#which is why they didnt take too much time in the research
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Oh hey speaking of gubby I found this fic and thought of you https://archiveofourown.org/works/44086743 It’s kinda meh? Author has wiggle room to grow and do research next time but it is gubby!
this was actually written by someone i know!! you can see me in the comments and i did rag on them a little in call for the inconsistencies in escape rooms do not fear
#cats asks#gubby#i do reccomend this fic if you care for characters more than setting#which i personally do#which is why they didnt take too much time in the research#cos it was written for me :3 and they were like ok character moments first settings later#im so glad im the gubby connosieur now
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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someone who is good at reading too much into nothing pls analyze my dream
#i had this weird dream where i was looking for an apartment like always and i went to this one that i guess was a townhouse#but it was a whole house but it was attached like an apartment and had a hallway and everything but i went the first time#to see it and i was like holy shit bc it had 4 bedrooms and it was literally like 4000 square feet and it was 1300 a month#and i was like well yeah of course i want this but the vibe feels so off ? but idk why so i went to some others and whatever but#i was like it's stupid not to take that one when it is literally bigger than a house and so i went to see it again#and i was like the vibe is still so off but it's such a nice place :( so anyway i kept walking around and i was leaving and there were#other people there touring it too and i was like does anyone hear that ? and the realtor was like yeah it's the downstairs neighbors again#theyre always fighting and it was literally 2 people screaming their lungs out at each other but she didnt care she just started stomping#and i was like girl i do not think that's how you solve that but ok. then i was like wow it's like my old haunted apartment irl where#my neighbors would quite literally throw each other into the walls at 3am and then i was like omg that's why the vibe feels off#and then i remembered i had researched the place and found out two little girls died there and i was like ok yeah. i dont want this#so i kept walking to find the exit and then i saw 2 little girls ! climbing up the stairs and like flickering in and out of the light#like movie ghosts and i was like OMG there they are and they were talking to me and i was like How is no one else seeing this but#they were talking to ME directly and i was like pls stop talking to me like i was so scared and what they were saying to me was like#we're yours now like we're staying with YOU and then they walked up the stairs and out the door#and i was like oh great now i have ghosts attached to me and i was sooooo scared i dont even know why and then i went outside#and i was talking to these two people i had met inside the place and i was suspicious so i was like where are you from ?#like what country ? bc i figured no one who was a ghost could answer that for some reason lmaooo and they couldnt answer and i#was like yeah i knew it youre ghosts and they were like yeah we are and so i was like What the fuck is going on then i remembered the girls#and i was like where did they even go#anyway then i went back home to wherever i was living and surprise surprise the ghost girls were there and i was like i literally#cannot do this and i was so scared again and like they were just normal little girls but i was so scared and anyway they were like#you have to help us find out who killed us and then we can leave you like ok how very ghost whisperer but i was like ok i will help you#and then i remembered if i help them then i will get to see one person i know who died. which i guess was just a rule or something.#and then i was like oh yeah my husband died. if i help them then i can see him again#then anyway i had to leave bc work was calling me and then i got in my dead husbands incredibly small car which i couldnt even see out of#it was so small and then i was driving on the pch ? and there was so much traffic and i had to make a u turn and i fell off a cliff. the en#the thing that's so strange about it is how scared i was like irl i was breathing so hard when i woke up and literally had goosebumps like#idk i feel like it was a warning but for what lmao#i did go look at apartments this weekend and i did find one that is fine but it's not haunted at all the vibe was nothing u know
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Nymph!Reader x Sumeru!Men
Gn!reader, you're a nymph
How would the sumeru men react to finding you and your grotto
I still have no idea what I'm doing
I've never written for Cyno, Alhaitem or Scara so forgive me if something is out of character
Cyno
He's patrolling the desert. There have been lots of cave-ins in the area recently and he wants to figure out if there is a specific cause that he can solve or if he should just warn people about the area
As he walks, he feels the sand beneath his feet begin to fall and he tries to jump away but it's too sudden and he falls
He braces for impact but lands into a net of vines that gently lower him to the ground
Your standing next to him, arm extended with the sunlight on your back, looking gorgeous and radiant, then you speak
"I can't be-leaf someone fell into here. Water you doing here?"
Archons, he might have fallen in love with you at that moment
He asks you about the recent cave in and you tell him it the Wenut mating season, and they're all trying to make burrows for their young. An inexperienced male has been digging here but didn't dig deep enough, which is why there are so many cave-ins. You tell him to just wait a month or two for the season to end
The hole is fairly deep and so you build him a ladder out of vines and he promises to return
After reporting what happened with the cave-ins, he returns and finds you've been repairing your grotto in the mean time, removing the dirt and stones that fell
You're very excited to see him and take him deeper into your grotto, further underground
It's beautiful, with purple, white and yellow flowers illuminating the area. Glowing stones are scattered in the ceiling like stars
He makes a regular habit to visit you and introduces you to Tighnari pretty soon (but he doesn't visit much due to his incompatibility with the heat). You all like to have Genius Innovation TCG together (Cyno teaches you and gives you cards)
He finds himself falling asleep in your grotto, surrounded by the glowing flowers and flowing water
He has to stop visiting for a few months due to work, but tries to wrap it up as fast can to see you
When be returns, he finds your grotto has been severely damaged, much of the flora dying. He searches high and low for you, going to the deepest part of the grotto where rocks fall away and reveal a very weakened you
You tell him people found out about your grotto and stole as many of your rare plants as they could, weakening you greatly and you had to hide yourself and your remaining plants away
He's furious and immediately takes action
He works with Tighnari and Lesser Lord Kusanali to make you and your grotto a protected space
And though he can't punish the researchers for over-foraging (since you and your grotto weren't legally protected), he does let other researchers know of their actions, resulting in those researchers being shunned
He helps you and your grotto return to full health and always tries to visit once a week to 'keep away any trouble makers" (but he just wants to visit you)
You both often fall asleep together in the deepest part of the grotto, happy in each other's presence
Alhaithem
He was looking through the old archives. The scrolls and books here were no longer scientifically accurate, but were kept for record purposes
He's found an old book about mythical creatures of Sumeru: Aranara, Nymphs, Djinn, Rocs, and more. He decided to rent it out and give it a read
Reading it at his house wasn't an option as it would be too loud (Kaveh, whom he didnt feel like dealing with today), the Academia students and researchers were always bothering him if he was around (especially after the 'hero' title), so he decided to leave the city for a bit.
As he walked, he found a small cave and decided to read there
Inside was larger than he expected, with a small moss-covered shrine and little yellow flowers. He sat on one of the rocks to read
It was wonderfully calm and quiet. The right temperature, the trickle of water from a nearby stream, the rustle of the leaves... it was all perfect
So, he came back here again and again, reading his books late into the evenings
He was in the middle of his mythical creatures book, on Nymphs, when he felt a presence and immediately looked for it
You sat on the shrine, staring at him, head tilted in wonder
He looked between his book and its description of Nymphs and you... and it seems he found a mythical creature. Regardless, he continued to read and you continued to watch him
Eventually, he turned to you and asked why you were just staring at him, to which you shrugged and said "If a man were to walk in your yard everyday and read, doing nothing else at all, wouldn't you grow curious?"
He was mostly surprised by the fact you could respond. The book said that Nymph's were shy creatures who couldn't talk
But to you, this man had been a regular visitor to your grotto for months now. His scent was just part of your grotto, like the duskbirds and rishboland tigers. He wasn't a stranger at all
Alhaithem decided to ask you a few questions about Nymphs which you agreeably answered, even showing in the deeper parts of the grotto that he hadn't noticed were there
You both fell into a comfortable routine of him visiting you on his days off to read in comfortable silence while you worked on your grotto
Despite being able to talk in every language he could, he realized you couldn't read at all
He helped you learn how to read and you helped him relax and have the perfect reading spot
You became reading buddies, and even though you would ask him with question on words, it never bothered or annoyed him
He subtly made your grotto a legally protected area so if anyone messed with it, they would have to pay
You were his safe space, and in return, he would protect you too
Scara/Wanderer
Nahida asked him to go outside and touch grass more
Just kidding, she asked him to find a rare flower, only ever found underground in rare Nymph Gardens
She gave him a rough idea where he might be able to find it and off he went, grumbling the whole way
Finding the entrance to the cave wasn't hard. All he had to do then was follow the smell of fresh flowers. It was so simple for him (and most certainly didn't take him several days)
When he finally found your grotto, he couldn't find the flower Nahida had described for him and grumbled under his breath about it
This is where you come in: appearing next to his shoulder asking about what flower he was exactly talking about
You stare at him innocently even as he hold a swirl ball of anemo energy
You ask again and he asks who you are, cautious
"I'm the nymph of this grotto"
That can't be possible, Nymphs aren't real, surely you're pulling his leg
But you have flowers growing on you, the plants lean towards where you step and life seems to exude from you
He'll dispell his anemo attack and tell you about the flower. You nod and scoop it up a bit of dirt and grow the flower on it
He's wondering if there's a cost to it. You tell him it'll hurt you when he leaves with it. He asks what he owes you and you shrug and walk away to play with the springyness of a new fern
He brings the flower to Nahida then rushes back. Not because he's worried! He's just curious about the affects of removing the flower from your grotto (Nahida gives him a knowing smile as he leaves)
When he arrives, you're laying on the ground, looking unwell. He puts his hand to your forehead, and you're burning up
Why would you give the flower to him if it would hurt you so much?
"Because you needed it," you say with a smile
He'll take care of you for the next few days, your waking hours being filled with scolding and mild insults about how stupid it was to give all thay power to a stranger. What if they wanted to take advantage of you?
You laugh and smile. When he's not paying attention, you'll make little figurines out of flower of him
Then he'll notice and scold you for not resting properly, idiot (he does think it's very cute though)
He'll protest even when you insist you are perfectly healthy again
You'll take him to the deepest part of the grotto where you made a picture of the two of you in glowing flowers. He says it looks stupid, but you notice his little blush and giggle
He has to leave for a few days and during that time, treasure hoarders find your grotto
They have no respect for your plants, so you hide, slowly growing weaker and weaker as they pick and burn your plants
Needless to say, when Scara returns and sees you hanging on by a thread, he's pissed
He wipes them out and tends to you once again. It takes months this time until you are healthy, but he's by your side every step of the way
"Clearly, you can't take care of yourself, so I'll have to watch out for you! Hey! Don't giggle! What's so funny, idiot?"
#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin impact x reader#alhaithem#Alhaithem x reader#al haitam x reader#al haithem#cyno#cyno genshin impact#genshin cyno#cyno x reader#cyno x you#scaramouche#genshin scara#scaramouche genshin impact#wanderer#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x you#wanderer x you#wanderer x reader
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ZENDAYA EATING A PIZZA!
TOUGH LOVE RANT!
Hi now that I’ve got your attention
I’m going to yell at you
Cuz I love you but y’all killing me with this
“I have the urge to move”
Or my favorite
“I didn’t get symptoms”
Mmmm this one is ultimate favorite
“How do I enter the void?”
😃
Sweetie what do you think my posts are about???
How to find the tooth fairy?
Please stop asking me that when it’s literally in ALL MY POSTS
I literally got blocked cuz I was asked over and over again
By someone I thought was a friend
How to get in the void
I told her
It’s in my posts
Read my posts
I guess she didn’t wanna do that
All you’re doing is meditating
Yall act like you have to clean a whole warehouse or work a 10am to 2am shift!
Like it’s giving
“Omg I have to lay still and affirm and breathe and actually be relaxed and ignore the 3D which I hate anyways and leave this physical plane to go to my 4D which is pretty much me in my most powerful and purest state to gain peace and comfort and manifest my desires because I was born to do this and then wake up with my desires because it’s literally so easy ugh that’s too much it’s soo hard!!
SOME OF YALL ARE GIVING THAT EXACT ENERGY
Im not comparing trauma or anything everything you’re going through is valid
But somebody is probably going through something so horrible
And they don’t know about the void state or manifestation in general!
YET YOU DO!!
Because guys I love you but you’re all asking the same thing over and over and over again
It’s driving me insane
Every post I make is about the void
What it is and how to get in
If my account was about making bagels
Would you ask me
“Do you make bagels?”
You see what I mean?
I love you so much but stop asking the same thing
And I made a post on boundaries
Still had someone asking me to enter the void for them
How am I gonna take time out of MY DAY
To enter the void for someone with the SAME POWER AS ME!!!!
That’s like helping a genius with his homework
You already know how to do it tf you asking me for????
😐
Bro
What do you think the void is???????
It’s not Disneyland
It’s not your mamas house
It’s not a Beyoncé concert
STOP TREATING IT LIKE ITS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING EVER OR THAT ITS OUT OF REACH OR OH I ONLY GET IN IF IM LUCKY
IT IS LITERALLY NOT!!!
There’s is no luck when it comes to the void
I’m not gonna keep repeating myself
Everyone on here keeps telling yall the same things
Yet you still ask
How to enter
Or
Complaining about not having symptoms
BECAUSE YOU GOT USED TO IT THATS WHY YOU HAVE NO SYMPTOMS ANYMORE AND EVEN IF YOU DO IDC IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR WHOLE BODY IS BEING DRAGGED ACROSS THE MF ROOM IGNORE IT YOUR SYMPTOMS IS APART OF THE 3D REALITY
WHY?
BECAUSE THEY ARE APART OF YOUR BODY AND YOUR BODY IS PHYSICAL THIS WHOLE REALITY IS PHYSICAL THERES NO POWER HERE YOU ARE THE 4D!!!!
THATS WHERE THE POWER IS AND ITS POWERFUL BECAUSE OF YOU
ITS ALWAYS BEEN YOU AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOU YOU HOLD THE POWER YOU ARE THE REASON WHY YOU EITHER ENTERED OR HAVENT BECAUSE ITS BASED ON YOUR ASSUMPTIONS
THE 3D IS A PHYSICAL REFLECTION OF YOU
YOU DONT LIKE IT RIGHT???????
OK MEDITATE
How???
BITCH JUST LAY THERE FOCUS ON YOUR BREATHING AND YOUR PEACE
AT THIS POINT SAY
FUCK MY DESIRES IMMA GET THEM ANYWAYS
IF YOUR ONLY GOAL FOR THE VOID IS TO MANIFEST YOUR DESIRES
YOU’RE GONNA GET IN ANYWAY BUT YOUR GOAL SHOULD INCREASE WITH EVERY STEP
WHEN YOU LAY DOWN FOCUS ON JUST FINDING PEACE AND CONNECTING WITH YOUR SELF DEEPLY FUCK THOSE SYMPTOMS FUCK ANY 3D REACTIONS IF YOU GET NO SYMPTOMS EVEN BETTER NOTHING TO DISTRACT YOU
IF YOU GET SLEEPY KEEP AFFIRMING YOU’LL WAKE UP IN THE VOID
DIDNT WORK?
DO IT AGAIN
“But I’m_(excuses)”
NOPE
DO IT AGAIN THIS IS FOR YOU NOT JUST YOUR DESIRES BUT YOU ARE GOING HOME TO GET THE PEACE YOU DESERVE
THE 4D IS YOUR HOME ITS CALLING YOU!!
YOU CREATED IT THE UNIVERSE TRYNA LET YOU KNOW WHOS BOSS
THAT BOSS IS YOU
SO LIKE A BOSS
GO TO WORK
GET WHAT YOU DESERVE
STOP COMPLAINING STOP RESEARCHING GET OFF OF HERE NOW!!
AND STOP USING ME AS YOUR VOID COACH I MAKE POSTS TO INSPIRE I RESPOND TO DMS FOR ASKS THAT I HAVENT ALREADY COVERED IF YOU NEED A QUESTION READ MY POSTS BEFORE YOU ASK
Not to be rude but you might get blocked if you ask
“How to enter the void?”
Bro
ALL MY POSTS TALK ABOUT THAT
Quit overcomplicating
You made the void
It exists because of you
Put YOURSELF on a pedestal not anything or anyone
Sometimes I feel like yall just use me and other blogs on here to get info on something we already talked about on our posts
Just for you to get mad when we get fed up with repetitive questions
BLOCK ME THEN BUT IM NOT ABOUT TO BABY YOU IM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH THE POWER LIES WITHIN YOU GIRLIE
READ BEFORE YOU ASK BABY
If this still doesn’t help you
Idk what else to say
I love you much love 🩵
#law of assumption#law of attraction#void state#law of manifestation#manifesting#manifesation#subliminals#loassblog#loassumption#void#manifesting affirm and persist#meditating#guided meditation#motivation#meditation#robotically affirming#reality shift#desired reality#loa tumblr#loablr#loa success#desired life#loa blog#getyourdreamlife#law of the universe#dream life#affirm and persist
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but what if i ask really nicely for more into on brain injury sean au
then i suppose…IF YOU INSIST…i might be compelled…
-first things first in this au sean has to change where EXACTLY he was walking on the ground on rhodes to alter where the bullet goes. one tiny half-step to the right when he turns, along with the shooter aiming just that tiny bit higher, and he gets shot through the skull, but survives.
now im not going to go into a lot of detail about where the bullet is in the brain and why he is reacting like this etc etc because even after research i dont know the ins and outs of it, so we’ll focus a lot more on his behaviour.
-so after the position of the shot is altered, they all expect him to be dead. miraculously, he is still alive on the floor of rhodes, but heavily unconscious. he is unconscious for two and a half weeks after they try their best to heal him. poor leopold strauss was NOT about to do any brain surgery and the bullet had to be left there. when he actually woke up, everyone was relieved and crowding him. however, he didnt say a word, he barely looked at them. he just laid where he was, staring, until they started to help him up and try to speak to him. within a few days, he had healed to his limit, meaning he could walk and start to move very uncoordinated.
-sean mumbles a lot unintelligibly to no one in particular. he doesnt speak intelligibly or respond when he’s spoken too, he doesnt even know someone is speaking to him. he opens his mouth when they try to feed him but wont make a single effort to feed himself as if he doesnt know how too. sometimes he can refuse to chew if he doesnt like the texture or taste, which is very often. he chews and swallows to fast, and it causes worry he will choke himself. he can technically walk but will not unless someone is actively moving him from one spot to another, so he has no urges to take care of himself and would spend all his time staring and mumbling if alone. he does sometimes reach his arms up to push at the people around him (not hard at all) but this pretty much means nothing, it doesnt mean he wants them to leave or is showing any sort of affection. when he gets angry suddenly, which can be often, he yells and hits (not very well) the people around him trying to calm him down. he can be calmed by having his face stroked, interestingly he doesnt care who does it. he cries too, when his mouth is being burnt by the food or he is just uncomfortable, like after an accident in which no one has tried to help him. when he cries, it can either be just completely silent tears like he doesnt know hes crying, or it can be accompanied by wailing.
-he also clenches his fists, pushes things in front of him around, pulls his own or others hair, kicks the dirt under him and chews when theres nothing in his mouth absentmindedly.
-of course, the gang are not caregivers. theyre murderers, outlaws or just very uneducated people. they try their best to take care of him for the first week after he wakes up, but sean has multiple accidents because no one tries to help him with ‘using the bathroom’ (well not really using a bathroom because theyre in the woods but yk what i mean). they have things they need to do and a lot of their plates are full even without sean, no one particularly WANTS to care for him, as awful as it may seem. they become easily frustrated at the complete lack of cooperation from him, even if it isnt his fault. they also become angry at each other around the whole situation.
-when sean gets upset or ignored in someone elses care, they rush to blame and berate each other about it. but the big elephant in the room is they do not want to be his caregiver, no one does. karen tried her best, but got quickly frustrated and angry at him, causing him to cry when yelled at (this was because it was a loud noise close to him, absolutely nothing to do with what she was saying). lenny got angry at her, and took over, only for find himself incredibly tired and frustrated within a few hours. despite being his partners/ex-partners, they feel helpless with him. they dont know why hes upset or what he wants most of the time, which means they cant help him. after a few days of lenny trying to help sean, prevent accidents, watch over him, cleaning him up, he actually walked out of camp. he spent a few days alone in the quiet because he genuinely couldn’t stand the camp or caring for sean anymore.
-he loved sean so much, but he couldnt stand the mumbling and the whining and the constant taps and hits. it was overwhelming, and he realised he couldnt do it. he couldn’t be his caregiver, he knew karen couldnt, he knew the women of the camp couldnt because they simply didnt know how too and got frustrated too. the men of the camp would never…so who? thats when he started to realise, along with everyone else, sean could not stay with them like this.
-so where would he go? that was the conversation, with many different arguments. only a few argued they could keep sean, but they were easily persuaded to change their minds. there was unfair suggestions, like dumping him on the side of the road. that was from micah, and he had the support of john, uncle and bill. eventually they decided he needed to be taken to an asylum or left at a state hospital, as sending him somewhere he’d be actually looked after was expensive and not guaranteed. micah had also suggested putting him down but was thankfully denied.
-lenny debating leaving with sean, becoming his caregiver, and he was really going to do it, until he actually cared for sean again for the next day and could barely leave him for a second. when he finally napped, lenny realised he himself had barely eaten, he hadnt touched his books, done his hair, or had any time for himself since he’d disappeared. god he wanted to care for sean but he just couldnt. the vision of their cottage he made up, where he cared for sean happily…while actually being happy…was unrealistic he realised. he’d always be angry and bored, and couldnt trust himself not to run away. he loved sean, he really did, he still wanted to cup his face and hold him close, but he couldn’t. a vital part of their previous relationship was dead with seans condition, and the rest was dying. sean didnt even recognise lenny, or any of them. he knew that for a fact because micah had bothered sean to get under his skin, sitting near him and trying to get his attention, and sean didnt react.
-the day before arthur was going to take him to a state hospital, their attitudes towards him changed. they had less frustration, more motivation, because they knew it was the last time theyd see and care for him. it made them feel a little uneasy when they thought of where he’d end up, with lenny feeling the worst about it. he still debated taking him and leaving the gang, but he knew he couldnt. he knew it would be the end of his life, his freedom, if he tried to care for him alone. but god the whole thing was killing him.
-they fed sean peaches, which he actually almost seemed to enjoy. he didnt spit anything out, though still lightly hit whoever was feeding him. he had no accidents that day, and napped mostly. he sat with the girls while they tidied him up, and spoke to him (with no response back). lenny read to him, even if he showed absolutely no interest and stared away from him. that night, they had a goodbye party and all actually paid attention to him, yes, dealing with him was easy that day, but that was because he was their main focus when normally he is not.
-ok lets end on a fluffy note where he sits with arthur and ‘watches’ his sketch. he enjoys the sound of the pencil against the pages, and seems to be almost smiling. they think he likes the sound of javier’s guitar, as he plays him a song. bill tries to give him whisky but is told no, but they do laugh when he tries too. lenny puts his arm around him and shifts his position so sean is cuddling into him. he falls asleep like that.
-he wakes the next day being kissed goodbye on the forehead by the girls as hes placed into the wagon. lenny sits in the back with him, holding him close. karen could barely bring herself to say goodbye. hosea and arthur drive, with hosea telling stories about sean when he first joined, especially his favourite, where sean got caught cheating at cards and stormed off to his bedroll. they had to lure him out and convince him to play again, and they promised to actually teach him how to play (as arthur had lied multiple times to him about the rules so he could win, poor sean didnt even know he was cheating.)
-they then arrive at the hospital, in ‘desperate need of aid as their friend has a bullet trapped in his head’.
#ask#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption two#red dead fandom#sean macguire#sean rdr2#lenny summers#arthur morgan#macsummers#im sorry.#i am sorry for this#sean macguire brain damaged au
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After five months of planning out how I'd make Goat's toww looked like ,,, unable to decide if i wanted to make it either narinder or shamura ,,, i settled down with using shamura but w a lil twist (being referred to as the one who wilts) :-D seeing as theyre the god of war & wisdom , it sorta gave me the two conflicting ideas for them;; two crowns for two vessels, and instead of being chained by the bishops they actually killed them and were sentenced to above (or purgatory) for their crimes!! Especially against *the* bishops of death, famine, pestillence, and chaos ,,
I like to believe their mechanic works a bit like this; they have a chain directly in their head, which leads up all the way to the catacombs far more above than purgatory, being able to walk and sit down anywhere- just with the "why does my head ache so much" because they physically are unable to pull that sword out! (And if they did, then that would kill them ,, especially now considering theyve given power to both goat & ram they are weaker than before)
Speaking of goat & ram— ram was three years old when she died, goat was nineteen and still holding onto baby ram ,, he had to go through trial and error cuz Areem (another bishop of war! Except hes more of a "time and precision" bishop) didn't even want both of them as vessels 😭
Yeah,,,, yeah theyre Kind Of Rude to both of them
Feeling a little guilty about their attitude towards the two,, they give them both a chance to train to be their vessels (as shamura themself wasnt really all that desperate to have any vessel of theirs to begin with ,,, hence the unneccesary training that the two didnt know was unneeded ,, shamura just needed a friend to talk to without Directly saying it)
After three years of constant sparring and researching of wisdom across the faith, shamura gives them both two different options;; to either spar for either crown or take a test. Obviously ram didnt want to take a test, but goat did- he was worried about ram getting a crown of war at six years old compared to him (who was now 22) ,,, shamura makes them both spar and in the end , Ram is the one holding a spear to Goats throat, and Goat lost the sparring because he was distracted with his emotions & logistics ,,, Shamura gladly gave ram the crown of war and then rolled their eyes when giving goat the crown of wisdom FJSJFJSKFNS
Though they're more dismissive towards goat
maybe a bit too dismissive! Anywhom,
For them to be indoctrinated theyd actually would have to like. Get that chain out their head—killing them—then dropping their purple robes , making it easier for goat and ram to resurrect them + giving them no choice to get indoctrinated into their cult
Theyre basically the reason why goat's au is called "regretful war & regretful wisdom" :-] as much as they didnt want any vessels to begin with , there was a major weight of stress off their shoulders ,,, as well as being indoctrinated into the cult ,, with goat leaving to lambs world it sorta just leaves ram & Shamura left (ram hates shamura now . Their one sided parent daughter relationship is So Sad)
#sydneys doodles#cotl#cult of the lamb#cotl au#shamura#the goat#goat#the ram#ram#regretful war & regretful wisdom#The orange panels are my favorite actually! I think shamura looks pretty :-) younger goat & baby ram are also so silly Sniffles#cw blood#cw eye trauma#I think ill make another post for shamura and explaining a few hcs cuz i didnt mention they actually have a lazy eye too in follower form !#rw&rw au refs
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the only exception ~ tom kaulitz
background: you and Tom had been hooking up for a while now, probably close to around half a year. you had a big crush on him but were very aware that he didn’t do relationships, so even though you were ‘physically’ with him, you never let yourself get super emotionally attached. Tom couldn’t say the same for himself, though. He wanted you, and only you.
warnings: nothing much just kissing and swearing lol
a/n~ sorry for being m.I.a!! I had to visit my dad in serbia and it sucked because I hate my dad and he hates me lolllll speaking of I wrote a fic that was requested where like the ready has daddy issues and tom like helps her through it but I think I made it wayyyy to like serious I think the word is? and its very long so I’m considering scrapping it idk, also I’m getting to all ur requests that I wanna do dont worry !!
~
“hello?”, i said, picking up my phone. it was tom, my long-term fling. I can’t remember exactly how I met him, or exactly how we started hooking-up. I had heard about his band before we met, and I thought they were cool, but i didn’t quite understand just how popular they were. Until after meeting Tom, i didnt know about his ‘reputation’ either. I didn’t know until after the first time we hooked up. He had made us trade numbers, and i was expecting a call at least a day or two after we had seen each other, but nothing. I decided to do some research, just to find out that the boy i was crushing on was in fact a hardcore player. A womanizer, if you will. Part of me wanted to never go out with him again, the smart part of me. But another part of me wanted him so badly, so overwhelmingly bad that I went with my heart instead of my head. I liked Tom, I really did. I couldn’t help it. But I didn’t want myself to get hurt, so I expected just about nothing from him. We fuck and then it’s over. Whenever he would ask me to stay the night or do any of that stuff, I would politely decline and leave. Sometimes we would go out and do non-sexual things, but they always ended sexual. I learned to become okay with that, and I ultimately stopped expecting us to do anything that was hooking up.
“Hey, are you busy?”, he asked.
“Hmm, i dont know, maybe, depends on why you’re calling.”, I teased. he chuckled.
“Uh-huh… well I was thinking, that if you’re free, I could take you out somewhere.”
“take me out, huh? is that code for fucking?”, this earned me another laugh.
“no, no, it can be, but I want to actually take you out.”, he chuckled.
“are you asking me out on a date?”, i asked, a little confused.
“…yes?”
I was quiet for a second, apparently a second too long.
“look if you dont want to, we don’t have to, I just thought-“, he started.
“no, no! sorry! I was thinking but yes, I’m free and we should go out!”, I interrupted. I heard him release a breath he was holding, probably one he didn’t intend for me to hear.
“okay, yea, cool. when can I pick you up?”
“hmm let’s say in about 30 minutes? does that work?”
“perfect.”
“mhm, I’ll see you then.”
“bye.”, he said just before I hung up.
tom kaulitz. taking me out on a date?? what????
I got up almost immediately and started to get ready. I wanted to look as cute as possible. I ran over to my wardrobe and searched through it for a good five minutes. I found this super cute, also pretty tiny, pleated denim skirt and this purple and black top that had a lot of lace detailing and these little puffy princess sleeves. I put on some jewelry, makeup, and these black boots I had. I left my hair down, i noticed that when I did, Tom always complimented it. I grabbed my purse and threw some gum, lipgloss, my phone, and my little digital camera in there.
I glanced at the clock and saw that he should be here any minute. I stepped outside and waited for about 3 minutes, which would’ve been fine, if it wasn’t as cold as it was. I didn’t feel like going back in, just in case he showed up right as i did. I was shivering a tiny bit and got some goosebumps, but to my relief, and pulled in front of my house not too much later. I got in, the warm air of his car heaters hitting me.
“shit, you look freezing. how long were you out there for?”, Tom asked, looking genuinely concerned.
“I’m cold but I’m fine.”, I laughed it off.
“okay, do you need a jacket or-“
“No!! I’m serious! I’m okay.”, I laughed some more.
“okay, okay! just checking.”, he smiled. I watched as his eyes did a quick scan over me.
“you look pretty. your hair looks really nice too.”, he said, his eyes averting back forward as he began to drive away.
“thank you. you don’t look too bad yourself.”
he playfully rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help but smile as well.
“sooo… where are we going?”, I questioned.
“you’ll see.”
“Oh, c’mon. I hate surprises.”
“You’ll like this one, trust me.”
I sighed and faced myself back forward. Some radio station was playing softly in the background as we raced down the highway.
the drive to the mystery place wasn’t far, only a 20 minute drive, which I filled with a lot of talking. mainly about random stuff, Tom telling a few jokes which never failed to make me laugh. He pulled into a parking lot which only had a few other cars. I looked around, it looked like we were at some kind of fancy park. A garden maybe? He leaned over the center console and grabbed something from the backseat.
Tom dropped a large black zip up jacket in my lap.
“My jacket, so you aren’t freezing your ass off the entire time.”
“Oh, thank you.”, i said quietly. He got out of the car and made his way to the back. I followed his lead, getting out of the car, putting on the jacket but not zipping it. I walked around to the back of the car where the trunk was open. There were two big woven picnic baskets. Tom grabbed both and I shut the trunk door as he began to walk off. I caught up with him.
“Do you want me to carry one?”, i motioned to the baskets.
“It’s okay, just follow me.”, he said, continuing his venture into the park. I followed close behind.
We didn’t walk for long, it was a really beautiful park. There were lots of flowers and little benches everywhere. Lots of really big and beautiful trees too. We stopped in front of this big pond, the water was so clear you could see the miniature fish swimming. there was a swan that swam around too.
Tom opened one of the baskets, revealing a big blanket. Without a word, I helped him spread it out over the fluffy grass. He sat down on it and patted the little space next to him, indicating for me to sit down as well. I did. He grabbed the other basket next to him and moved it to be in front of us. Tom opened it and inside were a ton of snacks. All of my favorites. I was shocked to say the least.
“Oh my god, how did you know?”, i said, mouth slightly agaped. He looked proud of himself.
“You mentioned some of your favorite snacks once or twice.”, he nonchalantly shrugged.
“This is lovely, Tom.”, I replied, sounding as genuine as I ever had. His eyes met mine and I gave him a little smile which he returned.
“What is all of this for?”, i added.
“Just wanted to do something nice for you, I guess.”, he mumbled and looked away.
I gently placed my hand over his, his head turned to mine.
“I appreciate it, I really do.”, i smiled. my thumb caressed his hand for a second.
“I like spending time with you, y’know? even when we’re not…”, he trailed off. I laughed, taking my hand off his, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Tom.
I grabbed one of the many snacks he packed and started to eat. In between bites, I would ramble about different things. He always would just listen to me talk, admiring me as he did. This went on for a while. Tom started eating some. Somewhere in the midst of this, my position changed. I now had my head laid across his legs, my legs stretched out and my hair splayed all over his lap. i stopped eating and just started talking. Tom gazed down at me. Eventually he lit a cigarette and started smoking. He held the cigarettes between his pointer and middle finger, moving it down for me to take a puff. I did, peering into his eyes as I did so. They weren’t filled with their normal lust, but they looked like they had something else in them. I couldn’t figure it out.
Tom talked some too, mainly making crude jokes. I always laughed, no matter how stupid. I think he enjoyed that.
He took a hit and then leaned over, his mouth hovering over mine. I opened and allowed him to blow the smoke in my mouth. He sat back up and watched as slowly blew it out.
“I know this isn’t a normal thing to do when we ‘meet up’, but i really like it.”, Tom said, his fingers intertwined with the ends of my hair.
“Really?”, i asked. I knew for a fact he enjoyed my body, but I wasn’t aware he liked spending time with me when we weren’t doing one another.
“yea… why’s that so shocking?”
“Um, i dont know. I guess I thought you really only wanted sex from me.”
“Oh.”
“Yea..”
“Uh, I guess that’s just what I wanted at first. But the more I started seeing you, the more I wanted to see you again.”
“Oh?”
“Yea, and whenever I would invite you to stay over or do anything like that, you would always say no. Kind of assumed you were the one who only wanted me for sex.”
“I don’t, I just assumed you were trying to be polite or something. It’s stupid, I guess.”
“No, it’s not. At this point, you know me and you know the reputation I have, so i understood why you thought that.”
“Sorry…”, I muttered, feeling a little embarrassed.
“Don’t be sorry.”
We sat in silence for a few moments, but it wasn’t awkward.
“I was thinking about maybe doing this kinda thing more often with you, I mean, we can still do our normal things we do, but maybe we can start doing more of this too.”
“What? Like go on dates?”, i furrowed my brows.
“Yea, something like that.”
“I feel like that’s something only couples do.”, i sorta laughed. He was quiet, which made me sit up, I looked over at him. He was staring at his lap in my absence.
“Is that… not a possibility?”, he murmured.
“But… I thought you dont do commitment? and relationships?”
“Yea, i dont usually.”
“I can’t go on dates with you and act all boyfriend-girlfriend unless you are actually going to commit. I’m not going to do that to myself, Tom. I can’t let myself get hurt like that.”, i said quietly but sternly. I had to be sensible, i didn’t want to be just another girl that got fooled by Tom Kaulitz.
“I know, but i want to try.”, he looked up at me with pleading eyes.
“What changed? What’s different now than from when I first met you?”, I asked, still unsure.
“I hate talking about my feelings.”, he huffed.
“I’m not gonna judge you or anything, I just need to know.”
“You changed me. You did. I didn’t want to date any of the girls I hooked up with for one night because they just weren’t worth it and they didn’t mean that much to me. You’re one of the only girls I’ve consistently seen for more than a month. I haven’t gotten with any other girl than you for like 4 months. I don’t know what it is about you, but I can’t ignore it. And I want more of you. More than just the physical aspects. Dont get me wrong, I love those parts of you too, but i want you for more than just your body. Dude, I can’t stop saying stupid ass jokes to you just because I want to hear your laugh. So yeah, I haven’t ever really commited before because I didn’t really do relationship. But, for you, it’s different. You are the only exception.”
“What? Really? I had zero idea you felt that way at all…”, I replied, astounded.
“Well I do feel that way and have for a little while now.”
“You aren’t playing with me, right?”, i asked, still not believing it.
“Really?? I practically just confessed myself to you and you still don’t believe me?”
“Okay, I’m sorry! You’re right, this was just, unexpected from you.”
“So… what do you think?”
“I want you too, Tom.”, I managed to say. A smile grew on his once nervous face. He cupped my face in his hands and began to lean in.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Mhm.”, i responded. He kissed me so passionately, I felt like I was floating. My hand went to his jaw, my thumb subconsciously tracing little hearts on his lower cheek. I could feel him smile into the kiss. I pulled away, my forehead still connected with his. I started giggling a little, looking away and hiding my face.
“Oh, c’mon. Dont be shy, now.”, Tom pulled my back towards him so I was leaned against his frame, his arms wrapped around my torso. He left little kisses on the top of my head.
“Wow.”
“Hm?”, he hummed.
“Can’t believe I was your only exception.”, i said with a cocky smile in attempt to poke fun at him.
I could feel him roll his eyes.
“Uh-huh, whatever. Its true.”
“I kinda never thought this day would come.”, i said, my finger trailing up and down his, that rested on my stomach.
“Yea, me too, I guess. But I’m glad that it did.”
I smiled, turning my head around to kiss him again.
A new beginning.
His first real relationship.
It was me, I was his only exception.
Something about that phrase made me feel like the most special girl in the world.
~
#tokio hotel#tokio hotel fanfic#tokio hotel fluff#tokio hotel x reader#tokio hotel imagine#tom kaulitz#tom kaulitz angst#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz x you#tom kaulitz fluff#tom kaulitz fanfic#tom kaulitz x y/n
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Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't know you didn't write for f!reader.
So, could I request headcanons of Isagi, Bachira, Rin, Reo, and Sae with a Gn! Reader who's a cheerleader?
🍁˖࿐ Cheerleader! S/O - Isagi, Bachira, Rin, Reo, Sae
╰┈➤Hcs of them with a Cheerleader! s/o! (not the stereotype i think? im guessing u meant the sport since i heard its hard) Genre: Fluff and crack? Gn!reader or Any gender Warnings: Swearing obviously, kinda short so theres that, not proof read Waiter's Notes: Hello lovely!! its alright dear :)) just make sure to read the req page/rules next time ^^ Kinda short since im forgetful, the only cheerleading movie ive watched was like over a year ago and too lazy to do research
Masterlists Req Page/Rules
MAD RESPECT
He has ALOT of respect for you in general but this? it just tenfolded bro
Tries to come to all your competitions!! and vise versa, unless your competition times overlap :'D
Comes to your practices too <3
Always makes sure to bring snacks and drinks for you
Keeps track of your diet if you have one, but ALWAYS makes sure that you arent pushing yourself too much
Coming to his games with your team/friends to cheer!
He would be SOOOOOOOOO flustered but cmon, he looks ADORABLE when he is <3333
VERY SUPPORTIVE AND GOOFY!!!
He stops by your practice and tries to do your routine, it ends up in a mess and your coach is scolding you both LMAO
But he only had good intentions!
He wanted to take your mind off things like the competition since he knows it makes you nervous, and nervous you is well- not the best you 😭😭
again, he BRAGS to anyone and EVERYONE. about you and how youre so cool doing all those tricks and things ykyk!!
He probably drags isagi to watch your competitions tbh
When you come to watch his matches and cheer, he has the BIGGEST smile ever!! 🥹🥹
Its basically like shoving 5kg of sugar into his mouth, hes so energetic and motivated now <3
guys theres literally a reason why i didnt add him on the artist hcs and its bcs i genuinely think that he wont give a fuck 🧍
Like, you do cheerleading? okay cool👍
But for the sake of this hc then imma put all my brain juice into this one
Might come to your practices whenever he has spare time/he remembers and gives you either those nice energy drinks or some suspicious green fruit-vegetable shake 💀💀
But thats pretty rare
most of the time, you two meet up and do yoga/cool down together, maybe get icecream after bcs SCREW YOUR DIETS FOR ONCE ‼️‼️
If you come to his matches to cheer, then he would mostly be surprised because from the manga and light novel, no one really watched his matches
So he feels warmth blooming in his chest and subconciously works harder to score a goal
Its hard to find out which one of you two is the cheerleader tbh
deadass cheers MORE than you when it comes to your competitions no SHIT
also, your outift fees? covered. transportation fees? no need, get on his limousine. Props being too expensive? Honey no, 'Expensive' doesnt exist anymore remember?
He basically covers for everything you spend 🧍🧍
Im gonna bet on everything that you have this room in the mikage corp thats specifically for your private practices, like the one reo used to practice soccer
Pays his teammates to go with him to cheer you on your competitions 😭😭😭😭
Come to his matches to cheer and this guy will MELT
his teammates tease him for giving you the googly eyes LMAOOO
Unlike rin, this guy actually cares
kinda
well, more than rin, thats for sure <3
He's a busy guy so he mostly watches you on his phone
speaking of that, he has this album on his gallery thats just pics and vids and clips of you 😭
AND LET ME TELL YOU
IT TAKES UP LIKE 24GB OF HIS STORAGE 💀💀💀💀
Hes dedicated so atleast theres that 🤷😭
When you come to his matches, he might not see you at first bcs theres literally tens of thousands of people but when he does?
He performs a small gesture with his arm/s from a small routine you both came up with <33
(599 words)
im sorry dis is short, i literally dont know wat else to write 😭😭😭
#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x you#isagi yoichi x reader#isagi x reader#yoichi isagi x reader#bachira x reader#bachira meguru x reader#meguru bachira x reader#rin itoshi x reader#itoshi rin x reader#sae itoshi x reader#itoshi sae x reader#reo mikage x reader#reo x reader#mikage reo x reader
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So I just spent 30 minutes researching and deducting where exactly the snapdragon hill Eda and Raine would meet at is located in the boiling Isles (For my Fanfic "It Didnt Take Long") and let me say I came to a great conclusion
So the first thing that stumped me was the background
One would see those bones and think it's the ribs right? I also noticed there was water visible like a sea shore AND a river. Theres also a single house off to the side which seems pretty rural in architecture.
So this place IS near water
And in the center of the ribs there is a river running through it, however, its not so much a shore more as it is a canyon
And you dont really see any foilage or trees/forests within it
Which we know there is cause when the Owl Beast fights Eda in the snapdragon valley in her dreams we see some trees around them
Albiet, it is mostly hilly. And interesting to note its one of the few places with green/bluish grass/soil unlike how most the island is cover in red grass and tan dirt
The canyon depicted in the middle of the island also isn't visible around the valley either
So me being me with way too much free time looked at so many screenshots of the isles looking for a place with rib like bones and not so much red grass and you know what I discovered?
The Right Hand.
Now why does this make sense? Well, it has bones rising around it similar to the ribs. It seems to have hills and water flows through the fingers like rivers and it rests against the ocean. It doesnt seem to have much red grass and seems pretty isolated and rural.
ANOTHER reason I feel it would make sense the valley would be in the hand is that the Owl House is located on the forearm of the right arm. Eda had the Owl House around this age, so her going to the hand traveling VS the ribs it would be a much shorter flight.
The Emperors Castle is near the center of the ribs, which I would assume Eda would be avoiding at this age given she was starting to become a criminal.
So the hand is close to the Owl House and far from the reach of the Emperor. It would be safe and secluded, and perfect place for her and Raine to meet.
THEREFORE, I am dubbing the right hand the location of the snapdragon valley unless stated otherwise. I looked and did not find any indication of there being a canon city/landmark on the hand stated in the show, so there is free potential for it.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk I am so mentally sane
#raeda#the owl house#toh#eda clawthorne#raine whispers#edalyn clawthorne#eda the owl lady#this post is for the insane raeda shippers like me
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s3 morgana being "beyond redemption" is soooooo crazy to me like yeah trying to kill the evil tyrant king whos been murdering every last one of your kind is sooooo evil lock her up and throw away the key!!
such a prime example of a kick the dog character too. like they cant condemn her for just fighting for her right to exist so they have her executing civilians and trying to have gwen executed to make her into the villian.
and! the same goes for morgause! literally what did she ever do wrong? uther conquered camelot (said by him in the episode where gili fights in the tournament) and then executed hundreds if not thousands of people with magic but morgause trying to kill the king is a step too far? why? its almost like the show is actually on uthers side 🤨🤨🤨🤨
which leads me to: the fact that we essentially watch the entire show through the pendragon perspective. merlin protects arthur so everything we learn about the purge and magic and the old religion is from uther/gaius. so, biased, to say the least. one of the most important things they tell you when researching history is to consider where your information is coming from and how that persons perspective influences their discussion of it.
which is why i also dont consider nimueh to be a villain. shes an activist! yeah she tried to kill arthur that one (?) time but he didnt even die so. doesnt count <3 but we SEE her having a conversation ALONE with uther where she says she didnt know what would happen to ygraine and i just cant imagine why she would lie. if she really wanted to hurt him she could have said she'd known and killed her on purpose but i dont think thats the case at all. she says she never would have helped him if she'd known what would happen. like, surprise, if you hunt and kill people for the crime of existing they will fight back and its not going to be the way you like it and innocent people will die. because thats war. you ruthlessly slaughter her people and she will slaughter yours.
worlds most unstructered post. professors hate her. anyway the show eventually starts to take on a very firm, "merlin has magic but ues not LIKE those other magic users therefore hes ok :) everyone else is evil tho. except the druids (sometimes :|)", whereby merlin using magic is only allowed if hes helping or saving arthur (except all those other times but we dont talk about those i guess) and his stance on magic eventually warps until hes just kind of horrible about it.
100% unpopular opinion but gaius should have died in s2 or 3. he influenced merlin far too much and basically never for the better. sorry to gaius lovers but i do NOT like that old man. he advises merlin EVERY time to not tell morgana about her magic (which she has no control over and therefore is manifesting in ways that will absolutely get her caught), to never help any of the unfairly persecuted people of the episode or even to use magic at all. hes a bootlicking coward who only helped people he cared for or when it suited him. how many people do you think he watched burn simply because he didnt agree with the way they used magic, whether it actually "evil" or not.
merlin's only friends who know about his magic are an old conservative man and a guy who dies right when merlin could have used the support of someone to help him "come out" to arthur about his magic.
im firmly of the opinion that had he told morgana about his magic everything would have been literally fine. because alone and with loterally no support system at all, is it any wonder that morgana would go down the road she did? after years of fear and watching people just like her be burned for the crime of existing, with no prophecy or friends to tell her that it wont always be this way. you dont have to be afraid because youre not the only one and i wont let anything happen to you. oh wait. she did get told that. by MORGAUSE. not about the prophecy but how can they be judged by trying to bring about change by themselves. by trying to kill a king whos killed so many of their own people.
if the intention of the show had been to give a poignant message about the cycle of abuse (morgana succumbing to bitterness and hatred just like uther) or how fear can control you (merlin eventually becoming essentially the bad guy, judging everybody who doesnt use magic the way he sees fit, staying silent and contributing to persecution of magic people because living in fear can make you paranoid and bitter (sound familiar?)) then i would applaud because wow did that make me fucking cry! and hit actually very close to home! and it was tragic and horrible but also inevitable
but as far as i can tell that was not at all the point, because in the end kilgharrah tells merlin the prophecy has been fulfilled, albion is united and magic returned! hurrah! but. um. did i miss something? when did that happen? oh, you mean when gwen is queen....? so.... gwen unites the land of albion and returns magic to the land? except, merlin seems to have lived on until the 21st century of our world and magic is not what i would call flourishing atm.
so i guess my question is... well actually i dont have a question. actually wait i do. what the fuck?
#whoops long and probably confusing post#oh well#merlin#bbc merlin#morgana pendragon#arthur pendragon#uther pendragon#merthur#gaius
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wait aint no fucking way an actual genshin loretuber even jokingly acknowledged the rabbit hole insanity that is childe 3rd descender theories what the fuck.
is it finally legal for me to break my self imposed silence on the subject without publicly and shamefully removing all my credibility on genshin lore. please please . this is a super fucking vulnerable moment for me guysssss
(under read more bc full disclosure 100% i Will embarrass myself here. this is NOT on my top of the line Childe Theories And Analysis That I Will Defend In Court Under My Legal Name if Questioned list please understand. this is way more self indulgent and wildly speculative for me as much as i do Genuinely see there being a ground for the theory to stand on. ik when im off to the deep end JKWDKJJKWDJKWD)
like seriously be Aware this WILL be a complete mess btw you have all been warned so like no refunds accepted. if youd like to keep an image of me in your head where i am even slightly respectable and realistic when it comes to my theories please stay there. in the light. where the sun shines.
......
...
so. you have chosen death. o7
ok firstly. YES i KNOWW childe 3rd descender theory is batshit stuff thats Why i havent said shit abt it all this time bc i do Not trust myself to be truly objective on the subject bc i Want the theory to be real so bad so its like of course ill readily disregard all other possible candidates for 3rd descender bc bias. and also see it as more plausible that ajax has sth to do w that and make connections more readily. than any lore enthused person existing without his continued rent free existence in their brain for the last 3+ years. so like. yes. listen. i Know i know its prolly not real. but also i must # speak my truth .
anyway the vid didnt even fully touch on all the like. shady fucking shit when it comes to the Curious coincidences. bc like. so firstly the star thing and connections w childe
so wei did bring up the whole . ajax is released on patch 1.1 called "a new star approaches" (and also polar star is his sig) . except like Theres More bc while i was researching random childe brain rot stuff (sadly dont remember/have a link to where i first saw it) . that title in CN is even more pointedly About ajax bc apparently its about a "guest star". and a guest star again according to that post at least is specifically considered an omen of bad luck in chinese astrology. a guest star approaching = a disaster approaching. like mayhaps a ginger guy resurrecting osial or something . huh . maybe ajax Is the guestpilled starmaxxer in that title. the approacherrrrrr, even
secondly. there are some well hidden references to ajax As A Star in the fontaine AQ too. bc the act III where we go looking for him after he goes missing is called "to the stars shining in the depths" except again i have found a source (yes no link to it saved once again my bad) that its titled "to the morning star in the deep water" in chinese. which is again star singular. curious
then theres the act III official description. that goes "the moment it seized its destiny, the star quietly fell from its lofty perch". and like idk abt yall but if its fontaine AQ act III and you ask me WHOS out there seizing their destiny of all things. It Seems Somewhat Plausible To Argue that its PROBABLY referring to the guy thats out there getting teleported to the primordial sea to face the creature thats Literally etched into the stars as his constellation. like . i have a very Difficult time trying to see the star that is seizing its destiny at this moment as Anyone but him reuniting w the narwhal for the first time in a decade and his 1st thought is to throw hands JKJKWDJKWDJKWDJK
(also. "fell from its lofty perch". fell from where. falling towards where. mayhaps even................ descending?????? if Seizing your destiny is taking your fate into your own hands.... a star that Falls from its perch.... that Descends after seizing its destiny....... Curious is all i will say. hey guys do you think your vision would mayhaps begin rejecting you if you start seizing ur own destiny and thus failing to follow the "duty" of predestined fate that same vision had bestowed upon you. guys do you think a star that seizes its destiny and falls from its lofty perch would get vision error 404. guys----)
also this is a smaller thing bc i think ascension mat theories are largely fringe and not that reliable (ning guizhong reincarnation "theories" ThoseWhoKnow) but i do think it can be acknowledged as a sort of. Extension to all these curious references to stars and being A Star when it comes to childe. he does use Star Conches for ascension . so like it can be a little extra on top of the other more serious more Professionally Certified star things hoyo is curiously attaching to him
so like . a star. a star also being a thing the traveler is repeatedly called. its so quirky that this pattern continues. so thats one thing
oh and also. if childes the non-descender (bc he clearly hasnt regained that status Yet) reincarnated soul of the 3rd descender.
you know what. a dead star. if its massive enough. like perhaps massive enough in some genshin metaphysical fantasy way. to be a star that counts as a descender with a will that rivals a world. if a heavy enough. star. dies. you know. you know what they turn into---
[THERE IS A MAD GLEAM IN MY EYES. YOU HEAR BOSS MUSIC.]
Anyway Hello Dear Reader Of Mine Humble Blog Would You Like To Spare A Moment To Discuss How The All-Devouring Narwhal That Consumes Any And All Stellar Object Coming Into Its Orbit Also Known As Ajax' Reflection In Teyvat's Skies Is Essentially A Sentient Living Black Hole And How A Black Hole Is Formed When A Star Dies? No? Okay.
like wouldnt it be super fucking funny if the constellation of the dead descenders reincarnated soul is a creature that for all intents and purposes is a black hole. like. a dead star. wouldnt that be funny
and before you ask. yes i have thoughts that would make ajax & narwhal are soulmates slash halves of the same entity that remains fully compatible with the 3rd descender brainrot but i. will Not subject you people to that. theres "respectably self aware insane theory i indulge in but know the limitations of" and then theres "jens top 10 personal jenshin impact plot twist wishlist please fulfill mr dawei pwease i swear itll be peak" like ffs. it might seem otherwise given the words i am saying right now but i do have Some propriety
the divine halberd was shattered into NINE piece---- (GUNSHOT)
whoa. what a loser high on her own hopium i wonder who that was. good thing the snipers got her ass there
back to your regularly scheduled programming. obviously theres other things that would very conveniently be explained by this 3rd descender shit as well like. dead eyes. soul of a dead descender thats in Literal Pieces body wise. the dead star that carries a curse above ground upon first making contact with the truth of his being aka post abyss training camp post meeting his mirror imaged destiny in his narwhal. a curse like mayhaps bringing chaos whenever he goes. an incompatibility with the world. drawing everything into his orbit being the eye of the storm or perhaps... the Singularity???? the event horizon??? a source of endless unrest and disaster........ just like the curse of a gnosis TEE HEE .
anyway super funny how that goes. and then another thing wei didnt really. fully go into is naturally the
(DEEP BREATH)
3rd son of his family with 3 older siblings and 3 younger siblings 3rd limited character ever released with 3 names and the 3rd weekly boss with 3 phases each representing 3 unique sources of power (vision, delusion and foul legacy) a 3 petaled symbol aka the triquetra of riptide and six in-game constellations divided into 3 subgroups with 3 unique prefixes (foul legacy, abyssal mayhem, havoc in eng) 3 days missing from teyvat and 3 months spent in abyss is 3rd to wield foul legacy after surtalogi and skirk
also the first character to receive a 3rd rateup banner ANYWAY (also the possible. is the 3rd reincarnation of the original ajax thing. but yeas)
[Me When I'm In A Be Suspiciously Associated With The Number 3 Competition And My Opponent Is Childe Ajax Tartaglia]
isnt it just silly. how many times it comes up. Nobody talk to meeeee its so over
theres prolly some other things too that i have driven myself to madness with when thinking abt this but idr em right now and like . not like this is any manner of serious respectable theory anyway sooooooooo
anyway ill stop embarrassing myself now. like as i said i have been legally forcing myself into silence on this bc listen. i KNOW this is bullshit i KNOW im a deranged biased childe main who will do Anything just to cook up a fantasy version of genshins endgame lore where My Dude is at the center stage and gets to be a massive fucking deal yes 100% deserve to be disqualified on account of terminal stage blorbo bias when it comes to theories on the subject i just. the fact that this is the FIRST time i see Any loretuber person acknowledge the theory. i just had to come in here and let it be known that. Yes. ive been seeing this shit and thinking abt it SINCE 4.2 dropped since that stupid fucking note about forsaking the self and being reborn in the abyss as a holy infant or a primordial human or a descender and that somehow Thats called Ajax. of all things. its horribleeee it eats me alive
#(runs away and hides) btw you CANNOT come at me for this. i know i am saying deranged things i knooooowwww i just simply had to speak#with the many words and thoughts that plague my mind about this . i know its prolly not real at all#but also.... if its not real why are there all these strange thingsssssssss#why do things line uppppppppp im gonna cry#anyway. me when genshin loretuber does wild far fetched theory i dislike: omgg this is why i cant take this stuff seriously. be seriousss#me when genshin loretuber insane theory but its MY man and MY favorite insane theory: SPEAK THE TRUTH#i am such a hypocrite when it comes to ajax its actually embarrassing..................#like ive never even Watched any of weis vids before this but i saw this one and its instantly like YESSSSS IM NOT ALONE IN THE VISION#honestly i kinda just wish for my own sake that this all turns out to be as fake and far fetched as it feels sometimes bc like.#my egomania. if this is real. i will be the absolute worst i am terrified of even the thought of what a complete bitch i will become#if i actually call it JKDWJKJKDWJKEJKSFJKWDJKWJK#anyway#genshin#rambles#childeposting#long post
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Homestuck 2 updated today! Even I'm not enough of a dork to leave a Christmas Party to go read Hamsteak, but it got late and I'm back now, so let's do it. Months ago, but not many, before Alt!Calliope collapsed. Has it really been months, in-universe, since Dave/Aradia left Candy? Time is confusing, especially in Homestuck.
Oh wait, this is after Jade broke free of Calliope's control back in Chapter 6. That was months ago? Man, it's so weird how we've cut back to the Meat Rocket several times since then and Jade just....hasn't done anything or said anything about being possessed? At least onscreen? Totally glossed over.
Probably the biggest mystery in HSBC right now is who the Candyland narrator is. The "Lady" giving commands is clearly Alt Calliope, so who's the narrator pushing back on her here?
Oh. We have another Alt Calliope. An Alt-er Calliope. This seems to literally be the same person as Alt Calliope, though, since they re-fuse. Maybe this is something to do with Ultimate Selves, which might be why non-Alt Calliope is so afraid of her.
Cutting from Alt Calliope talking about decorum to Davebot and Aradia taking selfies with her corpse is a cute gag. I'd forgotten Aradia had a new Calliope-themed outfit. That's kind of weird.
DAVEBOT: to be fair this was typical teen jade behavior DAVEBOT: honestly shoulda done a little more research into that host body
Oh that's an interesting explanation for why Alt-Calliope-In-Pre-Retcon-Jade's-Body passed out (and almost certainly not the original team's reason). But Jade's narcolepsy was Vriska-induced.
DAVEBOT: you just went on another one didnt you ARADIA: yes DAVEBOT: who did you meet this time ARADIA: the necr- DAVEBOT: no dont tell me its simply too much to bear ARADIA: are you doing a bit DAVEBOT: of course im doing a bit
I do like the idea that Aradia uses her time powers to have entire adventures in between sentences. I suppose this also makes Pesterquest's Aradia arc canon, since that involved a bunch of HS2 stuff. I haven't played Pesterquest in forever so I don't know if the "necr-" ("necromancer"?) is a reference to that or foreshadowing.
ARADIA: actually i doomed thousands of timelines DAVEBOT: thats kind of fucked up ARADIA: yeah! ARADIA: to be fair i was doing it on purpose DAVEBOT: thats even more fucked up
Aradia is the best troll.
Dave's pillow wearing sunglasses is a great gag. Also, a cute character moment. Those glasses were a gift from John, and Dave kept them even after becoming a robot.
ARADIA: i could go see him right now DAVEBOT: you wont ARADIA: i wont 0u0
Assuming "him" in Sollux, that seems to imply that Aradia can come and go to Candyland freely, which is...interesting.
ARADIA: youre welcome 0u0 ARADIA: anyway the point im making here is that some of these missteps end up serving a grander purpose ARADIA: things that seem unimportant or even “wrong” can end up being essential components of whats meant to happen ARADIA: and who even decides whats wrong in the first place? DAVEBOT: i dunno megido thats borderline blasphemous
This is pretty obviously about Candyland, especially since Dave just shit on his pre-Ultimate Candy self as being a different person from a "lame" timeline, and "How much does it matter if something is canon or not?" is the question HS2 is allegedly about in the first place. But also I kind of like this nerdy time shit philosophizing even without the thematic subtext. The Homestuck EU has mostly been "Trolls! Aren't they neat!" and Ultimate Selves, but the Classpects haven't really been talked about much for a long Time.
Dave also refers to "Skaia's alpha timeline" in this conversation, but it's never been fully clear to what extent Skaia was pulling the strings. The "alpha" timeline was just the one with no paradoxes, and it was Lord English, not Skaia, who was making it so restrictive.
ARADIA: whats the right way for a butterfly to flap its wings? DAVEBOT: the way that doesnt make me gay
Dave...you are gay. You've been gay since Homestuck proper. It was a big part of why your marriage to Jade fell apart. Ultimate Dave is comprised of all Daves, and since Dave quit time-traveling before figuring out his sexuality, he seems to have regressed somewhat.
Dave was always scared of creating Dead Daves. "Dead Daves are the enemy", and it's why he doesn't time travel any more, and Aradia here seems to be arguing that this is limiting him, that he can't grow and explore without breaking some rules and dooming some timelines. This is, of course, Thematic™. You can't go in an interesting new direction if you're too worried about sticking to what the story's "supposed" to be about.
DAVEBOT: also now feels like a good time to mention that despite my omnitemporal awareness of everything that has and ever will happen to me i actually have no idea where the fuck youre proposing to take me ARADIA: oh word ARADIA: fun huh? DAVEBOT: being real i kind of hate it ARADIA: woohoo! DAVEBOT: youre such a freak DAVEBOT: TONE INDICATOR: AFFECTIONATE
ARADIA: cmon you shithead
This is such a fun pairing.
Hm. Calliope gets back up right as Aradia and Davebot's feeling jam is getting somewhere and makes them stop. Hmmm...
Good update. Aradia is my favorite troll and this was Good Aradia Content. I am increasingly convinced that she is not a Handmaid to Calliope, despite the cult outfit. Also rather interested in what's up with the Double Alt Calliope thing, but I imagine that'll get a follow-up at some point.
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based on my digimon master online game, how would be like a 24 year old fem! tamer who found in her doorstep a cardboard box with 4 digieggs (wizardmon, terriermon, (fem!) lopmon (she is terriermon's younger twin sister) and meicoomon) and when they hatch as lil keemon, zerimon, kokomon, and a fluffier looking snow botamon with faint light markings (that sign that she is a meicoomon when she grows and evolve to her actual form);
and the lil keemon is the one who loves y/n a lot compared to the other 3 who like her too; with a timeskip of 2 years later with him now as a wiz giving her a flower before confessing his feelings for her and gladly she accepts his feelings.
(Credit to the artist (Artist is mentioned down there on the right side))
(Sorry but I cant picture myself this scenario, as you would have been like a mother figure to them which is why I will do platonic version but no more or less, sorry since it probably would be heading a entirely diffrent way then you wanted but such scenarios are also platonic in my eyes.)
B/f x reader
Growing closer
_____________________
It was a cold nice day, finally after 8 painfully long hours of working, since you gotta make a living somehow, you took office job and after it was finally over and since it was over, first thing you done was to watch TV, there way to many TV Series that have to be finished by you and to little time to sadly do it. After watching a couple series for some hours, you heard a sound from the door you went there, thinking what or who would do such thing this late at the day.
You have gone to your door and opended it and found.. a cardboard with some eggs in it? You were weirded out having never seen such eggs.. and big at that to, you first thought these were Ostrich eggs.. so you tried to cook them but they were to hard and couldnt break which frustrated you.
Sooo, like any person with the average IQ of -5, you used Google to try and find out what these eggs were or better say from which animal or organism they came. To your suprise, they werent any ordinary eggs.. these eggs were called Digieggs and after some throughout research you found out what will come out of these eggs, some Digimons named Botamon, Kokomon, Zerimon and Keemon, they were fictional characters from your childhood Show 20 years ago, you used to watch it so much but sadly have forgotten most of these times.
So you made sure to take them with you everywhere, as to make sure that when they hatch you can see it in a instant. After some further hours of waiting they hatched ! You saw and felt like a Mum VvV, seeing their kids being born, you were very happy :D
Now the funny part.. you dont know what they eat, nor what they can eat or not, they arent any organic organism but you decided milk and some meat should be ok for now.
You searched up their names and what they could "evolve" into, or as people would say "digievolve" into. Now you got a Keemon, small and friendly but sometimes somehow angry, how? I dont know, a Botamon, a chaotic little energy ball, a Kokomon very cute choco looking like digimon and lastly Zerimon, weird but also cute.
Now there was another small problem, you never had to take care of any kids, much less since you were a only child and pretty much got always what you wanted, you never had to do anything. Now that you were a fully responsible adult and moved away from your parents and took a job to pay rent and your living expsenes, you didnt know if you were able to take care of these little Digimon.
Sooo, you called your bestfriend over, he was at first not believing a single word you have said but the moment he was in with you.. He was fascinated, such cute little creatures? But then he asked for what reason did you actually call him.
"So... hehe, basicly if I would this alone, there be to much for me to work off... and I dont wanna be a single mum, and since we both are already bestfriends why dont you help ne :D Also these little kids need a dad."
"Wait wait wait wait- a dad? But why me!"
You mentaly slapped yourself and just gave him a unfazed stare.
"Who is a man, is my closet friend, can weirdly be a good dad, can help me and is always there for me :D"
He just sighned and.. even though to us its obvious and you being a blind person ( in terms of reading the room), he has feelings for you and taking care of them with you.
"You will be the mother?"
You just nodded VvV. "Then... eh.. should I adress you as honey then, infront of the kids?" At that point you just stared at him. Would that title suit you?... Yes, yes it would.You happily nodded.
"So we be parents then? :D" you asked, he just embarrasedly nodded and you jumped in the air, feeling all happy and friendly, atleast you wont be having to deal all this alone, you have someone by your side during all of this.He just smilled at you, how could you be so blind to his feelings but because of you.. he be doing this, out of love for you.
2 Years Timeskip~
After some years parenting, both you and B/f have come far, your small little kids that you named happily, Botamon, you named him after your Uncle, his name was Kai, and little Botamon gave some Ninjago Kai vibes off, and he always watched that show as he grew up.Kokomon, you named them Choc, because of his chocolate coulered self and his affinity to liking sweets that are always sided with chocolate flavor.Zerimon was named Lemon, he is coloured like a Lemon and loves Citrus fruits, noice which is why the both you of named him Lemon and he is the exact opposites of his sister Zerimon.Keemon was the weirdest of the bunch, he was like a clingy dog which is why ya named him Max, he wouldnt leave neither your or B/f sides, always calling you both Mum and Dad, which at times made you chuckle and B/f a blushing mess, yet as they digivoled all into their respective forms you couldnt help but smile at them and B/f and even thought it might have seemed as if you were oblivious to B/fs feelings, you werent, you also liked him but wanted just to tease him so much it also made you realise how thankful you were that he was by your side, supporting and helping you no matter what or without any complaints, so one day when it was late and the kids were sleeping, you invited him to the livingroom since before you both have sleeped seperately but now you wanted to be more then just friends, you took him to the livingroom and confessed to him.
When he heard those words from you "I like you more then a simple friend".. he cried, he was happy beyond any thing that could be scaled, this one was one of the hapiest day of his life, and yes finally after so long you are finally his. He took you by arms and hugged you, its safe to say that you both went to bed after that confession but didnt did the deed as you both were faithful followers of the lord, you saved yourself for day you both will marry.
But the both of you pray and hope that the lord will bless you both with more such happy moments , the moment that the both of you will spend together, as lovers and one flesh, just as the lord always had planned for the both of you.
_____________________
Thanks for making a request but please, any kind of family bond should also be kept as one, but I hope you all enjoyed this small fic and wish ya all a blessed day/night.
God bless ya all!
;)
#digimon x reader#x reader#digimon#x female reader#x fem!reader#best friends#besties#besties to lovers
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Haha ashwaghanda is my savior right now. I was really depressed and neurotic about everything and that made me even more depressed because I knew there was something wrong with me and just wanted to be normal. So I really hated myself.
But I’d tried ashwaghanda in the past but really needed something to help me. (Im not able to see a therapist because I don’t have much money) so I bought a different brand and it literally had changed my life. It’s also mixed with St John’s Wart, which is another herb and helps with depression. But it does interfere with medications so be careful if you take it.
I was afraid to start it because everyone says it can make you numb but it really didn’t for me. I feel more stable and more at peace I guess. Also you’re supposed to cycle it every 3 months or something. Lmao how I first noticed it was working was I noticed my handwriting got suddenly so much neater lol. Like in the past it was messy and illegible, so I was like hold up… why can I actually read what I’m writing. I think it was a reflection of my mental state. I actually understand myself now and in the past few months have genuinely started loving myself. It didn’t make my anxiety go away but I guess I’m able to realize that I can handle it now. So yeah haha my experience is pretty great so far!
thats amazing!!! when i first tried ashwagandha when i was 19-20, i had a really good time, i slept like a baby, i felt calm and generally more at ease etc
but i tried ash again last year and oh boy 😭😭😭
it made me suuuuper foggy and lethargic, i couldnt even stand up to get out of my bed sometimes bc it made me super out of energy,,
a common side effect of ash is anhedonia, which is described as the inability to feel pleasure and a lack of interest in life. i felt that,, its so interesting to me that you mentioned handwriting and how yours got neater because my journal entries from the time are soooo illegible, messy and looks like the textbook definition of someone whose cognitive capacities were impaired 💀💀🤐 it made me anxious asf, my heartbeat would be racing for no reason 💀💀my brain was sooo cloudy, id sit down on my bed and then 5 hours would pass by just like that and i wouldnt even know it 💀💀i felt very woozy, like my room was floating or smthng 😭
i was severely dissociated and extremely fatigued but i will admit that i did take too much of it 💀💀and i didnt cycle it 😭😭
i think different people react differently and its also impacted by our underlying state of mind and general condition i guess.
i did have a good experience with ash the first time around which is why i took it again last year, only to turn into a zombie cause of it lmao ,, it took me months to recover from it 😭😭
im really glad you had a positive experience bestie <333 its wonderful that ash did all that for you!! when it works, its truly incredible!!
to anybody thinking of taking herbal supplements, PLEASE exercise caution, take it in small quantities, do your research on its impact on any specific conditions you have etc
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I’m kind of surprised you started dating a lot more and are open to Islam recently, you’re one of the reasons I stopped entirely, which neither is a wrong thing to do. It’s kind of hard to do it alone but I just prioritized friendships in the time I’ve been following you. Which actually is closer to 10 years now I think, definitely since way before the pandemic. Anyway it’s just been on my mind to send this ask for a while now, you seem so successful that when I get to be where you are I know I’ll be even less interested in marriage and dating, but I guess that’s also a plus for you since you said you want kids. Good luck with it all, It’s great you were able to reconcile yourself and Islam, I’ve never felt like religion could be fulfilling, especially when you have views on gender and politics that go again the core tenants of a patriarchal religion. But I can see how the immediate community has its appeal and people are judged overly harshly when they don’t conform to societal and gender expectations of be a woman/man then have a partner/kids, and it’s not like there aren’t other good things too. Anyway I’m glad I followed you when I did because I got a new perspective and it made me more of a brave, accountable person, I’m not really afraid of being lonely and I can take accountability for my wrongs too, knowing that socialization is so deep I need to think about why and what I’m doing. You a few other people impacted me so deeply when I was 16 and trying to leave my parents home
wow this is a very sweet message. But almost makes feel scared that i had an impact on impressionable young teens I dont think my views on Islam have changed, certainly not as much as my view on dating. I still have the same criticisms of sunni jurisprudence. I think i just have less of exposure to that community now as i did back in the day, and it just use to rile me up. I was just angry, justifiably so, and wanting to dismiss everything - and it showed up in the tone of my writing.
I mean i still can't go around muslim events saying the things i actually believe. Sunni jurisprudence is undeniably patriarchal. But so long as they aren't like getting very preachy, doing halaqas and sermons on how to oppress women, im okay. In my uni days, MSAs were actually doing exactly that. That's why i was so critical. But i see now this type of thing seems to be dying down, atleast in my area. i dont find religion fulfilling but i do find likeminded people fulfilling. I still associate more with like academic type folks who either research religion, anthropology, write critiques. I went to a party full of marxists the other day. I didnt agree with everyone there. But i suppose, its discussion that's fulfilling. And sometimes muslim community and gathering can be very dismissive and not receptive to discussion. Which is a shame because in the islamic golden age, that's all they were doing.
i was honestly planning to be alone, and my plan was to solo adopt a kid if i wanted a child. I felt this way all the way up until like summer of 2022. then something did change. and i didn't want to be alone. if you had asked the 2013-2022 version of me, i would have balked at the thought of me wanting a partner. I was almost proud of it. Proud of being a single unattached woman with no men in her life. I suppose the only thing I can say now is that it's very hard to predict how and what you will feel and want at some point in the future. I was certain that I wouldn't want companionship and kids. Half my blog was dedicated to it. And that is kind of scary. I actually wrote about this on my blog back in the fall of 2022. It scared me how much something had shifted so suddenly, something that was a such long held state. If that could change, what else could change?
At your age, i would say prioritize career first ofc/financial freedom etc. If you dont have that, you wont feel ready for anything else. And ofc keep expanding your friend circle and forming connections through local activities or travel.
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