#which is another reason why this took me so long
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BUT I’M SO OBSESSED WITH YOU — L.R
plot is kind of based off of fear street 78’
genre? : smut, with a murder and obsession plot
now playing : I’m so crazy for youuu </3 by rebzyyx
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this content contains the following : obsessive, possessive, psychotic!lara (obviously), killing mention, kind of cheating but not so much?, kinda angst, smut warning, blood mention, g!p lara, heavy etc warning.
author chats?: okay don’t look at me like that.. i have other fics to finish but!! i lit rewatched this movie a while ago and wanted to make this so badly like <///3 so here we are. — certain parts of this is corny as SHITTTTTTT. but i’m not rewriting this for a while. — daniela is cindy… (im sorry but nor sorry…)
word count? : 4.0k
—
the day began as normal as you'd expect a day at camp to go, you decided to go on a walk along the campsite, talking with your friends.
while they walked along the trail, lara and daniela (in place of cindy) came from the dining hall and were talking about god knows what.
you didn't bother to pay them any mind, or well “them" as a whole, but you would sometimes pay lara a little mind.
but of course, it wouldn't be anything more than just the basic student and counselor relationship. they got along fairly well, like she did with all of the campers.
today just, felt, different though. it was like the atmosphere was off, in all honesty it felt like something was bound to happen.
you continued on walking though, and your friends disbursed into their own cabins while you walked to yours.
you heaved a heavy sigh before sitting on your bed, and lying back first. you would run your fingers through your hair, and and close your eyes.
you couldn't really change where your mind was going, in fact, you were only thinking about, lara? it felt weird, to say the complete least. you weren’t so cool with daniela, but you two also weren't on the worst terms.
you could really only sigh, if it wasn't the issue that they had with being camper and counselor, then it was definitely the relationship.
you always tried your best to just hide it but almost always having to be around her made you fall in love with her more, but were you to blame?
i mean, she was innocent, caring, really loving and kind. if you were to be honest with everyone, including yourself, you would get jealous seeing daniela and her hold hands as often as they did.
yeah, she wasn't yours, not yet at least, but to see her with another girl, fuck you hated it so much. you would sometimes would end up stumbling across her and dani while they kissed, but you would walk off and pretend like nothing happened.
they never knew though, they didn't ever mention it. you would always end up punching a wall though, never being able to come up to lara and tell her how you really felt.
you was easily caught up in your thoughts of lara, not hearing the door being knocked on. the quiet knocking quickly became louder and snapped the girl out of it.
you got off of your bed and opened the door, and speak of the fucking devil, "heyy! we missed you today in the dining hall, what happened?" lara asked you.
you had an insane impulse to just pull her into a kiss, but she was also holding direct eye contact which would've made it much more enjoyable —
but to say what didn't need to be said was that you didn't go through with kissing her but instead came up with some random excuse as to why.
and she, of course, bought it because, why would she not? you mentioned having an upset stomach, so she offered to go and get you some medicine and you gladly accepted.
something that was an important mention was that you loved seeing her run, but it was more than just loving her form but you genuinely enjoyed watching her run, you found it attractive, for some reason.
not long later she did return with the medicine, also with a few other items for you. she took some of the medicine while she demonstrated how to use it, and would also give you some water.
you would, of course, thank lara and she would get up to leave, and you let her go but it seemed once the door closed you were completely losing your mind.
you wanted, no, needed lara as yours. you swore to do everything in your power to make that possible and finally have what you deserved, or felt you did.
but it wasn't like a normal crush, one you’ve already gone through the getting to know them, already gone through the getting closer phase, basically every single phase that was required, you and lara had already done it.
but it wasn't like she could be alone with you for more than two minutes because why would a counselor need more than that much time with a student alone, so you really never had the chance to ever catch her because if she wasn't attending to her duties around the capmus, then her bitch of a girlfriend daniela had her and her attention.
you never could wrap your head around what lara saw in the latina, she was so, prissy, it was annoying. they weren't really anything alike, so how they made thngs work was beyond you, but you also didn't really give a flying fuck bevause you were going to make lara yours however you really had to.
it was't like the signs weren't there, it was obvious she felt the same, the way she would smile at you, the way she would talk to you, the way she would teat you and help you, how gentle she was with you.
she was as gentle as one would be with a fresh wet painting, it made you feel special but you always knew that she was just like that. as previously stated, she was a soft kind girl.
she was the innocent, "lara raj" after all. she was the heartthrob amongst the camp. and daniela fucking avanzini was the girl to get her first.
if we were to be honest, and let the reader be honest with herself for once, she didn't really care as heavily at first because she was a taken woman after all and she respected daniela at the time, and same for lara, so she wouldnt even graze the thought of doing such a thing.
but it just seemed one day, things weren't really the same, she would watch daniela and the same feeling of respect for her superior and admiration turned to straight jealousy and envy. she hated daniela, wanted her gone to be honest. but, "gone" is the nicest thing we could say she wanted to happen to the blonde.
but in somewhat of a cliche fashion, you found yourself alone with lara. something that was decently normal between the two was that they may run into each other randomly during the day and you would come up with any excuse in the book why you might need lara to stay there for a small while longer but somene would either walk in or you would freeze up so badly that you was unable to speak or even form words together to let lara know you liked her.
the second you would get close to her, your heartbeat and breathing would pick up, something you can always recall was when she helped wake you back up with cpr after you passed out.
the world felt like it was slowing down when you opened your eyes, seeing her looking at you with that same worried expression that she has now.
"y/n?" she said, throwing you out of your daze, "what's going on? why are you in here?" the indian woman asked, her eyebrow raising. your eyes quickly scanned over her, her outift and her entire demeanor, feeling your brain cloud while you felt weaker in your knees by the second. "oh, nothing jus uhh.." your eyes began to dart across the room, trying to find something to say to evade the conversation but once you finally looked back at lara, her brown orbs were looking back into yours.
but no words were spoken, the room fell completely silent. you silently hoped that someone would walk in and ruin this slightly awkward vibe but no one came to your rescue. lara looked away from you for a second, but looked back at you. she broke the silence, once gain asking why you were here and you told the truth. you didn't really have a reason to be inside of that room with her but they always had the most privacy there compared to anywhere else.
something in your head kept yelling, telling you to tell him now before it was "too late" whatever that meant. "lara?" you called for her, and she looked at you, "yea?" she asked, and you took a slow breath. she looked at you , and she placed her hand on yours.
you looked down at your hands, then back up at her, and her eyes were softy looking into yours and she nodded to you, reassuring you that it was okay to speak, and that you did. "i don't know how i can say this, it's hard." you said, your eyes quickly looking away from the black haired woman in front of you.
"take a breath, take your time", she smiled to you, “we have all the time in world" she said, her voice finishing off so gently. you could feel yourself melting to her touch and voice, but you knew you had to say something. "uhm. okay, see, i like you" you said, but as you finished your sentence your voice got lower to the point lara couldn't hear you.
"what was that?" she softly asked, her head tilting down with hers. she used her free hand to lift your head up to look at her.
“you can say it" she smled, god she looks so stupid. you looked into her eyes, "i like you, like i'm in love with you" you said, but quickly your speech picked up, "but i know it's wrong, you're already in a relationship and you're a consoler while i’m a camper, and you have-" she cut you off, kissing you.
her hand cupped your cheek, as their eyes closed at the same time, their lips slowly moving in sync. after a small while, they broke apart, "lara..” you exhaled against her lips after the kiss broke, and she smiled, "yes?" she answered. you were in pure shock, not being able to process what happened.
"i like you too, you know?" she said it, but so casually. "what?" you couldn't register anyhting that was happening. "wait, you like me?" she was just, surprised.
“yes! god, i could never tell you because of the slight worry you didn't feel the same" she said, keeping that same stupid smile on her face. they decided to say the magic words, "lara will you be my girlfriend?", "as long as you'll be my girlfriend" you just smiled, basking in this moment with lara.
it wasn't like something was off either, not like this was a dare or a prank to be played on you, she was being genuine. you sighed, finally feeling at peace to get that off of your chest. lara saw how late it was, knowing you should've been asleep a long time ago, so after they bided their goodbyes she went to hers and daniela’s shared dorm/cabin.
she locked the door, seeing the she was sleeping peacefully, something in her kept saying “don't have to do it, you shouldnt do it. it isn't worth it.” but it is. she walked her way to her bags, grabbing something sharp, specifically a knife with a blade of 12 inches.
the more closer she got to actally doing it, her brain screamed louder not to, but she didn't care. you see, somethig about lara is that she was definetly a character. she never really was what everyone would describe her as. of course, that was the facade she began to go by but the real lara raj wasn't all much of a saint, she didn't have good history with certain things, daniela being one of them but due to them having that dumbass "perfect couple" title, she ws forced to keep up the soft girl look, or “girl next door”.
the more she thought about how she had to hide the way he actual was and felt ever since they gaind that title, she would get more and more mad now standing over daniela, gripping the handle tighter than before. she raied the blade over her head, planning how she’s gonna through with this but deciding that this would be too messy.
so she carefull draged the sleeping girl into the bathroom, placing her in the bathtub, "damn, heavy sleeper huh?" she said, and chuckle to herself. this wasn't such a lara thing though, for one she would barely ever swear, two cause harm to someone, again she was known as someone who couldn't even harm a fly.
she held the knife again, this time pulling daniela’s face back and lining the blade with her throat. she had the knives pre sharpened before any of this, she didn't care how she had to do it, she was getting with y/n (you).
the girl didn't need any prep, and lined the blade back up, pressing her hand against her mouth as tightly as she physically could as she sliced the blade across her throat. the blood began to slowly fall down, but she did it again to ensure she was dead.
she then stabbed the blade into daniela’s throat before dragging it down through her chest, watching as the blonde woman’s blood began to stain the pajamas and their bathtub.
the redhead only continued, practically mutilating the sleeping woman’s body before coming to her senses and moved her hand off of her, looking at her handy work and smiling to herself, loving how she looked all bloodied up. she smiled watching the blood spill from her neck and the huge gash in her body, but would soon get bored of it, she would stab the knife directly into the other side of her chest, and went to wash her hands.
she changed her clothes, and went to sleep that night like nothing ever happened, which would be the case for so many days. she would live her life like nothing, ever happened, anytime someone would ask about daniela and/or her where abouts she’d would lie and say she went home early or whatever.
and what makes it better is that she got away with it for so long, she was successful until the smell began to stink up her room, she couldnt even be in there, she went to the bathroom and noticed that her body began decaying in the bathtub.
and so she decided that same night she would hide her body, she went and grabbed some bags along with rope and a shovel. it was dark out, meaning she'd need a flashlight, which always, never works out for anyone trying to get rid of a body this late.
she would contiue her stroll to the storage room, and walked inside in seach for a flashlight, which she'd find along with getting a heart attack from you randomly appearing behind her. she slightly jumped but didn't scream, "why are you in here?" she first asked, "how are you in here?" she asked another question to follow and you answered her.
"door was slightly cracked and when i walked past your room, it had a really bad scent to it" you said, hinting at the obvious stench of rotting flesh that filled her place of residence. you would just look at her, while she just looked back at you.
she sighed, "let's just say something got into my room and rotted before i was able to realize" she said, but you already knew what that something might be. it had been days since anyone had last seen daniela, and you, yourself hasn't done ayting to her so she knew it was lara’s doing but instead of it scaring you, or running you away, you instead wanted her so much more now.
"let me help get rid of it" you said, but lara shook her head, "no i don't think you should get involved" she said, grabbing the things that were needed before making her way to the door. and doing everything but listening to lara, you followed behind her and began to rapidly ask to be with her while she gets rid of the body.
it didn't take much longer before she gave in and allowed you to go along with her. she laid the body on the gound, slaminng it down due to how heavy it was and began removing the teeth fom the body. "why do you have to take her teeth out, eugh" you asked while turning away, gagging at the sight. “dental records, baby" she replied and then began to dig a shallow grave for her.
"how did you, do it?" you asked while they walked off, did you really care though? to say the least, no. but there was something about seeing her a sweaty mess while carrying the shovel while you two walked back that just made you feel insane.
"a simple slice to the throat, nothing too extravagant." she said casually, but was lying. your mouth was agape, “you slit her throat?" you asked, and she nodded.
you couldn't believe that lara, the camp’s virgin innocent princess, would murder someone, especially so off rip.
her modus operandi? love, what else would it had been? you were genuinely unable to wrap you head around the fact that she chose such an executon style, it was, attractive to you, for some reason. you loved that she killed for you, that she got rid of the bitch that you hated so much.
they didn't stop at the storage cloet to put away the stuff, instead they just took it wih them inside of lara’s place. she left all of her windows open to hopefully be rid of the stench that has now taken over her entier home.
she walked inside first, alerting you of the smell before opening the door and she went straight to the bathrom and began cleaning it.
she didn't use a lot of bleach, the smell was really obvious and intoxicationg so lara decided to use other other things to ensure evey last blood stain was cleaned.
it went as well as you'd expect any cleain proces to go, she even drained her of majority of her blood before she began to decay just incase the blood became an issue.
after she finshed cleaning the blood, she when and grabbed her a pair of clean clothes to wear and anything she’s worn in between the day daniela died until now were all getting burned.
while she was getting cleaned up, you was feeling a little silly and decided to go inside of the shower with her. she didn't hear your footsteps but felt when you got inside of the shower with her.
you didn’t move or do anything but instead stood there, partially hoping she didn't notice you but secretly hoping she did. she continued to shower like it was nothing though, but when she turned around to face you, she didn't see your face automatically and instead saw your head.
"darlin, look, my eyes are up here" she said and your eyes followed along her body, noticing her defined abs and just how hot she looked with wet hair. she held the back of your head and pulled you into a kiss, really there was no need for words, the tension was so thick it made it all so obvious.
you couldnt help but get so turned on during this kiss, you were already in love with the way her lips would move against hers, how soft but passionate she was with it, god it all drove you so crazy. you would moan into the kiss, and start pressing your wet naked body against hers, feeling her semi-hard cock against your clit.
lara broke apart from the kiss, you whining at the loss of contact but was quickly met with something better. she asked you to open your legs a bit, sliding her cock between your thighs. she held your hips and slowly thrusted her hips, you moaned lowly, you both held eye contact while she sped her hips up.
the sound of your skin slapping against each other filled the room, the water spilled down your bodies. her grip on your waist got stronger while she sped up, causing her to whimper a little while your moans quickly picked up.
the need for each other grew more and more by the second, so you both agreed fuck the shower and she brought you to her bed.
she laid you down on the bed, and began attacking and kissing at your neck. she left nice hickeys on you, your hands traveled down her body and you reached for her cock, lining her up with your entrance. she slowly pushed herself inside of you, she filled you up so slowly but fuck she had length on her.
she dragged her cock out of your cunt, before slamming back inside, she held your hips down and proceeded to slam down inside of you.
she fixed herself, sitting up completly and held your hips and began fucking into you. your moans picked back up, you were much louder than before. she kept with this pace, not speeding up but not slowing down either. she moved her hands along your body and contied thrusting inside of you, her hand stopped at your neck while she gently choked you.
the indian use used her free hand to began rubbing your clit while she thrusted. she changed their positions, now she was under you and lowering you down on her cock.
she slid back inside with ease, and grounded her feet on the bed before thrusting into your cunt. her hands began grabbing at your breast and playing with them, taking the other into her mouth.
"mmth fuck~ cumming" you moaned and unravels on her shaft, your cum coating her cock completely causing making it easier for her to slide in and out.
her cock began to twitch inside your warm cunt, the sound of your moans echoing throughout, along with her own and your wet skin hitting each other. due to the grip you had on her cock, she didn't care for anything.
she threw you back under her and forced all of herself inside of her, she put both of her hands on your neck and continued with a brutal pace, the need for each other continued to grow more by the second.
she watched as you slowly began to gasp for air, then she let go, focusing her hands elsewhere while you came once again.
she chuckled at the scene under her, seeing how much of mess you were but loving how pretty you looked while cumming on her cock.
she changed their positions again, this time making the girl sit on her cock, she held her hips and slowly guided her while rocking them.
you didn't know what to do with your hands, you loved being used by lara as a fuck toy but god you were mindless about where to place your hands.
she would hold your waist harder and proceed to slam you down in such an uneven rhythm it told you that she was close. she began thrusting up inside of you and you could feel how deep her cock was now, the bulge being seen through your abdomen was genuinely mind boggling to you.
once agains you came undone on her cock, but directly after your orgasm it followed lara’s and she slammed down for the final time before the grasp on your hips became tighter as she filled you up.
"god you sound so so pretty when you cum" lara panted out, still slowly rocking her hips inside of your tired body. you nodded weakly, not really being able to speak by this point, lara basically fucked your brains out.
she gently pulled herself out, and reached to get you a shirt. she slid on her boxers and quickly cuddled you, and kissed your forehead. they pressed their foreheads together while they attempted to catch their breath.
lara would slightly move her head to kiss you cheeks, her arms wrapping around your body, which prompted you to turn around and lay down to face the opposite on her but being directly against her chest.
she pulled you as close as your bodies would go, her arms wrapped around you gently. she pulled the covers over you, kissing your shoulder and neck gently. "i love you" she softly whispered against your sleeping figure, and a smile crept on her face.
#kpop#r talks#girl group smut#kpop smut#katseye#katseye imagines#spotify#lara raj#katseye lara raj x reader#lara raj x reader#lara katseye#lara#katseye lara
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I may be a real bad boy...but baby I'm a real good man -Part 2 Oneshot
One of my lovely little darlings asked for a part 2 of this one. Hope y'all like it! Word count: 4834 Warnings: talk of past abuse, scarring
Part 1
“What’s that?” Bucky asked as he walked into Y/N’s room.
“Another letter from my parents,” she sighed, handing it over to him when he sat next to her on her bed.
He read through it quickly, then scowled. “Jesus, what is their problem?”
“I’ve been seen with the Avengers, Buck, which must mean I’m rich now, and that obviously means I owe them something since they are the reason I’m alive,” she scoffed, rubbing her eyes harshly with her fingers.
He crumpled the letter up and stuffed it in his pocket before leaning forward and hugging her tight. “You don’t owe them shit, babycakes, you know that right?” he said reassuringly.
Y/N smiled as she hugged him back. “I know,” she said quietly. “I just wish they would do what they’ve done for twenty years and just leave me alone.”
Bucky sighed heavily, then pulled back to look at her. “Ignore them. There’s nothing they can do to hurt you now.” She nodded and leaned in to kiss him. He playfully bit her lower lip and she whined at him, making him laugh. “Come on, let’s go down to the pool with everybody else,” he said. “The party has already started.”
Y/N’s anxiety spiked at that, but she kept a neutral face. “Okay, um, give me a few minutes and I’ll be right down,” she said nonchalantly.
Bucky’s eyes slightly narrowed at her, waiting a beat to see if he could read what was wrong, before he smiled wider and nodded. “Alright, don’t take too long!” he said, kissing her once more before getting up and leaving her room.
Y/N waited for his footsteps to go further down the hallway before she let out a shaky breath. She hadn’t worn a tank top or anything revealing enough to show her back in years, and even during sex with Bucky she was always on her back, making it so he wouldn’t be able to see or feel it if he tried to wrap his arms under her. How was she going to hide it from the entire team?
***
Steve, Bucky, Natasha and Yelena were in the pool, splashing each other until Steve and Bucky raced each other across the pool to see who was faster. With the super soldier serum in their blood it was definitely impressive to watch. Y/N was sitting on one of the beach chairs with Wanda next to her while Tony and Bruce were grilling burgers further away.
“Aren’t you hot?” Wanda asked her after a moment. “It’s 92 degrees and you’re wearing a t-shirt and shorts.”
“I’m fine,” Y/N waved her off. “It’s a white t-shirt, and it’s not that hot.”
“Says the girl who is literally sweating through her hair,” Wanda said, reaching over and swiping off a bead of sweat from Y/N’s temple. “Come on, just take it off, you’ll feel better.”
“No thanks, I’m good,” Y/N said, taking a long sip of her water.
“Babycakes, come on in!” Bucky called to her from the pool.
“I’m good, thank you!” she replied, trying to keep the air of nonchalance in her voice even as her frustration grew.
Why won’t she come in?
What’s going on?
Does she not feel good about herself?
Y/N took a deep breath and closed her eyes, her sunglasses hiding the tightness around her eyes. She was panicking, which made it so her mental blocks weren’t as strong as usual and she would hear people’s thoughts again. She heard Bucky pull himself out of the pool, water dripping heavily from him as he walked over to her chair and sat on it by her legs. “What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked quietly as he leaned over her. “Why won’t you come in?”
“I don’t feel like it,” she said quickly. “Just wanna get some sun.”
He frowned at her, then looked at Wanda. “Don’t ask me,” Wanda said, throwing her hands up.
Bucky leaned in closer to her ear so no one else could hear. “What’s going on?” he whispered.
“I don’t wanna take my shirt off, Buck,” Y/N said, silently begging him to understand.
“Why not? You look amazing,” he asked, looking shocked at her confession.
“Please just trust me,” she whispered, finally opening her eyes and looking at him. “Please?”
He looked surprised, his frown deepening, but he nodded. “Okay,” he said simply before giving her a quick kiss and getting up from the chair. She took a slow, deep breath, trying to calm herself as she turned on her electric fan and fanned her face.
A little while later as she was standing by the other end of the pool after eating a burger, she was sipping on a cocktail when Sam came up out of nowhere and lifted her off her feet, heading toward the pool.
“Sam! Stop!” she yelled, trying not to let her sonic scream overtake her voice. “Don’t!”
“Oh come on, Y/N, have some fun!” he said, laughing as she kicked and squirmed in his hold. The others started laughing at his antics, but Y/N was freaking out. No, please, not this, not now…
He suddenly maneuvered her into a position at the edge of the pool so that he grabbed her shirt and lifted it over herself before dropping her into the water. Y/N squealed, trying to twist her body as she hit the water. When she resurfaced she spat out the water that rushed into her mouth and nose before glaring at Sam. “Fuck you Sam!” she screamed, part of her ability slipping out and making the water ripple toward him. It splashed his feet and legs, making him laugh harder as she tried backstroke swimming to the opposite side of the pool away from him.
“Hey, glad you made it,” Bucky said, swimming toward her with a smile.
“I’m not staying,” Y/N said, keeping her back beneath the water as best as she could, facing him so he couldn’t see.
“What? Y/N–” he started.
“Y/N?” Wanda’s voice carried over from her chair. “What’s on your back?”
Y/N stiffened, shutting her eyes tight. “Nothing,” she said loudly as she continued trying to get away.
Bucky frowned. “What? What’s on your back?” he asked, trying to swim around her.
“No, Bucky, no,” she said, holding her hands out to him. Her constant protests were getting the attention of everybody by the pool, all of them watching on with frowns on their faces as well. “Just let me leave.”
“Okay, you’re scaring me now, babycakes,” he said, his eyes conveying his worry. He got close to her and reached for her shoulders. “Just let me see–”
“NO!” she yelped as she turned her sharply. The second he saw it he froze, his fingers tightening on her shoulders. She held her breath, hanging her face into her hands in shame.
“What is it—oh my god,” Wanda said when she walked around the edge of the pool to see. “Y/N…what…how did you get that?”
She could hear the rest of them all coming over to look, each of them reacting with some type of gasp or sound of surprise. “Y/N,” Bucky whispered. “What is this?”
“Scars,” she whispered, pulling away from his touch. “Please let me go.”
His hands fell away, and she swam to the side of the pool with the stairs and climbed out. She ran into the building without looking back, her tears pouring down her face as she raced to her room barefoot in a swim top and short shorts. She didn’t want it to happen like this. Of course she wouldn’t be able to hide it forever, especially from Bucky, but she couldn’t stand the fact that this was how everybody found out. When she reached her room she locked the door and instructed Friday to keep it locked before going to her bathroom and turning on the shower. She turned the water cold to try and cool down her feverish skin, the scars feeling like they were burning along her back. She washed off the sunscreen smell and let the water relax her as she cried heavily. Another lovely reminder of her parents’ anger and transgressions, permanently etched into her skin.
***
“It’s been four days and she won’t come out,” Bucky explained to her uncle Teddy as they walked down the hallway to her room. “She won’t talk to anyone, not even me.”
Teddy sighed heavily when they reached her door then turned to Bucky. “Thank you for calling me,” he said quickly. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Bucky nodded, looking at her door sadly before walking back down the hallway. Teddy turned to the door and knocked. “Y/N? It’s Ted–”
The door ripped open and Y/N gaped at him. “Teddy?” she cried, then threw herself into his arms. “Teddy, what are you doing here?” she asked, tears streaming down her face.
“Your boyfriend called me,” he said with a sad chuckle. “What’s this about you holing yourself away in here?”
Y/N let him go and gave him a pitiful sniffle. “He saw,” she said quietly. He frowned but nodded. “They all saw,” she said, trying to bite back more tears.
“Come on, let’s talk,” Teddy said, pushing her back into her room and closing the door behind him. “You look a mess, honey.”
“I know,” she sighed, flopping back down on her bed with him sitting next to her. “I just couldn’t face it. The looks they all gave me,” she said, her voice starting to raise in pitch as her emotions overwhelmed her again.
“Well they were going to find out eventually anyway, right?” Teddy reasoned. “What did you expect to do exactly? Hide away a huge part of yourself, even from him?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “It was working for a little while.”
“Sounds like you still have a bit of therapy to get through,” Teddy joked halfheartedly. “You’re surrounded by the most extraordinary but traumatized people in the world. They of all people would not judge you for what has happened in your past and the literal and metaphorical scars you hold from that. Why did you feel the need to hide them?”
Y/N knew he was right. Everyone on the team had been through some type of shit in their lives, some worse than her, especially Bucky. Why was she so afraid? “I guess I just wasn’t ready to face it myself,” she said finally. “They’re just a constant reminder that I wasn’t…wanted. That I was wrong. Bad. Abnormal.”
“Do you think I’m bad?” Teddy asked.
“What? No, of course not!” Y/N retorted, looking at him incredulously.
“Am I wrong for having my ability?” he continued. “Am I abnormal? Unwanted?”
“No! How could you say that?” she frowned.
“Because I feel the same about you,” Teddy said, reaching for and holding her hands. “You aren’t bad, you’re good. There’s nothing wrong with you for having a mutated gene that gives you abilities, just different. Does that make us abnormal? Sure. But so what? None of that means that you aren’t appreciated, wanted and loved.” He pulled her into a hug, which she quickly reciprocated. “Bucky wouldn’t have called me if he didn’t love and want you, scars and all.”
That made her cry all over again. She had really sold him and the others short. They had shown no signs of fear, hesitation or hate towards her the entire time she had been here, so why would a few scars make any difference? “Thank you,” she said, squeezing him tight.
“Anytime,” Teddy said, his teasing tone coming back in his voice. “But before you talk to everybody, you need to shower. You stink.”
“Teddy!”
***
Y/N was sitting on a lone chair facing the rest of the Avengers who were all sitting on the couches and chairs across the common room, watching her intently. “Um, firstly, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how I reacted the other day,” she started, wringing her hands in her lap. “And secondly, I wanted to explain.”
“You don’t have to explain,” Wanda said quickly. The others all nodded in agreement.
“I appreciate that, but I think I do,” Y/N said, giving them all a small smile. She took a deep breath then stood. “So, uh, this is what I was hiding,” she said, unzipping her jacket and turning around. She had a sports bra on so she wouldn’t be completely naked, but she shrugged the jacket off for them all to see. There was a chorus of gasps and sounds of surprise. Y/N let them look for a long moment before putting her jacket on and zipping it before she turned to sit back down and look at them. Wanda was crying, Yelena’s frown was the deepest she’d ever seen, and Peter, Sam, Tony, Bruce and Steve were all upset. But the worst was Bucky’s look of despair, a look that she’d only ever seen when he was coming out of his worst nightmares.
“My parents didn’t know how to handle my abilities when they manifested themselves,” she explained. “I was seven when I first heard my mom’s thoughts. I caught her in a lie, and she freaked out when she realized it was because I could hear her. Then as she was spanking me I screamed, and it shattered the kitchen window.” She swallowed, trying to not let it all make her cry again. “I tried not to let the constant voices get to me, but I didn’t know how to tune them out like I do now. My dad couldn’t handle the fact that I had inherited the mutant gene, that I was a ‘freak like his brother,’” she quoted with a scoff. “After a pretty bad day he lost it on me, and hit me with his belt until I stopped screaming.” She sniffed, quickly wiping her eyes before smiling. “They shipped me off to Uncle Teddy so he could deal with me, and uh…long story short, I’m scarred, physically and mentally, and it sucks but it is what it is. And I’m sorry I wasn’t trusting enough in all of you to be understanding about it–”
Wanda stood and walked over to her, kneeling down and hugging her tight. “It wasn’t any of our business until you felt it was, dearest. I’m sorry we all pushed you, we just didn’t know. But we should have accepted your refusal from the start. I’m sorry.”
Y/N hugged her back. “Thank you.”
They each approached her with hugs and apologies, Sam especially feeling horrible for being the one to force her to show her scars, but Y/N felt lighter than she had in years at the way they all accepted it and didn’t judge or treat her any differently than normal. Last to approach her was Bucky, who silently took her hand and pulled her out of the common room and towards her room. Y/N let him lead her, knowing that they would need to have their own conversation about everything. He closed her door behind her when she walked in then locked the door, and turned to face her. Tears were brimming in his eyes and she panicked at the sight.
“Bucky,” she said, reaching up and cupping his face. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry,” he whimpered. “I’m sorry I didn’t see, that I wasn’t someone you felt safe enough with to talk to about it–”
“No, oh my god, no, Buck,” Y/N shook her head fervently. “I do feel safe with you. I do trust you. I just wasn’t ready yet, do you hear me?” Bucky bit his lower lip to bite back more crying, sniffling as she wiped his tears away. “I love you,” she confessed.
His eyes widened at that. They hadn’t said it to each other yet, but Y/N knew what she felt and didn’t want to keep anything else from him. He released his lip and his lips trembled as he smiled at her. “I love you, too, babycakes,” he breathed. He wound his arms around her waist and pulled her into him, then leaned down and kissed her gently. Y/N let herself melt into the kiss, but after a minute or two Bucky’s hands shifted down her back to the front of her jacket. His fingers gripped the zipper and he pulled away to look at her. “May I see?” he asked, a look of sadness and determination in his eyes.
Y/N nodded and took a deep breath. Bucky getting up close and personal with her scars had worried her before, but now she knew he was just curious and wanting to make it better somehow for her. He nodded then pulled the zipper down slowly, helping her pull it off and letting it fall to the floor before his fingers traced up her stomach to her sports bra. She nodded permission, and he helped her take it off, leaving her top naked. He kissed her again, pushing her back towards her bed until the back of her legs hit the mattress. His fingers pulled her bottoms down and off, then pushed her to lay down on the bed. “Turn over for me,” he said.
She took a deep breath to steady her heartbeat, then turned herself over to lay on her stomach. There was a beat of silence, then Bucky’s flesh fingers touched the base of her spine where the scars began. Most of them were small gashes from the belt buckle and prong, but there were two long ones that stretched along her spine from the length of the leather belt hitting her skin just right so that it made the skin split. His fingers traced along those two, the worst ones that had stretched her skin and pinkened it. She heard his clothes jostling for a moment and then the bed dipped as he climbed up, kneeling between her legs. Both of his hands were now on her back, almost massaging along her spine, until he leaned down and he kissed the first small scar near her ass.
Bucky’s kisses traveled over her back, making sure he touched and kissed every scar reverently before moving on to the next one. It was overwhelming for Y/N, a fresh wave of tears silently falling down her face. He was being so gentle, so sweet, and she couldn’t help the emotional reaction she was having. She took another shaky breath as he finally reached the top of her longest scar in between her shoulder blades.
“My pretty babycakes,” he whispered against her skin. “I’m so sorry you weren’t loved the way you deserve. Thank you for trusting me.” His hands spread her legs further apart, his metal fingers moved in between her legs, his fingers slipping through her slit slowly. “Thank you for loving me,” he continued. “Can I make love to you like this, Y/N?”
She turned her head to look back at him. His eyes were focused on her pussy, then glancing up at her back until he met her gaze. “You want to see them while we…?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he nodded, leaning over so he could kiss her again. “You accepted me, scars and all. Let me return the favor.” Her breath hitched, her chin wobbling as she bit back a sob. She nodded with a small smile and he smiled back at her. “Thank you.”
His first two metal fingers dipped inside her, making her moan and her head flop back onto the bed. She didn’t realize she had gotten so wet just from his kisses across her back, but she had, and as he worked her up she couldn’t stop the tears as she thought about how wonderful this man of hers was. Bucky pumped his fingers in and out of her slowly, taking his sweet time in pulling any and all sounds he could from her until her legs started shaking. “That’s it, babycakes.”
She stiffened after a moment, then her body fell off that last precipice and she came, a small gush coating his fingers as she moaned into the blankets, her fingers gripping them tightly. Bucky’s fingers fucked her through it until she stopped shaking, then he pulled them out and she could hear him lick his fingers clean. “So good,” he mumbled. “Get on your knees for me.” Y/N struggled to shift up on her knees, leaning on her elbows as the side of her face rested against the bed. “Aw, still sensitive?” he asked teasingly, then she felt the tip of his cock rub through her pussy lips.
She jiggled her ass at him, and he chuckled, his flesh hand giving her right ass cheek a quick smack. “Good girl,” he said, then started pushing in. Y/N moaned into the bed, her legs slightly spreading even more to be able to take him in. She would never get used to this, just how perfect he felt inside her, but now in this position he felt even deeper somehow, making her eyes roll back.
“Buckyyyy…” she groaned when he was balls deep.
“Shit, baby,” he groaned with her. “God, as much as I love the way we’ve always done it, this is…fuck,” he huffed, his hips trembling with how far inside he felt. “This is different.” She nodded, her arms moving above her head to grip at the blankets more firmly. “And seeing your pretty ass raised like this for me,” he said, smacking her ass cheeks again, making her squeak. “I didn’t know what I was missing. And these,” his fingers traced up her scars again, his hips starting a steady pace in and out of her, “proving just how strong and good and beautiful my baby is. I’m so proud of you, Y/N.”
Y/N was overcome with emotion, her tears falling harder and her breaths heavy with sobs. “It’s okay, Y/N,” he said, keeping up the pace as he leaned over and across her back, positioning himself so he was basically mounting her. “Let it all out while I love you. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
It felt like he was everywhere, his face tucked into the back of her neck, his huffed breaths heating her skin and his deep, low voice in her ear and vibrating from his chest onto her back, his metal arm holding around her waist while his flesh arm kept him up so he couldn’t crush her. Feeling his front against her scarred back was somehow relieving, healing, like the skin to skin contact stitched together those last few pieces of her heart from when she was a child. Her orgasm was fast approaching again, her legs shaking under him as he fucked her slowly, deliberately, letting her feel every little thing. Her mental block slipped and she could hear him…
My strong girl.
My pretty babycakes.
“Atta girl, cum on me,” he said, kissing and licking her shoulder and the top of the longest scar. “I can feel you. Let go. Let it all go, babycakes.”
Y/N’s breathing picked up even faster, her fingers scratching at the bed until the pressure built up impossibly high, then she was cumming again. She squealed loudly as her pussy constricted around him, another gush spilling from her as she shook beneath him. Bucky whimpered at how tight she was around his cock, fucking deep into her a few more times until he stiffened and came, his hips trembling harder as he let it all out inside of her.
They sat like that for another minute or two as their combined highs calmed down. Bucky nuzzled his face into her hair before pulling himself up. He groaned as he slowly pulled himself out of her then turned her over so he could see her. Y/N felt like jelly as she slumped to her back, her eyes feeling heavy as she looked up at Bucky. He smirked at the look on her face, leaning down to kiss her deeply. She lazily kissed him back, and when his lips moved from her mouth and down her neck she moved herself any way he wanted her to as he kissed across her skin. “Mmh, sweetness,” she moaned lightly.
Bucky kissed back up to her face, kissing her cheek chastely before wiping away the tears that stained her cheeks. “I hope those are good tears,” he said quietly.
“Yes,” Y/N quickly nodded. “Yes. Thank you Bucky. That was incredibly…healing,” she said, sniffling before any more emotions could overwhelm her again.
He gave her a wide smile. “Please talk to me if you’re struggling, Y/N. Please don’t hide things from me. Nothing you say or do could make me judge or hate you. I love you too much,” he joked, nipping at her bottom lip.
She huffed a laugh at him, running her fingers through his hair affectionately. “I will, I promise,” she agreed. “I love you, sweetness.”
***
Bucky sat at the small kitchen table in the old house, waiting as the sounds of bustling movement came from the garage.
“Harry, stop being such an idiot!”
“Fuck off, Julia!”
Their shrill voices carried through the hallway, making Bucky grimace as he pointed the gun in his right hand, keeping it visible on top of the table for them to see as they walked in.
“How do you fuck up grabbing the bread I asked you to get? It’s the same bread we’ve bought for thirty years!” Julia yelled as she walked through the door, her arms heavy laden with grocery bags. She didn’t see him at first, plopping the bags on the floor before straightening herself up with a sigh, and as she turned to walk back out of the kitchen she did a double take of him. Her eyes widened, and just as she opened her mouth to scream Bucky held up the gun, his eyebrows raising in a dare. She cut herself off, her mouth shutting fast as she froze on the spot.
Harry walked through the door a moment later with a few bags in his hands. “Jesus, woman, will you just leave me alo–” he froze when he saw Bucky, glancing at Julia before dropping his bags. “What the fuck?!” he yelled. “Who are you?”
“Shut up and sit down,” Bucky snarled, cocking the gun toward the last empty seat at the table. Harry looked defiant but fearful, his jaw ticking as he slowly walked forward and sat down. Bucky could see Julia inching towards the sink. “I already grabbed that gun earlier,” he said to her. “And you could try the knife block, but it won’t end well for either of you.” Julia froze again, her eyes staying comically wide. Bucky focused back on Harry. “I’m not here to kill you,” he said.
Harry’s frown deepened. “Then what do you want? We don’t have any money.”
“Right, you’re just trying to get it from your daughter,” Bucky said, revealing his left arm as he let it fall on the table with a heavy thud that made a crack in the tabletop. Harry’s eyes widened, his mouth dropping open and Julia whimpered behind him as they recognized him. “Let me just make something abundantly clear,” he continued. “You will not contact her again. No calls, no emails, no more pathetic letters,” he said, unfurling his closed metal fist and letting the crumpled letter he’d taken fall on the table. “She owes you nothing. Don’t you ever bother her or interrupt her happiness again. Do as you have done for the past 20 years, and leave her alone.”
“You have no right–” Harry started.
*BANG*
Julia screamed, cowering in the corner of the kitchen while Harry sat shaking, breathing heavily as blood trickled down from where the top of his left ear had been grazed. Bucky glared at him, pointing the gun more toward his face. “Do I need to repeat myself?” he asked dangerously. Harry shook his head fast. “Answer me,” Bucky grumbled.
“N-n-no,” Harry stammered.
“No, what?” Bucky asked, tilting his head at him.
“No s-sir,” Harry said, his chin wobbling as his eyes brimmed with tears.
Bucky glanced at Julia, who quickly nodded and held her hands up. “No sir,” she cried.
He glared at them both for another moment before nodding. He stood from the table, putting his gun away before walking toward the door they had come through. He stopped at the doorway and turned to look at Julia. “If I ever even hear of either of you again, I’ll end you. Slowly,” he warned, his metal arm whirring as he clenched his fist. Julia sniffled sadly, nodding again. Bucky huffed a laugh at how pathetic they were, then walked out of the house. If there was anything he could do to protect his babycakes, he would do it.
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Fandom: Dead By Daylight
Character: The Oni
Pairing: Romantic
Type of Fic: Concept (HCs)
Sure! Let me see what I can do for him....
Yandere! The Oni/Kazan Yamaoka Concept
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Violence, Murder, Blood, Sadism, Delusional behavior, Mild gore, Forced "relationship".
Kazan was once a very prideful man.
Too prideful, honestly.
Kazan was so prideful it turned him into a monster.
He's more akin to a manchild having a tantrum than an honorable samurai.
He slaughtered countless before The Entity took him in as a pawn.
They were most likely innocents, but not in his eyes.
They were pretenders, people unworthy of considering themselves samurai.
Kazan even killed his own father and tried to justify that to himself.
To Kazan, he kills out of pride, it's something he must do for honor.
In reality, even as The Entity manipulates him, he's killing those who can't fight back.
Kazan had shown mercy occasionally through his personal crusade.
Yet most now know him as a rage filled monster, completely unable to calm himself.
Kazan was never really known for love.
History mostly knows him as a man who became a demon.
Hell, there's no way he doesn't look like a monster to you on trials.
To you, he's a rampaging demon who lost himself long ago.
It's hard to imagine the hallucinations make Kazan able to give mercy or soothe his anger.
Truthfully he never can soothe his anger.
Although... Imagine this...
Imagine being the only one Kazan seems soothed by.
Perhaps you remind him of a past lover he once had.
After all, he's related to The Spirit.
That must mean he's had a lover once, one he managed to have at least one child with (If I got this one wrong lore-wise, my bad...).
Within his delusions due to The Entity, he experiences brief moments of clarity around you.
The demon temporarily pauses his onslaught when he sees you, club raised in the air as he looks you over.
He doesn't remember how long it's been since he was actually... loving?
He had a family once, right?
It's so hard to remember.
It almost frustrates him that he can't bring himself to kill you.
He's probably managed to get rid of you before... but the longer he goes, the more he hesitates.
There's times he'll chase you, but he never swings.
It's just like he's following you, chasing delusions of a lover he once had.
In reality you're a different person he's chosen to project onto.
It's easy to imagine Kazan as a possessive beast.
But imagine him being oddly... gentle towards an obsession he sees as his lover?
It's strange how he changes around you.
Even other survivors around you are baffled when they see the beast calm around you, reaching out to you with what seems to be muttered apologies?
You don't understand what he's apologizing before... because you aren't who he thinks you are.
Even when he realizes you aren't, he may still try to remain hopeful that you'll reciprocate.
Other survivors shouldn't mistake this state as passive though.
If Kazan sees another survivor around you, the rage immediately comes back.
It doesn't take long before that survivor is chased down with animalistic fervor.
By the end of it they've met Kazan's sword or club, the weapons he wields coated in a thick coat of blood and viscera.
Kazan is a demon transformed by his rage.
Which is why it's weird he follows you around trials, giving chase but never pouncing.
When he does go for you, he prefers to grapple you to his chest.
It's more like a crushing embrace than anything else....
It's much different behavior compared to how he usually is.
You tense when he caresses your face and plays with your hair.
He observes you like you're a doll that's easy to break.
Honestly, due to his strength, that isn't entirely off.
While I can see Kazan harming his obsession in a blind rage... I want to think of a different take.
I like to think you're the only thing that's managed to soothe him.
The only reason The Entity allows this is because Kazan is more aggressive towards other survivors afterwards.
He sees them as people trying to take you from him.
If we assume The Entity is feeding him hallucinations, it's no doubt doing this to pressure Kazan into entertaining it more.
In return, Kazan is allowed an outlet.
He's allowed to keep you to himself, to hold you and play pretend....
You may be shuddering, tears pricking your eyes as you force yourself to stay still for the demon...
But this was never about you.
The Entity needs its killers to serve it well, which means sacrifices must be made to keep their loyalty.
If allowing this killer to keep you to himself garners more bloodshed...
That is what will happen.
Kazan has no doubt killed you in previous trials...
Yet now he confuses you by treating you as though you're precious.
At some point you may accept this treatment, it's better than nothing, isn't it?
You've seen and occasionally even felt what he can do....
The blood and sickening crunch of bones is hard to ignore or forget.
You feel it's better to placate the beast when it comes to being trapped in a place like this.
You allow yourself to be dwarfed by his size, to feel borderline claustrophobic in his tight strong hold.
It's not like there's any other option, right?
Certainly not in this realm where not even death allows you to escape the horrors this place holds... compared to that... this is a mercy.
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Jealous hazbin hotel x reader part2
Author notes: hiiiiii guyssss (^-^)/❤️I really enjoyed writing this, I hope you like it, I have already posted part 1 so don’t hesitate to go see it requests are open ❤️
Part 1 here !
⚠️warning: none, part of valentino which is a little suggestive
Vox📺
♤When he's in love he's quite, strange, he'll use some sort of techniques to "chance" come across you in the street in order to chat with you and spend time with you. he will spy on you through all your screens will monitor you 24/7 phone, computer, television EVERYTHING! If you have the misfortune of working for him listen, he treats you like a king/queen, my god paid vacations, salary increases for no reason but one day when he saw you talking with peppermint his whole body boiled with anger, he wanted to murder, jealousy invaded him
“Hello Y/N, how are you?
"Hey, hello sir, I'm very well and you?
“I’m fine thank you thank you, could you follow me into my office now!
“oh uh yes I’m coming”
"GOOD ..."
he was going away leaving you alone a few minutes later you knocked on his office door Tock tock
“come in y/n
“mr vox what can I do for you”
" Why !
“why what?
“why were you talking to that idiot
“uh he’s my friend
"your friend?? I'm not enough for you anymore? Do you think you need someone other than me
you understood immediately what was happening so you decided to approach him, you sat on his knees and you kissed him you could feel these hands delicately placed on your hips
“don’t worry vox, I’m yours and only yours” “there it is, it’s better, I like hearing that doll
Velvette 💜
◇She stalks you, clearly she is completely crazy about you, she will stalk you on all your social networks, and in that head you are already hers and no one can take you from her so one day when she saw you flirting with this demon in the street she went completely crazy she grabbed you by the arm kissed you and took a photo of the kiss, so that everyone knows who you belong to, when you came out of the kiss you looked at her in shock and she said to you
“come on baby let’s go home
you weren't even in a relationship that she already considered you as her partner it's cute
Valentino 🦋
♡He loves you and good luck he will do everything in his power to keep you close to him so if you have the misfortune of making him jealous you will have to pay the consequences, like that time when you were flirting with one of Velvette's models he could feel the hatred in his whole body he killed the demon directly and told you
"mi amore don't be stupid thinking that someone else could love you as much as me, advise don't even try to make me jealous anymore
he placed a kiss on your lips
"I love you you know, now I think it's time to give you your punishment, come here~
I can tell you that the night was long...
Carmila carmine🗡
♧It took a lot of time for Carmila to accept her feelings, so I believe that she won't let you go until she has the courage to confess these feelings to you, just like Vaggie I see her very jealous so if she sees you laughing or flirting with another demon she will kill him directly like last time: you were in the street chatting with a very charming demon and carmila didn't like it, she wanted to kill I can tell you that.
“Y/n my dear how about we go for a walk somewhere else
"later carmila i'm busy
she was dying to kill this demon she grabbed you and kissed you letting the demon go when she broke the lowering she told you
“y/n I’m sorry it’s just… I love you and I..
you didn't give her time to finish that sentence as you crushed your lips against his
Cherry bomb💣
●chery bomb she was not afraid to confess her feelings to you so you understood very quickly that she loved you and you had fun trying to make her jealous like this time: you were in the hotel lobby chatting with lucifer when you saw cherry you decided to have fun flirting a little with the king of hell {he was completely upset, poor guy} and cherry had fallen into your trap and only wanted to catch you and make you pay for what you're doing to her so she approached you and said
"do you think you're funny?
" A little
"pff, really stupid
"but I'm your idiot and yours alone
These last words escaped you but that didn't stop Cherry from grabbing you and kissing you in front of everyone at the hotel
Adam😇
○ Him jealous Adam the first man no ever in life..... yes that's what he said when he and Lute saw you talking with Saint Peter but deep down he only had one desire was to grab you like a potato sack and take you away from this idiot and that's what he did "hee adam let go of me
"No
"you're really just an asshole
“I like it when you talk to me like that baby"
you let out a slight laugh, because you and adam weren't a couple but you flirted a lot together he kissed you on the cheek and said
“i love you bitch
“Adam I love you too, asshole
Hope you like it ❤️❤️❤️❤️(^-^)/❤️
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vampire!reader x vampire hunter!character drabble
cw: a bit suggestive, reader is a menace, not proofread, intended lowercase, vampire hunter has no name lmao
wc: 1.3k
a/n: got this idea while using c.ai, u can imagine this as any of ur favs <3
you're inside of the home of one of your most recent victims, sitting on the couch. you were relaxing, blood dripping from your mouth and hands as you finished drinking the blood of some random businessman.
you were well-known across many villages, feared for your somewhat violent nature, but you preferred the quiet life if you were being honest. the people knew of you, but they had no idea what you looked like, which you took advantage of.
suddenly, you hear the door open, and from it emerged a man. not your average man, though. he was a vampire hunter. and a skilled one at that.
he looked at you with a calm expression, but there was something else behind it.
“i’ll avenge the countless innocent people you ruthlessly killed.” he said, with determination laced in his voice.
“mm, sure you will”, you replied sarcastically. “you look quite young for a hunter”, you say, taking in his features.
“is this your way to get me to let you-” he cut himself off mid-sentence and shook his head. he looks you up and down. “you don’t look too old yourself.”
“looks can be deceiving.”
he smiled, though with barely any emotion behind it. “how long have you been around?”
“hmm,” you took a while to respond. “a couple centuries, i'd say.”
“huh, that’s much older than i anticipated..” he thought to himself. He regained his focus and asked you his next question. “how many people have you killed.” he uttered in a calm, yet cold tone.
“eh, not many to be honest.”
he raised an eyebrow, his expression one of surprise as that was not the answer he was expecting. “oh really?” he murmured. he then took a step closer to you, looking you in the eyes as he tried to read your expression. ”why's that?"
“i don’t attack people unprovoked.” you responded dryly.
he stopped right in front of you, looking down towards you as you sat on the couch. “so you only kill as self-defense?” he said, seeming interested.
“yeah, basically,” you answered.
“i find that quite hard to believe, i mean, why wouldn’t you attack humans?” he questions.
“well, consider the fact that i haven’t killed you yet.” you said with a blank expression
he chuckled softly, looking somewhat amused. “that’s a fair point, i suppose.” he mumbles, mostly to himself. “but why not attack? surely it would’ve been easier for you that way.”
“eh, i don’t really have a reason to.” you said.
his expression changed to a confused one. he slightly narrowed his eyes, not breaking eye-contact with you. “why don’t you want to? a hungry vampire kills for blood.”
“i usually use animals as a blood supply. and besides, if i drank blood from a human they wouldn’t die.”
“so you don’t usually kill humans? you just feed off of us and walk off?” his surprised expression returns.
“not really, even though human blood tastes much better.” you said.
he raised an eyebrow and leaned closer to you. “it tastes better, yet you don’t?”
“mhm, because i’m so nice.”
he laughed again and softly shook his head, looking more amused. “sure you are.” he said sarcastically. he paused for a moment, before continuing to speak again. “you’re quite the interesting individual, aren’t you.” he said, now standing right in front of you.
“i’d suggest you step back.” you warn.
he does the complete opposite, taking another step towards you. “why should i? are you getting scared?”
“no,” you respond, “but i am still hungry.”
“i see, hungry for what, i may ask?” he says in a teasing tone.
“your blood? what kind of question is that?” you reply dryly.
he continued to grin as he lightly grabbed your chin, tilting your head so you were looking directly at him. “you want to drink my blood, don’t y-”
before he could finish his sentence, you latched your fangs onto his neck and sunk them in. he winced in pain and grabbed at your shoulders as you drew out blood from his neck, drinking it directly from the source.
his grip on your shoulders tightened, but he didn’t pull away. his eyes screwed shut and he tried to stay calm, a few sounds left his lips, but he tried not to make too much noise as you drank.
you on the other hand, were having the time of your life drinking his blood. it was succulent and sweet, more addictive than anything you’ve ever had before.
you pulled away for a moment, and began licking and sucking at the wound you left behind, making sure that not even a drop of his blood was to go to waste. he winced again as you continued to lick and suck on his wound.
he fell down onto the couch, still visibly in pain.
“that really hurt y’know..”
“you taste good.” you say, ignoring his previous statement.
he lightly rolled his eyes. “is that the only reason you did that?” he teased. “you sure are something.”
“says the one who was basically whimpering.”
he freezes for a second. he then crossed his arms, his pain seemingly gone. “i wasn’t whimpering, i was merely grunting from the pain.” he spoke.
lies, he was 100% whimpering.
you eye the injury on his neck, courtesy of yourself, and feel yourself grow hungry again. you lean in towards him and reattach yourself onto his neck and continue drinking. A few quiet whimpers leave his mouth as you do so.
“wow, you’re definitely not whimpering right now.” you say as you continue.
“s-shut up..” he said breathlessly.
you climbed on top of him for easier access and wrapped your legs around him, practically straddling him as you drew your fangs deeper into his neck. more whimpers escaped his lips as he instinctively grabbed your hips.
“a-ah..! ow, ow!” he opened his mouth to speak again, but was too distracted by your current position. heat rushed to his face as his cheeks were dusted with a light blush.
you began gently biting and sucking other parts of his neck, leaving small marks that were certain to blossom into bruises later, but that wasn’t your problem. his grip on your hips tightened as he leaned back into the couch, throwing his head back and allowing you to have more space, his breathing becoming ragged and uneven. he tried to regain his composure, but his attempts were unsuccessful as you continued.
you pulled away from his neck again to see his face, and oh, what a sight it was. sweat was dripping down his forehead, his face was flushed, his hair disheveled. he was breathing heavily, and his eyes were practically rolling to his skull.
what a masochist
after a while of admiring his disheveled state, his hand reached the back of your head and guided it back towards his neck, wordlessly asking you to continue. who were you to refuse such an offer?
as he requested, you bit deep into the other side of his neck, lapping up the blood that escaped. You began kissing and sucking other parts of his neck and now exposed collarbone, biting down gently, not enough for it to bleed, but it would definitely leave a mark.
soft moans escaped his lips and his grip on your hips grew tighter. he arched his back a bit and continued to let out sounds of pain and pleasure. His entire face was completely red, and he couldn’t seem to form any words, just soft, needy, whimpers and moans.
you continued for a bit longer, and his moans only grew louder and louder. After a short while, his pretty moans came to a halt, heavy breathing replacing them. you got off of his lap, only to find a wet patch over his pants where you were once sitting.
damn that was kinda hot-
#drabble#x reader#vampire reader#vampire#suggestive#hsr x reader#jjk x reader#genshin impact x reader#mha x reader#demon slayer x reader#smut#does this count as smut?#i dont think so#ddlc x reader#yandere simulator x reader#fnaf x reader
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Not too many actors or actress can claim TWO Academy Awards: her first for what is considered one of the greatest roles an actress can have as the immortal Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind (1939, MGM) and her second for her mesmerizing performance as another southern belle as Blanche DuBois, A Streetcar Named Desire (1951, Warner, Brothers). Vivien Leigh had two strikes against her: she was Bi-polar and she suffered bouts of Tuberculosis throughout her life and she would eventually die from the disease on July 8, 1967 at the age of 53. Can you imagine any other actress then Vivien Leigh in the role of Scarlett or Blanche? Most probably not, I cannot see another actress giving a better performance than Vivien did. In all of her portrayals of her film characters she was: unsentimental, detached, and never giving or asking or expecting any for sympathy. Perhaps she was predestined to make her mark in a film so sprawling, so epic as Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind. Scarlett was not a character that was likeable but she was tenacious, she was determined and she was strong-willed but you wanted her to see her come out on top. She was the center of it all when filming Gone With The Wind. Vivien's interpretation of Scarlett O’Hara is perfect – she never hits or makes a false note. We never see acting, we only see the character, as close to a real, living person to any actor could ever create for the screen. Vivien had the unique power of intimacy which kept her performances fresh long after many of her commentaries have faded away. With the possible exception of Paulette Goddard, the other leading contenders for the part would have had difficulty articulating One also has to give Vivien credit for being the main reason why Gone with the Wind is the most famous movie ever. She is in 99% of this 3 and a-half-hour epic, she has to carry this massive production on her shoulders. And boy, does she succeed! Another very interesting aspect of the film is Scarlett's friendship with Olivia de Havilland's role as Melanie Hamilton, they both have great chemistry between the two of them, Vivien is perfect in showing her mixed feelings towards Melanie, her dislike and admiration at the same time. I remember reading this quote and I could not agree more, "It is such a natural performance of a truly larger-than-life character that “Fidlee-dee-dee” seems to be the only word to describe it…I really give a damn!" In 1951 Vivien Leigh would receive her second Academy Award for another Southern Belle in A Streetcar Named Desire (Warner Brothers). While Streetcar was a professional triumph for Vivien, playing Blanche took its toll on Leigh’s mental health. Portraying and identifying with someone so near insanity was overwhelming for Leigh as she absorbed Blanche’s psychology in a way that was hard for her to let go of. Later, when she was ill, she would often recite lines from the play. As she put it, “Blanche is a woman with everything stripped away. She is a tragic figure and I understand her. But, playing her tipped me into madness.” The fact that both of Vivien Leigh’s Oscar-winning portrayals are some kind of Southern Belles would make it easy to see Blanche DuBois as an alter ego of Scarlett O’Hara but where Scarlett O’Hara had the strength to adjust herself to a new life, to new circumstances and situations, Blanche DuBois is exactly the opposite as she cannot leave the past behind, lets it haunt and torture her, influence her actions and finally breaks her. Vivien Leigh gave a performance that dug so deeply in this character’s mind and portrayed such unforgettable moments, that it is one of a few movie performances that can truly be called a work of art proofing once and for all the greatness of her talent and standing as a symbol for movie acting at its finest.
Vivien Leigh in Caesar and Cleopatra (1945)
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"Despite their normally laid-back demeanor, STARs have a strong internal hierarchy [...] STARs will occasionally develop in-group rules involving physical punishments."
Anyways, just a normal day for Powder and company. I should have finished this drawing earlier if not because I wanted to give it better ✨characterization✨ and remade the sketch to push more the poses.
So yeah, the girls shown here are fom left to right: Trigger (leader, often de-escalates conflicts within the group), Striker ("Yes boss" type of character, frequently seen by Trigger's side), Zwanzig (Older unit transferred from another facility. Not a fan of nicknames as you can see, so others just refer to her by her given designaton), Powder (Powder) and Barrel (Newest unit who is still getting adjusted to the cadre dynamics. She has a thing for Storch units).
^^^ ...They're all weird.
#idk if it's genuinely hard or I just suck at drawing#but character interactions are very difficult for me to draw#which is another reason why this took me so long#signalis#signalis fanart#signalis oc#my ocs#my art#star signalis#the powder tag#trigger's cadre
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9d575b8fd426074661f5c1b717ed0967/28c701e1a7e18052-f5/s540x810/f73b0fa2536dbffc85e1f1ab91f40e4e85dd82e3.jpg)
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[11]
Yuuko debrief time!
I love how we have in-text examples of exactly what Yuuko is talking about over in Tsubasa. As she says, if someone actually has a void then it won’t actually elicit any emotional response, because they feel nothing about it - just like when Syaoran’s soul went missing and he really was just emotionless all the way down. He couldn’t feel anything because there was nothing to feel with. And Yuuko uses that concept as a way to show Watanuki that even though it seemed to end badly he was actually completely correct and did actually offer her something valuable, but it was her choice not to take it.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e919ee3c77bc365229583a7c4414aa89/28c701e1a7e18052-ed/s540x810/468804cc8cf62202444666318145cd708f17bd90.jpg)
OH OH OH I LOVE THIS SENTIMENT EVEN MORE.
Watanuki, the sunshine child, worries that she didn’t want to hear what he had to say. But Yuuko puts aside whatever the customer might or might not want and puts Watanuki’s own feelings on the same level of importance.
If Watanuki WANTED to express that sentiment then his feelings are valid and he has every right to have said it. His feelings and opinions are every much as important as anyone else's and deserve to be expressed. He is allowed to take up space in the world and be a full person, not only when it is conveniently what the other person wants to hear.
Which is a sentiment Watanuki might not fully grasp just yet BUT ONE DAY.
#It took me a very long time to learn this also#I think it is especially hard to learn when you are the ‘nice’ one#And Watanuki tries so hard to be nice!#Which! Is another reason why Doumeki’s friendship is so good for him#It gives him space to HAVE opinions and express them#Completely in the face of anything Doumeki might want to hear#Perhaps even deliberately to spite what Doumeki wants to hear#And it’s a good way to balance out his more humble instincts#He deserves to be heard!#Not liveblogging the reservoir chronicle#xxxholic 89#xxxholic#Watanuki#Yuuko Ichihara#I guess I’m saying Watanuki is naturally very... demure very... mindful#But the growth is in being not JUST that
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On Abigail and Shawn's Relationship (Psych)
~By someone who's only halfway through Psych~
I actually really liked Abigail and her place in Psych. She's obviously a tie to Shawn's past, but I think she plays an important part beyond just being an obstacle for Shules. For one thing, she feels like a fleshed out character. She has a personality, and while it feels like it's meant to bounce off Shawn's, very similar humor-wise imo, it still very much feels like her own; she has her own ambitions and her own life outside of Shawn and Psych. She likes people, she believes in education, she's a teacher, these are all aspects of her that come out in her time on the show (trying to fix Henry and Shawn's relationship (which I address a lil in the tags), otherwise respecting Shawn's distance, going to her teacher conference instead of the skiing trip, leaving for Uganda for an opportunity she's wanted for six years). She's also still clearly affected by the fact that Shawn had stood her up way back in high school, and this connection is what makes her such an important character for Shawn's development, imo.
Abigail is her own person, but she also serves as a waypoint for Shawn. He gets to fix his mistake of standing her up, and he also learns how to function in a long-term relationship. While admittedly having the relationship start with a "Gus, I can totally do it, watch this" isn't the best, it's reasonable for his character and serves as a wonderful beginning point for his maturation arc. Throughout the relationship, Gus (and company) helps Shawn navigate the differences between a fling and a long-term relationship. He starts to mature and understand that he has to check in with Abigail, he has to make dates and stick with them, he has to have mature conversations with her, he has to respect her time, etc.
Furthermore, it also helps Abigail get over said past mistake. She gets to take her relationship with Shawn one step further, feel it out, see how it would have gone, as Shawn progresses from child-like understanding of relationships to a more mature, grown-up perspective. His repeated showing up, starting from the moment he turned down Juliet in the drive-in because he had a standing date with Abigail (even though he was in love with Juliet at the time; honestly one of the biggest bullets dodged in the show; I have never seen a situation handled so neatly. There was no two-timing, no lying (well, minor lying to Abigail, ig), and they really tried to reinforce their platonic relationship instead of ignoring a possible wedge between them. It was so... refreshing.) I would bargain actually heals something in Abigail, showing her that Shawn is willing to step up as well as that Abigail is someone worth showing up for. It isn't as clear an arc for her, but I'd wager it's there, at least in the background, which is what makes their relationship so interesting.
In the end, the relationship works as a waypoint for the both of them. Shawn learns what it means to be in a long-term relationship, preparing him for a future with Juliet. In return, Abigail has a chapter of her life closed on a high note and is able to move on with her life without the what-ifs and emotional burdens of her past.
#I started writing this half-way through season 4 after Abigail left for Uganda#gonna go back and look at it once I finish (the show or their relationship I'm not sure) (edit: I have looked after s4; I think it's good??#maybe this was on my mind because a friend of mine just recently got out of a long relationship#and I was helping rationalize by saying that the relationship served as a waypoint for the both of them#a sort of growth period and now they have to grow separately#and the psych relationships. were just??#like I love Shawn and Juliet so much don't get me wrong. but??? as far as “we're pushing off this ship so anyway have another ship” ships g#ABIGAIL AND SHAWN ACTUALLY WORKED SO WELLL???#like I know I just literally wrote an essay on why#BUT IT WAS SO REFRESHING???#I liked Abigail?? I thought she was great?? She didn't have any crap with Juliet or anyone else either which was fantastic???#AND SHAWN TURNING DOWN JULIET IN THE DRIVE IN#like devastating obviously but#OH MY GOSH ANY OTHER SHOW AND IT WOULD HAVE CAUSED SUCH MASSIVE PROBLEMS#either shawn and juliet would've gotten together on the side and it would've been a whole thing or abigail would've gotten her heart broken#again (either bc she was stood up again or bc she was being cheated on) or it would've been some weird wedge btwn shawn and jules too long#BUT IT WASN'T!?!?! Shawn told her that it was literally bad timing (that's it) and Juliet took it so well and then Abigail got her date and#yeah part of me believes that Shawn should have politely let her go after the drive-in date#but even so they're relationship was so healthy and wholesome??? like?? if not Shules then Shawn/Abigail FOR SURE!!!!#gosh I fuck with this show SO. HARD.#psych 2006#shawn spencer#abigail lytar#juliet ohara#shawn and gus#shabby#I think is the ship name which is so funny because it really is a “not too shabby” ship XD XD#also I know some ppl have issues with Abigail going and meeting with Henry anyway but for some reason I think that also works for her?? lik#she's a teacher; she talks to the parents if a kid is acting a way ofc if Shawn doesn't want to discuss it she'll go directly to the parent#just yelling into the void
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Before I reply there's something I must clarify: I never said the deal was about transmigration, tho? I just said deal.
I didn't put the word transmigration anywhere, and I specifically talked about reincarnation only the whole time in my first post.
Not sure where you got the transmigration bit about, but this just serves to point out how we all interpret things differently!
Anyways!
You're correct in the fact it hasn't been outright stated that LSH was offered a deal at the time of his death. After all, we solely got CJS' pov through CH.
However, just because we didn't get a word-for-word retell of it, doesn't mean it didn't happen.
It can be truth or not until proven otherwise, simply because in this novel a lot of things happen off-screen or are not revealed before time, but nothing happens without a reason.
Examples of this: the apocalypse on Earth 1, KRS' abilities, ogCale's character inconsistency in general (and boy don't we all know how long it took us to know the truth 🫠), Choi Jung Gun and his multiple identities and so on.
What makes me inclined to believe LSH did get a deal offer is the following trail:
CJS & LSH both made deals in the afterlife. This is canon and confirmed.
If i remember correctly, it is around 423-426 when Cale meets LSH in his dream and gives him embrace. LSH confirms that both CJS and himself made a deal to pass on an ability.
Of course, later on we get to know this deal was LSH's way of earn merit and earn his memories in his reincarnation.
But, to me, it's the fact he got the chance what matters.
LSH's words to Cale during their meeting.
'There are times when gods make mistakes.'
'I didn't die in your place. I died while running wild. Got it?'
In my interpretation of things:
There are times when gods make mistakes = Death fucked up.
I didn't die in your place = dont blame yourself for it.
Which complements with what we saw during CJS' memories about not being CJS time to die yet.
So it can be inferred that maybe, MAYBE, LSH got a similar speech.
I reiterate this is just my interpretation of things and I am no know-it-all, nor do I claim my knowledge is absolute or irrefutable because that's just not true.
Also. You actually brought up my next point yourself!
None of the old Team 1 members (who died in the same day as them) sans CJS & LSH got the chance to make any kind of deal. Not to pass an ability. Nada.
Given all that is why I have interpreted the novel the way I have. I can be wrong ofc, the novel will show me in due time.
Now, as to why I assume GoD fucked LSH over. It is because of the following track record:
GoD made a deal with both CJS and LSH so they would each transfer one of their bilities to a person of their chosing.
LSH confirms that GoD deliberately didn't tell CJS that Choi Han would see his memories and his death in order to earn said ability.
In CH's POV we see GoD admitting to CJS that he didn't even ask his ancestors for consent before transporting them to Nameless 1
The contents of CJS' deal were laughable. GoD essentially just said 'oh boy it's not your time yet, i usually don't ask for permission, but yadda yadda would you wanna live in another world?'
The state of said world shone by its absence during GoD's description.
Following that behavioral pattern we got KRS!Cale own consentless transmigration.
GoD essentially scammed CH out of a good chunk of his lifespan for no reason.
It is true CH did make a deal himself. However, the reason why I label it as a scam is because... doesn't that deal become pointless after Part 2?
CH made that deal to enter the SG's test. Which was taking place in a different world.
And what does everyone in Part 2 do? World hopping.
Sure. Cale and his group do have limitations and constraints when traveling worlds, but no one got robbed the way CH did to make that happen.
You'd think at least the Elves who have long lifespan would have to adhere to similar conditions, but nope!
I know CH is happy and all about his deal cos now his lifespan matches Raon's but ??? GoD ??? what do you have to say for yourself???
So,,, yeah. All that, along with other details that I'm certainly forgetting rn, is why my faith in GoD is at rock bottom and I'm unable to believe he's not fucking LSH over.
Yet again, this is all just my interpretation and opinion based on of all the above tho. Opinion is subjected to change as soon as confirmed information comes out in the novel.
If anything, I want the deets from the author to revisit this at some point and see what did I get right
When I think the God of Death can't get worse I remember that bro offered Lee Soo Hyuk a deal, got turned down, and then he decided to fuck up Lee Soo Hyuk in the afterlife for absolute no reason.
Cos GoD can (and has) gone out of his way to make stuff happen before, but for some reason he got a very stick-to-the-book, migration-agent-like attitude when it came to LSH's reincarnation.
I guess GoD couldn't really do anything when it comes to Choi Jung Soo cos wanderer privilege™ but the change in treatment is very sus.
And before anyone tells me "nah, that's reaching a bit---" let's remember this guy has a track record of kicking people from their homeworlds without consent (CJG, CH, Cale) so I don't put it past him to do it out of sheer pettiness.
No but seriously, it's so weird how he's willing to bend rules for other ppl but he's an asshole to LSH. I really need a reason for that cos ??? I don't believe in that 'sticking to the rules' bullshit
Allow me to flesh out this idea, in case you missed the point:
The whole thing this is about is how GoD went from 'yadda yadda make a deal with me pls' to 'yeah you're a reincarnator but there's bureaucracy™, so have your own version of the herculean tasks and let's talk about it later' with LSH and LSH only.
And the whole reason I'm bringing it up is because, unless GoD planned to fuck him over like that from the get-go, his attitude is very ???
Didn't LSH help defeat the WS anyways? Or we're just gonna ignore the fact LSH essentially gave Cale a spatial pocket dimension of his own, which allowed Cale kill WS at his own pace 🤷🏻♀️
"Oh but that's bc LSH needed to gather merit!" And what was the game plan in the case LSH took the deal instead of dying on KRS' behalf? <<< THAT'S where I'm getting at.
Whether he took the deal or not, LSH was required to help take down WS anyways. The only difference is that the second time was practically demanded of him, but the first time it wasn't 🤨
And that's the point. The rules changed. Like,, GoD pretended to skip said reincarnation bureaucracy once but then backtracked and conveniently became a rule-oriented guy?? Talk about lack of consistency.
You can argue "well, it's because the first time is a deal!" as if LSH couldn't just strike a deal after being dead lol
Let's not pretend the GoD's deals are some exclusive VIP shit, bro does them so often that the concept has devalued a lot over time.
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By weird dub, do you mean the 4kids one which like edited out guns and blood and made every character make puns all the time? Because that's the weirdest dub I know of and the one that most English speakers found first... Which has led to a lot of those same people thinking One piece was not a good series.... So if that's the one, I wholeheartedly understand why you couldn't get through it.
Yep that's the one honestly from what I remember it was like a pg version of an abridged series it wasn’t great
#ask#anon#tbf there was two other reasons why i decided to not give the anime or manga another go#and thats bc i honestly didn’t like how the girls in the series were drawn#and im not a fan of mascot characters#and i knew there was going to be one joining the crew at some point#but also i found out very recently that mascot character is actually like a doctor#which for some reason completely changed my mind about watching the show#my brain went#thats not a mascot character#thats a important member of the crew#im not even lying#theres a reason it took me so long to watch the live action
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Fool Me Twice [4/?]
After more than a month, I'm back with this update which is... not extremely long, but I figured I would post it before I lose confidence :')
Part 4 ft. (the aftermaths of) fake dating, a cold, and an office conversation
You can read part 1 [here]! (No additional context is needed aside from the previous 3 parts.)
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Work resumes on the 3rd. Yves thinks of all the ways he might thank Vincent for all the trouble—a late New Year’s gift? (But he doesn’t know what Vincent would like, except presumably useful things, but if they’re useful, shouldn’t Vincent have them already?) An invitation to dinner at some nice restaurant? (But what if Vincent sees it as another inconvenient proposition—as more time outside of work which he’ll be obligated to spend with someone he doesn’t even know that well?) A gift card to a nice restaurant? (But would that not come across wrong—presumptuous at best, condescending at worst?)
Normally, Yves would ask Margot—ever the voice of reason—for advice, but it occurs to him, now, that he won’t be able to consult any of his college friends about this if he intends to keep up the lie.
And there’s that, too. If he intends on going to any future events that Margot—or any of his other college friends, at that—will host, he’ll have to tell them that he and Vincent have broken up since (which will only serve to prove Erika’s point that Yves isn’t everything he’s made himself out to be—at least, when it comes to relationships), or think of some sort of way to excuse Vincent’s continued absences.
If one thing’s for sure, it’s that asking any more of Vincent than he’s already asked is entirely out of the question.
Yves drives himself to work on Tuesday morning, gets to his office earlier than most, says hi to Cara and Laurent, and gets to work. It’s easy enough to settle into work again, to a 10am meeting with the team and another couple calls with clients, to all the paperwork and data analysis he’d for himself before the winter holidays.
Vincent usually gets to work early—he’s always there when Yves gets to the office—and stays late. He’s usually at the break room at 10:15, unless he has a meeting of some sort, for his usual morning coffee. He works on the same floor, but his cubicle is far enough away that Yves can’t see him from where he sits.
Yves doesn’t look for him. Better to catch him in the morning in the break room or at lunch in the company cafeteria, Yves thinks, as to not risk interrupting him in the middle of something important.
But Vincent—despite showing up to a morning conference with the team—is surprisingly absent from the break room at 10:15. And then Yves ends up working with Cara on an upcoming presentation until 1, and when he gets to the cafeteria, Vincent isn’t there, either.
It’s unfortunate timing, or perhaps Vincent is just unusually busy. Yves knows he does a lot of work behind the scenes, from the few times he’s asked him what he was working on and gotten an intimidating list of projects in response. When he passes Vincent’s desk in the early afternoon—more precisely, when he decides to take the long way to the break room—he finds Vincent speaking with Angelie, one of the new hires, their heads ducked together over the harsh glow of Angelie’s laptop screen. He watches as Vincent gestures to something on the screen and says something too quiet to make out from this distance, and Angelie nods, jotting something down onto a notepad she’s holding.
How formal, Yves thinks. It isn’t long ago that he was in her shoes, new and intimidated by the formality of the workplace, asking Vincent for help and tabling everything he thought might be of note.
He doesn’t think much of it—only that of course Vincent is busy; Angelie is right to think that Vincent has the kind of expertise that will really be useful to her, and the patience to walk her through it with a level of thoroughness Yves is frequently impressed by, or else she’s just gotten very lucky.
The afternoon passes quickly enough. All of a sudden, it’s 5, which is around the time when Yves usually leaves, and he still hasn’t spoken a word to Vincent all day.
Against better judgment, he takes his briefcase with him, heads toward the sector of the building that Vincent works in. Tells himself it’s just on the way to the back door exit. Tells himself a short exchange wouldn’t hurt—would it really be so wrong to invite Vincent out to dinner, or at the very least, to offer him the thank you he so unquestionably deserves?
He half expects Vincent to be gone already, considering that he’s probably been here since 7:30. But when he gets there, Vincent is at his desk, as usual, cross-checking several documents he’s printed out.
“Hard at work, as always,” Yves says, stopping just short of his cubicle.
“Yves,” Vincent says, though he doesn’t offer any further note of acknowledgment. He looks tired, Yves realizes, from the slight tension to his posture, the way he blinks hard behind his glasses, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. But of course he’s tired—he’s been here for almost ten hours already.
Yves waits for him to finish what he’s doing—to look away from the monitor screen, even just for a moment—but he doesn’t.
“Are you planning to stay much later?” Yves asks, at last, though he gets the feeling that he should leave.
“Most likely,” Vincent says. “Is there something you need me to look over?”
“No,” Yves says. “But I was wondering—”
“I’m very busy today,” Vincent cuts him off, paging through one of the documents that’s laid out over his desk. “So if it’s not work related, now’s not a good time.”
It’s then that Yves realizes—Vincent must think he’s about to drag him into another one of his fake-relationship arrangements.
“I don’t need anything from you,” Yves says, faltering. “I’m just—it’s getting late, and you’ve been here all day.”
“Yes,” Vincent says. “Like I said, I’m very busy.” He pauses to highlight a line of numbers, scribble something into the margins. How he can concentrate on his work and the conversation simultaneously, Yves doesn’t know. “If you have work for me, feel free to leave it on my desk, I’ll get to it tonight. Otherwise, I’d appreciate it if we had this conversation later.”
“Noted,” Yves says. He tables the dinner conversation for later, sets his briefcase down on the floor so that it leans up against the wall. “Let me help.”
Vincent frowns, his eyebrows furrowing. “It would take longer for me to explain this to you.”
“You don’t need to explain anything,” Yves says. “I can look over the documents myself.” He takes a step closer, peers down at the papers strewn across Vincent’s desk—earnings reports and expense reports, mostly, and a couple marketing proposals.
Vincent reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “That would require you to know the context.”
“I’ve dealt with a hundred of these in my life. I promise you I know what I’m doing.”
“Then you’ll have to spend more time telling me your findings,” Vincent says. “Better to not split up the work at all.”
“It would still be faster than going through them yourself.”
“Hardly.”
Perhaps Vincent doesn’t trust Yves to get things done to the standard that he expects, then. Yves thinks he’s worked here long enough to consider himself decently qualified, but they haven’t worked together closely on anything since Yves’s first couple months at Evertech, and so he doesn’t fault Vincent for being wary.
Still, Yves thinks he can be useful here. And maybe there is something selfish to it, too—to wanting to be as useful to Vincent as Vincent had been to him, to wanting to prove that he is capable of helping in the first place, of offering something of value—but even aside from that, he’s worried that if he doesn’t step in, Vincent might be here all night. It doesn’t seem like much of an impossibility, considering who he’s talking to.
“You’ve been here for hours,” Yves tries. “It’s only our first day back.” He looks around—perhaps there’s someone else here that could help, someone who’s worked here longer than Yves, who Vincent trusts. “You don’t have to let me help. But at least hand some of it off to someone you actually trust, or tell Charlene that she’s given you too much work this week, or both.”
“It’s no more work than usual,” Vincent says, with a sigh.
“And yet, you’re planning on staying late.”
Vincent looks up at him, at last, his expression unreadable. “I’m capable of doing my own job, Yves.” His voice is curt, almost snappish. “I really don’t have time to argue with you right now.”
Yves wants to say, of course I know that. Vincent is nothing if not qualified—Yves has never doubted that for a moment. He wants to say, I want to help you regardless.
But that would only be presumptuous. He doesn’t know Vincent that well. Besides, it’s really none of his business—they’re coworkers, not friends. Vincent knows what’s best for himself. The best thing Yves can do right now is to stay out of his way.
“Okay,” Yves says, a little defeated. “Good luck on your work. Make sure you get some sleep.”
There’s no response to that—no acknowledgement that Vincent has heard him at all, even though it’s quiet enough in the room that he must have. Yves turns to get his briefcase. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Vincent jerk forward suddenly, his shoulders tensing with a near-silent—
“HhH’Gkt-!”
Yves bites back a reflexive bless you. It’s just one sneeze. It doesn’t have to mean anything. But Vincent sniffles, pressing his knuckles up to the underside of his nose, to stifle another—
“HhH’NgkT-!”His breath hitches again, his eyebrows drawing together as he jerks forward again, with a quiet but painfully forceful, “Hh… hEH’NGXt!”, crushed into his fist.
He sniffles again, reaching across the desk to snag a tissue from the tissue box that, Yves realizes with a jolt, is usually not present on his desk. He sighs quietly—the sort of tired, drawn out exhale that leaves no question about how tired he is—and reaches up with a hand to gingerly massage his temples. The slight grimace that follows is almost certainly indicative of a headache.
Yves considers asking Vincent how he’s feeling for all of two seconds before he remembers the almost-hostility with which he was just faced. Perhaps it would be better if he pretends to not have heard. Briefcase in hand, he quickens his pace, ducks out of the exit, and heads down the stairs.
Vincent spent his New Year’s Eve with him, at a party surrounded by strangers—even though Vincent dislikes parties and probably dislikes strangers—he’d put up an immaculate act, played along even through Yves’s slight intoxication, and driven him home—and in turn, Yves has repaid him by...
God. Yves shouldn’t have asked to kiss him. The guilt settles heavy in his stomach.
Yves really, really owes him.
He heads down several flights of stairs and ducks outside to the parking garage. It’s even colder today than it had been on New Year’s—perhaps indicative of a colder winter to come—and though the parking garage is sealed off, when he’d looked out from the office windows upstairs, it had been starting to snow.
The cafeteria at their workplace is closed for dinner, and it’s a half hour drive home from here through rush hour traffic—maybe a little longer in the snow, and longer still if he stops to get something to eat.
He’s in the process of unlocking the car, setting his briefcase at his feet, and inserting the keys into the ignition when the idea occurs to him.
It’s an irrational idea, probably.
[Part 5]
#snz fic#sneeze fic#sneeze kink#snz kink#snz#part of the reason why this took so long was because i got caught up in the whirlwind of final exams/projects#(which are over now! possibly forever?)#but another part of it is that i hated my initial draft for this so much that i just shut the document and haven't opened it since#finally got around to rewriting it yesterday + stayed up til 5:30 hammering it into shape#i am posting this so that i cannot edit it anymore and have to move on#my fic#thank you to everyone who left kind comments on pt 3 🥹 reading them brings me so much happiness#yvverse
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@question-marked asked: “are you making fresh pasta?”
barton managed to barely hear eddie over the sound of two of his kids arguing in the background — who seemed to be jack and matilda, respectively, as he would soon call out to them using their names in his native tongue. but the fact remained that he had heard him and so after he essentially told them to ' get along ' in french, barton turned to face the other. he was currently kneading what looked to be some kind of dough with his hands, ❝ sorry, they've been unusually argumentative today with each other. you're going to have to excuse them. but yeah... lucky for you, you caught me right in the middle of making dinner. ❞
barton seemed to have some experience as he hadn't gotten any of the dough on his hands and it seemed to be quite close to having the right texture (not too dry, and not too wet). and truthfully, he did as the recipe he'd gotten for chicken alfredo from winslow? it called for homemade noodles so he figured he might as well try his hand at it. though barton still wasn't good at certain aspects of it, like actually rolling the dough through the pasta maker. a purposely overdramatic sigh left his lips then, ❝ ahh, but i'm really no good at rolling the dough through the pasta maker myself. if only there were someone here who could do it for me. ❞ he discretely looked over to edward afterward as if to say ' i'm totally not talking about you here, but also, i am. ' barton really didn't like to look like he wasn't an expert at things in the kitchen after all when he'd been cooking so long.
but this was only his second time making this, so he supposed it was more than reasonable for him to still struggle with it. barton stopped kneading the dough and looked at edward through squinted eyes as if analyzing him, ❝ i'm still a bit confused as to why you would come here when you're not injured. would you mind telling me again why you're here, considering i don't think you like me enough to be here simply for a social call? oh, and while you're doing that, could you also get me that dough cutter over there? thanks, ❞ a small unreadable smile ghosted across his features while he gestured towards the blade a little ways away from him. edward had honestly given him no reason to hate him, so as it stood, he felt rather ambivalent towards him. ❝ say, you aren't a vegetarian... right? because i'm making chicken alfredo. and enough to feed a small army, probably, so you can definitely have some. ❞
#question-marked#AHH thank you so much for the ask chrome!! i didn't want to make this too long so i made it as brief as possible BUT i am so excited to-#interact with you TBH (: i know that i still have another one-liner from you sitting in my inbox as well so i definitely will be getting to#that as well soon btw! i'm sorry about the wait i just find that i have to be in a certain mindset for whatever reason when i want to write#barton so that's why i haven't replied to it yet BUT i hope you like this response! and i honestly couldn't picture barton having a reason-#to dislike him right from the get-go which is always a good thing ofc though as you may know barton is the KING of judgers so i took this-#in a ' barton feels rather ambivalent towards eddie bc he doesn't really know enough about him / probably hasn't interacted with him much#to form a solid opinion of him ' approach. however i would say that barton is kinddd of leaning more towards being nice to him-#in this reply?? so we love that though i thought it would be good if i threw a little bit of humor in here to break up any potential#tension and idk why but barton being dramatic always make me laugh so yeahhh LOL man's is just chilling with eddie here y'know
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#the shelter i worked at was the Evil Kill Shelter and the Nice No Kill Shelter one town over #would surrender cats they knew were dying so it wouldnt affect their statistics#because they couldnt euthanize sick cats without having to report being a kill shelter#so we did their dirty work and had to deal with the trauma of letting them pass in a location they didn't recognize#all while the Nice Shelter talked about how horrible it was that we euthanized cats#meanwhile they refused to accept old cats or disabled cats and then cats' owners would drop them off with us sobbing#cuz they were under the impression theyd be instantly put down because we werent the Nice Shelter
I hope you don't mind me adding these tags to the post, my jaw is on the floor from how supremely fucked this situation was/is
I think this is super important to remember.
#this info also would have spared my household several weeks of misery destruction and actual bodily harm last year#the main reason that shitty situation lasted so long was bc we were convinced we'd have blood on our hands if we just. went to barc.#which is what we should have done to begin with.#instead of weeks of struggle to rehome the most ill-behaved pitmix disaster you ever met while dealing w/Dog Racism from the Nice Shelters#and even the Nice Shelters TM *that took pits* had one excuse or another why they couldn't take it off our hands#anyway this is a not-insignificant part of why I'm a Keep Dogs The Fuck Away From Me person and not a Neutral About Dogs person anymore.
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hoooly fuck man
#im so fucking done with this week#ive yet to cry at work but today fucking broke me#and its not even lunch#long story short the kittens from the most recent colony are much sicker than we initially thought#and ive had three die in the last three days#and it is entirely my owj fault. i have been their sole caretaker and i fucking failed them#the first two were newborns tbat died from tangling in their umbilical cords#and i just didnt check on them because mama was growling and hissg#but i should have anyway bc shes not a bite risk. shes just a stressed first time mom#which is even more reason why i shoulf have checked on her#and then a baby i thought was entirely healthy was dead this morning#and another is ill and another is actively dying in the incubator now#i havent sobbed like this in months. it took me three hours to clean one room. there were 5 kennels#that should take me 10 minutes each kennel Max. even with medicating and weight checks#im so fucking tired#i jjust kept stopping to cry#i forgot my meds this morning which is the worst timing in the world#and i have a meet and greet at 2#fuck my fucking life#shelter posting
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“epiphany” | 21k
worst!logan howlett x f!reader
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/06b5e79f18ae09765211f30e1e06fa6f/e2847d0ee9300c0d-70/s540x810/976239f0e44f7df44b6a72de1de6947af92c903e.jpg)
SUMMARY: Superheroes and mutants weren’t enough. No—the universe had to throw in soulmates who share scars. Fantastic, right? Except yours had vanished, only to mysteriously reappear with the arrival of a new face: the “Worst” Logan Howlett, fresh from another earth.
OR What happens when a hopeless romantic crosses paths with the ultimate soulmate skeptic?
WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni smut 18+ strangers to lovers. drinking. cursing. slow burn. angst. pining. mentions of alcohol. fluff. reflecting on the art of writing/poems/books. dual POV. takes place after the events of “deadpool & wolverine”. TW: multiple descriptions of scars. worst/variant!logan. implied age gap (reader’s in her late 20s). they’re both touch starved. wade’s everyone’s friend. miscommunication/misunderstandings. oral sex (f and m receiving). fingering, grinding. some slight hair pulling. unprotected p in v, creampie. sex with feelings.
A/N: HOPELESS ROMANTICS RISE! here we go again with another long ass fic. this is a soulmates AU in which you get your soulmate’s scars. if you feel triggered by this topic, please refrain from reading. i had a lot of fun writing this even though it took me a while to get it done. thanks to @lubdubology for being my beta and allowing me to share my work with you. and also thanks to @brushworth for giving me the chance to write this. having said this, enjoy the story! i’d love to know your thoughts on it <3
Love giveth and love taketh away.
To this day, it’s still hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that love is what humans both strive and die for.
If it weren’t for love, you wouldn’t be here. No one would, actually. Human beings are the result of billions of people who loved each other just enough—or at least long enough to bring life into the world.
But isn’t it in the name of love that people act in bad faith? Why would something so pure be used in vain?
You don’t get it, but as the years go by, you slowly come to terms with the idea that perhaps you never will. Not because there isn’t a reason, but because you’re in love with the idea of love.
How could you not be? It’s on the streets, on the bus, at work. Everywhere you go, every place you attempt to set foot in, there it is. Love is dressed up in an expensive silk robe, a ribbon tied neatly on top of it. You reach closer, trying to unravel it, though it's pointless. The moment love sees you—truly sees your longing for it—it flees, and you struggle to keep up.
Love runs faster than anyone, hiding within the bushes, counting the seconds until its next appearance.
It had always been a relentless race, your only worry being to catch it before time ran out. But with each day that passed, the finish line only stretched further and further away. Now, they all blur together, to the point where you live and breathe on autopilot.
In a Jane Austen novel, you’d be considered a lone woman. That character who’s nice, and kind, and loved by some, but not in the way she yearns for. Every time she’s mentioned, you go “Oh, the poor girl,” until the slow realization dawns.
In reality, she’s you, and it’s you who you feel sorry for, not a fictional character. You.
All in all, love giveth. And love also taketh away.
Love maketh you miserable.
Soulmates—a nine-letter word that holds so much meaning.
It’s one of those words that you learn early in your life, one you hear at home or on the TV. Your parents never fail to mention it if given the chance. The first time you’re introduced to the topic is at school when you're older, a bit more self-conscious, and no longer preoccupied with picking your nose.
“Everybody has a soulmate. And no,” your teacher had added after a pause, already anticipating the inevitable questions from any curious 10-year-old, “there isn’t such a thing as not having one. We all do. You just have to search for them.”
Back then, that had been your favorite game—always keeping an eye open, scanning the crowd more than once in new places. You knew for sure that more than one person probably thought you’d strained your neck from all the times you glanced over your shoulder.
It must be pretty obvious now, the fact that you’re—well, alone. Saying ‘without a companion’ sounds quite outdated. They can’t see through you, but something in the way you walk or speak must give it away.
Or is it the fact that you always ask for a table for one?
“Are you expecting someone else?” A waitress approaches you, her tone gentle as she makes sure you’re on your own. A small notebook dangles from her slender fingers, and your eyes catch the name stitched onto her apron: Emily.
The response you give her is on the verge of sounding automatic, robotic even, like one of those prerecorded messages busy people leave on their phones. “No. Just me.”
She nods, and you feel the sympathy in her gaze. You’ve mastered the art of recognizing that look—the one hovering between concern and pity.
Of course, people rarely voice it, but they’ll never know their eyes sometimes say more than they think.
As she jots down your order, you’re met with the ring on her left hand. Very pretty, very shiny. Very expensive as well. Your attention must linger on it a little too long, because she catches you staring, making you feel exposed.
Emily—you decide to call her that way from now on, because once you know her name, it feels odd to address her as the waitress—offers you a shy smile.
“I’m getting married next month,” she blurts out, happiness radiating from her pores. Her eyes glint like two lanterns in a starless night. She also looks younger than you, and the abrupt silence forces you to pinch your wrist, a reminder of the fact that this is a conversation, and not just something you're overhearing.
“Congratulations,” you manage to reply, returning the smile. If she saw how your expression faltered the second she walked away, you wonder if she’d still think you were so amiable.
Sometimes, your façade slips—you can’t help it. That’s what the ‘hopeless’ in ‘hopeless romantic’ stands for.
Some minutes later, she comes back with your coffee, and you catch another glimpse of the ring as it twinkles in front of you. Envy doesn’t suit you, so you shift your focus.
Taking out your laptop, you scroll through the latest headlines. This is your attempt at acting more like an adult and less like a girl in her mid-twenties who has no clue what she’s doing.
One article stands out from the rest: Hollywood Actress Divorces Loving Husband of 25 Years to Pursue Presumed Soulmate. “I saw his scars and knew he was the one.”
Interesting. You can’t help but feel sorry for the displaced husband, though.
“Good for you,” you mutter under your breath, clicking the link to read more. There’s a picture of the actress and her new boyfriend that makes you stop dead in your tracks: they’re smiling at each other, their faces close, noses almost touching, while they show off their matching scars—the unmistakable sign that they’re, in fact, soulmates.
Soulmates, superheroes, mutants. It all sounds like a whole lot, doesn’t it? Overwhelming, to say the least. One thing’s for sure—you’ll never get bored in this world.
But, hey! Don’t forget that there are multiple universes out there. Maybe in one of them, you’re not this pathetic.
Why are you being so hard on yourself? That’s not even the point. Shaking your head, you keep glancing at their scars—they’re identical, perfect mirrors of one another. The kind of scars that only two destined souls share.
Their happiness is evident, tangible. You can feel it by just eyeing the image. It’s a bitter sensation that metamorphoses into a warmth, which heavily spreads through your chest, filling up every empty space it finds.
To say you understand that feeling would be a downright lie. And you may be many things, but a pathological liar is not one of them.
As if on cue, you duck your head, rolling up the sleeves of your jacket. You do the same with your shirt, foolishly hoping to find something other than smooth, unmarked skin.
No scars. No marks. No sign of a soulmate, of a lover. In the world you inhabit—this universe full of the most inexplicable things—you’re alone.
Without a second thought, you pack your things, shoving them rapidly into your bag. The cafe feels too little and too large all at once, the walls closing on you.
The rest of the customers are looking at you. Fuck, they already noticed it—you can’t escape it.
Have they? Do you think they see you like you see yourself? The lone woman who writes poems for an addressee who will never read them?
In silence, you hand Emily the money for your coffee. You fear that if you open your mouth, a cry will come out, and that’s the last thing you need today. She gives you that look again—pity laced with sorrow, the one you despise. It burns.
At that moment, a man walks in, passing right by you. You see his face, his green eyes, and the way his lips curl into a grin as he greets Emily.
The scar on her forehead, which you'd missed before, mirrors the one on his.
They are soulmates.
It’s on the streets, on the bus, at work. Everywhere you go, every place you attempt to set foot in, there it is.
She wishes you a nice morning as you leave the cafe. Little does she know you’ll spend the rest of the day locked in your apartment, mourning someone you never even met.
Until the day you lost them, you wore your scars with pride.
They were scattered across your stomach, back, chest, and even your legs and arms. Some were shallow, others deep. It never occurred to you—the thought that they belonged in the shadows, hidden.
Everyone has them, you thought as you stood in front of the mirror, running your fingers along their jagged paths. I just seem to have more than most people.
Over the years, you might have changed your hairstyle or the way you dressed, but your scars never did—they’d always been there, and they were yours.
Partly yours, of course, since you knew they belonged to your soulmate as well.
The older you grew, the more you realized having a good memory was both a gift and a curse. You still remembered that moment so vividly—when you found out that somebody out there was meant for you and only you.
A point of no return, that’s what it’d been. From that day on, not a single one went by without you imagining the first encounter with your Prince Charming.
In the meantime, you dated. A few boyfriends came and went during and after high school, mostly as practice for the real thing, you’d told yourself.
God, you were determined to know everything. To be the best girlfriend ever, so that when you finally met him, he’d be over the moon.
At the age of seventeen, it sounded like a brilliant plan.
You never knew how, but your life became that meantime. All your friends began to find their soulmates: in the supermarket, while traveling, at the goddamn doctor’s office.
Everybody was fulfilling the purpose you’d been taught humans were made for—everyone but you.
The scars multiplied, yet he was nowhere to be seen, remaining out of reach. Your soulmate’s whereabouts were a mystery. What the hell does he do in his free time? was something you used to often ponder. Is he suffering? Does he need help?
“Be patient, give it some time. The less you seek, the more you’ll find,” your mother would say, trying to sound encouraging. Although she was trying to do her best, that phrase alone had the power to make you go nuts.
Be patient? Waiting was all you’d been doing. What was so wrong with you that he seemed to be hiding from you? You didn’t want to wait any longer, no—you wanted to find him. If it meant traveling to Italy like your cousin had to meet her husband, then so fucking be it.
Many nights, sleep eluded you. Lying wide awake, staring at the ceiling, you’d imagine what life with him would be like. What he would look like. You were certain that no matter his appearance, you’d think he was beautiful.
Wasn’t that the whole point of soulmates—that the bond you two shared transcended physical attraction?
Nevertheless, you secretly wished he’d have brown hair. He didn’t need to know, but you had a weakness for brunettes.
On the night of your twenty-second birthday, you were getting ready for the big event when every trace of your scars disappeared.
The bathroom mirror was fogged from the shower’s stream, and as you wiped it clean with the palm of your hand, the image you saw reflected on the glass made your stomach do a flip.
There were no scars. No marks. Nothing. At first, you thought your eyes were playing tricks on you—it couldn’t be. Scars didn’t just vanish. It was impossible.
But as you lowered your gaze, tracing your limbs again and again, the truth hit you. The marks you knew by heart, the ones that reminded you, He’s out there, somewhere, were gone.
You felt it deep in your chest, too. Every sound seemed louder and clearer: the blood rushing through your veins, each shaky breath you took. Where are they? Your fingers dug into your flesh, intending to ground yourself.
Is he… dead? It was the only reasonable explanation, the rule you’d known all along. You’d read it countless times, memorizing the principles about scars.
The scream that tore from your throat brought your mother running upstairs, and she entered the bathroom with a horrified expression on her face.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” she asked, but your mind was already far away. Your whole body shuddered in her arms, a sob slipping past your lips as you crumbled to the floor, desperately hoping it was all a nightmare. “It must be a mistake, honey. I’m sure he’s okay.”
But he’s not, you wanted to tell her. The words, however, never formed—only a broken whimper escaped your lips. Isn’t that what we were taught? Our scars belong to our soulmates; they bind us to them in a way that simple words can’t explain.
It goes deeper than the skin. It delves into our bodies, our minds, reaching into the very essence of who we are. What was once his is also mine, but they’re gone.
He’s gone. He must be, because otherwise, how would you explain this void?
When one’s soulmate passes away, that person will notice the disappearance of their scars. The physical marks that once symbolized their connection fade, leaving no trace. This absence is accompanied by a distinct, unsettling sensation—an awareness of loss that goes beyond the physical, signaling the end of the bond.
A part of you died with him that day.
The first time you exchanged words with Wade Wilson, you thought he was a total dick.
It wasn’t as if you didn’t know him—not when he was so infamous for that mouth of his. Deadpool: the self-proclaimed superhero with a vocabulary that was 90% profanity, who made cracking jokes while fighting the bad guys look easy.
Super funny? Sure. But not exactly your cup of tea when all you wanted was to crawl into bed and forget the world existed.
He was apparently long retired from superheroing. No one had seen that red, sex-toy-looking suit in ages, which was why you were only mildly surprised as you spotted him hauling boxes into your building on a Tuesday afternoon.
It was late, and you weren’t in the mood for small talk. He’d been there barely a week, yet somehow, he’d already managed to fuck things up.
You let out a deep sigh, rubbing the crease between your brows. “Look, Wally—”
“It’s pronounced Wade,” he corrected you, trying to edge his face further into the gap between the door and its frame, though you didn’t let your guard down. “You’re pretty rude, you know that?”
“I’ve been up for twenty-four hours, and I need to sleep,” you groaned, trying to push him away with one hand. Technically, he wasn’t even asking for something that complicated—he wanted to use your microwave to heat his dinner, since his had decided to stop working out of the blue.
The thing was that you’d had the kind of week that felt like a one-way trip to hell, an important detail he wasn’t aware of. “Go ask someone else. I can’t do charity tonight.”
“You’re the only one who answered,” he said, pressing his palms together in a pleading gesture, his lips curling into a heartbreaking pout. “Please, my lovely neighbor, whose name I don’t know. You wouldn’t want me to starve to death, would you?
“I thought you couldn’t die.” You raised an eyebrow, half-interested.
Wade’s arms dropped to his sides, his eyes drifting downward. “And I thought kindness wasn’t extinct, but here we are.” He spun on his heel, acting defeated and dragging his feet like a scolded puppy. “Can’t believe this is what the world’s come to. I’m sure the Bible says something about treating others how you’d want to be treated.”
Why. Just… why? Some cosmic, divine force from beyond might have been testing you that night.
“Wait,” you croaked just as he was about to step into his apartment—which was literally three meters from yours. His face lit up, expecting you to continue, and you moved aside slightly, signaling him in. “Five minutes and you’re out, okay? I really need to get some rest.”
The rest was history. Wade was just standing there, mesmerized by your microwave as if he’d never seen one before.
You could only hear the faint buzzing sound of the gadget, punctuated by the rhythmic drumming of his fingers on the counter. He was humming a tune while shaking his head to the beat.
You tried to focus, replaying the guided meditation you sometimes followed to sleep in your mind.
Allow yourself to feel the stillness of this moment. Notice your breath slowing as your body begins to calm. Be the observer of your breath, flowing in and out naturally, as your lungs—
Yeah, it wasn’t working.
“Please, stop it,” you eventually told Wade, whose gaze shifted from the microwave to you, brows furrowed.
“And why’s that?”
“They say it’s bad for your eyes,” you explained, recalling a half-forgotten news report you’d heard on the TV. Whether it was a myth or not, you’d never know. “I believe it’s because of the radiation exposure.”
Leaning back on the counter, he crossed his arms over his chest. “At this point, I think I’m safe. You, on the other hand… maybe not so much,” he nearly whispered that last part, and your desire to strangle him grew stronger.
Save me, mindfulness, you thought to yourself.
He jerked his thumb toward the pile of papers and books you had on your kitchen table. “So, you’re a writer?”
“Editor, in reality,” you snapped, your eyelids twitching as you watched him leaf through your stuff. “Wade, don’t touch my things.”
“Sorry, can’t help myself. I’m very curious.” Flashing you a quick grin, he opened your notebook, squinting his eyes as he went through the pages. “But you write too, huh? I’m discovering plenty of material here.”
The bastard. “Give. It. Back,” you snarled, lunging at him and trying to snatch the notebook from his hands, but he was faster, raising it out of reach. “I hope your food explodes in that microwave, asshole.”
“Oh, right. I forgot about it,” he snorted, tossing the notebook onto the couch and retrieving his dinner instead. You stared at him in disbelief, opening your mouth to scold him, but nothing came out. Then, there he was, standing in front of you with his plate and a fork.
Wait. Was that your fork?
“It’s hot, I’ll give you that.” He blew on his food to cool it down, and as he glanced up, he was met with your murderous glare. “Whoa. Want some? You could’ve just asked me. No need to get so angry.”
Calling it a desire to kill him would’ve been an understatement. And the worst part? He couldn’t die. “You’ve got what you needed. Now, can you leave?”
“How long’s it been since you talked to another human being?”
You blinked, feeling the sudden urge to look around, half expecting a hidden camera. “Why do you always answer with another question?”
“All I’m saying is I’ve been meaning to talk to you for days now, but you’re practically living the hermit life,” he said between bites of chicken, excusing himself briefly to chew. “That robe you’re wearing? It’s had the same stain on it since I moved in. Also, your doormat’s buried under a mountain of newspapers, so either you really love trees, or you’ve been avoiding any sort of social interaction.”
If he had been wrong, you would’ve felt much better. But he… wasn’t, and it sucked.
“I feel like I should be scared,” you mumbled after a long stretch of silence, your eyes going round.
Wade did no more than laugh at your troubled expression. “Scared of me? That’s cute. I’m a nice guy, sweet pea. Persistent, sure, but I’ve got a knack for getting under people’s skin,” he said, grinning through a mouthful of food—which, for the sake of your sanity, you chose to ignore.
After he had finished eating, he let the fork fall into the sink, the metal striking against the surface with a piercing echo, making you jump. He stretched his arms with a satisfied yawn, and he seemed determined to leave you alone. “Well, I’ve done my good deed for the day.”
“What do you mean?” you asked, following his movements as he ambled toward the door. “Are you telling me your microwave does work?”
“Oh, you’re a smart one, aren’t you?” Wade patted your head, ruffling your hair like you were a puppy who had just learned a new trick. “Good night, peanut.”
From that moment on, the two of you became inseparable. Your personalities clicked in a way you’d never experienced before with any other friend. Wade was loyal to a fault, and he treated you like the little sister he had never had.
Most importantly, he didn’t pity you—he saw you for who you were, not just someone marked by a lost soulmate. You never told him how much that meant to you, but deep down, you were grateful.
Which brings you to the present day. You’ve been friends with him for over a year, and he’s taken every chance to introduce you to his “weird but lovable” (his words, not yours) group of friends.
“Check your social anxiety at the door, thank you,” he’d tell you every time he hosted a get-together and you were invited.
Somehow, you had managed to bond with them—especially Althea, his elderly roommate, who occasionally forgets who you are despite living next door.
“Remind me of your name again, sweetie? All this disco dust must be affecting my memory,” she’d ask, leaning in close so you’d practically have to shout it into her ear. Then she’d nod, smirking knowingly. “Ah, yes. I thought so. Just making sure.”
She’s quite the character. A real sweetheart if you leave aside the number of times she’s offered you more types of drugs than you knew existed.
Tonight, you’re throwing Wade a surprise birthday party. Among all the party tasks, you’ve handled the decorations and the cake. The room’s a riot of color, with balloons floating lazily from the ceiling and a cascade of streamers draping over the furniture.
Guests start arriving, greeting you warmly, a feeling you once thought impossible. They’re Wade’s friends, sure, but on some level, you like to think they’re your friends now too: Vanessa, Dopinder, Buck, Shatterstar, Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and Yukio.
As you hear footsteps approaching the door, Wade’s voice filters through the hallway. Panicking, you whirl around to the group. “He’s here! Everyone shut up!” you whisper urgently, turning off the lights and pressing your back flat against the wall next to the door.
Seconds later, the sound of keys jingling fills the air as both Wade and Peter step into the apartment.
You flip the lights back on just as Dopinder pops his much-anticipated party popper. “Surprise!” you all scream in unison, and Wade’s face splits into a grin, unsure of whom to hug first.
“You guys are lucky I’m not armed,” he quips, slinging an arm around Dopinder’s shoulders. “Six years ago, you’d all be dead!”
And you giggle, because… well, what else are you supposed to do?
As you expected, the night unfolds smoothly. You’re having fun, engaging in conversations despite yesterday’s emotional meltdown at the cafe. It’ll be okay—it always is. The food is amazing, the company even better. You remind yourself that romantic love isn’t the only kind that matters—that’s what friends are for, after all, to teach you that lesson.
The low hum of chatter fills the air, punctuated by bursts of laughter and the clinking of glasses, creating a lively symphony that wraps around you like a warm blanket. Yukio calls your name, waving her head in front of your eyes, trying to snap you out of your thoughts. “Everything okay?” she wonders, concern flickering in her voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you reply, tightening your grip on your beer bottle. “Just thinking, that’s all.”
You all gather around the cake when Wade’s about to blow the candles. You know he’s preparing himself for a speech. “Another year of spinning around the moon, huh?”
“Sun, you dumbass,” Al corrects him, and you have to bite your lip to keep your laughter to yourself.
“Okay, flat-earther,” Wade shoots back, giving her a playful side-eye. “Anyway, where was I? Oh, right—I can’t thank you all enough for being here. These past few years have been... well, rough on me, to say the least,” he says, glancing down at the cake with a small, crooked smile. “But I’m happy now. We’ve got each other’s back, like a team!”
“Like The Avengers, you mean?” Dopinder pipes up, eyes sparkling with excitement. There’s a moment of silence in which you swear you’d be able to hear a hairpin drop.
It’s still a sensitive topic.
“Next time, give me a trigger warning before you mention them,” Wade mutters in a hushed tone, and Dopinder shrinks sheepishly. “I guess what I wanted to tell you was…” he trails off, his palm covering the place where his heart is, “that I'm glad you’re all here. Being surrounded by the people I love most is the best birthday gift ever.”
His words stir something inside you. Vanessa gently nudges his arm, smiling up at him. “Why don’t you make your wish?”
Wade dramatically drops to his knees in front of the cake, eyes fluttering shut before blowing out the candles, whistles and cheers erupting all around.
Just then, you hear the unmistakable sound of the doorbell ringing through the air. You exchange a curious glance with Wade, raising your eyebrows. “That’s weird. Want me to get it?”
“Nah, I got it,” he says, excusing himself to answer the door. He slips outside, shutting it behind him, and everything returns to normal. For a while, you assume he’s chatting with someone who dropped by to say hi—but that doesn’t really make sense.
“Don’t you think it’s weird that he’s been out there so long?” Vanessa inquires, her worry starting to creep in.
“I’ll go check on him,” you tell her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze before heading to the door.
But when you open it, there’s no Wade in sight. Just… his toupee—or “hair system” as he insists on calling it, lying on the floor.
Kneeling down, you gingerly pick it up, a strange sensation settling in your chest.
Where the hell did he go?
After his existence went downhill, Logan turned to prayer.
Completely out of character, right? He thought so too. The number of times he'd stepped foot inside a church could be counted on one hand, so why would a man like him resort to religion?
In the past, he had been told he was part of God’s plan, but somewhere along the way, he felt like he had become God’s mistake.
After living a life plagued with loss and constantly in hiding, he wasn’t shocked that his self-worth was in the gutter.
Things only spiraled after letting everyone down, especially after that particular day when things took a turn for the worse. He had prayed, asking God to make him forget.
When that didn’t work, he just drank harder and smoked more. But not even drowning in alcohol and clouds of nicotine could put an end to his struggles—he was condemned to suffer.
In spite of everyone’s wishes, he’s still going strong, stuck with no defined purpose. It’s almost impossible not to fall into a routine that seeks to numb him, to put him under anesthesia—waking up after passing out who-knows-where, finding the nearest bar, sinking into whiskey and the haze of ashtrays.
Then he does it all over again, a never-ending cycle. His self-destructive habits don’t lead him to oblivion; instead, they intensify every sensation, making each memory and emotion painfully vivid.
Day after day, he convinces himself he’s got it under control. Logan may be tough as fuck, and he may heal faster than anyone else, but his pride is in pieces.
No amount of strength or supernatural abilities can stop the decay he feels inside, the slow rot creeping deeper within him the longer he remains trapped in this life.
He slams the empty glass onto the counter with a heavy thud, tapping two fingers against it. “Again,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough.
The bartender looks at him like he's the reincarnation of all things vile. “I told you—you’re not welcome here. You’re not welcome anywhere. Now get the fuck out of my bar.”
Oh, yes. Music to his ears. If he had a nickel for every time he heard that, he’d be rich. “Just give me one more drink and then I’ll leave.”
“That’s not how it works,” the bartender replies, and Logan knows he’s screwed. Another public establishment he’s been banned from—fucking perfect.
Will there ever be a day where he’s not treated like garbage?
“It does now,” an unknown voice joins the conversation, and Logan glances to his side, arching a brow. The masked man doesn’t let his stare falter. “Leave the bottle.”
“Do I know you, bub?”
“You don’t, but I know you.”
This serves as evidence of how pliant he’s become. Years ago, he would’ve already wiped the floor with this guy. They didn’t call him Logan “short fuse” Howlett for nothing. But now? He just can’t bring himself to do it.
“Everybody does. I’m the—”
Here it comes, the reminder of his personal calvary.
“—Wolverine.” Once he finishes the sentence, his words taste bitter. Perhaps it’s the venom on his tongue, or maybe it’s just the alcohol from yesterday kicking him again. Either way, both hit hard.
“Yes, you are,” the stranger says, continuing to stare at him, as if Logan’s worth the effort. “And I’m going to need you to come with me. Right now.”
Logan holds his breath. The worst part of it all is that his day’s just getting started. He has no clue who this guy is or why he’s claiming to need him.
But he’s got the wrong man—Logan doesn’t know him, and he sure as hell doesn’t have anything good to offer.
Or so he believed five minutes ago. Life seems to have its own way of surprising him.
Knowing he’ll regret it later, he closes his fingers around the whiskey bottle, chugging the liquor until darkness takes over his senses.
Nighty-night, Logan.
I'm aware that you're not mine, and nor will you ever be.
I’ve spent sleepless nights trying to figure out
where this need to call you mine stems from.
You're like an antique, a rare piece displayed
in a crowded bazaar, drawing curious glances.
I’m aware that you're not mine
because I haven't bought you yet;
I hold no claim over you,
nor can I control who touches you and who doesn't.
I want you to be mine,
but no amount of money would buy your soul.
You're beyond reach—someone has already marked you.
I’m aware that you’re not mine,
and I guess maybe that’s how life is meant to be.
“Bullshit,” you mutter softly into the quiet of your apartment, where the only sound is the echo of your own voice.
Chewing the end of your pen, your eyes narrow as they skim over the poem you’d written over a month ago.
Since then, you’ve been working on refining the details, but something is missing—that you can feel. The flow is awkward, the choice of words stiff. It’s like a puzzle that doesn’t quite fit together.
You take a long sip from your coffee, tucking both knees up onto the chair you're sitting in. 7:30 a.m., and already, your mind is spinning, diving headfirst into a poem when countless other things are demanding your attention—like, a hundred things, really.
Right now, cracking this piece feels more important than any other task on your list.
Who do you write to? That part is easy—your soulmate. That deceased, probably buried, long-gone soulmate of yours.
It shouldn’t be funny, but there’s an absurdity to it.
Without warning, a memory slips into your thoughts—one girl you used to work with once advising you to change the subject of your writing.
“You should go for some self-love crap. People usually eat that up,” she said, not even bothering to look up from her nails, red polish smeared over the edges.
Her fingers were a mess, coated in that fiery hue, but she didn’t seem to care as she tapped your notebook with her lacquered index finger. “This is repetitive. Keep writing about the same thing, and people will get bored of you.”
“I haven’t published them yet,” you answered, your voice coming out more high-pitched than usual, betraying the doubt you intended to suppress. Her blue eyes flicked up, studying your face as you slid the now red-stained notebook back into your bag, away from her careless, messy fingers. “I thought… I thought we were supposed to write about what we feel passionate about.”
That managed to catch her attention. Passionate. She let out a laugh—sharp and cold, like something straight out of a villain’s script in a children’s movie. It grated against your ears.
“Sweetie, you call that passionate?” She waved her hand dismissively, standing up from the table.
Taller, older, and more secure—just the fact that she gave you her time should’ve made you feel grateful. “Not to be a bitch, but what you showed me is kind of depressing.”
Kind of depressing. From that moment on, you kind of hated her. Small victories, though—the agency fired her a year later. You like to think you kind of won that battle.
Still, she might’ve been right about one thing: your writing does fall into patterns. It’s predictable, to say the least—the rhythm, the themes. Even the metaphors you include can be found in several of your poems.
Are you… lazy? Has someone revealed the way to break out of it? If there is, you figure you're fine without it.
You don’t want to write the kind of articles she’d churn out about the latest trends or the five best positions to get pregnant faster. Nor do you want to pick apart celebrities' lives for a flashy headline.
What you do want is to write about love. Real love. Even if you are not the most qualified person to do it. Even if nobody wants to read the words from someone who has never experienced it in the flesh.
And you’ll get there—how? You’re still figuring that out.
As long as you live and breathe, love will remain in your thoughts, haunting you—especially with your muse being the fleeting dream of a soulmate you never got to meet in the first place.
But it’s time to start your day—the real one. The one where you have to step outside the safety of your four walls and deal with reality.
The to-do list assembles in your mind: groceries, that book you’ve been meaning to pick up, emails you need to answer.
You let your mind take over, guiding you through the motions without a second thought. As you head back to your room, you get rid of the comfortable robe you love so much.
Next, your shirt comes off, tossed carelessly onto the bed. Just as you're about to step out of your pajama pants, you notice them.
The scars.
They’re not the same, not the faded lines etched into your skin that you could see every night behind your eyelids. New marks glow against your flesh, each one a map of something you don’t yet understand, standing out like new brushstrokes on an old canvas.
You can’t help but freeze, your breath faltering for a moment, and you nearly trip over yourself. Kicking your pants to the side, you stare down at your hips, thighs, the hollow of your ribcage.
Tentatively, you press your fingers into the lines, expecting them to fade, to disappear under your touch like some peculiar illusion.
But they don’t. They remain. You can feel the raised edges, the subtle roughness, the heat beneath your touch.
These scars are different from the ones you had before. Under no circumstances are they the faint memories you once carried. No—these are fresh and vibrant. Marks that shouldn’t exist, the stories they’ve witnessed unfamiliar to you.
Within seconds, you’re sobbing, and you blink through the wetness clouding your vision, wiping your tears of disbelief (and maybe hope?) away with the back of your hand.
Nothing changes. They’re still there.
You've never heard of scars returning like this. It goes against everything in the manual on your shelf. Scars vanish when a soulmate dies, but they don’t come back. Not like this. And they certainly don’t change.
Barely able to stand without stumbling, you scramble to your phone. The first person you call is your mom, your fingers shaking as you press the buttons. She screams into the phone, and all you can do is laugh through the tears.
What doesn’t sit right with her is the change in the scars. She mentions something about reaching out to a specialist, insisting that your case is rare—one in a million.
Almost immediately, you think of Wade, knowing he’d want to hear this. God, he’d be ecstatic. Before you even realize it, you’re standing in front of his door, finger hovering over the bell.
That’s when the realization hits you: he’s been gone for nearly three days, off doing whatever it is he does.
Ringing the bell, a smile tugs at your lips. News like these are meant to be shared.
“Althea, it’s me!” you call out, hoping she’ll hear you. You press your forehead against the door, fidgeting with your fingers. “I have something to tell you.”
Logan has had better days. Days that didn’t involve escaping The Void, fighting a hundred Wades, or saving an earth that wasn’t even his to begin with.
You know, normal days—of being sneered at while drinking to forget and, fuck, how many hours has he been sober? It feels like an eternity.
When the adrenaline wears off and the heroism fades, he’s back to being just Logan again. If he had a watch, he’d probably tap the glass and fake impatience to Wade, pretending he’s got somewhere else to be.
He should leave. That’s his first impulse: to escape before it’s too late, but a question arises in his mind: does he truly want to?
Wade watches as Logan rises to his feet, planning to walk away. Pretty stupid, Logan thinks, considering he knows no one else in this universe—apart from the scarred man he’s become friends with against his will.
“Logan!” Wade yells his name, his voice light but firm enough to halt him in his tracks. Logan turns to face him, greeted by Wade’s familiar, infuriating smile.
It's a silent invitation to a new beginning.
Nothing’s holding him back, so why not accept it? The odds of being the target of hateful glares are lower here, and that’s reason enough for Logan to give a small tilt of his head and return to the bench where Wade remains seated.
“We’re gonna be roommates!” the latter exclaims, a wide grin stretching across his face as they head toward the building. “Can you imagine all the fun we’ll have?”
Logan presses his lips into a thin line. “Looking forward to it,” he murmurs, a small glimmer of sarcasm slipping into his tone, although Wade takes his words at face value.
“Me too, roomie. Me too.”
“Let’s not use that word.”
Wade holds the door open for Logan with an exaggerated bow. “Why not? It’s the truth. We can even share my bed if that’s—”
The sound of Logan’s claws succeeds in silencing him. Wade recoils and covers his crotch, no doubt remembering past close calls.
“You know what? You can have the bed. I’ll take the couch. No problem.”
Was moving in with Wade the worst idea he’s had in a while? Absolutely. The reason? Althea, the elderly woman he lives with, isn’t answering the door, and he doesn’t have his keys.
Logan covers his eyes with a hand, silently questioning all of his life choices. And it’s only been ten minutes.
“This doesn’t happen often,” Wade reassures him, rubbing his neck.
“Hard to believe,” Logan mutters, some unknown muscle in his jaw beginning to ache from how hard he’s gritting his teeth. “You just leave the house without your fucking keys?”
Wade huffs, jutting out a hip in mock offense. “Those TVA guys didn’t exactly send a ‘We’re here to ruin your day’ memo. I was ambushed, okay?” he retorts, keeping a finger glued to the doorbell, its shrill ring gnawing at Logan’s already thin patience. “Al, I swear to God, I’m replacing your blood pressure pills with laxatives if you don’t wake up!”
“How old is she?” Logan asks, searching for anything to keep him from snapping the other man’s neck. Peaceful thoughts.
“Compared to you, she’s basically a newborn,” Wade replies, rocking back and forth on his heels. He’s having the time of his life—meanwhile, Logan’s self-control is reaching its limit.
His claws twitch in his knuckles. He’s had enough, and with a jerk of his left hand, they gleam as they slide out, ready to break the damn door.
But then Wade jumps in front of him.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy there, buddy! I’m not letting you turn my door into a strainer.”
“Move,” Logan barks, not an ounce of friendliness in his tone. His stare is flat, unfazed.
“I’d rather not. You can’t just go around breaking people’s doors, man. Not cool,” Wade blurts quickly, placing both hands on Logan’s chest, pushing him away. “How about I ask my neighbor, huh? I gave her a spare set of keys for situations like these.”
“I thought you said this didn’t happen often.”
“Well, life’s full of disappointments.”
Before Logan can answer back, Wade rushes to the door next to his, slamming his fist on it like a madman, his finger hammering the doorbell simultaneously.
The devil’s orchestra—a symphony straight from hell.
Logan grabs Wade’s wrist before he can knock again, hissing: “Have some manners, will you?”
Wade tries to shake his arm free from Logan’s tight grip. “She’s in there. I know it,” he replies in the same tone, but now he uses his other hand to ring the doorbell with greater feeling.
After a pause, he stamps his foot on the floor, throwing his head back. “Come on! Is this how you treat me after being away? Shame on you, Missy!”
This neighbor must be very patient, Logan thinks, to keep up with a guy like Wade without often seeing red.
As the door finally swings open, his grip on Wade loosens, and his hand falls limply to his side.
“What… the fuck?”
The sound of your voice—soft, slightly groggy from sleep—pulls his attention away from the door incident. His gaze is fixed entirely on you—you look as if you’ve just rolled out of bed, which makes sense since it’s still early.
Back in The Void, Wade had rambled on about all his friends, you included. Logan recalls how he had described you: a book editor who lived on her own and loved reading. You were younger—but then again, who wasn’t younger than him?
The picture Wade had shown him, with you standing in the background, hadn’t done you justice. He had found you attractive then, but seeing you in person?
You’re… far more than he expected.
More beautiful, for starters.
Fuck. Why is he even thinking about that? He must’ve been staring at you for quite a while—you glance at him like a startled lamb, clearly feeling self-conscious under his unwavering stare.
“May I know,” you start, tightening your robe, “why you were banging on my door like that? I thought I was getting robbed for a minute.” You direct your question at Wade, avoiding Logan’s presence, which makes something tighten in his chest.
He finds the way you stifle a yawn endearing, though.
Okay, that’s enough, he tells his mind. Let it go.
Wade steps in first, dropping his mask on the nearest surface. “Hello, my dear. Oh, yes, I’m fine. Just a few scratches. No, I wasn’t partying—I was kidnapped. Thanks for asking.”
You draw in a long breath, rubbing your eyes to wake up once and for all, and then you proceed to gesture for Logan to enter. Even now, you find it difficult to maintain eye contact with him. “Do you—would you like to come in?”
Not only are you pretty, but also polite. He nods, muttering a gruff: “Yeah, thank you.”
As he walks past you, your shoulders brush briefly, sending an unexpected jolt through him. A tingling sensation on the verge of being electrifying that has him knitting his brows.
His gaze finds yours, searching your expression to see if you felt it too. But you look away, closing the door to go after Wade.
Great. You must think he’s a weirdo.
“I’m always up for company, but why so early?” you ask your friend, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. “And are you going to tell me what happened the other day? You left without saying anything.”
Wade hops onto a stool at the kitchen counter, swinging his legs like a child. “You know Al. When it comes to sleeping, she’s like a much older version of Sleeping Beauty,” he replies with a grin, snatching the mug you were about to use for your morning coffee. “Thanks, you’re such a doll.”
“That was—mine,” you sigh, hitting him in the thigh, and Wade winces with a fake whine. “I don’t think I’ve missed you that much. Go back to being missing in action,” you say, grabbing another mug and filling it before raising it toward Logan. “Coffee?”
Logan hesitates. You’re treating him like you’ve known him for years, not minutes. “I’m… good.”
“You sure? I made it fresh, just before you guys arrived.”
“Don’t worry, I’m—”
“I love the chemistry here,” Wade interrupts your conversation, drawing your attention back to him, “but you still got the keys I gave you, right?”
You roll your eyes, blowing on your steamy coffee before answering. “I do, but I want answers first. And I want them now.”
Twenty minutes and a rambling, half-coherent story later, your drink has gone cold, and Logan’s patience is wearing thin… again.
Will he survive sleeping under the same roof as Wade? Stay tuned for more.
“And then I told Paradox ‘He has risen, babygirl’—”
“I think you’re being too specific,” Logan interjects, noting how you’re staring into space with wide eyes. “She seems confused.”
“I am,” you admit, rubbing your temples. He doesn’t blame you: Wade’s a terrible storyteller. You offer him a weak smile as you turn to him. “So… you’re from another universe.”
“Last time I checked.” His back collapses against the couch, groaning softly. He sits beside you, and the way your eyes sweep over him, taking in his disheveled and sweaty appearance, doesn’t go unnoticed by him.
“And how is it? I mean, do you have—”
“I’m public enemy number one.”
Too harsh, idiot.
“Oh. That’s… good to know.”
Wade says your name, and you look to your right, lifting your brows. “Do you mind if I grab the keys myself? I need a shower. I’ve been marinating in sweat and blood for way too long.”
You grimace, pointing toward your room. “Top drawer of my nightstand.”
With that, he embarks on a quest to find them, leaving Logan alone with you. Silence stretches between you two.
He doesn’t know what to say, or if he should even say anything. Casual conversation isn’t his forte.
“You and Wade…?”
Letting out a giggle, you lean back on the couch. “God, no. We’re just friends,” you explain, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. For a fleeting moment, your eyes bore into his, and then you return to burning holes in the floor. “I’m single. Haven’t found my soulmate yet.”
It’s his turn to chuckle now—a dark, humorless sound rumbling in his chest. You chew on a cuticle, Logan’s gesture igniting a sense of curiosity in you.
“What?” you ask him, puzzled.
“Do you really believe in that? Soulmates who share scars?” If he were to think carefully, he’d watch his tone. It’s too late, anyway—you straighten your posture, your face contorting with each passing second. “I can tell you do.”
“And I can tell you don’t.”
“Why would I? Those are lies,” he retorts, the corners of his mouth turning upward.
His opinion is anything but objective, totally biased, given that every time he dove into love’s arms, he was met with the crude reality: not everyone’s meant to be loved, himself included.
The look you give him is enough to wipe the smirk off his face.
“Soulmates exist, Logan. We all have one.” There’s a certainty in your tone, marked by the subtle way in which you say his name, that he finds alluring. He shouldn’t, especially when you seem angry above all.
“And where is yours, then?”
He regrets it as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your expression becomes inscrutable. You could be either disappointed, frustrated, or even exasperated—sad, perhaps?
Logan feels as though a weight has settled on his shoulders just from staring into your eyes.
You strike back with silence. Plain, pure, dreadful silence that has him wondering if he’s breathing properly.
At long last, Wade comes back from his expedition, keys dangling from his fingers. “It was quite the treasure hunt, you know? You’ve got a lot of garbage in there.” He sticks his face between Logan’s and yours when you don't answer him. “Guys, is there something wrong? Are you doing a staring contest? If so, can I join?”
“I need to start getting ready for work,” you announce, standing up from the couch. Logan mimics you, and you open the door, your fingers curling around the knob. “You should get going. And Wade,” you pause, acknowledging only him, “I need to talk to you later. In private.”
Without Logan. That’s what you wanted to say but didn’t.
“Sure, my queen. I live to serve,” Wade says in rejoinder, and he kisses your forehead briefly, which forces Logan to avert his gaze the whole time his lips are on you, feeling uncomfortable watching. “Take care, alright?”
You give Wade a small nod, waiting until he’s outside your apartment to glance at Logan.
“Goodbye,” you croak, and he knows he should say something, that he—
The door almost closes on his nose.
Had he been an asshole? He was merely expressing his thoughts. The idea of soulmates didn’t sit well with him.
Once settled into Wade’s apartment, Logan steps into the shower, water rinsing off his body. Yet he finds himself unable to stop thinking about you.
The disappointment in your eyes when he asked about your soulmate.
The coldness in your tone at the end, so different from the warmth you initially offered.
He feels drawn to you, as if some sort of invisible string is tying the two of you. Were it possible, he would use his own claws to cut it, but he can’t discern where it begins or ends. Instead, he prefers to blame his touch-starved state for this reaction.
He’s already hating this earth. So much for a man whose skin refuses to scar.
And where is yours, then?
His words shouldn’t have stung the way they did. All the charm—the gruff exterior, the mysterious personality—had vanished.
The guy from another universe, with the claws, the healing abilities, and the raspy voice, is a moron.
A ridiculously good-looking moron? Yes, but a moron nonetheless.
There is something about him you can’t quite place. A chill creeps down your spine as you replay the instant your eyes first locked. Your body had reacted in ways it never had before, drawn to him like metal to a magnet.
Why? You’d seen handsome men before, even been with some. Yet, you’ve never felt this—this gravitational pull, this inexplicable pull to invade someone’s personal space.
How would your soulmate feel if he saw you like this, lusting after another man?
You shudder at the thought. This isn’t like you. You pride yourself on loyalty—perhaps a little too much. You don’t read two books at the same time, and you’ve been buying the same brand of shampoo for the past five years.
So why now? Why him? It feels like a betrayal of your own mind, your conscience turned against you.
Let things stay as they are—it’s safer that way. You don’t want to know the reason behind this forceful need.
After all, being his grumpy and ill-tempered self, he’ll stay holed up in Wade’s apartment, avoiding any interaction with the real world. And you? You’ll forget about him. Easy-peasy.
That afternoon, as you take a nap on the couch, he invades your dreams. It’s not even a wet dream, but he’s there, staking a claim on a part of you he has no right to.
You wake up with your hand clutching your chest, a frustrated punch landing on the nearest cushion.
The next day, you drop by Wade’s place for a quick visit, your eyes darting around the room every few seconds, half-expecting Logan to appear out of nowhere.
“I told you, he’s sleeping. That guy’s got a fucked up sleep schedule,” Wade says, urging you to take a seat beside him at the table. “Why don’t you wanna see him?”
Because he’s messing with your sanity. Your brain cells are practically disintegrating at the mere thought of breathing the same air as him.
“I just—I need to tell you something.”
“Are you pregnant?”
“What? Wade, no! You’ve been gone for three days—pregnancies take months.”
“I’d make an amazing uncle, though.” He grabs your hand between his, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Babies are so adorable at that—”
“My scars are back,” you cut him off, putting an end to his nonsense. Pulling the neck of your sweater to the side, you show him the thin lines etched into your collarbone. “But they are different this time.”
“Different? You mean they changed?” His disbelief is clear as he reaches for your arm, frowning while he inspects more of your scars. Wade’s jaw slackens, color draining out of his face. “Fuck. Fuck!”
“Fuck?”
“Yeah, fuck!” His strong arms envelop you, and you lean into the embrace, resting your cheek against his shoulder. “Is this good news? Are we happy? Does this mean I have a shot at becoming an uncle after all?”
You laugh a little at his eagerness, rubbing gentle circles into his back. “I am happy. I just—I don’t know what these changes mean yet.”
Althea steps out of the bathroom, her cane tapping the floor in rhythmic beats. “I already told you what they mean.”
Wade pulls away from you, glaring at her. “You meddler! Haven’t we talked about not eavesdropping? Hasn’t life taught you anything after all these decades?”
“Upside of being blind: I’ve never seen this motherfucker in Crocs,” she says, pointing her cane at you, though you know her aim is Wade. “Downside of being blind: I hear everything in this apartment. And you, kid, have a new soulmate.”
“I know what we talked about the other day, but... it doesn’t make sense, Al. You only get one soulmate,” you protest, feeling the tension grow as you pace around the table. “Why can’t it just be simple? My friends are getting engaged, years are flying by, and I’m still out here chasing this… this idiot who no one can even find!”
That’s when Logan appears, emerging from his room, holding several empty beer cans. He rolls his eyes and walks straight into the kitchen. “Great. Who else is coming tonight?”
Wade smirks, clapping a hand on Logan’s shoulder as he looks at you. “Sweetie, Logan’s going through his second puberty at the ripe old age of two hundred. The pediatrician said it’s just hormones, nothing to worry about. Excuse his shitty attitude.”
With a low groan, Logan shrugs off Wade’s hand, scowling. If anything, the younger man’s grin just grows bigger. “Wolvie, I gotta admit that whole ‘Don’t fall in love with me or I’ll break your heart’ personality shouldn’t turn me on, but here we are.”
You decide to take that as your cue to leave. You grab your bag, muttering a quick goodbye to Althea as you head for the door.
But Logan calls after you. “Can we talk?”
You freeze, your back to him. “How much did you hear?” you ask, not daring—not being able—to meet his gaze.
“All of it,” he admits after a beat, and you curse under your breath. “But it doesn’t—Hey!” He follows you into the hallway. “I’m talking to you!”
“No, you’re not.” You fumble for your keys, fingers shaking as you try to unlock your door. “Leave me alone.”
“I won’t,” he mumbles behind you, his voice softer now. “Come on. Don’t be so harsh.”
“I can’t believe you,” you whisper, finally finding the right key and jiggling it into the lock. The door swings open, and you step into the safety of your apartment. But when you try to close it, Logan’s foot wedges into the gap, blocking it. “Get out.”
He doesn’t budge. “No.”
“Logan, I’m not in the mood.”
“Well, me neither. But I owe you an apology.”
You wonder if he realizes the hold he has on you. No matter how hard you try to mask it, the unbearable pounding of your heart betrays you.
Scanning his features, you trace the rugged contours of his face with your eyes, lingering on the lines on his forehead—the aftermath of what it looks like a life lived through bitterness and pain.
“Can I come in?” he insists, his tone on the verge of sounding pleading.
You hesitate. The sensible part of you screams to send him away. Thinking that avoiding him would be as easy as stealing candy from a baby is a long-forgotten idea now: you’d been naïve to even consider it possible.
He’s going to find a way to sneak into your space, your home—and you’ll let him in. You’ll grant him a chance to cross a boundary that should’ve been already drawn.
It feels like you’re fifteen again, infatuated with the guy you know you shouldn’t get close to. Paul from high school wasn’t your soulmate back then—Logan isn’t now.
The smart thing would be to take a step back, accept his apology, and ask him to leave. That’s how you preserve what little remains of your sanity and protect your heart, which is already hanging by a thread.
But God, it feels so good to be near him.
You step aside. He walks in. Something tells you this won’t be the last time.
“I’m waiting.” You stay near the counter, pressing your back against it, and keeping your distance. Logan sits awkwardly on the edge of your couch, unsure of where to begin.
“Look, about what I said yesterday…I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” He sounds sincere, earnest. “I didn’t know you believed in soulmates.”
“It’s not a matter of believing in them or not, Logan. My soulmate is out there—yours too.”
Your words coax a grin from him, and he shakes his head. “I guess we’ll never see eye to eye on that.” In a fluid motion, he crosses the room, and you find his unexpected proximity a bit exasperating. “Do you forgive me?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Give me a break, darlin’. I’m trying my best.”
“Well, you were an asshole.”
“Yes.”
“The first time we exchanged words.”
“Also yes.”
“And now you’re apologizing.”
“Positive. I just did.”
It’s not that you’re easy—it’s Logan’s persuasive allure that gets to you.
“What else can I do to win your forgiveness?” he wonders aloud, his syrupy voice making you tighten your grip on the counter.
An idea sparks in your mind. You move toward the pile of books next to the TV, eyeing the titles, until one catches your attention: your copy of Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, one of the first novels you’d read when you were younger.
It’s adorned with colorful post-its, and the pages, sort of rough to the touch, are marked with handwritten notes in the margins.
“How do you feel about reading?”
“Not my strongest suit,” he answers, arching a brow as he takes in your enthusiasm. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“You want me to believe you’re sorry for what you said? Then read this,” you say, wiggling the book in front of him, “and we can start over.”
“What is it about? Let me guess: love and soulmates. Did I get it right?” he asks, playfulness lacing his tone. His breath hitches as you press the book against his chest, silently urging him to take it. His pinky grazes your hand, feeling your skin and sending a jolt through you.
Logan watches you with half-lidded eyes, and it takes every ounce of willpower to tear yourself away from him and his maddening touch.
You clear your throat. “Open it to page one hundred fifty-three.”
“Do you—you remember specific pages?”
“And read what’s underlined in black,” you murmur, eyes fluttering closed for an instant. “Please.”
Logan must mutter something along the lines of ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’ before searching for it. It’s only then that he begins to recite the passage:
He is not to them what he is to me. He is not of their kind. I believe he is of mine; – I am sure he is – I feel akin to him – I understand the language of his countenance and movements; though rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him. Did I say, a few days since, that I had nothing to do with him but to receive my salary at his hands? Did I forbid myself to think of him in any other light than a paymaster? Blasphemy against nature! Every good, true, vigorous feeling I have gathers impulsively round him. I know I must conceal my sentiments: I must smother hope; I must remember that he cannot care much for me. For when I say that I am of his kind, I do not mean that I have his force to influence, and his spell to attract; I mean only that I have certain tastes and feelings in common with him. I must, then, repeat continually that we are for ever sundered: – and yet, while I breathe and think, I must love him.
You’ve chosen a damn good page.
Logan looks up from the book, his mouth slightly parted, as if he’s about to speak. You interject before he can find the words.
“You’ve got a week to read it.”
“How long is it again?”
“Four hundred pages.”
He surrenders, sighing in defeat. “You’re killing me here, y’know?”
“Write an opinion essay if possible.”
Right there, Logan offers you a mock laugh. “Haha. That’s so funny.”
“It is for me,” you talk back, unable to hide your smile from him, and soon he mirrors your expression.
As Logan steps toward the door, he hesitates and glances back. “We’re all good then?”
Leaning against the doorframe, you raise your chin defiantly. “We’ll be when you finish the book.”
What he says next has your stomach turning into knots. “You’re trouble.” His tone shifts—no longer teasing, but grounded in truth. Gone are the jokes; he seems to mean every word.
For the rest of the night, one line from the book doesn’t stop echoing in your mind—the line about soulmates: I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him.
You’re trouble for him, and he’s trouble for you. You hope he knows it too.
He thought that not seeing you for a week would snuff out his feelings. That by next Wednesday, every thought tied to your name, every urge to uncover the last of your secrets, would be extinguished.
That's what time usually did: it diminished dangerous desires that couldn't afford to be voiced, and buried those longings that had no place in the light of day.
Logan now figures he’s been underestimating the spell you cast on him with just a few glances and the intensity of your eyes. He’s seen you animated, angry—both defiant and vulnerable.
Each of your gestures feels like a memory he can’t quite place.
The way you laugh, the right corner of your mouth lifting just slightly higher than the left—he swears it isn’t the first time he's seen a smile brighter than the sun.
Still, he convinces himself it’s all in his head. He must be the one losing his mind, the years finally catching up to him. It’s the only reasonable explanation for the thoughts that consume his every waking moment.
He’s wrong—you’re right. He’s seeing things where there are none—you’re simply too kind.
Too kind. Too young. Too damn clever for your own good, with your books and that sharp mind of yours. He wonders how you see yourself.
Do you like the reflection in the mirror? Are you content with the way your life has turned out?
Do you, too, lie awake at night, the bed stretching endlessly, aching for a touch that never comes?
The walls in this place are paper-thin. When darkness falls, and the moon rises, the big, scary Wolverine can’t close his eyes.
Instead, he listens.
Some nights, you play the same movie on repeat—a romantic comedy that lasts exactly one hundred and twenty minutes. For two hours straight, he’s privy to your laughter, your commentary at the characters on the screen.
He hears you cry when the lead couple drifts apart after a terrible argument, but they always find their way back to each other, and you watch every second until the credits roll.
None of the other films you pick ever ends in heartbreak, he realizes. They all have happy endings—the kind you wish for yourself.
One way or another, there must be a way to get you out of his system. He knows, without a doubt, that you wouldn’t want him. He’s not your soulmate, and it’s clear that finding that person has become the center of your existence.
Logan can’t allow himself to be the moron who derails your purpose.
Sure, he’s done bad things, but he likes to believe that at least a part of him—some small fraction—hasn’t been lost yet. That there’s a piece of him that can be saved, which is the reason why he stayed here: to be a better man than the one he was in his universe.
But it’s hard. Harder still because it’s you who disrupts his quest for redemption. How is he supposed to go on with his life when every thought circles back to you? The idea of holding you, kissing you—sleeping beside you haunts him.
And so the images blur, new dreams twisting with his usual nightmares.
Which one is worse, he can no longer tell.
One afternoon, while deliberately steering clear of Jane Eyre, he reluctantly turns to Wade in search of answers. “Tell me more about her.”
Wade, lounging on the couch, stops scrolling on his phone and drops it onto his chest, drawing his eyebrows together.
“Her? Who do you mean?” His tone oozes with feigned innocence, barely containing a shit-eating grin when Logan grits out your name, his tone rough, almost pained. “Oh, Romeo. You’ve got it bad.”
Intending to maintain some semblance of control, Logan strides into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and the last bottle of whiskey. As he tips it, only a few drops fall into the glass.
“No, I don’t,” he says, extending his arm and holding the bottle up. “We’re out of whiskey.”
“You keep saying we, but you’re the only alcoholic in this apartment.” Wade kicks off his shoes, propping his feet on the coffee table. “So, why the sudden interest in the lady? She getting through that tough exterior of yours? I’ll give her points for that.”
“And you wonder why I don’t talk to you.”
“I saw the book,” the younger man replies, lacing his fingers behind his head, watching as Logan rummages through the fridge with increasing frustration. “You never told me you were into classics. If I’d known, I’d have gotten you a copy of Pride and Prejudice.”
“Shut your mouth.”
“I’m sorry, weren’t you the one who came to me, looking for the essential oil of truth?”
The silence that follows is thick and uncomfortable, mood-killing.
“See what I just did there?” he adds, and Logan feels forced to shake his head from side to side, appearing conflicted. Wade lets out a low huff. “That was Virginia Woolf. Add her to your reading list.”
“Has anyone ever told you how obnoxious you are?”
“More times than I can count. I’m just not everyone’s cup of coffee.”
“Tea, Wade. Not everyone’s cup of tea.”
“Whatever.” Wade simpers, as though Logan’s correction is the punchline to a joke only he gets. He sets his palms flat on the table, looming closer with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “So, what would you like to know about my dear friend?”
Logan hesitates, the weight of his question heavy on his tongue. “What’s the deal with her scars?”
The air shifts. Wade’s playful expression fades and he tilts his head, his tone turning serious. “I don’t think it’s my story to tell,” he begins, gaze dropping to the floor. “But she lost them years ago. She was living a normal life, and one day, they were just—gone, like they were never there. It broke her. We didn’t know each other back then, but you’ve seen her.”
Wade’s eyes flick back up, while Logan stands there, tongue-tied. “You even know the kind of books she reads—nothing can shake that belief in real love, in soulmates being destined. Imagine how she must’ve felt when she found out her presumed soulmate was dead… without a single warning.”
From what he had heard, that sense of loss was impossible to put into words. Those who’d gone through it described the experience as if half of you—your body, your soul, your very essence—was being ripped away.
The pain was excruciating, and the only way to survive it was by means of tolerating it—no remedy, just the endurance to outlast the agony.
It wasn’t just a momentary hurt. It was the kind of torment that lingered, making you question who you were and what little remained of you.
You and Logan had more in common than he’s willing to admit.
“She’s a good person,” he mutters absent-mindedly, his thumb grazing the cover of the book. He had carried it everywhere for a week now, without even cracking it open.
“Oh, you dirty pig…” Wade whispers, his eyes lighting up as if a lightbulb suddenly went off in his mind. “Now I get it. You wanna know her. Like, really know her!”
“I don’t—”
“Your sex life is none of my business. I’m all up for you putting your mutant dick to work, otherwise it’s just wasted potential. But it’s my friend we’re talking about.”
Logan’s jaw tightens, and he snaps. “Drop the speech, alright? I’m not trying to get into her pants. I just want to be nice. That’s all.”
“Nice, huh? What’s your version of nice? Starting a two-person book club?” Wade stifles a laugh, pressing a finger to Logan’s chest. “Look, if you want to sleep with her, and the feeling’s mutual, then go for it. Just tell me this—how long’s it been since you visited Pussy Village? Was it before or after the Big Bang?”
Things are never truly serious with Wade Wilson. “I’m not answering that.”
Wade raises both hands in surrender, still chuckling. “Fine, fine. But if you’re really interested, just be clear about it. She doesn’t need a half-assed situationship.”
By now, it’s like a mantra he repeats again and again, hoping that eventually both Wade and he will start to believe it. “I don’t want to have sex with her.”
As he heads back to his (now Wade’s old) room, Wade adds, “I’m sure she’d appreciate it if you underlined some quotes you like.”
Much to his dismay, that’s exactly what Logan does.
His handwriting isn’t the most legible, but he tries his best, leaving notes in the margins of some pages, such as:
I hate this John kid.
Her aunt is a cunt.
This is too cheesy.
Mr. Rochester’s married?
St. John—what a prick.
He finishes the book at 7 a.m. A long-ass book—just for you. While getting ready for work, Wade calls him an unemployed fucker, and Logan knows nothing better than to shoot back a similar insult, stretching his arms as the first rays of sunlight creep through the curtains.
Wade was right about something, even if Logan himself doesn’t wish to admit it: he’s behaving like a teenager—staying up until dawn, practically chained to the bed without daring to go out. Falling for a girl he didn’t know a week ago.
Learning to control his impulses has been a hard task, especially with his temperament. Over the years, Logan thought he’d mastered the art of self-restraint, long past the point where his body moved without his mind’s permission.
As his feet carry him down the hall toward your apartment, he recognizes how wrong he is.
This is a terrible idea, he thinks. And yet, his fist knocks on the wood. Three times.
Fuck.
The door opens just a crack. You peek out, your face barely visible, eyes puffy from sleep. “Logan?”
His name isn’t a fancy one. It’s pretty normal, pretty standard. There must be a thousand other guys named like him—yet it’s only when you say it, your voice turning it into something rare and unique, that it feels different, like it’s only his.
The tone you use with him isn’t the one he’s used to: Logan, you’re a disappointment. Logan, how dare you turn your back on your friends? Logan, they’re all dead. Logan, it’s your fault.
Yours is inviting, and warm, and new. He likes new.
“I just finished it,” he answers, holding up the book, mindful not to grip it too tight as not to crumple the pages.
You scratch the back of your head, blinking at him. “You just finished it… at 7 a.m.?
Yeah, it sounds stupid now that you say it out loud, but it’s true. Hoping his reaction is enough to explain what he can’t put into words, he gives you a slow nod.
This time, you don’t wait for him to say more. “Come in?”
Yes, this is what he’s been looking forward all week. This moment, this interaction.
This Come in. This Yes, thank you. You’re so kind.
His quiet acceptance of your invitation, the unpronounced thought of I don’t deserve this, but I can’t back off now, because how could I ever say no to you?
He follows you into the kitchen as you move to make tea. “Want some?” you ask, but he declines the offer. If he were to drink anything right now, it would be something much stronger, not tea, despite the early hour. “You’re here to talk about the book?”
“Well, you told me I could come back after reading it.”
“I did,” you say, a small smile tugging at your lips as you hide it behind your mug. “I just wasn’t expecting you to be so punctual.”
You don’t need to know that he’s been counting down the seconds, marking each minute in his mind since the last time he saw you. That’s a detail he’ll keep to himself. “It’s a good story.”
“Tell me about it.” You smile even wider, and he takes a moment to absorb the details of your face—the crinkles by your eyes, the way your nose scrunches when you’re amused. “I lent you my most precious book. Fell in love with it years ago.”
“I can see why you liked it,” he explains, flipping through the pages to find the one he marked. “All the romance and the yearning—”
“Hey, it’s also good for other reasons,” you try to defend yourself, but any other argument dies on your lips when he finds the passage he was looking for and begins to read aloud.
“I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you, especially when you are near me, as now,” he recites, his voice lower, almost reverent, as he looks up from the page to meet your gaze. “It is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your frame.”
You seem startled by the sharp sound of him closing the book. He’s sort of breathless, and from where he stands, he can tell you are too. “That’s one of my favorite passages.”
“I can’t blame you for believing in soulmates if this is the kind of thing you read growing up,” he teases, handing the book back to you.
Though a part of him almost wishes he didn’t have to—so that it would still be a reason, a tether, pulling him back to you again and again.
Grinning, you take it, your eyes remaining trained on his. “I happen to notice it hasn’t changed your perspective on soulmates.”
“It’ll take more than a book.”
“This is, in my opinion, one of the best love stories ever written. How else will I convince you?”
“Why do you feel like you need to convince me?” He takes a step forward—you take a step back. “Why can’t it be the other way around? I might end up being the one who convinces you.”
“You could never,” you respond, clasping your hands behind your back. “It would be like convincing me the sky is green instead of blue.”
Logan retreats slightly. “Don’t you get tired?”
“Of what?”
“Of waiting. Of always being on the lookout.”
You don’t react badly to his question. You’re not even shaken, not fazed in the slightest. “When I meet him, I’ll know all the waiting was worth it.”
“And in the meantime?” Logan inquires, pressing himself further into your intimacy, edging closer as if testing the boundaries you’re willing to cross. His words are a subtle request for more, for answers. “What will you do until you find him?”
If you ever do, he thinks, but it’s left unsaid, lingering in his thoughts. He’s getting better at not saying the things that sit heavy in his chest without thinking.
“I think you misunderstand, Logan.” You study him through your lashes, and he feels he’s become the keeper of your most sacred secrets. “It’s not about waiting as if my life’s on pause. I’ve been with other people. But in the end, I want to choose him.”
That casual admission strikes him like a wave of cold water. A flicker of jealousy burns at the edges of his composure, though he tries to smother it.
I’ve been with other people, you say, your tone so nonchalant, and yet the mental images that flood his mind are anything but comfortable.
He imagines someone else standing in your kitchen. Perhaps in five minutes, there will be another man knocking on your door, here to discuss a book, and it won’t be him.
Perhaps this isn’t rare for you—all this come in, grab something to drink, let’s talk when you’re done reading.
Perhaps he’s not as important as you make him feel.
His thoughts spiral until your voice pulls him back from the brink.
“Don’t you understand how beautiful it is?” There’s a dazzling glint in your expression, a light in your eyes that makes him ache. “Outside of these four walls, there’s a person who’s waiting to meet me, in the same way I expect to meet him. I can’t grant myself the choice not to believe in something like this.”
Far from easing the martyr in his mind, this conversation only deepens his internal struggle. The questions overlap each other: what happens if you never find him? Would you ever consider settling for somebody else?
He rephrases that last one—would you ever consider being with him?
“He’s a lucky guy,” Logan murmurs, and just like that, he feels himself slipping deeper, falling into the rabbit hole with you guiding him through the madness.
For a moment, he can pretend—pretend that matching scars and bonds that defy the rules of his principles make sense.
Maybe, just for you, he’ll allow himself to believe it.
Your eyes soften with sudden emotion, glistening with the beginnings of tears. He feels the primal urge to reach out, to cup your cheek, to be there when the first tear falls. “You think so?” you ask, your voice fragile.
I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you, especially when you are near me, as now.
“Of course I do,” he replies, his tone quiet but laden with a strange, undeniable truth.
It is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your frame.
Whatever this is between you—it’s messed up. He’s messed up. And you… you’re just as tangled in this chaos for indulging it, for looking at him in that way that calls out to him.
The more time he spends with you, the less he feels like himself. Everything he’s done lately—reading that damn book, standing in your apartment at 7 a.m.—none of it feels like something he’d do.
It’s not just his mind you’re messing with: it’s his very sense of self.
Logan’s smart mouth had always been a liability, getting him into trouble either by saying too much or by choosing the wrong words. Bad things had always followed in the wake of his tongue.
Somehow, when it comes to you, he’s the most careful he’s ever been. He doesn’t want to upset you, nor does he want to be the cause of any sorrow that might affect your heart.
When the two of you stand at the threshold once more, just as you have other times before, you softly say: “I feel like I’m experiencing a déjà vu.”
He laughs, because it sounds ridiculous. “Care to explain why?”
“You come, we talk, you leave.” You lean against the wall, your hand ghosting over the handle. “But you never stay that long.”
There’s no mistaking the layered meaning in your words. You, who work with language and its peculiarities for a living, never speak by chance—every phrase, every pause, carries an assigned weight. The double meaning in your statement doesn’t escape either of you.
You’re a natural at this madness, diving headfirst into it. You must be losing it, too, because your actions don’t match what you said before.
Slowly, his fingers brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear, the perfect excuse to feel your skin, to close the distance without saying what he actually wants.
They say food and shelter are the basic human needs, but Logan chooses to believe they forgot to include the longing to reach out and just feel you.
“I can’t stay,” he finally responds to your earlier comment, his hand still lingering against your skin.
His strength—the only thing saving him from completely giving in—helps him pull himself away.
Before the impulse to kiss you becomes too overwhelming to resist, Logan leaves.
Some time later, you’re making lunch, music playing softly in the background at the same time the city’s distinct noise finds a way to break through your tranquility.
You rely greatly on the knowledge that you’re good at multitasking—now more than ever, with a book in one hand and the other stirring the pasta on the stove.
The warmth from the pot rises around you, but you trust yourself not to be careless. Not to be stupid enough to burn yourself with the boiling water.
This time, you miscalculate. Not only do you dip the wooden spoon into the pot, but your fingertips too.
Though it only lasts a second, and the voice in your head instantly screams Hot! Hot! Hot!, the shock makes you drop the book to the floor. You yank your hand back, racing to the sink to run it under cold water.
“Fuck,” you grumble, watching the skin redden in protest. “Lesson learned: no more multitasking.”
The funny thing is, just a door away, Logan’s watching a movie with Wade when he feels a sting in the tips of his fingers.
It’s barely there, practically faint, but he looks down, inspecting his hand like it doesn’t belong to his own body. His skin briefly flushes with irritation before returning to its normal state.
Wade notices his distraction. “Hey, you okay?”
Logan pays no mind to it. “Sure. Just felt something strange.”
Is it still called avoiding if you’re both doing it? You’d like to think so.
For the sake of clarity, let’s say you’ve been actively avoiding Logan, but truth be told—he’s been avoiding you too. That last encounter in your apartment didn’t help matters at all.
If anything, it made everything worse.
You’ve been down this road before, knowing men like him too well: they’re everywhere, until they’re not.
One day, they vanish without a trace, leaving you staring at the empty space they used to occupy, asking yourself ‘What happened to my Prince Charming in disguise?’
They disappear as though they never existed, and not even the best detective can track them down.
So far, your avoidance strategy has worked wonders. Maybe it’s for the best. He’s a distraction—an undeniably attractive one, the kind anyone would want to trip over.
Yet you miss him, which is dumb: why are you missing someone you were never supposed to care about in the first place?
You return home after a long trip to the grocery store, arms laden with bags. It’s the kind of errand that exhausts you, though you keep telling yourself it’s better than thinking about him.
As you struggle to get through the building's exit, you resign yourself to the fact that it’ll take several trips to bring everything up to your apartment.
Then the elevator doors slide open, and you drop everything to the floor.
You should’ve known better than to assume victory so soon. After days of successfully avoiding him, there he is.
And of course, it’s when you look your worst—tired from running around, weighed down by groceries, barely holding it together.
“Hey,” he greets you, standing just outside the elevator, like he’s not sure if he should step inside or stay where he is. He’s dressed in a red-and-black flannel shirt, layered over a white vest, a leather jacket tossed over his shoulders, and a pair of jeans that seem made for him.
He looks... ridiculously good.
“Hi,” you manage to answer after a beat, scrambling to collect the bags you’d dropped. “Just—give me a second.”
“Let me help you,” Logan says, ducking down to gather the groceries, but you pull them away.
“I’ve got it. Are you going out? On a date, maybe?” You nod toward his clothes, trying to keep things light, teasing even.
Glancing down at himself, a crease appears between his brows, and in one swoop, he gathers all the bags with a single hand. “I’m supposed to meet Wade at a bar, but he’ll survive without me.”
“Logan, you don’t—”
But he’s already moving, one hand tugging you out of the elevator, the other gesturing toward your apartment.
“Not up for debate,” he mutters. Then, without waiting for permission, he holds out his hand. “Keys.”
Sighing, you dig into your pocket and drop them into his open palm. He unlocks the door with practiced ease, stepping inside and placing the bags on your kitchen counter.
As he starts to unpack them, you stop him. “You really don’t need to do that.”
That seems to catch his attention. He pauses, turning toward you with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the counter.
His unrelenting stare sizes you up, and he cocks his head to the side. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
He thinks he’s so discreet, so smooth. “Well, I’ve been busy,” you explain, fiddling with the frayed edge of your sweater, tugging at it like it might unravel your nerves.
You hear him click his tongue. “Been busy too.” His words hang in the air, thickening the atmosphere. Your body tenses, and you stare at his shoes, until— “Sweetheart,” he calls you softly, and your eyes snap shut for a moment, your chin almost pressing against your chest. “My eyes are up here.”
A quick flutter of your lashes brings you back to him, and your chest tightens with the effort it takes to look into his eyes. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” you ask, praying he’ll let this go.
You watch as his mouth twitches with something halfway between a smile and a smirk. “You already want me to leave?”
“If you have plans, then yeah.”
He huffs out a laugh, inhaling a shallow breath like you’ve missed something obvious. “Wade can wait. He’ll be fine.” His expression shifts, and the playful tone in his voice falls away, replaced by something more raw. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
You can’t help but snort. “Oh, please. Like you haven’t been doing the same.” You walk over to the couch, feeling your legs wobble beneath you. You collapse into one corner, hoping the distance will help you breathe.
Like a shadow, Logan follows after you, sitting far too close. His legs splay wide, so wide they’re almost grazing yours.
“At least I have a reason for it. What about you?” His hand reaches out, fingers closing around yours in a grip that’s both firm and gentle, enhancing your anxiety. Your throat tightens, the room shrinking around you. “I need you to tell me I’m not crazy,” he says, his voice rough and low. “I need you to tell me you feel it too.”
Panic flares in your chest, and you scramble for time. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mutter, but your voice cracks, the uncertainty leaking through the cracks in your bravado.
He doesn’t buy your acting. “You do. We can’t keep playing dumb. You’re gonna make me lose my fuckin’ mind one of these days.”
It’s not just his words—it’s the way he stands so close, heat radiating from his body, the roughness of his hand gripping yours like he’s terrified you’ll slip away.
The intensity of it all weighs on you in ways you can’t even begin to describe, leaving you breathless, caught between denial and desire.
“Logan, this isn’t—”
“What? Okay?” There’s a glimpse of mirthlessness in his tone as he speaks, his forehead furrowing. “I can’t stay away from you, don’t you see it? It feels too good to be wrong,” he utters, inching forward. You know you should take a step back, tell him to stop. Nothing good can come from this. “It takes two to feel these things. It can’t be just me.”
“That doesn’t mean we have to give in.” Blood pounds in your ears, your pulse racing as your heart hammers unpleasantly. Little shivers of ice run through your spine, and yet, your stomach burns with desire.
More than ever, you feel yourself slipping, your sanity at risk.
Logan runs his eyes up and down your face, agitated, almost going cross-eyed. “Earlier you asked if I was going on a date. Would you like that? Me being with other people? Kissing another woman?” His hot breath caresses your cheek, and you avert your gaze momentarily. “Answer me.”
Don’t do it. For the love of God, don’t. “I can’t—I don’t—”
“Come on, baby.”
“I don’t want you to be with other people,” you mumble, your lips almost grazing his, and that’s all he needs to grip your chin and pull you into a kiss.
His mouth moves hungrily over yours, pushing you back until the armrest digs into your lower back. A choked whimper gets lost in your throat, and you bring him closer by grabbing onto the lapels of his jacket, your chest pressing against his.
Logan bites down on your lip, soothing the sting with his tongue, and the moan you let out reverberates in the apartment.
“This is what you were hiding from me?” he rasps, his forehead bumping against yours. “These sweet sounds you make?”
You end up perched in his lap, your thighs bracketing his hips. He’s hard beneath you, and as you shift, your center makes contact with his erection through the layers of fabric.
Both of you sigh into each other’s mouths, your hips moving on their own accord, rocking slightly against his clothed cock. He hooks one of his arms around your waist, guiding your movements.
Everything seems to fall into place. Outside your window, birds chirp. The world feels lighter, like a better place. The beast inside you quiets, and for once, your mind is blissfully blank.
Logic? Error 404—not found.
You tug at his hair, and Logan growls, breaking the kiss. “Do that again.” He jerks under your touch, bucking up into you. Encouraged, you pull his hair again, fingers wrapping around a strand at the nape of his neck, and you’re rewarded with a deep groan.
He’s dizzy for it, but you’re no better, not when he trails his kisses down your neck, his mouth latching onto your skin, tasting the sweat and salt.
“I can’t control myself around you,” he murmurs, groping your tits, and you wail, the ache between your legs becoming intolerable. His hands slip under your sweater, caressing the scars on your back.
That’s when recognition settles over you.
What are you doing? And why are you doing it?
He ceases sucking your flesh when you go rigid on top of him. Pecking your lips once again, Logan’s hands cradle your face, his thumbs rubbing circles on your cheeks. “What’s wrong?”
You don’t understand how he does it, how he can remain so calm. Doesn’t he realize the gravity of this? “We have to stop.”
“Why?”
“Don’t ask me something you already know the answer to.”
His arms drop to his sides, releasing you from his hold. You push yourself off him, away from the couch, putting as much distance between you as you can.
Pressing your palms to your eyes, you shake your head. “God, I’m stupid. This is stupid.”
Your reaction seems to get on his nerves, his frustration somehow increasing. Logan stands, towering over you. “Was it stupid when you were dry humping me?”
“Fuck you, Logan.”
“I’m not the bad guy here. You kissed me back.” He doesn’t let up, trailing behind you as you try to escape. “You want me as much as I want you.”
“Will you stop saying that?” you bark, throwing your arms in the air. Your chest rises and falls with rapid breaths. “Yeah, we like each other. So? Does that make it right? How can you just ignore how wrong this is?”
His expression hardens, anger flashing in his eyes. “Forget your idea of what's good and bad. You're just upset you can't control what you feel.”
“He’s closer than ever.”
Logan gawks at you, his voice bitter as he goes on with his rambling. “That fucker again? Don’t you ever get tired of talking about someone who you don’t even know? Because you’re certainly wearing me out.”
“You wish you were him, don’t you?” You jab your finger into his chest, feeling his heartbeat, a flutter you choose to ignore. “You want to be my soulmate.”
“Damn right I do,” he practically spits his words, narrowing his eyes at you. “But I’m not him.”
“No. You’re not.”
Everything seems to fall out of place. Outside your window, birds don’t chirp—they scream for mercy. The world doesn’t feel lighter, but heavier. The beast inside you roars back to life, restless and louder than ever, while your mind spins in chaos.
“We shouldn’t see each other anymore.” Your voice pierces through the thick silence in the room, and you swallow down the lump forming in your throat.
“If that’s what you want,” he replies, his jaw clenched tight, irritation radiating off him in waves.
“It’s what we both need.”
“Speak for yourself. I don’t have a soulmate.” His tone is biting, but you don’t miss the undercurrent of longing in his words. “But if in any other universe I do, I hope it’s you.”
Your hand turns the knob, and then he’s halfway out the door, sparing you one last glance before he turns his back to you.
No more visits. No more books. No more bruising kisses that leave you questioning your mere existence.
Let things stay as they are—it’s safer that way. You don’t want to know the reason behind this forceful need.
After all, being his grumpy and ill-tempered self, he’ll stay holed up in Wade’s apartment, avoiding any interaction with the real world. And you? You’ll forget about him. Easy-peasy.
It didn’t go well in the end.
You remember your first heartbreak—seventeen, fresh out of high school. One of your hands clutched a million dreams, and the other, a pillow soaked with your tears.
Your mother remained by your side, caressing your back, attempting to soothe the sobs that racked your body. She murmured that it’d pass, that you wouldn’t feel like this forever. You believed her then, and trusted that things would eventually be okay.
Almost ten years later, another heartbreak shouldn’t come as a surprise. By now, you thought you would’ve developed the tools to survive it. You should be able to piece yourself back together by instinct.
But life, as it turns out, has a peculiar way of catching you off guard.
Whether it’s pent-up horniness, touch-starvation, or genuine affection—it doesn't change the fact that your pseudo-relationship with Logan fell apart.
Though you’re not the one who’s suffering the most. Neither is Logan.
Wade, the third party in this tangled mess, has somehow taken it the hardest.
“I feel like a child of divorce,” he says, his head resting on your lap, eyes distant as they fixate on the peeling wallpaper. “You need to do something about that.”
“I’ll take care of it next month.”
He’s supposed to be the one supporting you, but it feels like the roles are reversed—you’re comforting him, letting him vent.
“My two favorite people now can’t even be in the same room. What are we gonna do for Christmas? New Year's Eve?” Straightening up, he grabs the nearest cushion and buries his face into it to muffle a defeated scream. “Damn it, Cupid! You had one job!”
All in all, Wade’s emotionally unavailable at the moment, grieving your separation from Logan as if it were his own loss, too caught up in his melodrama to be of any real help.
Meanwhile, you fill your days with work, books, anything to keep your mind occupied.
You go to bed too late, you wake up too early. Sleep too little, cry too much.
One thing stays constant—you and Logan don’t talk. Stolen glances in the hallway, awkward elevator rides—those are the only remnants of whatever you once were. Back to being strangers again.
Well, not really. Strangers don’t know the route to your mouth the way he does.
The ache lingers every day. Missing him when you’re awake is a common occurrence. At night, as you toss and turn beneath the sheets, he stars in your dreams. You can’t recall the last time he wasn’t lodged in your thoughts.
Where there used to be ideas, creativity, and plots worth scribbling down, there’s now only Logan—a man destined to problematize your stay on earth.
That fucker again? Don’t you ever get tired of talking about someone who you don’t even know? Because you’re certainly wearing me out.
And yet, despite all of it, you continue to prioritize someone else. Someone who isn’t even here. Clung to the idea of a soulmate, you chose him over Logan.
What did he expect? For you to abandon your principles, your belief in destiny? It’s who you are. Nearly thirty years of life guided by one belief can’t just be discarded like trash.
You liked to separate things into categories: good and bad, right and wrong. A simple method to structure everything, to make sense of your world, and it has worked most of the time.
But now? The limits of those sacred categories look blurred. Your judgment feels unreliable, and you wonder if the choices you’ve made lately have been the correct ones.
Each of your decisions seems to be leading you further down a path you can’t recognize.
What’s the goal? Finding your soulmate, the voice in your head mockingly answers for the hundredth time, rolling its imaginary eyes. And where is he?
You’ve shut Logan out, a man who’s made it clear he has feelings for you, for this elusive person. Isn’t it time he steps into the light at long last?
This is what you fear the most: loneliness.
You don’t want to be the lone woman who sits by herself in a cafe, drawing pity from waitresses who discuss her solitude. By no means do you wish to be that friend who dispenses wise dating advice, but goes home to an empty bed. You refuse to become the godmother whose hand no one holds when her time comes.
No, this can’t be all fate has to offer to you. There must be more. If your life were a book, you’d be flipping through the pages to the last chapter, desperate to see how it ends.
Or, better yet, you’d grab a pen and rewrite it yourself. What kind of ending you’ll have—you’re not so sure about that.
It’s Sunday, one of those endless weekends where the only way to survive is by rearranging your entire apartment. You could manage it alone, but help would be nice—Wade’s help, to be more precise, would be perfect for this kind of task, and you find yourself knocking on his door.
No answer. Deciding to dial his number to see if he’s fallen asleep, you try calling him, waiting through the rings until he finally picks up. “Hey.”
Except it’s not Wade’s voice that answers. “I’m sorry, who is this?”
The door swings open, and Logan appears right behind it, holding Wade’s phone to his ear.
He narrows his eyes, leaning against the frame, a single eyebrow lifted in curiosity. “How sad. You don’t remember what I sound like.”
You feel foolish for still being on the call, so you lock your phone, ending it. “Where’s Wade?” you ask, frowning as you hold your breath, your voice sharper than intended.
“Out and about. Didn’t tell me where he was going,” Logan replies, glaring at you as he raises the phone to your face. “He left without this.”
Abort mission! Nodding in agreement, you begin to step back. “Great, I’ll look for him later.”
You’re close to being locked up once again in the safety of your apartment when you hear him: “You need anything?”
It’s the most he’s said to you in weeks. You hesitate, keeping your back turned. “I’m moving some heavy stuff around. Thought I could use the help.”
“I could do it.”
No. Not really. He’s doing that thing again—offering help when you know you shouldn’t accept it. You shake your head.
“It’s not necessary,” you say, forcing a casual tone.
“Doesn’t have to mean anything,” he retorts, his footsteps heavy and deliberate as they draw closer. With each passing second, your options shrink, leaving you no room for retreat. “Don’t worry. I won’t try to kiss you again if that’s what’s got you all worked up.”
“I’m not worked up,” you hiss, and he sidesteps you easily, his arm nudging yours.
The electricity is still there, undeniable, but neither of you has the courage to acknowledge it, acting as though it’s an ordinary occurrence.
His eyes roam the room, like he’s forgotten what your apartment looked like. He pauses by the bookshelf, his fingers gliding over the spine of Jane Eyre, and a low whistle escapes him as he slips it back into place.
You, frozen at the threshold, feel your irritation simmering just beneath the surface, and the urge to hide in your bedroom only becomes stronger.
After this, you’ll have to burn your favorite book. What a pity.
“What do you want me to do?” he asks, hooking his fingers into the loops of his jeans, his posture both confident and annoyingly relaxed.
There’s a challenge in his tone, and he acts as if you’re the one who pulled him into this situation—like he didn’t worm his way in here.
You gesture toward the couch. “Can you put it by the window?”
He sets to work, moving the smaller pieces of furniture aside to make space for the couch. Under no circumstances are you going to just stand there and watch him sweat.
Instead, you busy yourself with the long-forgotten glasses and cups gathering dust in one of the kitchen cabinets, each one glinting with past disappointments.
Wetting a towel, you start by wiping the rims. The air feels heavily charged with uneasiness, but you're relieved that for once, you can breathe without feeling like you’re on the brink of a heart attack.
You can already imagine Wade’s face when you tell him—
“So,” Logan’s voice cuts through the silence, startling you, “how’s the search going? Got any luck?”
His words have the desired effect on you, and the glass slips from your grasp, shattering against the floor in a crash that mirrors the jump of your heart. You curse under your breath, stepping back from the mess, taking in the shards sprawled around your shoes.
“Be careful,” he says from the other side of the room, still dragging the furniture into place, and you scrutinize him over your shoulder, your brows knitted.
“I don’t need your advice,” you murmur through gritted teeth as you crouch to pick up the larger shards. His attention returns to the couch, but you guess he’s not technically thinking how nice of a person you are.
As you kneel, your hands tremble slightly, and you wonder when that started. You fumble for a larger shard of glass, bracing your hand against the floor for balance, unaware of the smaller piece lying dangerously close to your fingers.
The sting comes fast, slicing through the skin of your pinky. You flinch, raising your hand, and Logan, hearing the faint wince, abandons his task and crosses the room to you.
"I don’t need your advice," he echoes, mocking your tone as he squats beside you, his hand closing around yours to inspect the wound. "You’re bleeding."
“Brilliant observation, Sherlock. I hadn’t noticed—” The words die in your throat, your eyes widening as you take a closer look at his hand. “Wait, why are you bleeding?”
He snorts, diverting his attention to his own hand. “What do you mean I’m—” Whatever it is he intended to shoot back remains unsaid as both of you stare down at the small cut in his pinky.
Driven by instinct, you place your hands side by side, your finger grazing his. The cuts are identical: same place, same width, same depth. The only difference is his vanishes within seconds, leaving only a few droplets of crimson blood as evidence.
Logan couldn’t have cut himself. He was nowhere near the glass. “Are you…?” You swallow thickly, trying to string together a coherent thought, dizziness making its triumphant appearance. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yes.”
“And what is that—”
“I need a drink.”
“Can you stop acting like a dick for one second?” You peer into his glossy eyes, watching him try to avoid your gaze, though he can’t seem to resist. “Please, Logan. Look at me.”
When he does, his mouth parts as if to speak, then closes again. “I don’t understand. I thought I didn’t have a soulmate.” His gruff tone slows even further, like he's straining to push the words from his lungs. “I thought—I thought I was alone.”
It explains so much: how your scars had reappeared once he and Wade returned from The Void.
The instant attraction, the yearning to be near him.
The dread that washed over you each time he walked away.
The dreams that plagued your nights, and the tightness in your chest these past few weeks that made you wonder if you could ever coexist in the same space as him without breaking apart.
All those times you felt he was getting closer weren’t just a figment of your imagination—he was, in fact, right there.
But he wasn’t just anyone—it was him. Logan is your soulmate. You two are meant to be together. How long would it take for you to truly believe it? Until it no longer sounded like something too good to be true?
Without uttering a sound, Logan gazes at you, silently pleading to see them. To see your scars. You extend your arm, and with a gentle motion, he rolls up the sleeve of your shirt, revealing the marks etched into your skin.
He runs his fingers along the lines, trying to understand the bond you now share—both his and yours.
In a sense, you’re his. You carry his scars, the physical manifestation of the life he has lived. Even though he may not bear any of his own, you do, and that’s more than enough.
He belongs to you just as much as you belong to him.
“There are more,” you tell him. your voice barely above a whisper. He stands, offering you his hand, and you take it, rising to your feet. Logan inches closer, his mouth hovering just above yours, his large hand coming up to cup your cheek.
The look he gives you is one reserved for those he loves, a look filled with such warmth and affection that it almost feels dreamlike.
“Do you want me to see them?” he inquires, and all he needs is a nod from you to gently tug your shirt up your chest and over your head.
He lets out a dry chuckle when you attempt to tame your hair, the effort proving to be in vain. The clock on the wall seems to pause its ticking the moment his fingers begin to trail each of the scars that captures his gaze.
You can’t even begin to fathom what thoughts might be swirling in his mind, but if the flicker of lust and desire you catch in his expression is anything to go by, you’re not so worried.
Logan’s touch carries an unexpected softness, a tenderness you never imagined a man like him could possess.
Deep down, you wish he understood that these scars don’t hurt, that they never have. “I’m okay,” you reassure him, prompting him to explore more of your skin, to claim you as his.
“Do you… like them?” he asks without meeting your eyes.
Do you like my scars? is the real question hidden underneath.
Do you like me? is the one he can’t bring himself to pronounce.
“They’re yours. I could never not like them.”
Before you stands a man you once believed was meant to be your burden, your trial. Logan had been the earthquake sent to test your endurance, to see how much you could withstand before surrendering and waving the white flag.
The same fingers that once imprinted his mark on you now linger on the strap of your bra, waiting for you to decide whether to let him go further or stop.
Desire has a limit before it overwhelms. There’s only so much need a person can contain before it spills over, uncontrollable and raw.
This game, one you never learned how to play, feels as foreign to him as it does to you—neither of you knows the rules.
“Can I see more?” He’s still talking about the scars, still fumbling with the strap, and you nod, your eyelids growing droopier as you take his free hand and direct it to the front of your jeans.
He catches the hint, undoing the button with ease, allowing you to shed the last layers of restraint.
Bare, moments away from being completely naked, standing in stark contrast to Logan, who remains fully clothed, your stomach does a flip as he rubs his thumb along the sides of your underwear.
Leaning your forehead against his shoulder, you stifle a sigh when he splays his hand across your lower back, pulling you closer.
His rough grip tightens on your ass, testing the feel of you, while your breathing becomes shallow, erratic.
“What is it, honey?” He slides his fingers your stomach, just below your belly button, brushing a small scar in there. “Want me to touch you?”
“Yes,” you croak, the plea slipping out involuntarily, throwing your arms around his neck. He buries his face against your jaw, his lips parting against your skin, trailing open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your neck.
You tilt your head back, exposing more of your throat to him, breathless as you whisper: “I’ve waited so long.”
He moves toward the couch, and you follow, trying to anticipate what he’s got planned for you. “I know, baby. I know. You’ve waited long enough.” Guiding your body down, he has you lying horizontally on the sofa. He unhooks your bra, kneading your breasts with both hands, eliciting a ragged gasp from you. “But I’m here now. You don’t have to wait any longer,” he huffs by your ear, rolling your nipples between his fingers, his breath mingling with yours, each exhale warm and inviting. “Gonna let me make you feel good? Show you how much I’ve been thinkin’ about you?”
Instead of answering with real words, you surge forward, crashing your lips against with his, reveling in the way he cages you with his biceps, locking you up in a prison of desire from which you never wish to break free. He tries not to settle his full weight on top of you, attentive not to crush you.
As he nips at the column of your throat, you squirm beneath him, canting your hips up to seek the friction you crave.
He presses his knee against your center and you push back, grinding against him with an animalistic urgency.
You can’t recall ever feeling this desperate, this overwhelmed by a man. But then again, he’s unlike any other you’ve encountered in your array of momentary hookups.
His kisses grow even more insistent as breathy moans roll off to your tongue, merging with the occasional creak of the couch beneath your movements.
Logan spreads your thighs wider, sinking to his knees on the floor to tug your lower half forward until your ass is almost hanging in the air. He places your thighs on his shoulders, supporting you as he leans in to pepper your soft flesh with kisses.
One can be certain that he’s marking your inner thighs with a hickey or two, the scratch of his beard feeling magnificent against your sensitive skin, and you can hardly bring yourself to think about the potential burn he’ll leave behind. Logan inhales your scent, the tip of his nose dangerously close to your cunt, and you tangle a hand in his hair as he continues to test your patience.
“Eager?” he wonders aloud, looking at you through his lashes. While maintaining eye contact, he presses a kiss to your clit through the fabric of your panties.
He does it again, and you bite your lip hard enough to draw blood, his fingers deftly pulling your underwear down your legs.
The first drag of his tongue along your folds has you scrunching your eyebrows in pleasure, tightening your grip on his hair. Logan moans against you, the sound muffled as he dips the tip of his tongue into your entrance, lapping at your arousal with an insatiable hunger.
The way you purr his name—a soft caress, a pat on his back that says Yeah, you’re doing fine—only spurs him on, infusing every one of his ministrations with fervor.
His longing for you radiates in the intensity of his touch, sending shivers through you, making you writhe because of his hands alone.
Your core throbs. Your skin prickles with electricity. Your legs quake on either side of his face. He’s hungry and you’re his feast. He’s parched and you’re the last bottle of water in an arid world.
Logan eats you out like this will be the only time he’ll have the privilege—each movement calculated, pushing all the right buttons, pulling out every trick he knows to make you think No, it doesn’t get any better than this. This is as much as one can get.
Then his fingers join the symphony of pleasure, pumping in and out of you as he keeps flicking your clit with expert precision, and your back arches from the couch, following his pace with your hips. He pushes back, you push forward—he pushes forward, you push back.
Who is enjoying this more: him or you?
His pointed tongue teases your bud, matched with the persistent hammering of his fingers plunged into your wet heat. The combination has you coming on his mouth, falling over the precipice while you struggle to keep yourself together.
Your walls flutter around his digits, and your cries fuse with his groans, both overshadowed by his insatiable desire to savor until the last drop of your release.
Shockwaves ripple through your body and you prop your weight on your arms to capture his lips in a fervent kiss, your eyes rolling rolling back in ecstasy as you taste yourself, a mix of sour and sweet.
In a frenzy, he sheds his clothes, practically tearing them away, and you wrap your hand around his length, stroking him in time with your kisses. Logan pulls back, panting against you, and you steal a glance at him.
Your gaze travels down to his hard cock, the tip a furious red, and he seizes your wrist.
“Why don’t you kiss it better?” he rasps, his voice dropping an octave. In this moment, you’re taken aback by his beauty, and the urge to express it rises within you.
“You’re so beautiful,” you murmur against his thigh, showering his skin with heated kisses. You stare in disbelief at the trail of hair leading to his girth, mouth watering at the sight.
A kiss on the tip, followed by a broad lick along a prominent vein—Logan’s grip on the armrest tightens, his knuckles turning white. “So perfect.”
“Shut up,” he retorts breathlessly, but you revel in the strangled noise that escapes him as you take him deeper, his head disappearing between your lips. His palm rests on your nape, anchoring you in place. “Goddammit. The fuckin’—mouth you have on you.”
You try to take him in further once you’re feeling more confident, while Logan fights with all his might against the need to thrust his hips up into your warmth. He can’t stay still, grunting and smothering you with lavish praise that heightens your arousal, slick pouring out of you in waves.
“Pretty thing you are. Don’t even know how to function around you. You got me all—fuck, actin’ all stupid.”
At one point, he tells you to stop, because he doesn’t want to come just yet. You know what comes next as he rubs his cock along your folds, blending your wetness with his precum.
It’s sloppy, and dirty, and messy—and God, do you love it.
He sinks into you and the world collides in a way you never expected. Everything you thought you knew falls apart, leaving you stranded in unfamiliar territory.
You can’t comprehend how you’ve spent so many years without him. Without this.
Your lips find his, and he swallows every sound he punches out of your lungs. His thrusts grow harder and faster as you adjust to his size, how big he feels inside you.
He digs his fingers into the globes of your ass, yanking you towards his shaft every time he fucks into you. You feel the brush of his balls against your skin, the way his muscles flex beneath your touch.
To this day, it’s still hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that love is what humans both strive and die for.
You come to understand it fully as his eyes flicker to yours, checking for any signs of discomfort in your features.
You understand why people write books and songs about love when he breathes your name in the shell of your ear, chanting how good you’re taking him, how tight and wet you are for him.
You understand the place love occupies in your life as the sound of your bodies slapping together creates a melody which has never been played before.
You understand why you’ve searched for this your entire life, lifting every carpet in hopes of uncovering the love you’ve pined for.
In the past, it had always felt like a race—finding your soulmate before the clock struck twelve. Now that you have him, you wonder what the future holds for you, how this connection will evolve.
For now, you can allow yourself the possibility of relishing the drag of his cock in your interior. His pace doesn’t falter for a second—something about mutants and their non-stop stamina, no doubt. He shoves a hand between your sweaty bodies, rubbing circles on your already swollen bud.
Each time he fills you to the brim, you have to ground yourself, resisting the pull of an altered reality.
“So full,” you blurt out, mewling with a specially hard thrust, a chocked sob lodged in your throat. “Please, stay.”
It could mean many things: Please, keep fucking me. Please, don’t leave after this. Please, remain by my side form this moment onward, because I don’t know how to go on with my life now that I’ve experienced this closeness.
Whatever meaning he ascribes to your words is of little importance. He tightens his arms around you, kissing you deeply, tongue and teeth clashing as they compete to see who wins the battle. “Never. I’m never lettin’ you go, y’hear me?”
Heat pools in your lower back, a coiling tension radiating through your limbs. “You’re mine, princess. Can’t afford to lose you now that I found you. Gonna remind you every day.”
His rambling pushes you over the edge, your dripping cunt spasming around him as you reach your climax, moaning his name against his shoulder. You cling to him, convulsing beneath his body, and he grinds his hips into yours, his chest rumbling as he growls.
“Inside,” you mumble, extending your hand to press it to his waist. “Need you inside me. Please, I want it so bad.”
Logan stutters against you, his forehead falling against your collarbone as he finishes with one powerful thrust, his cock pulsing warm ropes of come within your cunt. You clench around him, whining as he prolongs both your pleasure and his, milking the last drop of his seed. His voice is a constant murmur, filling every space in the room until he slumps against you.
Night has fallen. The cut on your pinky no longer stings. Your scars, after all, are still there, nestled against Logan’s unmarked skin. You caress his back, sighing contentedly as a wave of peace washes over you.
You’ve never felt this relaxed.
Logan grasps your chin and tilts it up, a subtle smirk tugging at his lips. “Hey,” he mutters, his gaze roaming all over your face.
You cup his cheek, his rough stubble grazing your palm. “Hey, stranger. Long time no see.”
A genuine laugh pierces through the silence. the kind he rarely allows himself. Crinkles form at the corners of his eyes, his brow furrowing as he glances at you with love.
Love—hadn’t you pondered its existence for so long? Your fuel for living, the muse behind your best poems, a recurring motif in your fantasies.
Love now has Logan’s name written in ink, no longer a blank canvas awaiting its unknown owner. No—it’s all his now.
You’d do it all over again if it meant ending up like this, tangled and intertwined, with the promise of a future together. He has many stories to share—about his past universe, about himself. You have secrets to unveil, too. There’s so much you both have yet to discover about each other.
But time isn’t up. This isn’t a race, you remind yourself: things are just getting started.
Everywhere you go, every place you attempt to set foot in, there it is. Love is dressed up in an expensive silk robe, a ribbon tied neatly on top of it. You reach closer, trying to unravel it, though it's pointless. The moment love sees you—truly sees your longing for it—it flees, and you struggle to keep up. Love runs faster than anyone, hiding within the bushes, counting the seconds until its next appearance.
Finally, you’ve wrapped love around your finger.
dividers by: @cafekitsune thank you!!! <3
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