it's the main plot and only plot going on lmao#but this post is also about every man who ever opened his mouth to speak about shiv roy
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aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .
#did not realize how many of my journal posts r just vents and it all looks so silly now RJRBJFBFNG aw hun. its so funny that i was#complaining abt my mom treating me like a therapist in 2017. <- his ass did notttt know. its like watching a guy standing on the train#tracks and complaining about a car driving past.#sry . i ended up on quotev just 2 look. ive never actually looked at my like activity feed very much whenever i go back but its funny bc it#rly is a more accurate glimpse into whateve was going on for miss kami (my quotev nickname).... like yasss. you hate your dads girlfriend#and her kids that is a nice problem to have#its also embarassing bc like my ex gf is just all around in here . i made a vent post like I get it im not enough and i dont matter and im#just a tool for you to use 😡😡😡 and she commented “yesss tell the world”. SO FUNNY?#and i found her being excited abt our 5 month anniversary#delightfully 12 year old activity. i do not like her very much at all and idt i ever actualy loved her#not in a bitchy way in a like. i literally questioned if i was aroace the entire time we were dating#she asked me out with a little note passed in class like circle y/n and i literally thought to myself Hm well i guess i dont have anything#going on. and circled yes. which is so funny. hun?#anyways. that all imploded bc we were 11 its whatever.#sigh. its just nice to remember the little problems i had. like obviously all this is after my dad choked me out in public and threw my dog#and etc but its still technically the beforetimes. yk. and ik the zoo isnt rly the most pressing of my things that have happened to me#anymore but its still like. Big. yk. even if i mostly just have to Be fine about it now or else everyone will think im being an awful piec#of shit asshole for still being upset. Ok sorry#also when i call my 12 yesr old self snnoying i mean it in an loving way like. its only right to be kind of annoying when youre 12 yk...#and also 12 year old kamille is Not here rn so i can be a little playfully mean to her. bc shes such a 12 year old#idk i just struggle a lot bc i am so like. far removed from everything that happened atp were on like 4th or 5th generation post that#and i struggle to put myself in That kamilles shoes and remember she was a kid yk. like obviously ik i was a kid ik i didnt deserve that#but when i try to like. put myself back in the situation and try to force myself to remember that exact day (dont do this btw . it does not#go well LOL) but i always like. i try to rebuild the events from the ground up but im not Kamille age 12 im me. witnessing everything#i wont ever be able to remember it How it acrually was i couldnt even fully remember it like a week after the fact yk. itis what itis#sorry i should prolly tag this i rambleddddd#a2t#child abuse#implied but we#animal abuse
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thinking about shauna listening to jackie talk about jeff like he never even mattered when shauna is pregnant with his baby because she just wanted something jackie had and wanted to be wanted by someone who wanted jackie and now jackie doesnt even care anymore and shauna is stuck with this forever. and then jackie dies and then the baby dies but not before shauna has to give birth to him in the wilderness in winter surrounded by people who eat the dead and now fucking jeff sadecki is the last thing she has of either of them and what the hell is she supposed to do with that? she's stuck with him forever.
thinking about shauna beating lottie almost all the way to death to get all of that rage out of her and then when that rage is out of her they give her a knife and tell her to slit natalie's throat, and then when natalie runs and shauna is let off the hook for one thing for once they give her the knife again and tell her to cut up javi, the closest thing to a baby, so they can eat him, and now she's stuck with this, too. and all that rage she burned off didn't go anywhere, really. it's still right there.
and then im thinking about shauna watching lottie and everybody else crown natalie the queen for virtue of not dying, which is the same thing everybody has been doing, except for jackie and the baby and javi who all took chunks of shauna with them and left her with nothing but a knife.
im thinking about shauna who watches everybody gossip and laugh through the springtime knowing that when winter comes she will be the person who will have to cut them all up one by one so the rest of them can live and its very easy to see why she isnt friends with any of them anymore by then. she looks at them and she sees cuts of meat and how is she supposed to look at anybody normally ever again after that?
and its cruel, of course it is, everything she does to coach ben. it's not his fault, it's not about him at all, really, except that he is exactly the problem. he's innocent. he judges them. he sees what they have had to do to survive and pretends he never profited from any of it. pretends to be above it, uninvolved. he judges them. he judges her.
and shauna needs complicity from these people. she needs somebody else to know what it feels like to hold the knife. she needs people to be stuck with those guilty votes forever. tai with the gun and melissa with the knife and natalie at the butcher's table so that she's not the only one. and so ben is the sacrifice.
i saw somebody say that shauna doesnt want natalie to have to feel the pain of butchering a person, thats why she puts the cloth over his face. but that's not true. she *needs* natalie to know the pain of it, the guilt of it, the weight. The cloth is a lie she told herself would make it easier but she knows that Natalie is about to know what the inside of this man's joints look like either way and that she's going to be stuck knowing that forever.
they are going to be rescued someday and everybody will say "we did what we had to do to survive" and shauna needs to not be the only one who really has to mean that when she says it. and i guess she has that now. or she's about to.
#shauna shipman#yj#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#there is obviously irony in it too#in the way jackie was always like “i dont belong here this is too hard” when obviously none of them belonged there#and shauna is doing that too to a certain extent#natalie just mercy killed that man! she's already carrying that!#she let javi die#she's killed almost everything theyve ever eaten#she buried jackie#natalie is already carrying all that shit#she's the other side of the coin#shauna just cant see it through her own trauma
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You Are Still Human
𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐

𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐
Pairing: Wendigo!Josh Washington x Fem!Reader Description: Josh breaks down over the fact that he cannot live a normal life since his possession and no longer believes that he is truly human. So you find a special way to remind him of his humanity... Warnings: 18+, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Mental Breakdown, Insecurities, P In V, Creampie, Slight Choking, Rough Smut, Animalistic Smut, Mention Of Breeding, No Foreplay Or Prep, Pain Kink-ish??? (Let me know if I missed any!) Word Count: 3.2k A/N: So I finally got this done! I didn't expect it to end up this long but as you can see, things got out of hand FAST. 😂 I hope you guys enjoy it! 🖤 Josh Washington Masterlist: 🖤 Taglist: @nuggetsandmoose, @maquillagebookmark, @wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee28374728, @bee-who-isnt-french
𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐
My tired feet slowly shuffle across the hardwood floor as I push myself through the front door of our shared home. I am exhausted after several errands that I had to run today, to say the least. But that's the price I have to pay for pushing them off until right at last minute. Though it wasn't exactly the extra work I had to do that pushed my mind and body to feel so worn out. My loving boyfriend decided to join me, which was a rare occurrence for him.
Ever since the... Incident... He hasn't wanted to go out into the world much. I understand his anxiety of being seen in public with his condition so I never push, but today he insisted on joining me on my mission to finish my to-do list. Perhaps he felt bad that all these burdens were placed on my shoulders with his lack of want to leave the house.
But unfortunately, a face mask to cover up his ripped cheek and sharpened canines was just not enough to cover what he has become. Recovery for Josh was long and hard and we had only just began talking about the possibility of cosmetic surgery. It was a long process before we could even begin worrying about such things.
After leaving the mountain, the spirit of the wendigo left him, not being able to leave where it is bound. But still, traces of an animal-like presence lingered in his behaviors and personality. We didn't know if restoring his humanity was possible, but the doctors were able to recover just enough to get him to a point of leaving the hospital to live a normal life. Though even then, I had to beg to convince them to let me take him home with me.
His parents were hesitant on letting me take care of him, but after some negotiating, they bought a secluded cabin in a swallow forest, just deep enough to give us privacy but not too deep that I would be trapped if I needed to get away. Josh's humanity was indeed resorted, but the primal animal was still within.
And that's where we are now. Josh has an odd habit of forgetting how to act "human" sometimes. Every once in awhile he will stare at someone random and growl lowly, or even nip at the air as though his need to feed was getting too intense. It was worrisome, to say the least. Sometimes I would stay up at night, fearing the one thing that I always worried was inevitable—that Josh would lose control once more.
Though time and time again, he would prove me wrong with a loving and warm cuddle at the end of the day. But sadly, tonight will not be so sweet. I can tell by the way Josh trudges into the living room, his head hung low and shoulders slumped. He wants to be left alone.
Though I understand this, I don't want to leave him with his thoughts again. Bad things happen when Josh is left alone with his thoughts. So I approach the doorway of the living room, leaning against the frame as I watch his tired form from afar. He seems defeated by the way he sat slouched against the soft cushions of our couch.
Slowly, I make my way to him step by step and sit on the couch, my eyes watching him to read his body language. He does not react to my presence, instead staring out into a void of nothingness like his mind is elsewhere. I reach over to the small end table by my side and pull its drawer open, only to retrieve a small, red bag.
I set it on my lap and then turn back to Josh, carefully taking on of his large hands in my own. They have grown a tiny bit since his possession, by an inch for each finger at least. Every part of his body has grown a bit since then. Sometimes it could feel a little intimidating. I run my thumb over the fragile, pale skin on the back of his hand before releasing a tired sigh.
"Your nails are getting long again, sweetheart. Shall I trim them for you?" I ask while reaching for the bag in my lap with my free hand, pulling the zipper to the side to reveal a bunch of nail care tools.
He does not respond verbally, but let's out a huff to let me know that he is fine with it. So with that, I begin my work, trimming and filing away at the sharp and jagged claws. It takes what feels like an hour to get them finished and looking nearly human again. In this time, Josh doesn't move a bit. He is so still, it's hard to tell he is even breathing. But once I finish and go to move my hands away from his, his boney fingers clasp my own.
"Thank... You..." He whispers faintly, his voice coarse and almost ghostly. Life glimmers in his eyes for a brief moment as his light irises study his hands.
But then, after a minute of admiring my work, he stands from his spot on the couch. He begins to pace around the coffee table in the center of the room, as if his mind is wandering, pondering something intense. I watch him for a few moments as he silently walks, feet shuffling along the carpet. But then, he mutters something...
"It's not enough..."
I almost do not catch it, until he repeats the words in a volume just slightly higher than before. But before I know it, Josh is pacing more frantically, whispering the sentence over and over. An eerie dread falls over my body as I watch him, his movements growing more panicked. He seems frightened and enraged, and those feelings seem to grow until he finally snaps, flipping over the coffee table in one swoop of his arms.
"I'm sick of this fucking shit!" He screams in a voice that sounds more like a howl from a wounded animal than anything else. "I'm so sick of being a fucking monster! I'm so fucking sick of people looking at me like one—like I shouldn't be with you or like I'm going to hurt you! I just want to be human again!"
I am stunned, sitting still as ever as if I'm afraid to move. That is until he breaks down, falling to his knees as he let's out a mournful sob. It's as if his spirit has been beaten down to the point of no return by this curse, every day stares, and the pressure of trying to be what he once was. Within a second, I am by his side on the floor, pulling him close to me and embracing him tightly.
"You're not a monster." I whisper sweetly as I caress his thinned out hair, just one more thing he has had to be insecure about since becoming human again. But it never lost its silky texture, which was what I had always loved the most about it.
He shakes his head and whimpers faintly, "I'm just a monster..."
I think for a moment. Usually it's pretty hard to break someone out of this mindset, especially Josh. He has a stubborn way of thinking, which makes it hard to convince him otherwise on a lot of subjects. I continue to pet his hair and think of back when he was human, how much he loved to show me just how much he loved me every day. Of course, a lot of times it would be through physical acts— And finally, it hits me. I know what will break him out of these self-abusive thoughts.
"I want you to prove to me that you're not a monster." I order firmly, which is enough for him to finally raise his head from where it is tucked in my shoulder and look up at me.
"W-What?" He queries just barely above a whisper—just barely enough for me to hear his quivering voice.
I gently caress his cheek, brushing my fingers over his deep scars as I clarify. "Prove to me that you aren't a monster. I know you can. Prove to me that you can feel all the emotions that a normal person can feel, and make me feel them as well in return."
He stares at me for a moment, eyes clearly uncertain about my rather intimate proposition. I can practically see the internal battle going on inside his mind through those glazed over pupils in the center of his white irises. Then, he let's out a shaky breath before biting his lip subtly—a risky habit he still carries from being human, but has to be more cautious doing now with his sharpened teeth.
"I... I don't want to hurt you..." He whimpers like a hurt puppy, glancing back down at his fidgeting fingers.
"You won't," I say as I place my hands on his cheeks, forcing his gaze back to me so he can see my sincerity. "I know you..."
He adverts his eyes once more, only this time looking down at the growing bulge under the rough fabric of his jeans—something I had failed to notice before. Josh had grown so backwards since his turning—so backwards that we haven't had sex since prior to it. I know it is killing him, especially since he was always the horniest guy I knew before this happened.
To make things easier for him, I place my hand on his thigh, resting right beside his needy member. He swallows thickly as he visibly shivers, a thin layer of sweat already coating his skin as his temperature rises. It is a subtle action to test the waters and when I'm sure he is comfortable, my hand goes right to the spot I know he desires so much.
But as soon as my hand cups the twitching length through his pants, something changes. A soft growl is heard rumbling at the back of his throat, and when my eyes flick back up, I am met with a hungry and what looks to be primal gaze. His eyes are no longer soft and sorrowful, but hold something almost animalistic within them.
Before I can say anything, Josh scoops me up and throws me down on the couch, knocking a startled gasp to fly out from me that seems to fall on deaf ears. He is quick to cage me between his arms, and lower his body weight down over top of me to encase me in his grasp, like a predator sealing his prey's fate.
No words are spoken, just the sounds of his ragged breaths and rabid growls fill the air. His body temperature has risen even higher than I have ever felt from him, and as he presses his chest against mine to keep me locked in place, I can feel his racing heartbeat vibrating through his chest as well. It amazes me that he hasn't had a heart attack yet.
But still, it seems as if something is stopping him in place. A lost, uncertain, question glimmers in his orbs as though he is waiting for an answer. Though he is silent, I know what he is asking—the final thing he needs to take things to the next level.
"Go ahead, Josh. I'm ready." I breath faintly, giving him the permission he seeks.
As if from a movie, he tears our clothes off at a supernatural speed. I lay there, naked and dumbfounded as I look at the shreds of clothing that fell all around us, surrounding us like some sort of makeshift nest. I can't help but wonder how in the hell he managed to do that after I just clipped and filed his claws down, but I don't have much time to answer.
A shriek of shock, pain, and pleasure tears from my throat as I feel the familiar sting of something long and hard entering my canal, though this time in a more rough and fast way. Josh was always one for foreplay, but I guess there isn't time for that now, as he is already buried deep within me to the brim within just a split second.
His eyes hold a bit of remorse for only a mere moment, until that hunger returns. I barely have time to breathe as he retracts and enters at a pace I have never seen from him before. His hips pound furiously into mine, a subtle ache setting into my joints almost in an instant as he does his work. His grip on my waist is enough to burst my organs, while his dull nails cut into my flesh, crimson liquid forming under them more and more with each flex of his fingers. If I hadn't have cut his nails before this, I'd be done for. But I feel like Josh would know to be more careful if there was an actual hazard.
The intensity of his tip hitting my g-spot over and over at a brutal force feels to be enough to actually bruise it. Josh was always so good at finding it but this is a whole new level. I push my head back against the cushions as a cry of painful ecstasy parts my lips. Gripping the edges of the cushions and ripped strands of clothing in my fists, I begin to squirm out of pure instinct. Of course, Josh doesn't like this very much. Before I know it, a tight hand is wrapped firmly around my neck, but not enough to actually hurt me. This shows me that deep down, Josh still has some control.
He pounds into me in a sloppy and rough rhythm, determined like an animal desperate to breed. Grunts, groans, and growls that sound less than human are all that are heard from him. I would be concerned if my mind was clear enough to pay attention. No, right now, all my senses were overwhelmed by Josh, cutting off my awareness of the world around us like a sweet death. I am out of my own body now, my soul flying high in the clouds of heaven.
To my surprise, he pulls out. A soft exhale escapes me has he let's go of my throat, but that's only to quickly flip me over so he can now get in from the back. As soon as he shoves his length back inside, he's moving at a pace yet again unimaginable while his claws grip my hips firmly. He is almost pulling me back onto his cock at times, so my hips can meet his own has he thrusts into me. It's so animalistic and natural and it feels so right. And by the feeling of it, it's just enough to satisfy Josh completely.
With a roaring howl, Josh finally finds the release he has been chasing for so long. His speed and strength increases as he comes undone within me, and he fills me to the brim as if he wants to claim me... Or maybe even breed me. It is all too much for me to bear. The sensation of his heavy load spraying into my sweet spot is enough to send me flying over the edge. I bury my face into the cushion as a shuddering moan falls from my lips, before my voice strains away to nothing. My whole body trembles as I practically melt beneath him, and my walls squeeze and quiver around his cock as though I'm practically begging for more.
Though soon that psychical need gives away into exhaustion as soon as my tense muscles relax once my high subsides, my body falling limp like I no longer can control it. I'm just a doll now, all at the mercy of the man who gives me life. He may think that because I help him to heal, I am his savior. But he couldn't be more wrong. Without Joshua, I would be in a darker place, drowning in my trauma of that night. But now, I have him. And in this moment of silence where nothingness hangs in the air, that thought enters my brain. A small smile curls the corners of my lips while I close my eyes, feeling peace as I soak up his warmth while his hot breath fans my shoulder.
He removes himself from me, both of us letting out a trembling whimper, the overestimation stinging our most sensitive areas momentarily. He does not waste a single breath on words, instead leaning down to capture my lips with his. He is careful—careful to not cut me with his long canines, but also holding a tenderness he used to show before all of this. He knows that I am at my most vulnerable at this time, and will take the most caution to not break me at my fine glass-like state. When he pulls away, he gazes upon me with tear-filled and passionate eyes, his orbs reflecting what seems to be gratefulness and love.
"That wasn't the wendigo in me..." He breathes faintly while raising a hand to caress my cheek in a way so tender that I feel as if I could cry. Though I raise a questioning brow at that statement, not knowing what he means. So he elaborates after taking another second to breathe, still worn out by our recent activities. "I just needed you that badly... So I guess that was the human in me, huh?"
I smile at that and nod, admiring how he blushes at what he admits. For someone who used to be so ballsy and open with his dirty thoughts, Josh could be pretty backwards at times. It was something I always adored so much about him. I run my fingers through his raven, disheveled hair while taking in his stunning features, a soft sigh leaving me before I whisper. "You can have me whenever you like, Josh."
Josh smiles and presses his lips to mine once more, and then lays his head on my chest. I watch him intently, taking note of how he smiles when he hears my heartbeat quicken ever so slightly at the sight of him on top of me. He gently rubs my sides, soon stopping to snuggle into my breasts, seemingly deciding that this nest of our torn clothing would be our bed for the night.
Josh always reminded me of a Great Dane in a way. Despite being a lot bigger than me, there was always enough space on top of me for cuddles in his eyes. It was always quite amusing to me each time his large form would envelope my own. I continue to pet his hair, soft strands threading through my fingers with each touch. He let's out a huff in contentment and kisses my left breast, the sensation of his lips on my skin being absorbed through my flesh and meeting my heart to caress it with the love he feels for me.
"Thank you..." He murmurs, his voice dropping an octave lower and coming out more like a purr due to his exhaustion. My eyes focus on him as he closes his eyes, taking one more deep breath and then continuing his sentence a mere second before he falls into a peaceful slumber on top of me. "For everything..."
𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐⭒𖤐
#until dawn#until dawn josh#josh washington#josh washington x reader#josh washington smut#wendigo!josh washington#synnamonsspicyfics
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Hiii. Can I request a oneshot based on this HAHAHAH pleasee please like short oneshot will do!!! 🥰🥰 https://www.tumblr.com/svtsofthours/768423753034104832/seungcheol-jihoon-isnt-answering-his-phone?source=share
📞 do not disturb (jihoon x reader)
or: jihoon always answers. no questions asked.
★ footnotes: i debated the ethics (ethics?!) of taking this on, but i'm ultimately weak to anything and everything uji-related. prompt is fully by @svtsofthours ♡ word count: >980
Jihoon has a bad habit of leaving his phone on 'Do Not Disturb' mode.
In his line of work, getting in the flow was the most important thing. Inspiration could be dashed as easily as it came, and Jihoon's not about to risk his momentum being killed by a TikTok from Vernon or a 'wyd?' from Wonwoo.
His members call him vicious for it, but Jihoon is also the first to remind them that everything he does is for them. That's always the quickest way to shutting them up.
There are still ways to reach him, of course, when he's in the zone. Some members will drop by the studio unannounced. Some know to go through Jihoon's manager instead.
And some have begun to realize that they could simply just ask you.
It's another one of those long evenings, the type that has Jihoon feeling like his retinas are burning from all the time he's spent at his DAW. He doesn't remember the last time he looked away from the song he's working on, but it's a small price to pay for what he thinks is shaping up to be a potential title track. He just needs to tweak—
The thought is disrupted by the shrill ring of his cellphone.
Without so much of a second thought, Jihoon is reaching for the device and answering the call without even checking the ID. He has at least enough wits to know that he's been on 'Do Not Disturb' since he stepped into the studio, which means the caller could only be one person.
"Hi, honey," he says.
His voice is a tired rasp but the fondness bleeds through all the same. The sudden reprieve has him sinking a little further into his computer chair, like he's just registered how utterly spent he is.
That exhaustion pales in comparison to the warmth that floods his chest when you greet him back with your ever-so sweet, "Hey, darling. Still in the studio?"
You already know the answer, and yet you still ask. Jihoon feels a little endeared by it as he absentmindedly runs his free hand over his face. "You know it," he says. "What's up?"
"Seungcheol and Soonyoung have been trying to get in touch with you," you inform him.
Jihoon raises an eyebrow. He pulls his phone away from his ear to check his lockscreen and, sure enough, you're right. Six (6) missed calls from Coups-hyung. Six (6) missed calls from Hamzzi.
"I've been working," Jihoon says into the receiver as he brings his phone back up. "Are they with you right now?"
"Just Seungcheol. Here—"
Jihoon has half a mind to tell you, no, please, do not pass the phone over to Seungcheol, but the leader's whining voice is already piercing through the call. "You answered their call in less than ten seconds!" Seungcheol proclaims, the pout in his voice audible. "What the hell, Jihoon-ah?!"
"It wasn't less than ten seconds," Jihoon protests weakly, feeling the tips of his ears burn red at the insinuation of just how fast he could fold when it came to you.
Seungcheol doesn't give a damn about semantics. His point still stands. "You didn't answer a single one of my calls," the older boy complains. "I can't believe this!"
So help me, God. Jihoon knows he's already going to have to get the man one pastry or another to compensate for this misgiving. "Right, sorry, sorry," Jihoon huffs out. "Why were you calling, anyway?"
Seungcheol bitches and moans for a couple more minutes before eventually breaking the news about some brand endorsement that they need to sign on for. Jihoon promises to check his e-mail and have the contract in before the morning, which doesn't really appease Seungcheol.
Even as the leader passes the phone back to you, he's mumbling something like 'unbelievable' and 'ungrateful kid'. Jihoon rolls his eyes despite the fact that neither of you can see it.
His mounting annoyance ebbs at your voice, at your gentle question of, "When are you going to finish up?"
Jihoon lets out a low hum, eyeing the aborted song on his laptop. He had wanted to make changes on something— the bridge? the chorus?— but the idea was gone now, replaced only with the crick in his neck and the ache of longing.
"I think I could wrap up for the night," he decides. "We can order in some pizza and watch that drama you like. How does that sound?"
Jihoon can hear the way you try to tamp down your excitement in favor of tentatively asking, "Are you sure? I can always wait for you, darling."
And, oh, he loves you for it. He loves that your first and foremost concern is the disruption to his work, the easy way he throws it all aside in favor of a night in with you. Jihoon is usually much stronger than this, he swears.
But he's a weak, weak man whenever you come calling.
"I'm sure," he says. "See you in ten."
"See you. Take care." A beat. And then, you add in a whisper— almost like you're a little abashed to be saying it in front of Seungcheol— "I love you."
Even though there's nobody around to hear him say it, even though the words are yours and yours alone, Jihoon's voice softens to match your tone.
"I love you, too. Can't wait to come home to you, honey."
Jihoon ends the call at that because he knows you have a thing about not wanting to be the one to put down the phone. He stares down at his device and its Notification Center, where there's dozens of missed calls, texts, and e-mails. Evidence of what he's ignored in favor of the craft.
His 'Do Not Disturb' stays on, with only one exception to the rule: All notifications are allowed from you.
svtsofthours' post ->
Seungcheol: Jihoon isn’t answering his phone. You: I’ll call. Seungcheol: Soonyoung and I have both tried six times each, what makes you think— Jihoon: Hi, honey.
#jihoon x reader#woozi x reader#lee jihoon x reader#jihoon fluff#woozi fluff#jihoon imagines#woozi imagines#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#( god. the things i would do 4 this Man )#(💎) page: svt#(🥡) notebook
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pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader [no faceclaim] summary: you're a meme rapper with a cult following on youtube, and oscar is always in your comments, but it isn't until you release your first single that everyone puts two and two together. notes: this is one of the very first requests i ever received, and finally FINALLY it is done!! we are so back
liked by oscarpiastri, patriciooward, and others
ynusername guys if i wrote a song about dino nuggets would you unfollow me be honest
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username1 yeah
ynusername 😔
oscarpiastri no
ynusername 😁
username2 maybe
ynusername i'm getting mixed signals
oscarpiastri
liked by ynusername, landonorris, and 502,876 others
oscarpiastri Oscar goes outside: Japan edition
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username3 you're not even outside in any of these pictures oscar what
landonorris who are we getting dinner with, young man? 🤨
oscarpiastri My mum 😊 landonorris yeah right
username4 omg any yn fans in the comments?? mother liked the post 👀
username5 yeah they follow each other lol i don't think they've ever met though username6 they've definitely interacted, but yeah i think they're just like online acquaintances haha
ynusername nice berries mate
oscarpiastri Thanks, I've heard that before
liked by ynusername, oscarpiastri, and 251,876 others
mclaren Happy Birthday Oscar! 🥳
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username7 guys why's oscar kinda...
username8 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??
oscarpiastri 😁😁😁
ynusername happy birthday. oscarpiastri Ok that's a lot of negative energy please step back username9 help these interactions are always so random??
username10 oscar's waist looking SNATCHED omg
username11 guys is this a safe space for me to confess something?
landonorris no, keep it to yourself
ynusername
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ynusername finally releasing a single woohoo!! 'bark bark' coming out april 19th on spotify and apple music ^-^
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username12 OMG YESSSS
username13 WHAT YN THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!
oscarpiastri What's it about
ynusername you have to stream the song and find out silly oscarpiastri Is it about me ynusername oh my god
ynusername
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ynusername the type of face you'd go to war for (look past the camera, he's shy)
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landonorris shucks, i'm blushing
ynusername i am so obviously not talking about you
username14 NEW MUSIC WHEN??
ynusername the single JUST came out CHILL!
username15 the last slide??
username16 new music hint? ynusername no that's just me talking about oscar and lando landonorris ....which one am i? ynusername i literally called you a slut nine times in suzuka username17 so oscar is lust???? oscarpiastri Thank you Barbie!!
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oscarpiastri Busy busy week, but glad the secret's out. My girlfriend is cooler and funnier than yours, by the way.
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ynusername you're so hot i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure
ynusername the hair?? the smile?? the grabbable waist?? WOW!!
ynusername gonna write another song about you
ynusername if i saw you in the street i'd catcall you
ynusername i want you.
oscarpiastri I love you too
username18 FKSDHJGLKHDJG IM SO HAPPY YN CAN BE UNHINGED AND CRAZY NOW GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR THEM!!
request: hiiii babe! i love ur account! i was wondering if u could do an oscar piastri x meme rapper gf with an @addy_kate fc. like shes actually really funny and her music is oddly good (like tmg).
tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @blue-isnt-avaliable @iifloweringnightsii @graciewrote @formulaal @m0cha-bunny @marvelsimps @mehrmonga @elliegrey2803 @theblueblub @gwginnyweasley @sltwins @f1kenzzz @alexmarie29 @donttouchthegnote @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @luvvtrent @maddie-naps @lilcowboy0 @tygecjjd @skepvids @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @notawc @landossainz @janegxi @chaotic_version @lookatitlaterlol @cometsrodrigo @lizzypiastri @nixisracing @lavviee @yaesflorist
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#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#f1#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#instagram au#f1 imagine#oscar piastri imagine#f1 instagram au#social media au#oscar piastri au#saturn writes
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as big as the friend confession scene is i love this part best. laios is ofc still under the impression that kabru likes monster food and went thru this big effort to make something special for him and then kabru goes out of his way to be so warm and sweet, and frankly a bit flirtatious like i know he thinks that exit killed it
and hes kinda right bc laios cannot stop staring after him when he leaves and i cannot attribute all that to him being confused about what kabru meant by "dont forget me next time". like laios means it if he says something like "meeting you was the best part of this" those are not empty words even if hes under a false impression about kabru--i dont think its just that kabru shared his interest that has his attention either. i think its bc kabru really engaged with him. i dont think his opinion wouldve changed much if kabru said "nahhhh im good i wont eat a monster cool for you tho have fun" instead of saying he would try it
(and he really is trying the 'laugh at anything he says so he'll feel special' strat here huh.....)
and kabru despite being a stranger he helped get thru to shuro about falins resurrection
and he does it with a sensitivity and care that laios wishes he was capable of and he know it limits him as a leader
the thought laios keeps having about kabru isnt "wow he loves monsters too!" its "wow he is sooooo nice :3" which he is! at this stage he likes kabru bc he feels heard by him and kabru has qualities he knows he lacks but admires greatly and didnt make fun of him or call him weird for his interest in monsters
the way kabru acts and thinks about laios at this point feels allegorical to how people feel in new relationships. can i trust you? are you who you seem? if i tell you how ive been hurt, will you use this to hurt me or to protect me? i dont know yet, but i like you so far, so im going to show you the self that i think you'll like best. i want to impress you. i want you to trust me so maybe i can trust you
so much of dungeon meshi is about the way that we accidentally hurt our loved ones because we cant always understand them, or we dont know whats best for them when theyve been hurt in such complex ways, or because were too scared of being hurt again to tell them not to press into the bruise (see: chimera falin, falin giving up parts of her life to suit/protect marcille and laios bc she loves them, laios driving marcille deeper into the winged lions grip TWICE with his advice in the nightmares and again with the dungeon rabbits, everything chilchuck has ever done in his whole life, laios' father's everything also, and this is a labru post so ofc kabru lying about wanting to eat monsters to impress laios) i wouldnt be surprised if the allegory was intentional
anyways this part of their relationship budding into a toxic little flower theyll have to prune later is very cute to me and i really like reading it again knowing how they turn their relationship around later into one built on a mutual understanding and trust
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nothing's gonna hurt you baby || joe burrow x reader

description: the first game of the season doesn't go as planned and it kills you to see joe like this. you can't help but feel deja vu...
a/n: ahem, is this thing on 🎤🎤. i'm backkkkk… after a much-needed tiny break (not planned just life getting in the way). this is a little something i cooked up! still working on "taste" which is a slow work in progress but that's the main next fic that'll be coming soon!
as always, thanks for reading & showing love :)))) i hope this wasn’t too much yapping and nonsense lol. the smut isnt my best because i wrote it while i was half asleep but i hope you enjoy it. there’s also plenty of song references throughout the fic (biggest one and the inspiration being this CAS song)
warnings: angst, fluff, smut. that's literally the whole fic :)
word count: 12.2 k
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You leaned back against the wall across from the entrance to the locker rooms, anxiously picking at a thumbnail on your finger as you waited for your boyfriend to come out so you two could go home. You were standing in your orange halter crop top with a little '9' embroidered on the bottom left side and matching white jean shorts with the same '9' embroidered in orange on the back right pocket. The '9' on your shorts was a little bigger than the one on your top which Joe loved because according to him ‘everyone knows who your ass belongs to’. His adorable possessive nature was always something you admired and appreciated. He was very secure in your relationship and knew nobody would take you from him, but that didn't stop him from ensuring everyone knew you were his at any chance he got.
You were also wearing orange stiletto knee-high boots which adds to the overall orange vibe of your game-day outfit. The theme was 'open in orange' so you were wearing as much orange as you could possibly make look cute. Your '9' necklace was the only piece of jewelry you had around your neck, and your wrists were decked out with bracelets given to you by Joe–each one even more polished and expensive than the previous one, and various rings on your fingers. Your favorite one, the beautiful promise ring Joe gave you for your 2nd anniversary, shined brighter than any of the jewelry you had on. It was a ‘secret garden’ inspired ring, one of your favorite books of all time.
There was a growing pit in your stomach as you stood there gazing at the large ‘B’ on the wall outside the locker room, a slow-burning sensation that started about two minutes into the game, and it was only getting bigger as the minutes passed by. By the end of the game, you were the most on edge you had ever been in your entire life.
Since this was Joe's first real game back after his wrist injury, your anxiety was already pretty bad by the time you got to the stadium. Your brain was swarmed with 'what-if?' scenarios and it was eating you alive. Joe, however, seemed the exact opposite of you. He was completely calm, normal, and focused like this was any other game. His peaceful temperament wasn't surprising since he had always been like this before every game but it also should've been expected since he worked through most of his emotions with you the night before and didn’t have anything left to get out. You on the other hand did a complete 360; you were so calm with him last night but right now you were on the verge of ripping your eyelashes out.
Flashback to the night before
You reached over to grab your glass of water, taking a big sip to help wash down the spicy chicken you were eating for dinner. You looked up at Joe as you were swallowing your water, noting how he was playing around with his food on his unusually full plate. You had been eating for almost 15 minutes and by now, his plate should be empty given how much of an animal he was once dinner rolled around.
“Not hungry?” you broke the unusual silence and asked.
Joe's eyes glanced up to meet yours, his cheeks burning because you took note of his behavior, which you weren't supposed to. “Uhh, not really,” he sighed as he placed his fork down and leaned back in his chair, his sweaty hands sliding up and down his thighs out of nervousness.
“You do know you have a game tomorrow, right?” you chuckled as you placed your fork down and leaned back in your chair like he was. “You need all the protein you can get,”.
“...Y- yeah, I know,” Joe mumbled after a few seconds of uneasy silence.
You instantly noticed the change in his body language at the mention of the game; the way his eyes fell down to his lap after his mumbling response, the way he started bouncing his left leg, his shoulders tensing up a little bit, the way he was constantly doing something with his hands as if he was uncomfortable, the way he was chewing at his bottom lip. These were all things Joe did when he was feeling anxious.
But why was he anxious?
“Hey, you okay?” you asked while leaning forward again, his body language making you worry.
“Yeah, I'm fine,” he swallowed, still not meeting your eyes. He knew all it took was for you to get one look at his eyes to figure out he was lying and he really didn't want to burden you with his complicated emotions tonight.
“He’s lying,” you thought to yourself. The fact that he was avoiding eye contact with you was a dead giveaway. “Joe?” you said while lowering your head to get into his view.
“Yeah?” he said, his voice slightly trembling as he finally looked into your eyes.
“Why are you lying to me?” you said as your face dropped at the sight of his tired eyes and shaky voice.
“I’m not ly-,” he began to say before you interrupted him.
“Yeah, you are,” you interrupted. “I know you, remember. I know you better than you know yourself,” you softly laughed.
You weren’t wrong there, you did know Joe better than he knew himself and he was the first one to admit it. You knew exactly what he was thinking, exactly how to put his feelings into words even when he couldn’t do so himself, and exactly how to handle him. There was a reason why you were the only person he let into the bubble that he had around himself once football started back up. You were his shelter in the hurricane that became his life once he was back on the field and without you, Joe would be a mess.
Your response earned no reaction from Joe, he just sat there in silence and continued to bounce his leg up and down as he started to play with the wristbands on his wrist, yet another anxiety-related mannerism.
You let out a tired breath, “I’m not doing this, I can’t have him shut me out again,” you thought to yourself before scooting your chair back, walking around the dining table, and sitting down on the seat next to him. You turned your chair to face him and grabbed his hands, feeling the thin layer of sweat that coated his palms which made your heart hurt.
“Joe, it’s just us right now. Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, talk to me,” you said while giving his hands a soft squeeze. You were feeling deja vu right now, you found yourself in the same situation you found yourself in many times over the early months of the off-season, only then it was 10 times worse than it was right now.
Joe looked into your eyes, his body feeling heavy as self-doubt, anxiety, and fear crept into his mind. He was nervous about tomorrow’s game. Joe had never been nervous about a game like this and you were sitting in front of him, trying to get him to talk which you shouldn’t need to ‘try’ to do, he should be openly talking to you right now about his feelings. He always let you into the bubble, so why was it so hard for him to do it right now?
He realized that he was shutting down again, just like he had when he first got injured back in November. He didn’t want to go back to that dark place again, especially since coming out of it was a struggle that affected you both very badly. “I’m scared,” he choked out a few seconds later, trying his best to push through the wall he was unknowingly building again.
“Why?” you quietly asked as you felt your heart shatter because of the tone of his voice. You hated seeing him like this, it broke your heart to see him like this. You moved your hand up to cup his neck, the pads of your fingers were softly rubbing his tan skin which was a gentle action that you knew would calm him down.
“It’s my first game back from injury. An injury that could’ve easily ended my career. It should’ve ended my career,” he said while lifting his hand to wipe a stray tear from his eye.
“But it didn’t,” you smiled. “It didn’t end your career then and it won’t end your career now,”.
“How do you know that? I haven’t played in a real game since November. I haven’t gotten hit yet, I haven’t gotten sacked yet, and I haven’t been putting that much pressure on my hand. Tomorrow could easily be the last game of my career. Just one wrong move and-,”.
“No.” you interrupted. “You’re not doing that. Not on my watch,” you sternly said, trying to prevent him from getting too far inside his head about everything. Overthinking was his worst enemy.
“I’m being realistic, Y/N. Who knows if I’ll be the same Joe I was before,” he said while blinking away a few tears.
“You don’t need to be the same Joe you were before,” you soothed while continuing to rub his neck. “What you went through was unlike anything anyone has seen before, if people are expecting you to get right back to where you left off then they have no heart or brains. You’ll get to where you need to be, I promise. Things like this take time,” you added. “The Joe you are now is more than enough. You have grown in many ways that you might not have been able to unless you went through what you went through after November. You’ve worked on yourself and become more open, honest, and loose. You’ve put in the work on the field, in the weight room, in training, and even at home. You’re coming out of this a better person and a better player. A better Joe,”.
“I just don’t want to let anyone down. What if we lose tomorrow? With the slow start narrative getting louder and the aftermath of my wrist injury, this could be really fucked. This year is so important and I just don’t want to let anyone down; the organization, the team, the public, you,” he continued, his grip on your other hand becoming tighter. “I know I have a chip on my shoulder and have a lot to prove this year, but the thought of people not seeing that is killing me,”.
“You won’t let anyone down, Joe. And you could never ever fucking let me down, never say that again,” you said as you continued to rub his neck, seeing that he was getting more loose from your touch. “You’ve worked so so hard the past 10 months to get back to where you want to be and everyone and I mean everyone has seen that. I’ve seen that. Adversity always makes you better, it ignites that fire inside of you. That fire makes you who you are,” you said to him, feeling a little more comfortable yourself after seeing his body relax a bit. “Remember who you are. You’re Joe Burrow. Heisman winner, College Football National Champion, the first overall draft pick, one of the Top 5 quarterbacks in the league, one of the highest-paid quarterbacks, Ohio’s golden boy. You’re all of those things for a reason, Joe. You have it in you. You don’t need to be afraid or doubt yourself because you did all of those things, nobody else, just you,”.
You moved your hand over and wiped the tears that slowly were sliding down his cheeks before feeling Joe grab your hand and press a wet kiss to your palm. “I love you,” he sniffled. “I genuinely don’t know what I would do without you,”.
“I love you too,” you smiled before you leaned up to kiss his forehead. “Tomorrow is unpredictable, I will admit. But you control the narrative. You control what happens and what doesn’t happen out there. It’s just you and the football like it always has been. I know you and I know you’re going to kill it,”.
Joe gave you a small nod as he let your words sit inside of his head; you were right and he knew you were right. He did all of this himself, he single-handedly built his reputation and although there was an immense amount of pressure on him to maintain it, he knew that it was his reputation. He had control over his story, not anyone else. He didn’t need to work at anyone else’s speed except for his own. He knows the narrative that the media has been running with since November, that his career has been hindered by continuous injuries and he’s ’injury prone’. He knows what that title has done to the public's opinion on his career and rank as a player, but they don’t get to define him based on what they think. He is defined by everything he does himself.
It’s not their story, it’s his.
He reached out and placed his hand on your waist, gently pulling you from your chair and into his lap. You instantly looped your arms around his neck and pushed his head to the crook of your neck, this warm hug from you was the final thing he needed to fully calm his nerves. “You always know what to say to me,” he mumbled against your collarbone as you ran your fingers through his slightly grown-out frosted tips, his hands softly massaging your plush skin.
“It’s my job,” you chuckled. “I signed up for this when I met you at that football practice all those years ago and I plan on staying true to what I signed up for as long as I can,” you added before you dropped a kiss on his cheek, your mind calming down once you felt him relax against you.
“You better plan on it. I’m not letting you go anywhere,” he said as he pulled you in tighter.
“Well it’s a good thing I don’t want to go anywhere,” you giggled in his ear before pressing a kiss to it, then turning back to serious to finish off your little pep-talk. “I’m so proud of you, Joe. More than you’ll ever know. You’re truly the hardest working man I’ve ever met and you continue to amaze me with your dedication and determination every single day. Never think that you’re not good enough and you’re not who everyone thinks you are. You’re Joe Fucking Burrow. Never forget that,”.
“I won’t,” he sighed contently, finally at peace. “I won’t forget,” he said again before he pulled you closer and closed his eyes, getting lost in your palliative embrace.
End of flashback
You were so calm last night and now you were the complete opposite; you couldn’t figure out where and when things went south with your emotions. During the game, your brain was running a mile a minute as you thought of everything that could go wrong: Joe re-aggravating his injury, someone else on the team getting badly injured, and the team not being able to beat the slow start narrative. You were anxious, nervous, and deeply scared once the first quarter of the game started, and your feelings were validated when two minutes into the game Joe got sacked and fumbled the ball.
You remember your heart stopping once you saw him go down as this was the first time he had been hit since November.
“No!” you screamed as you shot up from your seat, your hand gripping the necklace around your neck as you looked down on the field and saw a bunch of large behemoths on top of him. “No, No, No,” you panicked as your breaths got shorter, your anxiety getting worse and worse as you saw flashbacks from the Ravens game in November. “Please be okay,” you thought to yourself as you were on the verge of tears.
Then you remember your heart dropping to your feet once you saw the ball come loose and even though he recovered it, this whole play left a bitter taste in your mouth since it was literally the first few minutes of the game and things were already not going as planned. Luckily, his going down didn’t seem to affect his wrist, but you could only imagine how it affected him mentally.
You thought that would’ve been the only sack of the game, but once again you were wrong. Each time Joe went down, you felt your heart stop. Each time he ran, your heart stopped again as you got flashbacks from early last year with his calf injury. Each time the camera panned to the sidelines and focused in on him, you felt like crying because you could tell the way the game was going was eating away at him by his facial expressions.
Every sack, every fumble, every drive that ended without scoring, and every turnover was killing you because the things Joe feared were happening even though you told him they wouldn’t. Seeing him flex his wrist on the sidelines and in between plays was the one thing that really did it for you. You didn’t know if this was just to keep his hand loose because he was feeling some tightness or whether this was because something was actually bothering him, your brain was in panic mode for the rest of the game.
“I hope he’s okay, that was ugly,” you thought to yourself before you jumped at the sound of the locker room door swinging open and snapping you out of your daze.
You watched as Joe walked out of the locker room, his eyes exhausted and defeated as he gave you a small ‘reassuring’ smile, however, it wasn’t very reassuring because his eyes gave his true feelings away in an instant.
You returned his smile with a smile of your own, opening your mouth to ask him if he was okay but before you could he leaned forward and dropped a kiss on your lips. He held it for a few moments as he melted into your touch which was the only relieving feeling he had felt all day before pulling away, entwining your pinkies, and leading you out to the car.
“That’s not good, he’s never this quiet when I come to meet him after the game,” you thought to yourself. If you didn’t say something first, he almost always did, but he wasn’t saying anything which was concerning. You stayed quiet as he led you out to the garage, your eyes not leaving his weary face for one second. You could tell he wasn’t okay, you could tell he was beating himself up over today’s loss.
A few moments later, he led you over to the passenger’s side of the car, an unusual move since you always drove the both of you home after a game. “I thought I was driving,” you gently said as you looked up at him.
“I got it,” he said with no emotion in his voice, dropping your pinky and looking into your eyes with his now cold and emotionless ones.
“But Joe I-,” you began to say but before you could finish your sentence he turned around and walked to the other side of the car.
“He definitely heard me,” you thought to yourself as you watched him open the backseat door and roughly throw his bag in, then slammed the door shut with a little more force than usual which startled you.
You let out a deep breath before opening your door and sliding into the passenger seat, your body stiff and frozen because of the way he was acting. You were scared to say something, scared to do something because you didn’t know what reaction you’d get from him, “He’s not doing this again, right?” you worried.
10 minutes into the drive home, you started getting agitated. He had yet to say anything to you, not even asking you if you were cold and if he should turn down the AC which he always asked you whenever you were in the car since he knew you got cold easily. His hands were gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were practically turning white and his eyes were so locked in on the road in front of you that he hadn’t even noticed that you started shivering a little bit.
“Are you okay?” you finally broke the tension and asked, your bottom lip in between your teeth out of nervousness. Joe rarely ever raised his voice at you or got irritated by you saying something to him, but that didn’t stop you from getting nervous around him whenever he was acting like this.
You saw his jaw clench for a brief moment, your heart skipping a beat as you braced yourself for a potentially explosive reaction, but then you saw him unclench it. “I’m fine,” he said, once again with no emotion in his voice.
You gave him a small nod and then a few seconds later asked another question since he wasn’t budging, “How’s your wrist?”.
He let out a sigh, one that you could hear from his nose so it was definitely coming from a tired place, “It’s fine,” he said again, not giving you much to work with.
“He’s not fine, lying yet again. Maybe I could make him laugh? I need to do something to get him to loosen up” you thought to yourself, your brain scrambling to think of something to make him laugh even if it was for a brief moment.
“At least you guys scored a touchdown this time,” you smiled a few seconds later. “Even though you didn’t win the game, I’d say it was better than week 1 last year against the browns,”.
You studied his face carefully after you finished your sentence, searching for any tiny muscle movement that resulted in his lips curling up into a smile, but nothing. “Yeah,” he nodded, once again with no emotion. He then reached over to the center console, turning the knob for the volume up so that the once softly playing music was blasting throughout the car.
You felt your lip quiver and your eyes started to pool with tears as you continued to look at him, praying that he would look at you for even one brief moment, but he didn’t. “He’s doing it again,” you thought to yourself as you fell back into your seat. “He’s fucking doing it again. Just like he did after he got injured. He’s shutting me out,” you thought as you felt a tear slide down your cheek, your head turning away so that you were looking out the window so if Joe did happen to look over at you, he wouldn’t notice your silent tears.
Joe did look over at you. He was waiting for you to stop looking at him because he couldn’t look into your eyes right now, not when his brain was all over the place and he could regret the things that potentially came out of his mouth. He looked over at you when he saw you turn your head to the window from the corner of his eyes, his eyes softening when he saw your body shaking. You were cold. He always asks you if you’re cold, and this time he didn’t.
“I fuck everything up,” he muttered under his breath as he reached over to turn the AC down.
30 minutes later
After a car ride filled with deafening silence, you made it back home a half hour later and were pouring two glasses of water for you and Joe. He was sitting at the kitchen island behind you scrolling on his phone, still quiet as ever. You grabbed his glass and placed it in front of him, getting a peek at what he was looking at on his phone.
Media reactions.
Joe never looked at what the internet was saying about a game after it happened, it was one of his ‘blocking outside noise’ methods, so why was he looking at them?
“You really shouldn’t be looking at all that bullshit,” you said to him as you took a small sip of your water, the cool liquid feeling like a quiet unraveling of tightness within your body.
Joe was so focused on his phone that he didn’t notice that you were talking to him, the only things that he could hear were the voices of reporters talking about the team’s constant slow starts, his poor performance–saying that he played scared, rusty, and didn’t look like himself and that this team is constantly setting itself up for failure.
A video came up on his phone, an analyst was talking about his performance in today’s game, “We have to talk about Joe Burrow. He said he was ready, he said he felt great, and he said that this team was ready. But did that Cincinnati Bengals team that played against the Patriots today look ready? Absolutely not. Did the Joe Burrow who stepped out onto that field look ready? Absolutely Not. He looked scared, he didn’t look like himself. The lack of Deep Balls, the lack of throwing down the field. That’s not the Joe Burrow we’ve seen in years past. What’s truly going on in Cincinnati? Is there a deeper issue within that we aren’t seeing?”.
“They see right through me,” Joe thought to himself, feeling his eyes sting from the hot tears that were threatening to come out. He felt like the room was on fire, and there was invisible smoke. Nobody could really see what he was going through, all they saw was the burning room.
You felt your heart drop as you heard the reporter talk about Joe’s performance in today’s game, knowing that Joe was probably already criticizing himself and this was going to make it worse. “Joe?” you said a little louder, snapping him out of the dark haze he was stuck in.
“Hm?” he hummed as he looked up at you, noticing your pursed lips and worried eyes.
“Are you okay?” you asked again, feeling uneasy from the look he had on his face.
“...I said I’m fine,” he replied, his voice a little rougher than earlier.
You shook your head, “I know you’re not fine. Stop lying to me,” you said with a more rigid tone.
“I’m not lying to you. I said I’m fine. I don’t think it could be more simpler than that,” he rolled his eyes as he picked up his glass of water, taking a big sip.
“If you are really ‘fine’,” you say, making air quotes around ‘fine’, “Why are you looking at all that bullshit? You never look at any of that because you say it messes with your head,” you say.
“Because I can?” he scoffs, standing up from the barstool and walking around the island to place his water glass in the sink.
You take a deep breath, trying not to point out his snappy attitude because you know he isn’t in the right headspace right now. “Joe, seriously. I know you’re not fine but it’s just me. You can talk to me,” you gently say as you walk over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder but he quickly turns around and walks back over to where he was sitting to grab his phone which made your hand drop from his shoulder.
“I know you had a shitty game, I know you’re in your head about it, I get it. Trust me I do, but just let me-,” you begin to say as you walk over to him before he interrupts you.
“Do you though?” he asks. “Do you really get it? Sweet talking and hugs don’t magically make everything better, Y/N,” he says, his voice a little louder.
“Ouch.” you thought to yourself. “No. Remember, he’s not in the right headspace, Y/N. He’s not trying to be hurtful,”.
“I’m not saying that,” you say to him. “I know that doesn’t make everything better but talking to someone about your feelings does. You know that. You spent weeks working on that, remember?” referring to the therapy sessions he had this past off-season to work through the emotional and mental effects of his injury and just overall mental health.
“I know, but I said I’m fine. I don’t need to talk about anything, especially with you,” he said, his words feeling like a punch to your gut.
“Okay, what the fuck?” you thought to yourself. “What do you mean ‘especially’ with me?” you asked, your tone switching from gentle to slightly angry.
Joe stays quiet for a few seconds, his gaze fixed on the concerned look on your face. He knew what he was saying to you was most likely hurting you and you were coming from a place of worry, but he couldn’t control the things that were leaving his mouth right now. “I’m not doing this with you right now,” he shook his head and turned around, walking over to the stairs.
“Doing what?” you said loudly, following him over to the stairs. “I’m just trying to get you to talk to me but you’re making this a bigger deal than it needs to be,”.
“How am I making this a bigger deal?” he grumbles, turning around to look at you. “You’re the one that won’t leave me alone. I’ve said that I’m fine to you like 5 times now,”.
“You’re making this a bigger deal because you’re shutting me out, again,” you say, feeling your cheeks burn with anger, frustration, and sadness. You and Joe hardly fought, and whenever you did, it broke both of you. You felt like absolute shit right now and you couldn’t even imagine how Joe was feeling.
“No, I’m not. You’re being unbelievable right now,” he rolled his eyes again and started walking up the stairs with you hot on his tail.
“No, I’m not,” you say, echoing his words. “You are shutting me out just like you did after your wrist injury. What happened to letting me in your bubble? Because right now it feels like I’m being pushed 100 feet from your bubble for no reason,” you said, your voice a little shaky as you tried to hold back your building tears.
“I’m not shutting you out, Y/N,” he said loudly, his voice even more rougher. “Just because I don’t want to talk to you about how shitty I did today doesn’t mean I’m shutting you out. I just don’t want or feel the need to talk to you about it,”.
“See, you aren’t okay. I knew you weren’t okay. You know you played like shit so you’re clearly not fine,” you huffed as you made it to the top of the stairs.
“Is that all you wanted to hear? That I played like shit? Okay, yeah, I played like absolute shit. You win. Now will you leave me alone?” he said, trying to hold back from shouting at you even though he was dancing on the line that separated shouting from talking loudly.
“That’s not what I want to hear, Joe. You know that,” you said, your voice cracking once you felt a hot tear slide down your cheek. “I just want you to talk to me about your feelings, especially after our conversation last night. I don’t want you to go through all that again because I know how hard you tried to move past this mentally. You shut me out before and dealt with all of this on your own, and I saw how badly it affected you. I don’t want you to do that again. I can’t see you like that again,” you cried, your body shaking as all of your built-up emotions from the entire day were coming out.
You wiped your eyes as you followed him down the hallway, both of you walking past your bedroom and heading toward his office. You made it to the door and watched him open it and step inside. You were going to follow him in, but he turned around on the doorstep which blocked you from going inside. “No,” he shook his head.
“But..Joe I-,” you cried harder.
“No. Just please go away,” he said, his jaw clenching again like it was earlier, but this time it stayed clenched. “I can’t deal with you right now,” he said, his words feeling like a stab to your heart now.
There was nothing behind those eyes now. He had built up that wall again, that wall you tried so hard to prevent from being built because you knew you’d never be able to get over it. The same wall that he had built back in November after his injury. He did it again. After working so hard to be more open and honest about his feelings, thoughts, and emotions, he went straight back to square 1.
“Joe, please,” you pleaded. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, if you just talk to me,” you cried more forcefully.
Joe stared at you for a few heartbeats, his heart-shattering at the sight of the state he had brought you to. It was all his fault. Everything was his fault; the game and now this argument. Deep down, he knew you were right, but he just couldn’t see it because the wall he had built was too high.
He was about to open his mouth to say something, trying to listen to you and talk to you about how he was feeling, but he backed down once he saw you start to shake. He saw your distressed face, your red eyes, your trembling lip, your shaking body, and your rapid breathing. He knew this was all his fault. If he unloaded all of his incredibly heavy, intense, and dreadful feelings on you right now, that would be so incredibly selfish of him.
Joe backed up in the doorway which made you think he was letting you come inside, but just as you were about to come in, he shut the door on your face.
You stare at the closed door for a few seconds, not processing what just happened. He really wasn’t letting you in. After all that, after everything he went through? After everything you both went through these past 10 months?
“Do you know how scared I was the entire game? Do you know how every time you went down my heart stopped? Do you know that I spent 5 minutes crying in the bathroom during halftime because I saw the look on your face?” you shouted at the door, your sobs getting louder. “I know this is hard for you but I’m here, Joe. I’m always h- here,” you choke out.
“Just leave me the fuck alone!” Joe shouted through the door, tears sliding down his cheeks as he squeezed his eyes shut because he instantly regretted saying that to you especially with that harshness in his voice that he knew would hurt you.
You backed up from the door once you heard him shout at you, he never shouted at you, not even when you had arguments worse than this. You looked around the hallway, trying to collect your thoughts but there were none left to collect. You said everything that you could’ve possibly said to get through to him, what more was there left to say?
He wanted you to leave him alone, so you were going to do just that.
“Okay, I’ll leave you alone,” you whispered to yourself, turning around and walking to your shared bedroom, your sobs echoing throughout the house as you disappeared inside your room.
On the other side of the office door, Joe was sitting in his office chair, hot tears sliding down his cheeks as he was drowning with regret. He lamented saying those things to you, he doesn’t know what came over him. What was wrong with him?
“Why did I do that to her? Why the fuck did I do that to…her?” he sniffled. He knows his anxiety and fears are controlling him right now, but there was absolutely no reason for him to take it out on the one person who always is there for him no matter what.
“I fuck everything up,” he cried as he looked at a photo of the two of you sitting on his desk, a photo his mom took after he got his wrist surgery.
Flashback to November 27th
“Babe, can we go skydiving?” Joe laughed as he rolled his head against the pillow to look at you. He had just woken up from surgery so he was feeling the effects of the anesthesia, and boy were they funny. The things that were coming out of his mouth were nothing but lighthearted, pure fun. It was good to see him laugh and smile especially since how melancholic his attitude had been since he got injured.
“Absolutely not,” you said while giving him a serious look. “You are not jumping out of a plane as long as I am on this earth,”.
“But why not? They have parachutes,” he pouted. “I think it would be sooooo fun,”.
“This is the same man who hates flying. Can you believe it?” Robin laughed as she finished typing up a text to send to family members to let them know the surgery went really well.
“I know right?” you laughed with her.
“How long did they say I can’t do stuff with my hand for?” Joe asked you with his adorable wide-eyed stare.
“I think they said to have it in a sling for at least a month right now until your first follow-up,” you said as you brushed his hair out of his eyes.
“A month?” Joe dramatically gasped, his jaw dropping to the floor.
“Yeah,” you laughed. “Sorry baby, you’re not Deadpool and can’t heal within 5 seconds,” you smiled.
“Wait, does that mean we can’t have sex for a month?” he gasped again.
“Joe!” you shrieked, your cheeks turning red because his mom was right in front of you both.
“Ah, wait. Loophole, duhh. You can just be on top which I know you love,” he winked while using his finger to point at you for emphasis.
“Oh my god,” you whined as you hid your face in your sweatshirt sleeves, hearing Joe’s mom break out into a fit of laughter.
“Hey, don’t hide your pretty face from me,” Joe pouted as he used his good hand to lower your hands that were covering your face. “Ahh, there she is. My beautiful, adorable, sexy-as-hell, fiance,” he said after you uncovered your face.
“Fiance?” you raised an eyebrow and asked. “Is this your way of proposing?” you giggled.
“No. When I actually do, it’ll be way more grander, sexier, and special than this,” he winked. “Like I’m talking maybe on the top of the Empire State Building, maybe in the middle of the football stadium, maybe at the top of the Eiffel Tower, maybe even while we go skydiving type special proposal. But I know I’m marrying you and I like the word fiance better than girlfriend,” he laughed.
“You’re insane,” you laughed as you dropped your head to his chest, feeling him cup your head with his good hand and drop a kiss on your head.
“I love you like a lot,” he giggled. “Like a lot a lot,” he giggled again.
“Ohh, I know,” you cheesed.
“You definitely don’t. I love you more than words can describe,” he smiled, you craned your head up to look into his sweet eyes before leaning up and pressing a kiss to his lips. “I love you too, Burrow,”.
After you pulled away you were about to get up from his hospital bed but his mom spoke up, “Wait, stay like that. I’m going to get a picture,” she smiled.
“Yesss,” Joe nodded. “I loveeeee pictures, especially with my fiance,”.
“You are really something,” you giggled as you sat up straight.
You moved your hair back and helped Joe scooch up in the bed before turning your head and pressing a kiss to his cheek, placing your hand under his chin as he had a giant grin on his face. His good hand was wrapped around your waist and was holding you as close as possible to his body.
You two were so happy. For once this past month, you were laughing, you both were smiling.
“Are you going to be my protector for the next few months?” Joe giggled. “Not let anything bad happen to me and my wrist?”.
“Oh, 100%. I am your nurse, personal bodyguard, and protector. Nobody is hurting my man on my watch,” you grinned again as you smothered his cheeks with kisses.
You both knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but as long as you were by each other’s side, nothing was going to hurt you.
End of flashback
“Nothing’s going to hurt me as long as she’s with me. I can’t keep pushing her away,” Joe whispered to himself as he snapped out of the sweet memory and wiped his tears.
2 hours later
It had been two hours since your fight with Joe so it had been two hours since you had last seen him. After going into your bedroom earlier, you spent about 10 minutes crying in the bathroom as you tried to change into some comfier clothes. You felt awful about the whole thing. The way you lost your cool a few times, the way he was talking to you, just everything–it was horrible.
You were currently sitting on the couch, sipping on some water and scrolling through some photos on your phone of the two of you. You let out a small laugh when you came across a silly photo of the two of you at a Hurricane Party you dragged him to at LSU. You remembered he was fully against the idea of going to a party during a hurricane, saying it was ‘batshit crazy’ and a ‘death wish’ but you managed to drag him along with you because you didn’t want him to sit inside and stress about the storm. In the photo, you two were standing on the deck of your friend’s house, the wind blowing so hard against you that Joe’s hat was flying away, and you with the hat you were trying to catch. His hand was tightly gripping onto yours and there were silly, drunk, lovesick smiles on both your faces as you were being soaked from the rain.
“We’re insane,” you sniffled, realizing how batshit crazy it really was to party during a hurricane.
As you were looking at other photos, you heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. You looked over at the bottom of the staircase, seeing Joe coming down in comfy clothes and wet hair which meant he showered and came out of his office at some point.
“At least he wasn’t in there for the entirety of these two hours looking at stuff from the game,” you thought to yourself.
Joe met your eyes as he walked into the room, seeing how red and puffy they were which was yet another thing that made him feel like absolute shit. He turned his head away at the same time you turned yours and walked into the kitchen, pulling out a glass from the cabinet.
He started pouring you a glass of water, adding a few ice cubes because he knew you loved to chew on ice after you cried. At first, he didn’t understand the correlation, but then you explained to him that the ice has this cooling effect that can reduce heat and swelling around the face that happens after crying for a while.
He grabbed the glass from the counter and slowly walked over to the couch, standing in front of you and holding the glass out. “Here,” he softly said, his voice just as heavy as yours which told you that he was crying too.
You slowly looked up at him, noticing that his eyes were also red and puffy. He definitely was crying too.
“Thanks,” you quietly say as you take the glass from him, taking a big sip and letting the ice cube float into your mouth.
“At least he remembered the ice,” you thought to yourself, appreciating the fact that he added them.
You start to chew on the ice as you see Joe plop down on the couch next to you, your body freezing up because you remember everything he said to you earlier. You knew he was coming from a place of anger and guilt, but it still hurt. Joe noticed you tense up next to him, because of him, and that felt like a knife to his heart.
You both stayed quiet, staring at the random re-run of an episode of Friends that was playing on TV, but your minds weren’t focused on what was happening in the show. They were focused on each other.
Joe felt his bottom lip start to quiver as his eyes once again pooled with tears, all of his emotions were coming out again. He fucked things up with you so bad tonight that he didn’t even know how to fix it. He hurt you. You were just trying to help him for his own good and he shut down on you. He shut you out. The one and only person that he let into his bubble. The one person he needed in his bubble.
His brain was already crowded with anxiety and fear regarding football, but this was the worst thing out of everything. He didn’t want to go back to that dark place again, he didn’t want to deal with this on his own.
You heard soft sniffles come from beside you so you looked over, your heart shattering again as you saw Joe on the verge of tears, his eyes so red and his lip trembling like he was trying to hold it together.
He didn’t need to hold it together, not around you. You knew that. You needed to make sure he knew that. “Come here,” you whispered to him as you put your arm around his shoulder and pulled him into your chest.
Joe immediately snaked his arm around your waist and rested his cheek against your chest, letting his tears fall from his eyes onto your pink tank top. You wriggled your hand into his frosted tip hair, scratching his scalp and pressing kisses to his head as he cried harder into your chest.
You hated seeing him cry, but you knew he was feeling a lot right now and he needed to get his feelings out and this was the best way for him to do it. “It’s okay,” you soothed as you rubbed his back. “I’m here,”.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m s- so fucking sorry,” he cried harder. “I didn’t mean to yell at you, I didn’t mean to say all of that horrible shit to you. You don’t deserve any of that, you were just trying to help,”.
“I know, baby, I know,” you said, blinking away a few of your own tears. “It’s okay,”,
“No, it’s not okay,” he said. “This is all so fucked up. I fucked everything up,” he sobbed.
“No, you didn’t,” you said to him as you continued to rub his back. “You didn’t fuck anything up, Joe. Everything’s fine,”.
“I did. I fucked up in the game and then I fucked up things with you. Nothing’s fine,” he sniffled.
“Listen, Nothing's gonna hurt you, baby. As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine,” you said to him before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Like I said earlier, I’m right here. Just talk to me,”.
“...You’re right,” he sniffled, breaking through the mental wall he had built. “You belong in my bubble, I can’t keep you out of it,”.
“So don’t,” you said, pulling him in tighter.
“I’m scared,” he breathed out a few seconds later. “I feel guilty about everything. This game was supposed to be different. I was supposed to be different. I feel like all of this was my fault because I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was. This was my first game back and I played like absolute shit out there,”.
“Oh, Joe,” you said as your face dropped as well as your heart.
“I disappointed everyone. Most importantly, I disappointed you. Even after everything you told me last night, I couldn’t do it. Everything that could’ve gone wrong went wrong and I didn’t do anything to fix it,” he said as a few more tears fell from his eyes.
“You didn’t disappoint anyone, Joe. Nobody expected you to go out there and play like you had a completely normal year. You went through so much with this injury, obviously things weren’t going to go back to normal in one game,” you gently said. “And you could never disappoint me. I told you, I know you. The public doesn’t know you like I do so they’re going to run with whatever bullshit they want as an explanation for why the game went the way it did. I know why things went the way they did, I’m not disappointed in you at all. I’m proud of you for going out there and doing what you did today,” you said as you pressed another kiss on his forehead and moved your hand back up to his soft hair.
“I just feel like I had the shinest wheels, you know? There was so much hype and fire around me when I first got drafted, but ever since then, I’ve just disappointed everyone. It feels like the wheels are rusting. I know what everyone’s been saying, and I get it. I would say the same thing if I was in their shoes. It’s been 5 years of nothing but injuries, slow starts, and coming up short. I feel like I’m falling behind everyone, everyone keeps getting better and I feel stuck. Right now, all of my cages are mental and that’s why I’m scared. If I keep doing this, I’m wasting my potential. I’m stuck as the ‘injury prone’ and ‘wasted potential’ quarterback,” he said, the vulnerability in his voice comforting you because it meant he was letting you in.
“I haven’t done what I promised to do when I got drafted, so why should people believe me when I say that I’m built for this? Why should they believe me when I say that this year will be different? And you know what? They don’t believe me, at least not anymore and I saw that today. They see right through me. Even I see right through me,” he said.
“Can you see right through me?” he asked you, looking up into your soft eyes.
“Yes,” you nodded, his brows furrowing at your response. “Not in that way though,” you added. “I see right through you because I know you. That’s why I knew you weren’t fine the second you walked out of the locker room. Remember, the media, the fans, and the public don’t see through you, they only see the surface level because they don’t know you. They don’t truly know how hard you work, how strong you are, how much passion you really have for this. They’re going to spew whatever bullshit they want because that’s what they do. If they were in your shoes, then they would know why these things happen and the reality of the situation. They can’t see through you, I promise. And as for the not getting better, you’re crazy if you think that. I saw you in practice, your throws have never looked better. You have never looked better, all this muscle and beefiness is a part of getting better. And like I told you yesterday, you control the narrative. You don’t have to be the ‘injury-prone’ quarterback, you can change it. Deep down, you know who you are. Don’t let these trolls and interlopers define you,”.
Joe nodded as he felt his breaths steady out and his tears start to dry up. “I played scared yesterday, and I don’t know why? I thought I was ready, you know? We weren’t supposed to lose that game,”.
“I know,” you sighed. “But you’ve gone through so much these past 5 years, it’s completely normal to be hesitant and nobody should be blaming you for this. Yesterday’s loss wasn’t just on you. You’re on a team, Joe. They didn’t play perfectly either and the blame shouldn’t only fall on you. You’re a piece to the puzzle, a big piece, but not the only piece. The media always wants to pin everything on one person. One thing that I admire about you is how easily you block out the outside noise, don’t change that. Block it out like you always do,”.
“This is game 1 out of 17. Don’t let this define you and don’t let the noise get to you,” you said as you used your thumb to rub the skin underneath his eye, wiping away the wet tear trails.
Joe nodded again, taking in all of the words you were saying to him. You were right, about all of it. He was so in his head about everything and so panicked that he couldn’t use logic and sense to think clearly. This was just one bump in the road as you explained. He had 16 more games to play and 16 more opportunities to show everyone what he’s made of.
“You’re right,” he nodded. “This was one game. I can take this, learn from my mistakes, and get better,”.
“That’s exactly what I like to hear,” you smiled after hearing him work through his complicated feelings. “You’re going to get better. The team is going to get better. If you want to fix the blaring issues, do it with a calm, collected, and cool mind. You’re called ‘Joe Cool’ for a reason. Live up to that name,” you giggled. “Don’t lose your cool, don’t lose your composure over shit like this. I know you feel awful about how things went today, but one bad game doesn’t define a player and doesn’t define the entire season. Things were rough, but you always, no, you will bounce back,”.
“Thank you,” he sniffled against your chest, his brain feeling like it had just been given a nice comfy king-sized bed and cloud-like blanket to sleep in for the night. You were the only person that could make him turn his brain off and he couldn’t thank you enough. “I think I just got panicked after seeing everyone’s reactions and seeing how things looked out on the field plus everything I was feeling yesterday made it worse,”.
“Of course,” you smiled as you gave his head another kiss before holding him tighter against you. “And I get it. Sometimes it feels like the walls are caving in but that’s why it’s always important to talk to someone when you feel that way. Bottling up those feelings only makes it worse,”.
“You're 100% right, Y/N. I’m sorry about earlier,” he said while looking up into your eyes again. “That was so fucking uncalled for. And I’m sorry for raising my voice, I was a dick to you the entire night,”.
“It’s okay,” you smiled. “You were a dick, I agree,” you began to say, earning a laugh from Joe which made your heart smile, “But you’re my dick and I know how to handle you,” you smiled, then quickly furrowed your brows.
“Wait, that doesn’t sound right at all,” you slapped your hand against your mouth after realizing what that sounded like, another laugh coming from Joe’s mouth.
“I know what you mean,” he smiled. “But seriously, everything I said was straight bullshit. You mean the world to me and without you, I really think I would end up in an insane asylum. You’re the single most important thing in my life and I appreciate everything you do for me. Don’t ever leave me alone if I ask you to. Like please, I can’t live without you. Chain yourself to my wrist if you need to,”.
“Noted,” you smiled. “Just don’t freak out on me like that again, okay? You worked so hard this past year to get out of that zone, break free from that dark cloud, and I don’t want to see you back there,”.
“I promise I won’t go back there and if I ever feel like I am, you’ll be the first person I come to. I’m never going to keep you out of the bubble again,” he said as he pressed a kiss to your chest. “I love you,” he said with another kiss to your chest.
“I love you too,” you smiled down at him. “I love you like a lot a lot,” you giggled, echoing what he said to you after his wrist surgery.
“You know, sweet talking and hugs do make everything better,” he laughed as he looked up at you with his child-like smile you loved to see.
“Oh, I know,” you winked. “But you still feel pretty stiff right now. Are you sure you’re 100% okay?”.
“I think it’s just all the tension that I didn’t get to release out on the field. And I guess everything that happened after made it worse,” he grimaced.
“Ah, that makes sense,” you nod, trying to think of a way to help him get his tension out because you knew if he didn’t, he’d be whiny all night about it. “How about some hot, post-loss sex to make you feel better?” you wiggled your eyebrows and asked.
Joe’s eyes jumped up to meet yours as he was a bit taken aback by your straightforwardness. “For real?” he asked as he got up from your chest.
“Mhm, the perfect way to get the tension and aggression out,” you said while licking your lips and giving him a sultry smile.
“I love you, so fucking much,” he growled in your ears before shooting up from the couch, snaking his arms under you, lifting you up, and leading you up to the bedroom bridal style.
“At least the wrist seems to be just fine,” you giggled as he quickly ran up the stairs with you.
Not even 5 minutes later, you two were mostly naked, on the bed, and attached to each other’s lips as if you had never kissed each other before. His lips moved against yours hungrily, signaling that he was feeling that way tonight and that you should brace yourself for what was to come.
You felt him pull away from your lips and start pressing wet, sloppy kisses down your body. “I thought we were getting right to it?” you asked him as you felt his gentle lips on your belly.
“Mmm, I gotta make it up to you first, then we can get to it,” he smiled up at you.
“But I said I-,”.
“Nope. I have to make you feel good first, you deserve it,” he winked before he continued to kiss down your body. You felt him attach his lips to the skin of your inner thigh, rhythmically sucking and biting which would surely leave a mark while his hands crept up to the waistband of your lace panties. He then moved his lips to press a kiss to your clothed core before pulling your underwear down, tossing it to the side, and then flashing you a devilish grin since he saw how you were squirming around on the bed because of the undeniable ache between your thighs.
The next few minutes passed by like a blur and the next thing you knew, Joe’s head was buried deep in between your thighs and your back was arching off the bed. “Joe,” you moaned as you felt him push you back down, the expert swirl of his tongue sending jolts of pleasure throughout your body. “J- Joe,” you whispered, your head falling to the side as your eyes fluttered shut.
Joe couldn’t help but smile into you as he continued to eat you out like a starved man, the beautiful sounds coming from your mouth making his heart happy but also, his dick.
“Mmm, fuck..,” you whimpered as you gripped the silk sheets, tossing your leg over his shoulder and lightly gliding your foot along his muscular back. The sudden touch made Joe groan into your core which sent vibrations throughout your body, your heated touch feeling like fire against his cold frame.
He continued to lap at your drenched folds, all while his hands were tightly gripping your hips and massaging your plush skin. “You’re so fucking good at this,” you whispered with another loud moan following after as you felt his perfect ski-slope nose rubbing against your aching clit.
You placed a hand into his hair, softly pulling on the strands as you pushed him closer to your core and yet another moan came from your mouth. Joe lifted his head out from in between your thighs and looked up at you, “You’re extra vocal tonight,” he smirked, his lips and chin coated with your wetness.
“Shut up,” you whined before you pushed his head back down, a smile appearing on your lips when you felt him attach his lips to your bundle of nerves and flick your clit with his warm tongue. You felt yourself fading away, getting lost in the sensual supernova that was happening down below.
“...Oh my god,” you whined a few seconds later, feeling him thrust a finger into your core which pushed you closer to your orgasm even faster than before. “Don’t stop,” you said while pulling on his hair, your leg lightly wrapping around the back of his neck.
You felt him move his other hand down, his thumb resting on your clit as he rubbed slow circles around the bundle of nerves–this movement made you see stars. The combination of his thumb rubbing your clit, his finger thrusting in and out of your slick core, and his mouth going unhinged was making the imaginary band in your stomach tighten harder than it ever had before.
“I’m close,” you whimpered, your hips gently bucking at the jolt of pleasure moving through your body. “I’m..s- so…c- close,” you whimpered, this time a little louder because his thumb started moving faster around your clit. You then feel him add another finger into your core, your hips grinding against the bed as you search for any form of relief, but the only thing that could relieve you was taking his sweet time.
“Baby, please,” you begged, your eyes fluttering shut as your back arched off the bed again, his fingers rapidly thrusting in and out of your core while you felt a more extreme feeling begging to be released from inside of you. “Oh, fuck,” you moaned, the feeling about to break through in just a few seconds.
Joe curled his fingers inside of your core and moved his mouth back up to your clit, roughly attaching his mouth to the bud and sucking you in a way that he knew drove you crazy. And then just a few seconds later you dropped back down to the bed as you felt yourself tip over the edge, his name falling from your lips like some seductive chant while you came undone. “Joe!” you screamed, tightly closing your eyes and feeling your entire body shake with the force of your orgasm.
Joe looked up through his eyelashes, watching you restlessly move around and hearing breathy moans leaving your beautiful mouth as he lapped at the juices of your intense–still going–orgasm. He was slowly getting more and more worked up as he watched you come apart, knowing he was the only man who had ever seen you this vulnerable and raw and was the only man who was going to see this.
A minute later you open your eyes, your chest heaving as you recover from the intense high that washed over you, “Holy fuck,” you panted as you saw Joe smiling at you, his lips and chin completely covered in your release, his face showing that he somehow enjoyed this just as much as you did.
“Did I just-,” you asked, feeling the soaked sheets below you, as you caught your breath. Your eyebrows shoot up in amusement as you watch Joe wipe his chin with his fingers before using his tongue to lick them clean.
“Yeah,” he chuckled, “You did,”.
“Oh my god,” you said, hiding your face with your hands out of embarrassment.
Joe let out a throaty laugh before kneeling on the bed again and hovering over you, then moving your hands off of your face, “Why are you hiding,” he smiled.
“Because I just…,” you said while biting your lip, his bedroom eyes making you want to pounce on him right that second even though you also wanted to run and hide for some reason.
“What?” he said while trying to hold back his cocky smile. “Squirted?” he asked while moving your hair out of your face.
“You don’t have to say it like that…,” you said while hiding your face again.
After all this time, you still felt shy around him. He’d seen your most embarrassing moments, your best and your worst. He’d seen it all. The fact that you felt embarrassed about this little thing was adorable and another reminder that you were the most precious girl he had ever met.
“Don’t feel embarrassed, babe. It’s not the first time and it’s definitely not the last time,” he softly said while leaning down to kiss your forehead. “I think it was super hot and super sexy,”.
“Really?” you asked while peeking out at him through your fingers.
“Mhmmm. Besides, I’ve seen way worse than this. Can’t forget the time I walked in on you fingering yourself while I was away at practice,” he grinned from ear to ear, as if he was proud that he made you so worked up even when he was away from you.
“Joseph Lee,” you screamed while playfully slapping his bare chest.
“Hey, it was a great show,” he shrugged. “I can still remember the sounds,” he said while clearing his throat. “Oooh, Joe. Ohhh Joe, fuck. Joe, ah… Joey!” he moaned as he mimicked you, all while laughing because he couldn’t be serious about it.
“You know, I don’t have to offer an outlet for you to release your tension,” you shrugged as you started to get up from the bed but felt yourself being caged in by your large boyfriend.
“Ahem, I don’t think that’s how this works, baby,” he shook his head. “Once you put something on the table, you can’t take it off,”.
“Oh yeah?” you teased. “What if I do?”.
“You don’t wanna know,” he whispered in your ear before slamming his thick cock into your dripping entrance with no warning.
“Joe,” you gasped, the sudden feeling of him stretching you out and filling you up so extreme and lively.
“That’s it, baby,” he groaned as he threw his head back, his cock moving at an instantaneous pace. “That’s it…,” he said again but a little quieter while he dropped his head to the crook of your neck, the feeling of your warm walls wrapping around him so intense and special.
“Joe, fuck,” you whimpered as you felt his cock repeatedly slam into your cervix, his body moving against yours recklessly and roughly. His thrusts quickened as he moved deeper and deeper inside you, the sounds of your breathy moans getting louder with each snap of his skilled hips. He sported a euphoric look on his once-tired face, a sign that he felt relaxed and it was all to your credit.
The next few minutes were hot, steamy, and messy as he whispered filthy praise into your ear which matched the pure vulgarity that was happening between you two on the bed right now. His hard thrusts made it difficult for you to hold it together, your nails clawing at his tan back as you bit down on his shoulder and got lost under his touch. “You’re so good to me,” he moaned in your ear, his hand moving up and wrapping around your throat.
“Joe,” you struggled to moan, feeling his grip around your throat becoming a little tighter as the pleasure inside of you was rapidly building.
“Ah, fuck,” he panted as he picked his head up and cupped the back of your leg, and lifted it over his shoulder; this new position opened you up even more and made it easier for him to hit all the right spots inside of you. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whimpered, the sight of his lip in between his teeth and his thick body moving against you making your eyes roll to the back of your head.
“I’m close,” you moaned as you looked down, moaning again at the sight of his shaft rapidly moving in and out of your slick heat.
“Fuck, me…too,” he groaned, his pace getting rougher and rougher as sounds of your skin slapping against each other echoed throughout the room. “I love you,” he moaned loudly once he felt his cock start to twitch inside of you.
“Joe, fuck…please, I need to come,” you whined, his grip on your leg getting tighter.
“I know baby, I know,” he whimpered, “I’m almost there,” he added as he dropped your leg and moved his hand to the headboard, gripping it tightly as he used it as leverage to slam into you even harder. All the tension, all the aggression, it was all coming out in the most fruitful way possible. He was getting away from himself, and it was all thanks to you.
“Ah, fuck,” you screamed, feeling yourself on the brink of pleasure, stars filling your eyes as his pace remained rough and hard.
A few seconds later, you felt him shoot endless ropes of cum into your wet heat which were accompanied by another loud moan from him. “Fuck. Oh fuck,” he panted as he slowed his thrusts into you, making sure that his release stayed inside of you and that you reached your high.
“Joe, please,” you pleaded, needing to feel your high right this second.
“I’ve got you,” he said while giving you a lazy smile, his hand moving down to your clit and rubbing rapid circles around the sensitive bud as he slowed his thrusts even more. A few seconds later, you clamped down on his cock, arched your body up into him, and felt yourself let go for the second time tonight. “Oh my god,” you moaned before you felt him press gentle kisses all along your neck and eventually your face, your lips meeting in a sloppy kiss as your highs washed over you.
A few minutes later, you were both lying against the messy sheets, your head tucked into his chest as he played with your hair and once again apologized to you for how he acted earlier tonight.
“Joe, I promise, It’s okay,” you giggled. “You’ve made it up to me in more ways than one. The fact that I can’t walk right now is an apology enough,”.
“Okay, I’ll stop now,” he smiled. “Thank you for everything though. This and for everything you said earlier,”.
“No need to thank me, baby. I told you, this is my job. We’re in this together and I promise that nothing’s going to hurt you as long as you’re with me. Like I said to you back in November, I’m your protector,” you grinned.
“That you are,” he laughed, his body feeling loose and light under you for the first time all day.
“Thank god he feels better," you smiled to yourself. Joe was the most important thing in your life, having him relaxed, focused, and calm was all you wanted. He deserved all the happiness, success, and love in the world and you needed to make sure he knew that. Moments like this were going to happen all throughout his career, but they were controllable and you were a big reason as to why they were. He wasn't kidding when he said he needed you inside his bubble or he'd end up in the insane asylum. You were his safe haven, his place of tranquility, his calm in the storm.
“I love you more than anything, Joe. Everything's going to be alright, I promise,” you smiled up at him, then leaned in for another kiss before you felt him pull the sheets over you both.
“I love you too, Y/N,” he smiled as he nuzzled his nose against yours and leaned in for another kiss.
–The End–
part 2 is on the masterlist!
#joe burrow#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow fic#nfl imagine#joeburrow#joe burrow fan fic#joe burrow imagine#Spotify
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙bows before bros | LN4 ˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: lando norris x actress!reader y/n (she/her)
genre: social media au
warnings: sooo super fluffy!!
summary: in which a trail of bows leads to everyone's new fav grid couple
a/n: feel like i havent written for lando in ages so here we are!!
request!!!: I’d like to request an au for lando where y/n’s an actress who’s getting recognized more and more, she’s really humble and sweet but pretty similar to lando as a goofy and funny girly(idk why but I picture Sabrina carpenter vibes) 🎀 if u could add a little scene of some of the f1 drivers and wags reacting to their relationship/talking to the media how they’ve never seen lando so happy. Just a sappy and goofy couple living life (manifesting✨🕯️)
fc: sabrina carpenter
my masterlist

instagram ->
yourusername

liked by reneerapp, sydney_sweeney, and 301,283 others
yourusername sooo where else can i put bows? 🎀
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user1 omg the bunny is so cute im going to do that
user2 i dont wear bows in a coquette way i wear bows in an y/n y/l/n way
liked by yourusername
user3 i love seeing y/n in her movies so srs then going on her ig & it's jus this
reneerapp put them on your hand soap 🥺
yourusername you make jokes but i really will do that
user4 LOL as u should y/n!!!
user5 oh i love her
sydney_sweeney this is so real of you!!
yourusername i knew you'd get it
sydney_sweeney bows before bros ‼️
yourusername louder 🗣️
landonorris

liked by sydney_sweeney, danielricciardo, and 819,055 others
landonorris you got my heart loud.
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user6 okay simp lando?
user7 HUH????
user8 looking a LOT like a soft launch i cant lie to u
user9 thts what i was thinking.....
user10 the bows...... anyone one else thinking what im thinking?
user11 DONT EVEN SAY IT
user12 VERY y/n y/l/n coded
user13 y/n was here vibes
oscarpiastri simp simp simp
landonorris shutup pastry boy
yourusername posted a story

liked by sydney_sweeney, daisyedgarjones, and 89,541 others
user14 so cute ily y/n
user15 my spidey senses are tingling
user16 is this a hint that ur dating lando norris.
user17 feels very very targeted miss y/n
user18 our bow queen 🙇♀️
twitter ->
instagram ->
landonorris posted a story

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 159,701 others
user22 omg y/n y/l/n is ur gf fr
user23 never thought i'd see the day lando norris pulled
user24 THE BOW AND THE MCLAREN HOODIE AHHH
user25 the most y/n thing i've ever seen
danielricciardo she's made you soft
landonorris she definitely hasnt i'll tell you that much
danielricciardo right. not what i meant but great to know thank you so much
yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 661,328 others
yourusername feeling orange 🍊
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user26 oh my god
user27 is this the hard launch
mclaren your best look yet, y/n!
yourusername 🤭 feel very honoured
user28 next we want orange bows
liked by yourusername
sydney_sweeney sports 🤢 but make it girly 🎀
yourusername me with everything
landonorris it's papaya y/n we've been over this
yourusername there isnt a papaya emoji ✨🎀💕🫶🍊
user29 omg they're first public interaction...?
user30 they're in love i called it.
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landonorris posted a story

liked by lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 157,814 others
user36 omg lol
user37 THAT'S Y/N'S CAT
user38 lol at ur response to ur friends saying ur obsessed with a girl is to post her cat on ur story with bows on
sydney_sweeney one of us now
landonorris this feels like a cult
user39 the coquettification of lando norris
user40 the y/nification of lando norris
landonorris

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,091,727 others
landonorris my response to everyone talking about me recently is you would be the same if you bagged a girl like mine
tagged: yourusername
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user41 A GIRL LIKE MINEEEEE
user42 how did he do it
lilymhe congratulations 🥂
carlossainz55 yippee!!
oscarpiastri we are all beyond proud of you lando
danielricciardo good for you bro
charles_leclerc happy for you
mclaren our fav girl!!
yourusername 🤭🧡
user43 all the celebrations in the comments 💀
user44 they had no faith in him fr
yourusername blushing and giggling at this!!! i love my lil lando!!!!!
landonorris you what?
yourusername i wont be taking questions at this time
landonorris you love me so bad
landonorris i love you so bad
THE END 🧡
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 smau#f1 fic#f1 x reader#smau#f1 imagine#lando norris#ln4#ln4 x y/n#ln4 smau#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 x reader#ln4 x you#maddie's smau
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Someone Precious II
Caleb x Non MC Reader
a/n: seeing all of you guys really like the first part defo made me feel all warm and giggly! so thank you for all of your lovely comments! also i am not well versed in the realm of medicine/hospitals and stuff so please bear with me as i write the scenes dealing with those, i most likely will briefly touch on those and not go into too much detail. also i finally got a desk and a monitor so now i can do all my writing in comfort rather than hunched over on my bed! Also this part doesn't really have much Caleb unless you include reader thinking about him. another side note, this part will be short but i will write more for the other parts, i just needed this one to be on its own focusing on the pregnancy a bit so that in the other parts i can focus on the relationships with MC, Caleb etc.
also i dont think i mentioned this in my previous part but ill make sure to add it to my masterlist description, the setting of this series will be taking place in a world where ever, evols and wanderers do not exist. some aspects of the characters and how they met have been tweaked to fit with the plot, so pls dont come at me if something isnt how you remember it in the game.
Divider creds @/cafekitsune
tags: angst, hurt/comfort, reader is female and is AFAB, pregnancy,
word count: 1.7k
masterlist
series masterlist
taglist: @aneertawrites @eurydiceknowshesloved @angelichiaro @nommingonfood @ynovaes @animegamerfox @melonssoup @iamawkwardandshy @novthirty @rosevelt632 @sleepless-cloudy @justpassingdontworry @sleepykittyenergy @ijustwannabeyourmuse @iiyumii @eolivy @asakiyu

You sat there numb, your thoughts were a broken record.
'I'm pregnant.'
That's all your brain could handle at the moment. MC sat next to you in silence, rubbing a soothing hand on your back,
She knew that right now what you needed was comfort through gestures and not words, so she just waited patiently until you were ready to say something.
No matter what decision you made, she was ready to support you.
●・○・●・○・●・
A couple of hours had passed, you still hadn't spoken up but you had moved to lie in your bed.
MC had gone out to get some lunch, which left you alone with your thougthts.
If there was one thing you had come to a conclusion for, it was that you were going to keep the baby.
Call it a motherly instinct, but you didn't have the heart to abandon an innocent soul.
It wasn't long before MC came back, calling you to come to the dining room. She had gotten your favourite takeaway hoping that it would cheer you up a little bit, and it did.
You smiled as you helped her set the table. As you guys were unpacking the food you decided to finally tell her what was going through your head.
"I'm going to keep the baby. I don't want to abandon an innocent soul and I've always wanted a child, it just didn't happen the way I would have hoped."
You said with a sad smile as you placed a hand on your stomach.
You had dreamed of having a family, more specifically with Caleb. In a way you got your wish, but it felt like fate was cruel for granting it the way they did.
You're still young, you don't even know if you'll even be a good mother. But there's one thing for sure, you have the best possible support system you could ever ask for.
MC's smile mirrored your own.
Dinner was spent in silence, it was comfortable. MC didn't push you for a conversation and you were grateful for that.
●・○・●・○・●・
It had been a week since the news, and now you were here standing in front of Akso Hospital.
You were feeling nervous, a part of you felt like you would be judged for the reason of your visit, but you knew that was just the anxiety talking.
Taking a deep breath you walked in, it was now or never.
The nurse at the reception desk was sweet, her tone and gaze held no judgement as she guided me to the examination room.
You got settled and just laid there staring at the ceiling, you tried to keep your thoughts positive and light, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Caleb.
What it would be like to have him here with you. Would he reassure you? Would he be as nervous as you are?
All these 'what ifs' that'll never become a reality. You could only hope that you could be enough for your child.
●・○・●・○・●・
Your appointment confirmed exactly what those pregnancy tests said, you were six weeks pregnant.
You knew Caleb was the father. He was your first, and honestly your last.
At this moment in time your heart didn't have the ability to love another. He was everything you wanted in a man.
Maybe I should re-evaluate what a man is.
You thought bitterly, but you chided yourself just as quickly as that thought came.
You didn't want to think of him that way or think negatively at all, not wanting those feelings to affect your health and bring any complications for your child.
"It's ok my baby, mommy and Aunty MC will make sure you never feel insecure about not having a father."
Your words were not only to comfort your child, but also to comfort yourself.
●・○・●・○・●・
6 weeks later
You were back at Akso Hospital again, this time it was for a follow up appointment.
MC had taken time off work to come with you this time, saying how it's part of her aunty duties.
It was cute, and it never failed to put a smile on your face when she would talk excitedly about all the things she would do with her future niece or nephew.
You had assumed this check up would be the same as the first one, just a normal procedure to make sure that the baby and mum are doing ok.
Boy were you in for a treat.
As your doctor moved the wand around your growing belly you noticed something on the screen that you didn't see last time.
"Congratulations! It seems you'll be having twins."
MC let out the loudest squeal known to man at the news, you could practically feel her excitement radiating off of her.
You matched her energy with a smile on your face.
I guess my little family just grew by one.
You thought to yourself.
"Would you guys like to know the gender or do you want to keep it a surprise?"
Your doctor asked. You personally wanted to keep it as a surprise because you could already see the gears turning in MC's head.
You knew exactly what she was planning and in all honesty, you wanted to let her have her way.
She was your rock and sole supporter through all of this, you would feel bad if you didn't let her do what she wanted.
"I'd like for it to be kept a secret but by all means let her know, I can tell she's dying of curiosity."
You let out a soft laugh, your doctor cleaned up the gel and helped you up.
MC gave you a big hug before you made your way outside.
It didn't take long before MC came skipping out the room, her smile was so bright you thought you might go blind.
That night MC treated you to dinner and insane amount of sweets, which totally satiated the cravings you were having.
●・○・●・○・●・
6 months later
You were in your final trimester, it was a relatively easy going pregnancy, if you ignore the fact that you feel like a walking balloon.
Most of your days were spent in bed as the weight of your stomach made it hard to move around too much.
It was times like these that it made you think of Caleb. Even though you had promised yourself that you wouldn't, but at the end of the day you were still madly in love with a man who ghosted you after your first time.
Crazy isn't it? Your heart was a fool in love while your brain tried to be the rational one, but every now and then you would give in to the thoughts of what would have happened if he didn't run off.
Would he be here helping you through all of this? If he were to come back, how would you confront him?
You could only pray that he didn't show up in front of you any time soon, because the moment he did you would give him a beating of a lifetime.
Your due date was somewhat nearby but not close enough yet. You had your hospital bag packed and a baby carrier all ready to go right by the door. That way you and MC wouldn't be scrambling around last minute trying to find everything.
You were feeling nervous, you didn't know what the delivery would be like and you worried for your babies, wondering if you could make up for the lack of father figure they would have in their life.
You had taken a look at the time and had noticed it was quite late and MC had yet to come back from work. Just as you were about to give her a call, you heard the sound of the door being unlocked.
MC walked in holding a multitude of things, the most obvious one being balloons that read Boy or Girl?
"Surprise!"
MC exclaims, you don't know if it was just you or the hormones but you started bawling. The love that you felt was immense, no words could explain it.
You waddled over to MC to help her but she waved you off and told you to take a seat on the couch as she set things up.
You waddled back to the couch and settled in to the cushions as MC worked quick with her set up.
As soon as she was done she set up her phone so that it would capture the background and us.
"We're gonna do this trend I saw on social media, so just follow my lead."
MC gave a brief explanation and you nodded in understanding.
"Hi I'm your Aunt MC and I think you guys are gonna be two beautiful baby girls."
You giggled, you knew that she already knew the genders but thought it was cute that she wanted to at least pretend that she didn't know.
"Hi my babies, I'm your mommy and I think you guys will be beautiful boy and girl."
You always wanted a daughter and a son, but you also would be happy with either gender as long as they were healthy.
"Okay, now we're gonna do the gender reveal. Take this glass and close your eyes, on the count of three we'll push it into the cakes and see what the genders are."
MC pushed one cake towards you and placed the other one in front of her.
Following her instructions, you placed the glass over the cake and closed your eyes.
"One, two, three!"
You brought the glass down and prayed you actually got some cake in there and not just frosting.
"Ok open your eyes!"
You could hear the smile in her voice.
You opened your eyes and looked at your glass and then MC's, they were both blue.
You pulled MC into a hug, you don't know if it was the hormones or the situation but you started crying, they were happy tears.
You felt so happy that you had such an amazing friend by your side, you didn't even wanna think what life would've been like if she wasn't in it.
In the midst of all the emotions and excitement you didn't notice the seat under you getting wet until you started to feel like you may have peed your pants.
You pulled back from MC and said,
"I think my water just broke."
#love and deepspace#。 🎀 𝓏𝓏 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓈 🎀 。#caleb x reader#lnds caleb#lads caleb#lnds#caleb#love and deepspace caleb#caleb lads#xia yizhou#caleb love and deepspace#caleb xia#non mc reader#love and deepspace angst#l&ds masterlist#LADS masterlist#love and deepspace masterlist#love & deepspace#masterlist#x reader
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