#which is why i searched for it in the first place

[pathologicalreid]

blowing smoke | s.r.

in which Spencer asks you out on a date, but you know better

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: maeve and that fucking book. mutual pining but with avoidant reader. this fic lowkey could've been titled waiting room because reader knows it's for the better. word count: 1.96k a/n: hey does this thing still work? hello?

The hand hovering over the small of your back didn’t go unnoticed. In fact, you were hyperaware of every movement that Spencer made. Every hitched breath, each time he shifted his weight, the way he guided you through the halls put you on edge. He herded you through your apartment complex as if it were a maze he’d scrawled on the back of his hand.

His apartment was in the opposite direction of yours, but he still offered to take the red line with you, citing a need to make sure you got home safely. “Did you have a good time tonight?” He asked, his voice breaching the painful silence that had coagulated between you, his hand remained above your back, skimming the fabric of your jean jacket as you stepped onto the elevator together, trapping you in a metal box together.

You nodded once, keeping your eyes focused on the muddled reflection of the two of you in the elevator door instead of looking back at him. “I can’t complain about good company,” you answered, curling your toes in your shoes, using the texture of your socks to stop yourself from abandoning your resolve.

Spencer hummed in response, “We should do it again sometime,” he told you, letting you get off of the elevator first before he trailed you to your front door.

���As long as Penelope’s around, I don’t think we’ll be in danger of losing team bonding nights.” Tonight had been dinner at a new restaurant in the district, a place that you’d never heard of but Garcia had found on social media. Of course, the restaurant served exclusively Italian cuisine, and Rossi—who you’d been sat next to—went around the table and explained what he’d change about everyone’s meals to make them more authentic.

He was quiet as you rummaged through your purse for your apartment key, zeroed in on the way you rifled through pens and chapsticks to find the right carabiner. “Oh,” he responded, following you into the apartment. “I meant maybe you and I could do something. Get dinner together sometime.”

You faltered, your hand resting on a hanger in your coat closet, “I think Penelope would take it personally if we started hanging out without her.”

“Bringing Penelope with us on a date might send people the wrong message,” Spencer countered, a soft chuckle carrying through his tone.

Closing the closet door, you waited until the latch clicked to turn around and face him, “Spencer,” you started, tilting your head to the side but refraining from moving any closer to him. “We can’t,” you stated plainly, shaking your head in disbelief—both at the fact that he was asking you out and at the fact that you were turning him down.

His golden-brown irises studied your face in abject disappointment; he searched your expression for the smallest sign that you were joking. Turning him down to mess with him only to quickly turn around and tell him you’d love to get dinner together. “Sure, we can, there’s no regulation that says two members of the BAU can’t be together. There won’t be as long as Rossi’s around.”

The corner of your mouth quirked up, “That’s not why.” You wracked your brain for a simple explanation. A little white lie would be easier than the messy truth, but every lie eventually circled back to the same thing—to the same person. You’d been so patient in waiting for this moment, living your life on the sidelines while you watched Spencer crush on coworkers and bartenders and waiting for the universe to put you on the same playing field.

Here he was, offering to pull you from the bench, but you weren’t interested. He shifted his weight from left to right, “Then why?”

Naming your issue would require bringing up a subject that had become taboo in the BAU. You found yourself wishing you still had your jean jacket on, the cold in your apartment brought on by freezing Spencer out, “Maeve.” Your one-word answer floated off of your tongue easily, a topic you had wanted to bring up since she died but had avoided for nearly a year now.

You found a spot on the floor and focused on it, desperately needing something to look at other than Spencer’s face as each stage of grief flashed across it. “I want to move on,” he assured you, “It’s time, don’t you think?”

A scoff escaped your throat before you had the chance to reel it in, “I don’t want to be a task to you. There’s no point in me being a checkbox on your therapist’s list.” It broke your heart to turn him down. It killed you to hurt him. It killed you to hurt the bright-eyed girl who fell in love with him on her first day on the job.

“You aren’t,” he insisted. “You wouldn’t be. I’m not doing this for anyone except for myself,” he took a determined step forward and you stumbled backward, and just like that, he had a final answer.

All of the words in the English language, and you couldn’t form a sentence that would concisely explain why you couldn’t go on a date with the love of your life. You shrugged helplessly, allowing yourself to look up at him, trying to unsee the haunted look in his eye that you’d grown accustomed to. It’d been there since the day she died, and you weren’t entirely sure he’d ever be rid of it. “You called her the most beautiful girl in the world,” you reminded him, unsure of why you chose this reason.

He frowned, the crease between his brows so endearing that you nearly forgot about the cracks forming around your heart. “What?”

Chewing on the inside of your lip, you considered your next words carefully, “That’s what you said to Blake, I heard you.”

Spencer looked pained, “She… I didn’t—”

“And you’d never seen her before,” you cut off his explanation. “You called her the most beautiful girl in the world without having any idea what she looked like,” you reminded him of the odd circumstances encircling his relationship with Maeve. Phone booth girl.

“She was my girlfriend,” he offered as if that was explanation enough. It wasn’t lost on you. People had a tendency to speak in hyperbole when they were in love, and despite his excessive rationality, Spencer was no exception.

Running your tongue over your molars, you hummed, “Look, all I know is that if you felt that way about someone you’d never laid eyes on, there’s no room for you to feel that way about me.” You weren’t trying to be brave or considerate, you were frantically trying to build a brick wall between you and Spencer that should’ve been erected years ago.

He shook his head, taking another step toward you, leaving you to back into the kitchen counter, “You don’t mean that.”

Tears started to line your eyes, silver wisps blurring the visage of everything you’ve ever wanted, “You have to understand, Spencer.” The determination in your voice slowly morphed into a plea. You found yourself begging him for mercy, “In my head, we’ve already dated, fallen in love, and broken up. I don’t need to relive that sequence of events.”

“You don’t think we even deserve a chance? Because of Maeve?” He continued to push, poking and prodding at you until you felt like you were going to break apart.

You couldn’t do it. You could no longer allow yourself the luxury of fantasizing about being with him while the skeleton in his closet was pushed up against the door, threatening to break it from its hinges. Your tears slipped down your cheeks, moving in a steady stream as your lips parted to respond, “Because you called her the most beautiful girl in the world, and I’ve been in front of you for eight years waiting for you to notice me.”

It wasn’t that you considered yourself a jealous person. At least, not in the sense that you were jealous of Maeve. You couldn’t be in a relationship where you were always cognizant of the fact that someone else always came first. In the past year, you’d seen the way her death followed Spencer’s every action firsthand, and you couldn’t let her haunt you too.

“Let’s say you mean this and want to be with me; I’ll never live up to her,” you explained yourself to him, hoping to fill the gaping wound in your chest with words that would never be able to repair the damage that was being done to you. “I will never be able to reach the standard that she set,” you told him.

Spencer held a hand up, trying to get you to stop speaking, “That’s not true.”

You waved it off, “Of course it is. Spencer, if not her, then someone else will always come first to you. I’d spend half of our relationship wondering if you’re being forthcoming in your feelings about me, and I refuse to use what’s left of my dignity to stand in front of you and beg for your love.”

“You won’t have to,” he insisted. “I have absolutely no intention of using you as some sort of placeholder.”

Spencer was always good with words. You’ve watched him bend truths and manipulate UnSubs into giving him exactly what he wants. That was what he was doing right now, as surely as you were holding a knife to your own throat, he was asking you to lay down your arms. He didn’t want to hear you out, everything you said to him went unprocessed by that beautiful brain of his, and a feeling of helplessness filled the void. “Do you still carry the book around with you?”

It was like you’d pressed a reset button, his demeanor completely changed when you brought up the book, “What?” He straightened up, pulling his shoulders back as he eyed you nervously.

“The Narrative of John Smith, is it in your bag right now?” You asked him. Spencer’s kinship with books was a trait that had previously fed your fantasy, but for the last year it had only ever been one book. You wanted to scream at him, to tell him off for having the audacity to ask you out while he had that book in his bag. As if the inscription didn’t imply that Spencer and Maeve were destined to be together.

Slowly, Spencer opened his bag, reaching in and pulling out the eerily familiar book. One-hundred and twenty pages of your precarious and unending heartbreak. There was a bookmark placed about halfway through, indicating he was in the middle of his umpteenth reread.

Something about it made you feel so pathetic that you weren’t sure if you wanted to laugh or cry. There was no escaping her, even now. You’d never be able to fully leave her in the past, there would always be the question of whether or not they’d be together had she not died.

Maybe he’d shelve the book someday. Maybe he’d read a book by your favorite author instead of clinging to Arthur Conan Doyle. Maybe he’d stop quoting E.E. Cummings on a daily basis. He just hadn’t reached that stage of grief yet, and part of you thought he’d remain in a permanent state of bargaining. You weren’t willing to be part of the bargain. You weren’t willing to be the one he defaults to just because you have a pulse.

Shaking your head, you walked around him and opened the front door, leaning against it and fidgeting with the deadbolt while you waited for him to get the message, “I can’t take being the last choice.”

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone; we find it with another." - Thomas Merton

[glitterquadricorn]

His name is Chuck - LN4

+summary: what do you get a man that can literally get anything he wants at a moment's notice? why a puppy of course! +pairing: Lando Norris x Reader +warnings: mentions a pregnancy scare, mentions cheating (no cheating happens), semi-edited. a/n: this was supposed to be out months ago... oops. I do not give my permission to have my work reposted. I do not give my permission to have my work translated. If I'm notified that you've stolen my work or claim it as your own, you'll be asked to take it down before I'll report you. End of discussion.

What do you get someone that can afford to get anything their heart desires? It seemed like nothing that came to mind was good enough. She could get him the same thing she did the first year they were together for his birthday, which was a brand new, muted orange, lace lingerie set. But repeat birthday gifts were tacky in her opinion. And it's not like she couldn't get him another one of those boudoir books because the last time she did, it led to a pregnancy scare.

Whenever his birthday did come around, they'd most likely wouldn't even be in Monaco, much less in England. It's sometimes hard to plan things around his racing schedule but she wouldn't have it any other way.

"What are you watching?"

Jumping, placing a hand over her chest, "Jesus Christ, Lando! What is wrong with you!"

Lando laughed as he walked around the couch and sat next to her, noticing she was watching the most recent video Mclaren posted of him playing with puppies. Y/n saw the corners of Lando's mouth turn upwards into a smile. It was at this moment she knew what she was going to get Lando for his birthday. Only problem was where she was going to get it and where she was going to keep it until his birthday.

"I had a lot of fun playing with those puppies," he paused. "It makes me wish we weren't so busy traveling to and from countries for races, you know?"

"I can rearrange and clear some things from my schedule so I could be with the dog at all times."

"There's no need to do that, love."

Y/n saw a flash of sadness in Lando's eyes before he rested his head on her shoulder. Despite him saying she didn't need to move things around; she wanted to because that's what you do when you love someone. So, when Lando went off to go stream with Max, she texted Alex.

y/n -> albonooo

how much do you love me?

albonooo -> y/n

what did you do?

y/n -> albonooo

it's not about what I did, but what I'm about to do.

I need a huge favor.

albonooo -> y/n

I feel like I'm about to regret hearing you out but carry on.

y/n -> albonooo

Lando's birthday is coming up and everyone knows that Lando is a hard man to shop for. Mclaren recently did a video playing with puppies and I wanted to get him a puppy for his birthday.

albonooo -> y/n

okay, so what does this have to do with me?

y/n -> albonooo

I'm glad you asked!

When I get the puppy, I need somewhere to put them until his actual birthday.

albonooo -> y/n

Why me though?

y/n -> albonooo

if you and Lily got another animal no one would question it. In case you forgot, you guys practically have a zoo.

albonooo -> y/n

fair.

Now that she had a place to put the puppy once she got it, the next step was to talk to someone over at Battersea. The first phone call she made, no one answered. No one answering wasn't that big of a deal since they were probably busy, and she'd just call back later. When she called back hours later, the woman she spoke to was less than helpful. In fact, she wasn't really directing her in the direction she wanted to go, and the frustration was growing by the minute. Her fingers rubbed her temple, wondering if getting Lando a puppy for his birthday was a good idea.

And the search for a puppy didn't get any better as the weeks went by. Every time she thought she had found the perfect puppy, something would happen, and she'd be back at square one. But just as she was ready to give up and throw the towel in, she had gotten a call from her aunt saying a friend of hers' dog had puppies five weeks ago and could come and pick one out.

There's just one issue.

This person was in England and she's in Monaco.

When she told Lando she wasn't able to attend the Brazilian GP because of a business meeting back in England, he had reassured her it was fine, but she could tell from his eyes he was a little upset. Seeing that look in his eyes made her feel guilty for lying to him since she's never lied to him about anything in their relationship. She had to remind herself that it's a gift for this birthday and it'll be one that he'll never forget.

Arriving in England, the drive to her aunt's friend's house was long since they lived pretty far out, but she didn't mind as she watched the landscape change from the bustling city where houses were stacked on top of each other to the wide-open meadows of the quiet English countryside.

Soon, the uber was turning onto the long rocky driveway leading up to a large stone home covered ivy. Standing outside was a man who she assumed to be her aunt's friend.

The man held his hand out for her to shake. "You must be y/n! My name is Richard."

"That's me," she smiled. Richard led them in the house and into the sunroom where the sound of puppies playing warmed her heart. "Oh, my goodness! They're all so cute!"

Richard stood off to the side, "If have you any questions, don't hesitate to ask."

"What breed of dog are they?" she asked, sitting down on the floor. The puppies surrounded her until she threw a ball, but there was one that didn't move from her side.

"Jack Russell Terrier." Richard smiled when the one dog that didn't move from her side crawled into her lap and fell asleep. "Seems like you've been chosen."

"Seems like it."

A warm fuzzy feeling washed over her body as she gently scratched behind the sleeping puppy. In her heart she just knew this was the dog for Lando. Pulling an orange collar from her pocket, she fastened it around his neck, making sure it wasn't too tight.

"You got a name picked out?" Richard said, pushing off the door frame, gesturing to her to follow him.

"No. I'll let my boyfriend pick a name since it's going to be his birthday present."

"A puppy is quite the birthday gift."

"Yeah, but when Lando did that video with those puppies, I could see that look of longing for a puppy, but with our schedules it was not practical for us to get a puppy. Now that things have settled a bit, I want to get him the puppy I know he wants."

Richard reached into a drawer and handed her a manila envelope. "Everything you need is in there."

"Thanks again for this. I was beginning to think I wasn't going to find a puppy in time."

"It's not a problem, y/n." Richard came from around the desk, "Let me walk you out."

The two quietly talked about how the season was going as they walked to the front of the house, but the feeling of anxiety was there. And that anxiety feeling was still there when she knocked on the door of Alex's apartment to drop the puppy and supplies off.

"Alex, please tell me I'm not crazy for getting Lando a puppy for his birthday."

Alex, who gently scratched behind the puppy's ear, "Oh! You're for sure crazy-"

From further in the apartment, Lily shouted, "Ignore him, y/n. I think it's cute you got Lando a dog for his birthday."

Alex watched as the woman shifted her weight from left to right, mumbling under her breath and waving her arms around frantically. "Y/n, listen. Lando has been wanting a puppy for the longest time, so this is a good gift."

"You think so?"

"Yes! Now head home before he finds out you've been here."

The reassurance from Alex made the anxiety she was feeling fall off her shoulders. And as she walked down the hall towards the elevator, she crossed her fingers' hoping Alex was right because at this point, there was no going back.

One of the hardest things she's ever done was keep this big of a secret from Lando. There were a few times were she nearly slipped but thankfully caught herself. But Lando clocked her nervousness and made a mental note of her odd behavior. It wasn't like y/n to act this way, so did something happen? Did she cheat and was hiding it from him?

As it got closer to his birthday, she got more fidgety, which again was not like her. Y/n wouldn't cheat on him, would she? No. She wouldn't. He knows her better than herself. Maybe it was something else, and his mind was just making things up.

Lando woke the morning of his birthday and instinctively reached over to the other side of the bed and noticed you weren't there. Instead, was a note.

If you wake up and I'm not there, I only went to pick up your birthday present from Alex. This is around the time you say, 'she didn't have to get me anything,' but I did. I wanted to. I'll be home shortly.

Love, y/n.

He laid there wondering what y/n got him that she had to go pick up from Alex. It had to have been something big that she couldn't have just kept at their place. But then again, if she did keep it at their place, he probably would've found it and ruined the surprise.

"Listen, when I left this morning daddy was still sleeping, so we got to be quiet."

daddy? what?

The door to their shared bedroom slowly opened and the head of his girlfriend peaked from around the corner to check to see if he was still sleeping and when he wasn't, the door quickly closed.

Lando tossed the covers back, walking over to the door. There stood y/n, but his eyes instantly went to the puppy in her arms. "Uh... who's dog is that?"

"You weren't supposed to be awake, but he's yours."

"Mine? What do you mean?"

"Remember when I said I had a business meeting back in England and couldn't go to the Brazilian gp? I did go back to England, but it wasn't for a business meeting. It was to go get this little fella."

"You got me a dog for my birthday?"

"Yeah," she nodded her head, handing the puppy over to Lando. "I could tell you wanted one when you did that video with puppies at MTC, so I went above and beyond to get you a puppy."

"Does he have a name?"

"I've been calling him Chuck because an actor from a tv show I watched as a kid and their name was Chuck Norris."

"Chuck. His name is Chuck."

---

tagging:

@patzammit @mrspeacem1nusone @alexxavicry @catswag22 @eugene-emt-roe @bibissparkles @cherry-piee @khaylin27 @evie-119 @green-thots @2pagenumb @myescapefromthislife @ironmaiden1313 @lottalove4evelyn @mynameisangeloflife @newlifeforus @jxnellat @loloekie @c-losur3 @czennieszn @d3kstar @reiofsuns2001 @sweate-r-weathe-r @itsjustkhaos @hiireadstuff

[starboye]

your fav couple (although not a couple according to rafe) weird!reader who gets weirder when drunk and in the hands of rafe

although he wanted to leave you in your bed and get out before you started your weird shit again he was the one who took you to the bar in the first place so he's your responsibility now

and good god was this more like a battle, rafe struggling to get you into a shower without it turning physical "no i dont wanna" you pout "you need to take a shower y/n you fucking reek" rafe demands trying to get your shirt off but you were persistant

"ill get in if you take one with me" you stand your ground (well more like sit as you were just arms crossed pouting on the toilet seat) "fine just hurry up" he rolls his eyes and takes off his clothes before doing the same with you

he wanted to be in and out with this shower but you had other plans, peeking out the shower to grab his phone and start playing music, queue you having a full on dance party while rafe contemplates why he still fucks you and his whole life up until this point

just to get startled when you pinch his nipples before your face turns to a sad face like a toddler who just watched their ice cream fall to the ground "why no milk come out" bottom lip poked out looking all disappointed and sad "yup you're done" rafe turns off the shower and pulls you both out

quickly drying himself off before struggling to even dry your upper body off without you breaking out into dance and song, a look of annoyance on his face "chat do you think im still getting laid tonight" you laugh "nope" rafe says with a deadpanned face "chat do you think he's serious" you say

after finally getting you dried off and in some pajamas he puts you in your bed and starts to grab his stuff to leave "wait don't leave me" you beg him "nope i said id get you in bed not sleep in bed with you"rafe shakes his head "well if you think about it you got me drunk in the first place and secondly i hid your keys" you smirk "y'know what im not even gonna ask where they are" he responds looking at the devious smirk on your face

"come search for them pretty boy" you smile widely lifting the blanket to let him in to which he does with a little attitude "can we watch tiktok on your phone mines dead" you ask "go to bed" rafe tell you "c'mon you know i need my nightly scroll please please please please" you pester him until he finally gives up

"fine 20 minutes and then you go to sleep" rafe demands and you nod... turns out you stayed up all night scrolling and now rafes for you page is completely destroyed by your weird tiktoks.

(sorry if this one is a little to long i got into it to much)

[rainytapestry]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ★ㅤㅤi love you, im sorry ㅤ ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

summary. two oblivious friends and the 3 words left unspoken.

aka inspired from the prompt “you’ve been talking about this crush for months now, when are you going to just go for it?” “i don’t think i can…” by @novelbear

pairing. jake x f!readerㅤ

wc. 2k

genre. fluff , crush to friends to lovers , college au , (mutual?)pining , jake is just dumb , hee is a brat(affectionate) , jealousy(??) , apparent one sided crush

warnings. profanity , not proof read , crusty aah writing , fries dipped in coke , drinking (like once)

notes. hi this is my first work on this account and i havent written anything in almost a year lmao so pls bear w me :"3 this was a word vomit and i have no idea what i yapped in the ending so :D!? happy reading ^0^

‘So, how’s it going with him?’ Jake asks as he places his lunch tray beside yours at the college cafeteria. You look up from your phone to meet his hopeful eyes, ‘who…?’ ‘Omg, Y/N, your crush!? You’ve been talking about this crush for months now, when are you going to just go for it?’

You almost choke on your coffee, from when did Jake have such an interest in your so-called crush. The “mystery guy” as your friend group likes to call him. Little did they know that the boy in question was sitting right beside you and yeah, it wouldn’t be the wisest decision to let that out.

‘I… don’t think I can’, you answered hesitantly, that was the closest to the truth you could give Jake and you hated lying to your friend, especially when feelings were involved, feelings involving… him.

Maybe if you weren’t so close with him, it would have been easier to handle the overwhelming urge to confess to him, hold his hand and softly kiss his cheek. But life was definitely playing a cruel joke on you when your small hallway crush turned out to be your seatmate in freshman year, two years ago.

It was almost impossible not to be friends with Jake from then on. You found yourself talking to each other in class, which eventually led to exchanging numbers and the rest was history. He had this inborn kindness in him, which perfectly complemented his pretty face, the happiness that radiated off him was quite infectious. And with each day that you got to know him, you fell a little more in love with him.

'C'mon Y/N, it's worth a try plus most chances are he'd like you back, right?' you dont, Jake. 'Plus, I'm always here in case of any help. I know our friends may keep making jokes on it but I totally understand you', he ends with a small shy smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, you don't know why.

But you want to scream at his face STOP! Stop making it so hard for me to move on, Jake. Instead you return his smile, or at least you try, before quickly stuffing your face with your lunch, making it impossible for him to continue the previous conversation. Talk about healthy coping mechanisms...?

The slip up had just been a drunken mistake. It was one of those stupid drinking games Yunjin had roped you into and soon enough, you were mildly intoxicated or just way too lovesick to admit to your crush. You couldn't ignore the bitterness in your stomach every time a girl approached Jake at the party.

‘Okay, Y/N, drink up if you like someone present here’, Sunghoon passed you a mischievous smirk, which oddly enraged you, or maybe it was the alcohol already in your system. Before you knew it, you were drowning down the cup in your hand, gripping it tightly as if that’ll give you an ounce of strength. You gave one glimpse at Jake who had a concerned expression on his face.

Someone else, probably Yunjin, excitedly asked, ‘Omg who?! And how do I not know?’

Since then it has been a challenge in your friend group to “search” for him if they ever felt bored. You wonder who else can ever attract such an unemployed friend group, it is honestly a bit funny to see them try.

Your train of thoughts is broken when you feel someone sitting beside you, it’s Heeseung. ‘You know, staring at him from afar won’t do any good’, he shrugs. Alarmed, you look at him motioning towards where Jake is currently playing on the football field. You often find yourself sitting at the bleachers, after class waiting for him.

‘Hey! What d-do you mean?!’ you sputter, totally caught off guard at his words. How does Heeseung even know? No, how can he even get the slightest idea that you like Jake? You thought your masking skills were actually pretty good.

The boy gave you a small chuckle, 'you really think you are very sneaky and nonchalant about your crush don’t you? I’m surprised how our friends and even Jake haven't caught up to it.’

This little shit. You hit him with one of your books. ‘Woah, stop, at least I haven’t exposed you in front of them!’ He raises his hands in defense.

Well, he does have a point. He could have won whatever bet your friends had going on you, but he didn’t. ‘Okay, fine, thank you Heeseung for your kind gracious favour’, you roll your eyes at him. ‘That’s more like it, brat.’ You stick out your tongue in return.

You rest your back on the bench, your eyes naturally following the brunette as he scores another goal, a small smile tugging at your face. ‘But in all honesty, I think there’s a hole on Jake’s back with the entire staring contest you have going on.’ ‘fuck off if you can’t help.’

Heeseung sighs, ‘the only advice for this is for you to confess, a relationship isn't gonna form itself.’ ‘He’s my friend, do you see everything on the line?’ ‘And do you see that he could possibly like you back?’ he raises his eyebrows.

Yeah, the false hope, being delusional did not seem like a fun choice right now. You would have pushed Heeseung out of the bleachers if it weren’t for Jake running towards both of you, a weird look on his face, ‘Why are my two friends strangling each other?’ he yells over the stands. Heeseung ruffles your hair, ‘Friendly banter! By the way, you two want to grab dinner with me? His practice is almost over too.’

Something in your gut tells you that Heeseung may be up to no good and the shit eating grin that follows his requests, probably confirms your suspicions.

But Jake beats you to the reply, ‘Of course, I’m kinda starving. I need my extra fries.’

Something shifts in the air once the three of you are out of the campus. For starters, Heeseung finds it very funny to annoy you and Jake has this distant look on his face from earlier. He’s also very quiet and Jake is never silent, especially with Heeseung.

Once you enter the restaurant, you and Jake take your places in a corner booth. You sit across from him. ‘Hey, was everything okay at uni? You seem down.’ He finally makes eye contact with you, you have no idea why he refused to meet your eyes before, ‘Yes, Y/N, just a little tired.’ He retreats back to his previous positions.

You nod, not convinced with his explanation when a thought comes up. Did he… hear you both?! Nonono, he can’t! You’ll be beyond cooked and losing a close friend must not be a nice feeling. Yeah, he most definitely did but you cannot lose your shit in public so you try distracting yourself. You nervously look around, hoping for Heeseung, who was at the counter, to finally come and break the silence.

Goodness, this thick uncomfortable silence or is it the greasy smell of fast food oil? No, it is definitely the silence between the both of you which is really unheard of in your relation.

You finally see a figure approaching, balancing the three orders, and a small grin on his face. ‘Here we go, people.’ he takes a seat beside you and Heeseung doesn’t miss the subtle change in Jake’s expression, smirking at the latter.

‘Omg, Y/N, you should try the fries dipped in coke.’ ‘you are fucking disgusting, Lee Heeseung, get away from me’, you scrunch your nose in disgust but not before the boy pushes some soaked fries at your direction, making you gag.

Seeing the exchange, Jake hastily picks up the fry, removing it, and instead replacing it with his normal, not soaked in coke fries. The insult you were about to hurl at Heeseung dies in your throat, looking up at the boy who is back to quietly eating his burger.

What has gotten into him?

'I'm so full', Heeseung stretches walking out of the place into the cool night air. 'Ok then, see yall later, I'll head this way', nodding his head. You bid him goodbye when he mouthes something you're unsure of. go. for. it. before giving sly smirk and walking off.

You stand confused in your place, and realize that Jake has been silent for so long. You turn around to see him already walking down the footpath. You sigh deeply, tired with his weird actions before catching up to him.

'Yah Jake hold up!' he hears your voice call out behind him, stopping on his tracks. You stop your jog, slightly catching your breath. 'No why the hell am I chasing you in the middle of the road? Please drop this act.'

He turns around abruptly, face to face with you and you realize the distance between the both of you, your heart picking up its pace. Jake's face is unreadable, his eyes are closed off and expresionless. You are about to ask another question when he– 'Is Heeseung the one you like?' His eyes seem dead set. Despite yourself, you can't help but break into a chuckle.

Were you reading the situation right? 'Help what?! Not that dumbass, hell no. You know for someone as smart as you, you really are oblivious.' And it all starts to click in, Jake's rough behavior, his distant stares, and the glares he was throwing at Heeseung.

'Are you... jealous?' You ask, trying to peer into his eyes for something... anything. Jake shakes his head, raking a hand through his hair, 'It's no problem if you date him obviously, he's good guy, plus I think you look really cute together and I want the best–' 'I like you', you blurt out in middle of Jake's long ramble, freezing in your place.

Did you just–?! No how did you mouth even speak without coordinating with your brain? Your eyes widening in shock, Jake's expression is pretty much the same (oh here goes your friendship) before you see the shift in his face. Shock slowly giving way to a more shy face.

'What...?' 'Um, sorry, I messed it up so bad didn't I?' You may as well confess now that he knows. 'I... have liked you for the longest time, Sim Jaehyun and it is not easy to hide all these feelings when you're standing right here. I know I'll probably mess up our entire friendship but I can't lose you.'

there. here comes the rejection. you shuffle in your feet, resisting the urge to dash in the opposite direction. 'Is this real?' he says instead.

You look up to face him and his face has broken into a bright smile, and suddenly it's hard for you to breath because why are you seeing your crush beaming at you when you just confessed your feelings.

Suddenly you feel a pair of lips on yours, catching you off guard. Oh this cannot be happening. You melt into the kiss immediately, reveling at the feeling. Your rapid heartbeat has stilled, almost in tandem with his.

This kiss is short lived but it leaves you feeling breathless. 'Are we seriously this dumb? I... I like you too', Jake's the one to break the silence, placing a hand on your cheek.

You feel a small flower bloom in your chest at his words. He tugs at your hands, pulling you close, into a hug.

Resting your face at the crook of his neck, you mutter, 'We're in the middle of the road, we should move.' Although the lanes were empty, save for a few passing cars.

'I know but I like it here', Jake says softly and you can almost see the pout forming. Yeah you'd stay this way forever if it meant never letting him go.

reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated :D

work belongs to @ rainytapestry don't steal

[unpaws-your-job]

i had nothing better to do, so transcribed the lyrics to the OFF remake song White Meat!

i read a comment on youtube that lead me to searching for it and after digging a bit, happened to end on this tumblr post, which was the only place i cared enough to look for that had an accurate transcription of the midway through interlude-thing of Billy Murray & Ed Smalle's That Old Gang Of Mine (1923) (linked to the specific video i used since it sounded clear enough for me, at around the 1:30 mark)

and it's in fact the song that Toby Fox sampled for the background vocals on White Meat!

so now i decided to transcribe it and color coding it, with the original lyrics at the bottom of the post.

starting at 0:43:

Gee, those were happy days. Gee, those were happy days. Gee, those were happy days. Gee, those were-

then at 1:12:

--the gang. Those pals of yours and mine were the first of the bunch to fall into line. --ball-bearing skates and a bike. --kids in a group? can't you remember us kids in a group? --member us --member us kids in a group? [slightly pitch shifted down]

Gee, those were happy days.

and then it loops back.

and here's the original lyrics, with the parts used color-coded:

Take a peek at that lamp post, the old pump, and that, too! Say, can’t you remember us kids in a group? There was Shortie and Red –

– and Skinny and Mike, and the rich kid with the ball-bearing skates and a bike.

Gee, those were happy days. You remember the parties and dances? That’s why we didn’t notice the years drifting by. And the first thing we knew, we were all 21…

…but the gang stuck together in fight or in fun!

And then came the war, the crowds in the street, the blast of the bugles, the tramp of the feet! And the gang. Those pals of yours and mine were the first of the bunch to fall into line. Say, what’s the matter, buddy? There’s a tear in your eye.

ADDENDUM ONE DAY LATER:

after listening to it for a while and rechecking ten gorillion times already and i genuinely think i'm probably hallucinating this but i think it's actually

--ball-bearing skates- --fight- --kids in a group? --can't you remember us kids in a group?

WHAT????????????

[villa-dellamorte]

Who Said What in the Cut Romance Post Fade-Prison Dialogues

So I couldn't stop thinking about the cut dialogues from what I assume is a data dive that @merrinla posted. I wanted to take a swing at figuring out who each line belongs to.

First: Why it was cut

My best guess as to why this was cut is maybe there was supposed to be another quest between the fade prison and the final battle against Elgar'nan. Maybe the possible cut rescue quest that people have speculated about? Anyway, I think that having this dialogue, then the quest, then the bow-chika-wow romance scene, then the final quest would have made for good pacing, but who knows 🤷‍♀️

Opening Dialogue

Rook: Solas? (?): We're not sure. Probably searching for some way to defeat Elgar'nan. (?): We don't know. Not really. We were so busy looking for you we… lost track.

I think that these two (?) lines have to be between Emmrich and Lucanis for logistical reasons (i.e., the only three that are definitely going to be in the party/Lighthouse after Tearstone Island are Emmrich, Lucanis and Taash, but these dialogues just... aren't written in Taash's voice lol).

[Paraphrase] option: It's been two weeks. Rook: I was… what? Two weeks? option: A two-week long day. Rook: Apparently my hard day lasted two weeks.

My thoughts about this: the first option is probably the crying/empathetic option or thumbs up/agreeable option, and the second one is obviously the purple option. I wonder if a stoic/stern or otherwise third option would have been added or is buried in the data somewhere?

LI Worries About Rook

(?): Yes, you were gone two weeks. Which means you need rest, food, and water.

My assumption is that this is the dialogue that the player gets if the player hasn't romanced anyone. This has got to be Lucanis. Here's my reasoning: one, again, for logistics, the best choice for this line is between Emmrich, Taash, and Lucanis. This is not written in Taash's voice, and while I could see this as something Emmrich might say, it fits Lucanis so well. He is the mom of the group, and already is coded as Rook's BFF even in a non-romance playthrough, and the quick-to-the-chase attitude works for him, I think.

(Emmrich?): Yes, my love. Which is why you shouldn't rush out just yet.

I agree that this is mostly likely Emmrich's line. It seems like the logistic-safe companion dialogue options are placed first in this list, which makes sense, and Emmrich is notorious for his terms of endearment for Rook.

(?): Enough of this. You need food and rest. We'll talk business later.

I think this is Lucanis. This is Lucanis's way of caring for a romanced Rook-- making sure they are fed and taken care of. Plus, it leads into the follow-up line well (see below).

(Taash?): Yeah. So you need rest. We can talk about the other crap later. Davrin: We'll talk about this later. You need some rest and Assan needs feeding.

Yeah, this is definitely Taash and Davrin.

(?): Everyone please stop. Rook needs rest, and… food, probably…

So, with Davrin we're getting into the list of characters who are not logistically safe. That means this one is likely Bellara: the tone fits a shaken Bellara who has just lost Rook AND Neve, and also fits the clear followup well (see below).

(?): Yeah. A lot happened. But it can wait. Until you've had some rest. (?): Yeah. There's a lot to catch up on. After you rest, anyway.

If my guesses are right so far, that means this is either Neve or Harding. These last two lines could really fit either of them. I think that the slightly more hesitant tone of the latter one makes it fit Harding better.

LI Follow Up

Rook: Thanks, Bellara. Bellara: Of course. I'm here for you. Whenever you're ready.

This one is why the "everyone stop" line seems like Bellara's to me. Rook has got to be overwhelmed and hungry and exhausted after everything, and is thanking Bellara for noticing that.

Rook: Lucanis… Lucanis: Go get some sleep before you collapse. If anybody knows how bad that is, it's me.

This Lucanis follow up is why I think his line is the "enough of this" one. Again, he is putting Rook's wellbeing first-- which, is also SO sweet for "crow-always-puts-the-contract-first" Lucanis. Ugh!

Rook: Taash… Taash: You need rest. I'll make you tea. Do you want ginger or lavender? Rook: Emmrich, I can't… Emmrich: Please. For the sake of one who's missed your company.

These are quite obvious and fit the preceding lines well, and are both equally sweet and caring. I love them!!

Rook: Rest? There's so much… (?): There always is. Don't worry. I won't start without you.

Rook: I can't rest, there's too much— (?): Who knows you best?

I'm tossing these back and forth between Neve and Davrin. I'm assuming the first one is Davrin: because what would anyone else be starting? So I'm thinking it's Davrin talking about feeding Assan? LOL. And the second one feels like Neve, best detective in Minrathous.

Rook: But there's so much to— (?): Please, Rook. For me.

This leaves the last one to be Harding. But it could easily fit any of the companions, really.

Player Dialogue Choice

option: Then let's all take a break. Rook: Everything you've done, you all deserve a rest as much as I do. option: Not too long Rook: The gods can wait a little while longer. Rook: Not for too long. But fine, I'll go rest. And hey, it's nice of you to care.

I would guess the paraphrases here are for the thumbs up/agreeable choice and the second is the stoic/stern one. The "hey, it's nice of you to care" is probably coded to happen no matter which choice, because of the next lines:

Close

These all seem to be written to occur no matter who is romanced, because of Taash's:

(?): You're quite welcome.

Polite, well-mannered speech? Yup, it's Emmrich.

Davrin (?): Assan will be happy to see you.

Definitely Davrin.

(?): It didn't feel right with you gone.

This feels like something Bellara would say, especially with how emotional she already is in this scene.

(?): Yep. What they said.

I'm stuck on this one between Taash and Harding. One on hand, the clippy, aloof attitude seems like Taash. But the little "Yep" could be Harding, too.

(?): It's good to have you back. (?): I'm so glad we got you back. (?): Rest well, Rook.

That leaves these three a toss-up between Neve, Lucanis, and Harding/Taash. If the "yep" is Harding, I think the "it's good to have you back" would fit Taash, and since the theme of Lucanis's lines here seem to be focused on sleeping, the "rest well" may work for him.

(?): I'll see you in a bit.

This is probably a catch-all line for all companions to say depending on who's romanced.

[animinarts]

Everyone has been talking about Shouma and Hanto so I decided it's time for me to rant about them now since the reveals are out:

Since the beginning, these two have already had a chance to encounter each other, no matter what. Hanto was hunting down the Granute that took his mom, while Shouma had been fighting against the Granutes since he came to the human world

So when they finally started interacting more, it felt sort of rewarding to finally see the main and secondary characters working together despite not knowing everything. Even when Hanto became a Kamen Rider himself after his mentor passed away, their first meetings were set up hilariously

In a way, Shouma and Hanto are opposites of each other yet also have their similarities. Shouma was locked up his whole life in the Granute world unable to explore the outside. Hanto meanwhile was exposed to the real world ever since he lost all his family members which got him into trouble like joining a gang in high school. Their only source of happiness in their childhoods were their mothers who were both taken away from them by the Granutes

Then came the identity reveal episode and I started thinking about how the episode could've moved the story in different directions. For starters, Shouma could have revealed everything right then and there which will explain why he's fighting in the first place. Yet Shouma decided to hide his half-Granute self away since he learned about Hanto's deep hatred for them

The confusing part is if Shouma knew that it was risky to hide such a big secret from Hanto, why choose to stay by his side and fight alongside him? Shouma could've pushed him away to keep the distance between them so the eventual fallout wouldn't be as impactful. But instead, Shouma chose to play with fire and got burned in the process. Even in the episode of the reveal when Hanto offers to shake his hand there's clear hesitance in Shouma's actions before he eventually commits to the friendship

Shouma had grown up in a world where only his mother provided him any source of happiness so being able to make friends in the human world is a huge deal for Shouma. But his half-Granute side keeps him from forming deeper connections with any of them

Moving on to Hanto, his reaction to the reveal in my opinion is totally justified. Shouma was the only person he could trust and the only person that cared about him and hearing from someone else about his secret must've hurt. I feel as though his anger came more from the betrayal that Shouma didn't tell him the truth. They've been through a lot together and Hanto even had his doubts about Shouma but brushed most of them off cause he trusted him. Then finding out that Shouma hid such a big secret kept from him must have been devastating. Due to this misunderstanding and the addition of Bitter Gavv in this upcoming episode, I fear that more pain is to come

The other thing that's intertwined with them is Shouma having memories about Hanto's mother. This is just a theory but I believe that maybe Hanto's mom helped Shouma back to his own mother but sacrificed herself in the process. Meaning that she had saved his life when he was a child which would make the repressed memories make more sense since he saw someone get killed in front of him when he was younger. It is only a theory though and I'm curious to see where they go with it

The thing that hurts me the most is that through these past 10 episodes, they really showed just how much they truly cared for each other. Especially with Hanto. In the episode when the Caking form was released, he had searched for Shouma till nightfall and helped him back to Hapipare, he had told Shouma to promise him that he won't die on him, he had rushed to Shouma's side after the Caking form wore him out. To top it all off the Christmas episodes just told us straight up that they cared for one another by making sacrifices for the other using a book as a reference

All of this led to the reveal where everything starts to fall apart

Anyway this is getting long

[thaenad]

do u have any advice for building feedist community? esp a queer/trans one. i’ve been lurking for ages but i think it’d b really fulfilling to actually do something about it

I can share how I did it! before starting anything, I named the group (abundance), created a poster with a cute logo on it, and marketed it as a LGBTQ2IA+ and fat liberationist group. I mostly took to feabie, I posted the flyer, put it in my bio description, and then using the location search, I began following people in my area. feabie actually allows you to search by gender and sexual orientation, so I did seek out some queer people in the beginning. I regularly posted messages to the timeline advertising my group with a link to a screening application - a google form with screening questions asking potential members what they want to get out of the group, what would make them feel safest to take part in it, as well as some questions regarding privilege, fat liberation, and consent. this is just a precaution to make sure everyone joining has a mutual understanding of how to participate in a group setting with safety and respect, and consideration for our most vulnerable community members (bc goodness knows there are some creeps on feabie). once folks pass the screening, I email them with a link to our discord server in an initial welcome message describing my intentions for the group and why finding community and spreading fat liberation is so important to our lives. the discord server is where we all communicate and plan events. the first event I planned was a potluck in the park, which took place last may. I highly recommend starting events in the summer where folks can hang out in a safe public space for free. as the group was expanding, I did a lotta reblogging on tumblr, including sharing it to my @fatliberation blog which has way more traction. I also created a group on the queer app lex which brought in a few members as well! HOWEVER. I do live in chicago, where there is a high concentration of feedists. if you aren't near a big city this might be more difficult, but I would encourage starting an online group if that's the case! also, it may surprise you just how many feedists live in your area. I thought that I would be lucky if I got close to 15 people to sign up, but as of today, there have been 58. not only from chicago, but all over the midwest. out of those 58 applications, 45 joined the discord. out of those 45, only 20ish people are active, and out of those 20ish people, usually less than ten people show up to events. but that smaller core group has become an amazing group of close friends. It will take time. so many months of preparation and networking. I think it took close to 7-8 months to get enough interest for that first meeting in may, and since then it has taken almost another year to get into a groove and get to know each other. but after that initial potluck, the ball kept rolling so easily. feedist community is life-changing magic. I had a dream that someday I could have that, so I took a lot of risks to make it happen - all while alone, lost, anxious, unsure if any of it would come together or if I was going about things the right way, just flat-out raw dogging it and carving a path. and it was the best risk I've ever taken. I feel overwhelmingly supported by my peers. I sincerely wish you the best and hope with all my might that you find your community. let me know if I can answer any questions you have along the way.

[nenynrawrites]

Insecure

Summary: Axl reads over a part of the reader's stories, which sent him into a spiral of self-doubt. Unbeknownst to him, it was about him all along.

Wordcount: 1513 words

Warnings: Angst, otherwise fluff

A/N: Finally done @tobbesdiscordkitten ! I hope you like what I did:> // He was always such a beauty<3

,,Fuck, look at you...Looking so smart...''

,,Says you. You're the smart one here!''

,,Yeah, but you're the one concentrating and I'm not really...''

Axl knew about you writing as a hobby, and whenever he got the chance to watch, he'll just do, just like right now: You were laying sideways on your shared be, head perched on one hand, the other busy writing your thoughts down. And he scooped in right behind you, leaving light kisses wherever he could reach. ,,What'd you say did you call those hot stories? Smut?'' He was curious. It hadn't been long since you two dated, about a year, but it took much for you to tell him about all those notebooks you owned. ,,Yeah, smut. But I haven't written one in ages...'', you answered, shortly stopping your writing to take Axl's hand, which was resting on your hip, in yours. ,,Could I be of help?'', he asked, resting your hands closer to your tummy. ,,Maybe'', you answered, curious as to what his idea was, ,,What'd you have in mind?''

No answer, just actions. Axl started to trace little shapes over your tummy, holding out on certain spots you liked it the most. Your breathing picked up, just like his, but he always found a way to not show it. Little nips on your neck as your hand went to search for his again, but it was nowhere to be found. Actually, Axl wasn't anywhere to be found either.

,,Axl? Where are you?''

One second he was there, the next second, he was gone. As if he didn't exist in the first place. But then you heard a sound: ,,Do you think she'll be mad at me if I say now?''

You could hear his voice, another faint one in reach. Was he calling Beta? What was going on?

,,Axl? Why did you leave?'' You were now standing in the kitchen in front of Axl who had just hung up the phone, a puzzled and guilty looking expression on his face. ,,I...Don't wanna talk about it...'' He felt defeated. The sad tone in his voice was indicator enough for you to know, that he wished to tell about it, but just couldn't get himself to. And it hurt you, too. ,,Baby, if you wanna talk, just say, okay?'' The wait was long but he finally answered: ,,Yeah, yeah...''

~-~

Everything felt weird. It's been a few days since Axl's call to, what you now know, Beta. But neither of you touched onto the mysterious topic. But you knew it must've been about you.

Axl had been in his music room the whole morning, quietly playing some notes on the piano as to not wake you up. But he wasn't searching for new music, no: It was more a distraction, from what you might possibly think about him.

,,Hey, do you have a minute?'' Your question was hesitant, feeling forbidden. But you had to know what was going on. As much as he didn't show it, it was killing him inside. ,,Yeah, what's up?'' His was just as hesitant, if not even more. He looked so scared, it felt as if you were dreaming. ,,Something's going on with you. I don't know what it is, but I know it's about me'', you said, your voice serious but sad, holding his hand in yours. Would you be mad if he told you the truth? After all, you were worried about him. But at what cost?

,,You're gonna hate me for this'', he answered, shyly, barely above a whisper. If his head hadn't been on your should, you would've heard it. Axl was taking deep breaths, absentmindedly playing with the knuckles of your fingers, something else that occupied his mind. ,,I have a suspicion on what you're sad about'', you stated, looking into his tired eyes, pulling him closer.

,,I won't hate you.'' His eyes showed a little bit of hope as he sat up properly, still holding your hand. ,,Take your time, yeah?'', you said, putting some of his hair behind his ear. ,,It...Is you...Like...Not your fault, but maybe I'm taking it too personal...'', he answered with a sigh, his breath stocking. ,,Hey, hey there, baby, don't cry!'' The scene in front of your was heartbreaking: He didn't meant o, but the whole situation made him feel bad. Weak, even. It made him feel weak...

~-~

You two left it at that point. Axl didn't have the strength to continue talking and you didn't dare to ask on. But you soon figured out what exactly could've been the cause.

,,You're not gonna cuddle?'' It was around 1 AM when you and Axl finally went to bed, but the usual cuddle-and-fall-asleep-together session was met with a cold shoulder from him. ,,I'm...Good.'' He wasn't. Still, you scooted as close as he'd let you, holding his hand and falling asleep like that. It wasn't much but at least it was something.

~-~

,,Y/N? I think we can talk...If you got a minute.''

,,Yeah, I do. Wanna sit down?'

,,Yeah...''

Sitting on opposite sides of the sofa, Axl held tightly onto one of the many pillows laying there, his knuckles turning white from gripping so strongly. ,,Again, take your time, I wouldn't wanna rush you'', you reassured him, holding his hand again. ,,I...Got jealous from your stories. Remember a few days ago when you were writing? I was curious, so I read a little passage, and...I guess the description threw me off, you know, and...I overreacted. I'm sorry'', he ended with look into your eyes, tears building up. ,,Which passage exactly?'', you asked. You knew what he meant, btu you wanted the confirmation from him. ,,Should I tell you something about this?''

Axl perked up. He thought you'd go off on him, about being stupid to react like that. But no. Once again, you moved closer to him, removing the pillow and replacing it with your hand on his waist, a gesture that always helped him calm down.

,,What about it?'' The sadness was gone, replaced by curiousness. ,,That passage you read was about a character that was based on you, you know? So I guess you didn't really recognise it and in turn, felt bad about it. Or, well...Insecure. You that that character would be better than you, didn't ya?''

On one hand, he knew what you were talking about. On the other hand, he asked himself, how somebody gets jealous of their own person. But at the same time: He wasn't that you and agile anymore. He just turned 40, for goodness sake! No wonder he felt...Insecure about all of this. ,,Baby?'', he started, picking the pillow up again, but never letting your hand fall from his side. ,,This might sound dumb, but...I'm sorry for being insecure...I didn't mean to, really! It's just that...I just don't look like I used to, and...I've been trying not to think about it, you know? I'm sorry, really...''

You gave his waist a gentle squeeze before pulling him into your chest, stroking over his hair. ,,I never said you had to apologise for feeling insecure and don't ever think that again, okay? And I don't care how you look, 'cause as long as you're healthy and love doing what you do, including myself, I'll be happy. Alright with that?'' Silence was followed by a teary eyed Axl shyly looking up at you, his eyes red, You didn't even hear him cry, yet your pullover had a dark stain and some wrinkles from Axl gripping it.

,,Yeah.'' His voice was hoarse, but you could still hear some thankfulness in it. And that's all you wanted to hear.

~-~

Since that day had passed, you made it your duty to show Axl even more appreciation than you already did. Andi t worked! Sometimes you'd hear him murmur stuff about ,,looking good'' and ,,Y/N must be happy to have a guy like me''. The best part? The playfulness! There were small, even minor, details that before looked like plagues to him. Little things he didn't wanted to see. But he had found a way to make it look fun, showing it off to you every now and then. But there was still something missing.

,,Do you think I'm good enough in bed?'' The question was so awkward, but Axl had to know, because otherwise, it wouldn't have left him alone. ,,Never doubted that.'' A short answer, clear and simple. And apparently, it was enough to make his brain realise, that he didn't have to worry about it, because if there was any worry, you would've mentioned it a long time ago.

,,Ah, by the way, before I forget: Axl, these are for you. Just wanted to say that I'm proud of you.''

A bouquet of flowers. For him. Not that you haven't gotten him flowers before, but today, it felt extra special. And was at such a loss for words, he just kissed you. So softly, but full of meaning, which he continued throughout the whole evening. And for once he was really happy again, thanks to you believing in him:>

[heritageposts]

seriously, what the fuck is this about?

they've just outright banned the tag for an indian state that's home to over 34 million people

[choccy-milky]

the place me and my roommate were supposed to move into today was so disgusting and uninhabitable we just took our stuff and left and now we're gonna be staying at airbnbs and hotels until further notice/until we can find a new place hopefully quickly...........im in my homeless drifter era y'all!!!😍😍so if im not as active then thats why LMFAO

1 like = 1 prayer

[mobius-m-mobius]

You wanna hear a good story? Listen to this one.

Mobius + comfort

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

i am sorry cant be silent but ru*ssians in karlovy vary is such a mind blowing thing to me. thinkin bout this all evening

@demonzriti u just shouldnt have told me that. now i wont sleep bc of this

[viviantimmet]

Sucks that youtube doesn't have tags or categories or something. I mean, I know they do, but in a way that is easily accessible and useful to me, a watcher of videos, who sometimes wants to see the new videos from channels I'm subscribed to, and sometimes just wants to watch a bunch of amvs and animation shorts.

[cannibalisticskittles]

i LOST my unopened birth control and i've been panicking ever since realizing that (last night)

i was going to call the pharmacy and ask if they had any way of filling another one so that i could be still taking my pills while searching for it, even if i have to pay for it without insurance, but they're closed today

[kegareki]

ok i’m posting my. hopefully final train seating arrangement. under a cut

i did this last night and it is slightly inaccurate--i have lgy and his aunt two spaces down from where i want them--but That’s Fine. i have literally redrawn the seating arrangements 7 times so like. i’m done redrawing them LMAO

THINGS TO NOTE BEFORE READING FURTHER:

this is for my orv au, which has a si/oc functionally replace kdj in a world which (like many other worlds) he did not live to read twsa

there are ocs involved as a consequence of following a different character’s journey

there are also different survivors that form the 5 subway survivors

i am so so normal about worldbuilding

ok? ok

for the rest of this post i’m going to use whole names instead of the three-letter shortening for clarity

onto the notes abt the seating arrangements:

like i said above ^ if i redrew this for the 8th time i would have lee gilyeong, his aunt, and yoo sangah scooch two seats toward 3707. the webtoon was at least consistent about kim dokja and yoo sangah’s spot on the bench they were sitting on--yoo sangah was on the second-to-last seat of their bench, so two seats down from what i have pictured would have lee gilyeong in kim dokja’s spot

like i also said above ^ kim dokja doesn’t exist as a living person in this world, so yoo sangah doesn’t switch seats.

in canon yoo sangah had been sitting across from kim dokja, then--at a transfer, when one of the people sitting next to kim dokja got off the train--she took that vacated spot. lee gilyeong then took her seat across from kim dokja

so in this world, lee gilyeong is in kim dokja’s spot, since yoo sangah doesn’t move from hers

from their seat, my si/oc soon noeul (labeled sne in the picture) can see lee gilyeong, kim namwoon, oc choi hanna (labeled chn in the picture), and han myungoh, but cannot see the old lady, yoo sangah, or lee hyunsung

(them not being able to see yoo sangah or lee hyunsung is deliberate. for two very different reasons)

kim namwoon can see the old lady from his spot by one of the side doors

lee hyunsung is on the other side of the train car from the old lady, because i think that adds to why he doesn’t try to stop kim namwoon in canon from beating her--he is physically distant from it, which makes it easier to remain still instead of moving forward

yoo sangah and kim dokja were actually supposed to be on the other side of the train car as the old lady--when kim dokja throws the bug catching net at the opposite side of the train car, he aims specifically for yoo sangah--but if i switch them with where i have lee hyunsung and han myungoh, suddenly lee hyunsung is RIGHT THERE when kim namwoon throws hands with an old woman, so... yeah. no. this is a bit of incontinuity that i will have to accept. (clenching fist) i am accepting it

what i HAVE adhered to: lee gilyeong and yoo sangah sitting across from each other; kim namwoon being against one of the doors; the old lady being in priority seating; lee gilyeong is in a position where he can be thrown towards the old lady due to the explosion in 3707

i decided a few days ago to go back to my orv au and see what i can bang out, and it has led to me obsessing over seating arrangements that only matters for the first few chapters and not actually doing any writing