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corn-fanfiction · 1 year ago

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SAVIOUR COMPLEX (Mark Hoffman x F!Reader Pt. 10)

(Pt. 9) (Pt. 11)

Rating: E

Tags: sm*t (oral f+m receiving) (p+v penetration) (light bondage), established consent, aftercare, language, past abuse, Mark Hoffman being a c*p/reader's life is maybe becoming normal again/Mark is protective bc it's his job but he's also problematic/because he's a c*p/Detective Gibson is maybe less of a trigger warning!

The hardest part of this will be swallowing his pride. Because, stripped down to nothing else, Mark Hoffman is far too prideful.

But he walks into the precinct like it’s a normal day, despite the wary looks from coworkers. Betty even tries to stop him, but he waltzes right up to the Chief’s office door and gives it a firm knock.

“Come on in,” he hears from inside. So he does.

When Hoffman doesn’t immediately say anything, Chief looks up from his desk and raises his eyebrows.

“Hoffman, I'm fairly certain your suspension hasn't been lifted.”

Mark chuckles bashfully, playing it up.

“Um, no it hasn't. May I?” he gestures to a chair. Chief nods but watches him with distinct interest.

“Alright. I've had time to cool off. I understand taking me off the Jugsaw case and I'm not here to ask you to change your mind. But…please, let me come back to work. I'm good at my job.” The please is bitter and rolls off his tongue like a block of lead. The chief notices this and smiles slowly.

“Please? Didn't think that word was in your vocabulary.”

“It usually isn't.”

“It should be.” He considers Hoffman. Works his jaw, taps his pen. Mark knows, in this moment, the chief has all the power and he is milking it. He can make him wait as long as he wants. And Mark will wait. So long as he walks out of here with his job intact.

“Alright, Hoffman. One more chance. But if you fuck up again I'm not going to save your ass.”

Mark stands immediately as the chief retrieves his badge and gun from his desk. Mark even extends a hand for a shake.

“Thank you.”

Chief accepts the gesture and watches Mark still as he departs from the office. It doesn’t matter what they think. He really is untouchable. And he wants everyone to know.

Gibson gets a phone call on the way home from your shift.

“Gibson.”

You watch him intently. Something in you is desperate to know if it’s about Mark, or Jigsaw. You strain your ears to listen.

“Yeah. Oh. Chief, with all due respect- uh huh. Right. Yeah. Okay, understood.”

He closes his phone and pockets it, and there is a split second of calm before you slams a palm against the steering wheel. You shrink into your seat, black spots poking from the back of your eyes. You shut down, can’t help it. Your body braces for the next hit.

“Sorry,” Gibson breathes, shaking out his hand and smoothing his hair back. He looks over and sees that you haven’t moved. “Hey, I’m sorry. That was inappropriate. You okay?”

He doesn’t try to touch you, which helps. Slowly, the cemente leaves your limps and you’re able to come back to life, like a spider unfolding after being smashed with a shoe.

“Yeah,” you whisper. “Yeah, just, uh.”

“Yeah, Ted. Jesus, I’m sorry.”

You’re a little surprised that he seems to mean it. Gibson is an asshole and he pushes your buttons on purpose, and seems to genuinely have a problem with Mark, but none of it seems to be with you.

“Everything okay?” you dare. Gibson looks over at you, thinks about something, almost says it, then bites his tongue.

“Fine. Just work stuff.”

He doens’t say anything else after that. When he drops you off, he apologizes again, and again you tell him it’s no big deal. And really, it isn’t. You do the same thing at work if someone drops a stack of plates or if there’s a drunk patron. It was thoughtless, but not malicious.

This seems to help you calm down and you step into the shower to unwind. Showers, for you, are pockets of peace. The place with the most control and intention. Your shampoo and conditioner, your body wash, the temperature of the water perfect for what you want. Even the rest of the apartment is limited to availability, but a shower is simple.

When you’re done you exit and wipe a hand across the fogged up mirror. You grab a satin robe and wrap yourself in it and start scrunching your hair with a towel.

There's a knock at your door. You stiffen, wrapping your robe tighter around yourself and dropping the towerl. Maybe Gibson game back for some reason? It's late in the evening, around sunset. You still haven't heard from Mark.

A drip of dread snakes down your back. He never did give you the name of the doctor he clearly suspects.

You creep to the kitchen and grab a knife- at this point, it's ritualistic. You hate that no one can knock on your door without you arming yourself, but for obvious reasons, it's a wise choice.

You look out the side window and your chest relaxes. It's Mark. He's tapping his foot like he's impatient. You replace the knife though and open the door. You barely get a word out before Mark's hands find your jaw and he takes you into a deep kiss. Your hand fumbles on the door and you slam it shut. Mark's knee between your legs backs you up to the counter and he places a bruising grip on your hips to hoist you to a sitting position.

His kiss is hot and he breaks to place searing kisses along your jaw and neck. You move your head for easier access and grip his shoulders.

“Good news?” You moan. He hums against your throat. When he moves to face you, his pupils are blown wide, his already full lips swollen.

You've never seen him this hungry.

“Got my job back. Figured we'd celebrate.”

You break out into a smile and Mark places warm hands on your shoulders and pushes your robe down to your arms. You shiver under the sudden cold but then sigh when Mark's large hands slide from your arms to your breasts to palm them, watching them with a reverence.

“God, can't believe we've waited this long,” he whispers, then comes down to bite lightly on one of your breasts.

“Some would say…we waited…a normal amount of time…”

His hands move to your waist and he picks you up again; your legs instinctually wrap around him.

“Not this. My self restrait-” he kisses you. “Has been extraordinary.”

Oh, that does a lot to you. He carries you to your bedroom and lays you gently on your bed; you prop yourself up on your elbows and watch as he takes off his jacket, his shoes, and he goes for his tie, but you get to your knees and stop him.

“Allow me,” you grab the silk and use it to pull him to you in another searing kiss. Nimble fingers undo the knot and you set the tie aside, determined to find use for it later. Mark works on the buttons of his shirt and you work on his belt.

You're almost too quick the way you slide a hand down the front of his boxers and he gasps against your lips as you wrap around his length. You smirk, and your pussy clenches at the feel of it. He's a big man. He's endowed to match.

“Be careful with that,” he says, his voice thick with want.

“Oh, I will.”

You guide him to sit, then to lay down on your bed.

“We don't have to worry about my knees now,” you smile and remove his pants the rest of the way. You have half a mind to hang on to the belt, too. But you see his hardening dick and can't help yourself. You hold it again.

“Congrats on the job, Detective,” you say, before offering him a long, wet, hot stroke of your tongue. He throws his head back onto a pillow and groans unabashedly. You can’t lie- it’s not the easiest thing to get all of him in your mouth, so you settle for what you can manage. You’re spurred on further by the sounds he makes, by the fingers that tangle themselves in your hair and pull lightly on your scalp. You put one hand to work stroking him and you begin to focus your attention on getting him as far back into your throat as possible. It doesn’t take long for him to cum, and when he does, you swallow.

He takes no time to sit up. He grabs your chin between his thumb and forefinger, stroking the spit from your bottom lip.

“God, I have wanted to have you since the firs time I saw you,” he growls, removing his undershirt- the final layer of clothing, and kisses you again. You press your palms to his wide chest and squeal when he effortlessly flips you onto your back, tracing his hands up and down your sides.

“You’re exaggerating,” you say breathlessly. He gives you a smirk before trailing kisses down your chest, to your stomach, to your pelvis, and all the way down to-

You grip onto the sheets when he sinks a finger into you, then two, curling up and stretching you. Beyond the haze, you’re thankful. You know you’ll need it.

A groan escapes you when you feel him latch onto your clit, and suddenly you know what those lips were made for. He works you with his tongue, with his fingers, moving in and against you until you clench around his fingers and buck helplessly again his mouth. Your body lights up and you cum with a series of whimpers and whines as he works you still. Just when you think you can’t take it he pulls away. He sits up on his knees and he looks so good with your want glistening the lower half of his face.

He wipes his mouth with his forearm and returns to your mouth for a kiss. Your hands roam across his back then find his ass to give it a squeeze. He groans into your mouth. You feel one of his hands leave you and then return, dragging the tie across your stomach.

“Do you trust me?” he asks. You nod.

“Yes.”

“Good.”

He pulls away, takes your wrists in his hands.

“If you want to stop, at any point, you tell me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“If you want to stop, you say ‘stop’.”

“Okay.”

He starts to bind your wrists with the tie.

“I want to hear you say it.”

“Mark, if I want to stop, I’ll say ‘stop’.”

Pleased with his work, Mark guides your hands to rest above your head. Goosebumps form on your skin when he caresses your arms, your sides with light fingers.

“Mark…”

“What is it, baby?” he asks as he begins to line himself up.

“I wanted you too. From the start. I saw you and I just knew. Even if I was pissed, I knew.”

He smirks, leans down and kisses you, slipping in his tongue right as he enters you. You groan at the sensation of being so filled, and he groans at the filling, resting his forehead against your shoulder.

“Fuck…”

For a moment, neither of you moves, just getting used to the feeling. You bring your knees up to rest by his hips. One of his hands moves to your hip and the other grabs your hands, and he rocks against you. You move with him, rising when he does and allowing him as much access as possible. You don’t miss how he’s taking it slow.

“Mark- faster.”

“You don't know,” a grunt. “What you're asking for.”

“I'm asking.”

That's all the confirmation he needs. He uses both hands to grab your hips and lifts your bottom half up, absolutely hammering into you. Your eyes go into the back of your head as he hits your g-spot over and over and over and over-

Your whole body spasms when you cum again, and he doesn't slow or stop. He keeps going until suddenly he pulls out, stroking himself roughly until he cums on you, painting your stomach and chest. You don't mind. You don't care about anything. All you can think about is how floaty you feel. Mark leaves the bed. You hear the faucet running, then feel the bed dip when he returns.

“Oh shit, sorry.”

He's still out of breath when he undoes the tie and kisses you gently as an apology. You shiver when he uses a warm wet rag to clean up your abdomen. You're still staring at the ceiling, taking slow deep breaths. All you can think is how you feel.

“I'm sorry about- I realized I wasn't wearing a condom-” he stops when he realizes you aren't responding. He hovers over you, caresses your face.

“Hey, hey baby. You okay?”

Finally, your eyes find his and you smile slightly.

“Hey. Yeah. I just… It's never been like that. I've never felt…that safe. You make me feel safe.”

He smiles at that but doesn't say another word, just throws the covers onto you both and pulls you against his chest. You still do everything you can to touch him. He strokes your hair softly and watches the window behind you. All you want is him.

#mark hoffman #saw fanfic #fanfiction #mark hoffman x reader #saw franchise

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edith-is-a-cat · 6 months ago

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who is/are your comfort character(s)? lighter or matches? do you leave the window open at night? which cryptyd being do you believe in? what color are your eyes? why did you do that? hair-ties or scrunchies? how many water bottles are in your room right now? which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? would you slaughter the rich? favorite extracurricular activity? what kind of day is it? when was the last time you ate? do you love the smell of earth after it rains? are you a parent? (all answers qualify) can you drive? are you farsighted or nearsighted? what hair products do you use? imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? do you say soda or pop? something you’ve kept since childhood? what type of person are you? how do you feel about chilly weather? if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? perfume/body spray or lotion? a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? about how many hours of sleep did you get? do you wear a mask? how do you like your shower water? is there dishes in your room? what type of music keeps you grounded? do you have a favorite towel? the last adventure you’ve been on? is there a song you know every word to by heart? what’s your timezone? how many times have you changed your url? someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? a soap bar that smells good? do you use lip balm? did you have any snacks today? how do you take your coffee? an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? what’s your take on spicy foods? you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? can you remember what happened yesterday? favorite holiday film? what was the last message you sent? when did you first try an alcohol beverage? can you skip rocks? can i tag you in random stuff?

laughs evilly

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

Ive never really pinned down a meaning to comfort character for me i think the closest to the textbook definition would be idia and ortho?

lighter or matches?

Lighter.

ahem

Vivienne Westwood Orb Lighter Necklace.

i need it.

do you leave the window open at night?

Nope. in fact its very covered bc the light from it makes my room creepy

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

i believe all could exist nessy is mu favorite tho

what color are your eyes?

Gray/Green

why did you do that?

Do what?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

Srunchies, my hair does not want to free hair ties.

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

zero i do not take bottles to my room i only have my cup up here (which i never remember to fill)

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

Depends greatly on the flavor but i like iced due to the fact i can drink it immediately

would you slaughter the rich?

this is a very nuanced question due to to wills and stuff perhaps if i did have the immediate benefits of 1) another takes their place 2) their wealth is immediately pumped through the economy to benefit everyone slaughtering them probably wouldn't do much good when you think about the fine details… so it's kind of a shrug of the shoulders question at the moment

favorite extracurricular activity?

Art? uhm idrk/do any extracurriculars

what kind of day is it?

low-high had a drop in the morning and feel really good now

when was the last time you ate?

Just a bit ago i had fries i dipped and ceaser dressing and taco bell sauce mixed with ketchup

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

HER NAME IS PETRICHOR I LIVE HER

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

Yes i am the Guardian of three strayish cats

can you drive?

if i could i would be in Louisiana rn

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

i believe i will be nearsighted

what hair products do you use?

shampoo, conditioner, and hopes and dreams

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

good question how many colors do i have bc i have done some cool things

BTW THIS IS SO GENUINELY COOL BC I WAS 11-12 WHEN I DID THIS AND I WAS USING JUST THE NORMAL BRUSHES ON THE NAIL POLISH still proud

do you say soda or pop?

soda

something you’ve kept since childhood?

MY TEDDY BEAR I GOT AT BIRTH‼️‼️ TEDDY MY BABY ILY

what type of person are you?

Uh?? a persony person???

how do you feel about chilly weather?

love it im not being blasted by ac indoors

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

having a roof top picnic

perfume/body spray or lotion?

YES.

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

i think my birthday plans? im just really excited bc i had a propsal i liked

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

10? maybe i only half sleep when i wake up for the first time

do you wear a mask?

no, I would but people (BIO DAD) get very judey about them

how do you like your shower water?

just a bit warmer then comfortable

is there dishes in your room?

nope not allowed to have food in my room (ignore me getting snacks)

what type of music keeps you grounded?

grounded? maybe music that has bad memories tied to i try not to think of that and think of things around me? idrk what that means

do you have a favorite towel?

Yes i have a very thick big and plush towel i love it only thing i would change is the color (its just gray..)

the last adventure you’ve been on?

father's day gift for my bonus dad :3

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

I CANT HELP BUT MAKE A SCENE STEPPING OUT OFF MY HOT PINK LIMOUSINE IM TURING HEADS AND STOPPING TRAFFIC WHEN I POSE THEY SCREAM WHEN I JOKE THEY LAUGH IVE GOT A PAIR OF EYES TBAT THEY ARE GETTING LOST IN I HYPNOTIZE BY THE WAY IM WALKING

then cries bc i forgot the rest (i knew it by heart in middle school 😔)

okay probably heatwaves, life itself, pork soda, gooey, and black mambo by glass animals strawberry chainsaw by JAWNY monster from adventure time distant lands i believe? i could sing black sheep on karoke and do pretty well

wolf in sheeps clothing..

what’s your timezone?

CST/UTC−06:00

how many times have you changed your url?

Once, it used to be "edith-is-apparently-a-cat" didn't want others to find my tumblr so i threw a new word in there

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

no one?

a soap bar that smells good?

anything eucalyptus has me

do you use lip balm?

when i remember it

did you have any snacks today?

do the fries count

how do you take your coffee?

as much sugar as you can put in it

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

TikTok ig? i don't have a presence there like i do here tried twitter never really vibed

what’s your take on spicy foods?

God im a sheet of paper wish i could eat more bc some are so good just.... tolerance of a worm

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

I would have to do research before making that decision

can you remember what happened yesterday?

A bit? not everything exact i was just called into work early and made a bunch in tips

favorite holiday film?

The home alone movies 🙏🙏 yes i like them both I FUCKED UP THE ANSWER FOR DOVE SO YOU ARE ALSO GETTING IT

CHRISTMAS!!!!!! i love walking by the trees and decorations at night i love how cold it is i love the food i love the fact we are traveling around for family AAAAAA I WANNA GO TO A CHRISTMAS PARTY!!!!!!! second to that is thanksgiving bc so many people come around and theres food and sometimes I get to see my friends (WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IT WOULD BE SO COOL TO HAVE CHRISTMAS AND THANKSGIVING WITH XEN)

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

My mom offered me a sip of her wine when i was little and i hissed back SMELLS BAD ME NO DRINK though the process of making it is really cool

can you skip rocks?

no :(

can i tag you in random stuff?

OFCCCCC

#silly little bear answers :]#mr. devil!! 🪻

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isnt-it-pretty · 11 months ago

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Hi! I’m sorry this is pretty random but I don’t really know where else to talk about this and since I’ve seen you talk about disabilities a lot I thought I could ask for your opinion as well

Now, I’m not exactly disabled in the traditional sense for many I think.

I’ve had eye problems for years, only recently did I find out that it’s actually cornea dystrophy, a genetic disease not exactly treatable except it gets bad enough to need a cornea transplant (which usually only happens in older ages) My doctor said I don’t need that

My case however is also still a bit severe, I have to take eye drops mornings and evenings and even those don’t always help and I simply have to hope that I don’t wake up to pain. In cornea dystrophy your cornea doesn’t get lubricated enough and easily rips apart. This mostly happens in the morning… oh and how it happens… it’s an absolute nightmare at least thrice a week I’m ripped out of sleep by sudden severe pain in one of my eyes (it switches it’s always one or the other) it feels like someone is nonstop pouring acid in your eye and I always scramble to take pain killers, eye drops (which burn like hell on a fresh rip) and water, all in hurry because no one wants to understand how agonising it is and my boss also won’t understand that I WILL have days where I’m partially blind on one eye (everytime after an “attack” that eye usually sees completely blurry for a day or more depending on the severity of the rip and pain) sometimes the pain spreads over the entire side of my skull and my eye is crying non stop and my nose is also running bc of the sensation in my eye.

But no one around me wants to understand because my doctor simply said “just use eye drops frequently”. I do.. I use eyedrops, eye gel and eye patches everyday and still have frequent “attacks” and everyone treats them like they’re nuisances for THEM.

I’m hesitant to call this a disability, it does affect me and takes me out of commission before I scramble to lessen the impact in the morning yet I can still function “normally”.

I honestly don’t know where I wanted to go with this anymore…. I think I just want someone to know what I’m dealing with because neither family nor work are showing any understanding

Please feel free to ignore this and if you read this far thank you… You don’t have to reply or anything I think at this point I’m just venting and I’m so sorry to bother you with this

Please don't feel bad messaging me! I'm not a doctor of course, nor am I an expert in disability, but I don't mind having these conversations. Although fair warning, my answer will probably be just as rambly as you're worried yours was.

There's a lot to beeak down here including shitty doctors but first and foremost, I would absolutely call your condition disability, and I would even say that a lot of disabled people would agree.

Disability is a term that has many definitions depending on who is using it. Doctors, sociologists, government, and different aspects of the disabled community will all define it differently, but this is the dictionary definition:

a physical, mental, cognitive, or developmental condition that impairs, interferes with, or limits a person's ability to engage in certain tasks or actions or participate in typical daily activities and interactions

I'd certainly say that your condition certainly qualifies. Inability to see through one eye, even episodically, the need to rely on medications, pain that wakes you up or results in an inability to function. All of those are disabling. To say it isn't is like saying diabetes isn't a disability because all they need to do is take insulin, nevermind all of the other issues that come along with it. That lower-limb amputee? They aren't disabled, all they need to do is strap on a prosthetic leg! But it doesn't work like that. A disability is still a disability even with treatment or accessability.

Having good days, or even being "fine" a few hours after an episode, doesn't negate its impact on your life. It's an invisble disability, which is probably where a lot of people's shitty opinions come from. Other people can't see the problem, so, therefore, it must not exist. You must just be overreacting or faking or using it as an excuse to get out of work because otherwise they would see it. Unfortunately, it's easier for people to pretend disability simply doesn't exist. People around you not trying to understand or accomodate is ableism. It's also a willful and fundimental misunderstanding of disability. Just because some days I have the energy to clean, or you can see through both eyes, or a dementia patient remembers their daughter's name, doesn't magically make the condition go away, or make it impact your life any less when it does happen.

Your doctor being unconcerned(which is probably the wrong word. Uncaring? Unsympathetic?) is another problem but that one is deeply rooted in ableism within the medical community, and the common view of disability by medical professionals. Just because you don't need a cornea transplant doesn't mean you aren't deserving of care and sympathy from those around you. Even if they can't do anything to help, you still deserve that respect, and it's shitty that you don't have that.

The entire situation just sucks. The people are you suck. I'm sure they're lovely otherwise but this is obviously a part where they're lacking, and I'm sorry they're unwilling to accept that your conditon impacts you.

Edit: also feel free to DM me if you'd ever like to chat, or send me another ask

#asks #disability

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avalencias · 6 months ago

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For the 30 year olds ask meme:

3, 5, 8, 10, 12, 17, 25, 30, 33, 37, 39, 40, 42, 43, 46, 50, 54, 67, & 69

Hello insert fireelmo.gif!!!!!! Thank u!!!! Whew these were a lot so in deference to your dashes I will do a cut 🫡 they were fun tho 🥹

3. Foaming hand soap or normal hand soap?

Normal! When I lived with my cousin she liked foaming hand soap which is fine obv but I don’t go out and buy it so normal hand soap it is. I like Mrs. Meyer’s…

5. Least favorite chore?

Answered!

8. What cleaning product do you swear by?

Well I did say Mrs. Meyer’s, which I use for hand soap/dish soap…I also wanted to keep up with the fabuloso for mopping but I was introduced to the little pacs that you just drop into the mop so now I use that. But if we’re talking what cleaning product do I talk up all the time it’s bar keepers friend lol

10. Youtube, cable TV, or streaming?

I use a mix of YouTube and streaming! My fam/friends share a list of logins so we’re pretty evenly covered I feel

12. How many cups can you see from where you're sitting?

Shockingly just the one…oh no wait I can see into my office. I have one iced coffee I made myself approx. 20 minutes ago next to me and I can see my water bottle (which needs to be refilled) and an empty bottle of vitamin water…on my desk is an empty plastic cup I should’ve thrown out…and I can’t see it rn but I know it’s there so I’ll count my glass of iced coffee that I already finished

17. What's a movie you saw recently that you liked?

Oh goodness a movie?? I’ve seen others after it but I saw challengers in theaters and it was soooo great

25. Favorite old person activity?

Goodness…sitting on my couch after work with a drink in hand to veg out and watch my shows until it’s time for bed I guess

30. How many pairs of scissors do you own?

LMAO what a question. Ok I have 1 pair of kitchen shears that I try to keep solely for cooking related actions and one pair that’s kinda all purpose and lives in my toolbox (or it should). I think I have a pair of kid’s scissors I found when I was moving but I have no idea where I put that afterwards so I both do and don’t own it now

33. What's something you collect?

God. I used to collect coins from other countries but my brother threw it out (accidentally??) so… otherwise I’m always looking out for cute pins

37. Do you still listen to the same music you listened to in high school?

Ironically I made up a playlist composed of my fav middle/high school bangers that I listen to a lot now, so…yes

39. What little treat do you always get when you run errands?

Ok it’s not every time but there’s an ice cream shop that’s a cute couple minute’s walk from me that I’ll stop at after my more annoying errands

40. Grocery list or no grocery list?

I try to grocery list but inevitably forget while I’m there so…it’s all vibes. I now live across the street from my grocery store though so it’s not as bad.

42. What's an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want?

A kitchen aid stand mixer �� I’m sorry, I’m a sucker for the cute colors…that or one of those vitamix food processors. I didn’t have the space at my old place for appliances so now that I have the space it is a struggle not to just go ham. My sister also won an air fryer during bingo last year and tbh now I’m like………idk. Maybe……

43. Favorite book you've read recently?

Is it bad to say I haven’t finished a book in a while 😭 lemme look at my kindle…I have so many books partially started 🥲 I’m enjoying Silky Shah’s Unbuild Walls bc that’s who I am but I’ve also started the skin and it’s girl and an intrigued.

46. What kind of stuff do you keep on the door of your refrigerator?

I inherited a nice fridge (waaaay bigger than my old one AND it dispenses water/ice) which I love but the door isn’t magnetic. The side however is and I keep my knives on a block there along with miscellaneous magnets (including photos 🥲)

50. Pro or anti throw pillows?

Ok here’s the thing. I used to be anti throw pillows bc I’d be like they’re so annoying and tbh useless??? But now!!!! I got some comfy ass throw pillows and I’m into it. I am pro throw pillows now.

54. Do you decorate your house for holidays? Which ones?

I don’t!! My first year at my old place I didn’t bother to have a Christmas tree or anything and lemme tell you that was Controversial. I’ll have to get a new tree now, assuming I actually decorate…I might get a cute wreath for the door though and make it usable for the year? I don’t usually decorate special tho.

67. Do you keep any stuffed animals on your bed?

Aaron, my little wolf I’ve had for decades, lives on my couch owing to the face that I have something like five pillows on my bed now

69. What are you looking forward to next week?

USWNT send-off (or one od them anyway) next Saturday! I’m also looking forward to getting my coworker’s trial over with (I’m taking over for him and am trying not to be too nervous about it).

#asks

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reversequalia · 1 year ago

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awwww my boys were in the lead for a while there... _(: 」∠)_

ANYWAY *pulls up a chair* let me tell you about Cultivation Chat Group and the wonder that is baisong.

So CCG is about this guy Song Shuhang, a perfectly normal college student with pretty good luck who accidently gets added to a chat group of real cultivators. For a while, he thinks they’re just embarrassingly enthusiastic roleplayers, but eventually he figures out that no, cultivation is very real, and he dives head first into being a cultivator too.

It’s kind of a parody of the cultivation/xianxia genre and its tropes, but also a genuine take on it, too, with some pretty vibrant worldbuilding. Personally, I don’t think you need to be super familiar with xianxia to enjoy it (bc a lot of what it’s parodying has parallels in shonen & superhero media, & otherwise its kind of doing its own thing), but knowing the basics wouldn’t hurt.

Shuhang takes to being a cultivator and a part of this chat group like a fish to water. But he is still the rookie newbie, and thus the perfect person to give tasks you don’t really want to do. Such as, retrieving a beloved but terrifying senior who’s ending his 150 year secluded meditation.

Enter Senior White.

Senior White is a wonderful senior, but he is basically a walking disaster. He’s wildly lucky, but that luck brings danger to the people around him. He’s insatiably curious and likes things apart, but can’t put them back together (things tend to explode). He loves speed, and will modify whatever vehicle he’s using to go faster, even if it falls apart. If he gets distracted and falls over, he makes a giant crater in the ground...and he gets distracted at the drop of a hat.

And also the being attractive to literally everyone thing. (ftr there’s a fair bit of casual homophobia in this novel and 90% of it is the straight men of the group being uncomfortable with being attracted to Senior White. Except for Shuhang, because he’s based.)

Anyway, Shuhang and Senior White get along immediately, and Senior White also starts causing trouble immediately, such as driving them both off a cliff:

And also flying a helicopter into space:

And “falling asleep” for two days when they go to meet Shuhang’s very-normal-and-entirely-unaware-of-cultivation parents:

And while a lot of their relationship is Senior White causing trouble and Shuhang just being along for the ride, when it comes to causing trouble for other people, they’re pretty much on the same wavelength:

(Also, Shuhang is more than willing to mess with Senior White as well, something no one else is willing to do either. So Senior White isn’t the only troublemaker here lol)

Despite all the trouble, Shuhang never tries to avoid Senior White like the rest of the group--on the contrary, he’s always happy to see Senior White again after they’ve been apart, and he even offered to welcome Senior White back the next time he’s in seclusion for 100 years, which basically no one else has ever wanted to do. For his part, Senior White also immediately goes looking for Shuhang anytime he’s done with his solo business, even though it’s implied a few times that he doesn’t normally hang out with one person for so long.

(I mean, if all my friends always wanted to avoid me and this one guy was like :DDD every time I’m around him instead, even though I’ve put him through some serious shenanigans, I’d probably keep going back to that guy, too.)

Speaking of shenanigans, here’s Shuhang literally lending Senior White a hand:

(I don’t want to have to add an amputation warning, but basically after this, Shuhang’s walking around with only one & a half arms for a while. It’s fine, it goes back on just fine once Senior White is done borrowing it.)

And Senior White giving Shuhang a ring they got off a guy who died right in front of them a few minutes ago:

Which brings me to:

Technically, Shuhang does say “will you marry me”...but he’s quoting someone else lol. That said, he says it or references it several more times, even though it gets him in major trouble every time. So. Make of that what you will.

Also, the manhua does get pretty queerbaity with them earlier on, like so:

This is pretty much a manhua-only thing and doesn’t really happen in the novel, though. Shuhang’s resistance to Senior White’s charm in the novel is pretty iron-clad 95% of the time:

At the same time, [Palace Master Seven Lives Talisman] swept Song Shuhang with his gaze. Sure enough, little friend Shuhang’s resistance to Senior White’s charm was much higher than that of the other fellow daoists of the Nine Provinces Number One Group. At this time, he didn’t even dare look at Venerable White. On the other hand, Song Shuhang didn’t have such a problem—the only thing that Song Shuhang experienced was a slightly accelerated heartbeat, but besides that, everything else was normal. Perhaps it wasn’t a coincidence that Venerable White had stayed with Song Shuhang for so many months after coming out of secluded meditation this time.

ANYWAY if you’ve made it this far and you’re interested in checking out CCG, lemme hit you with some suggestions:

As you might have gleaned from my post, there’s a novel and a manhua.

The novel is great, but it’s also long; the English translation is currently at around chapter 2200 and I think there’s still 800+ more to go. Most chapters are only around 2000-2500 words, but it’s definitely a commitment.

The first 300 or so chapters of the manhua are an excellent, faithful adaptation, and the only real criticism of it is it can be a little slow (and, I realize, that’s also a lot lmao look it’s a long series...). The rest of the manhua is still a pretty decent adaptation, but the pacing (and abridgement) does pick up by a lot.

My advice is to start with the manhua. If you don’t enjoy it, you’re probably not going to enjoy the novel. If you do enjoy it, I definitely recommend checking out the novel too to get the full story, especially after manhua chapter 365 or so.

I’ll finish off with a couple warnings. Like I mentioned before, there is a fair bit of casual homophobia and also some transphobia/anti-crossdressing sentiments, on par with mainstream shonen from 10-20 years ago. Speaking as a queer person myself, I don’t find any of it to be malicious, just a bit misguided and tiresome, but you do you. The T-slur is in there, but it’s because the translators decided to translate a running gag that way for god knows what reason. It’s grating, but I promise the original joke has nothing to do with that (i also don’t remember it being in the English manhua, for what it’s worth). If you want to know more, feel free to hit me up and I’ll explain it further. Also, there’s some casual racism in the form of the ~primitive island savages~ trope that was also tired 20 years ago, but pretty much everything having to do with them is pretty skippable so. Also also, if body horror/modification is not your thing, especially re: eyes, maybe skip this one. It comes up more often than you’d think. Also, uh, pregnancy and excessive blood loss.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk; I’ll leave you all with this panel which is not queerbait at all and is in fact straight out of the novel.

Guess That Ship Tournament S5: Round 1

Gods Love and Bleed Just as We Do

cw: Religion

Silver is a divine being devoted to that which he does not fully understand. Growing up worshipped by all those around him and kept isolated from the outside world, he believed his only purpose in life was to find his master and serve him regardless of the other factors at hand. After being recruited by a group of fugitives led by the unknowing reincarnation of the God Silver was born to protect, he proves to know far less about the practical world than he originally suspected.

Gold is a divine being as well, similar to Silver, but with far different opinions regarding it. He loathes what he views as an unsightly curse, and hides it away from sight, preferring to live his life as any other person with a criminal record and lack of shame. He values freedom and wishes to spend his relatively short lifespan without having to submit to a master. As such, Gold actively avoids the God that Silver tried yearned for, and puts up a fight when they seek him out.

A great deal of tension is developed whenever Silver and Gold meet and their clashing beliefs become strikingly obvious. Over the course of time, the two slowly learn to trust and connect with each other, and better each other in the process. They fight side by side to protect one another and those they love.

Gold's real-world experience and overall distaste for commitment balance out Silver's naïvety and blind, fiery devotion. Gold helps Silver view himself as more of a person than an object of mass destruction, and Silver helps Gold become more comfortable in his identity as a being that is inhuman, but still just as worthy of affection and care.

Disaster Duo

It starts when Lightning (a kind young man with some scary luck) is volunteered by his new friend group to go pick up another of their friends who’s been away for a while, Earth. Earth is a very kind, generous, and obscenely lucky person, but he’s also a walking disaster and supernaturally attractive to literally everyone, which makes even his friends want to avoid him.

Turns out, Earth’s charm doesn’t have much effect on Lightning, and he isn’t put off by the various shenanigans Earth gets up to or the misfortune his luck brings either. He just treats Earth normally and is genuinely happy to see him and hang out with him. They get on like a house on fire immediately. (Luckily, nothing is actually set on fire, though Earth does drive them off a cliff oops and into space double oops.)

Although Earth had been planning to leave after a few days, he ends up staying with Lightning for far longer, and they always return to each other’s side after any solo trips elsewhere. The two of them practically embody the concept of “what’s mine is yours”, lending each other everything, such as Lightning’s literal arm and Earth’s life-bound sword (multiple times!). Lightning has even said the words “will you marry me” to Earth before.

#long post #cultivation chat group #polls #i could say so much more about them but i'm trying to keep it short #ps baisong isn't even my otp lmao though i do love them #but my real otp is kind of spoilery so

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freesomebodybyluna · 2 years ago

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Diary time!!!

#i ran errands today & my feet are blistered they hurt soooo bad #but i paid for next months driving lessons in person #had to go to campus to get the cash & then downtown to drop off the money which was hell #and i was gonna go thrifting downtown...as a treat but my sis reminded me that i needed to open a new bank acc that my mom DOESNT have #access to so i had to walk all the way back to campus & treated myself to a yummy horchata hehehe #it was huge & less than $5 & he filled less than half w ice so i didn't have to deal w watered down horchata #and omg.....soooo good its just the right amount of sweet #i havent been to that taqueria since freshman yr but ill still tell you its the best place to go to for mexican food here #anyways i closed my old acc & did a whole bunch of stuff while i was there & the lady was sooo sweet & helpful #and now i am free from my m*thers supervision hehehehehe #didnt pay attention to the fact that they used my m*ms last name instead of my d*ds which is what i normally go by #but ne ways theyre both my last names it doesnt matter in the end all my legal ids back me up #but yaaa i can barely walk & im gonna have to shower soon but im content for today i got a lot done #it feels really good & even though im physically tired i feel better now that im able to go out & do my own thing #w/o relying on a car to get me everywhere #also i feel at home i honestly didnt realize just how at home i feel here bc i was trying so hard to get an internship near s*attle #but im comfortable & all i need is this semester & then i can move on to the next ch of my life :')#im gonna make japanese curry too!!! i dont have oil but ill use butter it should be fine......i hope #still need to go on another grocery run whenever my bff has time to take me #dl

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seiyasabi · 4 years ago

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Bulls in the Bronx

(So…. long story short, I’m now a hucow simp. Thanks a lot @/biskywrites and @/dark-side-blog2 for making me this way (ﾉД`) lol, all jokes aside, I wanna suck some tiddy milk from a buff man ;)) Anyways, this is Yandere Hucow(Hubull?) Bokuto x Fem Reader ;0 This fic allows me to flex my farming knowledge lol, bc my grandparents owned ponies and dogs.

TW: !Noncon!, !dubcon!, creampie!, he hits you twice!, somnophilia!, predator vs prey?, manipulation!, cumflation!, breeding kink!, size kink!, ur a farmhand!, lactation!, tiddie sucking!, Asshole farmer Ushi, etc..

Please don’t proceed if any of the above are triggering! Also, sorry if Bokuto is too OOC lol)

“Bokuto got into the lackweed again,” You can’t suppress the laugh that explodes from your mouth. The idea of the biggest hucow (hubull??) on the ranch freaking out (again), because he’s now dripping milk is hilarious.

“Where on Earth does he keep finding those damn weeds?” The other farmhand laughs as well, stooping down to fill two buckets with water.

“I think those grass seeds were cross contaminated, the other hucows also started to lactate a lot more than usual. But, it’s kinda funny that our best breeder is dripping like a heifer,” Chuckling in acknowledgement, you can’t help but feel a pang of pity. Poor Bo, he’s probably really self conscious at the moment.

“Maybe I should go check on him-” Your coworker almost drops the bucket she’s filling, looking up at you as if you just grew three heads.

“Why would you do that? Did you forget that he’s going in rut soon?” Frowning, you glance down at the floor in mild shame.

“Well, yes, but he isn’t supposed to start until next week! Plus, I’m not ovulating right now, so I won’t trigger him,” The other girl thinks for a moment, before nodding slowly.

“I suppose it’d be fine. If anything, he may calm down if his favourite handler is there,” Nodding, you grab two buckets from the shelf beside you. Squatting down next to your coworker, you place a bucket underneath a faucet, turning the circular handle to the left. A gush of cool water rushes out, quickly filling the plastic pail. Quickly switching it out for the empty one, you wait a few more moments, before turning off the rushing water. Grabbing the handles of the buckets, you lift them whilst standing to your feet, using your legs instead of your back.

Nodding towards the other girl, you bid her farewell. Turning on your heel, you tromp towards the bull pens. The large red barn is quite a far distance from the shed you were once in, causing you to break out in a light sweat. It doesn’t help that it’s mid spring, causing the farm to be quite warm.

Setting the buckets down on the dirt ground, you wipe your brow with the back of your hand. Huffing out a deep breath, you quickly move the concrete slab keeping the barn closed away from the sliding door, before shoving it open. The sound of the cowbell on the red and white door handle on the inside clinks noisily, queuing a symphony of deep ‘moos.’

Picking up the buckets with bent knees, you hurry inside, relishing the feeling of the barn’s fans on your sweaty skin, “Hey guys, is the barn cool enough for you?” Grumbles and shifting of large bodies are all you get in response, causing you to laugh, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Gunning it for a certain grey haired bull’s stall, a bright smile makes its way onto your face, “Hey, Koutarou, how’re you feeling?”

He’s currently laying on his bed of compact hay, tears sliding down his handsome face. His cute ears are droopy, his bell earring not jingling with life like normal. His tears drip between his septum piercing, and drop onto his well defined abdomen, “Not good, (Your Name).”

With a small gasp, you set down the pails rather harshly, some of the cool liquid sloshing onto the wooden floor. Hurrying towards him, you sit on the prickly ‘mattress,’ “What’s wrong? I heard that you’re lac-” A small sob leaves his lips at your words, causing you to grab his hand reassuringly, “Are the other guys making fun of you? I can go yell at them if you’d like!”

The buff bull-man sits up, one arm covering his chest self-consciously, “No! They’re not being mean,” He grips your hand almost to the point that it’s painful, “I-it’s just… my chest hurts, real bad.”

Nodding in understanding, you motion towards his covered pecs, “Let me see, Bubs. I’ll see what I can do.”

His face flushes bright red, “But it’s embarrassing!” You shush him sweetly, releasing his hand to coax his arm away from his chest.

“It’s okay, I won’t make fun of you! I just wanna help you,” After a moment of hesitance, he obeys, revealing his swollen, red nipples.

The area around his nipples is raised as well, showing just how much his milk is backed up.

Eyes softening even more, you delicately rub both pecs, “You’re alright, Bubs. This happens to the cows sometimes when we don’t milk them as much as we need to. If you’d like, I can go find a pump!”

“No! I don’t wanna pump!” You jump slightly, and move away from him, only for his hands to trap your own to his chest. More tears gather in his eyes, as he becomes distraught, “I don’t want my milk to go to waste!”

Taken aback, you nod, although you don’t understand his reasoning, “Kou, why’re you acting like this? You know we don’t get rid of milk, we sell your guys’ milk at the market.”

He shakes his head, “I don’t want you to sell it. I want you to drink it,” The look of shock on your face is mistaken as disgust, causing him to cry even more, “Do you think I’m weird? Why do you look like that?” Seeing the bull act so sensitive is adorable, but you feel as though you have to comfort him.

“No, no, it’s okay! I’m not weirded out, I’m just surprised. I’ll go get a bucket-”

“No bucket!” Sighing at his weird behaviour, you cock an eyebrow at him.

“Then how am I supposed to collect it?” A big grin crosses his teary face.

“Drink from me! I promise I’ll be good!” Shifting in discomfort, an anxious sweat starts to form on your brow.

“Ahaha, that’s funny, Kou. You know I can’t do that,” More tears well up in his eyes, squeezing your heart painfully, “Don’t look at me like that, Bubs. I don’t think your owner would like me getting so close-”

“I don’t mind,” Ushijima’s voice booms throughout the barn, scaring the living daylights out of you. Whipping your head around, you make eye contact with the large male, an uncharacteristic smirk on his face, “As long as my star bull is happy, I’m happy.”

Kou releases your hands, only to grab your face, forcing you to look at him, “See! He doesn’t care! Please, (Nickname), please help me! My udders hurt so bad!”

With Ushijima’s eyes on you, and Koutarou’s sad and pain filled face, you finally relent, “Okay, okay! Don’t freak out, Bubs, I’ll help. You just gotta let me go.”

He releases you quickly, before shoving your head towards his chest. The jingling of his earring is heard, telling you that his ears are no longer pressed down on the top of his head. You hear heavy footsteps walk away from his stall, probably gathering the bulls to let them graze outside.

You try to push away from where your head is being smushed, but the bull gives you no leeway, “Why aren’t you drinking?” The male practically whines, as you whack his shoulder lightly.

“I’m being smothered in between your tiddies, Kou,” You chuckle in slight discomfort, but he finally allows you up. Moving towards his most swollen nipple (the left one), you pinch it between your thumb and forefinger, causing a small stream of milk to come streaming out.

A small moan leaves the large man’s lips, as he shoves you once again face first into his chest, “Don’t tease, (Nickname), I feel like I’m dying!” A flash of empathy goes through your heart.

Removing your hand from his nipple, you take a deep breath, and latch yourself onto him.Your chapstick covered lips are soft against his sensitive skin, causing him to keen. When you suckle, a tidal wave of milk bursts into your mouth. Luckily, it doesn’t taste very bad; his milk tastes like vanilla, causing you start to slurp it up like a babe.

Your one hand kneads his other pec to soothe him, “Fu-fuck, you’re making me feel so good!” You don’t bother trying to say anything, instead, you just suck harder. Your unoccupied hand squeezes his tit that you’re currently nursing on, causing him to pump out more of his yummy milk.

After a few long moments, you release his nipple. A drop of milk trickles down your chin, which the large bull laughs at. A thick finger wipes off the excess, pushing itself into your mouth. A tender look is in the grey haired man’s eyes, as he kisses your forehead.

“Thank you, pretty girl. Can you do the other one, please?” Now that he’s no longer in a painfilled state, he’s back to his normal, boyish self. Nodding, you lick your lips, before latching on to his other nipple. He barely chokes back a moan, his hand gripping the back of your head.

You suck as hard as you can without hurting him, pretending his nipple was a straw to a thick ass milkshake. Between your massaging and sucking, his teat no longer feels as painful as it once did.

Pulling away, you give him a wry smile, “There, all better. Well, I should pour your water into your trough now,” Standing up with wobbly legs, you move towards the filled buckets. Picking them up one by one, you pour it in with unsteady hands. Why are you so shaky right now? “Well, I should get going now. I hope you feel better later,” You try to walk out of his stall, only to be yanked back into Bokuto’s lap. Both empty pails fall to the ground unceremoniously, clattering loudly through the empty barn.

“Don’t leave me, Lovely, I need you,” His warm skin against yours feels nice, and you suddenly feel sleepy.

“Kou, I’m tired. I think-I think I’m gonna take a nap,” He runs his fingers (through your hair/over your scalp), tantalising you into drifting off.

“That’s alright, (Nickname), I’ll watch after you,” With a muffled ‘Mhm,’ you fall into a deep slumber.

When you awoke, you woke to your body shaking. Brow furrowing, you blearily open your eyes, only to see a tuft of grey hair in between your bent, spread legs.

His long tongue is currently fucking in and out of your dripping cunt, his thumb rubbing against your clit.

“Ku-Kou? Wha-“ He looks up immediately, a look of shock on his strong features.

“I-It’s Not what it looks like! I-I just wanted a taste!” You groggily push at his head, catching his ears slightly, causing a small jingling to sound throughout the empty barn.

“You didn’t ask, why, why are you-“ He grabs your hand, kissing each knuckle with a slobbering kiss.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Let me make you feel good! You taste so good,” You yank your hand back, trying to kick off the hand that currently wrapped around your right thigh.

“Get off of me! Bokuto, you-you’re doing this without my consent! I thought we were friends!” You shout, pushing at his face harshly. He grabs one of your hands, trying to kiss it, only for your other to clap him upside the face harshly, “Don’t! You’ve already done enough.”

Kicking him away (even though he’s much larger and stronger than you, meaning he just moved away), you stand to your feet, pulling back up your halfway down jeans and panties.

Snatching up the buckets previously discarded, you don’t even shoot the crying bull a glance, just turning on your heel, and stomping away.

Tears of your own drip down your face, humiliation and betrayal weighing down your aching heart.

Forcefully sliding open the barn doors, you run from it, catching the eye of a certain green haired farmer.

It seems Bokuto fucked up.

But that’s okay, when he goes into rut, there’ll be nothing keeping him from breeding you full of his massive calves.

You avoided the bull barn like the plague for the next week. The hucows are very pleasant company. They treat you as if you’re their young, making you feel well loved.

That is, until Hachi asked you why you’ve been avoiding Bokuto. She’d told you that he hasn’t acted the same, in fact, he’s acted depressed and withdrawn.

Since then, you’ve stuck with aquatic life. The fish, swans, and ducks don’t give you that much trouble.

But, when you come back from the pond and fish pools, the farm is ensued with panic. Apparently, Bokuto’s finally gone into rut.

And, unfortunately for you, he’s on the prowl for you.

So, when your coworker runs up to you, begging for you to calm him, you turn on your heel, and start walking back towards the pond. They can figure this out themselves, you’re not going to sacrifice yourself to someone who tried to take advantage of you.

Sadly, that doesn’t work out.

You’re immediately stopped by Ushijima, his broad form blocking you from advancing forward, “Where do you think you’re going?” His arms are crossed, an angry scowl on his usually handsome features.

“I forgot something at the pond,” You lie, smoothly, “I’m going to go grab it real quick-”

“You’ll do nothing of the sort,” His strong voice booms, “What you’re going to do, is march yourself into the barn, and make my prized bull happy.”

Your own scowl forms on your pretty face, “I will do nothing of the sort. Interspecies sex is illegal! You can fire me for all I care, I’m not going in there!” You try to move around his large form, only to be manhandled into a chokehold.

His left arm is wrapped around your neck, your back to his chest, and your face being held in a large hand, “Interspecies sex is legal when a human and hybrid are mates,” He hisses through gritted teeth, and you struggle in his hold, “If you don’t go in there, I’ll drag you in.”

“Fuck you,” You spit, “I’ll fucking castrate you!” You kick backwards, landing a solid hit on the large man’s groin. With a loud yell, you’re let go, allowing you to run towards the farm’s parking area. Pulling your truck’s keys from your pocket, you haul ass, not bothering to look behind you.

The barns and sheds fly past you, as you run through the open field leading to the car park. You suddenly hear loud footsteps follow after you, and you assume that it’s Ushijima, that is, until you hear them, “(Nickname)! (Nickname), where are you going? Why are you running away from me?” Bokuto’s voice rings out at top volume, hurting your ears. His voice a lot more gravely than before, and without looking at him, you know that he most likely looks crazed.

You don’t respond, trying to pick up the pace. You click the unlock button one time, only unlocking the driver’s side door. Because you had a head start, you cleared the field in less than three seconds, allowing you to hop into your truck, and lock the doors. Shoving the key into the ignition, all whilst buckling your seatbelt, you press on the brake, and turn it, only to hear the spluttering of your failing ignition, “Come on! Don’t do this-” Bokuto slams into the driver’s side door at top speed, rocking your large vehicle harshly. His hands and face are pressed against the window, his expression looking like that of a kicked puppy. You then notice the fact that the buff male is completely naked, his impossibly large cock bobbing against his toned stomach.

“Why are you trying to leave? I need you so badly, pretty-pretty. Why don’t you open the door, and we can figure this out? I promise I’ll make you feel good, after all, us bulls pride ourselves in taking care of our mates,” You cringe in disgust, not bothering to answer him. Instead, you continue to fiddle with your ignition, muttering expletives under your breath. His large hands start to beat on your driver-side window, trying to gain your attention, “(Nickname), come out already! Ushi already cut your fuel line, so you’re not going anywhere! Come on, I just wanna make you feel good-”

It was your turn to cut him off, “Shut up! We aren’t friends anymore, Bokuto, much less lovers! Just leave me the fuck alone! I’m sure many of the cows would love to help you through your rut, why can’t you just ask them?” Tears of frustration dot your eyelashes, as you pop open your glove box and search for your phone. Catching sight of the black cased (phone type), you snatch it from its confines with a loud ‘Aha,’ “Don’t make me call the Farmer’s Union, Bokuto. I’ll report you and Ushijima for-”

“You won’t! You love me too much!” His frantic words raise in volume, as he hit the glass even harder than before, “You wouldn’t put me down! Come on, (Nickname), why won’t you call me ‘Bubs’ anymore? I love you!” You swipe open your phone, and go to the contacts. Pulling up the Farmer’s Union phone number, you go to press ‘call,’ only for the shattering of glass to halt you.

You scream in both fear and shock, throwing up your hands to protect your face. This, in turn, causes you to drop your phone. In this time, Bokuto is able to grab you by your arms, and drag you towards the broken window. Your seatbelt keeps you in place, causing him to pull you even harder, and making you scream in pain.

You use your arm to whack his against the broken glass on your truck’s window area. He releases you in a moment of pain, allowing you to unbuckle yourself, and throw yourself to the passenger side. Once there, you unlock the door, and bolt towards the road.

“(Your Name), come back here! Stop being so difficult!” You pay him no mind, a few meters away from the busy road. Noticing a car speeding towards the area you’re running to, you push yourself even harder, trying to throw yourself into the road. Unfortunately, you’re grabbed by two buff arms that encircle your waist. They use all of their strength to smash you into their chest from behind, knocking the air from your lungs, “Are you crazy? You could’ve been hurt!” You thrash and try to bite at him, causing Bokuto to backhand you across the face, “Now look what you made me do! If you’d been good, I wouldn’t have had to do that!”

To be completely honest, you’re in shock. Bokuto has never raised a hand at you, and that slap wasn’t a warning tap. No, that was him using a good majority of his strength, causing your cheek to throb painfully.

You continue to thrash and curse after freezing for a moment, drawing the eyes of concerned coworkers, “Let go of me! What the fuck is wrong with you? Put me down!” You try to kick him in the junk, only to kick him on the inside of his thigh. In retaliation, he backhands you again, this time on the other cheek. Gasps and whispers are heard from those around you, drawing the large hucow’s eyes.

“There’s nothing to see here, guys! Just my mate making a scene,” He shakes you a bit to shut you up, causing you to become disoriented. The farmhands and other hybrids look like they’re about to step in, only for Ushijima himself to show up.

“What Bokuto said is correct,” His harsh gaze is on you, his hand gripping his dick, “She’s just making a scene. Let them through.”

They reluctantly go back to their business, as Koutarou guns it to the empty bull barn. Ushijima only watches as you’re dragged to the large building, as tears drip down your face in fear, and his fist at his side clenches in fury.

Stomping into the barn, Bokuto makes quick work of getting to his stall. Once inside, he tosses you on the hay mattress, and straddles your waist. With pawing hands, he rips your t-shirt and jeans off of you, leaving you in your bra and underwear, along with your boots and socks. Yanking off your boots, be tossed them out of his ‘room,’ as you try to throw punches at his muscular chest. He grunts, but doesn’t stop.

With beefy fingers, he yanks off your bra, ripping it in two. Your tits jiggle at his harsh movements, making him lick his lips in enjoyment. He then rips off your cotton panties, exposing your cunny to his hungry eyes.

“You’re beautiful, pretty-pretty. I can’t wait to see you stuffed with my calves,” You shake your head no rapidly, pushing his hands away from where they rest on your hips.

“No! Stop it, Bokuto! I thought we were friends!” He tightens his grip on your pelvis, forcing your legs open.

“That’s Not my name, (Nickname), you know that. Now, you know that I’m way more than just your friend-I’m your mate, and you know that I’ll provide for you and our calves,” With grubby fingers, he rubs at your clit, trying to draw a good reaction from you.

You squirm in response, trying to wriggle out of his one handed grip. You shove at his chest, but he remains unmoved, choosing to press down harder than before, “Stop it! Let me go!”

He inserts his middle finger into your moist cunny, forcing it in and out. You try to kick him in the head only for him to catch your leg with the hand that previously held your hip, “If you wanted me to eat you out that bad, you should’ve just said so, pretty girl,” Before you can refuse, he throws your legs over his shoulders, and dives in.

His long tongue fucks in and out of your hole, one of his thumbs rubbing your clit. A loud whine escapes your throat before you can stop it, making you feel a wave of disgust for yourself. Bokuto shouldn’t be making you feel good, he’s assaulting you, after all.

But, when his tongue brushed against your g-spot, you can’t help but convulse in pleasure. Thighs quaking, you try to stop yourself from cumming.

“St-stop! I’m, I’m gonna-“ He stops before you can cum, instead, pushing your hips down to where his cock lays against his abs. Forcing the bulbous head against your tiny hole, he pushes harshly, trying to fuck into you like an animal, “No! No! You’re too big! You’re going to tear my-“ With one powerful thrust, he forces his way inside, and you can’t help but scream.

Tears drip down your face at the feeling, your pussy feeling like it’s been ripped open. Bokuto grabs your head, and forces it against his chest, practically making you take one of his pink nipples into your mouth. You’re immediately met with the taste of his vanilla milk, drinking it up as the hucow starts to buck into you at a lightning fast pace.

Your teeth bite down on his nipple, but instead of being angry, he just moans in lust, “Yes! Yes, pretty girl, you’re taking me so well!”

His hand that isn’t cradling your head goes to your tummy, feeling his huge length moving underneath your skin. He presses down a bit, causing another wanton moan to leave to both of you. With this thought in mind, he picks up the pace, practically fucking you into unconsciousness.

Eyes rolling back, your ruined cunny gushed pathetically, coating you and the bull with your juices, “(Nickname), you’re so pretty when you cum,” He continues his breakneck pace, getting close to orgasm himself, “I’m gonna fill you up so good, that you’ll be dripping with my fun for days! Your little womb will be bloated with my fertile cum!”

You try to speak, but you can’t, just continuing to suck his yummy milk from his teat. Walls fluttering with another orgasm, you feel yourself clamping down on his enormous cock.

With one last mighty thrust, he seats himself fully inside of you, cumming directly against your unprotected cervix. A muffled scream erupts from your chest, as you feel your womb expand with copious amounts of beeile cum. Releasing his nipple, you throw your head back, a loud cry echoes throughout the barn, as you squirt once more around his cock.

Now completely filled to the brim, you pass out from the trauma. Entirely exhausted, Koutarou grins down at your bloated form. He rubs your tummy like a Buddha statue, kissing it tenderly.

“You’ll be a good Mommy, I’m sure of it,” he then trails his hand up your abdomen, groping your right tit, “You’ll look so pretty all milky and filled with my calves.”

The sound of a throat clearing gains Bokuto’s attention, as he practically throws his naked body over yours. A loud ‘moo’ of warning escapes his chest, even when he notices that the person is just Ushijima.

“I see that she mates with you well,” His eyes trail over your sleeping face, not straying downwards, “I hope this means that you’ll enter more shows.”

Bo smiles, “Yes. Now I need to show off, so my mate thinks I’m an eligible male.”

Nodding, Ushijima turns on his heal, making his way to leave the barn, “I hope your children take after you in strength. (Your Name) is a lot prettier than you are, so maybe they’ll be pleasing to the eye as well.”

Snorting, the grey haired man’s ears twitch, jingling throughout the room, “You bet she is. She’s perfect.”

#yandere bokuto #bokuto koutarou #yandere haikyuu #yandere haikyuu imagines #yandere haikyuu x reader #yandere koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto imagines #bokuto haikyuu #hybrid au #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu au

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tinyyoungblood · 4 years ago

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hi!! adore your work love. could you maybe do smth where stark!reader has to get her wisdom teeth out but HATES the dentist so she brings her boyf peter and her dad w her?? and then when they get home the avengers are all waiting with like comical amounts of flowers and stuffed animals and then reader says some funny shiii and thor thinks she’s like dying lol. idk if that made sense but i’m getting my wisdom teeth out soon and i’m scared😭 thank u so so much love u babe

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

a/n: tysm lovely :,) i rushed through this like my life depended on it, but i hope i’m not too late. either way, i hope you’re okay! it’s frightening but those bad boys gotta go because we don’t need that kind of energy in our lives. enjoy x

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

wisdom teeth? more like wisdoom

y/n has to get her wisdom teeth removed and it’s the singular most dreadful thing she’s ever had to do, which says a lot because her dad is tony richling stark

doing dreadful things she doesn’t want to do but still somehow end up doing just because she can is a personality trait at this point

no one really makes a big deal out of it since ~death~ is part of their job description, but y/n is terrified

and when a stark is terrified the only thing that will keep them one step from insanity is researching the hell out of it

that information will be info dumped into every conversation for the next few weeks leading up to the appointment

“y/n you need anything from the store?” "no thanks, did you know the side effects of getting your wisdom teeth out include ✨sudden death or blood clots✨ tho” “……..i have a coupon?”

the day of the appointment, peter comes along and literally doesn’t let go of y/n’s hand. he keeps touching her to let her know that he’s there and it’s so. adorable

he would rest his hand on her knee, gently stroke her back while holding her, or just play with her hair

happy drops them off and he’s too Cool™ for emotions but he knows y/n’s a wreck, so he just fist bumps her with a single nod and she almost breaks down bc it’s really affectionate

y/n is sitting in the dentist chair and genuinely nothing is happening yet, but she’s squeezing peter’s hand like it’s a sponge

peter might have a high pain tolerance but he’s in pain pain and he prays that his hand won’t just explode on him

the dentist notices how peter tries to keep it together and chuckles

“you okay there, son?” “yea it’s fine, had a better time when a building fell on me tho haha” “pardon?” “oh i mean i didn’t have a good time, i just had a better time”

because y/n is running Anxious Town™, the dentist gives her a sedative to help her relax

plus, an injection of local anaesthetic to numb the tooth and surrounding area

she doesn’t feel anything and it’s GREAT

the procedure is quicker than expected and now the real fun begins

she tries to walk but she falls down so peter scoops her up bridal style and happy stays glued at her side

y/n doesn’t mind although she literally doesn’t recognise them and they’re practically strangers to her

but girly sees an opportunity and tries to flirt with peter bc why wouldn’t she

“you’re pretty” *blushes* “why thanks” “you should let your girlfriend know” “i should let her know i’m pretty?” “so you do have a gf? :(” “yea it’s you” “:)”

they stop for gas and peter goes in to get some water for y/n, and in her infinite wisdom, she decides it’s burger time

her mouth is completely numb and she’s practically leaving a trail of drool behind her, but she’d kill for a burger right now

so she wobbles around aimlessly for an hour on some random parking lot as if the ground might just magically open up like a rabbit hole and lead her to five guys

she’s going places. not back to the car. definitely not five guys. they’re closed. but places

peter finally finds her and he’s drenched from head to toe in sweat. he doEsn’T wAnt tO tALk abOut iT tho so she lets him take her to subway instead

normally, she would know that peter’s usual subway order is bread-lettuce-jalapeño

but in her drugged-up state, it had simply slipped her mind so now she’s staring at him like he’d just murdered someone right in front of her

“that- that’s your order?? no meat or anything just bread, lettuce, and a little spice?”

meanwhile at the compound, sam and steve are ordering everyone around bc they want to decorate this place before y/n gets home to surprise her

they take it very seriously too. they’ve watched like one HGTV show and said it’s our time

they finally get home and tony gives y/n a big hug, asking her what took so long

happy tells him that she was keen on getting burgers bc apparently someone has taught her that stressful times call for ~cheeseburgers~

he proceeds to look at tony with a pointed look

tony just shrugs and goes “she was a problem child. we don’t mention her dark past”

she’s swaying on the spot and keeps grinning like a fool and thor just stares at her weirdly before elbowing bruce and whispering loudly,

“what’s wrong with her? is she dying? should i start collecting leaves, i know this remedy—"

no one can tell if y/n is just happy to see the newly decorated home or if she’s just delighted to see everyone but then she goes around hugging the entire team

she doesn’t even acknowledge the sky-high pile of teddy bears and flowers everywhere bc she’s just squeezing everybody

y/n is so high, she just starts to spill all of her feelings about everyone and they’re already so overwhelmed by the hug chain they can’t take this too

“wanda i just want you to know that you’re like my big sister and you’re always taking care of me and i know you and vision are just going to make such good parents one day”

“bucky you absolute PRICK, you FIEND, you’re the best chess player ever and that’ll never change and i wouldn’t be good without you, i hate to say it but you deserve happiness even after you made me lose five times in a row yesterday”

“dad, you’re so strong and smart, even though we’re like never on the same page, you’re always along for the ride, i want to be like you when i grow up, i swear i’m gonna try to be as good to the avengers as you were to us” “aww- wait makes you think i'll be the first to die“

“nat you’re such a bitch about your protein shakes but you’re my best friend and i wouldn’t have it any other way, you can try out as many make up looks on me as you want”

“bruce, brucey, i would live with you in your lab for the rest of my days if i had to, whenever you ask me to hand you stuff i feel useful and important”

“laura’s way out of your league clint i have no idea how the fuck you got her but don’t lose her and i want to be your next child’s godmother”

“steve…we’re your family now. we’re always gonna be your family now. okay?”

“loki you’re not fooling anyone with your attitude, we all know you’re part of the family, you were just misunderstood and messed up bc of your dad–FUCK him by the way–but i realised everyone deserves as many chances as they need because of you”

“sam i would genuinely kill anyone who wronged you, even if they cut you in line at the grocery store, i would knife them no hesitation”

“thor, you poor golden retriever have been through so much, on my way here i made a wish on an eyelash for you bc you deserve better, your postcards always make my day, love you”

she mumbles something to peter that no one else can hear but he blushes and chokes back a sob

y/n orders hot soup and bucky brings it to her but before he even has time to react peter drops everything and ZOOMS across the room in .3 seconds

he barrels into bucky so hard they both go flying, but peter just smoothly rolls out of it and onto his feet like some kind of super ninja

“DUDE WHAT THE HELL” “😠 y/n is not supposed to drink hot liquids 😠”

all of this happens in mere seconds but sam has filmed it all and now slow mo clips go viral online of some mysterious kid knocking over the winter soldier

y/n’s a little in and out after that, but when she fully regains consciousness, she’s on a pile of blankets, surrounded by the team on the floor <3

* * *

let me know if this is actually comforting lmao stay hydrated pals

hc masterlist

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x you #peter parker headcanon #peter parker fluff #avengers x you #avenger x reader #avengers headcanon #tony stark headcanons #steve rogers headcanon #natasha romanoff headcanon #thor headcanon #loki headcanon #bucky barnes headcanon #sam wilson headcanon #avengers crack #peter parker concept #peter parker x y/n #avengers x y/n

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ootahime · 3 years ago

Text

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga 😈

this series will probably have more than one part because tumblr only lets me upload ten images per post </3

warning: there are disgustingly long paragraphs in here and delusions

chapter 32

utahime’s first introduction! akutami lets us know right off the bat that she thinks gojo is an idiot (so true).

chapter 32

i love the contrast between miwa and utahime’s reaction to gojo’s appearance.

chapter 33

NAH BC TELL ME WHY HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO NOT GET HER ONE LMAOOOO!! when he traveled overseas to meet with yuta, he picked up the tribal protection charms and thought to himself, “let’s get enough for the kyoto students as a gift since i am such a great and caring teacher, after all. mmm, i should skip utahime to make her mad~” this guy puts way too much effort into getting on her nerves. his mind = utahime brainrot

chapter 33

she’s laughing at him here because he’s getting disciplined for being a lil shit. i wonder...what would he say if he saw her laughing at him like that?

chapter 33

this interaction between them is a little strange don’t you think? i feel like over the years he’s learned how to pick up her mood based on the way she’s acting towards him. you’re probably thinking, “well any person can figure out how a person’s feeling based on the way they’re talking or acting.” yes, that’s absolutely true, but it’s kind of different with this. she’s acting normal. utahime has a rather indifferent expression on her face and what she says is spoken in a calm tone, but gojo still asks her if she’s mad at him. it’s likely that he knows her well enough to be able to notice these subtle things. even if she wasn’t actually mad at him, he was being considerate for a split second, then he went and said, “of course. i didn’t do anything wrong and all.” what a guy LOLOL. to me, this implies that maybe he made her genuinely angry in the past to the point where he realized that he went too far, and thus decided to be more careful of her feelings. she has definitely gotten annoyed at him so many times after that so whenever she seems angry, he probably asks himself if he took it too far. i’m curious to see if he can pick up if she’s upset with something that’s not involving him. would he console her? how does gojo satoru console someone?

despite him always annoying her, she’s still courteous and brings him a cup of tea during their talk. she didn’t have to go out of her way to get tea for him but she did. that’s the kind of person utahime is. a kind and caring woman who would never put her students in danger. in the anime they were sitting far away and not facing each other like they’re doing in the manga. she also has her own tea cup. i think that little panel of her placing the cup down on the table and him picking it up to take a sip is a nice little detail. it just proves that her hating him most of the time isn’t actually pure hatred but annoyance because of his shenanigans and teasing.

chapter 33

i touched upon this a little bit in my previous post, but i wish to go more in depth about this panel. first of all, he ends the sentence with her name twice. two times too many, mr. gojo. i like how they can be serious with each other too LOL. i wish we got to see them talk about the traitors because they did figure it out together after all. does it always end in bickering? can they interact with each other like adults all the way through? somehow, i feel like that’s not possible when it comes to these two. furthermore, notice how gojo confides in utahime about his suspicions. from what we know, she is the first person he brought it up to. i mean, i guess he has to start investigating the schools and would need extra assistance to save time, but he could have done it himself if he really wanted to. by deciding to ask for her help we know that he thinks she’s trustworthy, smart, and strong enough to face whatever considerable risks this task may entail.

i didn’t point this out in my other posts but see how he makes a hand sign in the last panel when she throws the cup at him? gojo is manually activating his infinity. why though? about a year after the whole star plasma vessel incident happened, gojo develops the ability to keep his infinity up at all times by using the reversed curse technique to consistently heal himself to prevent exhaustion. this means that it really makes no difference whether he leaves it on or off. there are a few times where we can witness someone actually touching gojo. for example, yuuji giving him a hug. did he turn his infinity off, or was it able to deduce that yuuji was not a threat? the erasers and pencils shoko and geto threw at him during his demonstration of his new ability aren’t dangerous normally, but is it the speed that makes them dangerous? even if it did hit him, it wouldn’t hurt. how does the infinity know when to allow an incoming object to touch gojo? i believe it is up to gojo himself to let things touch him; his infinity restricts anything and anyone. some people say it could just be the fact that water is not dangerous to him, so therefore, he has to manually put his infinity up. i thought this was a reasonable explanation as to why he put up the hand sign when the tea was thrown at him, but then i realized that it couldn’t be. remember the second opening? it’s raining and everyone is carrying an umbrella, then it pans to gojo with a bouquet in his hand and rain drops slipping off his infinity. if he DID manually put his infinity up to prevent getting soaked then that implies that he chose to turn his infinity off. you can argue and say that jujutsu high is a safe place with students so there’s no need to have his infinity there, but do you remember when he stepped on the ants in front of gakuganji and yaga? the ants were perfectly fine after which insinuates that his infinity prevented his shoes from crushing the ants. he most likely had his infinity on during the baseball game even though he was in a safe environment. how does this long tangent relate back to utahime? well, it simply indicates that gojo trusts utahime so much to the point where he can be vulnerable around her. turning off his infinity symbolizes completely letting down his guard in a way.

how about what happens next? utahime throws the tea at him, he turns on his infinity to deflect it, and he responds with, “scary! hysteric women aren’t popular, you know!” why would he even say that LMAO?? utahime doesn’t even try to deny what he said either. she just hits him with the good old, “i am your senpai!” could it be that he’s trying to poke fun of her relationship status? maybe, maybe not. doesn’t he like people a lil crazy? he did say that all jujutsu sorcerers have to be a little crazy because they’re willing to put themselves in danger constantly.

chapter 0 p.1

i wonder who he’s thinking of when he said that. could it be utahime? it seems like he’s reminiscing or thinking about someone. he wears an amused expression on his face as he laughs - almost like he’s seen his fair share of how scary women can get :>>

chapter 34

the pattern behind gojo and utahime is called yagasuri “fletching,” a traditional japanese design. this design is inspired by arrow fletching. it's a lucky charm for weddings and other celebrations since it's based on the Japanese belief that an arrow shot once never comes back. brides were given kimonos with this pattern for good luck during the edo era (1603–1868) to ensure they would not have to return to their original family home. this pattern can have numerous meanings such as steadfastness or determination to achieve a goal, or a wish for the happiness of the bride. there is a belief that a bow and arrow represent the fight against evil. honestly, this meaning fits the narrative of the story. utahime and gojo are unearthing the traitors that are feeding intel to the curse users and cursed spirits. they are in the middle while the kyoto students surround them, which could mean that it’s their job as adults to protect these children from the grasps of evil slowly making itself more prominent. do you also notice that the arrows are pointed toward utahime from gojo? from all the images i’ve seen, the arrows are usually pointed downward. what could this mean? is gojo trying to protect her (in the future (?)) or does he have a big fat crush smh...

i think it’s a good time to mention utahime’s clothing. she’s wearing miko attire. miko are shrine maidens who were once thought to be shamans (you connecting the dots?). in their service to shrines, miko used to perform spirit possession and takusen (in which the possessed person acts as a "medium" (yorimashi) to communicate the divine will or message of that kami (god) or spirit; also included in the category of takusen is "dream revelation" (mukoku), in which a kami appears in a dream to communicate its will). this was back in the old days, of course. to become a miko back then (shaman), one needed to have potential. neurosis, hallucinations, odd behavior, and hysteria (HYSTERIA HELLO???) are some of the signs that a person is being called to shamanism. when a miko is communicating with a kami (god) or spirit by acting as a medium, she is in a trance-like state, and so she must learn techniques to control herself when this happens. chanting and dancing were used to accomplish this, so the girl was taught melodies and intonations that were used in songs, prayers, and magical formulas. all of this could give us insight about utahime’s technique and explains why she’s good at singing :) maybe she can’t control herself when she uses her technique which is why she isn’t shown using it because it should be used for dire situations. i imagine being possessed by a spirit or god must consume a lot of cursed energy. it makes sense that utahime and gakuganji wear traditional clothing. they’re the staff of jujutsu high’s kyoto branch. in chapter 0, kyoto is known as the sacred land of jujutsu. it’s more traditional compared to tokyo. if you want to learn more about miko, you should check out the wikipedia page!

chapter 34

i swear he tries to annoy her every chance he gets. i bet he sets a goal for himself to see how many times utahime lectures him about respecting his seniors every time he’s within the same vicinity as her. at least he called her utahime-sensei!!!

chapter 40

this isn’t even a gojohime moment tbh...i just wanted to share a pic of them sitting next to each other HEHE. why are they sitting next to each other anyway? it’s not like they have assigned seating.

----

that was so long and i apologize for the gargantuan paragraphs you guys had to read through. i’m writing this at 4 in the morning and i’m feeling borderline delirious so i apologize if there are any errors. i’ll edit this when i have time <3

the next part should come shortly.

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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cookinguptales · 2 years ago

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I will preface this by saying that of course I’m a nandermo shipper so I’m biased but like

as a writer

I’m looking at this whole Freddie thing with like... increasing confusion. Like... the way to get your audience invested in a romance is to, y’know, show it? They’re hinting at it, but we’re not really getting to see any of the things that usually get fans into a romance. Not how they met, not how they got together, not how they actually interact, not their ship dynamic... It’s mostly been some generic phone endearments and Guillermo hanging up on him mid-sentence. Hard to get a handle on, y’know?

At this point, I’m guessing that there’s a very high likelihood that we really won’t even see the guy until the end of the season. And while hinting at a mysterious lover is great for a fuckin murder mystery or something, it’s not an effective way to get an audience invested in what a romance is rather than what it could be.

So at this point, I can’t help but wonder if we’re not supposed to be getting invested in it...?

Maybe I just spent too long in Big 2 comics fandom, but I know that a good way to get your fans annoyed at a new love interest is to have an established main character go from 0 to 60 about them with no build-up that the fans are actually privy to. Like, we know that the character has feelings for them, and that’s fine. But in order for the fans to have feelings about them, we also need to kind of fall in love with them, y’know? It’s easy to feel cheated and irritated with a character if the writers neglect that very important step.

When it comes to writing a romance, it’s just... not good writing... And I think these are not bad writers! So the only other thing I can think of is that they’re not writing a romance. Either what they’re actually building to is a storyline about Guillermo’s fucked up interpersonal skills and inability to ever actually be “normal” (highly likely, I think) or one where Freddie causes trouble (less likely, I think, though this show doesn’t really have normal people in it) or it’s going to be a story about Guillermo and Nandor in the end (which feels... pointed in the show itself, but seems unlikely from interviews?) or... I don’t know.

I’ve been trying to give both of these new relationships absolute benefit of the doubt (despite obviously not really wanting them to go well, lmao) because I mean! I’ve changed my mind on pairings that split up my ships if they’re well-written enough! I’ve actually spun dozens of scenarios for how these two relationships could work in my head. But yeah, it’s getting harder and harder with each passing episode. Both Marwa and Freddie feel more like plot devices in someone else’s story than actual characters at this point, and we are swiftly running out of episodes. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to see ways that each of these could become well-written romances. (Nandor/Marwa especially is dead in the water, I think.)

And I mean... These writers are so fucking good at writing romance when it comes to Laszlo and Nadja! That’s a pairing that we were also introduced to well after they got together, but they managed to show their ship dynamic so charmingly so quickly that you kind of feel like you’ve known them forever. So the fact that they’re just... not doing that... has me like ??? what are you planning??? because it sure as shit doesn’t feel like a well-developed romantic storyline! lmao

At this point, even if Freddie does stick around for s5 (not a thing I’m hoping for, mostly bc of narrative cohesion reasons which I went into with one of my last answered asks) his introduction has just been so damn strange that I don’t know if this can ever feel like an organic relationship...? I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I realized at a certain point that it was because, based on how this is being used in the narrative, it’s starting to feel more like foreshadowing for a bad thing than a good one. Or if not a bad thing, then at least an explosive one?

I mentioned it in one of my last posts, but this is starting to give “Colin’s 100th Birthday” vibes. The way they keep bringing it up, but too quickly for any real information? The way that “Freddie” has been announced as the penultimate episode of the season, the same spot where Colin “died”...? This is starting to make me uneasy!

I guess I’ll just end with saying personally, I kind of hope that the thing with Freddie ends catastrophically just because I like seeing my blorbos Suffer but I acknowledge that’s probably less likely lmao. At this point, I’m just going to be happy if they have a greater plan here that isn’t just “dump an unintroduced love interest on viewers near the end of the season” because again, I just don’t find that narratively satisfying.

but damn, if we aren’t building up a romance, what are we building?? I keep trying to figure it out! ;A;

#god the fucking trauma I have from comics fandom #I do not miss THOSE days #Carlie became a big thing near the end of my time in comics fandom but it's rare to see a fandom hate a love interest that much #like EVERYONE from all walks of life hated that character #and a lot of it was that every character loved her but they never showed why #the first pairing that comes to mind that won me over #a het one no less #was ben and leslie in parks and rec #I actually shipped Leslie really hard with Ann!#and when Ben came I was like Oh No #but damn if they didn't win me over despite my best efforts #so like... I am willing to be swayed!#but y'all are not swaying me!#why... aren't you trying to sway me...#now I'm suspicious #lmao #wwdits #wwdits s4 spoilers #I don't know how to tag this actually I don't think it's really a nandermo post

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orange-waterfalls · 3 years ago

Text

I Call This One: Bold & Brash!

The egos x artist! gn! reader

ty @pokemonpunqueen for the request!

A/N: I’ve decided that I’m gonna write for the egos when I can’t think of anything else or I need practice writing lmao. I mean I was doing that before? But I didn’t know it? listen it’s fine it’ll be fine but FOR NOW I thiiiink I’m gonna take requests. Just a few. I’ll stop when I think it gets too much. This is exactly what it says. I focused on like drawing/painting for “artist”, with some references to animation thrown in there. I did Darkiplier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Google, Eric, and a Host thrown in there bc I love him and I miss him

Word count is 1.5k

Enjoy

Egos x artist!reader

Darkiplier

He’ll want to commission art from you

He makes comments about how Mark is a narcissist but also he’s a narcissist.

Oh look, Dark’s asking you for another picture. What does he want? He wants you to draw him? Again? For the fifth time this fucking month? Wonderful.

He likes looking at how you make art of him, be it stylistic or realistic

He will hang them up all over the fucking house so pace yourself

He’s fine if you draw anybody else

Except Mark. Never Mark. How can he tell, you ask? No fucking clue, but he does

Gets a bit worried that you won’t make enough money to live comfortably

Just because not everyone needs a fucking MANSION-

Will always buy things for you if you ask

Likes to be able to support your job or hobby

Sugar daddy? I mean maybe

Makes sure you eat, sleep, drink water, survive--

Leaves snacks for you at your desk for when you don’t want a meal.

Carries you to bed if you fall asleep at a desk

Recommends you wear comfy clothes at all times so you can fall asleep wherever

A bit of an enabler, he’s doing his best tho

If you take commissions don’t be surprised if he threatens to kill someone when they don’t pay or are rude to you

He loves you, that’s all

Wilford

Fucking elated

Draw him!!! Please!!!! Please draw him!!!!! He has coin!!!!! He can pay!!!!!

Ecstatic if you actually draw him like he’ll giggle for an hour straight just looking

Secretly commissions more art from you

So also sugar daddy

It’s always something so obvious so you know it’s him anyways

He likes bright colors and eyestrain for some reason

If you make that, he just. Stares at it. Unblinking. You have to snap him out of it (im not projecting what do you mean)

Gets extremely worried about you not taking care of yourself

Gets someone to fucking babysit you when he’s gone so you take care of yourself

When you get greatly offended by this he settles for texting you reminders

And when you ignore those he texts more

Don’t be surprised if you get spammed by several people and an alarm starts to play from somewhere in the house

You’re gonna be healthy whether you like it or not, asshole

Drags you to bed aggressively

He WILL NOT drug your food with melatonin because that’s illegal. B U T-

He’s a little confused, but he got the spirit

Will advertise your art to anyone and everyone and also on his show and threatens the audience with a gun

AGAIN, a little confused. he just wuvs u so much

Yancy

I mean technically he’s kind of an artist too so he appreciates your skill and creativity

He’s very nosy and likes to look over your shoulder while you work

If you don’t like him doing that, he still does it, just more secretively

Likes to work in the same room as you.

That is if you don’t mind constant singing or tap dancing in the background

He shows off your art to anyone and everyone and gets mad if they don’t immediately say it’s fantastic

May or may not have stabbed someone over it, you’ll never know

If you show him something you’re working on, he’ll show you something he’s working on in return

The law of equivalent exchange

You tell him you can make MONEY from things like art and dancing and he goes apeshit he gets so fucking excited

If you’re like an animator and offer to animate his dancing he might actually cry

He’ll deny it constantly every day until he dies

If you make things traditionally he hangs them on the wall Everywhere

You might run out of room

By which i mean you will run out of room as soon as possible

Will never tell you a drawing is bad ever unless it’s like Really Bad which it never will be in his eyes

He loves anything and everything you do u are so precious

You have a permanent support system within the man

Google

Used to see art as pointless

Then comprehended the chemical release it causes in the brain and thought that was fine

Then saw you get really mad with something you were working on and got confused again?

If art no make good chemical, why art?

He still doesn’t understand, but that’s ok

You tried to get him to make something once

He just. Kinda. Made a buncha ones and zeroes

You still framed it and hung in on the wall and he got embarrassed

If he could blush, he would

If you draw him he looks like he doesn’t care but it’s at that point he decides he would die for you

Primary objective: answer questions as quickly as possible. Secondary objective: make u happy. Tertiary objective is to destroy mankind

If you draw bing that will disappear IMMEDIATELY you have BETRAYED him

If you ask for a color palette recommendation he Always says the google colors. Always.

You might’ve thought he was going for an rgby type of thing. But then you realize.

He is in charge of your financing. He will tell you the most efficient ways to make money as an artist and you follow then

He is also in charge of making sure you FUCKING EAT A MEAL

“But isn’t an objective to destroy mankind?” shut up he’s not happy about it either

Despite his best efforts he loves you and that ain’t gonna change

Illinois

Doesn’t fully understand

He needs to be outside at all times and cannot stay in one place

And you’re like??? Required to stay still???? For prolonged amounts of time????? Disgusting. Anyway, whatcha workin’ on?

He might ask you to try and teach him

If you do try he gives up almost immediately

Sometimes you just get so into it that you forget to do basic things and he gets upset

(i.e. eating, sleeping, living, etc.)

He gets worried about you

He is a hypocrite bc he does the same

He will drag you to bed, motherfucker

Honestly he might lock your shit somewhere until you fucking take care of yourself. it’s like a hostage situation god

“Where the fuck did you put it” “I have no clue what you mean. I might know if you eat your dinner, though”

Asshole (affectionate)

Sometimes you like make faces when you try to draw a person and it’s hilarious and cute to him

He looks at your drawings the moment you walk away but acts like he doesn’t care

He cares a lot

Will support you no matter what but will also tell you without hesitation if he thinks something looks shit

Listen he’s out of line but he’s right

Eric

Loves you a lot and will support anything and everything you choose to do or make

Drawing? Awesome! Painting? Wonderful! Animation? Superb!

He often wants to buy you supplies or something but he does not know what anything is

Fuck is a chalk pencil???? What are gel pens vs normal pens?????? Watercolor????? What the fuck are you saying??????????

Will subtly drop hints that you could,,,, draw him,,,,, maybe,,,,, if u wanna

And by subtly I mean he starts to ask and then starts crying

If you draw him he will cry again he loves u so much

If he ever were to get a tattoo it’d be something u drew. Nothing else is as important to him at the moment

He enjoys photography and film, and likes to try and bond with you over artistic things

I mean. Some things overlap.

You could talk about a single drawing for hours and he’d listen intently the whole time

Don’t ask him for feedback, it’s always some version of “it’s perfect and I love you”

Even if he hates it

Which,,,,, he might hate it sometimes

He’s not a good reviewer. 2/10, very biased

He likes to take photos when you’re in the zone

If you tell him to delete them he will

While secretly making one his home screen

Host

Hey, he gets it

He writes, he understands the hyperfocus

Sometimes he wouldn’t move from his chair for a day because he was busy writing a script

That being said, you probably have to be the one to get him to take care of himself

Or you have to take turns

Otherwise you’re both gonna fucking die

He asks you to describe your art to him and tries to picture it.

He’ll tell you if he thinks it probably looks good or bad

You shouldn’t take it to heart because he can’t see it

He is a bastard sometimes

“Well, what do you think?” “I think it looks fantastic” “Thanks, babe” “...” “... you think you’re fucking funny, don’t you”

He asks if you can draw him sometimes

No, he won’t see it, but he’ll appreciate the sentiment if you do

He will ask for your opinion on his scripts sometimes

If you say it’s bad he gets really defensive

You work in the same room a lot of the time and forget the other is there

One of you has to preemptively order food or like set a timer so you can goddamn Survive

You’ll be fine

#markiplier egos x reader #darkiplier x reader #wilford warfstache x reader #yancy x reader #illinois x reader #googleplier x reader #eric derekson x reader #eric derickson x reader #x gn reader #x gender neutral reader #darkiplier x gn reader #wilford x reader #wilford warfstache x gn reader #yancy x gn reader #illinois x gn reader #googleplier x gn reader #eric derekson x gn reader #i'll be honest i only thought about this bc i saw mark's fucking VIDEO on tiktok and got kind of excited

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heroin-antiheroine · 2 years ago

Note

So I've smoked heroin and I use fentynal also blues and other opiates but I've fully already made up my mind about wanting to start shooting up heroin also. I understand the risks and all that and it's been hard to find anyone willing to kinda give me tips on what to expect and how to cook it and safety tips while slamming it. Do you have any advice and any methods or tips you'd recommend (other then not slamming it ) please

sure, i have no desire to talk anyone out of slamming bc i'd be a hypocrite anyway. your mind's made up, may as well do it safely. this is gonna be long btw, i have a lot of advice & harm reduction is something i'm passionate about. sorry if this is a bit late btw. i don’t check tumblr mega often. but i reckon it will help someone even if you found advice elsewhere.

list of things you need to bang up: gear (obv lol), sterile needles (you can get completes or detachables), sterile spoons, alcohol swabs, filters or cotton, citric acid/vit c if you’re using european/no.3 heroin (& i think black tar, however it would be best to ask someone who uses that), clean water (cold tap water is fine. they say boiled & cooled is the best but i just use clean cold tap water. bottled water is less good), a lighter (to cook), paper towel (to press on the wound after injecting), a plaster (to cover the wound).

here are some extra things that i use: milligram scales (so i can ensure a safe dosage every time), magazine (to use as a clean surface), hand sanitiser (washing your hands is best but you may be unable to do that), clean scissors (to cut the filter, don’t rip them), a mini portable heater (heat brings out your veins), another glass of water (to drink to bring out your veins. i drink out of a pink cup & use a blue cap to bang up with, so i don’t confuse them), a pack of sweets (sometimes you need to eat sugar to get a hit lol).

just a disclaimer: i’m english so i get european/no.3 heroin. this differs to american ecp/no.4 in that you have to cook it with citric acid/vit c. here are my step by step instructions to banging up: get clean water in both cups, weigh out my portion of heroin in a sterile spoon, unwrap a sterile needle, use that to get 3 units of water from the cup, pour into the spoon. then i add the vit c & cook it until it’s mostly dissolved with some brown bits floating on top (those brown bits are the cuts. the gear normally looks like piss lol). if you’re using ecp you won’t need to cook it. you will with tar though (edit: not necessarily actually, see the comments on this post). then get a filter, cut it widthways or don’t at all. i dunk mine in water to preserve as much gear as possible (otherwise it just eats it). drop it in the spoon, then use a needle to suck it up through the top.

then you’re ready to bang up. i sit in front of a heater & drink the pink cup water to make my veins pop out. you can find a vein by pressing lightly on your skin. they feel kinda springy. since you’re a new user, you’ll probably be able to see some. don’t slap it, that can make it retract. i use my nails as a marker to know where to inject (like stabbing myself with my nail either side of the vein). you’re supposed to insert the needle at ~30 degree angle. you probably won’t know what that looks like, i don’t, but i have this trick for finding it. position the needle at a 90 degree angle perpendicular to your vein. then halve it by moving the needle down. now you have a 45 degree angle. now you need to take a 3rd off & then you’ll have ~30 degree angle. this doesn’t always work but it’s certainly very helpful.

insert the needle FACING TOWARDS the heart. this is always the case unless you’re banging up in your neck or something, which i highly do not advise. for your arms, legs etc, the needle should be facing upward. i have never banged up in my shoulders etc & i wouldn’t. your arms will be fine for now. you want to learn how to hold the needle with one hand & become ambidextrous with it. i might include a pic after this with me holding it. i basically pinch my thumb & ring fingers together around the syringe. i use my index & middle fingers to hold the plunger & pull back then my index finger to press down. i use my little finger to stabilise the syringe.

when i’m injecting in my feet/legs etc, i still only use 1 hand. i have seen people use both...i have no idea why. it just gets messy. you want to be an anchor. you want to insert the needle slowly & then after injecting, pull it out extremely slowly at exactly the same angle you inserted it. otherwise you will bruise. i use my right hand to inject in my feet & my left hand to pull the skin to stabilise the vein. then after i inject anywhere, i immediately grab paper towel & press down hard on the wound for multiple minutes. then i cover it with a plaster.

i’m not sure if you’re female like me, but it can be hard to get a vein. women naturally have more fat & different types of fat than men. my arms are pretty thin but i still have fat in certain areas & it means the veins can roll. i often get around this by pressing my arms into my legs to hold them in place. some areas (like the backs of your arms) are extremely difficult to get & i don’t recommend them at first (i still struggle after 5 years of daily banging up). if you have a friend or partner that uses, you can ask them to hold the skin in place. don’t let them bang up for you though...their technique could be dangerous or harmful. & also, if you always let them do it & you get addicted, they might be out & you won’t be able to get well. you should learn to do it yourself in a safe way if you’re gonna do it.

avoiding arteries: once again, this can depend on body type. they say the arteries are much deeper, but i can see them on my skin. they can really catch you out. i’m not gonna tell you about different types/colours of blood bc it can vary by person & by vein/artery. however what i notice about arteries is the blood shoots up the side of the needle extremely fast. if you try injecting, you’ll feel a bit of pressure. this is telling you to stop. if you still continue, you’ll most likely feel an awful electric saw style pain. it is like a shock to the system. if you feel this, immediately take the needle out & press down with paper towel on the site. it should be fine, but if it doesn’t stop bleeding, seek medical attention. HOWEVER not all arteries are painful. i have made this mistake. 2 of mine on each forearm are not. this just means no matter where you are, inject slowly. you will feel the gear. if you do not, you’ll see the site start to blister. hopefully this can save you a trip to a&e.

missing: sometimes you’ll slip out of a vein & you’ll miss. you’ll feel pain, it’ll be a sort of blunt pain not like an electric saw. pull back again...oh woops you’re out. DON’T dig around trying to find it again. that can rly hurt your veins. just pull back & try somewhere else. if you get it again on the way back, you can try again. just don’t dig. if you miss, you might see a lump under your skin. if you’re only using gear, not crack/coke, you’ll be fine. put a plaster & hot compress on it. take care of it & use a medicated cream. if you’re snow/speedballing, you’re at risk of an abcess. i can’t help you too much there bc i’ve never snowballed.

using with someone else: you should have separate everything! do not share water, spoons, filters, swabs, definitely not needles. colour coded needles are very useful but if your needle exchange doesn’t do them, then you can mark them with pen or sit in different areas of the room. sit in the same room/area just so you can be ready with naloxone if you need it. naloxone should be given out through any needle exchange. you can get injection ones & nasal spray ones. they have instructions with them & you should go through a small training thing in order to use it.

finally, needle gauges. i use 29g all over. it’s the smallest complete they offer. this is bc i have small veins. men may use 27g, which is a slightly larger gauge (the numbers go backwards). at our needle exchange, they don’t make detachables smaller than 27g. so i don’t use detachables. you’ll wanna go with 27 or 29 for arm veins, or 29 or 30/31 (if they do them) for hands & feet. apparently you should use a different longer needle for your femoral vein. i do not use it so i can’t tell you which one it is & i highly recommend not using your femoral. i’ve known people that have lost legs from hitting the artery there.

be safe, be clean, be careful. it’s kinda my motto. i’ve been banging up for 5 years, never had an abcess, infection or overdose (touch wood lol). do it yourself so you can do it right. & just don’t be an idiot & bang up with flavoured water or crack rocks that have been in gauze or use lemon juice instead of vit c (can make you go blind) or share needles. these are all things ppl i know do. i feel like you have to go out of your way to be unsafe. but i feel for you if you don’t have a good needle exchange near you. i would advise not banging up at all if this is the case.

#i think i've got everything? this is rly long lol. i may edit if i think of other things #harm reduction #slamming advice #junkie ramblings

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