#as ive never heard those words before in my life and i quite like them

[tennessoui]

I fucking LOVE the most recent playmaker snipper (kisses to distract) because you can see EXACTLY how Obi-Wan becomes who he does. He kisses Quinlan knowing it will get the man killed, because Quinlan's life is not as important as Obi-Wan getting to stay with Anakin. Yes, it was spur of the moment, but it's still a decision he made and has to live with. And then when Anakin asks him why, and he's like (1/?)

"I told you I was cold ... as if he’d been so cold he found another man’s body to keep him warm in the minutes he was away from Anakin." This is ABSOLUTELY the man who calls out Cody's name in revenge because Anakin comes home late for Christmas. This is the beginning of that monster, and it's so so perfectly constructed to play to all his insecurities. I just... chef's fucking kiss, kit, you've done it again (2/2)

(in reference to this playmaker au snippet)

so i love love love all the playmaker stuff i've written that's set in the distant future where it's clear that obi-wan has been successfully warped into a monster that very nicely matches anakin's and now he's kidnapping babies and violently killing home intruders and also his own father

but ugh there's something i love the most about the ficlets/scenarios where he's just starting out in the mob and is either totally innocent (like the very first snippet) or in the midst of his transformation

like he totally regrets kissing vos because he knows that means vos is going to die--but in the moment the only thing he cares about is not leaving anakin and doing whatever he can to stay by his side which is objectively insane!! and then he does this a few months later all over again to maul when maul is threatening to tell vader that obi-wan is a rat. it's the same action, same kiss of death, it's driven by the same gut-instinct fear of being abandoned by the person he loves and it's so fucked up of him to do not just once to a guy he actually likes but twice!!

i bet anakin spends a long time expecting obi-wan to try and run post-leaving the police department, once the realization of all that he's done sets into him, and he's ready to drag the city the way you drag a lake in order to get him back (aka total destruction if that's what it takes) but obi-wan would literally never leave him even just to tease

he'll cut his hair and steal a baby and make anakin's life incredibly complicated in punishment for anakin, say, not doing his fucking taxes, but he'd never ever actually leave - he's perpetually a little scared that anakin would just let him go

(and anakin would never, but it's also best if obi-wan never knows that for sure. best for anakin at least)

[purple-babygirl]

in the far corner of the forest IV

Pairing: Orc!Bucky Barnes x human!f!reader

Word Count: 6,540

Summary: For the longest time, the kingdom has used Bucky as their number one fighter, forcing him to win their wars for them. The only thing he asked for in return after he was done was that they give him a wife, and they did. They handed him the orphan he picked on a silver platter; it wasn't like anyone would miss her. It would've been perfect if she actually wanted to be there though.

Warnings: mentions of hand injury, idiots in love, feels, jealousy, racism against orcs, angry behaviour, shouting, fight gets slightly physical, bruised arm, crying, angst (i'm sorry). I think that's all.

A/N: good news result in long chapters. thank you from the bottom of my heart for everyone who has wished me good luck with my interview, you guys are angels. please enjoyxx💜💜

~

“You’re in love.”

“I’m what now!?” Bucky chuckled dismissively as he dropped his axe.

Bucky had spent half a day at home, refraining from going to work because of his hand’s condition, but as much as he loved staying home with her, he knew he wasn’t made to take a break.

So he thought he would visit, talk to Sam for a bit and maybe get some pent up ‘feelings’ out on some tree logs. His metal arm was still working just fine after all.

“I said, you’re in love with your human wife,” Sam repeated, smiling so warmly that Bucky wanted to smack him.

“I got her a few weeks ago.” Bucky shook his head in denial of the mere idea of him falling for anyone, let alone a human.

He did love Sam and Sarah, but that was it. They were the only humans he could tolerate. He hated the rest of them. Hell, he hated the human half of himself.

Bucky was just trying to make life easier for himself, that was all. He has been through enough conflicts and he didn’t need this in his marriage too. He deserved to live a normal life like everybody else.

Yes, he was courting her, and maybe he did constantly crave the feel of her body against his ever since she let him hug her the night of the injury, and he was definitely getting hopeful now that she hadn’t tried to run for a whole half day, but that didn’t mean he was in love! Did it?

“And now you’re in love with her.” Sam smirked, knowing how much it drove Bucky crazy that a female human had him on his knees for her love.

“Quit saying that!” Bucky stood up, ready to walk away from his annoying friend.

“Why does it make you so angry that you’re in lo—”

“Don’t,” Bucky warned him, eyes angry and glaring.

“—ve?”

“I am not in love with her, okay! She’s human! Plus, that girl drives me crazy! Do you know how many times I had to bring her back after she’d tried to run in the first two weeks? Five fucking times! That’s almost once every two days, Sam. And she only had one foot working!” Bucky ranted heatedly, desperate to negate his best friend’s theory.

Was he in love with her? And if Sam could see it, did that mean she could too?

“Well, why do you care to bring her back? Why not just let her run?” Sam shrugged, internally dying for Bucky to acknowledge his feelings.

“She could die out there! Humans are weak.”

“So?” Sam probed, intentionally ignoring Bucky’s remark about humans’ strength.

“So— so I signed all those things when she was offered to me. She can’t— I can’t—”

“You can’t?”

“I can’t let her get hurt,” Bucky admitted lowly, sitting down on a log with a loud sigh.

“Why does that make you so upset?” Sam dug deeper.

“Because I think you’re right. I think I might be in love with her.” Bucky rubbed his eye with his good hand, pushing his hair back angrily.

“And?”

“And she thinks I’m the devil.” Bucky’s face fell to his palms.

“Did she ever say that to you out loud?” Sam asked, touching the end of his sharpened blade.

“She doesn’t need to, Sam. I see it in her eyes every time I find her after she’d tried to run away.” Bucky’s voice was broken like his friend has never heard before.

“I thought you said everything was better after your injury?”

“Yeah, but that’s not gonna last forever.” Bucky gave a sad grin, ���she’s soon gonna go back to seeing me the same as before.”

“Well, it’s up to you to change her mind, Buck.” Sam patted his friend’s shoulder, giving a squeeze.

Bucky sighed once more before getting up.

Sam was a human. A very handsome one with much less scars and non-icy skin. He would never understand. It would never work. She hated him.

He could continue trying, but it wouldn’t change anything of the way she felt about him and their marriage. She had told him time and time again how she felt about both.

“Going home already?”

“Yeah, I can’t miss the running away bit. It’s my favourite,” he sighed, Sam's laugh trailing behind him.

“Smile at her for a change.”

“Shut up.” I do smile at her. I only ever smile at her.

“Sarah loved the jam by the way!” Sam yelled.

“I’ll let her know!” Bucky yelled back before exhaling sadly.

Sam would never understand. Her taking pity on him those past couple of hours was nothing more than sympathy and likely even guilt.

Sam would never understand that of all the eyes in the world, it seems like Bucky has managed to fall for the only ones that knew how to hurt him, the eyes that would only look at him as a disgusting, frightening monster.

~

When Bucky got home, everything was creepily in place. His door was closed like he had left it and he actually had to use his key to open it for the first time in a while.

Stepping inside, the warm smell of roast chicken welcomed him back.

The house was warm because all the windows were actually shut, too. It was all so calm and homely; the orc was seriously worried.

And then he heard it: his human wife’s sweet voice, humming the melody of a song unfamiliar to him. It sounded like it was coming from the kitchen.

Bucky carefully shut the door behind him, not wanting her peaceful mood to end so soon as he tried to take lighter steps to where she was.

Much to his dismay though, she needed something from the other side of the kitchen and when she turned around she saw Bucky and gasped, jumping embarrassingly high.

“You scared me!” She whined, holding a hand to her heart.

“Sorry.” Bucky smirked, entertained by how cute she looked when startled.

“Welcome home,” she mumbled with a bit-back grin, holding onto his forearms before getting on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on Bucky’s cheek.

She never told him, but she was unbelievably thankful when he didn’t specify which type of kiss he expected weeks ago, and even more thankful when he didn’t object to her pecking his cheek before burying herself under the covers.

Life with Bucky has gotten undeniably familiar lately and leaving him was all of a sudden an idea that didn’t interest her as much as before.

Everything he was saying and doing has brought her closer to him without her even comprehending it.

As the days passed, she had realized running away was too exhausting, too risky, and for what? It wasn’t like she had a home to run to or a treasure buried somewhere or a lover worth escaping her orc for.

Her orc.

Hers.

A word she never felt the meaning of until the day Bucky made her his wife.

Bucky was the first and only one to present to her a taste of something she has never had: the feeling of exclusively owning things.

The smile that graced her face when she brushed her hair the first time with the brush Bucky got her was new and unprecedented.

Her brush, he called it.

Her shoes. Her chair. Her towel. Her clothes. Her books. Her side of the bed. Her cottage. Her kitchen.

And her husband.

Everything was brand new and completely hers.

Nothing was handed down to her, nothing was used before the minute her fingers had touched it. None of the things Bucky gifted her had previous owners, including him and his heart.

Most importantly, she didn’t have to share any of it with anybody.

“You’re home,” Bucky said, a surprised yet very happy smile lighting up his handsome features.

“I thought the wife was supposed to say that,” she replied playfully, going back to the bubbling pot.

Bucky raised his eyebrows at the good mood she seemed to be in. He was liking this.

He watched her sprinkle some black pepper into the soup as he came behind her.

She could feel the heat of his body surrounding her even when they weren’t touching and it had her heartbeat going crazy.

“Thank you, little human,” Bucky whispered, before he leaned down and pecked her cheek as well, his stubble and blunt tusks tickling her jaw.

She felt her whole body jolt with electricity at the simple graze of his lips and tusks on her skin as she closed her eyes.

Bucky left the kitchen and went to the bathroom but she was still hot as if his warmth never left her.

And when she opened her eyes and absentmindedly reached her fingertips to touch her cheek, she found herself smiling too.

What was happening to her? What was this foreign feeling lifting her off of her feet in the middle of the kitchen?

“Sam’s sister loved your strawberry jam by the way!” Bucky shouted to her from the bathroom, making her jump again before smiling to herself.

He didn’t use Sarah’s name on purpose, not wanting to ruin her happy mood as he had noticed how angry she got every time he would say it.

“I’ll make her more tomorrow!” She replied with a grin, proud of her hand’s work, her jealousy long forgotten after Bucky’s words of the night before.

After all, how could she be jealous when she was the one that Bucky was looking at like that?

~

When she finished setting up the table and Bucky didn’t come out of the bathroom, she got a little worried.

He never took too long during his showers, and now that he only had one arm to use, she thought he would cut his showers even shorter.

What if his wound was bleeding again and he didn’t want to tell her and was trying to fix it by himself inside the bathroom? She knew she should have stopped him from going to the yard!

“Bucky.” She knocked on the door softly, wanting to make sure he was okay.

“Yes, little human?” Bucky instantly opened the door for her.

And he looked like a dream.

Steam has surrounded him inside the bathroom, water drops from his still-wet hair dripping down his muscular, bare chest and for the first time since Bucky has been naked around her, she found herself looking at him. Actually looking.

Bucky’s chest was so broad, beefy and ribbed down to his abdomen. Scars of all sizes and shapes littered the beautiful, icy greyish skin, a reminder of the battles he had fought and all the sacrifices he had made.

Her heart clenched at the sight, a pang of sympathy coursing through her as she could only imagine the pain he must have had to endure.

Still, she found her hands tingling in curiosity, desperate to know what tracing the healed skin would feel like under her fingertips.

Bucky was a sight for sore eyes, a sight that both captivated and unnerved her, stirring a flurry of unfamiliar emotions in her chest that she struggled to contain.

She averted her gaze, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over her at the unexpected intimacy of the moment.

“Are—” she chocked, her voice barely above a whisper as she coughed it out, “are you okay? You took a while.”

“Yeah, I’m just having a hard time drying up my hair with one arm,” Bucky reassured her, chuckling lightly at his dilemma as he let the towel around his neck drop.

He was completely oblivious to the way he just made her face burn up as her thoughts spiraled out of control.

“Come.” She took Bucky’s hand in hers, careful not to squeeze his palm, and led him outside to their bed.

It took Bucky a second to move his feet, but when he did, he felt like he was being carried on top of a cloud.

She felt herself drawn to him in a way she couldn’t quite explain, her heart pounding with a mixture of nervousness, curiosity and… desire. A new sensation was tingling all over her body, specifically in places she didn’t need to be tingling right now.

Positioning herself between his parted legs, she reached to take the towel from around Bucky’s neck.

His eyes watched her, surprise flickering in them as he realized what she was going to do, unable to believe what was happening.

Sensing her nervousness, Bucky offered her a reassuring, grateful smile, silently encouraging her to continue.

And as she began to carefully pat his damp hair dry, her touch tentative and her eyes focused, he felt warmth welling up inside him.

She couldn’t help but steal glances at his bare shoulder and chest, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at the engrossing sight. It was a feeling unlike anything she has ever experienced before, her heart racing with unparalleled excitement.

The awkwardness of the situation began to fade bit by bit as she focused more on the task at hand, in its place growing an overwhelming sense of closeness and familiarity.

Bucky’s hair was so soft under her fingertips as she took the towel up and down the brown locks. She wished she had given herself a chance to touch it more before.

As she finished drying her orc’s hair, she met his gaze with a shy bite of her lip, her eyes sparkling with newfound confidence.

Bucky reached out to take her hands, his smile appreciative as his lips pressed a deep kiss on each palm, silently thanking her for her kindness and care.

~

“I didn’t know your cooking was so good. You surprise me every day,” Bucky praised, as she filled his mouth with more lentil soup, trying not to think of his conversation with Sam or the way his body was still on fire from the mere act of her drying his hair for him.

He couldn’t even believe she was feeding him after seeing him struggle to keep the food on his spoon using his left hand.

“All the girls at the orphanage know how to cook. They teach us all sorts of things and make us to be good housewives,” she replied, suddenly nostalgic of her days at the orphanage, curious to know how, where and when Bucky got the chance to see her back then.

Bucky didn’t say anything, busying his mouth with chewing some bread as his smile shrank.

She didn’t look happy. Why did she stay then? Was she planning on running away at night that day? Maybe she put something in the food?

“I’m glad you like your dinner though,” she said, breaking the thick silence with a soft smile as she fed the orc a piece of chicken.

“Why didn’t you try to leave today?” Bucky couldn’t hold back.

She was taken aback by his question. She thought he wanted her here.

Was he finally done? Did he want her out? Was he not going to look for her this time? Has Bucky given up on her? Was he going to leave her be had she gotten out today?

Most importantly, she didn’t know how to answer because it seemed like she was done running away from her new life with him, and she didn’t know if she could admit that.

“I– did you want me to?” She asked, her voice strained as she tried to hold in the tears.

“No! No, of course not!” He assured her quickly.

“Then?” She chewed on her lip.

“I don’t want you to stop running if it makes you feel alive,” Bucky told her, his blue eyes gushing with love he didn’t intend to show, “I’m willing to go to the ends of the earth to find you.”

“What?” She wasn’t expecting this at all, all the tingles she had hardly managed to shake off after drying Bucky’s wet hair coming back to attack her.

How were these words coming out of an orc! And why did they make her heart stutter in its beats?

“I love your fiery spirit and I’m afraid I’m killing it by keeping you here against your wishes. I never want to be the one to snuff your fire out.” Bucky admitted, eyes sincere as he watched her.

She just stared at him for a moment, stunned as her heart skipped yet another beat.

If he only knew that he was the one who had managed to bring this fiery personality to life.

Bucky respected her silence and went back to enjoying his dinner, not wanting to push her for a reply. She could take her time.

She kept staring at him in confusion for another minute before taking her almost untouched plate and getting up.

She almost ran to the kitchen with her hand on her heart.

What was going on with her? Her heart wasn’t seriously beating this loud for the orc. Could it be?

He sounded so selfless and spoke so gently like he has never before and she was overwhelmed.

His words were doing things to her that she has never felt before. What was wrong with her?

She knew she had caught herself staring at him without a shirt just minutes ago, maybe admiring his eyelashes as he slept in some early mornings, but she rendered it curiosity and nothing more.

She shook her head, her thoughts startling to her as she emptied her plate in the garbage and started washing it vigorously.

Bucky no longer had an appetite, sighing at her reaction.

He told himself he could understand, but it was still hurtful the way she jumped out of her chair.

He left his plate on the table, not wanting to invade her privacy by going to the kitchen before leaving the cottage altogether.

He probably shouldn’t have said anything.

~

She revisited the subject the same afternoon though, not wanting there to be any misunderstandings between her and Bucky. Not any longer.

“I don’t wanna leave anymore,” she admitted timidly, making Bucky’s smile betray him and his usual frowning.

“But I don’t like being locked away in here all day either,” she said carefully, scared to upset him.

“Where do you wanna go? The forest is dangerous, little human.” Bucky was back to frowning at the thought of anything bad happening to her again.

It was torture for him when her foot was still healing and he was the most relieved when it finally did. He couldn’t just let her roam around when she didn’t know the area.

“Take me out when you come back from work maybe? Or even on your day off,” she suggested, desperate to see the world.

“And go where?”

“Anywhere. We can walk around the woods before it gets dark, you could show me your shop, I could meet Sam? Or we could even go to the market!” She suggested eagerly.

She has been locked up for so long and she didn’t want to continue her life like this.

Bucky actually thought about it and he didn’t hate the idea. Taking her out with him would ensure her safety. He would be by her side and he would protect her. He also liked the thought of taking her out and properly courting her even if she didn’t know that that was what he was doing.

He said he didn’t want to kill her spirit by keeping her in here and she gave him the solution.

“Okay.” Bucky nodded at her with a smile.

“Okay?” She exclaimed happily, not believing Bucky would actually take her out to see around.

“Okay.” He nodded again reassuringly, her happiness making him laugh.

“Well, don’t you have tomorrow off?” She asked suggestively, gesturing to his hand.

Bucky laughed, nodding, “put your shoes on.”

“Thank you, Bucky.” She involuntarily gave his healing hand a squeeze, kissing his cheek before running to get her shoes.

Bucky swallowed hard, hoping he would be able to hold himself together and not completely melt under her sweet company.

“You’ve got to promise me though,” he said.

She looked at him questioningly as she slipped one foot into a shoe.

“No running away, little human.”

“No running away. Promise.” She promised, shaking her head with a shy smile.

Bucky smiled big, taking her smaller hand in his as she grabbed her basket in the other, ready to browse the market with her husband.

Her husband. That was starting to sound unquestionably comforting.

“Oh, and one more thing.”

“What?” She tilted her head with a grin.

“You owe me a kiss,” Bucky said, his tone serious.

“No, I don’t! If anything, I just gave you an extra kiss!”

“Yes, you do. From that morning. You’re still one kiss behind!”

“I just made up for it!”

“Doesn’t count. That one covers the night before.” Bucky shrugged, a smile etched on his lips.

“Okay, fine.” She kissed Bucky’s cheek, “stop going around saying other girls’ names though.”

Bucky laughed, “I only know one!”

“Still too many,” she whispered under her breath, but Bucky heard it, smiling from ear to ear as he took his hand in hers, taking the right path out of the woods. ~ It was a beautiful afternoon, full of warm sunshine and fruitful deals. She has got some pretty good stuff for really good prices.

She couldn’t believe Bucky actually gave her pocket money.

He didn’t want her to have to ask him for money every time something caught her eye. He wanted her independent, fulfilled and brave as she bought herself whatever her heart desired.

Her heart was so full and her smile was inerasable.

Bucky didn’t let go of her hand all day and she actually liked it so much that she never complained. The feel of his calloused skin against her soft palm wasn’t like anything she has felt before.

She didn’t want to let go of his hand even while looking at the different stands and booths at the market.

But she eventually liked the flower stand too much and told Bucky she would take a look at them while he continued buying them the fruits he was picking.

“Good afteroon,” a smooth voice interrupted her admiration of the potted plants before her, making her look up for a second.

“Good afternoon.” She smiled coyly.

“Any favorites?” The handsome man inside the booth asked her.

“All of them,” she giggled softly, the sound catching Bucky’s ears at once.

The man laughed back, “okay, I think I have something special for you. How about this one?” He brought her a purple flower from the batch hidden behind him inside the booth.

“Oh, how beautiful! What is this one?” She wondered, amazement sparkling in her eyes at the sight of the pretty petals.

“That is a Globemaster Allium. Pretty, isn’t she?” He asked, staring at her desirously as she looked at the flower.

“Yes, she’s stunning!”

“I’m Cole by the way—”

She heard Bucky clear his throat next to her and looked up at once, the innocent awe in her eyes softening the orc a little.

“Look, Bucky! Isn’t this the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” She pointed to the flower pot excitedly.

Bucky leaned in, his frown scaring her a little, her breath hitching when his lips tickled the shell of her ear, “no, little human, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

She chocked on her own saliva, hiding her hot face with her hand as she coughed, “Bucky!” She whined with a shy smile.

Where did that come from!

“Let’s go,” Bucky said with a nod of his head, eyes stern as he glared at Cole.

“Can—” She held his wrist, “can I have it?” She asked softly, gesturing to the flower pot.

Bucky wanted to say no. He didn’t want her to have this farmer’s flower. But he couldn’t say no to those hopeful, beautiful eyes of hers.

“Fine.” He watched her get the money out of her pocket and she smiled gratefully as she almost set them down on Cole’s counter.

“It’s on the house,” Cole said, still smiling dreamily at her.

She could all but swallow as she gave a polite smile back before looking up at Bucky for help.

“Take your goddamn money.” Bucky made a quick job of paying for the flower, taking the money from her and slamming it on the counter, making the whole booth shake.

He quickly took his wife home, deciding that was enough socialization for the both of them for the day.

She wasn’t going to lie, she was loving jealousy on her orc. It felt so intoxicating to have someone love her so much that he was jealous of other men talking to her.

She wouldn’t tell Bucky, but she would probably spend the nights of the next week smiling at the wall every time she remembered how he held her hand back home just a little bit tighter that day.

Her own heart was running wild at the sight of the orc now and she didn’t want it any other way.

~

“Now you know how it feels,” she teased with a smile as they were getting ready for bed.

Bucky couldn’t let it go, talking about how they were never going to stop by that farmer’s flower booth ever again.

“That’s not the same! I was never into Sarah! But that man was openly ogling you!” Bucky grumbled, his frown digging deep into the skin of his forehead.

“He was just being nice, trying to sell his flowers,” she laughed, upsetting Bucky even more.

How couldn’t she see it? The guy was all over her!

“He was flirting and you were all giggles and blushes.” Bucky copied her, going to the bed and burying himself under the covers, facing the wall.

He understood now why she had done that.

“Hey, that’s my spot!” She joked, not knowing if Bucky was being serious.

“Not tonight,” he murmured from underneath the covers.

“Bucky,” she whined, uncovering her orc’s face.

Bucky didn’t reply, pushing himself closer to the wall.

She tried to bring him on his back by the shoulder like he so easily did her a couple of night ago, but he was too strong for her and his body wouldn’t budge.

She huffed, “okay, you left me no choice.”

Bucky remained still, wanting to see what she meant by that as he felt her shift behind him.

Before he knew it, she was on top of his bicep, trying to slot herself between his body and the wall.

“What on earth—”

“You started it, Bucky!” She said, voice determined as she kept pushing, trying to squeeze herself in the small space accessible.

Bucky looked at her in amusement for a second before moving back, making her body drop as larger space became available.

She landed with the tiniest “ouff” on the mattress, facing Bucky on her side with her back to the wall, its coolness helping soothe the heat rising to the surface of her skin.

That was the closest she had been to Bucky since their hug the night of his injury, face to face as his passionate sapphire eyes watched hers.

“Hi,” she whispered, heart in her throat.

“Hi,” Bucky replied with a charming smile, smoothing some of her ruffled strands back in place.

She stared at the orc’s eyes, not the slightest bit scared of the fact that she was trapped against the wall by his huge body.

“You’re not the only one who wants to be loyal to this marriage, Bucky,” she said, surprising Bucky and herself, “I don’t want the farmer. I don’t want anyone else.” but you.

Bucky smiled in disbelief, taken aback by her words, and she took it as permission to move closer to his chest. He instinctively wrapped her up in a protective hug, wondering how he was able to hold himself back from kissing her.

She pushed her face into her orc’s chest, his scent and warmth engulfing her into a protective bubble.

She couldn’t believe she said the words she has just said and it made her bury her burning face deeper in Bucky’s arms.

He could only hug her tighter, his nose in her sweet-smelling hair as his smile grew bigger.

This moment right there was everything Bucky has ever wished for. He could die a happy orc right then and there.

~

It became a habit for them to go out to the village on Bucky’s day off. They were both having a great time, getting closer and falling harder.

Cole hasn’t spoken to her again after learning that the snow orc was actually her husband, and she respected Bucky’s feelings and never approached Cole’s booth no matter how pretty the plants on his stand were.

Market outings were their thing now and she wasn’t going to let anything ruin that.

She didn’t want anyone else’s attention but Bucky’s anyway. His hand has almost fully healed and she could now squeeze it all she wanted whenever she got excited about anything they encountered.

One thing did occur that annoyed her though and that was the way the jewelry lady would look at her every time she and Bucky would pass by. The woman had so much pity in her eyes when she saw her hand in an orc’s and she hated it.

She despised the way people misjudged her orc when he was far better than any human man she could’ve ever ended up with.

Yet, the lady kept giving her those pitiful looks, probably thinking Bucky had enslaved her or something.

But enough was enough.

When Bucky was busy looking at the knives, she made her way to the jewelry lady, determined to put an end to the ridiculousness.

“He is my husband,” she sternly told the lady in the jewelry stand, taking the chance that Bucky wasn’t listening.

“Oh.” The lady quickly gave a kind smile, turning from concerned about her to happy for her, “I apologize for misjudging you, dear. I was only worried about you. We’ve all heard stories about him.”

“Well, that’s all they are. Stories.” She ferociously defended, her eyes still stern.

“I’m sorry,” the woman sincerely expressed her regret, squeezing her hand.

She nodded with a small smile, accepting the older woman’s apology.

“I don’t see a ring on your hand.” The jewelry lady gestured to the collection of rings in her glass box with a wink.

“Oh.”

The sentence caught Bucky’s ears as he turned away to look at her embarrassed face.

“We didn’t get time to buy one. It all happened so quickly,” she explained awkwardly and Bucky’s expression fell.

“I have a pretty collection if you wanna take a look, and don’t worry about the price,” the older lady suggested kindly.

“No, it’s okay—”

“Choose what you like, sweet thing,” Bucky whispered to her, immediately by her side when he saw her eyes skimming over the jewelry, “I’m sorry I’m not familiar with the human marriage traditions. I should’ve gotten you one sooner.”

“It’s okay, Bucky. You don’t have to,” she reassured with a tender smile.

She didn’t need a ring to know that she was Bucky’s.

“I want to. I want you to wear my ring, little human.” Bucky raised her hands to his lips, placing the softest kisses on her each finger.

Her heart surged as a shy smile spread on her lips, heat rising to her cheeks.

“Okay.” She nodded happily, feeling like she was in a dream and she never wanted to wake up.

Though very expensive, Bucky ended up buying her the ring she chose. It was the prettiest gold ring with a moss agate blue diamond.

She tried to talk him out of it, wanting to pick something cheaper, but Bucky wouldn’t have it.

She has never felt as special as she felt with Bucky’s ring on her finger. It was the prettiest thing from the most handsome orc.

And in that very moment, she was the happiest that she trusted her gut; that she gave Bucky, and herself a chance for this marriage to be something more than a contractual deal.

Bucky couldn’t believe she has finally let him make her his. When he slipped that ring on her tiny finger, he felt like he was king of the world.

While walking back to their cottage, a new dream got unlocked inside of her, one that included her and Bucky and their very own little stand in the market.

“Can we stop by the shop before we go home?” She asked tentatively.

“Sure, why? Did you forget something there yesterday?”

She has been to the shop a couple of times, curious to meet the important people in Bucky’s life and possibly have friends of her own, too.

“No, just wanna show Sarah the ring,” she said, a shy smile lighting up her happy face.

Bucky brought her hand to his lips, kissing her ring finger this time, “to the shop it is.”

~

Everything was going amazingly and she wished with all her heart that it would stay that way, but unfortunately, the very next day was a day for another fight that none of them saw coming.

Bucky still hasn’t recovered from her little stunt a few weeks ago and today he came back to find the cottage empty again.

He should have locked the door. He shouldn’t have trusted that a ring on her finger might stop her old habits or give her a magical change of heart.

What about all the small moments she had shared? Did those mean nothing to her?

Bucky’s anger and feeling of betrayal wiped away everything nice that had happened between the two of them, only remembering that she never wanted to be here in the very first place.

“Why are you so adamant about making me lose my mind?” Bucky asked, pushing her inside and slamming the door behind them.

“I’m not! Would you just listen?!” She yelled back, startled by the harsh treatment.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Bucky shouted as if he didn’t hear her.

“I was just—”

“Wandering through the forest alone is dangerous, I’ve told you time and again, and yet you keep doing it!”

“Would you listen to me?!” 

“No! You acted like you would stop running, so what changed?!” Bucky threw his big arms in the air, making her take a step back.

Bucky looked bigger than he usually did when he was livid like that.

“I wasn’t running!” She repeated, her voice tinged with anger of her own at the distrust.

“Stop lying!” Bucky growled, roughly grabbing her by the arm.

“I’m not lying,” she insisted as she tried not to wince at the way Bucky held her forearm, her jaw clenched defiantly.

“Then what were you doing up the hill, huh?” Bucky unconsciously squeezed her arm harder.

“You’re hurting me.” She tried to pull away, but Bucky wouldn’t release her.

“You think you’re the only one who has fucking feelings?” Bucky shook her in his hold, unintentionally bruising her further.

She cried out but it fell on deaf ears, “Bucky, let me go!”

“Do you think what you do doesn’t affect me just because I’m not a goddamn human?!” He forced her closer, making her tears fall as he barked in her face.

His words hung heavy in the air, echoing through the spacious room.

“Bucky, please,” she tried again, not wanting to fight anymore.

Bucky finally listened, suddenly shocked at his actions as he let her arm go.

It’s been so long since he had made her cry and he just ruined everything good he had worked on building with her.

She just stood there, whimpering in pain as she held her arm to her chest.

Bucky watched her roll the sleeve of her winter dress up to look at her arm and there they were: thick fingerprints on her flesh.

“I— I’m sorry,” he whispered, trying to get closer to look at her arm, swallowing hard.

To his surprise, she let him.

“I’m sorry, little human.” Bucky wiped a few of her tears away, regret evident in his voice.

“I wasn’t running,” she repeated, pushing her hands in the pockets of her dress, “I was collecting berries to decorate the cake I made earlier.” She pulled handfuls of now ruined wild strawberries, raspberries and blackberries out of her pockets and dropped them on the wooden table for him to see.

She left Bucky alone to stare at the berries and went to the kitchen.

And boy did he stare.

He felt so stupid and ashamed at the way he had reacted. He just hurt her and she wasn’t even trying to leave. He wouldn’t let her explain either and had unjustly judged her.

She got out a cold water bottle from the fridge, pushing it to her bruised arm.

Bucky walked into the kitchen, shame branded on his face.

“Are you okay?” He asked, not knowing what to do to correct his mistake.

“What do you think?!” She irritably snapped at him, waving her bruised arm in the air.

“I just wanted to help!” Bucky barked back.

“Well, I don’t want your help!” She shouted.

“Fine! Don’t want it!” Bucky walked out, his feet stomping on the wooden floors.

He stormed out of the cottage, violently slamming the door behind him.

Bucky then realized what he has just done and how he had made the situation even worse. He kicked a rock so hard he was sure it flew to the other side of the forest as he saw birds flying disruptively.

“Damn it!” He yelled out loud, slamming his fist to the door, making her flinch inside the cottage.

The fight between the orc’s rough exterior and his rather tender feelings for her was torturing Bucky. What he meant to show was that he cared about her and was worried for her, but instead he’d done what he’d done.

She, on the other side of the wall, irately got out of the kitchen with the trash bin and swept the berries from the table, throwing them in the garbage.

When Bucky got inside again, she was cleaning the stain of the berries from the table, her features still twisted in a frown.

He opened his mouth, trying to think of anything he could say to fix this, but nothing came out. With a sigh, he left the cottage once more, leaving her all alone.

She sat down with a huff, throwing the cloth in her hand across the room.

She let her tears run in frustration.

It was supposed to be a peaceful night where they enjoyed a delightful desert that she has worked hard on making and was going to work hard on decorating.

She was trying to start a life with him. Why did he have to ruin it like that? She wasn’t running. How could she make him believe her?

She desperately wanted, needed Bucky to trust her.

She cried harder, feeling helpless in the face of her orc’s rage as her heart clenched at the thought of a happiness gone so soon.

Part V

~

Tag List:

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[fxtalitygod]

VIII. ~Survival~

Summary: You were determined to survive longer than anyone, even if you were set to marry him.

Genre: Historical AU, angst, mature, suggestive, arranged-marriage

Warnings: Dark themes, gore, graphic imagery, theme/depictions of horror, swearing/language, suggestive, pet names (Little Flower used 5-6x) implied harsh parenting {on Sukuna's end), mentions of adult murder, implications of impregnating, implied Stockholm Syndrome, images/depictions of dead bodies (both human and animal), child death/murder, character death(s), slight misogynistic themes (if you squint), NOT PROOFREAD YET (sorry ;-;)

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: For starters, I want to clarify that I am choosing to purposely not mention the names of the twins. Although this makes it difficult on my end, I wanted you, the reader, to decide on the names of your choosing while reading.

P.S. This is the longest chapter I have written. Sorry it took so long but I hope it proves well and worth the wait. (╥﹏╥)

JJK Mlist•Taglist Rules• • Pt.I • Pt. II • Pt. III • Pt. IV • Pt. V • Pt. VI • Pt.VII • Pt. VIII • Pt. IX

You could see the fire, smell the blood, and hear their screams as they begged for mercy. They cried out for their children and loved ones whose bodies were now burning in the roaring flames, reduced to cinders and ashes. Those who threatened to charge were killed before they could make contact, their body contorting in ways the human form was incapable of, causing cries of pure agony as they were left to bleed out in their mangled state– they were left to suffer in their pain as the life slowly drained out of them. If a suffering soul was fortunate, the fire would catch them aflame and kill them faster, or debris would land in a fatal spot or crush them whole to end their misery.

Viewing the demolished structures and flaming bodies, both dead and alive, was a petrifying view– yet you felt nothing. Your breath was methodical, your expression blank, your body unmoving. Pity and remorse were thrown out the window– fear and anguish had long vanished; however, anger and resentment lingered like a tiny flickering flame that continued to grow with each crumble and cry that could be heard.

Although your exterior appearance seemed calm and collected, your heartbeat said otherwise as it accelerated, pounding against your chest so hard you could eventually drown out the hollars of distress with its rapid thumping.

“Mama, look!” Two voices sounded.

Your breath hitched as the familiar calls rang through your head. The pounding in your chest quickened and strengthened when the footsteps got closer. Hearing their giggles and whispers caused your form to tense– not having the strength to say or do anything. How would you explain your current position? How would you tell them tha-

“Mama, are you alright?”

You snapped out of your daydream to see you were in front of the stream, taking care of your personal tasks, this chore being the cleansing of garments. The query of when you arrived there was unknown, but you would assume it had been for way longer than you should have resided in that area. The dreams you would endure during the solace of night, despite those nights being anything but comforting, had begun bleeding into the day and becoming more prevalent and gruesome. It was becoming quite the distraction.

"Mama?"

Before you could allow your thoughts to consume you, you focused your attention on your son and daughter, who were awaiting your reply with innocent eyes. Yeah, their virtue never ceased to amaze you. They were too good for this world– their empathy brought light to your soul that you believed had burnt out long ago– pride and joy.

You looked at your twins with an awaiting gaze as you watched their expressions turn into excitement at the realization they had caught your attention. You blinked once before being met with a piece of parchment littered with ink. It did not take long to realize that the twins had made you something in their short time away. Blinking up at the two, you gave them a fond grin before looking back down at the material. Upon viewing the parchment, you saw an image of what you assumed to be an image of a bird, and next to the picture was a small note.

" To show gratitude to our dearest mother," you read aloud before holding the small gift to your chest, "Thank you, my loves, it is lovely."

The joy on their faces from the small compliment warmed your heart, referring to your previous statement of them being too good for this world. There were moments when you could not believe that the twins were a product of you and Sukuna– that was a reoccurring thought you had often. They were, without doubt, your most significant and last blessing as things around the temple had not been going as smoothly as they once had been the first few years you resided in it, and it was clearly starting to take a toll on everybody, including you.

"Mama, guess what we learned today?" Your son exclaimed excitedly, causing you to jump a little, not expecting the sudden outburst of enthusiasm.

"Was it penmanship because the both of you are getting better. Have you been practicing like I have told you to?" You joked, poking at their bellies, causing them to giggle.

"No, Mama, Father taught us about Jujutsu!" your daughter shouted enthusiastically.

"Hey, I wanted to tell her," the boy pouted.

"Sorry," your little girl apologized as she turned to look at her brother with an apologetic look.

The sibling tried to look upset, not wanting to give in quite yet, but when he turned around to look at his sister's guilty expression, he launched to hug her. If you had said it twice, you were to state it a third time– the world did not deserve this pair– you could not stress that enough.

"Did he now?" you breathed, your anxiety slowly creeping to the back of your neck like it did so often.

You were aware of the agreement you made with Sukuna all those years ago, and as of things so far, you both were holding up to your ends of the deal. The twins continued to be educated under your supervision and occasionally your attendant. Your little girl and boy were now at the ripe age of six, at which they would begin manifesting their cursed energy, so they were now taking lessons under their father's supervision– that notion made you apprehensive of your deal.

As you previously mentioned, things were not going as smoothly as they once were. Your village has become slightly non-compliant recently. The traditional wedding ceremonies had stopped a little over a year ago as families started refusing to hand over their kin to Sukuna. Despite the disrespect, Sukuna had no care as he had plenty of women to satisfy him; however, to say that he was taking the rebellion lightly would be a complete lie. Over the last few years, more guards were posted for precautionary reasons. Nothing major had happened yet, only the occasional distant and muffled voices chanting in protest.

With such circumstances, emotions were running high, and the crowd only seemed to get bigger as the days passed. You could admit that some days were worse than others, but it did not change the fact that these events could cause a catastrophic resolution at the hands of your husband. Viewing the situation, there was no question that Sukuna would be more occupied than usual; however, it was not amid meetings or trivial tasks but with his children instead.

Sukuna could hardly be viewed as a legitimate father but rather a mentor– a cruel one based on the round, tear-stained cheeks that would walk into the garden after they had spent their designated time with their dad. The only children who seemed the slightest bit content with their learnings were your son and daughter. Your twins have not been training for long, but they had outlasted most other kids regarding their spirits breaking. The first day your little boy and girl had left to meet with Sukuna, you could not help but feel nervous; however, when they came back, they were all giggles and smiles as they told you of their time with the man they call father. To say you were shocked was an understatement, but despite that astonishment, you were simply glad they left a good impression and walked out unscathed, their spirits still intact.

"So, have your studies with your father come to fruition yet?" You asked, not thinking of your wording as the question effortlessly slipped from your tongue.

"Come to fruition?" your son repeated, looking at his sister to see if she understood the meaning of your words.

Despite your children being clever, they were still young and naive, and that naivety could not help but make you laugh gently as you watched them whisper to each other as they tried to decipher the saying. They paused in their little hushed conversation at your breathy giggle, flustered as they looked at you, hoping you would grant them the knowledge they wanted.

"Mama, stop laughing. What does it mean?" the two whined in sync as they looked at you with awaiting eyes.

"Alright," you managed to say between your little fits of giggles, "It means to succeed in the progression of a goal. In this case, did you reach the intended goal of your lessons today?"

Your twins thought over your words for a minute before a look of realization washed over their faces. The two looked at one another to make sure the other understood, finding they were both on the same page before turning to your now-awaiting gaze. Smiles were once again plastered to their expressions of proudness.

"Not exactly," your daughter stated.

"What do you mean, 'not exactly'?" you questioned with a raised brow as you looked for an answer.

"Well...we do not have cursed energy yet, but Father said it was okay because we will..." Your son trailed off before looking at his sister for assistance, trying to remember the exact words Sukuna had used.

"Manifest!" your daughter shouted in revelation after a moment of thought.

"Oh yes, manifest! He said it was okay because 'we will manifest our cursed energy soon enough,'" your son finished, ignoring the distant whispers and tiny gasps that had suddenly emerged from the surrounding women and children.

"And you both will, I am sure of that– my intuition is never wrong," a deep voice resonated behind the twins.

You froze as you looked up to see Sukuna looking down at you, a proud grin on his face as he let the words settle. Your smile had long disappeared, your lips forming into a tight line as you met his gaze. His presence was not what had upset you as you had grown familiar with his company and unexpected visits, but rather the fact that you knew he was right.

"Father!" the twins shouted, bowing before going in to hug his legs, looking up at him with their innocent doe-like eyes that shone the color of your own hues, little flecks of what seemed to be crimson could also be seen if the light hit them just right.

Your heart stopped for a second as you watched your four-armed companion freeze on the spot at the sudden attention. Although you knew Sukuna could not lay a hand upon his children due to the contents of the pact you had made with him, it did not eliminate the uneasiness you had, worried of the thought he would grow to distaste them. The curse-user was not a man of tenderness nor liked to be presented with such fondness, especially from his offspring. There was no room for weaklings in his realm, in hid brigade of suitable heirs.

You sit there, waiting for his reaction, chewing on your lip to the point it draws a small amount of blood. The man stood stiff, looking down at the two smaller beings that clung to his legs in a warm greeting before moving to bend down, causing your heart to spike in rhythm. The questions flooded your brain once more like they often did when it involved your significant other's actions. Sukuna took a set of his arms, placing one on each twin's back before meeting their eye level.

"Did I ever indulge either of you with the story of how I found out about your mother's conceiving of the both of you?" Sukuna asked, an arched brow with a devious smile as he switched eye contact from one twin to the other.

"No," your son replied honestly, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

With that short answer, Sukuna looked at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes before redirecting his focus on his kids once more.

"I knew that your mother would one day bear the fruit of her fertility, but there was one particular evening where I could sense an odd presence. I immediately called upon your mother, and when I was met with her physique, I could tell she was with child. It would have been unnoticeable, but my perception is unlike the average man. Looking at your mother, I could see her stomach was softer and slightly rounder, her ankles somewhat swollen, and her breasts enlarged."

You held back the bile rising in your throat as your husband explained his side of the story you knew all too well, remembering the exact events that led up to that day. His vulgar description of the event sickened you to the core.

"Your mother was unaware of her condition, but I was. The moment I felt her stomach, I could feel the presence of not one but two essences in her womb. I remember the look on her face when I told her– pure shock."

Sukuna's words offended you because pure shock was an understatement. You were undeniably mortified that day, but you would never admit that to your children. For their happiness's sake, you were willing to push the bitter memories of your pregnancy aside. They did not need to know your previous disdain for them– you had not even met them yet. What they did not know could not hurt them.

"How could you sense both of our essences?" Your daughter questioned, tilting her head as Sukuna focused his attention on her.

"Always the curious one, aren't you?" Sukuna noted, a teasing grin forming on his face.

"Mama says it is always best to stay curious because you will never learn anything new if you are too stubborn or scared to keep asking questions."

"Did she now?" Sukuna's grin grew wider as he drew his attention back to you, "And what do you believe that is a lesson of?"

"Fearlessness?" your daughter answered hesitantly.

"Close, but not quite," Sukuna started, "She is teaching you confidence."

"Is that not the same thing, Father?" your daughter questioned again.

"Not exactly, my child," The curse-user paused, looking at you for a fleeting moment before continuing, "being fearless is alright in certain circumstances– something as frivolous as a mouse is something to lack fear of, but there are certain things you should fear. Fear, my child, is what keeps you alive; however, it can be crippling at times. It is the confidence to overcome those fears that lets you survive."

"Why have you come here, Sukuna?" you suddenly asked, becoming tired and uncomfortable with his lingering presence. You knew that the man had not come for idle conversation and to share invasive stories nor explain your teachings.

Had your twins been any older, they would have caught onto your passive aggression as you addressed their father, staring at him blankly as he drew his attention to you. You were aware of the line you were crossing, aware of the hostility you were presenting in the presence of your children, despite the obliviousness of it, but with high tension in the temple and his sudden visit, you felt you had every right to feel uneased. Sukuna's gaze turned from teasing mischief into a grave look.

"Well, Y/n, I wish not to sully our bonding with grave matters," the man spoke, returning your passive-aggressive tone, "we'll speak of it later."

"So why did you come, father?" Your boy asked, looking up at the tall man.

"Must I have a reason to visit my kin?" Sukuna teased.

"Well, we do not see you much outside of lessons," your daughter jumped in with her own comment.

"Observant as well, huh?" Sukuna huffed, pausing for a moment before speaking up once more, "I was wondering if you both would accompany me on a hunt?"

That question caused their little orbs to light up, their little heads turning to you, silently begging for your approval. Looking at their pleading eyes, you could not say no, giving a nod of approval. If they were cheerful before, they were exhilarated now. These kids were to be the death of you if a simple pair of puppy dog eyes could make you cave like this, and you were okay with that.

"Can Mama come too?

Your blood ran cold at the mention of your name. There was no particular reason to be troubled, but at this point, it was a habit for these tense feelings to rise whenever your name was mentioned. So, as you look at your supposed significant other, you could feel yourself about to explain how you had other activities to attend to.

"I do not see why not."

Now, that was unexpected.

The words you were going to speak paused in your throat, swallowing them down when your little boy and girl rushed up to you after hearing Sukuna's approval, hugging you as they tugged on your hands to stand. What was he playing at? Despite the inquiry of his intentions, you had to push it aside as you saw the thrilled look on your children's faces–they most likely wanted to show off what they had learned while spending time with their father. They always returned with smiles of pride after spending time with their dad. You would give up your life to see them smile at you like that for as long as you lived, so you followed them as they walked beside Sukuna despite your own apprehension.

Time slowly passed as you trekked quietly through the nearby woods, watching Sukuna's movement as he led the three of you through the brush, pausing when something caught his eye. It took only a moment for a bow to appear in his hand, but when you had expected him to use it, he motioned over to your son, giving the child the weapon. Every motherly instinct told you to confiscate the bow, but quickly reminded yourself of your pact both in regards that Sukuna was bound to protect your children from harm and that you had accepted he could use any training methods he deemed necessary– this being one of them.

Sukuna was crouched the lowest he could get, arms hovering over your boy's form, guiding his son while speaking in a low voice as the two focused on the prey ahead. Looking into the small clearing, you could see a few grazing rabbits, clueless and defenseless to the threat before them, nibbling on the dewy grass. The bow's snap and the sight of an impaled rabbit caused you to return from your light daze, turning over to see your son smiling in excitement.

"Did you see that, Mama? I did it!" the boy beamed, maintaining a hushed voice.

You gave your son a warm smile, nodding in reassurance before watching your son switch places with your daughter. The rabbits that previously remained in the clearing had run off, but one straggler emerged from bushes, unaware of what had occurred, clueless about its impaled companion. In a mere few moments, the creature suffered the same fate as the previous one, bringing joy to your little girl. She turned to you with the same smile as her brother's– it frightened you.

You had no doubt that you loved your children for who they were. You loved their innocence, passion, and joyful nature, but a realization had dawned upon you in these moments– one that made your heart drop to your stomach.

"Mama, you try!" your daughter called out, grabbing your hand as she led you toward a better spot to shoot from, that spot closer to Sukuna.

Their reason for upbringing would be to take their father's place, to be his heir, and Sukuna was not giving that role to a charitable and naive son or daughter. Things seemed pleasant for now, and your children might keep their nature through adulthood, but one thing was for sure. Whether they stayed that way or not, they would feel justified in their actions– believe what they were doing was good because that is what their father was teaching them, and you were enabling it.

"Darling, I'm not sure that it would be wise for me-"

"I think it is a marvelous idea," Sukuna interrupted, standing from his crouched position and grabbing your waist.

You felt the man's hands slither up your body, messing with the material of your clothing before touching your flesh. Your skin burned unpleasantly as his hands settled, a faux attempt to adjust your form when you were capable; however, with your twins present, you would not dare cause a stir. Looking at the clearing, there was nothing seemingly there as all the critters that previously inhabited it ran off.

"There's nothing for me to target, so maybe we should end this," you suggested, trying to excuse yourself from this activity, keeping a low tone.

"If nothing is there, why do you whisper, Little Flower?" Sukuna responded in a hushed voice, feeling his smirk form as his face rested against your cheek.

Before you could respond, the sound of fluttering was heard. Without thought, you lifted the bow's angle, shooting the arrow into the air– a thud sounded shortly after as whatever you had shot hit the ground. Looking down, you could see a bird skewered with an arrow, blood pooling from its limp body and staining the grass surrounding it.

"Mama, you did it!" the twins exclaimed, thrilled you had participated.

Their sounds of excitement were drowned out by the ringing of your ears as your gaze lingered on the deceased animal. What had you done? Yes, you had viewed death without so much as a flinch, but you were not the one with blood on your hands. You were unaware you could perform such an action– you had never held a weapon before, only a mere kitchen knife.

It disturbed you.

How did you kill the helpless creature so instinctively? So effortlessly? The worst part is...

It felt good.

The ringing eventually subsided as the bow settled to your side, turning your head toward the two-faced man you called 'husband' and handed it to him. Thankfully, Sukuna took the item with no smug remark or wicked grin, giving you one of his infamous blank looks before moving his gaze toward the kids, motioning for them in the direction of the temple, settling one of his hands at the small of your back as you all started the walk back.

Making the hike back, you settled on your earlier realization regarding your children. You would love them until the end of time, and you had no doubt about that; whether they were inherently good or bad– you would love them. But now, as you continue to think, all you can think about is the future. Where would you and your twins be standing in the years to come? What kind of life would you three indulge in if you were all to live? How many bodies would have to pile under your feet before you were guaranteed genuine safety for you and them?

For the years under the same roof as Sukuna, you had been focusing on your mother's words, the promise you had made to her.

"I promise I will survive– longer than anyone."

Your life had been summed up by that promise. So far, you have kept faithful to it because you have been surviving. From your wedding day to your pregnancy, to the many inspections you attended, all up until now, as you approached the temple, you have been surviving. You played all the right cards to get you here and made all the right sacrifices to keep your children alive– what more could you ask for? You were alive and breathing along with your children, and that is all that truly mattered, right?

No.

You may have been playing this game of survival and have been successful thus far, but there was one thing you had failed to do...

Live, you had failed to truly live.

You have played your part in your husband's sick game. You married him, gave him your purity, gave him children, and now you were done. You were more than aware of the pact you had made with your husband, but almost every contract had a loophole whether it could be seen or not.

"We are relocating."

Your heart rate accelerated as Sukuna bent down to whisper those words into your ear, the words taking a moment to register. Was it out of fear? Anger? Possibly both? No. It was excitement. You had given your word that you would never leave the temple unless it was under Sukuna's supervision and say so. Unless he accompanied you outside those gates, you would remain here; however, you had never given your word to stay by his side.

You had given your word to stay at the temple.

The curse-user had just given your confirmation of freedom without being aware he was doing so.

"May I ask why?" you dug, trying to keep your composure to not seem suspicious, as if he could tell what you were thinking if you had shown the slightest emotion.

"I have simply grown bored of this place, plus I have got what I needed from these people, and they all stand right here before me," Sukuna explained, the last part of his statement being clear that he was referring to you and the twins.

"Where would that leave my village?"

Now, that was a genuine question. You were not as concerned for your village but rather your family instead. The four-armed beast of a man was not known for leaving a town so quietly– you had heard plenty of notorious stories from survivors to prove that.

"What of it?"

"Will it remain in one piece, or will it be returned to the dirt?"

"That entirely depends on them, Little Flower."

The answer was vague– it was neither a confirmation nor a denial, but you could understand the meaning behind his words. For the sake of your family, you hoped that the village elders would not perform anything stupid. You hoped they could shove their egos aside and let Sukuna leave the town with what minimal disturbance he was willing to make. Everything you have worked so hard to achieve would be ruined without their cooperation.

Approaching the temple, you could not help but feel the delight swell in your chest. After years of this torment, this unjustified punishment, you are finally going to be free. You have survived, and now you will live. The journey has been difficult, but now you will achieve the tranquility and normalcy you deserve. Your children will have the chance to live a standard and carefree life, unlike the competitive and tiring one they would achieve with their father.

It was finally over.

Arriving at the temple did not feel as bitter this time, watching your children running to your attendant as she greeted you all, giving a respectful bow before taking off with the children, most likely heading off to eat. It was quiet as you stood in the garden; everyone else had gone to fill their appetite– it was just you and Sukuna.

"What has you smiling so brightly, Little Flower."

You had not noticed it, but you had plastered a broad, foolish grin onto your face. Usually, your partner catching this would have brought you anxiety as you thought of the right words, but you did not feel that way– quite the opposite. You were proud that he had noticed, allowing your smile to grow wider.

"I feel like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, and I cannot wait to leave this place."

"I am glad I could bring such relieving news and bring a smile to your face," Sukuna responded, smiling down at you before taking your chin between his fingers and bending down, "Once you put the children to sleep, come seek me out as we have much more to discuss."

You could only smile stupidly, nodding and allowing Sukuna to kiss you before heading to your children. You did not care what the two-faced monster had to share with you, but you would indulge him because this would be the last time you would ever have to.

You were free.

"Oh, hello, Y/n-sama! We were just finishing our meals. Should I fix you something as well?" your attendant offered, keeping a light-hearted tone.

The young woman had grown more confident with you over the years. The two of you had grown quite close after the birth of your children– she was the only person you full-heartedly trusted with your kids. Maybe you would take her with you in your escape; she was far too good to serve ungrateful and bitter women.

"No, thank you, I am not that hungry; however, I have grown rather tired, meaning it is time for bed."

"Awwwwww," you twins whined in unison, looking at your attendant with puppy dog eyes, hoping she could convince you, only to receive a shake of her head.

The twins stood begrudgingly, approaching your awaiting stance, giving you the same desperate eyes. You gave your own silent response as you offered a warm smile and a quick shake of your head before having them follow you down the halls. In any other scenario, you would have in, but things were different now. Your children need to be well-rested for the upcoming events. You were going to give them the life they deserved.

Arriving at their sleep quarters, you slid the door open, allowing the twins in first before following. Before closing the door, you took a peek out into the hallway to make sure no one was approaching. Once you deduced nobody was coming, you slowly and quietly slid the door shut, quick to approach your kids' bedside.

"Mama, do we have to go to bed?" your daughter whined.

"Yeah, do we really have to?" your son followed.

You could not help but lightly chuckle at their resistance to sleep. Your heart filled with warmth as you remembered sharing a similar moment with your mother. There were many occasions they reminded you of yourself, and you could not wait to see more of those similarities manifest when you leave this temple. You could not wait to give them a regular and well-deserved life.

"Yes, you both have to rest. You two need to preserve your energy for the days to come."

That statement piqued their interest, their faces perking up with intrigue.

"What is to come, Mama?" the twins sounded in unison like they did so often in these moments. Sometimes, it was almost as if they shared the same mind.

"Well, soon enough, you will get to meet your grandparents," you whispered, "you cousins, aunts, and uncles, all from Mama's side of the family."

"Really?!" the two shouted, settling down when you gestured for them to lower their voices.

"Yes, but do not tell your father, it is..." you trailed, picking your words carefully, "a surprise visit just for the three of us, and I do not want him to feel left out."

There was no doubt that you despised Sukuna in every sense of the word, but you did not wish for your children to hate him. Believe it or not, you wanted your twins to paint a good picture of their father, and whether that picture remained clean was up to Sukuna himself– you would not tarnish his name for him.

"Okay, Mama, we promise we will not tell." your son spoke for the two of them, his sibling nodding in turn as she motioned to seal her lips.

You smiled, whispering a small thank you before kissing the top of their foreheads and letting them rest. You stood quietly, blowing out the candles illuminating the room before leaving. Once you stepped foot into the hallway, you were startled to see a guard, a familiar one at that, though he had clearly aged with time.

"Y/n-sama, I have been instructed to take you to your sleeping chambers," the male spoke before swiftly turning on his heel to lead you to your room.

The man's voice was cold and almost distant as he spoke to you, but his voice was familiar. You were acquainted with most of the staff within the temple, but you could not remember where you had met him in particular, though he seemed familiar and significant. Your face contorted as your mind pondered, trying to recognize his face in your personal timeline, but nothing came to mind.

"Your wedding night," the guard spoke suddenly, noticing your expression of thought, "I held and guarded the door during your wedding night."

You thought back to your wedding day, and it suddenly hit you. The guard was the same one Sukuna had forced to watch the consummation of your marriage. You quickly grew flustered at the memory, clearing your throat before speaking.

"I recall now," you responded, your voice barely above a whisper.

"Are you happy, Y/n-sama?" another unshakable tone as he questioned you.

Why was he asking this?

"Yes, I'm happy."

You did not know what this man was playing at, but you did not want to fall into any traps, so you gave the preferred answer when this question was presented to you on many occasions.

"Even though you have suffered all these years, bearing and raising his offspring?"

"Excuse me?" you grimaced at the guard's words.

"Nothing, I am sorry, I have overstepped my boundaries. I will leave you now," the man uttered, leaving you at the doorway to your sleeping quarters.

You narrowed your eyes, staring as the male's figure grew smaller in the distance. What did he gain from that interaction? No matter– it was no longer your problem to deal with. Collecting yourself, you entered the room and immediately faced Sukuna.

"Come and close the door. We must speak of these urgent matters in private," Sukuna muttered as he blankly stared at the wall in front of him.

You did not question the man and slid the door closed, approaching him as he turned to you. Before you could speak, Sukuna placed a pair of hands on your shoulders, looking into your eyes. His gaze held no emotion you could directly name, but you could sense an urgency in his tone as he spoke to you.

"We leave tonight. The others have been informed and are gathering their belongings– I advise you to do the same."

"What?! Now?! Sukuna, what is going on that you are not telling anyone?" you urged, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Now is no time to be questioning me, Y/n. Hurry, we are leaving shortly."

"No."

The word slipped out without thought. You did not care when you left because your plans would not change, but your partner was acting strangely, and you could not help but be curious as to why. The curiosity is what led you to stand there motionless as your husband stared you down.

"Stubborn as always, I see," the curse-user muttered, "Fine, you want to know, huh? We made a pact, and I'm upholding the bargain. You told me to protect those children, right? Well, for their interest, we are leaving, so be grateful."

You stood there silently, looking into Sukana's unwavering gaze.

"What is going on?" you repeated the question.

"Your village plans to lay siege, and we are leaving to not get caught in the firing radius."

That explained the tensity and whispers among the temple. That explained the extra protection. Everything now made sense and you could not help the feeling of something rising up your throat.

Laughter.

You laughed uncontrollably, trying to cover your mouth to muffle the outburst, but to no avail. Nothing about the situation was logically funny, but you could not control yourself.

"After years of torment, they only now decide to lay siege?" you cackled, "And the best part is that Ryomen Sukuna is fleeing with his tail between his legs."

You should have seen what was to come next when you made that last statement, feeling your hair being tugged to look up at the man you had insulted. Your laugh quickly subsided, swallowing the lump in your throat as you stared into his orbs. You had crossed a line this time, but for once, you were not scared of the intimidation; however, what had shocked you was Sukuna smashing his lips against yours.

"I am the most feared man in Japan– I have no reason to be scared, at least for myself. I am doing this for us and our creation because I love you, Little Flower."

"You do not love me. You love what I can do for you, Sukuna."

"I see where our children have gotten their observance." Sukuna joked, "But you are not entirely wrong. However, that does not change the fact we are leaving right here and now so collec-"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH"

The deformed man paused mid-sentence at the high-pitched scream, storming out of the room to see the commotion. You wasted no time in following him, walking down the hall before being met with the stench of blood. Had one of the pregnant wives gone into labor? Was someone injured? Or was...

Before you could finish that last thought, you were met with the sight of a lifeless body surrounded by its own red fluid. It was disturbingly familiar, and that was because it was the body of the guard that had escorted you earlier. You were shocked at his mangled state, his face just barely beyond recognition, but before you could allow the shock to settle in, another sound of screams was heard in the opposite direction.

Without thought, you bolted in the direction the screams came from. You flew past those blank walls faster than you knew you were capable of before landing at the sight of another body surrounded by women. It was your attendant, her face frozen in fear, her body almost in the same state as the previous one. This death hit you harder than the earlier one as you covered your mouth, keeping the bile from rising up your throat.

Despite the grief and sickness you were feeling, you could only think of one thing, and that was your twins. You lingered for a second longer before running to your twin's bedroom. You had not noticed, but Sukuna trailed behind you closely as you sprinted through the temple. Your breath was running ragged, but you would be damned if you were to leave your twins behind in this gruesome mess.

You made it to the door, sliding it open and rushing in, your eyes scanning the room for your twins, but they were nowhere to be seen. Your heart hammered against her chest as you began to panic, turning to Sukuna to see that his face was once again blank as he looked into the room from the doorway. Why did he have that look on his face? It did not matter– you had to search for your children. You turned to look back into the interior room, looking up from the bedrolls to be met with the wall, and heard the sound of a scream once again, your heart dropping.

You had found your twins hanging from the wall, a message written above them that was written in their own blood.

"Bring back our daughter."

Taglist:

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[writteninlunarlight-years]

Salutations! Might be a… oddly specific request? So feel free to throw it out if you don't like it! I've just had this idea floating in my brain for awhile and I think its cute.

So basically Lucifer (Hazbin Hotel) makes friends with someone who is also really grief stricken over their last relationship. (I was thinking that they would be a widow/widower but you can go whatever route you want) They both find solace in one another and feel like they understand eachothers pain. They both get really close and before he can realize whats happening, Lucifer is head over heels and it hits him like a freight train when he realizes it. He wants so desperately to hold this person to his chest, protect them, and build a future together that neither of them had thought possible before; but he is also terrified of scaring them off if he does anything. Both of them are wounded, and Lucifer isnt sure how deep or raw those wounds are. So Lucifer just ends up turning into a puddle of a man when they are around.

Like I said, Ive just had this rotting in my head for awhile and I am not nearly skilled enough to do anything with it, sooooo have fun with it if it peaks your interest! <3

Broken Hearts Still Beat Again

"I may not be your first love, kiss, or date..... but damn baby, I want to be your last everything." -Unknown

Tw: Angst, Hurt-Comfort, Failed relationships, fear of abandonment, learning to love again, taking risks, slight spiciness at the end

~Prior to the beginnings of the Extermination~

You can't remember how long it's been since it happened. Years, months, and days are far too long, honestly. All you could remember was his face, his sad, sad, lonesome face, and the grinning menace Adam beside him. Yes, that's right, Adam, the first Winner. You, too, were a Winner till all that time ago. How long?

Your husband, best friend, and closest confidant was also a Winner. You were Winners together. You two died in your sleep peacefully due to a shared illness. It was sweet, almost too romantic like St. Peter said when you two crossed the gates. 

Then it happened; you don't know why Adam sank his teeth into you. Yes, you were an incredible fighter in the mortal world, teaching children how to fight for their safety and never to provoke. So when he came to you and invited you to the exorcist guild, well, you were happy to train young fighters to protect themselves. Your partner was even happier to watch you flourish in Heaven as much as you did in your mortal life. 

Then you overheard Lute talking to an exorcist one day. You heard about the extermination of the poor souls, the damned being killed again and again. This news broke you. Who would remotely allow this? Who would stoop so low?

You called an impromptu meeting with Sara and Adam to inform them of this horrible act Lute was performing. The tyranny she was showing against the other angels to go down to Lucifer's territory and kill again.

Only things didn't go as planned, no see you did go to the meeting; you spoke your peace, and then they just smiled at you, eery creepy smiles, sent you on your way, and told you it would be handled. It was all quite odd; there was no demand for a trial, no need for proof of your words, nothing.

When you returned to your home where your husband was, it happened all too fast. Exorcists were grabbing you; Adam was telling your husband something; his face dropped, and he looked at you with hate. You were shouting, begging, pleading for anyone to listen to you. No one would, and you were flagged as a traitor right then and there.

You were taken to a ledge, and standing there, you looked into your husband's eyes, tears staining your face, your throat raw from screaming. You could feel the saliva strands between your parted lips as you whimpered and cried. You freed your arm from one of the exorcists and reached out to your husband; it was too late as he turned from you.

He spared one last look at you, turning back with tears in his eyes. You called out his name once again, and Sara spoke her orders of your treason against the balance of good and evil. Then, you were pushed off the ledge. 

You began to fall from heaven, assuming a more permanent death would be treating you soon. You closed your eyes; you didn't want your last memories to be death or Adam or any of what just happened.

You thought of your lover when you two were young and carefree the day he told you he loved you. As you felt the rushing of wind and air surrounding you, this thought alone was your solace, and then it all went black.....

~~~~ Lucifer's Pov ~~~~

The day that Lilith left was a cold, cold day in hell. Well, not for everyone, but definitely me.

The woman I gave everything up for was gone in an instant. Without a word. Without a trace. My relationship with Charlie was far more strained and hindered now. I was nothing now. A kingdom all to my own and nothing of value now that the two women I loved the most were gone. What was I to do in this lone castle whither away? 

I turned to the picture of Lilith and Charlie, and tears formed in my eyes. It all felt too surreal to much. She was gone, my family gone, my life gone, all gone gone gone. As I sat there and cried, fists beating into the floor below, my wails echoing through the halls of my now abandoned residence, I felt so empty.

That's when an imp came in, holding a letter from the angels above. It was time to sign our agreement on the executions. Maybe that's why Lilith left; I was so willing to save our family that I gave up on our dreams for hell. 

I should have spoken to her and let her decide, but they threatened Charlie, so I had to act. I had to save my precious daughter, my pride and joy. That's also why I had to tell Charlie that her plan to 'save all sinners' needed to end. I remember it like yesterday, sitting at the table with them, breaking the news of the agreement I would sign soon. They looked so hurt, so betrayed.

I honestly was a failure. 

I stood, heading to the bathroom to clean up before my meeting. Soon after my name is signed on the soul pact, the first and only angelic building will grace hell, and the clock will start counting down. I was prepared for my subjects to hate me, but my family, it was all too much.

There was nothing to lose now, though, so hell with it. I made my way to the opening portal to heaven. It's now or never. I will sign this and keep the ones I love safe, even if they never know.

I love you, Lilith, I love you, Charlie. 

~~~~ Reader POV ~~~~

When you woke back up under a dark red sky, you figured you had to have fainted while falling to your death. Yet when you looked down at yourself, you were the same old you. The only notable difference was that your skin was no longer pure white. You had greyed out some, and your clothing was torn from your fall. Looking around, you saw a giant pentagram in the sky and a large white orb to the right. Was that heaven?

Standing on your legs again, your back was killing you. You began to walk anywhere; people here were very different from the Winners. Death, porn, canabalizim, all of it fully welcomed. This would take some getting used to. 

As you crossed the threshold of the city, now standing in the middle, you heard a horrible noise. It sounded like a bell, but it was so loud. You turned to your left, where the noise was coming from, and there was a clock and some numbers; just above the numbers, it read 'days till execution.' that's when you realized it.

A building, the only building that looked like what you are familiar with in heaven. You were shocked it wasn't Lute causing tyranny. It was all of them, every single one of them, in charge. 

You sank to your knees, realizing you would never be safe. You signed your sentence when you went to them with the information you learned. You were no longer a Winner...You were a Sinner, and your days were numbered.

You had something over everyone else; you knew how the angels fought and trained them daily. Using this knowledge to your advantage, you went through the town, trying to find anywhere you could start your new life. 

~~~ FLASH FORWARD 7 YEARS ~~~

You were lucky when you ran into Charlie. She was a godsend if god was even real. The Princess of Hell had the same morals and values as you, which you respected. Vaggie was also a pleasant surprise; you could tell a soldier you taught a mile away.

She remembered you as well. She kept to herself till you three made it to a safe place, Charleis's soon-to-be hotel. Once Charlie was out of earshot and working on getting supplies to heal everyone, she confronted you. 

Tears welled in her eyes when she asked what had happened. She was in shock when you explained how you ended up here. According to Vaggie, everyone was told that you died on a mission to hell.

The Sinners alerted Lucifer of your whereabouts, and he killed you; thus, in doing so, a protective force of angels was created. Fearmongering was the one thing Adam was damn good at. 

It was broken to you by Vaggie that your partner had moved on with another. He was in love and happy with another woman, one Adam hand-picked for him. You were devastated again; years of promises, lost nights, and romantic meetings disappeared. He gave up everything because Adam told him to.

You two agreed that your past lives in Heaven would no longer be discussed that night.

Crying your eyes out long after Vaggie returned to her shared room with Charlie, did you swear off love by taking your wedding band off and locking it in a drawer.

It was no longer a hidden fact that Lucifer had signed the deal with the Angels, and it was far less hidden knowledge that the relationship between King and Princess was strained.

The rag-tag group of residents was growing by the day. Angel Dust was fun, and you could quickly tell from how he talked and looked he wanted a way out. Soon after Charlie's broadcast, Alastor and his group, Husk and Nifty, joined the hotel's crew. Though the Radio Demon was creepy, you knew something was eating him deep inside. Nifty was a riot to get talking to and always brought you exciting things she found while cleaning. Husk was a perfect bartender, and you knew he would keep your dirty secrets for you. He was the only one you confided your past in. 

You supported Charlie wholeheartedly in her decision to overrule the exterminations. You were eager to help her prove that sinners could become winners. Look at you, for heaven's sake; if it could go one way, it had to go the other.

Sir Pentious was the last to join and was easy to talk to. He was awkward, but you loved his fabricated war stories and eggbois. Then, one day, he came along; you won't lie.

You were hesitant. I mean, he signed away Hell's right to life. You couldn't deny it, though; he was funny and ethereal. You swore off love, though, and you wouldn't let another break your heart again.

~~~~ Lucifer's POV ~~~~

When I got Charlie's call, I didn’t know what emotions to feel: sorrow, excitement, fear, jubilation. I was beyond myself, and as I finally answered the phone, all I could muster was, “Hey, Biiiiitch.”

Yeah, it was smooth of me to say that; however, it didn’t deter Charlie. She wanted me to come and visit her. I was over the moon; depression had nothing on me.

I looked at my hand as I was cleaning myself up and getting ready to go. Looking down and seeing that cursed band I once shared with the love of my life.

I found Lilith's ring left on her nightstand just days after her departure to who knows where. I couldn’t bring myself to take the ring off; it's all I had left of her; it reminds me to keep hoping she would forgive me; maybe I'll forgive myself. 

As I made my way to Charlie's hotel, thoughts pressed into my mind about how I wanted this reunion to go. It never occurred to me how much Charlie may have changed. Was she still the same woman I knew before we fought?

Sighing as I approached the door, I realized it was now or never. Let's do this, baby. What's the worst that could happen? She hates me and leaves me forever like her mother did, and now I am forever alone? Hahahahah NO!

I entered the hotel door, and jeez, what is this place?

Putting a smile on my face, I approached Charlie and hugged her, introducing myself to her girlfriend. Woah, I like girls, too. See, we can bond. As I was making my rounds with Charlie, meeting everyone, I saw her….She was….gorgeous. I could tell from her looks that she wasn’t an everyday Sinner, and something was different about her. 

After a brief and, might I say, victorious battle with this ‘Alastor’ fellow, I spent some time with my daughter, allowing her to show me around her hotel. As we stood atop the balcony, I made the first fatal error of the night. “So, CharChar, what is this all about?” 

Charlie rolled her eyes at me and excitedly smiled, “It’s a hotel to cleanse and rehabilitate Sinners! I told you this, Dad!” The excitement on her face was genuinely adorable, but she couldn’t do it. I couldn’t allow this. The elder angels would just hurt her like they did me. They already threatened my family once; I can’t let them do this again.

I knew by the look on Charlie's face that my reaction wasn’t what she was expecting. As I went to speak to her, a loud explosion was heard downstairs. 

We rushed down, and I saw an opportunity to prove to Charlie why we couldn’t follow this plan. As I ran forward to catch up with the others, I saw the mystery woman again. She was fighting alongside Alastor and his demons perfectly; she was beautiful and brilliant in battle, always expecting the next attack.

Once the sharks were dealt with and the young lady who seemed to know Alastor left, I turned back to Charlie and attempted to plead my case. “See Charlie, look, they are all the same; Sinners will never be redeemed; they will never go to heaven.” 

“You don’t know that, Dad, please.” The look on Charlie's face broke me, but this had to be done. I couldn’t let her get hurt. 

“What makes you so sure, Mr. King of Hell, that these people here can’t be redeemed?” This voice was new and soft.

I turned to the mystery girl. Her eyes were lit with a flame. I could see how much passion she had for my daughter's cause. As I went to speak back, Charlie interjected. 

“Father, I only want to do this for you, for my people. Your dreams are what gave me this goal.” I was taken aback. I was Charlie's prime motivation; my stories and goals helped her become this remarkable woman. 

“Your daughter is twice the ruler of you; she's willing to save her people; what are you willing to do?” The mystery woman had a point. I was a coward, too prideful of what I had to allow it to fall potentially. I looked at Charlie, and a moment formed between us. 

“Alright, let’s get Heaven on the line then.” I knew it was time to face my fear to help the people I pleaded for all those years ago. I may not be able to stand my ground due to the contract, but damn can my daughter and her friends do it. 

While Charlie started getting ready for her meeting, I was a nervous wreck. What if something happened to her? I knew the cruel hands that played in heaven and what could be done.

As I was pacing back and forth in the lobby, a figure stood before me, a drink in hand, and the other extended a glass to me. I looked up, and it was her; she was still just as beautiful as the first time I saw her. I gently took the glass and downed the concoction in it. “Thank you, uh, my name is Lucifer Morningstar, affamed fallen angel and father of Charlie.” 

“I know; I was here when everything went down.” She looked at me blankly. Of course, she was here. Jesus, could I be any lamer?

She snorted at my facial expression and stuck her hand out for me. “My name is Y/N; nice meeting you, Mr. King of Hell; it’s a pleasure. By the way, I only said all that because I knew it would strike a nerve in you. I learned from my past anyone prideful hates when their authority is challenged.” 

In her past, odd, there weren’t a lot of demons here who A would let someone challenge their authority and live, so she must be powerful, or B, she is speaking of her mortal life. However, something about both of those options did not seem quite right.

I nodded gently at her and sat at the bar. She soon tended to the others in the hotel, and I began to observe her. She acted like a mother, telling the others what to and not to do double-checking the other inhabitants of the hotel before they left the building.

Hell, she even talked to Alastor on some sort of equal ground. Something was different about her, so so different. I looked at my hand again while I took another swig of my refilled glass. Setting the glass down, I started to twirl the ring. Would Lilith have been this good to everyone? Would Lilith have even cared? 

I sighed; if I wanted to help Charlie, I had to let go of the past. I took the ring off, dropped it in the liquor, and went to the front door. As I reached for the handle, I was stopped by a soft hand on my wrist.

Turning, I saw Y/N, “Hey, one second, mister, you forgot this.” She placed the ring down in the palm of my hand. “I have been scorned by love too. Don’t get me wrong, I also took off my band long ago. However, I can say that though their memory is tainted now, you should enjoy the memories of good when you can. Helps keep the bad thoughts away.” She smiled up at me so brightly I couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate it. Do say you seem like a swell mother figure to all these people here. Why tie yourself to this place if you don’t want redemption? I remember what you said earlier, ‘All these people’, excluding yourself.” She stalled, hesitating about how she wanted to answer.

I just shook my head and smiled at her. I began to walk away back to my home. As I made my way back I heard Y/N shout, “COME BACK SOON LUCIFER!” For some reason, I really liked how my name sounded from her. 

~~~~~ Reader POV ~~~~~

You were sat at the hotel by yourself, Angel, and the others all went to a club while Charlie and Vaggie went to Heaven. You had time to think about the most recent occurrence in your life: Lucifer.

It was a whirlwind that day meeting him. So many emotions overtook you: fear, anger, an odd sense of curiosity. You couldn’t lie. He was attractive, and the way he was protective of Charlie was adorable. You never got to have children; your ex-husband never wanted them.

You don’t know what possessed you to speak to Lucifer like you did, telling him he was a lowly king. You used the excuse that you had done it to others in your past, which was valid; you and Adam argued a lot. Deep down, you knew, though, that's not why you did it. You wanted to protect Charlie and her dream. 

Sighing, you made your way around the building, ensuring the halls were clean and everything was orderly. You still weren't fond of all the allowed things here in hell, so going out with everyone was a once-in-a-blue moon.

It struck you as amusing when Lucifer commented on you being a mother figure because that is how everyone saw you. Hell, even Alastor commented one or two times that you reminded him of his angel of a mother. You just wanted the best for everyone; it wasn’t fair to die and then be killed again. 

You heard the lobby door open once you were done doing your rounds. Odd, typically, everyone stayed out way late, and the girls weren't expected back till tomorrow.

As you descended the stairs, you saw none other but the man plaguing your mind: Lucifer. Smiling softly, you met him at the base of the stairs, giving him a short wave. He smiled at you and announced that he figured everyone would be gone today and was going to help out Charlie. You snorted at him and explained how you stayed back to help but were more than pleased to allow him to keep you company. He took refuge at the bar, and you soon joined him.

You two talked for hours about so many things, from his life as an angel to your old mortal life. You guys even talked about the differences between Heaven and Hell. Hopefully, you weren't giving your old station away to him, but a part of you didn’t care.

By the time you two got to the dreaded conversation about relationships, you were inebriated. You recounted your betrayal to Lucifer, holding nothing back. From your teenage years with your ex till the day he turned from you while Adam pushed you. Lucifer looked so heartbroken for you.

He gently pushed some hair out of your face when he said, “I am so sorry that happened to you, Y/N. I knew something was different about you, so you too fell from that dreaded cliff like I.” You nodded sadly. 

Lucfier explained why he made his decisions and how Charlie's life was threatened if he didn’t end Lilith’s music and allow the Exorcist to come down. He told you something interesting about the clause of the agreement: No Hell Born Could Be Harmed In The Extermination Less The Binding Be Null And Void.

This was amusing to you; even after singing his people away for slaughter, he was still concerned the angels would trick him and harm his child. He was always thinking about those he loved. It was endearing.

How could someone leave such a handsome, kind, protective man? The thought even crossed your mind that Lucifer would have fallen with you if he had been your husband instead of letting Adam take the lead.

As these thoughts crossed your mind, you didn’t realize how close your two faces were getting. Before you knew it, your lips were touching Lucifers gently. Seconds passed, and his hands were buried in your hair, kissing you with a passion you never got from your ex. 

As you two broke apart, the doors to the hotel opened again. Angel came running over to you, noticing your state of drunkenness. He apologized to Lucifer, stating you never really drank much and took you to your room.

You smiled softly as Lucifer said a quick ‘goodbye’ and ‘good night’ to you before drifting off to sleep. Your dreams that night were full of Lucifer, his beauty, charisma, and devotion eating you alive. You may have sworn off love, but for him to love you how he once loved Lilith would be beautiful. 

~~~~~ TIME SKIP ~~~~~

Months had passed since your night with Lucifer, and a whole war between you at the hotel and the angels broke out. Everyone learned of your past in Heaven from Adam before he perished.

You felt free, no longer chained to the past that harmed you. Now you had something more to look forward to. Though you and Lucifer never spoke of that night again, you held the memory close. He loved Lilith a lot, and especially Charlie; for all you knew, when he kissed you that night, he was just imagining Lilith once more. It hurts to think that, but you must be true to yourself. 

After Adam's carnage, it was awkward for you and Lucifer. You two avoided eye contact and only spoke when you had to. However, as time passed and you both pretended the night alone never happened, things changed.

You and Lucifer did become fast friends, though. Having shared a fall from heaven, deep heart break, and even more so a hotel together it was hard not too. It was hard ever to see you two separated from one another. Laughing, joking, talking, and even debating over effective ways to pull in more Sinners.

You two became more affectionate as well, his hand on the small of your back, him guiding you by his arm, or even you adjusting his cravat and making him his favorite teas. To onlookers, it seemed like you two were married. 

It was so compelling that you two were married that even Charlie told you she would be fine if you loved her dad.

Love…That's such a strong word. Is that what you felt? You can’t lie. You fantasize about it. You were scared, though. What if he let you down like your ex did? Can you handle being a mom to Charlie, not just a figure, a real mom taking the spot Lilith left? That was a worry, too; what about Lilith if she returned? Would he go back to her?

Would you be left so suddenly again? 

While your mind raced, you mindlessly swept the corner of your room, thinking deeply about this debacle. When suddenly, your door bursts open. 

~~~~~ Lucifer’s POV ~~~~~

I was ecstatic after my night with Y/N. She was excellent, calm, cunning, and articulate. She also knew my pain of the angels turning on you. The kiss meant so much to me. I was finally feeling things I hadn’t felt before Lilith left.

Lilith….was I ready to move on? Could I move on?

When I closed my eyes that night, I saw both old memories of Lilith and the times we had, but also new visions of Y/N and all we could be. She was terrific; if only I could get to know her more and see how she felt. She also stated she swore off love, too.

Would I be included? 

When the day came for the extermination, I couldn’t bear to turn on the news; I didn’t want to see Charlie's dreams get crushed. I sat and waited, staring at the clock. As soon as the chaos broke out, I was up and pacing.

It wasn’t just Charlie; I was worried about Y/N being there too. Yes, she was a fighter and trained those Angels, but what if the worst happened? What if you died protecting Charlie?

That's one thing he loved: how motherly you were for his daughter. Not that Lilith never was, but it was clear to him that no matter how hard life got, you would stand by those you loved side.

Why couldn’t Lilith have done that for them? 

That was when I felt the tug, a complex, sudden pull. Half of the signed agreement shriveled; that only meant one thing.

I ran as fast as I could to the hotel; once I saw the carnage, I flew to protect Charlie. It was Adam, the man who turned the heavens against me, who turned heaven against you. Years of pent-up rage and a new passion for protecting Y/N overtook me as Charlie and I took down the angels.

Once the battle felt calm, everyone began looking for you and Alastor. Honestly, I could care less about the Radio Demon. He gave me bad vibes, but you were missing. You went in to save Vaggie from Lute; however, no one saw you anywhere when the building collapsed. 

Shouting, digging through rubble, I heard Charlie yell out that she had found you. Sighing now that I knew you were alive and only minorly injured, we cleaned up.

With a bit of magic and a whap bam boom, we had a new Hazbin Hotel, oh and Alastor returned. I wanted to discuss your past with you about a potential us, but I couldn’t. You looked so happy now that the chains of your past were broken. 

The next couple of months were odd, for sure. I couldn't stand to look Y/N in the eyes, and though I yearned for her, I couldn't bear the weight of rejection again.

I tried, though, to show her how much I wanted her in subtle ways. What was a once-stolen night became a close friendship. I could tell her anything and everything. She was like a breath of fresh air; she never denied any of the ideas Charlie or I had, instead helping make them better. With her and I’s past with heaven, we knew how to overcome the obstacles they would throw. 

Before I knew it, I craved her touch and comfort, and she gave it to me. Small lingering touches of hands, hugs that lasted too long, small gifts and favors never asked for. I was falling and falling hard. She was everything I could want. I loved Y/N.

Oh god, I loved Y/N. I was a wreck seeking counsel from the only other person who knew me best, Charlie. She was so happy, begging me to confess and tell Y/N how I felt. Could I, though? Would she accept me? Could she take the new title of Queen of Hell? 

As I lay in bed pondering the conversation Charlie and I had, thinking of the new memories I had made with Y/N, I was stuck. Confess and have a happy new life, or confess, and she leaves me, too. You weren't one to go, though I knew that. What if, though, you weren't ready?

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander; I saw Y/N in a beautiful dress at our wedding, Y/N giving me another child, and Y/N fighting alongside Charlie and me. That’s it; I can’t hold back any longer.

I dressed myself in my robe and marched my way to your door. I began to knock, but I heard nothing in the room. Sighing because I knew Y/N had to be in here, I busted the door open, and there you were, staring off into space so cutely.

Shit.

~~~~~ Readers POV ~~~~~

The noise startled you from your thoughts. There before you stood Lucifer in his robes. Smirking, You turned away from the man and laughed gently into your hand. “What are you doing here, goober? It's the middle of the night, and you are very underdressed.”

No questions were answered, though, as Lucifer approached you; he stood there staring you in the eyes. You didn’t know what this look meant, but it was intense. Had you offended him? 

As you went to speak again, Lucifer placed one of his hands on your cheek, cupping your face. You looked at his hand and back up at him; you were breathing too fast. As you two looked at one another, no words were uttered; slowly, Lucifer placed his other hand on your waist.

You laid claim to his chest with your hands gently splayed there. Something in his eyes begged you to be closer and not push him away. How could you? He was holding you in a way that you had only dreamed of. 

Lucfier moved closer to your face, your lips mere inches apart when he spoke, “Y/N, I love you. No, that doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings. I am fascinated, lust-filled, and desire you and you alone. I want forever to be with you, a time I only thought possible with one person who never intended to fill that role. A forever purely our own with our family. A future dedicated to following dreams and passion. Following our love. Will you stay with me, Y/N? Please stay with me.” 

You were speechless, your mouth slightly agape, and you didn’t know how to process such emotions. You were overwhelmed and so excited. You knew if you took any longer to confirm or deny him he would leave and never speak of this, just like the kiss before.

You did the only thing you thought you could at that moment. You wrapped your arms around his neck and closed the gap. Kissing Lucifer this time felt just as good, if not better, than the last. Your hands tied in his hair, holding him close. His hands are keeping you in place, his kiss fierce and dominating. Before you knew it, he had his hands just under the cusp of your ass, prompting you to jump. As you did, you never broke the kiss. 

Lucifer leads you to the nearest wall, kissing your lips and neck. This was everything you dreamed of, everything you wanted. Each kiss was a contract that you two would never hurt the other as your partners did.

You felt alive, like electricity was coursing through your veins. Every kiss made a new pattern in your heart, soon beating in time with Lucifers. The heated kisses died down and turned into soft, light ones. Placing your feet back on the ground, you hugged Lucifer close, his head buried in your neck and yours in his. 

You smiled a large smile before whispering, “I will always stay by your side, Lucifer. You and Charlie are my reason, my purpose now.” You could feel his smile next to your ear without ever having to open his mouth.

You were so happy.

You two heard a shutter sound as you pulled away, and a bright flash erupted behind Lucifer. As you turned to the door, everyone stood there: Charlie was happy and clapping, Vaggie was giving a thumbs up, Alastor was holding the camera, Nifty was making gagging sounds, and Angel was smirking. You laughed wholeheartedly; who knew a broken heart would beat again?

My good friend @willowaudreykeyes helped me with the editing a bit! I appreciate the effort and time they put into assisting me. Even though we live halfway across the world from one another, you have my back!

[totowlff]

chapter forty-eight — starcrossed (again)

➝ their paths had led them to that moment, and they regretted nothing.

➝ word count: 2,2k

➝ warnings: birth description

➝ author’s note: i finally had the balls to post this chapter. i hope you like it and forgive me for the delay. these have not been very easy weeks for me in my personal life.

DECEMBER, 2018

As she opened her eyes, Elisabeth had the distinct impression that she’d been hit by a truck, but even through the haze of pain, her vision immediately focused on the small empty bassinet next to her bed. 

  Panic surged through Elisabeth’s body as she bolted upright from. All she felt for a moment was her heart pounding against her sternum, until the searing pain in her pelvis registered. Once it did, she couldn’t help but groan in agony.  

  — Fuck — Elisabeth gasped, trying to continue moving. She had to do something, she couldn’t just lie in bed all day. She had to…

 Hissing in pain, she had just managed to get her toes barely touching the floor when she heard the handle to the room’s door turning. She looked up to see Toto, holding a cup of something dark and steaming - hospital coffee, no doubt. 

— Liesl, what are you doing? — he asked, setting the drink down haphazardly on the rolling tray next to her bed so he could help her  — You heard what the nurses said, you can’t get up on your own, especially after a cesarean section.

  — The baby’s not in the crib, I just… I want — Elisabeth stammered, as Toto guided her back into bed. 

  — My love, the nurse took the baby to the nursery so you could get some sleep, don't you remember? — Toto said gently, brushing a stray curl out of her eyes. 

  Elisabeth blinked. She felt disoriented. She couldn’t remember even talking to the nurse, never mind talking to her about taking her baby to the nursery.

  — I want my baby — she stammered, as fat tears leaked from her eyes  — I'm the mother, I want my baby here by my side, I want…

  Toto took Elisabeth’s face gently in his hands, trying to soothe her.

  — My love, you need to rest…

  — I don't want to rest, I want my baby…

  — You need to rest, Elisabeth  — he replied, a bit more firmness in his voice.

  — But…

  — Please, my love. You spent 24 hours in labor, and had to have surgery on top of it. 

  Elisabeth blinked again. Toto was right, and it was the first time she realized the magnitude of what the past two days had wrought. Her life — and Toto's — had completely changed, and it was the most exhausting two days of her life.

Her water broke while she was at home. That part of the process was much more peaceful than what she had imagined. There was no panic, no mad dash to the hospital. She was more than ready, at least mentally, and her doula arrived in practically no time, keeping her calm and reassuring her that everything was going as expected. 

  However, the pain soon became more than could be managed at home, and a comment from Toto about how pale Elisabeth looked had the doula making the call to err on the side of caution. The obstetrician examined her, and noted that she was only halfway through the process at five centimeters dilated. 

She tried to be optimistic about her progress in those last six hours, after all, it was her first birth. But with each hour that passed, she grew more anxious, and the pain got much worse; the Pilates ball and the warm water bath in her room did little to help.

As the sun was coming up, the doctor examined Elisabeth again to check on her progress, declaring that she was fully dilated and that she could begin pushing before long. Her doula assured her that everything would be over in the next few hours, and Elisabeth felt encouraged.

However, things didn’t go quite as planned.

Although her body was ready to push, Elisabeth couldn’t do so without feeling excruciating pain, which neither the doula's techniques nor the powerful drugs in her IV line could alleviate. The obstetrician soon discovered what the problem was: the baby’s head was stuck against Elisabeth’s pelvic bone — fetal asynclitism, the obstetrician explained, the remedy for which was a cesarean section.

Elisabeth couldn't hold back her tears when she heard the doctor's words. She wasn’t sure if she was crying more from pain or from frustration; she’d already been in labor for several hours, along with the anxiety and anticipation, and in the end, she needed to have surgery anyway. Tears filled her eyes as she was wheeled into the operating room, trying to focus on what really mattered - the hope that her baby would come safely into the world.

As she settled back into bed, Elisabeth did her best to focus on the motion of Toto's fingers, which were drawing circles on the back of her hand.

— You need to rest as much as possible — he murmured, bringing her hand to his lips to place a kiss — I’ll be right here the whole time.

— You will?

— Yes, my love. Always.

With a small smile, Elisabeth allowed herself to close her eyes again, falling into a peaceful and dreamless sleep.

She was woken up by a loud cry — it sounded like an infant, which made Elisabeth snap her eyes open. She looked around the room until she saw Toto standing by the window. In his arms, he was holding a squalling infant, wrapped in a white blanket with a crocheted cap. Even though the baby looked far too small in Toto’s long arms, he looked like a practiced professional, despite his previous child being born fifteen years ago.

— It's okay, my little aprikose — he cooed, gently bouncing the bundle up and down — We just changed your diaper, what's bothering you now?

— …Hungry, maybe? — Elisabeth mumbled, adjusting herself to sit up a bit. Upon hearing her voice, Toto turned around, giving a small smile.

— Maybe — he replied, bringing the baby closer— Want to see?

Elisabeth nodded and adjusted herself a bit more so Toto could hand the baby over, as carefully as possible. As soon as the baby was securely in Elisabeth’s arms, she positioned herself so the child could suck on her breast. As the baby managed to latch, Elisabeth pressed her mouth into a thin line.

— Is everything okay?

— Yes, just sensitive — she murmured, looking into the baby's open and attentive eyes.

— Does it hurt? — Toto asked.

— It's not pain, it's just discomfort. It's weird.

— I can imagine — he said, placing a hand on her head, stroking her messy curls.

Elisabeth looked at her baby with an almost childish enchantment. She couldn't believe that she was holding the materialization of everything she felt for Toto in her arms. Despite the pain, anxiety, and exhaustion, it felt wonderful.

— Liesl — Toto said, after a few minutes of silence. Eliasbeth looked up at him, and he continued — Your parents are already here, they'll be up soon.

— Did you talk to them?

— Your mother sent me a message…

— I mean about — she hesitated for a few seconds — Him.

Toto looked thoughtfully at the baby.

It was not as if Toto and Elisabeth cared if they were having a boy or a girl, but they were keenly aware of Niki’s desire to have a granddaughter at last, but those dreams were dashed in the operating room when Elisabeth's obstetrician triumphantly announced that they were the parents of a big boy with especially strong lungs - considering the way he cried.

When they saw the baby for the first time, still covered in blood and squirming in the doctor's hands, Elisabeth and Toto began to laugh. Neither of them could really believe that their baby had turned out to be a boy, especially because they were so sure that they would be having a girl. As the adrenaline wore off in the recovery room, Elisabeth realized that she would have to tell Niki that he had another grandson afterall. It wasn’t as if she thought Niki would be upset, but he had been so excited about the prospect of a little girl, and Elisabeth didn’t want to disappoint him, especially given how fragile his health was these days.

— No, I didn't tell them.

She pursed her lips.

— He's going to be disappointed — Elisabeth murmured, looking at the boy who was still latched to her breast.

— I'm sure he won’t, my love — Toto replied, kissing her forehead — He'll love having another little Lauda boy.

The baby was back in the crib next to Elisabeth's bed when she heard a knock on the door. As Toto went to open it, she adjusted herself on the bed, running a hand through her hair. She was sure she looked like a disaster. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine”, she thought to herself, taking one last look at her son.

When her parents appeared in the doorway, Elisabeth couldn’t help but smile. She felt her heart pounding again as she saw the big bouquet of pastel flowers that her mother was holding. Behind her, her father trundled into the room with a black bag slung around his shoulder. There was a portable oxygen concentrator inside the bag that he needed to take everywhere now, connected to a cannula that looped around his ears and into his nose.

— Hi, my love — Marlene said softly, placing the flowers on the table before approaching her — How are you?

— Well, so far, so good — Elisabeth replied, while her mother placed a kiss on her face — In quite a bit of pain because of the incision, but everything else is fine.

— I can only imagine  — her mother murmured, smoothing down the strands of Elisabeth’s hair — Toto told us that things didn’t go quite as planned.

— Yes — Elisabeth sighed  — Let's say the baby got stuck and we had to go to plan B.

— But everything worked out, and that's what matters — Toto said, standing next to Marlene and putting an encouraging hand on Elisabeth’s shoulder.

 Elisabeth turned her head to the left and saw her father looking at the newborn in the crib with a contemplative expression. After a few seconds of silence, he looked up at her, sparkling with curiosity under his red cap.

— A boy?

Elisabeth nodded. Niki looked down at the baby.

— I think you and your brothers don't know how to make girls — he murmured, seriously.

— I thought you would be disappointed…

Her father let out a snort, interrupting her.

— Disappointed? Do you really think I would be disappointed in having another grandchild?

— Well — Elisabeth stammered, as he approached the bed — Toto and I thought that…

— Please, Mauslein, I could never be disappointed in you, especially at a time like this. Not to mention, you two can always try again, right?

She smiled, feeling her cheeks heat up.

— If you let me keep my balls — Toto murmured, winking at his partner.

— Maybe I will, I'll still think about it — Niki grumbled.

After a few more questionable jokes and Elisabeth discovering the hard way that she couldn't laugh without feeling pain, Toto asked the proud grandparents if they wanted to hold their new grandson. As Toto placed the sleeping baby in Niki’s arms, Elisabeth couldn’t help but feel her heart filling with a joy that was almost unbearable.

— He's beautiful, my love — Marlene said with a choked voice — Simply beautiful.

— He looks like you — Niki murmured, looking at Toto.

— Is that a good thing? — Toto asked.

— I still don't know — her father replied, looking back down at his grandson.

— I think it’s wonderful, Toto is a very handsome man — Marlene added — Besides, without the Lauda chin, maybe you won’t have to call him mausi.

The baby squirmed slightly in his grandfather's arms, the white blanket he was bundled in drawing a sharp contrast to Niki’s ever-present red cap. There was something beautiful and poetic about all of it, at least in Elisabeth's eyes. It was innocence in the face of wisdom, a life that began in the hands of one that had almost come to an end months before, both of them connected by something in common.

— What's his name? — her mother finally asked.

Elisabeth smiled.

— Andreas.

Niki looked up suddenly, looking like she couldn't believe his ears.

— What did you say?

— I said his name is Andreas — Elisabeth repeated, feeling her eyes fill with tears.

— Andreas Sven, actually — Toto added — We thought it would be appropriate to pay homage to both of our fathers. I hope you don't mind that, Niki.

A long silence filled the room. Marlene wiped her eyes, her lips pressed together in an attempt to avoid making any sound that might wake Andreas. Her father, on the other hand, seemed frozen in place, staring at the baby without saying a word.

— Dad — Elisabeth said softly — We can choose another name if you want...

— No, no — he murmured, looking at his daughter. That's when she noticed his eyes were wet — Andreas Sven is good, very good.

— Perfect, actually — Marlene added — And we can call him Andi, right?

She nodded as Niki handed the baby to Marlene and got up from the couch. Stopping in front of Toto, he seemed to hesitate for a few seconds before placing a hand on Toto's shoulder.

— Would you mind if I said something that’s probably sentimental bullshit?

— Of course not.

— Your father would be proud of the man you've become. And, if I may say so, I am too. You've grown a lot since I met you and, honestly, there's no one better than you to be by my daughter's side. Thank you for making her happy.

Toto smiled, before pulling Niki into a hug.

— And that goes double for you, Mauslein — her father added, as he moved away from Toto's hug — I couldn't be more proud of you, especially now. I love you.

It was Elisabeth's turn to smile, tears streaming down her cheeks.

— Thank you, dad. I love you too.

[peacocks-pantomime]

In an empty theatre, teardrops echo like the sound of applause.

All I do is lay down a bet~ It’s out of my control if my opponent decides to lay down their life, isn’t it?

After the chaos, not much was left of Sigonia-IV, yet there were two malnourished children-- Kakavasha and his Big Sis, nearly perishing from the elements on the ruined planet.

One day, there was finally salvation in the form of a light-- a light, and a beautiful woman dressed in elegant clothing peering down at them under a wide-brimmed hat.

She told them that they would be safe, that they could trust her-- and what other option did they have? She looked so different, and seemed so kind compared to the others that have mistreated them... Big Sis had been willing to give her a chance.

And so, Kakavasha was whisked away to another world, offered clean clothes and a room of his own. He fell asleep immediately, curling up on the soft carpet of the floor.

When he awoke, his Big Sis wasn't there. But they said she would be. They told him she would be. So he wanders through the strange building against his better judgement.

It wasn't long before he heard muffled words coming from the ajar door of a bright room. He snuck over to peek into the room and he saw people dressed in simplistic black clothing, taking notes on some sort of devices and huddled around a bed.

And on the bed lay the body of his dead sister. But those people would never acknowledge her as such; to them she was only an experiment. One of the last Sigonians of the Avgin race, a miraculous discovery. And they weren't going to tell him. They were going to hide it from him.

Blinded by the emotions swirling around inside of him, Kakavasha threw himself through the doorway, grabbing the first sharp tool in sight, and ended the lives of all the professionals in that wretched room one by one.

He'd cried the whole time. He couldn't identify the emotion the tears stemmed from-- whether from sadness at the loss of his sister, or from the rage burning bright-- but as the boy stood there, he dropped his weapon, wrapping his arms around himself in horror...

He didn't feel guilty for what he'd done.

That sort of control-- the ability to watch the life of another mortal slip away between his fingers and know that he was the cause...

It was empowering.

Notes from the moderator:

~ Mod also runs the @aventurine-official rp account, so the format is her own and is not plagiarized :)

~ Art (2nd top picture and pfp) and concept credit goes to @day-night-darlix! Their original post is here

~ This Aventurine exists in the same universe as @the-truth-of-nothingness

A famous musical artist and actor, known for masking his true self.

Roams around Penacony but travels the cosmos to perform

Is quite sadistic and will bet others on their life-- resulting in their death, because he never loses.

Longs to destroy the IPC as vengeance for the lies and betrayal from which his sister suffered

The glistening teardrop hanging around his neck allows him to mesmerize others with a glance, if he so wishes-- the glow of his eyes is interconnected

(I might add more details later, or link a headcanon post!)

Guidelines:

~ Keep the asks sfw if you please, suggestive is okay!

~ No random links in asks unless they are links to other Tumblr posts (if they are there, please specify what they are)

~ Be kind, please. Any hateful comments related but not limited to racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, ageism and transphobia will not be tolerated here and you may be blocked.

~ All ships (age-appropriate) are welcome. (I personally believe Aventurine is gay as hell, so he will have a noticeable interest in men versus women).

~ Try to avoid sending DMs to the mod unless you are another mod

~ Anons are more than welcome here! You may have a personalized tag and everything :)

List of current anon signoffs here

Key (if applicable):

" " : for dialogue

* * : for movements

( ) : ooc

Tags:

#ace of spades ♠️ : Art reblogs

#the flip of a coin 🪙 : Random thoughts and calm moments

#trump card 🃏 : Asks from anons and others

#life on the line 🎲 : Interactions with Honkai Star Rail blogs

#melancholy theatre 🎭 : Interactions with other members of the Masked Fools

#a warning spark 🎆 : Interactions with /mentions of Flare (a lovely mutual’s oc!)

#dear doctor 🍷 : Interactions with / mentions of the Veritas Ratio in his universe

Masterlist post of Honkai Star Rail-official blogs linked here

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Great analysis regarding the graveyard scene! I never understood why some people have problems believing his words here. He is very much the one to initiate everything, including the sex (which I think it's the best approach for him: let him take the lead when it comes to important matters like this related to the relationship). I think I get where people are coming from, but here in this case there is not any possible external pressure from anyone else like his partner, that could make him fall back into people-pleasing behavior. So there is no reason to worry!! IMHO that argument fits more the brothel thing with the twins because it's very much something the player initiates by dragging him back there anyway. There is no exclamation point over his head and doesn't ask Tav to go to brothels and have fun. It's not wrong to do it, he does consent but it has always surprised my when people are shocked he dissociated and that there is no option to talk to him afterwards or to stop it when they notice something is wrong. Why would there be? The game does want you to reflect back on what just happened: was it really okay to bring a victim of SA and forced prostitution to a brothel to have an orgy, just mere weeks/months into the relationship? Like, had this been real life I don't think most people would think it's a good idea.

I honestly think it's more of an empathy educed second guessing. Some players may be people pleasers and feel he is doing just that because that what they might do in that situation. Their experience colors the situation differently. As it does for all of us.

Their hearts are in the right place to want to be sure. And I totally get it. The request can come across as vague "I could be persuaded" can sound like, "Well, if you push hard enough" to someone who needs crystal clear verification. They would have liked to hear "I am ready to be intimate with you again." And that would have make them feel more secure in their choice.

And I really wanted to help them set that doubt aside.

For the game! As far as real life goes trust your instincts! If it's not a fk yeah in your field of comfort, it's a fk no.

I can't speak on if people are right or wrong for taking him back to the brothel. No blame, no shame, their game. And the lack of actual time pacing does make the game hard to track as far as where everything is in chronological time. But I would hope, that in real life, they are intuitive enough to know their partner wouldn't want that.

The brothel scene was very daja vu for me. I was SA victim. I say was because I am statements make me feel like I'm still that person. But iv evolved quite a bit since then. But that's a whole other convo. Anyway. I had the opportunity have a "group" experience. And I was interested. It was very much a "Oh, iv heard about this." And it was fine. Everybody was communicating and being super respectful, but at some point before the "penetrative" part of things started, I had checked out. Luckily my friend who was part of it caught it and removed me from the situation. I went from lots going on, to a couch in a quiet room. Everything in between blurred out. Which is why it is PARAMOUNT to be with those you trust in those first time situations. Anyway, it's not that it was a bad experience, it was just way too much for my nervous system. Lesson learned.

I am a very one on one elf. :)

[mintymarabell]

Rescued by the stars

A/n: in all honesty, I’ve never been good at writing slow burns and this is one of my firsts. I hope I didn’t make the names too cheesy. :)

Word count; 2,354

They always said that when you die, it all goes black. However, from her little spot to which she had crawled off, there was a hill. Her bloody trail led up to the hill where she lay on her stomach at the top. The morning sun was warm on Adelaine’s chilling skin. In the distance, she saw a beautiful white dove, but there was no clue how it got out to those parts of the world. Its beauty rivals even the sun's. Maybe she really was dying, and it was just a hallucination. Maybe it actually was a random dove out in the middle of the desert. Maybe…

Adelaine jolted awake at the roar of an engine, and her injuries ached at the sudden movement. Looking forward, she was met with big feet. She looked up, and her neck throbbed at the motion. There stood a man in silver armor. "Are you another hallucination?" Her voice came out hoarse as she rested her head on the sand below her.

"Quite the opposite, little ooman."

Before Adelaine could get another word in, the man had hoisted her up into his arms, carrying her as if she were a child. Her vision became blurry as the man walked into a vehicle of some sort, laying Adelaine down on a hospital bed to stick needles into her paling arms. "What are you doing?" she spoke with weariness.

"Saving your life." the man said.

Those were the last words Adelaine heard before the world around her went black.

Days had passed since she last saw the white dove in the desert. Adelaine had no memory of what happened after the random man had injected her with the needles, but now she found herself in a clean, sterile room. The beeping of machines and the feel of the softness of a hospital bed beneath her. Her head throbbed, and her body ached, but she was alive.

She looked around in confusion. Adelaine had just been on the sandy floor, and now she was in a bed with pillows littered around her. Groaning, she sat up, and heronce immobile joints popped at the motion. The room she sat in was purely white, and the lights above her head shone brightly, worsening her approaching headache. With hesitance, she took a hold of one of herIV's, slowly pulling them out of her vein. As she reached into her hospital gown to tear off the electrodes that stuck to her chest, the heart monitor flatlined, making a loud consistent blaring sound. In the distance, Adelaine could hear heavy footsteps hitting the floor. The door to the room slid open, revealing that same man who was now lacking his metallic mask. She screamed as she looked at his horrifyingly ugly face. It wasn't human; it had four mandibles and beady eyes. The thing jolted at Adelaine’s now conscious screaming state, and it took a moment before he slowly approached with his hands in the air.

"I'm not going to hurt you," the man tried to reason as he backed up to the headboard of the bed.

"Why do you look like that?" she asked.

The man gave her a blank stare, like she just told him a boring story. "Why do you look like that?" the man shot back as he perked up. With his hands on his hips, the alien scolded Adelaine, throwing her arms up in the air as the man approached. “Maybe don’t pull your IV’s out while I'm trying to keep you alive. My father would kill me if he found out I got you killed,” he spoke, mumbling the last part as his eyes widened slightly. Adelaine’s voice held curiosity as her brow raised. “Father?”

“Mhmm, my father. He’s been watching you for over a year, and when he saw you hurt in that desert, he made me come get you,” the alien said, taking the Adelaine’s arm in his hand to examine the bruising. “Is he here? How did he know I was hurt? Why is he watching me?” The alien sighed as he walked over to a counter to pull a cream out of the cabinet above it. “He isn’t here; he's on the mothership. The only reason he knew you were hurt was that he has other people watching you. He just trusted me enough not to hurt you, seeing as I’m the only oomanologist on the ship,” he spoke as he walked back to her, opening the container and putting some cream on his finger before spreading it on the Adelaine’s arm.

She was in disbelief, a mothership? Did that mean they were on a ship? In the middle of space? And what was an oomanologist? “You most likely want to shower, yes?” Snapping out of her trance, Adelaine looked toward the alien, who was at the end of the bed. She nodded, swinging her feet off the bed and shifting till she was at the edge. Hopping off of the bed, her legs almost buckled at the unexpected height.

The alien guy sighed as he motioned for Adelaine to follow him. He took her out of the room, through the halls. One of the walls was made of glass, the black space meeting her gaze. She couldn’t believe it; she really was out in the middle of nowhere. “We should be only an hour away now,” the alien's voice echoed through the gray ship walls. Adelaine said nothing, choosing to stare off into the window as she walked.

They arrived in a room, and the door slid open to reveal a modern bathroom. The alien rummaged through a closet-type nook that sat in the corner near the door, handing over two towels, shampoo, and conditioner. He then shut the door, leaving Adelaine alone with nothing but her thoughts and some random buzzing.

Adelaine hated the silence, always had. Memories of being trapped in a dark room while being tied to a chair flooded her mind, and she could still remember the burn of the ropes around her wrists. That was years ago, back when she was fresh out of high school and had nothing better to do than sign her life away.

Beat for information. Information she didn’t have. Adelaine shivered at the thought, walking over to the showers and throwing the towel down, setting the shampoo and conditioner on the floor. She slightly fiddled with the buttons on the wall under the showerhead, pressing one that was just a few lines turned the water on, steam rising to the air, and the beginning of fog crept onto the mirror. She relieved herself of the hospital gown, letting it gather at her ankles.

As she stepped into the shower, she sighed, the hot water soothing the ache in her back and the crick in her neck. She had needed this, been needing this for a long time. She took the time to look down at her stitched up stomach, she hissed as the water finally hit the inflamed area.

She was not sure how much time passed but what Adelaine did know was that she was in the middle of nowhere basically. She hurried up with her business, scrubbing at her scalp to rid it of the last remains of the conditioner. Adelaine eswiped the towel from the toilet lid, wrapping her hair up in it. She pushed on of the buttons. The water didn’t turn off, instead gaining pressure. She jumped slightly at the change, frantically pressing at the buttons to get it to turn off to which it finally did.

As she dried herself off she looked around. What had he expected her to wear? He had given her no clothes.. Adelaine sat back down on the toilet, wrapped in nothing but a towel as she looked around. Would he even hear if she poked her head out the door and called for him? Knowing nothing else she got up and walked to the door, it slid open with haste revealing a pair of clothes neatly folded on the ground.

Adelaine looked around, bending over to get the clothes she hurried back inside the bathroom.

After scurrying to put the clothes on she stepped out of the bathroom, the sound of her feet echoed as she walked down the hallway looking for the man. The hallways were grey, the ceiling high with strong white lights that were almost designed to give people headaches. The hall was aligned with 4 doors, Adelaine found her peeking her head in each one. A kitchen, living space, and spar room. She stood at the last door, at the end of the hall, as she stepped closer it slid open to reveal a cockpit.

There in the chair sat the same man Adelaine had come accustomed to.

“We are just ten minutes away from yautja prime.” He spun in his chair to face her, Adelaine’s brows furrowed at the information. “Yautja prime?” He sighed as he pulled up a chair. “Take a seat.”

As she sat down in the chair beside him, now that Adelaine wasn’t drowsy she could finally take in the appearance of the behemoth in front of her. He was beautiful in color to say the least, he was a dark maroon like red with splotches of brown up his stomach that ended at his chest. His palms were a lighter maroon. He had multiple charms and such in his dread like hair and his eyes were a beautiful dark green. Adelaine quickly snapped out of it as the man began to talk.

From there he went on to explain what yautja prime was and who it housed. He had spoken about yautja being creatures of honor who hunted and strived to find a ‘worthy prey’.

After his whole spiel was over Adelaine was almost awestruck. It was so much to take in. As if he heard her thoughts he spun toward the control panel, “we have arrived.” Her head turned toward the glass wall that gave a beautiful view of a reddish orange like planet.

The yautja spoke something in his language as the ship ascended into the planet's clouds, there was minor turbulence as the ship shaked slightly before leveling itself out again. The ship was flown to an airport like place similar to earth. As it landed inside of a hefty hanger Adelaine stood up, the yautja also stood as he walked off after flipping a bunch of switches that likely turned the engines off. “Let's go, I will take you to the place you’ll be staying.” Adelaine hummed in response as she followed behind. “What is this guy's name?” She asked as she finally caught up to him, his strides long and swift. “Van’tall, my own name is Kher’k.” He spoke as he surveyed their surroundings for what seemed to be the fourth time. Adelaine sighed as he walked faster, the new names she was dealt were formed on her tongue trying to get used to the pronunciation.

They had walked for what seemed like forever, weaving in and out of crowds and ducking through alleyways to get around traffic. By the time we had stopped the soles of her feet were practically barking. They had arrived at the gates of a large house. The yautja stopped to punch in a code, Adelaine chose to rest against the very tall black metal fence as the gates swung open with a graceful like pace. She stood from her spot and walked with the yautja up the driveway.

“This is my fathers home, he isn’t here right now but he will be in a few weeks. You will be staying here.” He paused as he put another code into the door, pushing it open. The door was huge, easily towering over her form. “You can make yourself at home, in one of the bedrooms are clothes. They should be your size or at least a little bigger.” She stopped, “was he planning on me coming here or something?” the yautja stepped back outside of the door. “Yes, but moving on. There’s plenty of food in the kitchen and servants come by to clean. If you need anything there is a phone in the living room, ok bye.” He talked fast, slamming the door shut as soon as he was done. Adelaine stood there dumbfounded. What was she supposed to do? She hadn't even met the guy and yet she was staying in his home.

The house itself was beautiful, the front door opened up to two big staircases and a some sort of skeleton in the middle. The walls were all decorated with pictures or paintings of different animals. Adelaine had no clue what to do as she walked around the house, there were many rooms. All doors were just as tall as the front and extremely heavy. She had to push all of her body weight into them just to get them open.

Adelaine walked into the kitchen which was big, marble countertops with white tiled floors. There was a big skull on the counter, likely a centerpiece. As she opened the fridge she was met with an array of different meats and fruits. She picked one of the fruits up, one that resembled a grape from earth. As Adelaine popped it into her mouth the taste was quite different from regular grapes, almost more exotic tasting. She hummed, walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

Each room was different, there were only two bedrooms. Both bedrooms were identical with the same coloring and appliances, Adelaine claimed one of the bedrooms all but collapsing on the bed. This was kinda nice.

[twipsai]

heyoo! just wanted to say love your rewrite comic of sonic forces!! tis very cool :)

if you don't mind me asking, is anything else going on in this rewrite which you could let us know about? or tis a secret?

ok first of all this ask, the two reblogs you added tags to, and the comment you left literally made me wanna write so much more for this rewrite you have no idea. genuinely such a large motivation burst TYSMMMM

SECOND OF ALL! this rewrite is kind of vague rn, i have an idea for a four or five chapter fic that takes place in the month gap between forces and idw, but (glances at my 2/3rds finished wip thats 32k words rotting in my gdocs) well. im trying to finish something else for the time being, so i have no idea when thats gonna happen

in terms of actually rewriting forces itself, i have quite a few ideas for it but not a lot of concrete things written down -- my main problem with the game, especially after fully playing it (5 hours of my life fucking WASTED), is that it is simultaneously such a serious story, but doesnt take itself seriously in the slightest -- you have, on one hand, Sonic being tortured for six months in a tiny prison cell, but on the other, you have Sonic walking out of there completely fine and it's never acknowledged again. you have, on one hand, two teenagers leading a resistance in a war, but on the other, you have those two teenagers acting bland and uninteresting the entire time. theres so much that could have been done with this story, but instead of grabbing hold of that spark, the writers, instead, decided to write something bland, boring, and worst of all, disingenuous. this is worse than writing something thats bad, in my opinion.

my rewrite takes a lot of notes from my buddy Chip's rewrite called Reinforced (which theyve only really posted about on artfight here), so much so that sometimes i talk about them interchangeably lol, one of the biggest changes in the story is that Tails and Rouge work together. also Infinite is a much bigger threat, specifically to Sonic, and his death is much more intense

this might sound like a deranged thing to say but ive been tossing around in my head what i want Sonic to go through during his time in the death egg, whether i want it to be a white room torture sort of deal, or if i wanna torment him with visions (illusions), so ive sorta been trying to figure out in exactly what way hes fucked up LMAO

additionally, like most other people, im cutting the avatar and Classic Sonic from the script -- theres something to be said about Sonic going through something that fundamentally changes both him and the world, and fighting that threat along side his younger self, but the source material isnt interested in exploring that, so im not either (i actually am, but not in this rewrite,,,, not in this rewrite.) and im cutting the avatar from this in favor of bringing Tails back into the story beyond him being scared and smart for like 10 minutes of the total runtime and then saying "true dat" at the end. i mean cmon!! he watched his big brother presumably die right in front of him! the unbreakable bond, well, broke! thats fucking important! Frontiers and IDW explored this, and i want to as well. its very interesting to me. and he should have been playable. i will die on this hill

also, Sonic doesnt get rescued at the start of the story, it happens wayyy later into the story (right before the climax probably). i hated how they found him practically two seconds after they lost him

a lot of this may be influenced by Sonic Forces Overclocked, which i have plans to play (once i have. free time), since ive heard a lot of good things about it and am very interested in the story it has to tell.

"wheres shadow" idk :( probably brooding in a cave i havent thought that far ahead

[the-kipsabian]

Kip Sabian.

Please go off.

anon i respect you so much for this but i hope you know what you have just done LMAO

tl;dr - hes absolutely perfect in every way possible. love of my life

hes just.. so innovative. his character work is absolutely fucking masterful, no matter which one it is. all of them are so delightfully different from one another but you can still see the same man behind all of them and thats just talking about the range of the character work and the clear work and effort he puts into everything he does, be it just the characters themselves, the promos, in-ring work, anything. he always goes all out, hes creative as hell with them (name me one other person that gets over with a box on their head i dare you) and it truly shows how loving and passionate he is about this whole wrestling thing and that he just absolutely gets it. also he just has fun with it and it shows. anything from cocky indie superbad to coward best husband superbad to boxman to whatever the cringe failure era was lmao and now the sex idol. he just does it all and he does it flawlessly and i will throw hands with tk if he doesnt capitalize on this man soon i sWEAR TO GODDAMN

his in-ring work is incredibly good. watch literally any sequence hes ever had with orange cassidy and you see what i mean. hes improved from that too (since the last one of those was a quite long while ago now), he can hang with pretty much anyone. i like it the way he says it himself, he can literally make anyone look good and no one has ever complained about having to work with him in the ring. which says a lot about how good and talented he is imo. he can do it all, be it more grounded moves or recently hes been doing a lot more jumps and top rope moves which! exciting!! cause it just adds to his arsenal and shows off that flexibility even more and its just so insanely good. like fuck man if you can get someone who can hang one-on-one with someone like vikingo like he did a few weeks back, thats a fucking keeper. dont you dare forget that

im not gonna take this moment to talk about his promo stuff cause i will literally be here forever. watch this and get back to me later about why im right that hes incredible at this shit with the tone and again character work and just overall presentation. even if its now a bit more comedic with the sex idol, its still an absolute delight. also i could listen to him talk forever, he has my favorite voice in the entire world and his accent is delicious and good fucking lord

PRESENTATION. hes just really fucking hot okay. i thought he was cute before but my god. the hair, no matter the version, on point. the eyeliner, gorgeous. nail polish, good lord (he needs to bring it back tbh its been a while). the outfits, holy shit i cant say words. i have done an extensive gear study to show how truly insane he makes me about his looks, not to mention the goddamn casual fits/suit game. jesus take the wheel. his smile is fucking out of his world and the laugh lines he gets are maybe my favorite feature on any human ever. hes fucking delicious and what of it

also arms. i dont think i need to say anything more i have also turned into a back admirer girlie (gn) because of him so like. uuuuuh

AND THEN. hes just a fucking delightful human being in general. is he stupid and cringey? yes, but arent we all. it just shows how human he is. just like us. ive so many times wondered how if we lived on slightly different timelines, we might have genuinely been friends cause he reminds me so much of guys of the same age that i know and im friends with. like we would have meshed pretty well together if circumstances were different lmao. that just shows me how genuine he is tbh. hes just fucking nice, hes very supportive, tries his best to be a good ally (i have both seen this and have first hand experience on it so dont @ me saying im wrong or its performative, i have way too many cases to prove that hes fr fr) and.. yeah. ive never heard anyone that actually knows him say anything bad about him. he has his flaws, obviously, cause nobodys perfect, but he makes up for it with what ridiculously good he has in him. this is a man with so much potential and love to give to the world both in his personal and professional lives and hes just needs his chance to shine so fucking badly, in all areas of life

im gonna stop now before i get too emotional but. yeah. he means fucking everything to me 💜💜

[alyxdoeswrite]

High times|| John "Soap" MacTavish x reader

Warnings: Illusions to sex, drug use (weed), my horrible knowledge on the military,swearing, not proof read A/N: happy (late) 420!this is the first time ive wrote since like 2019 so sorry if its ass. might write a part 2 to this!

Word count:1.9k

!!GIF is not mine!!

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It was a late night on base, and while everyone was sleeping, you decided tonight was the perfect time to light up. you had just gotten back to base after a particularly difficult mission and decided it would be the best way to relax. after missions 141 would usually head to a local pub and knock back some beers to relax and unwind after working their ass off. you were never really a drinker. you would have a drink here and there but never quite liked getting drunk. you preferred smoking. you were an experienced smoker. In high school, you were the classic stoner, had even sold a little bit back in those days. you knew every trick in the book and used them all now to not get caught. your smoking days didn't end once you joined the military. it was normal for you to sneak out to go smoke real quick. you stuck with joints for easy access and they were easier to sneak but now and then you would smoke out of a piece, most of the time it was your beloved bong. it wasn't often you smoke in your room out of the bong, it was saved for special occasions. tonight was one of those special nights. you had spent all day trying to catch up on all the sleep you had lost on the past mission, only waking up to go get dinner and then coming back to take a nap. 11:30 shined on the alarm clock, one of your only sources of light. the only other source of light was the moon shining in through your open window. you locked your door and put a towel at the bottom to block the smoke and turn on the fan while walking to the chair you pulled up to the window. the quiet cool breeze blowing through, making your room slightly chilly. you sit in your pajamas taking one good look at the moon before you started to pack a bowl. this was the most relaxed you had felt in months, nothing made you quite as happy as smoking on a quiet summer night, it was therapeutic. you grab your lighter and take the first hit, holding it in for a couple of seconds before leaning out the window and exhaling. these were the most relaxing nights. you take a couple more hits before sitting there for a moment peacefully, enjoying this refreshing night. that was until you heard a knock on your door. you quickly panic, throwing your bong in your closet and reaching for the nearest can of air freshener. another knock this time followed by a familiar Scottish accent “You in there lass?” soap asked. you sigh in relief and go to open the door. “you scared the fuck outta me soap, I thought you were someone else.” you chuckled, tucking the towel back under the door after you closed it. “You've been smoking with other people besides me lass? I see how it is” Soap fake pouted while making himself comfortable on your bed. soap was the only other person on base you smoked with. He would sometimes join you in your parking lot smoke seshes. he was also your classic high school stoner but had cut back when he joined the military, but still would partake here and there, you being his main smoke buddy. “I thought you were price for a moment and I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes,” you say, walking to where you threw your bong in a moment of panic. luckily for you, nothing broke or spilled. you grab the piece and put it in your chair to pull another chair up for soap. you finally grab the bong and sit for a moment, letting out another sigh of relief. “price had a little bit too much to drink at the pub tonight, I doubt he’d even be able to walk down here right now without busting his arse” soap chuckled. You chuckled as well, handing soap the bong and your lighter. You watched how the moonlight illuminated his eyes. You’d be lying if you said you didn't have a thing for soap. He was the one who welcomed you the most when you first joined 141 and was probably the one you were the closest with. You’d also be lying if you said you both weren't flirty with each other, especially while you were under the influence. Flirty little remarks and shared glances were usually all it was but there were a couple of shared kisses and even a messy high makeout session that had happened between you two. A part of you hoped tonight would end similarly. You watched Soap as he took a hit, god that man looked heavenly in the moonlight. The way the moon reflected in his eyes was one of the most beautiful things you had ever seen. He was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. You swore you fell more in love with him at that moment, watching him as he blew the smoke from his lungs out the window and sat back with a sigh. “You got some good stuff, Bonnie, I'm already starting to feel it” he smiled at you, handing you the bong back. “only the best for you handsome,” you said, smirking at him before taking another hit yourself. The bong was passed back and forth a couple more times before you had to pack another bowl. “Wanna do the honors Johnny?” you ask him, handing him the bowl and your grinder. “Don't mind if I do” He took the items out of your hand and set them on your desk to get to work. You watched him as he did his magic, he somehow always managed to pack his bowls better than yours. “your so handsome when you pack my bowls for me Johnny” you flirted. “I think you just like making me do all the work lass” he laughed. “you also got a handsome laugh,” you said to him and he handed you the freshly packed bong back. “you take the first hit Johnny, you're the one who packed it” “well don't mind if I do.” One more bowl later and you guys were stoned out of your minds. “that’s probably the best weed I've smoked in ages y/n, where the hell did you get it” Johnny asked while looking up at you “I usually don't spill all my secrets but your just to damn cute for me to deny you that information” and you told him how you had gotten the chance to stock up on the good stuff last time you hit the dispensary. “you wanna go watch a movie bonnie?” soap had asked, looking at you with puppy dog eyes. “how could I say no to that pretty face of yours” you said as he offered to help you up. after you both had crawled into your bed and got comfy you decided to find something to watch. you clicked through all the streaming services you had but couldn't seem to find a movie y’all had wanted to watch. you dramatically sigh and click out of another streaming service “It's like every funny movie has been wiped off the planet or something.” you sigh, dropping the remote signifying you had given up on the movie search. “I know something else we can do,” Johnny said, and you knew by the smirk he wore on his face he was up to no good. “and what would that be handsome,” you asked and before you knew it he was crawling on top of you. he then embraced you in a kiss, to which you grab his face and return the kiss. you run your hands up to tug on his mohawk as he deepened the kiss. He slowly pushed you down on your bed, now laying on top of you. He sits up momentarily to slowly take his shirt off, teasing you.“I quite like this idea Johnny” You smile at him and give him a peck. “I want to take this further Bonnie,” Johnny says, avoiding your eyes as a light shade of pink dusted his cheeks. “Like what?” you asked playing innocent. “Let me show you?” you could only nod yes as he smiled brightly at you before kissing you again. This time the kiss moved down to your jaw until his mouth made your neck its home, sucking at nipping at your neck. Leaving hickies and kissing them to soothe them after. Your hand found its way back to his hair, slightly tugging at his hair when he would nip at your neck, causing you to let out a small moan. One of his hands found its way to your stomach, slipping under your shirt and roaming your torso. The other one stayed on your jaw, pulling you further into the kiss. You were so into the moment that you almost didn’t hear the knock at your door. You and Soap both shoot up and stare at the door before another knock rings through the door, “y/n don't make break the door down” a slightly aggravated ghost said through the door. You curse at yourself quietly “Just a minute” you yell towards the door, grabbing your stuff and throwing it in the closet. As you turn around you see another thing you have to hide, Soap. You bring a finger to your mouth signaling to him to stay quiet before you grab him and shove him in your closet and close the door behind him. You collect yourself for a second before opening the door. Ghost stood there wearing sweats and a T-shirt that showed off his muscles perfectly. “Sorry, I was naked,” you say, instantly regretting the excuse you made. “Price sent me to investigate a suspicious smell coming from your room.” Ghost said. Slightly pushing you aside to go into your room. You sit in the doorway watching Ghost search through your room, making sure to check every nook and cranny. You prayed to whatever holy thing you could as Ghost made his way to the closet. You don't know what would be worse, him finding the weed or one of his sergeants shirtless in your closet. You hoped the half-naked scot would distract your lieutenant from the weed. Ghost arrives in front of the closet, staring at it for a second before looking at you as he opened the door. He looks over to realize he is face to face with soap. You just sat there mortified. “Smoking and fucking other teammates y/n? You’re fucking asking to get in trouble.” You cant reply as you just stare at your lieutenant. “Price wants you in his office first thing tomorrow morning, and for you,” he said looking at the soap, “get your clothes back on and get to your room,” he said to soap. Soap quickly grabbed his shirt and scurried out of your room, not wanting to do anything to aggravate ghost anymore. “I'll let you keep your stuff, but you gotta let me join in” you hear ghost say from behind you. You turn around again and instantly take him up on his offer. “Just don't be so sloppy next time y/n, if you're gonna break the rules don't do it all at once.’ He patted your shoulder before squeezing by you to walk back to his room, leaving you to stand in your doorway still slightly in shock.

[richmond-rex]

Hi! This is a kinda random question, but I'm getting a little confused about the various contemporary and most contemporary chroniclers of the Wars of the Roses so I figured I should ask.

I know the basic gist and background of Crowland, Mancini and Vergil's accounts, but I'm a very confused with Thomas More and Edward Hall. When exactly were their accounts written and published respectively? And was there an overlap between them - I remember reading somewhere that Hall borrowed quite a bit from More's account when writing about what happened before Henry VII's ascension, particularly for Edward IV and Richard III's reigns. I think some sentences are pretty much word-for-word the same. But I read this a while ago so I may he mistaken.

And did Grafton publish his own Chronicle, or did he compile and print other historians' chronicles?

ALSO (sorry) do we know when the Hearne's Fragement was originally written? I was reading "Later Plantagenet and Wars of the Roses Consorts" and Joanna Laynesmith, when writing about he excerpt pertaining to Edward and Elizabeth's marriage, writes that it was written "decades later" by "a servant of thr Howard family who had been are court in the late 1460s". Is that the generally accepted consensus?

again, sorry if this seems super random

Hi! Sorry for taking so long to reply. Thomas More never wrote a whole account of the Wars of the Roses, focusing instead on Richard III (his work is called, after all, History of King Richard III). He began writing in the early 1510s but his manuscript was never finished and was printed incomplete only in 1543. More had served in Bishop Morton's household so he had access to witnesses that had lived through Richard's reign, but even then, his account is very much not a chronicle in the same sense that Croyland's, The Great London's, Fabyan's, etc, were. More wrote a commentary on tyranny, and it's likely that he meant it as a kind of manual, a warning against the negative example of a bad prince in the mould of certain classical writers (the account's structure is borrowed from Tacitus and the style inspired by Suetonius).

Edward Hall began writing his "The Union of the Two Noble and Illustre Families of Lancastre and Yorke" during Henry VIII's reign but it was only published in 1548, a year after Hall's own death. From what I've read, Hall borrowed both from Vergil's account and More's. Even then, according to Charles Ross, 'Hall is acknowledged to have information on the battles of this period not found elsewhere'. Richard Grafton in turn was actually the one who published Edward Hall's chronicle. As far as I know, Grafton was primarily a printer so he published and compiled other people's works.

The information about Hearne's Fragment being written decades later after the events that he narrates is given by the author himself. He refers to Thomas Howard as Lord Treasurer so his account could only have been written between 1500 and 1522, the period when the Duke of Norfolk held that office. It's generally accepted that if he wasn't a servant of the Howard family at that time, he must have been residing with them in the period that he wrote his chronicle. The author himself says that he had been a servant of Edward IV:

My purpose is, and shall be, to write and shew those and such things, the which I have heard of his [Edward IV's] own mouth. And also in part of such things, in the which I have been personally present, as well within the realm as without, during a certain space, most especially from the year of our Lord 1468 unto the year of our Lord 1482, in the which the forenamed King Edward departed from this present life. And in witness whereof the Right Illustrious Thomas, Duke of Norfolk, Treasurer of England, as most personally present [for the most part of his flourishing age] in the house of the said right noble prince continually conversant, can more clearly certify the truth of such acts and things, notable of memory, the which fell in his time.

It's such a shame only a fragment of this account survives! The surviving fragment goes only so far as September 1470.

Hopefully, this belated answer can help you. Again, sorry for taking so long to reply! 🌹x

[charlieirons]

My Secret Horror

It was a nice South Bay October in 1991. At least I had to take their word for it.

Early that morning, about two weeks before Halloween, I entered what was then Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Gatos, Ca and was prepped for surgery. All of this I can remember was laying in a pre-op room watching an episode of The Jetsons, waiting a sedative to begin to take effect.

That was the morning; big and blue with those fluffy white clouds like waves across the sky. There were two moments going into the operating theatre. The first was a small baby crying as it was also being prepped for a go. Well, at least I remember it being definitely under two. In a mush-mouthed mess I tried to console the kid until I was encouraged to go back to sleep.

The second was a single moment when I came to for a blink as they moved me off the gurney and onto the operating table. Straps were being laid across me and I thought to myself; “That’s a good idea, I may jump when they cut me.”

Tears are the next thing I remember as I started to come out from the anesthesia. It was a crowded elevator and a couple family members were not handling my situation well.

I was aware I had been out for several hours, which the sunset out my window confirmed. And I am wholly truthsome when I tell you that, to this day, that was the most amazing sunset I have ever seen. I still hold sunsets sacred.

The operation was… visceral. I was, for all intents and purposes, spilt open down the middle, pried open, had my spleen removed, lost several lymph nodes off my spine, had my liver biopsied, and had several other samples taken from me in order to ascertain if the cancer had spread anywhere. Then everything was sewn back up.

Through my dulled senses I was quite aware of the damage. My liver would later let me know how angry it was when I vomited bile. And finding out your liver is one of at least three organ systems that can vomit is very interesting at seventeen. In fact, it would be several weeks before I would be able to stand upright or do much else.

But the next three days would be… a trial. And it started the first night I woke up completely to the burning pain; even through the piles of morphine they insisted shooting me up with. The hallucinations were bad enough, but what was really rough was not being able to ignore my senses, which were already a little more hyperactive than most people’s. (I’ve come to find out, much later in life, that I have Autism.)

This became an absolute nightmare because kiddie corner from my room in pediatrics was the newborn nursery. And the babies in there didn’t just cry, they screamed. They screamed relentlessly day and night. They’d scream until they passed out and then would wake up and scream some more. And this happened in waves, so even if there was any peace it was short lived.

As a nurse would tell me, they had babies born in special need; born either with AIDS or addicted to crack. Keep in mind, this was still the very early 1990s, where this was still a common thing. A common, tragic thing.

For three days, the entire time I was there recovering, they did nothing but scream. Day and night. And because of the nature of my surgery they couldn’t shut my door. So, they screamed. And I heard it. Every minute. And unable to shut it out. (My senses were so out of control that I had to have them warp my IV machine in towels because it ticked, and that ticking was like a bass drum to me.)

During that second night it was so bad I needed nurses to sit with me and hold my hand so I knew I was… no, so I could feel I was still alive and I was going to get out of this. Me, at seventeen; all black wearing bad assed, dark proto-Goth teenager and high school sophomore. (Hey, I was a very angry, troubled kid from an extremely broken home.)

I have heard a lot of very bad things in my time in the waking world. And I mean some bad stuff. But I have never heard anything as horrific as a baby in agony screaming. The sheer amount of absolute pain a baby goes through – which is their entire world at that point – is unfathomable. I don’t care how tough you are, or you think you may be; you do not know pain like that, I’m pretty sure.

And it wasn’t just a baby, it was several babies. I never knew if it was all of them, most of them, or just some of them that were triggering others because they couldn’t stop, but that’s neither here nor there to the fact of it; they screamed. They couldn’t stop.

And to this day they haven’t.

In my most quietest moments, when I am lost in nothing particular, I can still hear them. I hear them when I see any baby cry for any reason. I hear them when I see people suffer. I hear them when people hurt. And I hear them when I see the evil others inflict on each other.

I hear them right now as I type this.

I don’t care how tough or how much a bad ass you pretend to be. You sit in a room, unable to drown it out, and listen to the suffering of newborns – easiestly the most innocent of people – and you see if it doesn’t affect you. Because let me tell you, it will. And it will never stop. And if doesn’t then you certainly have no soul to which command.

I have strayed many times from a better path. Every time I do there they are; screams of the truly innocent suffering from the acts of others, of the situations astronomically not of their own making. And even when I get my hands back to righteousness there they still are, in pain, screaming for relief.

My scars run deep from my battles. I bare them even now. But none so deep as this. And this has been my secret horror for three decades. This is why I will gladly tear myself to shreds to help others. Because I have been witness to suffering. True suffering. Suffering on a scale you could probably not imagine.

And I will let no one suffer if I can help it; if even just a little.

[dragonboots]

Hello again, Hellsite.

Admittedly, i found this helpful before. Theres a different feeling, sharing my thoughts online knowing that there is even the slightest chance someone might read them, to the feeling of writing in a notes app and then forgetting it all completely. Part of me thinks i should be scared of the idea that anyone could find these little scribbles of my mind, but im oddly thrilled when i think that maybe someone could find this and feel just the same, and in turn see that they arent alone.

Today is a weird one. It feels like so many things are so very wrong that my mouth is sealed shut because it wouldnt know how to even start explaining everything. I find i feel like this alot.

Alot of the time, also, i might see posts similair to this and my brain always tends to conjure this image of someone lonely, whos problems are all in their head where they cannot escape. But thats never really it is it? Personally, id like to think i know a decent amount of people, quite a few i like and quite a few i despise. But its those people that make my problems feel like a drowning weight, because i feel i am trapped between them. Because i am not the one in control, i am the furthest possible from that. And i know that has always been one of the scariest fucking things for me.

Moreover, im in the middle of an oxymoron wrapped in a paradox. First of all im never middling. Im always high energy, blissfully ignorant, or low energy which comes with drowsy carelessness or tired yet violent anger. Second of all, i have been scared of a change all my life. This is an obvious fact to any and all who know me (often because i tell them, because i have a bad habit of oversharing occasionally. Im getting better at reigning that in.). However, recently a fear of all change in and of itself has evolved into a want for change, but only small changes that i can control. I feel as if my world would crumble if it shifted, but the constant weight its currently under is no better. Better the devil you know, i suppose, but that devil has me bored, and scared of a future it tells me is ahead yet i never feel approaching.

I dont intend to sound like a writer or poet with some of the fancy shit ive typed here. I intend to think, to write, and to try and put my thoughts into words as best i can, despite how much it feels like trying to catch a cloud. While writing this i realised just why it helps me so much to put this down (ive typed the word write so much it looks and sounds wrong now). I think it makes it easier to when you know someone might see it, or when it feels like im talking to someone rather than just jotting down rambling thoughts, because it forces me to think about how to properly structure my sentence, how to make it make a little more sense, but still keep the irrationality of my own human thoughts.

All this just to say, ive felt a little in pain, and a little like ive been sinking all day. This has lifted a weight of me, and if someone sees it i recommend you write too, if thats what youre into. Just get your thoughts out. Its a basic lesson weve all heard repeated a million times, but we never really remember. Dont keep the scary crap inside. As awful as it sounds, it helps to think someone out there might be scared with you.

[ghostsmybeloved]

Fond Memories

Papa Emeritus IV (Copia) x Reader

Summary: Papa had no idea who you were, or how you came to suddenly be such an important thing in his life. He wasn't complaining though.

Words: 3.2k

Copia held his head down as he rushed through the Abbey towards the abandoned wing, tears threatening to fall as he could hear members of the Higher Clergy call out behind him. The Papa didn’t care though, he needed to escape away from his Papal duties.

As he entered the abandoned wing, the atmosphere almost immediately changed. He could hear scampering of nonexistent creatures, the wind whistling past him as he continued on his journey. Copia figured it was just his paranoia, his anxiety as the Papa ignored the feel of eyes on his back.

The Papa grew closer to the old practice rooms, used by Papa Nihil when the Ghost Project was first founded. The wing had been abandoned when Nihil tried to turn away from the spotlight of the stage. Copia had heard stories about the wing growing up, but none of them suddenly came to his mind as he continued his trek.

Slowly, faint singing reached his ears as he stopped. If his Ghouls were here, he’d deny that he was nervous, scared even, but in his moment of isolation, Copia thought of turning around. As the Papa remained still, he could slowly hear the lyrics more clearly.

As if his body moves on its own, Copia found himself following the sing as he came upon one of the practice rooms. Silently opening the door, he found himself in the presence of you, who hadn’t quite noticed the Papa.

Your singing of Life Eternal had both your and the Papa’s attention, sitting on the piano bench as your fingers grazed above the old piano. You weren’t playing it, your fingers barely above the keys as you sang. Copia started swaying to the song, smiling softly as he felt his worries from earlier slip away like they were swept up by the ocean.

“Can you feel me longing for you forever and ever?” you finished, opening your eyes to feel the mismatched eyes on your body, making you tense up and turn around. Copia jumped at your turn, clearing his throat.

“Ah so sorry for interrupting! I just- uh- heard your voce incantevole!” Copia stuttered, making you giggle as he cleared his throat again, “You are a- uh- beautiful- I mean great- singer…yeah.”

Your smile held even though your giggling stopped, “Well I am glad you enjoyed it Papa. It is one of my favorite songs from the Ghost Project. Your singing is so much better than mine, but I am honored that you praise me.”

“I am Papa- Copia, I mean. Per favore, chiamami Copia.”

“Well what brings you to my wing Copia?” You scoot over on your bench, offering the Papa to sit down with a bright smile on your face. Who is he to deny your offer?

Striding to the stage, he quickly gets up and sits down on the bench next to you as you both face the piano keys. Your fingers dance above the keys once again, like you were teasing both him and the piano of a performance.

Copia takes a deep breath as he begins to spill his Papal secrets, “Mi nascondo. The meeting with the Higher Clergy today did not go as planned, they doubt my abilities. They want me to be like my brothers before, while being nothing like them.”

Finally, your fingers grace the piano keys as you started performing a piece Copia had never heard before as you spoke, “Do not listen to them. The differences between Primo, Secondo, and Terzo is what made them shine so bright when they stood on those stages.”

The Papa does not reply, listening to the old piano as he closes his eyes. The piano was withered by age, yet despite the disoriented sound that was hidden underneath the music, it was still beautiful. It reminded him of one of the Ghoul’s lullabies, making Copia quietly hum along to the keys.

You two stayed sitting as you performed while he hummed. Copia had no idea how long time had passed, he didn’t care much, until your piece ended. Before the Papa could praise or ask for another, you took his hands and guided him back to the abandoned commons.

“What-”

“Papa! There you are!”

Copia quickly turned around at the mention of his title, seeing Aether rush over to him. The Ghoul looked exhausted, like had overused his Quintessence energy again. Though, he still was filled with joy to find the Papa.

“My Ghoul! Aether, this is-”

As he turned around, the Papa didn't see you behind him anymore, like you snuck away. Seeing this, Copia’s words died on his tongue as he looked between Aether and where you were standing.

"Are you alright Papa?" Aether asked, putting his claw on Copia's shoulder, making him look at the Ghoul, "Are you seeing things?"

"No, no, no. Giuro, qualcuno è stato qui!"

Aether looked at the Papa concerned, before nodding, "You can tell us all about this mystery person back in the Den, okay?"

"..okay."

* * *

Copia was restless in his seat, desperate to be free of another meeting with Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil. She was scolding him for rushing out of yesterday's meeting, but her words never reached the Papa's ears. He wanted to rush back to the abandoned wing to see if you were there again.

"Are you even listening?!" Sister Imperator growled, making Copia snap to look at her. She had a scowl on her face when he looked at her.

"Of course I am, Sorella. I am just tired."

It wasn’t a complete lie. He was tired, he hadn’t gotten much sleep because he couldn’t get you out of his head, your singing of his song and your performance on the old piano. You felt so familiar to the Papa, but he couldn’t understand why.

Papa Nihil went to say something, but Sister Imperator quickly glared at him, making him shut up with a quiet apology. She turned her attention back to Copia with a fake smile, her eyes glaring daggers. If the Papa wasn't so distracted by the thought of you, he might've been intimidated by her.

Sister Imperator rose out of her seat quietly, striding over to Copia's desk, "How about you get some rest, C? Your assistant can do the rest of your work today."

The Papa sighed quietly, nodding as Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil left the room arguing about something. Copia didn’t really care what they were arguing about, he cared that this was the perfect time to escape and try to find you again.

As he listened to the faint footsteps get fainter, Copia took this as his time to escape as he slipped out of his office and down towards the abandoned wing. Unlike yesterday, his anxiety and sorrow was replaced with excitement and a fluttery sense.

Creeping behind the wing’s large doors, he smiled brightly as he almost ran down the hallway. The small footsteps of creatures and the wind whistling didn’t bother the Papa today, he was too focused on seeing you again. You were like his most sinful dream, a gift from Lord Lucifer himself.

Copia entered the abandoned commons to see you sitting on the floor, noticing that the couches were far too dusty for anyone to sit on. In your hand was a book he was all too familiar with, it was an ancient Latin book that only the most knowable Clergy could read.

“Hello…” Copia squeaked out, mentally slapping himself for the sudden nervousness around you. Hearing his voice, you turned around with a big smile on your face, “Ci scusiamo per l'intrusione.”

“Oh no Papa, it’s no intrusion. Between us, I shouldn’t even be here, but I tend to get quite lost,” you chuckled, patting the spot next to you as another offer to the Papa, “Come, sit. I knew you’d be back.”

“You did?”

You made a quiet noise in response, nodding your head as he walked over to sit next to you. Once Copia was seated, you moved the book to rest on your legs to share it with the Papa next to you. It was senseless gibberish to him, but you looked like you understood it all.

The two of you made eye contact, making Copia blush and quickly look down at the book, “You.. uh… understand this book?”

“Ah yes. My father taught me when I was young. He told me it was going to be a great skill.”

“Your father? Is he a part of our church?”

You hesitated, opening your mouth to speak as you took a couple of seconds before answering, “No. My father… does not agree with my choices.”

“E tua madre?” Copia is quick to ask. A little too quick which makes him quickly speak again, “Sorry, nothing bad! I am just curious!”

You giggled again with a bright smile on your face as he stuttered over his words again. He felt like such a fool in front of you, but hearing your laugh was worth it. It warmed the Papa more than the deepest pit of Hell could.

“I never knew my mother, I don’t know whether she died or just didn’t want anything to do with me,” you explain, your smile turning sorrowfully as you looked up at Copia, “It was just my father before I joined.”

“I am an orphan,” Copia admits, making you squeeze his hand gently, “I was left on the Abbey’s steps one day with nothing. I was one of the few orphans to stay within the church though.”

“That must have been hard.”

Copia hums in response before turning his attention back to the book, “Can you tell me what it says?”

“Its written about our Lord, describing His kindness. Have you ever felt His presence, Copia?" You looked over at him, your hand still on top of his as you questioned again, "Have you heard His messages?"

Copia feels his heart to race, pounding in his chest like a cage. He doesn't know if it's racing because of your hand or your questions, but he quickly responds, "I haven't. I pretend to do so, I am Papa, but I have not. È vergognoso."

"I think those closest to our Lord don't hear His words because they are going down the right path."

Copia smiles softly as you start reading from the book, your voice soothing the Papa. He wasn't listening to your words, instead focusing on your voice. It sounded sweeter than any fruit of Eden.

As you ended the chapter, the Papa was so grateful you read to him. He hardly listened to the chapter, he knew it was bad since it was about Lucifer, but he couldn’t help himself. Copia loved your voice and your talent.

Looking up at the old grandfather clock, you hummed in disappointment, “It’s time for you to go Copia. Dinner starts soon.”

“Hm?” Copia looked at the grandfather clock and gasped, shooting up, “Oh no! I’m late! I promised to help set the tables in the grand hall!”

Before he knew it, he was rushing out the hall without saying goodbye to you, and without even getting your name. Copia only realized it as soon as he got to the grand hall, his frown apparent as he looked back in the direction of the wing.

Tomorrow, the Papa promises himself, tomorrow he’ll get your name.

****

Tomorrow came and went, along with many more weeks as he visited you daily. Every day the Papa sees you, you are doing something different. Copia then is mesmerized by what you have to say, he listens for hours and hours, which only feels like minutes, till someone finds him or he has another event.

Every time, he doesn’t get your name, and every day he promises himself the next day. Copia has told his Ghouls all about you, the way your eyes shined when you spoke, the beautiful laughter of yours.

Today was just like any other, the Papa practically skipped to the abandoned wing with such joy of seeing you again. As he reached the large doors, Copia couldn’t help, but push them both open to make a grand entrance.

Entering the commons, Copia noticed how you weren’t sitting on the floor like you have been a couple of times. He shrugged it off and went through the practice rooms with no sights of you. Slowly, anxiety creeped up the Papa’s neck as he opened almost every room to look for you.

When he came up empty handed, he glanced at the old summoning room as he gulped. You had joked with the Papa that the summoning room held a beast that could tear humans apart with no trouble. Your joke now didn’t seem so funny as he stood in front of the oak door.

With a great hesitation, his breath hitched as he slowly opened the door. Copia peaked his head in to see a fire within the circle reach to the stone ceiling. As he stumbled in, the Papa saw you standing in front of fire with a frown on your face.

“What’re you doing?” Copia asked, making you sigh with the flames dancing off of your face, “I asked what’re you doing?”

“I cannot stay, Copia, my time is over. I failed.”

“What do you mean?”

You looked over at the Papa, tears streaming down your face as you spoke, “You're not the son of Satan, none of the Papas have been or will be.”

“Step away from the fire, piccolo topo, let’s talk about this somewhere else,” Copia begs, slowly walking closer to you as you continue to cry, “Explain it all to me, please. We can go to the gardens.”

The flames quickly died as you stepped towards him, grabbing the Papa’s wrist as you stormed towards the exit of the Abbey in the wing and out into the cold October night. You dragged him into the forest, muttering something about it being your last chance. You finally let go when you brought him to a clearing.

“Do you remember this place?” you asked, facing Copia as you spoke, “Do you have any of your memories? We were right here! Years upon years ago!”

With a wave of your hand, the surrounding forest changed as someone who looked oddly like Copia stood in front of you. He had a beautiful set of white wings that protected him as you had the same. His voice was similar to Copia’s, but a bit deeper.

“Y/N,” he spoke clearly, making you almost take a step forward.

“Yes?”

He looked back towards the now changed forest, “I’m going to stay and fight for these humans. You don’t have to do this with me.”

“But I want to!” you exclaimed, finally taking a step forward as you tried to reach out for him. Copia saw your desperation and your pain in your eyes as tears fell into the grass.

“I know you do. Please please understand, if we lose, we’ll be killed, and if we win, we can never go home,” he explains, going to grab your hands, only to go through them.

You smiled sadly as you moved your hands like they were in his, “Why would I ever want to go home if you’re here?”

“My angel, you’re wonderful,” he chuckled, leaning in to kiss you, but as soon as he was close enough, he disappeared along with the surroundings.

“Everything I ever did, I did for you.”

“I don’t understand…”

You turned to face the Papa as you grabbed his hands and held them close to your heart, “You aren’t the child of Satan, because you are Satan! You’re Satan and I’m your angel! Please please remember!”

Copia subconsciously took a step back, overwhelmed by your frantic words. You took this as a rejection, sighing as you let go of the Papa’s hands. Muttering a small goodbye, wings sprouted from your back as you took off, leaving him alone in the clearing.

“No! Wait!”

It was too late, you were gone by the time he called out. Copia was alone once again, with new memories.

* * *

It had been months since you left, every day for the first month he kept going back to the wing for you, but there was nothing. You had left a hole in the Papa’s heart he didn’t know was there. Even though you weren’t in the abandoned wing, he still found himself going there to process his new memories.

Copia had only told his Ghouls of his discovery with you about his true history, to which all responded with joy. They knew who he was, but it wasn’t their place to tell him. They asked about you a lot, knowing you as the ruler of Hell after Lucifer disappeared.

As his memories of Lucifer slowly came back to him in waves, he found himself missing you even more. The Papa started searching through books for a way to summon you back to Earth, but even with the Ghouls help, the search came up empty.

Until one day, Copia finally found the book you had read him all those months ago, which now thinking about it was almost two years ago. The final page had a ritual, a way to summon the ruler of Hell for those brave souls who were stupid enough to try it.

Copia was more than willing to do it.

The Papa gathered all of the Ghouls in the Abbey for the ritual, telling some to protect the wing and the summoning room as he prepared for it. Chatter was large as Copia grew the signs needed for the ritual with the help of Aether and other Quintessent Ghouls.

It was midnight now, the bell ringing through the Abbey to signal the time. Copia took this time to start the ritual, chanting with the Ghouls as the flame started in the summoning circle. The Papa almost cried at the sight as he heard your voice ring through the room as you sang.

Once the fire calmed down, he finally saw you again, just like the first time all over again. You were singing Life Eternal, your eyes closed as you stood in the circle. All Ghouls gasped, bowing as they quieted down.

“Can you see me longing for you forever?” you sang, slowly opening your eyes as you gasped at the sight. You turned around till you faced Copia once again, “Copia? What’s going on?”

“Ciao mio angelo,” Copia whispered, making you gasp once again as your hands found a home against your mouth. The Papa held out his hand for you to take, “I have missed you so much. I could not wait to see you again.”

“My Lucifer!”

You sob, rushing into his arms as Copia cradled you, running his fingers through your hair. He finally held you in his arms again, your Hellish warmth mixing with his as you two hugged. Slowly, the Papa lifted your head to look at him as he pulled you in for a kiss. Copia finally had you, and he wasn’t going to let you go anytime soon.

So sorry for not posting for awhile! I got a little bit of writer's block. I hope you enjoyed this!

[whump-a-la-mode]

I’ve had this in my brain for a while now and may eventually write something on it but your welcome to have a crack.

Whumpee is tied to a chair, their blood slowly being drained as whumper is tasked with getting info from them. Over time whumpee feels the effects, it’s up to you to decide if they give the info or not.

I just love the reverse blood transfusion vibes idk

This is such an interesting prompt, and I really hope that you like what I came up with! I might be willing to continue this as well, if there is enough interest. I leaned a bit away from the pure interrogation theme and made this more into a hero villain piece, but I hope you like it nonetheless.

Also Tumblr updated their text editor and I Do Not Like It.

Given the subject matter that this piece entails, reader discretion is advised. There is very very minimal mention of needles, nor is there any mention of the IV being placed, only some minor description of the IV itself. However, there is a great deal of discussion of blood. Please be aware of this.

CW//Blood, childhood bullying, isolation, natural disasters, superhero-typical violence, medical themes, gaslighting, delirious narrator

Whumpee's blood was special.

They'd always been told that. They'd discovered it when they were young, of course, when cuts and scrapes from running and playing magically stitched themselves back together within moments. They'd only heard the word 'powers' in the second grade, when some particularly reckless soccer-playing had resulted in a broken arm and a trip to the hospital. Of course, by the time they arrived, the limb that mended itself together flawlessly.

They'd never wanted to be a superhero. Not many in their position did. Yet, it did not take long for the ostracization to become too great to bear. The only place for a freak, after all, was among those of their own kind.

So, they'd become a hero. Of course, they were never the one dominating headlines. Nothing about Whumpee's powers was flashy, not like Leader, not like the ones that could shoot fire from their hands or fly.

Admittedly, they'd never really minded. Notoriety brought danger. They'd seen several of their own teammates fall, yet, they always stayed standing. It was easy to stay out of the line of fire when they were always on the ground, evacuating civilians, distracting henchmen, letting the real heroes do their work.

No one cared about the littlest member of the bunch. They barely ever made it into the press photographs, even. Sometimes, they were simply hidden behind another hero, too short to be seen. More often, they were off somewhere else, digging injured civilians from building rubble. After all, there was little risk to them entering a collapsing building. Any injuries would be healed by the time they found their target.

For a superhero, they had quite a peaceful life.

Capture wasn't exactly unheard of for those engaged in superheroics. The more important heroes had training for it; what to do in captivity, how to act, how to get help, how to withstand torture.

Not the youngest, though. Why would Whumpee ever need something like that? They were home every night for dinner.

Why would anyone ever want the youngest. Why would anyone ever want-

"It's extremely potent." Whumper spoke, voice echoing through the small room as they ran a hand over Whumpee's arm. They couldn't help but squirm under the touch; Whumper's hands were terribly cold. "But there's only so much we can do with remnants."

Whumpee allowed their wide-eyed gaze to look upwards, gazing upon their tormentor. The stranger wore a mask over their face, gloves over their hands, and a wicked smile in their eyes. Whumpee did not know them, but they certainly knew Whumpee.

They barely remembered the night before. They'd been walking home after a fight downtown. Of course, they usually rode home with their team, but the hospital had needed help with triage. It'd been a late night, and they were ready to curl up in their bed and go to sleep.

Then, there had been headlights, men from the alley, a needle in their neck-

Whumpee had woken up in the chair. It was a faulty imitation of comfort, a dentist's chair leaned back, providing support for their head, their legs, and holding their arms in place on armrests. Of course, the comfort was only surface level, and was mostly dashed by the straps holding tight every part of their body.

An extra restraint, a straight piece of plastic, held their right arm uncomfortably straight, keeping them from twisting away. Their right arm, of course, was notable in another way-- That was where the IV had been placed, a clear tube run red flowing from their vein into a collection vessel nearby.

They tried not to look. It was terribly hard not to look.

How much had been taken already? The tube was thin, but it was solid in its red color, and the vial was already filling up quite a lot...

The very thought made them queasy. Was the pressure behind their eyes from fear or blood loss?

"Obviously, the best way to collect what we need is, well, from the source." Whumper's smile could be inferred, even behind their mask. "But you're not just here for that."

They disappeared for a moment, leaving Whumpee's extremely limited field of view completely. When they returned, they were sitting at Whumpee's side on a wheeled stool, leaning slightly forwards.

"Do you know what your blood can do, Whumpee?"

Whumpee stared up at the ceiling, leather strap digging into their forehead. They could barely see their assailant in their peripheral vision. A bead of sweat rolled from their forehead to their neck, making them shiver.

"It- It heals me." They tried. That was obvious information, right? Anyone with Google or a TV tuned to the news channel could find out Whumpee's power, it wasn't exactly secret.

"It heals you, yes. Do you think that's all it does?"

"I don't-"

"You've saved more lives than you could ever realize, Whumpee."

"What are you talking about?"

Whumper grinned again. Whumpee was getting a terrible sense of vertigo.

"Samantha Walker, 59, a mother with two children." Whumper began. "A delivery worker. Her visit to the Anderson office building was meant to be short. She never even signed in. When the building fell, no one knew to look for her."

Whumpee tried to think back to the Anderson rescue mission, the names. They'd been going off of employee records, who had clocked in for the day. They'd found them all...

"You had left without her. She had been struck in the jugular by sharp debris. She was dying, until she laid down in a patch of your blood.

It healed her. She managed to find help and escaped unscathed.

Did you know about her?"

"N-No."

"What about Dennis Knelson? You searched the whole Washington complex for him, but he was nowhere to be found. You stayed on the search till midnight, but never found anything.

The floor had collapsed beneath him. He'd fallen into the sewer. When the cleanup crews came, they washed some of your blood down the storm drain.

It gave him the strength to get up and escape."

"My-"

"Shelby Arkansas. A search and rescue worker. You must remember her, don't you? You had to crawl into that cave to save her. A single drop of your blood reinflated her collapsed lung. It was a miracle that you found her uninjured, wasn't it?

She was injured. You saved her.

Do you understand, Whumpee? Do you understand how great your gift is?"

"I didn't know, I-"

Whumper reached forward, placing a frigid hand on their shoulder.

"Shh, it's alright. It's a lot to take in, I know.

There was a research study done recently, by Metropolis University. You know what they found? Out of every hero in your team, you have saved the most lives, by an exponential degree."

"Is that- That why you want my blood?" They'd never known, never tried it on another person... "If you'd let me up, I- I'll donate! As much as I can! I didn't know what it could do- I'm sorry!"

Whumper let out a low chuckle as they brushed Whumpee's sweat-soaked bangs from their face.

"Can you tell me how your team treats you, my dear?"

"My... Team? What about my team?"

"How they treat you. Oh, goodness, are you getting delirious already?"

Whumpee wasn't quite sure of the answer to that one. Their vision was getting blurry, but maybe that had something to do with the glaring spotlight shining down on them, or the terrible headache...

"My team... I love my team..."

"Do you?" Whumper wiped away a tear with their thumb. "Do they love you back?"

"Mhm."

"Is that why they let you walk home alone, in the dark?"

"I was out late-"

"And you weren't even on stage at that benefit."

"I-"

"Do you think they're even looking for you?"

Whumpee knew the answer to that one.

No.

Their team would notice their absence the next time they were needed, and not a moment before. After all, they didn't often train, didn't often hang out with the rest. They were a team member, sure, but...

No, no! Their team cared! Whumpee was just shy, that was all. There was nothing wrong with being shy.

"Of course." Whumpee whispered.

"Is that so? There was quite some hesitation, there. Oh, poor little Whumpee. "You spend quite the time at their base, then, don't you?"

"Mhm. I live there..."

Their tongue felt heavy in their mouth. It was so hard to speak...

The light above was getting dimmer.

"Then you can tell us where it is, can't you?"

"Mm... No, it's... It's secret."

"Secret, yeah? Why's that?"

"Can't tell... Might get attack'd..."

"Well, what does it matter if your team gets attacked? With how terribly they treat you, surely it's exactly what they deserve."

Whumpee weakly yanked on their restraints.

They watched the level of blood in the vial climb higher, higher...

"No. They... They're..."

Whumpee barely noticed as drool began to roll down the side of their cheek. Whumper tapped them a few times in the center of their forehead.

"Come on, Whumpee. You know where it is, just tell us. That's all. Then you can have some water, how does some water sound?"

Water sounded amazing; their mouth was dry and terribly cracked. But- But, no! They couldn't...

"Water... Please..."

"Nuh-uh. Not until you tell us. Now, where were you going? Where were you walking home to? Just tell us, Whumpee."

The vial of blood was nearly filled to its top.

Whumpee's eyes fluttered closed.

"Goodnight. Goodnight sleepytime." They slurred.

Whumper laughed, a low, chortling thing.

"Alright, Whumpee." They brushed their hand through their captive's hair. "We'll talk some more when you're feeling better.

You're going to be a lovely addition to our team."