#which is something I could have done yesterday if I’d known

[raskies456]

should be illegal to give someone a time sensitive task with no warning while they are already doing other time sensitive tasks

I’m gonna start biting

[sparklingchim]

game on 02 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 2.9k

genre: footballer!jungkook, fake dating, f2l

rating: 18+

warnings: lots of smoochies !! 🤭, their first kiss <3, umm mentions of jk's infamous threesome again 😔, koo talks abt taking girls in missionary what can i say he is a man

summary: jungkook and you practice acting for the cameras. kissing him feels more right than you anticipated.

a/n: yayy chapter 2 is here!!!! <3 writing this was truly saur much fun n i hope u have fun reading too !!! 😋

read chappie one here

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

"Just kiss me."

"Hold on a second."

"We really need to practise this."

"I know, just give me a minute."

You scoot away from Jungkook on the couch. You were sitting so close, almost about to kiss him actually, but his intense, doe-eyed gaze made you pause, needing a grounding breath.

You’ve never been this close to his face, and somehow, you can’t seem to cross the invisible line that keeps you from just pressing your mouth on his. Jungkook’s your friend, after all. You’ve known him since he was five and once saw him get his head stuck at school, so of course it’s weird.

You press your lips together in an attempt to focus, and lean in again, but once your eyes meet his, a smile urges on your mouth.

"Oh my god." Jungkook’s frustrated sigh cuts the air. "This can’t already be doomed to failure because of a simple kiss."

"It’s not! I just need to mentally prepare myself."

"I feel...offended? Kinda?" Jungkook weaves his fingers through his hair. "I’ve never had to convince someone to kiss me."

"It’s not you. I promise!" you say, reaching for his knee. "Under any other circumstance, if we weren’t friends, I’d love to kiss you. You’re hot and cute, but the situation we’re in makes me feel so stupid. It’s absurd."

Jungkook cringes when you call him cute and removes your hand off his knee.

Yesterday, when Jungkook showed up unannounced, it took him full ten minutes to convince you he wasn’t pulling a prank on you.

Who would believe their friend begging you to fake date them? It’s ridiculous. Only happens in the fictional world.

But then Jungkook showed you the pap picture that was circulating online. The comments and gossip were nasty and you knew he was caught up in a deep mess.

In the photo, Jungkook was surrounded by two girls, his arms draped casually around their waists as they stumbled out of the club, a half-full drink lazily held in his hand. His hair was a tousled mess, likely from the girls running their fingers through it, and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone, revealing a small peek into his defined chest. It was bold, provocative — definitely not the ideal image of a responsible twenty-year-old football rookie.

Probably the worst pap pic you’ve seen of him so far. And the worst timing too.

"You were wasted," you commented, staring at the article he was showing you on his phone.

"And I had so much fun last night." His voice was tinged with frustration, like a child whose favourite toy had just been snatched away. "But then I woke up to this picture, and a flood of missed calls and texts." He rubbed his hands over his face, exhaling sharply. "They just had to ruin it for me."

Noticing your raised eyebrow, Jungkook quickly backtracked. "No, I know it’s my fault too. I shouldn’t have done this right before the World Cup, especially after what I promised. I just hate how everything turns into such a big deal, just because... well, just because I’m me."

The idea of fake dating Jungkook had seemed absurd, something out of a rom-com rather than real life. But the more he explained the pressure he was under, the more you understood why he needed this.

Jungkook was your best friend, and if kissing him in public could save his career, why not help him?

While you got ready for meeting his manager, stepping out of your comfy, rotting-at-home clothes, which consisted of little shorts and an oversized t-shirt (you think it’s actually Jungkook’s, but you’re not quite sure since it’s been in your closet for years now), and slipping into a casual, more presentable outfit, Jungkook busied himself fixing your laundry machine.

Jungkook’s manager knows you well – his entire team does. You are known as Jungkook’s close friend and had been spotted with him on multiple occasions.

Taesung greeted you warmly, though surprise flickered across his face when Jungkook introduced you as the solution to the fake dating plan.

You felt Taesung’s gaze assessing you, weighing your suitability for the role. Jungkook’s PR agent mirrored his scepticism, tilting her head in doubt. They exchanged uncertain glances, which made you nervous, but Jungkook was determined. Jungkook wasn’t Jungkook if he didn’t get what he wanted. With a few persuasive words and his usual charm, he quickly won Taesung over, who sighed and leaned back in his chair, conceding defeat.

"We need to establish the narrative from the start," Taesung said seriously. "The media will dig into your background, and they’ll want to know if there’s anyone else in the picture. So, to be clear, you’re officially single. No boyfriend, no complicated past relationships that could surface. We don’t need any messy stories."

You assured them that there was none. Multiple times. No angry exes, no secret relationships – your personal life was as drama-free as it could get.

Taesung slid a document across the desk.

"This ensures that whatever happens, no details of this arrangement-"

Jungkook’s hand shot out, halting the paper. "No," he said firmly. "She doesn’t need to sign anything."

"Jungkook, it’s just a formality," Jiwoo began, but Jungkook insisted.

"I trust ___. She’s not just anybody. She’s my best friend. If she says she won’t talk, she won’t talk. The NDA isn’t necessary."

"It’s okay," you assured him gently.

Jungkook shook his head. "No, this is ridiculous. You’re not signing a stupid contract."

After more arguing, his manager eventually relented.

Jiwoo outlined the plan in more detail with Taesung – public appearances, social media posts, carefully orchestrated moments that would sell the story to the public. You felt a bit intimidated by the pressure, but you’d get used to it. After all, this arrangement is only for a few months – just until his management can announce that you’d mutually decided to break up on good terms.

But you both need to practise before stepping in front of the cameras.

Which leads you to this moment, a day later, sitting on your couch trying to practice how to act like a couple. And it’s not going well at all.

"Okay, let’s start from the basics then," Jungkook suggests. He rises to his feet, offering you his hand. "Hold my hand."

You gingerly accept his hand, standing up as well.

"See, don’t we look cute?" Jungkook drags you to the mirror. "Or maybe – let’s intertwine our fingers. I think that would look better." He holds your interlaced hands up between the two of you, a satisfied grin plastered on his face. "So cute, right?"

A giggle bubbles in your throat. "You act like you’ve never had a girlfriend."

"Well, it has been a while," he admits, the slightest sulk on his lips. "I’m too busy for relationships." He swings your hands. "The only times I ever hold a girl’s hand is in missionary, above their head when-"

"Jungkook," you interrupt quickly before he can delve any deeper into the story. You give him a mock glare, but there’s no hiding the amusement dancing in your eyes. "Didn’t we both agree on only talking about your bed stories after I’ve had at least one bottle of soju – preferably two, so I can mentally brace myself?"

You love him, you really do, but you don’t want to hear about his bed stories, unless you’re the slightest bit tipsy at first.

"Oh, yeah." He shakes his head apologetically. "Forgot about that."

"Wait, maybe that’s what we should do!" you exclaim as an idea pops into your mind. Your hand slips out of his, and you take a step toward the kitchen. "I think there are a few bottles of soju in the fridge."

"We’re not getting drunk to build up the courage to kiss," he insists. "We shouldn’t need alcohol to pretend we’re into each other."

Jungkook pulls you closer to him, and you stumble slightly, but his hand instinctively moves to the small of your back, steadying you.

"Fine," you sigh dramatically, hand on his chest. "Was just an idea to make this easier for us." The fabric of his shirt is extremely soft and your fingers glide over it.

"I mean, it’s not like we’re complete strangers. And they know it too. We’ve been through enough to pull this off without breaking a sweat."

He’s is right. The public knows you’re one of Jungkook’s closest friends. It wouldn’t be totally unbelievable that you two might have fallen in love.

After all, you’ve always been comfortable with each other —hugging, cuddling during movie nights, play-fight over silly things just to annoy each other. You’ve shared quiet moments, like when you’d fall asleep on his shoulder after a long day or when he’d run his fingers through your hair absentmindedly while you talked. There were times when Jungkook was exhausted and crashed at your place, your fingers gently scratching his head as he slept peacefully. You’ve kissed each other’s cheeks in thanks without hesitation.

Jungkook’s touch isn’t foreign to you.

And still, the thought of acting like you’re in love when you’re not feels strange. Sure, you’ve always been physically close, but this was different. This time, every gesture would be for an audience, every touch would carry a different meaning. It wasn’t just casual anymore.

"I guess," you reply, fiddling with the hem of his oversized t-shirt, avoiding his gaze for a moment. "I think it’s just weird to be this close for show."

Jungkook watches you for a moment, his eyes softening as he considers your words. "Yeah," he murmurs. "But it’s not like we’re faking the friendship part. The rest...we’ll figure out." His fingers clasp your hip, the pads of his fingers gently digging into your flesh. "Don’t think about it too much," he says. "When we have our first public appearance as a couple, pretend like the cameras aren’t there, act nonchalant. Just... y’know. You and me."

You pout, an involuntarily frustrated grumble leaving your lips as you drop your forehead on his chest.

"I hope I’ll do well under all the attention."

You’ve dealt with your fair share of noisy people trying to pry into your relationship with Jungkook, but so far, it’s been somewhat manageable.

"Just you and me," Jungkook repeats, his tone softer and more assured this time. "Nothing can happen to you when I’m there."

You glance up at him, taking in the gentle lines of his face.

"Maybe you should’ve hired a girl that can deal well with attention," you voice your thoughts.

"No." Jungkook’s immediate response rolls off harshly on his tongue. "You were my first thought. I wouldn’t have done this with anyone else but you."

"I was your first choice?" Giddiness makes your face shine.

"Yeah. I don’t think I would’ve felt comfortable with anyone but you."

"Be honest, you just really wanna kiss me."

You stand on your tippy toes, a silly smile spreading across your face.

Jungkook cocks his head to the side, a teasing glint buried in his eyes.

"I think you do."

With a surge of confidence, you take a small step closer, your heart beating a little faster as you close the gap between you and Jungkook. Your lips meet in a gentle, fleeting touch. The contact only lasts for a moment before you pull back, your eyes searching his for a reaction.

"That was a smooch. Not a kiss."

You frown upon hearing him complain.

"What, you want to make out with me in public?"

Jungkook sniffs a laugh. "No, but maybe a little more than how fifth graders kiss."

"You’re a kissing expert now?" you quip back, narrowing your eyes at him.

Jungkook leans in slightly. "I just know what I like."

The challenge in his voice sparks something in you. "Then show me how you like it."

His gaze drops to your lips, and a flutter of excitement spreads in your tummy. It’s unexpected and thrilling and it catches you off guard.

Jungkook’s hand, which had been resting on your back, slowly glides up, his fingers curling around the side of your face, his thumb brushing delicately against your cheekbone.

Your breath hitches as he leans in. His lips meet yours again, but this time there’s more weight behind the contact – still soft, but deeper, more intentional. His lips move slowly and there’s a warmth to it, a tenderness that makes your heart race even as the kiss remains gentle. He tilts his head slightly, deepening the connection just enough to make you melt into him.

The teasing atmosphere lingers in the back of your mind, but for now, it’s pushed aside by the gentle pressure of his lips on yours.

Kissing Jungkook doesn’t feel weird – which makes it a little weird.

When you both finally pull back, it’s gradual. You can feel his breath, warm and steady, mingling with your own.

"Like that," he whispers, his voice barely audible, yet it sends a shiver down your spine. "You’re a good kisser."

You pull back completely. "Excuse me?" you say. "You were doubting my kissing abilities?"

"No, not at all!" Jungkook shakes his head, amusement crinkling his eyes as he gazes at your sulky face. "You’re just a very good kisser. Like, super gentle and smooth."

Heat crawls up your cheeks. You ignore the flush of warmth and keep your composure. "Have you been using the lip balm I got you? Your lips are soft."

"I know, right? Not chapped at all anymore."

He traces two fingers along his bottom lip and your eyes follow the motion, finding yourself inexplicably drawn to his lips.

"Are we done practising?"

"Do you think we looked natural?" Jungkook’s hand slips into yours once more. While he is focused on the mirror, adjusting the way your bodies fit together – tugging you closer, alternating between holding your hand and interlacing your fingers – your mind is still replaying the memory of the tender press of his lips. "For me, it felt pretty natural. Not awkward at all. What do you think?"

It’s the simplicity with which he says it that draws a short laugh out of you.

The sound grabs his attention. "What?"

"You’re just...extremely serious about this. I don’t think they’ll analyse the way we hold hands, Kook."

"But that’s their favourite thing to do," Jungkook replies. "The gossip mills love analysing every step you take, where your eyes wander, who you smile at." A note of bitterness threads through his words.

He’s been playing pro for just two years and has fallen victim to greedy people intruding on his life so many times already. Former friends who leaked private conversations, acquaintances who turned their brief interactions into tabloid fodder, even strangers who felt entitled to a piece of him just because he was in the public eye.

Jungkook searched for solace and silence at your place many times, trying to escape the madness. In the quiet of your dorm, breathing felt easier.

You never asked questions, never pried. In a world where everyone seemed out to get something from him, you just let him be, offering him the comfort of your presence without demanding anything in return.

"People were just criticising this dude – ah, who was it again?" Jungkook stares at the ceiling, raking through his thoughts. "I can’t remember his name, but this guy was getting called out for choosing the booth seat while making his girlfriend sit in the aisle seat."

"The aisle seat? Come on, it’s an unwritten rule that-" You fall silent once you catch Jungkook’s pointed expression. "I mean, yeah. It’s definitely wrong to make a big deal about it. Maybe she prefers sitting there," you shrug.

"But do you see what I mean?" he asks. "Whether you intend to or not, you’re always judging what others do. And that judgement only intensifies when it involves a celebrity."

"Ah, when did you become so famous Jeon Jungkook?" You sigh, looking down at your linked hands.

"I know, right? Two years ago, no one would’ve cared if I had a threesome." He shakes his head in disbelief. "And now I am being punished for it—kicked off the national team, and my best friend has to save me by fake dating me."

"I feel like this would make a good movie," you giggle.

“We have to practise hard, then," he says.

You pull your phone from your pocket. "What if we film ourselves kissing so we can monitor it better?" You set up your phone on a nearby shelf and position yourselves in front of the camera. "Don’t engaged couples do this? I feel like we’re practising for our wedding kiss."

"Oh, butterflies."

"Huh?" You stare at the way he holds his hand against his tummy.

"You just told me you want to marry me. That gave me butterflies."

You slap his arm. "Stop being silly, we have a whole nation to fool that we’re in love."

~

Hang outs with Jungkook often end with the two of you lounging on the couch, snacks scattered everywhere, and a movie playing on the TV.

"Next one?" Jungkook asks from his spot beside you, inching closer with his pleading doe eyes.

You try to push him away by the, but he doesn’t budge.

"I need to study. Like, for real." You had warned him before starting the movie, agreeing to watch only one, but he still tried his luck.

He holds up one finger. "Just one."

You push him off your body, and this time he allows it, his back slumping against the couch. The grumble of complaint in his throat gets muffled by his pursed lips.

"You’re smart. The material is probably set in your brain anyway. No need to revise anything."

You scoff at his bratty words.

"So you won’t ever need to ditch hangouts for football practice because you’re already so good at it?"

"Well, no." He drags the word out, brows furrowed as he considers your question, trying to come up with a reasonable answer. "But I know you don’t need to study as much as you do. You’re just naturally smart."

"I wish, but I ace my exams because I study as much as I do."

"Aish," Jungkook mutters, standing up from the couch and stretching his limbs. His toned tummy peeks out from under his lifted shirt.

"Karina will be home soon anyway," you say. "And I’m not ready to play pretend in front of her yet." The thought of confessing to your roommate that Jungkook is now your boyfriend makes you shudder.

It was one of the conditions that made you briefly reconsider if you could really pull this off or if Jungkook should find another girl. You didn’t just have to act in front of the cameras – everyone had to believe that you and Jungkook are a couple, including your friends and family. You dread the day you have to tell your parents.

You know they once secretly hoped Jungkook would become your boyfriend when you were older, but as he became famous and the public started scrutinising his every move, your parents grew wary of his wild, reckless side.

You follow Jungkook to the door.

"You think she’ll believe us?"

"I dunno," you shrug. "Not sure if she’ll buy it. She’ll probably be suspicious since I’ve never talked about you in that way when we gossip, but I think we’ve practised enough to at least make it look like we love each other."

Jungkook nods and hugs you briefly. "We’ll figure it out." He steps out of your apartment, typing on his phone. "My manager sent me details about our first public appearance." He scans the text, but quickly looks up at you again with an annoyed frown. "Ah, so many words. I’ll just forward you the messages." With a sweet smile and a quick wave, he starts to leave, but you tug at the back of his shirt.

You cup his face, pulling him down to you, and plant a kiss on his lips.

"You’re my boyfriend now. Act like it."

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 10

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC

A/N: I really hope you guys like this part. This was a sneaky last minute addition to the story. Like I literally wrote this yesterday! Cause I feel like we deserve some brother and sister time with Ophelia and Xaden. Requests are OPEN, and if you want to be on the tag list just let me know! The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

I’d found this spot weeks ago while wandering the halls later at night. Sitting atop the tower, I could see all the the college and the valley and mountains surrounding us. It was beautiful at night. Though the sight of the dragons I occasionally saw was now a little eerie after today. In a few days I would be expected to walk out there and try bond with a dragon. No amount of classes or training from Melgren could spare me from that. It was all up to the dragons now. Least they had deemed me worthy at presentation today. What had I seen today? I was so sure I had seen white. But white wasn’t one of the colours we knew of. No one had ever seen a white dragon. Sure feathertails had some interesting colours to them from what we knew. But this was not a feathertail. I had only seen a glimpse of the white, but I knew whatever it belonged to was big.

A small shuffle on the ground behind me disrupts me from my thoughts. I don’t even have to turn to know who it is. I always had the uncanny ability to know when he was there.

“I shouldn’t be surprised to find you here. We were both good at finding places no one else knew about to get away.”

I look to my right to see Xaden comfortably lean on the pillar next to where I’m sitting on the ledge.

”We’ve always been very similar. Even if we don’t look it.” I say, earning a chuckle out of him.

”I assume the hair colour was something Melgren made you do?” He asks as he reaches out and grabs a piece of my burgundy hair with my natural black sneaking through.

I nod. “Yeah, though I fail to see how my hair would have given away who I was around the college. Wasn’t exactly known information you had a sister. Father did a pretty good job at keeping me hidden.”

He hums in agreement. Only those in Aretia and closest to us knew about me. He didn’t hide me away so to speak, but he didn’t flaunt or announce my arrival. Sometimes I wonder why that was. Was it to keep me safe? If it was, it didn’t matter in the end when they found me with him. It was if Melgren knew exactly who I was when he saw me.

“That he did. Till he didn’t.” He says almost angrily. “Clearly he didn’t send you away like he said.”

I shake my head, and I watch as Xaden’s onyx eyes harden. “No. I was with him, or with another higher up. I never went away.”

Xaden drops the piece of hair he had been holding, turning to look out over the valley, his hands gripping the stone ledge so tightly I’m surprised it doesn’t break. Even the shadows he conjures look as if they want to lash out and break something. I could tell those five years had been hard. I hadn’t asked him or any of the others what it had been like, or what had happened. Part of me didn’t want to. But I’m sure with time I would find out. But the pain and anger Xaden is showing right now, it makes me want to know even less. I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like for Bodhi and Garrick. We are all so close. It would have wrecked them.

”I would murder him if he wasn’t already dead. He promised us he would keep you safe.” I almost don’t hear him with how quietly he says it.

”Technically he did.” I point out.

Xaden slowly glances sideways at me. Definitely not the right thing to say. But eventually he shrugs and nods his head slightly.

”I guess you’re right. You are alive. Which is all I could have asked for. Though, could have done without thinking you were dead for five years and literally so close I could have found you.” He stands back up and looks at me fully. “Did you know I was here?”

”Initially no. I knew you were alive, but that was it. Then about halfway into your first year here Melgren made a comment about you bonding a dragon. And then at a dinner I was forced to attend you and some of the others came up in conversation. But it wasn’t like I was free to roam around and try find you. I always had a guard on me. This is the most freedom I’ve had since he took me in. And I couldn’t risk trying to find you. I needed to play it smart.”

“You always knew how to read your opponents well. Finding strength and weaknesses. Clearly something I’d forgotten when you kicked my ass on the mat on your first day here.” He jokes, the mood shifting.

”Not my fault you under estimated me.” I tease.

He rolls his eyes before shoving my shoulder lightly. “To be fair you had no combat training at all last time I saw you. And I didn’t expect Melgren to have trained you like that. I hate to admit he did a good job.”

I nod. “He did, but I feel like now you would kick my ass. No way could I take you or someone like Garrick down that easily again.”

”You never know. Garrick would probably go easy on you. Speaking of which, what is going on between you two?” He asks as he leans back on the pillar and raising an eye brow at me.

I almost cringe at his words. I knew this was coming. I shouldn’t have said his name, but it just came so naturally to me. I lean back on the opposite pillar, turning my head to avoid my brothers gaze.

“It’s complicated.” I say sadly.

”You could say that again. But it always has been with you two.” He states bluntly.

I look over at him to see him smirking at me. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

”Oh come on O, we can all see it. It’s just you two who are to blind and stubborn to do anything about it. Well, more just stubborn now.” His eyebrow raising at the last part as if emphasising his point. “You two have always drawn to each other. Even when we were kids, there was always something different with you two. And then when we got older, it was pretty clear you two were getting feelings for each other.”

I look at my brother wide eyed. He had know this entire time. I can tell he is getting satisfaction in telling me neither of us had been subtle about our feelings. But I see a small flash of sadness in his eyes.

“Then the rebellion happened and none of us had time for anything like that. And now you have all the time in the world and you run off.”

I go wide eyed. Shit. Garrick had told him. Or Bodhi.

”So they told you then.” I say nervously.

He chuckles. “Garrick wasn’t too impressed Bodhi blurted it all out, but yes I know. Though was throwing the balm at him really necessary?”

”You would have done the same.” I retort.

”Yeah but with better aim. Next time aim for his head to knock some sense into him.” We both laugh at his comment. Poor Bodhi. “Can I ask why you ran? Surprised you didn’t just jump into his arms, would’ve given the poor healer a heart attack.”

Why hadn’t I? He wasn’t wrong. Before I had been taken by Melgren, I probably would have jumped into his arms. But now, it wasn’t as easy. Well, it was. I was just being stubborn.

“Because I’m scared. Scared that what if its not as good as we both want it to be. Scared that if it goes bad that I put a rift between you two. I am not being what could tear you two apart. What could tear all 3 of us apart.” I ramble as I push off the pillar and pace back and forth. Something I had gotten quite good at recently.

“Never thought I would hear you say you’re scared.” He says sarcastically, as I glare at him. “But, you know deep down that won’t happen. You know that if you go down this path with him, thats it.”

”You make it sound like we’re mated dragons or something.”

”As someone who has a dragon with a mate, trust me I would know.”

I look at him shocked. I had read about mated dragons, but had no clue he had one of them. From what I had read, the bond was strong. And riders with mated dragons we’re stuck together no matter what.

He laughs at my shocked face. “Just don’t take too long to sort your shit out. I’m getting sick of him staring longingly at you anytime you’re near us. He looks like a lost puppy, and it doesn’t suit him.”

And with that he walks off, leaving me atop the tower with my thoughts. He was right though. I couldn’t drag this out for much longer. But first I had to get through threshing.

Part 11

[sergeantsporks]

Dadrius Week 2024 Day 3: Secrets

Darius had made pancakes for breakfast.

This immediately set off every warning bell in Hunter’s mind, cutting through the lingering fog of sleep. Pancakes were for special occasions. Pancakes were for first and last days of school and flyer derby match days. Pancakes were for holidays and birthdays.

Pancakes were not for ordinary Tuesdays. Ordinary Tuesdays were days when Hunter poured himself a bowl of Kraken Krisps, or, if he was feeling special, made toast.

Don’t jump to conclusions, he told himself. They were probably just either a ‘thank you for saving me’ breakfast or a ‘sorry I tore open your arm’ breakfast. They probably meant nothing. Still, Hunter squinted accusingly at Darius.

"What’s wrong?” he demanded. His throat still hurt from getting half strangled yesterday, and his voice came out raspy, but at least talking was possible.

“What do you mean, what’s wrong?”

“Pancakes.” Hunter squinted at Darius. He still had on his silk sleeping cap, too—it was too late in the day for this. Hunter could recall on one hand the number of times he’d seen Darius emerge from his room not fully prepped and ready for the day. “And why are you still wearing your bonnet?”

“Hm?” Darius reached up casually—too casually, like he was pretending he’d quite forgotten it was there—to touch the cap. “Oh, I suppose I just wasn’t quite up for getting ready. Strange day yesterday and all.”

“Why pancakes?”

“Goodness, can’t I do something nice? I did maul you yesterday.”

He said it flippantly enough, but Hunter noted the way his eyes didn’t quite hold that same carefree attitude, instead flickering with guilt.

“Hm.”

Maybe it was just an apology breakfast. He could at least eat it before he grilled Darius any further. He took it slow. Darius had cooked these perfectly—Hunter could cut through them even without a knife. Which was good, since he couldn’t exactly hold a fork and knife at the same time right now.

Darius leaned back in his seat. “So, Hunter.”

There it was. He’d known it.

“Yesterday was…”

“A lot,” Hunter supplied. Why wouldn’t Darius look him in the eye?

“Yes, a lot.” Darius took a deep breath. “And I was thinking, that while you recover… here might not be the best place for you to stay.”

“What?” Hunter shook his head, ignoring the twinge of pain from his neck. “Is this because I skipped school? I’m sorry, I thought I’d be back in ti—”

“No. Hunter, this isn’t your fault. It isn’t because of anything you’ve done. I just think, for your recovery, it would be better if you stayed with Edalyn and Luz.”

“Wha—but—” Hunter sputtered, searching frantically for any reason to stop him. “You think it would be better for my recovery to stay with Hooty? That’ll be—it’ll be ten times more distressing. Obviously, I’ll need peace and quiet to heal, which won’t happen if I’m—”

“This isn’t up for debate. Luz is coming to get you at the end of her school day. You will go with her and stay at the owl house at least until your next healer’s appointment. Then we will reevaluate.”

“You mean you’ll reevaluate,” Hunter grumbled, “What happened to letting me make my own choices?”

Darius’ nostrils flared, but his body remained perfectly still and calm. “This one isn’t your choice to begin with. It’s mine. I think it will be better for you if you are not around me right now, and since I don’t want to leave you on your own, you must go to Eda’s. See, this is good, because otherwise, I’d go check into a hotel to keep away from you, and you’d be left all alone.”

“Better for me if—Darius, I’m not scared of you after yesterday! I know better than anyone else what possession can make you do—I know it wasn’t your fault.” Well, maybe that wasn’t entirely true—an uneasy anxiety settled around Hunter if he didn’t keep his mind busy, especially when he looked at Darius. But he knew how he wanted to feel, never mind the lingering paranoia. “You don’t have to trade me off for some kind of—of peace of mind you think I’ll have!”

“Well, perhaps it is for my peace of mind.” Darius stood up, taking his plate to the sink. “I’m not discussing this anymore. I have an appointment—I’ll be back before Luz gets here. Please. Be ready to go.”

Darius stalked upstairs, leaving Hunter with a sour taste in his mouth. Why wouldn’t Darius listen to him? It was like he didn’t trust him to make good decisions, like he didn’t think Hunter was capable, like… like…

Like how he’d treated Hunter in the coven.

Well, not completely. Hunter could say that much—now, Darius brushing him aside ran with an undercurrent of caring, of concern for Hunter’s well-being. But still.

Darius had treated him like that, in part, because he’d been hiding his rebellion. He’d pushed away anyone who might be a threat to his cause, anyone who might discover his dangerous secret. He’d made himself unlikable, a distant, haughty, self-absorbed figure who couldn’t be relied on. Why was he doing that now? What secret was he protecting this time?

Xxx

Darius took a deep breath, pulling his sleeping bonnet off.

His hair still wouldn’t take its abomination shape.

In fact, every attempt to use magic had run him into a frightening wall—it was the same wall he’d felt when he’d first gotten his coven sigil. He could feel the magic blocked off, locked away behind a gate he couldn’t break. But now, now it was blocking off his abomination magic instead of the other eight.

Darius tossed the sleeping cap to the dresser, pulling his locs back into a ponytail. The bonnet had aroused suspicion, he knew that, but his hair would have drawn more. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was hiding his current lack of magic from Hunter, but it felt important. Some sense in the back of his mind told him that if Hunter found out, it would mean danger. For him or for Hunter, he couldn’t say, but it was definitely linked to that gem and to that little voice in his head that had told him to kill Hunter.

Still, Darius was starting to become keenly aware of just how much he used his magic. He couldn’t transform his hair, and he didn’t want Hunter to see. He couldn’t simply warp out of the house, and he couldn’t send an abomination soldier to check when Hunter was out of the kitchen.

Fine. He knew other ways he could disguise himself.

He tugged his old cloak out of the closet, a pang of nostalgia sweeping him off his feet. Sometimes he missed skulking around, having a secret identity, being part of a secret organization. If it weren’t for the looming pressure of the world-ending threat, it would have been… fun.

Hiding this from Hunter, though, going behind his back even when he’d promised to let Hunter make his own choices… the secret double life was less fun this time go round. Regardless, he swung the cloak around his shoulders, pulled the hood up to hide his hair, and escaped out the back door while Hunter opened and closed drawers in his room with a little more force than Darius thought was strictly necessary.

Steve waited for him around the corner with his motorcycle. He raised one eyebrow at Darius’ cloak. “Very inconspicuous.”

“Did you turn anything up?”

Steve shook his head. “Not much evidence, I’m afraid. Even Eber didn’t turn up a trail.”

“No familiar scents?”

“No Collector scent, if that’s what you’re asking.” Steve scratched his head. “I think he said… there was an unfamiliar scent, and he followed it as long as he could. But then it… disappeared?”

“Must have teleported. Unless Eber is emotionally close to the subject of teleportation—such as when I use my warp—he can’t tell where they’ve gone.” Darius scratched absently at his chest where the gem had been embedded. “Well—I’ve found some clue, unfortunately. My magic still hasn’t come back—any chance you’d be up for a bike ride?”

Steve drove much more slowly this time—of course he did, there wasn’t a life-ending threat this time. But still, Darius wished he drove a bit faster. He thought morosely that his abomination teleport would have them there already.

“How’s Hunter? He okay?”

“He’s recovering,” Darius replied stiffly, “I don’t believe he’s particularly pleased with me at the moment.”

“Because of the slicing? Man, that’s rough. It’s not like that was your f—”

“No. Not the injury.” Darius looked away, discouraging any other questions.

Steve pulled the motorcycle to a halt at the old Latissa police station. “Weird place for a visit.”

Darius rubbed his face. He already didn’t want to be here. “For better or for worse, we do have experts on missing magic now. It might not be the same as the issues they’re looking to solve, but…”

“They might be able to narrow the field,” Steve finished, “Any reason in particular why you’re looking at the building like you think you can set it on fire with your mind?”

Darius carefully schooled his face into a calm mask. “It’s fine.”

He pushed the door open, and had the immediate misfortune of bumping into Alador on his way out.

“No, we haven’t made much progress, yes, I will tell you when we do, we are working on it. And we need peace and quiet to do so.”

Darius rolled his eyes. “I’m not here for that. I’m here for… this.”

He pulled off his hood, his hair tumbling down over his shoulders. It had been ages since he’d gotten a haircut—he’d relied on his magic to keep his hair cared for and styled for so long, there hadn’t really been a need.

Alador stared blankly at him. “You’ve got your natural hair,” he said flatly, “What, did you want my opinion on the look? It’s better than the pile of goop you usually call ‘style’ if you really want to kno—”

Darius’ cheeks flushed, and he yanked the hood back up. “It’s not on purpose,” he hissed, “Something’s wrong with my magic.”

Alador straightened up. “Viney?” he called.

A young girl poked her head out of another room, spotted Darius, and almost immediately started glaring at him. “What’s he doing here?”

Oh. Yes, Darius recognized her. She was one of Hunter’s teammates. One of Hunter’s teammates who’d crashed his blimp.

He could have sworn he’d explained himself. Maybe that had just been to Willow and Gus. Or maybe, he realized, noting the Penstagram scroll in her hand, Hunter had reached out to his friends about how Darius was dumping him onto Eda. He wished he could tell her that it had been for the best—that he wanted to keep Hunter safe from Darius himself—but she’d likely just relay all of that immediately to Hunter, who would immediately try to get involved.

Well, wait a minute. “Shouldn’t you be in school?” he asked. Sure, he’d let Hunter have the day off, with the injury and all, but that didn’t explain why Viney was here.

It was definitely the wrong thing to say, though, because her frown only deepened. “I’m here as an elective,” she told him matter-of-factly, “It’s my healing class clinical. Jerbo and I are writing a thesis. Once again, what are you doing here?”

“He came here for help,” Alador told her, a small, smug smile twitching onto his face. Darius bristled at the sight of it, but pushed back the part of himself that wanted to launch immediately into an argument. That wouldn’t be helpful here.

“My magic isn’t working properly—isn’t working at all, in fact. I know it has something to do with some sort of hex cast on me yesterday, but I was hoping you could tell me more.”

Viney nodded slowly, twisting her earring around in her ear. “We-ell,” she drawled, “if it doesn’t have to do with sigil magic, I’m not sure how much we can help you. For instance, if it shares more similarities with the owl beast curse, we’re not going to be much use. I can try, though.”

She whistled sharply, and a griffin bounded to her side. Viney took a deep breath, and drew a circle, a blue circle with a wire of orange twisting around it—healing and beast magic mixed together, Darius realized. Viney’s eyes glowed, and so did the griffin’s—the two moved eerily in sync, pacing a circle around Darius. Viney made a couple of cawing, growling sounds like a griffin, and Darius could have sworn, inexplicably, that he heard Viney’s voice mumble from the beak of the griffin.

The glowing faded, and Viney sniffed, blinking hard. “Griffin senses can often pick up on magic trails witches can’t,” she explained, “Puddles is a great help.” She clapped her hands. “So! There’s good news, and there’s bad news. The good news is, I know exactly what’s causing the magic blockage!”

“That is good,” Darius agreed, “What’s the bad news?”

“It’s your sigil. It’s active, like on the day of unity.”

Darius’ hand went immediately to the mark on his arm. It looked… normal. The same way it always did, no golden veins sprouting up his arm. “No it’s not. It’s not glowing, and I haven’t keeled over yet.”

“Multiple spells layered on top of each other,” Alador offered, “One to drain the magic, another one to mask the effect.”

“It’s not as strong as the day of unity spell,” Viney explained, “It’s definitely the same magic, but I don’t think the intent is to kill you—only to siphon off your magic at a sustainable rate. You know, the kind of energy you’d use on a day-to-day basis, but not your actual lifeforce. There’s actually three spells squished together, but I’m not quite sure what the last one is.”

“Mind control,” Darius growled, “That part’s been broken, thankfully.”

Hopefully.

“Mmm.” Viney eyed him skeptically. “Well—there’s still traces of it. Like I said, I detected three different spells. Be careful.”

“So.” Alador tapped his chin. “Three spells—alright, so, they mind control you. Get you to do…”

“We don’t know. They didn’t get that far.”

I highly doubt they mind controlled me just to take out Hunter, given that he wasn’t even supposed to be there.

“Fine. They try and fail to mind control you, but there’s a failsafe built in, a spell that keeps going after the mind control is broken.”

“If they can’t use my magic, no one can,” Darius realized, “Oh, that’s devious, isn’t it? Makes perfect sense. If they can’t have me as a puppet, they certainly don’t want me as an enemy.”

“Hm. Well, like I told you, we haven’t figured out a way to reverse the sigil magic yet. Short of finding the person who did this, or waiting for the Collector to come back and see if they can reverse it, there’s not much you can do. Without the source…”

“I’ve got the source.”

Darius jumped. He’d forgotten Steve was even here. But the ex scout pulled a small pouch out of his pocket. “What did you…?”

“The pieces of the crystal. The source. I gathered up what I could—gloves on of course.”

Alador snatched the pouch from Steve’s hand. “We can get somewhere with this.” He glanced up at Darius. “Can’t promise it’ll be our top priority, but we’ll certainly give it a look.”

Darius acknowledged the statement with a cool nod, but turned towards Viney as a thought struck him. “Don’t tell Hunter I was here?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to worry him. And I don’t want him getting involved and trying to investigate on his own.”

“Mmm. Fair enough.” Viney crinkled her nose at him. “He’ll figure it out, though. I mean, with your hair the way it is, and the fact that Steve’s driving you places…”

That much was true. Unless… Darius sighed. “Alador, I have one last favor to ask you.”

“You are full of them today, aren’t you?”

“Nothing big, just a quick ask. You don’t happen to still have any of Odalia’s old concealment stones, do you?”

When Steve finally dropped Darius off—again around the corner from his house—Darius’ hair floated once again over his head. Or, at least, it looked that way. Darius checked once again to make sure the concealment stone was tucked out of sight, and finally went back home.

To his relief, Hunter’s duffel bag was full, and Darius noted an open drawer.

Much less assuringly, Hunter sat on the floor, leaning against his dresser with his eyes closed. His skin was paler than it had been this morning—shouldn’t the opposite be true? He should have cooked something else for breakfast, something with more protein and iron in it.

“Hunter?”

“Mm.” Hunter opened his eyes, although they still drooped considerably. “Oh—hi.”

“Are you alright?”

“Just… tired.” Hunter rubbed his eyes with his good hand. “I guess I just overdid it a little bit when I was packing. How was your… appointment?”

Even in his exhausted state, Hunter’s eyes darted across Darius’ face with an alert calculation that made Darius pause before answering.

“Fine,” he said finally.

Hunter’s eyes flicked up to his hair, to the old cloak he wore, and a small frown pulled at his mouth.

“You’re all packed?” Darius asked briskly, moving the conversation away, “You remembered your toothbrush?”

Hunter gave him a distracted thumbs up. “Your appointment, did it have to do with—”

“Steve is close to apprehending the culprit.” The lie slid off Darius’ tongue so easily it startled him. He should find lying to Hunter harder than this, shouldn’t he? But maybe old habits died hard, and, of course, this was to protect him. He had to keep his issues a secret, to protect Hunter from them. “That’s what the meeting was about. Steve’s been working hard to find out what happened yesterday, and he was giving me an update. He’s close. The situation is almost completely handled.”

Hunter eyed him skeptically. “…Right.”

“Are you sure you’re feeling alright? You seem…”

“It’s just the blood loss. I’m fine.” Hunter got to his feet, leaning on the dresser for balance. “Whoa—dizzy.” He took a deep breath. “I still don’t like that you’re sending me away.”

“I don’t like it either. Believe me.”

“I do believe you,” Hunter said lightly, but Darius could hear the sentiment behind his words clear as day.

I believe you about that. But I know you’re hiding something.

Darius shook himself. “Let me get your bag. Luz will be here soon.”

Hunter would go away, and would be safe from this mystery. Darius would resolve the issue on his own, perhaps with some help from Steve, Alador, and Viney. And then Hunter would come back. Maybe after it was all over, Darius would tell him the whole story.

But for now, it had to stay secret.

[starknightgirl]

Beyond the Starless Sky, Chapter 1

This is the first of (hopefully) three chapters for my story for the @inklings-challenge. I'm on Team Tolkien and I chose to do a Secondary World story with the main theme of Comfort the Sorrowful. I'm not sure how well I did on the theme part for this chapter. As of the writing of this post, it is the only complete chapter. It is very unpolished so constructive criticism is entirely welcome.

-✦✦✦-

Chapter 1: The Shining City Below

“I, Camilla Rowen, on this, my majority, do hear-by swear to fulfill the Crown Trial.” I said, heart hammering in my chest as I knelt before the Regent Council. “I shall set forth from Adytum and I shall not return until the Crown is returned to our home.”

The crowd gathered at the back of the council chamber erupted in a flurry of whispers. But the Regent Council in front of me was stony in their silence. I swallowed nervously.

Finally, the Prime Regent in the center, a severe man named Braden, nodded. “Very well.” He said. “Let it be known that from tomorrow on, Camilla Rowen has set upon the Crown Trial. She shall be sent to the surface and shall not be welcome back until the Crown is returned.”

I stood and bowed before exiting the chamber. I managed to take four steps out into the city proper before what I’d just done caught up to me. It fell upon me like a heavy weight.

I had all but exiled myself from Adytum. The cavern city, with its familiar luminescent ceiling and walls. The only safe-haven from the Wraiths that stalked the surface. My home of eighteen years. What had I just done?

I’m not sure how long I stood outside the Regent Council Chambers frozen in fear. But it was long enough that Eskil, my best friend found me there. And he was furious.

“The Crown Trial?! What were you thinking, Camilla?!” Eskil yelled. He was still wearing his knight uniform. He must have just come off duty then.

“It’s the only way I’ll find out what happened to my brother, Eskil.” I said, throat tight.

“It’s a death sentence, Camilla! You and I both know what happened to Aidan. He died on that fool’s errand just like everyone else who sought the Crown!” Eskil said. “Or are you not wearing mourning braids for him even now?!”

I slumped slightly. Eskil was right. I didn’t wear my braids just for my parents. But even still.

“I need to know. I could be— We could be wrong.” I said, before adding in a whisper, “besides, you and I both know the only skill I know is illegal surface ruins scavenging, which I can’t exactly get a job doing legally.”

“You could be a knight like me.” Eskil said. “Please don’t throw your life away on this worthless quest! There’s a reason no one has tried since Aidan!”

“It’s too late.” I said, hoping I sounded more resolved than I felt. “I already swore myself to the Trial. I have to leave tomorrow. No matter what.”

Eskil sighed deeply. “I wish you had told me you were planning on doing this.”

“You would’ve tried to stop me.” I said softly. Might have succeed too.

“Yes, because it’s a bad idea!” Eskil said. Then he sighed, his shoulders slumping. “But I suppose it’s too late for that now.”

“It is.” I said. “I’m sorry, Eskil.”

“No, I’m sorry.” He said. “You should go pack. You’re going to have a long night in front of you.”

“It’s alright.” I said, nervous to admit something that would probably make Eskil feel worse. But I pushed through it. “I packed yesterday.”

He sighed. “Of course you did. Alright, well, since you’re doing this, I’m going to look over what you packed. A second pair of eyes could help make sure you’re not missing anything you’ll need.”

“Thank you, Eskil.” I said.

“Don’t thank me yet.” He said. “I’ll be a bit— I should go drop off my kit.”

“Alright.” I said. Then, trying to be a bit humorous, I added, “don’t take too long though or I’ll leave without you.”

It didn’t really land well. He just groaned. “Please don’t joke about that, Camilla.” Which was perhaps a bit fair.

-✦✦✦-

My home was a small alcove close to the surface which had been walled off for privacy. There wasn’t much here. Especially not now that I had packed pretty much all of my worldly belongings into my backpack. My very battered backpack— the number of times I had to sew and patch that bag up, well. At least it would only have to survive one more journey.

Honestly, I was lucky to have a home at all. Even if it was a mere stone’s throw from the entrance to the cavern. Adytum had a serious overpopulation problem— the cavern wasn’t exactly designed for the population that had squeezed its way into it. Plans to expand the caverns had been proposed, but they were dangerous. The last thing anyone wanted was for the cavern to collapse on the city.

Still, there was a cowardice in the way that the Regent Council refused to consider any plans to expand. But then, I suppose it was easy for me to judge from the outside looking in. I tried to remind myself of that every time the Regent Council’s petty in-fighting and self-interested selfishness got on my nerves. It was rather hard at times.

Maybe finding the Lost Queen wouldn’t help. I wanted to be optimistic about it all. I wanted to believe I would find my brother alive and we would bring the Lost Queen to Adytum. But even if I managed to succeed in all parts of my quest, there was every possibility it would just make Adytum’s precarious situation more unstable. The Regent Council all swore an oath to support the Queen when she returned. But how many of them would uphold it?

I shook my head. That was putting the chicken before the eggs. I had to find the Lost Queen first. I had to succeed where so many before me had failed. Some much more well equipped than me.

“Well, this place looks slightly more bare than usual.” A voice said from behind me.

I jumped, my heart racing, before I realized who it was. “Don’t scare me like that, Eskil!”

“Sorry, I knocked but you didn’t answer.” He said, walking over to me. “I figured you wouldn’t mind me just entering.”

“You don’t have to knock, Eskil. Just don’t sneak up on me like that!” I said as I turned to face him. He had indeed taken off his gambeson, mail and helmet, leaving him in a dark tunic and pants. He also had what looked to be a large pole wrapped in a cloth. “What’s with the pole?”

“It’s a gift.” He said. “I’ll show you in a bit. First, what did you pack?”

“Nothing too crazy. A canteen of water. Hardtack, some oats and a bit of honey. A small metal pot and spoon. A fire-starter. A bedroll. Linen and rope for shelter. A spare change of clothes. And, of course, my crystal lantern.” I said.

Eskil smiled fondly. “You were so disappointed when Aidan gifted that to you. But that little lantern has probably saved your life several times.”

“Well Aidan wasn’t too happy when he realized giving me it allowed me to take more risks while scavenging.” I said sheepishly. “So, what do you think?”

“Seems like a pretty good kit.” He said. “I don’t want to know where you got a fire-starter, do I? You know they’re heavily regulated here.”

“I only got it a few days ago, Eskil. Don’t worry, I haven’t been sitting on an illegal fire-starter for years.” I said.

“I said I didn’t want to know, Camilla.” He said, but his tone was fond.

I shrugged slightly. “I mean, I didn’t tell you where I got it. Just when I got it.”

“You’re incorrigible.” Eskil said.

I grinned at him, half-bowing sarcastically, “with pride.”

“There is something you’re missing though.” He said, with a slight air of theatricality.

“Oh?” I said. “Might that be your mysterious present?”

Eskil unwrapped the object he’d brought. It was a sword, securely held in a rust-colored leather scabbard that matched the hilt. “I meant for you to take this on your Knight Trial but luckily it still works for this too. I hope you never have to use it. But just in case.”

“I— I don’t know what to say, Eskil.” I said. “Surely this cost way too much.”

Eskil rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well, actually, I made it.”

“What?” I said, staring at him in shock. “How? What about the Smith Trial?” I couldn’t comprehend the idea that Eskil of all people might’ve broken the law.

“I’m not selling it, it’s a gift.” He said with a grin. “It’s a bit of a loophole but no one ever said you needed to pass any Trials for gifts. Oh, speaking of, you haven’t seen the best part yet.”

With a flourish, Eskil unsheathed the sword. But surprisingly, where I expected to see metal, was instead a crystal blade. It shone, filling every shadowed corner of my home with light.

“Wow.” I said. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah, but it’s also practical.” Eskil said with a shrug, dropping the scabbard on my bed. “If, heaven forbid, you end up running into some Wraiths, this should help more than a regular sword.” Then he gently handed the sword to me.

I stared at it, baffled. “Weird.” I said. “I expected it to be heavier. I mean, not that it’s light by any means, but it’s made of bright crystals right?”

“Well, sort of.” Eskil said. “There is a bright crystal core to it. But you’re right. Bright crystals alone would’ve been too heavy— that’s probably why no one has made a sword like this before. But notice how the surface is clear? I used aninite.”

“But aninite isn’t clear.” I said, turning the sword in fascination. Most of the cavern walls here were made up of ainite; that lucky fact had probably saved us all because aninite was a very light, yet strong rock. But those walls were also every shade of dark gray.

“It’s not usually, no.” He said. “But I heard of some bright crystals that don’t glow. And I got curious. And it turns out, they’re not bright crystals at all. Under the right circumstances, aninite can be everything from a smoky gray to full on clear like here.”

“That’s amazing.” I said. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep it?”

“I’ll feel better knowing you have it.” Eskil said. “I made it with you in mind. Besides, I can always make another one.”

I gently set the sword down on my bed and grabbed Eskil in a tight hug. “Thank you, Eskil. For everything.”

“You’re welcome, Camilla.” Eskil said. “Now come on, if this is going to be your last day in town for awhile, you deserve to have some good food for once.”

I tried to smile, even though I could feel the weight of the Trial looming over me. “Alright. Let’s go.”

-✦✦✦-

I shifted nervously standing before Adytum’s main gate. There were other, narrower tunnels out, even though there weren’t supposed to be. Most of those I knew like the back of my hand. But I had never actually left by the main entrance. My surface expeditions were illegal after all and the main gate was where the guards stood watch.

My new sword was an unexpected weight on my right side, but my backpack was little heavier than I was used to. It should’ve felt almost like a normal expedition. It really didn’t. There was something about knowing how I might never return. It weighed on me.

Last night had been amazing. I had never wanted it to end. But eventually it had, Eskil forcing me to go home early to get sleep for my early departure time. I had not slept well.

Surface travel was going to be hard. On my expeditions I had always left just after sunrise and come back before sundown to avoid the Wraiths. I no longer had that option. A nocturnal schedule would allow me to defend myself at night. But traveling by day would be safer. There didn’t seem to be a good option.

“Nervous?” Eskil said as he walked up from behind me. It was his day off so I wasn’t too surprised to see he had once again forgone his armor.

I nodded, turning to face him. “Mostly I’m waiting for them to be ready. Well, that and trying to determine if it’s better to travel by day or by night.”

“Try by day first.” Eskil said. “A properly secured campsite might be able to save you from having to fight Wraiths at all.”

“Or get me killed.” I said, shifting nervously.

“You’re going to be fine, Camilla.” He said. “I believe in you. Trust me, the surface is survivable. And I know that you of all people can do it.”

“I’m going to miss you.” I said. “Especially if— if I fail.”

“Hey, don’t think like that.” He said. “You’re going to be the one to pass this Trial.”

“You didn’t think that yesterday.” I said, slumping slightly. “What if this is really as you said, a death sentence?”

Eskil sighed. “You’re right. I didn’t think that yesterday. But that had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. Me and my fears. Because when I really stop to think about it, I know you can do it. I believe in you, Camilla.”

“Thanks, Eskil.” I said.

“Hey, it’s all I can do for you now.” He said.

“It still means a lot.” I said, pulling him into a hug. “I’m going to miss you.”

“You’ll just have to pass your Trial then.” He said, slowly pulling back. “Go onto victory and safely return.”

“May your path be lit until that day.” I said softly.

“For having known you, it will be.” He said with a bittersweet grin. “Now, go on, you’re going to be amazing!”

“That’s not part of it!” I said, shaking my head fondly, turning towards the gates. The guards were changing to the day shift which meant it would be time soon.

“I don’t care, it’s true!” Eskil called after me.

“If you say so!” I said, not even bothering to turn back. In front of me, the guards finished swapping. I walked towards the one on the right. He was in charge of the gate. That meant he would be the one alerted to my Trial and subsequent departure. I felt surprisingly steady all things considered.

“You Camilla Rowan?” The guardsman asked. He probably didn’t see too many people trying to leave given the circumstances.

I nodded. “That’s me.”

“Here. Your Crown compass. Don’t lose it.” He said, handing me what looked like a compass made of dark opaque crystal.

I’d only seen one once before, when Aidan had set out on his quest, but its appearance was seared into my brain. A dark opaque crystal compass set with white markings hung on a leather strap. An enchantment on the needle would make it always point to the Lost Queen. It would be my guide for the Trial, leading me in the straightest possible route. Of course, it also didn’t account for obstacles in the way.

“Camilla Rowan,” the guardsman said sternly, “Return with the Crown or not at all.”

“I— I swear I will.” I said.

The guardsman opened up a door into the guardhouse. Another guard stood there to lead me out. The last memory I had of Aidan was of him walking this same route.

At the time, I had imagined that they would open the portcullises for him; I imagined I would watch him walk up the cavern entrance until he vanished from sight. It had rather broken my imagination to learn that there was a hatch between the two portcullises that single travelers could exit via rope ladder. Only one portcullis need open, the outer one.

In hindsight it was a silly assumption because they didn’t even open both portcullises when the Knight Trial candidates needed to leave. They cycled the portcullises, first one the the other.

The journey through the guardhouse was short— I spent most of it lost in thought and was quite surprised only a few minutes later to have already made it to the exit. The hatch was larger than I expected, but certainly not beyond measure. The guardsman anchored the rope ladder and then opened the hatch. He threw the ladder down.

My hands felt clammy as I slowly climbed my way down. The ladder seemed to sway with every step, sure as they were. Compared to the walk through the guardhouse, the short climb down seemed of interminable length. Still, eventually I reached the end. I stepped off the ladder and had but a moment to catch my breath before one of the portcullises slowly rose.

It revealed a tunnel of dark gray rock, much more wide than the passages I was used to sneaking out of. Maybe that was what made it feel so different to leave. Maybe it was that the Crown Trial had just begun. At any rate, I was on my way.

-✦✦✦-

1 2 3 - Next Chapter >

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: The UnIntended Series {Book 1: UnExpected}

Okay, so I'm actually nervous to post this. It's wild. With my fanfiction, I don't really feel nervous having others read it, but this---😬.

Anyway, here is chapter 1. As of now, I'm not sure if I will post the 2nd one. Again it'll only be up for a day or two then I will delete it.

To anyone reading it please give me some feedback rather than a "like". I am partly using this as a focus group/beta read session so feedback is crucial. What did you think? Any part you liked or disliked? Would you want to continue it from the 1st chapter alone? If you came across it in a bookstore or Amazon, would you buy it?

Note I: This has NOT been edited beyond small grammatical issues. Also, I am not 100% sold on the name "Daryl" so don't let it be a hang-up.

Note II: Everything here has been officially copywritten so be careful, I'm the wrong one to try.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Prologue

He was my addiction. My cloudy sky. My stormy night my thunderstorms. He was my chocolate brownie with the chocolate ice cream on top. He was my passion my need my obsession. He was my poison. My sweet, delicious poison and I couldn't get enough--wouldn't get enough. I needed him like I needed air water food. It was never enough. His sex was killer, his kiss was sugar, and his body was the best creation made by the creator. His love was death. He was--my ruin.

Chapter 1

“Ughhhh, deeper, harder, uuuugh, yes. Right there, right there. Don’t stop! God, yes, yes, yes, yessssssssssssssssssss!”

Though my vocabulary was quite advanced, no other words could form. The sensations had taken on a life of their own.

“Oh shit, damn baby”.

He drops on the bed next to me panting heavily filling the air with our combined scent. I moan deeply still feeling the power of him between my thighs, “That was amazing La”, Daryl says using the name he’s always called me since college.

I remember the day we met in college like it was yesterday instead of the nearly eight years it actually had been. I was coming up the steps in the rec room not looking where I was going then bam I ran smack into him. At that time we were both kids, barely nineteen with plenty more to learn about the world and the affairs of the heart. When I looked at him it was all over, then when he smiled that lopsided, slick grin of his, I was a goner. Signed sealed delivered I was his. He must have known it too. There was no way he hadn’t because the smug look on his face said it all.

He’d said, “I haven’t ran into anyone as beautiful as you around here, I have to know your name”.

Boy was it a cheesy line, but I was nineteen after all and it was the flyest line I’d heard. I was his.

“You’re just going to leave me hanging?”

Daryl’s voice brought me out of my memory, a memory that was once your favorite but was slowly becoming one you wished you could forget. Looking over next to me, I find his dewy brown eyes staring into me with a questioning look.

“Oh I’m sorry my mind was wandering, it was amazing, but--,” I stretch out rolling onto my side and bring my hand to toned his chest. Slowly I trail my fingers down his smooth skin over each ab muscle, down past his mind dumbing oblique indentations to his still alert appendage. The moan that escaped him was a deep throaty one that said he was more than ready for round three.

Smiling, I lean closer slipping the tip of my tongue along the shell of his ear. “It’s always been amazing, I’m always amazing”, I say in a self-satisfied way before continuing to lick his ear.

“Mmm, you’re bad. Trying to start something?”

That same lopsided smirk decorated his lips and my belly flipped.

“Nope, who said we were done to begin with?”

Without missing a beat, Daryl crashed his full lips into mine, but it was me who took control of the kiss. The passion between us was evident and I was sure that if the room had smoke alarms we would have set them off. Another sensual moan escaped his lips which made my nether regions clench from the desire to have him nestled there again. Just as his movements became urgent and his kiss needy, a loud sound filled the silence pf the space.

Buzz, buzz. Buzz, buzz.

“Mmm, ignore it,” I coax continuing the pleasurable attack my hand was doping under the black sheet of Daryl’s bed.

“Ah, baby,” he groaned out as my finger glided across the smooth tip of his manhood.

With more urgency, Daryl pressed himself against me then brought his large hand to trace along the right side of my body until he cupped my breast.

“Mmm,” I say tightening the grip of my hand around him.

Daryl’s response was to tweak my sensitive and aching nipple between his thumb and forefinger. The action easily brought more moans of pleasure from my lips. It also served the purpose of distracting me. When I felt his other hand skim across my stomach then dip lower and lower the anticipation in me had my back arching off the bed.

Once he made it to the sweet spot between my thighs a high-pitched sigh escaped me. Within seconds he had me panting and mewling from the skill of his fingers and within seconds I needed more of him. Daryl was good at many things, but the one thing he excelled at hands down was his ability to get me from zero to one hundred in thirty seconds flat. It was a skill he’d developed in college and had never relented in holding the record for.

Buzz, Buzz. Buzz, buzz.

I felt the absence of him before he pulled away but when his hand left my body he spoke against my lips, “It could be work, La”.

In this very moment you didn’t give a flying fuck if it was work. Right now there were much more important matters at hand. That was all it took to spark my anger. It was a small action, but it spoke volumes and brought memories of other times before where he’d seemed so aloof. Using all the self-control I possessed coupled with some learned tricks to decelerate my emotions, I clenched my jaw and silently willed my anger to remain in check.

With my eyes glued to him, I watch on as he glances at his phone screen then types in the unlock code. When his face illuminates white from the screen, I continue to watch and crane my eyes to get a glimpse of his screen to see just what it was that had interrupted your moment. Almost as soon as it opens there is a picture of a pretty woman with her legs spread eagle butt naked.

“Oh”,” Daryl rushes out as he jerks from me. The sudden movement has him fumbling his phone but with a stroke of last-minute grace he holds it close to him, hiding it from me. Too late.

The tight hold I had on my anger was suddenly not enough to contain it. With almost inhumane speed, I bolted upright and glared at him sending a thousand hot blades through my eyes in his direction.

“What the hell was that!?”

The heat on my face quickly spread down my neck until my chest felt like I was standing in direct sunlight on the hottest day of summer.

Daryl shrugs, “Nothing”.

“Don’t nothing me, I saw that. Who is that”?

He reached over the bed and placed his phone on the bedside table. “I don’t know La. Must have been a wrong number. It’s nothing”.

My nose crinkled from the stench of his lie. They always had their own distinct scent. I always knew when he was lying and unfortunate he was lying more often than not. “

“Oh nothing? That’s nothing!? So, it’s nothing when you’re getting naked pictures while you’re in bed with me?”

I hadn’t meant to scream the words but once they were out they bounced off the walls, echoing in the room.

“La, calm down,” Daryl cautiously encouraged, “She’s no one.”

Suddenly I felt as if I was going to be sick. The tight knot in my stomach spasmed, a familiar feeling. “No one! So if she’s no one, then what am I?”

Daryl rolled his eyes, and sighed in the exaggerated way he did when he was annoyed with the direction something had taken, “God here we go”.

When he dropped back onto the bed, you bolted to your feet. He was annoyed? Shit, I was past annoyed right now and I had every right to be.

 “Yes here we do, Daryl. What the hell is wrong with you? Who is that woman and why is she sending you naked pictures?”

Silence filled the space as he laid there staring into the ceiling completely ignoring me. He knew how much I hated it when he did this. I was convinced he did it because I hated it so much. I didn’t want to go irate right now, but I was seconds away from going atomic.

“Hello!”

Another sigh came from him before he sat up and reached for me. With his hand inches from my breast I leaned back and slapped it away. It was supposed to be a regular hit but because of my anger it was much more than a regular hit. It was a hard one that made the sting from it ricochet through your hand.

“You know what, fuck you Daryl.”

Without missing a beat, I turned and walked to the chair across the room where my clothes were currently draped over. It was time to go. I shouldn’t have even been here to begin with. Keeping my back to him I began putting on my clothes.

“Unfuckinbelivable! Every time is the same mess. The same thing!”

Angrily slinging my shirt over my head I do my best to keep the tears pricking my eyes away. I was tired of crying, tired of this circle.

“Don’t do this La,” Daryl began, his voice smooth as a hustler on the corner trying to upsell some weed, “Listen her name is Marcella, and we were hanging out a while back. That’s it, we haven’t in weeks though.”

Spinning around to face him my eyes narrowed, “Weeks? We’ve been fucking for years Daryl. We’ve been going around this for years. Years! Unbelievable. Oh La, I miss you, I love you, I’m going to change I promise, it’s just you. Bullshit!”

I felt so stupid to have believed his lies, to have expected anything to change. I felt dumb being here right now. My anger had morphed into hurt and it was becoming harder and harder to fight back the tears.  I should have known nothing had changed, that nothing would have changed. Deep down I knew it was the same bullshit. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw the truth shining back at me. I had been stupid for a long time.

I watch as Daryl slinks across the room to me with a somber look on his face that I knew was an act. For it to be real he had to feel remorse, an emotion you doubted he even fathomed. Raising my hands I try to keep him at bay because I know if he touches me even a little bit my anger will falter, and he will turn it all around. I didn’t want him to placate me with lies any longer.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Now I can’t touch you? Come on, you love when I touch you.”

He laced his fingers with mine before he pulled me closer to him. “I’m the only one that makes you feel good,” he cooed, “The only one that knows how to touch you.”

For emphasis, Daryl brought his hand around to cup my ass in a way that also brought my leg up to wrap around his waist. Groaning, I pressed my palm to his torso trying to push him off, but he wouldn’t budge. “I’m the only one that makes you drip”, he says his voice dropping to an impossibly deep baritone that instantly proved his words true. It was a voice I had always been utterly powerless against.

I hated his cockiness, hated that there was even an ounce of truth to his words, hated that he had me right where he wanted me.

“Stop it Daryl, I’m not playing.”

 “Neither am I,” he said against your ear making you shiver. “I haven’t seen her in weeks. As I said, it’s nothing.”

With that, he tipped my chin up, so I looked into his eyes and just like that, it was over. “I want you”.

I searched his eyes for lies though I knew the lies were to be found on his lips instead. I searched frantically and desperately but there were no lies in his eyes.

“You La. Just you.”

His lips crashed into mine, pulling me into a soul sucking kiss. Soul sucker. That was exactly what he is. Soul sucker. I knew he was full of shit; I knew it yet still I allowed him to kiss me, allowed him the time to worm him hands along my body until I felt his fingers creep up my skirt where I am bare and wet. Wet from wanting him, needing him. Damn it! I hated this; I hated him. A moan filled the room, and I am annoyed to realize it was mine.

Traitor. My body was a traitor, always had been. Daryl lifted me and instinctively my other leg wrapped around his waist. When his mouth moved to my neck the hard press of his girth between my thighs sends my head flying back giving him complete access to the spot he loved to exploit and that was when I knew it.

Fuck! It’s over.

Once he has my back slammed against the wall, he follows suit but grinding his hips against me so I can feel the thing I crave.  Without warning, he then slams into me with all the strength and force his powerful body holds. The action pulls a scream from your lips. It’s a scream that is raspy and high pitched all at once, a scream that never stood a chance of ending because before it could, he snapped his lips forward again reminding me that every word he spoke before was true.

“Aaah!”

The force of Daryl’s hips slams into me over and over, harder, and harder until I am seeing stars and unable to catch my breath. All I can do is hold onto him for dear life and pray to whoever was watching this show that you wouldn’t be forever scared by this man.

“You’re mine La!”

Slam.

“Mine!”

Slam.

“--Have been since you were nineteen and will always be mine,” he added, his lips brushing your ear, so you didn’t miss one word.

Slowing down, Daryl circled his hips again nudging your g-spot until you were sure you were going to pass out. In seconds you were clenching around him giving him the satisfaction of knowing you were powerless to him.

“This sweet spot is mine, Leianna, cause I do it the best. Me!”

The possessiveness in his voice could not be missed. He always did get off on claiming ownership. He loved it when I told him I belonged to him, loved when I bore his markings on my skin for others to see, and loved I went out smelling like him. This was nothing different. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as he overwhelmed me with the barrage of thrusts that served as nothing more than way to mark you, brand you as his.

Another orgasm claimed me sweeping me up into the frenzy of need that tied us together.

Bringing his hand to your throat he held you there against the wall making you moan louder and clench harder around him. “Say my name La, say it!”

He knew I liked it when he got rough. Fuck him, I thought as another moan fell from my lips. I hated him but I was loving every second of the pleasure he brought me through this show of assertion he was putting on, loved the feel of him pounding into me, trying to mark me. Fuck him and damn me, I loved it all.

“Say it,” Daryl badgered adding a slight amount of pressure. Not enough to hurt me but it was enough to make me wetter.

“Daryl,” I gasp out of breath as he keeps pounding into me against his wall.

“Whose is it? Who does it belong to?”

The air around us has become so thick that catching a breath is nearly impossible and the lack of oxygen has my head spinning.

“Whose!”

His shout brings me back to the moment. our eyes linger and I watch as his mouth falls open clearly enraptured with the pleasure he was finding in me.  

“Yours. Shit Daryl, it’s yours, always has been, yes, yes, yes!”

I feel the tint of shame wash over me. Shame for saying the words, shame for allowing him to put me in this situation, shame for never wanting him to stop fucking me, shame for wanting to stay in this bubble for as long as possible because it would mean he would stay here with me in this moment away from his lies and away from his asshole moves.

Digging my nails into his shoulder I aim to hurt him and with his shout I am pleased to know that I have. With one final thrust that sends my head banging into the wall, Daryl fills me, marking me as we both find our release. For long moments we clutch one another panting as we slowly come down from the euphoria of our bodies connecting, the euphoria I had only ever found in him.

When I am coherent enough I realize that Daryl had moved us back to the bed. I feel his lips press to my jaw, then my neck before he pulls away from my body and walks away toward the bathroom. I take another steadying breath then see him grab his phone from the nightstand before disappearing into the bathroom. Again the knot in my stomach spasms and I feel sick to my stomach as utter disgust and self-loathing washes over me. I was stupid, so stupid. I knew it, and he must have known it too because he knew he had me, he knew it.

The stinging of my tears pushed me into action. Standing on wobbly legs I took a moment to steady myself then fixed the clothes I was wearing. I approached the chair again to finish dressing then dug a note card from my purse and wrote across it with the red lipstick he liked so much. Gathering my things I walked to the bed ignoring the crumpled sheets and placed the notecard on his pillow. Looking around I took a moment to make sure I had everything then walked through the bedroom door towards the door.

I didn’t look back. What was the purpose of doing so? I walked with my head high and spine straight with a head filled with vows to never return but your heart whispered into the abyss of your pain that you’d be back.

[laz-laz-ace-pilot]

So I got a response from my MP about the genocide in Gaza yesterday.

Some context; my MP is Tobias Ellwood, who is largely known for two things; being the Parliamentary Under Secretary of State for the Middle East (this will be relevant later) and trying to save a policeman's life during an attack on Westminster. More recently though, he's been better known for trying to reintroduce conscription, describing his £90,000 salary as 'counting the pennies', running over a neighbour's cat, and trying to ban protests at his home.

Under increasing pressure, he sent out a generalised email yesterday in response to people calling for a ceasefire and well...

... Thank you for your email, I have received a large volume of correspondences on this matter and hope my response can set out my position in more detail. Firstly, you are right to highlight the appalling situation in Gaza caused by the Israeli Prime Minister’s cack-handed and ill thought out invasion. Hamas has lost its right to represent the people of Gaza – but this is not the way towards securing a two state solution. It has simply led to escalation. I warned Israel (after the barbaric attacks on the 7th October but BEFORE the IDF tanks rolled in) NOT to invade until there was a clear plan of governance and security for which any military operation can work towards that minimised the danger to innocent lives and ensured the removal of Hamas. I even wrote a plan that might be considered – published in Politico which I invite you to read: https://www.politico.eu/article/israel-gaza-hamas-uk-benjamin-netanyahu-we-need-a-plan/ The scale of collateral damage is shocking, and I’m pleased international voices (including the UK) are getting louder in criticising Israel. But the only country with the ability to alter Israel’s behaviour is the United States, and behind the scenes they are making their views heard but more needs to be done. On the question of arms sales, I’ve asked for more information on what is being sold. The call to block all arms sales is understandable – but it could have wider economic consequences. Licences are valued at £500m versus overall trade with Israel (including many businesses from Dorset) worth £9bn. Would such action in cutting arms sale alter Netanyahu’s behaviour? Or would we lose precious leverage in speaking and influencing privately? Away from Netanyahu’s appalling response - Israel is an important UK ally and rare democratic state in a troubled part of the world. It requires wise decision making to leverage our influence efficiently. I’d prefer to see consideration of halting specific military exports IF they are involved with IDF’s operations in Gaza. I am seeking clarity in what that is from my relevant ministerial colleagues.

UK funding for UNWRA has NOT been cut. I have checked with the Minister and there was a question raised about FUTURE funding – but right now there is no question of programmes stopping because UK money has been switched off. I have made my views clear. The speed in which threats to turn off future funding were made was ill-considered. Over 13,000 UNRWA staff work in Gaza. Involvement by a dozen with HAMAS (now being investigated by the UN Chief) should not jeopardise the critical work of the most senior UN agency working in such desperate conditions.

Finally, the call for an immediate and permanent ceasefire. Yes, I would like to support this. It’s where this terrible conflict must eventually go. But having been involved in a few cease fires, whilst serving in the British Army, could I spell out some issues which must be in place at the same time.

Cease fires are not something you shout from afar and they just happen.

A Cease fire is the title to a list of agreements BOTH sides have signed up to - that results in a cessation of fighting in order to give space for other activities to take place.

If BOTH warring parties do not support a cease fire (and conditions) – but are intent on continuing the fighting it will not happen. Both HAMAS and Israel are at present intent to keep fighting.

Fighting can be stopped by a third party/force which marches in the separate sides and enforce the peace. I suspect this is NOT what you are calling for.

The details of any ceasefire are almost always arbitrated by a third party / parties. And usually come after a number of rounds of discussions. Such discussions are happening in Egypt and Qatar – but to date little progress has been made.

Details of any ceasefire will include:

Time frames of commencement of ceasefire.

3rd party monitoring teams (UK might play a role here).

No fly zones, buffer zones, humanitarian corridors

Emergency procedures to quash any breaches by individuals seeking to see the ceasefire fail.

agreed incentives to help the cease fire last (outside funding/ hostage release /humanitarian support infrastructure repair) for activities to take place to build trust.

6. All the above supported by an international legal framework – usually in the form of a UN resolution. 7. Agreement on round table discussions to discuss the long term solutions. As you can see a ‘cease fire’ is simple to demand from afar – less simple to implement in practice. And easy to challenge Western governments about why one is not in place. It is worth remembering that such agreements are occasionally signed up to as opportunity for one side or both re-group and re-arm which is something we must be particularly weary of. I hope, if you have read this far – you will appreciate the context of an Opposition party – calling for a vote on a ceasefire. Perhaps it’s an important political statement. But as I highlight above there are practical implications, which, if I am honest are not discussed in detail. The discussion then boils down to an over-simplistic binary position on supporting the people of Gaza without consideration of the magnitude of obstacles to overcome if a meaningful ceasefire was to be introduced. I so dislike such binary and divisive politics, yet right now that’s how the debate on Wednesday is shaping up. We should be better than this. I will push for a cease fire in the context I’ve outlined above. I will think carefully how I will vote. If this is just about having another pop at the Government for political gain – I will probably stay away. The people of Gaza deserve better. I plan visit Rafah in the next couple of weeks. Thanks again for getting in touch. I apologise about the long response. There is nothing simple about conflict and indeed ending it.

Kind regards, Tobias

I just... I don't think I could write a more condescending, twisted or imperialist response if I tried. The bit about the not suspending arms deals, the 'explanation' of ceasefires/ cease fires, the grammatical and spelling errors. I've been trying to write a concise response for the last hour and I just can't. The only positive is that the growing pressure does seen to be getting to him.

There is another vote on a ceasefire today. Please keep pressuring your MPs. It is slow work but its getting there.

[justanotherwriter140]

Kung Fu Panda 4 - Edited

A really, really long discussion post.

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve expressed an explicit opinion on anything, hasn’t it? Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever done a hot-take post. I guess now is as good a time as any to write my first one, given our current situation...

So, the elephant (panda?) in the room: CinemaCon.

While we’ve hardly even had twenty-four hours to process this new information, I know that there are already a lot of strong opinions out there, and many of which are displeased. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone who’s necessarily happy about the news we received yesterday, and while everyone has differing reasons as to why they’re not thrilled, I think there are a lot of common factors among the skeptics. IMO, all of the concerns I’ve heard since the announcements have been understandable. Here’s a list of the most significant concerns:

Chen/Fox Warrior

A replacement for the Dragon Warrior

A villain whose “power” is (potentially) resurrecting past villains from the dead

The Furious Five and their relevancy

Director Mike Mitchell

Many fans are finding themselves confused with this alleged plot, mainly because (to put things bluntly) it doesn’t make any sense. I have a plethora of questions in regards to the second bullet alone, imagine how many I have in total!

You won’t have to imagine, actually, because I’m doing you all the favor of writing down my every thought. Strap in, folks!

First of all, who is Chen (?) and why is she relevant? While these are things that will, without question, need to be answered in the upcoming film, I’m still feeling apprehensive. Why would Po choose her as the next Dragon Warrior, a title that for three consecutive movies has been regarded as the highest possible title that any living being in this universe can achieve? What makes Chen the next Dragon Warrior, what makes her eligible? The Dragon Warrior is essentially OP at their full potential, and if we’re assuming that this title can in fact be passed on, why would Po give this power and influence to someone he meets in the same movie in which he makes the life-altering decision to seek out an heir? Why wouldn’t he at least choose someone he knows closely, rather than someone he initially doesn’t get along with (as stated in the plot description) and likely doesn’t trust? In my mind, the movie could only justify that choice with some sort of “message from the universe” making itself known to Po and telling him to choose Chen as his successor, but if that’s the road the writers end up going down, then I’d have to reiterate: why?

Backtracking for a second. We have never had any reason to believe that “another” Dragon Warrior existing is even a possibility, forget the concept of them co-existing with the current and original Dragon Warrior. Didn’t the initial significance and nuance of the title come from the fact that there is only one person who can be the Dragon Warrior, because the concept of the “Dragon Warrior” isn’t so much a title as it is Po himself? The universe (Oogway) must choose the Dragon Warrior because they are a singular being of legend. It is one person, and that person is Po. Wasn’t the point of the first film that the title ultimately doesn’t really matter because there is no “secret ingredient,” so to speak? The title doesn’t actually give Po anything. “It’s just you,” Po says, and that was the resolution.

Let’s set all of that aside for a moment, because I have a follow-up question: why in the world would Po be finding a replacement so soon? Yes, the alleged plot states that he’s been given a promotion and therefore wants someone else to fill in for him as the Dragon Warrior, but that doesn’t make sense to me. Why would Po’s new status (as something along the lines of the “Spiritual Leader/Master” of the Valley of Peace) hold him back from being the Dragon Warrior? If there’s something else behind him wanting to leave the role behind, I’m listening, but right now it feels very unbelievable. Why is he doing this so early in his life? He’s been the Dragon Warrior for four or five years at most, why is he throwing in the towel so soon? He’s young and has so much ahead of him, especially after all that he’s done. He’s built prestige and respect over the years and he’s so proud of his role as the Dragon Warrior. I’m confused!

One could make the argument that Po wants to settle down, which I’ve seen a few times on different social sites as a suggestion. However, he has shown no interest in such things in the past. He’s always excited to travel and see new things, so to see such a sudden change in attitude and priorities would likely have to be the result of a drastic occurrence. Po is not giving up his title as the Dragon Warrior, at least not with the way things are now. I’m not necessarily adverse to bold decisions being made in sequels, but this is probably too sharp of a turn for me to be okay with it. 

Is it even possible for Po to no longer hold the title? If we reference what I stated earlier, about the title being not so much a title but rather just Po himself, could we even consider that Po can just spontaneously decide to not be the Dragon Warrior anymore? He was chosen by the universe; can he UNO reverse card the universe? 

So many paragraphs, and I haven’t even gotten around to discussing the villain or the Furious Five. Let’s see how long I can write before my passion-induced rant starts to fizzle out!

In regards to the villain, I’m conflicted. 

On the bright side, I’ve been rooting for a female villain for as long as I’ve been in the fanbase. A female villain could add something really new and fresh to the series, giving fans a new perspective and experience altogether. The only canonical female villains in the KFP universe as of right now are the Wu Sisters, who are some of my personal favorite villains to ever come out of the franchise.

Additionally, rumors suggest that the chameleon can shape-shift. The idea of a shapeshifting villain (who potentially possesses dark magic, or something similar) is admittedly really cool. In an unreleased (unfinished) discussion post, I go into detail regarding the advantages of a manipulative villain. If the chameleon is as manipulative as her shape-shifting powers suggest, she could actually be pretty interesting to watch. Of course, being me, I’d prefer emotional manipulation over anything else, but that’s still a possibility!

In the plot description, it’s stated that the chameleon has the ability to “summon” villains from Po’s past. While it’s been assumed that this is in reference to full on resurrection, there’s still some wiggle room for speculative variation. There are disagreements and conflicting information on whether or not the chameleon can actually revive Po’s former adversaries, as some claim that she has the ability to resurrect the dead (perhaps via dark magic), while others state that she simply takes on their form to mess with Po.

Let’s assume that the chameleon is legitimately able to bring back villains that Po has done away with in previous movies. Isn’t that an incredibly easy way to make it seem like Po is going to experience difficulty in defeating this movie’s opposing force? While I’ll admit that coming up with someone/something that will make Po falter and struggle was never going to be an easy task, especially at this stage, I can’t help but feel as though there’s a bit lacking in the creative department. It’s also a bit insulting, to be honest, because if this new villain has to rely on the reputations and powers of previous villains to put up a fight, then is this a villain worth paying any real mind to? Does she pose any kind of true threat?

Personally, I hope that the whole resurrection theory is false. I don’t think it would be in the best interest of anyone if the past villains were to come back in any way that’s not a flashback (even then, I’m not sure I’d see the point). In all honesty, I thought that the whole point of the villains was that they died and stayed dead. They were defeated by Po once and for all as a testament to the idea of establishing Po's character growth and journey as a person through the bad things he’s able to overcome. It’d be highly contradictory to the messages of the other films if these villains were to suddenly come back.

For a while, there were theories floating around that suggested that Kung Fu Panda 4′s villain would have some significance to Tigress. The thought process behind this follows a “villain formula” of sorts; each movie villain so far has been connected to a main character through that respective character’s past. Tai Lung was Shifu’s failed prodigy; a fallen angel archetype. Shen killed Po’s mother and led a genocide on his people in a feeble and desperate attempt to save himself from his own fate. Kai was Oogway’s former fellow warlord and brother-in-arms, seeking revenge for the betrayal he felt had been enacted upon him.

I am a full-fledged supporter of the next villain having a connection to Tigress. Unfortunately, though, it doesn’t seem likely given the information we currently have. This chameleon, from what we know at this point in time, has absolutely no connection to Po or anyone in the main cast. I’d even go as far as to say that there’s more of a reason to believe the chameleon will have a connection to Chen; mainly because I think that if Chen needs to be integrated into the main cast, that’s the way the writers are going to go. The problem with this, however, is that it doesn’t make that much sense given how significant of a character Tigress has become in the franchise.

Take everything I say with a grain of salt, though, because in truth, we really don’t know that much about our new villain. This chameleon could very well have a connection to Tigress! We won’t know until the time is right, I suppose.

I’ll use Tigress as a segue to talk about the Furious Five, because unlike in the third film and god-forsaken TV shows, they’re actually relevant here! Personally, I think that the Furious Five still have a bit to offer as characters, for found family feels and to act as nostalgic plot devices if for nothing else. I love the five, and while I can understand if the upcoming film's story doesn't call for their involvement as frequently as in KFP 1 and 2, I would still very much appreciate their presence throughout the movie instead of being totally cast aside like in the third movie.

That said, though, I have a different opinion regarding Tigress. She has always stood out as the most significant member of the Furious Five (to both the audience and Po) and has been very impactful to Po and his journey; she was especially important in Kung Fu Panda 2, during which she was shown coming out of her shell and showing something akin to affection towards Po. Their interactions were later described by Guillermo del Toro (who I believe worked on the movie as a creative consultant) as possessing “the hint of a romance.” Whether or not the fourth movie will decide to capitalize on this idea is fully up in the air. It’s been stated by former directors that the theme of romance in KFP would only ever be applied in a comical fashion, but those directors may no longer be involved at all. I’m a Po and Tigress enjoyer, but I’d much rather KFP 4 be a good, solid movie than it being weak and trying to hold itself up with a shallow romantic subplot with Po and Tigress. I would also hate (with the fury of a thousand suns) to see Tigress’s character reduced to that of a love interest; she’s strong, capable, independent, and totally awesome. If she has a larger role in the fourth movie, I’d watch her being a cold-hearted badass a thousand times over before I sit through two hours of her being overtly out-of-character for the sake of a “classic romance” with Po. A relationship between them could work, and I’ll be supportive of it if it’s done well, but it doesn’t and shouldn’t have to happen for the movie to be emotional and impactful and mean something.

I have an unfortunate yet strong suspicion that the Furious Five will be tossed to the curb in this movie, and I really hope I’m wrong, because they’re fun characters that help encapsulate the original feel of the franchise. They’re a key part of what gave Po his beginnings in the world of martial arts, and they’re also the people he desperately wanted to be like throughout his childhood (and young adult years). They’re his best friends, and while I want Po to have adventures of his own, I don’t want his origins to be forgotten in favor of new characters. I want the nostalgia, alright? Is that wrong? No, and if it were, I wouldn’t want to be right. Speaking of long-time characters, what about Shifu? I can’t help but wonder what he’ll be up to during this whole debacle. Meditating, perhaps? I hope nobody in the writers’ room decides it’s Shifu’s time to go, which has been a growing concern of mine since learning of Po’s ambiguous “promotion.”

The movie’s director, Mike Mitchell, has been involved with KFP before, but not to the extent of previous directors. While I know little information about him, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and I’ll maintain that sentiment until the movie releases. A potential (confirmed?) co-director is Stephanie Stine, the director of Raya and the Last Dragon.

Final thoughts, summarized:

The plot is kinda off and contradicts both Po’s character arc and the other movies

A female chameleon is the villain, which is maybe the only aspect of the movie I can get behind

The Furious Five and Shifu may be completely ignored (again)

The whole “passing of the torch” storyline does not work given Po’s situation

Chen’s character doesn’t make sense

I’m not familiar with the director(s) 

If you took the time to read this post, kudos to you. I hope I was able to help you arrange your thoughts regarding this news, because I’m still a bit scatter-brained myself (which is a feeling that I think we can all relate to at the moment). I’ll likely add more to this post over time, whether it be via re-blogs or simple edits. I think of something new to add to this post every few minutes, which I’ve been doing for a few hours now...

Let’s end on a positive note, because I know I was a bit of a downer here:

The title looks pretty cool, I’m not gonna lie. I like the scale texture!

[c6nrad]

VIGILANTE SHIT : RAFE CAMERON

synopsis — in which rafe cameron’s girlfriend finds out what he’s done to her, and makes him regret it.

❝she needed cold hard proof, so I gave her some. She had the envelope, where you think she got it from?❞

For the past two years, Rafe Cameron has been toying around with his girlfriend. Having her wrapped around his finger, and always having pleasure right at his fingertips.

He scanned the country club for her, eyeing everyone in the crowd. When he didn’t see her, he saw this as the perfect opportunity to find another girl.

Rafe checked y/ns location before looking for another girl by the pool, and was relieved to see that she had been at home.

As he made his way to the poolside, he ran into Topper, and some of the friends he’d brought along. “What’s up, Top. Who’s this?” Rafe smiled ignoring the brunette topper was with, immediately looking at the red-haired girl with a low cut sundress on.

“That would be Anna. Anna, this is Rafe. Stay away from him.” Topper sarcastically grinned, while Anna scanned Rafe’s body.

“Hey, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here. You new?” Rafe asked her.

Anna knew his game and smiled, “No, first time actually. I just moved to Figure Eight. I’d love a tour.”

Rafe took this as his chance, “Hm, I know where everything is in the club. I can show you around, only if you want.”

The red haired girl bit her lip subtly and replied, “Yeah, I’ve got a ton of time on my hands.” Rafe then took her hand and led her inside the country club, where he walked into the upper west wing, which hasn’t been touched in almost five years. The upper west wing became known as a hookup spot after Rafe and y/n first discovered it two years earlier.

As Anna silently smirked to herself while walking up the staircase, y/n entered the country club.

y/n immediately saw Topper walk out of the bar and decided to say hello. “Hey, Top. Is Rafe here?”

“Oh hey! Nah, you just missed him. I think he said he was going on the ferry for Wards Father’s Day present. Sorry.” Topper smiled, in a terrible attempt to cover up his lie.

You knew your boyfriend was at the club, since his dirt bike and his location all pointed to here. “Hm. thank you, Topper.”

You walked away from him and sped up your pace to reach the upper west wing in the quickest amount of time possible, speeding past relatives, friends, and co-workers.

When you finally the room where you and Rafe first met, you are whiplashed by the sound of heavy breathing and quiet moans. You knew those breaths all too well, but had no idea who the girl sounded like.

“Ladies always rise above…”

Terrified, you ran down the staircase with tears welling in your eyes, being sure that your flowy hat covered your face while running to your car.

The next day, you met with Rafe at his house.

Rafe immediately invoked an aggressive kiss, “Hey, I missed you so much.”

The smell of alcohol on Rafe’s body was extremely strong, so you decided to go easy on him today. “Hey, Rafe. Where were you yesterday?”

He shut and locked his bedroom door, then looking up with a puzzled look. “What? Were you stalking me?”

“Why would—No. Where were you?”

Rafe looked away, figuring out what to say. “What the hell is your issue? I was on the mainland.”

“Alright” You grinned, indulging into another kiss with your soon to be dead boyfriend.

“Ladies know what people want…”

Rafe wanted absolutely nothing more than to control you. He never saw you as an actual person with feelings, but more so something he could half-commit to.

You looked after the both of you were done having sex, and wondered if he’s ever felt 100% yours, because you were always 100% his. At parties, you were practically on a leash. Attached to the hip, if you will. Never left his side, but somehow he would always find a way to leave yours for another girl.

Now, you’ve had enough.

Now, you’ve been planning.

Now, you’ve been scheming.

Waiting for the final moment—the final blow, that will break your heart, but also break his skull.

By the end of this, Rafe will be so mentally worn out, he may as well be dead.

“Someone sweet, and kind, and fun…”

While you were sitting on his lap, staring at the ceiling, Rafe was clearly texting another woman. The sudden grins, giggles, and lip bites all reminded you of what the two of you did when you first met.

Now, that is gone. Replaced by someone he’s never known.

No one will ever understand him—know him, quite like you.

“Fuck, y/n. Stop wearing that to club. You already embarrassed me last time wearing something that made it look like you have rolls. Go home and change, now.”

“How much weight did you gain on the trip?”

“I was the most fucked up person at that party! I thought it was you that I was making out with!”

“The lady simply had enough…”

“Well he was doing lines,”

“…And crossing all of mine.”

On top of the list of things that Rafe Cameron was clueless on, there was something that he just so happened to miss while y/n utterly destroyed his life.

John B Routledge & Sarah Cameron weren’t the only witnesses of Sheriff Peterkin’s murder.

“Someone told his white collar crimes…”

“…To the FBI.”

Y/n had one person to thank for helping her reveal who the person is behind Rafe Cameron’s mask: none other than his little sister, Sarah.

“Lately she’s been dressing for revenge.”

[immortalsarcasm]

In other news - I turned in my notice at work and next Friday is my last day there.

I’ve been at my job for almost 9 years but the lack of a fair union contract update getting done and upper management’s lack of willingness to pay staff what we’re worth while giving themselves raises (state legislature awarded enough funds to finally raise pay but management decided to pocket it, fuck that noise) and ongoing stress and increases in workload finally got to me. The union has been bargaining for almost 2 years with no finalized contract. Also, they want to gut our healthcare coverage. Fuuuuuck that.

I talked with @bitter-limelight yesterday about feel like a car running on a spare tire since the pandemic. I worked full time through all of that - still had to provide outreach and without hazard pay, had my own health issues over those two years, and it really drained me. Prior to the pandemic my job had reached a point of running like a machine; there were more resources, less systemic barriers, and I could get 8-12 people off the streets and housed per year. Now I’m lucky to be able to get 3-4 people stabilized because of fewer resources all the bureaucratic bullshit and goalpost moving. I’ve seen people I’ve known on the streets die of illness or overdose or exposure to the point I stopped counting how many of them there are.

In short, I am tired. My boss is upset I’m leaving and colleagues were hoping I’d land another position in the agency somewhere instead of leaving but I’ve hit my limit.

My goal is to find something else less draining than healthcare and social work, which I don’t think is going to be hard. I now live within 15 minutes drive time of multiple cities since I relocated last month, and I have over a decade worth of experience in customer service and experience in retail management. Even if I initially only land a seasonal position I’m going to be fine. Finding work has never really been an issue if other areas of my life are going well so I’m not worried.

[iamauthenticallyme]

Speak about the unspeakable—what's difficult for you to talk about.

Hi! Sometimes my English teacher makes me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes when I raise my hand, she'll say, in an ungentle way, to put it down, and sometimes she broadcasts what I'm doing—I need my assignments modified due to my inability to see—in front of the class instead of being more discreet, like I would prefer.

Yesterday, during third period before lunch, she said the word facetious. I've heard it before and wanted to know what it meant, so I raised my hand to ask, and she said abruptly, "Oh Cassie put your hand down." This is the second time she’s said this when I raised my hand as she was talking. Anyway, some of the kids started laughing because she had complimented me profusely many times, and some of them felt jealous about that. Although she values what I have to say, that whole situation pissed me right the fuck off (or annoyed me, whichever one you prefer)—so I responded with, "OK, I had a question!" I'm not going to lie, I felt a tiny bit embarrassed that they laughed because I hadn't done anything to deserve it. After all, I didn’t call out; I just raised my hand like any other student because I wanted to know what a word meant, and although she probably would’ve told me to Google it, I figured it was faster to ask my English teacher than to dictate it into my phone.

I stewed on it for so long as we were watching a documentary about Alexander Hamilton and tasked with creating seven questions about it that I wanted to reach over and unfortunately hurt the people next to me. These were intrusive thoughts because I would never hurt my pregnant aide—the woman tasked with helping me in school—or my good friend, whom I've known for three years. In truth, I didn’t actually want to hurt them; they are wonderful people. I just felt like I could hurt—sometimes kill—someone in the moment because I was feeling agitated and was processing my emotions. So when it came time to go to lunch, I asked my friend and my aide what they would do if a teacher made me feel uncomfortable, and they both suggested I say something, which I was planning to do anyway, so I did.

I knew this wouldn't be the first time I’d spoken to a teacher about how uncomfortable I felt about them, but I've also had traumatic experiences regarding adults. As a result, I learned from a young age that adults weren't safe just because they are adults, and some aren’t to be trusted with everything. The first memorable time I told a teacher about how uncomfortable he made me feel, I cried after, or felt like crying, and I probably felt nervous doing it. But I did, and at the time, I didn't decide to tell him until the end of the school year. This was two years ago, and my anxiety was still going strong. I've observed in myself the urge to cry, usually during, sometimes after, telling an adult about something that's bothering me, and I don't know why. I meditated on it earlier, and I figured that it was due to not feeling like what I have to say is important, and in turn, not thinking anyone would want to listen—or thinking anyone would care.

I decided I would speak up; I would not be quiet, and I would say what I've been meaning to say for a while. I handed her my flash drive with the seven questions on it. By the time the bell rang to go to fourth period, she was ready to hand it to me, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. I leaned in and told her quietly, "Miss Johnson, sometimes you make me feel uncomfortable." I felt nervous before telling her. "Do you know what I told Miss Felton?" My vision teacher. "I told her that you were excellent at critical listening. You can't see, but you are excellent at listening, retaining information, and asking questions. But sometimes you need to give time for other kids to talk because they don't listen as well as you, even though they can see. That's why I'm surprised that they don't." Pretty much hinting that I had the upper hand in that regard.

"You make me ... This is hard for me to talk about. ... I feel uncomfortable when you ... This is hard for me to talk about." By then I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Sometimes it's difficult for me to say some things, and I hadn't yet told her about feeling uncomfortable about the way she told me to put my hand down. "I feel uncomfortable when you tell me what I'm assigned or about my modifications in front of the class loudly. I'm used to teachers being more discreet."

"I don't do it in front of the class. I stand in front of your desk. Like you are beside my desk talking to me."

I wanted to tell her that there were many times she didn’t come to my desk. "This is difficult to talk about. ... This is difficult for me to talk about." By then, I could feel myself starting to cry. I said "okay" uncertainly, then turned around, preparing to leave. As I was standing, waiting for my aide to put my flash drive in my backpack, I really started crying. I felt a little self-conscious because I didn't know if people were staring or not. She asked me if I was crying, I said yes, and either Miss Johnson heard what was going on or not, but she came over and said, "I'm going to say this again, and I'm not going to change my mind." And then she repeated what she'd said when I was at her desk. I was trying to explain to my aide, Tyjae, that I'd had traumatic experiences with adults. Then I told her I needed to wipe my eyes, so we went to the bathroom, she gave me a paper towel, and then we went to my fourth period class.

I say all this to say—yeah I know, it sounds cliché—that we should always speak up, even if we're nervous, because it's important to speak up for ourselves, and if we don't, we'll receive the same treatment. What we have to say is important. WE are important. You are important. What we have to say shouldn't go unnoticed. Always remember that. I knew that she probably didn't know how I was feeling, so even if I felt nervous about it, I told her how I felt. If that person doesn't respond very kindly, then you know what kind of person they can be towards you. If you ever feel like you aren't good enough, like you aren’t worth anything or worth listening to, you can say or think the mantras, "I'm good enough. What I have to say is important." Or, "I'm worthy."

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed, and I hope at least those of you who have trouble speaking up will start doing just that. Please like and follow for more.

[cottonpuffmouse]

I did have my first cigarette yesterday by the way. I’m a creature of habit and my habit is a large dose of THC to the gut in the evening/late afternoon. But obviously there is no weed option for Disco Elysium, with perhaps the joke being that speed is its closest equivalence. But there is an option for Astra Cigarettes.

Sad and poetic journal entry below. All must know of my bleeding heart!

I bought Marlboros. That’s what my grandfather smoked/smokes. It’s the smell I like.

When at the gas station, at five-seventeen AM, I asked for a pack. The lady said talls or shorts. But I didn’t know what that meant. And it didn’t matter. I knew I was not going to like them. I told her this. She glared, likely used to angrier customers, and demanded I tell her which

Talls.

Obviously next up was finding a place to smoke them. I choose a pier in a town I’d never been too, circling the Sound in my Leaf. It’s more environmentally friendly to kill yourself. But barring that, if you must smoke, cigarettes aren’t part plastic and part electronic. So you, or I should say the madwoman first person, I bought cigarettes to smoke.

The pier was perfect. Dawn and a fleeing tide. Feels good to stand under and know something is moving, even though it’s not you. Nice to see the thrum of life rather than imagine it.

The cigarette was bad. Tasted bad and had no noticeable effects besides a headache and nausea. What else could be expected? I am not a smoker, a fact I’ve known for years, and do not believe in the practice. Why would I? As a creature of habit?

I use a cap of sea water to douse it and throw it away. My jacket smells like cigerette. My fingers smell like the cigerette. It is unpleasant.

I will probably do it again. At a different pier. On a different dawn. Such is life. There is no point to guarding my health in such a way right now.

And that is a strange feeling. I have behaved in a somewhat healthy way for years. It is a laborious thing to live repressed and yet I understood it as my duty to society, to the world, and to God, to some extent. But the truth is only two things will happen from here: It will stay the same. Or it will get worse.

Since both are miserable options and I will always be capable of making life miserable, I’ve thrown it all ti the wind. If my peers smoke and do a line of cocaine, so shall I. If my peers enjoy isolation and their social media, so shall I! Mother, in the same vein of the apple and tree, if my peer all jump off a bridge: So Shall I!

*sigh*

No. I shan’t. I shall be with the clean up crew, crying and digging corpses out from under river rocks. And I will have a cigarette on the bridge when the work is done.

[stevenbasic]

GITJ Post 299: A Monday After, p1

What the…where am I? I thought, slowly sitting up on my kitchen table and gazing up at the ceiling, And what the hell is that?

I’d fallen asleep, apparently, on the kitchen table. Well, passed out is more like it. What time was it? It was morning? I had no idea. All I knew was that I was naked underneath the thin blanket Melissa had obviously put over me, my cock hurt and the room smelled like paint. 

And now there was some of it on the ceiling.

What did she do? I marveled, lamenting at the fact that now I’d somehow have to paint my ceiling too but also, I must admit, smiling like a love-struck kid at the gesture. She’d painted a huge ‘I love you!!!’ above where I’d slept, meaning for me to see it first thing when I woke. I found myself grinning, despite myself.  No one had ever done anything nearly as romantic as this for me before and it made me a little giddy. She’s a nut. No, actually, she may be crazy. Like, really. She could have - as unconscious as I was - carried me into bed. But no she left me sleeping on my kitchen table and somehow got that painted right above me, in ‘Twilight Blush’. Plus there was the whole wanting to be bigger and able to toss me around like a rag doll thing too which should have made me nervous since the woman was apparently some sort of superwoman. But…jeez…this is too cute. 

She said she loved me. 

I mean…yesterday was pathological, I thought, We each have something wrong with us, and together it’s…yikes. That was crazy. I mean, I’ve known I’m a bit strange in my tastes, kinks, fixations. I’ve known that for decades. Plus, I was physically changing, losing weight, and wasn’t nearly as concerned as I should have been. But she, Melissa too? She had said she was in some sort of ‘growth spurt’, and I knew girls everywhere were into this ‘vulni-chic’ thing - being bigger than your partner was the trend - but I always figured it was some sort of fad. The stuff Melissa was saying yesterday, though, and the things she got me to admit? This is going to be deeper and weirder than I may be able to handle. What would it mean for us, for me, I wondered, if I let this continue?

Wow what time is it?

But she said she loved me!

Okay okay okay. Yes I had to consider the possibility that she might have been a little mentally imbalanced, or a lot. And she’d been evasive, since we met, about her past. I kinda sorta thought there was some trauma there and I was going to hope that, as we got more comfortable around one another, she’d open up and share. I knew for myself there were things about my own past, my family, my childhood that I hadn’t shared yet, either. We were maybe not at that point in our relationship, where we could be totally honest with one another, but I could see that changing, already. But - is it somewhere I feel comfortable going? I fretted, Is a deeper connection something I want to pursue with a girl like Melissa. I mean…we’re so different. She’s - I forget - ten, fifteen years my junior? Little-to-no education. Horrible speller. But, does that matter, if we’re…in love?

But - was I in love with her, the way she said she was in love with me? I, for sure, had strong feelings - but were they love? I was…obsessed, yes. Fixated, for sure. Furtively worshipful? Maybe. But she honestly made me feel…like no one else ever had before. Yes she was built like a wet dream but also she was so warm and earnest with me, accepting of (and maybe, I admit, even encouraging of) my weaknesses. Sheryl was never like that; no one’s ever been like that, and it felt, now…nice. Is this love? Maybe? I wondered, Or maybe the early beginnings of it? 

Yikes it’s a Monday. I have early patients today. I hope it’s not eight o’clock yet.

I looked at myself, now that I’d sat up on the kitchen table, feet dangling off the end, in the mirror on the back of the door. The same mirror in front of which Melissa and I had posed yesterday, comparing our insanely disparate sizes. I immediately felt a pang that I recognized…I felt the aching absence of her. But also, looking at my reflection, my sunken chest, my pipe-cleaner arms, I felt the shock of how small I appeared, I felt a rush of shame. This is what she likes? I puzzled, I’m so…puny. Puny everywhere except…

I pulled the thin blanket, which had been laying across my lap, away from myself. 

I’m not, I said to myself, as I looked at the cock hanging between my legs, shadowed aside my thigh, I’m not all little. In my own way, in fact, I’m big. I watched as if, with the sudden attention, blood had started to engorge my manhood, causing it to stir. I may be small now, a short man. I may barely stand as tall as her chest, I was telling myself as my cock began to rise off the table, but at least I have this. It’s big, and she likes it. 

I marveled at it, at myself, as the thing slowly rose up, like a schooner’s mast, past my belly. Rather than the concern or chagrin I usually felt in facing it, beefy and hearty in contrast to my skinny frame, I instead felt a surge of pride. I watched it, thickening still, realizing that blood was draining from the rest of me to feed its growth. Melissa likes it big, I reminded myself, hardness surging as I recalled the husky timbre that came to her voice when she addressed it, or the flash in her eyes when she watched it swell for her. I was, here, restoring some of my fleeting male ego, gaining pride from my cock. She likes my erection, she likes my come. She licked it off me, she slurped it from her hand, I advanced, and I can make so much for her. 

I should really check my phone, the time…

With one hand I reached for it, left for me on the table, and with the other I grabbed my shaft. 

There’s some pictures of her on here…

It was then that I saw the text from Melissa:  “Good morning hun 😊 Marisela and Randi and me won’t be in the office til later. There helping me at a photo shoot for new offises.” 

“Huh, okay,” I said, nodding to myself and acknowledging that little sense of disappointment: I was going to miss her. But if I was going to have to struggle to put her out of my mind for a few hours, looking at a few photos of her here might help….

But anyway, I should first check the time…

…ten-thirty!?! Holy crap!

===========================================

Patreon, mine.

[whoiwanttoday]

Man, this weekend sucked. It sucked enough that I can't even think of anything funny to say about it. It was just a death by one thousand cuts sort of thing, where little things just piled up and it culminated in me barely having the energy to make my soup yesterday, one that I went into some detail about yesterday. I made it and was wiped and then since it was for lunches this week was like, "I just don't have enough energy to make dinner" so I ordered dinner. Which I never got due to a series of events that all sucked and basically involve all those delivery apps sucking hardcore. I hate them for so many reasons and the fact that I waited two hours to not get food is a pretty strong part of why they suck. Anyway, I gave up and went to bed last night at 8 PM cause I couldn't really take anymore and I woke up and today is shaping up to be more of the same. It's no one's fault really (except the police. At the core it's the fault of the police and this countries slavish devotion to authority and the carte blanche that gives bullies but while this is, at it's core, all the fault of the police I won't go into more detail because I am not really the victim here, I just want to strongly come out and remind everyone fuck the police) but the combination of a lot of people, technology, covid still, the media (not in a fucking media sort of way but like actual reporters everywhere), and just it being Monday has made my day a nightmare today and this week won't be getting any better. So I am posting Alexa Bliss cause she's really hot and I think she has a nice butt on top of it. You'll have to google that second part yourself because I didn't dig up pictures to prove that, it's just a deeply held belief of mine. It all just sort of popped into my head for some reason while I was sitting around agnry. Why her? No clue. I am not a wrestling person, I have tried, it's just not for me. I like the concept, the intersection of knowing artifice and real achievement and spectacle seems like something I should look but I never quite do. It's a lot like porn in that way, it sounds good, I sit down to watch it and I am like, "No... no... I get it. I get why other people like this but they haven't done what I need them to to really enjoy it". For porn I have always said if I could control it I'd like it more. They never do what I want and on top of that I don't know why these people are fucking so why should I care? Wrestling I know why they are fighting most of the time but it still somehow leaves me empty and I think in this case it's because I know that the outcome is decided and just somehow that upsets me. Not in an "it's fake" sense but in that it's too much on rails. I guess what I really would enjoy is a wrestling business management sim that's also kayfabe so that the matches can't really be known in advance. I realize using words like kayfabe do a lot to hurt my claim that I don't care about wrestling but I won't apologize for beign staggeringly intelligent so that I absorb and retain information at a ludicrious rate. It's my curese. Anyway, I don't really watch wrestling ever but sometmies people like Alexa Bliss still cross in front of my eyes for some reason and I am always taken with how attractive she is. I don't know if wrestling fans like her or not, they are a famously persnickity bunch who hit people with folding chairs so I can't predict the inner workings of their hearts but I think she's really hot so I am posting her. Today I want to fuck Alexa Bliss.

[hjcoolartnerd]

Okay so I finally Finished my few important plots of This episodes including Eric and Daniel. Here we have more Eric and Scott interacting and Daniel finding a new ally in the heroes team.

Previous Episodes:

Saving Private Leechball

Episode 4: Food Fright

Recap:

Chris: “ last time on total drama all stars! It was all about teamwork or lack there of, harsh Courtney…. Awesome! But harsh the challenge an epic leech all battle brought out everyone’s inner psycho especially jo which is why she got flushed. Alejandro, helped Eric to take Scott towards the infermery, showing Eric that his legs aren’t as asleep as he makes it look, forming an alliance which Eric says it’s Alejandro’s one way ticket to flush city when the time was right. But it was an unexpected act of valor that inspired my brilliant switcheroo, now Duncan, and Daniel are heroes, Eric and Courtney are villains and I’m a genius. Oh it’s gonna get nasty, will the villains crush the heroes winning streak? Find out now on Total! Drama! all Stars!”

——————————————————————————————

Right after Jo elimination at the dock of shame

* Eric was sitting at the edge of the dock, he was confused. on one hand, he lost the voting advantage by being in the villains team, meaning he could be voted out if they lost the challenge, the only good thing that Eric can think about this switcheroo is that he can solidify his alliance with Alejandro and maybe get Scott to trust him more*

Scott: “ Eric * he called to Eric as he walked towards him, and sat next to him on the dock* are you OK? You seemed the little out of it what’s going on in that mind of yours”

Eric: “*sighs* well Scott, I might as well telling you my plans were ruined by Chris. I had my game planned out I had the votes advantages on my team and it was going well until Chris came up with that stupid switcheroo sending me to the villains team, don’t get me wrong Scott I’m glad you and I am on the same team because that means I could show you how to do challenge properly so you don’t throw them * Eric jokingly making Scott chuckle* but I will bean easy target, besides, you and Gwen no one else on the villains team likes me Courtney hates me as much as she hates Gwen, Heather and I had never gotten along and Alejandro he and I had been enemy since before total drama before the competition. He broke my trust. I don’t know if we lose the next challenge. The worst that can happen is a three on three votes Heather and Alejandro against me and us against, Heather or Alejandro…. “

Scott’s confessional: “ I never noticed how smart Eric was, I mean I knew he had it in him too plan strategies but I didn’t know he had the whole game figure out and you’ve got to admit he does look kind of cute there. I see him, and I just want to press my lips against his….. but I shouldn’t I need to think of strategy and kissing Eric mess. Everything up will it? “

Eric: “… I should’ve known Chris would have done something like this to ruin everyone’s plans, was so sure that maybe I could’ve taken the heroes Gwen, and you to the merge”

Scott: “ Or you could try making a new plan now you could try to manipulate either Heather and Alejandro into voting with you that way when you help them with goal and they help you with yours. You can just discard them as yesterday’s trash. What do you think Eric?”

Eric: “ that’s actually good idea Scott if I could somehow manipulate one of those two, I could gain one more vote and either Courtney or one of them will be going home and I’d be safe and obviously you”

Scott: “*both get up Eric being more happy* now you’re cooking Eric now how about we go back to the cabin before the others suspect that we’re planning something against them”

Eric: “ yeah, let’s go “

* then it start to drizzle and they were starting to get wet stop for a moment, staring at their eyes, same past trying to play the game tension between them has always been high ever since Eric was the mentor of the toxic rats last season they had an underlying romantic tension just like Alejandro and Heather in world tour*

Scott: “ I like your eyes both of them they are like two chocolate scene on your face”

Eric: “*he chuckles softly * I also like your eyes Scott, they remind me of the ocean”

*two stared for a while, forgetting they were in a competition as they close the gap between each other and both sharing a heartwarming kiss under the rain (like here)*

Eric’s confessional: “ I just want you to know that the kiss was purely strategy. It had nothing to do with the underlying tension between me and Scott. *he was blushing and stuttering as he said that* I can’t believe I just kissed Scott! * start giggling like an excited girl who finally kissed their crush*

Scott’s confessional: “ I kissed Eric, I kissed Eric! I can’t believe it. I wanted to do that since we returned I want to keep things strategical and not let my feelings get in the way of my game, but can you blame me for kissing him he is handsome for a guy *he looks excited like a puppy who just got their treat*”

Eric: “*break the kiss* yeah we should Return And The Like Nothing Happen *blushing*”

Scott: “agreed *also blushing as they walked back to the looser cabin, Scott first and Eric 50 feet’s behind to not make things suspicious.*

——————————————————————————————

With the Villains at the looser cabin (the next day)

*grumbling sounds at the front door of the guys cabin. Eric, Scott and Alejandro wake up as they notice the door open a dark silhouette visible, the three scream as chef is now visible throw a bag at the cabin which was powder gruel*

Scott’s confessional: “ I grew up on powdered gruel! Rich people food has nothing on this stuff. It’s the sawdust that makes it so tasty”

Alejandro: “Disgusting! I bet the girls are not treated this cruelly *courtney screams* I stand corrected”

Eric: “I have eaten gruel in the past maybe it taste good *tries to eat it but runs out and pukes* no… totally not good!”

Eric’s confessional: “this is worst than the time I went camping with my uncle and aunt, they live in Alberta, and they took me camping in the cold! And they made gruel! But at least my uncle made it eatable, this one is gross!”

Scott: “*holding a bucket* you are going to finish your gruel Eric?”

Eric: “nope I just lost my appetite… this taste nothing like the gruel my uncle made. *scott takes a few of the gruel off Kyle and placed it on the bucket, they made quick eye contact and before Scott walked toward the girls side of the cabin*”

Eric’s confessional: “okay don’t judge me! I guess Scott is pretty nice… and handsome… and well he might not smell the best but it adds to his charm *sighs happily before shaking his head* but the kiss last night stays last night. i need to focus on the game!”

Scott’s confessional: “Eric is adorable, and I like the fact he doesn’t shy away from trying non rich people food. He could be a nice partner to bring back home. But right now I need to focus on the game! Game first Eric second!”

*eric sees Courtney and Scott interact and even heard Scott telling that Courtney cleaned up real nice, Eric knew it was about the gruel but still he got a bit jealous*

Eric’s confessional: “Courtney better not pull a Gwen With Scott…. Wait… *ponders for a moment* I want Courtney out… Scott is kind of an ally …. Why don’t I get Scott to try and charm her and then when she is too distracted we vote her off”

——————————————————————————————

At the spa hotel with the heroes

*Duncan and Daniel were walking to the dinning areas it was dark, as they walked there then suddenly the lights turn on*

Heroes: “Surprise! Welcome to the heroes team Duncan and Daniel! *both Duncan and Daniel give each other odd glances as Zoe gives them both party hats*

Duncan’s confessional: “to all my peeps back home and in Juvie, I am not hero. It must be a trap to gain my trust and then bam! They vote me off. Fat chance of that but I can’t let them know that I know so yeah I ate the cake, it was like eating the happiest day of my life”

Daniel’s confessional: “this is rather… interesting, those lamo heroes welcomed me and Duncan to the team , despite Mike, Zoey and Cameron knowing how evil I was last season! And Sierra probably who has seen every confessional I made last season…. Maybe I could use this…”

Sierra: “Duncan on team hero! The fans will lose it I have to get a photo for my blog *sierra left*”

Daniel: “*walks to Zoey and Mikey* hey guys? Sorry about how I acted last season! I just get a bit, competitive that’s all! I didn’t meant anything I did or said”

Mike: “really? Because you were a bit harsh last time?”

Zoey: “yeah even Jo wasn’t liking your attitude!”

Daniel: “yeah, this year off the competition helped me open my eyes and see that I’m not an entire monster! Maybe we could start fresh! You two, Cameron and me?”

Daniel’s confessional: “time to try to employ my sheep behavior yet again! I was working progress with Gwen! But now I have to start over with a new team… I hate Chris and the switch he made! Also! I can’t actively hurt Scott now!”

Zoey’s confessional: “I don’t really believe Daniel, he is trying to use his good side to try and make Mike, Cameron and me fall for his manipulation! I’m not dumb… but I can play dumb for him. Hey we got to be strategic, it’s not evil if you are not actively trying to hurt them”

Zoey: “sure Daniel we will think about it”

Sam: “let’s sing the welcome song!”

Duncan: “how about let’s not do that?”

Daniel: “I agree with Dun- *sierra screams*

Sierra: “my social media machine! It’s in pieces! Oh hello! Hello! Hello!”

Mike’s confessional: “did I Break her phone? *Mal’s come out to laugh*”

Daniel’s confessional: “should I also work on Sierra? I have my extra phone with me… maybe I should give it to her as a gift and possibly use that as an advantage?”

Mike: “it’s okay Sierra”

Sierra: “it’s not okay! It’s no K. This is how i communicate with my blog readers and where I had my plans and strategies!”

Daniel: “here Sierra you could have my extra phone! *pulls a red phone* I always have this to have my to do list out side the game! But you probably need it *walks to her handing it*”

Sierra: “OMG Daniel! Thank you Thank you! How can I ever repay you?”

Daniel: “no worries Sierra no need to repay!”

Sierra’s confessional: “I don’t know if Daniel is manipulating me or genuinely being nice! But if Eric can do a devil deal with Alejanliar then I’m sure Daniel is capable of doing good.”

——————————————————————————————

Gwen’s confessional: “this is the worst! I just came back to try and make amends with Courtney! Apologizing for stealing Duncan from her! I know I did wrong by doing it and I won’t say anything to defend my horrible deed…. But now she despises me! More than before!”

Courtney’s confessional: “she came back to apologize to me?yeah right! She probably knew I’d overhear but… but how?”

——————————————————————————————

Chris: “disgusting revelations aside, it’s challenge time. Chef didn’t have time to cook team losers breakfast this morning, because he was busy making these. Pancakes! That’s right it’s eating contest time! Each team member gets one minute to scarf up as much pancakey goodness as they can when a hero’s eating time is up they hear this *angelic sounds* and the villains get this *evil sounds* then you just have to race through a nausea-inducing obstacle course.”

Sam: “obstacle course?”

Chris: “it’s a nod to the mad skills course from last season the toughest parts anyway”

Eric’s confessional: “oh yeah this is a huge advantage for me, Mike, Zoey, cam, Sam and Daniel, may have participated in the challenge but they had grandpa glasses and couldn’t see it. I had to actually test run the challenge without them to ensure the safety and let’s say! I actually did it well, Bryan was unfortunate to have to use the glasses, he was hurt that day…”

Chris: “first you’ve got to get past the bouncy butts, they’re a real pain, then it’s on to the wretched rolling pin and a swift kick fork the grape crusher gets you back in line.”

Scott: “that won’t be so hard *Eric covers his mouth to little too late*”

Chris: “really? Huh? I wasn’t gonna add this but since Scott’s not impressed *he presses a button* bring it in! Say hello to my mega, friend. I call it the salad spinner! The perfect end to a barftastic course.”

Mike: “uh… how does it work?”

Chris: “probably painfully… I don’t know we didn’t have time to test it”

Courtney: “nice one Scott, and yes I was being sarcastic ! What? What!?”

Scott: “you are pretty when you mad”

Heather: “Barf! *walks away*”

Eric: “mhm *crosses his arms glaring at courtney*”

Chris: “speaking of which, players have to make it thru the course without hem um, regurgitating, to get back in line and stay in the game but if you puke you’re benched leaving the other players on your team to eat up without your help. Once your pancakes toast just complete the obstacle course one last time to win. Ready! Set! Scarf!” *sierra eats for the heroes*”

Alejandro: “we need a team leader, and I think it should be you”

Eric: “seriously?” Courtney: “what?!” Scott: “what ever”

Heather: “Fine! You go first but you’d better have a big appetite.”

Alejandro: “as you wish *goes to eat*”

Eric: “*pulls Scott to a side away from Courtney* Scott, do we have a game plane if we lose? I mean we are in an alliance after the kiss right?” *his cheeks are read*

Scott: “totally! But you need to either get Alejandro or Heather on your side with that you can vote the other one who isn’t in the alliance,”

Eric: “l yeah…. Scott, you better not betray me! Because I want to vote off Courtney eventually and… I saw how you..*Scott gives Eric a kiss when he thinks no one was looking*”

Scott: “look Eric I know how much you dislike Courtney and I’ll help you get her out. But we need to distract her.”

Eric: “ yeah and you flirting with her might be a way to do that..”

Scott: “then should I keep playin the act without you getting jealous? *eric nods as Scott smiles and returns to Courtney’s side and Eric to heathers side*

Scott’s confessional: “yeah I kissed him because I liked the kiss yesterday. Courtney is pretty don’t get me wrong and I love me a tough girl but… with Eric… it’s different, he is the first guy I’ve ever been attracted too so, right now I want Eric, and I don’t mind acting to be cozying up to Courtney.”

Eric’s confessional: “okay I have Scott on board with my plan… and I’m glad he shut me up with the kiss. I would have gotten jealous if we didn’t talk about it I just hope no one else saw.”

Daniel’s confessional: “this has got to be a night mare, tell me I didn’t see Eric and Scott kissing! This is horrible news! I need to make sure they aren’t getting together!”

——————————————————————————————

Eric: “I could go right after Scott!” *Eric smiled as he crossed his arms*

——————————————————————————————

Daniel: “okay I’m ready for my turn right after Cameron”

——————————————————————————————

Chris: “*laugsh* next!”

Heather: “No fair! He didn’t do the spinner “

Chris: “I’ll allow it his pain was our gain! Which team will finish their barftastic breakfast first find out after the break.”

——————————————————————————————

Chris: “we are back and the vultures are in the lead but for how long!”

Daniel: “okay here I go!*starts eating his pancakes trying to get as much as he could, he tried to give the lead to the heroes*

——————————————————————————————

*eric runs to his pancake as Daniel had to run as his angelic sound played and he ran*

Eric: “okay just gotta eat as much as I can! Lucky I skipped breakfast! *eats from the pancake*

——————————————————————————————

* Daniel was running the obstacle course fealing like he wanted to puke He went through the bouncy butts with no problems and went to the Richard rolling pin as he felt the barf going up his throat. He was trying to hold his vomit as much as he could just as he finished the rolling pins villains sound played meaning that Eric was now trying the obstacle course. Eric went through the bouncy pots in no times flat. It was fast and with the same speed, he managed to reach his younger brother at the end of the ratchet, rolling pins they were now boot, but just as the boot was gonna kick both of them to the side, spinner Daniel barfed on Eric, just when the boot kicked him towards the salad spinner*

Chris: “ like that the villains retake the lead and Daniel is benched so nasty the way he barfed on his brother! Awesome *laughs*”

Eric’s confessional: “ I’m gonna get Daniel back for this”

*eric screams as he takes his turn in the salad spinner until he is out of it without barfing.*

——————————————————————————————

Eric: *walking towards Alejandro “ so, what we talked about yesterday are we an alliance?”

Alejandro: “ I suppose you may not be with the hero but your but could help me take out Heather and you practically have both Gwen and Scott on your side with your boat and their votes. We can vote out.”

Eric: “ yeah and then you can help me vote out, Courtney”

Alejandro: “ that’s right amigo”

——————————————————————————————

*Heather was eating but then Sam tapped Zoey out to try and win for the Heroes so Alejandro tapped Heather out to win, Heather stood next to Eric and turned to him*

Heather: “eric! I know you and I have never been friends but I have a preposition for you”

Eric: “go on Heather”

Heather: “what if you and I make an alliance! I can take you last the final 5 into the final 2”

Eric: “oh? And what do I have to do?”

Heather: “be my sla- my ally and help me vote off Alejerkward”

Eric: “ill think about it Heather”

Eric’s confessional: “I’m not voting for al. He is a better ally than Heather. Even if I despise Al, I’m still Betraying him when the time is right so I don’t worry much about it. He thinks he is using me but he doesn’t know that I know”

——————————————————————————————

*after Eric And Heathers Talk Daisy Alejandro pases Sam In the obstacle course En Something That Alejandro Said Made Sam unleash Jump On Alejandros legs just as the boot kicked them both towards the salad, spinner the final obstacle the one that would decide the winner of the challenge. Everyone cross their fingers, hoping that their team won, just as the sell spinner stop spinning the doors open, and Sam cross towards the exit, and just as he was about to touch the floor, Alejandro grabbed Sam from his underwear giving him a wedgie, insane about losing stinging when he is stung by a bee, making him drop Sam and give the win to the heroes. Sam did a puking expression, but what he did was burp as loud as he could still earning the win for the heroes.*

Eric‘s confessional: “ so now I have to think of who to vote for because yes, I might be in an alliance with Alejandro but right now I don’t have enough votes to send Courtney packing. Yes I can have Scott’s vote and Alejandro or Heather’s but that will just leave three versus three. As much as I hate this, we got to think of someone else to vote off and hopefully it’s not me”

——————————————————————————————

*moments before the elimination ceremony*

Courtney: “ Heather I know I said we would vote off Gwen if we lost but right now my one and only target is Eric. Yes, Gwen did steal my boyfriend, but out of every on our team, Dylan has the social ground. He has more allies in the heroes, and he probably has Gwen in his corner as well meaning his possible merge threat. we get him out now. Gwen can’t herself with him meaning that she has no allies and she can be easily kicked off.”

Heather: “ I agree with you Courtney Eric is a threat but he and I talked and he is willing to join me in an alliance to eliminate Alejandro who is the biggest threat in this island right now so if we get rid of Alejandro then we can get rid of Eric and lastly Gwen. But Eric is gullible, and he is easily tricked us I easily tricked him in total drama action Sierra was also able to trick him and push him off the plane back in Sweden in world tour so let’s just pretend he is my ally and then we crush him”

Courtney: “ fine Heather but he can’t make it past our third elimination ceremony got it”

Heather: ” deal “ * the girls shook hands again and Heather yet again had her fingers crossed*

Heather’s confessional: “ oh please, how gullible Courtney thinks I am. I’ve seen Eric’s interactions since he joined the villains team and obviously he is friends with Gwen since the world tour and Eric has been budding up with Scott. They don’t know this, but I actually saw them walking together last night after Jo’s elimination. So right now Eric has both Gwen and Scott on his side. If I can get Eric to become my ally then I will have the advantage and I can vote off Alejandro I can vote off Courtney and then I do something to Eric Gwen, and then Gwen will be the one going down to flush town.”

——————————————————————————————

Chris: “ listen up campers I have a shocking announcement. Gwen didn’t accidentally on purpose serve an ouchie”

Courtney: “the day is not over yet.”

Chris: “ oh and after reviewing the footage of today’s challenge, and laughing a lot. Turns out didn’t in fact complete the challenge. *everyone gasps*“

Mike: “ but Sam finished the pancake and the obstacle course first”

Chris: “Sam! Would you stand up and turn out your pockets please? * Sam stands up and turns out his pocket, revealing that he had chunks of pancakes in them everyone gasps again*

Sam “I just saves a tiny bit in case I had to go to boney island again. It’s a terrible place! I’m sorry “

Eric: “wait so a hero cheated?! Then he should be in the villains team not me!”

Chris: “The Heroes forfeit Villains Win it!”

Eric: “okay never mind! *cheers along with his team*

Chris: “time to vote someone out heroes!”

——————————————————————————————

Heroes votes:

Cameron: Sam

Daniel: Sam

Duncan: Sam

Mike: Sam

Sam: Sierra

Sierra: Sam

Zoey: Sam

Daniel’s confessional: “ this elimination is so obvious right? Sam was the one who made us forfeit the challenge, so I guess it’s almost unanimous”

——————————————————————————————

Order in which they receive the marshmellows

Mike

Zoey

Daniel

Cameron

Duncan

Sierra (bottom 2)

Sam (Eliminated)

——————————————————————————————

Next Episode

Moon Madness

[writhe]

i have had such a good day: 

relatively lowkey morning and made some ice cream for friends - green tea flavored, i owed them one for watching halliwell when i took a day trip to visit family for xmas, but i think it was the best i’ve done / most confident i’ve been making the custard base and it came out really yummy

some frustrations refilling my meds. i will probably be unmedicated for a few days if not a week or so. i don’t like that i and so many people i know are consistently unable to get their medication regardless of what it is 

went to the grocery store to get ingredients for soup 

on the way home decided it was too nice of a day to do any work (even if it was stuff i’m excited to do) so parked at a familiar haunt, derailed this derailment even further by deciding to fuck around at the castle instead of doing a proper walk around the lake. only meant do do this for about 30 minutes but i think i was out for almost a couple hours. had a lot of big feelings and chased a train

stopped at a 2nd store to pick up the ingredients the first store didn’t have 

got home and immediately got a text confirming the plans i’d made with a friend so headed right back out. another walk in the woods. it was such a nice time, it’s someone i’ve known for years and i feel like because of covid and the context we know each other in (punk shit) we haven’t actually had a lot of one-on-one time and i feel like we’ve been teetering on that “i know you and have for a long time but not that well and conversations tend to be stilted a little” edge but it felt like that barrier finally broke and it was really nice and felt more familiar and exciting and we walked for a long time and, idk, i felt like we got to connect a lot more? also i gave them some of the ice cream to try (jury is still out)

took on a commission i’m really excited about (tour poster!)

got home and was finally going to get into cooking but a friend texted yesterday about a ride and i forgot i gave them a ‘maybe’ on but i could do it so i picked them up and by then it was dark and, idk, something pleasant in the mistly and weirdly warm air and they gave me free chicken wire and it seems like we might both be doing something together (using some shop tools at a makerspace) kind of by happenstance 

got home and COOKED! also decided to make a surprise treat for a friend that i’m excited about. made this soup, which is like...i’ve wanted to try it for years and never have because i didn’t feel like i could justify buying all the ingredients but i made it and it’s so fucking good (here’s the recipe - i added smoked salt and a lot more miso paste. i was also pretty generous with the spinach and probably used extra) eating it with this really good crusty sourdough after i finish writing this 

i’m going back to the boxing gym i used to go to before covid hit and i’m pretty out of practice with HIIT-type routines. i have a weight routine i sometimes do and in the summer i run and i hike all throughout the year but regardless i think i’ve lost some strength/muscle and i’m excited to regain that. also a good channel for stress. i’m REALLY sore but in an exciting way, excited to progress and feel a little more grounded in my body through exertion and it’s exciting when things stop hurting and the strength begins to feel functional. pushed myself yesterday to be chatty with people because i’m not the gym rat type and honestly had a really good experience

had a very productive day yesterday and a real big conversation last night and i feel the afterglow from olive having visited and i feel hopeful that some stagnation has cleared in a lot of different channels. it’s like, i maybe feel a little less futile? a little less desperate? 

halliwell is bone tired