#which I think is SO FITTING FOR HIM because he takes basically the same role in the game | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

millidew · 1 month ago

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its been almost 6 years since kaito and ouma have infested me. here's me talking out of my ass for over 2k words

to love the ouma-kaito dynamic is to love the themes of v3. to see one of them as 100% correct and the other as 100% wrong is to hate the themes of v3.

there must be balance. which is one of the themes!

at first, they each represent one end of their spectrums: lies, distrust, and logic VS truth, trust, and emotion. but it's not all black and white— they're far more similar than they think

to get the obvious visual foiling out of the way: short vs tall, scrawny vs muscular, pale vs tan (relatively...), round eyes vs sharp eyes, cool purple vs warm purple, black and white vs a colorful galaxy, and a tight "straitjacket" vs what's basically loose pjs

they're visual opposites, but they're also both purple, charismatic leaders, would rather die than their let go of their respective roles of hero and villain, and both want to end the killing game. they're also both SO dramatic. they cannot be separated.

all this is to say that they're the same, just taking different approaches (i mean, just compare their early FTEs. what are you two FUCKING talking about. your ass is NOT a pirate kaito shut up). ouma hides drops of truth within his lies and lives to poke holes in others' poorly concealed lies. kaito talks about being honest, but is also constantly lying to himself and others. and it's so fitting for them to essentially die with each other.

lying your way to the truth, and 10 other tricks to surviving a killing game:

v3 is a game that asks: who are you? why are you even alive? what parts of you are really "you"?

in other words: what is true and what is a lie? does it matter?

the flashback lights are all lies. tsumugi can literally rewrite their "truth" as she wishes. and of course, there's the fact that they're all fictional characters come to life.

and there's the big lie of ch1, brought back in ch6. although this is less relevant to me, personally, because kaede fully intended and did try her damnedest to kill so either way she's still at fault soo

the theme of the survivors is that they all have a reason to fight to live even if the world is hell, because they're pushed forward by the connections they made— kaede's encouragements, the training with kaito that led to shuichi and maki's happiness, and himiko's memories of tenko and angie. even though maki loses kaito, because she had those good times with him that led to her change in self-worth, she'll be okay in the end. she's not enforcing her own loneliness anymore.

basically, "maybe the real reason to live is the friends we made along the way"

shuichi explicitly says that his feelings are true, even if they're born of lies. to lie, there has to be a truth. to be truthful, you can't lie. yin yang and all that

it's even shown with the game mechanic of perjury. kaede and shuichi can literally lie for the sake of finding the truth

he rejects being forced to choose between "hope" and "despair," breaking the cycle. it's pretty easy to apply this to the other dichotomies in v3: truth vs lies, trust vs distrust, logic vs emotion. even heroes vs villains.

ultimately, i think v3 aligns more closely with kaito's ideology, because of course truth and trust is a good thing....!, but not without poking massive holes in it too. because kaito's a prideful hypocrite and the game does NOT let you forget it <3 more on that later

little white lies AKA ouma is sick of your shit part 1:

"is the truth worth it? aren't feel-good white lies ok? what even is a lie?" ouma asks with his little hater heart. (ch1 and ch4)

here, we see ouma questioning the individual nature of common sense ("gut instinct", if you will)— how can kaede decide if his talent is a lie? what is a lie? if ouma is 99% lies by weight, what is ouma??? an annoying grape??

we all want the truth, right? but the truth can be ugly. that's what ouma's always showing.

this is something shuichi also tackles with his feelings on his own talent. by exposing the truth, he causes pain to others. but this isn't about him, so you'll just have to keep that in mind

in the death road to despair in ch1, it's kaede's optimism that causes misery to the rest of her classmates. they're lying to themselves when they try to do it over and over. again, ouma calls her out on it, pissing off kaito who supports kaede 100%. the idea they can all get out and become friends is…also really unlikely. and even with kaede's murder "for the greater good", ouma disparages her for doing it in the first place: she lost the moment she seriously considered the thought, and played right into monokuma's bloodthirsty lil' paws.

right after the ch3 execution, himiko still refuses to let herself feel… until ouma calls her out on it. stop lying to yourself. and they all let it out, crying together. it's a good thing, and spurs on himiko's arc to be more true to herself. you did a good thing, ouma. now onto ch4! yay!

the "truth of the outside world", and ch4 as a whole, is probably the most in your face way of showing this. but more on that later.

the boys are back:

if you want a good relationship with someone, vulnerability is key, one that ouma unfortunately can't replace with a lockpick. you have to be honest. maki and shuichi were honest to kaito, which let him help them out.

ouma is definitely not vulnerable, up until the very end. ouma's distrust of everyone pushes them away, leaving him alone— without the "reason to fight to live" the others have— living out of spite and determination, until he dies for that too. like maki, he reinforces his own loneliness, but unlike her, he never makes those connections that make him change into a more well-rounded person.

kaito's better than him, which is a really low bar, but the game goes out of its way to tell you that he's still hiding secrets and adamantly refuses to let down his hero persona, harming both himself and those around him. you are COUGHING UP BLOOD, you are NOT okay. while his sidekicks still know something is wrong, he refuses to truly let them in, instead just brushing them off.

and that pisses ouma off. at the very least, ouma's honest about being a liar. kaito, in his eyes, is a coward. (not only that, people still like him despite being a liar..... but that's probably more to do with kaito being way less of a dick).

ouma, in kaito's eyes, is also a coward. he can call ouma a two-faced coward as much as he wants, but pot, meet kettle

chapter 4 AKA ouma is sick of your shit part 2:

ok. seriously onto ch4 this time. it's the perfect set up to the insanity of ch5. the tension is insane. also, ouma does not shut up about kaito having a crush on him. ok man.

from now on, it's the kaito & ouma show, the truth & trust & hope & emotion & hero VS lies & distrust & despair & logic & villain show.

and the game puts kaito, and all his themes, in the wrong. poor gonta and shuichi are just along for the ride

the stubborn belief that worked so well for maki in ch2 makes kaito refuse to believe, despite the evidence pointing to it, that gonta is the blackened, endangering everyone. and this is the cause of kaito and shuichi's rift which ouma takes great pleasure in. i'm sure this greatly validates his own distrust and loneliness, seeing it as the superior option

kaito's a liar, shuichi's a liar, and gonta is...not a liar but still technically wrong. YOU'RE ALL LIARS AND KAITO/SHUICHI STANS. YOUR FAVE IS PROBLEMATIC. OUMA'S FUCKING PISSED

it's the hypocrisy that gets to him the most imo

does he know?

anyways, it's a great showdown between their two ideologies. up until now, i'd say the score was roughly 3:1 in kaito's favor, but now it's definitely more even. it even features ouma punching kaito instead of the other way around like last time: something made possible imo because of kaito's sickness, which ouma forces him and everyone to acknowledge by doing this

this is a massive L for the hero side.... can the sidekicks clutch this victory and save the princess?

(interestingly enough, note that kaito doesn't even seem to hate ouma after all that. at the start of ch5, he puts ouma and gonta in the same category as having snapped under the pressure due to monokuma. his feelings, of course, change later on.)

...

are you sure about that

yeah, the truth sucks sometimes, huh?

what now?

chapter 5 AKA the boys are back 2 AKA voyage without passion or purpose AKA the sickest chapter name ever

ch5 combines ouma and kaito's ideologies through their swansong, their magnum opus, their collective theatre kid dream

the hangar man. THE HANGAR. no more cameras. no more prying eyes. no more heroes. no more villains. NO PASSION (KAITO). NO PURPOSE (OUMA). WHAT'S THE POINT. IT ALL BLURS (probably because of the blood loss)

think about it this way: kaito is literally dying, hypocritically refusing to let his friends in. ouma is metaphorically dying, because he lacks the "reason to fight to survive" everyone else has, because he has no trust, no friends, no bitches... anyways

(also the poison, which is. you know. is also literally killing him but shush)

the closest he had was, imo, miu for a little, then kaito in ch5. but in the end, it's all spite, not connection, that drives him. ouma kills himself to prove a point, and they both die as a middle finger to the mastermind— a hollow victory, in many ways.

think about kaito sitting alone in the exisal, hacking his lungs out in the metallic silence of the belly of the beast, having just learned one of the truths behind ouma's act, then killing him, then having to lie to all your friends for the hope that ouma's final, crazy plan works out. he's finally stooped to ouma's level. he's so used to the smell of blood by now. does ouma's blood on his hands look any different from his own?

even kaito's motto: "the impossible is possible! all you gotta do it make it so!" is pretty much an admittance. you can make a lie (impossible) the truth (possible).

also ouma bleeding out looking like shit laying in kaito's galactic coat like a cape. kaito squeezing his eyes shut before before pressing the buttons. these images changed lives.

the lying truthersssss...working together!!! to literally pretend to be each other!!! to blur into one being!! trusting each other to see it through for their shared goal!! at first glance, maki thinks it's her fault— that ouma manipulated kaito using her, but kaito disagrees, saying it was for the sake of ending the killing game.

this is all to hammer home the idea that we shouldn't see them as "hero" or "villain." the cast sees them as it first, but of course, we know that's not so simple by the time kaito steps out of the exisal.

in the end, they fail, but kaito puts his and ouma's dreams in their hands. they can do it better this time.

plus, kaito finally stops lying to himself and others about being a liar, the thing ouma gave him endless shit for. it only took him 5 chapters

is it wrong to call "that was a lie" ouma's catchphrase?

i still can't believe maki believed him. love makes you stupid i guess

extra thoughts:

you might be wondering why i call him "ouma" and not "kokichi." i do the same with some other characters: kirigiri, togami (though i switch between that and byakuya nowadays), and komaeda. it's because i don't know them like that. we are NOT friends. "kirigiri" is out of respect however

don't you think ouma has his own "sidekicks," his "villain lackeys," if you will, in DICE?

kaito's execution music should've had the "reach for the stars" line from sdr2 and i'm still mad about it

and they should've both in that exisal idc

kaito somehow exited that exisal with a new jacket. it's my headcanon that, in respect of a fellow theatre kid, ouma stole a second jacket from kaito's room and put it in the exisal

VR au post game low(high)key codependent oumota is everything and i'll happily read 1000 fics about it

also just outside of the Themes of it all, and tbh my main draw to this duo... they're so funny. they are SO. FUNNY. THEY'RE SO GOOFY TOGETHER. STOP TRYING TO ONE UP EACH OTHER

they should run around and beat each other with toy hammers. it's enrichment.

this isn't like thematically relevant but their love hotel events really show how well they could work together. they want a rival to pump them up and fight back so bad!! they'd have the craziest vigilante beef

WHY IS THIS 2.1K WORDS/???!> i am so weak to rivals man

tldr: look at this meme.

tldr 2.0: a true kaito fan is also a true ouma fan and vice versa. you may not like it, but they're two peas in a pod. don't worry though, they're not happy about it either.

#my post #danganronpa #drv3 #ndrv3 #kaito momota #kokichi ouma #oumota #not really but like this is the core of any oumota propaganda imo #tw sui ideation #in the ch5 segment

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another-goblin · 7 months ago

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Spoilers for 2.3

Some thoughts, speculations, and headcanons about our little dialogue with Ratio (+more)

1. This tells me that Ratio and Aventurine are friends (or as close to being friends as both of them are currently capable of, which isn't much, but still). Yes, what Aventurine thinks about TB could have been them discussing their mission. But I choose to think that they just chat with each other sometimes, because they actually enjoy it. Aventurine feels comfortable enough to just share what he thinks about the people he meets, and he knows that Ratio is interested in his opinions, and he's right. He listens and takes note. btw people being actual friends is my favorite trope for romantic couples.

2. Ratio seeing his relationships with Aventurine, and our TB, and people in general as a teacher and a student and being constantly in his teacher mode made me think. Probably all significant relationships in his life were those of a teacher and a student. He cannot see himself in any other role because he has never experienced it himself. I wouldn't be surprised if even his parents provided him with knowledge and education instead of parental love. This may also be why he's so frustrated with people who don't fit these two roles: normal people not interested in bettering themselves through education, students who don't take studying seriously, most scholars, and especially the Geniuses, for not actively sharing their knowledge or doing anything to uplift humanity.

3. Ratio seeing their relationship with Aventurine in particular this way is appropriately weird and a bit unhealthy, in my opinion (but what did we expect from him), considering that they are undeniably close. But that's probably the only way he knows to show his care for somebody: to teach them stuff and help them better themselves.

4. On Avenrutine's side, he seems amused by it, in a good way (the way he playfully refers to Ratio in the descriptions of some of the 2.1 quests, "Your professor friend," and so on). He even seems to be a bit proud that an actual professor has taken an interest in him.

5. But what can he teach Aventurine? He might share his actual knowledge. I think the "Death" and "Dormancy" part of his note is him doing that. But he mostly sees his duty as a teacher in showing people that they can achieve a lot by themselves if they stop relying on higher beings who don't care about them and start relying on themselves (with little help from Ratio.)

But "relying on himself and achieving things" is what Aventurine has been successfully doing most of his life. So is it the "little help from Ratio" that matters here? Or is he helping Aventurine stop relying on his supposedly supernatural luck and realize how capable he actually is?

6. This. (btw 'philosophical zombie' means "a being in a thought experiment in philosophy of mind that is physically identical to a normal human being but does not have conscious experience" (from wiki), so basically just some weird concept in philosophy.) But what an admirably in-depth knowledge of his 'not partner' he's showing here. Are you equally interested in the inner worlds of all your students, doc?…

7. Anyways, that reminded me of what Jade said about the Stonehearts, even using the same word 'void'. So. Aventurine has a void in his heart, caused by his inability to protect people he cares about. It's very significant that Diamond gave him the power of Preservation specifically to help him fill that void, to be finally able to protect somebody he cares about. The problem is, he doesn't have anyone to protect anymore (he doesn't even see himself as worthy of protection). Until recently. So, and I'm being extremely self-indulgent here, if Ratio got in danger, Aventurine protecting and saving him would fill the void in his heart. And btw what can boost one's self-worth more than protecting somebody who's important to you? I mean, he should snap out of that 'I'm only worth the money my slaveowner paid for me' mentality sooner or later, I hope.

(the problem is, I'm not sure how it can play out now that he doesn't have his stone anymore. And he lost it, not protecting anybody but nearly killing himself and furthering the IPC's agenda. Although doing something like that without the stone would be even more significant)

Also, I hope Ratio won't realize that, and won't deliberately put himself in danger for Aventurine to save him. You know, for educational purposes.

8. He just runs around helping people, making sure everybody's okay, and, emm, 'enhance their living', that's his thing. And even broadly speaking, with his scientific discoveries, and him saving people on Herta station. And considering that 'everybody's my student' thing, I feel like he sees himself as responsible for everybody (in his own way).

And some people still think that he's selfish and egoistic. He even gets angry when we ask for an autograph:

9. Aaand that's the third time he disappeared in the middle of a conversation involving Aventurine. I understand him, though. As somebody who also 'detests noisy gatherings', group chats aren't much better.

------

ok this was supposed to be hidden in tags but i think tumblr found it too scandalous or something i don't know, i'll just leave it here: the more I write about Ratio, the stronger the urge to just call him Rat, you know, lovingly also whoops sorry, I'm physically incapable of writing short posts, it was supposed to be a short comment about their friendship, how much content can I squeeze out of a half-minute long dialogue?, the answer is yes, but I just had to get it out of my system

#honkai star rail #my stuff #hsr spoilers #hsr 2.3 #dr ratio #aventurine #raturine #ratiorine #aventio

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mellohd · 5 months ago

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EMH Marble Hornets AU!!

ok i know im not creative when it comes to aus but i thought itd be interesting to tell the story of MH through EMH’s story? IF YOU GUYS HAVE THOUGHTS OR QUESTIONS PLS LEAVE SOME IN MY INBOX!!! :-]( or even questions for the MH!EMH characters heh)1

Basically its just marble hornets told through EMH, for example instead of “tapes i found” story telling theyd open a youtube channel for tips and tricks on making your own movie while they make their own called Marble Hornets! EMH/MLA spoilersish up ahead

Heres the character correspondences:

Alex-> Jeff

Jay-> Vinnie

Tim-> Evan

Brian-> Michael!MLA

Jess-> Alex!EMH

Amy ->Jeffs GF(so sorry i forgot her name 😭)

“Masky”->Habit(which makes sense depending on the theories you go with for either series)

“Hoody”->Patrick (same as the last one)

Characters in cant figure out an association with:

Steph, Jess(Evans bestfriend) Shaun So they might just not have a place in this story idk

Since Mlanderson and EMH are in the same universe i thought id make Brian the Michael/Patrick of this story, except more involved. Instead of their being a shaun i think id like Brian to just go to MH crew, if ykwim. I did this cause the only other character i thought could fit Brian was Alex!EMH and I didnt like that.

My take on Masky is that hes just a more aware Tim, not a separate being (tho i do like to think of it that way for fun sometimes ha ha). Masky in my mind was in a battle against the operators control and was ultimately trying to help Jay. I think Masky would br Habit in this series cause of the theory that Habit is one of the first few iterations of Evan, thats why theyre similar and so compatible etc if you know the theory you know. That does mean that Tim isnt gonna act all ha ity, just more erratic i think, i havent gone tooooooo far into a characterization(or even a name) for Emh!MH Habit yet

“Hoody” I see as just brian and he was just disguising himself. in this au “Hoody” would be patrick. Let me explain,

Frim what i gathetef through my second watch of EMH and, my first of MLA , patrick is just Michael but remembers every single iteration, hes a similar being to Habit, thats why he has powers ig? Look i havent gotten too far into theories fir MLA the fandom is so dead i never see any 😭😭. I dont want to get to far into theories on other series anyways cause rhis is about my AU so ANYYYYWAYS i think brian would fit that its just brians story doesnt fit entirely with Michael, actually Tim would probably fit more now that i think about it. Oh god now im thinking of switching them again uhm wtv

I think the rest of the correspondences make sense if you think about it a bit. Jay as Vinnie makes sense to me because of boths compulsive need for answers even though its destructive to those around them. Jay wouldnt be as much as a villain in this like vinnie is (or maybe i havent decided muahaha). I also thought they fit cause they both do that weird thing where they constatly have to document everything.

I thought tim eould fit Evan just cause of the whole habit arc.

Alex as Jeff was more of a fill a role thing that eventually made sense to me. I did think of making him Evan and Tim Jeff, and im still thinking of doing this, but i thought the whole finding the gf arc would fit alex more. Alex would still be one of the villains i think. Like i said this would be marble hornets told through EMH lol. I might even switch it up and assign a habit type role to Alex instead and there be two patrick characters who knows!

As you can tell im still thinking this through so maybe mext post i make about this will be more solid. if youre interested to talk about this kore with me(obv my inbox) or i have a slenderverse discord i made with my friend heh tik tok smug emoji. come join if youre looking for more slenderverse friends(and if youre interested in darkharvest and mla especially cause i need more people to talk about that to 😭😭)

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tenpintsofsundrop · 1 year ago

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Loverboy

Bratty!Virgin!Spencer Reid x (Dom)!Fem!Reader (Smut Blurb)

Concept: You try your best to make Spencer's first time a good one. Spencer can't hold himself back, and makes it an incredibly memorable night for the both of you.

Word Count: 3,100

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Please note - this fic contains Dubious Consent. The characters agreed beforehand to use contraception in the form of a condom, and then one of them foregoes the condom without asking the other for permission. The characters are safe and everything in the fic works out.

Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: mainly smut/pwp; generally under-negotiated kink; mentions of the social constructs around virginity and the social pressures that men feel based around sex; this is Spencer's first time having sex and the reader is a lot more experienced; this is not an explicit or pre-planed dom/sub relationship, but there is dom/sub undertones to their interactions; Spencer is more submissive (and bratty/defiant - before becoming compliant) and the reader is more dominant/leading; the reader calls Spencer 'baby' and 'brat'; she reader uses she/her pronouns and has a vagina; penetrative sex/penis in vagina sex; mentions of fingering (does not take place during the fic); "just the tip"; unprotected sex - the reader and Spencer agreed to use a condom beforehand but Spencer pushes in without one (the reader secretly loves it, but doesn't want to tell Spencer because she doesn't want to feed into his entitled brat attitude and this could be considered dubious consent because he broke her consent regarding using contraception); spanking - the reader spanks Spencer (very mild pain kink); something that could be considered 'premature ejaculation' (but imo it's never premature, it's right on time); creampie kink - they both enjoy Spencer cumming inside of her; mentions of Spencer crying (from overwhelming sensations, not sadness or humiliation); overstimulation (toward Spencer); Spencer fucking into his own cum; I believe that is everything.

A/N: Originally, I had this idea when I was thinking about Lessons For A Genius, but I realized that it didn't quite fit the tone of that fic, so I decided to write it separately. I hope all you Subby Spencer lovers enjoy it! (Also can you tell that 'just the tip' is my new fav trope? lmao)

...

“You ready, baby?” You cooed, gently running your hands through Spencer’s hair.

You tried to keep that same soothing, sweet voice that you had been using with him all night, trying your best to keep his nerves at bay. You knew that this was an uneasy time for him - between the social pressure of being a man who had never had sex with a woman before and wanting to ‘impress’ you and his general shyness around other people. You just wanted him to be comfortable and at ease so that he could enjoy himself. Which, of course, was generally the point of having sex.

When Spencer had asked you to take his virginity, you felt incredibly honored. He was handsome, and despite him being ‘socially awkward’, he was charming. He had his own unique way of flirting, and he did have his choice of beautiful women that he could have fucked instead of you. There had been plenty of gorgeous women from his past, so you were surprised that he was even still a virgin in the first place.

But when he had been explaining it to you, he had mentioned that the ‘social awkwardness’ had played a big role. The nerves. He had expected that one night, he would simply kiss a woman that he was on a date with, and things would just naturally ‘go from there’. But it never happened like that. He never had that movie romance moment where it fell into place. So instead, he had asked you.

He told you that he found you intensely attractive, and - the part he hadn’t told you - he had been fantasizing about this for a while. He found everything about you utterly perfect. From the way your clothes hugged your curves to the way you looked dangerous suspects in the eyes and screamed at them without flinching.

(And stowed away as a deep, dark secret, he had imagined himself in that position many times - handcuffed to an interrogation table, screamed at by you until he was begging for mercy.) (But again, that wasn’t information he was going to just volunteer to give up willingly.)

So when Spencer laid it all out for you, fidgeting nervously and explaining that he finally wanted to know what sex felt like - you couldn’t deny him. He was too sweet, and too pretty, of course you couldn’t deny him.

Even though it was something the two of you planned, and you would have simply invited him over to your place for the night, he insisted upon a date night out - taking you to a lavish restaurant first. He said that he wanted to act like a gentleman before taking you to bed. And it was a lovely evening, so there were no complaints on your part.

You had taken him back to your place, and you had done your best to make him comfortable through the kissing, the groping, and showing him how to ‘satisfy’ you (again, upon his gentlemanly insistence). You were plenty turned on just by being with him, but you quickly found out that he was a swift learner with more than just books and very good with his fingers.

Now, it was time for the ‘main event’ - at least, the part that would make him feel less much like a virgin, marking that big milestone for him.

To give him control and make him feel more comfortable, you were on your back with your head on the pillows and he was sitting on his knees between your spread thighs. He had his body pressed pretty much flush against your naked one, savoring the feeling of your warmth. He was almost completely naked himself - save for his very Reid white briefs, barely containing his seemingly very long, hard cock. You hadn’t gotten a good look at it yet - just the outline of it through his underwear, and even tented, it seemed very impressive.

You really wondered how no one else had snatched him up as a partner yet.

He was hiding his face in your neck out of shyness. His nervous streak was oddly sweet, but it was something you had been trying to coax out of him all night. Even if you found it entirely adorable and endearing.

“‘m ready.” He hummed into the skin of your neck.

This sent pleasant vibrations through you, making you moan lightly as well. You rubbed your hands across the broad of his back, continuing to soothe him, trying to get his stiff muscles to relax.

“Okay, baby.” You told him. “I’m gonna take these off now, is that okay?” You posed, reaching down to the waistband of his underwear.

He nodded into your neck, but you weren’t entirely satisfied with that.

“Please use your words.” You told him.

It was only after the sentence left your mouth that you realized how ‘scolding’ it sounded. How condescending.

Oddly enough, it was that tone of voice that made Spencer’s cock jolt, and made him so buttery and compliant in seconds.

“You - you can take them off.” He muttered quietly.

“Good.” You praised him, your voice short and firm.

You felt yourself very specifically holding back from saying ‘good boy’ in response.

You hooked your fingers into the waistband of his underwear and got them down over his ass. The material did get slightly hooked up in the length of his cock, and you tried to take a peek between your two bodies to get a good look at his now exposed dick. But you couldn’t see around him with the way he had his face tucked into your neck. Spencer untangled himself and clumsily got the underwear down over his knees and eventually kicked them off.

He moaned when he jostled slightly and felt his cock nudge up against the wet heat of your pussy. You let out a hot breath at the feeling, tightly locking your hips in order to keep yourself from bucking forward and rubbing yourself across his cock. You didn’t want to overwhelm him with new sensations. And you didn’t need to tempt yourself with the idea of pushing him over onto his back, shoving his cock inside of you and riding him raw like he was nothing more than a toy for your pleasure.

This was supposed to be about making his first time good - not about chasing your own selfish desires.

Feeling curiosity flood him, Spencer finally pulled away from his safe haven tucked beside your head to prop himself up and get a better look. He put a hand on each side of your shoulders, looking down the length of your body to stare at the impressive heat nuzzling up against his cock between your thighs.

He had become well acquainted with your pussy when he had fingered you, and he already knew what a gorgeous, warm, wet thing it was. But seeing your throbbing wetness right up against his cock, getting to see that natural gloss so carelessly slicking him up - it made him truly realize the wicked reality that he was going to slide his cock into that wet heat.

He was going to fuck you.

It was a thought that made his head spin, quite literally made him dizzy with pleasure. He felt temptation so ripe in his veins as he got up on his knees a bit more and the bright pink head of his cock naturally found your entrance, naturally kissing right up against it. He let out a moan as that heat fanned out over his cock, begging to swallow him up. He wanted to be swallowed up by you, wanted to be consumed whole. He bit his lip, knowing it would be wrong to do it without-

“Hold on, baby, we need a condom.” You told him, trying your best to keep a firm, steady voice as you were overwhelmed with sharp jolts of pleasure.

Feeling the thickness of his cock against you - feeling him right there - it was almost too much for you. You were so tempted to roll your hips up and simply take him inside of you. You were so tempted to have him fuck you raw.

But it was not what the two of you had agreed upon beforehand. You had to be the logical one - you had to enforce the rules.

While you reached off to the side, to the box of condoms you had waiting on the nightstand, Spencer continued to stare at your glistening cunt with pure concentration knit over his features.

He was biting his lip with a near bruising hard quality, his brows knit so tight that he likely could have held a quarter between them. All of it was just so tempting. Feeling the heat coming off you; so different from his hand, so different from humping into his bed desperately at night, so lively, so perfect. The feeling of your perfect wetness coating the tip of his cock.

Something in his mind was screaming at him:

Just the tip. Just the tip.

He could press the tip of his cock into you without a condom, just for a moment, and it would be fine. He would know what your pussy felt like on his cock without a condom. And then he would pull it out again and put the condom on and everything would be fine.

Technically, he wasn’t breaking any rules.

He heard the foil wrapper crinkling as you tore it apart with your teeth and his need grew even more urgent under his skin.

Before he even fully made the decision, his hips were surging forward, and he was pushing his cock into you. He let out a throaty whimper as he felt more of that perfect heat and wetness enveloping his cock. He couldn’t have stopped at the tip if he wanted to - he likely couldn’t have stopped the movement of his hips even if someone had a gun to his head.

He kept pushing more and more of his length inside of you with a heaving, broken groan as he fully sheathed his cock inside of you for the first time. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as he felt your raw, wet cunt around him - no barriers, no asides. Just the perfect, unadulterated you.

“Oh god.” Spencer moaned, bowing his head to rest in your neck again as he began to pant furiously. He was trying to keep himself from fucking into you like an animal mindlessly, just chasing his release. He was trying to simply enjoy the hot, wet, tight vice as it pulsed around his hard cock.

“Spencer!” You scolded him harshly once again. “What the fuck?!”

Your pussy throbbed with the fullness, only now truly feeling how big he was, and fuck - he was big. He was stretching your pussy out so good, making you clench around him desperately, unconsciously trying to memorize every single ridge and vein that you could feel. Because of course, without a condom, you could feel every single detail of him, including the underside of his cockhead bumping up against one of those incredible spots inside of you that was almost never touched by any other man.

As much as you love it, this was bad. You had agreed to use a condom.

You dropped the condom beside your head out of shock. This had been the last thing you had ever expected him to do. Spencer: someone who had been so timid all night. Someone who had asked permission to touch your breasts just a few hours ago. That very same someone had just pushed into you without a condom, without even asking permission.

He had somehow morphed into a greedy brat in the span of a few minutes. And as much as that turned you on, you couldn’t encourage that kind of behavior in him, because it would turn him into an entitled monster. Every single instinct inside of you told you that you had to punish him for this, rather than spoiling him.

He had to learn how to behave.

“Spencer, you-!” You continued to use that sharp scolding voice, and unconsciously, it only turned him on more.

His hips flexed forward, trying to push impossibly deeper into you, and you bit your lip, forcibly holding in a moan.

“I’m sorry.” He whimpered into your neck, his voice entirely pathetic. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, oh-”

He felt your cunt clench around him, you becoming so turned on by his whimpers of ‘I’m sorry’. You couldn’t help but to love his pathetic sweet compliance. But then, feeling that wet heat tighten around him even more, he couldn’t hold back anymore.

He pulled his hips back and fucked forward once, and then - that animal thing inside of him took over. And he began fucking you at an even pace, chasing his orgasm inside of you as though you were nothing more than a hot, wet hole for him to fuck.

“Spencer!” You scolded in a sharp gasp, trying your hardest not to show a pleasurably reaction toward his bratty entitlement and ruthless possession of your body - something he had not yet earned. Not by far.

“Oh, I’m not sorry!” He moaned louder, lifting his head from your shoulder to give you an utterly filthy grin.

He couldn’t bring himself to be sorry anymore. Not when it felt this good.

It was one of the most wicked things he had ever done in your presence, and it made you very tempted to reach up and slap him across the face - wanting to slap that grin right off him. You just barely held yourself back from doing so.

He felt like he had won. At this point, he didn’t even care if it was at your expense. Right now, he was being so truly selfish.

He was entirely unapologetic in his movements, pounding away at your pussy like it was his own personal toy. He fucked like an entitled boy, like someone with absolutely no regard for his partner’s pleasure - and oddly enough, that only turned you on more.

It was a dizzying feeling that was only increased by how natural he seemed to be, especially for a first-timer. He was easily keeping up the hard pace, driven only by his pure, selfish need and chasing the heat of your pussy around him, never wanting it to end.

He hammered his hips into you evenly, becoming sloppy at points, clearly only chasing his own pleasure in a way that drove all of your instincts insane. He absolutely wasn’t performing - he wasn’t fucking you with purpose. He wasn’t trying to make you cum. He was using your body for his own selfish pleasure. He just wanted to get his dick wet like the selfish boy he was.

There was only one thought on your mind.

“Filthy brat!” You spat out.

Spencer couldn’t care less if that was good or bad, even though you hurled it out beside his ear like a cruel insult. He didn’t care if it was an insult - he was still getting to fuck your perfect pussy, he was still feeling you clenching around him as you huffed in his ear.

All he knew for certain was that you were dripping wetness around him, leaking down over his balls. You were a clenching heat that made him feel like his cock was finally home and he never wanted to leave it. He let out a victorious giggle in between moans as he continued to fuck you. Although you felt an orgasm building in your belly, you felt the overwhelming need to put him in his place.

You weren’t going to let him get away with this behavior, even if he did have a magnificent cock.

“Dammit, Spencer!” You cursed, bitter annoyance still ripe on your lips.

Before you could even think too much about it, you reached around his body and sharply spanked the broad of his bare ass cheek. You were desperate to find something that would get him back under your control. It wasn’t even your most powerful swat, seeing as you couldn’t get much heft from the angle of being below him.

But the hit left a mild sting on your fingers, and caused a nice smack of skin on skin in the room.

In a second, the sting of the hit across his ass had his hips stuttering in inconsistent waves as he flooded your insides with hot cum.

You felt a slight wave of disappointment as your orgasm dulled inside your belly, his cock stuttering to a stop and unable to keep up the pace that was driving you there. But then you were boiling with heat once again as you felt his cum leaking out of you around the base of his cock where the two of you were joined - you couldn’t help but to enjoy the feeling. And you loved soaking in the filthy knowledge that he had cum so quickly simply from being spanked.

He was definitely a brat who liked to be punished. Someone who needed to be put in his place by you.

You should have been angry with him for foregoing the condom, and cumming inside of you so abruptly. But you couldn’t find much anger there as he bit your shoulder and moaned hoarsely as his orgasm pumped through him. It only lit a bitter fire in your belly, telling you that you were going to keep him, because this turned you on too damn much.

Spencer moved to pull away as the clenching of your pussy around him became too much. But you weren’t going to let him get away that easily.

You moved both your hands to his ass cheeks, digging your nails into the flesh there. You clung onto him hard and made a rough movement, shoving him forward until his cock fucked all the way back into you. You moaned under your breath at this and he let out a tattered gasp at the pure overstimulation.

“You’re not done yet.” You told him, entirely demanding. “You wanted it so damn bad, brat. So go on. Keep going.”

Spencer moaned at this. He almost wanted to argue - he was tired, that had been so much for him.

But as he became dizzy with the feeling of hot pin pricks all over his almost numb, still somehow rock hard cock, he could find no flaws in your logic. He only wanted to say yes. He wanted to live inside your pussy forever. He realized that he never wanted to pull out if you weren’t going to make him.

He tucked his forehead back into the crook of your neck and began fucking into you roughly once again, battering his hips between the sharp prick of your nails in his ass and the hot pool of his own cum that he had left inside of you.

“Thank you!” He moaned out. “Thank you, thank you, oh thank you!”

“You better fucking thank me.”

#sundrop writes #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #sub!spencer #sub!spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x self insert #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom

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mister-mickey · 5 months ago

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Okay okay so this is exposing me as probably the cringiest person ever maybe but‼️ descendants au!

Okay so for anyone who doesn’t know the basic premise of descendants, all the characters are the kids (aka, descendants) of (Disney) fairytale characters, both villains and heroes. The descendants movies mostly focus on the villain kids and their redemption, and that’s what the trilogy is basically about (ignore the new movie, it sucks, don’t even bother watching it)

Okay so, Darry, soda, and ponyboy are the sons of Gaston because I think it’s silly. Darry is strong like Gaston, soda is good with the ladies, and Ponyboy is the biggest disappointment ever.

He likes to READ like a FREAK so Gaston hates his stupid little child. Gaston isn’t too fond of Darry either because although Darry is big and strong, he sucks with the ladies, and is also intelligent and dislikes his dad.

Soda might be Gaston’s fave, but even he isn’t perfect because he’s skinny and not tough. So they all have severe daddy issues lol

After that we have Dallas who is technically the main character because he steals Mal’s spot as maleficents child. (He’s a fairy haha so funny)

He’s like a little demon and we love/hate him. He does magic and all that. He hates his mom because… she sucks but he also lowkey wants her approval because she is the most powerful person on the isle. He has almost the same relationship with her as Mal does in the movies, so there isn’t a whole lot to change

I gave him horns because I felt like mal should have had horns

Next is Johnny! His mom is mother Gothel because none of the main parents seemed to fit him. They have a complicated relationship because that lady is crazy but she’s also really good at pretending that she loves him

Poor guy is so conflicted 24/7. He’s got long hair because mother Gothel has somehow gotten it into her head that he will eventually become magical.

And then there is twobit!!!! His dad is Jafar which I’m pretty sure was @crazability idea

This was mostly because he seemed very similar to jay in the movies, but also because like… it just works. We like it

He’s goofier than jay is because he’s twobit but I think he plays a similar role

Then Steve!!! Steve is Cruella DeVil’s son. He is very smart obviously because he’s Steve but since Cruella owns the only car then he is ofc the car guy

Steve is the same except he is deathly scared of dogs because of his mom lol. He HATES her she is absolutely off her rocker

Now after them is the auradon kids!! These are obviously the socs because like, come on

They get tiny doodles because I got lazy.

Paul is the son of belle and the beats! He is the future king of auradon and that power goes to his blond curly head. He is also hopelessly in love with the person he keeps seeing in his dreams (if you’ve read the descendants books you know, but if you haven’t, I’ll explain later in the plot section)

Cherry is Ariel’s daughter! She’s a mermaid obviously and I’m assuming she’s melodys younger sister. We made her Ariel’s kid because she’s a redhead lol. Cherry is super chill until she meets annoying Dallas. She’s currently dating Bob

Marcia is fairy godmothers child and she takes Jane’s role in the original movies. She’s kind of insecure (though not AS insecure) and it does affect the way she behaves

Bob is literally just chad charming if his name was Bob. Also if chad was violent. Bob is Cinderella and Prince Charming’s son. He’s very eugh I guess

Randy is the son of aurora and whatever her husbands name is. He dislikes Dallas because of that but I’ll expand on that further down

OKAY! PLOT!

20-25 years previous, the villains were resurrected and sent to the isle of the lost. This was as a punishment becuase apparently death was not punishment enough. Obviously the villains have kids and the heroes have kids, but the villains kids grow up in an incredibly violent and poverty stricken environment. Cruelty is not just encouraged, but necessary for survival. Nobody cares about these kids so they often raise themselves

Well, the good guys elect a king to rule over all the lands (auradon) and they pick the beast from beauty and the beast. Whatever. Well now Paul is about to be king (despite his father being alive and fine. Stupid descendants lore)

Paul has been having dreams about blue eyes for months. He doesn’t remember anything else. It’s haunting him and he’s been searching for the person with blue eye for so long. He eventually figured that the person may be on the isle, so his first decree as a soon to be king is for some of the kids to be taken off of the isle.

So Darry, pony, soda, Dallas, Johnny, Steve, and twobit get picked. They are carted in a limousine and taken to auradon. Now, these guys have an EVIL plan thanks to Dally’s mom

The plot is basically the same after this except dally is the one doing the magic, but Darry is the one with the romance plot.

Basically, dally thinks Paul’s is gross and he refuses to seduce him. They all draw straws and darry loses. Dally makes the love potion, darry gets Paul to eat it, and then darry has to deal with Paul being head over heels for him. Eventually Darry falls in love back (which is super scary for him) which makes him not want to take over auradon.

Dally is conflicted because he wants to take over auradon to show his mom that he’s powerful but he’s quickly realizing that she will never care. He feels stupid for ever wanting her approval and sticks with the people that he KNOWS will always love him (the gang)

Now, they all get their arcs where they realize that they like living in auradon and they like being happy and not on the defensive 24/7.

Steve gets the dog arc where he realizes that his mom lied to him to keep him under her thumb

Twobit flirts with girls and tells jokes like he does on the isle, but in auradon people act likes he’s special for being witty. They want to be his friend. They actually try to get to know him and it makes him realize that his humor was a sort of defense tactic. He realizes that he doesn’t want to be funny just as a defense. He likes to make people smile. (Also room for marbit where he jokes with her and makes her feel good and she is a little less insecure but still insecure because insecurity doesn’t just go away after one conversation)

Johnny cuts his hair! It was an accident and he felt so nervous he almost passed out, thinking about how mad his mom would be. But then the teachers helped him even it out and make it look okay, and made sure he was okay. He felt free and happy that he was given a choice. He realizes that he wants the space to make choices

Soda is used to feeling dumb. He doesn’t like to read or do much of that stuff. He leaves it to darry and pony. It’s never been an issue for him, until the teachers started caring. It was awkward for him having all his teachers offer extra lessons because he struggled so much. It was weird having adults CARE about his issues. He starts to hate his dad a lot more

Pony is clear cut tbh. He likes to read, he hates fighting, and gangs, and wars, and everything else that the villains DO want. He meets belle and they become besties. He was on the auradon side since the beginning tbh. He felt very validated swapping his stories about his dad with her.

But! Trouble still happens when Marcia tries to make herself “better” and accidentally opens the barrier. Maleficent comes, causes trouble, and dally defeats her with the power of friendship

Darry realizes that the spell on Paul wore off ages ago and that Paul really does like him, boom! Happily ever after!

For now. Descendants two will include the Shepards 😈 and other characters if anyone has ideas on how to make that work

Also forgive me if this is confusing my phone is super laggy and I’m having trouble actually typing

Also! @batidochokolat wrote a few cute little snippets a while back of this au and I’m still crazy about it

#the outsiders #darry curtis #dallas winston #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #steve randle #johnny cade #two bit mathews #bob sheldon #paul holden #randy adderson #cherry valance #sherri valance #marcia the outsiders #descendants #disney descendants

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cloud0177 · 6 months ago

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I fear I must make every interest mix with eachother so this is a komahina (centered) au now

(not taking any other role changes)

okay so hajime is mc, nagito is monika, chiaki is sayori, mikan is yuri, and.. idk for natsuki.. hiyoko?

I fear I may be eating with this it fits SO well (watch here)

(will someone draw this idea for little ol’ me… *bats eyelashes*)

it works more specifically for this video but just think about it.. natsuki and yuri already have the same relationship as hiyoko and mikan

yuri gets unstable and crazy during ddlc just like mikan out of nowhere even tho she was usually pretty shy before

natsuki is meant to be a tsundere which might not be so far off from hiyoko, since I remember her getting more comfortable with hajime once? Idk but still, that and how natsuki also bashes on yuri sometimes (the fight scene)

and then sayori getting deleted from the game, I mean, yeah you see her die but THEN she gets deleted. For the others I think they just die, so basically pretty much works with chiaki, other than nagito she’s pretty close to hajime

And monika? Nagito bc duh it’s a komahina centered au but also bc it just FITS. Nagito is SUPER smart and a bit crazy, he knows how to do things to get his way and because nagito is someone really important to the story regardless if you like him or not you HAVE to pay attention to him

*for chiaki, her personality doesn’t change from her in dr2 but the relationship is overall the same as ddlc

“my beginning and my end” that’s so komahina I died bc hajime woke up on the island only really knowing nagito from the start and then the last trial was Nagito’s death OH IM GONNA BE SICK 😭😭

“monika’s all that I need/monika’s brains and beauty/monika sees right through me” that’s nagito 🤍

“each day that passes by is tearing pages from my mind” HAJIMEEE

TRUST ILL REPLAY DDLC JUST FOR THIS AU

#danganronpa #nagito komaeda #dr2 goodbye despair #dr2 #hajime hinata #komahina #hinakoma #dr2 nagito #cloud0177 #dr2 hajime #clouds ddlc komahina au

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erroryeswifi · 6 months ago

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Yay! Thank you for responding to my last ask :) I absolutely love the family (Steve, Larry and Rob) Can I know your Mr. Small or Robert headcanons too?

Oughh This one’s pretty long, so once again putting it under a cut ⬇️

(Like last time, if u don’t care abt me yapping there’s some drawings down there too haha)

• Mr Small likes anime and cosplay.

The biggest reason for this is his cosplay of Sailor Moon in “The Ghouls” episode. But along with cosplay I feel like he just likes to dress up in general. He has a surprisingly large amount of outfits throughout the series like: The honesty bear (The sock), Criminal Bozo fit (The allergie), Classic Hippie fit (The Silence), The Small hours music video fits (The Singing) and a couple more that he wears frequently like his rollerblading fit and his meditation fit. And those are just the ones that come to my head first, there’s definitely more in the show I think. He also has a bunch of outfits in the comics but I haven’t read those (yet. I really want them)

Similarly Larry does the same thing actually. Although, it makes more sense for him since he does it specifically for work reasons (And we see him so much more often). The thing is about Larry’s outfits is that I think are especially cute is that he dresses up for his role (specifically as a stereotypical worker you’d expect to see in whichever store he’s in) even if there isn’t a specific uniform. I’ve made a post about this before right here. Basically something I noticed is that he puts on temporary tattoos for a few of his jobs, not to mention he literally put on a fake gotee for his barber outfit. I like to think Larry is too busy to have his own hobbies but he accidentally adopted dressing up and he thoroughly enjoys it, even if he’s not exactly aware that he’s doing it.

• Rob takes both of Larry and Steve’s last names after being adopted.

I’ve thought for a long time which last name was gonna be their family last name but I was sooo hung up about it cuz both Larry and Mr Small’s last names are pretty important to their work. Larry is known all over town for being “Larry Needlemeyer” so it would be a pain to get that changed for him and be bad for his publicity as a well known worker. As for Mr Small he’s literally a teacher, everyone at his workspace adresses him by last name so it would be strange for him to change names as well. Basically what I’ve settled with for now is that they would share a hyphenated last name. So Mr Small’s would be “Steven Needlemeyer-Small” and Larry’s would be “Laurence Needlemeyer-Small”. This same thing would apply for Rob with him being “Rob Needlemeyer-Small”. I feel like this would be the best way for them to share a family name while staying consistent and least confusing. Plus it won’t affect neither Steve’s or Larry’s jobs all that much.

• Rob has a million nicknames

We all know the gag about Rob being called different names. I think it would be fun if when Larry and/or Steve calls for him (whether they need help or he’s in trouble) they call him by different variations of “Rob” like: Robert, Robbie, Roberto etc… I think his legal name would be still be just “Rob” tho, there’s really no reason for it to be anything else as that’s the name he remembers after getting out of the void.

• Mr Small is really bad at relationships

The thing about Mr Small his the he is one of the few middle aged adults in the show without a spouse or family members at all. Almost all of the middle aged adults in the show are the same age, we know this because they all went to school together but most importantly because they all went to prom together. My point is, almost all of the people he went to school with are either married, dating someone or have children of their own. Meanwhile he is single, no known family and doesn’t seem to have many friends outside of work. We even see him talking to Mr Corneille about his struggles online dating (The Wish), admittedly he wasn’t on a dating website but rather a pizza delivery app but that even further shows how he’s not super good with social queues and close relationships as he couldn’t tell the difference.

To contrast Mr Small, Larry is super good with people interactions. Obviously, with his work he needs to be. But as far as romantic relationship go, I think he’d be a very stereotypical good boyfriend type. Where he’d take his dates to nice restaurants, buy them flowers or go for walks. He likes things simple and classic.

• Rob likes video games

Idk I don’t really have a reason for this one. I think he’d constantly play Super Smash Bros on a Nintendo switch he was gifted for Christmas or smth lmaoo. The idea of him ragging online is very funny to me, especially if it’s stupid simple kids games where there isn’t much brain power to do them. He’d stream “Playing Fireboy and Water girl by myself!” if Larry let him.

Okay that’s already too much writing for one post, but if you wanna know more feel free to ask for it! ❤️

(I may not answer right away, but I appreciate the asks really!)

#tawog #the amazing world of gumball #mr small #steve small #larry needlemeyer #larry tawog #mr small x larry #smallarry #rob tawog #tawog rob #ask

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mysticeclipses · 15 days ago

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Call Of Duty Modern Warfare Catverse

So, I've been sitting on this thought for a while. There's something about hardened military people with cats that just tickles me, and imagining the COD men and women having jobs that center around taking care of cats in one way or another has taken over my mind completely. And as such, why not have them own and work in cat cafes, rescues, pet hotels, the whole shebang? And yes, you'll notice that Kate, Valeria, Farah, and Alex are missing because I haven't narrowed down exactly what I think they'd be doing in this universe, so if you have any ideas don't be afraid to let me know! Same goes for names for their businesses, as I haven't been able to think of anything that fits. I'll probably expand more on this at a later date, but in the mean time, if you have questions, ask them! I'd love to ramble about this little idea of mine.

Jonathan Price: Owner of the first of the big three cat cafes in London, John’s cafe has become his second home, a place where he takes care of any cats that are found injured or are older than most. John provides the less fortunate felines a place to relax and become acclimated to humans, heavy war-torn hands developing a gentle touch for the felines. He retired from his position as Captain years ago, the stress of his military career and countless near-death experiences feeding into unhealthy coping habits that were heavily affecting him physically and mentally. Now, he feels at peace with himself and is happy with where he is at life, no longer wondering if he’d live to see tomorrow. His cafe has adoptable and non-adoptable cats, so they will often host special promotions for their adoptable cats, though he had to ban Nikolai from coming to those events. They already have 10 cats at home, they don’t need any more, but John always finds it funny seeing his husband disguise himself to sneak in to the events. Nikolai stands out like a sore thumb every time, and John always unmasks him, planting a kiss on his lips before sending his husband on his way.

Nikolai: Husband to Price and rescuer, Nikolai stops by at least once a week with new rescues to be integrated into the cafe, sometimes stopping by just to see his husband and his team. Often wandering the streets of London and even traveling to other cities when needed, Nikolai seems to draw the attention of cats wherever he goes, which thankfully makes his job of rescuing much easier. With John’s help, he turned the basement into a recovery space for cats that couldn’t immediately be taken to the cafe, having learned some basic veterinary work for cats with basic injuries and ailments, though he’s still a frequent visitor to the local veterinarian office. He was the one that managed to convince John to retire in the first place, as he couldn’t stand seeing his boyfriend at the time kill himself slowly, and actually proposed the idea of starting the cat cafe after they had gotten married. He is also the reason behind why they now have 10 cats, and whenever he finds out John is having another adoption event, he tries to sneak in. It always fails, but it brings a smile to John’s face every time.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick: The solo barista and self-appointed DJ, Kyle was the first to join John’s cafe only a month after it had opened, falling into his role the quickest out of all the employees. Charismatic, sassy, charming, and stubborn as a mule at times, he picked up on the recipes and techniques for making coffees and teas like it was second nature. Kyle gets people in and out of line at a record pace, and has the best recommendations for drink and pastry combinations for newcomers. Kyle was medically discharged from his role as Sergeant after an accident in a church during an operation, where a helicopter shot the floor apart from under his feet, sending him tumbling several feet too many to the ground before a chunk of what remained fell on top of him. Three of his lumbar vertebrae were fractured, his left sciatic nerve was damaged, and his right femur was broken. It took months of physical therapy before Kyle was able to walk without assistance, and even now, he still deals with intermittent back and leg pain. There’s a chair behind the coffee bar for him to sit on and John keeps his spare back brace in his office, along with plenty of pain meds and heat pads. Kyle’s found comfort and brotherhood with his boss and fellow employees, and when he’s not busy making drinks, he can be found chatting with Soap or cuddling many of the cats.

Simon “Ghost” Riley: Quiet and reserved, Simon is the lead baker and pastry chef for the cafe, having joined the team around two months after Kyle did. Often clad in all black clothing and sporting a black mask that covers his face from nose to chin, Simon prefers to stay in the cafe kitchen, working quietly on new pastries and making sure the display case is always fully stocked until the end of the day. Cakes, cookies, croissants, donuts, tarts, macarons, eclairs, cinnamon rolls; you name it, Simon can bake it, and he finds it very therapeutic too. Simon was also medically discharged from his role as Lieutenant after an incident involving a man named Manuel Roba, having been tortured physically and mentally before he was tossed into a coffin and buried alive, and while he managed to get revenge on Manuel, it left him more broken than he wanted to admit. After many tough sessions with a therapist, Simon knew he needed to start trying to do something other than rot in his apartment alone, so he took up baking as a hobby. Baking taught Simon that he was capable of more than destruction, that he could make beautiful things despite the dirt and blood that stained his hands. And when he landed his job under John’s watchful eye, Simon was able to put the pieces of himself back together with the help of his newfound brothers and some loving felines.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish: Loud, boisterous, confident, chatterbox, all words used to describe one of the later additions to the cafe Johnny, who joined the team seven months after the cafe opened, is in charge of taking care of the cats directly. Whether it be organizing a feeding schedule, clipping their nails, giving them baths, brushing their teeth, or grooming their fur, Johnny is always busy. He’s also the only employee that’s allowed to use John’s credit card, seeing as he often has to go out shopping for food and treats and toys and whatnot. On top of all that, Johnny has also taken over as the cafe’s handyman, quickly fixing any problems that may arise; whether it be behind the coffee bar, in the kitchen, in John’s office, he can fix almost anything on his own or with an extra pair of hands. Johnny chose to leave his Sergeant role after taking a near-fatal shot to the side of his left temple, though some profound hearing loss from all the explosions he created certainly didn’t do him any better during his recovery process. It took Johnny a while to get used to his new hearing aids, and for a while, he detested wearing them because they reminded him of what he lost. Only after getting hired at the cat cafe did Johnny start to become more comfortable with his hearing aids, letting his newfound brethren decorate them to better fit his outgoing personality, and fitting himself effortlessly into their dynamic without disrupting it too much.

Gary “Roach” Sanderson: The youngest and newest addition to the cafe, Gary is the resident nightguard and secondary handyman to Johnny, having joined about a year after the cafe had opened. Gary is the quietest of all the employees, often only communicating through BSL or writing on a notepad that he keeps in his back pocket, but he’s the most expressive of all the employees despite that. He wears a tan face gaiter that covers him from nose to chin, and can sometimes be seen with two homemade antennae secured to his hair with small clips, which the cats love to play with. More often than not, Gary is only seen at night when he comes in to watch the cafe, but if Johnny ever needs a spare set of hands, he’ll come in to help when Nikolai isn’t available, albeit rather sleepily. Gary also chose to leave his Sergeant role after being betrayed by his general, getting shot in the chest and nearly burning alive before someone in his squad managed to save him. He was left with many burn scars and damage to his vocal chords after so much smoke inhalation, making his voice gravelly and painful to use for long periods of time, so hearing him speak is considered a privilege, along with a sign of trust among his fellow brothers in arms. After so long of feeling undervalued, underappreciated, and unconfident, Gary has found a place that sees his importance and makes sure he knows it.

Alejandro Vargas: Co-owner of the second of the three big cat cafes in London, Alejandro’s cafe takes in cats that are rescued from abusive or neglectful homes, spending countless hours of his time gaining their trust in order to get them comfortable around other cats and humans. He also took the time to put higher perches and hiding spots into his cafe for the cats during their adjustment periods, so he always lets patrons know that some cats are more skittish than others and to let those cats come down on their own accord. Alejandro is not afraid to confront patrons who disregard the rules that are set in place and has banned several people from coming back, though it isn’t something he particularly enjoys doing. Alejandro is still Colonel of Los Vaqueros, and now that they’ve finally started cracking down on the Las Almas Cartel and getting closer to putting El Sin Nombre behind bars, he’s allowed himself to take a step back and explore what else he wanted to do with his life. Still, every few months, Alejandro will fly out to Mexico to be back on the field with his team and even offers them jobs at his cafe for when they finally clean up the streets of Las Almas. When he’s not busy with the cafe or working in Mexico, Alejandro often visits the other cafes with his boyfriend, Rodolfo, who gives Alejandro a reason to stay safe while he’s away.

Rodolfo Parra: Co-owner of the cafe alongside Alejandro, Rodolfo, or Rudy as he’s better known as, is an everywhere all at once presence in the cafe, often floating between areas to help wherever it’s needed. Whether it be behind the coffee bar, in the kitchen, at the register, with the cats, or in the office with Alejandro, you’ll rarely not see him working. He also seems to be a cat whisperer, at least that’s what the patrons believe, as he’s the only person certain cats feel comfortable enough with to come down from their perches. Rudy’s clothes are also constantly covered in cat fur since there’s always a cat following him around, and they even enjoy climbing onto his shoulders like he’s their own personal chauffeur. Like Alejandro, Rudy is still Sergeant Major of Los Vaqueros, he’s just on a more extended leave per Alejandro’s request, or rather demand. After a building fire nearly took his life while they were searching for Hassan, Alejandro basically made Rudy take a break from work and join him as his cafe, and Rudy honestly found it both adorable and annoying how much Alejandro fussed over him. He’s finally being allowed to join Alejandro and Los Vaqueros in their pursuit of El Sin Nombre, and as annoyed as he gets with being under Alejandro’s watchful eyes, he wouldn’t change a thing. Reminds Rudy that he has someone who cares right next to him.

Phillip Graves: Owner of the last of the big three cat cafes in London, Graves and his cafe takes in exclusively black cats, giving the most misunderstood felines a second chance to find a home. A cat person at heart, he started his business in remembrance of his childhood pet, Speck. Speck was a grey ocicat that had garnered the nickname ‘Shadow’ thanks to how it would follow Graves around like his shadow. Graves created his business a few months after leaving the MARSOC Raiders, unable to stomach seeing so many men lose their lives while the Generals and Commandants sat pretty in their offices. He hires fellow ex-military men and women, and after a week of working for him, they become one of his ‘Shadows’. He cares very deeply for his employees, pays them handsomely, makes himself a part of their support system, and often hosts parties or celebrations at his home for holidays and birthdays. Graves will and has dropped whatever he’s doing in order to be there for his employees when they need it. When Graves isn’t busy working, he can often be found at the other cat cafes, simply acting as an annoyance in the corner booths he likes to inhabit. He’s a bit of a pain in the ass, but with his suave charm and southern accent, it’s impossible to stay mad at him for very long. Especially not when he breaks out his cat eyes or magically pulls the cutest cat from his cafe out from his jacket as a bribery tool.

Vladimir Makarov: Located near the heart of London is an upscale yet affordable pet hotel, owned by the passionate Makarov, that takes in a high amount of cats compared to any other pet, so much so that it’s now considered a cat hotel instead of a pet hotel. Makarov wants to give any pet that comes in through the doors a relaxing and lavish experience while staying, so he makes sure the rooms are furnished to a tee, the food is of the highest quality, everything is clean, and there’s always someone around to play with the cats so they don’t get too antsy. He also has a bit of a love-hate relationship with John and Nikolai, as while they’re some of his best and well-paying customers, their 10 cats can be such a headache at times. Sure, they can be the sweetest angels when they want to, but there’s something about being at Makarov’s hotel that turns them into the biggest menaces he’s ever seen. And they can act so spoiled, so Makarov has required the two men to bring food and toys from home so their cats will behave more often. Makarov’s business was initially met with some hesitancy, as he could come off as cold and unattached from an outside glance, and he had no issues with taking cats or other pets from owners that were clearly neglectful despite their protests. He has a close relationship with the other cat cafes because of this, and while he wouldn’t consider them friends just yet, Makarov finds himself appreciating his collection of acquaintances and how closely their businesses support each other.

#cod #captain john price #cod nikolai #nikprice #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #gary roach sanderson #alejandro vargas #rodolfo parra #alerudy #phillip graves #vladimir makarov #cod au

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petalkitshadow · 19 days ago

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Talking About: Appledusk

So, Appledusk is a character who my interpretation of probably gets questioned the most by readers. Which is understandable! He's not really an antagonist in MV; or, at least, the reader is supposed to understand in MV that while Mapleshade views him antagonistically, the narration is biased into her favor due to the story being from her POV. But the role he takes on in PkS is quite actually antagonistic to Petalpaw and her struggles.... so I thought it would be interesting to dive into it and explain my thoughts behind why I wrote him the way I did!

So - I want to start out by saying that Appledusk is a fictional character. It doesn't bother me if you like Appledusk, or view him differently than I do. I just happen to dislike him, which I think is pretty clear from how he fits into Petalkit's Shadow, lol. But even if I dislike him, I still wanted him to play an interesting role and serve his purpose, which involves making him as frustrating as possible!

When coming up with ideas for how characters will be in PkS, I often don't have much to go on. Mapleshade is really the only character from the cast who has a ton of focus in the canon books. Appledusk is one of those characters who falls a bit in a middle ground. He has enough going for him in MV that you can get a basic idea for how he is, but you still gotta do a lot of legwork on figuring out deeper aspects of his character. for PkS, I look at the characters' actions and go, "what kind of person would do this?" and then write the kind of person who I think would do that, basically.

Appledusk, he struck me as being very focused on self preservation. When he's with Mapleshade in private, he has no problem being loving to her and the kits. But the moment he might face repercussions - repercussions Mapleshade is already facing, he becomes detached and cold. What stuck out to me is how Mapleshade kept thinking that Appledusk never asked the kits' names. Now, Mapleshade as a narrator is biased. But she's right - Appledusk never asks what the names of his children are. He gives no outward signs of grief when faced with their death, and he makes no attempt to speak privately with Mapleshade after the kits drown. Of course, anger is a very valid form of grief, as we all know from Petalpaw. but Appledusk then going on to throw Mapleshade under the bus, and not show her a shred of sympathy even though he is currently suffering from the exact same prejudice that cost Mapleshade everything, speaks to me a lot about his values. When faced with his supposed loved one at her lowest, with nothing left to lose, his reaction is to distance himself from her as much as possible in the hopes that he will be punished less. It's cowardly, it's infuriating, and makes him seem so, so cruel to me.

And then, there's Reedshine. Reedshine in canon irks me a lot, in a meta sense. She's been hurt in similar ways as Mapleshade. Appledusk cheated on her too! But she immediately forgives him, and shows no conflict about Appledusk's actions. She's given no room to grieve or to hurt, she has to immediately come to Appledusk's defense. Reedshine and Mapleshade were both made to bear pain that Appledusk had no interesting in helping them shoulder.

To me, it really felt like Appledusk took the women in his life for granted. Why else would he have an affair, and not confess to it until literal, physical, damning evidence was put on display for everyone to see? Did he consider his own feelings, his own wants and desires, to be more important than that of Mapleshade, or Reedshine's? Mapleshade, with her penchant for cold-blooded murder, is definitely a worse person than Appledusk. But Appledusk's cruelty, I think it gets more under my skin because it feels real. How many serial killers do you know? probably none. But how many indifferent men who think women are just too emotional do you know? how many half-rate, self-absorbed fathers do you know? probably a small selection, at least.

So, when coming up with the basics for PkS, I imagined in the wake of this fiasco, Appledusk would be most focused on his own image, like he seems to be in canon. He wants to go back to being an esteemed, respected warrior. What's the best way to do that? Is it to step up, and be there for his traumatized daughter, offer her guidance and try to to fill the void left by losing her other parent?

No, of course not. Because to Appledusk, his daughter is a constant reminder of the mistakes he's made. He doesn't want to reckon with those mistakes, and he doesn't want to consider that he did something wrong.

In a way... he is a lot like his daughter. (Petalpaw would kill me if she could read me typing this, lol). They both are set in their ways, and very, very stubborn.

So, tl;dr... Appledusk in PkS is an extrapolation based on what I interpret from his character. But he's a character with so little to go on I think there are many ways to interpret him. This is just my thought process about him!

#talk

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maxdibert · 2 months ago

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Hi. Since you defend Snape's actions for being a victim of his socio-economic circumstance, would you defend Voldemort in the same way? After all he grew up in an emotionally and financially neglectful orphanage, during world war 2 at that. Do you think his actions are also a circumstance of his upbringing? Could he have changed? Was his future violence influenced by being stuck in a house, as a perceived muggleborn, that held prejudice against muggleborns and could have been therefore ostraziced or bullied just like Severus was? Of course Tom had a huge advantage of being attractive and charismatic and had the type of personality that allowed him to "thrive", but still he suffered a lot and I would even say he suffered more than Severus. What do you think?

The thing with Tommy is that Rowling basically labels him a psychopath from childhood because she literally says that since he was conceived through a love potion, he cannot feel love himself. So, she already frames him as a person with antisocial conduct disorder, which I’ve always thought is nonsense because you can end up killing people en masse without having been conceived without love. Rowling's idea of love and its consequences is entirely conservative and has very misogynistic undertones regarding the role of women in the equation, especially when it comes to maternal love.

The fact that she blames a "bad mother" and not the father who left without taking responsibility for his offspring is sexist as hell, but well, we're not here to talk about how Rowling lets her male characters get away with behaviors for which she would crucify any of her female characters while at the same time having female characters whom she only treats positively if they adhere to traditional notions of femininity related to motherhood but condemns them harshly if that traditional femininity involves personal tastes, hobbies, or personality traits. Rowling, you’re a fucking misogynist with a highly patriarchal view and a desperate need for male validation, but I’ll let you be for now.

I’ve always thought that if Dumbledore hadn’t stigmatized Tommy from the start, maybe things could’ve been different. But he labeled him as a sociopathic child from minute one and abandoned him to his fate. He saw a child with obvious behavioral problems in an utterly dysfunctional environment with all kinds of deficiencies—an orphan left to fend for himself in a post-war orphanage. He decided the kid was bad and stuck that stereotype on him throughout his life.

I don’t know if, with better treatment, he could have turned out to be a more decent person because Rowling decided he should be a sadistic sociopath from the cradle. But there are functional psychopaths everywhere. Top company executives are functional psychopaths, high-ranking officials are often functional psychopaths, and celebrities can be functional psychopaths. You can have an antisocial personality disorder and still be functional if treated properly. Could this have happened with Tommy? I don’t rule it out, honestly.

What I am sure of is that Tommy had a lot of resentment toward Dumbledore, and that resentment wasn’t unfounded. Dumbledore left many boys and girls who didn’t fit into his ethical and moral standards, or whom he simply found too complicated to manipulate, at the mercy of the "dark side." It’s no coincidence that those boys and girls ended up making wrong decisions.

Dumbledore was a figure of authority in the magical world, especially at Hogwarts. He was someone from whom everyone sought validation, and probably teenagers without strong parental figures needed that validation even more. And he made sure to despise many of those teenagers instead of working with them and trying to guide them properly, which is the role of a good teacher—especially one directly responsible for them during the school year.

I think if the Marauders started to disgust me when I saw the SWM scene in the fifth book, Dumbledore started to make me sick from the sixth book, when his treatment of Tom is exposed. You can’t label a child like that and then try to undermine his ambitions constantly when he’s a teenager. You’re only going to provoke increased resentment and opposition to everything you represent.

I also think Tommy has many parallels with Snape in the sense that both had Muggle fathers they clearly hated and despised. Their hatred toward Muggles likely began there, compounded by living in post-war conditions and being in a miserable orphanage of that era, which must have been hellish. They both probably wanted to distance themselves from everything that being a Muggle represented.

It doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me that both characters are half-bloods with Muggle fathers and have issues with Muggles because their experience outside the magical world—their experience with Muggles and the Muggle side of life—was absolutely dreadful. But at the same time, they are quite different because Voldemort, according to Rowling, couldn’t feel love and, I assume, couldn’t feel affection either, besides being a narcissist hungry for power.

Although, if you ask me, at its core, I think he was just a sadist angry at his parents. It always comes down to the parents, right? xD

#tom riddle #tom riddle jr #voldemort #lord voldemort #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle analysis #tom rridle headcanons #voldemort headcanons #dumbledore #severus snape #albus dumbledore

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mgopinoon · 4 months ago

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there’s a bit in Kaia’s times article that reminds me or lends me to think that she wrote it about Austin and her.

There’s bits where she talks about reading a story about the end of a relationship and how that’s helped her, and 2 poets who while they’re relationship ended they still conversed through their poems to one another, or the bit about we are more than what people perceive of us.

None of those things have to mean anything, and we can’t know when she wrote the essay, however, given everything it’s interesting to think about.

Also the bit where she states “I knew I’d be invited into these spaces with rich older people” ah, did you now. And why is that, because you worked hard to achieve that for yourself or because people know you look like your mom and wanted to use that to their advantage

There’s also the sad bit where she talks about wanting to be perceived as capable of having grown up conversations when she was 16 and new to New York and working. Which, while I don’t condone her behaviour or things she’s decided to do or profited from, it’s still unfortunate to see her trying to change who she was or who she could have been to fit a role that other people assumed of her or expected her to be (daughter of a model).

I went to read her essay before answering and this is my opinion:

There are many contradictions in what she expresses as a person and what her philosophy of life and love is. It makes me very sad that she grew up with a family and in an environment where they did not let her be a child or live her "normal" adolescence (her family has the resources to not make her work at 16). She talks about how she decided to read to be a more intellectual woman and to be able to relate to adults that she considered intellectual (she has a serious problem with people seeing her as intelligent) and be part of that environment. She implies that this was in the past and that she learned from those experiences, but if that is so, why is she with a man 10 years older than her? and why does she change her whole personality to fit in with him? For me she is still the same immature girl who seeks approval from older people and who needs to show herself to be intellectual.

It is revealing that she has spoken about romantic relationships, how she would like them to be and how she takes a break. She quotes a phrase from a book that identifies her that says: "the only thing you can have left after a relationship is pain and an old t-shirt. But you would do it again anyway" where she basically says that she would repeat it because of the experience lived and what she learned. Then to fit in and sell herself as a "feminist" she says that she reads books by almost only women that this has helped her define how she likes to live a romantic relationship "I am realizing how important it is for women in relationships to be represented from their own point of view, and how useful that has been for me when I was young and discovered my sexuality and what it means to be in a relationship. It is common to be afraid as a woman of losing yourself in a relationship with another person, especially if that other person is a man in a patriarchal world" Girl let me tell you that if you lost yourself in your relationship that you want to keep even if it costs you your mental health and you have to pretend to be someone you are not.

Kaia then talks about a piece that identifies her that says “Even after they broke up, they continued to send each other poems and write about each other, posting stories of their love. I find it extraordinary that the end of their romantic collaboration didn’t mean the end of their artistic collaboration. With Gilbert being older and a more established poet than Gregg when they got together, seeing how much respect he had for her and her perspective on how things played out in their relationship is deeply meaningful; that’s the kind of love I believe in.” This screams to me that her relationship with Austin is broken, but that she wants to stay around and I immediately think of the life&style article and her psychopathic behavior to get Austin’s attention. Finally she talks about the societal pressure to look or be a certain way and that she’s no longer interested. Girl you injected your lips, you’re in questionable nutritional status and you take daily walks just to pretend to be something you’re not. This essay was about what you want to be or what you are? and that.

Sorry for the length, there were many things there that caught my attention, I must admit that you have the gift of the word and that they wrote a good essay for you. Remember that my language is Spanish, if there is something badly written or poorly expressed it is because of the translator.

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alexanderwales · 6 months ago

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Pitchposting: Bad Detectives

content warning: bdsm, sexual violence, suicide, murder, police

Pitchposting is when you write about a thing that you're not going to write to exorcise the demons.

I was a big fan of the Hannibal TV show, partly because it was a bit silly. I'm worried that the thing I'm going to describe here will feel like a riff on that, but hopefully it's just an influence. The actual core of the idea came while watching Presumed Innocent.

The book follows two detectives who hunt serial killers. I'm not sure I care all that much about actual serial killers or the actual people who hunt them, though I have read a few nonfiction books from former FBI people, mostly to make sure I understand the perspective of government employees and how their process of self-mythologizing goes (for a different book). This book takes place in one of those worlds where there are a ton of serial killers, they're clever and artistic and tortured, and they're caught by looking at their signatures and through careful psychoanalysis rather than security cameras, fingerprints, and other features of the national security panopticon.

Our male lead is scruffy and tightly clenched. He's a loner. He doesn't talk much, but when he does, it's insightful and poignant. He's weird, but not in a way that maps well to any actual diagnosis. He's extremely good at getting inside the head of serial killers, understanding their patterns, knowing the things that will give them away, how they'll inevitably slip up or be caught. To the extent we get his inner thoughts, he is absolutely fucked in the head: the only reason you wouldn't call him a serial killer is that he's never actually killed anyone, and the only reason he hasn't done it is because it's wrong. He instead satisfies his urges through his job with the FBI, which allows him access to tons and tons of photographs and the chance to visit crime scenes, to talk to serial killers, to confront his darkness over and over, flirting with it. Maybe there's actually some question whether he has killed someone, and in what circumstances, if he's an Ethical Serial Killer of some kind. You can smell the frustrated impulses on him.

Our female lead is carefully put together and very cold. She's a loner. She doesn't talk much, but when she does, she's sad and distant. She's weird in a way that doesn't map to any diagnosis. She's fastidious. She has eight of the exact same suit and three pairs of the same shoes. She's extremely good at getting in the heads of serial killers, which again, is the main way that serial killers are caught in this world rather than, I don't know, loads of interviews, tip lines, etc. She is absolutely fucked in the head: she's drawn to killers like a moth to flame. She is, essentially, prey incarnate, a lamb who would willingly lie down to be brutalized by the lion. The only reason she hasn't been killed is that she has a sense of self-preservation and thinks that killing and hurting people is wrong. She satisfies her urges through her work, which gets her access to serial killers, lets her interview them, lets her see the crime scenes and imagine herself in them, etc.

I think for the purposes of pitchposting, we could stop there. Obviously we have two completely insane people in a very high-stress high-stakes job who happen to match each other in a way that no human ever actually does. They have these private inner lives that they cannot, under any circumstances, share with other people, but the central tension is that if they did share with each other, they would find that they're a perfect fit.

The scene that's been kicking around in my head is the two of them trying to recreate a crime scene together, with her in the role of victim and him in the role of perpetrator. They're in their work clothes, conservatively dressed, both playing the part of professional, and each actually thinking while they're playing it cool "wow, this is so hot, god I wish this were real".

It's basically this, as a fucked up psycosexual erotic thriller/romance:

I think as far as this core relationship goes, it's pretty solid. Both have a dark secret, their dark secrets complement each other, there's plenty of reason for both of them to misunderstand the other (because both would naturally assume that the other is repulsed rather than attracted).

But at the end of the line, I'm not sure what an ending would look like for the two of them. He's not just a sadist, he has a hunger for murder, and his whole character orientation has been around trying to satisfy those urges in other ways that don't quite work. And she's not just a masochist, she has erotic suicidality, which I might have just coined (but probably did not). The ending that their internal drives are pointing at is with him as a killer and her dead. That would be a very daring ending, and I'm not sure what it would mean ... but I also don't know what ending would work better, or even what the themes of this book would be, other than just "look at these two freaks". (And of course the audience for the book is people who see themselves in one or the other of these two freaks. I'm using "freaks" affectionately here.)

The main problem is that this is all sort of gross. Hannibal steered away from sexual violence, one major notable exception aside, vaguely implying it sometimes but often using murder as a stand-in for sex. I thought the show worked best when it was the most divorced from reality, when it was being serious about its camp. The serial murders are works of art, things of beauty, dark and horrible but also aesthetic and neatly planned.

Maybe you can do that here. Maybe serial killers in this world have absolutely no interest in sexual violence of any kind. Maybe our protagonists are vaguely sexless themselves, and when they're acting out murders together the sex stuff exists only in the mind of the reader. And then when they do have sex, if they do, then that's a stand-in for murder. This is less gross than, e.g. having sexually violent crimes that sexually excite our protagonist, at least in my opinion, maybe because that would be less divorced from reality.

A woman with an interest in getting raped is ... I mean, there are real women like that out there, ones who have that fantasy and ones who actually would want to make that fantasy a reality in some way. But a woman who thinks it's hot to be ritually stabbed fifty-two times in the stomach is less real, and her dark desire is more clearly a stand-in for other dark desires, whatever repressed urge our audience feels, or sees in others, or how we understand ourselves and our thoughts. Easier to do the mapping when it's clear that we're not mapping to anything substantially real. (Knowing humans, I am sure that there probably is someone out there with vivid fantasies about basically anything, but if I wrote the story it would be with "this is not literally about dismemberment, decapitation, vivisection, bondage, stabbing, etc." in mind.)

I think having the serial killers be over the top also helps to take you out some of what tends to be a icky about true crime. It becomes clear that this is a fantasy, that it's exploring something in our brains, rather than doing the typical procedural thing of "ripped from the headlines". These would be killers with their own weird fucked up demons they let free, artists, rather than the serial killers we get in the real world, who are mostly impulse idiots. I think it's easy to not be exploitative if you're completely divorcing yourself from reality.

I think I'm the wrong person to write this, which makes it perfect for a pitchpost. I enjoyed Hannibal, but it seems like an exhausting thing to write, and trying to strike the right balance for both main characters seems tough and like an ongoing battle I'd be fighting with every word. There'd be a risk of teetering over into grimderp shock value at every turn.

I'm trying, right now, to think about a way to have that same dynamic I like without it being some sex-murder thing, and I'm coming up blank. Two people who are serious professionals with a dark secret whose careers are ostensibly about stopping that thing ... you know, maybe just set the story in a repressive society where the things they think are horrible and would offend the other are things we maybe find a little boring or everyday, though this loses you the aspect of "our desires would literally destroy us". So I don't think it would be quite the same, but I'd be more likely to write it, rather than wallowing in the sexy murdersphere.

#hannibal #pitchpost #pitchposting #murder

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aliusfrater · 2 months ago

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what are your thoughts on Sam's seizures? the demon detox one was like a withdrawal case but the others..like when he got back his soul, and also that time in the ambulance, would you consider them semi-supernatural seizures? do you think sam is epileptic? It's a headcanon I like.

i've posted about how intriguing it is that sam was a regular seizure haver for a few seasons before and although i do like the epileptic!sam headcanon, i prefer to relate sam's seizures to being psychogenic than relating to a non-canon underlying disorder like epilepsy mainly because it's more interesting to me to think of sam's seizures as directly correlating with the events that trigger them both in a major character conflict encapsulated moment kind of way as well as an action -> reaction kind of way.

so like taking his 4.21 panic room demon blood detox as an example: sam's entire season four arc centres around using his abilities, an invariable part of him that represents both taken autonomy and his Otherness in his family, hunting, and his idea of normalcy, in a way that facilities agency for some perceivable good while also crossing boundaries within the dynamic of his and dean's relationship, the dichotomy of monstrosity, and even his patriarchal role in an attempt at independence (also relating to his addiction). the demon detox scene represents every facet of how sam's monstrosity represents these parts of his character; the characters he hallucinates represents these facets in different ways. his seizure is an extension of this in a more direct way—the idea of sam's inability/struggle to fit within his role within these structures mentioned is, i think, the foundation of his character and being forcibly made to quit his addiction, an addiction related to an invariable aspect of his being, relating greatly to multiple parts of what the foundation of his character represents (as well as his own autonomy) is just being further represented within something as (non-)physical as a seizure.

the same can be said about 6.13 and 6.22 sam. 6.13 sam has had his autonomy violated twice-fold (soulless!sam's and sam's) and he's actively attempting to atone for every aspect of his non-role that soulless!sam breached and for every decision he didn't make but is actively violating him as well as his victims while also being restricted by dean and dean's decision to resoul him. his seizure represents this within something that is (non-)physical. 6.22 sam has has his wall broken in a way that reaffirms his lack of autonomy in several ways: his wall was broken by cas to keep dean preoccupied, the wall exists against his will, he doesn't even remember the ordeal of having his wall broken, and he's a metaphysical prisoner within his body. sam is quite literally having to reclaim his body from himself by himself and (almost) against his will; his seizure represents this within something that is (non-)physical.

in 7.03, it's basically an extension of 6.22, but with the added aspect of both sam's established psychosis and sam's relationship with hallucifer. his conflict with his autonomy relates to the struggle within his relationship with reality and how conflated it is with his relationship with lucifer; by 7.03 his reality is in the process of being re-established as existing synonymously with his and dean's relationship, perpetuating the push and pull between dean-sam, lucifer-sam and sam's reality; his autonomous reality has been slipping through his fingers (in a similar way to 3.11, which is a connection i love to make). his seizure represents his struggle within something that is (non-)physical.

it's a metaphor and symbol, basically and there's just more canon to think about in the context of this perspective than it is from an epileptic!sam, which you'd have to build outside of canon. the latter is still fun though, in the same way that thinking about sam as schizophrenic, autistic, or having ptsd (headcanons that i do feel relatively strongly about) is fun.

#so yeah i prefer to look at it as semi-supernatural but the headcanon is cool 👍#that being said i'm like 80% sure that if the writers were interested in exploring sam's singular conflict post-gadreel #beyond one (1) line in 9.23‚ we would've gotten another sam seizure. i think the reason we didn't get one for trials!sam #was because that was partly self-inflicted harm and represents an attempt at reclaiming autonomy #more than it represents taken autonomy like the other examples mentioned here #quaerit #se referat

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