#which is how itll be seen:3

[thinkingstoned]

hi i just spent 8 hours hunched over my bed furiously colouring in 14 pages for a staircase-long 'do you love the collour of the sky' for a friends upcoming tumblr bday party

my back and neck hurt (expectedly lol) but it actually looks p cool👀

ill get a pic of the whole thing laid out when i can :3

[airawisteria]

[ID: 2 digital drawings of Qiu Lin from Our Life: Now & Forever. The drawings have Qiu sitting down, cross legged and putting both their hands on their cheeks. The design used was a Step 2 design with the longer hair version. They are looking to the left and pouting. They are wearing some orange lipstick.

The image on the left has Qiu in a blue, frilly dress. The top part of the dress is a dark blue with the skirt part progressively becoming a lighter blue per skirt layer. The background goes from a dark blue to a lighter blue.

The image on the right has Qiu in a yellow, orange and red, frilly dress. The top part of the dress is a pale yellow with the skirt part progressively going from a pale orange to a reddish orange per skirt layer. The background goes from a pale yellow to a brighter yellow.

Both drawings have the genderfluid flag surrounding Qiu.]

[orcelito]

Oh wow. Just 2 hours after my advisor replied back saying he'd contacted the department designee, my override request has been approved. Sometimes emailing people really does work!!!

So I'll be taking front end web programming next semester!! As well as C/C++ in UNIX/Linux and quality engineering in IT. So definitely more technology focused than this semester was. But that was the point !! Finish up my communication minor this semester and some of the more theoretical courses, so it'll be on to Technology next semester 😌 I'm kinda excited

[sunbedo]

Hey guys. gay rights

[itsalwaysdark]

invited my cousin to the thing wednesday i feel so awkward

[bowsersdick]

ok rewatching spn because im a fucking idiot. i hate this show

[phagodyke]

ok moment over its all good

oh who am I fucking kidding. I'm not gonna go am I.

[cherrysha]

To Be Alone

Pairing: Sukuna x Reader

A/N: Getting this tf outta my drafts,,, banishment style. if its formatted wrong its because im tipsy and im too lazy to fix it,,, itll get fixed in the morning <3

Word Count: 4K

Warnings: Paranoia, weed, dubcon (since reader is under the influence), slight body horror

It’s already dark outside when you get to Yuuji’s apartment. Streetlights glimmer with a low electric buzz as you make your way up the concrete stairs. Its unseasonably cold outside, autumn air chilling through the light jacket you found haphazardly stuffed in the back of your car. He’s still blowing your phone up, probably ‘where are you??’ messages like he hasn’t been texting you that for the past fifteen minutes. Like he doesn’t know how far your work is from his apartment. You'd been friends long enough now to know when to answer his texts and when to ignore the incessant buzzing of your phone. “Jesus” you mutter as his ringtone plays. It’s been years but he’s always like this. A little too eager, like a child. Hitting mute, you finally round the corner and knock on his door. Yuuji could be so impatient sometimes.  It only takes one rap against the metal before you can hear the bolts turning, your friend’s cottony pink hair greeting you, eyes scrunched in a bright smile. You can't be mad, not when the smile that covers his face is so genuine.

“You're insane” you huff out at him, stepping into the threshold and shimmying out of your coat in the process. His apartment is always so warm, a little too warm, but his older brother blew a gasket any time Yuuji tried to turn down the heat for you.

 “Am not!” you giggle as he puts a hand to his chest, mock annoyance coloring his face “You just need to be quicker… making me wait and all.” You ignore him, haphazardly kicking out of your shoes before stepping deeper into the apartment.

“isn’t Junpei coming? We have to wait for him anyway.”

“He, uh, didn’t feel like coming out tonight” you can hear the disappointment in his voice at the statement and it’s contagious. Yuuji’s had a crush on the boy for almost an entire year, which is hard to believe given his short attention span and lack of romantic interest. With an audible ‘tsk’ you ruffle his hair, smiling at the little indignant look on his face that threatens to spill over at the touch. 

“There’s always next time, Yuuji” he nods, smile returning as he follows you into the living room. 

“Was thinkin’ we could watch Cast Away, since you don’t like the scary stuff”. If Junpei were here, you know he’d make you watch a horror movie anyway. Probably send you off to his room during the really scary parts so you wouldn’t ruin the mood. The thought makes you smile, and you eagerly nod as you sink back into the sofa. Yuuji sits down next to you with a huff, fiddling with the remote until the movie starts in the background. He’s probably watched this one a dozen times. You know you’ve seen it with him too many times to count. Without much thought he turns it up before setting the remote back down and picking the blunt up off the coffee table. Thank God he figured out how to roll them up. The last thing you wanted was another thirty-minute session of trying to show him exactly how to do it himself. 

Tom Hanks’ boring little life plays out on the screen in front of you as Yuuji mumbles something about how you would’ve rolled it better, and not to judge his sloppy technique. He’s still learning and all. You don’t look his way to reply, only muttering “Free weed is free weed.” as you focus on the movie. He's never told you who his dealer is, and you’ve never outright asked. Whoever he was, he never seemed to be in short supply. All the dealers you’ve met at college were either professional frat boy scam artists, selling little baggies of trash weed to stupid rich boys, or untrustworthy as hell. The type to sell you laced product and not even bat an eye. Good dealers were hard to find. It wasn't surprising Yuuji hadn’t told you, and it didn’t matter since he rarely liked to smoke alone. Yuuji leans back into the couch as he lazily hands the blunt to you, coughing a little at the end of his exhale. You don’t think about it as you take it from his hand. 

Friday nights at Yuuji’s feels like routine at this point. Leave work, smoke a blunt or two on his couch as he monologues about the random movie he’s put on, sober up and go home to your empty apartment and sleep in until Yuuji blows your phone up again. Sometimes Junpei or Nobara join in too, but most of the time it’s just you and him. Like it’s always been. 

Time feels like syrup as you listen to him ramble, voice a breathy sigh as he tells you behind the scenes facts about the movie. How Wilson actually had his own lines in the script, how none of the sound was useable and had to be added in during post production. A treasure trove of useless facts that you happily indulge in listening to. It’s odd to think of him taking his time to learn such trivial things. The image of him blankly staring at the cast away wiki during lecture swirls in your mind, pulling a chuckle from your dry throat. He’d definitely do something like that. Probably wouldn’t care if he was caught either. 

“What’s so funny?” he mumbles, lazy smile almost infectious as you just nod your head at him, eyes averting back to the screen. 

Toms already stranded on the island, you think this is the part where he rips out an infected tooth, at least you hope it is. You didn’t want to be around to see that on the screen again.

“You want somethin’ to eat?” you mumble at him, pushing up from the couch.

  “Uh, can you get me a bottle of water?” you nod, with a small chuckle. His eyes are glazed over, half lidded as he watches the screen like he’s absorbing any information that’s being presented to him. In about five minutes he’d probably be asleep. 

You hear the scream from the kitchen as Tom finally pulls the tooth out with the blade of an ice skate. You were too squeamish to look at the screen the first time you watched it. Even now, the sound alone was enough to gross you out. 

Yuuji’s cupboards are always well stocked with garbage. Chips, candy, instant noodles, anything you wanted. You take another drag from the blunt, head fuzzing over with smoke as you stare at all the options. Sukuna kept most of his food separate, not that you had to worry much about accidentally eating it. The healthy stuff was all his. Mostly stuff that had to be prepared and cooked. You weren’t looking for that shit tonight. 

“You should probably eat something!” you call out to him. After a few seconds with no reply, you peek around the corner, unsurprised to see him snoring away loudly on the couch. Go figure.

He usually fell asleep later, during the first half of the second movie. When the blunt was at least half finished.  At least he left room for you on the couch this time.

Not thinking much about it, you grab a pack of cookies and two water bottles. One for you, and one for the bonehead if he decided to wake up any time soon. 

Yuuji had left another blunt unattended, letting it idly burn away in the ashtray while he snored unashamedly on the armrest. It wasn’t really a problem, if anything it meant more for you. Yuuji wouldn’t mind, if anything he’d probably be happy that it didn’t go to waste… He probably wouldn’t mind if you smoked the third one either…

~~~

Idly you sip the water, heart pumping faster than it should be, skin feeling clammier than normal. You didn’t feel normal. Nothing felt normal.

He’s been passed out for too long to be easily woken up by the time you start feeling it. ‘It’ being the ever-pressing creep of paranoia along the edges of your psyche. Tom Hanks is screaming as Wilson bobs away from the makeshift raft and you can't help but to think the neighbors hear. That they’re calling the cops for a wellness check as you sit there, unmoving. The ambient lights flickering in through the curtains no longer feels warm, but rather very, very insidious. What happens if you go to jail? Will you lose your scholarship? Do you even have a fucking scholarship? You shake your head to try and clear the thoughts away to no avail. Yuuji’s groaning in his sleep, drool pooling out of the side of his mouth and the sudden impending doom bubbles back to the forefront of your mind. What if he chokes on all that drool and dies and you go to jail because you weren’t keeping an eye on him? Is it possible to choke on your own spit? 

Your fears seem to be confirmed as the apartment door swings open, deafening compared to the low mumble of the tv and Yuuji’s deep snores. You can hear whoever it is close the door before walking down the hallway. What if it was the cops? Or even worse, someone here to rob Yuuji? Fuck, if that were the case, you'd have no qualms with them taking everything they wanted. It’s Yuuji’s fault he didn’t deadbolt the door.

You let go of the breath you'd been holding when Sukuna rounds the corner. Eyes flickering to his brother, then to you, then to the blunt burning away in the ashtray. 

You must look startled, wide eyes locked on him as adrenaline surges through your body. You must look a little suspicious too. 

“You good?” he asks, and you can't help but look away from his heavily tattooed face, eyes instead focusing on how his chest slowly moves under his plain white shirt with each breath. You blink, trying to mimic the natural motion, the steady in-and-out of his lungs filling up and exhaling air. 

“Yeah… yeah. I just thought you were someone else.”

“Who?” his voice is demanding, sharp. Its always been that way. Deep and rich and hard to ignore. The only time you’ve been able to hear him speak more than a few words is when he’s bitching Yuuji out over something.

Taking, what you think is a very short moment, you answer.

“The cops?” he’s sighing at the sheepishness in your voice. Obviously connecting the dots as he moves to snuff the lit blunt out in the ashtray.

You can't help it as you continue to talk, to give him more proof of your paranoia as you try to defend your own emotions to him. After too long, he stops you. Hand coming to rub his face in a movement that exposes his true irritation.

“I just wanted some peace and quiet” Sukuna groans. He takes a moment to stare at the ceiling. 

Silence hangs in the air like smoke as you try and find the words you need. Tell him that this is a mistake, a misunderstanding.

“I can go, if, if that’s what you wa-“ 

“Just shut the fuck up y/n.” he snaps, eyes finding yours just as tears threaten to spill. You don’t know why you were being so sensitive. Maybe it was because you’d never even met eye contact with the man, maybe it was because of your mental state, who was to tell. He groans again, moving closer and placing a hand on your head. Big arms encircle your waist as he hoists you up, free hand wiping at the tears sliding down your face as he walks down the hallway. 

He’s so warm, how have you not noticed before? It’s not like you had ever been this close to him to truly know. In fact, this is the closest you’d ever been to him, physically and emotionally. You’d never felt comfortable enough, even the other times he’d come home to find you and yuuji stoned out of your minds, he usually left you two to your own devices and acted as if you weren’t there.

Before you know it, he’s plopping you down on his bed, and even just being in the quiet dimly lit room with him is more comforting than it should be. After all, he was being kind, a side of him you rarely saw.

“Still in your work clothes” he mumbles to himself, that layer of irritable disappointment still threading through his words as he curses again. Whispering something about kicking Yuuji’s ass before his big frame disappears out of the room. It hits you then just how focused he is on your well being. He’d focused in on something you thought was a non-issue, fixated on your comfort even if you weren’t.

You can hear him, doors creaking open and rummaging noises distantly echoing from down the hall, but all you can focus on is how the ambient light in his room looks sinister now that you’re by yourself. It doesn’t take long before he’s back, tossing you a pair of Yuuji’s sweats and sitting a glass of water down on the bedside table. 

“Come out and let me know when you're changed.” he mumbles, but you already have a hand around his wrist. The touch softly begging him to stay and let you find comfort. Even if Sukuna is as comforting as a rock, it felt wrong being alone. You know it’s wrong, this is yuuji’s older brother, his older brother who’s rarely home, who’s done nothing but ensure your comfort, and yet, you can’t stop the well of feelings bubbling up in your chest at his casual decency. He stays, begrudgingly sighing as he sits down on the edge of his bed. You don’t expect him to give you any privacy, and he doesn’t, but you're too focused on keeping your cool to truly pay attention to the way his eyes roam over your exposed skin, eyebrow raising at the sight of you undoing your bra and tossing it into your pile of clothing. 

When you’re finished he asks if you're tired, quieter now, observing you as if he’s come to some new realization while watching you undress. You nod your head, hesitantly sitting on the edge of the bed. Hoping that maybe if you were lucky he wouldn’t make you sleep in yuuji’s room. The thought of being left alone with your own thoughts much scarier than the man in front of you. Even if he kicked you out, you’d probably find yourself on the couch next to yuuji, being kept awake by his incessant snoring. Even now you could faintly hear it, the sound reverberating through the hallway and into Sukuna's room.

Before you can think too much about it, however, hands find your hips, maneuvering you onto Sukuna’s chest as he lays down with you. Every inhale moves your body on his, deep breaths as he slides his palms up to the back of your head, lifting it so you have no choice but to stare into his eyes. 

“Feel any better?”. Vaguely, you think this is the nicest sukuna has ever been to you, even if he is forcefully tilting your head back. Usually, you only see him in passing, any words spoken on his part come out as a grunt and nothing more. Yuuji had told you that you were Sukuna’s favorite, whatever that meant. And when you had pressed Yuuji on that sentiment he had clammed up. Said Sukuna only let you stay the night, had only ever been himself around you. Of course you hadn’t known what he meant by that; Sukuna barely acknowledged you, never speaking to you unless he could do so in monosyllabic words or grunts. But tonight, he'd been nothing but kind, at least kind in his own right. 

You nod, breath hitching as he mutters out a “good girl” before kissing the crown of your head. There’s nothing further than that, and after a while his deep breaths even out. You feel like a cat, some sort of small animal that their owner has allowed to sleep on their chest. It’s all too docile. Slowly you find yourself drifting off as well.

Your rest ends up being shorter than you would’ve hoped because Its hot. Too fucking hot. Too hot to sleep, too hot to breathe. You need out. Slowly, you slip off the huge t shirt, uncaring of your bareness underneath. You need relief in some form. It takes a few tries before you can roll the sweatpants off of your hips. Maybe if you were sober you would’ve remembered that this was not the time nor the place to be laying yourself bare, but for right now, its hard to remember your propriety. In truth, you forgot about the fact that your were a guest in a grown man’s bed, In truth, you really didn’t stop to think about repercussions. By the time you’re done, you realize you have an audience. Sukuna’s eyes are staring down at you, fingers digging into the meat of your hips to still your movement.

“Sukuna I’m sorry-“ 

“You trying to start something?” 

“No, no I just got hot and- “

“You could’ve gotten the fuck off of me” it only takes a moment before tears threaten to spill at the harsh words, at the mean look on his face as he stares down at you. Its embarrassing, mortifying, that he’s right. Before you can make much progress on getting your body off of his a tight grip on your hips stills you as he readjusts, and places you squarely back on top of him again. 

“Such a crybaby” his hips rock up, hands pressing you down further as he moves languidly against you. “Feel that crybaby?” you nod, eyes still focused on his as he continues moving. He’s hard between your legs, every press of his hips squishing into that soft spot at the apex of your thighs, igniting a new type of heat inside of you.

“There’s no use trying to take advantage of me like that,” he grunts, still moving against you “coulda just asked. I’m more than happy to give you what you want.”

Its not like that, at least in your head it wasn’t. You had made too many bad choices tonight, and all of them had led you here. Straddling his wide hips, hands on his chest as you slowly grind back and forth on top of him, gasping at the delicious friction with every swivel. Its surprising he allows it, but Sukuna just calmly rests on his elbows, transfixed with the way the material of his sweatpants moves underneath you, how he can feel the heat radiating from your core like a furnace. 

Before long he sits up, hand wrapping around your hip to force you to still. He laughs at the whine that bubbles up from your throat, eyes searching your face as his free hand tangles in between you, pressing in between your bodies until he finds what he’s looking for. His thumb presses down softly at first, gentle and languid strokes over your clothed clit until your eyes flutter shut and you mouth drops open at the sensation. The syrupy feeling doesn’t last long, only a few minutes of his hips bucking up into yours, jostling you each time as his thumb traces careful circles, until he’s had enough and presses down on your clit harshly. His body shakes with laughter as you cry out in overstimulation.

 “such a glutton” his mouth finds your throat, lips closing over your pulse point as his eyes flutter shut  at the feel of your whines vibrating through the skin there. On a harsher thrust your nails accidentally scratch down the expanse of his muscular chest, ripping a growl from him in the process. Before you can apologize, he’s cursing again, hips moving against your own as he pulls and pushes you against him. Your best friend’s brother, beneath you, panting and groaning at the feeling of your nails in his chest. It doesn’t seem real, if anything it’s more believable that you passed out beside yuuji and ended up in a fucked up dream. Unfortunately for you the dull, bruising, ache of his hands on your hips solidifies this as reality, and unceremoniously you're dumped onto the bed, underneath him as he pants above you. 

His eyes look crazed, an inch away from terrifying, as he sloppily rips your underwear from you, ignoring the sound of the fabric protesting at such harsh treatment. It feels wrong, and that alone turns you on further. Sukuna’s chest rises and falls in his excitement, and two fingers push into you, gathering slick and messily smearing it over your pussy. His hand is still wet, glistening in the low light as it wraps around your knee, pushing both of them together and up. 

“Sukuna – “ 

 “who told you to speak?” he’s lining himself up, eyes focused as he slowly rolls his hips forward. You never even noticed his sweats came off, never wanted it to get this far, but before you can find your voice -

You expect to feel the harsh burn of him pressing inside of you, but it doesn’t come. instead, his cock is pushing through your thighs, glistening head squishing through sticky flesh as he starts to set a harsh pace. The underside brushes along your folds, gathering the slickness there with every pass as his pace only gets faster. 

“Fuck” he groans, hips twitching as he stills, trying to catch his breath at the sensation, at the fucked out expression on your face. He hasn’t even fucked you and yet you look an absolute wreck. You don’t feel much better either. Every slide of his hips forces more wetness from you, more noises from you. The feeling of his fingers digging into to crook of your knees keeps you firmly planted in the moment.

“All of this,” he sighs, finally picking up the pace after being a tease the entire night, “right under my nose this whole time.” the air is pushed out of your lungs as his cock finally rubs against your clit. 

The sound of his body slamming against your own fills the room. Sukuna leans down, and for a shocking moment you think he may actually kiss you, but his head goes even lower before you can feel his teeth biting against your neck. There’s no room to breathe with him like this, your hands curling into the red sheets, his mouth unabashedly leaving marks against your throat, its all too overwhelming. The sound of slapping echoes through the room. You’re left adrift in the sensation of Sukuna fucking your thighs so vigorously, the wet schlick of skin on skin, the sound of his panting breaths. Only a few more thrusts against your clit before you’re whining, thrashing against the bed, close to an orgasm that doesn’t come. 

“Did you really think I’d let you?” He breathlessly laughs “i’m not that kind sweetheart.”

Sukuna pulls back at the last second, hand on his cock as he jerks off in front of you, kneeing at your spread legs until you’re situated just the way he wants: legs spread, breathless, as he pumps his cock in front of your tits. 

“Such a pretty thing” he murmurs, “shame this is all goin’ to waste… maybe one day-“ the groan, and sudden release that bathes your chest, is startling. You’d never thought of yuuji’s brother in this way, moaning above you as he paints your chest white. But now the truth of it was jarring enough for you to see the truth for what it was. You had fucked your best friend’s brother. Had let him finish on your chest, even let him clean you up afterwards and croon sweet nothings into your ear during the process. You were even shameless enough to fall into a peaceful sleep next to him.

When you wake, the room still faintly smells of sex. Fear grips you as you hear something down the hall. Sukuna is long gone, something you’d expected before you even opened your eyes. You know he’s probably left the apartment already, that’s not what scares you. The sound reverberating down the hall is yuuji. Singing over some shitty pop anthem blaring through a speaker. How could you explain away fucking his brother?

[crooked-wasteland]

i feel like that clip gets worse the more i think about it. like;

1. why does charlie treat baxter like a replacement for sir pentious? why is she treating one of the only patrons she had a connection to (at least a hell of a lot more of a connection then she has with angel,) as if hes easily replaceable? like, i know its supposed to be funny because they roughly fit the same trope of "wacky evil guy who makes evil stuff", and it IS funny.. when i dont actually think of the implication of how charlie is treating sir pentious in memory through the way she talks about him after he was killed right in front of her. its like they thought about how funny the joke would be before they thought about charlie and sir pentious's relationship in s1, and just went with that so they wouldn't have to write charlie acting any different. which sucks, because charlie legitimately mourning him would be a GREAT conflict for the main character to have in s2. tbh they still might do that so they can have their cake and eat it too, but i dont know if itll feel sincere after that scene with her and baxter.

2. does she know sir pentious is alive in heaven? how could she know? nothing about the way she speaks in the clip makes me think so, but at least if she knew he was actually okay and redeemed, you'd resolve the issue of her trying to replace some guy who died defending HER hotel with his life, and the issue of her having no reason to redeem sinners after learning heaven is corrupt and seemingly wont let in even the sinners in that deserve redemption. because replacing someone in a cast whos technically still living in heaven isnt nearly as bad, and his existence alone would probably be proof enough alone to motivate charlie to keep trying to redeem sinners, which would be especially satisfying after her faith in heaven would understandably be broken after the trial and the extermination coming right to her hotels front door. so knowing that, this is probably whats NOT going to happen

3. why is she specifically even trying to replace sir pentious anyway? is it a coping mechanism after her loss of him? its obviously comedic so we're not supposed to take it seriously, which means the writers probably wanted to make a joke about how obviously baxter is going to be the replacement for sir pentious's role at the hotel, god i wish we had seen them interact together at a voxtech con in a competition like in vivs old post pilot series pitch in 2019 but i'd argue its a joke at the expense of charlies character development. the way she acts in that clip is something i'd expect from s1 charlie, but not s2 after everything that happened to her.

i think s1 had the issue in general of making things funny or fun over making them make sense for the characters in context, so its not surprising to see that issue happen again. it's just slightly more infuriating when you remember hazbin was supposed to be the serious show compared to helluva, but now hazbin has way too many mean spirited or dumb jokes at the expense of its own characters youre supposed to automatically care about, just for comedys sake, and helluva became the soap drama nobody asked for.

Absolutely! I side stepped my own opinions as I genuinely wanted to see what others had to say, and @tommycorriander pretty much hit that nail on the head for my interpretation of the narrative. The biggest issue is how the first season elected to prioritize things happening over their characters and their relationships. We never actually see the cast grow close over the season, we are simply told that's what happened.

But by mixing together Pentious and Baxter, my first inclination was that, yes, outside of superficial characteristics, Charlie cannot connect to sinners. They are all the same to her, and based on her character being so broad and general in her appraisal of Sinners, it definitely feels like she doesn't see them as individuals.

And the travesty is that if the show actually went in that direction, I would eagerly welcome it. I would love to see some self-awareness from the writers and a character with a legitimate flaw of personality; not just "she made a mistake, but her heart is in the right place" contrivances that have riddled all of Medrano's work. I would love to see that story of Charlie being forced to change as a person, and I would probably love Charlie as a character as well if the show went this route. Instead, good characters just do bad things but with good intentions. Instead of good people actually being complicated creatures with some genuine flaws of character that they are always working to mitigate and be better.

Characters who are working to be good people feel like good people. Those that just act good with no effort feel conniving or disconnected and apathetic. They feel fake and vapid. Having it be a genuine effort would do so much in giving Charlie some ounce of depth.

[lovemyromance]

idk why but i think itll be forced if gwyn and az get together. Like say elain accepts the bond and gets with lucien and azriel knows he has to step back and then suddenly he likes gwyn and they started to form a bond and get together. like... no. thats not it at all. like at least do some type of slowburn for gwynriel if elain and lucien get together. (Idk why but I keep thinking itll be like a forcing thing if elain and luc get together because they know they are mates. LIKE IT JUST WONT HIT THE SAME) But, I think thats why im so built up on elriel and cant fully ship the other ships because theres nothing for me to fully ship.

My meeting got cancelled just now and I'm in a silly goofy mood so let me just say this: if I were SJM and I for some reason DID intend to write Elucien or Gwynriel, I would not have done it this way. I don't think any writer would've done it this way.

The way the books are currently written, it is a clear setup for Elriel. People who deny that are those who still hold out hopes for their preference of ship, but the writing does not support that. It has not supported that since ACOWAR.

Not that I am in any way SJM equivalent but here's how I would've done it, starting from ACOWAR, which was when she started actively planning Nesta & Elain's spinoffs. (And this is in no way Anti Lucien or Gwyn. But I'm tagging it anti because I don't want them getting any ideas lmaooo)

1. The second they got back to the Spring Court, have Lucien grow a backbone and tell Tamlin he's going after Elain. Not simply "Get her back" but "I'm getting her back." (Ring any bells?)

Not wait for Feyre to leave and tag along to see if Elain was "worth fighting for", not simply think about how Elain had been thrown at him, not even think about Jessiminda. I would've had Lucien take action himself. He would've left to go after Elain immediately, and Feyre would've followed HIM - or waited till she got the spring court fucked up and then followed him.

2. Have Lucien be patient with Elain. Have more than just one awkward conversation with Elain. Have Feyre observe multiple moments between them. Have Elain slowly soften to him or get used to his presence. Have Lucien sit in the garden with Elain. Have him frown at her words and bring them up to Feyre and actually try to help her. But most importantly I would've had Lucien figure out her powers. (Sound familiar? Good. It should.)

3. Have Azriel go volunteer to find Vassa, not Lucien. Perhaps he goes into the library to research (starting the foundation for Gwynriel very subtly). Have Lucien join the IC as they fight at SC, have Lucien join them at the HL meeting. Have Lucien go into an angry rage at seeing Graysen and how that man's words hurt his mate. Have him comfort Elain and say "I'll wait - however long it takes."

4. Have Lucien save Elain from Hybern's camp. Have Lucien go feral and break the wards around the camp - setting up for his parentage plotline - and winnow in and save her. Have Elain kiss his cheek. Have Elain finally see him in a different light. (Wow where have I seen this before?)

5. Have Elain willingly invite him to Velaris at the end of ACOWAR. Have Lucien take her up on that offer.

6. In ACOFAS, have Elain & Lucien get each other presents. Elain does not get Azriel a gift, just Lucien. She appreciates the gardening gloves. Gets Lucien ... a fishing rod or hair tie or something idk "here's a rod: for all the fish that you catch with your hands" 🤣🤣🤣 Lucien laughs and Feyre thinks "wow I've never seen him so happy"

7. Continue to develop their relationship in the background of ACOSF. Lucien offers to help Elain train her powers in the background (idk how he would but still). He is there at solstice and gets her another gift. Cassian thinks Elain is sneaking around with him but won't admit it. Lucien goes with them to Hewn city and gifts Elain a dress that suits her better and is from the Day court or whatever. There's a bonus chapter with LUCIEN's POV where Elain & Lucien are about to kiss but they get interrupted and Lucien feels bad he pushed her too far so he says sorry this was a mistake. Miscommunication trope ensues.

8. After ACOSF, start their book with a major conflict that comes up immediately. For some reason, Lucien & Elain go to Day court to research and train her powers - maybe they have a Seer there idk. make something up, a la CC3 translation bean. Their friendship has been steadily growing since ACOWAR, and now it turns to love.

I would've set Elucien up for a slow burn, friends to lovers romance from the second Elain got chucked out that cauldron.

But again, SJM did not write it that way. She wrote all those key pivotal moments with Elriel, not Elucien. It would've been so easy to do the storyline above. It would've made us root for them more by the time their book came around. Lucien was a main character since book 1 (before he fell off) so their story would've been eagerly anticipated.

And I could do this same thing for Gwynriel, but she didn't exist until ACOSF so it would be much much shorter and basically would be Nesta noticing ACTUAL romantic moments between Gwyn & Azriel (not "bye Shadowsinger" or "you're new ribbon Az" but actual romantic attraction - like Azriel physically helping Gwyn cut the ribbon and touching her - with her consent ofc - and Gwyn blushing at him). Like - do the antis realize how EASY that would've been? I dare say it would've been easier for SJM to write Gwynriel than any moment with Elriel at that point in ACOSF, because Nesta spent more time with Gwyn.

There's absolutely no way SJM wrote the books this way with all this Elriel buildup, just so she could have a shock factor (?) of "Elain & Lucien are mates but she avoids him for 3 books and gets with Azriel but SURPRISE- Elucien is actually endgame! And Az gets with Gwyn!"

That just doesn't make any sense. At all.

[hy4c1nthh]

okay oc post!!!! these ocs are shared with @w1zteria and itll be our cyber (or "modern" as we called it i dont remember why) au

okay starting off here are our main characters

lacey pines

millie pines

Riley (I FORGOT HIS LAST NAME.)

Lucky (was her last name literally clover. WAS HER LAST NAME CLOVER??? I DONT REMEMBER if it was thatd be REALLY funny)

uuuhhhmmm there are other ocs that have their own stories but arent part of the "main"/focus story ykyk?

also this is subconsciously inspired by alita: battle angel BECAUSE I LOVE IT SM. youll see a lot of little things alluding to it but like. i dont draw from it DIRECTLY .

so this world is a cyber/dystopian setting with a very heavy class-based system. instead of a physically Up/down thing that is seen in a lot of media, its moreorless inn vs outerskirts of the same region. the further out you go the "worse" it gets. Lets introduce our mcs.

Lacey Pines (she/they), a oficcer/guard who despite works in the "inner" part of the city, lives in the outskirts. She (along with many other officers on her level) do not get paid much and often turn to corruption and such. we didnt develop that system too much which is something we'll end up doing prolly soon.

Next we have Millie Pines(she/her) Lacey's estranged older sister. She is sort of an etrperener.ent.entreprenour?? whatever. oh but little do the people know shes an ASSASIN!?!?!?!?!? heh hell yeah. As a kid she was taken from her family. she still remembers them, but her thinking was also sort of manipulated by the people who took her.

quick note on that!! their father was HEAVY into debt and officers/debt collectors were threatening to take their home and arrest the father along with it, swearing to doom the rest of the family. Their mother ends up striking a deal- giving away one of their children to the high-standing guard training facility. Theres this big boss guy that takes millie under his wing i dont remember him at ALL i think he was a character from the og piece of media this entire thing was based off of but that wont do anymore so we'll fix him later. He's like. a horrible person but like. father figure. i guess? Millie continues to call him "father"

Well, she does also realize how bad all this shit is but she stays on the morally-grey side. She just does her job. ot doesn't matter who- it could be a huge ceo or someblady who wanta to kill her husband because he cheated. doesnt matter at. all.

Next we have riley!!! (he/him) he is ALSO an assassin but he's a resident of the outskirts who hides out in the inner city. He is also simultaneously a decently big name in the inner city being somewhat of a sports star!! there was this underground sports thing I don't remember at ALL but he was. really good at that. rich people from the inner city would come to see it a lot (cough cough millie). he's just a silly lad. Lil guy if you will.

Lucky(she/he) is a thief (we didn't develop her story much...💔💔💔) ...infact. there's not a lot on her which is sad cuz I love her.

uuugaggagah I don't remember much of the main story but it was very messy tho... here's sum extra stuff

Millie is around ~34 years old

lacey was...~25-27

riley was ~26

lucky ~35

during the main story, lacey grows to HATE millie. with a passion. when millie was taken lacey was very young so she doesn't remember much, as in fact soon after it happened their mother either left or died, so their father raised her instead. lacey internalized hate for millie since bcuz of how she was raised, she couldn't bring herself to hate her mom or anything else, so what's the next best thing? the sister who "abandoned her family"

lucky and millie are lesbians always were always will be

riley and lacey ended up getting involved too

if u wanna know who dies lmk :3

tags......

@harrowharr0w @vee1021 @kitchenaidmixer02 @birchtreecat @boiledbasil

[magpigment]

a straightforward guide to rectifying your own (un)ending: by william wisp

1. accept that nothing you ever thought you were is permanent. you're in a constant state of flux (or at least, a constant state of decline. what's the difference between transformation and decomposition, really?)

2. you are already familiar with grieving, both in yourself and others. (you'll never forget the sounds of your mother crying over her baby boy that died in the room across from your bedroom. you put your hand to your chest and feel your pitter pattering heartbeat in the long nights after 'the accident'.) youre very familiar with grief, indeed.

3. get used to feeling like youre haunting your own life, like youre possessing your own body, like youre a ghost trying to remember what it feels like to be the person youre scared you no longer are. it never goes away. you know youll hope for it to, anyway.

4. your joints are stiff. you remember reading about rigor mortis a while back (you cant forget it. you cant forget any of it. youve tried).

5. arent you tired? youre scared to fall asleep. youre scared you wont wake up.

6. if youre not already accustomed with shame, youll learn soon enough. you already hated most things about yourself before you died. you think you hate this part most of all. (you feel it festering where your heart is meant to be. you dont want to check if you still have a pulse.)

7. you want to help people. you try to help people. you fail to help people. rinse. repeat. youre not a hero. you dont have superpowers. youre just a dead kid. you really thought youd be good for anything other than haunting the people you care about?

8. you shouldve stayed in the dirt. (you know youd just crawl right back out. there's still mud under your nails. in your lungs.)

9. your name is on a tombstone. you stare at it. you stare at it. you stare at it. you dont blink.

10. your older brother thinks youre a freak. you dont tell him that you agree. you dont tell him anything. you dont tell him anything at all anymore. it's not really such a big difference to how it was before.

11. youre nothing but a bad omen. you dont know how everybody else keeps missing the signs. (you cant feel your fingers.)

12. the stages of decomposition are fresh, bloat, putrefaction, advanced decay, and skeletonization. you dont know which stage youre at. you dont even know if that applies to you anymore. (you cant feel your fingers.)

13. youre scared. (when are you not? you know youre a coward. you cant feel your fingers.)

14. rules of three. before, during, after. limbo. maybe it's all limbo. there's nothing left for you here. there's nothing left for you there. you dont know which is worse, lingering or passing on. you really are just a ghost, arent you?

15. avoid your reflection like the plague. you were never really pretty before, but now you look ghastly, all gaunt skin and eyebags and twitching tendons. (rigor mortis. you cant tell if the shudder that runs through you is from revulsion or a dying muscle spasm.)

16. you dont sleep anymore. youre pretty sure you dont need to anymore. youre still tired.

17. ignore the chill that never goes away.

18. ignore the way you reek of death. animals never go near you, now. you see vultures circling ahead that disappear when you blink. (just a carcass with the audacity to still walk around.)

19. ignore your friends concern. if you pretend everything is fine enough, maybe itll be true.

20. ignore how hopeless it all feels. youve seen the afterlife. there's nothing waiting for you there, so dont even think about it.

21. ignore the way your hands shake.

22. ignore the fact your chest doesnt move from breaths.

23. ignore that your wounds dont heal quite right.

24. ignore the disgust you feel whenever you move and your joints dont bend the way theyre meant to.

25. ignore your shame, ignore your fear, ignore the fact your heart doesnt beat anymore-

26. ignore it all

27. you cant

28. you cant

29.

30.

31.

32. you try anyway

33.

34. rinse. repeat.

35. ....

36. accept this crypt of a person youve become. you think, maybe, that this fate hangs over you like a guillotine- like this death was meant to happen, like you were always meant to become this. it all seems too perfect to be coincidence, right?

37. 'william wisp, the one meant to be the wisperer, keeper of the wispering woods, born and raised (and killed) in deadwood.' it's all so cliche.

38. that dread builds in your throat like phlegm. you cant accept it, but what other choice do you really have?

39. after all, you couldn't have ended up any other way!

[suffarustuffaru]

I'd love to hear more about Otto and Natsumi Schwartz if you have anymore thoughts on them

hah once again ty for all the cool asks its been fun answering them :o !! and arghhhhh otto and natsumi......................................... i have many thoughts.

ive been planning on making a comprehensive otto queer analysis post for a while - just bc i think my thoughts on reading otto as queer are kinda spread across different posts of mine HAH and i dont normally write very formally with proper grammar in most of my analysis posts, even (...i normally save that for my school essays...... </3) but id love to make an actual formal analysis just for the topic of queer otto bc i have been Gathering Evidence!! making theories!! otto's whole judging attitude towards natsumi is definitely part of it.

and also i do have fic wips in the works abt these sorts of topics!! i am publishing one sometime this month or early next month!!

anyway i went over like my theory on otto being a little fixated on normalcy in asks like this one.... which is yknow due to being an outcast his entire life so then he ends up overcorrecting a little (see: him insisting on wearing green bc he thinks itll help him look approachable) but then he never fits in anywhere Except for the emilia camp anyway so :,))

that, and. you would Think that otto wouldnt give a shit bc of his dp. like animal biology is soo widely different between different animals, biological sex can be a little complicated at times (like. snails. for example) and of course animals all work Really differently, but also sometimes animals will have sex with other members of their species with the same sex (like bats. or giraffes.) so its like. Yes, human sex and gender and sexuality and human concepts of these things are Not comparable to animals but its still like - these are natural things, you know? and ottos talked with lots of animals and probably seen a bit of shit, so you would expect him not to be homophobic or transphobic or anything right?

and i think on one level he would recognize human sex, gender, and sexuality as natural things, bc they are, but i also think otto still has internalized shit going on from all the times hes struggled with learning social rules and how human connection works as he was growing up, id say. i remember how in my. um. "how homophobic would rz characters be" tier list i had to move otto UP a tier into the same tier as FERRIS AND SUBARU.... in the DEALING WITH INTERNALIZED SHIT tier..... yes. i have reasons for doing that yep!!

so. in three idiots goddess statue episode, garf otto and subaru of course crossdress to go to this party with roswaal for Reasons!!!! and ottos got a bit of an attitude about the crossdressing ok. just gonna leave some excerpts from there regarding otto's feelings on natsumi and crossdressing:

She is a thin woman with wavy gray hair and beautiful ornaments. She has a neutral face, but the lightly applied makeup enhances her good looks. She looks so good in a dress that exposes her thin white shoulders that it is a shame that she walks with her head down.

Natsumi: “So, how long are you going to keep your mouth shut? Don't you think it's time to make up your mind?” Audrey: “I'm more curious as to why you're so adamant about this!” Natsumi: “Oh-ho-ho-ho” Audrey blushed and yelled at Natsumi, who put her hand over her mouth and laughed loudly. However, in no time at all. Audrey immediately covered her face with her hands, as if ashamed of herself. Audrey: “How could this happen? If I knew there had been two other people besides me, I wouldn't have had to resort to such emergency measures! I've been tricked!"

Needless to say, it was Garfiel who was dressed as the blonde woman, and Otto as the gray-haired woman. And the last one, Natsumi Schwartz, was the one who… Subaru: “So she's the temporary form of Natsuki Subaru, as you know.” Otto: “Um, how come you're so smooth and perfect? Even your voice has changed, hasn't it?” Subaru: “Actually, I failed once before because I couldn't change my voice. Ever since then, I've been practicing for a chance at revenge.”

Subaru: “Did you actually have a secret desire to dress as a woman? So you took this opportunity to......?” Otto: “don’t look at me like you've just found out the terrible truth!” Otto spat and screamed at Subaru's shocked face. Then, while he was breathing hard. Otto: “Your crazy prediction is way off! I really only did what Ram asked me to do. I thought I was doing the camp a favor, and this is how they treat me!” Subaru: “Wow, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, calm down. Look, you're ruining your pretty face....…” Otto: “Shut up”

With the men calling out to her one after another, Audrey left the crowd and took a breath. She wanted to sit on the balcony and enjoy the cool breeze to cool down the heat of the party. To be honest, since we entered the venue, the men have been constantly coming at us with no time to rest. Audrey had heard that this was a place to meet people, but the hunt of a hungry wolf is insatiable. They are so hungry that they are even blinded by the gender of the person in front of them. If they don't develop a better eye for women, even if they do meet someone, they will probably end up unhappy. Or is it that "good"?  Audrey: “Hmm, makeup is scary. I can see how men can turn into....…”

Audrey glanced toward the center of the hall. There, as usual, Natsumi was having a good time chatting with many of the participants. She was so excited that she could be heard shouting over and over again. Garnet: “Captain...... No, not so much as a lady” Audrey: “I really wonder what's going on with that guy....... I'm worried that he won't respond to me calling him Natsuki-San anymore.”

Gwain: “No, no, no, enough is enough. You ladies are beautiful, especially that dark-haired girl, Natsumi Schwartz. She's got the youngsters by the balls. She's a bad girl.” Audrey: “Ha-ha-ha.” Audrey couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh and failed to look feminine.

Then, smiling with her hand over her mouth, is a woman with distinctive mean looking eyes. With her unusual black hair and jet-black dress, she exudes elegance in her demeanor. Perhaps it's because she's a good talker and a good listener, but she seems to be able to swim through the social scene with ease, laughing and creating a friendly atmosphere even when surrounded by several men.  I couldn't decide whether I should be impressed or dismayed by her versatility. A short distance away, a sharp-looking blonde woman silently waved away the men who approached her, creating a stark contrast between the light and dark of the people involved. And to those of us on the sidelines, watching the scene…

anyway so. thats a whole lot of excerpts and theres probably at least a little bit more in that ss that i didnt put in this post hah.... and i know that you could definitely interpret these scenes in a few different ways, and also that when youre writing about gender, your feelings on it are likely to bleed into the text a bit and so some of stuff like otto being a Bit of an Asshole in this ss might just be tappei's tappei-isms also (which is most likely the case for stuff like this entire ss tbh :,)) ) but. but i do think theres Something here to be analyzed in regards to otto!!

bc like. lbr. i really doubt that otto is Straight. i really really doubt that hes straight, and i feel like theres just so so much possible gay subtext behind whatever the hell ottos feelings for subaru are thatre scattered across side content and the main story HAH...... this isnt even my ottosuba bias talking, its genuinely what i think could be happening here. and lbr if otto was female everyone and their mother would be shipping ottosuba more i think haha.

but yeah anyway otto shows up being a little...... wack..... about crossdressing??? HM. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. but also the rezero fantasy world seems to be rather Judgmental about these sorts of things anyway so. :,)))

but i am squinting HARD at "I'm worried that he won't respond to me calling him 'Natsuki-san' anymore".............. and the hungry wolf part......... im squinting at it for multiple reasons (tappei being tappei) (.....but also WHAT is going on in otto's head...)..... "I couldn't decide whether I should be impressed or dismayed by her versatility."............

anyway. i think this could be several possiblities....

otto is once again focused on what's considered "normal" and is focused on trying to at least Attempt to fit into societal ideas of normalcy so when he sees subaru whos this absolutely chaotic and bold person whos also like Queer In Every Direction, otto's brain basically shortcircuits. hes like "wtf how are you doing that. you cant do that. thats not allowed. youre so confident about this too. wtf" (ie: ............otto is transphobic.) (this is 1ooo% the most likely option)

otto is gay for subaru and subaru dressing as a woman gives otto a little bit of a bi crisis. natsumis a bad girl thats got youngsters by the balls, you see. also bc subaru called otto pretty and otto was immediately like "SHUT UP" like T^TT

otto is gay for subaru and subaru dressing as a woman gives otto a tiny itty bitty crisis bc if subaru's sex was female and if subaru was 100% a woman then liking subaru romantically would be a million times easier bc then its societally acceptable

otto, being a bit of a manipulative asshole, goes "hm. subaru-as-natsumi effortlessly charming the room? interesting. i approve of the political maneuvering."

otto is being an asshole, once again, to complain, once again, about all the work he Willingly Does for his friends

................................................gender envy???????

or feeling off bc hes uncomfortable crossdressing just bc of that mismatch between his gender presentation and his gender yknow

otto is feminine/androgynous, so could he have been made fun of for this in the past?????????????????? does he ever get uncomfy about that?????????????????????? not being traditionally masculine??????? bc otto easily passes as a woman when hes crossdressing?????????

a mix of a few of the above options!!!!!

but yeah like. ottos clearly ashamed and embarrassed to be crossdressing. he's also been mistaken for a woman in the past (in subaru's pov) bc yknow hes very androgynous. and also otto gets Really Fucking Defensive when subaru insinuates that otto couldve wanted to dress as a woman also this entire time. the "youre ruining your pretty face..." "shut up." exchange is SOOOO.... T^TT

(and also quick side note but i think ottos stance on queerness is "i dont think its personally wrong. except that i think its wrong Societally bc society will be a bitch about it!! too much Trouble and Work For Me!!!! " :,)))) fucking bitch. thanks otto </333)

and im sure the "I'm worried that he won't respond to me calling him 'Natsuki-san' anymore" line is a dig at subaru passing so so strongly as natsumi that ottos like "urgh hes more of a Woman now" or smth :,))))) however!! its also interesting just bc "natsuki-san" is like. otto turned it into a pet name. basically. like at this point. even though he and subaru have grown closer during and after arc 4 otto Still uses "natsuki-san" - its kind of special, yknow? dude turned that into a fond nickname. so its like..................... if you squint.... why is otto basically saying "will subaru being natsumi drive him away from me..." like im gonna slap otto across the face i swear HAHA. but also otto Does use "natsumi-san" towards natsumi as well but im still. squinting hard at that. "natsuki-san" is The original pet name, after all.

and also the hungry wolf lines... like i know the intent of that is like. otto as audrey keeps getting hit on by guys at this party bc shes attractive, right, with her dress and makeup and styled hair and all that. insert tappei's tappei-isms here. but ottos musing on this like "mm.... men can be so hungry in their romantic pursuits that they'd be blind to the true gender of the person theyre hitting on...... makeup can really do such a thing huh... turns men into Animals..." and its like. hm. otto. you know. i Wonder. i really wonder my guy after hearing about you be obsessive over subaru for like three arcs!!!!!!!!!!

as for ottos gender like. dude is cisgender in canon im sure. though i definitely think its fun to explore genderqueer interpretations of him - and even then, i think even if he isnt genderqueer, i think there might be a bit of shock or even envy, if you squint, at otto seeing subaru so flamboyant and way more confident about crossdressing while ottos over here ducking his head and red with embarrassment while natsumi is absolutely OWNING it. despite the judgment otto and other people are giving!!! otto could Never. it completely blows ottos mind a little, from the looks of it. "how come youre so smooth and perfect?", the defensiveness at subaru saying otto couldve secretly wanted to dress as a woman, "i couldnt decide whether to be impressed or dismayed", and of course it all goes back to subaru being in the spotlight and otto watching from the sidelines. in the Darkness, you could say. hahahaahahahah................. subaru who gets easily into trouble and seems so so shameless about things while ottos so distressed about it.... about every little thing................

but also i do have another running theory that subaru's masculinity issues and otto's androgyny do clash a little just bc. well subarus judged ferris a bit before - "what part of you is like a man?" iirc is the line from arc 4 wn that subaru said to ferris. and subaru can feel more confident bc hey.... im more masculine than a guy like otto, right? otto, who can easily be mistaken for a girl? but im sure subaru would be a little jealous, even. maybe. bc woah. i want to pass as a girl when i decide to dress as one. and then yknow ottos being a dick abt it. maybe its a "im a man and Not a woman" (cisgender man who is uncomfortable dressing as a woman and knows this is not for him) thing too or maybe its a "im a man and Not a woman, so doing this is stupid and beneath me" (internalized/not internalized transphobia????????????) thing???????

yeah so idk i feel like theres different ways to read this fr especially when. haah..................... otto is Not Straight for subaru. thats for sure.

so why are you being an asshole about your crush crossdressing????????? why does it kind of threaten you a bit???????????????????????? why are you behaving this way????????????????????

but if you think about it i do think that maybe. at the heart of all of this. otto is just upset at the Impossibility of him and subaru being together (in any sense of that word) bc theyre so similar but so so different and it makes them clash in every way. :,))))

[bredrawz]

Which oc of yours has the most character lore?

(Also hiii I'm so glad you liked my artfight drawing 😋)

vikki and glume have the most lore out of my ocs (for all my current ocs)

even ocs within their universe arent as fleshed out! all the ocs and some of their spoiler-free info are on my art fight page, but all of my current ocs are linked into one universe so heres a ranking of how much lore each character has:

1 - Vikki

this girl definitely has more lore considering her ghost seeing abilities adding onto her character

1 - Glume

being the main protagonist of the universe she almost ties with vikki with how much lore she has. but since vikki has supernatural powers i think shed be considered to have more but these two are at a. lose equal tbh

3 - rose and edric

will not give any info on their roles in the story but they definitely have their own story i have thought out

4 - nancy and eleanor

youve seen nancy on my art fight but she has a supporting story as she was the previous wife of edric, but she doesn’t have too much lore and is just simply mentioned in the comic (thats as much as ill say regarding her). as for eleanor, you’re all just hearing about her today but to prevent spoiling my own comic before its even published… ill just say she has a backstory lol

5- eli

i hate him but think hes so silly at the same time. hes not spoken too much about in the comic but does have a few appearances, i’ll definitely make minicomics with him but despite not much being said about him in the book he actually has a history with glume and an entire profile on their equivalent to twitter where he posts about being an “alpha male” unironically. no, he cannot name 5 soap brands.

6- mark

hes a dead sassy asshole who has a backstory of his life that isnt really explored in the comics besides a small summary since he isnt too important plotwise. but again, along with the other characters with little appearances i might make minicomics oitside the book for him.

7- summer

little is explained about her life besides her occupation and a reference to how she died

8- violet and kevin

more character new to the public but they have a bit of lore and these kids wont be featured in the book but if theres a book two i might add them in. honestly they were made after i finished writing out the full story, i just wanted to expand the universe for funsies yk

9- anne

i feel bad this queen is so low on the list since i love her but i havent thought of a proper backstory for her. all i have is shes glumes sister and is used to kinda bring out glumes character more and is a supporting character. her backstory wouldnt even be relevant in the story as shes a background/sligh side character, but she still deserves one (all the characters that remain vague on lore do)

10- the bathroom ghost

no this is not hanako, in fact, this dude is not even close to being as cool. i cant say much but theyre bland and you only hear about their death. theyre yet another character that is new to the public.

if you actually listened through my ramblings about my ocs congrats, heres a cookie 🍪

if you’re interested in the comic tumblr is the place to be since i’ll probably talk about it most here

for those curious about the current state of Paranormal (my comic), i’ve decided to do all the bases traditionally. i filled two sketchbooks with a rough draft, but now im working on the actual comic itself on a new sketchbook. its fairly small so once i finish it, ill transfer that book to digital, then get new ones of the same size, and work on the comic segment by segment. honestly itll make the process seem smaller than it is so ill get done faster (i think idk). but so far im moving fast and the style changed again. i might post a sneak peak on here.

feel free to ask questions regarding Paranormal, the characters, or even specifically one character youre interested in.

okie bye :p

[itsalwaysdark]

invited my cousin to the thing wednesday i feel so awkward

[navire190413]

haha i got drunk and wrote like 2,000 words about my experience with learning japanese. read it sober and just sat in front of my computer like 😐

you know when old people talk a lot and sometimes its hard to tell if they’re trying to pass on wisdom or are just kind of full of themselves and want to talk about themselves? what i wrote was definitely the latter. i’m just an おじいさん who wants to drink and smoke and talk about myself and my hard work lol

one of my favorite 居酒屋 to visit on my way home from work is closing for good this weekend. its open 24/7 so it was always great for stopping by after drinking at the bar until morning. their squid and shrimp 串カツ are soooo good. i’m actually here now typing this on my phone. this izakaya is in a basement so i don’t have signal. i just end up scrolling through my photos or blogging in my notes while sitting here alone for an hour until my favorite bar opens at 7.

the last time i came here a server ive become acquainted with hit on me, and i didn’t pick up on it at all, so my reaction was kind of dull. i only realized he was hitting on me when he turned around and all the other servers were laughing at him bc they were all eavesdropping. he probably mentioned he was gonna do it beforehand haha. i’m so sorry. i would be totally down to grab drinks if i realized sooner 😂

he always makes me turn around and show him my backpiece when im wearing tanktops and croptops. and hes always basically yelling カッコいい！！its cute how not normal tattoos are here. i would never get these reactions in america but sometimes it can be annoying. yes yes i have a lot of tattoos. yes. expensive. yes painful. and then they find out about my scarification, which honestly most people in the states have also never seen, so then its a weird balance of explaining my love for body modification and not self mutilation.

money has gotten TIGHT lately. im literally courting my ex and bringing him to izakayas and nice restaurants every week and im going broke from it so i gotta stop hahaha. we did have a really good time last night, though. and hes always really grateful and respectful when im paying. he also initiated a lot of kisses and kept kissing my cheeks last night which was weird and not like him at all. im not gonna think about it anymore tho.

i am super excited about where we’re going on saturday. its an 青森県 restaurant and i guess they get fish delivered daily from there, so i hope its super fresh and tasty 😤. i unfortunately booked too late and couldnt get a private room, but i think sitting at the counter will be nice since we’re doing the all-you-can-drink course and itll be faster to get our drinks if we’re not in a secluded room.

my go-to drink for the past 2 years living here has always been highballs, but lately theyre way too strong for me. ive become obsessed with lemon sours, but because its not whiskey in them like highballs i become drunk super super fast. good for cost performance purposes but dangerous since im used to my highball drinking pace. i usually dont black out if i only drink for 2-3 hours on a work night but the other day i drank my usual amount, just this time they were lemon sours and not highballs. i was on the verge of blacking out returning home at only 9pm on a monday 😂

i can’t stop thinking about the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks ago. he’s american and he’s nice enough, but he’s been living in japan for over a year and cant even say すみません to get a server’s attention. he also doesnt eat meat, so i cant introduce him to yakiniku and yakitori which are my go-to. everytime we hungout i had to translate everything and guide him around tokyo. i brought him to an izakaya for his first time and had to teach him the words for squid and octopus. which he promptly forgot 2 minutes later. its literally taco and ika!!! we got lost in a department store one time and i had to ask for directions while he just stood there. it always felt like i was with a child who knew nothing when we were together. as friends, im more than happy to introduce tokyo and translate. but as someone who was obviously trying to be appealing to me, it was honestly a massive ick. i have no preference when it comes to what ethnicity or cultural background someone is, but i cant date someone who knows less about japan than me. it was a good realization actually! i always say i dont have a type, but i think im slowly starting to realize my type. he doesnt have friends so he would always say “lets go out and explore tokyo together!”dude i have been experiencing tokyo for 2 years. i have my favourite spots and my favourite neighborhoods and i know how to find good restaurants and i regularly go out and just do shit by myself because i can navigate it by myself. he also was expecting me to teach him japanese which was just soooo….

when you get to a level where you’ve lived somewhere long enough and can speak the language a lot of people expect you to be a free tour guide. when it comes to strictly friends with no expectation of me, im more than happy to plan a day of sightseeing and introductions but sometimes when i make friends with foreigners it feels like that’s all they want out of me. i mean it goes both ways. a lot of japanese men just view me as a fetish object. omg a white girl who i can actually speak to!!! maybe she can teach me english!!! ive never fucked a 6 foot tall white girl with tattoos!!!

for my established friends, i happily translate stuff for them and give them english lessons but man it feels like theres a lot of expectations of me meeting people here. from foreigners and native japanese people.

i have a lot of foreign friends who have lived here longer than me and dont speak a lick of japanese and dont have any plans on learning. i dont really feel one way or the other about it. theyve been here long enough and know they can get around and have fun without knowing the language. i cant imagine how tough that is sometimes so more power to them. but its always the people complaining they want to learn and want to understand and communicate but still for some reason just dont sit down and study or make an effort to make japanese friends so they can atleast pick up conversational japanese that i dont understand. why are you not studying???? sure its hard but just do it??? you dont even have to use textbooks. apps kind of suck once you get past the basics but its at least something you can do while riding the train and then atleast i wouldnt have to order for you at the bar after youve been living here for several months!!!

im a princess and a brat and am obsessive so studying is super easy for me. i studying during my lunch breaks and anytime im riding the train. i understand thats not the case for everyone, so i try to take the time to teach my friends who want to learn japanese important phrases for day to day life. maybe textbooks and studying isnt their thing, which is fine. okay i’ll teach you as we go. but even then they dont retain anything 😂 dont complain to me about not being able to speak japanese if you’re not going to put in a little bit of effort to atleast order a beer by yourself!!!! and if youre over thinking the difference between ください and お願いします before you can even say [名前]と申します, youre thinking too much!!!!! japanese is hard. theres a lot of info. if you start getting into super specific japanese before you can do self introductions, its gonna be a long long road. so im super happy i learned japanese in america where i went textbook step by step instead of being surrounded by confusing japanese all day long. when i try to teach my friends japanese they always somehow ask me about n2 grammar. and its just like. stop. ignore that. that does NOT have anything to do with you at this time. i was N2 before N3 grammar even made sense to me (i did get full points on n3 test despite none of it making sense to me though 😂) because i finally had context for it and could make the connections. without those building blocks and going step by step id be lost. and thats why you should study the language before coming to a foreign country.

god im judgmental.