#which is bs in itself.
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It's 'support trans lesbians' until they're not binary trans women. Until they're trans masc, trans men, or masc AMAB non-binary people.
It comes off as vaguely performative to be honest.
#barring the trans men who DO identify as lesbian does nothing to validate ALL trans people#ofc there are trans men who are straight#but that doesn't mean EVERY trans man who likes women is straight#AMAB nonbinary people owe femininity OR androgyny to nobody to be a valid lesbian. You either support all non-binary lesbians or none.#people seem to only 'support' non-binary people as long as they're AFAB. then they can be pushed into the 'woman lite' box#which is bs in itself.#trans lesbian#nonbinary lesbian#queer#nonbinary#amab nonbinary#afab nonbinary#transmasc lesbian#also reminder that transmasc doesn't immediately mean 'man'#and even if somebody is a man that doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed the labels they're comfortable with.#man lesbians are valid#regardless of HOW they're men
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Sight of a Star - Blue-ish Star Ryōshū and Don Quixote
#HERES HOW BLUE-ISH STAR BELIEVERS CAN STILL WIN I PROMISE#Rendering sucks but I do like how these look very much. I hate drawing armour. big fan of dramatic shadows however.#but! as for justifications:#B-iS is an abno regarding what one so desperately wants but cannot have - possibly connecting to Blue Star and the paradise-like place-#people wish to reach by throwing themselves into it. though what is offered by B-iS is a much less refined yet as tantalising#given the text of 'The irresistible allure is almost tearing you apart' and the less refined bit being implied by both design#[jagged edges of the actual blue shape and legs like dolls - both unlike BS' much rounder and more naturalistic design]#in short it's the manifestation of impossible dreams - for Don this is her quest for a just knighthood in the City of all places#and for Ryōshū [though idk her source] it is her final work of art - the Hell Screen#when approached one's body is 'pushed away' as if a manifestation of how it is unachievable. at least it is for them#'To be truly blue the one with the true blue must be left alone in one’s blueness.'#is what I interpret as: 'to truly dream the dreamer must be left to one's fantasies'#dreams by nature do not intersect well with reality. all their flaws will be shown and they will crack under the pressure of the real world#it is why the dream pushes them away. to preserve itself. also probably has something to do with how DQ also has void dream#and this abno gives pride boosts in its event. and I personally see pride as a sort of 'self assurance' or 'self above others' so to speak#as to chase ones dreams one must think themselves the exception. as the one that can persevere over the City#plus the HP damage and the various juxtapositions in the 'forward' option may be in reference to how dreams and reality don't mix.#harming those who chase them. though all the same the 'backwards' option shows that simply tossing them aside shall hurt in its own way#to think oneself 'impure' enough to give up on chasing it is all the same resignation on your uniqueness#as for the gift: the name is possibly to do with how lower stars seem easier to reach. and the effect of damage at minus SP....#going insane dream chasing?#but to take ones leave allows for it to be left behind without any further effects. you did not look at your dreams. acknowledge them at al#but are you better off like that? not dreaming? forgetting that brilliantly unfinished star?#but anyways I hope you liked my rambles. also this abno and everything related to Blue Star is so tastefully C flavoured that I love them#and fun fact! when I was first generally mapping sinners to unfightable/EGOless abnos I entirely forgot Ryōshū somehow. which led to this.#they don't have weapons they just kick real hard and it works well enough#limbus company#ryōshū lcb#don quixote lcb#🎠🚬
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aches and pains, mild and bothersome
#art#my art#digital#me#despite how moody this looks my brain actually hasn't been trying to cannibalize itself too much this year so that's a win#this was more of a convergence of 'oh i feel like painting a self portrait' and 'these colors feels fun to play with'#also the desire to complain abt my annoying ear/sinus bs and separate neck/shoulder bs#neither of which are new or severe or unmanageable but they're both on my left side and bugging me at the same time. which is fun#i think a major part of it is also just. it being cold out. oigh#anyways i think the last time i did a self portrait in profile that wasn't like. a doodle was back in high school. wild
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Why is it so controversial to want to be able to have a life outside of work? Why is it expected to work extended periods of time with heavy workloads to the point that by the time you get home, you're too pooped to actually do anything? I don't mind working but I don't want it to be my whole life. I want to work to live, not live to work
#slice of life#capitalism#capitalist hell#im so thankful for my new job. i just think that 40 hr workweeks for full-time minimum is bs#doesnt even guarantee you benefits in some jobs such as my current one. which is a problem for me#love my new coworkers. job itself is hard but gratifying#idk if i could see myself spending most of my time alive doing it for the remainder of my existence though
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fandom dont turn character who has any even mildly feminine appearance into a shy, soft, sweet archetype challenge (impossible)
#yes this is mostly about sigma#WHEN HAS HE EVER BEEN THAT WAY#WHERE DOES THAT IMPRESSION EVEN COME FROM#he can be naive at times sure but thats because hes THREE YEARS OLD.#and EVEN THEN he was put up against FYODOR WHO EVEN DAZAI HAS FAILED TO OUTSMART ON SO MANY OCCASIONS#its about plenty of other characters from other fandoms too but i might be slaughtered if i get into that#i wouldnt care as much if it happened with other characters but it only ever seems to be when they have what could be considered by western#-standards a “feminine look”#which is obviously bs in itself but cmon guys. is it really that difficult#THERE ARE MORE PERSONALITIES OTHER THAN “INTROVERT CHARACTER™” AND EXTROVERT CHARACTER™“ I PROMISE.#and female characters can exist and not be “the mom” “girlboss omgg so evil and cool” or “girl who just stands there”#shocker i know#soop screams#<- new tag for my rants lmao since ive been more of a hater recently
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Hotd is just not team black centric enough for me to give two fucks about it but I'm disappointed coz I've been waiting for it since the first time it was announced. Too much greenies is such a turn off. Nobody cares!! We need more of the best and cuntiest Targaryens not the lewser group.
#team black#pro rhaenyra targaryen#I'm just so annoyed that these writers kept shoving down the rhaenicent bs & now the pointless alicole nonsense#but like we just don't fucking get the interpersonal drama between the blacks#which is crazy coz they're such a FAMILY! together through thick and thin#rhaenyra's allies were so damn loyal to her & we just don't get enough of that. how was such an alliance created?#the loyalty between cregan and tb#there is this weird tension between Rhaenys and Daemon but nothing comes of it#does Rhaenys actually believe in Rhaenyra's claim? i mean whe did die fighting for her#I'm sure they'll do that in the show as well but i couldn't tell you a single reason as to WHY are they loyal to her#and didn't take Alicent's offer in s1. everything feels like it's happening because the Book Says So.#we just don't feel inevitability and urgency of things.#like idk but something about this just feels so lacking.#daemyra's relationship for instance was always SO interesting to me. Daemon as a character itself was so much fun#same for rhaenyra! but their potential is just not realized to it's fullest#it actually pains me to see how little the show cares about rhaenyra actually#anti hotd#anti ryan condal#anti rhaenicent#anti team green#posts#mine my own
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Sam!- i didn’t know you had tumblr 2! :O
I DO!!! Hello!! I also have a bluesky! Since people were moving over there from twitter, I made one in case twitter actually started crashing down and everyone was removing themselves from twitter!
I mainly shitpost about Ninjago on twitter, which I use to do on here as well but then I eventually got lazy 😭
#incase if anyone doesnt know>>>#elon made this thing happen on twitter where every artwork and tweet you've made. it gets fed into grok#grok is a AI generator and elon made this because so he can make AI improve itself or some bs like that#OH AND elon is planning to change the block feature on twitter. to make it where the people you block can still view your account#but they cant interact with it. which supports STALKING and a lot of abuse victims and people who have online stalkers are at risk!#but apparently its actually illegal to change and remove the block feature from social media platforms stated by apple and playstore#but the AI thing kinda sucks too..#so everyone is just leaving Twitter. but im staying cause i worked too hard for my audience to just leave everyone there 😭#some people have been going to bluesky and tumblr so :]
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Also the comments:
Tankies tanking, what can I say.
Not a single original thought in there.
#tankies#and yes giving people the chance to block them all is the point#as to why one would *subject oneself to that* :because some of us would rather not see this disgusting shit? curate your social media etc#with a list it takes about ten minutes#as i explained the red ones are the confirmed tankies in the sense i checked their blog#the rest are just people who thought it's appropriate to reblog that post with Stalin portraits false claims that i'm a zionist and other bs#which in itself tells me enough#it's really not that hard
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starting the year ✨wrong✨
#(this is about work ok. long rant in the tags bc auauauauauauauuauauauauauauauaaaaaaaa)#i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao#first i was stuck doing 2 workstations bc this freakin’ b o z o of a coworker decided to take the week off without prior notice#and *t h e n* the internal components of one of said workstations kicked the bucket and was only replaced today. sads.#rip to our wasted time and futile fixing efforts though. flashtag wetried#that’s not all t h o u g h i was told that i have to jump to the other work shift bc one of my coworkers is resigning#b u t the thing is. all of the other dudes in that shift are from [insert bordering country] and always speak in their nation’s language#so i won’t be able to communicate well with them for the most part esp s o bs#and if [insert country here] has a national holiday and a l l of them decide to take the day off..#well. um. ahahahaha. im ✨screwed✨#(but speaking of taking the day off… one of said guys on that shift has an approved leave for cny. which is funny bc he’s not even chinese)#(rips if the actual other chinese dude on that team has his leave request rejected bc of that guy lol. happy cny to him ig)#a n d also i was made to (sorta) teach these two new coworkers (of sorts) the workstation i’m at for the week#b u t the thing is. i do everything here by left (didn’t receive formal training either lmao sadge)#and i also couldn’t explain anything well in general bc it seems like my flow of thoughts can’t streamline itself ig#so i think i confused the poor guys more than anything. but like. why me??????? aaaauauaaaaaaaaaa#idk why one of them came back for more ‘education’ from me thoughhhhh#i’ve tried teaching ‘em stuff at another workstation before this and my feedback was ‘wait slow down you talk too fast’ s o o o o .#ig i’ll have to guide them though again in the morning though. sighs. this wasnt in my job description :(#speaking of job descriptions though… this h e l l a annoying guy no one likes who resigned a few months ago (to much rejoicing)…#is!!!!! coming!!!! back!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#w h y. like. w h y. why is he so attached to this company he l l o? why is our manager so attached to him helloooooooo????? why him???????#our workloads literally t r i p l e when he’s around bc he’s just the way he is. auauauauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaa#aaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna work aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#science industry (derogatory) questionable laboratory conditions (derogatory)#felt cute; thought about retiring early idk
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(wakes up) also to be clear I don't think eden had to at all have commentary on gender or sexuality on a deeper level. this game isn't about that, they were willing to beat around the bush for yotsuyu even, the bar's low as helllll. but i guess I was at least hoping for a dedication to each character's personal meaning irrespective of what the fanbase wants after the fact. but instead of doing that they seem to pivot hugely toward making whatever will make a brief buzz with the fandom for coming off as progressive or confirming a popular headcanon or whatever & in doing so they go past just making meaningless References and shallow aesthetic renditions of potentially poignant concepts and dynamics and making what feels like deliberately sanitized kidzbop versions that are directly antithetical to the point of the things they seem to nod and wink at. and it's especially frustrating when they come CLOSE to fixing their feet on the ground and telling a good story but they bungle it because they seem to be afraid to say anything without seeing what the fanbase says first & then we end up with a whole lot of runaround nothing in our hands
#like...you're not gonna make everyone happy. go into it with feeling#it was fun to on a meta level nudge and try for ew base story but don't let it bleed out#like ryne's shiva segment being so...disappointing feels like it comes from being afraid from rocking the boat re: ysayle#even though its potential is insane for ryne to reckon with her past of trying to embody a symbol at cost to her life#through the eyes of someone who was her friend. and then tying that in itself to the What I Have to Be vs. Who I Am#and gaia who wants to learn who she is together with her. but it's like. There for 2sec and then it's not and now it's all about#her and mitron. LIKE GOD HELP ME#also my crazy opinion this is why the light dark switcharound for shb was ultimately weak as fuck beyond aesthetics.#oh and plus they did weird undress tit window fanservice bs with ryne. which completely kills any remaining touch on the subject at all.
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I love freaky non romantic dynamics it’s crazy !!!!! When one party is a freak and the other party is normal but tolerants the first guys freakishness
#THE B&B YAYYYYY#dubcon but it’s dubcon hugging. dubcon existing within intimate distance . like there is that thing of being inherently different bc one is#a monster (she didn’t want to exist that way) and one is a hero(who want to be able to become a mother through magic. tgirl swag)#seeking a transformation#bs is trans in all of my headcanons tbh but in canon 🪞got her surgery as fuck#🪞 became a demon lord through the last demon lord 🚬#basically how it works is when the hero slays the demon lord the hero’s consciousness gets transferred into a random person near by (a#sacrifice) along with the demon powers and curses#so when 🔥 eventually killed 🚬#🔥’s consciousness gets fuzed into the body of an unfortunate nearby 🪞(who was .normal) along with 🚬’s demon powers#and 🔥/🪞 becomes the new demon lord and 🚬gets to finally rest in peace#perks of a demon lord include being able to transform your body at will to appear alluring to others and getting to be immortal/unkillable#which is . not great. if you have a guilty conscience or you got tired of feeding off other people’s life energy forcibly#with that being the only thing that can sustain you as the course of your life reshaped itself around this goal alone#and of course heros vs demon lords are a ploy of the kings/lords to distract the people from internal affairs#by having the demon lords become the symbol of all civil discontent and fear#basically genetically engineered scapegoats#🚬and 🔥 are the last generation of demon lord and hero#while 🪞and bs are this generation’s#and they are gonna break the cycle !!#wow everyone are trans/nonbinary in this except 🚬. hm!#🪞kinda agender#I have like a fuckton of thoughts on this au I’m gonna properly write posts one day#😈au#also bs is bi she have a husband but is infertile in this au#I like themes of motherhood and fertility and weird relationships with the ‘female’ gender what it means to be a girl/woman/mother etc
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anti r.eylo on my dash in the year of our lord 2024? god. get over yourselves this is ridiculous
#i adventure outside of my comfort zone (aka mutuals/blogs i trust) for ONE time#'r.eylos are racists uwu' i'm sure some of them are since it's a huge ass fandom#and there was that whole scandal months ago (which btw the other fans denounced)#but a loooot of r.eylos are poc. ik because i followed them back in the day#also... i'm sorry but being an anti r.eylo doesn't make you immune to racism?#i've lost count of how many antis were fucking racists/homophobic to poc/queer r.eylos over the years#in this whole stupid ass 'war' there was a lot of rotten borderline harassment. believe me i was There#it's also ironic when this bullshit moral superiority attitude comes from people who ship equally or even more problematic ships#and when i say ironic i mean fucking unsufferable#that's what i really can't stand. not the dislike/hate of the pairing itself because at this point i don't even care much about it#and i was always in the sw fandom for different characters/ships anyway#but the fucking Holier Than Thou bs. ~i'm not racist but You Are because you're a dirty ratlo uwu~ on god. SHUT UP#val speaks#the discourse#val rambles in the tags#txt
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Apologies everyone, I do see your support for Ephraim but during the 1-day voting period I was also playing with Bacteria dark defense and figured my Triandra would really like soaring guidance to complete this cancer 😭
It also gives Claude full coverage of Triandra's threat range in the initial position to prevent her from being baited alone and causes the trap to fail. This had actually been the sole reason why I insisted on running this in anima even after Elimine's introduction, as Mirabilis doesn't have this problem.
However - while I indeed started experimenting the season switch because of Kvasir, she can't really replace Marianne for it's simply too hard to proc her 4 CD special in one battle, so her slot is basically just a bonus mythic slot to avoid breaking Sara's HP check (it does have to be a 7-slot mythic though, so maybe Medeus with HP skills when the bonus doesn't align? 🤔). But still, with the addition of Rattata running this in anima will become even harder, so I'll keep going with the change.
Btw the new anima defense will look like this:
Gullveig can rally Sigurd/Ginnugagap and get danced to cover 90% of the map, with Robin giving Veyle counter + jumpscare and Freyr shutting down isolation/false start. It still lacks a Seidr counter and is potentially vulnerable to ninja duos as there's only 1 duo unit but those likely can't be helped 😔
For the Ephraim supporters I'll try to make up for it next time he's picked up 😭
#fr though how is anima so much harder than dark#like in dark season you basically only need to worry about Mila#which can be easily fixed by a recovery that can stop all other kind of debuffs too#but in anima you have Elimine & Veyle & Seidr & Rattata :')#and Freyr cannot stop in-turn debuffs like rouse 4#I lost bunches of braincells for both setups#but for dark it's due to the complexity of the trap itself#while for anima it's purely because of the number of bs I need to find a counter for :')
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Send a few good vibes my way if you can spare any. I've put out two applications -- one for a week and a half summer workshop about a new astronomy research method and another for a post baccalaureate research position with NASA. Being accepted into either would be a huge boost on any grad school application and to my CV. But the second would be a full time job out of state. Which means I'd be out of this house.
I need something to change. And soon. Whether it be a full time research position or the CV boost I need to get into grad school next year. Just. Something.
#i turn 30 in just under 3 weeks#i need some forward momentum in my life rn#i need to have my own place and i need to get away from shitfest that is my family life#i love my family dearly but i cant handle the BS of living here anymore#im 78% certain that my chronic conditions would be much easier to manage and id have much fewer flare ups#if i could just remove myself from the constant stress of this household#last summer i had a full time internship has a national park ranger#and despite the almost daily physical requirements and being outside in the summer heat etc#i only had MAYBE 3-4 flare ups the entire 3 months i was there#rather than the 3-4 i have a month now#my pain was less my sleep was better my eczema was almost non-existent#my autonomic dysfunction was the only thing that would act up semi regularly but even those instances were mild and manageable#my current job is shite#as much as i love the work itself the management is trash and my stress has been climbing exponentially#which means the frequency and strength of flare ups has also been increasing#im so tired#fox thoughts
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i hate that i made it my whole thing that im so Not romantically jealous and that im always 100% cool and chill with all that comes w being polyam bc im having a hard time w my gfs newest relationship and i cant say anything about it
#im not even sure if its *jealousy* i just.#it started dating him RIGHT as i broke up w my long term gf (my longest standing and first ever relationship)#who had abandoned me replaced me and ignored me for 6 months in favor of another relationship#my gfs new bf is someone i Also have feelings. possibly for slightly longer than my gf has but theyve only really intensified the past month#and he has zero clue and most probably zero interest. which. yk is fine. but..#and then add the ✨️crushing dysphoria✨️ and almost.. gender envy ?#its just. hes also pre everything but he passes so much better. bc he actually puts in an effort.#and everyone treats him.. idk#like my friends keep joking that him and my gf are at first glance a straight couple even tho theyre not. and it stings ?#bc no stranger would ever think of me as a man#and my gf is / was a lesbian right ? started calling itself a bi lesbian a few months after we got together + its crush on the bf took hold#and at the time i was touched bc it felt like it was adding the bi for Me. bc of My gender.#but now that it and him are together its REALLY leaned into the bi part. like swapped out all its pins and corrects ppl and stuff#like im not even sure if its a lesbian anymore ? which is fine and good that its figuring itself out but. but..#idfk. i just. i wish i was Actually seen like a guy. i wish i had proof my friends didnt view as just some weird bs nonsense to put up with#i wish i could just *fucking ask it* but im too afraid#amber actually saying stuff#vent
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little late to your recs post but johnnysimmer has amazing unisex hairs!! i know that you are against early access but he only does 2 weeks and releases soooooo much content that it really makes up for it :) all of his cc is very game friendly too!!
Thank you, nonny! 😚 even though it's early access, I still appreciate his cc a lot! I personally think two weeks should be the standard time period for eacc, and the amount of content he releases while still seeming fresh/creative is impressive imo. As an oldie, I also appreciate that he updated the old hairs of vevesim for free as well! I enjoy his work in general and it seems more worth it than what's become the standard from other creators.
#asks#anonymous#ceci speaks#there are good eacc creators#it's just hard for me to support the business model itself#privacy concerns are still a big issue#among other things#also every time i like a creator some bs happens lol#so i generally stay away#but his content is good#and doesnt seem lazy at all#which is a change from many creators making money these days lol
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