#which is the only way I will ever pay money for it

[clothandclockwork]

They shouldn't have been able to make the journey in their condition, but they did. they had to.

Sure, the journey could have killed them, but what choice did they have? Just existing was painful to them, and not taking this journey would have killed them anyways.

There was something wrong with them. Something very wrong. No doctors could heal them of their affliction, no therapist could make them feel okay with it. The only one who might have a solution...

...had to be a witch.

So they pushed through their problems, over treacherous terrain, beyond anywhere they had ever been. It would have been difficult for a normal person, but for them - who by all means should never have been able to get this far - it was nothing.

Nothing compared to what they have felt, or what they could gain and lose.

The final stretch was through a dark forest... which opened up to a beautiful garden fighting back weeds, and a humble cottage patched by someone clearly inexperienced but well-meaning.

They knocked on the door, and prepared their nerves for meeting the witch.

The witch wasn't like they were expecting at all, and yet very much what they were expecting. She was... about human, more or less, though definitely more or less. Her skin was flawless yet pale, her eyes deep yet cold and dull. Her black hair was down to the back of her fancy red and black dress, and looked silky smooth but off in some way. She was taller than them, but in a way that looked like someone shorter was stretched out. But she was clearly a witch.

She even had the pointy hat.

After the shock wore off, they tensed up and forced themself to speak. "Miss Witch... I... I need help. I can't... turn to anyone else... please listen... to my problem."

The witch spoke with a lighter, softer voice than they were thinking. They expected power... of confident dominance or of arrogant distain, of even firm kindness. But this... this wasn't far from their own nervous voice.

"This one is not the-" she began, her arms wrapped around herself, but then went into deep contemplation. When she next spoke, she stood up straighter and let her arms out wide as if to hug them.

"That's right. This one is the witch. This one has been the witch for some time now. Please, tell the witch your problems and maybe you shall receive what you have come for."

The odd way of speaking concerned them for a moment, but they've never heard a witch speak before. Maybe this is just how they talk?

So they explained their problems, their pains, their dooms. And she listened. Finally, they wrapped up their explanation with a plea.

"Please... take away... my pains... my fears... don't let it... don't let it end me..."

The witch closed her nearly-lifeless eyes, breathing slowly as she thought. "This one may have a solution... but... the witch must warn you. Not only is there a price - and no, not money - but... the witch is not that skilled or powerful. The solution would be... inelegant. Crude. Imperfect."

"I'm already... all those things. And I'll... pay any price... but... I don't know what... I have to offer."

"This one already knows what the price is. You will not be in pain or be afraid any more, but your life will not be what you are used to. You-"

"Whatever it is... please do it."

"Very well."

The witch put a hand on their shoulder... and their arm immediately went numb. They tried to move it, but nothing happened; it hung limply by their side. A moment of fear crossed their face, but it quickly vanished. This was what they wanted, after all.

The numbness spread throughout their body - through their chest which felt no more heartache, through their legs which no longer had to carry them through all this, through the other arm which no longer needed to hold any burden... and finally to their finally-smiling face.

They felt nothing, blissfully free of feeling for a short eternity, before they felt something new.

They felt a weird sensation over their skin, though it was more like a sensation where their skin should be. It did not feel like part of them. Nothing felt like part of them. But slowly... new parts of them made themselves known. Fabric replaced flesh, as their mind reconnected to their body. Their eyesight - which was like watching a video of someone watching a video - became blank until they were looking out of buttons. What's happening to m- to m... to- they tried to think, though even their mind began to shift. The noisy polluted traffic of their mind was being cleared out, simple replacing complex. Everything became hazy, but then clearer than it had been for forever. No more pain, no more suffering, just pure, simple, one-at-a-time thoughts. They were slowly losing themself, but somehow still completely and totally them.

What's happening to this one? It doesn't understand? It? This one? But this one is a pers... peron.. .pesers... doll.

Of course it was a doll! Why wouldn't it be? It always has been a doll, watching over that poor person. That poor, always suffering, person. That person wasn't suffering any more, now. It had to let go of them. It was free from them. This was a happy moment.

Then why did it feel like crying?

"It's okay," the witch said. "This one knows you must be going through a lot."

"What did you do," the doll asked, as the world and the witch grew larger and larger. "What did you do to it? Why does it feel so weird? What happened to the person that came here?"

"This one is sorry. This was the only way to save you. The person... became the doll you are."

"It doesn't understand... but... does that mean that person no longer is suffering? Is this doll... okay?"

"Are you okay?"

The doll was finally able to move. It put its fingerless ragdoll hand to its fabric chin. "Hm... it thinks so. What does this one look like?"

"Well... this witch is sorry, but..." She grabbed a hand mirror, and showed the results. The inelegant, crude, imperfect results. She was waiting for more tears from the inexpertly-crafted doll.

The ragdoll smiled. "This one looks beautiful."

[cicaklah]

get ready for my thoughts on yaoi UBI

So I’ve kvetched about UBI in the tags for long enough someone finally asked me what I was going on about so here we go! 

I will start with some caveats: 

I am British, and so I can only speak about the British specifics.

I have for the past twelve years worked as a professional health economist, and health economics is based on social welfare theory (specifically growing out of Arrow’s work in the 1960s and Sen’s work in the 80s/90s). I literally could talk forever about this, but I won’t. If you want to know more, read the pretty good wikipedia article on welfare economics.

But fundamental to welfare economics is two things: if we make a great big change, do the benefits outweigh the costs? And does the change make a fundamental change for good? (aka cost-benefit analysis and pareto efficiency).

The other thing you need to know about me is that I don’t like activists very much, because they never have to show their working, and my entire professional life is showing my working, and critiquing other people’s working. We all have ideas mate, show me the plan! I love a plan! and this isn't coming from anything but personal experience; I have been to talks by UBI activists before, including ones by economists, but I have never had the case made to me that UBI would be either cost-beneficial OR approach pareto efficient. In fact, it usually reminds me of arguments that are based on some other imaginary world, and then I get so annoyed I want to scream. 

In the early 2010s when I was first starting working as an economist, I was asked to build a model to see whether switching a disability benefit from government administered to individual administration would be cost-effective. Essentially, if you were newly in a wheelchair and you needed a ramp building up to your house, would it be better for the government to organise a contractor, or for you to be given a cash transfer and organise it yourself? The answer was that it wasn’t, but anyone who has ever had to hire a builder could have told you that, and the government didn’t have to pay my firm £30,000 to make that decision. But that is what UBI essentially is; a cash transfer where you get cash and the government gets to enjoy less responsibility.

There are 37.5 million people of working age in England. (Nearly) every single working person gets what's called a tax free allowance, where the government doesn’t claim income tax on the first £12,570. (Once you make over £120k, your allowance starts to decrease, and you lose it entirely at I think £150k)

Let’s assume that instead of just not claiming tax on this amount, the government switched to making that £12,570 your UBI. That is £471,375,000,000 just for England - just under half a trillion pounds. In cash, or nearest as in our modern economy. And not one off - Every year. 

Okay, let's say that the country does have a spare half a trillion a year (in cash) lying around. What is the benefit to switching from tax free allowance to UBI? Well, let's assume that no one stops working, so there would be the tax receipts from the 20% income tax on the £12,570, and that’s just a shade under £100 million. Not bad.

But if you’ve seen a UBI post, you will know that people like the idea because they will be able to work less. Which probably means that UBI will need to be paid for in some other way. Perhaps by cutting existing benefits. The universal credit cost is around £100 billion. So we’re still £300 billion short, and honestly, you wouldn’t cut all of universal credit anyway, probably only the unemployment benefits, but I’m not digging into the maths on that tonight. 

But, look, I am sympathetic. I am a welfarist. I genuinely believe that the economy is not just money, that welfare is happiness, it is utility, it is all the stuff that makes life worth living, and it is the responsibility of the government to maximise the welfare/happiness/utility/quality of life of the country through efficient use of taxation and other sources of money. So people give the government money and it spends it on goods and services and then people get utility, and then they spend their own money to get more utility, and ultimately we can gain intangible things that are incredibly valuable. 

But the problem is that cash is cash, cold and hard and very real. I don’t know how unlimited spare time translates into half a trillion real pound coins. I wouldn’t know how to build a model that complex and uncertain, especially as this all assumes that you can live on 12k a year, and that whatever replaces progressive taxation is equally progressive. I haven’t even touched on how having a convoluted welfare state insures it somewhat against being entirely destroyed after a change in political opinions, aka what I call the daily mail test. You think the narrative about people on welfare is bad now? But also, how would you deal with people who didn’t manage their UBI money well? What happens if there is a personal crisis?

The more I look at it, the more the existing system is actually remarkably good value for money. Individualism is expensive. Collective decision making and spending is just cheaper. 

Ultimately I don’t see the additional benefit of UBI, requiring a pie in the sky change, when it is far, far, far more cost effective to strengthen the existing regime across the board; taxation law, social safety net, childcare, working laws, education and health - all systems that are already in place, and have a thousand times higher likelihood to be pareto optimal and cost effective than trying to find half a trillion pounds of cash round the back of the sofa, while torching 150 years of progress so middle class people can write their book without having to have a job. If I was conspiracy minded I would say that UBI feels like a psy-op, trying to shut down old fashioned progress in favour of ripping it all out and starting again.

Ultimately, that is my real annoyance. It is far, far, far cheaper for the government to provide you with your new ramp for your house, and that is done through politics, but not fun moonshot politics, the hard shit that isn’t sexy.

[liampaynemysteriousdeath]

Media saying: "....Witnesses describe his behaviour as increasingly erratic, including outbursts of frustration and references to his One Direction past."

You think that Liam's frustration included also the thing that he changed hotel cause fans was 24/7 outside his previous hotel, and then the same thing happened to Casasur Hotel?

good question.

Its hard to believe what the media says, and it's also hard to even believe the pictures too. Allegedly they have been tampered with too...

But if you look at these pics. It seems to be the same guy and liam looks pissed.

Idk if the pic of liam standing liam by elevator was taken before or after they dragged him. Supposedly it was multiple times he was taken up and down the elevator. Allegedly, he passed out in the elevator according to some sources.

I had always mentioned on this blog that it seemed like there were no fan pics taken outside the casasur hotel. Only the Hyatt hotel.

Im not saying that one girl who went on argentina news was a liar, I think her name was dayana or Daniella(?). I believe the news station was called general noticias iirc.

And she said he was going to come back down after he was gonna eat something. But it's strange she didn't get a video of him at all? Or even a pic of him walking back inside hotel. It was full glass panels after all. (Also does that mean roger was on his way with food? Allegedly he had brought liam cookies and mcdonalds the previous day?) Because liam didn't have access to his own money. apparently toger was controlling liams money. People think liam was given a sedative through the cookies. Also fans say liam was a big fan of cookies in general. So that was probably the best idea they thought of to drug him...

And now that we see these new leaked pics, I didn't see anyone standing in front of the front of hotel...? No fans...

Cause I remember the gonzalo article talking about how Liam stays at the Hyatt usually, but too many fans found him there. So apparently he switched to polo place. Gonzalo said he was going to join them on that trip(since he owns polo place), but had business in America to do... he also claimed liam was on the phone with him that day and seemed fine. He claimed liam had new phone or phone number iirc according to the article,

To my knowledge, they were all staying at hyatthotel, (roger, lulu, kate, liam). There's video of them getting in van from hyatt to go to nialls concert.

Then in Kate's last video where she leaves, they are at gonzalos polo house villa. Then liam and roger go to casasur. I doubt roger ever had a room booked there. Supposedly Roger only visited hotel 3 times to pay off liams hotel tab. Which also makes me wonder why did Roger bring him food from mcdonalds when he could have ordered something from restaurant. And then roger could have come over and paid for it. Also I had a theory that roger was controlling liam acting as a sover coach, which possibly could've pissed liam off making him more erratic, plus if liam was hungry, hunger puts people km bad mood. Also why did Roger leave his friend alone in a sketchy hotel? Why didn't he invite liam to his house?

Liam didn't seem to have his suitcase, which seems likely considering he kept rotating similar outfits and of course the rumor that Kate left with his credit cards and only had 18 dollars to his name. (See eternal liams twitter for her theory on liam was victim of human trafficking).

And then idk ifyou saw my postfrom other day talking about how lulu was saying do you have the drug an on phone with brayan allegedly. Also idk if you saw my post linking brayan to lula. They've been friends for at least a year. So after the polo place visit, they go to casasur where brayan delivers drugs.

Also the brayan pic seems imo to have been taken back in May when liam went to argentina for louis concert. Liam had a fullerface back then.

Anyways, back to your question...

Did those dudes grab him off the couch and left his laptop there? Then go on it themselves to look through his laptop? There's also the broken tv pic where you can see what looks like a reflection of laptop on the bed. Alongside a possible black cap...but even then people say it could've been a different room staged.

Liam could've been aggravated by getting harassed by the staff obviously them grabbing him would've pissed off anyone and obviously someone would act erratically. But the media tries to spin it like he was crazy and on drugs, etc. Which he could've technically had some untraceable drugs in his system for all we know. Maybe a sedative perhaps. But he was trying to renew his visa which meant he needed to be clean.

I know with almost all substances there is called a half-life and it only shows up in the body for a certain amount of time before it is excreted though the body, whether urine,sweat, etc. Certain substances don't even show up on drugtests. There is a rumor that Christian a, who bought rogers company on the day liam performed at his birthday party (may 2022or may 2923 idr exactly), had hallucinogenic that couldn't be tracked on drug tests. Christian was into mushrooms and hallucinogenics and made a company.

And on liams YT channel, he attended Christians lunch thing. And later liam invested in one of Christians companies and also did an art thing with crypto.

Well also we have to remember that he also stayed at gonzalo's polo place too. No one has made a hard timeline of liams movements throughout his staying argentina. On top of that, that roger has been deleting stuff from liams social media. Tiktok specifically. Roger specifically posted liams last video at polo place to throw people off to show that liam was "fine". While roger did his dirty work behind scenes. It seems that a lot of footage for social media was filmed all at once and released in increments to throw people off his trail.

Also how brayan said that Liam was supposedly paranoid. (If it's true, maybe he was paranoid was gonna kill him.) But of course, people say he was paranoid because of the drugs.

The psychiatrist visit for liam happened during the trip bevause you need a psych eval in order to get visa approved.

And idk if you saw the postsfrom, the other day where i posted screenshots from eternal liam on twitter. She mentioned that mayas family had ties to abc news. Supposedly the first toxicology report came from American abc news. And why did it come out so fast after he had just passed away? It usually takes up to 6 weeks to have results. So it seemed the first toxicology report was from America and falsified on purpose,

Also how would an America source have more Info than the locals? Doesn't make sense.

Sorry I totally went on a random rant again haha. Hopefully I answered your question lol.

[chaos-has-theories]

You know - the Revolution moral of "sometimes the adults won't do what's necessary, so sometimes you have to be the one to step in. Maybe you're the adult now" gets a bit... muddled... by the fact that it's also about "haha imagine Chloé as mayor even though she's 14? Oh look finally her father stepped in and put his foot down".

[tleeaves]

There are two wolves inside me. One wants to embrace a new hobby in dance so I can be active and feel elegant and graceful and strong. This wolf wants to try something new and exciting, finally indulging in something I've always had an interest in.

The other experiences such frustrating emotions on a near daily basis that I want to go back to boxing, which is arguably easier to break into since I've already done it before. This wolf doesn't think of elegance, she just wants to fuck shit up until her body's so overworked and warm it fogs up car windows without having to do anything but sit inside.

Which one do I fucking feed??

[frogeyedape]

I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs

Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this

Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU

SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.

so. 1) not a violation

I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw

I have disputed the fact of the violation

I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH

So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)

OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket

[aeolianblues]

I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life

[imthatwannabeauthor]

.

[castielsprostate]

scammers trying to swindle artists and creatives deserve to get their head smashed in with a rock

[medicinemane]

Saw a poll asking which fast food I'd give up for a week for a million dollars, and it's like I'd give up fucking food for a week for that price, there's literally nothing that wouldn't be on the chopping block when it's giving it up for a week

Not to mention I already barely have fast food once a month, and that's only if you count the costco pizza or burgers from the general store (which are more like backyard bbq style... like... the not great but not bad kind from a grill, you know?)

So... money please, I already won, pay me

[nomairuins]

its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

[anotherpapercut]

How would one find work at a library when they just...aren't qualified or don't have the relevant experience? I'd love to work at one but I don't have a relevant degree or experience in the field (mostly because they keep rejecting my applications and then ghosting me). I know if given the opportunity I could learn how to do the various jobs at a library, I just have trouble getting into the field without a degree.

people ask me this quite a bit and I really don't know what to say because I don't have an MLIS and neither do most of my coworkers. only like 1/10th of our employees have it honestly. I only have an associates degree in mathematics. and honestly, I'm really sorry to say, the only other way to get your foot in the door really is to volunteer. I volunteered at the library that I now work for A LOT as a teenager so I was able to use the librarians I got to know as references when I started applying to library jobs, and I was able to speak to my experiences working within the library

basically the only other thing is starting at the absolute bottom of the totem poll, which I also did even with my volunteer experience. this is usually going to be a library page position. pages are generally the lowest paid, most manual labor job because they reshelve returned books. so it's a lot of lifting and pushing tens or hundreds of pounds of books around all day

unfortunately there's nothing else I can really tell you, there's not really a magic key to working here. volunteering and having a clean record (like, don't apply if you have a bunch of fines on your account) are really the only ways to get ahead at all. even having an MLIS isn't gonna help you much these days without having any experience like that

[im2tired4usernames]

My parents should be fuckin ashamed

[void-tiger]

What do I want? I want to be seen as a peer.

[celestial-moths]

I'm playing a different version of HPHM called "Make Merula Smile As Many Times As Possible"

[louderfade]

exene talking about the state of the world. the good stuff starts at eight minutes. or you can just read the transcript complete with the usual errors that accompany robot transcribed speech (the irony of which is not lost on me). maybe it's not about transhumanism and living forever (or maybe it is who knows), but there's definitely an agenda of surveillance and control at work which is designed to keep the powerful in power. cash rules everything around me and you will own nothing etc. the future is worse.