#which is goals ig
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Palmer and Altairus
#i'm coming up with a little self-indulgent story :3#Where this woman‚ Palmer‚ was brought to the Land Of The Dead by mistake after a relative's passing#Death's Assistant rescued her from losing contact with her dimension by bringing her to the Limbo‚ an intermediary between the two worlds#Her main goal was to return home‚ until local conflicts and unexpected meetings with previously assumed imaginary friends#led her to question the real reason to be there ---#It feels right to create stories for these characters :o#and not just leave them hanging in an empty blank space (which is a constant pattern in most backgrounds of my art)#there are also other characters that show up but I haven't thought of their role yet#and I really like this idea of simplistic designs changing over time (10+ bonus points if it follows character development)#while really complex ones usually remain the same#so ig there's more to come??? unless I come up with yet ANOTHER self-indulgent story lmao#sbahdabwhdbahdhwqbadnwanwsm#starbsart
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1.5k notes and I post an audio of me singing a cover of a song (tbd) on my ukulele
You can reblog spam idc about that but like 5 comments max bc a lot at once kinda annoys me sorry 😓
#If it gets to the goal then I’ll post a poll probably for which song#Reblog bait#<- ig?? Just to be safe I’ll tag it as such#I might put people’s requests in the poll if I like the song requested idk
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my chappell roan watercolor is finished!! i hope it’s not too bad, i spent six weeks on it :)
#chappell roan#chappell fanart#watercolor#artists on tumblr#art#this actually took so fucking long#and it looks better in person i swear#i hope her hair is detailed enough#it definitely doesn’t look as good as other people’s in my class#i’m really bad at making them look real ig#which would be fine#if it wasn’t the goal
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world's most time-blind onion
#still thinking about how he had one shot at going back to 1985 and still decided to spend time changing into his extremely layered outfit...#marty mcfly#bttf#bttf fanart#back to the future#figured out his hair and now i've figured out his fit also B) hell yeah#i love drawing clothing :]#my end goal is to draw every single fit he's ever worn. because why not#hoping none of his other fits include the nikes. sick of drawing those guys#i'll take manually putting the dots on the grid pattern on his shirt over drawing those shoes. which i did also do btw.#so actually there may be no winning here. bummer! anyways#(just remembered his cowboy fit has the nikes..... such is the price to pay for Stupid Pink Cowboy Fit)#by popular demand the freckles are staying. did not know there were such huge fans of the freckles haha#he was supposed to be holding headphones in the denim jacket one but i got lazy so ig he's just fiddling with his collar instead#kit does an art#I FORGOT HIS WATCH IN ONE OF THEM NOOOO
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I’ve… I’ve been thinking lately…
#he is the ringleader!!!! basically he takes caine’s role in the circus#which I think is SO FITTING FOR HIM because he takes basically the same role in the game#and I also see omori as a very ai-like character anyway… like he gives those vibes and that’s how I try to portray him#his sole purpose and goal is to protect sunny from the truth. he’s basically programmed to do that and will do anything to perform that task#and keep that peace#going so far as to kill different incarnations of basil and even sunny just so he doesn’t have to face the truth and stays inside headspace#so. yeah….#hejejsjsjs#obviously Caine isn’t like that but there’s so many similarities between omori and Caine that i had to make omori the ringleader#it’s literally his role in game guys!!!!! aksjekeksksk#also been thinking about avatars for the cast… oughhhh it’s been very fun#nothing concrete yet but I have ideas#also yes!!! my phone is back so I can draw again#rejoice!!!!!#omori#omori au#omori omori#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc caine#ig?2!3£3!3£#omori mewo#she is mentioned so she is tagged#tadc bubble#same logic
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Happy new year!!
Some doodles I did today to unwind + test a lineart brush
#Dungeon meshi#mithrun#chikchuck tims#Laios please I swear you’re my fave I’ll draw you next Laios I promise Laios no don’t leave-#The mithrun one is so low resolution… Well it was supposed to be a quick doodle after all#Maybe i should post these sort of sketches I do more often#Coloring Chilchuck felt like therapy legit. Thank you dad#The mithrun one is a little fucked up but idk. It’s so aesthetic to me. Enjoy the many vers lol#Idk how long i’ll keep the new icon though#Hey my art style are you Chilchuck’s wife? Because I can’t help but feel like you left me for no reason#Jkjk my art style crisis usually stops whenever I just draw for the sake of it with no goal in mind lmao. Which is why I should do it more#Often!! I am so stubborn & stupid. Doing that shall be my New Year resolution ig#Y’all still here? Uhhh uh happy holidays good day!!
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I need someone to tell me that im not stuck here and things are going to get better. Also they have to know what they're talking about
#I need to be making more money than this#it always seems to start with that#but I feel like I wouldn't be as depressed if I felt like I was on the way to something else#if i could get out of here in about a year#if I was saving up for some achievable goal in a meaningful way#then the things that I hate about my current living situation would grate a lot less#And I wouldn't mind as much being so helpless to stop people defacing things and making things worse#but as it stands i feel like im being pushed down into a corner#which is exactly what i came here to get away from#its just that im not allowed to improve anything around me#To stay away from this noxious shit i guess im expected to never to outside and always huddle down with my fan on#because im not disabled enough to complain abt it#am I???#beggars cant be choosers#cant live in poverty housing and expect the neighborhood to be polite#ig#but how do i get out of it
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Announcing to the void that it is 12/4, and I have written THIRTEEN THOUSAND WORDS since the start of this month. That’s the update. Just wanted to share bc this is ostensibly a writing blog aksjfkdkfj
#writeblr#lost letters tag#like DUDE#can I finish this book before 2025???#remains to be seen but like maybe!!!#that goal was not really in sight before today#I’m writing the ending which always goes pretty fast#but not THAT fast geez#thanks holiday weekend#feeling some type of way bc#I’ve worked really hard to improve my mental health#and build writing stamina this year#the effort is working ig!!!#in terms of the actual Content I’m writing the end of LL#it’s the end of LL draft one#soooo scenes that have lived in my head since 2018#they exist now!!! wowza!!!!#best feeling ever
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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austin should just never say what vibe a season is going for ever again because i keep seeing people referencing him talking about palisade as a hopeful season (as something they're aiming for, at least) & well. how it didn't really shake out that way. people including me btw i have thought about this many a times (probably most during the questlandia game post Oh-You-Know-What happening!)
edit: where tf did he even say that because it was not the playlist thing like i thought. unless i just missed it 3 times
#it's one thing to have a goal (& even there: thing to keep in mind vs hard rule?) and another to set expectations#& it's not like i'm really faulting austin for that especially bc. if i remember right he said that first on the thing he recorded -#- for the playlist! talking about song choices in relation to the season!#i don't quite know where i'm going w that it's just. many people never heard him say that and DIDN'T have expectations and probably in some#- cases that meant they had a better time of it. and ig i wish i could've been one of those people#wouldn't have helped with all my grievances certainly but probably a few!#as is it kind of stuck with me#palisadeposting#palisade spoilers#ish.#ig don't know how i feel seeing it mentioned alongside more genuine(?) criticisms to make about the season#which i personally haven't even articulated for myself yet though i've seen a few i at least somewhat agree with...#anywho i just got jumpscared by slyvi liking my leapcas comic
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Kinda unfair/or unpredictable question but do you think at some point in the next books Jaime and Daenerys will interact to a higher degree? Or better question -- do you think that's a good idea? Jaime has so much personal trauma with the Targaryen family, it feels like it may be realistic to have a meaningful conversation with Dany. (If he's surviving his current predicament which I think he will :P) Though maybe it'd just be beneficial for Jaime, and Dany is not interested in dwelling on it
and i find it interesting that this jape is in the chapter where all this significant rhaegar talk happens:
all this could mean nothing, and these things are hard to predict, and i think the show especially offers very little in this regard considering how much the stories of these two in specific were shifted in certain directions, so this is all i am gonna say anon: i do think the set up for an interaction can be interpreted from the text. dany is “rhaegar returning” in some form, so maybe there is more to that “talk that never was” than just tragic irony. when and how and exactly what it would mean for them at that point? idk. i just think jaime (and only jaime, as he would likely be the last living “monster from viserys’ stories about RR” by that point: not only was jaime kept closer bc he was a hostage, but barristan doesn’t really dwell on rhaella’s abuse, and it is possible that he will not live to be the one to communicate the extent of the ‘real aerys’ to dany, he was dancing around it in the text so far thats fs + brienne knows about the wildfire plot but that would be significantly less personal, same with the pieces just being put together after KL goes up in flames imo, which they likely will be, but i just think it would be missing that ‘personal layer’) holds information that dany does want to learn, and him telling her could bring a lot of things full circle for them as characters (+dany and rhaella have a number of parallels, and i do think that piece of information for example, as painful as it is, would hold significance to her and her understanding of her family other than just a form of closure, especially relating to a major theme concerning the downfall of house targaryen and the abuse and oppression the women faced from their male counterparts following jaehaerys’s rule, the dance, complete patriarchal hegemony etc. and that whole downfall did culminate in aerys and everything he represents, and her experience with viserys is also an extension of all that). idk if jaime is meant to confess the wildfire/kingslayer thing in specific to anyone other than brienne (from a more thematic perspective), but who knows, especially if he does live past a KL going down in flames scenario, which is possible because there is a set up for him wielding widow’s wail which is there rn. the whole rhaegar motif in jaime chapters was always something that i found interesting (i have a very specific interpretation of a parallel/anti-parallel with the children that i think is actually unrelated to dany/jon etc, but i am too lazy to get into that right now.) but yeah he is the pov character with the second most mentions of rhaegar by name in the text as he is a key manifestation of guilt, the first one being dany obviously. if not, then george has bran + magic to get that info to dany ig. we will see in like 20 years lol
#ask#rhaegar is a manifestation of guilt tho as a figure so he is very much abstract in that sense and could be a lot of things#a representation of contradicting vows#for jaime in specific#then ig theres the kingmaker thing which can mean a lot of things#i always thought it would just be - him killing cersei would lead to aegon being crowned#or smn#but who knows#jaimes a kingmaker in a lot of ways tho already so it might not even be about the future#like we know jaime rues robert so he does have that underlying subconscious goal of ‘good king that never was’#but with tommen thats obv a failed project shdhnd#as we can gather from feast that he cannot make the vows compromise actually#but i cant ignore the glaring aegon/second dance of the dragons connection#jaime lannister
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reading on dbt stuff and like. everyone talks so highly of it and how effective it is but ehhhh ... im struggling to see how to make it work for me
#first it seems to require a lot of focusing on one thing at a time and bbg my adhd would never#and also. ik the goal is to acknowledge your emotions and thoughts without letting them take over and etc#but knowing myself i'll suppress them instead. which i already do a lot. i want to unlearn that; not worsen it#that and everything surrounding the idea of mindfulness makes me cringe a little. but thats on me#i'll pluck whatever skill i can manage and deal w it ig#hmm or maybe the treatment or approach is different for quiet bpd?#lua talks
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mavuika is confusing me and i don't like it
#so. you know how all of the archons except zhongli are at least subtly moon-coded and how this is very obviously deliberate#what with all of zhongli's sun/star imagery#now. mavuika's statues of the seven are holding orbs like the other moon archons#so at the very least she isn't god-king related like zhongli is#However i still have a hard time arguing that she could thematically be placed as a moon partly because she is The Pyro Archon#but also partly because with all the other archons thus far (excluding zhongli) there has been another person (archon figure or not)#whose goals/aspirations/etc they are reflecting in some way. that's why they're moons. they reflect the light of the sun.#mavuika - to our current knowledge - doesn't have anyone like that#one argument that i Can see working for her not being a sun like zhongli is that in teyvat the sun probably isn't actually a ball of fire#like. the stars aren't actually stars - they're rocks that are like fruits grown by the branches of irmunsul#and the travelers - who are canonically stars - are more like conduits for wishes than anything else#they actually work similarly to the gnoses because those are assumedly star fragments since they're the remains of another descender#(who we can assume was also a star because stars dictate fate and you have to have some influence over all of fate to be a descender)#so the gnoses grant power to the archons through granting the wishes of their people like mini shooting stars - that's why they're dangerous#when there isn't someone monitoring which wishes they grant and which ones they don't#Anyway. that was a bit off-topic but i guess you could suggest that the stars are closer to rocks than fire#and that mavuika is therefore not a sun (big star)#you could also argue that's she's reflecting ronova's light? ig ? idk#we'll have to wait and see tbh#sorry for such a massive tag dump lmfao
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So i was watching Castlevania today
And this line literally SCREAMED "i'm a Blight"
I hope it's not just me-
#castlevania#it's not a spoiler ig#i'll take this as inspiration for my fanfictions#which i was struggling to write today but still managed to reach my daily goals ffs#why is writing so hard#guys we chose the best hobby didn't we#owl house#ao3 writer#writing#writers on tumblr
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i don't wanna say too much but i've been working on a website that's essentially a social media platform except the only purpose is for finding shows. i'm still in the planning phase and this def won't go live for a few months at least but goddamn i am excited
#jam#i was already working on this a while ago#but my friend 7 posted recently 'someone needs to make a site just for sharing shows bc ig sucks for that'#and i'm like “OH FUCK I'M ON IT”#and then we talked abt it and she actually gave me some rlly good ideas#which is hilarious bc she's one of the least technically-minded ppl i know#anyways since then i've been making a whole plan to rebuild the project entirely in a way that makes so much more sense given its goal#and i rlly can't wait to actually get working on it
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