#which is to say don’t come at me and i’ll probs delete this anyway

[parkitaco]

i will admit that my knowledge of the current st discourse rn is limited to what my correct and right mutuals have posted about but i will say that arguing that lonnie byers is not an abuser when that’s literally intentionally textually implied whilst simultaneously insisting that henry creel was abused bc of evidence from like one singular frame is the kind of mental gymnastics typically only seen in toxic alpha male subreddits

[landososcar]

so american ; CL16

pairing(s) ; charles leclerc x american!reader

summary ; in which a trip to monaco turns permenant because of one ferrari racing driver

warnings ; fast paced relationship, smau, google translated french (pls correct anything that’s wrong) & FLUFFF

note ; lol sorry i lowkey disappeared. anyways. here’s charles and leo (aka everyone’s fav duo)

instagram !

liked by friend1, charlesleclerc, and others

youruser leo & i might never leave 🥰🇲🇨

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friend1 monaco is so so beautiful

yourbff you can’t leave me here alone in the us

youruser but…

charles_leclerc im stealing her

yourbff you’ve know her for 3 weeks

charles_leclerc whats your point ??

friend2 the states miss you come home

friend3 leo has a new lap to sit in????

yourbff i feel cheated on

charles_leclerc i’ll make sure you don’t leave ☺️❤️

youruser having the best time of my life with you🫶

yourbff saying you’re not gonna let her leave is kinda creepy not gonna lie…

charles_leclerc you’re just jealous coz she doesn’t wanna go back to the us and wants to stay with me

friend4 you look so happy😁

instagram !

liked by fan1, fan2, and others

cl16updating recent pictures of charles with a puppy, fans who asked him about the dog say his name is leo and he is not charles dog but he is staying with him for a while!! we are also unsure who the girl in his car in the last picture is, if anyone has any idea please share her instagram @ with us!!!!!!!!

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fan1 omg he’s not his dog??? i’m devastated now i wanted leo paddock appearances

fan2 idk maybe if you guys find her instagram @ don’t share it,, if charles wanted us to know about her he’d share with us

fan3 if she doesn’t want us to know about her maybe she shouldn’t hang out with the prince of monaco

fan4 she should be able to hang with whoever she wants. some of y’all are so weird

fan5 imma steal that dog

fan6 that means we probs won’t get leo in the paddock😭

fan7 maybe leo is the girls’ dog and she’s a friend of charles visiting him or something idk

imessages !

translation 1: ‘i’ll miss you so much’

translation 2: ‘we can be crazy together, my love’

twitter !

instsgram !

youruser added to the story!

charles_leclerc added to his close friends story!

charles_leclerc replied to your story

↳ you always do baby

↳ god you’re so cheesy

↳ i hate you

↳ can we go back home i miss leo

↳ charlie babe leo will be fine by himself for 3 hours

↳ i know i know

↳ i just love him so much

you replied to charles_leclerc’s story

↳ CHARLIE DELETE

↳ THE DOGS ARE OUT😭😭😭

↳ LEO GOT OUT??????????????? WHERE IS HE ??? IS HE SAFE??? DID SOMEONE FIND HIM??:??;??/??

↳ omg baby no leo’s fine i’m sorry for worrying you

↳ why would you joke about that

↳ i think i nearly had a heart attack

↳ you’re more obsessed with leo than me

instagram !

liked by user1, user2, and others

f1wagupdates charles and his girlfriend (leo’s mum — we don’t know her name) this saturday. the owner of the first pic said that they were out for dinner with pascale, arthur, lorenzo, and their girlfriends.

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user1 she so beautiful oh my god

user2 where’s leo

user3 girl she doesn’t have to take him everywhere

user4 i think her name is y/n… my cousin in america said that she looks like someone she used to go to school with

user5 i looked through charles’ following and he follows a private account with that name @youruser

user6 ooo that could be her fs

user7 did she really leave leo alone.. she’s a bad owner wtf

user8 leo is a dog he’ll be ok by himself for a few hours omg you just want a reason to hate her go touch grass

twitter !

twitter !

instagram !

liked by carlossainz55, lorenzotl, and others

charles_leclerc happy gorgeous amazing month ☺️❤️

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user1 CHARLES who is THAT

user2 Y/N CONTENT ON THE MAIN ‼️‼️‼️

carlossainz55 whipped

user3 omg is she playing his piano

user4 yes with her feet

youruser love love love you

charles_leclerc chérie💓💓

user4 anyone else think they’re moving REALLY quickly…. like i heard they’re living together already

user5 who CAREEESSSSS

user6 it’s none of our business

yourbff you’re all she talks about oh my GOD

charles_leclerc are you jealous

instagram !

liked by leclerc_pascale, yourbff, and others

youruser “too much, too soon” i’m living with him lol

view all comments

yourbff remember when we had conversations that weren’t about him

youruser wdym

yourbff i hate him

yourbff you’re OBSESSED with him

yourbff you guys are DISGUSTING

youruser you sound jealous

yourbff i AM. that little french driving man STOLE my best friend

charles_leclerc FRENCH????????

friend1 miss you 🫶🫶

joris__trouche ❤️

friend2 come visit soon we miss youuuu

friend3 you’re so so so gorgeous

charles_leclerc MON AMOURRR

charles_leclerc YOURE SO BEAUTIFUL I WANNA KISS YOUR FACE

yourbff can you get me a ticket to the miami gp so i can see my wife pls

charles_leclerc no you’re gonna try steal her back

yourbff @youruser ur boyfriend is being mean to me

youruser charlie i lost my miami paddock pass can you get me another one pls but like could you put it under the name y/bff/n y/bff/ln please, for no reason☺️

charles_leclerc okay baby💓💓

youruser stop it i love you so so much you’re so adorable😭

leclerc_pascale Leo ❤️

youruser he misses you 🥰

imessages !

my other works !

[kyun-toast]

[ATEEZ] Mafia!San - Will You Join Me?

word count: 2.9k warnings: explicit language, gun use, violence, description of death (not explicit), sexually suggestive, gets a lil steamy summary: cupid has a bullet with your name on it a/n: Y/N a little dramatic and San annoying af. I wrote this in a two hour flash at 2am, so this might be deleted after I reread it tomorrow because I’m pretty sure a lot of this is just me chatting shit.

1. Yoon, David – 12:45 Note to self: likes donuts. probs dunkin’, maybe krispy? idk just look for a man w a paper bag.

“I’ll have to warn you though, the lift is under maintenance, so you’ll have to take the stairs.” The receptionist smiled at you sympathetically. “I can get someone to help you with your suitcase if you’d like?”

“Oh no, it’s ok, I’ll just find another place to stay. I have weak knees anyway.” You forced a laugh and hoped the lady didn’t notice the dead look in your eyes.

“I’m sorry about that, love.”

Turning away with your suitcase in tow, you headed towards the building opposite the hotel and hoped that the rooftop would be easy enough to access.

It was quite irresponsible of you not to have a backup plan. It seemed that being named the sharpest shooter in the underground world had gotten to your head a little, but you argued that a bit of spontaneity never hurt anybody. Though your target would beg to differ.

Being a public building of offices, it was all too easy for you to reach the roof of the building. You found that walking with your held head high and gaze set straight ahead would never get you questioned. Who would ever stop someone with a walk so confident?

Thankfully, the rooftop hadn’t been turned into some garden space: an air-conditioning fan over here, a water tank over there. You checked your wristwatch reading 12:40 and muttered under your breath. The damn hotel lift had taken precious minutes of your time and compromised your view.

You opened your suitcase to set up your sniper, giving your little black cat charm on the side of your gun a squish. Cute.

Sitting on the case with your stock snug against your shoulder, you peered into the scope to get a closer view of the revolving doors to the bank. Oh great, there’s a lamppost in the way.

Mr. Yoon was apparently quite the punctual man, always seen stepping into the bank doors after his lunch break at exactly quarter to one and therefore, your window of opportunity was thin.

“I want it done today or you’re getting sniped yourself, Y/N.” You heard the voice of your boss yap in your head again. Blah blah blah, same old threat. You argued that procrastinating the man’s death was actually something very considerate of you to do.

You heard a familiar clatter of metal hit the floor and you turned your scope to the rooftop opposite to see a man in overalls with his toolbox open on the floor.

“Lift maintenance guy?” You muttered to yourself and wondered if the mechanics of elevators ran all the way through to the rooftop. You made sure that you wouldn’t be in his line of vision and swivelled back to your original position, cursing the man under your breath for ruining your first choice of setup.

12:44

“Come on, Yoon. Lunch time’s almost over.” Your finger lay restless on the trigger, itching to get a glimpse of the bank teller.

20 seconds.

“Krispy or Dunkin’ what will it be today, entertain me.”

10 seconds.

You saw the man turn the corner and waited for him to get a little closer for you to shoot.

5 seconds.

“That’s it, just past the lamppost and you won’t even know what hit y- what the FU-?” You shouted and quickly clasped a hand to your mouth. Mr. Yoon hadn’t even made it past the post, and he was already laying on the pavement in a growing pool of blood.

Calculating the angle in which he was laying, you spun your vision around to the hotel rooftop and saw the maintenance man begin to pack up a sniper back into his toolbox. Taking off his cap, you noticed a flash of white in his jet-black hair and just like he knew you were watching, he turned with a smug grin on his face and shot you some finger guns.

“Oh, you little fucker.” You spat, and watched the man jump down into a hatch to disappear.

You slumped dramatically onto the floor and splayed your limbs to stare blankly at the sky. Never in your life had you ever missed a shot, let alone have it stolen by someone else, and your boss had your phone ringing to rub it in your face.

“That wasn’t you, was it?”

“Listen, what if? You know, what if that was my thirteenth reason? I just couldn’t take it anymore and that was it. No more Y/N. You wouldn’t even come to my funeral, would you?”

“No, I wouldn’t because you’d be too broke to have one. You realise you’re not getting paid for this?”

“Why? He’s still dead?” You sat up in disbelief.

“Well, it turns out someone else wanted him gone too. I can’t lie to our client and say that we did it.”

“You’re oddly moral for someone that runs a hotline for hitmen.”

“I’ll call you if I find you another job.”

“Justice for freelance contract killers.” You muttered weakly as he ended the call. The faint sound of police sirens filled the air as you let out a heavy sigh and lay back on the concrete.

You pictured the man and wondered who it was that would even think to render the notorious Y/N L/N jobless. Though you did have to admit that it was a clean shot.

“Skunk-hair looking ass.”

2. Kim, Seungho – 18:00 Note to self: babysitting. easy target but kid knows NOTHING.

You were stationed by a corner window in an unfinished apartment building with a trainee by your side, setting up his kit.

Stood by the trainee, you scanned to see if everything was in the right place, checking the kid’s posture too. You had been sent by your boss to reluctantly train a young recruit and you joked if you had been demoted following your last predicament. You were never in it for the money though, you lived for the adrenaline.

The boy had potential and you saw it, he just needed to make cleaner shots because three bullets somewhat near the target’s vital organs wasn’t going to cut it.

“What’s your name again?”

“Jisung. Han Jisung.” The recruit replied, his eyes never leaving yours, in absolute awe.

“Eyes on the scope.”

“I’m sorry, nobody told me I’d be getting trained by you. The Seoul Shooter? Like wow.”

“Ew, is that what they’re calling me?”

“Yeah, well I think it’s a pretty cool name, they used to call me ‘Jitman’ in my hometown, not very creati-”

You shushed the boy and tapped his shoulder as you pointed to a small figure in the distance.

“You see him through the scope? Now keep your hand steady, never feel as if you’re being rushed. Death works to your schedule.”

“Got it.” Jisung said, following the man with his gun.

“Ok, on 3… 2… 1…”

You heard the bullet cut through the evening air and hit the target neatly through his office window.

“Bro? That was so clean? That has to be one of the sexiest shots I’ve seen in a while-” You began.

“Uhh, that wasn’t me, Y/N.”

Before you could even process what had happened, you heard the rustle of footsteps patter down the stairs behind you. Taking out your handgun, you moved towards the open door to find the same man you had seen on the hotel rooftop stop in his tracks on the landing. Clad in a fitted black sweater and jeans this time, he looked a whole lot more attractive close up.

“You again?” You exclaimed; gun still pointed at the man as he dropped his duffel bag to raise his hands.

His eyes widened, not in shock, but more with an excited glint in his eyes.

“Oh my, it’s Y/N, the Seoul Shooter.” A coy smile painted his lips as he shook his white fringe out of his eyes.

“See, everyone calls you that.” Jisung interjected from behind.

“Shut up, Han.”

“Word around town is that you’ve been unemployed for some time now,” nodding towards Han, he added, “and it looks like the rumours are true.”

“I’ve actually decided to take a break you know? Let the other kids have a chance at making a name for themselves. Bit of charity work.”

“Y/N kinda got demoted because you keep taking their shots.” Han interrupted again.

“Hey, who told you that?!” You narrowed your eyes at the boy. Han Jisung was a smart ass and you vowed then and there that you wouldn’t take on any more training sessions.

You whipped your head back around to the man eyeing your body up and down.

“My eyes are up here, sir. Unless you really wanna get shot.” You spat.

“Well, I’d die a happy man if you were the last thing I’d see.” He smirked in retaliation and studied your eyes carefully. “Well, my job here is done, I better be on my way. Got a big cheque waiting for me.” He grinned as he reached to grab his bag and carry his way on down the stairs with footsteps too light-hearted for your liking.

“Why didn’t you shoot him?” Jisung asked as you watched the man disappear into the evening.

“I don’t think killing a man for taking my shots is justified.”

“What, and sniping Mr. Kim Seungho just before he gets to feel the bliss of clocking out is?” He laughed. “Do you know what I think, Y/N?”

“What?”

“I don’t know, I’m not going to say anything.”

Han Jisung tormented you the whole drive back to the quarters.

“Y/N and Skunk Man sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes lo-”

Smack.

“Ouch, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I was just kidding.” He laughed as an idea struck him, “K-I-D-D-I-N-”

Smack.

3. Park, Kiha - 10:32 Note to self: bad man. bad, bad man. but big, big cheque.

Having had your last two shots stolen, mystery Skunk Man was beginning to get on your nerves. You were seething to the point that you demanded your boss give you another job, itching to defend your title of being the finest shooter in Seoul.

Laying on the floor of a rooftop hangar, the man had the gall to pop up out of the hatch to set up his station right next to you, as if you were both on some picnic.

"Nice seeing you here today, Y/N." He said, sitting cross legged to mount a scope to the top of his sniper.

Not even bothering to take your eyes off the target, you muttered, "I got here first, you better back off." voice laced with venom.

"Well I've been promised a cheque too, we're all just trying to get fed around here."

Ignoring him, you glanced down at your watch that read 10:31. Any time now, Park Kiha would be walking through the glass bridge to get to his meeting in the twin building.

Steadying your finger against the trigger, you held your breath and counted down from three, two, o-

"I like your cat charm by the way."

You pulled the trigger only for it to stray a little to the right, still hitting your target, just a little less central than you would have accepted.

You shot up from your position to face the man laying on his side, head propped up against his hand to look at you.

"Do you have something against me? Do I even know you?" You exclaimed, carding your gloved hand through your hair.

"No uhh, but I saw your face on a bounty poster once and thought you were cute." He said, attitude too blasé. "That was a nice shot though, I was going to wait a few more seconds."

"So you saw my picture, and started following me around to antagonise me?"

"Nah, I just happened to be super lucky to have been put on the same cases as you. Big bad men have a lot of people after them I guess?"

Throwing your equipment back into your bag, you watched the man proceed to roll over onto his back with his arms behind his head to look up at the sky.

The mid-morning sun cast a golden glow over his skin and though you spent most of your life working with guns, his uniform and kit next to him looked a little different, almost attractive. They suited him a little too much and you thought that if a sleek sniper were to be personified, it would look exactly like this leather clad man.

"I should ask for your number, the way you're looking at me right now, Y/N."

"Good luck, you won't get it." You turned to step down the hatch as he propped himself up again to watch you leave.

Choi, San – 15:25 Note to self: he’s kinda hot tho :/

So, we had finally put a name to the face. As your boss handed you a folder, you were slightly taken aback at the small ID picture pinned to the top of the file.

“You might be a little happy about this one.” He said, taking a sip of coffee. “He’s been recently recruited by ATEEZ as their sniper. Quite a deadly one too. He was scouted shooting pheasants down in the Namhae countryside apparently.”

“Hmm, how much?” You questioned.

“A million dollars.”

“Excuse me? A mill-?” You choked on the air and composed yourself just as quick to nonchalantly lean against the filing cabinet and look out the window, “I don’t know, he didn’t look a million dollars-worth to me.”

“He hasn’t been in the game long, but man has he taken down some big names.”

Though you didn’t necessarily feel too attached to Choi San, you did think that you were going to miss him a little. It was nice having a friend on your level to spar with.

Who were you kidding? You thought he was hot and that it would be a shame to have to shoot him.

But on second thought, you had been itching for the adrenaline in the trigger again, and the million dollars looked a lot sexier to you than some man.

“I’ll take it.”

-

San was all too easy to find. He seemed to enjoy hiding in plain sight since no common person would recognize him in the bustling streets of Gangnam. Nestled in the corner of another rooftop, you zoned in on the recognizable black and white hair sat outside on the terrace of a café.

Once you were ready, you repositioned your finger on the trigger and focused the cross hairs on the familiar head. You were steady until San lifted his head and stared right back at you through the scope, sending you a wink.

“Shit.” You muttered, his actions throwing you off and when you repositioned your aim, he had slipped into the crowd, now lost.

“No, no, no, no, no, Choi San, ugh.” Seeing that he knew what you were up to, you got up to pace around the rooftop. Your mind worked nonstop to find an alternate solution but all you could conclude was to go home, stay low and pick another day to continue.

This man had thrown you into the worst slump of your life, but you were somewhat enjoying the chase and you hated to admit it.

The abrupt sound of a closing of a door behind you had everything clicking into place.

“You pretty motherfucker, had this planned, didn’t you?” You laughed.

Upon hearing the cocking of a gun, you turned to pull out the throwing knife strapped to your thigh and pulled his body in by his collar to reach his throat. And it just turned out that San had the same idea in pushing his handgun up underneath your chin at the same time, faces a little too close.

“I like your beret.” San said candidly, jerking his brow up at the hat on your head.

“Me, too. It’s Marine Serre.”

“Nice choice.”

“I’m going to count down from three and we’re going to drop our weapons, ok? And talk this out like adults because I for one, didn’t wanna kill you.” You bargained.

“Sure.”

“Three, two, one!” The both of you pulled away for a split second in bluff only to reposition your weapons against each other’s throats again.

“I knew it.” San smirked.

“No, for real this time. I mean it.”

“Go ahead, baby.” He smiled as his gaze dropped to your lips.

“Three, two, o-”

San cut you off by leaning into your lips, placing onto them a kiss so intense, almost mirroring the violent nature of the situation. However, what surprised you more was that you let yourself melt back into him. He let his gun clatter to the floor to walk you backwards into the wall behind, hoisting your leg up around his waist.

You broke away from the kiss for air when he smiled, “I mean, it is kinda hot, but I would appreciate it if you could stop holding that knife against my throat right now, Y/N.”

“Ugh, fine.” You muttered as San leaned back in to kiss you whilst roaming his hand around your thigh, ridding you of the rest of your knives and smirking against your lips in satisfaction.

Feeling his bulge grind between your legs, you both only grew more fervent for each other as you kissed.

“Wait, I wanna take you on a date first.” He pulled away to look you in the eye.

“Are you serious right now?”

“Mhmm, to Bar 1117.” He hummed, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

“Isn’t that your company’s place…?”

“Yeah, they’re gonna love you.” He whispered, peppering small kisses down your throat.

“Are you trying to recruit me or fuck me, San?”

"I mean, you can kill me now and leave for that million dollars or you can come with me for a new job and that million dollar dick."

"You're unbelievable."

“I heard you were doing freelance anyway, baby.” He looked into your eyes again, a mischievous glow blooming across his face, “So, will you join me?”

-

disclaimer: San’s pie chart hair is one of my all time faves but I also can’t stop thinking that it looks a little skunk-like. In the cutest way. a/n: I've edited this a lot since I posted it and I think I'm gonna keep it

-

Mafia AU Masterlist

[literaphobe]

WAIT WAIT I was scrolling through your blog and you said you watch running man?? oh my goood question! who is your favourite member? thought on kwang soo leaving running man? (also maybe gary and joong ki if you are there when they leave) thought on the new members? fav ep? i'm sorry but it been so long i found people who watch running man

unless you talking about a different running man then...I'm sorry please delete this post and sorry for bothering you

MY FAVE MEMBER. is. no surprise. SONG JIHYO. aka goddess and best at everything. i think i’m very drawn to personalities that always dominate n come out on top. jihyo isn’t really known for being the ace of running man anymore but in my heart she always is :( i also am a HUGE fan of her goddess of luck image like she isn’t as crazily lucky these days bc kwangsoo (icon of misfortune) is gone but if anything makes me believe in supernatural like. the concept of LUCK being a real force in the universe it would be because of her. the way she overcomes odds n comes out on top despite being a bit of an underdog in many situations is SO hot to me. here’s some pictures of her

she’s like. u know how george is like effortlessly pretty despite being just so idc about it? yeah thats HER like she doesn’t give a shit she just wakes up rolls out of bed n goes to work. she falls asleep everywhere too. one time they played giant jenga and one of them had to be on top of the jenga as a ‘risk’ for the jenga tower dying n at the time running man was 6 men 1 woman (her) and they asked her to do it bc they were all scared n she’s the bravest member (she once bungee jumped off a 233m tall building to HELP one of them she literally didnt have to either she just went WEEEEE they all worship the ground she walks on out of respect shes just so cool)

anyway here’s her sleeping on the jenga tower

like???? shes so funny. my second favorite member is kim jongkook n my fave pair on the show is them both :) jongkook is the super jacked guy whos also really smart n good at everything. like u know how whenever george/sapnap/anyone dying screams for dream to help them when they need saving in minecraft? thats like every running man member w jongkook

ANYWAY FAVE EP…. there are so many. i swear to god. but if i were to recommend episodes to start w i’d say the superpowers episode? when they all had superpowers n had to fight to the death (ep74) and the second yoomes bond ep (ep91, i LOVE yoo jaesuk my beloved nation’s mc), the princess race ep (ep103), n park jisung soccer eps (95, 96, 97) OH FUCK THE ZOMBIE EP WHEN THEY WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL WAS FUCKING SICK TOO (ep98) and like uhhhh the baseball ep!! (ep119) and i’ll stop here bc the second people realize i have many episode numbers memorized i’ll look like a crazy person

BUT TO BE FAIR running man is the most popular korean variety show ever these mfs are straight up like A KPOP GROUP. they’ve held fan meetings which r straight up CONCERTS they sing dance etc etc they’re CRAZY u don’t GET IT they are a PHENOMENON,,, jackie chan was on this show RYAN REYNOLDS N TOM CRUISE WERE ON THIS SHOW

running man is literally what happens if u put a bunch of singers, actors, and comedians together n made them do crazy shit (literally everything under the sun has happened on running man. name anything PG. they prob did it on running man) AND THEY BECAME A FOUND FAMILYYYY and its so funny

i think joongki is so sweet n my beloved but i think ultimately him leaving helped the RM dynamic tighten up?? n it improved bc of it?? idk tho maybe itd be just as good if he stayed. i also was a tiny bit upset when gary left n it hurt the show for a while :( gary was so funny but also I HATE MONDAY COUPLE. FUCK MONDAY COUPLE IT TRAPPED JIHYO FOR SO LONG I HATED THAT SHIT. like its so crazy too bc imo they should never have had a loveline but if anything… do it w jongkook the one guy whos actually hot n has enough chemistry w her? they literally were called a ‘power duo’ all the time like brooooo i was so oppressed for liking their dynamic :( BUT HAHAHAHAHAH NOW JONGKOOK N JIHYO R FLIRTING ON THE SHOW ITS SO FUNNYYYY like yaaaassss straightbaiting 😍 its so funny too like there were times when monday couple was a Thing so the other members couldn’t “ship” other pairings but sometimes jongkook n jihyo would be so sus that they couldn’t help BUT say something u know but NOW ALL THE MEMBERS ARE FREE. yoo jaesuk risks his life every week to ship them and the others LOVE to fucking tease them

also kwangsoo leaving made me really sad but his injuries were too bad for him to risk his body every week like that :( all the members have slipped disks n severe back problems because of all the ways they hurt themselves making the show :( i hope kwangsoo comes back to guest soon tho like hes not Permanently gone the way gary is like gary straight up refuses to ever be on running man ever again LOL

also i like somin and sechan :D i admit i do prefer old running man dynamics but the current family is v cozy!! i think their loveline is sweet but i also think its HILARIOUS how the members mostly jaesuk don’t “care” as much about it like in that well get together sure but what we’re REALLY here to do is make fun of jongkook n jihyo ^_^ like they r cute its sweet ALSO somin being added is SO good bc YAY more than one woman also THEIR DYNAMIC IS SO CUTE like anyone remember that time they sabotaged each other in the game where they were competing by kissing each other?? good times

sorry for talking so much running man is literally one of my fave shows EVER n it hasn’t ended despite being a weekly show thats been running since 2010 (theres like over 500 episodes i KNOW im INSANE) like bro at the peak of my hyperfixation on this show I LEARNED THE FUCKING KOREAN LANGUAGE SO I COULD WATCH IT LIVE WHEN IT AIREDDDDD IM CRAZY FR

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 5 (thoughts + spoilers)

i feel like i’m on a high that i’ll never come down from :))) the itsay effect. this show is truly a cultural reset.

first up, i just want to say that i have never been more worried about a final ep before IN MY LIFE. for the past couple eps, i’ve tried to watch them live raw, but for this one, i was afraid of spoilers (and wanted to understand everything from the first watch), so i waited for the vimeo ep to drop and let me tell you...that was both the longest and shortest wait ever...the excitement and the dread i’ve been feeling this whole week has been unreal.

as usual, this is not an analysis. tbh there’s prob going to be even less analysing in this one bc most of the time i was either crying or yelling at my screen (and i feel like this ep in general didn’t have as many scenes to analyse?). but god, i’m SO GLAD that they gave us a happy ending bc it would have broken me into pieces if i had to rewatch and recap this knowing everything had fallen apart for them (ecstatic that wasn’t the case, and my feelings from last ep on how things might go in this one actually panned out!!). after what went down in ep 4, i always thought that that was going to be the peak of the climax/conflict, and that this one was going to be much more of a healing ep...the ep that would bring more closure to each of the characters and their relationships, as well as wrap things up as a final ep should.

so the way this ep starts is actually kind of anti-climactic. esp after the intense emotions of what happened at the end of ep 4. which is understandable? like they were being petty teenagers angry at one another, but now it’s a few days later, and all those heated emotions have tempered down. they’re in that awkward stage where neither of them even know how to start approaching one another after the loaded feelings of the last ep (basically this is what happened to them when they were children. no one reached out, and they both drifted apart...only now they’re aware of what might happen if no one reaches out and it’s a question of whether they let history repeat itself).

oh-aew using the cue cards that teh gave him and being worried ;;; doing that thing that teh told him about writing something over and over again when he can’t say it out loud...teh deleting his line chat history ;;; i was torn with this one bc on one hand noooooo, but on the other, it could be representing them starting anew again?? ALSO, they always know how to make the most of the ost in this show (i think it’s the can’t translate/lost in translation instrumental?). i was literally shaking the first time i watched this.

i was actually very worried about how his mum was going to treat him after last ep...i thought she would be angry/ignore him, and i was feeling so anxious about it...maybe bc i personally know what that’s like. that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you’re scared of how they’ll react to you after a fight. teh wanting to make his mum proud is hugely important to him, so when she handed him the plate, i actually let out a sigh of relief. i’m glad that his mum understood and backed him when he needed it most (she may not be fully all the way there yet, but feelings are raw and it takes time). and i already knew hoon would, so i wasn’t too worried on that front.

tarn is so good for teh, and i really see why they were drawn to each other. but i like how she’s prioritising what’s right for her, and also telling him like it is. they need to focus on their studies now and figure out the other stuff later.

teh loitering outside the tutoring classroom before entering sort of reminds me of ep 1 when teh and oh-aew met up for the first time after their first fight...just this time it’s less straight up antagonism between the two of them and more hurt feelings as they avoid each other instead. i also appreciate the gang during this. they’re so normal and encouraging about the whole situation. they know something went down between teh and oh-aew, but they don’t really press too much about it. just let teh know that they’re here if he needs someone to talk to.

the ep 5 trailer played us!!!!!!! i was WONDERING why oh-aew would suddenly say all that nice stuff about bas (not that bas doesn’t deserve the nice stuff, he’s an ANGEL) in front of class, but their teacher was the one that put them up to it. the horror i felt as i watched teh look straight at oh-aew but turn to bless phillip instead and then start on that whole spiel about how phillip “never sees the good intentions of friends as worthless. never says ‘no’ to what friends give you” and how he’ll never leave him because of that. ALL RIGHT IN FRONT OF OH-AEW’S SALAD...STOP TEH. PLEASE. he’s digging himself into this hole himself with the passive aggressiveness again. THEN BAS COMING IN TO STEAL THIS WHOLE SCENE. i don’t think any of us were expecting him to be as forward as he was but omg. he laid it all out on the line in the way that teh couldn’t (at this point in time). i’m really, really glad that oh-aew got to hear what bas thought of him though, and that bas got to tell oh-aew all his feelings. nothing is misconstrued. he’s so brave and the utter respect i have for him increased by tenfold...what a fantastic character. just so sure and convinced in how he feels, and so uncaring of what anyone else thinks. it’s so damn refreshing. and for oh-aew to know that there’s nothing wrong with him at all. that he’s desirable and wanted and loved (it calls back to ep 4 when oh-aew’s sobbing and desperately asking teh “what did i do wrong??” again and again). it must have meant so much to him. the conflict i felt in my heart watching that and knowing that bas would be SUCH a good guy for oh-aew, but also knowing that sometimes that’s just not enough.

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TEH’S REACTION TO ALL THIS. he’s truly facing the consequences of his actions in this one. but just imagine being in this position, being too scared to own up to your own heart, and then watching this other boy do it like it’s the easiest thing in the world?? like it’s just another regular day?? like it’s nothing?? all to the boy that you’re in love with. to the boy that wanted this exact thing from you, but you couldn’t give. it’s like teh’s watching oh-aew slip through his very fingers, but knowing that it’s bc he never had oh-aew in the first place (and the reason for that is himself). i also really love how no one in class (including their teacher) makes a big deal out of this? they’re all just applauding bc it’s a sweet confession. it would be so jarring for teh to see this acceptance when the fear of society not accepting his feelings for oh-aew is one of the reasons he can’t accept them himself.

anyway, i had like one thought in this next scene and it was just DRINK THE COCONUT TEH. DRINK IT!!!!!!! so nice to see how his fam loves and believes in him.

teh watching on as bas and oh-aew take the first step with their left foot :(((

LOVE how they use the firecrackers going off to represent anytime there’s some sort of shift in teh and oh-aew’s relationship (when they first met, when they had their first fight, and now again when they talk for the first time after the fight and oh-aew tells him teh that he and bas are dating now). it’s such a great way to symbolise the spark and passion of their relationship. anyway, this meeting mostly consists of the both of them trying not to cry as they act civil with one another and skirt around what happened. teh asking about what the deal is with oh-aew and bas is like a parallel with what happened last ep when oh-aew asked about teh and tarn...only this time oh-aew and bas are actually dating...man, this is really not the kind of news you want to hear right when you’re about to sit one of your most important exams ever :/// teh holding himself together until the moment oh-aew leaves and then just having a fucking meltdown over the news :((( as always, it just hurts to see teh torture himself in this way. but esp when he’s supposed to be sitting his exam and he just can’t stop crying in the exam room (been in that position and have almost done the same thing before). when he hadn’t finished his exam and they were like “time’s up, pencils down” the sheer panic i felt at this...ugh. i hate it.

the elation on bas’ face when oh-aew asks him out for chinese new year. he’s the cutest. THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST. and then when he holds oh-aew’s hand????? the boldness of it. he. just. does. not. care. i wish i had that sort of confidence!! oh-aew’s shock at this too. his realisation that it’s okay. that this is okay. and then bas being all “why would i be?” after oh-aew asks if he’s embarrassed. bas is literally giving oh-aew everything that he wanted from teh and more (compare this to that scene in ep 3 where teh and oh-aew grazes hands but don’t hold each other’s hands). he’s proud to be with him and to show the world. and, you know what?? i would do anything in the world for bas to be happy.

AND HERE WE HAVE IT. MY LONG AWAITED HOON/TEH HEART TO HEART. i wanted teh to tell hoon soooooooo badly, so to hear the words come out of his mouth...that his brother was the first person he told. i felt so relieved bc i knew that hoon would support him no matter what. the struggle in teh’s face and words...he fought so long and hard against ever admitting these feelings to someone else out loud that it would have felt so incredibly terrifying, yet also like a weight being lifted off his chest, to finally get them out there. to have someone else know his secret. and to know that his brother loves him unconditionally regardless. “if you like him, you go after him” THE WAY I SOBBED DURING THIS. i really loved what hoon said to teh. he didn’t sugarcoat things and say that everything was going to be fine if teh liked boys too. not every single person you meet is going to be okay with who you are, that’s just a fact, but i loved that he emphasised to teh that HE was okay with it. it’s just what teh needed to hear. and that it might take their mum some time to accept it too, but all she truly wants is for teh to be happy. just the feeling of hearing his brother, someone that he very clearly looks up to and respects, tell him that he can like whoever he wants to like?? that it’s all up to him and he’ll still be there for him whoever he wants to be with?? teh sorely needed that and i’m glad he got it. hoon encouraging him to go fight for his love!!!!!!! i was cry laughing at how teh just starts bawling his eyes out at hoon telling him to go after oh-aew, but then teh telling him that it’s too late for him bc he likes someone else. like from hoon’s perspective, he’s prob just like ‘this is so needlessly dramatic’ and the sibling energy during that whole part is too real. i love them.

watching bas/oh-aew with the rest of the gang and their respective girlfriends really makes you realise how open and accepting they all are. like teh was terrified in the scene just before about how his friends might not accept him and oh-aew, but then you see them here with bas/oh-aew and no one even cares (which i expected bc they’ve been supportive since day one, but it’s just nice to see in practice too). oh-aew teasing them all ahhh. cute. phillip being the relatable only single guy there (me at every gathering i go to with my relatives omg).

THE PIANIST PLAYING SKYLINE. they really wanted us all to be SAD sad huh, and they succeeded. how it pans to oh-aew and this song is yet ANOTHER reminder of teh...you know he’s thinking about cape scene where they were singing and translating to one another. on the day they made their promise to each other :( and teh being there too??????? all alone with his bowl of oh-aew on the table. feeling the exact same heartbreak that oh-aew’s feeling too :( it’s the way that so much of their relationship is beyond words for me. but they’re also both hurting so much that i just want to push them together and make them talk so they can clear everything up.

hoon talking in cute japanese to nozomi on the phone while teh goes through oh-aew’s old worksheets and cries I HATE IT HERE. i love the different ways in which teh has smelt oh-aew’s coconut scent since ep 2. how it evolves from curiosity to desire to him heartbrokenly reminiscing, every feeling changing with the shifts in their relationship.

can i just say that oh-aew’s parents are ADORABLE. but also, finding out exam results is the worst kind of anxiety. was so happy that oh-aew got in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he worked his ass off for this :’))) teh not getting his first pick wasn’t altogether surprising bc it did feel like they were leading up to this. but when he apologised to his mum about it ;;; noooo, she’s so proud of you. as someone who’s been through this process before (and didn’t get my first pick either), it always feels like it’s end of the world when you don’t get the uni pick that you want, but it really isn’t. still, it sucks when you’re in the moment there’s no denying that. but i get that it’s also particularly sad for teh since he’d already basically gotten his first pick before he gave it up for oh-aew. but again, it’s all part of the learning process, and the consequences for his actions. 

BAS BEING BEST BOY EVER YET AGAIN. how he knows exactly how oh-aew feels bc he feels it too, but he never imposes those feelings on oh-aew. he knows that oh-aew’s heart isn’t with him, can’t be when it’s with someone else, and bc he cares that much about oh-aew, he guides him in teh’s direction. it’s never a good idea to date someone who’s hung up on someone else, but i’m glad that they tried at the very least. the both of them did what they could, and oh-aew needed to experience it to know. i’m really glad that bas was there to make oh-aew realise how worth it he is too...and bas deserves someone that loves him back just as much as he loves them. seeing bas cry is the worst experience ever. 0/5. never want this ever again thank u. their hug scene was just devastating, and worse still bc it’s not anyone’s fault...you just can’t help how you feel, and that’s just the way it is sometimes.

idk why but for me, the scene with tarn was possibly the hardest scene for me to watch in this ep. it’s interesting how he’s wearing the shirt that oh-aew was wearing in ep 3 in this scene (with the bold ‘sunset’ lettering). i guess it symbolises him being ready to open up about his feelings on where their relationship is heading? either way, she’s a great friend. she’s so encouraging, and understands him and his ambitions to a tee. the both of them are always filled with such fierce determination. they just know what they want and go for it. but that’s also why these past couple eps have been all the more confusing for teh since he’s always been so sure of himself before. how she tells him that no one can take away his identity and that no one can take his dream away from him?? all these characters just knowing exactly what teh needs at the right time. she’s so incredible. no wonder teh is so scared of losing her as a friend. it’s great that he apologised for how he treated her last ep bc it’s def the least that she deserves. that being said, watching her heart get broken as teh tells her that his feelings for her have changed and asking if they can still be friends...like damn, that fucking hurts. there’s something in tarn’s face in this scene that stays with me every time i watch it, and it’s that heavy feeling of knowing that the opportunity is missed. they had the potential to have been something, but it’s slipped by now, and now they can’t go back to those initial feelings anymore. too much has changed. but it’s also that she, like bas, values teh’s happiness too much. values their friendship so much that even if she’s heartbroken, she can still overcome those feelings of heartbreak bc she cares for teh so deeply and wants to see him happy. despite the pain she’s feeling, she still encourages him to make the first move and talk with oh-aew bc she knows that oh-aew is who makes him happy. anyway, we already established this in my last rant text post for ep 4, but i love tarn with my whole heart and only ever want her happiness too. the purple hibiscus in her drawing for teh was like a final stab to the heart :(((

what i love about bas and tarn is that neither of them are the bad guys in this situation. this drama has no outright antagonist, and a lot of the time in BLs (even in standard dramas in general) that’s what the secondary love interests are used as...a hindrance for the main couple to get over. but the both of them are written (and acted) with such respect and care. it’s really hard not to fall in love with them too. the real conflict and antagonism mostly comes from within teh himself, so this series is his own journey to overcome that. a true coming of age story.

oh-aew in his uni uniform!!!!!!!!!!! cue me constantly chanting “come through, teh” over and over as oh-aew passed the restaurant hoping to see him. and I KNEW HE WOULD. not me bursting into tears as soon as they show him following oh-aew on the motorbike ;;;;;;; he loves oh-aew too much, and this was too important, he was never going to back out on this promise. i mean, he gave up his uni spot for oh-aew so he could keep this promise. technically, if you think about it, it worked in a roundabout way bc teh giving up his place was what made oh-aew decide to do the admission exam again...and better still bc he got into his first place uni all on his own accord. he proved to teh that he could do it like he always wanted to.

love that teh pushes the good luck coconuts onto oh-aew too, like his mum and brother always do for him. it’s cute. when they go to the temple again, and the significance of it being open this time so they don’t have to sneak in anymore????? my heart is FULL. another thing i love is how teh’s kind of behaving like how oh-aew did in ep 3?? being flirty?? almost toying with him?? like that part when they’re drinking the coconuts together, and he sort of slides backwards drinking the coconut, eyes not leaving oh-aew before bouncing away. that’s an oh-aew move okay. and, as always, teh encouraging oh-aew when he’s down bc the sun isn’t out. rival and inspiration. i love them more than words could ever describe.

skyline instrumental is legit the perfect song bc sometimes when you listen to it, it can make you feel like you’ll never be happy again, but then other times (like when they’re walking to the tip of the cape), it’s like a shot of pure hope to your chest. that shot of them going through the trees and right into the open space of the tip of the cape with the sun shining all around them was BEAUTIFUL. the freedom of it all, of no longer being constrained. seriously, these shots of the two of them standing in front of the golden glow of the sun are just *chef’s kiss* so stunning. cinematography on point (but when did this show ever fail me on that front).

“when i gave it, i really gave it to you” I’M NEVER GONNA STOP CRYING. i literally cannot watch this part without getting choked up and/or screaming. they’ve missed each other so much, and it’s piecing the broken bits of my heart after the last 4 eps back together again. THEY’RE FINALLY TALKING.

okay i really have to talk about this scene when oh-aew asks teh “how about you and i?” bc of the war flashbacks i’m having back to the last time this question was asked and how disastrous that turned out. it’s in how oh-aew asks it and reads teh’s hesitancy as teh thinking the same as he did last time...oh-aew’s fake smile (the same smile he put on when he asked teh how things were between him and tarn and teh told him they were pretty much the same) when he thinks that teh still isn’t willing to acknowledge he likes him back. it’s how oh-aew is willing to accept ANYTHING from teh...whether he wants to be friend or a rival...whether teh likes or hates him...as long as teh stays in his life. he’s willing to accept whatever teh wants to define them as bc he’s just missed teh so much and can’t stand to be away from him. and it’s like this is what finally clicks in for teh. that restricting himself this way is only ever going to constantly hurt the both of them. teh finally saw past himself, and realised what this meant to oh-aew. it’s like he’s finally looking at oh-aew and seeing what oh-aew needs most (has always needed most), and that in turn helps him gain the courage to say it out loud bc the love he feels for oh-aew (and for himself) is ultimately stronger than any fear he has about society not accepting them. it’s such a beautiful scene. after pushing back at himself and his feelings time and time again, he can’t deny himself anymore. his character arc has come full circle ;;; everything teh’s done in previous eps for oh-aew has shown how much he really loves and cares for him, so it just makes me happy that he released his breath and let himself be happy. it’s all i ever wanted for him.

the amount of tears i shed at teh asking oh-aew to be his boyfriend...i knew teh was very likely going to give in to his feelings for oh-aew at this point, but this was even more than i expected. that was so SMOOTH. oh-aew bursting into tears after that...SAME. then the hug in the sunset WITH the new ost song. and that last shot of teh’s handwritten full pages of ‘love’...they did the MOST with this and i’ll never ever ever be over it.

then the part 2 announcement!!!!!!!!!!!!! after so much angst, i can barely believe we’ve been given so much in such a short space of time omg. i love how teh’s tie is red and oh-aew’s tie is blue for their respective uni uniforms. ADORABLE

i know everyone was afraid (myself included) that this was going to end sad from the get go. from the trailer to the ost, we were all TERRIFIED bc realistic shows like this often end in heartbreak. we’re so used to it. but i saw someone describe itsay as a love letter to the lgbtq+ community, and i totally agree. it could very well have ended tragic/sad, but instead they subverted our expectations of the traditional ‘bury your gays’/sad gay ending we’re so used to and gave us a story that showed us that there’s realism in happiness too. there are so many struggles and hardships that lgbtq+ people have to go through bc of the world that we live in, but they CAN be happy too. this post that nadao tweeted of teh crossing out the lyrics of skyline and writing “let me set my own destiny“ instead is SO powerful, and shows the immense character growth he’s gone through over the course of the series. it made every single tear that i have shed for this show completely and utterly worth it.

i’ve mentioned this multiple times before, but i’m so grateful to nadao for giving us this drama. literally one of the best dramas that i have ever watched in my entire life. i’ve never felt so passionately about a show before, or been so attached to the characters and their relationships. everything about it...the directing, the writing, the cinematography, the acting, the soundtrack, EVERYTHING has been set to such an impeccable standard i really don’t know how, or if, i’ll ever get over it (prob not). i know i’m not the only one that thinks so, but it’s truly a masterpiece. i hope it sweeps all the awards bc it’s the least that it deserves. moreover, i’m so happy that their story isn’t over bc this cast of characters are some of my fave characters ever and i genuinely cannot wait to see more of them in march next year :’)

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

i havent been here in a hot second is there a reason for the makoto hate specifically? like the rants go back to p5's writing issues but the spite for makoto seems very specific did she kill someones dog in one of the spinoffs or what?

You're all good. So here's the thing, she did kill my dog-I'm joking.

When I say “I’m the residential #1 Makoto Hater” it’s a joke, partially cause it probs looks that way (and probs cause it might be true, who knows if you could quantify hate then maybe I’m at the top of the leaderboards 8U but you can’t so we’ll never know). But I’m saying it at as a joke, to own myself and everyone here that knows what I think of her, rather than wear it as a badge of honor or some silliness. It’s just a “oh haha yeah there goes Silly, dunking on Makoto again! She’s basically Makoto’s #1 hater haha oh she’s so silly.” (so please don’t look too deep into it, I just want to have fun).

Anyway, me hating Makoto isn’t new, but I do hold a similar ire towards Futaba, Goro (tho I have camaraderie with his fans, I relate to their struggle in terms of my own brown hair and red eye fav and Atlus screwing them over u_u I may hate your fave but I respect you and will be in your corner), and Yukari (as well as Chloe from LiS if you want a non-Persona example). Makoto might be talked about more because 1) She hits my buttons that much faster (Futaba/Goro are more like a festering wound, and when I talk about them it’s hard to pick a starting point), 2) Her fans tendency (early on in the fandom) bringing her up frequently.....was a bad combo with #1 (overexposure+pushing all my buttons really fast=disaster). Obvie not blaming her fans, but it was hard to curate how I was able to curate my content online (esp with gaming news websites calling her “best girl” when showing off a figure announcement or some BS when I just want to know what new games have been announced >.> I can do without you trying to start a waifu war in the comments Siliconera -_-)

Anyway, I think I’ve made my reasons for hating her very clear (you just have to search her name on my blog and you’ll get a ton of essays I’m sure, too many to count). And a lot of it is the failure of P5′s writing. “So it’s just the writing you hate, not the character.” No. Because that doesn’t make sense. Except under certain circumstances (which I’ll provide examples of below with Luke Skywalker), you can’t separate the writing from the character. The character IS the writing, the writing IS the character. If you can’t hate/dislike the char because “of the writing” then you also can’t love/like them either. The character and the writing/writing choices for that character are connected. The writing embodies that character. They are the same.

Now I said there was an exception, and that’s....”different writer/director,” tho it’s not ALWAYS the case (sometimes the new writer really gets the original writing, like Saito for MM.....they are very good at emulating the clusterfuck of P5′s writing). P5′s writing is the original basis for Makoto’s character, that’s her. You can’t separate it from her. Same thing with say....Luke Skywalker from the OG trilogy, that’s him. But then we get to the sequel/Disney trilogy, new writer/director....and yeah that’s a mess (from what I understand OG trilogy=Hopeful and tries to see the best in people, 2nd Disney=Cynic and tried to kill a child, 3rd Disney=Hopeful again for some reason). There’s character development, then there’s just straight up changing the character just cause you need them to be this now. 

*writes how this can apply to Persona spinoffs but deletes because I was getting too off track* Look at me exercising control. It’s probs best I save that for a meta after I’ve replayed all the spinoffs again.

But....if you want me to boil down my issues with Makoto, I hate the message we get from her. I hate the lesson we learn from her. What is supposed to happen vs what happens.  It’s supposed to be about a girl who is blindly following authority and becomes disillusioned with it after being burned by it, on top of “immense pressure” she has as well, and then comes to our side (we know this because Atlus told us). We don’t get that (we know this because we saw the execution). We get two adults, yes TWO ADULTS, one of which is her sister and wants her to do well in school (but isn’t like.....a tiger mom about it, because Sae can’t be TOO horrible because we need to like her later), who in retrospect seems very busy with her job (which gives Makoto freedom), but also feels burdened by her younger sister (in which she has one shitty slip with her and then NEVER again). And the other is a dumbass principal who asks a really strange and stupid task for Makoto that snowballs into bullshit. That’s IT! THAT’S IT! That’s all we get from Makoto and “authority.” Strawmen. We don’t really get much of her personality either (I’m not saying that cause “she’s cardboard” I legit just.....don’t get her? Like I don’t get enough of her to get a solid foundation, you get me?) Like as the player, what we see of her is she’s just studying in the library (Kamo arc), then the principal calls her in, she mentions the rumors about Kamo, he asks her to look into the PT in exchange for a recommendation (to which she’s surprised and says thanks, not no, she looks like she’ll accept JUST BASED ON THAT) but before she can even say Yes (OR NO) he threatens Makoto with her sister, to which Makoto hardens and then agrees. Then she acts like an asshole and yadda yadda stuff happens.

But if she’s supposed to blindly follow authority, she’d say yes, but then they don’t let the character breathe so she can make the “wrong” choice because the Principal goes STRAIGHT to threatening her.......so now the message is muddled, or really it’s non existent. The whole Sae thing is a nothing bag too, it’s just family drama. Her sister is, no HAS to be absent a lot for her work, just so Makoto can have the freedom to be a PT....which means....it hurts her lack of freedom and other stuff associated with Sae being a big pressure on Makoto’s life. You know, I’ve said before they’ve squandered Sae, and that Makoto’s presence really harmed Sae (iirc it was this post). But at the same time, how they handled Sae really screws up Makoto’s character. Neither are allowed to breathe. Neither are allowed to make a true, horrible choice...and then learn from it. They aren’t allowed to have an actual arc. Altus played it safe, took choice away from them, didn’t want to take risks with either character and have meaning. Instead we just have this nothing contradiction thing dicking around until they join our team. 

What really sucks about that....is we got that with the Kamo arc. With Anne, Ryuji, even Yuki and Shiho. Kamo was manipulative, and his manipulation caused people to make....not the best choices, all out of a means to survive. Ryuji physically acted against Kamo, and he got his leg broken, team disbanded, and outcasted. Anne was trying to protect Shiho’s position on the team, which lead to her almost getting harmed by Kamo, Shiho getting harmed, her not seeing the truth about what was going on around her, and she didn’t tell Shiho (because she didn’t want Shiho to think she didn’t get on the team for her own merits), and so on. Shiho didn’t tell Anne what was going on because she wanted to protect Anne from Kamo (and was afraid Anne would, very much blame herself), and her and Yuki and the rest of the teams helped keep quiet about Kamo so they wouldn’t be next on the physical chopping block. This isn’t me blaming them, this is me showing their choices, their attempts to fix their (hopeless) situation, to help themselves or others, and the dramatic irony being it just made everything worse. BUT, even tho Kamo was the real one to blame, each character is aware of the actions that were made, and the consequences of each action (esp Anne/Ryuji/Shiho). And in their CoOps, they identify this, and take strides to learn from it so it doesn’t happen again. That’s an arc. That’s character development. They were allowed to make errors, mistakes, decisions that negatively impacted themselves/other’s. We see a solid foundation of their character from the get go, and how it changes over that small time. We don’t get that with Makoto. The group is like solid concrete to Makoto who is like shifting sand. 

Sorry got a bit off topic, anyway, I hate her message of boasting about her fighting ability but she only harms her friends (outside of shadows, but that’s not special) WHILE ALSO being a damsel that needs someone else to rescue her! I hate how when she gets called out, she wants to drop it, and gives gaslighty apologies, even tho she really ROYALLY screwed lot of people very badly. I hate how she demands us to help, only to literally be a detriment to our investigation. I hate how she gets to fly off the handle without repercussions (despite needing to be cool calm and collected for her job, especially since she miraculously can do that when needed so what the hell????). I hate how the text has her be shitty, say shitty things, be bad at her job, but will turn around and reward her time and time again. 

Sure she doesn’t break the lore like Futaba, or unravel P5′s plot like Goro. But as a character with a message attached to her, even ones that the creators surely overlooked (I’m sure they didn’t intend for her to only hit her friends), it’s simple but very annoying. Fast and easy to see, doesn’t require me to think of P5′s lore as well as the grander Persona lore. Doesn’t require me to dig through text for Goro bread crumbs and then unravel the entire basis of the P5 plot thanks to him. Makoto is easier to get into, it’s smaller scale and more personal I guess. 

[princesscas]

Hi! I have a question. I haven’t been heavily involved in tumblr/social media for a while. I had stopped watching supernatural for a couple of years and just got back into it. I ship destiel, but sometimes things about wincest come up. I keep seeing things about people not wanting to “ship shame” which you just mentioned as well, and I’m just confused. How is it okay that people ship two brothers? Like they are actual brothers on the show?? I don’t care that they’re not irl. I don’t know who the N girl you’re talking about is but apparently she cares about canon, so how can she like it? And why is it wrong for people to condemn people for shipping two brothers, when that is the thing inherently wrong? Like it’s disgusting... it’s not about them being guys, it’s incest... Again, I just don’t get it and I hope I don’t come off as rude! Thank you!

Nah, you’re not rude at all! Never ever like them. I’m still upset about what happened two days ago so what the hell, tea time!

To start off, I believe that everyone can ship whatever like like as long as they aren’t sending hate to others. Take a look at this (lengthy) post about ship wars. People can ship whatever they want, end of story. Doesn’t really matter anyway because people are gonna do what they wanna do. Do I like those types of ships like you described above? No, but it’s none of my business to tell others what they can and cannot ship. Sometimes I read darkfics. That isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Is the post/fanfic properly tagged with such elements? Then it’s fine. Start hyjacking posts/leaving nasty comments? That’s 1000% not fine and it never will be. 

Something that doesn’t get brought up enough: There is a vast difference between an ordinary w//cest shipper and a J-two-squared tinhatter who believes the said two actors are secretly gay, their wives are beards, they hate mish, everyone who doesn’t like w//cest are wrong, etc.

Now, it’s on the shipper if they start normalizing such things. (in//st, unhealthy, etc) And the rabid obsessed (N&Co) hate-everything-that-breathes crew is a prime example of this. 

This thing is already long so why not throw out some receipts, huh?  IMO, you cross that ‘ship whatever you want’ line when you do this: 

...I ship an angel and a human my dude. (and two 100 yr old super soldiers, I wonder what they think about stucky lol) also jesus christ the rest of that is a mess. 

/tw: biphobia here./ REAL bisexuals? “oh you aren’t bisexual if you like one angel and a hunter.” And they’re obsessed with calling everyone ‘teenager girls.’ This is not only wrong but also pretty damn transphobic and misogynistic. 1) Most people have aged over the years (wow that’s crazy right?) 2) trans, nonbinary, and gender fluid people exist. 

Overall, these people are a horrible bunch. They’re obsessed with preaching to people about ‘tagging properly’ when they could take it upon themselves and use a blacklisting extension. Or just block every single blog they don’t like. These people are a very small portion of the fandom but they’re loud, they want you to think they make up all of the fandom but they don’t. Not even close, when other in general posts gets thousands of notes/retweets and theirs get maybe a couple hundred. (and a lot are from reblogs for replies) 

Not gonna lie, I feel the need to defend w//cest shippers because I’ve known/have/had mutuals who do ship it and they’re nice as can be. 

The loud bunch are so loud, it silences the others who partaking in normal fandom things. Or really, if I were them, I wouldn’t want to associate myself with those people. 

Let’s pretend for a second. Imagine if you loved a ship (it could be any ship from any fandom) but the fandom is toxic as hell and the most ‘popular/well known’ blogs/artists/writers are these people. Fandom corners have history on the way they were built upon throughout the course of the fandom’s media. 

You browse the tags, the blogs, the fanfics, and find yourself staring at a hateful group of cult-like bigoted people. But wait. These people? They don’t like fanfiction or fanon. No, they hate anyone who writes anything outside of textbook canon. Any characters outside of SW/DW/JW won’t be present. (if you’re curious or are brave enough, go look at the AO3 tag, it’s sad) 

I try to be empathetic with people. I cannot, for the life of me, imagine what it’s like. To love a show so much with your favorite ship but one part dislikes it and another part are so inherently hateful.   

The OP deleted but this thread on Reddit is exactly what I’m talking about. And they mentioned something else I think not many people bring up: OT3′s. 

I’m gonna quote this but it’s 1000% true. 

“What I can't for the life of me understand though is why people would hate on Misha as an actor because of his role on the show. I've seen a lot of Misha hatred - and I mean A LOT of it. In fact, I recently went through the anti-misha tag on tumblr and blocked over 200 tumblr accounts that either were dedicated to bashing him or castiel, or posted constantly about it.”

“It's really nuts to me that people would choose to put so much time and effort into hating an actor who hasn't done anything to them personally or hasn't even affected their lives, when they could be putting good feelings into praising the actors who have affected their lives in a good way instead if you feel me.”

Constantly is the key word here. I don’t think these people ever stop, not even for one second, to sit down and say, “God this is exhausting, I think I need a break this week.” I really dislike these people but I also feel empathetic for them. What is their mental health like? It isn’t healthy. Go show a therapist this, they’d probably quit on the spot. (okay prob not but that’s my best example atm) 

This has gotten extremely long so I think I’ll stop here. There are some nice people out there who will ship things you don’t like but a toxic side can make it seem much worse than it actually is. Ironically, it’s usually the opposite. (ie: voltron’s’s toxic side scaring off other shippers of that fandom) 

Lemme end this with pre!serum smol Steve and his legendary quote: 

[kirythestitchwitch]

okay so I have calmed down a bit since the Incident but I wanna tell y'all about a customer interaction i had tonight at my food service job. so my restaurant works like subway but for fake Mexican food right? start at one end, work your way down. this guy comes in by himself, talking on his phone. my coworker goes down to start his order. y'all it took him 10-12 minutes to get him through the line with two burrito bowls. he debated every topping with this person he was on the phone with, spoke in a really quiet voice so the other girl had to keep being like "huh? what?" for the record, we have these big hood vents for the grill that are constantly on making a fuckton of noise, and we have the Company Music Station playing. plus if you try to talk to us through the glass with ur head down, we ain't gonna hear shit. so it is occasionally a trial to hear them as a perfectly functioning hearing person, which my auditory processing disorder ass certainly is Not.

so okay, we get this guy to the end of the toppings and I, the cashier, start piping in with "Is this for here or to go, sir? would you like any queso to go with your chips?" the guy gets two scoops of queso to go on his bowls and then says sure to the chips. So I get everything together, pack it up for him and ring him up. For context, our queso is a dollar a 2oz scoop and there are at LEAST two signs at eye level that point this out. just keep that in mind.

so I ring him up and then notice I missrung an item, over charging him. "Hold on one second, let me fix this!" so I fight with the computer for a minute bc once you hit the Pay button on the register to see the subtotal, you can't delete any items without doing Voids which are Bad according to my boss and require a manager's code.

"Sorry about that!" I say after fixing it, and tell him his new total. he, still talking on his phone, pulls out some cash and hands it to me. i start doing the change and he goes, "wait a minute, how much were the bowls?"

so I grab his receipt and show him where the bowls were on it. he goes, "What is this?" and points to the four (4) scoops of queso. so I start explaining how it's for the two scoops he got on his bowls and the two sides of queso for his chips and he interrupts me and says, "Why are you shouting at me, there's no need to shout."

and i pause and review my tone, which as far as I know was just my Helpful Customer Sevice voice projecting over the hood. But okay, maybe I was being too loud. "I'm sorry sir, i wasnt aware i was being so loud." i say, and continue to explain to him the queso prices. at the end he shakes his head and pulls the two sides of queso out of the chip bags.

"No I don't want these, I didn't know they were gonna cost, I thought you were just offering." he says. okay, I think, not a big deal I'll just... get him his money.

now if you think my boss thinks Voids are bad, they are nothing to how she feels about Refunds. i dont even know how to do a refund on our system bc it is so Not Intuitive and you need Express Permission from my boss to do it. So I call her up and explain the situation. she says since it was just the dollar sides, just pull the money out of the register and she'll fix it later. okay, no prob!

so I get this guy's money, and his change he interrupted me giving him, and go to hand it back to him. "okay so I got your refund and those are $2.18 and here is the rest of your change!" I say, hands outstretched to give him his change.

He fuckin goes, "No, you keep that as a tip and a reminder not to be rude to people." and he turns around and leaves. and I'm just left standing there like ????!!???? holding $3 and some change going through the five stages of grief while my next customers are like 👀👀👀👀👀

and anyways that's my villain origin story

[churb]

Okay so this is something that I've had on my mind since it came up and I just need to speak about it, sorry in advance if it's super long.

When the idea of proper age verification on the site first came up, everyone was pretty happy with the idea of it, myself included. Discussions on the Discord continued and inevitably someone asked if this meant it would be allowed to continue conversations/rp off-site... which one of the staff responded with 'yes'. This was a while ago so I can't remember the full conversation but it was generally because those going off-site would be verified as not being a minor.

But this didn't sit right with me, and still doesn't to this day. The whole concept of this site is to be nearly completely anonymous, and if everyone's going to be jumping at the first opportunity to take their chats off-site then it's really not going to go well. And I know this for a fact; because I myself have personally experienced it.

When Cherp was having issues back in late 2019 and everyone was uncertain if the site would shutdown for good, there was a huge scramble of everyone trying to get their favorite rps off-site. I personally never asked anyone to continue elsewhere, although I was eventually approached by two different partners if I'd like to continue through Discord.

One rp I was really in to at the time so I was happy enough to accept, whilst the other was just... eh, but I went through with it anyway as I didn't want to seem rude by refusing.

Here's... where things go downhill. And I mean REALLY downhill.

The first rp which I moved off-site with (the one I was really into) was great at first, replies continued steadily for the first few weeks but eventually they began to slow and their quality and length dropped. When you rp for a while it's easy to tell when people lost interest and it was pretty obvious to me my partner was reaching that moment. I felt terrible because it was clear that they couldn't exactly just d/c on Discord and they seemed determined enough to continue for as long as they had the strength to, but after replies taking days to come from them, they inevitably stopped and I never messaged them again.

The second one is... much worse. This was the rp I wasn't as interested in, although it didn't really require as much time. As the previous one was a good few paragraphs with each reply, with one was mainly just a few lines, perhaps even a full paragraph if I decided to get really descriptive or multi-muse. It was a fun rp... and I wish it stayed that way. My partner started trying to get really close with me, often talking about their day and their problems (doesn't sound that bad huh?) but then it escalated. They'd full on stop rping just to start venting to me about family and friend problems like I could somehow help.

The worst part was... pretty confusing. Throughout the day when they'd be keeping me updated with whatever they were doing, they'd send me pictures of where they were... pictures of their face with clear buildings or monuments in the background. They tried to coerce me into doing the same a few times but I quickly shot them down by saying I wasn't comfortable showing my face to people on the internet who I barely knew. I didn't realise it at the time but what they themselves were doing was pretty dangerous, just from the images I'd been sent I'm sure it would be easy enough to track them down.

It was getting too uncomfortable for me so I eventually ended up blocking them I deleted them, but it's always kinda freaked me out to this day how willingly they were with sending me easily identifiable pictures of themselves, without me even asking, and even continuing when I gave them nothing back.

I don't really know if I've got much of a point in typing all this out to be honest, but it's just something I wanted to say. If they eventually do allow messages off-site, please think twice before doing it. And PLEASE don't give your partners any personal information.

They're not your friends just because your characters are.

I... Hm. I mean, it does suck you had a horrible time. It really does. But I guess my thing is... I don’t go off-site with people, unless we’re friends? Like. My RPs are at high numbers of pages because we often OoC a lot.

There is something to be said about boundaries though. People need to like. ASK before they do shit like that. Like, I’ll send pictures of my pets to folks randomly if it seems like they’re having a piss-poor day. But yea. You def should have put your foot down on that picture stuff. And if they didn’t respect? Block. Or do as you did, and block them when you feel uncomf.

Same with trading off-site info. Don’t feel bad saying no. That’s one of the most important rules to life you can learn. Your boundaries are to be respected. Do not feel guilty for having them. Just tell people no. It’s scary, and it’s difficult. Trust me, I’m terrified of the word. But it makes life easier if you hit that level of ‘Fuck this, if they don’t respect it, they don’t deserve my time.’

But at the same time, on my main blogs, I have pictures of me, with my face, people who’ve followed me for a long while probs DEF know where I live. So I’m not super huge on hiding it because hey, people will find a way to track me if they want, and good for them I guess. I’m boring as hell IRL.

[gotatext]

                   hllo ! i’m nora ( she / her, 24, gmt ) crawling back to this rp once more like the dirty sewer slug i am !! i just can’t get enough, baybeyyy ! u may remember me frm such roles as alma putnam, rory bergstrom, bridget matusiak or greta o’driscoll 2 name jst a few.... sure there were more over these long years, bt the show must go on.... this is mimi, she’s dogmatic, tenacious n single-minded 2 the point of recklessness, she doesn’t like handouts n she’s funding her degree through her onlyfans account n moaning abt shit on tiktok. we love 2 see it !!  slam that like button n i’ll creep into ur DMs like the slippery worm i am   OR u can discord me at that bitch carole baskin#8664.   a humble pinterest.

『ALEXA DEMIE ❙ CIS-FEMALE 』 ⟿ looks like MIMI MARTÍNEZ is here for HER SOPHOMORE year as an ARCHITECTURE AND SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY student. SHE is 22 years old & known to be STRONG-WILLED, GOAL-ORIENTED, ARROGANT & EASILY BORED. They’re living in MORIS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ nora. 24. gmt. she/her.

this is p embarassing but i actually originally wrote mimi for a discord rp based around love island asgjag dont laugh at me but it was so chaotic n someone deleted it w-out telling any of us so i lost her bio.... all her threads....e verythin.... it was mad. but anyway we startin from scratch w this intro so bare with

mimi is a really extra character so when trying to flesh her out i thot of the most extra thing i could do n made a colour coded mindmap with watercolour paints detailing her values, aesthetics and early life. shoot me

background: she grew up in a trailer home in boulder city, abt half an hour from vegas. her mom had worked in a vegas casino for most of her 20s but relocated to boulder city for a slower pace of life / lower crime rate when she started having kids. mimi has 2 older brothers n she’s the youngest. has that invulnerable younger sibling complex n basically thinks nothing can touch her. very confident in her own intelligence and her ability to get shit done 

has mexican ancestry on her mom’s side. doesn’t know her dad. was raised with spanish catholic principals n found it all very stained glass windows and extra n that’s why she was kinda drawn to the decadence of vegas and all these massively high key aesthetics, like dia de les muertos was her fave thing growin up just bcos the pure feel of the festival and painting a sugar skull on her face n being able to party on the streets in a flower crown where everyone was kinda anonymous but together in this celebration

in boulder city her mom worked as a carer as there’s a lot of retirees there. mimi really resented the slow pace of life, longed for some fucking energy n life. she was a cheerleader in school but outside of school there wsn’t much to do except practise stunts and go on bike rides.  occasionally they’d get dressed up and catch a bus to henderson, the next biggest city for them to get tht sweet night life

her teenage years consisted mostly of hanging around the renovated motel blocks used as housing projects n tanning by the pool. very florida project if you’ve seen that. she reminds me a lot of the mum in that. also she started working as an avon rep going door-to-door when she was 16 bcos she wanted to have her own income. like as young as 14 she’d decided she was smart enough to go to college but she didn’t have the money n her family didn’t really see it as a worthwhile thing, her mom was very like the mom from matilda “you chose books.... i chose looks!” which i think is where a lot of mimi’s more shallow / appearance-driven traits come from

wasn’t really ‘cool’ until high school. before that she was a bit of a lisa simpson type. won a spelling bee when she was 9. was in the mathletes squad in middle school. when she went from middle school to high school she started cheer and tried to reinvent herself basically. always been very concerned with social mobility and keen to socially climb, like when she enters a new situation she’ll find out who the alphas are and quickly try n befriend them

when she turned 18 she moved out and went to vegas despite her mom hating the idea bcos it was everything she’d tried to get her kids away from. she worked in the clubs there for several years as a shot girl, a table dancer, n eventually she started workin behind the bar in a strip club. in the club it ws really hard to resist becoming a dancer bcos of the sheer amount they made in tips. no one really pressured her into it she just eventually decided tht it was way more logical to do it while she was young n fit and had the stamina and ppl were willing to pay to see her body so she started taking pole fitness lessons. she also started working as a cam girl around this time

working in vegas strip clubs is basically whats paid for uni. like she didn’t go at 18 like most of her friends did bcos she didn’t have the money and she didn’t want to feel indebted to a college like she had to compete for her place and not put a toe out of line bcos she was on a scholarship. she was determined to pay her own way and it took 4 years of working really hard and saving n even tho she was working in vegas she basically never went out bcos every penny she had needed to go on uni n thts how we get to radcliffe baybeeyy

part 2  - interior / values / personality

values: the aesthetic !! literally loves the aesthetic so much. everything she owns is super embellished, she’s a pop socket gal, her dell laptop is covered in glitzy stickers, she always has acrylics n probs makes nail art videos on tiktok. really tuned into tiny details like painting a little hello kitty above her eye which translates into her degree when she’s doing small-scale mockups of town plans n stuff... she jst puts so much detail into them. ppl often get surprised when she tells them she does architecture but it makes so much sense bcos she grew up in a trailer park n was always thinking about ways the space could be more efficiently used, like she loves re-conceptualising neighbourhoods, definitely spent hours on sims as a kid. she also grew up near hoover dam n so loads of school trips they just took them there n she was like.... this is tight but it could be cooler.... where’s the passion....

massively into photography, has such a neat instagram feed like everything just compliments the tones in the next post like mMMM. idk if any of u know any architecture students but this is literally the one constant i can find…. like they all have super good instagrams feeds. is that bitch that will take 40 fake candids of u in a row at different angles to get u the perfect profile picture cos she understands the importance of marketing urself and having an online #brand

has wire rimmed glasses that she doesn’t need to see BUT they r like a magnifying glass for when she’s working with really small materials to do a mock up of an urban plan, and also just sometimes wears them for the aesthetic bc she’s such a pinterest bitch

assassination nation is such a big mood. literally the aesthetics of that and lily colson’s whole brand of feminism and nudity not being inherently sexual but at the same time wanting to profit off that bcos why the fuck shouldnt she use a corrupt system to her advantage is incredibly mimi

literally a human personification of a bratz doll both in attitude and fashion sense

somehow simultaneously gansey in the raven cycle AND elle woods in legally blonde? the two genders 

values cont bc i started rambling: her independence and freedom. being the best at any given task she sets her mind to accomplish because she is unable to accept failure. social mobility. sexual liberation. interested in the psychology of sub-cultures and how ppl form groups and interact w each other and cult identities which is why she minors in anthropology. pro-choice. pro-weed legalisation. pro-sex worker rights. very activist.

aesthetics tht remind me of her: von dutch. a strappy cami top that says ‘please do not do coke in the bathroom’. low-waisted jeans that show off her belly button piercing. acrylic nails tapping against a heavily embellished second-hand dell laptop. heart shaped sunglasses in every colour. translucent stripper heels with barbie doll heads and plastic spiders in the heel. spraying champagne you cant afford all over the walls. narcotics in a heart shaped locket. an amazon wishlist full of lingerie linked on your tinder profile. sex tapes recorded on VCR. a religious devotion to waxing clinics. necking shots like you were born to do it.

she’s an enfj type which makes her pretty charismatic and confidence, like she has a fierce kind of energy to her, but she’s also super unwilling to accept criticism, dogmatic and can only really see her own way of thinking, quite ruthless when it comes 2 other ppls emotions despite having a poor control of her own and being prone to turbulence / throwin a bitch fit in the craft lab. easily bored. competitive. self-assured to the point of arrogance. forceful. adaptable. usually more rational than emotional but occasionally loses the ability to make rational decisions when blinded by a need for perfectionism.

very goal-oriented. money motivates her. money and clothes. she wants to look bomb while earning big bucks. when she gets her mind set on a project it literally consumes her she will forget to eat and sleep? i don’t know her.  like when a final design project is due for architecture she’ll be up all night doing adderall and speed to keep her awake working on the placement of a single tree for ages cos its gotta be perfect

loves chaos. will spill your secrets and pretend it was an accident. will always be that gif of kim kardashian sipping her tea while drama unfolds around her. lives for the drama like that gifset of bratz when she comes running and gets her phone out to record a fight.

im makin her sound like a really bad person but hopefully she’ll be somewhat likeable she can be very charismatic and endearing and she’s naturally quite funny. also now she’s finally in college and doesn’t have to worry so much about money she actually allows herself to party n bcos she denied herself of it for so long she kinda makes up for it by going p wild like will be the girl climbing on to stage to crowd surf at gigs or doing a summersault off the bar and being escorted out by bouncers, thats the energy were looking at, pure dionysian hedonistic impulse

really gd at talking her way out of shit like parking fines. so good at being an ‘im baby’ girl and often dumbs herself down to figures of authority to appear less like a threatening ball-breaker and more like a confused fiat 500 girl who didn’t know red meant stop she thought it meant slow down

listens almost exclusively to female artists. has fergalicious on repeat when she does squats infront of the mirror n just the biggest fergie stan. also lana del rey’s whole vibe is massive mimi energy

ok ya thats all i have for now..... hopefully this is somewhat coherent and not just garbage.

[cozyteez]

Hii, do u have any tips for writing fics?? I’m so used to writing research reports, lab reports, and formal essays that creative writing has become something I really struggle with. I guess it’s having the freedom to write anything and not knowing how to make sure it’s not corny. I tried outlining a fic one time but it was so frustrating LOLOLOL. Anyways, I love your ateez fics. They are so cute and creative!!

hi !!!! im like rlly touched u asked me and i feel u actually that's why i started this blog; im a biomedical engineering major so as u can imagine i dont get to take much creativity with what i write because writing papers and reports and proposals are so formulaic and u gotta stick to the facts so that being said i actually tested out of all my college writing classes so all my writing knowledge is from ap english in hs lmao so take it w many grians of salt

the #1 thing i do when im feeling sort of unmotivated about a story or maybe like like dragging myself thru mud to write it is to just write the "fun" part first. to me the fun part is usually the climax or maybe the like the "wouldn't it be cute if..." moment that came to mind that inspired me to write a blurb in the first place! then usually once i sort of get the ball rolling on that my brain will help me out and keep the momentum going by thinking of maybe "oohh okay maybe this can happen next" or "oohh and what if this led up to it" or !! just stop there !! something ive learned from my mx writing blog which is like a year older than this one was that you don't owe anybody context especially for a blurb so maybe it really is just 3 sentences of a cute moment u thought of like its whatever ur the one writing it

now for longer fics im going to be honest jongho's first love is my first and only completed attempt at a multi stage coherent story. and that was fueled purely based on the fact that when i look at jongho he just gives off sort a really excited sort of innocence that i wanted to further explore and personify through the idea of him experiencing love for the first time but even then i really struggled w the last part because that's where my personal experience stopped and i had basically nothing to go off of because ive never been in love so i did have to kinda wait for ideas to come to me. for prince yunho i have posted 4 chapters but have all the way through chapter 15 drafted. and by drafted i mean it's like 3 sentences of the overall idea. again, the fic was inspired by the duality between yunho's on stage vs. off stage persona where if somebody was to watch an ateez performance for the first time they may find him very serious and maybe even intimidating but atiny would know that his off stage persona (the one he choses to create for us anyways) is very silly and happy-go-lucky and approachable, which is why prince yunho is seen as narameth's strong and stoic pride and joy but in reality he's sort of clumsy but means well. so i let that and his relationship w xenia who is an original character (OC) sort inspire stories or interactions that i force into a plot line. so for example i believe when i first started thinking abt a prince au for yunho i thought "wouldn't it be funny if the first scene started out painting him as this strong and serious man and then cut to him choking on food or something" and that sort of inspired the idea of him being nervous abt the speech and then xenia came out of that because he needed a complementary character imo since i knew he was gonna be kind of one dimensional and then his backstory with xenia inspired other ideas and then one day i was sad and wanted a hug so that inspired a piece of the plot line and so on. so basically: let an idea or even an aspect of somebody come to you and just write it down, let it inspire other ideas. and don't be afriad to completely start over. i wrote a whole chapter for prince yunho and deleted the whole thing because i hated where it was going and started back from scratch. sometimes you have to revisit things abt your characters and their relationships with others to get a new idea. there's a story in every person and every relationship you just have to find the clues

here's an example of what i mean by "write the good part first". this is typically what the very first draft of a blurb will look like for me

((( blah blah blah basically its raining and y/n is sad bc wooyoung broke her heart two weeks ago idk maybe go into it maybe not)))

y/n is all sad and feeling sorry for themselves on the couch theyre past crying but still feel pretty shitty plus it's storming and cold outside. great

there's a knock on their door ofc they have the cliche "who could that be moment" even tho they lowkey know. we literally all know

so yeah wooyoung's there soaked in rain eyes puffy y/n thinks he's been crying

-this would be the "fun part". i'll fix all that garbage up top later or maybe even change it completely idk yet-

"y/n? i - uh. hi"

he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck while you crossed your arms over your chest, fighting the urge to close the door and walk away for good

"hi? really wooyoung? is that the best you can do?"

(((wooyoung does smth idk)))

"well i just -"

"you just what? showed up here in the rain after you broke my heart and didn't even bother to tell me why? this isn't some romance movie, asshole. you can't just come here late at night and expect to find me all sad and willing to take you back because i'm not. so say what you're gonna say so i can get back to my life"

your face was red hot and you trying very hard, probably too hard, to fight back tears. ((( idk talk some more abt y/n's emotions then what wooyoung is doing)))

"look, i made a mistake i-"

"oh my god! why did i know you were gonna do this. i just knew as soon as i saw you-"

"will you let me get a fucking word in!?"

well that was new. in the entire time you'd known him he had never raised his voice at you like that, your shock causing you to immediately close your mouth and fold your arms back into yourself (((make y/n seem more scared))) noticing your reaction, he lowered his voice back down and instictively reached for you, heartbroken at the way you jerked away from his touch

"please y/n, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to raise my voice it's just that i need to tell you that i regret what i did i regret breaking up with you so fucking much and you don't have to take me back i just need you to know how much you meant, no, mean to me. i still love you, a lot. there's not a day, an hour, a minute, or a single second that goes by that i'm not thinking of you"

"then why?"

your voice was small and wavering, your tears now dangerously close to spilling down your cheeks

"why what?"

"why did you break up with me like that, just all of a sudden"

he pushed his hands into his pockets and looked away

"because that morning i woke up before you and when i looked at you asleep next to me, i saw myself spending the rest of my life with you and it scared the shit out of me"

"why did it scare you?"

"because i just figured you didn't feel the same. i was selfish and wanted to save myself heartbreak down the line and so i told you i didn't wanna be with you anymore, but that was a mistake because it turns out i can't function with out you, i can't breathe without you i can't live without you, y/n. i shouldn't have let you go"

tears were now freely flowing down your face (((okay brain no work anymore y/n kisses him duh and then ofc they make up wooyoung prob says smth cheesy and y/n is like ur lucky i love you or smth ahaha the end)))

tl;dr -> don't be afraid to get messy. creative writing is not nearly as structured as academic/scientific writing. write whatever u want first it can even be the middle of a huge fight scene or some dialogue u think is funny. if ur stuck read what you have or maybe just take a break and let an idea come to you. a story doesnt have to come together til the very end so it can be as messy and out of order as u want until u wanna post it. also i would always use the third person omniscient point of view for a longer story like a chaptered fic as a default and only change if it would impact the plot in a negative way. this is where the narrator knows what every character is thinking/feeling and im p sure a teacher in middle school told me it was the easiest to write and follow

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know i think the main reason that i believed that i couldn’t possibly have adhd (before it became a topic on here) is because some of the people i knew who definitely have it or possibly had it/have it are guys.

the first person i met with adhd was one of my guy friends in my group at public school, who had to give his meds to the office and go there at certain times during school to take them to help him focus throughout the day. he was the hyperactive type.

there was another guy friend in that group who had adhd as well, who always said his constant interrupting of our ancient history class and his needing the social worker who would come to class with him some days was because his having adhd. now if this friend talks to me he blames his adhd on why he hates everything in life and “why just why did i never try in school and you have to fix that for me” basically becomes the main gist of every convo with him.

also i think maybe a couple of guys at catholic school in high school had it too, but the school was much better at hiding it because we had a semi well supported special ed department; so sometimes those boys would head down there and not be in a mainstream class. but if they were in a mainstream class a lot of the time they weren’t in my classes (especially in english) but instead in the bottom class. but they were defs in my maths class because two guys (one of which i thought had absolutely nothing wrong with him but now i think he could’ve actually had adhd- but if i’d thought that in school i thought he was “faking it” somehow so he could be with his friend so he didn’t feel alone in class with a special ed teachers aide).

but somehow i managed to get through high school and uni... albeit falling out of postgrad. although i don’t exactly help pay bills at home (because my dad excuses me from doing it by saying to “save your money” even though i feel like i should be paying at least some form of rent or helping with the bills) i still do buy my own groceries and stuff at the chemist. but sometimes i go overboard with buying shit on afterpay, mostly in the form of impulse buying clothes.... and i was doing this frequently during undergrad uni and postgrad... as if the clothes would fill a hole in me or something and especially after turning in an assignment and when i’d received the assignment back. it got pretty out of control. like once i spent $150 on a vibrator and during on campus uni i was spending like $150 some pay weeks on clothes i didn’t really need except to show off on campus. and this was BEFORE afterpay and other “buy now, pay later” programs were a thing. like wtf did i need to spend $150 on a fucking asos brand trench coat???? ridiculous.

it was the same with tumblr. i remember once throwing a fit because the internet wasn’t working or some shit so i couldn’t use tumblr for a few days. like how stupid is that??? i was even using tumblr during classes in uni, and that creative writing professor i had in 2017 called me out on that during one lesson... being all like “why on earth are you on social media during my class, gwladys?” and i glared at him bc tumblr was basically my entire social life. and i’ve written before about how engrossed i’d get in clearing out my blog archive and likes archive on here, that is do it until 3am without realising how time had really gone by. and it got to the point that i was doing this during my classes (both lectures and tutes) and in my breaks at uni. like it was BAD. that i couldn’t not think about it. i’d also obsess over notes as well, if i made my own posts (and i admit that i still do that).

there was also further back in 2012 and 2013 where i was so stupid jealous at the people who i considered to be “popular” at school would get 50 likes on just one status about something as pointless as “i’m making toast 🍞” or something as equally banal and pointless. so instead i got bitter and started “an experiment” where i’d study who was online and how many people were online at a certain time of day (like 8am before school, 1pm while we were at school, 6pm at dinner and then like 10pm at night before bed) and post my statuses then to see how likes i’d yield on those posts and if it got close to 20-50 likes over the multiple posts. sometimes i was lucky to get to like 10-15 likes on one status at once, and those posts made me feels vaguely successful. finally, sometimes i’d post the same status posts on here to see which social media platform would give me better results. like it was super weird.

then even further back in year 10 i got fixated on getting over the “liked pages limit” on facebook which was somewhere around like 5,000 or something. so i’d spend hours upon hours on end liking pages.... some of which i deeply regret liking when they pop up in my feed for the first time in like 10 years 😂😂😂 then sometimes my friends would post on my wall to be like “DUDE HOW THE HELL DID YOU LIKE *enter stupid fb page title here* AND 645 OTHER PAGES????!!!!” THEN as far back as year 8, i obsessed over the word count (until i finally found it was about maybe 1200 words??) on one of my best friends myspace forum pages where i’d post really fucking weird messages to her sometimes about my week and stuff, when she went overseas for 5months.... and then i turned the word count cut off thing into a competition with my other best friend bc she couldn’t figure it out and i refused to tell her the word limit 😂.

i also did the above with texts on my phone as well, and especially with my web slider phone; because that would constantly conk out when i’d write like 20page messages to my friends. i’d throw it against my bedroom wall and cry when it decided to conk our during those absolutely stupidly long messages. looking back, i don’t blame it for doing that when the phones memory was literally only like 2gb (😂😂) and i’m sure a 20page message would take up like 645 megabytes of that lmao (ok probs not but you get my point lmao). like i basically had zero filter and would write novel length messages to people.... which i still do tbh based on who i’m talking to. i just don’t know when to shut the fuck up. and that’s the same on here lmao.

anyway. this is just another musing on how maybe i could have adhd and i’m not self-diagnosing at all. but it’s stemmed from going through my posts again and people saying that i should probs get tested for adhd bc my behaviour possibly sounds like adhd in girls/women. but the problem is i’ve only ever known guys with it.

anyway don’t reblog this please and i’ll probably delete this post soon.

i just needed to vent again.

[bluepulsebluepulse]

For the "Give me a character and I will answer" thing. Bart Allen/Impulse/Kid Flash!

PLEASE NOTE: Everything said below is purely of my opinion. Please do not take offence to any of it. Don’t waste your time commenting on this to tell me that you disagree and think I should change my mind about x, y or z (it won’t work). Again, this is just my opinion, it shouldn’t have any affect on yours. I’m not asking or trying to change you opinions or perceptions of the character in question! You continue seeing/ perceiving this character however you like! After all, if we all see the character the same way (that is kind of boring). And you know what, I’ll just say it now. If the character in question is one you care about deeply, don’t read below the line! Simple as that! I don’t want any hate for my honesty.

CHARACTER: Bart Allen

Why I like them

LITERALLY EVERYTHING! BART ALLEN IS JUST AMAZING! HE IS SO COOL! Gosh I just, I could honestly write over a million good things about this amazing speedster.

Why I don’t

THERE AIN’T A SINGLE REASON I DON’T LIKE BART ALLEN. The closest thing I have ever come to feel that represented any unpleasant feelings in relation to Bart Allen, is the way some of the comic book artist’s draw him. He is a straight up babe and some of the artists get it so wrong. But that literally has NOTHING to do with Bart himself. Actually I thought of one more thing, but again, this has nothing to do with Bart. I kinda think Meloni should have just named him Bart, not Bartholomew. Speaking of crappy naming conventions, I hate that YJ gave him the title Kid Flash, he is Impulse! It takes away from his identity! Sorry, but he deserves to continue building on his Impulse identity.

Favourite episode

That’s a tough one since he is just the pure essence of all things good in this world… Probably the one where Bart and Jaime are in the El Paso desert. They are blowing up rocks and having the best of times. I’m terribly ashamed I can’t remember the name of the episode. I can literally remember every line of Bart Allen’s dialogue but I couldn’t tell you which episode any of it belonged to?

Favourite season

DEFINITELY Season 2 (not even a contest) - I hate Season 3 of Young Justice *sobs*. I’m legit worried Season 4 will also be a disappointment. I’m such an optimist y’all.

Favourite line

“Stick with me Blue, I’ll keep you from feeling the mode.” - Picking one physically hurt me, but this one…

Favourite outfit

I actually love both YJ versions. I feel like his Season 2 costume is MORE iconic though. It is much closer to the comic versions of Bart I have seen and loved. There are a few comic versions though which make me cringe.

OTP

LOL - just in case my blog doesn’t SCREAM it, BluePulse…

Brotp

I mean… Can Jaime be my answer for this too? Can’t they be bros and lovers (once they are both of age)? I mean look… If I have to pick one (that isn’t Jaime), it would likely be Cassie. I headcanon Bart being Cassie’s gbf tbh.

Headcanon

He is gay and I’m pretty sure this is basically canon in all our hearts anyway (the only time I’ve seen people say otherwise was in this BRUTAL reddit chat which I think she should be wiped from the internet personally). And YJ appears to be delivering on making Bart gay canonically anyway… just with the wrong people. GRANDON… OH HOW YOU HURT ME. I should stop watching the show lol, but I won’t, I need Bart Allen content in my life.

Unpopular opinion

OOF gonna receive some ALOT of hate for this one… I don’t believe Bart has ADHD or autism tbh. I don’t think ANY of the speedsters do. Of course it would SEEM that way to non-speedsters, and I totally get why people stan for it. I just think that the trait of being impulsive or having a seemingly infinite amount of energy to burn, doesn’t mean he has it. I do see why it makes him a candidate for representation though. I do think Bart however has PTSD from his time with the Reach and suffers nightmares because of it (sorry Bart). And I know in my heart he is gay lol. And I defs stan for him being VERY extra, and talking too much and loving to be loud (and he’s just so adorable like that). So I’m not saying I don’t think any representation should be attached to him, but there are certain ones I prefer for him and my perception of his character (based on the materials I have consumed). Another thing that bothers me - and you will see this across ALL characters I ever talk about; is when people try to attach too many representations to a single character. I think it’s kind of derivative and takes away from the individual elements when you cluster a character with ten different kinds of representation. But that’s just me. I don’t have a problem with representation (I belong to several different communities myself), and am fortunate enough to have a lot of unique and AMAZING friends who belong to some of the same categories as me, AS WELL AS different ones too. I hate shows that refuse to acknowledge anything other than the “standards”. I think the world is more colorful place because of these communities, no that was not an pride pun. And I will reiterate, this is just my opinion, it shouldn’t have any affect on yours. You continue seeing perceiving Bart however you like!

A wish

BLUEPULSE NEEDS TO BE MADE CANON! SOMEWHERE! I DON’T CARE IF IT’S IN YOUNG JUSTICE (ALTHO SH!T I’D STRAIGHT UP DIE IF JASON MARSDEN VOICED BART CONFESSING HIS LOVE TO JAIME IN HIS DREAMY VOICE AND ERIC LOPEZ RECIPROCATED IN HIS YUMMY VOICE) (oops did I just say that out aloud? should probs delete this later). I DON’T CARE IF IT’S IN THE COMICS. IT JUST NEEDS TO BE CANON SOMEWHERE. I AM FLEXIBLE DC.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

Please do not harm Bart in anyway DC (i.e. getting shot in the kneecap by Deadshot or dying early from hyper-accelerated metabolism!!! LIKE WTF DC LEAVE HIM ALONE!). Also don’t make him straight, ugh! But most of all, DON’T LET HIM BE WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN JAIME REYES. NOT EDUARDO DORADO JR, NOT VALERIE PEREZ, NOT ROSE WILSON, NOT CASSIE SANDSMARK AND NOT ANYONE ELSE. All of those options make me so very sad.

5 words to best describe them

Impulsive, fast, funny, caring, Jaime-obsessed.

My nickname for them

I mean I don’t really have one and that gives me actual depression… Should I make one? Idk. I love Bart too much to risk picking something lame. I defs know Jaime would have some super cute nickname for him in Spanish. I really want to know what it is.

That is all folks! Thanks for the ask! :)

[03milky]

boyf! junkyu

▹𝙜𝙞𝙛𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚, 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙨 - to the owners, if you don’t feel comfortable with your gifs in this post, please send a message !!

confession

you and junkyu have known each other for a pretty long time

and had this really close relationship

and ofc ;)

he kinda developed feelings for you which he never expected to happen

junkyu always saw you like his best friend, almost siBling (im not trying to make this like some incest thing asksk)

it was just a plain normal day

where both of you would walk to school together

but the moment you walked out THAT door (which is just your house door)

hE saw you differently

he couldn’t describe it at all and junkyu was literally frozen which kinda confused you

“hello sir, is you there”

“HAHAHA yes, here i am. not shocked at all”

that day felt so different and he was pretty quiet

you just thought maybe he was feeling down and didn’t think much of it

ofc on the other side ;))

you, my hun have also a tiny crush on this dude

mOVING ON

when junkyu finally accepted he had a crush on you, he told his members which was kind of the bad decision

“i have something to tell you all- don’t be shocked. i was shocked as well but yeah, don’t be shocked”

“what iS IT”

“i like y/n. don’t come and attack me, i don’t know how this happened. next to that, i don’t just like them, i love them”

the kids would become hysterical which would make junkyu just stand there, awkwardly while he watches the other scream

“NO WAY I KNEW IT”

“IT HAS COME TRUE, I KNEW IT”

“NOW CONFESS DO IT MAN”

“i didn’t have courage to do this, now i need to have courage to confess to y/n?”

“oF COURSE”

the days followed and it was quiet whenever you were around

with a few giggles then and now

it was very confusing since you’ve known them for a while and they were never quiet unless there was something on

you ofc asked bc the silence was bothering you and making it awkward between all of you

“okay, guys. what’s going on. are you planning to attack someone or??”

obviously- jaehyuk was sitting next to you

and gave up on keeping junkyu’s crush on you a secret

“he likes you”

making everyone in the room sCream once again

“OH MY GOD OH MY GOD”

you sat there, bright red and same goes to junkyu

he wanted to calm everyone down by sitting down next to you and confronting you

“i like you, i really apologize if you don’t feel the same way and the behaviour of the kids”

it suddenly went quiet and you were speechless for a few minutes until you said those, 4  words, that made him happier than he already was

“i like you too”

voici the start of something beautiful

dates

hMMMMMMMM

going to arcades with this cutie would be so much fun

he’d probably keep screaming to let the stress out while playing

but 

iT’S FUN

“y/N NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

“i’m the winner, hah”

“you are the winner of this game but i won something bigger”

“please kyu”

“i won your love”

he might say cringy things but that won’t stop you from loving every moment of your dates

junkyu would be so adorable, he’d be holding your hand as the two of you walk

and closely listen whenever you’re talking

expect this cutie to also buy you tons of things even though you dont want him to buy it

“you deserve the tiniest things, like this, mini-stapler”

“are you-”

you’d be looking around the store and turn around to find him buying a stapler and gifting it to you

“here you go, present 4, there are a few more to come”

OH 

next to buying you random things, he’d love eating together with you

especially feeding you

“open your mouth up”

“kyu, you eat your choritos”

“no you need to eat too, you need it the most”

“alright, alright”

watching you eat would make his whole day thousands of time better 

“you look so cute when you eat”

he’d be also the type of boyfriend that would make compliments on everything that you do

you would be just sitting next to him

a smile would form on his face and he’d tell you that you look too cute

“why are you so cute”

“ahhh, my heart”

“you know, i could listen to you for hours and i won’t get bored”

to wrap this whole thing up, all dates with this sunshine are filled with love <3

yall listening to euphoria and writing this makes me want to cry

hugs n kisses 

le dude loves skinship

and would probably give you as much hugs as he can

hugs there n there

as u know junkyu really shows his love, when he loves a person v much

the way he treats you, it’d be ................................

very loving

i can’t even describe it

he’d be so caring, my heart aches just thinking about it

with kisses, he’d be kind of shy

and just do it when you feel comfortable, same goes to him

“you are so hugable, y/n. as soft as a teddy bear”

uwu overlOAD

“uhm so are you, kyu”

pulling away from each other would actually be pretty hard to do

since yall love each other too much

which would be probs with the help of the others

“we need wikihow”

“how to pull junkyu and y/n away”

hyunseok would literally search it up and just end up looking at both of you, helpless

“it’s something that you can’t do”

“tsk, tsk. can’t relate being so in love”

“exactly”

so everyone- you’d be hugging all day long 

which is tiring

but

that’s how it is you know

HAHAHAHAHA i cringed

bless these 2 sunshines

others

oH LA LA

veri romantico

so much kisEU

jk i’ll get my ass deleted 

sO

since your boy is an idol, it’d be pretty hard to be together

but of course when there is time to see each other, you two would meet most of the time

he’d directly pull you into a hug and tell you how much he missed you

“you can’t believe, i had a lot of fun but i really missed you, have you been doing alright?”

“of course, i’m happy you enjoyed it and i missed you a lot too”

IVE SAID THIS A LOT OF TIMES BUT

he’d remind you that he loves you a lot

“you know, y/n. i love you, more than a lot. i don’t think there is a word for it”

which

makes

my heart

ache once again 💞💓💗💖💘💕

he would make such a lovely boyfriend, je give up on this life

anyways

i’m really happy he made it into the final group and wish him a happy debut ???? idk how to word it

but i really hope that you guys enjoyed it

sorry my doods, this the end :’( i ENJOYED WRITING IT THO AKSSK

[kleeboy]

okay im deleting and reposting this because i put a swear word in the tags and it wasnt even showing up in searches for my personal, and i don’t trust the mobile editor to fix my problems but its time 4 me to make a post

Here's what I’ve got for a Thunderbirds D&D AU! I'm not gonna get into numbers and stats and levels because I do that enough when I play normal d&d and I'm gay and tired. Also, there’s probably gonna be a touch of rule bending not only to reconcile d&d with the Thunderbirds canon but just to boost the fun factor a bit. It’s not like we’re setting up a playable campaign so it doesn’t really matter as long as we’re not making it unrecognisable as part of the d&dverse. At that point, you might as well just call it a fantasy AU (still lit tho lmao). This is mostly TOS based but I’ll add some notes on TAG stuff now and then in italics because I’m here to provide. It’s hefty, so everything's under the cut. Hopefully comprehensible.

IR (presumably going by some other name but we’ll just stick with that for sake of ease) is still a rescue organisation - it operates on a somewhat smaller scale but access to magic means it’s got a pretty big reach for typical d&d technology. It’s centred around an ancient deity that few people have heard of and even fewer worship. There’s only one known temple dedicated to said deity and it had been abandoned for a long time before they found it, so it’s currently being restored - if rather agonizingly slowly. Anyway, IR is deity-based because nothing screams “fight for a cause” like paladins! They’re paladins, mostly, is what I’m saying.

Jeff is likely an ex-adventurer, probably a paladin but I’m seriously considering cleric just for interest’s sake so sue me, I love clerics. His party did some pretty cool stuff back in the day, and adventuring pays well as long as you don’t die, so he’s pretty well off. He left the party and settled down in one place when Scott was born, and the rest of them presumably disbanded and went about their own lives eventually. Or maybe they’re still out there causing a ruckus. Who knows. Pretty easy to just say “and he’s not there anymore” for TAG, rationalise his disappearance as you please. Either way, at some point he decided to start an organisation that would make saving lives a bit more structured than the usual “Let's hope a squad of adventurers stumbles on our predicament” that people have been relying on.

Scott is a Battle Master archetype fighter who multiclassed into paladin. Battle Master provides the most appropriate mechanics for a field leader, and also seems like the sort of thing Scott would have been doing previous to IR. He’s the least proficient spellcaster of the group if only by virtue of his class, but access to paladin magic gives his fighting an extra kick which, along with the Battle Master maneuvers, makes him pretty damn dangerous with a sword. It also means he can cast Find Steed, and because said steed’s form can go beyond normal when permitted by the DM and we’re making the rules here I’m giving him a pegasus, which is about the fastest flying mount you could get as far as the monster manual goes. A roc would just be too much. Very VERY cool. But too much.

Virgil is a College of Lore bard into paladin. When it comes to support classes, nothing beats a College of Lore bard for versatility. He’s got the range, darling. Slap an arsenal of magic items on that and you’re well on your way to the d&d equivalent of Thunderbird 2. He has some good offensive spells and weapon training but mostly works to keep others from getting hurt. With a high constitution, the Tough feat, good armour and a shield he pretty much becomes a mobile wall to be put between danger and anyone who can’t take too many hits. Find Steed again lets me give him something interesting to ride, and what better than an owlbear. A big one. Not quite as appropriate stat-wise as the pegasus for Scott but when it comes to aesthetics I’m yet to find something as good as a bear-shaped and -sized owl.

John is predominantly a Divination wizard, with a low paladin level - two maximum - giving him access to a lot of powerful magic but leaving him, how do you say, squishy. Divination is gameplay-wise pretty underwhelming, with not many spells to its name, but for someone whose job is centred around keeping an eye on things, the ability to see very far away and receive premonitions is gonna be useful. The system by which distress calls are sent is giving me some concept trouble but when it comes to receiving it’s as easy as a focus with some capability to project images and sound, gear already necessary to cast Scrying. So, as in canon, rather than going out on missions (at least for the most part), it’s John’s job to keep tabs on incoming signals and active operations. This is all based in the previously mentioned temple - out of the way enough to let me call it a T5 equivalent. He also has the secondary job of making sure nothing else tries to take up residence in the decrepit building. They had to clear it of goblins the first time. As far as Eos goes I don’t have room for all my thoughts (so many) but let’s call her a sentient magic item. Additionally, TAG John probs gets a level or two in cleric.

Gordon is a paladin into druid, Circle of the Land (Coast). He and Alan didn't have any previous class levels before becoming paladins. Neither of his classes give any bonuses for it beyond proficiency for paladins but nobody can stop me from making his primary weapon a longbow, plus the Sharpshooter feat is helpful. Coast druid is the only subclass of any d&d class that has a specific focus on water and what could go wrong if we let him turn into animals? It also has some good circle spells, when he gets to that point. He’d probably have a lot of fun with Mirror Image. There was probably an incident that catalysed his becoming a druid, I'd like to think it's the equivalent of the boat crash just placed on a different point in the timeline. Might get into it at a later date.

Alan is just pure paladin, it's all he's really had time to do with his life so far beyond being a kid and growing up, y'know? I’ll get a little into the subclass here, all of IR’s 3rd level or higher paladins take Oath of Devotion. From the PHB: “These paladins meet the ideal of the knight in shining armor, acting with honor in pursuit of justice and the greater good.” Devotion’s core tenets are honesty, courage, compassion, honor, and duty. Also their Channel Divinity: Sacred Weapon is just really cool. Who doesn’t like glowing stuff, man. Alan's got some more powerful paladin abilities than any of his brothers but probably has the lowest total level regardless. Giving him the Athlete feat, which lets him jump and climb a lot easier, feels appropriate. He snuck a griffon home when it was a baby, and is trying to train it. It's not very well behaved and causes a ruckus when it gets bored but he adores it. One day it’ll make a phenomenal companion. For now, it will continue to attempt to eat his fingers.

Brains is an artificer! Love that class. Artificers, rather than casting spells (though they can do that), make magic items. The artificer class is from Unearthed Arcana and a lot of the mechanics can be hit or miss, it’s been revised many times by lots of different people. But when it comes to the basic idea, it’s the obvious choice for Brains. The less common a magic item, the longer it takes and harder it is to make. The higher level an artificer the more, and more powerful, their creations are. Pretty simple. Also pretty much every version of artificer you come across has some sort of option for a mechanical companion so there’s MAX for you.

Tin-Tin is also an artificer, with a few levels in paladin for good measure. Her time is split between making and repairing gear and going out on missions, and when on call is incredibly useful for lightning fixes and is incredibly creative when it comes to the ways magic items (and nonmagic items) can be used to get out of predicaments. This is the character who constantly has Inspiration. Kayo is an Assassin archetype rogue into paladin. Assassins do… a lot of damage. If you know much about d&d rules (I don’t expect you to), the only thing scarier than a bard, stat wise, is a rogue. +10 to stealth is pretty easy to get by 5th level, combine that with Sneak Attack and Assassinate and you can deal up to 26 damage in one hit with a dagger alone. I said I wouldn’t do any maths but I lied.

Penny doesn’t necessarily have any class levels, though rogue would be appropriate. She falls more under the NPC umbrella, somewhere between Noble and Spy, perhaps? NPCs have a lot less restrictions when it comes to what they can and can’t do laterally, but it’s harder to make them powerful without assigning a class. I also think it’d be really neat to use the fantasy setting to make her nonhuman. High elf would be fitting and cool, but she’d also make a fantastic tiefling. Though, like, call me biased, everyone would make a fantastic tiefling.

I think that’s all I’ve got to say on the matter right now. I have a lot more specific details that I’ll get to eventually but this post is more of a jumping off point listing some options for anyone else who might want to mess around with a d&d AU but doesn’t know where to start. Pick out things you like, ditch things you don’t, add whatever sounds cool, and honestly? Congratulations on getting through this whole thing. This post is kind of in shambles. And thanks! I love taking any excuse to pore over these books.

Shoot me an ask or something if anything’s too incomprehensible or there’s something up with the formatting. Later, skaters.

[dreamin-of-somewhere-else]

To feel guilty or not? (Rant)

So I have a two year old cousin. Cute kid, very much energy. I am not very fond of kids (it is okay to admit that, even though some people think it’s the strangest thing ever), but of course I love him; he’s my first cousin on dad’s side, even. His mom is my aunt who I’ve always adored especially as a kid myself. Now my dad adores this little guy, along with my grandparents who became grandparents again, and my mom of course thinks he’s super cute as well. 

So my aunt and her husband frequently invite us over to theirs, like really often; I see my dad’s side of the family much more often than my mom’s, even though we all live in the same town. Even my dad admitted this week that this is for my little cousin, which we all knew, but no one said. Which is okay, it’s cute, it’s just that my problem is that I’m expected to be there too. 

Because, I’m not really needed. Everyone has eyes for my cousin (which, again, I understand) and this kid pretty much demands the attention as well (because he always gets it) and I just sit with my phone anyway. But I feel like I have to come with because the rest of my family goes and I feel rude if I don’t, and I don’t want them to think that I don’t care. But it’s just so often and I have other things I want to do with my life. I’m young, and my aunt got to do her own thing when she was my age, and all of my other cousins on my mom’s side always got to have their own plans, even if they crashed with, like, one of my family’s birthday or something. I want to hang out with my friends on the weekends, or study, or squeeze in a workout or maybe just chill for a sec. I feel bad to admit it, but coming over to entertain a two year old every other weekend maybe isn’t what every young adult would like to do with their spare time, especially when said two year old won’t remember it later anyway.  

This weekend my whole family is coming over to celebrate my 19th birthday (which means that my older cousins are coming over which is fun because they are a little more relatable since all they do is not talking about kids) but of course, they have to arrange this pre-christmas celebration thing the following day, because they’ve decided to go abroad for Christmas. Firstly, I just feel like it would be nice to chill, or maybe meet up with a friend or something, to just relax since I’m hosting this dinner party the day before, and secondly, I just think it’s not that fun either. I know the whole thing is just for my cousin, which makes me a little bit sad honestly, because before him we used to do things together that we all wanted to do, now all of us have to go along and do the things the kid wants to do. But anyway, my dad asked me if I was coming when he got the invitation, and when I seemed hesitant (because I didn’t want to go) he asked if I was working (because of course, that’s the only reason why I wouldn’t come with). So I don’t know if he’s said that I’m coming or not, but the problem is now that I got invited to this christmas party at my workplace, where I just got hired. One of my friends is going, and I feel like it would be fun. My mom thought I should go, because it would be good to introduce myself to more of the personal too, since I’m new. So now I feel very guilty, because I chose this instead of that thing with my family. I know my dad will be disappointed/a little annoyed, because it’s his family and he adores the kid, again. 

But I just feel like I have to do something for myself, and as a young adult I should be allowed to choose to do what I want to do with my life, my time, right? Cause I feel like the shittiest person because I don’t want to devote so much time into something that I don’t find that nice, to sacrifice things I want to do. I know this is such a small problem really and that I sound so spoiled but I just don’t know how to handle this. I feel like I should be brutally honest with someone, maybe my dad at least (not my aunt and her husband, of course, they don’t need to know and I wouldn’t dare to) and just say how I feel so that at least can get some understanding. My mom is getting slightly tired of always sacrificing her time to just relax and reload to entertain this kid, so I know she’s on my side as long as I keep things professional, but my dad takes this a little more personally. He hasn’t really said anything, but I can tell that he gets disappointed. 

I just - like I’m 18, soon 19, and I just wish they would understand that my world doesn’t revolve around my two year old cousin (who doesn’t really notice my presence that much anyways) even if my grandparents’ and my aunt’s world currently do. I’m just tired of everyone bending over backwards for him and I’m expected to do the same, (and as I finish this off I sound like the biggest bitch ever but I guess that’s just true).

Look I know this is nowhere near what you followed me for, but writing tumblr posts just really helps clear my thoughts. Doesn’t even matter if no one reads this haha. I just needed to express my (slightly angry) feeling somewhere. I’ll prob delete this later, when I re-read it tomorrow and feel immensely embarrassed.