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dennou-translations · 4 years ago

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Violet Evergarden Ever After: Chapter 3

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No one would imagine that a single drop could be the start of something so big. However, it would earn itself great meaning after a while passed. Should it continue pouring, it could also summon boundless blessings and curses.

Love was almost like rain.

The Journey and the Auto-Memories Doll

That one was a rain of betrayal.

It started with a calm morning, the sky unfolding without any hints of being enshrouded in dark clouds. Regardless, it did not take too long for the capricious rain brought by the heavens to turn into a downpour rarely seen in recent years.

There was no longer any sign of the rain that had started to fall like gentle kisses from paradise on the black hats of gentlemen walking around town, over the backs of cats dozing under the sun or onto the cheeks of children who opened their mouths and burst into laughter. The current season was the end of summer, and it was raining for the first in a long while in Leidenschaftlich, where the skies were constantly clear in summer, but had the god that controlled weather gone crazy? With time, as if a bucket had turned over, the city was hit by a flood.

This story is about an uneventful day, which did nothing but pass, in the lives of people who worked at a certain postal company.

The rain and wind struck the entire building as if attacking it. The doorbell rang loudly because of this, a man standing in place and staring at it with unease.

Creak-creak, the door moved. Ring-ring, the bell resounded. Since it was ringing despite there being no customers, he had become concerned and found himself coming down from his residence in the top floor.

In the previous year, the building had been shot with rocket artillery, and not only had it earned an enormous hole but a fire had also occurred – however, thanks to the quick skills of workmen, the hole was now closed and the walls had been neatly rebuilt.

The man was a stylish redhead. He was the president of this company, which he had named after himself.

Claudia Hodgins had been left all alone in the empty postal office. Still, it was normal for him to be there, as it was both his home and workplace. However, since he was by himself at a time that would usually still be within business hours, no matter what, he looked like he had been abandoned.

The postal office had been in great turmoil because of the storm. Surely, so had its peers. With the deliveries stagnated, complaints were coming from the clients. Nevertheless, the transportation was not carried out by machines devoid of feelings. It was something done by humans, who had been given birth to by someone and who had families waiting for them when they returned home. In lieu of the unpreceded disaster, as the president, he had notified all employees that business would be closed for today.

To begin with, the customers had stopped coming in the middle of the day. If he had to say so himself, this might be the expected. Deliberately going outside amidst such strong wind and torrential rain was an act of sheer madness.

Curious about what was going on outside, Hodgins had approached the entrance from the side. He felt like attempting to open the large doors just a little. He wanted to see how inundated the ground was. Just when he slow and carefully reached a hand towards it, the door opened with force despite him not doing anything.

“Ow...!”

“Oh, my bad. More importantly, we’re screwed; it’s just impossible, Old Man!”

Hodgins was teary-eyed as his precious nose took a hit. He was lightheaded for an instant due to the pain, but soon regained consciousness. After all, one of his employees had come back dripping-wet. Hodgins pulled him – whole body wrapped in rain gear – by the arm, bringing him inside and closing the door. Although it was only open for a few seconds, the entrance was already drenched.

The visitor took off the hood over his head, allowing his face to be seen. He was a splendidly handsome and fine man of sky-blue eyes and sandy-blond hair.

“Benedict...!”

Benedict Blue. One of the postal company’s postmen, who had been working in it ever since its founding.

“It’s impossible – actually, it’s absurd! Working under this rain is absurd! I look like I’m in the bath already. I wouldn’t have come here if I weren’t soaked... Making the staff pull out was the right choice,” Benedict said as if angry-yelling, shaking his head in the same way that a dog or cat would and splattering water splashes at Hodgins.

This wetted most of Hodgins’s shirt and face, but he was unable to reprimand his employee, who had been doing strenuous effort. He accepted it in resignation, wiping Benedict’s face with the sleeve of his shirt. “Okay, stay put.”

“Uoh, what’s with you? Stop.”

“Welcome home. I was worried. Good thing you’re all right.”

“O-Oh. What, hum... I’m back... You were worried about me?”

“Of course,” Hodgins said, to which Benedict turned away with an obviously embarrassed attitude after a moment of bewilderment.

Outside, vases and planters that may have been at the eaves of people’s houses, as well as shop signs, had been turning into weapons for a while now, dancing around the city along with the wind. Managing to come back unharmed and safely amidst this weather, where one could not know what would come flying their way, was something to be happy about.

“I’m just fine. This job’s easier than running around shooting guns. Anyway, I was left with the letters and packages of a guy who fell from his motorcycle and came back by myself. Was best to do that, right?”

“Aah, so someone got hurt?”

“That newbie, Clark. But he only scrapped his knees. He fell lots of times when he was learning how to ride, but for real, it’s surprisingly depressing when you fall off other than during practice. He was crying, y’see.”

“Aah~.”

Knowing who the person in question was, Hodgins pitied him. He was the youngest postman to join the company as of late. It was difficult to find human resources for postmen as they were quick to quit.

“He’s young, after all...”

“You call him young but... he’s already a grown man. I wonder if he ain’t lying to us about his age... I thought he was a baby or something.”

“You can’t compare him to a city boy fresh from the battlefield like yourself. I’m gonna get you a towel and a change of clothes now, so don’t move from there.”

“Why?”

“You’d wet the floor. Don’t tell me to go around cleaning up where you walked.”

“Clean it up,” he said while laughing, to which Hodgins’s shoulders slumped. He was a reliable companion, but also a young man who knew not how to show respect for his elders.

——Well, guess I’m a so-called doting parent for thinking that’s cute – no, doting boss.

Anyhow, they needed towels, Hodgins thought as he went back to his room. He grabbed a few large towels and held a pair of trousers and shirt that Benedict would apparently fit into under his arm. Then returned to the ground floor. By the time he did so, the number of people had increased.

“Uwah... Amazing, it’s like squeezing a rag.”

There were three more other than Benedict. If they were to be separated by types, one of them had evacuated after receiving a report of work, one had evacuated after finishing work, and one had been ordered to clock out, but all had come back halfway through, as their bodies were about to be blown off by the overwhelming storm.

“Please stop.” There was Violet Evergarden, whose golden hair was in Benedict’s grasp.

“Why? You said your hair was wet.”

“You just want to touch Violet’s hair, Benedict. Isn’t that right?” Lux Sibyl, who had given up on wiping her glasses and was glaring at the empty space.

“That’s not it. Don’t say weird stuff, Lux.”

“You knooow, my hair’s just as long as Violet’s.” And Cattleya Baudelaire, who scowled at Benedict with her arms crossed.

The members who had been there ever since the founding were Violet, Cattleya and Benedict, but Lux, having joined midway, was now a skillful secretary who covered up the schedule of the employees and president and moved them around like chess pieces. As the four people whose ages were close to each other’s came together, the conversation naturally livened up.

“You—You’re that kinda thing. If I touch you in a place like this, it’d be that kinda thing. This is our workplace, so there’s all that kinda thing. Morally speaking, it’s that kinda thing.”

“What do you mean ‘morally speaking’?!”

“I wish you wouldn’t say those things even if you think about them. Right, Violet?”

“‘Public morals’...? Benedict, what am I from your point of view?”

“V, you’re like a little sister to me... Aah, Old Man, gimme another towel.”

It was a terribly joyful thing that the company’s young aces had returned to it safe and sound.

“Everyone, don’t move from that spot no matter what. Hey, Cattleya! Don’t move!”

However, wiping all the water off the bodies of those four turned out to be a bone-breaking work.

Out of kindness, Hodgins invited the four people who had gathered up at the postal company to his residence in the top floor.

The whole floor was his apartment, thus it was quite large. A family of five could live comfortably in it. The furnishings were arranged in wooden items and serene shades of dark brown and green. It was a relaxed, adult atmosphere, where was nothing particularly funny. It had a faint scent of the perfume that Hodgins always wore.

The invited four let out sighs of relief. The biggest reason for it, although there was also the fact that this was Hodgins’s apartment, was that they were able to escape the horrible situation outdoors. With the exception of Lux, three of them were tough enough to take part in the act of physically crushing other postal companies, but human beings could not win against natural disasters.

“Hey, what do we do? We can’t go home anymore, can we?”

“There’s nothing we can do. We got no choice but stay in Old Man’s place.”

“First time something like this happens, huh. But we’re all together, so... might be imprudent of me to say this, but... it’s a bit fun. Violet, are you worried about your home?”

“Yes, about the flowerbeds.”

“You should say ‘about the people back home’, V.”

“The two went on a trip, so they are away. I promised that I would take care of the flowers in their absence, which is why... I am worried about the flowerbeds. Besides, if that house were to be destroyed by this storm, this place would meet its end much sooner... We have little time left to live.”

“Don’t go from talking about your family to destroying the company, Little Violet. Hey, hey, everyone, you’ll catch a cold so get changed first. Put the towels in the laundry basket. Benedict, don’t throw the towels wherever!”

As told by Hodgins, the employees firstly decided to change their clothes.

Violet and Cattleya had just returned from a work trip of two days and one night, thus they had a change of nightclothes in their bags, but Benedict and Lux did not. Although there was a height difference between them, Hodgins had no issues with lending clothes to Benedict, who was also a man, but there was a need for careful selection when it came to Lux.

“Shirt... shirt, shirt; all I have is shirts.”

“Hum, President, I’m fine with anything.”

“Eeh... that okay?”

As a result, the boy and girl came into the scene wearing baggy clothes. Benedict looked almost the same as when he and Hodgins first met. When he was left to chance completely naked in a desert, he had borrowed a shirt and trousers just as he was doing now. He seemed pleased with it, however...

“Feels kinda naughty...”

...the problem was Lux.

“Benedict’s fine, but maybe it won’t do for Little Lux? Is this okay?” Hodgins asked everyone with a meek face.

They all had at last settled down, each seated in a place of their preference while sipping tea. The employees were relaxing as if they were in their own homes. Contrary to the peaceful state of the situation inside, there was still a sound of rain hitting the windows and a troubled noise of something colliding against the building outside.

“What is ‘okay’ supposed to mean?” Sitting on the sofa, Violet tilted her head. Being comfortably dressed in a dusty-pink nightwear gave her usually disciplined self a slightly soft and gentle air.

“Little Violet.”

“Yes.”

“Your nightgown is cute, huh.”

“The people from the household bought it for me. Well, what is ‘okay’ supposed to mean? Was there any problem?”

“Little Lux’s clothes.”

For whatever reason, they had the person in question standing in the center of the room. With everyone’s eyes on her, she seemed uneasy.

“Hum... why do I have to stand in the middle?”

“Little Lux, stay like that and don’t move.”

“All right.”

“What is wrong with Lux’s look? You mean to say it lacks adornment?”

“Why would that be the case, Little Violet?”

“You are the one who chooses attires for us Dolls and you have particularities regarding the clothing and accessories, so I concluded that you might deem the plain shirt as not enough.”

“No, no.” Hodgins flailed both hands. The things he was saying had a moral value to them, out of fear that her outfit was perhaps vulgar.

Benedict had dealt with it by securing her trousers with a belt, but as Lux had too thin a waist, the outcome was the belt falling off. In short, she was not wearing pants. Inevitably, she was dressed in nothing but a shirt. However, her short stature fortunately made it look like a shirt-dress.

As Hodgins explained his concern, everyone said, “I see.”

Showered with their stares more and more, Lux began to blush.

“It gives off a dangerous feeling when you think she ain’t wearing any, but on second thought, isn’t that the same for skirts? There’s actually an open hole in them, but it’s not visible, so they’re classified as clothes. No big deal, is it?” Benedict had been standing with his back against the wall just a moment ago, yet had suddenly drawn close to her and started examining her fixatedly.

“Don’t say ‘not wearing any’!”

“Well, I mean, you really ain’t wearing any... but that’s okay. No biggie. You’re probably not an option for Old Man, so no worries. Right?”

“That’s rude!”

“I’m saying you don’t need to worry about that kinda thing... Should I take mine off, then? I see; I’m fine with it. I’ll be the same as you. That all right? I’m gonna take it off.”

“Stop, stop, stop!” As Benedict put a hand to his belt while laughing, Lux repeatedly hit his chest with her fists to stop him. Lux was red up to her ears. “I can’t take this anymore! Violet! Take Benedict to over there!”

“Understood.”

“Owowowow, V, ouch, that’s not it; it was the Old Man who said weird stuff first. We’re friends, so I was showing that she doesn’t have to get hung up over something like...”

Caught in Violet’s arms, Benedict obediently sat on the sofa. Perhaps in order not to allow him to escape, she gripped his hands and sat next to him.

Cattleya cut through the silence, “The tea is delicious.” She was scattered over the bed. She must have been tired from returning from the Doll business trip. Her eyes were downcast. She might be sleepy.

“Cattleya, do you not have any comments to make? I want to hear lots of opinions.”

“Eeeh, me?” Cattleya joined the needless debate as if it were a bother. “Hmmm... if someone were making her wear this because it’s their taste, it’d be gross indeed, but there’s no other clothes for her... It’d also be horrible to leave her with just a towel wrap, so I think it’s valid. Speaking of which, President...”

“Hm?”

“You’re saying that even though you pick open-chested clothes for my Doll outfits? And the times you were choosing Doll attires for me, y’knooow, you were never so considerate to say ‘not this, not this either’ when discussing it with the people from the made-to-order store...”

Her manner of speech was somewhat thorny, but Hodgins did not make much out of it. “That’s because they look good on you.” Rather, he said decisively, with an earnest gaze and excessive confidence, “Because they look good on you. Is my judgement wrong?”

“E-Eh?” Being replied to so unapologetically, Cattleya’s reasoning jumbled up, to the point she found herself wondering if she was the one in the wrong.

The Doll outfit that Cattleya usually wore was composed mainly of a crimson dress-coat, so there was no mistaking that one could not wear it unless the person was remarkably stylish. In addition, there was also no doubt that it was lascivious. Whoever looked at her would find their line of sight momentarily going to her chest. Still, whoever looked at her would remember the woman named Cattleya Baudelaire at once.

“No... it’s not like your choices are wrong... but I only forgive you because you’re the boss. I was shocked when you first showed me that outfit! I didn’t use to wear something like that before.”

“Well, but y’see, an hourglass-shaped person looks more slender when the area around their collarbone is exposed, and it’s pretty.”

An evident question mark floated above Violet’s head at the unfamiliar word. Benedict pointed a finger at the tea set arranged on the nearby table. An hourglass used to measure the time it took to steam the tealeaves was lying there. Perhaps finding the similarity between it and a plump chest and dainty hips, Violet nodded as if convinced.

“You’ve got an hourglass-shaped figure with that slim waist, so I gave you a coat-dress that puts this on display. You can adjust it with the ribbon, so it’s not a pain, right? It has a wonderful line in mathematical terms, y’know? Plus, you also have a cheerful character, so it doesn’t look vulgar. That’s important. It means that outfit takes into consideration even the personality of the one wearing it. And the owner of that made-to-order store is famous not just in this country but abroad. The outfits of our Dolls are on a whole different level in comparison to other companies, aren’t they?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“I don’t want to bring this up, but they’re very expensive.”

“Eh, I’m sorry. S-Should I pay you back? Either that or you can dock my salary...”

“No, you’re my Doll, after all. Nobody waters a flower to get money off it, right? It’s fine, Cattleya. Just stay pretty. It’s exactly because I have obsessions over clothes that I don’t want to make a girl look vulgar. And it’s exactly because I like girls that I want to have them shine wonderfully. That’s also why I have a few complaints about Little Lux’s usual plain clothes, though...”

“I don’t know why you decided to run a mail service, President, but I accept that passion of yours. I’ll wear those clothes with care. But, President, I’m doing my best, so I want a new outfit. A cute one.”

Listening to the conversation of the two in silence, perhaps tired of going along with her superior, Lux looked at Violet and Benedict’s direction with a gaze that quietly asked for help. There was a gap on the sofa that seemed enough for one person to sit. Having locked eyes with her, Violet told Benedict to scoot over after a brief moment and patted the open spot. Lux sat next to them, looking happy.

“Violet, what’re you drinking?” Lux peeked at the teacup that Violet was holding.

“I wonder. I took the tealeaves that were in the kitchen. I do not know what type of tea it is.”

“Darjeeling.”

“Benedict, how did you know?”

“‘Cause that guy likes Darjeeling. All the tea cans he has are nothing but that.”

“Guess I’m gonna drink that too; my body got cold from the long time under the rain.”

“Heeey, the three of you who ended the talk before we noticed! Listen to what I have to say.” Hodgins put his hands on his hips, pretending to be angry.

“We were deviating from the main subject. We deemed that it was not a necessary conversation and took action prioritizing Lux’s rest,” Violet expressed with a clear voice tone.

“Besides, this talk’s about bedroom wear, ain’t it?” Benedict added a two-fold retort. The blond, blue-eyed duo that looked like siblings stared at Hodgins with questioning eyes.

“Ugh, I comply with you two no matter what you say when you both look at me at the same time, so cut it out. But I’m not giving up. I think she needs one more article of clothing.”

“Hum... President, I’m okay with this. I’m already thankful that I could borrow your clothes. Besides, when you make such a big fuss about it, things that weren’t lewd in the first place start to seem lewd, so to say,” Lux said, wanting to end this topic as fast as possible.

“The solution has come to me. Wouldn’t it be best if I took the shirt and trousers and had Lux wear this nightgown?”

However, Violet wound up rewinding it.

——Violet!

Lux hit Violet repeatedly in her mind.

“Ah~, that’s right. If that’s the case, I can do it too. But maybe my nightgown is too big? It’s a negligee just like Violet’s. The shoulder length might be the problem for this one...”

“Old Man, you gonna die if you don’t obsess over the stuff we wear? You ain’t. Give up.”

“No way. Days like this one don’t come by. All five of us are trapped in the company and we can’t get out. You’ve got no choice but stay here in my house, right? We’re having the best of parties, a pajama party. I want it to be a good one. But I can’t enjoy it when I’m worrying over Little Lux’s clothes.”

Benedict contemplated a reply to Hodgins’s words for a few seconds, but soon stopped. He was probably tired. He looked Violet’s way and asked, “Hey, you not hungry? I’m gonna take a look at the kitchen.

“Hey, don’t ignore me.” As Benedict stood up, Hodgins chased after him.

“Benedict’s gonna make something? Yay! You guys probably don’t know this, but he’s good at cooking.” Cattleya lined up behind them.

“I didn’t say I was gonna make anything, though... Well, if you’re hungry, I can do it.”

“I shall assist you.” Violet raised her arms, rolling up her sleeves. Her prosthetics made a creaking noise.

“V, you can cook?”

“To some extent. In the military, I used to make preparations for the cooking. Mrs. Evergarden... Lady Tiffany also trained me on it.

“M-Me too... I can peel the potatoes, and stuff.” Lux hastily went after everyone. In a trail, a big move to the kitchen began to take place.

“Lux. You don’t usually cook, do you? I can already tell by just that statement. I’ll teach you.”

“Most things get solved just by peeling the potatoes... Benedict, you’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”

“Am not, Potato Demigod.”

“Violet, Benedict insulted me!”

“Benedict.”

“Owowow! V—! Don’t poke my sides! A hit from those crazy-ass prosthetics of yours ain’t no cutesy way to poke anyone! It just hurts like it normally would!”

In the end, Hodgins was able to find a light feather-print sweater in his closet and gave it to Lux. As she put it on, with her short stature, its length became the same as that of a long cardigan, which Hodgins was awfully pleased with for how adorable it was.

The madder-red sky was not visible at dusk, the outside morphing into evening with no changes in the rainy weather.

Benedict made a soup at random with the vegetables available in Hodgins’s kitchen, which had seasonings in abundance, while Violet and Cattleya supplied it with cookies that they had brought back as souvenirs from their ghostwriting business trip. Lux brought over small candy marbles that she kept stored in her desk at the company, and Benedict, instructed by Hodgins, reluctantly took an expensive bottle hidden on the liquor shelf of the latter’s room.

“Hey, let’s rummage through the desks of everyone in the company. There are probably gonna be other ingredients in them.”

“If it’s Mr. Anthony’s desk, I think there’s definitely something in it. Mr. Anthony always gives me sweets... We’re in a state of emergency so I’m sure he’ll forgive us for it.”

“There were sweets in the reception guys’ desks. Would they get mad if we took them?”

“Definitely seem like they would. But this sweet... is one of the tasty ones... I wanna eat it.”

Lux, who was still growing, and Benedict, who had missed lunch and did not have enough with just the vegetable soup, procured more food. The sweets that the hungry thieves sneaked from the company employees’ desks turned out as what could be considered a big catch, and so, the five people trapped inside during a day of usual rain commenced a night party.

The five of different ages, genders and positions were already at a state where they could be deemed as a single family through the many incidents they had overcome and the time they had spent together. They laughed a lot, talked a lot.

“You remember when Violet brought Lux over? She went to negotiate it directly with Old Man with so much might, like, ‘I have picked up a puppy. Please give me permission to raise it here. Now, hurry’. They were holding hands and she wouldn’t let go of Lux, explaining the situation all at length as if to say she wasn’t gonna move until he gave the permission. The way Old Man acted so suspicious back then was a real blast.”

“I remember~! He was like, ‘Eh, “demigod”? Eh, “abduction and confinement”? Have you told the military police about that?’... President was so troubled, walking in circles around the two. It was the funniest thing of that year.”

“Hum... I’m sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize, Little Lux. You’re our main player now, so you did what you could to get where you are. You really exerted yourself in this unfamiliar land. Work for us forever, ‘kay? Rather, for me. Little Violet does some unbelievable stuff sometimes, but she generally doesn’t do anything wrong, so back then, her first-time deed shook up even someone like me, with plenty of life experience. Saying no didn’t even cross my mind.”

“I knew that President Hodgins would give you a generous treatment. If I had not concluded so, I would not have done such a thing. Thank you very much for that time, President.”

“Little Violet... Little Violet’s all grown up too, huh; you’ve become a wonderful lady...”

“Well, she’s got you as her example of guardian figure, after all.”

“I was raised by both Benedict and President Hodgins. You are my examples.”

“Eh, so I’m Old Man’s son...? Gimme the whole company.”

“No way! Actually, you’re taking a part of the company in the future, so that much should be fine, right?”

“You were serious about that? If you split the company...”

“Yeah, I’ll be the vice-president. V, call me Vice-President Benedict.”

“Benedict will be... the vice-president?”

“Violet, you haven’t been to the company too often because of work, right? I’ll stay as President Hodgins’s secretary, but some of the employees will go to Benedict’s side. That’s gonna be pretty lonely... Still, the company will be built inside the country, so it’ll be close in terms of distance. But it won’t be the same building anymore.”

“Other people... will also be gone.”

“Did I tell you that my role’s gonna change too?”

“I have not heard about that.”

“I’ll be transferred to training the newcomers. Violet, you’ll stay as you are. Well, between you and me, if we were to debate on which one should be the instructor, it’d have to be me. I’m good at looking after others.”

“Cattleya will be... an instructor...”

“I’ll be here like always. The Doll department that Little Violet and the others are in will stay in the main office and you’re largely in charge of the numbers in our Doll department, so your role won’t change.”

“Sounds like I don’t make money when you put it like that.”

“No, it’s not like that... I’ve been keeping the right people in the right places since long ago, right? I asked you to do this because I thought you could be everyone’s big sis. Besides, wasn’t it you, Cattleya, who immediately replied that you’d to it when I said your pay would increase if you became an instructor?”

“Well, that’s because I don’t know how long I could keep on being a Doll. It’s a job you can do even when you get older, but walking up mountains has been hard lately. Probably because of my high heels.”

They truly laughed a lot and talked a lot.

In their feel-at-home looks, they played card games, discussed memories of their trips and laughed holding their stomachs at silly stories. The night went on and on and the heavy rain outside gradually subsided, but no one said, “Let’s go home, then”. Days like these were a rarity. They all knew this much.

“I’m having lots of fun today. It’d be great if it were always like this.” The words that Cattleya muttered with a big smile spoke for everyone’s feelings.

Whenever a fun feast reached its climax, the loneliness towards the fact that it was going to end would cross the corners of people’s heads. That applied not only to this day that God had granted them but also to matters in the long run.

Perhaps the company named CH Postal Company itself could also be considered a feast to the people gathered in it. “May this dream, this fun time go on forever,” they wished.

The dream had begun with Claudia Hodgins. He then picked up Cattleya Baudelaire, Benedict Blue and Violet Evergarden.

“Make sure to just lick it. So, how’s that?”

They had built the company office building in Leidenschaftlich and started it together. As the postal business was a privatized one and the competitors were many, nobody could predict at first for how long this company would continue to exist.

“This stings.”

A local customer then came, earning them a large-scale contract in the delivery business.

“Eh~, you okay, Violet? You’re better off as someone who can’t drink...”

Their Auto-Memories Doll activities began to stand out.

“But everyone is changing.”

“Doesn’t that have nothing to do with drinking alcohol? I drink ‘cause I like it. If you don’t, then stop.”

“That’s right, Violet.”

“No... Major has a taste for drinking during meals, so I had been thinking of learning to do it one day as well. You are all changing one after another whenever I blink. I have started eating with other people quite often at work as well. I, too, shall adapt...”

Along the way, a girl who would later become a brilliant secretary joined them.

“I see... Then I want to try drinking too. I’m a secretary, after all. I have to eat out with other people. What kind of taste is it, if you had to compare?”

Despite the major changes in the personal life of each, all of them had contributed to the development of the company, to the point that they spent every single day being busy.

“Close to that of a perfume. In that it is hard to swallow.”

There would surely be many, many more changes.

“Hey, I can’t approve that opinion. Big Sis here will introduce you to delicious drinks. Rather than being taught by a man, you should learn from me. Lux, you can’t yet.”

Surely, their fates would twist further.

“Eh~?!”

“Benedict, bring another one. And something to crack it open with.”

For people to gather up, an encounter had to have happened. That was what it meant.

“Aight, aight...” Benedict stood up from the sofa. He had been dragged into Cattleya’s scheme, in which she had planned the conspiracy of attempting to make Violet Evergarden consume alcohol, because he himself had complied with it.

“O-Owah. Old Man. You were here?”

“‘Were here,’ you ask... this is my house.”

As they came across each other in the kitchen, Benedict had let out a brash voice without thinking. The reason might be that he perhaps was seen grinning as he walked in. Despite his nihilistic attitude, he was happy to spend time with his friends.

“I-I know. I was thinking you were taking too long in the toilet...”

“Cigar.”

With the kitchen’s small window open, Hodgins was smoking a cigar. All of the women despised the smell, so he rarely ever let them see him smoking. Just when Benedict was thinking about how he had suddenly stood up and disappeared, there he was, smoking in secret.

——He only smokes when he can’t calm down, though.

There was no better day to relax with their companions, and yet.

“Hey, take a look outside. It’s so quiet after the storm... like the wind. Even though it was so loud before.” Perhaps due to him being a little drunk, Hodgins’s face was red.

“True... Hey, need more booze. Ain’t there anything easier to drink?”

“Eh, why? You can’t give it to Little Lux.”

“Cattleya wants to make V drink some. Well, ain’t it okay? I think it’s about time she learns the ropes. Dunno when we’ll get to drink with her again... and it’s better to have people you get along with teaching you this kinda thing, right?”

“Eeh... it’s still too soon. If you insist, isn’t it enough to drip a drop of rum into her tea?”

“Can you even call that a drink? Make it a degree higher.”

Hodgins gave a strained smile. “Hey, hey, her big brother figure shouldn’t be saying this...”

“I say it because I’m her big brother figure. I mean, we’re getting more rookies. She’s the highlight of our Doll department. Eating with people is part of having a big job. Before she gets involved with someone who wants to make her drink...”

“Does this have anything to do with me telling you to be the branch manager?”

Hearing a slightly icy voice coming from the president, Benedict blinked. “No... sorta.”

“She’s still a child, and I’ll definitely always be with her in those kinds of places, so it’s okay. It’s still early to teach her how to drink. Nope, nope.”

“A ‘child’, you say... well, she’s got a childish side, but she ain’t one anymore.”

“She is – you, Cattleya and Little Lux, too, are all kids to me. Because you’re quick to do this kind of thing if I don’t keep an eye on you... My, my,” Hodgins said, blowing out the tobacco smoke. Mismatched as it was for someone with such a mature appearance, Benedict could get a glimpse of childishness in him.

“You’ll keep trying to do that from now on too? That’s impossible; face the reality,” Benedict bit out incidentally.

Silence.

Benedict’s words were not wrong. The CH Postal Company was growing rapidly as a business. The fact that the postal company led by Salvatore Rinaudo had withdrawn from the postal industry in the previous year had a major influence in this. They now reigned at a pivotal position in Leidenschaftlich’s postal service. The CH Postal Company would soon account for nearly all of the commissions from the people living in Leidenschaftlich. Other than being busy with work affairs, there were even discussions about relocating the head office because of problems with waiting areas and break rooms due to securing new employees.

“Like, you and I are gonna get damn busy. The Auto-Memories Doll department is gonna be the main organ of the head office and my place will be ordinary mail, right? We’ll be teaching people how things go, and I’ll be doing deliveries too. You’re the one with the busiest role. Anything and everything’s gonna be relayed to you. Getting to be close to your employees like until now while doing all that is just...”

It was natural for a company that had become bigger to do a corporative split-off and for one of their employees to manage the branch office. Benedict was still young but had the power to bring people together. The task would not be an impossible one if they put a veteran of the head office in charge of taking over it. They could do this, Hodgins had decided, thus he came up with the proposal.

“The regular meetings and other stuff that I take part in happen in the head office... It’s not like we won’t get to see each other.”

“Everyone will have a different post and position. We won’t get to see each other. Same for you, Old Man.”

“If it’s work, I can adjust it. I’ll do my best to administrate everyone so that the employees can get a time every now and then to relax like this...”

“Old Man, even if you do your best, V’s dating that nasty-ass military officer, so won’t they get married someday? Dunno ‘bout it, but... that’s why it’s impossible to always watch over us in the first place...”

Silence.

“Hey, don’t clam up.”

What was being thrust at Hodgins now was something that he did not want to look straight at, despite thinking about and readying himself for it. That was what he was being told.

“Hodgins – hey, Old Man.”

It was something that Benedict Blue had the right to say, exactly because they had been doing everything together from the start.

“Hey, don’t take it in a weird way. I ain’t saying this to be malicious. You left the Auto-Memories Doll department in the head office ‘cause your wish to watch over V is a big deal, right? I get it. She’s special to you.”

“That’s not it; I—”

“But she won’t be a kid forever. She’s different from back when she started working, with you teaching her everything. She’s someone who’s gonna let go of your hand one day. She ain’t your real daughter or your girlfriend. Then, if you had to say what she is, at the end of the day, she’s your employee. You’ll part ways one day. If you don’t get ready for that now, will you manage to get over it if she marries into that bastard’s family and he makes her leave the company?”

“Will you manage to get over it?” The question ruminated in Hodgins’s heart.

Benedict had shot him where it hurt without mercy. He was a gun expert. His aim was precise and the bleeding made Hodgins want to hold his own chest down.

——Will I recover if I ever have to be separated from Violet Evergarden? Hodgins pondered earnestly over the question. ——I don’t know.

He truly did not know.

Bonds were things that could not easily break off once they had connected, yet reality, time and busyness unpityingly caused the existence of “friends” to grow far apart.

——To the point that I don’t know, I...

Surely, a day like this would not happen five years from now. Their place to return to amidst the rain would be somewhere else.

——It’s not just her, but also you and everyone else.

To begin with, they might not even be working in the company itself anymore until then. More of them would fall for someone, nurture their love and move their places to be in life to their “homes”.

Twenty, thirty years from now, it might be hard for them to even work. Or they would not be alive – there was also that possibility.

The one who was more aware of this than anybody else was Hodgins, the oldest of them all.

——I’m the one who’s farthest apart in age.

That was exactly why he did not know.

“I have no idea.”

He did not want to see it. Did not want to think about it.

“I have too many things that matter to me, so I can’t make a move anymore. Y’know, you... you might aught at this, but... rather than when you’re young, getting hurt becomes scarier when you grow older. You start losing the energy to do your best and heal. It’s tiring. Still...”

Hodgins had thought that the youth in front of him, who referred to him as “Old Man” on a daily basis, was probably going to laugh, yet Benedict was expressionless.

“Still...”

He did nothing but listen. His posture of properly listening at times like these somewhat...

——...looks like Little Violet.

“Still, I know I’m the one who has to get moving the most. I’m getting everyone involved in the things I wanna do. That’s why I do what I have to. I also counted on you, because I trust you. I left it in your care. But... that and my feelings for her and you guys...”

“I get it.”

“...are different things, right? Y’know, you’re... mean. I’m like a foster parent to you, and yet... Even if you understand my loneliness...”

While Hodgins spoke as if bursting out, Benedict put a hand to his mouth as though to stop him. “I get it.”

Time halted completely.

Was he supporting the flustered figure of the one who was like a parent to him?

“My bad.”

Before he had noticed, he was carrying a load of things he must protect. Was he doing this due to realizing that he had left Hodgins to chance, thinking, “That’s because it’s him”?

“My bad. That just now was on me.”

Silence.

“I didn’t have to pick today to say this. Isn’t that right?”

“You think I’m being lame right now, don’t you?”

“Nah, you ain’t all that cool in the first place.”

“That’s a lie; I’m a generally-acknowledged beautiful young man... no, beautiful middle-aged man.”

“You might not be cool, but well, that’s what’s good about you. Right?”

Silence.

“The cool thing about my Claudia Hodgins is his uncool side.”

Since Benedict was speaking as if to comfort a child, Hodgins told him to “shut up”, slightly annoyed, yet burst into laughter nevertheless.

The rain caused all sorts of things to pour. The way that people were drowned by the drops trickling down from the sky inevitably made them think about something.

As dawn broke, Claudia Hodgins sat up, body heavy from not getting much sleep. When he peeked at his room’s bed, Violet and Cattleya were sleeping wrapped in the same blanket. On the sofa, Benedict was scattered about, snoring in a way that made him want to laugh.

Hodgins looked for where Lux Sibyl might be. He went down from the third to the second floor, and then from the second to the first floor. She was nowhere to be found.

While thinking it could not be possible, Hodgins opened the front door, and sure enough, he could see the figure of a girl walking down the street towards him.

The clothes she had put to dry yesterday were surely half-wet. What was it that she wanted to do outside so badly to the point of going this far? He understood when he saw what she had in her arms.

“Ah, President.”

Lux was holding a paper bag with a lot of bread in it. The amount was enough that the small girl’s face could not be seen.

“Little Lux... could it be you went to buy us breakfast?”

Thinking back, this young woman was the kind of person who was always quick to act when she was trying to do something for someone. That was all it took to be a considerate person, but without kindness in their heart, they would not turn out this way. The reason why Hodgins had nominated her his secretary was not just that she could do any sort of work.

“That’s so nice.”

“Yes, the bakery owner is very nice. I woke up a bit too early, and when I went on a walk to see how things were outside, the bakery was just about to open and they were getting ready... I went to take a look ‘cause it seemed so delicious and they told me to come in.”

“Ah, hm...”

“I was so touched when they said they baked bread for people who were hungry early in the morning, so I told them many thanks for selling them and bought lots of it. It’s the bakery from that street around the corner.”

“As expected of my secretary. Did you properly get the receipt?”

At those words, Lux showed him a smile that resembled a blooming flower. “Huhu, of course.”

For Hodgins, who had spent the night deep in thought about all sorts of things, that smile was a soothing one. It was like the water of a lake for someone who was feeling thirsty.

Hodgins wordlessly took the bag from Lux. “Little Lux, I’m seriously glad you came to us.”

“Only in this kind of situation, right?”

“All the time. Always. Little Lux, you’re still young, will probably keep working with us... and you’re such a good secretary... I’m the happiest CEO in Leidenschaftlich.”

“Are you going to hire me for life?”

“Eh?”

“Is that a no?”

“No, I could. But that’d mean working with me for life, y’know?”

“Is that bad? I have nowhere else to go.”

When asked with such an innocent look, Hodgins faltered.

“I won’t say the stuff Benedict does, like wanting the company for me.”

“Well, I might... end up giving it to you if you say that, so don’t ever. Hahah... Of course, keep working for us forever and always at my place. Huh, this is kinda like a marriage vow... Wanna take this opportunity and marry me in the future? Just kidding...” Upon thinking that the jest that came out incidentally was an unsavory one right after saying it, Hodgins looked at Lux’s reaction, only to find her staring back at him blankly. He had made himself into a caricature of an old man bothering a girl. “No, it was a prank! But hey. Little Lux, you might be the only one who can go along with me, so having this kind of small talk is... I-I’m not looking at you with dirty eyes, really! We’re too far apart in age, after all! We’re c-close enough that we can crack this kind of joke to each other, right?”

Lux pretended to think for just a few seconds. “Huhu, I can tell. That it’s a joke, at least. But not happening. We’re not getting married.”

And then, she flat-out rejected him.

“Ah, yes.” Although Hodgins would have been at loss if she had accepted it, his shoulders dropped somewhat.

“But President, I’m prepared to nurse you if you ever become unable to work.”

“Don’t... suddenly thrust such a cruel reality at me.”

“Eh, is it? From my point of view... this is quite a deep form of love. President, you’re the first decent adult who accepted me. I’ll devote my whole life to you.”

“Little Lux, you sure like me a lot. Gonna marry me after all?”

This time, Lux actually grinned and replied, “I’ll take that one home and consider it.”

“Amazing; that answer’s like the business talk at the company.”

“Because you’re teasing me... even though you’re well-aware that I don’t even know love yet.”

“Don’t know love yet”. The destructive power of those words caused Hodgins to regret his lighthearted proposal a little.

“Then, I’ll ask again in about five years. I should be at a nice middle age by then.”

“You say that, President, but you’re going on a trip with some hottie next week. I know it.”

The duo, who somehow seemed like they would or other be hanging together for a long time, returned to the office with bouncing chatter.

In order to make breakfast for everyone together, Hodgins and Lux stood in the kitchen by themselves.

Besides the already-baked bread, they would need drinks and vegetables. Those were merely simple preliminary preparations, but Hodgins felt that just this was somehow enjoyable, unlike doing the work on his own.

“President, you have yours with one sugar cube and a slice of lemon, right?”

“And for Little Lux, it’s two sugar cubes with milk, yeah? I know it.”

While arranging the bread on a plate, they also poured water over the tealeaves and left them to steam. Perhaps due to the scenery that could be seen from the kitchen’s small window being a blue sky with not a single cloud in it, it was awfully dazzling.

“Good morning.”

The next person who appeared amidst the morning sunlight was Violet. Her soft golden hair was just a bit disheveled. Hodgins’s hand naturally reached out to it.

“Morning... You’ve got a bedhead, Little Violet.”

“Excuse me...” Violet looked back at Hodgins as he caressed her head, seeming a little embarrassed. Her eyes were just slightly red. She might have not been able to sleep very well.

“Morning, Violet. Are Cattleya and Benedict also up?”

“Benedict was awake until a while ago, but when I got up from the bed, he began sleeping again by Cattleya’s side.”

“Morally speaking, it’s that kinda thing. I’ll go give him a warning.”

Hodgins laughed a little, seeing Lux off as she walked away while rotating her tiny shoulders. He then turned his gaze back to Violet. Her bedhead, which he had supposedly fixed with the caressing, had returned. For some reason, both of them being alone like this in a kitchen bathed in morning sunlight struck him as extremely peculiar.

Just the two of them, having such a tender time. How many more opportunities would they have for that?

They were already at it. He should talk about something. That was what Hodgins thought, but the words did not come out of him. Not because he had no topic to discuss. He could come up with as many things to talk about as he wanted, such wanting flowers to decorate the table or that they would surely have many customers today who were unable to come yesterday.

But he did not want to spoil this morning. He felt that it might crumble if he spoke even one sentence.

Violet was there. She had her blue eyes directed his way, looking at him. It was no longer awkward for the two of them to stay silent. That was their relationship.

Perhaps still sleepy, she was in a haze. He wanted to watch her standing amidst this gentle time for a little longer.

As she would usually always seem wide-awake, Hodgins believed that she was laidback to this extent due to being in the presence of people with whom she could be at ease from the bottom of her heart. That he had played a part in this feeling of security of hers.

——Will you forget one day?

One day, the position that Claudia Hodgins occupied in the life of Violet Evergarden would become smaller.

——She only gets bigger on my end, though.

Going to the hospital numerous times. Pushing her wheelchair. Giving her a notebook and teaching her how to write.

——I for sure can’t forget. These moments, days, everything like this with you.

The fact that he had not stopped her from fighting in the war. That he had thought they could use her.

——I can’t forget.

Delivering to Violet an outfit that could hide her prosthetic arms, yet that would also make her look her most beautiful.

——I’m sure I won’t forget about this morning either.

About that quiet morning, which was much like the one from before everyone was caught in the great storm and barged in.

Hodgins touched Violet’s hair again. Although she had told Benedict not to touch it, with Hodgins, she all but slightly left a strand in his hand’s care and let him take it, almost like how a cat would do.

——Aah, I want to hug you.

He was not in love with her. That would never be the case.

However, if she were his real daughter, on days like these, mornings like these, he would have easily said, “Good morning, precious” and embraced her.

“I had a dream, President Hodgins,” Violet whispered out of the blue with a freshly awake, faintly hoarse voice.

“Dream...?”

The stunning young woman, who was no longer a girl, talked about her dream like a child, “Yes; in the dream... you owned a clothing store.”

“Huhu, that so?”

“I cannot make clothes. You told me that you did not need me, President Hodgins, if I could not make clothes...”

“That’s horrible of me, huh.”

“Even when I said I could polish the shoes, clean up or do anything, you did not listen...”

Unlike the real one, the dream version of Hodgins had apparently chosen to part ways with Violet.

“Little Violet, what did you do about that?”

“I asked countless times. However, you rejected it countless times. I thought about standing in front of the shop until you allowed me in, but it started raining like yesterday.”

“Hm. And then?”

“Major Gilbert came to pick me up and told me to come home with him, but...”

“Hm.”

“I waited for President to come out of the store even as the lights went out.”

“Hm.”

“Despite waiting and waiting, President Hodgins did not come out, and at some point, a passerby told me, ‘This shop has moved’.”

“Even though it was open until just a moment ago?”

“It was a dream, after all... And then – and then, I asked where it was and went after it. Benedict and Cattleya also appeared in-between, but they seemed to have other things to do, saying they would come after me later... As for Lux, she was the only one who had been hired by you from the very beginning, so she also asked you to hire me again, but in the end, you said no could do.”

“Hm...” Suddenly, Hodgins felt so pained about everything that it was hard to breathe. “And then, Little Violet, what did you do...?” His hand reached out to Violet.

“I kept looking at the interior of the store beyond the shop window from outside.”

Not towards her head, but towards her eyes, where her golden lashes fluttered like the wings of a fairy.

“Inside it, many people – people that I know and do not know – came and left... showing how lively the shop was.”

A sea had silently formed in them, which dissolved and disappeared once Hodgins’s index finger touched it.

“Major came to pick me up for the nth time and said you had told him that my standing there was causing him problems. But, for whatever reason, I at the very least knew that if I stepped away from there even for a moment, you would never let me in... therefore, I could not comply. But I did not want to trouble you, President, so I was unable to make a decision... I attempted to ask Major for instructions, but he was also gone before I realized.”

The sea – the teardrop – turned into a pearl and slipped down her cheek.

“I... I... ended up crying.” Violet stared at the sky, the look in her eyes seeming almost as if the scene from her dream was there at this very moment. “To think I would cry like that...”

“Hm.”

“That was why President Hodgins would not hire me, I thought... And also why Major had grown tired and left.”

“Hm.”

“Then, without my notice, you came outside. You looked the same as that post-war day when you went to visit me at the hospital. You were very surprised with my appearance, as I was soaked with mud and rain. And so, you said this: ‘Guess we’ll start with how to hold a needle’. You told me that you had not invited me for the new job because it would surely be difficult with these hands of mine, so I was extremely relieved... Then, then...” Violet’s words cut off at once.

Unable to hold himself back, Hodgins pulled her into an embrace as if shoving her little head into his chest.

While being embraced, Violet said with eyes that looked as though she was still dreaming, “...with some effort, I could still be helpful. I was able to confirm this, after all.”

Hearing her let out a relieved sigh in his arms, Hodgins forgot about both his and Violet’s positions, clasping her to his chest very, very firmly. “You sure are helpful... Was there anything about me that made you feel uncertain?” Upon realizing that his voice sounded tearful, Hodgins allowed the tears to overflow at the truth.

——Aah, I’m such an idiot. Got caught up in it and ended up crying too.

As the girl whom he thought of as his own daughter, despite her being an actual adult, had shed tears, he found himself crying along with her. Almost like a child. Even though he was supposed to conduct himself as an elder in this situation.

“I do not know.”

“But, has anything like that ever happened until now...? You had that dream because you were uneasy.”

“‘Uneasy’... That might have been the case. Yesterday night, I came to know that many things were progressing while I was away, so I have the feeling that I was quite agitated.”

“Sorry; we were doing things on our own accord. Even though we’ve been together since the founding.”

“No, I am often absent, and it is only natural for some things to be decided in the meantime. I am an employee. I feel that your judgement is correct. Employees must correspond to the changes of a company. My surroundings are about to change significantly. I am grateful to you, President, for letting me be here like always. However...”

“‘However’...?”

“However, I do not know if I can cope with it. With the matters regarding Major, the ones regarding the company... with the fact that Benedict will be going to a different office building. When I think about these things...”

“It’s okay.”

“When I think about them, I realize that the number of things I should prioritize has increased too much.”

“Little Violet.”

“The order of priorities...”

“It’s all right.”

“I have to deal with situations of every kind as I live, and yet...”

——Surely, Violet Evergarden wouldn’t be alive if she didn’t do that.

Always, at all times.

She had been living through corresponding to her surroundings despite being at loss regarding its circumstances, putting everything she could do to use while looking for a place to belong and an adult who would take care of her. She was not allowed to waver. For beasts, hesitation was death.

Violet did not know unconditional love. She now had at last earned herself this warm place through her efforts, but it was about to suffer a rapid change with the course of time.

After running, running and running, Violet – previously one such beast – was watching the nest she had finally found crumble down. Even when people knew they had to prepare to start running again, there would come a time when they would be short of breath and unable to move.

Violet had gone from wild animal to person.

Her human parts and animal parts co-existed, occasionally revealing themselves. When she was the animal, she simply did not mind how much a place changed as long as she could live in it. However, it was difficult to live while holding something better, more important.

Now that she had become a person through the increasing of her emotions...

“I shall fight. I can always be of use. President Hodgins, please forget this aspect of me that I just showed you.”

...she had turned into just a girl who was a little bit scared of the future.

“Please... forget about it.”

Who had made her this way? Gilbert was likely the first, but the ones who had done the finishing touches were definitely all the people in this place.

“No way, I’m not forgetting.”

At Hodgins’s words, Violet lowered her eyebrows, looking troubled.

“Don’t make a face like that; I’m not teasing. I meant to say that you don’t need to worry about it. You indeed might’ve gotten weak. But is that a bad thing? You had nothing when you met me for the first time. Not even your brooch, right...? But now you have lots of things. You went on a journey for a long time and got more stuff to shoulder while you were at it, so it’s no wonder that you’d end up in a dilemma.” Albeit knowing that Cattleya, Benedict and Lux were looking at them in shock from the shadows at the doorway, Hodgins went on, “You know... life is a journey. Little Violet, you’ll go on this journey, won’t you?”

He had already forgotten about his anxiety. The feeling of frustration at such things and the overwhelming wish to cling to someone were now gone.

“You started your journey with a little less luggage than other people, so you’re staring at your bag now that it’s gotten a bit heavy, wondering what happened to it. You don’t know what to throw away anymore.”

He was able to think, from the depths of his heart, that he had returned to his usual self. While embracing her, who was indeed still young and confused in the middle of her journey, he was finally able to think so.

“You need clothes and money, of course, and good shoes are vital. Right, and an umbrella too. When you look into your bag and realize that you actually have nothing that you can get rid of, it’s indeed a problem. Even though it’s a hassle because it’s so heavy. What do you think you should do?”

He could still be useful.

“Train... my physical strength... No, calibrate my prosthetics...”

He was still needed.

“You’re such a fool... Either leave it in someone’s care and continue the journey or have someone take half of it.”

Even if it were only for a short while.

“Gilbert will probably take half of the luggage. I can take care of the rest that you can’t carry over here. I’ll be in Leidenschaftlich forever, after all. Little Violet, no matter where you go, I’ll stay here and wait for you to come back, and no matter when you come over, I’ll welcome you. I’ll take care of the contents of your bag with pleasure.”

——Even if you only remember me a few times a year someday...

“Listen up: whenever you’re troubled, remember that I’m here. And then you’ll be able to go on a journey again anytime.”

——...I’ll ready myself to welcome you at any time of the year.

“Am I really supposed to leave my luggage here?”

——I’m the kind of man who can do that, and you need it for sure.

“Hm-hm, that’s not it. Y’see, this is about memories. All you have to do is to know. That I’m here. This is the way to make your luggage lighter. Whenever you’re having problems, bam, remember me. If you do that, the worries you have now will definitely decrease a little. Y’know, at the end of the day... people’s place to come home to aren’t places, they’re ‘somebody’. You should know that much. You’d have gone to any battlefield if Gilbert was there, right? Someday, yes, you might quit being an Auto-Memories Doll. You might not come back to Leidenschaftlich.”

——It’ll be great if this “someday” never comes, though.

“But your current memories are with me. I’ll be a representation of them. So that you, my dear... will be able to open your memories anytime. When this moment right now becomes nostalgic to you, come see me. I’ll always be here. Waiting for you. You’re feeling ‘lonely’ right now. But... Little Violet. You have me. You’re not alone.”

——I want you to remember.

“I do not understand very well... However...”

——I’m always protecting you.

“...you have always guided me.”

——Waiting for your return.

“I never doubt your word.”

——I’ll be waiting here.

“But, President Hodgins, I have only one wish.”

——I want you to show up when your journey ends.

Deciding to deal with the sobbing coming from behind the door later, Hodgins opted for staying like this for just a bit longer. Her lover might get angry if he saw it, but he had the right to do it, at least to some extent. After all, she was Claudia Hodgins’s dear employee.

Hodgins asked with a particularly gentle tone, “What would it be, Little Violet?”

Violet blinked and looked up at Hodgins. The last drop spilled from her eyes.

“If, only if... there comes a time when you will quit the postal company and start doing something else...”

“Hm.”

“...please call me. No matter where you are, I will rush to you.”

“Hm.”

“I will definitely be of help... Even if not, should your luggage become too much, please call me when you need someone to carry it for you. I shall hasten to visit you.”

“For real?”

“Yes. I, too, will carry President’s luggage. You should know it. I am strong.”

“Huhu, yep, definitely. One day, you’ll understand what I mean by ‘luggage’. Hey...”

“Hiya, I’m Hodgins. What’s your name?”

Silence.

“This kid’s such a taciturn.”

“She... doesn’t have a name yet. She’s an orphan with no education. Can’t talk either.”

“That’s so terrible of you. She’s such a beauty. Just give a name worthy of her.”

“Little Violet, thanks for meeting me.”

Love was almost like rain.

#violet evergarden #fyeahvioletevergarden #veedit #kyoani #kyoto animation #violet evergarden ever after #claudia hodgins #benedict blue #cattleya baudelaire #lux sibyl #akatsuki kana #takase akiko #my translation #novel

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nicknellie · 4 years ago

Text

Anonymous requested: Alex meets Willie at a coffee shop and they’ve been talking for a few weeks but Alex is afraid to admit anything of liking Willie. But his friends push him to and he finds out that Willie likes him back and they go on a date.

I combined this with a prompt from this amazing list because I thought it was funny. I didn’t include the actual date because I know nothing about skating but if enough people want it then I’d be more than happy to do a part two of this!

I also added Julie, Carrie, and Alex being best friends because we deserve it.

Batman and the Barista

Aside from his co-workers, there was not one single thing about working at Eats ‘n’ Beats that made Alex Mercer’s job there bearable. If the coffee machine wasn’t straight-up not working, it was spurting scalding water at him; the customers were generally speaking entitled and rude; his boss was so laid-back and carefree that it was painful and no problems in the workplace ever got solved; and the hours were ridiculous – for example, some days Alex worked from four a.m. until nine a.m. Who in their right mind wants coffee at four o’clock in the morning?

The only other thing – or rather, the only other person – that might have stood any chance of making Alex’s job worthwhile also made it worse. They would have been perfect if only for the fact that they wouldn’t tell Alex their goddamn name.

He was a regular at Eats ‘n’ Beats and seemed to come into the shop at least once on every one of Alex’s shifts. He was, in Alex’s eyes, utterly perfect – beautiful tawny skin, long dark hair sometimes twined into a bun at the base of his neck, and the most adorable smile Alex could imagine. It was downright unfair how attractive he was, and how funny, kind, and smart he was too.

If only he would tell Alex who he was.

Every single time he came in the shop, the guy ordered the same drink (hot chocolate with cream, marshmallows, sprinkles, the works) and every time Alex would ask for his name. Every single time he had received a different answer.

The first few times he had hardly noticed. The second time the guy came in the coffee shop he had told Alex his name was Horatio – Alex could have sworn his name had been Patrick the week before, but it was possible that he was misremembering, so he hadn’t thought anything of it. But the next time the guy came in his name had been Edmund. After that it had been Marcus, then Jason, then Rudy, Stewart, Bob, Milo. The names had got increasingly weirder; just yesterday Alex had scrawled Megamind on the guy’s to-go cup. Before that it had been Sherlock.

As lovely as the guy was, Alex often found himself complaining to his friends about him and his lack of naming consistency, usually on his too-short breaks.

“He just seems like a really cool guy,” he was saying to his co-workers Carrie and Julie one day as they all sat around a small, cramped table in the staff room. “I’d really like to get to know him but he seems intent on me not knowing him at all!”

Alex could practically hear Carrie rolling her eyes. “We know you’d like to get to know him,” she muttered, “it’s all you ever talk about.”

“That’s not true,” Alex protested. “I talk about other things!”

“Like what?” Carrie asked, raising a perfectly trimmed eyebrow.

“Like the band,” Alex returned.

Julie shook her head. “Only if I bring it up first. And your contribution is usually something along the lines of ‘I wish coffee shop guy would come to one of our gigs, how cool would that be?’”

“That’s not– I– okay.” Alex sighed, then said under his breath, “Although it would be kinda cool if he did come to one of our shows.”

Carrie sighed dramatically. “You are so far gone it’s painful to listen to.”

“Just ask him out,” Julie said, smiling fondly. “I see the way he grins at you when he gives you a ridiculous fake name – his smile is so wide it practically falls off his face!”

“I don’t want to ask him out,” Alex lied. It wasn’t as if a lie like that could work on Julie and Carrie anyway; they both rolled their eyes and crossed their arms, eerily in sync with each other. “I don’t! I just want to get to know him.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Julie said.

“No. I wanted to get to know you guys without wanting to date you.”

“That’s because you’re gay,” Carrie said matter-of-factly, “and Julie and I are, correct me if I’m wrong, girls.”

“That’s fair,” Alex conceded. “But I don’t want to ask him out.”

Julie patted his hand. “Sure, Alex.”

A few minutes later, their break ended and the three friends made their way back out front to the shop. It was bustling and busy, and the co-worker Alex took over from on the register looked one customer away from breaking down into a mess of tears.

Alex, Julie, and Carrie (each manning their stations either on the cash register, at the coffee machine, or calling orders) started working, getting drinks and snacks for everyone. In the first five minutes, only one person yelled at Alex for accidentally spelling their name wrong on the cup, which passed as a good five minutes in his book.

Alex wouldn’t deny that he was watching the door, waiting for someone specific to come in. So maybe he was a little distracted, and maybe he did mess up a few orders or names, and maybe he could feel Julie and Carrie fondly glaring at him for being a little bit elsewhere, but it wasn’t really his fault. It was entirely Cute No-Name’s fault and if asked that was exactly who Alex would blame.

Eventually, with only ten minutes to go until closing time when the customers had dwindled down to just one or two every few minutes, the door swung open and the guy finally came in. There was something a little different today, and Alex’s throat went dry when he saw it – Cute No-Name had a skateboard tucked under his arm and removed his helmet as he entered the shop.

There was no queue at this hour, so he sauntered right up to Alex, a wide smile on his face.

“Hey, hotdog,” the guy said. It was a name he’d started using for Alex after seeing that one of the many things he had embroidered on his work apron was a hotdog (right between the rainbow flag and the drumsticks). Alex didn’t like the nickname, but No-Name couldn’t be stopped.

“Hey,” Alex replied, clearing his throat. “Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good,” No-Name replied. “You?”

“Yeah, yeah, great,” Alex said. He was aiming for a casual tone, but judging by Carrie and Julie’s poorly masked snickers he was not doing a very good job. “You want the usual?”

“Yeah, thanks, man,” the guy said. “To-go, please.”

Alex nodded, punching the price into the cash register and giving the guy his total. After he had been paid, Alex picked up a to-go cup and a permanent marker, turning to No-Name again. “So, what’s your name today?”

No-Name considered for a moment, then grinned. Maybe Julie was right, Alex thought – nobody could find this whole thing so funny that they’d smile that wide.

“I’m Batman,” the guy said. The worst part was that he did the voice too.

Alex groaned and shook his head, fighting a smile as he scrawled ‘Batman’ on the cup. “Of course you are. Carrie,” he called over his shoulder, holding the cup out. “This guy’s usual, please.”

Carrie didn’t take the cup. Instead, giggling along with Julie, she said, “Sorry, but who is ‘this guy’?”

“Carrie,” Alex said warningly.

“Who is he, Alex?” Julie asked, face bright with laughter.

“Not you too,” Alex said. Carrie, Julie, and No-Name were all properly laughing now. “I seriously can’t be the only one who doesn’t find this funny.”

“What’s his name, Alex?” Carrie asked between laughs.

Alex scowled at her. “Batman.”

Finally, Carrie took the cup and started making ‘Batman’s’ drink. Alex, shaking his head exasperatedly, turned back to face No-Name.

“Can I ask what your actual name is?” he said while Julie and Carrie were distracted by throwing marshmallows at each other, clearly not listening. “Genuinely. Because you always give a fake or different name and I… I mean, I just want to know who you really are.”

No-Name’s beam faded to a smaller, more delicate, warmer smile. “Sure, hotdog. It’s Willie.”

It was really that easy? All he’d had to do this whole time was ask?

“Really? No joking around this time?” The guy nodded. Alex thought for a moment and then said, “Willie what?”

Willie shrugged and leaned on the counter. He wasn’t that close, but Alex felt as if they were practically nose-to-nose. He wouldn’t have admitted how much that made his heart race.

“It depends,” Willie said. “What’s yours?”

Alex furrowed his brow, confused, but still said, “It’s Mercer.”

The mischievous grin was back. Willie straightened up and said, “Well, in that case, hopefully one day it’ll be Willie Mercer.”

Alex felt his jaw drop, heard Julie gasp, and heard Carrie not-so-quietly utter a swear.

Willie was the only one who seemed unaffected. He beamed over at Carrie, saying, “Is my drink nearly ready? I’ve got a skatepark to get to.”

With shaking hands, Carrie passed Willie his drink, and after they’d all said their goodbyes she slapped Alex’s arm. Repeatedly. Hard.

“He likes you,” she hissed. She almost sounded angry, but Alex knew that she was simply passionate about something potentially going right in his love life for once. “He totally likes you!”

“You think so?” Alex asked sceptically. “Because he could have just been joking–”

Julie scoffed. “That guy’s idea of a joke is giving a fake name at a coffee shop, not the implication of marriage.”

Alex couldn’t help it. He let himself smile and felt himself blush.

“So,” Julie continued, “will you ask him out now?”

Alex looked at the floor, still smiling sheepishly. “I’ll think about it,” he mumbled through his smile.

In the end, it didn’t really take much thinking about. Willie came in again the next day, even though it was one of Alex’s four-til-nine shifts. At six a.m. on the dot, Willie pushed the door open, the only customer in the shop.

“Hey, hotdog,” he greeted as usual, coming over and leaning against the counter.

“Hey, Willie,” Alex returned, smiling. He couldn’t believe he had a real name to use for this guy now; it made his heart beat in a way that was far too over the top for the situation. Without asking what Willie wanted or for a name to put on his cup, he set about making the drink. “You went skating yesterday, right? How was it?”

Willie grinned, fiddling with a ribbon on a charity collection tub. “It was fun. I mastered a trick I’ve been trying to learn for months. Have you ever skated?”

“Yep,” Alex said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Loads of times.”

Willie laughed. Alex adored the sound, and the way Willie’s eyes crinkled with his smile as he giggled. He felt his heart beat even faster. “So that’s a no. Maybe I could teach you sometime.”

“I’m not sure you really want to do that,” Alex said, handing over the drink, the name ‘Willie’ written on the side of the cup. “I don’t think I’m exactly badass skater material.”

“Still,” Willie said with a shrug. “It’d be fun. And we could make it a date. If you want.”

Yet again, Alex felt his jaw drop. “Wait, really? You want to… okay. You want to go on a date with me?”

Willie said nothing, just smiled brightly.

“I… I mean, yeah,” Alex continued, feeling very flustered, overwhelmed by the butterflies in his stomach. They were happy butterflies though – unnaturally happy. “Yeah, I also want to go on a date. With you. Thank you. People probably don’t say ‘thank you’ when they’re asked on a date, do they? That was probably weird, I’m sorry–”

Willie laughed and Alex stopped talking. He wouldn’t have been surprised if the whole world stopped, if the Earth ceased its spinning every time Willie made that sound.

“It’s a date,” Willie said, grinning. “Are you free today?”

Alex choked to find his voice and said, “Yeah, I finish at nine.”

“Cool, bro, I’ll be here to pick you up then. Sound good?”

“Sounds great,” he returned. Once again, he wasn’t quite sure he hit his target of ‘coolly disinterested’ and instead landed at ‘so disinterested that it was obvious that he was interested’. “I’ll see you then.”

“Catch you later, hotdog,” Willie said, saluting as he left the coffee shop, the bell on the door ringing behind him.

Alex couldn’t help but do an excited little jump and something that might have passed for a happy dance, but there was nobody there to see him so it didn’t matter. He couldn’t wait to tell Julie and Carrie about this.

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johannesviii · 4 years ago

Text

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

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dumbwaystodeviate · 5 years ago

Note

Hello!!! Your blog is absolutely fantastic!!! I hope everyone running it has an amazing night’s sleep!!! And as a bonus, do you have any sleep related stories?

Well thank you there :D I’m glad you like it. I could use way more sleep. And ya know, I don’t know if we did so I think it would be a nice time to rectify it.

Humans had a knack for being weird. No matter how many androids one would ask there was always some kind of weird story, be it from things they were personally involved with or just saw passively on the street, there were plenty of laughs and grievances to be had.

Gavin heard quite a few of his own around the office when others thought he wasn’t listening, even Hank seen a few in his short time with the Lieutenant.

“I don’t know why it keeps happening, at least every other week he’s shaking me from stasis over the doorbell going off. We don’t even have a doorbell??? I might not need stasis but I would like to not be woken up with my combat protocols going off because he’s panicking over a nonexistent doorbell.” The HK sounded quite fustrated with the whole thing, led spinning yellow as he watched said disaster of a human doze off at his desk.

The GV couldn’t say he was really interested in their home life, but it wasn’t like he had anything to do at the moment to warrant slipping away. “Sounds like he needs more therapy and less coffee.” He wondered why he ended up being the one other androids vented around.

Apparently that was the right thing to say seeing as the other android relaxed and smiled. “Good idea, I will see what I can do with him.”

Gavin at times was as pleased that he got the more sensible brother to work with, aside from a weird sugar addiction the man had, nothing really interested happened with him outside of work. Not that the android knew much about the man outside of work. He had work to do.

However lately things had been a little off, the rise of android related cases bearing more stress than normal and everyone a little more grouchy. At least the humans. Gavin was doing his best to help Niles but strangely, for such a hard working person, he had found the man kept disappearing. It wasn’t unusual that he left for his breaks, but it was odd that he didn’t get back on time and this fact alone was bugging the GV.

They didn’t have time for that kind of thing, even if he was an android Gavin wasn’t exactly the newest model. He tried to ignore it, but after two weeks when it started happening even more he had had enough. Thankfully it was easy for him to track Niles’ phone, having connected to it many times. But to be lead to the break room, only to find him not there? That was concerning.

After a bit of searching Gavin was left speechless. He found his human alright, hid away in the cabinet asleep. Now, the android was annoyed as a machine could be, but more than anything just stumped and left spinning yellow at the sure ridiculousness that such a large man managed to wedge himself in there. Apparently both brothers were weird.

After shaking his shoulder a few times, and a few saved pictures, he managed to wake the human back up. Red marks showed brightly on the right side of his face from where he had pressed it, looking dazed as he finally came to.

“Hu? Fuckin’... Go away, i’m on break.” First time the GV had ever really hear the man curse, was kinda funny.

“Your break ended an hour ago, detective. Get up so we can get the reports done for the day. And perhaps sleep at home.” Whatever surprise there had been had worn off, and Gavin wasted no time in grabbing the man by the arm to haul him out.

Niles only vaguely helped in getting himself out, still half asleep and as coordinated as a baby deer. “Fine, fine. I’m coming, just let go.”

Eager to get back to work Gavin finally let go when he knew Niles was good to go himself. Still, he was left with a few errors he couldn’t quite shake off after finding his partner like that, and he wondered if that was where he had been going all this time. He knew the human was athletic and flexible but that was just silly.

And really that should have been the end of it, but it wasn’t. No, the GV found himself having to hunt down the human more and more during work only to find him napping. First the cabinet, legs curled up almost to his ears. Then the evidence room behind the desk, drooling a little and twitching a bit in his sleep. That one bothered Gavin less because at least he was in a normal position. He didn’t know why he saved a photo of that.

He had a major argument the day he found the human asleep in his car, which wouldn’t be so bad if someone wasn’t trying to get into it after him while he slept. The android wondered how he slept through that, thinking he might have to check the locks at his home just in case.

It was clear to the GV that the man wasn’t sleeping enough at night, suspecting it was largely because of him overworking but wouldn’t rule out other home issues. If he didn’t get the human to sleep proper they were going to be in for a bad time. The last thing they needed was him slipping up in a serious situation.

Niles hadn’t napped today, but Gavin knew it wouldn’t be long before he tried, the slightly glazed look in his eyes being a tell. But he couldn’t just ask the man to go home, there was no way he would listen. So he waited. Waited until he inevitably crept off to find a place to nap. It didn’t take too long before the android found him in another random spot, snoozing like he belonged there.

“Could you at least sleep on something meant for comfort? A couch or carpet?” He muttered, annoyed as he picked up the much longer man into his arms.

He almost got out of the building without waking the man, but apparently he wasn’t going to be that lucky, seeing as said human had just woken up with a slue of slurred curses.

“Damn android, put me down.” Niles’ squirming wasn’t all that helpful, considering he was half out of it and Gavin was an android, but he did give a valiant effort.

“Only if you promise to go home, or should I tell the Captain about your habit?”

That seemed to work, the detective staring at him wide eyed before he realised that the GV wasn’t bluffing. “Whatever, just let go.”

It was all Gavin needed, letting him down gently and following him to his car, stealing the keys so they didn’t end up in a fiery pile of metal. And for the most part the drive was quiet, the noise of the car a soft drone that only barely covered up a soft noise starting up. Glancing over at a stoplight he found Niles was out again, slumped over in his seat and even snoring softly. Gavin supposed that this was why parents drove their babies at times, to help them get to sleep, and judging by his partner it sure as hell worked wonders.

He got a few error popups before he realised the light was green, thankful the streets were empty so no one would honk as he continued on his way Niles’ home. From there it was just a matter of taking him in, a much easier task than last time seeing as the man was out cold this round and didn’t wake for a moment. Small blessings.

Gavin couldn’t really bring himself to go into his partners room, even his programming flagging it as a bad idea. Invasion of privacy and all. So he took to the next closest place, the thankfully clear couch. And look! Pillows! It took a few moments but he finally managed to lay the human down and even get the pillow under him, glad the room was warm enough that he didn’t need a cover.

With his task done he knew he should leave, a blaring prompt confirming this, but he didn’t move. Couldn’t really, caught up in examining Niles. The way he always seemed to drool when he was really out of it, the way he hugged the pillow and how his cheek squished just right, Gavin couldn’t help but stare. A face that normally had such a stern look, hard glares, now laid here soft as can be. No invitation, no stress. Gavin believed the word he was looking for was-

There was that programming again, setting up like a red brick wall telling him to leave. Tough luck, however, seeing as the android had picked up a few habits from his partner. Namely being a stubborn ass.

A few deleted letters here, some moved code there, and Gavin had all but swept the broken coding under the digital rug. He guessed Hank had been onto something with this whole deviant business, felt pretty good to be able to just sit down beside his sleeping human and watch him for a while. Sure it was a little weird but when would he get the chance again? Maybe he could even get in a little stasis of his own too.

Just before he entered stasis he finally found the word he wanted for Niles. Cute. He was cute.

#Reed900 #Dbh Gavin #Dbh Nines #dumb ways to deviate #prompt fill #ninegeddon #1577 words just for Gavin to say Nines is cute when sleeping oTZ

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hermannsthumb · 5 years ago

Note

you know how hermann finding The Tape is like, a popular fic prompt? imagine newt listening to the tape, after the breach is closed only to find out it kept recording after he passed out? imagine newt listening to hermanns frantically confessing his love to him :^)

god ive seen the opposite (hermannn finding the tape with love confession from newt on it) but THIS.....IS A GREAT IDEA

---------------------------

“I’m not dying, Newton,” Hermann says. “Don’t be so melodramatic. It’s standard procedure, is all.” He shifts a little under his stiff medical-issued blanket, and blinks at Newt hazily; the pain meds they gave him have made him crazy out of it. A bit loopy. Unbalanced. Newt had to help him into his pajamas today, and that was enough blushing mortification for a life time, thank you. “I’ll be out--oh--tomorrow, I reckon.”

“Standard procedure, my ass,” Newt scoffs. “If that was true, I’d be in here with you.”

Hermann shuts his mouth and, wisely, doesn’t push the point. Probably because he knows Newt’s right. They both drifted with the kaiju brain, after all--shit, Newt drifted with one twice, practically fried his brain to smithereens the first time. Geiszler served over-hard. If anyone should be doomed to an overnight medical stay, it’s him. Hell--a week-long medical stay. Instead he’s being sent away with nothing more than an MRI, a pat on the head, and instructions to never fucking do that again, and meanwhile Hermann is being imprisoned for a whole twenty-four hours. Fucking ridiculous. Newt’s half-considering raising a fuss and insisting on being admitted to the bed beside Hermann’s just to keep him company.

“It’s nausea,” Hermann says. “Merely nausea. And--ah--” He lifts one hand, slowly, like he forgot he had one, and raps his knuckles against his temple. “Bit of a nasty headache.”

Hermann has always had a predilection to migraines, the brutal kind that leave him groaning in the dark for hours on end while Newt hangs, tentatively, out of sight, and they’re usually set off when he’s particularly stressed or overwhelmed by something. Usually work-related. Newt thinks hooking your mind up to an alien hivemind counts as a pretty intense stressor. “They merely want to keep me under observation to ensure it’s nothing more serious.”

Newt bites his lip; he shrugs. He still doesn’t like the sound of it, but he’d rather know one-hundred-percent Hermann’s okay. “I guess.”

Hermann gives him a rare smile. It crinkles the corner of his eyes and makes Newt’s heart race just a bit faster. “Go on, now, make yourself useful. Tidy the bloody lab. Oh--get started on our paperwork, why don’t you? Don’t sit around moping for my sake.” He pats Newt’s hand. “It’s terribly unbecoming for a rock star.”

The nurse at the front desk, when Newt badgers him, echoes Hermann’s sentiments exactly: no, Dr. Gottlieb isn’t dying, Dr. Geiszler, don’t be silly, both of your scans came back sparkling, overnight observation is just to ensure the headache and nausea aren’t something more serious (which we’re almost completely sure it isn’t), you can come pick him back up tomorrow morning at seven. Okay?

“Okay,” Newt sighs.

He casts a forlorn glance back at Hermann. “I’ll come back with dinner,” he says, weakly.

The nurse coughs. “Actually, Dr. Geiszler, I’m afraid there’s no outside food allowed.”

“Right,” Newt says. “Bye, Hermann.”

“Paperwork,” Hermann calls to him.

No one’s been in the lab since before the whole Breach-bombing extravaganza, a whole forty-eight hours, and Newt can’t help but be a bit unsettled by it later that evening when he finally rolls up his sleeves and trudges down dutifully to get a crack on Hermann’s requests. It’s too quiet--too stagnant--like some sort of weird memorial to a lifestyle that’s now as obsolete as the kaiju. There’s a half-finished mug of coffee on Hermann’s desk (the milk gone curdled); Newt’s filthy work tools still in the industrial sink; a bit of kaiju intestine hanging off his work bench, decaying at an alarming rate; Hermann’s last equation, unfinished, on the chalkboard--what he was calculating Newt guesses he’ll never know.

“It smells like shit in here,” Newt declares to no one.

The paperwork about the, uh, legality of their drift Hermann was so eager for him to complete is nowhere to be found--probably because the entire fucking ‘dome is on an unofficial ‘we didn’t die!’ vacation, except for him, and no one has the time to deliver paperwork to two weirdo scientists in the basement--so Newt decides to start cleaning instead.

That’s maybe misleading. Newt does decide to clean, but he never actually follows through on that decision, because he immediately gets distracted by all the fun and interesting stuff in Hermann’s desk. The dude keeps, like, a million Rubik’s cubes on hand. All solved. A miniature chess set Newt thinks they played together once on a slow day. An entire drawer-full of those weird British digestives he likes so much that he almost definitely purchased on the black market. There’s even a photograph of Newt in there--the two of them, together, probably at some Shatterdome party, Newt holding a beer and smiling cheekily at a blushing, disgruntled Hermann.

It’s...kinda cute, actually. Newt props the frame up on Hermann’s desk over a somber Gottlieb family photograph. It deserves to be displayed.

Once he’s exhausted Hermann’s desk, he moves to his side of the lab and actually starts cleaning. He tosses out the decaying entrails--suddenly wishing, a bit sadly, that he’d taken better care of his kaiju specimens, because they just got even rarer--and rinses down Hermann’s grody coffee mug as he debates out what to do with the leftover pile of junk from his drift machine. He also wishes he’d planned ahead and made a back-up: the UN seized Newt’s machine from the Bone Slums milliseconds after Mako and Becket’s escape pods popped out of the ocean, and he has a feeling he won’t ever be seeing it again. Oh well. It had a fucking awesome run.

He’s just finishing washing out Hermann’s mug and setting it on the drying rack when he pauses; his tape recorder is on the kitchenette counter.

Newt recalls his almost-parting message to Hermann with something like guilt. At the time, he’d meant it... Well, he’s not sure how he meant it. As a joke? A weird, superstitious way of ensuring his drift would be successful, because he couldn’t possibly die with last words that bad? He’s not sure he would’ve said it if he knew what Hermann would be doing for him in a few short hours. Frankly, he’s not sure he would’ve said it if he thought about it for more than five minutes.

He wonders if Hermann listened to it.

A bit of the plastic is cracked. Newt thinks he must’ve knocked it to the floor when he started, uh, spasming, and Hermann probably picked it up before he got Newt a glass of water, which could be how it migrated here. He could’ve listened to it then. He could’ve listened to it when Newt headed out to meet Chau, and Hermann sent him off with the awkwardest little hug of all time and a quiet, terse little “Don’t get yourself killed.” He could’ve listened to it before he hopped on a helicopter to the Bone Slums to risk his life for Newt. He could’ve snuck back into the lab without Newt knowing and listened to it any time yesterday, in fact.

Newt rewinds a little and presses play. Despite the crack, it still works.

“Unscientific aside,” he hears himself say, “Hermann...”

He listens to the rest of his message in morbid fascination. Three, two, one--

The loud clatter of the recorder hitting the floor, then the even louder one of Newt hitting the floor. A prolonged period of loud, pained gasps. Before Newt can switch it off, suddenly, to his surprise, there’s Hermann’s voice, out-of-his-mind, frantic--saying his name--what have you done?--low, terrified murmurs of no, no, no--

The sound of the helmet being ripped from Newt’s head and thrown, violently, to the floor. “Don’t,” Hermann stammers, “Newton--you stupid, stupid man--you can’t leave, I--” Fast, panicked breathing. “I love you, you stupid--”

The tape runs out, and cuts Hermann off mid-sentence.

Newt sets the recorder down with shaking hands.

“Oh,” he says.

He knows, in the vaguest sense, that Hermann harbors a regard for him that matches Newt’s regard for Hermann to some degree--he got enough of that in the drift, in Hermann’s too-long too-shy lingering glances across the lab, his too-long too-shy lingering touches, the way he never smiles for anyone but Newt--but hearing it spoken so blatantly out in the open like that makes Newt’s heart race and his stomach feel a little funny, like it’s being twisted up in knots.

Hermann loves him. Like, loves him, loves him.

It’s late, which means there’s only one nurse on duty in medical this time, and Newt manages to use his newfound rock star status to charm his way pass without a problem.

(“Pleeease,” he whined. “Please, please, please--”

“Fine,” the nurse snapped. “But if you annoy Dr. Gottlieb, you’re out of here.”)

He finds Hermann where he left him, conked out in one of the stiff beds with his blankets and hair in disarray. There’s a little bit of drool on his chin. Newt wipes it away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, folds his glasses up on the nightstand, then--after glancing around to ensure the nurse isn’t looking, though it’s dark enough in here he doesn’t think anyone would be able to see him anyway--burrows underneath the bedcovers beside Hermann. It’s a tight squeeze, but they’ll fit.

Hermann stirs. "Newton?”

“Yeah,” Newt whispers. “It’s me.”

Hermann sniffs, then wraps an arm around Newt’s waist. “Jolly good,” he mumbles, sleepily. Newt smiles against his chest. Hermann loves him--how funny. “Do stay.”

“Of course,” Newt says. “You can go back to sleep, if you want.”

“Mm. Yes,” Hermann agrees.

Hermann’s breathing steadily evens out. Newt laces the fingers of his left hand with Hermann’s right, and--still smiling--drifts off to sleep, too.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #mourningroutine

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stannyramirez · 4 years ago

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𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄 & 𝐊𝐄𝐘: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐄𝐘𝐒

❝ Good morning! Think you could turn that off? ❞ ❝ Is it weird that I think you look more like yourself when your hair is dyed in that unnatural color?❞ ❝ I’m actually starting to feel more like myself. ❞ ❝ I decided to make some changes. ❞ ❝ Since when do you cook? ❞ / ❝ Since today. ❞ ❝ I got an amazing night’s sleep. ❞ ❝ I woke up at, like, five raring to go, and this is the result. ❞ ❝ Smells delicious. ❞ ❝ Oh, bacon me, please. ❞ ❝ I got it, Mom. ❞ ❝ I really don’t mind. ❞ ❝ I need to get it there by Tuesday and this kind of organizational stuff isn’t really your thing. ❞ ❝ Oh. I didn’t realize that. ❞ ❝ You don’t have to try and do everything. ❞ ❝ What was that? ❞ ❝ What was what? ❞ ❝ What attitude? I was just being honest. ❞ ❝ So, instead of being passive aggressive like always, you woke up this morning and thought, “I’m just going to be straight up aggressive?” ❞ ❝ I’m not being aggressive. ❞ ❝ You’re not being normal. ❞ ❝ Hey! No fighting in front of the bacon. ❞ ❝ All right, tell me what’s going on. ❞ ❝ You really want to know? ❞ ❝ You have no idea what kind of damage that could do. ❞ ❝ If you haven’t noticed, I’m completely fine. Better than fine, in fact. ❞ ❝ It feels like a huge thousand-pound rock has been lifted off my chest. ❞ ❝ This isn’t a game. ❞ ❝ He ran away from here and never came back. ❞ ❝ I finally feel good for the first time since he died. ❞ ❝ If you wanna hold that against me, fine, but you’re not gonna kill my buzz. ❞ ❝ Damn, this is next level, ________. ❞ ❝ Normally, I’d worry it wasn’t good enough to show anyone, but this time, I thought screw it. ❞ ❝ Yeah, that’s definitely good enough. ❞ ❝ Look, I’m sorry for standing you up. ❞ ❝ It was shitty of me. ❞ ❝ Let me make it up to you. ❞ ❝ I just want you to know that I’m not gonna be sulking and weird about you or this, okay? ❞ ❝ I’m completely and a hundred percent fine with just being friends, if that’s what you want. ❞ ❝ It’s not what I want. ❞ ❝ I like you, and I think we should hang out. ❞ ❝ Let’s – let’s definitely do that, then. ❞ ❝ Why don’t you come over after school? ❞ ❝ To the most haunted place in (city/town)? ❞ ❝ Don’t tell me _____ _____ is scared? ❞ ❝ Yes. I mean, no. Of course not. ❞ ❝ Hope I’m not keeping you from your work. ❞ ❝ I’m sure she doesn’t actually think that. ❞ ❝ She hasn’t spoken in twenty years. ❞ ❝ I’m kinda the only one left. ❞ ❝ Oh, I’m an idiot. ❞ ❝ I’m sorry for bringing all this up. ❞ ❝ Don’t worry, you didn’t know. ❞ ❝ Honestly, it’s weirdly therapeutic being back here. ❞ ❝ I feel like I just stepped back in time. ❞ ❝ No shit. ❞ ❝ Looking for something in particular? ❞ ❝ I’m sure it’s nothing. ❞ ❝ I have a surprise for you, you have a visitor. ❞ ❝ Don’t you have anything you wanna say to me? ❞ ❝ The hell happened to you? ❞ ❝ Well, you wouldn’t believe the bad luck I’ve had. ❞ ❝ You know he’s dead, right? ❞ ❝ Not my fault, by the way. ❞ ❝ Also not my fault. ❞ ❝ You’re not really making this very easy, are you? ❞ ❝ It’s alright. New plan. ❞ ❝ Can I help you? ❞ ❝ Oh, well, I’ll try not to be too offended. ❞ ❝ How’s that hand of yours healing? ❞ ❝ Well, I thought I was good. ❞ ❝ And, as I was laying there, that’s when I decided that what I really wanted to do was be an English teacher. ❞ ❝ That makes total sense. ❞ ❝ So, where are your shadows today? ❞ ❝ Thought I’d try something new. ❞ ❝ That’s exactly my point. New can be very good. ❞ ❝ How’d those traps work out for you? You catch the enemy? ❞ ❝ That’s too bad. ❞ ❝ She still gets sad about him sometimes. ❞ ❝ Bad stuff happened here. ❞ ❝ You can’t protect them. ❞ ❝ When do you wanna meet up? ❞ ❝ If you don’t want to, it’s fine. ❞ ❝ I think that’s a great idea. ❞ ❝ If she doesn’t have her afternoon sugar-free Red Bull, she gets cranky. ❞ ❝ Here, put your number in my phone. ❞ ❝ I want you to hold this chair while I water my streptocarpus. ❞ ❝ High school is the perfect time to try on a bunch of new hats. You get to decide who you are, who you surround yourself with. ❞ ❝ Feels like people pretty much made their minds up about me. ❞ ❝ New kid, dead dad, weird house. ❞ ❝ Look, I know firsthand that grief never gets any smaller, so you have to make yourself bigger around it. ❞ ❝ Open up, let people in. ❞ ❝ I don’t even know where to start. ❞ ❝ You play Cupid with all your students? ❞ ❝ Nah, just have a soft spot for the underdog. ❞ ❝ She keeps it in her sock drawer, don’t say anything. ❞ ❝ What’s in it for me? ❞ ❝ Was something supposed to happen? ❞ ❝ It’s hard to believe you pulled that out of the trash just a couple of days ago. ❞ ❝ Hey, it wasn’t in the trash, it was next to the trash. ❞ ❝ Brought you a little something. ❞ ❝ Perfect, I love it. ❞ ❝ One year, ____. That’s a big deal. ❞ ❝ Different places, different faces. ❞ ❝ You know, uh, you helped me, too. ❞ ❝ When I left home, all I wanted was different places, different faces. I found the best one. ❞ ❝ Did you know that, um, London is home to the oldest section of underground railroad in the world? ❞ ❝ I did not know that. ❞ ❝ Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. ❞ ❝ Allow me. ❞ ❝ Very gentlemanly. ❞ / ❝ I’m English. ❞ ❝ I’ve always wanted to see this place. ❞ ❝ So, you’ve seen the sea caves where them three kids drowned back in the day? ❞ ❝ Kids drowned down there? ❞ ❝ How is it you know all this? You’re not even from (city/town). ❞ ❝ You’d be surprised what people tell you for a free scoop of salted caramel. Trust me. ❞ ❝ So, is your family around? ❞ ❝ Guess we have the whole place to ourselves. ❞ ❝ How about I point you in the direction of my room? ❞ ❝ Hadouken! Sorry, it’s stupid. ❞ ❝ So, I, um, I’m always fascinated by how many things you ladies have. ❞ ❝ Come sit down. I want to show you something. ❞ ❝ But if I show this to you, you can’t tell anybody and you have to promise not to freak out. ❞ ❝ Okay, whoa, what’s going on here? ❞ ❝ And who might you be? ❞ ❝ No, see, I’m hallucinating, right? ❞ ❝ Am I dead? Wait, am I dead? Am I – ? ❞ ❝ How is this even possible? ❞ ❝ Right, so what you’re saying is (sharp inhale) I am dead. ❞ ❝ What I’m saying is the magic is real. ❞ ❝ I figured you of all people would appreciate it. ❞ ❝ You’re taking the piss. ❞ ❝ Where have you taken me? ❞ ❝ I know it sounds crazy. ❞ ❝ Crazy? No, this is beyond crazy. This is absolutely, bloody barmy. This is completely mental. ❞ ❝ Wow, you get a lot more British under stress. ❞ ❝ Come on, this way. ❞ ❝ I knew it. I freakin’ knew it. I always knew. I knew magic existed. This universe is way too complex and random for it not to exist, you know? ❞ ❝ Don’t be so hard on yourself, alright? ❞ ❝ Our brains are imperfect machines. They do all kinds of crazy stuff all the time. ❞ ❝ I mean, look at this place. This is mental. ❞ ❝ And here I was thinking I was the only loser at the library on a Saturday. ❞ ❝ Whatcha got there? ❞ ❝ I didn’t mean for it to come off that way, I just felt like a complete asshole the whole ride home.❞ ❝ Some people consider this stuff chick lit and I hate that term, it’s so sexist. ❞ ❝ Almost as sexist as thinking a guy couldn’t possibly enjoy the work of a feminist romance novelist? ❞ ❝ I didn’t realize you were so funny. ❞ ❝ You do not know what you‘re talking about. ❞ ❝ Well, prove me wrong, then. ❞ ❝ Prepare to have your world shaken. ❞ ❝ I brought a peace offering. ❞ ❝ Phil’s is trash. Don’t let anyone tell you different. These are from Bill’s which is the best. ❞ ❝ Relax, it’s just chowder. ❞ ❝ Mm-hmm, that’s how it starts. Next thing you know, it’s a lobster roll. ❞ ❝ I’m happy for you. ❞ ❝ You know, for the record, I like the new hair. Or, the new version of the old hair? Whatever it is.❞ ❝ What does she want? ❞ ❝ Shit. ❞ ❝ Oh, my God. ❞ ❝ You thought you could stop me? With Double Bubble and a tree branch? ❞ ❝ Give me what I want. ❞ ❝ I’m done playing games! ❞ ❝ You can’t take it from me, can you? You need me to give it to you! ❞ ❝ You think you’re so clever. Well, I can be clever, too. ❞ ❝ Stay tuned. ❞ ❝ I just don’t understand. ❞ ❝ It wasn’t your fault. ❞ ❝ I wish your father was here. ❞ ❝ Mom? I was wrong about what I said yesterday. You were always there for me. ❞ ❝ I’m sorry. ❞ ❝ I’ve been waiting. ❞ ❝ You’re here because of your own mistakes. ❞ ❝ I’m back, like I promised. ❞ ❝ I always keep my promises. The question is, can you? ❞ ❝ I’ll do anything you want. ❞ ❝ You can’t stray from the path this time. ❞ ❝ If we’re gonna be a family, I need to know that I can trust you. ❞ ❝ Can I trust you, ______? ❞ ❝ I’m gonna give you a chance to prove yourself. ❞

#locke & key #locke and key #rp meme #sentence meme #ask meme #inbox meme #vvitchy #lk #meme #q.

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the-hidden-writer · 4 years ago

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An Odd Family Tree

A series of snippets from the lives of the FitzSimmons family, set post 7x13. Also, the series of events that lead up to the birth of their grandson.

Available to read on AO3 and FF.net.

Comments make my day!

Epilogue (1)

.Q.000000073.FS.M. D_01.15.1985_2153. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“So, um, hi. It’s me. This is attempt seventy-three at getting this stupid thing to work, blah blah blah, etcetera. I, uh… miss you, wish you were here, all the usual stuff. Love you.”

“Maybe you should, perhaps, at least consider giving up? This is, as you said, the seventy-third attempt at a successful communication, and since it is taking up a considerable portion of your time-”

“No. No way. I’m not gonna give up now. I mean, you helped me build it! You’re seriously gonna let all that hard work go to waste?”

“That was not what I was implying. You could, instead, view the problem from a different angle.”

“Which angle, Enoch?! You think I haven’t done that already?! This stupid machine already has too many damn angles!”

“If you are counting the inner components then there are approximately-”

“Yeah, didn’t mean that literally buddy. But I guess you’re right. Like normal. Ugh... I kinda wish I’d properly thought about this before I- wait, did you hear that?”

“Hear what exactly?”

“D- there! That beeping noise. You heard that, right? I’m not just going insane?”

“I have noticed that you display multiple symptoms of psy-”

“Hold on, it’s still online!”

“Oh. It is.”

“It- It’s transmitting fine, recording smoothly, sound quality’s decent so remind me to fix that but… it’s working. It’s actually working!”

“Well done. But I do have to warn you that this technology should not exist on Earth in this time period.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. Right, Enoch, I’m gonna need you to get out of here. This beautiful thing is finally working and I kinda wanna use it before it blows up or something.”

“Of course.”

“Uh… in private? Alone?”

“Oh, I understand. You wish to record your message alone. Without me. In that case, I will take your leave, Director Shaw.”

“See you, buddy. Right. Now I just gotta press thi-”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000000074.FS.M. D_01.15.1985_2157. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Um… I… *ahem* This is a message for Leopold Fitz and Jemma Simmons. It’s a for-their-ears-only sort of thing, so if you’re not either of them then… uh… stop listening? No! Actually, if you’re not Leopold Fitz or Jemma Simmons, make sure this message gets to them. Please.”

“...I’m guessing this is Fitz or Simmons listening now. Hopefully both. Well, uh… it’s me! It’s Deke! I can’t believe I finally got this thing to work, haha. Uh… yeah.”

“So… you’re probably wondering what’s going on over here. SHIELD got blown up and- oh yeah, you guys were here for that. Or Nana was I think. It’s been a few years, I can’t remember exactly. Gotta adapt, y’know?”

“Speaking of! The second you guys left I might’ve accidentally become director of SHIELD. Which wasn’t my fault! I was nominated! Besides, I don’t know what was supposed to happen so…”

“Right, how am I sending this message. Funny story, actually. A few months after you guys left, Enoch turned up at my mansion and casually asked if he could murder me. Not our Enoch, by the way, this timeline’s Enoch. And he only wanted to kill me because he said I was this huge anomaly in the fabric of the universe and I could potentially doom humanity by just being here. Which sounds kind of dramatic, but nothing’s happened so far so I’m guessing we’re in the clear.”

“Basically, I managed to convince him that I was a good guy. I told him everything that happened and showed him my scars and everything to get him to believe me. And he did… eventually. He even helped me to build this quantum processor. Since this side is working now, I’m guessing it’ll work on the other end too. I’ve set it up to be like a mailbox that picks up anything that’s sent from the other end, so you won’t have to do the DNA-gene-splitting thing that I had to do to make sure it found you. You’re welcome.”

“It’s only audio for now. The 80s are great, but the technology sucks. And if we wanted to record video then I wouldn’t be able to buy supplies without getting asked about it. Equipment is expensive. Who knew. I’ll try and figure out at least how to send an image because I bet you’re missing my beautiful face.”

“That was the other thing: I miss you guys. It’s strange… I’ve spent most of my life on the Lighthouse and I knew a whole bunch of people there. Then when I came with you guys, sure it felt weird with them not being there, but I never really missed them. Probably because they came from that place.”

“But I miss you every day. Literally, every single day. And I love you. People look up to me here, but I don’t exactly have any family. I’ve got the Deke Squad, I guess, but they’re a different type of family. Not like you two.”

“So um, please send something back whenever you get this. I’ve set it so whenever you send something back, it’ll arrive here straight after I send the message you last listened to. I feel like I’m a time travel master now.”

“So I guess I’ll just… wait here. For your reply. Or just any sort of confirmation that you got this message. I’ll try and send you both a message at least once a week but it’d be great to get something back. I’m looking forward to hearing your voices.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000000079.FS.M. D_02.15.1985_1623. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Hey Nana and Bobo, it’s me again. Here’s the thing- it’s been a month. It’s been a whole month which is making me think that it’s something on my end. I’ll try and find the problem and fix it since I’d hate for your messages to get lost in that weird void between me and you.”

“But, if I’m gonna be honest, I realised that I don’t actually have any way of knowing if you guys made it back or not. Heck, I don’t even know if you managed to stop the chronicoms. And since I thought of that, I really can’t stop thinking about it, and it would really help if you could just let me know. Doesn’t have to be a whole message, just a yes or a no would do. You could even shout at me and I’d celebrate.”

“Seriously, if you’re all dead then… then I’m the only one alive. Again. I know I’m like 40 years behind you anyway, but it feels like the Lighthouse all over again! I got brought back from that and I felt like I’d cheated the system. Like- Like I didn’t belong, and I got out fine while everyone else stayed there and still had to suffer whatever’s going on up there. And this time I cheated because I’m the one who offered to stay behind and so I’m alive again while you’re all dead. I should’ve let Sousa do it, at least then I could’ve died with you.”

“No, no. You might be alive. You’re probably alive. I’m the one who’s… just send me something back. Please.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000000127.FS.M. D_04.13.1985_1829. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Nana, you won’t believe who invited me to a party! Pegs did! She was like, hey, I need you to be a distraction, you’re coming with me. Which is awesome because it’s like the first time she didn’t insult me in a sentence! Yeah… out loud that sounds kinda sad. But it means a lot to me, and I’m pretty sure you were a fan of Pegs or something? Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

“Anyway, so, we went to this party and she said that since SHIELD is safe enough to be publicly known again I’d need to meet some guy that would help with finances. So we’re at this party, and Pegs takes me up to meet the guy. I promise, all I did was introduce myself (I was actually trying really hard to be serious and polite) and I asked his name and Peggy lost it. She literally almost fell onto the floor, she was laughing that hard. Yup, you heard me right. Peggy Carter. Laughing.”

“The guy, Harry I think his name was? No, Howard. Yeah, Howard was his name. So this Howard guy looks super offended and asked me if I knew who he was, and I said no because I honestly didn’t, and then Pegs offered to buy me a drink. I know! And she didn’t even yell at me for calling her Pegs!”

“So yeah, that happened. Since then she’s been smiling at me? I don’t know what I did, so I thought I’d throw it to you two to see if you had any ideas. You can boast to your friends that your grandson charmed over the great Peggy Carter.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001032.FS.M. D_07.12.1988_2306. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Hey Bobo, hey Nana. I’m kinda tired so I’ll keep it short today. The Deke Squad got an award today. It’s funny, I was so busy with SHIELD that I’d forgotten that we had that many fans.”

“Having a double life sounds fun, but trust me it’s hard. Ha.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001051.FS.M. D_10.22.1988_0642. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“I finally finished my first original song! Are you proud of me?”

“Since we won that award, every night I’ve been having visions of Bobo shouting my head off that all I do is steal stuff. So since I’ve been messing with music for so many years, I figured, how hard can it be?”

“...It’s very hard. But! It’s completed, and it feels good that I can at least announce that to someone. Even if those someones can’t answer me back. But that’s fine.”

“The song’s called Alya, and it’s all about family. That was my Mom’s name, by the way. Alya. I can’t remember if I ever told you that.”

“If you want songs about you, then you’ll have to let me know, okay? Cool.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001132.FS.M. D_11.25.1989_1903. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“So, um… Hydra attacked. Big time. We beat them in the end, but we lost a whole bunch of agents. Joe was only nineteen and he told me I was his hero. They shot him in the head, I had to identify his body, and I... And that’s… that’s on me.”

“If only I’d taken that shot when Daisy told me to. I could’ve killed Freddy and none of this would’ve happened. I practically killed all those agents and I… Sorry. You don’t wanna hear this kinda stuff.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001193.FS.M. D_03.09.1990_1903. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m guessing that you aren’t getting these messages so it doesn’t feel as weird to me anymore. And if you are… then I’m sorry you have to hear this. But you’re the only people who I’d want to hear it anyway.”

“Ever since they made me director of SHIELD, I feel like I’ve been faking my way through it. I faked my way through the Lighthouse, I faked my way into money and fame, I faked music for a fake band and I faked knowing how to be a director. I’m just… God, I’m just not cut out for it. People are dying and I can’t stop it. SHIELD needs an actual leader, not a fraud like me.”

“Peggy does a lot, but she’s got her own responsibilities to manage so I get the brunt of it. There’s a few super clever agents that can easily take my place.”

“See, I don’t wanna be director anymore. But if I’m not… I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I don’t have anyone here, I don’t belong here, and I- I’m just nothing when you strip away my lies. And I wish that was an exaggeration.”

“And you know the worst part of it all?! I don’t know whether you guys are even alive! I send you these messages every week and I put my heart and soul into them and they could be just disappearing into nothingness! Then there really is nothing!”

“So… just in case you are listening, I love you. You did so much for me, you gave me a chance when nobody else would. It’s odd saying goodbye to thin air, but hey ho. And if you’re dead, then I guess I’ll see you soo- WOAH!”

“DEKE SHAW YOU LOOK AT ME THIS INSTANT!”

“Hey- Hey, Pegs! What are you doing here?! G-Get out, this is private, this is my house what are you-”

“Shut your idiotic mouth and hand me that gun.”

“Peggy, I-”

“Hand it over, Deke. Now.”

“Fine, here. But listen-”

“No buts, Shaw. Are you out of your mind? What were you thinking?!”

“Director Shaw.”

“Enoch, not you too!”

“Oh. It appears we were just in time.”

“You’re bloody right we were. Thank you, Enoch. You made the right decision coming to find me. Now Deke, you need to talk to me, alright? Whatever’s on your mind. You trust me, don’t y- wait... what is that?”

“This? U-Uh, noth-”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001196.FS.M. D_03.14.1990_1903. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Pegs and Jarvis took me on a picnic the other day. Honestly, the number of times people thought I was their son was hilarious. It was like ten different people. You should have seen the look on Peggy’s face when this girl asked what it was like being a mom to the sensation that is Deke Shaw. I can’t wait for cellphones.”

“They remind me of you two, y’know. Pegs and Jarvis. You’re all super sweet and smart and determined and kind and they just really remind me of you. Well, if you were both super old.”

“...Don’t tell Peggy I said that.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001872.FS.M. D_07.17.1993_1108. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“They just invented Zima! I can finally stop pretending to drink! You guys should both drink it in celebration. It’s a big day for me.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001627.FS.M. D_12.17.1991_2157. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Howard Stark and his wife got killed last night. Peggy and Jarvis are broken. I didn’t know them that well since he kind of hated me, but I feel really bad for his son.”

“I think I might go pay him a visit. See if I can cheer him up. Trust me, getting orphaned suddenly like that sucks.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000001873.FS.M. D_07.17.1993_2351. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“So, um… kinda embarrassing story time. I ordered like 20 crates of Zima, but I couldn’t wait so I went and bought one from the store. And, uh… I couldn’t stomach it. It’s been so long since I actually drank that my body’s given up on me just like everyone else. Which is fine by me, but…”

“Now I don’t know what to do with 20 crates of Zima.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000002309.FS.M. D_09.12.1995_1342. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“So some alien woman crashed into Earth this week. It was a pain to sort out, but I sent Coulson and some guy called Fury on the case. Fury has a cool name, but he’s a bit mean sometimes. I guess it’s fitting.”

“Oh yeah, I recruited Coulson. I decided to steer Mack towards more traditional engineering since I’m guessing he’d get sick of SHIELD. I got May though. It’s weird being older than them all and not being able to say anything.”

“Anyway, apparently the alien woman might be Kree? I hope not. I really, really hope not. ‘Cause if she is… well, something about this whole situation already rubs me off in the wrong way. Just… I didn’t wanna hear the word ‘Kree’ ever again.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000003295.FS.M. D_05.21.1998_2126. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“We broke up the band today. We had a good run. I wish you could’ve seen us perform at least once. Miss you.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000003995.FS.M. D_01.01.2000_0034. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Happy new year! We’re in the third millennium now so I’m catching up to you! Yeah, I know that’s not how it works, but a boy can dream, right?”

“I tried drinking again but it didn’t work out. Oh well.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000005617.FS.M. D_11.04.2008_1738. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Little Tony turned into a superhero. Iron Man, they’re calling him. I feel like storming into his house and yelling about how much danger he’s putting himself in. He could get himself killed, and then what’ll I do?!”

“...Is this how you guys feel all the time? I don’t like being the responsible one.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000010007.FS.M. D_05.30.2012_1519. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Coulson is dead. I- I killed Coulson. There were all these aliens that turned up and we had to try and get the heroes to work together and I asked Coulson and Fury to help a-and that bastard trickster killed h-him. I want to kill him with my bare hands.”

“The heroes teamed up and stopped the invasion. I d-don’t really know why. When I heard about Coulson I just locked myself in. Tony said they fought for me, but that makes no sense.”

“I just… I can’t believe I screwed up so badly. Coulson was supposed to have a good few years ahead of him! H-He was supposed to bring the team together! I’m too old for that now, and I’ve messed up. I’m s-so sorry, but I… Coulson’s dead.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000010015.FS.M. D_06.22.2012_1712. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“I’ve decided to retire from SHIELD. I really, really can’t do this anymore. Besides, I can barely sit up straight. Fury can take over. I just need time to think.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000132907.FS.M. D_01.16.2059_1712. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Getting old is such a pain, right? Dr Dunphy said my time’s starting to close in on me now, and that just sounds so weird to me. All my life I’ve been hopping through time and death just felt so distant. Like I was immortal or something.”

“Guess we know that’s not true.”

“Now’s as good a time as any to surprise you, then. Back when I first met Enoch, we built an LMD version of me. Surprise!”

“Ha, bet you’re not that surprised, are you. Especially you, Bobo. This quantum bridge is just about strong enough to let one person through. Only problem is that once that happens, there’s no chance of communication from either way. And plus I was running SHIELD back then, so I didn’t get the chance to get back.”

“So when I do kick the bucket, Enoch will switch it on and help me get to you. I know it’s a bad thing to say but… I’m really excited to die.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000138056.FS.M. D_04.01.2061_0932. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Happy birthday to me… h-happy birthday to me… happy birthday dear De-eke, happy birthday to… to you.”

“I hope… I hope he has a better life than I had. Give Mom and Dad a hug from me. Do you think… my Mom and Dad will be there once I go? Does the afterlife have timelines? Ha…”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000138058.FS.M. D_04.05.2061_1002. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Enoch asked me whether… whether I wanted my life memories or just my… 1985 memories. I don’t want that version o-of me to have all these memories. I don’t want h-him to know he k-killed Coulson…”

“Calm down, Mr Shaw. Try and make sense for your memoir, okay?”

“B-But then I wouldn’t be able to tell you the stories. There’s so many stories I want to tell you, so… he’ll use these memories. There were good times too.”

“I c-can’t wait to see you, Nana, Bobo. See you soon.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

~-.-~

.Q.000138059.FS.M. D_04.10.2061_1425. STATUS:[Online] [communication_input]

“Hello, Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons. My name is Enoch. I am a sentient chronicom from a planet that revolves around a star in the constellation you know as Cygnus. I regret to inform you that your grandson, aged 107, passed away this morning.

“As per his final request, I have sent an LMD version of Deke Shaw to what I believe is your timeline somewhere within a 10-mile radius of your location.”

“Goodbye.”

COMMUNICATION_TERMINATED_

STATUS:[Offline]

#agents of shield #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d.#aos #deke shaw #enoch #peggy carter #fanfic #an odd family tree

8 notes · View notes

your-iron-lung · 4 years ago

Text

La Chasse au Loup - 1

available to read on AO3 HERE

Story Synopsis: All things considered, there’s a lot of strange things a man could find in the back-bush of his own farm, rural as it may be. Some of it he could be aware of and do his best to work around, but a lot of it went so far under the radar it almost wasn’t worth thinking about. Mostly it was animals- a goat or a sheep that hadn’t been bedded down proper wandered out overnight and didn't wander back come morning. Turned up the next day in the bush in a strange, disemboweled sort of way.

It's coyotes that do it, Wayne reasoned. Wolves, maybe, but whatever it was it certainly wasn't anything living under his very nose.

Chapter Word Count: 3133

Pairings: (background, minimal) Wayne/Daryl

Genre: Dark/black comedy with a lil bit of drama

Next Chapter: 2

Chapter Warnings: blood and some bones being kinda funky, but nothing graphic

Notes: now, i know what youre all thinking. youre thinking, ‘duke, what are you doing! dont start another werewolf fic while youre still tryingta get no shade done!! are you coocoo banans or what!’ and the answer is yes

yes i am

(tho this is supposed to be short and funny and its mostly all written out anyway. this first bit is a lil dark but i swear to GOD its supposed to be funny. pls believe me. pls laugh.)

-------

THE STORM

The storm that hit the farm was one that the local meteorologists had been nervously talking about for days, warning both farmers and locals alike to start taking serious precautions against it. ‘Make sure your delicate crops are appropriately cared for, and be sure your livestock have a proper, sturdy shelter to take cover in, because, folks, this is going to be a bad one.’

Spring storms often were. Wayne’s mother liked to put it in his head when he was younger that it was because the winter and summer seasons used springtime as a battleground of sorts, fighting it out like gods from some old mythos. Spring storms, as she put it, happened because winter was taking too long to leave and summer was quickly growing impatient. Their clashes turned violent fast, and that's how spring got a reputation for its disastrous weather.

If his mother were still alive today, he was sure that she’d say this storm was going to be a real battle for the ages. It was winding up to be one of the worst the area had had in awhile, aiming to hit Letterkenny in the dead of night when its people were at their most vulnerable.

Should probably just surrender there, bud , he sometimes found himself thinking whenever he heard new reports regarding the storm, each incoming update worse than the last.

Expect heavy gusts of wind and moderate to severe structural damage, quoted the forecasters. Hail was guaranteed, and it was going to bring plenty of thunder and lightning with it. The rainfall was expected to be heavy, so be wary of localized flooding. Isolated tornadoes would be a strong possibility- make sure there was a way to receive alerts if one should pop up.

“With the way they’re talking, you’d think the sum’bitch was gonna be rainin’ fire and brimstone on us,” McMurray grumbled one day, and Wayne found that he agreed that they might be talking it up a little bit. He couldn’t remember a time when an unnamed storm warranted so much precaution.

Wayne’s thoughts on the impending weather notwithstanding, he understood how important the farm was to his livelihood; he and Katy depended on it to get by, so if there was any sort of threat to it that could be prevented, then it was only right that they ought to do something about it. Nothing worse than being caught with your pants down, so to speak.

With the enlisted help of Dan and Dary, they’d gone around reinforcing all the windows and barn doors, checking for any fundamental flaws in the integrity of their buildings while Katy went around making sure the crops that could be saved were secured before extending that same courtesy to Dan’s estate. It was hard work, and they were all bedraggled and worn out from all the extra hours that had to be put in on top of everything else they’d been dealing with as of late, but they all felt a little more secure from their efforts.

(They’d paid special attention to fortifying The Garden as they’d worked on making sure the farm was secured; they couldn’t risk its contents being exposed, and if anyone asked why it warranted so much focus, well, they had to protect Dan’s perennials.)

By the time the storm finally rolled into town with its thick, voluminous black clouds slouching ominously towards Letterkenny to be born, Wayne again found himself mentally calling for its surrender. All his blustering with McMurray left him feeling slightly foolish as he stood out on the back deck of his small home to face the bastard’s approach, lightning already beginning to flare out of the clouds to illuminate itself against the backdrop of a rapidly darkening evening sky.

He wasn’t a man who’d ever really been affected much by storm anxiety, but as he stood there thinking about it, flicking his unfinished dart away, he reckoned he might be feeling it now.

(Although, to be fair , his anxieties weren’t because of the storm itself, but rather, were in anticipation of the storm’s aftermath and what it might dredge up. Things had been oppressively ominous around the farm the past few months, and of course it was only suitable that a storm of this magnitude should serve as a catalyst; he just hadn’t yet figured out what it was a catalyst to.)

His mind weighed down with his thoughts, Wayne turned his back on the stormfront and stepped inside as the first strong gust of wind surged past him, slamming the door shut after him with a loud bang.

The suddenness of its closure made him flinch, and the uneasiness harbored in his chest squeezed tightly for an instant. Gus jerked up from where he’d been sleeping by the door and whined pitiably at the noise. Wayne crouched down as he stepped by him to pet his head reassuringly as the distant, Delicate Sound of Thunder announced the storms arrival.

“Oh, it’s alright,” Wayne muttered lowly in a babying tone before stepping away, ignoring the miserable way Gus plopped his head back onto the tile with his eyes turned nervously towards the door.

He peeked his head into the living room to check on Stormy before making his way upstairs, mentally going over the emergency plans he’d made with Katy and Daryl (who lived with them now for safety’s sake) in case the worst should happen: where their emergency supplies were stashed, which one of them was going to round up the dogs, and where they were all going to go if a tornado should whip up.

They were as well prepared as they could be. All that was left to do was sleep through it; there was choring that needed to be done in the morning, and a man needed his rested energy to do them efficiently, impending doom or no.

The door to the guest bedroom where Dary had been staying was uncharacteristically shut when he reached the upstairs landing. Wayne stopped by it and considered checking in on him, but decided against it before settling into his own room and getting ready for bed, where he laid sleepless for hours, listening to the storm as it came to town, bringing all its rage with it.

The wind outside wasn’t just howling as it blew past, but screaming , screeching like a mateless fox in the night. Every thud and thunk of debris as it slammed against the house had him calculating the damages in his mind ( casualties of a seasonal war), leaving him to wonder if his barn would even still be standing by the morning.

But if not, then it could be rebuilt, the livestock replaced. It would be a financial hit, sure, but all the family animals were inside, and unless a tornado really did come bumbling through, then everything would be fine. Stock could be replaced; his family couldn’t, but they were all safe and accounted for. If he stayed awake worrying about it, then he’d be too tired to make any needed repairs by the time the storm finally did peter out.

He inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to ease his mind, and felt all the stored up tension he’d been holding slide out of his body. As he focused on the machine-gun rhythm of the heavy rain hammering down against the roof, he could almost tune out the screaming gale, and adjusted to the aggressive white noise as being something soothing.

Later, he wouldn’t remember falling asleep; it was only after he woke up that he’d realized he’d even slept at all. He woke up feeling disoriented, his phone pinging an alarm at him from where he’d set it down. Grabbing it, he checked the tornado watch alert and then set it back down, an anxious little curl forming in his stomach.

He sat in bed, alert and awake despite feeling as though he hadn’t gotten more than about an hour’s worth of sleep. Something wasn’t right, and it wasn’t just because the storm was still there and lingering, thrashing Letterkenny hard enough to provoke an early morning alert.

It was preternatural, the way it was lingering, hovering over his home as though it had some sort of vendetta against them.

A loud bang came sharply and abruptly, capturing wholly Wayne’s attention. He fixed his head in the direction it came from and heard muffled voices coming from somewhere downstairs. The howling wind rushing by his bedroom window masked the urgency with which they spoke, but all the same he was able to understand that something bad must have happened sometime in the night.

Had the barn collapsed? Was a funnel cloud forming? He hoped that whomever it was pounding their way hurriedly up the stairs wasn’t about to tell him someone he knew had been hurt.

The door to his room slammed open, banging against the wall. Katy stood there in the opening, breathing hard, her face shadowed by the darkness of his room.

“ It’s Dary,” she said urgently, panting. Her slender form, backlit by the hallway light, was visibly shaking.

He didn’t have to be told twice. Wayne sat up in bed quickly, shucking the blankets off of himself so fast that he flung them straight to the floor as he came to a stand.

“What’s the fuss?” he asked as an eerie sound came drifting up the stairs behind her. She stared at him with dazed eyes before turning her head to the side to listen to it as it crept up from down the stairs, and before he could kindly ask what the fuck is going on, she turned around suddenly and left.

He listened to her footsteps race down the hall and back down the stairs, utterly alarmed. Her panic was uncharacteristic and unnerving, spurring him into action as he heard another loud bang emanate from downstairs. He took long walking strides as he made his way after her, subconsciously coming to realize that the sound that had lured Katy away was of someone moaning.

Katy’s voice, shrill, disappeared as someone ( Squirrely Dan , he realized belatedly once he was halfway down the stairs) furtively whispered to whomever it was that was making that awful, miserable moaning that it was going to be okay.

“You’re alright, Dar. I gots you, I gots you.”

Making it to the downstairs landing, barefoot and full of purpose, Wayne turned towards the kitchen where all the noises were being made and was stunned still by what he saw.

There was blood everywhere . Splattered on the floor, on the furniture, and in the center of a small pool of it was Dan, cradling Dary’s limp, motionless body amidst the overturned dining chairs. Wayne’s mouth dropped open, his eyes blinking hard as he both tried to get over the shock of what he was seeing and processing it all in the same second.

Dan looked up at him when he stepped close, pale-faced and covered up to the elbows in runny blood, fresh and staining his denim overalls a dark, grotesque burgundy. All Wayne could do in that moment was stare, even as he realized that what was making that horrid noise was Dary.

Dary, who looked ridiculously small as Dan held him in his trembling arms. Dary, who was naked and coated in blood and viscera, looking more like a newborn than a man. Dary, whose eyes were open wide but rolled back and blind, exposing nothing but red-veined white as his mouth hung limply open, releasing that droning moan in one continuous breath.

One of his hands was clutching at Dan for support, and his legs-

“What the fuck,” Wayne choked out, because as he stared down at him, he could see that both of Dary’s legs were hideously broken.

“I don’t knows,” Dan gasped, his bearded face wet with tears. “I don’t knows what’s happening.”

“Where’s Katy gone?”

But before Dan could even respond to him, her screams supplied the answer.

“Gus!” He heard her screech, her voice pitching wildly as she screamed furtively into the wind. “ Gus !”

Though it was hard, Wayne managed to tear his eyes off of Dary to turn towards the backdoor, alarmed to see that it was hanging weakly off its hinges, rustling as easily as a leaf in the breeze, opening a portal into the horrific grey rain that came in to splash against the linoleum. A flash of lightning illuminated her briefly as she stood in the yard shouting, her hands cupped around her mouth as she screamed for Gus over the sharp crack of accompanying thunder.

In the back of his mind, all Wayne could think of in that moment was of the tornado alert. All their precautions had been tossed aside, and if disaster struck now-

Well, it almost wasn’t worth thinking about.

Leaving Dan and Dary in the kitchen, he rushed out after her, striding into the snow and mud barefoot to grab her roughly by the arm, her hair whipping around in the harsh wind in long wet strands that struck at his face.

“Inside!” he bellowed, trying to pull her back towards the house.

“Gus is out here!” she cried out hoarsely, pulling her arm out of his grip. “He’s out here, Wayne! He got out when Dary came in! Gus! ” she continued to scream, heedless of the danger she was putting herself in.

Wayne’s heart sank as he both saw and felt the desperation in her voice. He looked around briefly, trying to discern if he could see any sign of where his beloved dog had gone, but it was impossible to see anything in the torrential downpour.

Freezing water flooded down his face in such strong streams that it was all but blinding, such that he had to squint hard to keep the rain from inhibiting him totally. He could barely see Katy between the hard pouring streaks of rain even though they were only standing a few feet apart. If Gus was out there, then he was lost.

“INSIDE,” he ordered again, even though it hurt him deeply to do so, but for as much as he loved that dog, he couldn’t risk losing her over him. Katy let out an exhausted sob, but let Wayne take her by the wrist and sternly guide her back to the safety of the house.

As they rushed up the steps and out of the rain that was slowly turning to hail, there came the sound of a frightened dog hiding from underneath the porch. Wayne had never felt such relief as he did as he saw Katy to safety before sprinting back down the wooden steps, nearly slipping in the slush as he did so. There was a spot of latticework that lined the back-porch that he’d been meaning to patch up that smaller, wild animals had been using for shelter, and as he rounded the corner to it, he found Gus there lying in a terrified heap.

Ignoring the cold and the muck and the mess he was making of himself, Wayne wasted no time dropping to his knees to grab Gus and roughly drag him out of his little cove of protection. He was shaking badly as Wayne effortlessly tucked him up into his arms, carrying him back into the house with his whimpers in his ear. He held Gus by the collar for a moment as he tried to situate the door back into place before releasing him, letting him bolt into the living room to shake himself dry and hide.

Soaking wet and breathing heavily, Wayne wiped the water off of his face and unknowingly streaked mud across his forehead before returning to Dan’s side, who still sat with Dary in his arms. Neither of them had moved from their position on the floor, but even as Wayne tried to re-fix his attention on what happened to Dary to see where all that blood was coming from, he noticed something that didn’t make any sense.

When Wayne had looked him over before, his legs had been terribly broken in such a way that they'd looked almost digitigrade, the bones cracked at unnaturally sharp angles that seemed to strain against his skin, but now they looked like they were-

And even as he stared down at them, the noise Dary was making suddenly keened and Wayne was able to see the bones in his legs shift, moving back towards what accounted for normal with a sickening crunch.

“Wayne,” Dan whispered, terrified. “Wayne, I don’t knows what to do here.”

Well, that makes two of us, Squirrely Dan , he thought hysterically to himself.

“Just- fuckin’- I don’t- just- just take him upstairs,” Wayne barked, speaking too harshly in his confused panic. He honestly had no idea what to do; didn’t even fully understand yet what was even going on, but even as Dan flinched at the initial command, having some sort of direction seemed to solidify his resolution. His round face lost its helplessness in a quick second as he nodded resolutely at the order. Wayne helped him situate Dary’s unconscious, lax body into his arms before getting to it, tromping heavily up the stairs with dutiful purpose, handling the extra weight expertly and trailing blood behind them.

Wayne watched them go before turning his attention to Katy, who had picked up one of the overturned chairs and was now sitting at their table, her head in her hands. Her hair, stringy and loose from being in the rain hung in long, miserable strands, masking her face in a way that was reminiscent of a Japanese ghost.

“Where’s Stormy?” Wayne asked, throat clenching uncomfortably at the thought that she, like Gus, could’ve gotten loose and was out there in the storm somewhere. The sounds of the wind howling and threatening to blow the kitchen door down were more disturbing to him now.

“Locked in the bathroom,” Katy replied tersely, holding an unlit cigarette in her trembling hand.

“In the bathroom,” Wayne repeated with a frown, turning his head in the downstairs bathroom’s direction. The inside light was on, and from the slight crack under the door he could see the shadow of Stormy pacing anxiously by the entrance. “Well... what for?”

“She attacked Dary when he came in.”

“What?” With so much to process, Wayne was struggling to understand this strange sequence of events, such as they were. “She attacked him? What was he doing out there?”

“He wasn’t… he wasn’t right when he came in,” Katy said, her whole body shuddering at whatever memory she’d recalled. Before Wayne could ask her what she meant by that, exactly, she elaborated further, saying, “Wayne, it’s him . The sasquatch, wendigo, fucking thing. Killing all those animals. All those people- Wayne, it’s Dary. Daryl.”

#too lazy to format correctly just click the ao3 link #letterkenny #letterkenny fanfic #wayne/daryl #werewolf!dary #dark comedy #black comedy #teeny tiny mentions of gore #this is supposed to be funny but all i know how to write is drama and horror #everyones unaware #theyre just all so fuckin oblivious #samsquantches are involved #dont tell the trailer park boys

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saikostories · 4 years ago

Text

MHA - Dreamless Nightmare pt2

“No way,” Denki sputtered as he wheezed, choking on his own laughter while mindlessly hitting Kirishima on the back.

“Dude there’s- There’s no way!”

His pure hysterical joy was infectious and the rest of the class couldn’t help the slight chuckles and amused smiles that came with the sight before them.

“I- Don’t make fun of him, it’s a very manly thing to be scared of! Kinda?” Kirishima tried and failed to stay serious as he too fell victim to the explosive laughs that accidentally ended up covering Sero in a flurry of spit.

“This isn’t real! This can’t be-” Mina fell off the couch in a mess of breathless giggles that had Momo and Jirou needing to harden their resolve in attempting to suppress their own bottled up laughter.

Tsuyu was hiding her face in her hands, avoiding the scene in futile attempts to not laugh at a classmate.

Even Todoroki and Tokoyami, two of the most stone-faced students, were chuckling under their breath.

Bakugo was sitting in a backyard.

The grass was beautifully kept and the picket fence in the background was freshly painted a clean white that dazzled under the sun and, under any other circumstance, would’ve been blinding if not for the anger that drew everyone’s attention to the centre of the yard.

Kacchan sat in a chair that was five times too small, arms crossed with sheer rage making his eyes twitch as a sparkly blue cone-shaped party hat looked out of place on his head.

Toddlers sat scattered around him gathered about a present covered table, drooling as they laughed and babbled things none of them could hear.

There weren’t any adults in sight, and it almost looked as if Bakugo was in charge of the kids which made the ridiculous set-up even more hilarious.

Izuku hid a smile while Uraraka was turning red with the amount of effort she gave while trying to hold in her laughter.

Kacchan suddenly yelled something at the window that fell on deaf ears and one kid started crying sending the whole class into a wild frenzy of laughter.

At this point even All Might was laughing at the odd spectacle.

Holding up his hand to silence his students he pressed the button as everyone hopelessly tried stifling their amusement.

Instantly they were met with the incoherent sounds of children rambling and light hearted giggling, the one kid who started crying had stopped and was now using a crayon to colour on Bakugo’s shirt.

All Might cleared his throat as the class shushed the remaining few who were still laughing, “Young Bakugo?” His voice wavered and everyone could hear the undertones of struggle as their own teacher was giving it his all not to laugh, “Is there a problem?”

It was as if a timer went off and with a twitch of his eye Bakugo blew up, throwing the birthday hat on the ground with so much force that the thing dented as he stood up physically smoking with anger.

The poor kid who was innocently doodling on his shirt was knocked backwards with the sheer intensity of the sudden movement and sent to the ground a sprawling mess as Bakugo exploded.

“FUCK YEAH THERE’S A FUCKING PROBLEM!” He screamed, his entire face a fuming mass of pure anger.

“The damn machine is fucking broken! I’m not scared of this shit!”

“Who the hell would be scared of these snot nosed shitty brats!” Kacchan snarled as the kids, like a domino effect, all started wailing and sobbing at the top of their lungs.

“Shit! They’re so fucking loud!” He shouted while covering his ears in futile attempts to distance himself from the onslaught of children’s cries.

Izuku grinned, a distant feeling of nostalgia bloomed at the sight, “Kacchan never does change does he?” He unknowingly said out loud and Bakugo exploded yet again.

“What the hell did you say Deku!? I heard that you shit!” He screamed as his hands popped with loud mini explosions that seemed to terrify the kids more.

“You think this is funny don’t you! You all think this is funny!”

“Now Bakugo my boy,” All Might interrupted, knowing that if he didn’t cut them off then an obvious fight would break out, “The program hasn’t made any mistakes yet and I doubt it has this time.”

Kacchan clicked his tongue ready to argue why that was pure bullshit, but before he could All Might hastily continued, “Being scared of something doesn’t necessarily mean you’re terrified. Having a fear can also be something that you would never want to experience, and in this case the thing you don’t want to experience is dealing with toddlers.”

Bakugo seemed to accept All Might’s explanation like a punch in the face as he begrudgingly pulled up his miniature chair and sat back down.

The kids had settled down by now, most of them sniffling loudly while going back to the activities they were before his episode.

The only one who hadn’t was the kid from before, who sat on the grass sobbing quietly with a broken green crayon in his hands.

It was clear to everyone that Bakugo didn’t know what the hell to do. He looked like a fish out of water with the awkward way he sat and his gaze that shifted between each kid like they were some kind of foreign entity.

Izuku knew what would happen next, Kacchan wasn’t good with children, or anyone for that matter. He didn’t have the gentle personality or patience that was needed to handle them and when Kacchan didn’t know what to do he got defensive.

And well.. When he got defensive.

People get hurt, usually unintentionally but still.

He knew Kacchan wouldn’t hurt the kids outright but..

A frown formed on Midoriya’s face as his eyebrows furrowed. There was no way he’d be caring and comfort them, or even try playing with them, he was way too prideful for that.

That meant he’d have to do something to get them to like him?

Anything a normal child would do was immediately out of the question. Even talking wouldn’t work because Kacchan would just end up cursing the kids out and scaring them further.

Maybe entertaining them?

But his quirk wasn’t the safest, or the most child friendly.

It would’ve been helpful if he could attach his explosions onto things and make them blow up, but he could only cause current explosions.

Unless..

Suddenly Izuku had an idea, there wasn’t a one hundred percent guarantee that Kacchan could do it, but it was the best option he had!

Wait.

His face suddenly fell flat as he was struck in the head with a sudden reality.

The only problem was, Kacchan would never agree if it was him to suggest it..

Uraraka gave Deku a side glance, quietly watching the way his face would suddenly go from confused thought, to wide-eyed excitement as he realised something, then to stupefied frustration as whatever it was he realised came with some sort of catch.

“Hey Deku,” she whispered nudging him with her elbow breaking his concentration and causing him to look at her like a deer caught in headlights.

“Ah, sorry was I mumbling again?”

“No you’re fine, you realised something didn’t you?”

Izuku nodded, a concerned look in his eyes as he gave a half smile, “I think so, but Kacchan wouldn’t listen to me.”

He laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his head as he suppressed the urge to suddenly yawn.

All this thinking was wearing him out.

“Then how about you ask someone who he would listen to?” Iida jumped in and Izuku felt a little bad at momentarily forgetting he was there.

In his defence, he was forgetting a lot of things today, like how simple and obvious Tenya’s idea was.

It was such a basic conclusion that Midoriya was a little ashamed he didn’t think of it sooner.

“Yeah! I think that’ll work!” He thanked Iida and quickly turned around to the Bakugo couch.

He quietly waved over Kirishima, trying to catch the redhead’s attention as Eijiro paused to gesture to where Kacchan furiously sat.

Their eyes met and Izuku gave him a pleasant smile, but Kirishima seemed to think he was just saying a hello and waved back before turning to Kaminari and continuing their conversation.

His hand was still mid-air and he cringed so hard that he suddenly didn’t feel tired anymore as he facepalmed while subconsciously wishing he could go back to the five seconds when he didn’t do something that awkward.

‘I don’t know how much more embarrassment I can take today,’ Izuku muttered to himself without much thought as he mentally tallied up all the awful moments that would haunt him for eternity.

“Hey Midoriya dude? You okay? You wanted to see me right?” Kirishima’s voice dragged him from of his little moment of internal death and he looked up confused.

Todoroki sat in the background giving a thumbs up with his expressionless face and Midoriya gave a silent thanks to his friend while internally promising to take him to eat soba once the lesson was over.

“Oh, yeah, okay I have an idea to help Kacchan,” He said, all embarrassment gone as he stood up ready to plan.

“So, he doesn’t really like me very much-”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Sero! You can’t just say that!”

“Well it’s not like it isn’t true.”

“-He doesn’t like me very much,” Izuku reiterated, ignoring the side conversation that started up.

“But he’s friends with you so he’ll at least consider what you have to say versus completely ignoring or doing the opposite of what I’d suggest.”

Kirishima nodded his head along, “Okay I get it, you want me to tell him what you want to, I’ll be like your carrying pigeon!”

Izuku shook his head before pausing to think and giving him a nod, “Well yes, but I was also wondering if you could give him tips about kids? I do have a plan, but maybe you’d be able to convince him so we won’t need it?”

It was a hopeless idea, but hey if anyone could get Kacchan to bottle up his pride it was Kirishima so it was worth a shot?

The mere idea of suggesting kid-like things to Bakugo was immediately shot down as Eijiro deadpanned, a look of dumb helpless confusion practically emitting from him, “I don’t know anything about kids?”

“Wait what do you mean? Don’t you have a bunch of siblings?” Izuku cocked his head, he could have sworn that Kirishima came from a big family?

“Well yeah, but I lived with them, I don’t know how to play with any random kid?”

“Okay okay, so just I guess,” Izuku felt like he was all scrambled up and at a loss, “Alright let’s just go with your carrying pigeon idea, I’ll write down what to say and you can just tell Kacchan?”

Kirishima pumped his fist in the air with a big grin showcasing his sharp teeth, “All right! Let’s help Bakubro!” He laughed jokingly as Kacchan simultaneously pushed a kid away so violently that the poor girl fell over like a tumbleweed.

Quickly Midoriya got Momo to make a sheet of paper and he scribbled so fast that you could practically see a thin line of smoke trailing off the pencil.

“Iida could you hold down the microphone?” He asked after finishing his plans, “I don’t want to accidentally slip up.”

Tenya jumped up with a happy smile at being asked to help again and bounded over, awaiting further instructions.

“Okay Kirishima?”

“Yup I’m ready!”

“I’ll hold the notebook up so you can see it, Iida thanks for your help, you can start now.”

The class watched, anticipating how quickly things would go sour. The same students who made bets on All Might’s fear started a new round with how long it would take him to figure out that it was Deku’s idea and not Kirishima’s.

Jirou personally thought he’d be too dense to ever realise.

All Might had a grin as he watched from the sidelines, he knew this wasn’t the most action packed exercise or even the most interesting lesson, but it made him proud to see his students overcoming these problems even if it wasn’t something like fighting a villian or saving the world.

“Ah-” Kirishima cleared his throat, catching Kacchan’s attention as his head snapped up, “Hey Bakugo, how’re you doing?” He said lamely and they could hear Kaminari choke as he tried not to laugh at how awful that intro was.

“Fucking fine, what does it look like!?” Kacchan glared at the window where he thought Kirishima was and Izuku mentally sighed again.

“Now what do you want I’m busy!?”

'Busy at not knowing what to do,’ Izuku thought thinking of the ten minutes spent watching Kacchan just sit awkwardly.

“Yeah sorry, okay look I’ve got a plan-”

Bakugo interrupted with a suspicious tilt of his head as one of his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“You? You have a plan?” He asked with heavy sarcasm weighing down his words.

“Yeah I can come up with plans too you know!”

Kirishima huffed with so much authority that Bakugo actually looked as if he believed it, even some of their classmates had to remind themselves that Eijiro was only pretending.

Izuku couldn’t help the small smile from pulling up the corners of his mouth in excitement, this was actually going to work!

“Okay Shitty Hair let’s hear it.”

“Hey my hair’s not-!”

“I said let’s fucking hear it!”

“Okay okay, so you’ve gotta entertain the kids right?”

“I don’t fucking know you tell me!?”

Kirishima ignored him and continued, squinting at the jumbled up words that Midoriya was holding up.

“So how about you.. Er.. Blow stuff up for them?”

Izuku hastily shook his head at Eijiro’s attempt at paraphrasing and pointed at a crudely drawn diagram with wide eyes as he wordlessly mouthed something that Kirishima couldn’t exactly understand.

“Wait wait! No that’s not what I meant! Uhh- Okay, no you have to blow up, Wait? Dude is that a tree?”

Izuku sighed in defeat as the class broke their momentary vow of silence and laughed at Kirishima’s amazing acting.

“Hey dumbass?” Kacchan asked with a seriousness that chilled the entire room silencing the exchange of bets that went on in the back.

Kirishima looked as if he were a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar as he nervously cleared his voice, “Yeah? Bakugo buddy?” He asked, his voice cracking slightly giving away the obvious guilt of lying.

“You wanna tell me your plan again?” Kacchan put all emphasis on, 'your,’ and any thought that maybe they’d get away with it was completely and utterly blown to bits.

“Uh yeah, it’s umm, well it’s actually for Deku to tell his plan!”

And with that Kirishima backed off as he gave an apologetic smile to the helpless Izuku whom he just threw into the lion’s den.

He admitted it wasn’t exactly the most manly thing to do so before he went back to his seat he gave a heavy sigh, “Look Bakugo, I know you don’t like him, but at least hear him out, it’s a good plan.”

“Put the fucking nerd on.”

Kirishima frowned and tried his best to say sorry as quietly as he could before walking back to the couch to watch this train wreck unfold.

“I can hear you Kacchan,” Izuku said, his voice unwavering.

“I want it known that I didn’t fucking ask for your help, I don’t need your help. I never have. Never will.”

Midoriya held back a sigh and took that as his willingness to listen.

“Okay look, you’ve got to entertain these kids but your quirk is way too loud for them- It’ll just end up scaring them and making your situation ten times worse.”

Kacchan grunted in agreement but remained quiet.

“But kids love explosions, like fireworks, they love the destruction and you can use that. Find something small like an acorn or stick, it doesn’t matter as long as you can make it disintegrate with your quirk.”

“Coat it in your palm’s nitroglycerin and flick the object in the air as hard as you can, you’ve got to be careful and make sure you send it flying with a lot of force so it won’t blow up in your face. The speed should delay the explosion just enough to have it explode in a distance that won’t scare the kids.”

Izuku finished quickly, he’d said everything so fast that it left him breathless and dizzy.

Everyone was silent for a moment, the only sounds were the chattering of the children as they ran around the table blissfully unaware of the discussion at hand.

The tension was unbearable and the entire atmosphere held it’s breath for what Bakugo was going to say next.

Seconds ticked by until Kacchan’s frown grew more defined and he let out an angry sigh.

“I’ll do it.”

“But not because you fucking suggested it, it’s because I don’t have anything better to do.” He growled as he stood up and stretched his legs.

Izuku had an unbelievably happy grin plastered to his face, Kacchan didn’t shut him down immediately, in fact he listened to him!

He felt a proud feeling take root in his chest, his standing with Kacchan had clearly improved. He’d never be close enough to be actual friends, but this was at least a step forward in that direction.

Both him and Iida returned to the floor as they watched Bakugo eye the sobbing kid’s broken crayon.

Within seconds Kacchan snatched it away making the kid cry even more with the aggressiveness of his action, but Bakugo paid him no attention.

Holding the crayon tightly he eyed the window with a glare and mouthed something they couldn’t hear. Though with the way his mouth moved it almost looked like he said his name..

'He’s probably threatening me again,’ Izuku thought as he watched Kacchan throw the pieces into the air. As soon as they left his hand the crayons suddenly exploded in miniature bursts that rained down green wax which caught the sun’s light and made it look like sparkles fell from the sky.

The kids all stopped and watched with wide eyed amazement as the sparkle shower dusted them and it looked like they cheered as Kacchan smirked and grabbed a handful of crayons, throwing them one by one into the air.

Red and orange pieces of wax exploded like golden rain and a great big grin pulled up the corners of his mouth as he stood in the glittering remnants.

The kid who’d fallen before raised his arms up at Kacchan as if asking to be picked up and Izuku fet his stomach sink.

Kacchan was definitely going to yell at the kid..

But to his surprise without a second though he was placed on his shoulders.

Again another crayon was thrown and the children all looked as if they were having the time of their life with how excitedly they jumped up and down, clapping as the purple wax coloured their already messy clothing.

The kid on Kacchan’s shoulders reached his tiny hands towards a flake of blue and as his fingers touched the wax snowflake the entire scene dissolved and Bakugo was left standing in the concrete room with confused shock.

All Might pressed down the microphone with a wistful look on his face as if he’d just seen something from a dream, “Great job Bakugo my boy! You conquered your fear in more ways than one! I’m very proud of you!”

Bakugo huffed but it was clear he enjoyed the praise as he silently walked through the door and back into the waiting room.

“One word about any of that and I’ll send you all to fucking Mars,” he threatened the whole class but there was no real heat to the threat as he took his seat back on the couch’s arm.

“Because it’s too difficult to choose, I’ll let Young Bakugo here decide who goes next!” All Might laughed as everyone eyed Kacchan with sudden piqued interest.

“Sero.”

“Wait what!? Why!? I don’t want to go next!” Sero complained as Kaminari and Kirishima both laughed at him.

“I heard you laughing,” Kacchan replied with an evil smirk.

“Yeah well everyone was!”

“I heard you laugh more.”

“That doesn’t make sense!”

“Tough shit, you’re going.”

Sero’s arguments fell on deaf ears as he begrudgingly got up, Kirishima gave him a comforting pat on the back as he smiled an evil toothy grin.

“Better you than me!” He laughed as a sudden menacing presence popped up beside him causing him to freeze.

“Actually, I was going to have a friendly chat with you next.” Bakugo cracked his knuckles as Eijiro paled, a look of joking terror flashing across his face.

Sero smirked while he made his way through the sea of classmates, laughing at Kirishima’s own nervous chuckling.

“Better you than me~”

***

Everything felt cold.

It was a chill that made him shiver into the freezing feeling, craving an escape from that heavy claustrophobic heat that made him feel so weak and tired.

His head felt fuzzy and feverish, and the strange cool was comforting even though it was such an intense sharpness against his heated skin.

It was like..

It was like he was chasing something he couldn’t see, something that he couldn’t grasp, he didn’t have a clue what it was except it was right in front of him.

Actually, he didn’t even know if it was in front of him at all!?

It was so dark he couldn’t see, but that feeling, that awful feeling of fear consumed him, chasing him, or was he chasing it?

He wasn’t sure..

Unknowingly he groaned, shifting into the cold as if it were the only thing keeping him alive.

The only thing keeping him sane as he relaxed into it.

“〱A? H?”

There was something there, something with him in the static fuzz that felt clearer than the rest.

“YI*ŒL-”

It felt as if he could reach out and just about.. If his arms were just an inch longer.

“..%-~*”

Almost.

’Please!’ He whispered out, begging the- Whoever it was, whatever it was, to just let him catch it. To let him see.

Some gut feeling told him that if he reached it- If he just got a little closer- Then-

“JW SB BA-#!”

Izuku jolted awake, gasping as a loud explosion echoed off the walls rattling his already aching head.

Whatever dream he had faded away nearly instantly and he was left with a gaping empty feeling as he blinked in confusion.

“Where?” He mumbled, sleep still heavy in his thoughts as the terror of being forced awake subsided to feeling like a distant memory, and he relaxed back into the cushions comfortably.

'Wait…’ He thought, a slow realisation dawning in his foggy head, 'Cushions?’

“You fell asleep halfway through Sero’s fight, we thought you would be more comfortable here.”

“Oh,” Izuku muttered again as if it was the simplest explaination ever. Closing his eyes he sighed into the cold feeling, resting his forehead against the icy fabric mindlessly grabbing at it to pull that comforting coldness closer.

“Thanks Tod'roki,” He slurred, rubbing his face along the cold, craving the relief it gave as the unbearable heat fell away a little bit more with the movement.

“You’re welcome.”

A second passed, Midoriya was silent as, like a distorted jigsaw puzzle that a kindergartener was trying to put together, everything started clicking.

His eyes suddenly flew open in an embarrassment that was so overwhelming that, 'Embarassment,’ was too light of a word, and without moving he looked around trying to get a grasp on what happened.

Most students were sitting or standing around chatting, across the room Kacchan and Kirishima were teamed up against Sero and Kaminari in an intense foosball match that probably was the reason he woke up with how enraged and into the game Kacchan was getting.

He couldn’t see the training room without turning his head, but he heard some of his classmates cheering on whoever was in there.

Everything was normal..

At least..

Until he looked over and saw he was hugging Todoroki’s arm as if he were some kind of expressionless stuffed teddy bear.

He already knew when he connected the dots moments ago.. But it was a million times more real when he saw his own fingers intertwined in Shoto’s uniform, his arm interlinking with his own as his head rested in the crook of Todoroki’s elbow comfortably.

It was as if the sudden scene caused him to shut down internally as steam practically flew out of his ears.

Izuku’s face flushed ten shades of red as he jumped up, jerking his arm away and holding both hands raised in a gesture of innocence as he leaned so far away that he lost his balance and fell backwards onto the empty side of the couch.

“I- I” He stuttered, biting his own tongue as he felt a heat so overwhelming the room spun together in shapes of warped colours.

Everything was moving so fast that he didn’t even have time to fully grasp his situation as he tried regaining control of his own voice.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” Midoriya finally managed to get out so quickly that it was practically incomprehensible.

Todoroki just stared at him, his usually unreadable expression broken by a small eyebrow raise that was mostly hidden behind his bangs.

“It’s fine, are you alright?” He asked equally as monotoned as his concerned gaze.

Izuku cleared his throat, suddenly painfully self-aware at how awkwardly stupid he was being. Shoto hadn’t moved a muscle as he flung himself away, acting as though he were the plague.

It just startled him, well, actually it was a huge shock to find himself all cuddled up to Todoroki.

“I’m uh, fine,” he gave an awkward laugh as he picked himself off from the couch, pausing for a minute as the room slowly stopped spinning, and sat back down. Though it wasn’t even a fraction of how close he was before.

“Sorry.. I didn’t mean to freak out,” Izuku scratched the back of his head awkwardly, his face still a flushed mess.

Shoto’s stare hadn’t wavered a second while Midoriya was settling down, which only unnerved him more.

“That’s alright, are you sure you’re fine?”

Izuku gave a quick nod, the heat in his cheeks burning into his forced smile.

“Yeah I’m good, but uh, would you mind telling me how I got here? I don’t remember anything after Sero opened that casket and found a mummy?” He laughed again, a bit more naturally now with the vague memory of Sero standing face to face with a wrapped up mummy.

Shoto turned away after a bit of a pause, it was as if he was searching Izuku’s face for something and Midoriya felt even more awkward.

'It’s like he can see right through me,’ he thought as he shifted a bit on the couch. The last thing he needed right now was for someone to find out about him being sick.

He generally didn’t know at first with the excitement of the morning, and any sluggishness he did feel, any uncomfortableness, he just thought it was sleep deprivation and ignored it.

But now his head suddenly pounded as if a hammer was hitting him repeatedly and he felt so flushed that he generally wanted to forgo his pride and cling back onto Todoroki’s arm again.

Finally Shoto let out a sigh, it was quiet but Izuku still heard him and it only fuelled that unsettling sickening feeling that Todoroki knew.

Turning away he looked towards the window, it looked like Jirou was doing the exercise, but he couldn’t exactly be sure?

“You started dozing off,” Todoroki started without warning and it startled Izuku from his thoughts as he unconsciously turned to look at Shoto despite himself.

“You couldn’t keep your head up, so when All Might said everyone didn’t have to watch so intensely we moved you to the couch, Bakugo left when Kirishima dragged him to play games over there.”

He made a gesture with his head towards the foosball table.

At the moment Kaminari and Sero were losing miserably as Kirishima effortlessly blocked an oncoming attack, sending the ball straight to Kaminari. Unfortunately Denki thought he was blocking it but actually turned the wrong players and knocked the ball directly into his own goal, earning him an evil all mighty grin from Kacchan and a exasperated look from Sero. He was just guessing, but it seemed like that hadn’t been the first time Denki did that.

“Wait? What do you mean, 'we?’ And hold on how long was I asleep? And how did I- well, I mean, how did I end up, you know? Using you as a- I guess.. A pillow?” Anxiety flooded his veins making him jittery as he rubbed at the back of his palms absentmindedly.

God this was so awkward.. At least Shoto had such a straightforward air about him that eased his embarrassment just a little. If Todoroki was just as awkward as he was- He almost shuttered at the thought.

“Iida was going to move you, but I offered to help since you were sweating. I didn’t have anything to do until my turn and you looked uncomfortable,” again Shoto looked at him with that knowing stare and Izuku had to look away out of guilt.

'He knows something, is it the dreams? Did I say something? Does he know I’m sick?’ Thoughts flitted across his mind so quickly that he almost didn’t hear Shoto with how intensely he was obsessing over it.

“You slept through everyone aside Jirou’s currently, and Kaminari’s-” Izuku blanked, a look of stunned shame crossing his face and he looked down at his hands mortified.

“I missed the whole training exercise,” he muttered, a heavy feeling pulling down on him as he felt completely miserable.

'This isn’t any different than missing class,’ Izuku thought bitterly as he felt a wetness glazing over his eyes. A flash of pathetic anger consumed him in a split-second and he rubbed at his stupid eyes roughly.

'Why am I like this!?’ He thought, that heart wrenching anger directed solely at himself as a gloom overtook him.

'Everything was going so well! I felt fine!’

'I hadn’t fallen asleep in class all week!’

'I don’t even remember crashing! Why did it have to be now?’

'So much-,’ the sudden memory of Kacchan’s door last night plagued him in that short moment of thinking and Izuku felt a million times worse, ’-for handling it better..’

'It would’ve been better if I just did-’

A coldness shocked him from his thoughts and he looked with wide eyes as Todoroki stared him down again, his hand brushing the hair from his forehead as if checking his temperature.

“Did your fever return?” He asked and Izuku froze.

“Fever? What fever? I don’t have a fever I feel fine!” He laughed as he begrudgingly pushed Shoto’s hand aside, the sharp cold felt so nice and he hated to give that up, but he had to ignore this.

If he didn’t, and All Might found out..

His heart clenched at the mental image of his disappointed face, that was one thing he could not handle.

Shoto just gave him that same look that made Izuku’s paranoia skyrocket.

“Okay.”

They were silent again which only made Midoriya die inside with the amount of awkwardness he felt.

Trying to avoid the situation he turned towards where Jirou was standing in front of what looked like a bowl.

It seemed she was standing outside a door at night, it looked like some run down house with the way the porch light flickered as moths flew around menacingly.

He couldn’t see too much since so many people were watching, but he did notice that she hadn’t moved since he last glanced over.

Uraraka was currently at the mic giving some advice that he hadn’t heard but a snippet of, something about it being okay? And he swore he heard her say candy but that couldn’t be right?

In an instant Jirou’s hand shot out as an ear piercing shriek blasted through the room followed by electronic cackling.

Ashido and Kaminari locked eyes and immediately burst out laughing, snickering as an unbelievably embarrassed Jirou stalked back into the room as the door whooshed open, her arms crossed as she glared daggers into everyone- Especially Denki.

“Was that?” Izuku questioned, trying to figure out what he just saw.

“Was that one of those Halloween bowls? The ones that scare you when you reach out to get the candy?” The only reason he even was able to figure that out was because of the lack lustre Halloween decorations strung out throughout the scene and the muffled music that played faintly in the background.

“Yeah.”

…

'Come on Shoto! You’re my best friend and all, but you’ve gotta give me more to work with than that!’ He thought hopelessly as they were plunged into another awkward pause of silence.

Izuku half wondered if Todoroki was maybe.. Pouting? Or at least was being quieter than usual because he didn’t admit to being sick? Or something? Maybe he actually did offend him when he pulled away so quickly!? He didn’t mean to! He was still only half awake and-

All the worrying he was doing only made him feel sick as he sat in silence.

“S-” He paused his face reddening again as he felt the whiplash of embarrassment from stuttering, “Sorry, I know you were just trying to help, I didn’t mean to jump like that.” He couldn’t meet Shoto’s eyes, knowing that his friend was looking at him so intensely that he could physically feel it.

“It’s fine. It didn’t bother me.”

A simple answer for a simple person.

“I- Well I just want to thank you, I’m not sick I-” Before he could come up with a good enough lie, Uraraka bounded over with such a happy smile that it shut down whatever he was going to say.

“Deku you’re up! That’s great! We were starting to get worried!” She beamed as Iida followed from behind with an equally happy atmosphere.

“Good afternoon! Did you have a good nap?”

Izuku smiled widely, “Yeah! I don’t know why I was so tired!” He laughed as he felt that same intense staring boring into him and he knew it was Shoto again.

“That’s alright! I sometimes feel like that too!” Uraraka laughed as she bounced onto the couch, her hair fluffing upwards as she sunk into the cushions happily.

Iida gave a stark nod as he sat in between Todoroki and himself, something which Izuku was secretly glad for, “I don’t usually feel that way in class, but I understand most students normally do,” he said with a shrug and Izuku smiled, more so from the relief of them interrupting his and Shoto’s conversation than anything else.

If he was left just a little while longer with him..

Midoriya felt a shiver run down his spine at the thought, knowing he would’ve had to admit to being sick, or at least, admit to whatever it was that Shoto knew about.

A small part of him was terrified that he knew about his nightmares.. But that was impossible, he wasn’t usually a sleep talker and even if he was it wasn’t like he’d say anything to make anyone worry?

Yeah! It couldn’t be that!

“Deku are you alright? You don’t look so good?”

Midoriya tensed up, a look of fear crossing his face for a split second as he regained his composure and smiled a wide, horribly noticeable, fake smile, “Yup! I’m fine just a bit tired is all, you know how naps are!” He laughed again and even though all three of his friends gave him a look, they chose not to press it.

“Anyways what did I miss? Sorry I slept through your training Uraraka, how’d it go?” He added, a guilty feeling lodging in the pit of his stomach as he watched Kaminari say something to Jirou that caused him to get punched in the arm.

“That’s fine! We were right, my fear was a ghost!” She grinned triumphantly as she huffed with pride, “I remembered what you said about them not being able to touch you so I just stood there with my eyes closed and it eventually went away all on its own! It was awesome!”

Izuku tried to match her enthusiasm but it was hard, despite his nap he was still painfully worn out. The only difference was that now he had a bit of a boost to keep him going.

“That’s great! So what happened after Sero?”

“Quite a lot actually,” Iida pushed up his glasses as he got ready to summarise practically the entire day, “Kirishima went after Sero, he was afraid of chickens, Aoyama had a bad hair day, Uraraka went next, you know how that went-”

“Then Tsuyu! She had a ghost too!” Uraraka interrupted, an excited sparkle in her eyes as she grinned, “Only her ghost looked way scarier than mine! It was all disfigured and gross looking, there wasn’t any blood though but it was still scary!”

Before she could continue, All Might called out from where he stood off to the side, “Kaminari will be going now, then Young Midoriya and we’ll be done for the day!”

An excited cheer resonated from the students as they grinned, some voicing out their elaborate excursions for the rest of the day, and some just wanting to go back to their rooms and do nothing.

“Wow, how long did the training take?” Izuku questioned as the chatter died down.

“Surprisingly not long at all!” Uraraka beamed again, a happy aura radiating from her, “Actually we haven’t even gone to lunch yet! Everyone was really quick, some people only took seconds like Todoroki! He had this creepy looking doll and without even thinking about it he hugged it, he was out faster than it took him to enter the room! You should’ve seen the look on his face it was terrifying! He must’ve been super motivated to get back here!”

The sickening feeling returned as sweat perspired on Izuku’s forehead from sheer nervousness, though his fever probably didn’t help.

He had this empty feeling rolling around in his stomach from the disappointment of knowing he missed all of this.

It felt like a generally fun training exercise, everyone was having so much fun and laughing, playing games, enjoying seeing and helping each other.

And he fell asleep.

'What if I take up too much time?’ The thought suddenly crossed his mind with the feeling of tainted milk as it was like he was dropped from a building.

'What if I’m the longest time out of everyones?’

'Everyone’s so excited to get done and have a free day..’

'I don’t even know my fear- How can I hope to fight it?’

With each thought his stomach dropped more and more making his skin itch with the sudden stress he felt with being last.

“This hasn’t happened before,” he thought with a frown as he took hold of his hand, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turned white, 'I’ve never been this scared of a training exercise before? Why am I so scared, what am I even so scared of!?’ It was a pathetic thought that he hadn’t realised he’d voiced out loud with his unconscious muttering.

“Okay that’s it.” Uraraka put her hands over Izuku’s, causing him to jolt with the sudden warmth.

“Wha?” He paused, a shaking smile returning to his face as he suddenly returned to reality.

“Izuku you need to go to recovery girl!” She huffed loudly and pointed with a fierceness that left him speechless.

“You’ve been out of it all day! Actually no. You’ve been out of it all week! You look awful,” he winced but she continued without stopping, “You’re sick aren’t you? Your face is so flushed and you’re shaking! We’ve all noticed it but hoped you’d go on your own, or at least would tell us about it! And now you just mumbled about something never happening before!? Izuku Midoriya we are your friends, you can talk to us!” She poked him in the chest, trying to get it through his thick skull that he didn’t have to shoulder everything on his own.

Izuku’s mouth felt bone dry, his tongue too heavy to even refute as he looked between her, Iida, and Todoroki, each of them having a look that backed her up.

“Please,” she begged and Izuku had to look away with the amount of guilt he felt, “We’re worried about you. We’ve all felt horrible seeing you like this and knowing you’d just lie to us about being fine.”

“You’re our friend,” Shoto added, reiterating what Uraraka had said before with the slightest smile, but it was enough to make Izuku chuckle, his anxiety slowly disappearing as his breathing relaxed.

“I- well,” he paused as he felt a sudden surge of warmth. It wasn’t at all like the sickly heat he experienced earlier, it was calm and comforting, and it made him smile. “I think you’re right, I’ll go talk to All Might about it,” He felt a relief at the thought, it was strange, he was trying so hard to keep going and felt awful, but the minute he accepted he needed a break it was like the weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Uraraka breathed a sigh of relief, like a mother having just won a painful argument with her exhaustingly stubborn toddler, “Good, you could make up the exercise sometime else, you need sleep!” She added as Iida also nodded, “You can’t do everything, it’s good to take a step back every once and awhile.”

Uraraka aggressively agreed as Izuku stood up, a sudden rush of black clouded his vision and he shook his head with a smile as he stretched, working the sleep away from his arms.

Before he could even take a step forward a coldness gripped his arm preventing him from going anywhere as he looked back, Shoto’s eyes made him nervous as his friend stared at him with a seriousness that made the light cold on his wrist all the more chilling.

“Are you okay.”

His mouth moved, whispering the words so even though Iida and Uraraka, as close as they were, couldn’t hear.

Izuku’s blood ran ice cold, his eyes wide as he felt his heartbeat suddenly quicken with the realisation that Todoroki knew.

He didn’t know how, but he knew.

A second passed, Midoriya was in a cold-sweat of shock, not knowing how to respond. He couldn’t tell them, he couldn’t say he was having nightmares like some elementary school kid!

He was going to become a pro hero!

He couldn’t have nightmares!

Plus they were his friends, his precious friends, it wasn’t like they could help him with this when he couldn’t even remember a single nightmare. It would only make them feel worried and he didn’t want that.

“Thanks but I’m fine!” He grinned, putting his heart into the smile as Shoto released his grip on his arm, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

As Izuku turned away rubbing the spot where Todoroki held his arm as if he could see it, he heard Uraraka behind him.

“What was that all about?”

“Nothing.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, if Shoto knew (which Izuku was just about near positive he did) he wasn’t going to say anything.

The sound of electricity hummed through the air and Izuku’s focus was drawn to the training room. Everyone had grouped around the window with the growing excitement and cheers of the second to last student.

Kaminari was flailing around, electricity emitting all around him in a low buzz as his strange dance caused a flurry of laughter to emit from the spectators.

Somewhere along the line the students had placed a paperweight on the button so they wouldn’t have to keep holding it down.

“They did that during Tokoyami’s run, he was after Tsuyu,” Iida spoke up from the couch, Izuku hadn’t gotten but a couple of steps before he got distracted with Denki’s exercise.

“Oh, I guess I’ll sit and watch and then talk to All Might,” he said with an awkward laugh as he sat back down on the couch.

“Did everyone keep the speakers on?” He asked as he watched Kaminari fail to stomp on a very agile spider.

“Yeah, we found it was easier and most people were super curious! It’s so strange when you’re actually in there, if you don’t remember where you came in from it’s so easy to get disoriented!” Uraraka grinned before continuing, “So Tokoyami’s turn came and originally he wanted the speakers off, and his fear was trying to solve one of those puzzle cubes-”

“A Rubik cube?” He added and without missing a beat Uraraka responded.

“Yup! That’s the one! Anyways he had to solve that but of course he didn’t know how, so he actually needed help but couldn’t contact anyone and it took like twenty minutes before everyone noticed!” She laughed again and Izuku gave a grin at the thought.

“So how’d he solve it?”

“Well Momo knew the trick to it so she replicated her own to follow along, but it was so funny trying to get Tokoyami to find the window! He couldn’t remember where he came in from so we were all trying to direct him and it was like a giant game of Marco Polo!”

Midoriya couldn’t help but feel that twang in his heart from the regret of missing this. It sounded so fun, at the very least he got to see Iida and Kacchan so he couldn’t be too upset, but still.. He missed so much in the span of several hours that it couldn’t help but hurt.

“I’m actually quite surprised you didn’t wake up,” Iida added once Uraraka had finished her rant, “Bakugo had blown up several times, when you first fell asleep he went off and nearly started a fight with Todoroki, had All Might not stepped in and reminded them of the delicate control panels they probably would’ve destroyed the room.”

Shoto and Uraraka shot him a look that went right through Izuku as a flash of guilt flickered in his eyes.

“Oh well.. That’s just Kacchan!” He laughed but that didn’t disguise the disgusted feeling he had with himself.

“Wait Izu-” Uraraka was cut off when a physically smoking Kaminari pridefully burst through the door, a tired but exceedingly happy look on his face as he gave a thumbs up.

“I didn’t burn out this time!” He shouted and was nearly knocked over as Kirishima and Sero flung themselves on him, just as happy as he was that he didn’t fry himself silly.

Bakugo just scoffed and said something that was drowned out by the sea of cheers.

Izuku felt his anxiety flare up, feeling sick again as All Might quieted the excitement, “Great job Kaminari my boy! You’ve managed to regulate yourself without it leaving you incapacitated!”

“Now settle down!” He called, looking at Ashido who was picking on Denki again, “We have one more student and then all of you can take a day off!”

Before giving them time to cheer All Might gestured to a nerve wracked Midoriya, who went pale with all eyes on him. He felt more flustered than anything before when he was going to talk with his mentor.

Uraraka gave him a comforting look that screamed, 'Go on, tell him,’ as he shifted uncomfortably.

“Actually, um,” he started, a shy look crossing his face, “Would it be alright if I made up the exercise?” He wanted to avoid giving the details of why, hoping that maybe All Might would somehow allow him to get out of it without questioning his reasons, even though it sounded so unbelievably lame and his face flushed up in embarrassment.

When he looked up All Might’s eyes had softened tremendously and he was smiling a comforting smile.

“Yes that’s more than all right! I’m proud of you for knowing your limita-”

“What a fucking Hero you’re going to be!” A voice spoke up amongst the supportive eyes of his classmates that made Izuku visibly frown.

“Hey Bakugo lay off he’s worn out.”

“Fuck you Shitty Hair! We’re all fucking worn out! Why the hell does Deku over here get special treatment!? We’re the ones pulling through and he’s wimping out at the last second!”

“Bakugo!” All Might called trying to silence him but Kacchan was in such a heated rage he didn’t even care.

“It’s fucking pathetic! He slept through the whole thing like a damn baby, we were the ones who had to wait! And now he’s suddenly not going to do it anymore!?”

A slow thin frost had covered part of the room as the air dropped several degrees, “And? What’s so bad about that.” Shoto asked without even caring for an answer as someone somewhere whispered a, 'Not again,’ as Bakugo turned on the couch with a fury.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SA-”

“STOP IT!”

Deku exploded, standing up from the couch, his fists balled tightly to his sides as a drop of sweat rolled down his face with each huff of breath he gave.

It silenced every single person in that room.

“Young Midoriya?” All Might questioned after he gave a bit of a hesitant cough.

Izuku no longer felt dizzy, he may have still felt overwhelmed by heat, but that didn’t matter as long as he could survive it. What did matter was that Kacchan was right and he knew it, he was wrong to be swayed, and he was wrong to think he was due a break.

Heroes don’t take breaks.

“Kacchan’s right,” he said with determination as his eyes steeled while still looking down, “Everyone’s tired, everyone’s exhausted, it’s wrong for me to ask to make up the exam-”

Protests erupted from his classmates but that didn’t stop him, even though the worried looks from his friends made him feel a pang of guilt he continued.

“I’m doing the exercise.” He said with such determination that All Might had to sigh as a sad look crossed his face.

“All right, but Midoriya,” Izuku looked up meeting his teacher’s gaze, “Don’t overdo it.”

With a silent nod he pushed past the crowd of classmates, feeling all of their stares on his back as he breathed in deeply, closing his eyes as he pushed his feeling of fear deep down.

'It’ll be alright. No one had anything bad, no one got any villains, no one got anything scary, it’s only been lighthearted! It’s suppose to be funny!’ He tried comforting himself but he didn’t find any real comfort in his thoughts.

“You got this Deku!” Uraraka called out, standing up on the couch to make herself even louder and a wave of encouragement followed him as he gave a quick look back, a smile on his face as he looked right at Kacchan, “Thank you,” he wholeheartedly grinned, his eyes sunken in from exhaustion, as he stepped into the blank room.

If it weren’t for Kacchan, he’d have let himself do something he would’ve regretted. Being the only one to not complete a training exercise just because he was tired? That wasn’t the makings of a good hero at all.

As the door shut behind him his classmates all looked through the window with worry.

“He’s going to be fine right?” Momo asked with a strange look on her face.

“Of course! This is Deku we’re talking about! He’s awesome!” Kaminari grinned as the whole room seemed to relax.

“Yeah- Yeah! You’re right he can do anything!

"His fear’s probably talking to a hot girl or something!” Mineta jumped with a huff and even though no one was a real fan for his jokes, it did lighten the mood tremendously.

“If it’s fucking Deku it’s going to be some lame shit like butterflies,” Bakugo suddenly spoke up with an evil half smirk as he stalked over to the other empty couch and flopped down taking over the whole seat.

“He’s scared of fucking everything, this’ll be a breeze,” he said as he shifted around making himself comfortable.

“You shouldn’t have said what you did though,” Tsuyu croaked, voicing what practically everyone was thinking.

Bakugo blinked, the whole class- Even All Might, expecting him to blow up or yell at Tsu, but he just turned around avoiding her.

“Fucking mind your own business,” he muttered before going silent.

“Man this atmosphere is heeAavy!” Ashido’s sudden voice wavered, singsonging the word as she snaked through the crowd of people, a maniacal grin on her face that made all but Jirou and Momo wary.

“Say Denki!” She called with a laugh and Kaminari looked at her as if she held a bomb in her hands.

“Wait Ashido I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this now?” Jirou muttered but Ashido payed her no mind.

“What are you up to you kitchen killing alien?” Denki questioned giving her a side eye as Mina fainted innocence.

“Hey now my cooking is great! I’m not scared of cooking whatsoever! The computer just got it sooo wrong!” She grinned as several people who were drawn to her spectacle rolled their eyes.

“Actually I wanted to show you something?~ As a thank you for, 'Cheering,’ me on during my turn!~” She hummed as Kaminari sweat dropped.

He knew she was planning something, even without Kirishima whispering in his ear about how she obviously had something up her sleeve, but he didn’t know what..

“Minnaa come onnn,” He elongated the words for as dramatic of an effect as he could muster, “I was joking!~ Joking! You’re an awesome Uh- Water boiler! Yeah! You boil the best water!”

Ashido waved a finger in his face making a, 'Nuh-uh,’ sound as her grin widened and she held out her hand, “Here! Take it!~”

With suspicious eyes Denki put his hands out, cupping them under Mina’s without thinking as his curiosity outweighed the thought he probably shouldn’t’ve done that.

“His name’s Fuzzy! He likes warm hugs and long walks on the beach!~”

It was then Kaminari connected the dots far too late as Ashido dropped an ugly, huge, evil looking brown tarantula into his hands.

His shriek wasn’t nearly as loud as the sound of his electricity uncontrollably sounding off, his friends around him flung themselves out of the way as a field of lightning threatened to electrocute them.

Flinging the spider as far as he could, he stumbled over his feet falling back on the one thing that they had all sworn they’d be careful around.

His hand connected with the panels in slow motion, no one had time to do anything as a metallic shrieking noise filled the entire room as Kaminari’s own electricity was being forcibly drawn from his body.

He screamed as the tech blared loud beeps and alarms that were drowned out in the horrific blends of noise that overwhelmed the room as the panels were being overloaded with power.

Students were blown away unable to say anything with the force of the electric pulses, and All Might could do nothing except shield nearby students as electrified pieces of shrapnel flew off the panels in randomised bursts of explosions.

In the haze of noise no one heard the small, 'Computer star-’ that was drowned out as the thunderous conglomerate of high pitched static exploded.

The lights hummed with power as one by one they shattered, raining glass down on everyone as they screamed.

Plunged into darkness the only thing they could see was the illumination of Denki being used as a living light bulb before suddenly with another loud popping noise even that light went out and Kaminari crumpled onto the floor with a loud thud.

The sudden silence left ringing in their ears as the tornado of noise came to a stop.

“Wha-” Uraraka coughed, the burnt smell of melted rubber and other unknown mechanical substances charred together filling the room with the hissing smoke that emitted from the panels.

“What happened?” Someone else finished her thought but in the pitch black dark no one could exactly tell who it was.

“It’s all right! Everyone, everything’s all right! I am here! Yaoyorozu, can you create something to light up the room for us?” All Might called out in the dark, startling students with his loud booming voice that seemed to come from nowhere.

After several minutes of shuffling silence a dim light illuminated Momo’s face as she held up a lantern.

“Is everyone okay?” She asked without knowing what answer she even expected, the lantern she managed to produce didn’t have much light to it. If she stretched out her hand and still held the lantern she would lose sight of it even though it was still so close.

“Hey Todoroki?” She called and received a quiet, 'Yes?’ From somewhere across the room.

“If I make some candles would you be able to light them?” She questioned knowing the lantern wouldn’t be bright enough to light the whole room even if she made a hundred.

A sudden quiet fwoosh of noise later and Shoto was faintly visible in the flickering orange light of his flame. He only ignited his finger, just barely enough so that he could be seen on the other side of the room.

“Yes I can do that, if you can throw the candles over to me I’ll start lighting them.”

“Okay great! Hold on guys I’ll have some lights made soon.”

“Alright, now just what the fuck was all that!?” Bakugo yelled immediately from where he’d been forcibly thrown off the couch in the confusion.

“Calm down everyone! Let’s let Miss Yaoyorozu create more light sources while we assess our situation!” All Might shouted with a clap, “First off I will call out each of your names and please give an indication of your situation!”

“Aoyama?”

“Beautifully present,” there was a muffled up cough before the voice sounded off again, “Oh and I’m doing just great, my hair got charred and I’m covered in dust but I’m just fine.”

He sounded annoyed but no one interrupted as All Might went through the roll call one by one, everyone miraculously without any severe injuries, until getting to the very last name that everyone was internally worried about.

“Kaminari?”

Silence, it was an awfully painful silence that scared All Might to his core as he cleared his throat and tried again.

“Denki Kaminari? Are you alright?”

Again there was no response and as much as All Might wanted to walk around and check on all the students personally, without much light there was the concern of stepping on students. With the shattered glass everywhere even if he did only lightly step on anyone, it could still do damage.

“Den- Denki?” A shaking voice questioned in the dark and it was clear by the guilt ridden worry that it was Ashido.

“Hey fucking sparky, you’re wasting our time say something you idiot.”

“Well he’s not gonna want to say anything with you yelling at him like that.”

“Shut up tape face or I’ll blow you fucking sky high!”

“That wasn’t me!”

“Wait shut up!” Jirou yelled silencing their banter as something in the dark shifted, and with it she heard another fainter noise that she only barely managed to pick up.

Several seconds passed and-

“Yee~”

The whole room breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank god I thought you finally kicked it,” Jirou muttered feeling the exhaustion of worry give way.

“Ah he’s fried again!” Kirishima chuckled as they received another half hearted, 'Yee,’ noise.

“Fucking shitty sparky ass if you were awake say something sooner!”

“Awe Baku you really do care~”

“Fucking hell! Who said that!? Sero was it you!?”

“NO! Why do you always think it’s me!?”

“All right! That’s enough!” All Might sounded off silencing the batter that sparked off, “It seems like everyone is here except Midoriya, we’ll have to try to contact him once we get everything in order. Yaoyorozu how many light sources have you managed to make?”

“I have a handful of stick candles right now, I’ll try to make more but for now it’ll have to work,” she said as she gather up her candles, “Todoroki I’m going to try throwing them at you, sorry if I hit you.”

“You won’t hit me.”

With a nod that no one could see, Momo threw the first candle, trying to be as gentle as she could while still getting it to the other side of the room.

A smacking sound of something hitting flesh echoed throughout the quiet room as the slight light coming from Todoroki jolted and went out.

“Um, Todoroki are you alright? That sounded like it hurt?” Uraraka asked, ignoring the fact that Bakugo was hysterically cackling away in his little dark corner.

“..Yes I’m alright.” His voice came after a heavy pause and even with lacking any emotion, everyone could hear the embarrassment.

Without wasting a second he lit the candle, the wick sparkling and sizzling as the flame came to life engulfing the darkness around Shoto in a brilliant light.

“Whoa I can see his whole body! You can even see the mark where he got hit wit- Oh wait that’s just his scar.” Someone somewhere said in amazement and despite the awkwardness everyone had to admit they were right.

The candle light was really bright, even for an ordinary candle it was still strange the way it glowed white instead of a yellow or orange like Todoroki’s flame.

“I used magnesium in the wicks when I made them, it takes a little longer but they’ll burn brighter and won’t blow out easily.”

“Actually it’s what trick candles are made of. It’s why you can’t blow them out and they relight themselves, because the magnesium is very flammable the embers from the wick burn an-”

“Did we fucking ask for the science lesson!? Just make the damn candles already, I don’t want that fucking half and half to be the only thing I can see!” Bakugo shouted in annoyance as several more candles were being transferred over and lit.

“So what happened?” Someone questioned after a pregnant pause, and that same, shaky pitchy voice suddenly spoke up.

“I’m,” the voice cracked, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for- I just wanted.. I don’t know I-”

“It’s quite alright Miss Ashido, you didn’t mean any harm,” All Might’s voice held a comforting tone to it, as though he were patting her on the back.

“Kaminari didn’t mean to set the panels off either, it was an accident that I’m responsible for.”

“I’m just glad that none of you are hurt!” He laughed, Ashido’s sniffling being drowned out by the loud noise.

“I hate to be that guy,” a quiet voice spoke up once he was done, “But I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to keep control of my quirk..”

“It’s alright Tokoyami, I’ll have the room lit, just hang on,” Momo already had half the room lightened up, but it was really draining her.

At least with the strength of the candles she didn’t have to make too many, but the pressure was intense.

Students were laying everywhere on the ground, it looked like a hurricane had swept through with the glittering of the glass and slight cuts that littered 1-A being suddenly brought to light.

Though no one had any serious injuries, they had a huge amount of small paper-cut like scrapes from the glass and it made them all look like they went through some kind of vengeful blender.

“Alright! Everyone can move again, be careful with the glass of course and try tending to yours, and others, cuts as much as possible! I’ll find out what exactly happened, but we might be here awhile since the building’s put us in lockdown!”

“Lockdown!? What!” Shouts of protest went around like wildfire as students groaned in frustration.

“Well there goes our party plans.. Hey All Might how long is lockdown anyways?”

All Might gave a thought as he started carefully making his way to the panels, the room being just fully light enough to see everything.

“Well, it could vary depending on the damage, it might be half an hour, or it could be four!” He laughed as the students all groaned again.

“What about Deku?” Uraraka asked worriedly as she picked herself off from the ground and dusted the shards of glass and dust off.

“What about him?” Bakugo scoffed, intercepting the question that was clearly meant for their teacher.

“The shitty nerd is fine! He has that entire room to himself while I’m stuck with you fucking extras! He’s living the dream! I bet he’s laughing his fucking face off right now tha-”

“Um Kacchan what’re you doing here?” The sudden voice came out of nowhere, crystal clear, cutting off Bakugo’s words like a knife.

***

Izuku’s brows furrowed, scrunching his features together and a strong sense of something lodged in the pit of his stomach as he shifted the weight between his feet nervously.

When he’d stepped into the room everything was fine- Normal even. Or at least as normal as he expected?

It was exactly as Uraraka had said, the room was so large and so disorienting with how blank it was that he actually felt lost amongst the space.

When he turned he couldn’t see into the room even though he knew there was a window there, and even the door was covered up by concrete wall.

He’d waited to start the training, not wanting to interrupt the conversations that flared up in the other room. Plus, a little piece of him was enjoying hearing the banter and jokes.

Then suddenly everything went wrong.

A thunderous distorted buzz filled every empty corner in a hissing vibration that was so loud it drowned out his voice as he had to cover his ears in pathetic attempts to block out the horrific noise.

The lights flickered above him before popping out one by one leaving him engulfed in darkness as the noise sounded a loud shrieking explosion before plunging him into a sudden silence that left a shrill ringing in his ears.

'What?’ He questioned in his thoughts, still rubbing at his ears as he waited for his hearing to return to him, 'What was that?’

'Did something happen to everyone? Are they alright?’

'Nobody’s said anything?’

It was true, after the- Whatever that was, there hadn’t been a word from anyone in the other room. All Might hadn’t explained anything, no background noise, no chatter or fighting, it was like he was cut off from the rest of his class and it was unsettling.

That’s when he turned around facing where he thought the window was.

His eyes adjusted to the dark slowly, his whole body stiffening as he came to the sudden realisation he wasn’t alone.

There was a darker outlined silhouette of a person causing a jolt of fear to flood his veins strictly from that feeling of being so sure he was alone.

Bakugo stood unmoving in front of him, his arms crossed as he stared Izuku down with the coldest gaze he’d ever seen.

The silence between them was unnerving and made that sickening feeling of wrongness all the more unbearable.

“Um Kacchan,”

Izuku cleared his throat, cringing at how his voice cracked making his frazzled nerves all the more obvious.

“What’re you doing here?”

Silence.

Not a word was uttered and Izuku’s confusion festered inside of him making his stomach churn.

One second passed.

Two.

An entire minute.

He might have been more comfortable if someone else was with him, but the fact that it was just Kacchan staring him down in the near pitch black room made him feel unbelievably nervous.

Where was everyone else?

What happened to the power?

Where was Uraraka? Iida? Todoroki? Anyone?

Where was All Mi-

“You need to just shut up you quirk-fucking-less Deku.”

Bakugo suddenly snarled with such hatful disgust that it made Izuku visibly wince despite himself.

“What? Kacchan? I don’t?-”

“I said FUCKING SHUT UP!”

He felt the bile rise to his throat and his heartbeat quicken.

The shock from the sudden ear splitting yell echoed around the room vibrating his chest like he’d been at the front row of a concert and Izuku couldn’t help but begin to feel a sinking feeling.

“Wait, I don’t understand, Kacchan what’s going on?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What?”

“You don’t have the fucking right to call me that you worthless Deku.”

The Bakugo in front of him spat his nickname as though it were more bitter than poison as he took steps towards Izuku, sizing him up with a gaze that- Had Midoriya not known who Bakugo was, he would have described as completely villainous.

Each step Kacchan took closer to him, Izuku matched by stepping backwards until he could no longer run away from the glowing spite that bore down on him.

“It’s your fucking fault.”

It was a gravely whisper that only made him more confused as Kacchan grabbed him by his shirt and pressed him hard against the concrete wall.

“What ar-”

“WHY DON’T YOU EVER JUST SHUT UP!” Bakugo exploded with sudden uncontrollable power and shoved Deku into the wall, his head banging against the concrete causing tears to well in his shaky eyes.

“IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT HE’S DEAD!”

Despite the situation a fear other than that of the feral Kacchan slapped him in the face.

“Whose dead?” He questioned but Izuku’s only response was his own voice bouncing off the walls making his anxiety grow ten fold.

“What happened? Kacchan talk to me!”

“Please, I won’t know if you don’t tell me!”

Again, there wasn’t a sound from Kacchan. His fingers which clutched the wrinkled uniform pressed down on his skin with such a harshness that Izuku knew bruises were forming with each elongated second.

But what unnerved him the most was how deathly cold Kacchan’s hands were, he could feel the chill seeping it’s way past the fabric making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“I know we aren’t friends,” His voice was quiet but held a sharpness to it that gave him the strength to finally meet Bakugo’s resenting glare, “I know we’re nothing close, to you we aren’t even classmates. I’m just another extra, I know that, but that doesn’t mean I think of you the same way.”

“I don’t know what’s going on, or why you’re acting like this, but just talk to me! I can help!”

Izuku put his own feverish hands on Bakugo’s, suppressing the urge to wince as the icy touch spread through his body, and for a second, for a split second, he thought he’d gotten through to him.

Kacchan’s expression had relaxed, he felt warmer in more ways than one, and Midoriya gave a smile as if trying to show that everything was okay despite his cluelessness.

The next thing Izuku knew he was seeing blurs as the room flew by and he collided with the floor, bouncing and rolling several feet before finally stopping.

The wind was completely ripped from his lungs and he lay gasping for breath, his gaze was hazy but he still managed to see Kacchan standing above him with a look of disgust.

“You’re a fucking disgrace. Don’t you dare think you can just act like nothing happened.”

“ 'I can help!’ ” He mocked, his eyes radiating a sadistic venom as he made a wild hand gesture.

“That’s just like you. Typical fucking Deku. You never know when to just fucking stop.”

“You’ve helped enough.”

If Izuku was going to say anything he didn’t have the chance before Kacchan kicked him hard square in the leg and he had to hold back the urge to keep from crying out.

“All Might’s dead because of you.”

Despite every fibre of his being that screamed this was wrong, that something just wasn’t adding up, that everything was moving way too quick, that one sentence alone made his face pale and his heart stop.

“What- ” His head was racing a hundred miles a minute as he tried processing that single sentence.

“What do you mean? Kacchan what do you mean All Might’s dead!”

“What.-” He stressed helplessly tugging on Kacchan’s pants leg in some desperate plea to make him explain. “-Happened!”

Kacchan looked down on him and with a disgusted scoff he kicked Izuku away, not nearly as hard as his first kick to his leg, but rough enough so that Izuku was sent sprawling again.

“It’s exactly fucking that. He’s dead. You took his quirk.”

Midoriya took on a ghostly look, his attempt at pulling himself up was thwarted by guilt that froze him in his tracks. He didn’t know if Kacchan meant what he thought he did but-..

There was no way he could know?

Kacchan didn’t bat an eye at Izuku as he crouched down to meet the teary faced statue in front of him.

“While you were halled up here fucking sitting on your ass, a fucking villain got in and cut the power.”

“He couldn’t do a damn thing because of you!”

Izuku- He couldn’t believe it.

It shouldn’t be possible, it had to be fake, it had to be a lie.

But it all felt so real that he had to fight back the nauseating acidic feeling that steadily rose up his throat.

He couldn’t.

He just couldn’t believe it.

But this was Kacchan, he wouldn’t lie about something like this!

Kacchan loved All Might just as much as he did!

So it had to be true but it just couldn’t!

“You’re-” His voice quivered and he hadn’t realised he was crying until he felt the tears fall off his chin as he looked up at a face that stared back with murder.

“You’re wrong! All Might wouldn’t just die! He can’t!” Izuku screamed back, his voice breaking as that sickening nausea rose in his scream and he banged his fist down on the floor as if punching Kacchan’s words.

He didn’t even wince as one of his fingers snapped, bending upwards at an eerily unnatural angle.

“I don’t know what happened but he’s not dead!” Shakily he rose to his feet, his body audibly cracking with the effort.

“He-”

“Then go see him for yourself.”

This voice wasn’t the same. It wasn’t as angry or hateful, it was familiar but held a coldness to it that Izuku hadn’t ever heard before and he looked up with wide eyes.

Iida was standing there, behind Kacchan. His face might’ve been masked by his glasses but Midoriya could still feel a revulsion stronger than disgust radiating from his friend.

“Iida? What are- what’s going on? What happened to All Might? This isn’t true? Right!?”

Izuku hadn’t realised he’d gotten up in his shock, but he took a slow inching step forward, ignoring the glares from Kacchan and reached out for Iida only to see his friend back away.

“You should know. You killed him after all.”

Izuku clutched at his heart as if gripping the distorted fabric of his shirt would keep his chest from feeling like it was about to collapse in on itself.

Seeing Iida look at him like that, hearing how distant he sounded, it hurt.

“I stuck around you in case I needed to do the right thing, I knew you were trouble since day one.”

Izuku wanted to interrupt him.

He wanted to shake Iida and beg him to stop acting so cold, to call his name with that happy sparkle he had and joke around like they normally did, but he stood in frozen disbelief unable to muster any kind of voice.

“The minute I saw you during the entrance exams I knew you weren’t a hero. Someone like you, with your quirk, you were bound to get someone killed.”

“And you did.”

“I should’ve killed you when I had the chance, maybe then-” Iida’s hands were clenched into tight fists as he spoke, “Maybe then All Might would still be alive. His power would’ve returned. Instead of being stuck with someone like you.”

“I thought,” Deku’s voice was too quiet, it quivered with the sharp pounding of his quickening heartbeat, “I thought we were friends? Iida this..”

His head was spinning and he felt lost in his own words.

“This isn’t like you! What happened!”

“I get that you blame me but we can figure out what’s going on! This isn’t normal this- If our friendship meant anything at all, then please, just talk to me!”

He locked eyes with him and felt a déjà-vu surge of hope, maybe, just maybe Tenya was just taking out his grief on him like Kacchan? Maybe he’d come to his senses and realise what he was saying!?

If anyone could be reasoned with it was him.

The pain Izuku felt on his cheek didn’t even compare to the stabbing realisation that turned his entire body ridged. Iida- No his friend, his best friend, slapped him so hard that it left a red mark on his tear streaked face.

“Did you really think I’d be friends with someone as worthless as you.” Iida stated in such a calm and collective manner that it was devastating.

He couldn’t stop the chocking sob that broke through his resolve. He couldn’t stop the small quaking tremors that racketed his body.

Why!

Why did it hurt so much..

He’d had his dreams snatched away from him, he’d been bullied and beaten, he’d broken his bones countless of times, but not one of those moments hurt as badly as this did now. Nothing compared to this god awful sinking that pressed his insides down, enveloping his entire body in a throb that just.. Wouldn’t go away.

“Izuku? Are you okay?”

He looked up to see Uraraka staring at him with a gentleness that felt like an ice cold bath on a drunken night. It was like something cleared and it made him want to hug her and never let her go.

Bakugo and Iida might hate him, but she never would.

That just wasn’t who she was.

He felt a calmness settle his nerves and he shook his head trying to clear his thoughts.

Izuku smiled as he wiped his eyes, “Thanks Uraraka, sorry I- ” He paused as he closed his eyes taking a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t know what happened, I know they don’t mean it, Kacchan is Kacchan but Iida.. I didn’t think he’d.. You guys are my first friends you know? And, I don’t even know what happened?”

His entire being radiated a sad happiness that made his smile seem almost heartbreaking.

Uraraka was like a rock to him, she was the first person to ever help him, the only person who ever reached out a hand to someone like him, the only normality out of this whole messed up misunderstanding.

Again, that hope, that cruel and stupid hope that kept popping up even though these stupid, stupid situations kept repeating, made him feel calm.

The small fleeting moment of peace he had, that feeling of, 'I’m going to be okay,’ it plummeted quicker than it appeared when, to his horror, he saw Uraraka’s pleasantness contort into a sadistic grimace.

“You’re kidding right? You really believed that? Why would I care if you were okay after what you’d done?”

His smile was wiped from his face and the deception left him with a hollow feeling he’d never experienced before.

“I don’t understand- Why? What’s going on?” Izuku’s voice was so small as he watched in a transe like horror as Uraraka spun around the room as if she were dancing.

“Why!? Because you were stronger than me! Did you really think anyone would be friends with you for any other reason? Grow up Deku!”

The stress in his nickname made Izuku wince and he had another moment of déjà-vu.

This felt almost like middle school.

This felt like when Kacchan bullied him, except so much worse that it made him want to shut his eyes and never open them.

But, he wasn’t powerless anymore like he was back then. He could fight back. He could..

The mere idea of raising a fist to either Iida or Uraraka felt so utterly wrong. Just thinking of the possibility made him experience another wave of nausea and he hated himself for even realising he could fight them.

That idea was far more sickening than hearing anything they could ever say to him.

A loud snap startled him out of his thoughts and Uraraka grinned in his face, she was so close that if he leaned forward their noses would be touching.

“Deku~ 'You can do anything!’ Did you really honestly believe that crap? Jeez I must be a better actor than I thought!”

The Uraraka before him leaned back and laughed a laugh that pierced his already sunken heart, but it was such a hollowed out feeling.

Even though it hurt so bad, his eyes were dry with the overwhelming disbelief of it all.

“Shitty Deku, you can’t do anything other than getting in the way. You couldn’t even save me.”

Bakugo’s sudden voice made Izuku’s head snap towards the sound and he stood staring as a match like fire of anger burned the bitterness on his tongue like fuel.

How could Kacchan say something like that? He knew better than anyone that he risked everything to save him!

“What? Expecting a thanks for your, 'Rescue Mission,’ if you were fucking quicker I wouldn’t have needed to be rescued in the first fucking place! If you weren’t going to take being a hero seriously then why’d you even enter U.A!?”

And just with one sentence, with one god awful look from Kacchan, that confidence he had was snuffed out.

His determined expression fell flat.

That..

That was true..

The sudden surge of conviction he had dissolved as he realised that Kacchan was right.

If he had only been quicker, if he only reached him sooner. He might’ve..

“You’re a monster, a demon. Monsters can’t be heroes.”

“I’m not- ” A sudden sob caught in his throat that surprised him but he forced it down, “I’m not a monster!”

His fists were held tightly to his sides, his head looking down at the concrete floor as if wishing he’d turn invisible.

Maybe if he wasn’t so tired, maybe he’d have been able to handle what they were saying better? Maybe he wouldn’t have reacted with such weakness?

Maybe he’d have realised that something wasn’t right.

That the burning he felt engulfing him wasn’t normal.

That people kept showing up from nowhere.

That-

Everyone seemed to know what he was thinking.

“You are.”

This voice was new and Izuku looked up to find Todoroki staring back at him with a seemingly expressionless face, but his eyes burned with a quiet rage that made both of them seem almost red.

At that moment he felt his heart sink even further to the point he felt his knees almost buckle.

Not-

Not him.

Todoroki was like a brother, they’d helped each other out so much.. He cared for him so much..

“Your strength is evil. It hurts everything and everyone around it. It shouldn’t exist.”

It felt useless to deny it but still Midoriya had to. He.. He knew his power was dangerous, but that didn’t make it evil! That didn’t make him evil!

All Might went through the same thing!

“That’s not true! I just need to train more! I’m going to become a hero!”

“And how many people have to get hurt, how many people have to die until you make it?”

Izuku whirled his head around so quick it nearly gave him whiplash as he stared at Kirishima with another pang to his chest.

He shouldn’t have been surprised! But he couldn’t help the disappointment from eating away at him.

“You’re so selfish!”

Again he turned his head back to see Mineta looking up at him with an accusatory gaze of hatred.

“Mineta? But you tried cheering me up earlier? You’re my friend!”

He knew it was pointless but.. Still..

Mineta looked offended as he huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms angrily.

“Yeah right! I only did that because you’re so annoying when you’re sad! You sit right in front of me! I don’t want to see that!”

Izuku couldn’t handle what was happening anymore.

Every word that came out of his friends mouths hurt, every time they looked at him, every glare, every scoff, stung his chest and rattled him despite it all.

“You should’ve taken my advice.”

Bakugou had stayed quiet, but now he spoke up with an uncharacteristic coldness that confused Izuku as he looked from the scuffed up concrete and locked eyes with him.

“Kacchan what-”

“You should’ve taken a nose dive when you had the chance.”

An eerie calmness overtook him as tears suddenly started falling noiselessly down his face and dripping onto the concrete like ghostly shines in the darkened light.

“I don’t care what you all say,” his hands were clenched to the point his knuckles turned white, his broke finger the only one not balled up.

“You’re my friends!” His shout met with empty air as his entire class had surrounded him. Each person looking at him with mixtures of disgust and rage.

There wasn’t a single friendly face in his 1-A class. Not one.

“Do you know what All Might said before he died?”

It was Kaminari that spoke up and Izuku couldn’t help that bitter feeling of betrayal from creeping in. He helped Kaminari study often, they laughed together, played games together, he stayed up late helping him.

But here he was.

Looking at him just like all the others.

“He said his biggest regret was meeting you. You were his greatest failure.”

The world stopped.

Izuku felt like he was falling.

Maybe he was? He wasn’t aware anymore.

His tears stopped from the sheer weight of knowing that they were right.

It shouldn’t have bothered him.. It wasn’t like All Might said it to his face, he had no reason to believe them except-

They were his friends, and he knew they weren’t lying.

“Someone like you doesn’t deserve to live.”

In the haze of his shock Izuku didn’t hear Tokoyami, he didn’t even register what other cruel things were thrown at him.

He didn’t even feel the first punch until it landed with his jaw and sent him flying backwards, Kirishima’s smug face happily proud of himself as his sharp teeth grinned a happy smile.

Despite everything he heard, everything he saw, Deku didn’t want to give up.

The laughter, the games, late nights in the dorm, study sessions, parties, these were his friends. They were his precious family.

He rubbed his cheek, groaning as he rose to his feet dizzily, “You’re all my friends, I don’t want to fight you.”

His stubborn conviction settling his resolve as he felt clear headed again, no matter what happened they would always be his family, even if he was never anything to them.

Gingerly Izuku rubbed away a smudge of blood from his split lip and his eyes shone with an empowering confidence.

“I won’t fight you.”

A piercing scream tore its way from his lips as his arm felt an intense burning sensation that brought him to his knees from the sheer pain of it as ringing bounced through his skull.

“I’m not your fucking friend.”

Izuku’s mouth frothed with a mixture of blood and spit from where he bit his lip and he clutched the useless arm that hung loosely by his side desperately as he regained composure and stood once more.

This was different than spar fighting, this was different than all those exam fights because this time there wasn’t a purpose. This wasn’t to get better, this was real.

There was a real intent to hurt, to kill, emitting from each one of them.

“Please-” he spat his voice begging, pleading them to hear him, “Please if our friendship meant anything, even if this is all true and you all hate me, if there was ever a time when we really did laugh together, even for a second, then please don’t do this. I’ll- I don’t know what I’ll do, I’ll drop out. I’ll give up on being a hero, just please don’t do this!”

“You won’t become heroes if you do! The school will expel you!”

His voice shook with the sudden power in which he shouted. There was never a single moment, standing there with one arm useless, that he thought he should fight them.

He could never turn One For All on his friends, even if they tried killing him.

The thought of Kacchan never being the hero long ago they once dreamed he’d be, of Kirishima not being able to follow the footsteps of his idle, of Iida not living up to his legacy, of Uraraka not making her parents proud like she hoped- Even though they already were proud.

Those thoughts were strangely worse than the pain he felt.

“And here he goes with that stupid self sacrificing attitude, Jeez! It’s pathetic!” Uraraka sent a chip of what looked like the floor hurtling towards him and he managed to dodge, but the sudden effort made him trip over his own feet and he fell to the floor with a thud.

He cried out as his damaged arm met the ground harshly and a sudden soft chill grazed the right side of his face causing him to look up in hazy confusion, “Todor-”

Izuku screamed, a guttural pained scream that bounced off the walls of the room filling it with the sound of his agony.

He clawed at where Todoroki burnt his face, trying to put out the flames that burned into his skin.

A handprint, Shoto’s handprint, was seared into his flesh like a brand.

“Wasn’t it you who said I should use this?”

Izuku felt like he couldn’t cry anymore, but still several tears stung his face.

He couldn’t open his right eye, but he stared up at Todoroki with betrayal and.. And something else..

“There we go! Hey guys I think he’s finally getting it!”

He screamed again, his entire body contorting as electricity shot up and down his spine, his back arching uncontrollably.

A punch collided with his stomach knocking him a few feet over, he couldn’t see who it was but it didn’t matter. Izuku was left gasping, spitting blood onto the floor as he rolled over, unable to move.

“I won’t- I won’t fight you guys, I don’t want to hurt you.”

He winced before the pole collided with his damaged leg, knowing the blow was coming before even seeing it.

There was an audible crack that sent him into a flurry of tortured screams.

The onslaught of attacks stopped and Izuku opened his eyes hoping that maybe everyone finally came to their senses..

Or at least were done.

Instead of his class he saw someone else hovering above him like an angel.

It was a sight that made his chest tighten with longing as he stared as if seeing a ghost.

“Mo-” He gasped wordlessly as a coughing fit made his lungs fill with a burning itch that sent him sputtering. It took him several minutes before he was able to breathe again, blood traced his lips and he heaved a big gasp of air before looking at his mother with greedy hopeful eyes.

“Mom?” He croaked, finally able to get her name out as he looked up with a childish desperation.

He watched her kneel down besides him, gently she brushed the hair away from his wounded eye and a heaving sob made his entire body tremble as he shook.

He couldn’t get up, he couldn’t move his arms, he had no strength to stand, and the fact he wasn’t able to do something as simple as hugging his own mom hurt him as he lay pathetically on the ground struggling to breathe with how hard he was crying.

“Mom I-” Izuku looked at her unable to get a sentence out with how badly he was trembling.

He didn’t care about how unreal it was, or how the same thing happened with his classmates, and how quickly that happy feeling had been ripped away again and again each time someone showed up.

He just wanted his mom.

“Oh Izuku,” the pity that filled her voice only made him feel worse inside. That wasn’t what he wanted her to say. He didn’t want her to feel sorry for him, he wanted her to hug him, he wanted to feel his mom’s warmth and know that everything- Every god awful thing that happened today was just a sick dream.

His face melted into his mother’s hands as she cradled his cheek and he shut his eyes, he didn’t care that her hand felt so cold, he was exhausted from his own outburst. His body ached, he hurt so badly, and not just physically.

He wanted a hug so desperately, he wanted to just go home already..

“You realise it don’t you?” Her voice was gentle and soft like a butterfly’s wings and despite the confusing context, Izuku found himself taking comfort in her quiet voice.

He opened his eye, looking up at her with a questioning stare that said more than his voice could.

“That none-”

The pounding in his heart picked up again and he gasped as her icy nails sunk into his face, clawing at his skin until red welts dotted his cheek.

“None of this-”

His eyes widened in sheer terror, unlike any that he’d ever experienced, as he begged his mom to let go in the way his tears mixed with the blood that started to bleed in ugly splotches down his face.

“Would have happened if it weren’t for you!” She screamed at him, a voice he never heard before, it was horrific, it was worse than any curse or cruel thing Bakugo- or any of his friends said.

“MY HUSBAND’S GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!”

There wasn’t anything he could do as Izuku struggled to breathe under his mother’s iron grip. He couldn’t ask her why, he couldn’t question what she meant, he couldn’t even push her away as she began to strangle him.

Izuku could only sit there and listen as uncontrollable tremors racketed his body and his breathing hitched into hyperventilating.

“If it weren’t for you he’d still be here!” Her voice was a hysteric mixture of pure disgust that was both distraught and angry.

“And then you want to be a hero!? You’re quirkless! You were a worthless child since I brought you back from the hospital!”

“Too weak to even stand up for yourself!”

“Worthless!”

“A good for nothing Deku!”

She spat, and he flinched as though he’d been struck as her nails dug further into his neck.

“I should’ve abandoned you long ago- You’ve been nothing but trouble!”

“Having to be a mother to a horrible son like you!”

“I wish I’d died instead.”

At that she flung him away, and this time Izuku Midoriya did not get up.

He didn’t even try to protect himself when she slammed him into the floor.

The world was a daze, he couldn’t feel anything anymore he couldn’t even breathe as he gasped, the pressure gone from his throat.

He felt so detached, it was like he wasn’t even here.

There was a ringing in his ear from the impact and something wet was on his face but he didn’t know if it was tears or blood anymore.

It took him several minutes just to regain control of the spasming in his chest. His sobs choked him as he gasped into the ground, unaware of the spit that flew as he struggled to do something as simple as breathe.

His mom’s voice echoed in the base of his skull as his pitiful cries slowed to empty gasps and he laid pathetically on the concrete.

Izuku didn’t know how long he had been laying there.

He couldn’t think anymore, if he did his chest tightened and his head throbbed with the pain that hammered in his heart.

As if he held the weight of the world on his shoulders, Izuku painfully turned his head sideways, shifting awkwardly as he no longer felt the need to suppress the urge to cry out and spat blood as his body twitched from the pain.

His breathing slowed to nothing as he stared blankly at the wall, expressionless save for his shaking eyes.

He didn’t know if it was the concussion that made him hallucinate or if he had gone so utterly insane that he imagined it, but he saw All Might in front of him now.

Only he was bloodied.

His body had deep cuts littering all over him and his right arm was torn off from the shoulder, bone exposed jagged and awkwardly, spilling blood everywhere.

He was hunched over in on himself, clutching his stomach as if in his last moment he tried stopping his own innards from spilling everywhere from the gaping slash that ran from shoulder to hip exposing the eerie whiteness of his ribs.

The blood dripping from his opened mouth in a thick line pooled at his knee, and his eyes stared at him widely with a lifelessness that was unsettling even in the dark lighting.

It was as if he was saying, 'You did this to me.’

He could hear it.

Everywhere around him.

He could hear their voices circling him, suffocating him, strangling him as if they physically stood around blaming him.

Izuku could hear his own heartbeat in his ears, his ragged breathing had peaked and he couldn’t even register where he was anymore.

“Stop it.”

'Who said that?’ He wondered as he looked around without seeing, it felt as if he should know, but something was in the way.

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.”

'It sounded kind of familiar? But why was it so far away?’ There wasn’t anyone around him, so there shouldn’t have been a voice.

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.”

All at once it was like Izuku had been hit with a truck. He could feel every ounce of pain that choked him. His broken arm, the ribs that poked his lungs, the throbbing of his burn, every bruise and scrape all returned to him and the ringing vanished as quick as it came and instead enveloped him in a screaming he didn’t realise was his own.

He screamed, pulling at his own hair as the unbearable pain consumed his voice in each increasingly loud, 'Stop It,’ that uttered past his lips.

Izuku’s agonising scream bounced off the walls seeming to return to him, mocking him, as his own heartbreak became too much for him to handle.

“Stop it. Stop it. . stopitSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOP!”

A blinding flash of white-

And then suddenly.

The screaming stopped.

It was quiet.

It was so utterly quiet that if you dropped a single hair you’d be able to hear it when it met the floor.

Izuku lay still on the ground, sprawled out in an unnatural pose that screamed louder than his own desperate cries- That something was terribly wrong.

His eyes were closed and for once since he stepped into the cement hell of a building, for once since he woke up in a scrambled mess, he looked unsettlingly peaceful.

The only eerie thing other than the silence that deafened the tormented room, was the fact that Izuku’s chest was not moving.

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