#which is just. *chef's kiss chef's kiss chef's kiss a very violent chef's kiss* for me)

[burnin-hot]

Man, you people are really liking thay Stridercest post, huh.

[stcrmade-illusions]

uhhh…is love and deepspace bringing me out of my inactive era / writers block?? This is probably ooc since I just started playing the game and I haven’t written anything in a while soooo…yeah. Just bare with me :)

boyfriend!sylus x blk fem!reader

minors, ageless, haters/harassers dni!!

boyfriend!sylus who absolutely loves every hairstyle you wear but he makes it very clear that he loves your natural hair the most. he loves the entire process of helping you with your hair, from taking it down, to detangling washing and blowdrying. He’ll just sit next to you to hand you whatever you need. Ponytail holders, pins, gel, brushes etc. When you’re finished styling it, he always has a small grin on his face. He pulls you to his chest, biting softly at your cheek and mumbling a low “beautiful” in your ear.

boyfriend!sylus who currently has you bouncing on his thick cock right after you just got a silk press! the car windows are foggy and you’re already sweating. “sy - sylus, i just got my fucking hair done!” you whine, partly because you really wanted your hair pressed for the weekend activities you had planned and partly because your deranged boyfriend is drilling inside your pussy like there’s no tomorrow. he grabs your chin and mutters a “sorry, kitten. It couldn’t be helped.” before slipping his tongue inside your mouth, effectively making you forget how pissed off you are.

boyfriend!sylus who starts making his chefs incorporate some of your favorite meals into their meals. he notices how there’s certain things you don’t particularly like and remembers you babbling about some of the meals your grandmother used to make you before her unfortunate passing.

boyfriend!sylus who sees you wearing a bonnet for the first time since you’ve started dating. he tilts his head in confusion and you can’t help but think he looks like a really cute puppy. you explain what it is and why you wear it, when you’re done he just nods his head and places a kiss on your forehead. the following weekend, there’s a box delivered with bonnets of all sizes and colors.

boyfriend!sylus who sees you taking pictures during golden hour and he just lays on the bed admiring how good you look.

boyfriend!sylus who wastes no time in beating the shit out of a man who made a very disgusting and cruel comment about you and ‘your kind’. Sometimes his violent behavior startles you and other times it makes you want to ride him from dusk to dawn.

boyfriend!sylus who’s helping you pick out a dress to wear for your dinner date. “which one? black or burgundy?” you hold up both dresses so he can take a closer look, after a few moments of silence he hums. ruby eyes flick over to the bed to look at all other dresses you pulled out, he clicks his tongue “what about the gold one?”

you scrunch your nose. “but your tie?” he huffs. “don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll change it.” he’s already reaching to towards his neck when you speak again. “you sure?” he takes a step closer and leans down so you’re eye to eye. “yes, love. I love this color on you, wear this one.” He picks up the dress and hands it to you, gently pushing you towards the bathroom.

boyfriend!sylus who will never admit it out loud but he hates being away from you too long. he needs you around him and in his space at all times or he starts getting grumpier than usual. whenever he’s stressed or pissed off, he seeks you out and plops you in his lap so he can kiss you and play with your hair. He might even use your boobs at stress balls but you tease him about it sometimes but he just huffs and ignores you.

boyfriend!sylus who has your legs thrown over his shoulders while he takes his time teasing you with his hot velvety tongue and long, thick fingers. he’s had you wound up so long that you can’t even remember how much time has passed. “sy…please. I need it.” a low hum comes from his chest, it vibrates through your whole body. his eyes flutter open and lock onto yours immediately. “do you honestly think you deserve it? after being a brat the whole day?”

when you don’t respond, three thick fingers sink back into your cunt, making your body arch. “answer me, kitten.” except you can’t answer him and he knows you can’t because he’s curling his fingers inside you, pressing against that spot and god you’re so close. So fucking close! Just a few more thrusts and — “no!” your voice comes out weak and betrayed, you can feel the tears start to well. His fingers slow then come to a complete stop.

a soft kiss is placed on your thigh, followed by a sharp bite. “you know I don’t reward bad behavior, be a good girl and I’ll give you want you really want.”

— 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑹𝑰𝑮𝑯��𝑺 𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑽𝑬𝑫 © 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟓 𝑾𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑩𝒀𝑯𝑨𝒀𝑫𝑬𝑵! 𝑷𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑺𝑬 𝑫𝑶 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑪𝑶𝑷𝒀, 𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑨𝑳 𝑻𝑹𝑨𝑵𝑺𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑬 𝑶𝑹 𝑹𝑬𝑷𝑶𝑺𝑻 𝑨𝑵𝒀 𝑰𝑭 𝑴𝒀 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑲𝑺!! dividers from @cafekitsune

[zepskies]

The Boys S4: Is it just me or...

Okay, anyone who knows me knows I love this show. And I don't mean to be overly critical, but...there's something missing for me in season 4. 🤔

Episode 4 brought me back in a bit more this week, but I have thoughts and just wanted to get them out. Which of course you don't have to agree with, if you so choose to dive below the cut. 😂

So here we go! Highlights and lowlights (and **spoilers**): ⤵️

Sorry in advance for my slightly stream of conscious-style thought process.

Lowlights (so far):

Kimiko x Frenchie: Violently pushing down something you built up for 2.75 seasons? Because "being more than that/family" can also be romantic? Why do you hate the fans, Kripke? 😂

The political "satire" is getting a bit old for me. A lot of the same jokes over and over. However, the problem of taking out Victoria Neuman is a very intriguing conundrum (and Bob Singer sweating over it while trying to keep supes out of the military/law enforcement is keeping me hooked).

THAT Rob scene: lmfao come on now. This was for gross shock value and nothing else. Even the exploding dick and Love Sausage in S3 served a narrative purpose. (But I enjoyed the footnote commentary while watching it on Prime: Rob B. apparently wants to remind everyone that he's a Shakespearean-trained actor. 🤣) I’m actually more disappointed that he didn’t have a more meaningful role in the show, because he really is a fantastic actor and I was looking forward to seeing what his character would bring. (Not that lmao.)

Overall, the season just feels...emptier than seasons 1-3? Maybe that has to do with the lack of Soldier Boy's gravitas as a new antagonist, and connecting the entire narrative and various conflicts of the season -- all while shedding light on the grisly past of Payback, Grace Mallory, and Stan Edgar. Stormfront also brought that ante up in season 2 in a similar way, all while shedding light on Vought's sordid history with the creation of Compound V.

We're missing the layers here in season 4. Now, this could just be because we haven't seen the full season yet as well, but that's what I see so far.

I think it also has to do with the odd dynamic the boys side is in right now. With Butcher on the fringe of the group, and the others splintered off on their own side plots, it feels like the supes' side of things are more...for lack of a better term, "unified" in the narrative.

Which I realize is probably to reverse parallel the state of each side in season 3. But it just feels "off" to me somehow, since we're supposed to be just as invested in the boys side lol.

Highlights:

Butcher and Ryan: Butcher's doing his best there now, and it soothes my heart.

Ryan's slowly seeing the consequences of his choice to join Homelander. In fact, I'm wondering where Ryan is in episode 4. Hiding in his room?

The Khan Worm that appears to be inside Butcher is both frightening and intriguing. I wonder if this is the key to saving his life? Or just another lovely side effect of taking V24 long term. 🐛

JDM (Joe) and Butcher: All their scenes were golden. And that subtle John Winchester reference? Being willing to train up his son to be a killer? Being able to grieve at his son's funeral, knowing he "saved the world?" *Chef's kiss* 🤌🏽

(And if Butcher or Joe end up being the one to break Soldier Boy out of his cryo coffin, my fangirl heart will freak TF out. 🤣)

The way that Homelander is noticing his age is fucking hilarious. Bet you wish you had that life longevity from your father/sperm donor, dont'cha? 😂

But also the way Homelander "confronted" his past in E4 had some truly WTF/Holy Shit™️ moments, in a good way. As in, I'm once again afraid of this unhinged psychopath--kind of way. 😅

A-Train continuing to struggle internally with the place he's fought so hard to keep in the Seven, versus recognizing the evil around him, his own complicity, wanting forgiveness from Hughie, and wanting a true connection with others (namely his family).

It's interesting that Hughie's mom is being brought back in at this time. And even MORE interesting that she seems to be the one who gave her ex-husband Compound V. Her story of why she left her family seemed so normal that I actually got a little suspicious of her. But now, even more so. 🤨

M.M. doing his fucking best. (Except for the way he suddenly had a change of heart about Butcher in E4. Not sure about that one.)

Tilda effing Swinton voicing Ambrosius. PLEASE. My Queen. 😭🤣🤣

I actually had more lowlights before I watched episode 4. There were some really interesting moments that literally had me gasping in shock (this time in a good way), more so than in the first 3 episodes. However, I still think seasons 1-3 were stronger from the get-go.

But even with my lingering reservations, now I'm actually more so looking forward to getting into the meat of the season in this second-half coming up. 👏🏽

[wordstome]

Last night I did what I always do when I can’t fall asleep: think about fictional men. Here’s a list of wonderful stories written by incredibly talented people who have helped me think about fictional men by providing the most delicious playgrounds.

In the interest of keeping my recommendations brief, I'm going to talk about what I liked about the fic instead of summarizing what it's about. To know what it's actually about you're just gonna have to click through and read the fic <3

(and just in case anybody's gotten lost, this is all COD, mostly modern MW)

✦ complete ║ ➠ ongoing

König

✦Just Friends by @kneelingshadowsalome Salome is so good at capturing a very unique interplay between König’s social awkwardness and his deep, dark, nasty inclinations. He’s so feral and enjoyable to read, and the sheer force of his desire for Engel is downright intoxicating. I find it difficult to describe how much of an impact Just Friends has had on me and my portrayal of König, to be honest. There's a reason why three of Salome's fics are on this rec list.

✦Fatum Nos Iungebit by kneelingshadowsalome Five words. König with his cock out. That's it. Okay, but in all seriousness, I love his character applied to this setting. All the raw visceral violence a König could ever want, a pretty little lady in his bed—he's so boyish and happy in this au it brings me such joy. The way their relationship between him and Fee develops is so natural and so sweet. Please for the love of God read this.

➠Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus The chase. The pursuit. The adrenaline when Mouse dances out of König's reach once more. I'm a little biased because I adore Julius and Jenny (I could call her Lucretia but the double J names make me giggle) as ocs already, but CMD is so, so well written. The tension, the flirting, the scene where he catches her falling out of the tree?! As I said in a reblog, I shrieked. You know when you're reading something that's so good you want to bite down on it and shake like a dog with a toy? (No? Just me?) That's how I feel about CMD.

➠Anything by @darklordofthesimp Anything, in only 7 chapters (they are hefty, don’t get me wrong), has turned König and Birdy’s dynamic from “THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IRREVERSIBLY SCARRED MY BODY AND MY BRAIN, AND I CANNOT TRUST HIM” to “these two are going to get married someday”. (author if you’re reading this, I say that not as an expectation or prediction, but as a vibe reading.) This one is for the hurt/comfort girlies. Also, shoutout to all the other stories set in the Anything-verse. Sunshine and Ghost are just soooo *grips my hand in a fist so hard it shakes*

➠If you need to be mean by @gremlingottoosilly This mostly serves as a blanket recommendation for all of Gremlin’s fics. I found If you need to be mean, and then visiting Gremlin’s author page was like opening a treasure chest. Want to be König’s pampered, (unwilling) little housewife? That’s If you need to be mean. Want a harem fic with almost all of the COD MW men? Gremlin has two, both with their own little spin to keep it fun. Do you want König to keep you in his basement or hunt you down as a serial killer? Gremlin's got it. Monsterfucker? Gremlin has that too. Special shoutout goes to 1295 kilometers. I think about fucking König on a train a lot now.

➠Break my mind by @kaiasdevotion (kaiasown on ao3) There’s no way around this. This fic has the most unhinged, kinky, downright dangerous smut I’ve read in the cod fandom so far (positive). Just Friends König is the metric by which I judge all other Königs’ nastiness, and Break my mind König is tipping so hard on the “unhinged horny violent freak (affectionate)” end of the scale he’s about to fall off. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've developed a taste for writing/reading from König's perspective, and he's so chillingly deranged in the most controlled way possible during the chapters from his pov. Incredible writing. Chefs kiss.

✦Experimental by @uhohdad (surgeoninspace on ao3) Alright, enough of just König being nasty. He is still nasty in this one, but he’s not the only one who gets to have a little fun and be a total creep. Our little scientist here is a grade A pervert, and I was delighted the whole way through. The most important thing I need in a fic is suspension of disbelief, and Experimental takes an unrealistic, maybe a little bit silly situation and makes it so believable. Everybody reacts the way you would expect them to, even if the scenario they're in is A Lot.

➠Little Mouse and Rotes Madchen by @sprout-fics I'm combining the recommendation for these two because while they are both very much distinct, unique fics, I love them the same way. Sprout is such an engaging writer, and the internal dialogue of her characters is so well done. It reveals their personality, motivations, and internal conflicts without being overly expository. Do you guys remember that post I put on the König bible about instant obsession? It's this inexorable attraction borne from obsession that sticks me to Little Mouse like a glue trap. (Is that too morbid?)

✦Hot in Sarajevo by @50cal-fullauto Rags' König characterization post is on my Königcore bible, for very good reason. They get it. König is a feral dog forced to live as a man and loves like a total maniac, emotionally and sexually. I marked Hot in Sarajevo as complete but I don't know how many parts there are going to be, and frankly, I do want more. However, if you're going to only read one part (which. why would you do that??? read both.) I recommend the second part. I want to write love like that. Goddamn.

Ghost

Yeah, this list is a little bare bones right now. I'm gonna get back to it, I promise.

✦Anhedonia by kneelingshadowsalome The way. Salome takes the "I would take a bullet for him but he's so cold to me" premise and then flips it entirely on its head for the second part is so important to me. The way Simon craves the reader is like human catnip. I reread this fic all the time.

Keegan

✦For the Weak and Weary by @halcyone-of-the-sea Read this if you want to believe in true love. That's all. Go on now.

Multiple

✦Easy by @danibee33 When people say "I wish this were a book!" about fanfiction, they usually mean it in a "this is good enough to be published by the traditional publishing industry" way. When I say I want Easy (and Diablesa) to be a book, I mean it in a "I want to get this story bound in a beautiful ass cover and keep it on a shelf so I can take it down and reread it whenever I want" way. I don't want the traditional publishing industry to get their claws in this, because it's perfect as it is. This fic is so wild and fun, and the character moments are so special and well done. Do yourself a favor and savor this one.

➠@ghouljams's entire blog [masterlist] "What do you mean someone's entire blog" YOU HEARD ME. Those aus are some good shit. Good characterization, delicious premises, love the group effort of it all. To absolutely nobody's surprise, my favorite couple is König and Bee from the cowboy au (ditzy but well-meaning and competent in her own way woman x big strong man who is obsessed with her and maybe also creeping on her, my beloved), but I also have a fondness for Ghost and Die from demon darlings au. Trust me on this one. Dig into those masterlists babey.

[verpineshatterrifle]

I love how much you love kal 🩷 I am not his biggest fan bc I detest how traviss' misogyny seems to come out mostly thru him as opposed to other characters, especially through the way he treated etain but your take about flaws being an integral part of what makes a person themself is CHEF'S KISS 🤌

omg thank you so much 🥰 i can, have, and will talk about him for hours, i will write a thesis statement, i will make a powerpoint, i will wax poetic about the themes of repcomm and how much they mean to me interminably

goddd please don't take this as me trying to change your mind or arguing with you or anything, i totally understand that the books were written in like 2004 and kt has had some. unfortunate. blog posts ect ect

i am also never trying to bash etain in any way to defend my favoritest blorbo kal skirata, i definitely think that her character arc was poorly handled and the narrative itself was unkind to her. i don't blame any of the characters for that and i choose to believe the best of her as a character despite the narrative fucking her over deeply

i just don't think kal reads as misogynistic

even narratively with many of the female characters beginning to do traditional 'women's work' like cooking ect, the characters treat laseema's ability to run a kitchen for several dozen people as a hugely valuable skill, and most of those women with like, the exception of rav, are not trained as fighters, and it would be hugely irresponsible for the soldier characters to be like 'hey do you wanna come on this mission even though you have no idea how to do black ops shit so that i don't look like im being discriminatory'

that rant aside, and LET US NOT FORGET BESANY MOTHERFUCKIN 'STARTED AN ARMED SIEGE IN A HOSPITAL' WENNEN

here is my take on how kal treated etain and her pregnancy announcement

-nobody ever mentions the Check Incident when they talk about this. etain did something that greatly upset ordo, and although she was right and her actions saved besany's life, one of the points of repcomm is that no matter how morally correct or justified your action was, the consequences of it don't go away. and then instead of trying to solve it directly with ordo (which is fair because ordo is scary as fuck and also violently angry with her about it, and kal is pretty approachable) she talks to kal about it instead. he was pretty unhappy about that, and to him that looks like her not really treating ordo as a man and an equal

-after the initial blowup, kal isn't unkind to her. i believe the next time they actually see each other in person was on dorumaa when she was having complications, and he was concerned and was nice to her despite how messy the last time they saw each other was. etain was anxious he would still be mad at her, but he wasn't

-yes, he is angry with her at first. he blows up. he's an angry person, that's a very, very core trait of his- he perceived one of his sons being taken advantage of, if he didn't get angry about that he wouldn't be kal skirata

-i hate to bring this up but it is canonical that etain intended to become pregnant, on purpose, while suggesting to darman that she wasn't going to get pregnant. and i choose to believe that that's kt fucking her over narratively. but she did do something without even talking to darman about it at all, and then just like with checking ordo, went to kal about it instead expecting him to be able to fix the problem

-and he did. sure, he made demands, he didn't leave her much choice at all, he threatened her. but he did give her what she asked for. her intention was to give darman a mandalorian son, and kal did what he felt he needed to do to make sure darman's son was raised as a mandalorian

honestly my ideal fix-it for that scenario is actually kal going one step FARTHER and forcing etain to resign from her rank, and possibly the order if she has to. you chose to be a mother. you can't also be a general. for both your safety, and the safety of the baby, you cannot HAVE A PREGNANT WOMAN ACTIVELY PARTICIPATING IN A WAR JESUS CHRIST (yes he thought qiilura should be as safe as possible but STILL)

and just like with etain and ordo, no matter how justified your action was, you still have to face the consequences. and kal does when darman punches his lights out about it lol

also #ETAINLIVES. in anything i ever write or draw or have headcanons about lol. 501st is a whump fic with interesting character information to me, basically. last couple chapters of order 66 on ain't canon. not in my heart.

[underratedmurder]

Richie Jerimovich/Reader "I Would Like a Blanket Please" (Part 1/2)

Reader works at The Beef and is having some housing/financial troubles, Richie offers his apartment as a place to stay! <3

Stuff in this: Soft Richie, Reader is kind of awkward, Soooo many hands on shoulders, They are so sweet and tender with each other, They both know how much the other one is hurting, They are each others comfort person!!! They have some sexual tension, Carmy is totally onto them

Stuff that will be in part two (if you don't want spoilers then just skip past this): Chicken nuggets (hell yeah), Richie when he was in college <3, Reader sleeps on his sofa which is much nicer than his twin bed?, Sharing blankets, Intense cuddling, The softest kisses

I know its been more than a week since my last update I am sorry dear friends, but trust I will deliver !!! Second part should be up tomorrow night or Monday.

Please enjoy, and leave a comment or like if you want to see more/have any requests !

____________

You were sitting on the ground of the walk-in, fingers getting colder, digging into the sleeves of your thick knit sweater. The one Richie called you crazy for wearing in the kitchen, but also one of the last pieces of physical comfort you had left.

Life was… rough, and you were currently struggling to find housing. You just spent your last bit of money on last night's stay in a motel room downtown. You were hoping you could pull through and figure something out by the end of the day… but that time was now, and you had nothing. 

You tried to collect your thoughts, breathing hard and freaking out a little bit. Your nerves were getting the better of you, and you had been nothing but filled with tension the whole day. 

You breathed in and out, slowly letting your body relax, and your fingers loosen their grip. You looked at the ground intensely, almost studying it, to remind yourself where you were. And to remember that the world wasn’t actually ending, it was just your life! Just yours! 

Don’t worry! At least the restaurant is okay!

Even that was an overstatement.

You felt yourself finally come back to the moment.

“Alright well just don’t put it on the stove again Fak! It’s not fuckin rocket science- Oh,” Richie's voice was booming even before he opened the door.

He had snapped you out of your tranquil state immediately, and you could already feel yourself tensing up again. Being around people and trying to act like everything was normal and okay all day was very hard. Especially around Rich. The guy you almost desperately wished to be close to. 

The fear was pungent though, you didn’t want to be a burden on anyone, especially on him. You feared getting tangled up with him in any way would only make life more painfully complicated.

These thoughts and feelings did not cross your mind though when you were actually around him in the kitchen, and you got to talk to him and watch him ‘work’, as you fought back the carnal urge to violently makeout with him.

It was far too easy to be comfortable around him, it was only after your shift everyday that you reminded yourself you were not in the position for a relationship.

If he even liked you-

“Hey, uh, what are ya doin' on the floor?” you were back to reality again, and Richie was looking down at you, one arm on the door and the other at his side. 

You looked up at him with the most honest and unintended look of pure dread on your face, eyes sad and fearful. His own expression dropped.

“What’s wrong sweetheart?” he lowered his voice and knelt down to look you in the eyes, face to face.

You furrowed your brows and smiled in adoration. His words were somehow instantly comforting.

You shook your head, “It’s nothing. I’m just tired,”

He didn’t look convinced, instead he went to place a hand on your shoulder, his palm was warm in the chill.

“You sure you're ‘aright? You can tell me, ya know? Promise I won’t tell Mr. Crazy Chef,” he joked, referring to Carmy, and you let out a huff. 

“Did you spill a giant jar of pickles or somethin?” 

“Ha ha,” you said sarcastically, a half smile escaping your somber expression. Though, it didn’t last long.

Richie dropped to your level on the floor, sitting next to you.

You shook your head again, looking down.

“Its just been a long day,” you hesitated, but Richie just waited.

“Things have been… hard,” you let your words out with an exhale, your arms and legs becoming a bit less stiff.

“Home troubles?”

“Yeah,” you half whispered, fiddling with your fingers as that last bit of tension escaped you.

“Yeah… I get it,” he said with a sigh, and he let his head lean on the wall.

You sat there in silence for a second, the humming of the freezer accompanying your barely audible breaths.

“I take it you don’t wanna go back huh?” he asked you, turning his head to look at you.

You furrowed your brows and looked at him puzzled.

“Back home, I mean,” he clarified.

Oh

You put it together he assumed your home life wasn’t very good. Which technically it wasn’t, just not in the way he expected.

Obviously, you hadn’t alluded to anything else.

You nodded, barely mumbling another yeah, as to not embarrass yourself, though you could feel yourself getting there.

You leaned back against the metal shelf, tilting your head back and running your fingers by your scalp. 

You half smiled at him, afraid to look into his eyes for too long or you might get lost in them.

“You know you can stay with me if you want?”

“What?” you blurted.

“If yur really not feelin like… goin back tonight, you can crash at mine. I got plenty o’ room,” 

“Are you serious?”

“Course I am, I’m not an asshole,”

“Well…” you grinned and looked at him cheekily.

“Shush, I aint no fuckin asshole aright? I can be nice,” he expressed with his hands, signature of a pointed Richie opinion. 

“Yeah like now?” you joked, your arms hooked around your knees as you leaned forward again.

“You don’t have to come over if you don't wanna-”

“I do,”

Richie stopped and looked at you, surprised and… relieved by your answer?

“I do, want to,”

He opened his mouth to say something, but the longer he looked at you it seemed he couldn’t come up with anything. He smiled a little bit instead, a pleasant sight. His cheeks just a bit pink.

“Well, then we better get goin’, it’s ‘bouta be closing and I don’t recommend staying overtime,”

He popped up from the floor, lending his hand for you to grab and propel you up. 

“I already work overtime, Richie,” you reminded him as he brought you to your feet.

“Right uh, I really should get Carm to pay you more for that,”

“You should,” you said, nodding a bit and just barely smiling, it seemed to be something neither of you could stop doing.

“Consider it out of my paycheck. A little catch up in your check for this week. I’ll get Carm to fix it tomorrow, promise,”

You nodded, then looked down, grateful but also a bit guilty. Anything out of Richie's pocket could basically be considered right out of the restaurant. Richie seemed to catch your worried look.

“You ‘aright?” he let a hand rest on your shoulder, leaning over to get a look at you. 

You nodded, sheepishly, but Richie just held onto your other shoulder.

“You sure?” you made eye contact, and willed yourself to reassure him.

“Yeah,” you nodded, and he let go.

“Kay, let’s get outta here,” he sighed, opening the door to the giant fridge.

“I promise you won’t regret this. I've got a nice 50 inch flatscreen, the most shining bathroom you’ve ever seen, and a pretty damn good bed,” He said, his eyes bright still but his face smug, until he caught your expression and dropped his own.

“That’s not what I uh…,”

“What’s goin on here cuz?” Carmy rounded the corner,

“Nothin, we’re just headin out,”

“We?” He looked at Richie, incredulous.

“Y/n was uh-”

“I’m staying at Richie's tonight. Just a temporary thing, my parents are having some friends and relatives over right now and I’m not really into opening the can o’ worms that is my life and career at the family function,” you chuckled nervously. You thought of the lie quicker than you were proud of, but knew it might resonate with Carm.

“Yeah no, that's… fine. Yeah, I uh, I understand,” he paused, ”I get it,”

He looked you both up and down, and it was only then that you noticed you were standing so close together your arms were touching. In the time the conversation started, neither of you made an effort to move away from the other. 

His brows raised, “Have fun you two,” he smirked and turned to leave.

“Very funny, Carm. Fuck you too!” Richie called after him, 

“Hope your playdate goes well!” he called back, just barely audible.

“What a dick,” Richie mumbled.

Remove the word ‘play’ from that sentence and the prospect of your staying over completely changed. Though you wondered, if the word 'play' really insinuated anything else, if not… other activities that could happen at a potential hangout. Was the word ‘play’ in ‘playdate’ in the context of two adults being around one another really any more appropriate than just simply saying date?

“Don’t listen to him,” Richie assured you, blue eyes wide and totally in your face.

You snapped out of zoning out, eyes flitting from the spot on Richie's neck where they rested.

“Sure,” you said half mindlessly, nodding your head and scrunching your nose.

“We are just two coworkers, who are going to one person's apartment, where we will do regular coworker things,” Richie stressed, as you two made your way to the back door, expressing it all with his hands and arms.

“Mhm mhm,” you nodded your head again, walking quickly, but not forgetting to swipe your bag of stuff from off the floor by the lockers.

“Like… sleeping,” he exclaimed a little too loudly, and you both paused in the doorway as soon as he said it.

“That keeps coming out wrong, doesn’t it?” he looked down, and then up at you, smiling a little bit.

He needed to stop doing that, it was starting to become addicting to watch.

“Yeah, it does,” you said with a sympathetic look of worry and also amusement.

“Yeah,” he flattened his mouth, his hands landing on his hips.

“I think maybe you should just stop talking about it for a bit,” you suggested.

“Yeah you're right, you're right. It’s a little weird huh?” he looked side to side, then down at the ground again, scratching his neck.

“I mean, not weird. Just a little, odd,”

“Just a little?” he looked up, smile growing on his face and cheeks still very pink.

“Just a little!” you chimed, and it looked like his eyes were smiling before his lips could.

“Yeah… good on ya babe. I should keep my mouth shut more often”

“Maybe not, completely shut?”

“Ah,”

“But just… mostly, shut,” you let your mouth curl into a smile.

“Right. Like a ventriloquist,” he offered, smiling back, a bit bashful.

“Yes, like a ventriloquist. Exactly,” you grinned and rubbed the space between your brows, he laughed a little.

You laughed as well, just barely, air escaping your nose and mouth. You exhaled, and let your smile fade with his. You both paused, eyes meeting in the comforting silence. Richie's mouth parted, before he clicked his tongue.

“My uh, my car is just at the end of the lot,” he grinned, 

“Right yes, lets go to that,”

“As you wish,” he swayed his hand out in front of him.

You simply smiled, and walked past him down the step to outside. He stopped before he could even walk forward.

“Wait, hold up. I gotta get my jacket… I’ll be right back,”

“Yeah, sure,”

He turned towards the lockers but promptly turned right back around.

“Do you need anything? You got all your stuff?”

“Yep! It’s just my bag,”

“Okay, alright, cool,”

He disappeared down the hall, and you turned to face the cold, all too familiar with the chill on your skin. You watched your breath in the air, as you exhaled, trying to slow the rising tempo of your heart. You hoped Richie's place was warm. You hoped he was warm.

“Alright!” you jumped a bit, but met him with kind eyes.

“Let's get this show on the road,”

[murmeloni]

Thinking about an AU of your Jason and Bruce (maybe even from the 5 times verse) where Jason gets shot in the head ala dicks ric arc, and just straight up does NOT remember being in a relationship with Bruce or anything post his moms OD. The sweet amnesiac angst of him discovering all these scars esp the autopsy scars and Bruce coming face to face with the Horrors~ afresh. Especially the batarang scar. Your penchant for writing internal conflict and high stakes emotion would make me RABID

Oh that idea is going straight into the wip folder!!!! I absolutely LOVE that!!!!

Just imagine the despair Jason feels when he tries to piece together what his life was like since he was 12 and coming to all the wrong conclusions (at least in some regards). Like, that while he was taken in by a rich guy who apparently loved him, that love wasn't enough. In fact it might have been precisely that love that ultimately and irreversibly tied his life to violence and death and blood. That he hasn't been able to escape any of it, that it's etched into his very bones. Even his love has teeth now. He knows because of the way Bruce acts around him.

Because of course Bruce, after witnessing Jason's first reaction to seeing himself, seeing his body, the scars etc. (and maybe even witnessing the shot to the head that started it all) is going through it. He's walking on egg-shells around Jason, shutting him out like only Bruce Wayne can and Jason, who doesn't know Bruce like he did before, thinks it's due to him being a horrible person. Maybe he's become like his father. Maybe he's been abusive and violent? He asks about his own scars and where they come from, he asks about Bruce's, of course he does, but no one will tell him, they won't even meet his eyes. He must be a fucking monster for them to do that, to be so scared of him (he doesn't know it's shame that keeps them silent). So he tries hard to gentle himself, to be soft, but it only seems to make things even worse. He is a stranger in his own skin, in his own home and he doesn't know what to do. He feels isolated.

Just Jason and Bruce in their own ways coming to terms with the heartbreaking realization that none of the hopes they'd harbored for their future, for Jason's future in particular, came to bear. The boy didn't even get to go to college, for fucks sake, which was his biggest dream growing up.

Just *chef's kiss*! You are a genius, anon. The mental anguish is delicious and I am kissing you on the mouth (if you're comfortable with that. Otherwise I'm high-fiving you so hard)

Also, you might be pleased to hear that the drugged Bruce fic is coming very soon 👀 I couldn't resist. It sits at 4k words now and it's probably getting at least 2k more. Not sure how long exactly it'll be and how long it'll take to finish but I'm certain I can upload it this month ❤️ loads of angst and pining and just typical Brujay emotions.

Thank you so much for this pre-birthday (it's tomorrow) surprise! I absolutely love your asks!

[eldritch-spouse]

Oh no, I drank a mysterious potion out of curiosity and now I'm ten inches tall. What will the clergy boys do?

You're tiny 🤏

Morell is so scared you're going to like... Fall into one of his pots and end up boiled to death. Nuh huh, you're staying in his smock's pocket. Or in his scarf. He doesn't want you running lose around his kitchen, you'll get cut, you'll get stomped, not happening. On the other hand, the chef would like some distance, because it would be so easy to just gobble you up and his intrusive thoughts are being merciless right now.

Gallon has a whole lot of fun pretending to dip you into drinks. You're only allowed to walk around the counter if you stick right in front of him. Otherwise he'll make a tendril just to hold you throughout the day. He's absolutely still going to try to trap you inside himself. It's much easier now! Although he doesn't want you to panic due to the size difference.

Santi is drooling. Oh sweet minx, you're going all sorts of ways. Santi's going to try to shove you into his slit, and it's not a bright idea. He wants you to hug his cock and kiss it and talk about how big he is. He wants to cum on you just to watch it drip off your body like hot wax. Santi needs to eat you out and stick your entire lower body in his mouth. He's so ready to have you grind on his finger, just drunk off the possibilities.

Grimbly... Is panicking. He's supposed to be the small one! Oh no. Everyone's going to try to take you away from him now that you're doll sized!! Grimbly tells you to hold onto his horns while he works, hissing violently whenever anyone gets too close and generally avoiding conversation with clients- Which is uncharacteristic. Maybe the bat likes being able to have you all to himself without effort, but it's not meant to be this way.

Nebul is perplexed. This will require some adaptation, for sure. Small as you are, he might as well get a container for you. A cage? No, don't look at him like that, he'll furnish it accordingly. Purpur is not allowed to touch you because he will crush you accidentally and cry himself to death. The wraith has to be much much lighter with punishments, but loves making you put on a tiny show for him while he strokes himself off. You're adorable.

Patches is more annoyed than anything. You can't just drink anything you find, are you nuts?! Stay on his desk, please. The dullahan unfortunately gets very distracted from his work and makes several breaks just to find an excuse to hold you, sometimes brushing pens against you, dislodging your clothes, tipping you over just so he can see your undies- Stitches has no hesitation in throwing you into his pants.

Vinnel is having such a grand old time! Ooooh boy, where's he going to put his dolly next? Oh, how about this very tall shelf. Sheesh poppet, how will make it down now, hm? He throws you in the air a little, only to catch you and do it again. You're stroked and pressed to orgasm several times until you've soaked his hand in your fluids, until you're crying for him to stop, and he's palming himself like a mutt to the show. You've also been sentenced to dress up dolly time forever now.

Belo is consumed by worry. Dear Krulu, you're so fragile like this! He needs to keep you safe at all times. Hold onto his head, his halo, please just don't let go of him, you can get lost or swiped or kicked and Belo wouldn't forgive himself if something happened to you. He wants to cut food into tiny pieces just so he can watch you try to chomp at it with his big old lavender eyes.

Sybastian puts you in his mouth. Immediately. No thoughts no questions just mouf. It's not exactly the best scent in the world, but you're very safe there, he won't swallow you. The mimiclings are thrilled about this and they will carry you everywhere behind Syb when he can't hold you himself. When alone, he's still going to lick you all over and try to make you grind on his tongue.

Fank-e squeals so high he breaks his voice box and probably deafens you a little. You're SO CUTE. Do a little dance! For him, please? You're staying in his torn up top the whole day while he speeds around, occasionally stopping to pet you, give you sips from drinks and presenting you to everyone he knows like a wet cat. Haha, look at my meow meow- He will still pin you on his palm and vibrate his thumb until you're squeaking and squealing.

Krulu sighs. You're already so small, this is just added insult. Fortunately, or unfortunately, you're sentenced to the role of a shoulder corvid, hanging off the protrusions near his clavicles or passed around between six hands like a toy. You're pretty useless at this size, so he makes sure that you stay within a safe range from him. The higher will shrink meals and pretend to be annoyed, but in reality, his lower eye is constantly darting to you and his lips twitch up sometimes. Precious.

[altschmerzes]

Hello! Just recently got into Ted Lasso and I'm really enjoying your fics! The characterization is just chefs kiss and the plots are just wonderful. I was just wondering how Roy reacts to the Jamie's poster in the baby AU? I feel like he would have lots of feelings about it. TBH I'm not exactly what those feelings would be, just that he had a lot of them. Hope you have a nice day!

im so glad you’re enjoying my work, thank you so much!!

and OH yeah he absolutely has a lot of feelings about it. a LOT. especially because of the context in which he learns about it. the poster is a secret much, much longer than in canon - they don’t talk about it at the gala and roy doesn’t actually find out about it until he sees it with his own eyes.

this is a bit of an explanation of some events around the 2x08 of it all in wriggle up so if anyone wants to go into that not knowing anything, im putting it under a cut! also cw for pretty direct references to child abuse.

so basically the crux of the 2x08 equivalent events in this fic is the discovery that jamie is 100% definitely without a doubt being abused, and he is currently seriously hurt after a particularly violent incident of abuse. there’s a confrontation with his father a la 2x08 and ted and roy end up taking him to a hospital after that because it becomes clear to them that he’s like. he is hurt and he needs medical attention. this is also how he actually Leaves his dad’s home for good. there’s some conversations with doctors and social workers at the hospital and ultimately ted takes him home and he never goes back to his dad’s place after that.

one of the things that happens in the next couple of days though is he needs his things. so, despite the fact that he’s sixteen and doesn’t need a babysitter, he’s dropped off with the higgins family to look after him while ted, roy, beard, and rebecca drive up to manchester to pay his dad a visit and make a few things clear about how things are gonna be from here on. (ie you will stay away and leave him alone, we’re here to get his things, if you make trouble we can make far worse trouble for you)

so they go to gather his things. beard and rebecca stay to make sure james doesn’t cause an issue while ted and roy go to get his things together. so roy is the one to first go into his room, and that’s where he sees the poster on the wall, clearly having been transported through a few moves, a little battered, and it just. breaks him. it’s the first time he cries about any of this, and he cries hard, though he also is careful to stay as quiet as he can because he doesn’t want jamie’s father to hear from the other room. ted is confused and alarmed until he sees what roy is looking at and well. yeah.

they’re very careful in removing the poster from the wall and rolling it up to take it with them. they don’t want to risk tearing it - it’s clearly very, very important to jamie. so they take it along and leave it in his room at ted’s along with the rest of his things for him to find so he can unpack and set it up however he wants.

[gogotti]

hey!! first off, your writing is just *chef's kiss*, i love it!!!

could i pretty please request smutty michael myers (og or rz) with an afab reader who is kinda silly, snarky, very much a funny friend/class clown type personality, and who likes egging him on and taunting him because they love when he's extra rough with them? they're just a wee bit of a brat who likes being scared and wants to be put in their place. tyyyy 💗🥺

First, thank you so much!! You are the first *chef's kiss* I've ever got so this made me very happy!!! I chose RZ for this because bark bark lmfaooo but I hope you enjoy it! I don't know if I interpreted this the right way so if I didn't I'm sorry, you are more than welcome to try again! ;) I did it half hc's and half fic cause I HAD to write the smutty part out.

and if you'd like to see more Michael Myers I have a few other fics!!

Michael Myers/Reader - NSFW

Warnings: none really, readers being silly goofy and fucking with Michael, Michael chokes you, Michael gets to cum but you don't :( I'm trying something new and using the word "cunt" instead of "pussy" so that's in there too

Messing with Michael was by far your favorite activity. 

Michael’s minding his business, sitting in his art room making masks, and you? You’ve been tearing small pieces of paper from the notepad at your side and trying to get one to land in his ear.

Michael’s trying to peacefully watch a movie and you're in the other room with the remote, turning it on and off to fuck with him and making him think he’s sitting on it

Every time he would huff and grunt at you, you would playfully do it back, effectively making any communication impossible. And earning you a warning growl when you passed the 5-minute mark

(Which was 3 minutes longer than Michael would have normally tolerated, so you saw it as a win)

Earlier you managed to find his candy stash, which he very much prided himself on hiding from you, and decided to parade around the house with his last remaining Hersey bar. You weren’t gonna eat it, of course, you were going to let him think you were.

The look on his face, which for once was one that you couldn't decipher, made chills go down your spine, and as Michael passed by you couldn't help but cower slightly.

You literally ran back to his stash and put it back. You also made a note to yourself to buy him more, just in case.

You even went as far as hiding his jumpsuit, which looking back at the situation from your standpoint now, was the best and maybe, possibly, the worst decision you’ve made yet.

It was obvious Michael wanted to go out tonight, his patience had been worn thin since he woke up and you were, intentionally, the cause of it. You were sitting comfortably in the center of your shared bed, watching and grinning every time Michael turned his back to you as he paced the room, desperately trying to remember where he last put his jumpsuit. You had been silent until this point, wanting Michael to simmer in his frustration a bit longer before you offered nothing but a witty comment to aggravate him further.

Your eyes swept around the room slowly, eventually settling on the closet he tore apart in his search. His jumpsuit sat comfortably under his pillow, folded as flat as you could get it in a fit of giggles, so Michael’s fit of destruction was very unnecessary, as well as a fitting punishment for you to deal with later. You glanced at Michal again, who stood silently across from you. “Michael, maybe you missed something in the clo-..!”

Michael rushed at you suddenly, you didn't have time to avoid the crushing fist that clamped around your neck; your sputtering and grabbing at Michael’s hand did not stop him from pushing you back against the headboard and knocking the wind out of you. As you struggled to breathe Michael stood above you, blue eyes staring down with less than violent intentions, surprisingly. His eyes were settled on his jumpsuit, folded and tossed haphazardly under his pillow, which had been tossed to the side in his fit. He knew that you were the one who put it there, so his eyes shot to you, and he huffed at your struggle to look innocent. “Oh… It’s under your pillow, Michael…” You looked at him cautiously before moving to pick it up and mindlessly wipe and mess with it. “Hm… wonder how it got there… I could’ve sworn-!!”

Again, Michael grabbed at your throat, only this time he kept you suspended. He quickly swiped everything but a single pillow off of the bed, tossing you down, and roughly flipping you over when you landed. It was much easier to let him toss you around, so you didn't bother moving; instead, you settled into your spot, quickly getting comfortable underneath him, a cocky grin forming on your face that you were glad Michael wasn't paying attention too. The sound of the nightstand being rummaged through grabbed your attention, and you could only turn your head slightly before he roughly grabbed your hair, shoving you into the pillow below you. You moaned into the pillow at the grip he had on your hair, just barely able to hear Michael’s huff from above you. The sudden noise of Michael tossing something onto the dresser drew your attention again, and only now could you hear the wet noises coming from Michael. 

He took his hand off of your head and slipped it underneath you, scooping you up slightly and moving around a bit before placing his cock between your thighs, close enough so the tip could bump against your cunt. You hummed as you felt Michael begin to move, placing you down and beginning to thrust slowly. His cock brushed against your clit deliciously, and your body immedietly melted at the feeling, soft breaths and moans spilling from your mouth as Michael rocked slowly above you. Michael shifted, the bed dipping on your sides slightly, and you quickly assumed he was adjusting, only to have your hair pulled roughly, your head flying back so you could see Michael perfectly. He quickly let go of your hair, now reaching for your throat and grabbing harshly. He placed his other hand on your hip, squeezing a bruise into your side as he began to thrust faster. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and high-pitched whines and moans poured from your hanging jaw, unable to close because of the brutal pleasure Michael was putting you through. 

His cock rammed into your clit, the feeling making your cunt clench around nothing and drawing a loud plea from your mouth. “Michael, please, I want you inside!” You whined loudly as Michael huffed and continued to roughly fuck your thighs, seemingly ignoring your plea. A yelp left your mouth as Michael slightly slowed for a moment to thrust himself into your cunt, grunting at the feeling of your walls clenching down onto his cock, and continuing his brutal pace. The stretch of Michael suddenly entering you was painful, but each rough thrust sent a shock of pleasure through you that made you bite into your lip in order to keep yourself grounded. It wasn't long before you felt the familiar pull of an orgasm begin to form in your core, and you could tell Michael was getting closer too, his thrusts began to get rougher and sloppier. You needed more, but whining and pleading for Michael to do literally anything to finally make you cum seemed useless since Michael wasn’t paying any attention to you. You could feel Micheal's hips stutter and slow as he thrust himself balls deep, filling your cunt. 

You whined as Michael slowed, and that feeling in your core began to fade until you were right back where you started: desperately needing Michael to rail you. He slowly pulled out and your eyes widened, “You're not done, are you?”

Michael of course didn't respond, instead, you watched as he got off of the bed and snatched his jumpsuit off of the floor, carelessly walking into the bathroom as you stared at him in shock. He came out of the bathroom shortly after, immediately turning toward the door to leave causing you to sit up quickly, speaking loud enough to get his attention.

“What if I said I’m sorry?”

[mariejordans]

can u recommend some good aus and fics about jordan and marie I'm begging you plsssssss

*gasp* oh my goodness i love this questionnnnn!

okay, i’ll give you my current top five limoreau fics uploaded to ao3, but honestly there’s so many good ones for you to pick from, you really can’t go wrong with anything. also, these aren’t ranked in any particular order just my top five in general!

(warning: a lot of these are smutty bc it’s the most common rating in the marie/jordan tag at the moment, so if smut’s not ur thing, let me know and i can do a top 5 of non-smutty limoreau fics!)

1. you can take my flesh if you want, girl by stormbxrnbitch

rating: E

this author has only two limoreau fics out right now and both are SO GOOD (seriously, i can’t recommend this author enough) but i’m obsessed with this au which is why i put it on the list!

this specific fic is a vampire au in which marie herself is a vampire (a cool take on her canonic bloodbending powers) and jordan’s kinda (super) into it. it’s a three-shot, kinda marie-centric, and just all around super interesting and compelling to read. it’s still a wip and it hasn’t gotten smutty YET, but the author has promised lots of it for the final chapter!

2. Want Want? by Cherrydrama and Levie101

rating: M

i’ve recommended it on here before but seriously, IT’S SO GOOD!

it was written before episode five came out, so it’s a jordan pov, canon divergence fic on what happens after limoreau wakes up in the bed together, and i don’t want to spoil it too much, but i will say one thing: SPARRING/TRAINING AU.

this one isn’t super smutty iirc, it’s rated M, so it’s good if you like spice but not a lot of smut in your fics.

3. The Weight Of You by Georgiathewholedaythrough

rating: M

another canon divergence fic! written before episode five, it’s also a take on what happens after they wake up in bed together, only this time things get…smutty. it’s marie pov, very sweet, very romantic, and funny too.

4. two timing by diaphanouspages

rating: E

this is a slight au (described by the author as “has a weird relationship to the show’s actual canon, but just accept the violent canon divergence and move on”) in which jordan attempts to make marie jealous, which works and then they end up in bed together. starts off angsty and kinda smutty, but also turns sweet towards the end.

also slight praise kink for jordan, so if you’re into that…

5. Reluctant Study Buddies by MercutioTheVelaryon

rating: M

another canon divergence fic taking place after episode 4 ending, but they all go in different directions i swear!

this is a study partners/study buddies au (as stated in the title) in which marie and jordan are assigned to be partners on a project for one of their classes. it gets a bit steamy, but it fades to black so if you aren’t comfortable with explicit smut, this might be for you! also, very funny and the banter between jordan and marie in it is *chef’s kiss*

(also this author has a bunch of other limoreau fics uploaded, which i also really loved, so i recommend you check those out as well!)

THATS IT THATS THE LIST! i genuinely hope it helped even a little bit, and that it gives you the mariejordan fix we’ve all been craving since thursday 😭 also, let me know your thoughts after you’ve read if you want, i’m always down to ramble on about gen v/limoreau nonsense!

[tennessoui]

I fucking LOVE the most recent playmaker snipper (kisses to distract) because you can see EXACTLY how Obi-Wan becomes who he does. He kisses Quinlan knowing it will get the man killed, because Quinlan's life is not as important as Obi-Wan getting to stay with Anakin. Yes, it was spur of the moment, but it's still a decision he made and has to live with. And then when Anakin asks him why, and he's like (1/?)

"I told you I was cold ... as if he’d been so cold he found another man’s body to keep him warm in the minutes he was away from Anakin." This is ABSOLUTELY the man who calls out Cody's name in revenge because Anakin comes home late for Christmas. This is the beginning of that monster, and it's so so perfectly constructed to play to all his insecurities. I just... chef's fucking kiss, kit, you've done it again (2/2)

(in reference to this playmaker au snippet)

so i love love love all the playmaker stuff i've written that's set in the distant future where it's clear that obi-wan has been successfully warped into a monster that very nicely matches anakin's and now he's kidnapping babies and violently killing home intruders and also his own father

but ugh there's something i love the most about the ficlets/scenarios where he's just starting out in the mob and is either totally innocent (like the very first snippet) or in the midst of his transformation

like he totally regrets kissing vos because he knows that means vos is going to die--but in the moment the only thing he cares about is not leaving anakin and doing whatever he can to stay by his side which is objectively insane!! and then he does this a few months later all over again to maul when maul is threatening to tell vader that obi-wan is a rat. it's the same action, same kiss of death, it's driven by the same gut-instinct fear of being abandoned by the person he loves and it's so fucked up of him to do not just once to a guy he actually likes but twice!!

i bet anakin spends a long time expecting obi-wan to try and run post-leaving the police department, once the realization of all that he's done sets into him, and he's ready to drag the city the way you drag a lake in order to get him back (aka total destruction if that's what it takes) but obi-wan would literally never leave him even just to tease

he'll cut his hair and steal a baby and make anakin's life incredibly complicated in punishment for anakin, say, not doing his fucking taxes, but he'd never ever actually leave - he's perpetually a little scared that anakin would just let him go

(and anakin would never, but it's also best if obi-wan never knows that for sure. best for anakin at least)

[eurydicees]

so i’ve had a night to sleep on it and a full day of work and i still feel fucking deranged. so. thoughts on the haikyuu movie (*SPOILERS* + long post under the cut):

ok general impressions first—

oh my god it was so good. i’m inconsolable. it was really really good.

i was so strong and normal in the public movie theater until the start of the third set.

at which point i started trembling violently.

which turned to silent crying at the last like five points until the end of the movie.

i’m so sorry to the one other guy sitting in my row.

Anyways. i know we were all apprehensive abt it being a movie but i think it actually worked really well

pacing was good and iirc they managed to fit almost everything in there, which. is very impressive

plus the experience of getting to watch this game all at once in a theater was really fun

HUGEEEE props to the sound editing team oh my god. i could FEEL every spike in my chest and every breath was tangible and the cheering sections were phenomenally mixed and the squeaking of sneakers on the floor throughout….and then the CRAZY moments of pure silence…….man.

AND THE SOUNDTRACK. THE MUSIC. THE MUSICCCCCCC. there is one thing haikyuu will never do and that is miss with the music. oh my god even just the OPENING had me shaking. the music added SO MUCH and was SO well done.

the animation in general was REALLY good. especially that final point of the game which i will mention more later bc man. god. the animation was REALLY GOOD.

the characters were all so well done. like yeah ofc but. they were so good.

i walked in with an already deep love for nekoma and i walked out feeling like my heart had burst with how much love i have for them

kuroo and kenma in particular were REALLY good. there was a good amnt of childhood kuroken and when i tell you i was sobbing for half of it…

also very good was tsukishima!! he’s not one of my faves usually but he had me silently screaming in the movie theater during this game

and OF COURSE hinata. how could i not mention him. he was done so well. i watched it dubbed and the voice acting was VERY good.

no fukurodani game so. Sad. but also i do think if they had put that in there it would have broken the tension in a bad way, so i’m not actually upset about it. praying for an ova or smth

overall good blend of memory/flashback and realtime gameplay

re: flashbacks--a lot of them were to childhood kuroken and a lot of them were also just to training camps and scenes we've seen before but in a different pov....biting down on things rn

re: gameplay--saw some review that was like "gah they expect you to care about the characters/teams already and dont tell you who to root for" bitch YEAH and that's the POINT ! so yeah. if you care about the characters already and love both teams. *chef's kiss*

besides that they did NOT pull ANY punches. the game is REAL from the FIRST whistle, maybe only 10-15 minutes in

which like. that was the only way to do it. and they did not fucking hesitate

some stand out moments for me, in no particular order—

*disclaimer i have a rly bad memory so if im mixing some moments up i apologize. you shouldn't take this as an official source for anything.*

oh my god the last point was done BEAUTIFULLY. it’s already such an insane way to end the game and i swear the movie was just as insane.

they did the last few minutes of the game through kenma’s eyes, so you’re seeing his pov of the court and the ball, and that glimpse of the practice match moment, until the ball slips and it cuts to his eyes. oh my god. i went crazy i went crazy i am STILL going CRAZY.

kenma falling down and “that was fun” going into kuroo’s laugh……………changed LIVES !!!!!!

similarly, kenma’s last speech of the game oh my god oh my god oh my god

we KNEW it was one of my favorite speeches in any manga ever but they genuinely did it justice. the cuts between shots of the court and kuroo inviting kenma to play volleyball and kenma following him out the door and leaving behind a video game controller and a volleyball magazine……what if i went crazy forever and ever and ever !!!!!!!!

ALL of the childhood kuroken moments…..literally feeling deranged about them

TSUKISHIMA SOMETIMES ITS ACTUALLY FUN !!!!!!

everything about tsukishima and kuroo’s banter across the net was incredible

tsukishima laughing...... im EMOTIONAL !!!!

all of the little glimpses and montages they had to training camps and practices outside of actually playing, when they were just hanging out……sir im crying !!!!

they all reminded me a lot of the special one shot where kai has that moment of reflection on his volleyball career but all that came to mind were the breaks where he was hanging out with his friends…..i’m gonna cry thinking abt it.

HINATA’S CENTER BOOM JUMP. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. i think i actually like. gasped. <<< knew it was going to happen

OOOOOOH. when kenma has his panic moment of oh what do i do and then kuroo comes up and it flashes between that spike and them learning to spike together as kids……what if i went ballistic right fucking now

the “we are each other’s teacher” moment jesus fucking christ. they didn’t say that line but. you’ll know it’s that scene when it happens. i think it broke something inside me.

that might've been around when the tears started coming but it's all kinda a blur lol

kurodai hug. yeah.

after the game kai's im glad i spent these three years with you...felt that scene in my bones

kenma "keep surprising me, shoyo. this is good" << lines that will live in me forever

getting to see kenma and hinata's first meeting again but from kenma and kuroo's pov.......killing biting kicking maiming sobbing

lmfao post-credit scene. daishou <3

the glimpses of tendou and goshiki watching together were rly funny. obsessed w tendou as always.

kenma "i thought kageyama would lose interest in hinata if he had no wings" kozume vs tobio "i will make you fly" kageyama.........showdown of the century

THE CAGE IMAGEERYYYYYYYYYY. THE CROW BREAKING FREE. IM NOT NORMAL ABT IT.

oh my god. fuck ok i can't forget this one, in that final “i never want this to end” scene youre in kenma’s pov and you fall down and all you can see is kenma’s reflection in his own sweat dripping onto the court i am SHAKING remembering it

speaking of, they wove the foreshadowing w the sweat on the court and the ball etc into the game really seamlessly and aghadlgkjahg;ajdgfkal. god. ok. this is fine.

anyways. the animation in that sequence goes SO HARD. the animation overall goes so hard. im in hysterics.

ok this got long but there's DEFINITELY more things that im missing...idk these are just my first thoughts. i want to see it again. i NEEEEED to see it again. oh my god i feel crazy. i love haikyuu so much. i love it so much. like so much. did you know i love haikyuu.

[carmenized-onions]

NEW CHAPTER, 14, new recap (can you believe the first one i recapped was chapter 5 oh my) lets rip some coke and goooo

“I thought it was a good bit!” “Cause I’m a piece of shit?” - IVE MISSED THISS

CHARMIN SOUNDS LIKE CHARMING 🥹🥹🥹

the deer in headlights bit is v funny, you’ll see when you see the memes (which i made before the chapter, i am nostradamus)

she is fruity for sure

nodding like i understand food talk (tf is a3)

unrelated but the same therapist thing reminded me about something i keep forgetting to bring up - RICHIE IS HR. so when you mentioned the bear needs an HR, well they do. and as long as carmy treats chip right i think he’ll accept the co-worker relationship (anything to be able to work with chippy)

THE CAT. he is those cute curly kitties. the shat, iykyk

the fact carmen wants to say ‘i love you’ this early (something he struggled a lot to say to his family) IS SOOOOOOOOO

OMG CHIPPY GOING TO WORK FOR THEM FOR REAL????:333333333

This has been Carmichael Burrowski, folks! Don’t call no one— — DNEKRKRIOELEKDKFODNEKE CARMICHAEL BURROWSKI

Ugh, boyfriend? What kind of word is ‘boyfriend’? That's fucked. - THEYRE SO SIMILAR AND PERFECT TOGETHER

And you cannot say you love him because that would be weird. - OH SHUT UP THEYRE SO

“I’m going to kiss you.” “Yeah, okay.” - THAT IS SO FUNNY SJDJFJKF

He’s fine with the touch of hair pulling, on your part— Possibly more than fine. — *giggles in meme*

“You’re so pretty.” You tell him anyway, speaking into his half open mouth.  Whatever thought he had, it’s dead now.“—Jesus fucking Christ.” - i need them to know how much i love them jesus fucking christ

“I’m not a fucking virgin.” - LMFAOEKRKKEOEKEKRNRKRKRKEKEKEKE

“It was a recent development, okay?” “Darn. Sorry I was late.” - 🥺🥺🥺 imagine -

“I want you in every sentence.” - FUCKING KILL ME WHY DONT YOU CARA MIA😭

to bite you like a cannibal - this man and his hickeys🤭🤭🤭

“Fak is still outside, I’m pretty sure.” - CHIP??1?2?2?3kr3kr3kr3kr838484kr4&4&4

“Wait— Are they?” Oh, so Richie’s here, too? Good. - oh great everyone’s here, bet squid is there too

NUZZLING NOSES

her old cat, her old pu-

Nuzzling your face into Syd’s cheek - squidink as she’s holding carm’s hand?? wild

“First of all, wrong placement.” - ofc it is

When shit happens, you call me - 🥺🥺🥺 bestie!!!

“Get your weird little hands off my Chip, you perv—” - LMFAOOOW DJEJEJDJDJ I LOVE HIM SO

and syd’s reply sidjdifi

“Y’know how going to a different barber is like cheating—?” - SJDJDJ GET HIS ASS CHIP. they swapped her for fucking ted fak???

“You’re still— We’re still sharing, right?” - SYD SHENJEHEJE

I’m sexually normal - very normal thing to say, it me tho

OMFG IF CHIP RECOGNIZES DONNA AND PETE FROM OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT

“Baby’s do traditionally experience time, yeah.” “You n’ that smart mou—” - their dynamic is unmatched

You have to respect the power in that. “Damn.” - that reminded me of marcus

“Oooh, Charmin gets his first paycheck suddenly he’s all that—” “You wanna come up to my room or not?” - i was gonna comment on the charmin thing but HELLO1??1?23)kr3:kr

THEY CAN HANG. SURE BRO

THEYRE WATCHING RATATOUILLE OMGGGGG

Sleeveless black turtleneck? Maybe black palazzo pants - HOT

Please say yes to the white apron. Please say yes to his team. He'll get your initials monogrammed and everything. - *passes out*

the wonderful rat chef

ON GOD

“Yeah. I’ll answer.” - bc 🥺😭

“You’re fucking Carmen!” - GOODBYEEEE. not carmen outing them YET AGAIN

“So fuck you, actually.” - 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

“Fuck off! I’m already coming to fucking Time Square with you, don’t be whiny.”  - this is giving when dwight was like ‘of course i’ll get that stuff for you so just shut up’

“I nominate Carmen.” “I second the nom.” - tag-team<33

Don’t fuck in a fuckin’ Holiday Inn Chip’s worth mo - he’s so sweet and yet so???

HE CALLED CHIP BABY I REPEAT

It's absolutely going in Carmen's top five favourite expressions of yours. - 🕊️🕊️🕊️

“Syd said she will be knocking violently if I’m not back at midnight on the dot, yeah.” - SQUID GIVING HER GF A CURFEW

THE BERF SHIRT

“God, it’s over—” - squidink is so over rn😔

“Baby, just say you’re happy for me.” - BABY. THEYRE SO BACK

squid can stab men, a little, as a treat

You hand her your water bottle when you spot her looking at it. - 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

her instinct is to call chip, oh OH oh

“I didn’t ask you to be great.” Syd says it before she thinks it, and it’s enough to make your eyes water - MINE ARE RUNNING TOO ACTUALLY

God you’re dehydrated - *careless whisper plays* i mean what I SAID NOTHING

squid out🦑🦑

“It’s so crazy that you think that’s gonna happen—” - I LOVEEE SHEEE

Your shoulders touch as you both stare at the ceiling. - CUTIES

She hums, pointing to the popcorn tiles - namedrop! jk…unless?

“Oh my fucking God it’s that bad—”- GET THEIR ASSES SQUID

In front of everyone, accidentally while saying goodbye, off-handedly while hanging up, over text, and so on and so forth. - all of those are cute actually

“Now it’s three.” “Fuck, it’s gaining interest?!” - WE’RE SO BACK!!!!

“Wait, what the fuck, Syd, say it back!” - REAL!!

this was so cute!! just them and their adventures

LETS. GET. ROLLLINNGGGG!!!! (papers!!!) (we both can do drug jokes in this house!!!) (there will be a wip under all this as a treat I promise)

I’m honestly shocked Charmin isn’t a canon nickname (yet!!), cause like. IT DOES SOUND LIKE CARMEN!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS!!! AND THE TOILET PAPER BEARS ARE BLUE NOW TOO!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!

You are frfr an oracle with your memes, occasionally I look at em like hmmmmm,,,, this is gonnna be a lot funnier after the next one. My comedic Nostradamus genius. (the secrets of the universe ARE in the popcorn ceiling!! U!!)

The benefit about writing about food for people who did not come for food is that I also don’t have to fully understand what I’m saying. Had to look at a wagyu chart and make a lot of assumptions. I am not going to make steak with pop rocks to find out if it’s any good.

OKAY WHAT THE FUCK I S RICHIE’S JOB I’M BEING SO FR I DO NOT !!! Carmen’s Exec, Syd’s CDC/Head, Richie is… HR/Co-Manager/Host??? No wonder he can afford fuckin eras tour tickets bro is getting THREE DIFFERENT PAYCHECKS WHAT!!! But this does make sense. Bro IS THEE Human Resource.

Had to look up photos of sheep cats. Yeah that’s him. That’s Carmen but a Cat for sure.

RAHH. The held back I love yous are very. Very rah. Theres a lot of thought behind them for me but I shant share because I feel like that may give too much away I fear?

Carmichael burrowski is brought to you by seeing Carmichael company vans a lot and Mae Burrowski from Night in the Woods. Thank u both for ur service.

I completely forgot about the ‘that’s fucked’ convo with Fak until I saw a gifset and went OH YEAH…. It IS fucked. They are so stupid. They are also both unable to say I love you because that would be WEIRD!!!!!!!

I am so happy with the incredibly funny smooch because it was very much to mimic Carmen’s —

I think funny kisses are the way to go. There is something very charming (CHARMIN!) to me about awkwardly expressed consent.

YOU DIDN’T PUT THE RATATOULLIE MEME IN THIS ONE FOR THE PUBLIC TO ENJOY AND FOR THAT!!! YOU’VE DEPRIVED OUR PEOPLE!! i knew if I was gonna make him watch ratatouille and have him relate, he’d have to relate to more than just remy.

I’ll call them and let them know you love them, promise. Whenever they get out of the bathroom.

Carmen 30-Year Old Virgin Berzatto— Or 28-29, time line is UNCLEAR!! Regardless, I couldn’t take away my man’s one W. He fumbles most people, I had to let him have the one he canonically got. And also it was too fun to consider him absolutely STEWING as Tony recounts her emotional relationship with Mikey, just thinking in the background “I need to tell her I am in fact. NOT . a virgin!” I hate this man.

I WANT YOU IN EVERY SENTENCEEE RRAAAWHWHWHEHE!!! Loved that. Loved writing that paragraph. Love love. Love wanting to have someone so intrinsically in your life that in order for someone to know you they have to know them. WOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Carmen give her a hickey before we have to confront the emotional implications, GET HER BOY!!

Well how much did you bet on syd being there because now I owe you

CHIPS GOT TWO HANDS FOR A REASON BABY!!! I’m kidding the triangle would never work. But they should try anyways.

Whole Richie scene makes me :)) it’s fun to navigate these two going through like, so many internal emotions obviously over Chip’s trauma dump, and deciding what Richie would actually take a moment to comment on. And I think it absolutely has to be the ‘imagine your friends are dead’, bro 100% HAD TO BE HELD BACK FROM RAMMING THE DOOR DOWN TRULY TRULY. Don’t imagine I’m fuckin dead cousin!!!!!! I’m not a fuckin ghost!!! Call me!!!!!!!!! I am literally your guy!!!!!

Watching season 3 and seeing half of the season unnecessarily focusing on a Handyman (Ted) really had me clutching my pearls like. Bro. where’s my baby. Who the fuck does this guy think he is. This is CHIP TURF!!

BIG SHOUT OUT TO SYDNEY ‘THE SQUID’ ‘SEXUALLY NORMAL’ ADAMU!~

Donna!! Donna!! Finally semi-time that I have to face my white whale of writing,,, da mom… I’m still mentally tackling how to write her, but we’ll get there when we get there…. (truly thought she was gonna fucking die this season I didn’t think I was gonna have to DEAL WITH IT!!)

Everyone simultaneously did a record scratch at ‘do you want to come up to my room’ and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s everything I wanted and more. They can hang bro. and watch ratatouille. Like hang out and be normal and fantasize about easily removable aprons with monogramming done.

Carmen is a certified shoe in his mouth yapper. Sugar, hand the crown to your brother, you may step off your throne; because this fucker has gotten caught like three separate times simply by being himself.

VERY DWIGHT Very like, sibling texting ‘fuck you I hate you what do you want from mcdonalds im omw home’. That’s the Richip dynamic to me. And then they kill carm.

Chip baby!!! This is not a drill he finally called her a pet name!! men, to your stations! And she didn’t even have the brain to COMPUTE IT, alas.

The post squid scene was so tough I was like, ‘do I cut this and just end on carmen?’ but then I knew, I’d never write this scene, cause spoiler alert, we’re doing a very slight time skip. So like. I just wanted Squidink to have their actual last beat to their sad no contact era because!!! So many feelings to be had over not contacting your boy in forever!!! But god its so OVER!

‘Didn’t ask you to be great’ is SUCH a punch to the gut, esp for a people pleaser like Chip (or me, man). Like. Fuckin. GOD. It’s the same sentiment Richie had in Just Dropped with ‘I’d love you even if you weren’t useful’, but like, this side of it is pre-useful. Like. Not only would I love you if you weren’t useful, I would never ASK you to be useful. HELL.

All of those I love yous are cute you say? Well I will have to up my game in coming up with something truly mortifying, then.

Shout out to me, directing on set, and demanding that my crew says it back when I say I love you. Genuinely my ‘Heard’ is a reciprocated ‘I love you’. No one call Richie/HR.

also the memes. immaculate as always. AND THE AUTHOR/CHIP COMPARISON,,, ART IMITATES LIFE, what can i say? if carmen/chip manage to live together at a point i really can't imagine him denying anything she wants. i think he would only have opinions on the kitchen and maybe efficiency of moving through spaces. (WE NEED TO PUSH THE COFFEE TABLE BACK!!! SIDLING AGAINST IT TO GET TO THE COUCH IS CAUSING A 3.4 SECOND DELAY IN MOVIE TIME!!!!) psycho.

Anyways. As always, a pweasure to hear your thoughts. I am hoping next weekend will finally be the fucking weekend I put something out. It’s hard slugging through this next chapter because it’s basically our so much fucking dialogue chapter, and navigating action and meaning AROUND that has been a nightmare. I think I’m probably over thinking the fuck out of it, to be fair. I feel so bad making y’all wait, so here is a juicer snippet.

THANK YOU LOVE YOU APPRECIATE ALL UR PATIENCE AND ALL UR THOUGHTS I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YALL!!

[slaytheprincessfanacc]

Ranking all of the Voices

this is totally not biased at all :>

11. Voice of the Cold

a lot of people might violently disagree with me on this one but personally I’ve never been into any edgy sexymen besides from the Onceler (that is called a joke btw)

idk man he’s just too edgy and willing to kill the princess I guess he’s sorta cool tho

10. Voice of the Broken

maybe I just never went into a sad edgy man phase now that I think about it idk

9. Voice of the Hunted

i put him here mostly because I avoided the Beast route so I don’t know a lot about him, might change this and move him if I decide to stop avoiding the Beast lmao

8. Voice of the Skeptic

again, don’t know enough about him cause I avoided the prisoner route since it seemed boring, same thing I said for the voice of the hunted applies here (damn I really am clueless huh)

7. Voice of the Opportunist

kinda funny but tries to kill the princess too much

6. Voice of the Cheated

lol get rekt

5. Voice of the Hero

nice but considers morals too often

4. Voice of the Paranoid

he ran our autonomic nervous system more than once that’s pretty cool

3. Voice of the Stubborn

i can admire a man who loves butch women

2. Voice of the Contrarian

what a silly giddy tomfooler. reminds me a lot of cat memes which goes well with me since I have an album of 300 of those on my phone

1. Voice of the Smitten

i love him like he loves the princess. good boy, very sweet and accepting chefs kiss mwah

[killersnarl]

// sfw alphabet for nine under the cut because i am sick and cannot work on cooler content rn 😔 go crazy

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

as a baseline i’d say he’s a very affectionate person. he’s not afraid of initiating it either, even in tense or violent situations he can be very warm and cordial. in situations like these i think a lot of people can take it as a mockery or some sort of weird threat, which can be partially true, but not always. sometimes his comforts are genuine but just happen to scare the shit out of people, he doesn’t give up tho.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

i’ll say that he’s very elusive and just disappears for days at a time sometimes. he’s a very hard person to be friends with because he’s notoriously hard to get ahold of. you’d never know much about him or his life, but he’d end up knowing everything about yours.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

nine is naturally a very touchy person i think, that’s kind of just how he is, very into tapping on shoulders and such. when he does actually hold people though it’s very very lightly because he’s always conscious of how much force he’s using. he’s automatically very heavy handed so he really has to be aware of himself.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

there will be no settling down ever. he’s mediocre at cooking it’s definitely not that bad but he’s no chef, i would trust him to cook me food and not kill me while also having it taste relatively good. nine is a very very clean person so even though his spaces might be kind of cluttered sometimes he’s very good with cleanliness upkeep. i will say there’s at least 5 empty water bottles on his nightstand tho.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

the most horrible way possible actually. nine will do almost anything to convince people to dislike him because he loves self sabotage and ruining everything that makes him happy. no matter what he will find a way to make you leave him eventually.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

don’t even get me started on how deathly allergic he is to the idea of commitment

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

very much so. physically it can be a litttle difficult because he has to be very careful with how much force he applies all the time but he does his best and usually he does it very well, very soft touches. emotionally he can be very gentle with people which might be surprising, even if he’s dropping his whole murder monologue bomb on you he somehow finds a way to be very calm and gentle about it a lot of the time.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

nine hugs are warm and all encompassing. very very nice and cozy if nine hugged me i would immediately fall asleep. he’s very soft and cushy. and i think we all know he doesn’t mind people initiating physical contact with him.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

genuinely do not know if he’s ever seriously told another human being that he loves them except for his mother. it’s not that he doesn’t like or love people, he just doesn’t express it that way. i think part of him thinks it’s embarrassing to the other person so he just never verbally expresses it seriously.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

there is not a jealous bone in his body actually i don’t even know if he’s capable of this. maybe when he was like 17 and always mad idk. it’s actually comical he is not jealous or envious of anyone he’s like 31 and has already accepted that he is a depraved useless person that deserves nothing.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

very good actually. he talks to them like tiny adults and they tend to like him cause he’s big and nice. i will say he might curse around them though because he forgets.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

this is assuming you’ll ever see the day where you find a way to wake up before he dips

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

it varies very heavily because there’s a lot of things that could be happening at night and some of those things are nice but some of them are scary.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

never ever. he will actually go to great lengths to avoid telling people about himself, his only interest is knowing about other people. he’s somehow mastered switching the topic of conversation onto others.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

nine has absolutely incredible patience and he does not get mad ever, not outwardly at least. there’s not really anything for him to be mad about regardless. he’s a very calm and patient person no matter how intense the situation might be, he’s really just never in a rush. however in his late teens he was very different.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

he remembers everything, more than you probably remember about yourself. that’s the one joy he’ll allow himself to have, knowing things about people and asking questions about them. it’s a little scary.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

we all know how nine feels about the concept of relationships

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

very actually. nine doesn’t want to be protected in the slightest, but he does want to protect other people. he doesn’t want any harm brought to people that haven’t done anything, but i will say that most people have probably done something in their lives.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

nine does not do dates or anniversaries or gifts. on a broader spectrum it’s not that he doesn’t try at things it’s just kind of that he’s pretty mediocre. if you asked him to draw a cat for you he would definitely do it but it would be ugly.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

okay well i would say the constant self sabotage and destruction is probably not good. and when i say constant i mean constant sometimes it’s so stupid. sometimes he’ll get his favorite soda and then give it to someone else just so he can’t have it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

very but not in the way you’d expect. he’s concerned because he wants to keep himself ugly and hide his face from people. he doesn’t really put any effort into making himself “pretty” aside from basic cleanliness and hygiene but that’s only because when it comes to his body he’s a complete clean freak. plus all his clothes look pretty stupid.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

no ! to be honest he will never feel complete because he will not allow anything to make him happy and he likes it that way. there will always be something missing and he’s destined to walk the rest of his life like that. he thinks of himself as some sort of pyramidhead like figure, some sort of executioner and purveyor of doom cursed to do this until he can’t walk any more. there is no suffering but there is no lack of suffering.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

i can’t make headcanons because i made him so here’s some ezzy made:

dad mannerisms. he makes the most heinous dad-like noises when he sits down or gets up.

exclusively wears those dc shoes with the tongue halfway up the calf.

nails and nail beds are disturbingly well kept.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

the one thing that really grinds his gears is people who are ungrateful to be alive. he’ll make you happy to be alive in the most unnecessary and gruesome way possible. he does not like it when people don’t appreciate the gift of life and living and he especially doesn’t like it when they attempt to throw that opportunity away.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

overall he’s a very sleepy guy and he does have a bad habit of taking cat naps and not having an actual sleep schedule. i think i can also mention his horrible snoring and sleep apnea LOL